#maybe the lighting doesn't make sense but im trying out new things !!

[teddybearsims]

Music's the only thing that makes sense anymore, man. Play it loud enough, it keeps the demons at bay.

[greyyson-but-no]

yellow is the colour of his eyes

they weren't, though. they were blue, but somehow he radiated yellow. just his brightness, his ability to light up a room. he was the colour yellow. and he was currently halfway across the world from you. it didn't make any sense. you thought he was supposed to be the person you would end up with and yet, he was in a different continent and you were stuck at a desk in england working a job you hated.

why you had taken the job, you didn't know.

currently, you were sat at home, on the phone late at night because of a stupid time difference that meant you were never able to even talk to him. you thought living in a different apartment block was different, you never would have believed you would be trying to continue dating him when living in different countries. but the two of you were trying, and that's what was important. the act of trying.

his voice came through soft. "sweetheart? you still with me?"

bringing you out of your head, you grumbled and nodded even though he couldn't see you. "yeah. just about."

"what's the matter?" and he immediately knew something was wrong, just as he always did when you were just a five minute walk from his apartment. "you can tell me."

"i miss you? I think." you coughed away from the phone, nervous for what this conversation would lead to, what it might not lead to and the incorrect implications he may take from it. "I don't know. this is so difficult and I'm struggling so much. and yeah. it's nice to hear from you but it's getting rarer and rarer and I don't know how much longer I can do this for."

chandler hummed on the other end, noises of him shuffling around on his bed echoing through. "i understand."

slowly, that lump was starting to form in the back of your throat, voice going all wobbly like it had been doing a bit too much recently. "it's just... im stuck in this dead end job that I feel like I'm never going to get out of, and at the same time my boyfriend that I love with my whole heart is in another country and I barely see him anymore that it doesn't even feel like we're together anymore."

"honey... I don't know what to say."

you sighed, fiddling with the chord of the telephone. "yeah i know. me neither. it's too difficult."

"it's christmas soon, maybe I could come and visit over the holidays?" he offered. "I'd have to take some time off work but that's something I'm willing to do for you."

"your work hate you taking days off though. didn't they say it's a risk of demotion?"

chandler laughed lowly, shaking his head. "anything for you."

"chan, I couldn't ask you to do that." you told him, biting your top lip as you weigh up the price of seeing him again with the price of him risking his recent promotion. as much as you would kill to see him again, to hold him, his job was just too important to him. joey and him needed the money in new york with joe losing his place on days of our lives. you couldn't ask him to risk that. "im saying no, chandler, I'm sorry."

he hummed again, clearly put down by your words. "yeah I know, it's too risky."

"maybe..." but you faded your words, not wanting to even think of what your brain was telling you. the thought was making you distraught. and you'd just had a whole thing about its the act of trying that matters most. the two of you couldn't just give up.

but chandler caught it, eyebrows furrowing in manhatten, monica and joey looking over at him from where they were sat in the living room. "what? maybe what?"

you shook your head, even though again he couldn't see. "nothing. just..."

"go on."

"maybe this is too difficult. maybe we shouldn't..."

"darling, what are you saying?"

you sighed, falling backwards onto your bed, letting the duvet surround you. "maybe we should stop trying."

chandler didn't speak for a bit. on the other end, he had fallen against the wall, not being able to believe what you had just said to him. his shoulders dropped and his voice did too, not understanding what was happening. "are you..." he coughed. "is that it then? are you breaking up with me?"

"I'm sorry. I wish this was easier."

"yeah. mhm." was all he mumbled, before pulling his ear away from the phone and ending the call, disrupted, slamming it against the stand on the side of the wall.

a week later, you were groggy, tired, and every bone in your body felt like someone had smacked each of them with a hammer individually until they shattered. but this would be worth it. the plane journey was terrible, with several babies crying throughout and some guy next to you that hogged the arm rest. but once you had your notebook out, planning what to say to him, all of that zoned out.

the cab was okay. you spoke with the driver bit and used his conversational skills to text what your plan was. he thought it was a good idea, even when you had explained what happened.

when the cab stopped outside the apartment block, you thanked him, paid him and continued to run straight upstairs, your bag knocking against any wall and any stair possible with the speed you were running at.

quitting your job wasn't difficult for you. the night after the break up you didn't sleep, contemplating what you could possibly do to change the decision you had made. the only one that made sense was quitting the job you had only just taken and move back to new york to be with him again. the company had been sad to see you go, and your boss specifically kicked up a fuss but you had made your decision.

chandler was who you needed.

this was definitely the right decision. it didn't matter that your parents didn't like him, or that they wanted you in a steady job in a country you knew. but new york was your home. the guys and the girls were your home. the apartment with ross was. chandler was your home.

that was the final thought that occurred to you as you opened the purple door to the apartment you had missed so much. chandler would either be here, his own apartment or central perk. this was the first and best bet.

"chandler?" he turned on the sofa, the rest of the group turning too but you didn't even notice them, even though they were all there, you were too occupied. "chandler."

he stood up abruptly. clearly, he didn't know what to do.

because after very possibly the worst break up of his life, you were standing right there. eight hours of plane on you, hair tied in two plaits and eyes drooping like you hadn't slept all week, but standing there in front of him, actually there.

"what?" he stepped around the settee, following you as you moved closer, nearer the table in the kitchen. "there's no way you're actually here."

you tilted your head. "I'm moving back."

"what?" his eyebrows furrowed.

"I quit my job." you explained, stepping closer to him yet again, not being able to figure out what he was thinking. "I never should have broken up with you. I never should have taken that job from my mum. I love you, and if you'll have me back, I'd like to move back to new york and be with you."

"are you sure?" his voice went low like it had over the phone last week. "you're not going to leave again?"

you shook your head. "never, I promise. I swear, pinkie swear."

chandler's expression softened, the blue in his eyes warming to that look that you knew so well. "honey, you are the only person I've ever wanted to commit to."

for the first time in two weeks, you grinned up at him, happier than ever to be in his arms again. his hands snaked around your waist, pulling you closer as your arms naturally fell around his neck, letting his nose nudge against your neck in a hug for the ages.

"thank god!" joey cried from where he sat on the ottoman. "cause even I was getting sick of him moping about."

the whole group laughed as you let your head fall onto his chest, gripping his sweater as your shoulders shook. chandler swiftly moved his head downwards so his lips were at your ear. his voice breathing against your skin as he spoke. god, you'd missed him.

"i missed you, wanna go celebrate?"

"if celebrating is implying what I think it is... then yes." you murmured back with a grin, hands against his chest and making sure you weren't loud enough for the rest of the group to hear.

chandler pulled back and grinned, taking your hand in his as he turned to the rest of the group. "we're gonna call it a night guys, jet lag is crazy and you know... we've got catching up to do."

"they're gonna go have sex, right?" joey asked, just as the two left, earning a laugh from the rest of the group.

you knew the answer to his question, very easily.

[kiyomitakada]

This is for research, Light reasons. Curiosity. He’s been on plenty of Kira fanwebsites; it makes sense to conduct an impromptu survey on how he’s seen in a rather different audience.

Research.

He holds his breath and clicks.

Title: got so close (but then you lost it) Rating: E Category: F/F Fandom: Kira Investigation RPF, how the fuck is that a canon tag Ship: L/Kira Tags: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Object and Concept Anthropomorphism, i think kira should take the L for once, if you know what i mean - Freeform

Notes: hahahahahaa hiiiii yall bet you thought you’d seen the last of me. its been a couple of rough months but im back! if my therapist sees this uh. sorry? this counts as processing my feelings right

Maybe Light should stop. Surely a work written by someone who doesn't even use apostrophes or punctuation consistently can't be good quality. Besides, what is a work about a serial killer doing in the E rating? Doesn't that mean E for Everyone?

…Then again, it's not like he's reading this for its literary value, he reasons. It's just. Research. Curiosity. If it's really bad, maybe he can make fun of it with Ryuk.

Kira throws the doors of the final room open. Her voice rings out loud and clear: "Where are you, L? Hiding like a coward?" She receives no answer. Kira exhales, brushing her free hand against her T-shirt. There's no need to hurry. She has all the time in the world; the alarms are disabled and she's killed all the guards, after all. Tracking down L's hidden compound had been the difficult part. It was easier than pie to break in. At last, she thinks, this will be her perfect victory.

Oh god. Oh god, someone put effort into this. Light doesn't know whether to be flattered or horrified.

(Why can he hear this in his voice?)

The control room is silent but for the humming of thousands of monitors mounted on the walls, all displaying static now thanks to Kira's interference. "I know you're there, L," Kira says, taking one step forward. Then another. "You can't hide from me forever." "You're right," says a new voice. "I wasn't hiding in the first place." Kira turns towards it, gripping her scythe in one hand—

"My what," Light says aloud.

—and nearly gasps when she identifies the source: the large L painted on the back wall. Her mind whirls. Another recording, just like the one a million people had heard from the TV that day. L's hiding behind an image again. "Very funny," Kira says. She's blocked all the escape routes; the real L must be in this room somewhere. "Show yourself." "As you wish." And then the painted L peels off the wall. Kira jumps back despite herself. The scythe clatters to the ground. The L is just a few centimeters taller than her, a fact that Kira instinctively resents, and it's the same font as what Kira had seen on television: the smooth vertical curve, the jagged angle, the protrusions from the spine. Her heartbeat quickens. Kira, despite being a magical girl—

"I'm a what?!"

—is ultimately still human. This… thing is decidedly not.

"Why am I the human one," Light mutters. She — he hasn't quite gotten the hang of this 'archive' yet, but he's searching for ones where he has wings later.

"What are you?" Kira asks, trying to flatten the tremble in her voice. "I am L," says L. "And I'm a girl, just like you." "You're a letter," Kira says. "An alive letter." "I wasn't always this way," L says. Its — her? — voice is matter-of-fact. "But it was… easier." "Easier to what?" "Tell me, Kira," L says. "Do you ever feel… uncomfortable in your own skin? Do you ever feel like you were born to be something else, something greater, something beyond your original form? Do you ever feel like you died a very long time ago?" Kira swallows, and stays silent. "Well, it doesn't matter," L dismisses. "It's far too late for you to change." "It's too late for anyone to change," Kira corrects. "You've seen recidivism rates. Criminals are rotten all the way to the core."

"That's not right," Light mumbles. Kira isn't just trying to get rid of all evil people in society; Kira is trying to scare everyone into being better. Of course behavior can be changed, corrected. What's the point of a new world if people can't improve on themselves?

…Then again. Light can't help but agree, just a little. Some people are beyond help.

(They have to be. Otherwise, why would the Death Note have dropped into her life?)

(She's doing the world a favor, honestly.)

"And what about me?" "Huh?" "Am I," and L leans in further, the serif tail at the top of the letter almost brushing Kira's cheek, "rotten to the core?" "I…" In an attempt to tear her gaze away from L, Kira finds herself tracing the lines of the letter with her eyes: the mathematically perfect arcs of her back interrupted by those sharp spikes of decoration. She feels herself oddly compelled to touch them.

Light pointedly does not think about the real L's hair.

What is she doing? Kira shakes her head, snapping out of her reverie, and dives for the scythe. Her fingers wrap around it just as she crashes into L's two-dimensional feet and L folds like a blanket, covering her in unexpected warmth before Kira scrambles back to her feet. "Monster," she shouts, pointing the scythe decisively, "I see you thus and I name you L!"

Well. That explains the magical girl thing. In retrospect, it does make more aesthetic sense than the notebook.

The scythe sparks; a beam of light bursts from its tip and — Stops. Kira watches in horror as it fizzes into nothing. A low chuckle fills the room. Something hot surges in Kira's chest: fury. "A bit difficult to conduct your magic when I have no face, isn't it," L says. She's shifted to lounge languidly on the floor, rather than sprawled awkwardly across it. "That's not — fair! Just looking at you should be enough!" "The world isn't fair, my dear Kira," L says. "As I'm sure you know best." Kira's free hand clenches into a fist. There's nothing for it. She's going to have to strangle this letter-girl. She's going to have to stop her breath at its root. "Well, Kira? What are you going to—" Kira drops the scythe and pounces. L twists away too late; Kira is already on her, one foot hooked over the bottom stroke of the letter to prevent her from running, her hands straining towards the juncture between L’s serif and vertical curve. L is so very warm, almost searing under Kira’s fingers as they close around her throat. L groans. The heat in Kira’s chest abruptly changes directions to pool in her stomach. It occurs to her distantly that if L can’t be counted as having a face, it’s entirely possible that she doesn’t need to breathe, either. Kira can’t bring herself to care. Here L is, her worst enemy, completely under Kira’s thumb — the exhilaration leaves Kira’s throat dry. "What do you think of that, L?" She tightens her grip. L makes a choked sound; the two lines of the letter’s throat shudder beneath Kira’s fingers. "You like that?" "Please," L gasps, "I need—" "Use your words," Kira hisses. Curiosity drives her to slide a finger into the crack between the two lines that make up L’s vertical stroke, and to her vicious delight L whimpers. "Come on, L, what do you want?" "Keep doing that," L says. The cool voice from the public broadcast, rendered into shreds. Kira desperately wants her to shut up forever. She unconsciously shifts her weight against L’s bottom stroke, hungry for friction. "Oh god, Kira, I…" "Yeah?" Kira wedges a second finger in, and has to bite her lip to stifle a moan when L bucks against her. "I dreamed about this," L manages, low like a confession. "Dreamed about y

"Light, Sayu! Time for dinner!"

Light slams her laptop shut so quickly she thinks she sprains a finger.

