#maybe someday with inspiration or encouragement I can think of a part two

[mermaidgirl30]

✨Saddle Me Up, Cowboy Part 1: Spin Me Around the Dance Floor✨

Cowboy! Joel Miller x fem! reader

Series Masterlist

A/N: Thank you to @alltheirdamn for encouraging me to write this! Beth Dutton and Rip Wheeler from Yellowstone heavily inspired this short little series. I hope you enjoy 🩷 I just saw @auteurdelabre Trope Off challenge, so I’m tagging this as a meet cute for that!

Chapter Summary: You were only trying to enjoy your drink and watch the different couples spin around the dance floor at your favorite country club, but all that changed when you set your eyes on a certain handsome brown-eyed cowboy.

Rating: 18+ only

Word Count: 4.6k

Tags: Lots of fluff, flirting, pining, two stepping, meet cute at a country western bar, no use y/n, no outbreak au, switching POVs, soft! Joel, summer love, reader has hair

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

The neon lights flash across the busy dance floor as bodies sway back and forth to the slow country tune. Smoke permeates through the air as couples hold each other close and the men spin their lovers around the wooden floor. You love two stepping, love the rustic feel of the bar, love the feel of your jean shorts and fitted cowboy boots. You just love being here on a Friday night in your favorite country bar called Cowboys. 

   You stir the straw slowly around in your mixed drink, your elbow leaning against the side of the dance floor, toes tapping on the bottom of the barstool. And as you watch the happy couples spin across the floor, you can’t help but wish that was you out there. 

   When was the last time you came here with a date? Maybe two years. 

   Sure, you’ve been asked to dance. Took a twirl around the room twice with some nice blonde guy that talked about his job and dogs. But it was just friendly and casual. Just a way to spin around the dance floor a couple of times. It wasn’t a perfect match with your cowboy lover. That’s someone you haven’t met yet.

   Tonight, maybe you’d find someone. The one. A girl can dream, and that’s exactly what you do. Dream.

   Another two songs fly by as you sip your fruity drink, watching couples come and go on and off the dance floor. A slow Morgan Wallen song floats through the packed room, your eyes roam around the bar, falling on the far right corner. Just when a couple spins out of the way, it clears your view to the opposite side of the dance floor. And oh my God, your heart drops out of your chest.

   You nearly choke on the fruity liquid, your jaw dropping straight to the floor. There, right across the room, stands the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in your entire life. 

   He’s tall, well over six foot. His green button-up flannel clings to strong biceps, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, exposing thick veins that spider down into massive hands. His hair is dark and sandy, silver threaded through his tousled curls and burrowing into the thick beard against his sculpted jawline. He’s tan, dark from working out in the sun, you think. And his eyes look like the color of chocolate almonds from what you can tell under the dim lights. And his smile. Jesus, it could light up an entire room. 

   Soft. He looks so soft the way he holds the flute of his beer bottle, the way his eyes light up every time he laughs with his friends. And God, you’d kill to see him smile at you like that.

   You keep your gaze on him, staring like a child in a candy store, eyeing the last Hershey’s bar on the shelf. And it’s like your first school crush all over. You need to get a hold of yourself, but you just can’t. He’s too tempting, too smoldering, too perfect.

   And in the next moment, his eyes are on you.

—

   Sweat beads Joel’s forehead as he takes another swig of his beer, a chuckle leaving his lips as Tommy teases Maria and pulls her to his chest. She just laughs and kisses him on the cheek as he wraps her in his leather jacket. Joel wishes he had someone like that. Someone to love as much as Tommy loves her. Maybe someday he would.

   “You gonna ask anyone to dance?” Tommy asks, his brown eyes trained on Joel. 

   “Eventually,” Joel mutters, sighing as he takes another generous sip of the strong alcohol. 

   “Better before the end of the night,” Tommy laughs, pulling Maria by the hand to the dance floor. Before Tommy turns away, he gives a brotherly shove to Joel’s shoulder and winks. “Pretty girl at twelve o’clock, straight across the room. Go get her, Joel.”

   Just as Tommy leaves him with a confused expression, he looks up and freezes the minute he spots you. He gulps and sets his beer on the table, his fingers curling into the wooden tabletop, eyes wide when your eyes meet his.

   Big, glittering, beautiful eyes swallow him whole, the swirling lights making them glow even brighter. He catches his breath and has it knocked right back out of his chest again as a shy smile curls against your glossy red lips. He thinks he just fell in love. 

   Your pretty hair falls in long waves down your shoulders; your low-cut tank top sticking to your sun kissed skin shining under the bright spotlight. It’s like an angel sits before him, and he’s mesmerized. Your tight denim shorts hug your curves, and your tan boots with embroidered butterflies scuff against the barstool. Your pretty eyes flick down to your drink and back up to him repeatedly, sweetly beckoning to him to come ask you to dance.

   Shy, sweet, adorable, beautiful. He picks all this out just by looking at your pretty face. And you’re just his type of girl; he already knows it. He thinks you were made just for him to find tonight.

   It goes on like clockwork for the next few songs. Shy smiles, locked eyes, hesitation permeating through the thick, smoky air. But he won’t hesitate for long. No. He wants to know you, to dance with you, to take you out, maybe show you his ranch. 

   He just has to have you. And he will. You’ll be his by the end of the night.

   After an encouraging slap on the back from Tommy, he takes one more glance your way and hands his tan cowboy hat to Tommy. Right now he only has one task at hand, and that is to ask the pretty girl to dance. So, he swallows all his nerves and walks across the room, right through the sea of endless bodies. 

   Right to you.

—

   Your cheeks burn hot as you lock eyes again; a flirtatious game you’ve been playing for the past two songs. You practically feel on fire with the way your body reacts every time he looks at you. 

   Maybe he’ll ask you to dance. You hope he does because you have a feeling being in those big, strong arms would be like jumping into a freshly made bed after a long day at work. Warm and cozy and made just for you. 

   You bite your bottom lip and laugh as your head drops to the scuffed-up wood, a loose curl falling over your shoulder. How can you already like someone this much when you don’t even know them? Sounds pretty silly, but it gives you tingles in your feet just the same.  

   This is a good sign.

   When you look back up, your heart drops to the floor when you don’t see the handsome man standing across the room anymore. You slide further down in your chair and sigh, letting all the hope fizzle out of your tired body. 

   He left. You just wanted one dance. That’s all you wanted. One fucking dance.

   You sigh quietly and look back out at the spinning bodies on the dance floor, shaking off the growing tears in your eyes. Just when you think one might drop, your body freezes when you hear a husky, deep voice being cleared next to you. When you turn to look at who just interrupted your sulking session, you nearly fall off the barstool.

   It’s him. The man with the pretty brown eyes.

  “Hi.” His deep voice floats through your ears like a dream, and the music seems to disappear altogether.  

   “Uhh—hi,” you stammer out, your mouth agape as you watch a small smile curl against his inviting lips.

   “‘M sorry if this comes off as rude. But what’s a girl like you doin’ sittin’ on the sidelines, darlin’?” His thick Southern accent drawls out, and your eyes immediately widen when you hear how deep and staccato it sounds. You think you could listen to it all night long.

   Darlin’. He called you darlin’.

   Your words fail you, so you just brush off his apology and smile. “Can’t a girl enjoy a drink?”

   He chuckles and shakes his head, a tousled curl falling into his forehead. You want to brush it back for him. That soft looking sandy hair. “Well, sure ya can. Didn’t answer why you’re sittin’ over here by yourself, though.”

   “My friends are dancing,” you shrug, spinning your straw nervously in your drink, letting the liquid slosh around the sides.

   “Now how come a pretty thing like you ain’t out there with ‘em? Hmm?” His thick eyebrows raise in question, and another dreamy smile meets his face. 

   God, he’s so handsome.

   “Oh, I dunno. Was just watching,” you answer nonchalantly, not pointing out the fact that they’re all taken and you’re not.

   He hums to himself, his eyes flicking to the dance floor and back to you after a few seconds. “You wanna dance?” he asks softly, his chocolate eyes sparkling in the hope that you’ll say yes.

   “Huh?” you say off guard, your eyes wide at the question. 

   He just asked you to dance.

   “Do you wanna dance with me?” he asks again, nudging the side of your boot with his own worn leather boot.

   “You’re asking me to dance?” you question.

   “Ain’t that what I asked?” he chuckles, causing your stomach to somersault with the way his infectious laugh is making you feel. All warm and tingly.

   “Oh. I umm—okay,” you smile shyly, looking up through your long eyelashes at him. 

   “Is that a yes, darlin’?” he asks with a big smile.

   “Yes, I’d love to,” you confirm with a nod.

