#maybe tell him he’s a good boy?
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Anyone who meets/witnesses Lucifer: Why is he the sin of pride??? I mean he’s a bit flashy but I wouldn’t say he’s prideful… he doesn’t seem that bothered by peoples opinions…. And he’s so depressed, he spends most of his time hating himself… I just don’t get it 🤔
All of AO3/Tumblr/twitter: Let’s give this bitch the nastiest praise kink hell has ever seen… 😩👌🔥🔥🔥
#hazbin#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#daddy issues#religious trauma#lucifer has 1 braincell#lucifer adhd#hazbin lucifer#lucifer#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer morningstar#can someone give him a pat on the head#maybe tell him he’s a good boy?#he’s been through enough#praise k!nk#praise kink go brrrr
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I always have a soft spot for characters who have a protective streak for another out of gratitude for their kindness towards them, but Charles’ protectiveness towards Edwin really hits a particular way because it’s so so apparent that it’s specifically about wanting Edwin to feel as safe and as comfortable around him as Edwin made Charles feel in his dying moments. I’m going to shatter like glass.
#and this is exactly why I think the cat king thing bothered Charles so much#‘why isn’t he talking to me? doesn’t he know ive got his back? what could be so bad that he wouldn’t tell me?’#and the devlin house completely uproots his sense of ‘goodness’ and makes it all compound into#‘maybe I’m not a good person and maybe that’s why I can’t help my friends properly’#:(#no further proof is needed that Edwin feels safest with Charles over anyone else#when his first reaction after finally figuring out his feelings for Charles is to immediately want to confess to him#even though he’s scared. he trusts Charles that much that he has to try and tell him right away.#gah. they’re so sweet.#dead boy detectives#charles rowland#edwin payne#storyrambles#dbda spoilers#random thoughts
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With this absolute unit I declared that my entire savings to pull Eternal Knight sebek is gone
#mod posting#i love birthday bloom cards#if i could i would have pulled everyone's#i pulled sebek bcs he has duo magic with trey & i use trey a lot#i pulled ortho bcs he has duo magic with sebek & i kinda use sebek a lot too#i pulled trey bcs his card is just beautiful#i don't use floyd a lot but bcs he has duo magic with ortho & has healing attribute i was like why not#i use ortho a lot#thankfully he came home in one 10 free pull#and then jade#i didn't plan to pull him i hardly use kalim to activate his duo magic...#but then i saw that one of his dialogue mentions trey saying happy birthday to him at the corridor#AND I SPENT FIVE 10 PULLS TO REEL HIM IN#WHICH IS THE LAST OF MY SAVINGS FOR ETERNAL KNIGHT SEBEK FHSHS#i feel like i saw a rerun for eternal knight sebek much after the first pulling event so...#maybe i'll have the chance to pull him after saving some more in the future??#i don't know#i wish he would come home in first 10 pulls bcs that's the only thing i have rn#WHY HIS EVENT JUST WON'T COME SOONER#I TRIED SO HARD TO CLUTCH ON MY DIA SAVINGS FOR SO LONG#BUT IT HAS BEEN SO HARD SOO HAARDD I TELL U SEBEKK#the only good boi in this entire unit is floyd#ths others are quite a nightmare to pull#trey and jade especially i believe#the halloween rerun was hard to passss#i love the outfitss
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pouring one out for luo binghe in my disciple SQQ fic, poor guy has taken a backseat here. we're nearly 30k words deep and he hasn't even shown his face once. it'll be much longer before he even actually talks to Shen Qingqiu.