"Coming!" She yells downstairs, wincing at how out of breath she sounds.

Jesus fucking Christ. What was that? Why did she keep reading?

And. And wait. She? No, he. Light’s a he, no matter what weird people on the internet think, the same way L isn’t actually a letter. Right. She must have just gotten confused.

…He must have just gotten confused. Obviously.

(Something in Light’s ribcage pangs.)

He wills the blood away from his cheeks. He shouldn’t be surprised, frankly. Light is perfectly aware there’s porn of everything on the internet, even if it is marked E for Everyone.

…Wait.

Light opens his laptop again, scrolls as fast as he can to the top, then hovers over the E.

Oh. Ohhhh. Well. How was he supposed to know, he sulks. There should be a huge banner proclaiming THERE’S SEX IN THIS FAN FICTION for ease of access to first-time users. The world is truly rotting.

"Light?"

"On my way!"

Light shuts his laptop again, more gently this time, and opens the door.

Do you ever feel like you died a long time ago?

It is far too easy to imagine L’s mouth moving around the words.

Light closes her eyes against it. What a ridiculous question.

She can hear Ryuk’s laughter the whole way down.

[ @deathnotetober day 9: crack ship ]

[valentine-writes]

Can you do enemies to lovers with 1016 Miles?? :3

[ this will be my last req for this account, moving to my new blog officially once this one is up! catch me on @l0vem41l <3 reqs will be open there when i'm ready ＞︿＜ ]

overachiever

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, burnout, reader also attends visions academy, reader is trying so so hard to not be mean and fails (im so sorry), one-sided academic rivalry, author doesn't know how american schools work (i am so so sorry), comfort (?) 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3」

↳ ft. miles morales (1610)

author's note: YES I CAN!!! however,, i put a lil twist on the prompt given and made it academic rivalry (i genuinely cant find a viable reason to beef w/ miles i am so sorry (-﹏-；) !!) anyways! hope this works with you!!! soz itz so short!!! :[[

"wow," your friend's eyes light up, scanning over your test results, "...you've gotta be like, the smartest person i know."

you laugh politely, smiling at them as they hand your paper back. "no, it's really not that big of a deal–"

"what do you mean 'not that big of a deal?! dude, you got 100% on a test most people failed." your friend shoves their paper in your face as evidence– a 57% in red on theirs. "that's like... the highest grade achievable. probably the highest in cla–"

"THIS GUY GOT A 101%!"

everyone turns to the voice– the loud kid who sat behind miles eyeing his test.

you blinked in disbelief. you didn't even know getting extra credit was possible on this one.

miles looked up at the faces of his staring peers faces filled with disbelief and slight annoyance, and fumbled to set his test face down on his desk. he flashed an awkward grin "uh... yeah?"

-

▸ you liked miles. he was friendly. sweet. genuine. you couldn't hate him if you wanted to. no, you didn't feel hate towards him. it was just... jealousy. simple, petty, burning jealousy.

▸ visions academy was something you had to work your ass off for, constantly studying just to stay on the level of the students who attended. NERDS. all of them were nerds. but you were attending this school too sooo,,,

and then there was miles. someone who barely even had to try to get the highest grades. he had you seething.

▸ the most humiliating part was the fact that he had little to no interest in competing with you at all. the few times you had spoken were awkward and curt on your end, and yes– it felt awful being so mean for something as small as personal resentment.

▸ nothing justified your one word responses or the accidental snark that would slip into those few words. you mentally kicked yourself for the times you watched his grin falter because of something you said, miles awkwardly trying to laugh off whatever cold remark you just shot at him.

he'd walk away, dejected, and you'd stand there for a moment– frozen as you fought the urge to run up to him and try to explain yourself or beg for forgiveness. it didn't make sense to at this point. maybe he'd just accept this was the way you were– the way things would be between you two.

▸ so yes, perhaps in your pursuit of favouring school over every other aspect of your life, your social skills were left rotting and underdeveloped. but you knew, deep down, it wasn't just you being awkward.

being around him made you feel small. talking to someone, radiating the aura of someone with a promise-filled future made you look completely directionless and clueless in comparison. the effort you put into your academics was almost repulsive to think about when miles could take a test with a blindfold on and probably still score 90s.

maybe it was the deep set fear that you'd never amount to anything if you didn't burn yourself out trying. all of a sudden, the academic validation of being good wasn't enough. not when you were one of the best once.

▸ you spent an absurd amount of time trying to avoid him, deliberately moving to the furthest corners of the library so he wouldn't see you there struggling to wrap your head around whatever you were being taught in physics.

heavens above forbid that he walk up to you, greeting you with that sunny smile and cheerful voice that could make anyone falter. you may have been jealous of him– but oh, how you hated that feeling that way when he nothing but well-meaning.

-

the last sip of your coffee– long cooled by now thanks thermodynamics– did nothing to make you feel less dead. you had lost track of the time you had spent practically decomposing in this library, studying for an upcoming physics test that had you reeling just by the mere thought of it.

you sighed, staring at the papers strewn on the desk. your hands fidgeted with the pencil in your hand, it's eraser and tip rendered flat and useless by now, as you tried to muster the energy to gather your things to leave. it was much too late. the library would be closed soon and you'd be forced to go back home to study at your own desk in your bedroom.

this was routine. go to school, study in the library until it gets dark, and go home to study more– the next day, you'd find yourself still awake and studying or with a headache, your cheek pressed to the desk, and drool on your notebook. yeah. your bed hasn't been used in a solid while. and science homework isn't exactly the comfiest pillow. but this is what you were used to.

standing up, you stretched out a bit– and immediately froze as a familiar voice called your name. you paused, reluctantly turning to the source of the voice.

"...god, morales–" you huffed, "you nearly scared me half to death."

this is the friendliest you've been towards him in a while, he notices, as you flash him a tiny, crooked smile on your tired face. all potential malice you could have held had been beaten out by your absolute lack of energy.

he approaches you and looks at your desk, considering what to say to fill the silent air. he places a hand on your shoulder, you stiffen–

"hey." miles flashes a grin, not his signature smile but,, somewhat of a forced smolder.

you stare and resist the urge to cringe, wondering if you were sleep deprived to the point of hallucinations. you gently brush his hand off your shoulder.

"...hi?" you respond, unsure of what to do.

miles is snapped out of whatever stupid trance he was in by your voice.

"oh– uh– yeah, hey," he repeats your name again, trying to recover from whatever that was, "is– is everything okay?"

"i could ask you the same thing."

he lets out a little chuckle. "you know what i mean. all... this." miles' hand gestures vaguely to your desk and current state of complete entropy. "how long have you been here?"

you avert your gaze, shame burning in your face. "i... don't know?"

a pause.

miles places a hand on your back this time, in an attempt of friendly comfort. geez, are they keeping you locked in here?" he quips, earning half of a dry laugh from you. "c'mon. you should probably get home and rest by now."

"but–" your lips part in protest, looking back up at him to argue– but he just looks back, concern filled in his dark doe-like eyes. all possibilities of fighting him on this were out the window.

"you need it." he insists, a gentle smile forming on his face. much better than the weird smoulder from earlier, you think. "i'll even walk you there."

before you can speak up, he moves away from you, beginning to help you gather up your things to pack up. you mumble a silent thank you to him, which he accepts happily with a nod.

as he hands over the papers, his eyes scan them. "oh! physics? i love physics."

"no shit, morales." you scoff, snatching up the papers from him and stuffing them in your bag. "it sure seems to love you."

yet again, you've managed to mess things up. you bite the inside of your cheek before you can say anything worse. a sigh escapes your lips, as you decide to at least try and save the interaction.

"look... i'm really sorry. it's been a rough day, i've been struggling to get the concepts down, i'm falling behind and feeling stupid as hell right now, and– to make everything worse, the fucking test is just stressing me out and i just– i just..." you trail off from your ramblings, a sob getting caught in your throat as your shaky hands grip your backpack.

"woah, woah, hey– it's okay."

he slowly puts an arm around your shoulder, careful not to startle you or make you uncomfortable. you don't even realize how you lean into him. "let's just get you home. you've done your best, yeah?"

you nod. he offers you a little smile.

"exactly. and that's enough. okay? you're doing more than you can handle right now." there's a few more shared words as he reassures you.

part of him wonders how long this had been going on– how long you had been working yourself until you broke– mainly because that test that was stressing you out was more than a week away. yeah. he'd need to convince you to watch after yourself more often.

-

"and now a silly one!!!" (more lighthearted hcs below for the aftermath of this becuz goodness me.)

▸ things definitely ease up around miles. if he can't convince you to step away from your work, he's chosen to be able to regulate it.

studying with him in a local cafe is now a frequent thing you two do together. miles always gives you time to work, but will then ever so subtly lure you into moving on from your work to hang out with him normally. and it works. every single time. you might start in the library or cafe, but where you'll be later? always a mystery.

whether it's a walk in the park, going back to his place to chat, or finding some random activity to do, you find yourself bonding with him more and more. your jealousy begins to fade, finding a friend in him instead of someone you have to one up.

▸ you both spontaneously decided to see a new horror movie once and accidentally got miles in trouble with his parents for coming home after curfew. and he'd 100% do it again in a heartbeat if you asked.

▸ no matter what you get on that next test, miles is going to congratulate you like it's the best he's ever seen. he's overjoyed to share your achievements, to celebrate them like no one in your life ever has.

miles holds up his test as you tell him your grade. "you got a 92? hey look– me too!"

a snarky voice speaks up, "well, i got a 98% so–"

"no one was talking to you." miles retorts.

you press a hand to your mouth and look away, trying to stifle laughter. was he always this sassy or did you just end up rubbing off on him?

▸ you both end up being extra studious for the next test (breaks included this time) and he's sure to be extra loud about congratulating you for your perfect 100%

maybe the sass wasn't all you,,, but the minor pettiness definitely is your influence. it's actually not. miles is pretty easygoing,, but man did he not like when that random ass kid gave you attitude.

you smile at miles, ensuring to do the same for him if not, a little louder

"what? 'm complimenting you." you tilt your head at miles' stunned expression.

for a moment, he stumbles over his words. "i know– you just– i didn't expect that from you, so–"

you laugh. "what? you want me to go back to being mean or something?"

miles laughs too. it's hard not to stare at the way he lights up a room like this.

▸ things feel lighter now. you've made social progress with others, you have a life beyond just school– and you have miles. part of you wonders if you'll ever be able to tell him just how much he means to you and how you wish you could've just been his friend from the start.

sometimes, in the corner of his eye, he catches your wistful stare. and though he doesn't utter a single word, you start to feel that he cherishes you just as much.

[afantasyoffiction]

a lil intro :)

hi hello to anyone who's checking this out!

i’m caitlin, an aspiring fantasy writer and maybe poet, english literature nerd and general fandom weirdo who likes to talk a lot about all my many many obsessions :)

i'm new to actively participating on this site as opposed to watching thru the window of pinterest...but now that i write more and 9-1-1 in particular doesn't post on pinterest so much, i'm on here too rip

i talk about: writing, procrastinating writing, reading writing and characters in writing who drive me insane!

my writing: i write poetry which i will post on here occasionally! but my main writing that is intended for other ppl to read is fanfic, and my fantasy wip:

my fics that you can go read literally right now if you want:

just to sit outside your door - buddie post-hiatus wip

if I glued myself shut (you would find your way in) - buck's pov during the 'are his concerns your concerns', feeling realisation

you've haunted me so stunningly - eddie pov during the post -lightning convo w buck, based on that amazing edit making the rounds rn

just to sit outside of your (ipad screen) light - eddie post-hiatus mini fic, feelings realisation

the witches wip: a ya fantasy book (one day trilogy i hope!) about a world where witches are gone, but persecution of them isn't. trying to save her innocent sister from execution, my fmc gets dragged into a storm of political plotting, conflicting agendas and strange powers beyond her comprehension. a book about family, and realising that what you thought was a bedtime story might still be around to haunt you... tagged with #the witches wip

my ao3: a_fantasy_2 - all the good stuff is copied above! tags are #shameless fanfic plug and #caitlin's original writing

main fandoms: i have been in a ridiculous number of fandoms so this is not all of them but these are my main ones - bold are ones im currently in the trenches abt :)

9-1-1 (pls no ship war content tho i just cannot)

marauders (my og loml one true fandom its a canon event i fear)

good omens (book and tv show changed my life)

anything leigh bardugo but SoC and RoW especially

supernatural (its been a while but then again i'm fandom posting on this site so its kinda a given)

anything by chloe gong....(message me PLEASE. best ya fantasy writer and my literal writing idol)

EPIC the musical - i love this so freaking much, if you don't know what this is go find out u won't regret it

hamilton (i am in fact hamiltrash, unfortunately)

aftg (im not writing that out. if you know what that acronym is thats on you.)

tagging system: i got one of those creepy teeth 'frequent poster badges', so i think it might be time for me to get one of these. ahem. on an incoherent blog, i declare order:

#caitlin writes and yaps abt it - writblr content (these will almost always have the 'writblr' and 'writers on tumblr' tag as well)

#caitlin's homebrew hallucinations - any writing or OC content from my wips or poetry i share

#the witches wip - specific wip content!

#caitlin the english major - literature posts

#caitlin reblogs from even cooler blogs and/or #caitlin's moot besties - reblogging my moots or other cool ppl!