   “Well, c’mon then.” He holds out his open palm, and you don’t hesitate to take it. 

   Warm. He’s so warm. Rough, calloused hands that hold yours perfectly. A match made in heaven.

   He leads you to the middle of the dance floor, careful not to get in the way of any other couples. And then he slowly slips a hand around your waist, the other securely latched to your hand, his fingers laced through yours. And when he starts to lead the dance, you follow right after him.

   The bright lights land over him, putting his beautiful eyes right on display for you. Your breath catches when you see how soft his eyes are. Dark brown like the color of honey and onyx flecks swirling in his irises that hypnotize you to him. He’s absolutely beautiful. You’ve never seen eyes as pretty as his; ones that draw you right in. And the way he’s looking at you, all soft and like he’s looking at the most beautiful girl in the world makes your knees a little wobbly. 

   The neon signs on the walls glow in the distance, the melodic tune of a Scotty McCreery song floats in the background while couples dance around you. Joel leads you around the dance floor, holding you tight and never once stepping on your feet. 

   You scuff your boot over his toes out of nervousness, but he doesn’t say anything about it. He just chuckles and pulls you closer to where you can feel his steady heartbeat against your chest, his brown eyes staring into yours like he’s enamored by you. But he’s got your full attention, and you’re so into him already.

   “What’s your name, sweetheart?” he asks, his Southern drawl completely melting you at the sweet sound. You tell him yours and when your name slips off his tongue, you nearly fall to your knees in awe.

   “And yours? What’s yours, Cowboy?” you ask over the loud couple that whips around you. 

   “Cowboy, huh? Already got a nickname for me, sweetheart?” he chuckles, eyes lighting up at the nickname like he wants you to say it again. And maybe you will.

   “Maybe so,” you giggle, relaxing into the dance as he spins you around in circles, the lights following your movements.

   “The name’s Joel. Joel Miller.” He tips his head and gives you a big smile. You can’t help but giggle every time he smiles at you. It’s like you’re in first grade all over, and Joel’s the new, cute boy that’s caught your attention in class.

   “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Joel.” 

   “Pleasure’s all mine, sweetheart,” he smiles, keeping you close to his warm body. You let out another nervous giggle, and it just makes him smile wider like he’s addicted to your laugh. 

   “I like your laugh, darlin’. Could listen to it all night,” he sighs dreamily, chocolate eyes melting as he looks intensely at you, honing in on just you while the rest of the room disappears. Your breath hitches for just a second, and then you melt right back into him.

   “Well, I like your brown eyes,” you lull, your eyes locked on his pretty pools of honey. You giggle when he blushes, and then a dimple indents into his left cheek when he smiles. And God, you think you just fell in love. 

   “And your smile. I love your pretty smile. It lights up a room, darlin’. And you lit up the whole damn bar tonight,” he drawls, his warm breath fanning over your open mouth, gawking at this handsome gentleman. 

   He’s fucking perfect. 

   He lifts his arm and spins you around in a complete circle, his large hand finding your hip again and pulling you back into his broad chest. And there you are, completely breathless again.

   “So, Cowboy. What made you want to come ask me to dance?” you ask, curiosity circling in your wide eyes.

   “Saw you from across the room, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off you,” he answers honestly with the ghost of a smile on his lips. 

   “Me?” you ask, taken aback. 

   “Yes, you,” he chuckles as he guides you across the polished dance floor.

   “There’s a hundred other girls in here who’ve had their eyes on you all night,” you scoff in a playful way.

   “Oh? Is that so?” An eyebrow lifts in piqued interest, but his eyes still don’t leave yours. They stay glued to you.

   “Mhm,” you hum in confirmation.

   “That means you’ve been watchin’ me too, ain’t that right?” he smirks devilishly, his brown eyes darkening just slightly.

   “No I—no. That’s not…” you stutter, at a loss for words. You were watching him. Ever since you saw him across the room; that damn smile that has your head spinning.

   “S’alright, sweetheart. Wasn’t tryin’ to get you all flustered now,” he chuckles, obviously trying to get you flustered. He doesn’t have to try hard because you’re already overly flustered.

   “I’m not flustered,” you scoff, your cheeks burning hotter with every second his chocolate eyes are on you.

   “No? Well, you’re pretty cute when you’re blushin’, darlin’. Maybe I want you flustered,” he grins, a beautiful smile curling against his plush lips.

   “Careful, Cowboy. You might be the one blushing next,” you tease, narrowing your eyes playfully in response.

   “I’d like to see you try, sweetheart,” he challenges, his eyes growing into a soft syrupy color you want to drown in.

   “Maybe I will, brown eyes,” you say with the flash of a smile.

   “Brown eyes, huh? Kinda like the sound of that.” His pretty eyes are genuine when he says it, like it’s the best thing you’ve said this whole dance. And the pink that marinates around his dark scruff tells you enough. He does like it.

   You smirk in knowing and wink playfully his way, creating a deeper blush on his tanned skin. It makes your heart skip a beat. “Good, now you’re the one blushing.”

   He shakes his tousled curls and sighs, his eyes alight with an enamored glow. “Christ, you’re adorable.”

   “If you say so, Cowboy,” you say, letting him continue the dance even though there’s a new song booming from the overhead speakers.

   He wraps his large hand tighter against your waist, and you let his other gently glide up and down the back of your hand. A caress that’s laced with care.

   “I do say so, sweetheart,” he chuckles warmly. “But you wanna know the real reason why I asked you to dance?”

   You keep your eyes trained on the glow of his and squint carefully. “Tell me.”

   He takes a deep breath and smiles shyly. “The reason I asked you is ‘cause I thought you were the prettiest girl in the room.”

   Your mouth gawks open in shock. He thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the room? Wow. “Me? Are you sure you picked the right girl?” 

   “Yes, you,” he nods, his thumb stroking against your soft skin. An affirmation of what? Care, admiration, love?

   “You think I’m… pretty?” you ask hesitantly, your voice quiet and meek. He can’t think you’re the prettiest girl. There’s no way.

   “Mhm. Gorgeous. And your eyes. Absolutely beautiful, sweetheart. They make the lights in here look dim with how bright yours shine.”

   You stare in amazement at him, eyes as wide as an owl’s gawking at the man with pretty brown eyes who swept you off your feet. You’re falling into places you’ve never been, and you’re quite scared of how many feelings are bubbling up inside you already. But at this moment, you don’t care. All you can do is stare at him affectionately as he spins you around the room.

   He’s perfect. 

   “So, what does a pretty girl like you do for work, sweetheart?” he asks, molton brown eyes glazing into yours, making you audibly gasp how pretty they are.

   “I’m a vet assistant.”

   “Vet assistant, huh? You ever work on cattle, by chance?” His wide brown eyes are full of hope, and a smile tugs at his lips. 

   “Unfortunately no. Just dogs and cats mostly. Why? You got some cattle, Cowboy?” Your eyebrow arches, and a mischievous smirk curls over your mouth.

   He chuckles and nods his head. “As a matter of fact, I do. I own a ranch,” he says proudly, standing a little taller, making your face hurt from smiling so damn much at him. 

   “So you are a Cowboy. I knew it,” you giggle. “What kind of animals do you have?”

   “Tons,” he says, the neon lights glowing over his tousled curls. “Horses, cows, bulls, chickens, sheep, dogs, and the list goes on.”

   “My, my. You got your hands full. Don’t you, Cowboy?” you blush, fluttering your eyelashes flirtatiously up at him. You like him even more now. 

   “Reckon I do,” he chuckles, his thumb tracing light circles against the back of your hand, eliciting goosebumps down your arms. 

   “Too full to handle one more thing?” you question, giving him your best puppy dog eyes that you can manage. 

   He shakes his head and smiles warmly. “If that one thing is you then ‘course not. Got all the room for you, darlin’.”

   Your eyes soften into liquid and your head is spinning as you stare at this beautiful man. You’re already falling head over heels, and you think he is too. 

   “You ever ride a horse before?” he asks, tilting his head like he’s assessing you.

   You shake your head in response. “I mean, when I was little I rode on a pony. But a horse? No. Can’t say that I have.” 

   “You wanna learn? Got a stallion back at home that has your name on the saddle.” His smile is breathtaking, just like his honey-colored eyes. Your heart gallops in your chest like hooves pounding on the ground. He wants to teach you how to ride?

   “You really plan on teaching me?” Your eyebrows pinch together, hesitation stuck on your tongue. 

   He nods, a fleeting smile meeting his beautiful eyes. “Consider it our first date, darlin’. Gonna turn you into a little cowgirl.”

   “Oh, a cowgirl, huh? Is that what I’m going to be?” you giggle flirtatiously, and he picks right back up on it as he winks at you.