(i say im pouring one out but in reality im sitting in my director's chair chewing on a cigar and wearing a beret as he tearily and unsuccessfully pleads with me for more scenes with Shen Qingqiu)
#svsss#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#SQQ: building his found family on QJP and Plotting#LBH: idk off sniffing rocks somewhere while on one of his protagonist adventures#i say im pouring one out for him but in reality im laughing at him. sorry my guy you are just NOT my priority. be a better peak lord#tell your disciples to stop with the institutionalized peak hierarchy and the internal political intrigue and MAYBE we'll talk#oh he cant hear me he's wearing airpods. welp. *stares at LQG and YQY* more SQQ time for you then!#its funny because i do love bingqiu i just decided to write a fic exploring a roleswap concept i saw where LBH wasnt a good peak lord#and the concept itself didnt explore what consequences might occur if LBH was as inactive a PL as LQG was before redeeming him#like if BZP can go lord of the flies while unsupervised what happens if you leave QJP the same way?? political court intrigue and sabotage#being the protagonist and going on many adventures is great and all.... if you aren't tied down with the responsibilities of a peak lord.#binghe. binghe. binghe. binghe. your head disciple has instated a hierarchy on your peak and routinely sabotages the cultivation of the#junior disciples by actively disrupting their learning by sending them off to do menial chores that should be distributed equally across#the peak. binghe. he's gonna get someone killed. binghe. BINGHE. you're inadvertently creating a generation of cultivators who harbor#resentment against you specifically bc you failed to care and protect them as their shizun. BINGHE. DO YOU HEAR ME? BINGHE#oop. i guess not. SQQ time to organize a covert resistance group. i mean a secret study group that also doubles as an organization dedicate#to ruining Li Tao's reputation and standing amongst the rest of the sect. by boys! have fun storming the castle!#tldr unsweetened lemonade is: 'i force SQQ into a position of no power where keeping his head down is not an option bc neither the system#+ nor his surrounding peakmates will let him fade into the BG. and there's no LBH around for him to wifebeam into the Fave Disciple spot'#its also a 'SY and SJ are the same person' fic bc i love the trope and having a disciple SY where he's also SJ is such a specific niche#that i'll just have to write it myself in order to see it. im having a blast with it. im gonna give him SO much found family.#liushen and yueshen(? qijiu?) are fighting for 1st while poor bingqiu is trying to claw its way out of 3rd with minimal success#good fucking luck babe you gotta fight SQQ's seven evil disciples first. THEN you gotta fight Liu Qingge and Yue Qingyuan.#and then you gotta fight me. romance isnt even in the cards for this fic they're fighting for the SUBTEXT.#roll for disadvantge binghe
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I'm sorry, I've been trying so hard to accept Izuku becoming a UA teacher but I just can't. I love Horikoshi for the happiness he and his story have brought me over the years, but Izuku being a teacher is just bugging me so hard. I know he'd be an incredible teacher, I'm not arguing against that. But beyond the fact that I think Izuku himself would want to at least stay in the hero industry, I don't think there's any chance Katsuki would've let him give up on being a hero.
I think that's why Horikoshi at least made it a point in canon to emphasize that Katsuki especially was behind funding Izuku's hero suit. Because he of all people could not let Deku go. He needed him to be a hero. And I appreciate that we at least see that much in canon. But honestly I think Katsuki would've stepped in sooner than 8 years later and never would have let Izuku give up on being a hero in the first place.
I don't know at what point Izuku gave up on being a pro hero and started looking at other career options, but whenever it happened, I just know he must have spoken to Katsuki about it. Izuku, unreliable narrator that he is, probably fooled even himself into thinking that he's okay with it. That he's blessed to have lived his dream as long as he did. That his time is over. But Katsuki would've shut that shit right down.
Kacchan Bakugou did not watch Izuku spend 10+ years wanting nothing more than to be a hero, while quirkless, just to then watch him give up on being a hero because he lost his quirk. He would've called bullshit on that immediately.
Katsuki knows Izuku intimately. He knows how badly Izuku needs to be a hero. Being quirkless never stopped Izuku from wanting to be a hero before. There's no reason it should stop him now. And he'd say as much. Ain't no way he'd let Izuku give up on being a hero just because he lost OFA.
#bnha manga spoilers#bakudeku#bkdk#bnha 430#Get out those fucking notebooks of yours‚ Izuku. I know you have plenty of shit written down about support items for a quirkless hero.#katsuki has seen Izuku be quirkless and still want to be a hero so he knows something's wrong here#why doesn't he want to be a hero anymore? what's stopping him?#is there guilt at play here? something to do with not being able to save shigaraki?#or did Izuku become so attached to OFA that he doesn't know who he is without it anymore? doesn't think he can be a hero without it?#he needs Katsuki to remind him of who he was before OFA. of the quirkless boy who wanted to be a hero.#i think what's bugging me so much is that izuku had never shown any interest in being a teacher#if he had wanted to be a teacher since before the war then yes‚ I'd be happy for him and so so proud#good on him for deciding that he wants to help shape the next generation through teaching and whatnot.#maybe he realized that he can inspire others through ways not involving beating villains and stuff#but you cannot tell me he wouldve ended up a teacher had he kept OFA#the only reason he became a teacher is because he lost OFA. he never would've done it otherwise. he would've become a pro hero#that's why it feels like a loss to me. because it's a back up plan. not his true goal.
