#maybe someone cries
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Until Replacements Come
"There's only one reason Alpha-17 comes to the capital."
Brothers don't keep secrets from each other. At least, that's how it's supposed to be. But lately... Wrecker wasn't too sure about that. They weren’t training to be spies; they were training to be soldiers. The brothers of Clone Force 99 all have a secret or two up their sleeves. Crosshair’s medbay sonnet, Tech’s secret lab, and Hunter’s out in the water- However, if these brothers hold their tongue too long, when the truth finally reins free, forgiveness may be too far- Hunter's out in the water- Brothers find their first enemy, not in regs, but in each other. As Tsunami storms place Tipoca City on lock down, secrets come in with the rain
Greetings, dear reader, as you may know I participated in this year's @clonebang as a part of team 10. I had the opportunity to work with @pizzaboy-maul who created corresponding art to my fic. The full fic is finally up on AO3. The first chapter is below, enjoy!
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|| Ch. I || The Lab & Nala Se
The mutation of genetics required hours of dedication. Understanding the structure of one’s DNA, what type of bond holds them together, how many chromosomes and what each individual chromosome affects. That was the tip of the iceberg of knowledge a cloner had to learn and understand. For if one did not, clones would never be viable. Understanding one’s own species’ was completely different to understanding another’s. Nala Se knew this, beyond just simply knowing, she also understood the differences. She understood the manipulation of genes just as well as she knew the effect those mutations would have on the individual later in life. As a young scientist, she felt overwhelmed with the powerful feeling that came with knowing she could create a being and choose every aspect of it. Their eyes, color of hair, whether they would have hair. But as Nala Se got older, she realized it was a great privilege, and not something to take advantage of and fuel the ego of a god. Nala Se was a scientist, she was not a god. As she aged, she viewed her creations with great pride but looking down at all the clones she’d had a hand in creating, it was a bittersweet feeling.
It had been an experiment, as all scientists did, she was simply testing a hypothesis. Following a hunch. Late in her private lab, four clones were created; it wasn’t some grand demandment by the prime minister or chasing after that godly pride, no, it had simply been a test. Four clones. This didn’t happen all at once, no, looking over all the chromosomes individually, manipulating genes to present certain alleles, changing the structure of DNA in itself, an act like this couldn’t possibly happen all at once. No, it happened slowly.
Early in the morning came the first brother; Age acceleration of course. In the case of heightened sensitivity, she knew a majority of those manipulations would have to be added later on in development, so for now, he was almost normal compared to all the clones she’d oversaw. That evening came the second brother, an enlarged hippocampus, resulting in the creation of more neurons and synapses, enhanced neuroplasticity for better absorption of knowledge. This clone would have to undergo constant stimulation to the mind and would remember little details his brothers have long forgotten, but his mind will be exceptional.
The third brother came the following night, enhanced metabolism, heightened protein synthesis; he would tower over everyone around him, he’d move mountains. There was a trickle of doubt, he might turn out to be hard to control, he might wreck everything. The last and final brother came the morning after; enhanced synthesis of rhodopsin and photopsin to better photoreceptors; an added fourth cone: tetrachromacy; Larger optic nerves. This clone will see colors his brothers never would, he’d see clearly in the night and farther in the day.
Over the course of a week, these four enhanced clones were created. The more one manipulated genes, the larger the margin for genetic mutations. The manipulation of DNA is to affect how proteins build the body, the manipulation of proteins is to change the foundation of a house while the framework is already up. That is why this is a test, Nala Se told herself. It was likely these clones would not survive, many base clones already didn’t survive. There were already many undesirable mutations to be fixed in the standard clone. Millions of clones were created, heart defects, missing cones in the eyes, the misformation of bones; all those mutations became a greater risk the more chromosomes were changed. DNA started to self-destruct on itself. For all the clones that were in this facility alone, there were just as many that were quickly discarded when defects like those were spotted. There were already signs of congenital defects in her experimental unit. Nala Se knew that even if all these clones survived, even if they all lived, their life would forever be a struggle. If not due to error in their creation than the lifetime promise of war.
As the lights of this private lab dimmed for the evening, Nala Se reached out her hand for a young girl to take. This young girl took Nala Se’s hand, looking once behind her at the four tubes growing her brothers.
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It's been such a wonderful experience for me. It was definitely challenging. I hope you check it out. Read the full fic here.