   “S’right. My cowgirl.”

   My cowgirl. 

   Your heart gets stuck in your throat, words lodged deep inside. So you do what you can do. Smile and trace your fingertips across his broad shoulder, letting the soft flannel graze against your smooth skin. 

   As the song slows to a halt, you find the opportunity to wrap both of your arms tightly around his neck, nuzzling your face into the soft fabric of his flannel. His arms circle your hips, and one hand gently runs up and down your lower back, sending electricity zapping through your nerve endings. 

   You smell him now. His woodsy cologne, the hint of sweet beer on the tip of his tongue, faint scents of smoke on his collar, the scent of leather in the air. He smells like your favorite scent all mixed together, combined into the perfect formula to get you drunk off him. And you’d gladly get drunk off him. 

   “Lady May” by Tyler Childers plays through the speakers; the slow song sending the mood of the bar into  a romantic, all consuming type of way. Love’s permeating through the air, and you can feel it everywhere. It tingles in your toes, brushes like a breeze through your hair, spirals down the back of your spine, floods your heart with warmth you’ve never felt before, makes your eyes sparkle like starlight through the bright lights, landing right in the palm of Joel.

   Put your toes down in the water. And a smile across your face. And tell me that you love me. Lovely Lady May.

   He pulls you closer, where your chin is tucked against the crook of his neck, his woodsy cologne making you feel a bit dizzy. 

   Now I ain’t the sharpest chisel that your hands have ever held. But, darling, I could love you well.

   Lovely lady May.

   His lips brush over the crown of your head, his fingertips lighting your nerve endings on complete fire, sparks igniting in his caramel eyes. The way he’s looking at you makes you think he’s already in love with you. And maybe you’ve already fallen in love with him, too. 

   As the music slows, he dips you low, not daring to let your back touch the scuffed-up wood. When he pulls you back up, he brings you flush to his broad chest, and his scent is everywhere. 

   His brown eyes sparkle like glitter, shooting stars that only you can make a wish on in the clear night sky. And his smile. My God, you’ve never seen anything as beautiful as him before.

   He gently brushes a loose curl behind your ear, lingering his calloused fingertips down your jawline, ending right under your chin where he stills. The room melts away, the noisy crowd disappearing as the song completely takes a hold of you. 

   But I’m baptized in your name. Lovely Lady May. 

   His thumb slowly traces your bottom lip, leaving invisible marks that’ll stick like permanent ink, branding you as his own. The way he’s staring at you all soft and deeply makes you melt into him even more.

   One more trace, one more shy smile, and he’s asking. “Darlin’?”

   “Yes?” you ask breathlessly.

   “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, his Southern drawl sounding lovestruck and angelic. “And thank you for allowin’ me to dance with the prettiest girl in the room. But there’s jus’ one more thing I’d like to do.” His mouth drops a little lower, and your breath hitches.

   “And what’s that?” you ask, lilting at his soft smile.

   “I’d really like to kiss you…” he breathes, his deep timbre shaky as his brown eyes melt into you.

   You lean up on your tiptoes, blowing your breath over his open lips. “Then kiss me, Cowboy…” you whisper out.

   He cups your face the next second and leans in, crashing his lips down on yours without any hesitation. And he draws you in like a moth to a flame. 

   His lips are soft like velvet, and he tastes like your new favorite flavor. Blue moon, sweet and savory with a hint of smoke and mint marinating on his tongue. 

   And then your lips become his as you fall like rain into his kiss.

   Mint. Blue Moon. Smoke. Velvet. Cedar Wood. Leather.

   He’s all you know now. 

   You stay like that for minutes, connected like webs to each other in the middle of the dance floor as couples swirl in a colorful blur around you. When the two of you finally disconnect from each other’s lips, a big smile curls against his mouth and his pretty brown eyes look like they’re laced with love the longer he looks at you.

   He brushes his thumb against your lower lip and leans in close, his lips tracing the shell of your ear. “You taste like mine, darlin’.”

   And that’s when you fall head over heels for the Cowboy that snatched your heart and made you his own.

   He pulls you in for another dance, and you let him lead you through another song which turns into another and another and another. You lose count. All you know is that you’d dance all night with him if you could. 

   After over an hour of twirling around the dance floor with him, he buys you a drink and leads you over to two barstools. You end up with your legs sprawled over his lap, his fingertips tracing lines over your thighs, his lips brushing over your cheek while he places his cowboy hat on top of your head, claiming you as his own. 

   You end up meeting Joel’s brother, Tommy, and his wife, Maria. And you spend all night laughing and flirting with Joel while you bond over music and shared interests. Turns out you have a lot in common. 

   It’s the way his smile stops your heart and his brown eyes that send your head spinning. It’s the way he calls you his girl and the way he can’t keep his hands off you for even a second. You’ve never been this wrapped up in a guy before, but you’ve never met a handsome gentleman like Joel. A cowboy that won your heart over the second he looked at you. 

   He ends the night by driving you home, walking you up to your door, pulling you against his broad chest as his thumb traces lightly against your skin affectionately. You don’t want to say goodnight.

   “So, pretty girl. How ’bout I pick you up at 4:00 o’clock tomorrow? Can give you your first ridin’ lesson, maybe watch the sunset from the back of my truck. Can tell you how beautiful you look under the stars,” he drawls, his brown eyes sparkling under the moonlight. 

   He has you reeled in, pulling you in like he just lassoed his way into your heart. 

   “Quite the romantic type. Aren’t you, Cowboy?” you blush, lacing your fingers through his tousled curls. 

   “That I am,” he chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist as he pulls you tighter against him. “So, what do ya say, Cowgirl? You gonna let me take you on that date?”

   “Pick me up at 4:00, and I’m all yours.”

   “All mine?” he smiles, his warm breath fanning over your lips.

   “All yours,” you confirm.

   He pulls you in for a slow, romantic kiss, letting it linger as the stars twinkle above your porch. You’re never going to get tired of his kisses, his soft Southern drawl, his big brown eyes. You’re only going to grow more in love with him every day. And you’ll let it grow like a wildfire that consumes you whole. 

   This was only the beginning. The beginning of a perfect summer love that would never fade away. 

Tags for those that were interested: @mountainsandmayhem @alltheirdamn @lotusbxtch @almostfoxglove @burntheedges

@jasminedragoon @inept-the-magnificent @magpiepills @almostempty @aurorawritestoescape

@milla-frenchy @pedrospatch @thundermartini @lanaispunk @sawymredfox @ace-turned-confused

@stylesispunk @there1snothingleft4u @littlevenicebitch69 @tuquoquebrute @ajw-23

[badsalmonella]

SGATGK getting 'er done.👍

TLDR: some neato historical/fantasy drawing references, I like character design would be neat if someone paid me to do that someday, I have to trick myself into being motivated to finish anything like one tricks a dog into taking their meds by putting it in the wet food, tales passed down for centuries are cool.

Why did I do this? : Because I'm obsessed with art books and design bibles and it's what made me want to study animation in the first place. Portfolio pieces like this, this and this were always something I wanted to do, I think they are so inspiring.

Unfortunately you like have to put in a lot of effort to get something like this done, and as I have learned from a semi-failed attempt to do this with Hadestown it is very easy to get too precious about the art and restart 80 times and essentially never get anything done. I'm out here chanting "finished not perfect" to myself in the mirror like a mantra maybe one day it will seep into my bones and I will fully embrace it. Full disclosure, one of the circumstances that led to me actually finishing this is that I have way too much free time on my hands atm, like I don't think I would have gotten this done (or gotten it done in a timely manner) if I was also balancing full time work, but I was tryinggg to squeeze some lemons out of a less than ideal situation. Second thing, on top of trying to do this for 4 years with Hadestown, I alsooo initially tried to do this with the musical Camelot/ the Arthur/Lancelot/Guinevere love triangle part of the Arthurian legends but found I was once again too obsessed with the thing, and getting too precious about the art to get anything substantial done. I did get these Guinevere runaway bride drawings done though. Phillipa Soo high cheekbones Guinevere will always be important to me!!

So I switched gears and chose an Arthurian legend I liked well enough, but not so much I would sike myself out of getting it done and went with Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. It's also a story that adheres to a pretty traditional fable structure. A young guy goes on a quest, he experiences trials in threes, he comes back a little changed having learned a life lesson, etc. Also designing The Green Knight comes with a fun 'cool' factor that I like. The Arthurian discord server run by queer-ragnelle on tumblr is full of really nice, and wayyyy more knowledgeable people who pointed me in the direction of Simon Armitage's translations of the poem so that's what I read to get started. Another great resource I liked was Queer as Fact's podcast episode on the story. Something that I found really interesting was that they discussed Gawain's kissing game with the Bertilak's being something that brought on both queer positive and queerness as a sort of cautionary tale that was encouraged to be turned away from interpretations*. Interesting that you could take away two opposite readings from the same text, but also really framed the experience of staying with the Bertilaks as something that is otherworldly and treading into unknown territory for Gawain.