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do you know what was the biggest fumble in sitcom history….
not establishing this fucking chaos duo as a pairing
#ok maybe not the biggest fumble#but still pretty big#they’d of been so good together#like she comes up with the best schemes and he has zero concerns about his own safety#tell me that wouldn’t be perfect#arrested development#gob bluth#maeby funke#they could’ve been perfect#bluth family#but instead they kept trying to make michael and maeby happen#chaotic duo#can you tell that i’m currently re watching arrested development#lol#and also while we’re here#buster bluth was so underused#like buster x anyone always banged#he had the best chemistry with everyone because he was just an entirely different level of deranged#and i loved him for it#justice for my boy#buster bluth#ok that’s all
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#web weaving#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#itadori yuuji#yuuji... oh yuuji#can you tell im being a little biased here? this one's a lil more elaborate i think#what to say about itadori yuuji#the boy who became a monster; the heart that would stop beating before it could rot; the child who grew up too fast#the victim of his own best intentions#yuuji is i think the perfect intersection of guilt and grief and rage and love#he hates himself but he loves others more#he has a monster inside of him but maybe it never consumes him because hes used to the monster#maybe he already carried it with him long before sukuna and his fingers#the beauty of itadori yuuji to me is that he knows the ugliness of the world#he knows pain and grief and rage and hate and fear#he can be brutal#he understands sukuna's cruelty because hes wielded it just as much as hes been pinned through by it#itadori yuuji knows darkness and monsters#the thing that makes him such a driving force and so beloved of so many#is because he doesn't let himself succumb to it#he tries not to resent his suffering and forces himself to look forward; he perserveres through loneliness and smiles through grief#he remains kind#he laughs#he loves#he struggles and cries and screams and breaks down#but in the end he gathers himself he breathes#and he takes one more step#thats his choice: in the face of all the odds and all the bitter flavours the world has to offer he says#no#if i cannot be good i will be kind
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FUCKING DESPISE Jiang Cheng APOLOGISING TO Wei Wuxian HE WOULDN'T HE WOULD NEVER EVER
he shouldn't have to either. tell me what he did wrong. this man didn't kill him. this man didn't break any promises to go fuck the nearest Lan. Rebuilt his own sect. ON HIS OWN. obviously people helped But you promised to help and then You didn't. You DIED and when you came back DIDN'T EVEN VISIT. believed rumours about your own little brother. Refused to trust him for who is INSTEAD AGAIN CHOOSING THE NEAREST LAN.
stop making Jiang Cheng apologise he wouldn't!! and FOR WHAT ???
#jc my boy#theres a part of me going maybe for whipping him with zidian.#and like LMAO no#i would also hit someone with an electric whip if they came back to life AND DIDN'T COME TO ME#deserved actually#no one tell me about wwx and his fucked up trauma with yzy and the whip#he cares about it less than you#HE TOLD HIS BROTHER IT WAS JUST HIS DUTY#likeoooooooh#pissed me off#chengxian#sorry is only in jc vocabulary for Jin ling#hes a sect leader he Cannot politically apologise ever#good lord#keep seeing unfuck you or whatever#HE DID NO WRONG#ogmdzs
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What do you think is Tarn's favorite part of being ordered to do something? That he's worth something/seen as valuable or the idea of the reward at the end? Or something else entirely?
Probably closer to your first theory: my first instinct is that Tarn seems to derive a lot of his self-worth and purpose in life from an attachment to others/an ideology (see: his whole thing with Megatron), although I honestly doubt he was like that before Megatron fucked him up with brainwashing. Being ordered to do something = being needed, and being needed = having value and a reason for living.
It also seems to me that, even as Damus, Tarn has a bit of a rash/emotional/passionate streak: very much the type to fix an ideology/set of instructions upon himself, then charge forward with a sense of purpose. If we look at Damus getting irritated at Orion for "just sitting around and waiting for the Senate soldiers to show up," it seems this guy really wanted to ACT and DO, perhaps to the point of slight recklessness/thoughtlessness. As if he equated active "doing" with productivity and "having a plan" and taking initiative, but thought of waiting as a form of weakness/giving up/not being prepared. (Ties in rather neatly with his tendency for organization maybe... weird how he's simultaneously reckless with his individual actions but also needs a sense of Order And Hierarchy to feel fulfilled on a general life level.)