#it's angsty#it's full of betrayal#there's water#Cody is there#maybe someone cries#ooooooh#the drama#the bad batch#tbb wrecker#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#tbb tech#alpha 17#commander cody#except he's kote in this fic#clone trooper 99#star wars#tcw#bad batch#tech#wrecker#cb2024#team 10#tragedy writes#tragedy's fave
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One of my favorite things is little lines of dialogue like this that imply Luigi is perhaps the most underestimatable bastard in the entire Mario universe.
#Heck in the RPGs it took four entire games before Bowser realized that maybe Luigi is enough of a threat to refer to him by name#Yes Mario also looks silly but he's got a confidence and charisma that precedes him#Meanwhile Luigi is like... your fruity bookworm neighbor who cries at soap operas and startles when someone sneezes.#It's definitely both a gift and a curse#because on one hand Luigi craves a little bit of respect for the things he's accomplished#and has the natural human desire to look cool and be cool#but he exudes such a strong aura of ''soft bullyable punching bag''#that even the likes of King Boo tend to forget how much of a threat he is until it's too late.#Luigi can lower the guard of anyone#even those who should know better.#Luigi's Mansion 3#Mario and Luigi Brothership#Brothership Spoilers#Mario Analysis#Luigi Mario
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The thing is there a million cute ways that Steve could meet Wayne without Eddie’s involvement, but only two ways that Eddie could meet the Harringtons outside of Steve:
(1) He’s their drug dealer
(2) Little tiny Eddie was riding his bike really fast and they pulled out in front of him. He crashed into their car. They yelled at him.
#take a walk with me#the second one happens#Eddie’s bike is broken beyond repair and he cries about it. Steve’s dad mocks him because he’s an asshole#Steve is in the backseat and he feels bad about his parents yelling and also embarrassed#after school one day he sneakily (like a ninja) follows Eddie home to see where he lives#the next day he drops his bike off out front of his house and bolts#the day after that: Eddie’s semi-fixed bike is in Steve’s garage with a note that says:#‘if you’re tailing someone maybe don’t do ninja flips on the way. also thanks! this is a trade. we’re even.’#Steve takes the bike to his mom and cries about how he ran into a tree so they buy him a new one#they had no idea what his bike looked like anyways#steve harrington#eddie munson#the harringtons#stranger things
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vampires and their black and white umbrellas
#im not even a gerard way fan i just like him a bit#will wood#isabella bunny bennett#gerard way#i guess#i can imagine someone who only know mcr stumbling upon this and being like#“who are these people”#asmo goes blahblahblah#i should draw them together#“girls night!!!!” and they just watch spooky things#or something#idk if thats a gerard way thing to do maybe he just cries himself to sleep like all emos do
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Saudade is a vague and constant desire for something that does not and probably cannot exist, for something other than the present. – Aubrey Bell
FERNANDA MONTENEGRO as ISADORA 'DORA' TEIXEIRA and VINÍCIUS DE OLIVEIRA as JOSUÉ FONTENELE DE PAIVA CENTRAL DO BRASIL // CENTRAL STATION (1998) dir. Walter Salles
#central station#central do brasil#fernanda montenegro#vinicius de oliveira#moviegifs#filmgifs#brazilian movie#this movie used to be exhibited on tv when i was younger and i've watched it maybe a couple of times before#and then i watched it again as an adult and i cried#she should have won the oscar for this but it was unfortunately stolen#i long for is a failed attempt to describe what saudade means but saudade is a lot more than just longing for someone/something#bibi gifs
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The Cookie Batter Bowl...
(i know it's cookie dough but batter bowl is alliteration)
(also sorry the drawing is bad this idea hit me like lightning)
(and here's the masterlist btw)
#they feel BETRAYED#everyone around damian never knows if they'll trust him again#(what really happens is just that damian takes the bowls anyway#but he thought it'd be funny to screw with them)#maybe it went out of hand#maybe someone cried#but it's okay#dc#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#batman#nightwing#batfamily#red hood#damian wayne#robin#stephanie brown#spoiler dc#dc spoiler#the spoiler#alfred pennyworth
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Charmed! 2025 (A Community Recap)
Charmed 2025 happened this past weekend, the 10th anniversary. My con recaps of years past desperately tried to fit in as much detail and information of each day, play-by-plays as I tagged everyone I could remember, talked about all the classes I'd been to, the people I'd met. Nowadays, I'm content to just do a general overview.