*I wanna add that 1. just because I acknowledge the two conflicting interpretations doesn't mean that I think one cancels out the other's validity 2. Just because I acknowledge it doesn't mean that it's one that I like or agree with. Obviously these stories are so old we can't ask the author what intent they were writing with so we'll never get 'the right answer', all we really have is interpretation. So like why not interpret something positive out of it, especially if you can back it up with the text.

I got pretty tired of using Google images for research, and actually went to the library for most of my drawing reference. This was also good because it got me out of the house yay! It made me feel like those movie behind the scenes featurettes I love, where people go on their little research trips, like OoooO I'm making the fake movie in my brain!! I unfortunately never wrote down the titles of these books I was using but there were some great illustrated book of clothing worn throughout history. I wanted to keep Gawain, and the design of Camelot fairly close to something historical.

I loved this book especially because all the art was so colourful. I think a lot of people have this idea that medieval costuming should be dull/dark colours but I definitely didn't want to go in that direction. I love bright colours!

I really took inspiration from this illustration I found for Gawain, even though people typically associate medieval knights with full plate armour, in the story Gawain is going on a lengthy journey to find the green chapel, then accept his beheading so I actually felt something lighter like this chainmail outfit with robe on top was the way to go to make him feel mobile. Also Gawain really lays on the self deprecating sauce thick when he volunteers himself up to participate in the Green Knight's game, claiming he is of no great importance, he's just a little guy, it's not a big risk if he gets hurt. (that's not a direct quote. That just the vibe) So I also snuck in the small detail that his clothing is a little oversized, not quite arranged straight, but he grows into it by the end of the tale :3

I also used designing Gawain as the chance to lock down what artstyle I wanted to move forward with. My brain told me 'oohhh storybook!' but go into a bookstore and give it a peruse and you will quickly find there is a wide array of storybook artstyles. So that was not specific enough. I tried simplifying my art style, I liked Cartoon Saloon's stuff (good catch everyone who commented on it's influence in the post's tags) but felt it was a little too simplified and stylized for what I wanted to do. The big lightbulb moment for me was when I found this art by an-old-lady on tumblr. I really like how this artist's work is pretty stylized but sticks close to recognizable human proportions. So I put this one my inspiration board, while still trying to keep it distinctly mine. not really my call to say if I succeeded at this or not lol

But yes Cartoon Saloon's influence is still there, especially with backgrounds,

and I also really loved looking towards the art of Sleeping Beauty. Really amazing use of colour in this art, also the way they simplify nature into easy to read shapes, then pack in all the detail there is something I loved.

me doing my best to harness that Disney concept art power

(Side note one books I can name from all this research is this one because I would like to own it some day. Fantastic resource for not only showing the classic art and architecture they are taking reference from, but how you can apply that to something a lot more cartoony and simplified. Seriously the side by side comparisons of medieval book artwork next to their Sleeping Beauty storybook scenes are masterclass mwah)

From there something I really wanted to drive home was this contrast between Gawain's world and Lord Bertilak/Green Knight's world. The Green Knight comes with lengthy descriptions about his odd (but hot *wink*) appearance, and there is definitely an aura that something unknown has entered King Arthur's court. While I tried to find inspiration for Gawain's armour from old artwork, Green Knight's outfit I was looking more to fantasy influences like Lord of the Rings, House of the Dragon, Renaissance Faire costumes, etc.

When you look up medieval fashion you get a lot of reference for these crazy cool headpieces

Lots of head coverings too for women (lots of it done for modesty reasons. Also a little bit for hygiene reasons) so I kept that consistent with the women of Camelot

Also even though a lot of medieval media associates the revealed shoulders and the sleeves with interesting cutouts with woman's fashion at the time, a lot of actual historical imagery I was finding has a full coverage layer underneath known as the kirtle (mostly for hygiene purposes......though I'm sure modesty is also a factor)

( Alicent where is your underlayer?? Cringe.)

But for Lady Bertilak I went full medieval fantasy and whipped out those sleeves that I always associate with princesses and gave her long flowing hair. Also interestingly I remember the story once emphasising her ~flirtatiously~ revealed shoulders. I wonder if that was a fashion choice still made back then, or if this is fantasy detailing, sort of like how the trash doctor drama TV show Doctor Odyssey will have doctors doing work on patients in full cocktail party attire a decision that is not based on any sort of reality but maybe hundreds of years from now if the media is preserved humans might assume that was how the doctors of our day dressed. HM!

Lord Bertilak actually gave me a hard time with his look. I went in really only knowing I wanted to give him that Hozier inspired bun hairstyle. My reasoning being that like Lord Bertilak loves going hunting he's a kind of man of the woods.....but he's also supposed to be this hot Lord who is making Gawain question if he wants to join a very unchristian open marriage and when I think of man of the woods but make it glam I think of this dude

but other than that I had no ideas on how to approach this 'same shape as the Green Knight but make him more warm and approachable' look I was trying to achieve, so I just made lots of sketches that got trashed pretty quickly. Also at the time I didn't know what colour scheme I wanted for these two yet, only that I wanted green as an accent colour to hint at his true identity (also because plot relevant green girdle) but not the MAIN COLOUR of their colour scheme. So anyways that's how you get this funny drawing of Lord Bertilak looking very Curious George's Yellow Guy vibes.

Then it hit me in the most unexpected of places....

You're probably wondering "hey there is literally a fantasy historical King Arthur musical you are OBSESSED WITH why are you not turning to that for inspiration?" or maybe "why would you reference House of the Dragon earlier but not the much more famous Game of Thrones?" and the answer there is as cool as those costumes are they are taking a LOT of inspiration from modern runway fashion and that just wasn't the vibe I was looking for. But then one day as I played the Camelot bootleg as comfort background noise (normal behaviour) I found inspiration from THE UNDERRATED FASHION ICON SIR PELLINORE!

I just really loved the long sleeveless drapery situation he had going on. I added the fur along the neckline for Lord Bertie though to make him more top heavy (like his Green Knight counterpart) and as a nod to hunting. but yes big props to Pellinore. ty king!

The contrasting shape language I used in the character design then informed all the extra prop details surrounding these characters.

But to keep things consistent I tried to keep some similar design principles for costumes. They like drapery. They like big sleeve moments. Bold colours. Girdles to break up dress forms. Tunics that generally fall close to knees in length.

I think the coolest bit of research I did was I visited a church in my city and got some good pictures as reference for the green chapel. In the poem the green chapel really ends up being a grass mound but that's not really an impressive drawing to put in your portfolio so I got the idea to have a chapel so old that nature has overtaken it and there's a structure in this hill. The church is open to just look through for free without attending a mass, it's a bit of a tourist destination for good reason it's really well kept, I'd been telling myself to go check it out for years of living here now but this project was what got me to finally do it.

I sketched some random object in there (this can be helpful even if you don't draw these things in your actual project just because it fills up your design bank in your brain) I also wish I took this picture but they had what looked like one of those office water coolers but it was labelled 'Holy Water' and I just thought that was funny. Sorry just wanted to share.

and I am HORRIBLE at drawing backgrounds, I really hate doing it, I find placing the horizon line/ vanishing points incredibly hard to do, so if you are like me but you wanna push yourself TAKE YOUR OWN PICTURES OF PLACES. AND TRACE OVER THEM. THEN ADD WHATEVER CHANGES NEEDED. IT'S NOT CHEATING I PROMISE. YOU CAN LITERALLY DO ANYTHING YOU WANT EVER IT IS NOT THE SAME AS PLAGIARIZING OR TRACING ANOTHER PERSON'S ART AND IT WILL SAVE YOU HEARTACHE. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Anyways this has been my incredibly long advertisement for your local library, your local tourist spots, cool art books, cool cartoons, The Green Knight poem, the kirtle, to try your best to make the art you wanna make because it will fill your heart with joy. Don't be precious about your art in a design project, just sketch like your life is ending in the next couple of hours, it's cool if you draw something like this

There's definitely stuff I wish I had drawn, more props, something more to indicate Lord Bertilak's hunts (I also suck at drawing animals oop) and maybe those things will be drawn in the future, but I am happy to call this done for the time being :)

Did you get this far? Well thanks. ilu 🫶🏼

[sprout-writes-stuff]

Inspired by @henderdads fic. A little thing that entered my brain fully formed and had to come out. (if I did anything wrong here let me know and I'll take it down)

It's not exactly what Steve thought he'd be doing on a friday night, he and Robin have their laptops open doing a personality quiz that the school heavily encouraged them to take.