So I think Tarn also gets enjoyment from following orders bc eh... I'm genuinely not trying to make this a petplay thing 🤣but I'd say that maybe he gets a sense of comfort/security from being able to just charge forward and act, no need to worry about morality or questioning his own motives. Just outsource his thinking to someone else beloved, trusting, and all-wise (Megatron) so he can experience the pure bliss of fanaticism and utter self-righteousness/confidence in his own actions. He even admits to Deathsaurus that he let himself conflate Megatron with the Decepticon ideology when instead Decepticonism is based on a dream, an idea.
So on that note, it also seems to me that Tarn might like following orders specifically bc he feels a personal connection to Megatron? Megatron groomed him as a protege/his most dedicated and fanatical follower. Their conversation on Necroworld shows that Tarn quite obviously thinks the world of Megatron and wants to see him as that figure of legendary competence/willpower. I don't think Tarn just wants to have The Right Ideology so that he can Feel Good About Being A Good Person (TM); it seems like Tarn specifically wants* to have a personal connection, some sense of approval or specialness, a bond with some authority figure who not only assures that he can trust them, but that they also trust him utterly. I think it says a lot that Tarn was even able to fall in love (figuratively) with Megatron more than he was with Decepticon ideology itself. It points to the fact that what he's really missing is interpersonal connections. Er, as much as an incredibly toxic and manipulative parasocial relationship is an interpersonal connection, but I never said that it was a good connection.
*In light of recent panels of Damus I reviewed from a Tarn/Damus post I reblogged last night, Damus seemed to actually be quite comfortable challenging/questioning Orion to his face and wanting to know what their plan is and why. I think it says a lot that Damus' relationship with Orion was one between a leader and a soldier, yes, but it was also informal and non-hierarchical enough that Damus felt completely free to question Orion. When you contrast this with Tarn talking to Megatron ~4 million years later, he's suddenly switched to an attitude of absolutely worshipping Megatron and believing he has utterly absurd/impossible levels of ability, vision, confidence, willpower, etc. Seems to me like part of Megatron's brainwashing of Damus was specifically centered on wrapping his heart around his little finger for the purpose of cultivating that blind obedience. Given Megatron's thoughts at the end of his Spotlight issue (he refers to his soldiers basically as blind idiots who can be whipped into a furor with the right propaganda lines), this is a pretty common emotional manipulation tactic he used in general. It just seems like Megatron concentrated this manipulation by singling out Damus and making him feel special, that he saw himself in Damus, and that he truly cared about him and wanted him as a student. You know, an emotional connection.
Honestly, this is kinda dark tho, bc now I'm kind of sad and thinking that Tarn doesn't naturally have this level of codependence/slave-like devotion to a person and it was actually just something Megatron shaped him into as a leash of sorts... Damn, I can be horny about people sublimating their trauma/emotional issues through kink, but not in a guilt-free "haha he's a dog" way. 😔 JK I'll still call Tarn a dog (affectionate) bc it's just so true.
#squiggle answers#i accidentally stumbled upon tarn meta gold with this one so thank you!#incidentally i think the idea of 'wants a higher authority figure to tell him what to do so that all he has to do is act and not think'#is something tarn has in common with OP and is yet another reason why i think they're basically father and son alskdfjlsdalk#god i want tarn/damus and OP interactions so bad SO FUCKING BAD IT'S GONNA KILL ME#what i say: haha tarn is a dog if someone just leashed him and called him a good boy it'd fix him#what i mean: bro is emotionally codependent bc of grooming and trauma and needs a dom/master to patch his missing pieces#bc it may be possible that he's too far gone to be saved but maybe being treasured by a master who actually cares about him#is salvation of a sort#tarn is probably also an 'acts of service' type of affection-haver#he seems to enjoy action and grand gestures and other displays of 'embodying'
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brocken - ultraman ace ep6
#he breathes fire :)#you cant tell from these but there are two people in that suit and it was very good#and then ace cut him to ribbons 😌#fuck maybe i DO need an ace tag cause boy howdy am i having feelings about these characters
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Dorian: hey thanks for earlier-
Damien:...