I spent a lot of time pensive and thinking about my time spent in the community and during cons. The 10th anniversary for Charmed meant that marked 9 years since I'd come out to my very first one. Longer in the community when I was still only online. How does the time fly by so quickly? It doesn't feel real. I still feel very new, and yet when I look around I'm surrounded by unfamiliar faces, cons growing too large and too quickly for me to recognize every face like I used to at the beginning. This sentiment is far from unique, and I had several conversations during the con with people who echoed similar feelings. At one point, I found myself in a group of people who all predated me in the con-going circuit - a rarity as more and more time goes on. We talked about the growth of cons, my first one. Though I'd spent a lot of the day feeling listless without realizing why, I found myself feeling comforted by the company, and realizing I had been lonely.
It's not at all a bad thing, and I'm genuinely happy that more and more people are finding community at these events - god knows I did. It's an adjustment is all, an ever-shifting growth of my own. It's plain to see from my blog activity over the years that I withdrew from talking as often. Not good, not bad, but also for good, and for bad. It's probably good that I don't reveal as much about myself at the drop of a hat. It's probably bad that I'm more avoidant now than I'd like to be. I'd remarked to a friend a while back that I didn't miss the old MMO that we met each other on and spent our days playing, but that I missed the period of time in my life that it defined. Similarly, I think I was going through a huge shift in life and perspective at the time I was first finding my feet at these events, these gatherings of people that taught me that it was worth it to seek my own happiness, that *I* was worth it. I know this inherently now, but it was much more of an impact back then for obvious reasons. I suppose it's like the honeymoon period of a relationship vs. settling into its stability. I suppose you could say I'm in a long-term relationship with myself! And it's some of the healthiest it's ever been. And now that I'm doing better and more stable these days, I should try to push myself to be out there more often.
Every time someone tells me that I've grown so much, I can't help but tear up and cry. (I'm doing it now as I type this.) And wouldn't you believe it, that happened to me like FOUR TIMES during Charmed!! Come on y'all!! What the hell. There's nothing that solves feeling stagnated in life like hearing that from someone else. I resolved myself at the beginning of this post not to feel like I had to document every interaction and tag every person, but it's difficult to fight the urge to yell it from the rooftops, how each interaction genuinely touched me, how they were the highlights of my con. How I miss them again, and how I can't wait to see them again. It couldn't come soon enough. Thank you to those who have watched my journey and always encouraged me. (I feel like I say this often, but, please know that I mean it every time. Except this time like triple it. That's how much it means to me.)
Charmed changed my life. I will say it to my dying breath and I will always be forever grateful for it. I learned people could be happy. I learned I could be happy. The connections I made at the first Charmed and subsequent years have changed my life beyond what a 2015 version of me could ever imagine. Tangibly, too -- beyond just a shift in perspective and mentality and wanting better for myself, I wouldn't have been able to move out without the chain of events that started at this first con. So- thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
I challenge myself not to document every interaction because in the past, that was how I had to live. Every post was proof I had experienced hardship (and lived). Every con meant a new lease on life and I had to memorize every single one and struggle to do hours long voice recordings about each day of the event to remember as much as I could because, that was all I could bring back. And I don't need to anymore - not because I don't want to remember, but because I'm in a better place now. These aren't the desperate emergency infusions of care I didn't know I could have; now, they are cherished moments with friends old and new, a drop in the bucket of happy memories. And part of life is to forget and talk about old stories and remember them again with good company.
Until the next one, and the one after that, and the many more after that.