He highly doubts a few questions (okay so there's at least 50, whatever) will tell him anything about himself that he didn't already know but Robin insisted they do it together. The part that actually interests Steve is they'll get a list of the ten people they're most compatible with, it'll even say whether that's in a romantic way or not. The last question asks about their preference (Men/Women/Any/None).

Early sunday morning Steve is lying in bed scrolling his emails and it's there! The results. He skims over all the stuff about him (he'll make a great parent someday, blah blah blah, maybe he'll read it properly later) until he finds the list. Unsurprisingly, Robin is at the top with 98.2% but the second... What? No way?

He video calls Robin immediately, it actually takes three tries to wake her up.

"Steve? It's," she looks up to the time on her phone, "7:18. Why? It's sunday."

"The email, Robin, it's here." He watches her face as she tries to understand what's happening, barely containing his amusement at that, and then waits as she checks hers.

"Aww we're compatible Stevie," she says with a silly, overly sweet smile, "like we didn't know that already. Who'd you get first with a heart?"

Steve now has his open on his laptop, staring at the little pink heart next the name second on his list.

"Steve?"

"It's... I mean, it can't be right."

"Why not? It got us didn't it?"

"It's Eddie Munson. 97.6%." The rest are all mid 80s or lower and might as well be zero for all Steve cares about them right now. Robin's jaw drops.

"He doesn't exactly seem the type to even take the quiz," she says, "you have to talk to him tomorrow."

"I don't know anything about him."

"Well you've got all the time in the world to find out."

He doesn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.

He sees Eddie's van pull into the parking lot and Robin pushes him towards it before the engine is even off.

"Can I talk to you?" he asks as soon as the door is open. "Privately?"

"Alright," Eddie says, confusion on his face as he follows Steve away from everyone else. "What's this about Harrington?"

"The quiz? The other night?" Did Eddie think Steve was just going to leave it?

"Oh, that's in already?" He digs his phone out of his pocket. He doesn't know.

Steve watches him read, getting more and more nervous as he gets closer to the end. Eddie looks up at him in shock. All Steve can do is nod.

"And the... heart? That's not a mistake?" He's kind of breathless.

"Huh?"

"Like, you could have accidentally checked men instead of women and that's what you came to tell me."

"Oh," Steve says with a giggle, "no, I'm bi."

The nervous energy from a few minutes ago is turning into bubbling excitement as they stare at each other, both with tentative, hopeful smiles.

"I don't know about you but I really wanna kiss you." Steve says, stepping closer. Eddie bridges the gap and their lips meet. Before they can get too into it, the school bell rings and they have to start heading to class.

"Can't believe we got each other at the top of our lists," Eddie says knocking his shoulder into Steve's.

"Hate to break it to you but you're number two on mine," Steve replies with a grin. Eddie stops walking for a few seconds and has to jog to catch up.

"Oh, of course, Buckley right?"

Steve nods, still grinning. "See you after class?" he asks when they get to his room.

"Definitely." Eddie kisses him again, a peck this time. Steve watches him leave and marvels at the fact a stupid piece of homework may have just changed his life forever.

[tammyjackson50-blog]

Someday love will find you|E.M

(gif is not mine!)

Not really a summery :

Inspired by the song Separate Ways by Journey.

//includes: break up, maybe there will be a good ending.

-I think that writing one shots inspired by songs is pretty cool.

Next part ->

________________

Breaking up with someone can be difficult, but breaking up with someone you still love and care about is even more difficult.

We both knew that it was going to happen, but we tried to ignore it, convincing ourselves that it was just a matter of time before things will get better.

And they almost did, but it was too late.

" So... are we sure about this? " he asked looking at his hands,

" I think... that we are sure " Like him, I was staring down at my hands...

" You think? well, I guess that we are still not sure " .

We were sitting next to each other on the sofa, our hips almost touching.

His hands were on his legs, I noticed that he wanted to touch my hands, but he was hesitant.

There was silence for a while until I felt him looking in my direction.

" You know that we can still try- " I interrupted him and looked into his almost-crying eyes.

" Eddie, we tried, you know that we did ,but we can't keep doing it.

I can't keep doing it anymore " feeling that my eyes were getting watery " Sweety, I- I've already told you that I don't mind leaving the band- "

" No, NO Eddie - you got up from the couch. I'm not going to let you give up on your dream because of me, there is no freaking way. "

" Babe, you don't undrstand? - He also got up from the couch and approached you.

" My dream is for you to be a part of my life, without you, none of my dreams would come true. "

I could feel him getting closer… I knew that as soon as I looked into his eyes, I would just burst into tears.

" I would not be where I am today if you hadn't encouraged me to get my lazy ass up go to the auditions, so please Y/n, my love... let's think about something , let's try this again ".

my love.... how am I supposed to live without this man….

" Eds... you know that I love you, right? and I will always will.

But look, we tried it, and you can see that a long-distance relationship isn't working for us!

We hardly see each other since you are constantly touring with the boys and I am working and trying to earn money for my studies.

We don't even have time to make a quick phone call!

And I know that you are busier than me, and that's why it's hard.

I'm not blaming you, but I can't… I miss you so much that it makes me sad that I can't even ask how you're doing. "

He had such a tired eyes.... " Y\n ,we have been together for four years, since we were twenty, do you think that it's easy for me?

to not be able to see your pretty face? heck, to not even hear you sweet voice.

you know... I know that it's not the right time to say it, but I..... shit "

He sat back down on the couch.

"I even bought you a ring two months ago…but I couldn't propose to you because of the new tour…I wanted it to be special…I didn't want to propose for a split second and then leave for another couple months.

I wanted to wait until the tour is over, just to have few months of just been at home with you before starting working on music again." He wants to propose to me? I- my heart is....

" But things didn't go as planned... I understand where you are coming from my lov- sigh Y\n, tell me you truly mean it,

and I won't bother you again.

Do you want to break up? "

With all of that information… my head was all over the place.

God only knows how badly I want Eddie to be my husband.

only god knows how much I love him.

But…. maybe now that he's ready to let go…. let me go… it'll be best for the two of us.

" I want us to break up "

there, I said it, here we are looking at each other, tears in our eyes.

here we stand, Worlds apart,our hearts broken in two.

" Okay , I undratand, I'll pack my stuff and.... and we will talk later..guess.. Y/n, just know that...

I still love you "

With that,he turned and walked out of the living room.

the same place where we enjoyed many good times together, such as watching television, dancing with each other,falling asleep on the couch while hugging each other…