Damien: I KNOW YOU ARE DATING THE QUEEN USE CONDOMS
#dorian:🤯#NO BC THIS IS HOW THAT CONVERSATION BASICALLY WENT😭#dorian is like hey thanks for helping save dani and the world maybe we can fix our sibling relationship from now on ~heh#and damien's first instinct as a big brother is to tell him I KNOW ABOUT YOU AND MONICA USE PROTECTION#MEANWHILE KEEP IN MIND THAT DORIAN WAS IN A COMMA FOR 3 YEARS SO HES KINDA STILL MENTALLY 13#so hes like protection against what?#and Damien has to make sure if he knows how kids are made which ofc he does he has read every book that exists#also yeah his second instinct was to come out and tell him hes in love with the king#damn the whole family has a thing for the royals huh#expect dani she fell for the orphan boy who scams people for a living#good for her#dorian wytte#damien wytte#hooky#hooky webtoon
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idk if i've discussed it before (i have certainly THOUGHT about it) but someone on my kuwa suffering ep 89 comp mentioned it and i just had to go off about it like. ok. sensui tells yusuke something along the lines of "you heard itsuki" when itsuki's inside the uraotoko, implying that not only can sensui hear those inside the uraotoko, but that he expects yusuke to be able to as well. which means that yusuke Almost Certainly Heard And Kind Of Ignored kuwabara's prolonged mental breakdown and wailing about how much he needs yusuke to live etc. which. guHHH i hate him yusuke you ass but also listen.
the only acknowledgement yusuke gives to this (if any) is when he says something like "sensui you're sooo fucking cooked this plan's going perfectly (my friends are going to get strong and kill you when i die)." he's trash talking to sensui, ignoring the others because, i think, he doesn't want to acknowledge what he's doing to them.
yusuke is explicitly recreating the experience he had with kuwabara's "death" at the hands of toguro, complete with the announcement of intent (and power) to kill, the inability to impede the threat in any way (barring a power-breakthrough), and the target in some way racing towards/volunteering for their death. yusuke learns through doing, and through tough love-style approaches. it's only effective if it hurts. watching kuwabara die like that was devastating to yusuke, but it sure as hell fucking worked. he beat toguro because of that maneuver. so even if he has to (re-)traumatize his friends in the process, this method will make his friends stronger, and he feels confident in that. but he never had to live with the consequences of kuwabara's death, not really. that's something hiei makes clear before they enter the cave as well, that there are no fake-outs ready to make him or anyone else stronger. the only deaths here will be real. the only power gained will come at a high, permanent cost. hiei's warning is an attempt to keep everyone alive, to keep yusuke from being stupid. and then yusuke decides to take that fatality into his own hands, but it's kind of his friends who would pay the price. he's going to make them live through the days, months, years without him, the actual permanency of loss (assuming they survive for that long), something he never experienced with kuwabara (a new facet of that traumatic scenario), AND he's escaping the emotional fallout of this choice through death. he doesn't have to see them mourn, won't get yelled at, won't watch them fail to move on. he's tapping out and choosing to believe they'll be fine.
but i think he feels guilty. just a little. i mean, yusuke couldn't even believe that people cared about him enough to want him alive in episode one. he's staked everything on his friends, which means he still kind of... doesn't value his own life, at least not compared to theirs. but he believes his friends love him and want him around, and we know that because he has to, or else he wouldn't make a plan that depends entirely on that love. he is actively leveraging the care he doesn't think he deserves, trying to hurt them in a way he is intimately familiar with (only worse), for.... what, exactly?
this is kind of my sticking point tbh. i don't think the answer is... super clear, but let's start with what it's not.
yusuke is not doing this because it is the most practical way to save all of humanity; that would be the mafukan, which he stopped. it could be a gamble to save all of his friends? the mafukan strategy would guarantee koenma's death/eternal imprisonment, whereas this strategy gambles all of humanity on the chance that his friends come out of the Easy Break Oven strong enough to avert the end of the world. if the sacrifice of even one friend is completely intolerable, perhaps he'd accept those slim odds and their steep consequences. yusuke tends to take risks like that, especially when he's got fight-induced tunnel vision. he doesn't think things through too much; his schemes are usually dependent on surprising his enemy enough to oneshot them. truthfully, i think this is the closest we'll get to an answer, and it's a more conventional one for this kind of story. but there is another layer i haven't been able to get from my mind.
i think yusuke is gifting each of his friends an honorable warrior's death.