#caitlin does ask games / #caitlin does reblog games - making a separate tag bc i LOVE these

#shameless fanfic plug - fics that i write on ao3 and want to share here

#caitlin rambles miscellaneous - anything else thats incoherent

fandom posts will all be tagged with their fandom and with #caitlin a fandom nerd

sound good? let me know if this actually makes this blog make any more sense mk team

please send me: asks/posts/comments about these fandoms, short fic writing prompts within these fandoms, writblr content, writing questions, or literature thoughts :)

(pls don’t send me requests for money or ai content. i will block and delete, here’s why. )

basically reach out if you just want to ramble about any of these things because what else is tumblr dot com for ... seriously what. actually what was this site made for it beats me

[greenboyfriend]

pick an image! (tarot card reading)

image source ❁ image 1: an aged, leather book, with many, many pages. it makes you wonder what's inside, but due to its thickness, maybe it doesn't... ❁ image 2: a pleasant smile in the hands of gods. overlapping colorful wings form a small space in the middle. if you threw this at the wall, it'd definitely leave an imprint. ❁ image 3: a mysterious brass key. to what does its dainty swirls open? no one knows but you! how do I pick? everyone has their own method of getting in touch with their intuition. for me, when I know it's right, I feel a lightness in my chest, and when it's wrong, a pit in my stomach. don't think too much about it. whichever you choose will be right! BOOK A READING THRU DM/ASK!

1.・。.・゜✭

boy howdy, y'all.

you see the change you need to make, and yet you're still resisting? maybe you're scared of what this change will bring, but in your stagnancy, you're missing an opportunity for growth. the most important thing is that you tell the truth. right that wrong-- let everyone know what's really happening. whatever your reason for inaction might be, know that you do, in fact, possess the strength to overcome your issue(s), no matter how much you think you don't. you've already reached a major milestone, too, so why keep yourself in a box? reap that reward. you worked for it, after all! this important change will have to do with you clearing the air, speaking articulately, and being sure that you share the absolute, honest truth. consider a direction change. sure, what's gotten you here has worked wonders, but what will get you to your next goal? don't be afraid to try new things!

(7 of pentacles reversed, ace of swords reversed, king of swords, four of pentacles)

2.・。.・゜✭

whadda hell? such similar cards and yet such distinct meanings...

unlike those who chose image 1, you have not yet reached your goal. but don't worry! you're almost there!! you've just got to keep trying... easier said than done, right? it seems like you really want to give up, or are doubting yourself. this is a strong energy-- maybe you've been hurt in the past because of a similar situation, so you're refusing to acknowledge what's happening at all. maybe you don't believe in your own strength, but know that it is there. you've come all this way-- think of this as one more hurdle to jump before you take a lunch break. and what a wonderful lunch it will be, indeed!!! something that will be important will be finding out what's real and what's not. break up this complicated situation into segments and slowly analyze how all the pieces fit together. try to remain objective during this process, it is important for your future success. and finally, the scariest hurdle of all: simply having fun! you don't need to be guarded all the time, and maybe that's the lesson you're tackling right now. there's a very strong vibe of "recapturing innocence", in the (inno-) sense that you must shed the learned, knee-jerk responses of heartache. in order to feel better, you must let yourself free, but don't worry; your heart will always come back to you. don't let your inhibitions stop you from living the life you want to... need to....... deserve to live!!! so take that crazy chance and engage in unadulterated, unfiltered, unstoppable whimsy. this will be the key that takes you to new heights!!!

(ace of swords reversed-- this hoe really jumped out of the deck to see you. say hi..., the fool, 7 of pentacles reversed, king of swords)

3.・。.・゜✭

okay so everyone's going through it. okay

god damn. y'all really need a hug, a hot cup of cocoa, and a cat in your lap, because fuck!!! you're experiencing a betrayal. deserted in your time of need, you're left to wander far, far away from home... you will find happiness in trying new things and keeping your head up, but don't let discovery be your excuse to neglect your needs. above all else, you need to heal. this will be a time of balancing these two things: trying out new developments and changes, while also healing your emotional wounds. you may be more interested in the former than the latter. you may feel like you're too weak to face this pain, but know that hard times help redefine the person you are. it's easy to wave it all away and throw all your energy into what's new, but what will really matter when you're 75 and looking back on your life is how you treated yourself during this time. did you dutifully lick your wounds, tending to yourself as you wish someone else would? or did you discard yourself in the same way you discarded your feelings? it's a tough ask, and a bit shocking to think about, I know. but imagine looking back and feeling pride in how well you managed things, the comfort gained-- almost magically-- from yourself, and the good it did you. okay, okay im getting off my soapbox now! just know you're headed towards good things. it may be a long process, so be brave, and steady. take breaks! drink water! stand motionless in the shower for 30 minutes, it's ok if that's what you need to do cause guess what?!?! you deserve to be taken care of, especially by yourself!!!

(3 of swords reversed, ace of swords reversed, 2 of pentacles, 6 of swords reversed)

lots and lots and LOTS of love for all of you silly little geese. I wish the absolute best for you! although I don't need to hope for the best... because I know all of you will prevail!!! simply because ur interested in what ur intuition seeks to teach you. please accept my kind words even if im a stranger on the internet! please know you deserve every tender moment that life has to offer and more, because you're just a motherfucker who's out here trying their best, just like most everyone else, and oh my god no matter what anyone tells you that is enough!!!!!!! sorry. I got back on the soapbox. BUT ITS TRUE!!!

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2024-10-08

(Previous post - current page 666)

Just caught the tweet announcing an Update as soon it went up! From the look of the log it seems we're moving on, unless there was an addition to p666 which I doubt since they would have warned people to update their cache in the tweet or what have you. So it's time to finally move on from this page, I'm clicking that Next button!

I get the feeling from the log moving onward that this situation isn't going to be resolved in the next page, and we're either going to cut back later... or cut back to Vriska emerging from the Plot Point from John and the others' perspective, because we know she only has one thing left to do. (Other than the question of exactly how she's leaving there, which I assumed would be something special rather than the Plot Point simply "running out of time".)

(==>)

Yep, the resolution with Vriska is coming later.

ROSE: This is an impressive shield. ROSE: I don't think I've ever seen you make one this size before. JADE: ive been practicing! JADE: if i stay focused i should be able to keep it up for quite a while.

Oh heck I didn't notice, that's a cool-ass green Spacey shield with a Space symbol on it! That ought to be a tough nut to crack with any weaponry! (Is she protecting the ship, or the rebel forces maybe? The bubble doesn't seem to be wrapped around the meteor.)

ROSE: Honestly, if it gets to be too much of a hassle, we should be fine as long as the kids stay inside. ROSE: This ship was specifically designed to take a battering. JADE: from artillery maybe JADE: but who knows what kind of other nasty weapons jane has tucked away in her diabolical business pantsuit! JADE: its not like she tells jake everything JADE: or almost anything, really JADE: when it comes to the kids id rather be safe than sorry ROSE: Sure.

Ohh, of course they're shielding the ship, especially the part containing the children. A good chance they won't just stay inside though, especially given this caveat being announced-- though whether they can or can't get through Jade's shield is a different story, unless they break out some new powers or the ship's possible transportalizers.

JADE: by the way JADE: i saw kanaya leave earlier ROSE: She's meeting Karkat on the field. JADE: without you? ROSE: Yes. ROSE: She made it pretty clear that it wouldn't be wise for me to join her. JADE: oh... ROSE: Mhm. ROSE: Some barb about the danger of me "Being Maimed Quite Viciously" on account of all humans looking the same once the bloodshed begins. ROSE: Then she shot me a peace sign and walked away. JADE: ugh, im sorry rose :(

Yeah, Kanaya's off working out some SERIOUS stress most likely. And Rose was very awful pulling that Sapphire future vision excuse to avoid contending with the emotions of the present, to "stop trying" with her. Hopefully someone or something lights some sense under her ass, maybe something to do with the children and them going off to do something dangerous simply because Rose hadn't bothered with the trouble of discussing more of the live situation with them... I dunno. She clearly needs something jarred loose about her attitude, if what Jade said earlier didn't explicitly do it. Maybe Jade can help more right now?

JADE: this should never have happened JADE: between yiffys capture and rescue and finding dave... JADE: like that... JADE: i just feel like my life flashed before my eyes and it made me a little crazy! JADE: after being unconscious for a bit things feel way clearer now ROSE: Nothing beats a rump to the skull for mental clarity.

Oh my god, Tavros actually knocked her out cold when he fell from the ceiling?! (And I'm reminded again that she was carrying the stuffed corpse or arm of someone, presumably Dave but we can't be 100% sure.) I wonder if this is trying to make excuses for some of her Candy-timeline behavior... though out of all of them, she has the least to excuse, really? I feel like both versions of her were remarkably in character and didn't do nearly as much weird potentially-Muse-guided stuff like Roxy and others at that initial funeral for Dirk back in the epilogues.

JADE: the mistakes we made are so obvious to me now JADE: embarrassingly obvious! JADE: we should never have talked to john in front of kanaya, for one thing JADE: they required way different approaches ROSE: Oh, so that was the problem? JADE: one of them at least

Bolding Rose for dryly pointing out that this is VERY MUCH a backslide into the wrong approach to this entire situation that Jade's having, focusing on the actions required to approach or defuse each person as if fulfilling video game objectives, trying to make everyone happy instead of trying to come clean and trusting the others to do as they will. She's trying to control (Witch) the situation too much, which was her issue in the Candy timeline in the first place.

JADE: i definitely wasnt expecting you to say all THAT either JADE: but i know she hit a sore spot so its understandable why you lost your temper JADE: its my fault for panicking ROSE: Interesting. ROSE: I didn't even realize I was mad. JADE: i mean JADE: it brought me back to the last time i mentioned your mom and you flipped that table ROSE: I was eighteen. JADE: you didnt talk to me for a month! ROSE: Eighteen years old. JADE: yeah and i havent tried to talk to you about it since!

Oh damn, those are some gigantic fucking unresolved Mom issues she has in this version of events that it sounds like she should have seen a psychologist or dozen about! D:

JADE: look all im saying is JADE: i understand why things went downhill the way they did and im not going to get caught off guard again JADE: this whole situation is my fault and even though it just keeps getting more frustrating and shitty im going to do right by you JADE: were going to figure this out ROSE: Are you sure it's prudent to keep this amateur marriage counselor performance up? JADE: rose... JADE: youre taking this seriously JADE: right? ROSE: I don't know what you mean by that.

Jade is still thinking she has to be in control and responsible for everything... and Rose is so afraid of tackling everything that she's practically dissociated from her own marriage. Her distorted Seer of Light vision or not, that's not going to help-- again, Steven Universe taught us that with Sapphire in Keystone Motel.

(==>)

COOL-ASS shot of Jade and her adorable pawprint gloves-- goofy shot of Rose with her short hair practically invisible. :D

JADE: i think you do but bleh whatever as long as we don't have a repeat of last time we can still position you as the good guy JADE: or at least less of a bad guy JADE: though playing stupid and cajoling her into slapping me around for catharsis wont work anymore JADE: well have to think of something else... ROSE: Jade, I've been compliant with these clumsy machinations partially because they weren't all that consequential at the time, but you need to cut your losses. ROSE: It's time to start looking beyond the end of your own nose, and accept that these methods aren't going to work. ROSE: This is not a situation you can win. JADE: im not trying to "win" anything!

Yes she is, this is exactly what I was talking about! Jade treating this like a problem to be solved instead of confronted, much like she did with trying to be in a relationship with Dave and Karkat at once in this timeline, instead of allowing others agency to help determine the endpoint of the situation. Because if she's too controlling, those methods themselves are going to dismantle her efforts, which at least Rose recognizes even if SHE'S wrong about other things.

JADE: im trying to be an adult and not run away from this ROSE: Look, I know better than anyone the satisfaction of gaming people's reactions and getting into their heads. JADE: (oh my god are you even listening to me) ROSE: But it's a losing game. ROSE: You're going to push too hard, or misconstrue something critical, or cross another line. ROSE: And you'll regret it. ROSE: That's not conjecture, it's a guarantee.

She IS right. But she's also being defeatist to avoid opening up and admitting fault, and ESPECIALLY to avoid confronting any uncomfortable emotions or problems she's still stopped trying to confront both without and within herself. That Mom stuff especially from the sound of it. Maybe unpacking that at some point soon will help shake Rose loose a bit.

JADE: youre so frustrating to talk to these days! JADE: "ohhhh bluh bluh blah i can see the fruitlessness of all our clumsy insignificant thrashing in fates cosmic current" JADE: dont forget im more than a little versed in future sight myself ok JADE: i dont care how credible it seems, you cant depend on that information!

An allusion to her long, long childhood stint inverted to Seer of Time and guiding everyone with Skaia's clouds before she was knocked violently loose from the habit out onto a true path of active agency!

ROSE: I know it's hard to hear, but you need to take a second to think about what I'm saying. ROSE: Don't you feel the least bit relieved? ROSE: You've spent so many years wrangling this dirty little secret. JADE: that "dirty little secret" is my fucking daughter ROSE: Well, now she's not a secret anymore. ROSE: You don't have to shoulder the burden of keeping her tucked away from everyone in the entire world for fear of the consequences, because the consequences have happened. ROSE: You're free to invest all that energy elsewhere. ROSE: Maybe work on yourself a little bit. ROSE: We could even unpack the hamster guy. JADE: oh we are not talking about the fucking hamster guy JADE: i don't want to talk about any of it really!

It's kind of fascinating how they've constructed a conversation where not only are BOTH parties acting so wrong, they're also completely right in naming each other's faults. Jade, the problem *IS* that you don't want to talk about it.