-- Ari
#it me#god did I have a tag for sappy posts#I had to force myself not to talk about each time someone said that because I wanted to yap forever about it#even in the tags I want to yap about it#but I think it's okay not to document and save every story#maybe some of them are for later. Maybe at another con#in the only namedrop in this whole post#I am beyond honored and glad that I was able to express to Wiseguy how much this con meant to me#and how it changed my life#and YEAH I CRIED so SUE ME#this post is not long enough and there is still so much to say#but it's okay. I'll make other posts. I will always say more another time#Charmed!2025#con recap#maybe I'll read this post out loud!#where would I even post that though? How? Does Tumblr do voice recordings?#man I've just been bit by the creative bug so bad#I want to express myself again
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My toxic trait is that whenever i see crafts i have zero knowledge of or experience with, my first thought is "i totally teach myself that"
#brought to you by me seeing someone making stuffed toys by hand and wanting to learn asap#i have no skill whatsoever no idea who to ask for help but is that going to stop me?#i have what i like to call crafting hubris#i live in the illustion that i can teach myself any skill#is this true? maybe not but it's not going to stop me#cris speaks
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eddie doesn’t know about the way richie caressed his face after he died or about the way the losers literally had to drag richie away from him btw
#thinking about them a lot#if someone caressed my face so tenderly like that i wouldve cried#but the fact. the fact that he wasnt even alive to even. feel that is just. it breaks my heart fr#ima need the rest of 2024 to recover from them and maybe even longer who knows#reddie#eddie kaspbrak#richie tozier#it movie#it movie 2019#it chapter 2
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tenth doctor being aroace is so important to me and i don't even know why. i love rose tyler so so much but i don't think the right end to her arc was 'kissing tentwo to show people they love each other' like YES THEY LOVE EACH OTHER. did rose want to kiss him, yeah sure i just don't think she wanted to be romantically involved with him yknow?? he'll love rose forever but that doesn't need to be romantic. like yes ten *gets kissed* a fair bit but idk. i just think he's aroace. and that's part of why i think he is so sad about river in the library episodes because he knows it's not *him* that she loves. that's why it's important that martha left him to be with her family and get married because she fancied him but she knew he 'didn't look at her' because he just... couldn't feel that. that's why it's so so so important about donna. that they both knew they were best friends. the ending of the giggle made me so so happy because he's living with donna because he loves her because they're friends. he didn't need to be *with* her to be part of her family or to love her completely.
#idk is this anything#i've only been into dr who for a little bit idk how popular this take is#cos i keep seeing a lot of content for rose esp that is *just shipping* and idk i'm just not seeing it#the s3 bit where he is human for a bit & falls in love with the matron joan and the flashes fo the future he *could* have with her?#yes i cried at that i fully sobbed#'what kind of man doesn't think falling in love will be an problem?' SOMEONE WHOSE AROACE IDK#ahhhh i don't know why i feel so strongly about this rn but anyways#dr who#doctor who#tenth doctor#fourteenth doctor#idk maybe if i watch it all again i'll see something else#aroace#<3
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I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.
#not dislike. its hate#it made me cry several times today#thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers#and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING#its so painful to think of it#today I broke down in the bus and cried#idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside#maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams#the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days#this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste#*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS#the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously#this breaks my heart#dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons#AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔
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HE FINALLY WENT TO THE CLUB!!
#atla#avatar the last airbender#ozai#atla ozai#fire lord ozai#I know y’all see me post and think this bitch again#IM BACK ON MY SHIT#the way I actually cried laughing bc someone appeared in the room I was in#i genuinely couldn’t stop laughing#am I immature maybe#do i care no#this is all he needed plus some of that za#I also downloaded IMVU just for this#the song was between liquorice by azelea banks#or this one yall alr know which one won
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so why did nobody tell me actively trying to date would make me feel lonelier than ever
#it's the thought of the potential happiness just to get ghosted and wondering if you're even worth the effort.......#and then it's the feeling of someone finally putting in effort but not feeling the spark you seek so you cut it off to not#waste their time or feelings#it's the getting attached way too quickly to someone who apparently didn't care but acted like he very much did when you were with him#like. i cried when i rejected a dude. i didn't even want him that's why i rejected him?? but i guess i miss the feeling of being wanted??#which is fucked up? as i was perfectly fine on my own for years? but i guess getting a sneak peek at what “could be” is fucking me up#maybe i should stop and get therapy first. LMFAO#if you read all this im so sorry i'm ok just had to let it out. problem is i got nothing to do this week. next week i'll be distracted&fine
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thinking about yassen gregorovich instead of sleeping (because i love him) and how he is a catalyst. yassen stabbs ash -> ash kills john rider -> ian rider raises alex -> yassen kills ian rider -> mi6 blackmails alex into becoming a teenage spy.
i have so many thoughts that i can't properly articulate. obviously this is a simplified chain of events, but yassen and his choices set off a chain reaction of the world's most unfortunate dominos. especially when you read russian roulette. to be clear im not necessarily trying to blame him for everything because that feels very mean. he was also just a 14 year old kid when everything in his life went wrong, just like alex. only difference being yassen literally had no one.