so, in case it needs saying, yusuke, kuwabara, kurama, and hiei all (at least once, if not several times) exhibit a desire to die in combat in a way they deem noble to give their lives purpose (usually by self-sacrifice, but sometimes by another metric of honor, like hiei's duel with shigure and his desire to die in mutual defeat against an evenly matched opponent; or even kurama's decision to fight shigure in his human form, displaying a sort of passive suicidality via placing being true to himself in this (somewhat symbolic/inconsequential) way over survival). they need to make their lives count for something, because they feel guilty for being alive (kurama and hiei feel guilty for their past actions (hiei's is most evident in his distance from yukina, though that's not its primary reason), hiei, kuwabara, and yusuke have all been ostracized and made to feel like burdens on/unwanted by their caregivers and general society; all four of them have felt profound isolation even from their loved ones (yusuke and hiei are rather obvious; kurama can never tell his mother about the majority of his life nor what she truly means to him in the context of it; and kuwabara is separated from his peers for his spiritual awareness and his "stupidity" (plus his parents aren't around? and he is Desperate to define manhood/manliness through a broader pop cultural one which includes the warrior sacrifice thing bc he has no male role models BUT that's for another post) (i will admit kuwa's the most tenuous one here irt isolation)). they want to die for a cause so badly it's actually physically painful to me. it is passive suicidality, and they define their lives and identities by their relation to, engagement with, and skill at doing violence, etc. they live to die by the sword. anyway. nobody talks about it but i think it's very important to understanding what yusuke's doing here.
because i think he knows that about himself and his friends. they're kindred spirits. at the very least he knows this about kuwabara, who literally made a speech about this before diving into toguro's fingers In The Event That He Is Recreating Explicitly. he is dying nobly like they all want to on the chance that they'll get to break out and fight sensui rather than dying without even getting to take a swing. it's about his pride and theirs. but i don't think yusuke necessarily believes they'll win. he knows better than anyone how strong sensui is, and how wide the gap is between sensui and team urameshi. his stated position that humanity is doomed and that he doesn't care about its fate is, i think, not completely genuine, but if we take it at face value, he's not killing himself so that his friends can survive the end of the world. something's going to come around and kill them eventually. he's doing it so they can survive long enough to fight sensui. he needs them (specifically kuwabara) to be strong enough to free themselves to begin round two. but he's given up on their side winning, on humanity surviving, on his own victory---why should he think his friends are capable of winning? this could be another case of yusuke's fight-blinders. it could be another gamble, more blind faith put in his friends. but honestly it reads more to me that yusuke's giving them a chance to die together on the battlefield. them winning would be great, but it's not his goal. it's a pipe dream.
he knows he's going to be killed. they're probably going to be killed, too. but to make it so they last a little longer against sensui, to make the odds a little more even, so they are killed not like livestock, but like worthy fighters, he'd die a little faster. it's the best kind of death someone like them can have; and he'll deprive himself of it just to make their ends a little sweeter. even if the road to that is far more bitter.
but it's not like yusuke's friends know what he's thinking or agree to it, and he can't exactly make his case for it in the moment. he's making that choice for them. whatever his intentions, whatever odds he thinks they have of beating sensui, he's kind of sealing all of their fates. so how the hell is he supposed to acknowledge kuwabara screaming at him not to die, trying desperately to express what yusuke means to him in what could be their final moments together? this plan is going to hurt his friends terribly. it is already doing so, and he can hear it. his choices to stop koenma from using the mafukan and to die for his friends' strength are both selfish in some way, no matter how you read the scene. if yusuke comforts kuwabara, he might not get strong enough. if he twists the knife, well... how could he forgive himself? and either way by responding he would have to face them all and say yes, i'm doing this regardless of your feelings (with the intention of hurting you). so i think he does what he often does. he avoids it. he lets that emotion glance off him and his bravado and his one-liners so he doesn't have to deal with the fact that he's hurting people, that he's scared and guilty and unsure of himself. that he's about to die again, about to put kuwabara through the grief he saw at his wake again, only worse; about to put his quieter friends through something similar.
yusuke is confronted with the responsibility one has to the people who care for them, and he runs from it in an attempt to give them some small peace. just like when he died before and thought hey, at least my mom and keiko won't be burdened by me anymore. because the only thing he can really do for them is die.