JADE: ever again! JADE: thinking back to that whole conversation makes my skin crawl!!! JADE: "abloo hoo hoo, my life is a monkey paw, everything i want hurts me in the end" ROSE: It was a little pathetic. JADE: I KNOW!

Jade has been hiding her vulnerability from the ENTIRE WORLD to the point where she essentially wanted to stop existing, except vicariously through her daughter, and she thinks now that it's been uncorked a little she can just go RIGHT BACK to never dealing with her problems ever again. NOPE! Doesn't work that way, Jade!

JADE: it had nothing to do with what we were trying to DO JADE: it just derailed everything... JADE: and worst of all, yiffy heard it! JADE: ugh!!!! ROSE: You can't keep trying to control the narrative forever, Jade.

Hah!!! (Bolded for emphasis.) Controlling the narrative, controlling her friends, controlling reality because reality IS "the narrative" here (and Space is the story's pages).

Geez I've had a lot to say and I'm only partway through the second page of this upd8.

ROSE: If Kanaya wants to hate me, or punish me, she has every right to. ROSE: She asked for the truth. JADE: oh come off it!!! JADE: the truth is whatever people WANT to believe JADE: you can either try forcing them to understand your side JADE: leave it completely in their hands and take no responsibility JADE: or you work with their wants and perspectives JADE: and make some informed compromises ROSE: Over the state of reality? JADE: rose i am begging you can you please cut it out with all the cryptic cosmic crap and come back down to earth???

Rose is absolutely WAY too defeatist here, and Jade is still trying to take too much control. FORCING them to understand your side? It's impossible for people to perfectly understand each other-- and mutual understanding takes time and being open about yourself. Jade had to be forcibly pried open into revealing what vulnerabilities she actually had here and she thinks it's pathetic and regrettable, instead of the biggest step towards salvaging this situation that anyone has taken so far, which it was!!! Taking responsibility means taking responsibility for your own flaws; at least Jade is right here that Rose is basically taking NO RESPONSIBILITY AT ALL for her side of the relationship, consigning it all to fate so she doesn't have to work on herself. Neither of them want to confront what's wrong inside their own hearts and their own insecurities. (When really they should be opening up about themselves and getting closer to my Kanaya/Rose/Jade OT3 ship. /s )

ROSE: Things aren't like they used to be, Jade. ROSE: There are no right or wrong routes, anymore. ROSE: Just a tangle of meandering side-paths. JADE: so what, that gives you a free pass to self-destruct? JADE: the best choice was to "double down and say a bunch of horrible insane shit to your wife" ?

Rose still feels deep down that because this isn't a "relevant" timeline anymore, that nothing here matters, just like Vriska used to. Maybe if they pull off the Plot Point plan and forcibly drag this timeline closer to relevance, something will kick off in Rose's mind that tells her, GUESS WHAT, THE STAGE LIGHTS ARE ON, you can't just say that this entire timeline doesn't matter anymore? Hmm.

ROSE: Jade, over the course of 15 years, when have any of your efforts done a grain of good? ROSE: For yourself or Dave? JADE: woooooooow i know what youre doing ok? JADE: go ahead push every button i have i dont give a fuck JADE: youre the one that has everything to lose here JADE: and no matter what awful things you say it wont change the fact im worried about you ROSE: Don't be. ROSE: I've done fairly well for myself this past decade and a half. ROSE: I've been happy. JADE: thats whats scaring me! JADE: youre not prepared for how bad it can get JADE: you have no idea at all!!!!!!!!!!! ROSE: If you say so.

Having felt like she failed with Dave, and then had him go off and die on her rather than stay with her, Jade is TERRIFIED that Rose is going to ruin the amazing thing she's had with Kanaya out of apathy and fear. Maybe if Kanaya turns out to be in serious danger from something she didn't foresee, and Rose actually has to confront being genuinely scared of losing her for good, it can dislodge Rose from feeling like she'd be happy letting everything keep falling apart around her? That she absolutely HAS TO FIGHT to keep this relationship, that a relationship requires "trying", and that you can't waste time not trying at all thinking you have everything locked down tight and nothing to lose, because as Jade recently learned you can lose EVERYTHING in a moment.

JADE: ... between you and dave and john i dont know whos worse JADE: is it really that hard for any of you to care? JADE: if you dont get your head on straight and begin trying shell leave you JADE: all youve had together and everything you could have had JADE: gone! JADE: and since youre so cool with talking about your mom now JADE: you shouldve learned that lesson from her a long time ago! ROSE: Excuse me-

OUCH. Bringing up all the regrets from the moments after Rose realized she'd lost her mother, lost ANY CHANCE to make amends with her before Jack killed her... the moments which Jade was there for over pesterchum talking to her during, right before she flew into a Grimdark rage.

JADE: look it takes a lot of concentration to hold this perimeter JADE: i think itd be best if you looked after the kids ROSE: ... JADE: inside. ROSE: Fine.

Why is the next command "Rose: Ramble"? Is she going to start talking to herself? Probably, set up by Jade's "(oh my god are you even listening to me)" line. Pulling a Dave Strider and talking to herself since she can't hold a conversation with Jade here.

(Rose: Ramble)

Yeah that's a dark, hopeless, kind of dissociated look on her face.

Oh she's rambling INTERNALLY, there's a lot of black text on this page. XD

You saunter on out of there. You could say so much more, but it’s fine. Jade has no idea what she’s talking about. There’s not a thing to worry about here. You came out the womb playing defense, you’re not about to drop the ball now.

Opening up for self-examination, being vulnerable like they BOTH need to let themselves be to move forward, is the polar opposite of "playing defense". I wonder if she's dunking on herself, here.

If you hadn’t, maybe you’d be more concerned with the torrent of bullshit you’re dealing with. You really are getting it from all ends here, between Jade’s guilt-ridden busybodying and the glint of rage and pain in your wife’s eyes and the sudden, inexplicable tragedy of your brother’s demise.

Ohhh fuck. Dave's death is hitting her too. I'm not sure why I forgot it would. No wonder she's been shutting down instead of confronting anything.

All that on top of the twist of your gut every time you see your mother in Roxy’s face or hear her in Roxy’s voice. Really, you should be losing your shit. Instead, your emotions are in order and your shit is on lockdown exactly where you tucked it away, smooth operator that you are. God, you need a fucking drink.

Gosh, that's sad. And yeah, she totally IS dunking on herself. She knows on some level that something's seriously wrong with her, and she's just avoiding it, conceding defeat even though she knows she's undoubtedly part of the problem. A part of the problem she's partially given up on fixing.

Submission -- to fate, to the oblivion of drink, to everyone else's will -- is Void, simultaneously the essential duality of and a weakpoint of her nature as a Light player.

Instead of folding, you try to curb the craving by focusing on the inside of your hand and slowly moving that energy to your fingertips. Jade is right, of course, but only on a base, intuitive level that is otherwise lacking in specifics and easily misinterpreted and manipulated. For there to be inarguable truth there has to not only be an authority, but one that cares enough to reinforce their intentions absolutely, and you can’t imagine any such authority caring all that much about this laughable mess.

I'm not sure if I completely agree on inarguable truth being contingent on an authority existing (I mean I suppose so in terms of the limits of both-scientific-and-historical observation in our universe, relying on human and imperfect accounts, and also it's DEFINITELY true when talking about A STORY and being able to read the author's interpretation of something or if there was one at all as opposed to the Death Of The Author that Andrew has been foreshadowing since most of the way through Homestuck is what he believes to be a better outcome for the work), but I suppose she doesn't realize that Calliope is the one who authored this timeline-- the living, non-ascended Calliope back in the Meat side. And she absolutely cared-- and we, the readers, do too!

If there’s no truth, then why even bother looking for your best option? Just leave the hierarchy of choices in ashes, the Mayor would be so proud. And then horribly disappointed, realizing this doesn't mean democratic power to the people. It means total fucking black out.

She's really, REALLY hung up on this being a non-canon timeline isn't she? Not only that-- but an AUTHORLESS timeline. She sees this whole timeline as Void (a black out, devoid of meaning and importance) and she can't see how she should actually be caring about it; she's just as doubtful about the validity of non-canon works of Homestuck, that the fanfics that we come up with because we care about these characters could be anywhere as interesting or worth caring about as canon, much in line with Dirk Strider's viewpoint that nothing could possibly matter if it doesn't have a Higher Purpose to the main, author-stamped story. Luckily enough HS^2's entire thematic structure is built to eventually prove her wrong, to teach her and Dirk and all the rest of us that Homestuck and its characters are worthwhile even wrested from the author's grip!

It’s only through quite rigorous contemplation of this metaphysical miasma (to the detriment, some might say, of your attention to the present moment) that you’ve managed to glean much of anything at all, a wonder in and of itself. Trying to decode these countless twisting paths has taken years of practice, but like all your favorite games the tedium enhances the satisfaction of playing. A small pastime, like a crossword, to privately enjoy outside the scope of any intrusive third persons. Currently, for example, you know that Vriska’s up to something important within the meteor. Exceedingly important, actually, far more important than anything here has had any right to be in a long, long time. It’s a point of almost disturbing clarity in the otherwise nebulous and ill-defined milieu of your prognosticative purview. You’re not quite sure what it actually is, though.

Interesting look into her non-ultimate Seer of Light talents, and the current limits they possess based on the combination of her abilities' limits in this Candyverse and her own beliefs and perspective. Why IS what Vriska's doing so important?

It doesn’t really matter, in the long run. Important or not, Vriska’s going to fail. Jane’s going to fail, too; really, just about everyone is going to fail to do something that really matters. In an unsuccessful effort to stave off that failure, and perhaps to atone for it on some level, Calliope will sacrifice herself, fruitlessly. You’re not exempt from the firing squad, either. In the imminent battle, you are going to be shot in the head, the bullet burying deep into your moral grey matter and jamming up the works of your conditional immortality, leaving you confined to a hospital bed. You had to pull all kinds of ridiculous, eyebrow-raising Chaos Theory shit to figure that one out. The rat-tail was worth it, your daughter’s anguish aside.

I'm not sure what she means by "the rat-tail" (does one of the people she knows have that hairdo?? Meenah? what does that have to do with her daughter? if anyone knows what she's alluding to by saying "the rat-tail was worth it" let me know in the replies), but I'm starting to see why she's been acting so hopeless. She doesn't mind Kanaya getting serious distance from her because she thinks she's going to get locked into a coma soon and she doesn't want Kanaya to mourn her as badly. That's pretty fucking depressing. I wonder which parts of this whole prediction are wrong, and why?

Calliope, this Calliope, sacrificing herself I can absolutely see (she's done observing within her fanfic, in a sense, and while not in a serious relationship with anyone she might decide to step out of the way and relinquish her Ring of Life for the sake of saving someone else)-- but fruitlessly how? And if Vriska is going to "fail", then why is what she's doing so damned important, hm? Fail at what, and gain what else in the process, to still invoke such importance? That's not something Rose has addressed or been willing to see. (EDIT: To clarify a bit here, not only is she blind to the purpose Vriska will accomplish-- it's definitely possible that Vriska leaves the plot point WITHOUT resolving her psychological issues, "fail" to, but even then she'll be only one step away from becoming her Ultimate Self at a pivotal moment and she'll already know what that last step IS inside herself, holding on to the Point's importance to finally do the most important step at a later time after getting out. That's just one of many ways to spin things, and she's blind to the true purpose of the Point regardless, or what "failure" truly constitutes in this situation.) Will Rose really enter a coma, and if she does, is her fatalism keeping her from seeing that some unexpected ray of hope is probably going to free her from said coma?

Kanaya may not see it this way at first, but your lobotomy sleepytime will be a well-earned, golden opportunity for her. A chance to experience life unshackled from the ol’ ball and chain. Even if it requires you to foist some compelling motivation for her to embrace it. She can’t waste her independence waiting on you again. You refuse to accept that outcome. What’s the point of a world where anything is possible if the love of your life won’t explore her full potential?

Yeah fuck that!!! I figured this was where Rose was leading, seeing herself as a net negative and refusing to believe that she's WORTH Kanaya, an insecurity she holds so tightly to that she's unwilling to fight for her own happiness. Thinking Kanaya's true potential lays in places that won't circle right back to you eventually. (Rose might be hinting at Kanaya unlocking some of her latent power, quite possibly-- considering the Sylph of Space as a healer, breaking through to that potential might even be enough to save her from the coma she's mentioning.)

It might even be gratifying for her romantically, though you haven’t peered too deeply down those corridors out of respect for her hypothetical privacy (surely not because they’d make you want to rip off your own face to perceive; that’d be hypocritical). Whatever. It’ll be good for her to stretch her legs, and it’s not like you’ll be awake to miss her.

Interesting... now THIS is a huge, huge blindspot for Rose. Since she's refusing to look down the paths of possibility where Kanaya feels for anyone other than her, what if this is one of the biggest reasons she's missing the path of possibility which eventually saves her and reunites them? (No, I'm not just saying that for the sake of Kanaya/Rose/Jade OT3... not entirely, anyway. >_>")

Or everything will collapse and everybody will disappear. It’ll certainly happen eventually. Maybe in an hour, maybe a day, a couple weeks, millenia from now. Who’s to say? Those specifics are beyond you now.

Everyone's seriously underestimating the Candy timeline. Everyone except Roxy and Calliope, the Rogue of Void and the Muse of Space, working together across the canon-to-non-canon barrier... the perfect pair of heroes to set events into motion that will make everything outside of canon real.