the same place that i'll be alone in from now on…

~~~

" Feeling that it's gone

Can't change your mind

If we can't go on

To survive the tide

Love divides

Someday love will find you

Break those chains that bind you

One night will remind you

How we touched and went our separate ways

If he ever hurts you

True love won't desert youYou know I still love you

Though we touched and went our separate ways"

-

The song is about a couple who have to separate and go their own ways, even though they still care for each other. The song expresses feelings of love, longing and sorrow, as the couple must confront the reality of their situation. The song's lyrics reflect the changing emotions that accompany the process of moving on from a beloved relationship, from the initial confusion and sadness to the recognition of a new beginning and the hope for future love. Ultimately, the song is about finding strength to move forward with understanding and acceptance.

Hope that you like it! Because idk if I did, haha.

I just thought about the song and started writing it without any ideas.

took me almost three hours holy shit lol.

It's almost 4 in the morning 🙃

would you like me to write another part?

[moorishflower]

66 for Sprout wings, 72, and 74 💛💛

For the fanfiction writing asks meme

What’s a fun fact about Maybe sprout wings?

It almost didn't get written at all! I wrote the very first scene with an extremely clear image of where I wanted to go with the fic, but...almost no idea how to get there. That's why the first chapter is so tonally different from the rest of it (and maybe someday I'll go back and rewrite it, now that I feel a lot more confident in my writing abilities in general lol). Maybe sprout wings owes its existence to @fishfingersandscarves, who provided a lot of encouragement and support over it, and kept my interest focused on it, and them prodding me about it is what gave me the inspiration I needed to connect the loose ends I was having trouble with. :)

A more fact-based fact: I read the entire Odyssey I believe 3 full times in the course of writing that fic, not to mention how many individual scenes I read over and over, and how many summaries and prose adaptations of scenes I read in order to get a better sense of what was actually going on, lol.

What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

I think any of the compliments where people express any strong emotional response as some of my favorites. I've gotten a number that tell me a fic made them cry, and that's always a very powerful thing, to be able to prompt that level of emotion. There are two that really stand out to me though. One was a comment on Ab instrumento ad corpus, which was on the surface my excuse to try and write fisting, and which turned, in part, into a 27k exploration of feelings, queer history, and kink exploration. I got a comment from a reader who said they were turning 71 this year, and who said that it was only in the last 15 years or so that they had come to understand their own queerness, but that they had been there in the 70s and 80s and 90s and had had gay and lesbian and trans friends, and that seeing their history in my fic had made them tear up, and how important it was to remember. Queer history and especially queer elders are super important to me. It wasn't that long ago there was a time when we simply didn't HAVE queer elders. They were all dead. And now we do! I went to Pride in NYC, and I saw SO SO MANY queer elders! People who narrowly missed the horrors of Reagan's presidency, who snuck or fought their way through, who survived. It made me cry. This comment still makes me cry, rereading it now.

The second comment was one on Beautiful, Strange and New, where a reader described their husband's struggles with depression and how they thought a line from the fic had helped them to connect to him during a very difficult time, and to feel more hopeful, and just...so I've struggled with depression almost all my life, and this fic very much was my love-letter to my own recovery, and coming to terms with the fact that there's never any CURING depression. There's only taking tiny steps forward, even when you slide back three steps on the way, because the alternative is giving up and then the depression, that bastard, wins. And it was really important to me, in BSN, that there wasn't some grand thing that made Morpheus better, he wasn't "cured" because Hob and Daniel loved him. He ends the fic no longer wanting to kill himself, but ADMITS that there are still bad days. That things aren't perfect. That his body is not perfect, that he hurts sometimes, that there will be days he spends in bed and doesn't want to leave because sleeping seems easier. But. BUT. There are birds singing, and kids playing in the park, and maybe next year they'll find the cure for cancer, and we won't know unless we keep going as long as we can. And to see that something I'd written had had some impact on someone like me, had offered some sort of comfort, had given someone the words they needed to help someone like me, that was...that was really powerful. I had to sit with that one for a really long time.

Do you have a fic you wish got a bit more love?

I mean, I think Wings just because it's my baby but I understand that it's not everyone's cup of tea. XD I don't know! I think everything I've written has gotten a good amount of attention. Definitely more than I ever expect each time. I think Here there be dragons, which is part of the Siren!Dream universe, is one of the more interesting settings and concepts I've written, and that the tags might scare some people off, but it's not that difficult to understand, I promise! And then I think the long way down, which was my first try at writing angst that I actually PERCEIVED as angst, was a major milestone for me. But for the most part I think fics are going to get the love that they get based on what people want to read, and I have to come to terms with the fact that sometimes what I want to write isn't the same as what people are interested in (see: Wolf and I, my extremely niche Dream-as-sentient-wolf smut fic, which was written for me and only me lol).

[idontblushsrry]

Love Language|| Jujutsu Kaisen

“I wanna be fluent in your love language. Learning your love language.” 

A/N: If you didn’t guess from the tagline this is inspired by the song love language by Kehlani. I’ll probably do more of these with different shows and what not because why not. If I missed anyone lmk and I can make a part 2. Also please tag spoilers appropriately esp for manga readers, that being said spoilers for the prequel? manga on Yuuta’s part.

Characters: Itadori, Fushiguro, Kugisaki, Maki, Inumaki, Okkotsu, Gojo, Nanami, Sukuna

Warnings: said it b4 but spoiler warnings in general but esp on Yuuji, Yuuta, and Maki’s parts

Plot synopsis: The 5 love languages; physical affection, quality time, words of affirmation, gift giving and acts of service, and how each jujutsu kaisen character shows their love and affection for you. Ft. a gender neutral reader!

Word count: 2352

Itadori Yuuji

Love Language: Quality time and physical affection

Ok listen-

So for physical affection, Yuuji’s just that kind of person

He is all about giving to you

He’s holding hands with you if you’re ever walking anywhere, and if you’re not a hand holder pls pls pls let him hold your pinky he likes the reassurance

No but seriously he loves to hold you like yall could be walking in completely opposite directions and he’ll try to find some way to hold onto you until the very last second

And even then he’s all ‘:( babe imy’

‘Yuuji we just talked 2 minutes ago’

Another way he shows his love is through quality time

I think for him this is the biggest thing overall, esp as a jujutsu sorcerer bcus you never know yk but also because you’re important to him

Like remember how he literally went to occult club so that he could get out of school in time to go visit his grandpa...ye :(

He also loves finding dumb touristy things to do with you while in Tokyo or anywhere yall go together on a mission 

If you get together before he died and came back then that time he had to spend away from you literally killed him

Like my mans was goin THROUGH it

He almost considered spoiling Gojo’s secret

When he sees you again, he’s not gonna let go for like a solid day

Fushiguro Megumi

Love Language: acts of service and words of affirmation

This boy loves you so much

He loves to tell you all the things he loves about you when you’re alone

But he’s a little awkward with his words sometimes, hence where acts of service come in

He’ll immediately offer to hold your things, run to help you train or study, and if you’re cold? He’s fully prepared to never see his jacket again

Also he can’t cook but he’s fully prepared to suffer hearing Sukuna and suffering through Yuuji’s antics if it means he can learn how to make your favorite food

He also will surprise you by making you a playlist of all the songs that you’ve had stuck in your head and sends it to you randomly out of the blue one day like ‘thought you might like this’

However the best of both worlds is when he leaves you little notes throughout the day or sends you texts asking if you need anything or just encouraging you to keep going 

Negl he’s lowkey the president of the Y/N support club bcus-

You need anything? It’s yours

Cravings? Sad? Angry? What do you need bby, I’ve got it for you

Also he’s totally the type to be like you need help fuckin this person up? 

Also before yall started dating, Fushiguro was a mess

He was constantly asking to spar with you and go on missions, basically anything he could do to be near you  

End of the day, Fushiguro loves you and makes sure you know it whether it’s through his actions or his words

Kugisaki Nobara

Love Language: physical affection

So, she’s not the best with words, she tries but like someone help her bcus she is LOST

Like when she had a crush on you she was like “c’mere dumbass i wanna give you a hug”

In fact, she still is like “c’mere” but now you are dating :)

She loves you though and at first she doesn’t really know how to show it 

But one day you both come home from training and you just look at each other like ‘yeah today sucks’ and yall both just held each other for the rest of the day 

After that, she decided that she wants to do that with you but like always

She’s holding your hand, kissing your cheek when you go shopping, etc. etc.

She really loves to cling to you because she always has this fear that maybe one day you’ll get killed or just disappear so she figures might as well hold onto you for as long as we’ve got

After missions, she’s running up to you and if you aren’t prepared for the tackle, you’re probably gonna fall

On dates too, like if you guys have to meet up for a date, she’s tackling you

On the subject of dates...

She doesn’t mind PDA, and while she might hold your hand or arm so that you don’t get separated

She also doesn’t mind wiping food off your face and eating it, only to then kiss the spot on your face the food was previously at

She will split her shopping load between the two of you, however she will be slightly pouty if she’s carrying more than you (she then cheers up when she realizes she can do more shopping to “balance” the two of you)

In private she’s very cuddly and kissy which honestly isn’t that bad until it gets hot