i think i should write an essay about this because i haven't even gotten into my thoughts about what yassen and alex's dynamic would look like past eagle strike. i would imagine it'd be similar to ellie and joel from the last of us part 2.
where obviously yassen loves alex and alex on some level cares for yassen back but struggles to reconcile that with the fact that yassen is responsible for his uncle's death. a very unforgivable act. it would be so messy and complicated and angsty, because on one hand here is an adult who truly cares about him and has a connection with him through his father. yassen could tell alex about john, and trust that yassen truly wants whats best for him. but he killed ian, and he cannot take that back.
while alex reels from those feelings, yassen is also trying to reconcile his love of alex with the knowledge that he on some level is responsible for the suffering alex endured at the hands of mi6. and possibly even the fact that alex's godfather is the one who killed john and helen.
#btw i think anthony horowitz killed yassen off so he wouldnt have to deal with this lmao#and sidenote ash is responsible for his own shitty choices but i think itd be difficult for yassen to cope with the fact that stabbing ash#led to some very bad consequences for literally everyone#are there any fics that are similar to what im describing?? ?#i read a ton of alex rider fics but i mostly read fluff because im actually too emotionally fragile to handle angst#i cried while reading stormbreaker and that book wasnt even supposed to be sad#if this is doesnt make any sense its because i woke up at 2 am and wrote this#its just word vomit; pure not proofread thoughts directly from my fucked up little brain#idk maybe someone will enjoy reading this#alex rider#yassen gregorovich#alex rider books#ian rider#john rider#chaotic ramblings#and final note i do not ship yalex#i was thinking of this more in terms of yassen having a weird guardian/parental relationship with alex#if it wasnt clear from my ellie and joel reference from the last of us#anyways im gonna go back to making shitposts and memes so i never have to feel anything again thank you goodnight <3
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Anyways
#they KNOW its been the hardest year ive had so far why cant they cut me some slack!!!!!!!#i have never cried so much in a year nor have i felt so much stress and they KNOW that so why!!!!!#also has your father ever said Well this is your problem. you dont know yourself at all.#SIR I HAVE BEEN WORKING HARD IN THIS AREA TOO I KNOW MYSELF BETTER THAN YOU KNOW ME ?????????#which would be clear judging by how lightly you said that because if you knew me you would know how i hate being treated like a little girl#who knows nothing????? and not my mother hearing someone call me mature for my age#and then LAUGHING nonstop and then saying: mature? who? you??#GIRLS I AM HAVING A ROUGH TIME LOL PLEASE IGNORE THIS#i miss my friends so very much!!!! and my parents are always like dont value your friends too much they always leave but youll always have#family. well maybe so but my friends would never say things like that to me#anyways i am going to BED
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I don't really like. Politics post much but I wanna say something. Because the 2020 election was bad. This year is already worse and it's only March
As a queer trans american (who lives in the south, no less, and has to hear the dumbest anti biden propaganda you've ever heard) a republican getting in office is actually doomsday for me. I'm literally horrified of it. It gives me horrible anxiety for days on end and makes me feel physically sick. And if it happens I will not be able to leave immediately like I would want to.
The republicans want to kill me and i have known this since I was thirteen years old and i have just had to live with it. I have to just live with the thought as long as I'm in america. They want to kill me and all my queer friends and every other minority group they hate, they already took away abortion they have already started. And they are going to if we put them in office. Please please god do not let them put Trump in office again. I do not care who is in there, anyone but a republican. I will take almost anyone else but them.
Its to the point where I don't really care that a bunch of swfities are apparently voting democrat because Taylor said so. Yeah that's fucking insane but also it keeps literally the most evil man in this country out of office. Beggars can't be choosers I suppose.
Everyone around me is so sure of a Trump victory. They want him to fix the gas prices and things like that. People I thought were my friends really truly do not care what anti lgbt laws or whatever other horrible law they would make, as long as their personal problems get fixed. And I'm really really hoping that's not the case and that his victory is not already assured because I do not know what would happen and I am scared.
Please don't put him back in office. Just. Please. It's all I ask.
#ren posting#politics#I don't know why I'm posting this really#Because I'm scared. To vent. To get the anxiety and the shakes out#Maybe hope that the cries of a scared highschooler will change someone's mind. I don't know#Anyone but him please#us elections#I don't know what else to tag and I don't really care#Just gonna forget I made this post and move on with my night I think
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