It’s this thought that unwinds you, untwisting your knickers. It’s hard to take things too seriously when you know that the details don’t matter and the ending never changes. It’s out of your hands. There’s nothing left to lose.

When Did You Stop Trying

She's practically LETTING herself get shot just so she doesn't have to see the rest of a story she doesn't think matters! Hopefully she'll be rather ridiculously surprised to find her timeline mattering after all-- to everyone both inside and outside their story. Hopefully we don't have to watch her agonize TOO long waiting for her to figure that shit out, even if the possibility of a certain duration of coma ends up making that wait longer than we'd like. At least in that case, we'll get to see the flabbergasted look on her face when she's brought out of her condition and realizes that everything suddenly matters again!

(==>)

A preview of what she sees ahead. Damn.

You’re nobody now. Just a shadow. Dirk was right to leave. He would have hated this existence. Ah, well.

I'd hoped both this Rose and Rosebot wouldn't make the exact same mistake, because hopefully we get to see them both convinced out of it... but possibly it could be circumstantially simultaneous? That'd be pretty appropriate given one of them is Ultimate Rose.

All tension has left your body, at this point. You don’t retreat to the heart of the ship; you have somewhere to be, so you set off, moving not towards a definitive point on the horizon but in cadence with a song that dances on the periphery of your awareness. You heard its first few tentative notes years ago. A subtle ‘ding’ when your ecto-father died. A little ‘dong’ when your wife handed you your daughter. A clear ‘ting’ when an old friend asked you for her first and only favor. Over time, and especially within the past few days, these scattered sounds have woven together into a compelling melody.

This sounds sort of like a mix of what meat!Calliope wrote into the Candy timeline, and intervention of other authors like Dirk excising himself to strengthen his meat!timeline importance? But mostly that Calliope, the story written in part by that distant author who wouldn't leave you to such a fate as you're expecting.

It helps you drown out the noise of war and focus, taking you back to times when there was destiny and indignation and righteous fury. A colorful cat-squid princess, advising a young girl to “play the rain.” She wanted so much, always needing to be seen, desperate to fight for some shred of validation. Only to never appreciate what was already in front of her. Thankfully, you aren’t her anymore. You don’t owe her anything either. You are unbound to that person completely. Defunct. As above, so below.

I wonder if that statement, behaving like this is Hell (to go with Vriska's purgatorial little trip in the Point), is also a reference to her making the same mistakes on both sides of the Candy/Meat divide? And I wonder if Rosebot truly believes, deep down, that she's the unlucky one in Hell too. Probably not yet, or at least not consciously, especially with Dirk artificially suppressing her doubts. (Also, playing the rain brought up again because at least ONE of these Roses is going to have to pull it off before HS^2 ends!!! It's one of the biggest unfulfilled threads that people wanted to see filled in Homestuck before it ended, and its subsequent continuation-- and goes hand in hand with all of Rose's unresolved psychological issues too somehow most likely, unless it's going to be done to show us that it wasn't indeed the biggest point after all?)

Also, just noting on the side the comparison of the woven thread of the narrative and fate to a musical score, one where the different authors, participants, are contributing parts of the music and different instruments, like the Fraymotifs that blended their aspects to write reality like a song.

Also also, it occurs to me that if Rose is going to enter a coma, she's quite possibly already going to have left a VERY INFURIATING farewell note for Kanaya that shows she saw her coma coming all along, and inadvertently clues Kanaya into the stupid game Rose had been playing by distancing herself so cruelly.

(==>)

A troll soldier looks down from something.

(==>)

Oh, they're bumping face first into a (much taller than them? and very pissed) Kanaya aren't they.

(==>)

Ooh, aglow, too. I wonder if this is a younger recruit or if Kanaya is just tall and huge now; she didn't seem like she compared much taller than Rose and Jade, though most people have always seen Kanaya as tall. This seems like the sort of thing I'd like to see artist commentary on when it comes out. (I've been trying to chew on the artist commentary first back-to-front from where HS^2 first became Beyond Canon, but I'm very slow at it due to some energy issues lately, so even Part 1 of that will be some time coming.)

(==>)

Literally haloed in light! If you weren't so preoccupied with your imminent demise, Rose, you could take some time to appreciate how amazing your wife is and believing in how much she loves you instead of thinking yourself less worthy than SHE thinks of you and casting her off.

(Commanders: Congregate.)

Ooh she mad.

Nothing too important in this page's dialogue, other than Kanaya acknowledging that Rose and Jade won't be involved in directly attacking and that she'd rather that be the case regardless, from an emotional standpoint. She definitely still wants Rose out of the line of fire, even if she's mad at her. (And Jade pulling defensive duty around the children might lose you a big offensive card but it isn't TOO bad, hopefully.)

(==>)

KARKAT: FUCK ‘EM.

Hah! Totally moirails. (Also look at that BLOOD imagery behind the grasping of hands, in all colors of the hemospectrum. That's not subtle Aspect imagery at all! I love unsubtle Aspect imagery! :D )

(==>)

MEENAH: shell yes motherblubber MEENAH: wayward wenches betta step the fuck back MEENAH: its a troll thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaang

you're ruining the mood meenah

(Jane: Push the big red button. Blast it all to high heaven.)

Yeah Jake's gonna have dismantled that moon superweapon WELL before it fires.

You do not push the button because that would be incredibly stupid. The battle hasn't even started yet. Instead you take advantage of the momentary quiet to breathe. To think about life. About situations you could have handled differently. Feelings you could have... considered better. People you could have saved.

Does she? Does she really? Really now? ¬_¬"

(==>)

OH GOD IT'S A GIANT CAKE LASER THAT'S HILARIOUS

Your father never did voice any kind of opinion on your parenting style. In hindsight, he was probably avoiding the subject altogether. Or didn’t think much about it, focusing his pride on your exploits instead. He did raise a businesswoman, after all. At any point you could have asked for his advice. Now you can't. 15 years. Utterly botched.

Yeah, she definitely screwed the heck up on the parenting front, I suppose that *IS* something she's seriously reckoning with now that Jake has pulled back the curtain. It's too late for her to consider backing down, but she's at least going to feel some regrets and let that eat deservedly away at her before her final moments in this timeline.

Oh pfff, I hadn't even looked at the title of the next link (I'm guessing the answer is YES OF COURSE)

(Jane: Consider, is it too late?)

Of course not.

Really?

You remind yourself, you are incredibly young for a god. It’s natural for your growing pains to be this calamitous. All of the struggle and regret will feed into a brighter future. Newfound order will ensure stability, leading to a period of progress this planet has never seen before. There is so much living left. So many opportunities. This will not be your last chance. You’ll do better with the next one.

This is pretty in line with the way megalomaniacal way Jane behaved back when she was controlled by the Condesce, envisioning an empire with Jake at her side bearing her children forever. Candy is essentially an entire timeline where she followed through on her ambitions without constraint.

Speaking of constraint-- (Gee I thought he was totally going to take the Third Option and fly up to destroy the laser, this can't be over this quickly with a gun to the head--)

(Jane: Look behind you.)

Oh dear, so it definitely IS assassination, then. You must really hate how bad she's been for the children, Jake, to really go through with this as personally as BGD suggested. I was thinking about turning points like this for Hope players (in other media actually, a certain Hope player in Murder Drones actually) and moments of Rage being negative or positive turning points in equal measure, points where their belief in the breadth of possibility is pushed into a corner and it's time for them to narrow everything down to ONE CHANCE, to do or die, to a gun to someone's head or a blade to someone's neck and a willingness to cut a possibility off forever when it REALLY COUNTS to come in balance with their role (in ways depicted in Murder Drones with, hint hint, exactly one of their eyes showing a murder-mode X and the other eye open, as if on the tipping point before that Hope is cut off). How for a Hope player to be effective and balanced, they HAVE to know when they can't just sit on their heels and need to take action even if it means cutting off all the other paths they WISHED were true but can't be, acknowledging reality.

But seriously, if he was fast enough he could have just flown to space and blown up the Cake Laser. I guess this is more effective.

JANE: Jake? JAKE: Hi. Sweetheart. JANE: What are you doing here? Is everything ok? JAKE: It's all gravy train, don't worry! I was only thinking to myself and... JAKE: realized how sorry i'd be if i didn't come wish you good luck. JANE: How thoughtful! JAKE: Mm hm! JAKE: Come here.

Is that really going to work? Maybe with Jane deluding herself this much right now. I feel life if Jake actually pulls this off it'll end the battle far too quickly; maybe he'll shoot her and her Maid of Life powers will bring her back to retaliate the moment he turns his back on the body?

(==>)

Oh dear, he's going in EXTREMELY personal for this isn't he. A point blank shot through the heart in honor of Dirk maybe?

JANE: Well! That felt very lucky. JANE: Hoo, hoo! JAKE: I was hoping so ha ha! JANE: Thank you. ;B JANE: Wow you sure are holding me very tight, I assure you we don't have that kind of time sir! JANE: *eyebrow wiggle* JAKE: So right! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. JAKE: Oh Jane. JAKE: Before I let go, I wanted to say first. It's been a hard life and all but, JAKE: I'm really happy I got to see you. JANE: Me too J! JAKE: And... I'm going to miss you. JANE: Aw! JANE: Wait, what?

Looks like she didn't see it coming, even if I don't think it's gonna stick. Just exhausting whatever extra life she's built up in reserve, I'd bet.

[click]

(==>)

OW, to the head! No wonder there was a blood/violence warning in the tweet announcing this upd8.

(==>)

Oh god that's horrifying it didn't finish her off

this dialogue is horrifying why do you have to traumatize Jake more like this he's promising it'll stop oh that's awful okay serious fucking trigger warnings ouch

(==>)

OH GOD and she healed herself and knocked his aim off course. This is why you always double tap. D:

She's gonna be PISSED. (I didn't need the vivid mental imagery of bullets stuck in heads a third time counting Rose AND this anyway, brain damage is a bit of a trigger for me.) Hopefully Jake at least gets away, or destroys the launch button, or with his assassination attempt failed NOW goes to fly off and destroy the cake laser directly on the moon.

(==>)

Alright that's pretty cool! Not good obviously, but inevitable.

JAKE: W-w-w-w-w-w-wha? JANE: As I was saying- JANE: Jake.

Counter-attack incoming.

(==>)

JANE: IF YOU HAVE ONE SHOT

(==>)

OH THAT'S SOME HYPER VIOLENT PISTOL WHIPPING OUCH. EVEN IN BEYOND CANON THEY AREN'T HOLDING BACK A BIT ON THE MATURE GODDAMN RATING even when it isn't a psychological deep dive owowow

JANE: YOU BETTER JANE: MAKE IT JANE: *FUCKING* JANE: COOOOOUUUUUUUUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder how he's going to get away? He deserves to after this, and also he's possibly the only one who knows about the space laser and isn't coming out of this without at least one big solid heroic accomplishment that sticks under his belt. The space laser seems pretty much designed for him to intervene.

(==>)

You stop your onslaught, knowing the next couple blows will finish the job. A just death. How romantic.

Pfff-- I guess even if she killed him, it wouldn't announce that the death had been Heroic over his head.

Oh wait, I just realized--! Jake has TWO GUNS. Both the prior shots ought only to have been from one, unless he switched to single shot pistols for some arcane reason.

Between the adrenaline and taste of blood in your mouth, the decision is clear to you. You will not fail yourself. You will claim the spoils of this war and oversee a thriving planet. Cultivating an ever bettering stock of humanity. Your future. On and on. Forever. Alone.

Yeah sure you will.

Wait, what does that next link even mean? --Oh, it's Spades Slick and the co-opted Felt gang members she captured isn't it?? :D I've been waiting for her to unleash them!

(Jane: Release the Brig Boys.)

Wait what the fuck

As if!!!!! Maybe some time in the trenches with the Brig Boys will do him some good.

Oh my GOD she's seriously letting him go?! I'm not sure if that's not even more messed up in the head of her than killing him! She's seriously got a screw loose. She's really afraid of being alone and sure he'll come back to her side, isn't she, even if she needs a leash to force him? (And plot-speaking this just gives him a chance to fly up and bust the Moon Laser.)

Why are they Brig Boys, doesn't that mean prisoners? I mean I guess she probably paranoidly imprisoned some of the clone soldiers, but...

(==>)

Oof, Jake splats to the ground.

Death would be a kindness, after all. You gave Jake a shot to stay by your side and make something of himself, but in the end he proved himself just another deserter. You should have seen it coming; you learned 15 years ago that people will slip right through your fingers if you let them.

well what's your plan then

It’s fine. You won’t let go again. Jake is your means to an end. When you scramble his frontal lobe, you’ll make sure it doesn’t heal right. It won’t be much of a change, anyway.

JESUS CHRIST WOMAN

If I didn't know better I'd accuse someone who worked on this slate of updates to have known about my trigger about the idea of brain damage and personally stacked this one up against me! Good thing I worked out a lot of my fears in therapy so much before this, sheesh. Beyond Canon might know when to STOP punching and crack a joke but when they punch they don't pull those punches, ouch.

(Jane: Commence battle.)

Good thing Jake's already sitting up. You'd better not wallow in that discouragement from the failed assassination attempt, GO AFTER THE MOON LASER. (Though, Rose did warn us that from her biased point of view "just about everyone is going to fail to do something that really matters".)

(Jake: Look out into distance.)

JAKE: TAVROS!

Aw damn, is he going to fly in to help and leave the moon laser problem to someone else? At least he's the one parent of Tavros's focused on something he should of the two.