At which point she’ll just say turn on the ac or convince you to walk around in a tank top (or something like it) so that she can continue holding you

Tbh she prefers the big spoon, but if she’s ever upset you let her be the little spoon >:(

All in all a very loving girlfriend who tries her best to show how much she loves you by glomping you at any given moment. 

Zenin Maki

Love language: acts of service and quality time

So you’re telling me that Maki wouldn’t immediately go out of her way to make sure her and her s/o can spend as much time together as possible?????

Like she’s super observant (which can cause her to be a bit harsh, see Yuuta) but she can always tell what’s bothering you

So if you’re upset that you haven’t been spending enough time together due to her being out on missions or otherwise busy she’s immediately running to finish her stuff and spend time with you.

((She’s very sorry, but on the bright side she brought your favorites!))

Maki is also an acts of service type

This mostly ties in with her kind of direct action way of thinking

She thinks she’s slick but you can always see her sneaking around to do small things like grabbing your laundry for you and folding it

She’s very much like if you love someone, you gotta prove it

Overall, dates with her are very intimate and personal to the two of you

Like she’ll take you to a frog pond you landed in during a fight once

Or you’ll take her to a street fair that serves this exclusive food that Maki mentioned wanting to try 

However, Maki shows her love through quality time and acts of service and while she does receive love from these to a degree, she is very much a words of affirmation gal

She’s not insecure in her day to day life but she has her moments, everyone does

Sometimes, she’ll feel like shit and a failure and all she wants is for you to say that she’s doing amazing and that she’s a great girlfriend.

Inumaki Toge

Love language: Physical affection

Because of his curse, he can’t exactly express how he feels about you through words

He does text you frequently throughout the day (I’ll have to do a hc abt that someday)

But he’d prefer not to be on his phone to communicate if you’re right in front of him

So he does the next best thing and just smothers you in physical affection

He loves kissing you the most

Like he could spend hours just kissing you if you let him (please let him)

But in public, he gets if you’re not a big fan of pda he’s willing to tone it down as long as he gets kisses later in private

He’d still prefer it if you held his hand or linked pinkies maintaining touch in some way

Also, unrelated, but it means so much to him if you try to understand his sushi language

He knows realistically the foundation of any relationship is communication so already he’s at a disadvantage because of his curse 

But if he sees you like take notes after he says something or start to need him to text you to translate, his heart is swelling

Like ‘omg this person loves me enough to learn a whole new language <333′

Another tangent but before you were together he was struggling so muchhhh

Like how does one express their feelings for someone without words?

If you’re Inumaki, you buy some flowers and text said person to meet you at a cafe

It took an embarrassingly long time for you to realize it was a date, but once you did, you ever so gently linked pinkies with Toge

Okkotsu Yuuta

Love language: words. of. affirmation. 

He’s literally so sensitive please tell him you love him regularly

In return he’ll be sure to tell you how much he loves you too

He knows that he can’t really be there for you as much as he’d like but he likes to let you know that he’s thinking of you

Doesn’t matter the time, if you call, he’s answering

If he doesn’t he’ll cry he’ll immediately call you back and is apologizing for missing your call

You assure him it’s no big deal but the man has his volume turned all the way up and changed your ringtone to one specific for you by the time you’ve even said hey

Aside from that, he really is sensitive

He’s been through a lot especially with Rika as well as growing up alone and bullied 

So for him, it’s everything to hear that you like having him around and don’t think he’s too much or anything like that

Of course, he gets better with time, trusting you and having the confidence in himself to not need constant assurance

That being said, if you ever just whisper in his ear, “I love you, Yuuta.”

That’s not your boyfriend, that’s a puddle of love on the floor

(Maki, Panda, and Inumaki had a field day when they saw him, Fushiguro now questions if Yuuta really is a respectable 2nd year.)

Gojo Satoru

Love language: gift giving and quality time

So Gojo doesn’t exactly get to spend a ton of time

Between missions, him beefing with higher ups, and you and him playing parent the baby sorcerers yall don’t exactly get time to go out much

In which case Gojo tends to default to two options:

He’ll either go the extra mile to try and spend time with you 

Whether that be an at home date where he tries and fails to surprise you with a home cooked meal

Or a date out at a restaurant or cafe (which you tend to visit after his home cooking efforts)

OR he’ll bring you various souvenirs from his missions

He loves to spoil you, and if he could he’d probably bring you back a whole store’s worth of stuff

But alas, airport security regulations

Anyways, he loves to spoil you especially if he can spoil you with sweets because it benefits him in two ways 

He treasures all the time you spend together, and he does try to overcompensate for his absence with gifts

Despite your assurances, it’s kind of a guilty pleasure at this point (just let him, trying to argue just goads him on further)

He doesn’t only buy you small things, he enjoys buying you outfits

And he especially likes seeing you in them 

Kento Nanami

Love Language: acts of service

Y’all remember the episode where he killed that curse that was bothering that baker lady?? Yea that

He’s literally such an acts of service boyfriend it’s not even funny

Before you got together, he would memorize your coffee order and bring you a cup pretty much everyday like clockwork

Now that you’re togehter, he wakes up before you so h=that when you wake up there’s the smell of coffee throughout the house

When you come out of you’re shared bedroom and he’s just scrooling through his phone like “mornin’”

Of course you already made the bed and ironed his clothes because relationships are give and take

And then when you leave for your jobs in the morning, he kisses you and holds the door open for you

He’ll draw a bath for you if he gets home before you, if you let him join or not is up to you

Also, if you ever get sick, he’s actually the best

Like he isn’t the best cook but he can heat up soup and tea

He’ll run to the store while you’re asleep and when you wake up, there’s like a whole tray of food in front of you and he’s like ‘it’s important to eat and drink so your body can heal’

And when you inevitably fall asleep after eating and taking medicine at his insistence, he tucks you in and clears away the dishes, exiting with little more than a kiss to your head

Ryoumen Sukuna

Love Language: gift giving and acts of service

So like Sukuna never says he loves you...ever

But he does notice if someone or something’s making you uncomfortable, and if so, said entity’s head will be presented to you later that day

You also just so happen to be the only person he can tolerate being around him for longer than 20 seconds

He also loves to give you jewelry, he likes seeing you adorned in something from him

He also isn’t gonna just handle all your problems for you, he will push you to become stronger by training with you 

He’ll also expect this energy to be reciprocated, as long as you’re pushing yourself to be better, he’s content with that

(He wants to see you grow because he’s scared that if he ever gets caught lackin one day you’ll end up dead)

He’ll never tell you or admit it, but Sukuna truly does care for you and hold you in a regard that he doesn’t have for others

So be grateful jkjk

[alatusxiaoo]

until you

content: minor angst, beginning again

character/s: albedo

note: i finally found inspiration!!! this one was a little confusing and difficult for me to write because it encouraged me to try to relate my past experience with what i knew about love and put it into words. i can’t really say much except that sometimes the memories still haunt you, which happens to me nowadays even though it’s been a long time ago. we think we’re brave enough to face it but sometimes it’s still kind of scary. i don’t know if anyone else could relate to this, but if you do, i hope it gets better for all of us someday <33 it’s a long and terrifying ride back to the past, but maybe we’ll all learn how to brave these dark thunderstorms soon enough.

part one is here!

ALBEDO

Albedo had unconsciously been waiting for this day for his entire life.

“Will you marry me?”

Accomplishing countless brilliant achievements in the world of alchemy, receiving recognition as a being on par with some of Sumeru’s greatest scholars, refining the entirety of Teyvat with his innovative and creative proposals that centered around a concept to ameliorate on what already exists among life - none of these have mattered as much as this present moment that began to unfold in front of his very eyes.

“No.”

And so, it was only fair that this simple yet powerful word would bear enough weight to crush his long nurtured hopes and expectations - to send his world spiraling into a disarray of fear and confusion.

“Oh.”

Much to his chagrin, this obviously wasn’t a response the great and renowned alchemist had been expecting.

Was it something he had done, something he had said? Hearing such a vile response tumble down your lips, almost as if the past few years of jubilation and endless promises (now to remain forever unfulfilled) shared between you two, had been reduced to oblivion in an instant - it was certainly a puzzling anomaly that even Albedo, who constantly prided himself in his intelligence of the world and the life breathed into it, couldn’t seem to figure out.

“Y/N?”

It has already been years since the unfortunate outcome of this past event had last occurred, and Albedo was more than certain he had already moved on and continued to stride forward in his search for the truth of the world.

And yet, it feels like the hands on the clock of time hadn’t really moved until you’re here standing right in front of him - sauntering back into his life without warning, permission or purposeful intention to do so.

“Oh…it’s been a while.”

You were hoping you wouldn’t have to run into him for a little longer.

The only reason you had returned to Mondstadt was because your close friend, Diluc, was already engaged and invited you to celebrate with him. Needless to say, refusal was not an option in the situation (especially considering the crucial fact that the Darknight Hero was never one to hold celebrations even with the most trivial of things - this opportunity may have been the only chance the gods had gifted to you to encounter this hidden side of him), and you had forced yourself to trudge all the way from your comfortable residence left behind in Liyue, back to the City of Freedom.