#UGH. sick of this stupid show (<- pathologically obsessed with it (it's just on a downturn rn))#anyway hi welcome back to my terrible mind here's another excruciatingly long yyh meta post no one's gonna read that i should just make a#video essay because nobody wants to squint through all that text but MAYBE they'd listen to me read it out. anyway#i actually made and then abandoned another post comparing yusuke's sacrifice here to genkai's death by toguro if anyone's interested in tha#anyway yeah sorry if im rusty in uh talkking about these guys. they're still rattling around in here dw#that comment just fucking hijacked my brain. my first thought was to make an ep 89 yusuke pov fic but since that's Probably not#gonna ever Actually get done (sorry) i figured i'd put the analysis behind it here bc this fucking choice makes me want to rip my hair out#(in a good way in a painful way)#yeah this gets derailed. ugh i hope all that stuff about yusuke's motivation in this gambit makes sense bc i still don't feel 100% about my#reading of it. his ass IS very much an unreliable narrator. but in what way? ehhhhh it's hard to say for sure in this case. to me.#yyh#yu yu hakusho#yyh meta#yayyy#yusuke urameshi#literally wrote for so long the sun started rising (<- not impressive since you don't know when i began writing. but i can't tell you bc i#don't remember lol)#also: his relinquishing of this fight is very interesting to me. he loses his shit when raizen kills sensui and deprives him of that victor#and he tells the others to stand down once he returns. so clearly he still Cares about beating sensui himself#but when he thinks there's no other choice he's willing to settle for passing that torch to his friends#he's like well they've earned a good revenge killing. as a treat#the real answer is probably something like 'it would fuck with the pacing' but fuck that lol it's in the show i'm going to talk about it#and a lot of this still applies even if he Can't hear them bc he Has to expect the begging and crying bc 1. he's lived it via toguro 2. his#plan depends on it. even if he's only imagining his friends' heartbreak he's choosing to ignore it for the sake of his plan#ANYWAY the real answer for. pretty much everyone is to give up fighting and find something healthier to attach their worth to#which is why kuwa not being in the final arc is a good thing (as much as it hurts me not to see my boy)#yyh really said YOU HAVE TO BECOME WELL ADJUSTED. DYING WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT#i only skimmed thru this once sorry if it's ass
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when max is depressed we know something's wrong because lucas says with his words that he knows something's wrong but when mike is depressed we don't think anything of it because will's right next to him rolling his eyes about how stupid straight people are
#briony babbles#1) don't assume people's sexualities#I recently saw this from my family members#reacting like !!!!!!! to a girl they know... also like girls?#'oh wow I didn't see that coming' yeah that's because you don't think girls liking girls is normal#so it's sad to see queer people do the same thing bc you KNOW irl queer people act like will#2) I get it romance is stupid people who aren't queer at all and having all these stupid rules for engaging in it are especially stupid#but I listen to my sister talk about her boy drama because I care about her#and it's not just 'how to get them together' it's 'how to help her feel better'#I'm not 15 so maybe I'm being unfair with my wisdom that will doesn't have because he is 15 but like#if I see someone I love people pleasing and feeling like they owe someone a romantic relationship because they're too empathetic#I tell them they should consider working on their boundaries#because I want them to be with someone who makes them truly happy#and then with mike it's just ASSUMING that it's el in THAT WAY#when the only relationship advice he wants to hear is that it's okay to break up with el and still be friends#because he can't lose her again#and ONCE AGAIN he is NOT STRAIGHT#assuming things is stupid! even if he WAS straight but he wasn't happy in the relationship it would be okay to go back to being friends!#mike's problems are just as individual-specific and difficult to understand for his friends as max's are#especially because they won't just say it#but max gets lucas who tries so hard to understand without being told#and mike tries so hard to tell will without saying it outright and will keeps not hearing him#i'm sorry i wasn't there 'it's not your fault' no 'i disappeared' no no you didn't! i just didn't look hard enough. but i see you now#fanon won't tell you this but the point of byler s4 is for *will* to prove that he's good enough for *mike*#mike already did that by being the best bf in the world before they were even dating for the first 2 seasons of the show#saved will's life twice and y'all wanna act like mike doesn't deserve him. shut the fuck up
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I need to chew on sunday
#moonink#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr sunday#sunday hsr#honkai star rail sunday#him qnd his wings#prettiest boy#sparkly eyes#golden crunchy halo#probably tastes good too#maybe like.. mango candy#or like those really expensive raspberry candies#or like those ljttle lemon slice candies#my baby my baby youre my baby say it to me#oooohh baby my baby tell your baby that im your baby#my losing dog#my one card that i cant use#the man who's woman drinks tea in the night#he listens to mitski i swear he does
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Next up is Finn Blake, our resident final boy, baseball player and resident necromancer!!
I was really worried I made Finn look too old for his age as a 13 to 14 year old, but I decided to just go with it because I already headcannon Finn as really tall so if he looks older I’m really sorry,
But anyway, in this au Finn is a necromancer (and later I’ll have to outline the rules and logics behind this) but after his kidnapping and him killing the Grabber he gained a lot of confidence and self worth.