(==>)

That's a letter from Rose and a pack of trail mix. Rose, now that we know you're lining up future events so things turn out a certain neutral-victory sort of way, I can't help but wonder what the fuck you're planning with the kids. (And how they're going to potentially far surpass your limited expectations.)

On the plus side this means that as soon as we've reckoned with that letter WE FINALLY GET BACK TO THESE KIDS AND POTENTIALLY HAVING SOME FUCKING DIALOGUE THAT INCLUDES YIFFY OR IS ABOUT AND AROUND HER AT LEAST, I'VE BEEN WAITING SO EXCITED TO GET BACK TO THEM AFTER THAT JADE HEART-OUTPOUR THAT YIFFY OVERHEARD AND IS LIKELY STILL MIFFED ABOUT! :DDD Gosh I've been waiting for Yiffy and the other kids to interact more.

I'm extra busy with family stuff for a couple weeks so I probably won't post anything extra between now and the next update, but as usual I'll be right there when it arrives. Until next time!

[princesspuppetttt]

Hello I'd love a romantic twst matchup! And im so sorry if this is too mush information 😔

I go by kyomi, i have adhd, autism and anxiety!

I love reading, and drawing. I also really like writing. I like going on walks while listening to music (especially at night, it feels very freeing) i also love playing video games, mainly open world games like genshin, wuthering waves and infinity nikki. But i also like games like minecraft and roblox. And im always up for trying new games with friends!

Id say im a pretty quiet/shy and calm person person when first meeting me, but if i get to know you better and i vibe with you i will become more open, specifically quite chaotic and loud. I will rant to you about thing i like, and will listen to you rant and talk about things, i love just listening to people talk!

Id say im quite helpful and kind, i almost always stop and help people if they've dropped something. id say im also quite loyal, i would never leave you for anything (unless your a severly bad person 😠) i also get spooked by alot of things, like sudden noises or people appearing out of nowhere.

I can get quite mad fast, never really at the people, more so at the situation. Im pretty sensitive, if you start yelling at me i will cry. Im also pretty stuborn, and impatient.

I love food, sushi is my favorite! (I am pretty bad with spice tho 😭) i love, love listening to music and finding new artists! (My favorite artist is lana del rey!) I really like looking at the stars, and i like baking food for family, friends or myself. I love alternative fashion, mainly harajuku fashion, but everything is great!

I absolutely hate loud noises, they scare the shit out of me! I also hate the dark, i cannot sleep without atleast some kind of light on 😥. I dont like coffee, and i also dont lik every type of pasta except lasagna.

Im not looking for a lot in a romantic partner. I'd want them to be nice to my family and friends. I'd love to talk to them about my interests and listen to theirs. Im a pretty clingy person, so i would want them to be okay with that. I also have abandonment issues, so i need quite constant reassurance! That's really all. I'd say the bar is quite low for me.

i match you with.... 

Lilia Vanrouge! 

- Lilia would love anything your draw or write! He'd join you on your walks if you let him too. He would love both watching you play and playing games with you! He might even introduce you to his online pal Gloomurai! 

- He would absolutely love getting to know you and seeing how chaotic you become! Lilia would listen to anything your want to rant about or story you wish to tell him. He'd also tell you stories about his past and his travels, maybe even some of the friends he met along the way!

- Lilia would find your eagerness to help very cute and would definitely let you help him with things (especially human things he doesn't quite understand fully). Lilia is also very very loyal so there'd be no reason to worry about that! He'd probably try spook you a few times but if you genuinely didn't like it, he'd do his best to stop. 

- Lilia would certainly be used to emotional outbursts of any kinda. In his years he's learned how to handle them swiftly and get people feeling better. The same would apply to you! He would try to avoid things that make you tick, but would also work to find ways to soothe you. Lilia isn't really a yeller either. 

- Lilia would very much so enjoy stargazing with you. I bet you could go on night-time picnics if you wanted...just don't let Lilia cook anything for them. He would LOVE your baking and cooking though, make sure to share with him!

- Your fashion sense would be the first thing to catch Lilia's eye. He would simply adore your style and would want to go shopping with you aswell. He also has a fun and different taste in clothes so your outfits will never be boring. 

- Lilia would likely tease you for, but understand your fear of the dark. He'd help you find something (maybe a magic lantern?) that you could keep in your room at night. But I also think he'd try to help your through it, showing you how beautiful the darkness can be. 

- He would never be rude to any friends or family you have. Family and friends are very important to him and will understand that for you too. He would be fine with you being clingy and might even be a bit clingy as well. Lilia would always be willing to reassure you that he won't leave you. He really is caring and that would show in his relationship with you

[ad-caelestia]

Do you have any advice for a new witch who is struggling to get into the groove of their practice? i'm noticing that i'm having a really hard time getting motivation to practice, and i think it's because i don't really know what to do? does that make sense? like i just don't know what you can do that isn't just spells or cleansing and it's getting in my way. i've heard that starting a daily practice can help with that, but i don't know what to do for it. anyway sorry for the wall of text i hope your drive goes well!

I have a TON of advice in this department. I have waxed and waned with my practice a ton over the years so this most recent time I told myself I need to make sure it sticks this time. Things I've been doing to help with that include a lot of crafts. Things to put on my altar, things to make spell stuff out of. Even just cleaning or repurposing old things to keep my hands busy. This inevitably leads me to cleaning my house, putting up wards, making a new money bowl every month, things like that.

Another thing I've done recently is somewhat force myself to dedicating time to the craft whether it's learning new things, reading a new book, trying a new spell, or just simply lighting a candle and saying a prayer over it.

I guess what im trying to say is that magic doesn't have to be some grand gesture every single time. It can be little routine things that you add some intention to and suddenly, everything is magical.

One bit of advice is to try new things (spells, etc.) even when you don't have some major need or urgency for it. It's good to know how to do things before you need to know how to do them.

Like, okay maybe you don't need money right now, but what about a spell to help you find a couple bucks on the ground, just for practice?

That's the thing about it all - witchcraft is a practice, whatever that means for you. You are fully meant to experiment and find your own methods for doing things. You might decide to practice new types of spells with the same end goal and realize you fucking hate... idk, glamours to prevent unwanted attention and that you'd rather some kind of shield instead (there's more than one way to do things, of course).

I hate to say "just try it! you might like it!" But seriously. Fuck around and find out (like, in the nicest most conducive way possible) and be willing to try new things. :)

If it seems like this is all over the place I'm so sorry lol I lost service somewhere on the road and this post got lost in the void along with my cell signal.

♡ luna

[the-kr8tor]

OOOO IM EXCITED TO READ COWBOY HOBIE Daily Hobie HC! Imagine going in a mirror maze with him as a date- He'll practically blend in and stand out with the neon lights due to his texture-changing-ness from his dimension, and it'll be pure chaos Because on one hand, his spidey senses are switching on and off due to how close either you or him have been deadly close to bumping into a mirror, so Hobie just decides to ignore the entire thing as a whole.. Bad idea on his part.. The amount of times he's bonked his head against the mirrors has you cackling, unable to even try and conceal your real laugh. Although he playfully scolds you for laughing, he loves hearing you laugh, vowing to himself to always try to do so, even in the worst moments. And when you bump into some mirrors, he will often retaliate teasingly with a 'yeah that sucks doesnt it? imagine how I feel'. However, he's unable to even finish his sentence before chuckling at your dazed expression. At one point, you guys will lose each other in the mess of mirrors, people and neon lights flashing everywhere. Hobie attempts to retrace his steps, but he doesn't even know where he last stepped because of the confusion of mirrors. Funnily enough, you both find each other by bumping into one another, laughing at the fact you both thought you were each other's reflections. From that point, Hobie holds onto your hand, not wanting to let you be lost in the maze of high. Little does he know, you're praying to not panic at the way he held your hand. Or maybe he does..you can't exactly see his face half of the time among the neon lights. Once you guys are out of the maze, eyes adjusting to the sudden weird haze of reality, you joke towards Hobie about having 'learnt a new texture', to which he immediately turns into something close enough of the mirror maze neon lights with a smirk on his face. A smirk that makes you want to snog it off immediately. When he drops you off, no doubt you both have stickers all over your faces, from when you were rewarded with for completing the maze, attacking Hobie immediately with one as he was drinking some fancy glowing fruit juice in a lightbulb cup. Once you return to your room, your eyes light up upon seeing a few little gifts from the place where the mirror maze was. With a closer look, you notice one of them has Hobie's signature on it, with the date and, in his writing 'Can't wait to see you again. Already planning where I'm gonna take you for my turn' You genuinely wonder when or even how he has the time to quickly make you these gifts from him dropping you off to you entering your bedroom. However, it doesn't seem to concern you much. Maybe murderer or not, he knew how to make your heart swell. I wanna go on a mirror maze date with someone:( Idc if its with a friend or partner at this point- I want to crash into mirrors and laugh -🐦‍⬛

Thank you! Chap 1 will be out in a few hours!

Daily Hobie HC!!! 🎉

Oh I'm so normal about this 🥰🥰🥰 I love love carnival dates!! Like it's in my top 5 dream dates of all time!

All the thrill carnival rides that Hobie now has an excuse to hold on to you bc "you might fall, love." Citing that the rides look rickety and all the scummy carnival games that he always wins for a reason and now you have a ton of plushies that you and Hobie have to start giving out to kids bc it definitely won't fit on the motorcycle! Ofc you'll keep a few for the memories 😍

Me too!!! Let's go together! (Watch me hit a mirror so hard that I break it 😂)

[digital-chance]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

thank you for the tag @clairelsonao3!! you're lovely.

1. What motivates you to write?

The stories themselves. If I get inspired and like the premise, I'll write it down. From there, my passion for stories will take over and tell the story and expand upon the characters.

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

From the first chapter of my fanfic ysbwm; This place he’s in is a different world than the one he knows. There are so many flashing lights popping out of the building, constantly moving. The cars are shaped differently and drive on a painted street at amazing speeds. These buildings, like the one Steve just ran out of, are so much taller and sleeker than what he’s used to seeing. He gapes and haltingly spins around, letting his eyes flit around him and be momentarily captivated by the movement.

3. Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

At the moment, Theodore, from Scars of Duty. Writing a villain character is so interesting to me, especially since their character is going to change throughout the novel and series. I'm not the greatest at making ocs and I haven't purposely written a character like this before so this is a challenge that im excited to take on!

4. What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

Brainstorming. It's a love-hate relationship though lol. I love gathering all the stuff that inspired me and organizing it though so it's both worth it in the end and satisfying. Lately I found a template/organizer for the Notion app for my writing and I'm so excited about my projects now!!

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Honestly I'm not sure. I would say research and potentially preparation.

6. What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

I love the tag games!! I love seeing what people wrote and learning about them and then being able pay it forwards for others!

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Tumblr, with it's endless quantities of prompts and the short stories that people write on here. I love it. I also starting using both Grammarly and ProWritingAid to correct my grammar after me being in denial for ages about needing them. Very useful for the editing process.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

Oooh my favorite piece of worldbuilding i like is from Scars of Duty but it's a huge spoiler so I better not say it haha. My second favorite is from Nova Futurum and it's the underground community's culture. One thing I've noticed when I was living in a lower-income neighborhood is the sense of community and how that can influence not only social interactions but also things like crime. People look out for each other and care about each other and will help each other get to better places, to the best of their abilities. And in my new neighborhood, in a different part of the city, it's entirely different. More money = more socially/emotionally distant. I barely know anyone and the weight of others' opinions matter more. It's interesting to me and I definitely will add this to Nova Futurum.

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Read other people's writings in a genre that you are NOT trying to write in. It doesn't have to be any particular style of literature, but something different enough from what you're working on. This way you can get inspired or even just have a break from the genre and get refreshed. It can get exhausting reading for research or inspiration.

10. Tag some people whose works you love/have been your biggest supporters

@tea-and-mercury, @leisoree, @ruinmegently, and @janec23 are my biggest supporters and i adore their work. to name a few more people with amazing work: @scribbling-stardust, @halfbit, @hallwriteblr, @repressed-and-depressed, & @fire-but-ashes-too

tagging those people above and no pressure tagging: @ntzsche9, @writingmargo, @mthollowell-writes, @wingedcatastrophe, & @lostpasswordreturning.

