#chicaco pd imagine

[i-spaced-sorry]

#42

If We Were Vampires by Jason Isbell and 400 Units

This song is probably supposed to be about cancer, but the first time I heard it last February, I thought of Jay and Hailey immediately.

So I wrote this with the lyrics (below the cut), hope it turned out all right.

It's not the long, flowing dress that you're in Or the light coming off of your skin

The day was not the picture-esc dream little girls fantasize about, but then again, nothing in her life was. She was standing in the courtroom with the love of her life dressed in her best ‘work attire’ while he wore a button up and his signature blue jeans. It wasn’t the picture-esc dream every little girl dreams about but it was perfect to her.

The fragile heart you protected for so long Or the mercy in your sense of right and wrong

She can remember when she first met him. She was a strong willed detective that didn’t believe love existed in the way Hollywood made them out to be. He was the first guy to ignite something in her. From the first case they worked together, she felt like she could follow him blind.

It's not your hands searching slow in the dark Or your nails leaving love's watermark

That night was reserved for passion and romance. Two things 17yr old her didn't think was possible to co-exist together. He made her feel so good in more ways than one that night and she wished they didn’t have to work the next day.

It's not the way you talk me off the roof Your questions like directions to the truth

Being married to her best friend and love of her life is great until secrecy begins, the guy she would follow blind is doing questionable actions at work, and his side of the bed is beginning to feel cold with the lack of his presence. But he isn’t too far gone to forget to let her know that he still loves her.

It's knowing that this can't go on forever Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone

He too soon wakes up and becomes self aware with what he is turning into, what he is becoming. He hates it and decides to find direction in a new career. He knows this hurts her, but knows in the long run it will help.

Maybe we'll get forty years together But one day I'll be gone Or one day you'll be gone She throws herself into her work, thinking that the 8 months will go by faster that way. Soon she finds herself not going home and barely getting any sleep. She imagines it would be easier that way, but all she sees at work is his empty chair across from her desk. Waiting for him to come home.

If we were vampires and death was a joke We'd go out on the sidewalk and smoke

She begins to think about the what if’s of the situation. What if they had a different career. What if they met in high school? Would he even be friends with her if they met in high school? She was a loner kid, who used school to escape her toxic abusive household and he probably used sports for the same thing, if any of the conversations about his dad had anything to go off of.

And laugh at all the lovers and their plans I wouldn't feel the need to hold your hand

She finds herself feeling the parallels of their relationship in everything she does. Like when she grabbed the coffee from the center console with her non-dominant hand. She is reminded of the time he stole her coffee and drank it. She just wishes she could feel the parallel from the night he proposed, when she sat on the couch and he came walking in the door and she looked up.

Maybe time running out is a gift I'll work hard 'til the end of my shift

Overtime, working the Sean case, and working with the other officers in the unit kept her busy which she was grateful for. She felt that if she threw herself into her work, maybe she’ll also find herself just like he is. So when he returns they can be more in sync.

And give you every second I can find And hope it isn't me who's left behind

When the team finally wraps up a new case they were working on, she finally decides to go home, if nothing else to just fall into bed. But when she walks through the door, she feels like she is hallucinating. Dancing while cooking in the kitchen, with his back towards her is her guy. He came back for her. He didn’t lose her, while trying to find himself and the wait was worth it.