I headcannon that before the reason why Finn never really stood up for himself was because he was scared and that he felt it was just better to take it than create more trouble as he has seen what standing up to an abuser does (I.e. the scene with Gwen and her dad.) he felt it just wasn’t worth it to get hurt more for being defiant.
And sadly only after his kidnapping, realized that he can’t do that anymore because being complacent in one’s abuse isn’t worth it, that it’s better to be loud and defiant then to just keep taking the punches.
However no matter how confident Finn is now he still has trauma, he never lets any of the ghost boys leave anywhere alone and neither does he, he always manages to keep a baseball bat on his person, and lastly the night terrors.
Finn has nightmares of those dying, he dreams he never left that basement, that Griffin and Robin and all the boys were still dead, he dreams of the Grabber somehow learning about Gwen and killing her. It scared him, it leaves him rushing into one of his siblings rooms to check on them.
And Finn is also the resident shoulder to lean on, he gave the boys life again and saw them at their literal lowest and saw their traumas laid out, the boys trust him a lot. For some it’s easier to come to him but for others it’s harder and Finn knows this because somehow he can always tell.
Overall Finn is a clever, sweet, confident young kid who tries to help the people he cares about.
#pippi art#the black phone fandom#the black phone#the black phone fanart#necromancer finney au#finney blake#tbp finney#finney blake fanart#also Finn getting a letterman was for cool purposes#he also has a spade patch on his right shoulder for Vance to match. Because Finn sewed the patch on Vance’s own jacket!#Finn also got Bruce a letterman as a gift!#I’m gonna add more patches to represent the boys#like maybe a plant one for Griff. and a green baseball for Bruce#A Red Robin for Robin. and a hand-made newspaper patch for P.B.#and an eyeball or tarot cards for Gwen#if you can’t tell Finn is my favorite along with Griffin#also Finn might just be a pitcher but he’s still got a damn good arm that can pack a punch/ swing#Finn’s eyes glow in the dark just a little btw. like idk why I chose yellow but lol#he’s my special boy and I love him#also!!! Blake sibling friendship bracelet!!#like this kid only had one real friend and he gave him the motivation to kill a man you really think he wouldn’t give his entire self for#the rest of the boys.#paperboys next btw!#I’m planning on showcasing how the boys all bond with Finn and how well they mesh together…almost like fate!#also yes I know Finn was scared of Vance but I bet my bottom dollar if Finn didn’t know Robin he’d be scared of him too#I have a lot of thoughts about Vance. Finn. and Robin#Finn is the therapist friend that desperately needs therapy but also refuses to go to therapy because he thinks his experience#‘wasn’t that bad’ like no bby…
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felix being referred to more or less exclusively as "your soldier" in-game speaks to how little the writers put into his character beyond his noggin full of sith secrets & his relationship with the consular; still, i do find it kind of sweet and funny, in a way. he's not a republic soldier, not even your personal bodyguard; he's your soldier. the consular is a small nation-state in and of herself
#accurate.#felix iresso#swtor#jedi consular#open tags for My Rant:#going back through rishi and doing the cute little holocron quest got me brooding - as i often do - on my best boy felix#that the writers could not think to give him anything in KOTXX that wasn't Torture Angst is deeply shitty but a little understandable.#all the other consular comps kind of have a way forward that isn't consular-related when the consular goes away#nadia has the jedi. zenith has balmorra. tharan has his old illustrious career. qyzen has little baby clan and also his religious directive#meanwhile felix isn't involved with your order or a supergenius or a politician or even someone with a lifelong goal#he was a guy doing his best at a dead-end job that turned into a far more enjoyable but still lowkey dead-end job#i would argue they could (should) have sent him to ossus but i can see them balking because Doc was already there#that's a little narratively redundant especially bc Doc has an extremely useful set of non-martial skills you would want to center#when telling a story about survival and persistence against the odds like with ossus#(also he was in the group of companions second-closest in proximity to the emperor in base game)#HOWEVER.#because i am immensely sexy and cool and have a huge brain i think i've cracked it#the way to give felix a compelling story post-consular is to put him the fuck in charge.#no longer your soldier or anyone's. his own. maybe even in charge of a large group of people in need of someone to follow#considering he used to be really good at that#a group like...idk...maybe the rest of the people incarcerated on his prison colony?#much to think about.
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