[xx-cringe-factory-xx]

Hi! Its the DoH anon again!! And sick! thanks for the cool tag. recently (literally just tonight), i *may* have opened up to me being also a "prince of time" (i still have my qualms but honestly its a pretty cool classpect and somewhat fits, so am not complaining). so one of my other combined classpects could be the Overlord of Paradox (Prince of time + Page of Space). Can you analyse this one, please? Thank you as always! - DoH anon (who turns out to... not be so DoH, apparently) 🌌☀️⌛

LETS GO WE BOTH PARTIALLY PRINCES (im theif +prince also THEY'RE THE OPPOSITE ASPECTSLIKE ME (light+void) so cool) vmdsfsddv (also yeah so real and valid to realize you're different from what you originally thought you were)

------------Overlord of Paradox------------

one who is serves an aspect through destroying an aspect or destroys an aspect through serving an aspect

you litterally have the aspects/classes of some of the characters that are either loved or absolutely hated on in homestuck (dirk, Tavros, jake, jade, Dave, kanaya as ell as some others TwT)

woah sooo you have both of the big important aspects. time and space. like they litterally couldn't have a session with out you if they didn't have any other time of space players.so you likely have a lot of pressure put on you. which could obviously might push you to make quick decisions without having the time to put in enough thought which tbh makes sense for a prince.

a scheming page can get as bad as a thief if they have the wrong motives. you may feel isolated at times cause of you're space aspect and your prince class may make it feel like you're the only one who really sees the bigger picture. which honestly others probably struggle to understand why you do what you do. I recommend that you take a minute to evaluate you're possibilities and options before acting, but I do understand if that can be difficult sometimes.

pages tend to be really hopeful and want the best thing without fully understanding how to get their. but like with Tavros, you can get to that point if you work extra hard for it. be careful not to get stuck only focusing on bigger pictures and stuff. being a time player you'll try to get one step ahead and prolly fumble a bit. you'll believe other's will be against you in some way. you'll try to avoid getting attached to people and things. which you are prolly really good at.

also one thing princes and pages have in common is that they think they have to be better or at least something they aren't. and while pages are Great at keeping up that act princes are not. seeing you're a page of time you'll be great at pretending and avoiding getting attached and getting people to keep up with THEM instead of slowing down for others even if the NEED to slow down for their own mental/physical health. but seeing your a prince of space you might really try and expect people to not like you or to not understand you, but chances are they at the very least partially understand.

an overlord of paradox's powers would prolly be a bit simple but they could be VERY powerful if used right. things like the ability to teleport, make portals (or like some kind black hole type thingy basically it suck in things that get too close ig?) as well as the ability to slow or speed up time for specific people. maybe even be able to create whole new timelines or jump between them.

weapons are pretty simple, but prolly requiring a lot of skill though. Blades lots of Blades. doesn't even matter what size or kind. could be a javelin, a katana, a knife. as long as it has a sharp edge to it.

:3

[theballadofmars]

WHY GREGORY CAN'T BE PATIENT 46

In the last few months, I've seen lots of theories about patient 46 and what's clear is that no one really know who it is, but a big part of the fandom think that Gregory is a good candidate which... I have some thoughts about it.

Additional note: GGY is probably canon and that means that maybe Gregory IS patient 46, but honestly the only way for this to work its of Gregory is possesed and has no memory of what's going so. So, this theory still applies, because Gregory, as we know him in Security Breach, can't be patient 46.

I thinks there's lots of in game evidence which contradict this conclusion, so here's why:

Patient 46 and Gregory have complete different personalities. Patient 46 doesn't talk a lot, and when they do it or talk about themselves its described as objective, like they're telling things that didn't happen to them. They have fun when they know that the animatronics are acting weird, they don't like to go outside, they don't like the light, and they like masks. Now, you have Gregory: he talks a lot, he's sarcastic and makes jokes, he says "lame" when he got something of mr. hippo, he cleary doesn't like how the animatronics are acting, and he shows lots of emotion during the game, from fear in some moments to sadness when freddy dies at the end.

In addition to this: Gregory spents half of the game using a camara that can blind animatronics because of the flash, but he doesn't have problems with the light, wants to get out of the pizzeria, and he's also worried about the dissapearence that took place in the complex, which doesn't make sense if he was patient 46.

2. "Gregory is violent, and Patient 46 killed the therapist, so that's a link!" -> Actually, no. I think Gregory is a gremlin, but I don't think that his violent acts are unjustified. The kid spent hours inside the pizzeria with robots that are 1) Bigger than him 2) Stronger than him and 3) Are trying to kill him. His acts are more in self - defense that anything. There's a diference between destroying animatronics that are trying to kill you and killing your therapist because she's about to uncover something.

And yes, Gregory also kills Vanny in one of the endings, but again: Vanny was about to kill him.

3. Patient 46 is a hacker, but Gregory isn't. This was one of the things that made me be sure about this theory. Gregory is good with videogames (if the GGY that are in the arcades are him), he knows about animatronics and how things work, but that's the thing: he knows about mechanics, not about programming. He may know some things about technology, but programming is a whole different story. A mechanic or mechanical engineer will know some things about programming for their projects, but usually it has nothing to do with creating a virus or hacking a whole company. They just, can't do that. So, Gregory is a mechanic, Patient 46 a hacker.

In some parts of the game, Gregory has acces to computers, he could have made things easier for him, he could even acces the security protocols or open the doors, but he didn't.

4. Patient 46 is a manipulator, and the game makes you believe that they're the one manipulating Vanessa: they go to the same therapist, they had met Vanny and knows the technics of the pizzaplex. Gregory, on the other hand, is afraid of Vanny, runs away from Vanessa and also he didn't know the identity behind the mask. But Gregory looks surprised in the fire ending, and he also tries to save Vannesa in the Vanny good ending, which wouldn't make sense if he was the hacker:

If he was the one manipulating her, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't do that or hide everytime he sees her. Yes, Gregory lied to Freddy about the stolen parts and about his friends, but I don't think that was he trying to manipulate Freddy, and just a kid having like, the worst night of his fucking life and doesn't want to make his new robot dad and only ally sad or mad at him.

5. Who would bring Gregory to the therapist? Like, that's an important fact. Sure, maybe he could go by himself, but if he is in the United States, doesn't therapist charge like, a lot? How is Gregory going to pay it? Also, he's a kid, the therapist has to talk first with his parents or legal guardian, they can't just accept a random kid. Patient 46 has, or at least had, parents. That's stated by the therapist, but she obviously didn't know them. So, who is bringing patien 46 to therapy? And who's paying for it? Gregory, at least from what you see, doesn't have parents, but also I don't think a 12 year old could afford therapy.

I think that patient 46 had parents, but there was some type of tragedy. Now, he's in someone else custody, and whoever this person is, is the one paying for the therapy. Maybe to control de therapist, to have Vanessa under vigilance, I don't know, but there has to be someone behind it, a kid can't just do that (I'm not from the United States, so if there's someone who has better knowledge about how therapy works there, please tell me if I'm wrong).

Gregory, on the other hand, is more of a mistery. We see that he's homeless, or at least doesn't have a place he wants to go back to.

Things they have in common are:

·They like candy -> Lots of kids do.

·They have a rebel side -> But they show it differently, and Gregory has reasons for the things he do.

·We don't know a lot about their past.

In conclusion, for Gregory and Patient 46 to be the same person we have to assume that Gregory had been lying and pretending during the events of all Security Breach, even during moments when he didn't have to.

And let me tell you, if he really spents all the game acting, he deserves an Oscar, at least. But other than that, the motivations, personalities and abilities of both characters doesn't match each other.

You could also say that Gregory is a robot and his memory was messed with by someone, but robot Gregory is a theory for another day and I prefer to believe the little evidence the canon gives us instead of creating theories that gives us an explation at the expenses of what we see in the games. Maybe we shouldn't know who patient 46 is for now, or maybe we didn't conect the pieces together, but I'm pretty sure that Gregory isn't the one behind those tapes, and I needed to explain why.

Thank you if you read this theory, and I hope you have a good day!

[mandalhoerian]

bruh my comment was too long to post under the new chapter so i’m sending an ask. saw the ao3 notif and scheduled to read it this fine evening, good thing i was like “lemme scroll on tumblr and see what’s up” because SJFKDJLXBZB the face i made when i saw i was tagged and followed BY YOU? also ma’am 🤚🏻wdym nobody comments like i do. like what do you mean. i have a concerning relationship with receiving praise so i advise you to stfu (affectionately).

my poor girl vera can’t catch a break, loss after loss after loss in such a short period. i just want to give her lots and lots of hugs (consensually). on another note i love that she clocked ada’s intentions right away bc capcom wtf is that writing. one person taking down a whole organization is like sending only one person to save president’s kidnapped daughter (laugh track). let me tell you i have been waiting for this 🤌🏻 vera and ada interacting 🤌🏻 leon being there all charming and naive and trusting people easily 🤌🏻 shai you just get the dynamics of all the characters *so right* 🤌🏻

sorry for the excessive amount of parentheses and emojis let me just find another obnoxiously annoying emoji to spam about the intimacy between leon and vera. 🤧 it’s this one but i’m wiping my snot away from crying about it. the small touches between the two are so tender in this fucked up world 🤧 vera’s hand on his forearm… leon collecting her in his arms, comforting her 🤧 his arm on her shoulder 🤧 i could cry and get a headache from thinking about them. i’m so serious.

(gnawing at the bars of my enclosure) JILL VALENTINE MENTION???? VERA KNOWS HER? WHAT IS THE LORE? I NEED TO KNOW.

how does one end a delirious comment. uhhh. so yeah. i love nttd and vera so much and i’m so happy that it’s back babyyyy.

Ofc I followed!!!! I don't remember why I didn't in the first place like but like ???? ur making it sound like I'm some big shot but like pls im a loser who's writing oc fanfiction on the internet and is so lucky and grateful to get people invested in it!!!!! AND YES nobody comments like you do! You're the dream of a fanfiction author ON GOD. THANK YOU SO MUCH

ramble below to keep your dashboards clean:

I think we talked about this over on ao3 but honestly re2r's ada just doesn't make sense to me. The FBI cover is logical (when you first think about it), but the way she's immediately pulling a gun on Annette the minute they see her and DECLARING her intentions isn't. She then proceeds to reveal her target is Annette, and then her going with the FBI thing becomes less logical, bc why would Annette hand over the G-Virus sample to the feds, either? It's entirely a shock factor thing revolved around Leon, she's only fooling him -- or maybe, she's fooled Ben like this, too, and was forced to stick to her cover when shit went down, we don't know 😭 why did they do my girl ada like that... (ngl re4r ada supremacy. period.)

But either way, un-truths she would throw as a bone to a "civilian" like Leon would of course be caught by Vera, nugget by nugget, while still making her think "mayhaps the FBI is misinformed????" -- I didn't want to ruin that fine line by Ada going on about Annette making the virus and her being the most dangerous of all "g-virus g-virus g-virus" or whatever because 1) WHY WOULD A SPY DO THAT???? 2) it would surely make Vera go "yeah NOPE" 💀💀

it's so much fun for them to try sussing each other out, Light and L mind games over there while Leon is happily frolicking. not one thought behind those eyes 😭

ALSO LIKE YES THE TOUCHES!!!!!! It's Leon initiating all of them for me 👹👹👹 physical touch taking over when words can't. my favorite thing of all UGGHHHHHHHH THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME IN MY MISERY

ALSO totally not going "actually 🤓☝" as I'm saying this because it's been HALF A WHOLE YEAR + the fic is over 100K words -- Vera knows Jill from post!mansion incident - pre!outbreak, in that ephemeral "investigation" phase of Jill's. I do mention it in the fic that Vera supplies information to Jill (as around that time she's trying to get rid of the weight of all she knows and trying to pass on the "hero's job" to someone else) and they exchange their findings while trying to be careful not to get caught by ppl Umbrella put on Jill's tail. I think I wrote it in passing that Vera was disguised as a secretary and sat back-to-back with Jill on a booth in one of those occasions? She's loosely connected to re3r by having a brief appearance in carlos' police station section in my head, entrusting Jill to him and all and promising to meet up with them in the station once she talks to her dad about it ☹

"delirious comment" WDYM ITS MY LIFEBLOOD THANK YOU 😭

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

I have a horrible cold, the sleep meds are hitting, but it's been two and a half months and htis feels like a good day for making questionable choices so HERE I AM TO SEE HOW WELL THIS FUCKING POST HOLDS UP HUH LET'S SEE HOW IT HOLDS UP, MAGGOTS, AHAHAH.

"signals foir help" lmao bitchboy you THOUGHT.

i mean tyeah we're all queer it's trUe of this entire hellsite not just the show but yes so queer oh my god it's more queer than a pineapple-platypus fanart

oooooh yes they likey and then we all see them likey and we think me likey

fuck you pasta asmi it's black literally anything can be silver or white if you make it reflect enoguh light is that phislosophical maybe

AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH CROWLEY BEING EMO AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA BITCH HE WISHES HE COULD BE THAT COOL AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA OMG THAT DISASTER

listen. listen. it's true. but you doN'T HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING UPPITTY ABOUT IT OKAY YOU'RE NEARLY THERE YOU'RE GOING TO BE A CHILD OF DIVORCE TOO WAIT AND SEE.

i think gabriel causes problems just be existing tbh but big mood anyway fuCK YOU GABRIEL LOVE YOU JIM OR SOMETHING IDK

no no that's true that's true that's fair marriage is a social construct and theyre so married fr

shut the fuck up DON'T JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THAT DON'T STAND AND WATCH EVERYTHING CROWLEY LOVES BURN FIRST THE BOOKSHOP WHICH WAS THE ONLY PLACE HE WAS SAFE FROM HELL AND THEN THE BENTLEY AND THEN HE HAS TO STAND AND BURN IN THE BODY OF THE ANGEL HE LOVES OKAY SHUT UP PAST ASMI SHUT UP

I--HOW DID YOU NOTKNOW ABOUT TDAVID TENNANT LIKE OKJAY YOU WERE JUST TWO WEEKS INTO THE HELLSITE BUT EVERYONE HERE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT HUIM (REFER BAFTA INCIDENTS)

NO HE ISN'T FICTIONAL, TERRY GNU

Is Neil fictional? Am I fictional? I mean I still haven't evaded all the I'm Delirium from Sandman accusations so like. Um. ANYWAY GONNA ASSUME YOU'RE PROUD OF ME NEIL OKAY SINCE YOU'VE NEVER SAID OTHERWISE K COOL THANKS.

Uhhhhhh two preteens actually well I mean depends I mean. I mean. Why am I trying to make sense of either my rambling or the show. Why am I trying.

The baby delivered was the son of satan and became the preteen idk what to tell you man it do be like that sometimes

diSCo TonYyyYYY he even has a stripper name (NO HE DOESN'T, BY THE WAY. WHY DID YOU ALL LIE TO ME ABOUT THIS I WATCHED THE SHOW WAITING FOR THE DISCO TONY STRIPPER ERA.)

....what

you enver understand anything what's new (neither do i, it's ok)

and just like it's mascot.

like the book says "every little bit helps". I mean the book also says "right mumbled crowley suddenly feeling very alone" so like AAA

is there anything they DONT do with homoerotic undertones tho IS there because i haven't seen it yet

man y'all were right i really did make crowley sound like a stripper in this post i'm sorry crowley i love you but your disaster ass could never actually go through with that career stick to being in love with aziraphale as a full time occupation okay

WHICH FUCKING HAIRCUT ARE YOU INSLUTING ASMI CME FACE ME WHICH ONE HUH BECAUSE THEY LOOK GEOGROUS IN THEM ALL FUCK YOU

stop saying queer it's so redundent queer and good omens are the same ffs

i feel fucking called out by MY OWN PAST SELF OW OKAY FINE MESSAGE RECEIVED DID I EVER BLAME NEIL NO SO STOP BRAINROT-SHAMING ME PAST-ME, OK? I KNOW. I KNOW I'M THE PROBELM.

NIOPE JUST GONNA LEAVE THAT THERE NOPE

*nasally front bench student voice because yes* ACTUALLY, it was both oF THE--i forgot what the point i was making was but uh it was both of them is generally a safe point about everything in GO

children. THE THEM,MMMMM AND TY TENNENT AND IM JEMBIMAN AND I MADE THIS POT /NOT DRUG

oh wow really was there nearly missed that apocalypse damN NO I DIDN'T THE APOCALYPSE WAS COOL YOU ALL REALLY CONVINCED ME IT DIDN'T EXIST HUH no fair you were brainroted i exucse it

WE'RE ALL SAD AND AZIRAPHALE DOESN'T WANT TO GO TO HEAVEN EITHER AND AZIRAPHALE IS SAD TOO I MEAN NO WAIT CROWLEY IS SAD TOO IDK OKAY I AM SO ILL RIGHT NOW

shut THE FUCK UP I'VE NEVER BEEN CALLED OUT SO HARD BY MYSELF. FUCKING BITCH-SLKAPPED BY THE PAST. WHO LET YOU HUH. WHO.

HAHAHAHAH SANIOTY WHAT SANITY WHUICH SANTY HEY MAGGOTS YOU SEE ANY SANITY BECVAUSE I SURE AS FUCK DON';T

holds up pretty wrlll methinks i'm just shocked that you all didn't instantly punch me in the face klike that's so wiLD.

oh i am so ill and wozozy i may have covid who knows i'll go to a doc but mainLY I'M IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY. just gonna run with the assumption that neil is proud of me and that you maggots are proud too because i am so dazed that i do not entertain alternate thoughts i barely entertain thoughts at all love you xoxoxo

Pt III good omens but i STILL SOMEHOW haven't watched it (and i'm increasingly passive aggressive)

i'm now basically held hostage adopted as mascot by this fandom. it's fine i'm fine *SIGNALS FOR HELP DESPERATELY*

Alright fuckers I swear this time I'm going to get some shit right. Without further ado, here's my third attempt at a good omens summary:

Everything everywhere is queer all at once

Angel Aziraphale and demon Crowley on earth likey each other

The car is a bentley and it is BLACK not silver and everyone is very upset about this. my bad yall it was reflecting light therefore i guessed more silver than black but I'm not Anish Kapoor take your black.

Then it is yellow, and aziraphale likes it. crowley preferred the black because he's a flamboyant emo.

God is a deadbeat absentee parent and you are all children of divorce.

There's a naked archangel and they cause problems for the husbands somehow. By being naked? By being an archangel? By being at their doorstep? Who knows not me

They were actually married for 6000 years, they just are the last to know about it.

Crowley is on fire. Like, he's slaying for sure, but also he is literally on fire, like Aziraphale's bookstore.

The actors like I said before are Michael Sheen and David Tennant but this is the place where I finally admit that I don't actually know who is whom. I'm going to assume Michael is Aziraphale because Michael sounds angel-y and David is Crowley because uh Michaelangelo made David and was gay for him.

Terry Pratchett is not fictional.

He co-wrote the book with @neil-gaiman, who IS fictional, because he does not have social media. Several of you have assured me that he is in fact a fandom inside joke. I like to think he would be proud of me.

They adopt a preteen and Crowley gives him bad advice.

At some point a baby was delivered to someone and was exchanged for the son of Satan. Idk if the baby is the preteen, or the son of satan is the preteen, or neither. This could be a fanfic, I have no way of differentiating the fanfic from canon on tumblr, except that the canon is weirder.

Crowley does not go down a chute. He goes down a telephone cord after making himself microscopic to pole dance on a pin with shroom-induced backgrounds.

During this his stage name is Disco Tony. Get it king go slay you're making better life choices than I am tbh.

Aziraphale is a biblically accurate angel, and you have all gone to extensive lengths to prove this to me. I understood nothing, but there you go.

It's all very queer, just like the fandom.

Crowley is a retired demon but he still sins by breaking the speed limit.

They eat at fancy restaurants and bicker but like in a sexual undercurrent way.

Crowley gives Aziraphale a private dance that is not a lap dance, it is an apology dance, but not in a kinky way, until it is.

Their haircuts keep changing and range from 'this is acceptable and gay' to 'i let a drunk chimpanzee take gardening shears and a blowtorch to my hair'

It's all ineffably queer my good fellows

Everyone keeps trying to convince me Neil Gaiman is the villain yeah no guys I know it's really you. Y'all be like 'SEASON TWO BROKE ME' and then you're making headcanons to make it sadder yeah I see you mmhm.

There is a final fifteen. It is sad. What is it? No one told me.

The demon turns goats into crows and the angel turns them back and then children are turned into newts (does the angel turn them back? who cares not yall) and the demon was the snake in the Eden garden and everyone's furry game seems to be on point.

There are a rather lot of children. I have not seen them. But I am assured they are there. They are, guys. I assume they were turned into the alcohol Aziraphale and Crowley drink or something.

There was an apocalypse plotline. It was averted. It is not important. You don't talk about plotlines in this fandom, no sir.

Crowley doesn't want to go to heaven. Aziraphale is sad.

The kiss is not nice, just like this fandom. It is queer, just like this fandom. It is sad and desperate and masochistic, just like this fandom.

Aziraphale doesn't want to stay back with Crowley. Crowley is sad.

Season 2 ends. Fandom is sad.

Everyone's sanity is hinging on the promise of a happy ending in season 3. Good luck guys.

Y'all better appreciate this. I can't even boast to my mother about this legacy of mine, hey mum your son has been held hostage kidnapped inducted into a cult adopted by a fandom he's not part of look he's winning at life.

[doki-mocha]

I think I've been having a few days long anxiety attack. But I do think my ridiculous rants do warrant some psych help no? Here's one from over a week ago before I donated money to unrwa:

I need to make some comics and merch designs. I can die right now it's so easy. It's difficult. I need to cry. There's no time. Eating is bad for me. Im so tired. I slept twelve hours. It's not enough. Put me to sleep. I have things I need to do. I wish I could've went to more stores. I thought I wanted to see Dad before he sleeps. I'm angry at him. Mom can't remember the things we bought for her. There's too much noise. I miss my friends. I want to see Len. I want to go shopping. All these stores support Israel. I want to buy knick knacks. There's no room in my room. I want to live alone. It's too expensive. My parents are retiring. I still have to live with them. I love my parents. I want to be alone. I want to draw forever. I can die tomorrow. There's stains on my bed. My walls have been the same colors for over a decade. I'm sleeping in the same bed since I was 7. I have clothes I wear from middle school. My clothes cost 50 dollars average now. Tacos cost 3 dollars. Eating is bad for me. Fruits go bad fast. I need to bake banana bread. The bananas will go to waste. Apples are sitting on the table rotting because we don't want to admit we have to throw it away. We're wasting money. Money is worthless. Why are people dying over it. I want to break things. I want a sledgehammer. I want to break things. I want to build things. I want to make things. Theres too much stuff in my room. I want to cry. My head hurts. I want a Cammypus plushie. Hundreds. I wish people bought the things I made. I can't make things no more. My brain is broken. I want to play video games. I need to draw. Therapy is a lie. You can't trust anybody. God isn't real. No one is there to help you. I wanted to be an artist. Kids brains are rotting. People have no empathy. We are all selfish. We can't help everybody. We are all going to die. I want to drink some fruit punch.

Here's one from the other night while waiting for my terrariums to dry:

Trying to make little crafts for fun but I'm still filled with anxiety. I'm like just trying to enjoy myself but I also want to vomit.weekends are never for relaxing it's just another day where it's all too much. All I'm doing is making a tiny fish bowl terrarium for a toy omanyte I made. Why do I have to imagine an illusionary life where nothing bad can happen. If I were to die I want it to be a surprise. I don't want to have the second of regret of not doing everything I wanted and couldn't do. I don't want my life to flash before my eyes while I'm bleeding out or buried under rubble. I want the lights to just go out. I don't want the lights to go out and I still see the silhouettes of objects in the room before me.

It's so weird that my brain will keep telling me to kill myself if I'm not consciously occupied with something. It's like you just painted something and you had no thoughts like that. But waiting for the painting to dry you just think "just die just die the pain in your stomach and head will go away if you're dead" but then you also think "I'm not done with the painting yet this is just the first layer then we do the next part" and you're stuck with the impatience and anxiety of kill yourself kill yourself. Maybe that's why I never waited for paint to draw. And I mess up the layer underneath because I was impatient then you think you're a failure for messing up the painting go kill yourself right now. And you think no no let me fix this I just need this new coat of paint to dry then we can add a new good layer this time and wait.

What I'm saying is I'm tired of my brain defaulting to killing yourself. But I'm still waiting for paint to dry while. Having the static stabs all over my brain. It doesn't make sense but I have things I still need to do. I still haven't lined Cammy yet gosh diddly

Here's one from yesterday:

Whatever I do dad will be upset at me about it. None of the things I do will get me money. Hobbies are useless. We are all going to die. It sucks so much everything that's happening in the world. We can be bombed tomorrow and it will all be over

What we post online won't last forever unless someone cared enough to save it. All the memories you hold in your house can burn down with a dry rag on a hot oven.the thousands of dollars you sunk into something you love can be crushed under a weak tree. I've had this disgusting pessimistic world view since I was 9. I don't get it. It's deep in my humanity under the fake optimism and smile I'm forced to wear on the special occasion where I have the energy to go out into the world. I can be stabbed or sliced by a machete by a deranged man who already gave up on reality.im just a random unfortunate citizen that can succumb to natural disasters. All the photographs that hold onto memories by broken brain can't remember can be washed away in a flood or a bursted water tower. Everything is temporary. Nothing stays. So why can't I just enjoy them. The negatives bury me. The nihilism is just darkness. I wish I had the desperation to just believe God will save us.

Here's from this morning:

Ya know I think I'm too afraid to start something because I don't want things to be unfinished if I were to disappear. Like if had something that would link me to earth I would strive more to finish or get far to have a legacy. I never had a legacy or if I did I buried it years ago with glimmering and hopeful eyes. Bags are forming under my eyes now. I'm no longer looking like I'm 16 my physical appearance is starting to match my age the instant I stop smiling and it's awful awful. I want something left behind but I'm so set on dying I don't even make an attempt dumb dumb

Here's one from just now after one two many YouTube ads and me dropping clay on the floor just now:

I'm reigniting the rage and need to die Everytime my weak trembling hands let stupid shit through my fingers. I can drink a whole bottle of vodka. Will it make the anxiety worse or better I'm going to cry I can create. Amolotov cocktail and just burn the house down. I can make the death of every memory that is put to paper fucking disappear. We can make a psych waiting room magazine filled with my rant. They can say "look at this stupid idiot complaining about nothing. These are obvious ramblings of someone who needs help. If you write like them that's just a rough draft to a shoe cide note you know. So make sure to get your help right away."

Is this a cry for help? I don't want to admit it is. I just want someone to confirm there's something wrong. Or drag me away somewhere safe because I won't be able to to do it myself. I'm torturing myself trying to keep everything hidden and safe. But I don't think my body is built to keep things hidden. I'm trembling. I can't sleep. I'm crying. I sleep too much. I'm on my period. I'm on different medication. Alcohol is so tempting. There's nothing wrong in life. There's something wrong in my head. It doesn't make sense. The world can't accommodate it. There is no peace. There is no quiet. There is no healing. There is no waiting. There is no break. Time keeps moving. Things keep breaking. Things keep ruining. Things won't be fixed. Things get changed.bthinfs get remade I feel everything around me I feel nothing I shake I twist in aching it's hurts I've been broken words don't make sense they mean nothing I wish I knew another language I wish I had the capacity to learn new things I wish the brain would stop making up new problems to worry about I wish I could do things I wish I could start things I wish I could finish things I wish people understood I wish my family understood j wish they wouldn't get mad why is everyone looking at me why do I have to do everything why do I have to make allt he choices why is every choice wrong why is the room so hot why am I so cold I'm sweating I'm not trembling I'm crying my organs feel like they're vibrating these ads are so annoying why can't I listen to music there's too much noise I hate this stop playing the same song over again I have no new interests I can't play games anymore I'm wasting my days my youth is just lying in bed and wishing to die where is the stride what happened to my passion what happened to me why do I forget who I am every day who was I yesterday what is yesterday what is time. It's February.

Oops there goes another one of those ADHD rants haha aren't our brains so silly????