You slumped on towering walls of stone, taking a deep and shaky breath as your dragged your baggage on the ground without a care. The journey was a tedious and dreadful one, leaving you with a couple of scratches and disheveled hair as a souvenir from it, and you were more than delightful that it had finally ended. You glanced up at the open gates with triumph, the familiar scent of dandelions wafting through your nose as the bustling establishments and sounds of life and laughter echoed throughout the distant evening.

Your legs lead you before you can even think, guiding you along one of the intimate paths you repeatedly took during your time spent in the nation. The world pauses for your convenience, and you bask in the nostalgic warmth that emitted from the city that you once called home.

Though the memories that came to mind weren’t always the fondest ones, you couldn’t deny the veracious fact that this was your homeland - a safe sanctuary in the ever changing and mysterious Teyvat.

You eventually arrive at the acquainted tavern, Angel’s Share, and hoist your bag onto your shoulder while swiftly fixing your hair and clothes as neatly as you could to at look presentable, before heading inside the lively pub. The blinding lights and faint stench of alcohol reeked around the wooden room, and you find a mop of red hair stationed behind the counter, unaware of your presence inside the area.

You smile before heading over and setting your bag on one of the wooden stools, the low sound catching his attention.

“What would you like to order?” He asks in a tone laced with boredom, his back still facing you and never meeting your friendly gaze.

“I came all the way here from Liyue, and that’s the greeting I receive?”

You see his ears perk up and he turns around, eyes widening at the sight of your cheeky grin.

“Hey. Congrats on the engagement.”

“You..really came.”

“I’m disappointed you thought I wouldn’t.” You reply, feigning sadness as you placed your hand on your chest. “I’m not that bad of a friend, you know.”

“It’s not that.” Diluc says, shaking his head. “I just thought you wouldn’t because of…”

You nod in understanding.

“Well, to be honest…I was a bit skeptical when I received your letter.” You confess, avoiding his inquisitive and piercing gaze. “I haven’t been in Mondstadt for years, and your request felt a little too…sudden. Even though it’s been a long time.” You say, nervously fiddling with your fingers.

“Merely being present at this tavern, sitting here and wondering if something might go terribly wrong while I’m around…it scares me.”

“So why did you come back?”

Why did you come back?

Perhaps it was because you missed the nation itself. Perhaps it was truly because of the engagement and you wanted to indulge in celebration with an old friend. Perhaps the memories of leaving a certain alchemist still haunts your dreams and constantly lingers at the back of your mind like an itch - cursed to remember too much for the rest of your life, sometimes you wished you would just forget.

“I don’t know.” You sheepishly admit. “Life’s too short to be afraid. I mean…if we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives, right?”

Was that why you ran when Albedo got down on one knee? Because you decided you wouldn’t be good enough, and figured there would never come a time when you forgot about those disgusting titles that once brought you down? Because you knew you would never be ready to accept that those simple yet cruel words were incapable of bringing the end of your world?

Whatever it was, you weren’t ready. You only came because of an invitation. And now you were stuck waiting for the rest of your life.

“…thank you.” He breathes after a brief second of contemplation at your words. “I…was a bit worried you wouldn’t come. But I’m glad you’re here and that I was wrong.” He responds, clasping your hand with affection.

You nod, grasping his warm one back. “Our friendship matters more than those silly mistakes of mine.”

The tavern door rings open, and a flurry of laughter and overlapping voices enter the Angel’s Share. Diluc sighs, shaking his head, and you turn around to see a group of familiar people walking towards the counter.

“I told you not to come.”

“How could we not, it’s practically your engagement-“ Kaeya pauses in his words, gaze flickering over to your seated figure.

“Y/N?” You hear Jean inquire, and you glance behind your shoulder to greet the Knights and Venti standing behind you in astonishment. You would have said something back to acknowledge their presence with a response, but your stomach twists at the sight of a blonde man hidden behind the crowd, those bright and haunting teal irises locked onto yours.

You would know those eyes anywhere.

“Oh…it’s been a while.”

You aren’t particularly certain if your reply was directed towards the group, or to the quiet alchemist at the back of the room. All you can feel is the whirlwind of memories setting itself free inside a tucked corner of your mind, your vision getting dizzy from shock and fear.

You stand up in a rush, setting Diluc’s hand down, and give a small smile to the red haired man. “Sorry, do you mind? I’ll just go get some fresh air.”

“Sure.” He answers, understanding your sudden hostile behavior upon seeing Albedo mixed in with the uninvited guests.

You nod and give a brief greeting to the group, quickly slipping away before they could get you to stay and ask more questions. You burst the door open, and with shaky steps, proceed towards the exit of the nation, the urge of getting back to Liyue growing stronger than ever.

You reach around for your baggage, and pause upon remembering that you left it back inside the tavern. The thought frustrates you, and you consider leaving without it and locating any other means of travelling back to the City of Contracts.

Before you could even take another step forward, you hear an awkward cough echo from behind you in an attempt to garner your attention.

“Relax. You don’t have to run.”

You feel your limbs freeze at the voice, and you force yourself to swallow the vomit desperately climbing at your throat.

“I’m not on one knee. It’s fine…I know better than to do that.”

His words sting you, and you can’t help but glance back at the unreadable alchemist with his arms behind his frame, halted a few feet away from you.

“I wasn’t…trying to run.” You awkwardly cover up, shaking your head in a poor effort to save the last ounce of your pride.

“Oh really? Should I just return this bag back inside then?” He nonchalantly questions, holding up one hand to reveal your luggage in his grasp.

You bite your lip upon seeing the item you needed most, unable to say a word at his interrogation. You can see him turn around to head back, and your fingers act before you could even process the situation - wrapping them around his wrist and effectively stopping him in his place.

“Wait…I actually do need that.” You shamefully confess, grasp tightening on him as you looked down at the ground to avoid his eyes.

“So, are you running away?” He asks softly, and you feel the quiet but traitorous pitter patter at the bottom of your heart, a strange yet familiar feeling blossoming inside your chest.

“…no.”

You feel him nudge you with your bag, and you gratefully take it, shaky fingers clenched around the cloth.

You pull away from him, looking through your stuff to see if anything had gone missing and if the alchemist would have used something as blackmail against you.

“Can we talk?” You hear him request, and you glance up at his face, contorted in a warm yet doubtful expression at you.

“I…don’t know what else there is to say.” You admit, closing your bag and letting it drape from your grasp.

“A lot of things, if you will.” He remarks, arms retreating to his sides. “I…just can’t stop thinking about that day and…well, you.”

You take a deep breath, trying to calm the shaky and violent rhythm drumming inside your chest, praying to the archons that he just wouldn’t have to hear it.

“If you don’t feel comfortable with it, I can leave-“

“Wait.” You hastily say, and you know you’re going to regret doing this. But part of you can’t seem to help it - can’t contain the ever growing curiosity on what he has left to say to you. And frankly, though you absolutely dreaded admitting it, you had originally planned to use Diluc’s engagement as an excuse to sweep the streets of Mondstadt in pursuit of Albedo and…well the rest of the little details would follow later.

“It’s alright…let’s talk.”

The city has gone quiet. Lights slowly start to dim, the distant noise fainting and traces of life retreating back into their houses to call it a night.

You roam the presently empty nation with your ex-lover, both unsure of how to start the unexpected conversation and learning how to get used to each other’s intimate presence once more. Albedo, being the gentleman he is, offered to hold your baggage as you both strolled the quiet streets.

“How have you been?” He inquires, glancing over to you.

“Good…Liyue is quite beautiful.” You respond. “Didn’t you say your writer friend lived there?”

“Ah yes, Xingqiu.” He acknowledges. “He has told me to come visit sometime to see the sights.”

“They’re lovely. Worthy of being painted.” You suggest, recalling the fluttering blades of orange and lemon yellow from sandbearer trees. “You can see the sun set over the ocean.”

“Lovelier than Mondstadt, I presume?”

You smile, shrugging at his words. “I think each nation has it’s own unique beauty to behold.”

“How about you? Are you well?”

“Everything is just the same.” He hums. “The regular experiments, trips to Dragonspine, loads of work - all that sort.”

“Don’t you ever get bored?” You question, wincing at the repetitiveness of his daily routine.

“I don’t think I ever did. I had you. Everyday became an adventure.” He replies without a thought, admiring the night view of the tranquil scenery.

You choke at his words, something warm dusting on your cheeks - and you’re thankful for the darkness saving you in this moment.

“I almost forgot how straightforward you were with your words.”

“It’s not something I’d be ashamed of hiding.” Albedo says, looking over to you. “I can’t exactly deny that you’ve been…the greatest source of interest and excitement that I’ve experienced in my entire life.”

You pause in your steps, sensing the sentimentality in his words. He had been the same to you - the sole reason why your days had somehow become brighter, why even the nights were better. Why life seemed to look so perfect before it suddenly wasn’t.

“Did you ever feel that way too?”

You glance over at him, his gaze still focused on the view.

“Did you ever love me?”

“Of course I did.” You confidently state, stunned at his absurd question. “Why wouldn’t I have?”

“I’m glad you think so…because when you left, I thought I was the only one who felt like this all along.” He admits, glancing over to you with doubt in his eyes. “It’s comforting to think that at least for all those moments we shared together, I now know that we both felt the same.”

Guilt washes over you upon hearing his words of insecurity - you didn’t realize he remained so affected by this. You assumed you were the only one left behind in the past while everyone moved along with life, but between you two in this brief point in time, nothing seems to have changed. You both felt like you were still the same people who once stood under a familiar yet unfortunate sun-drenched morning.

“…I’m sorry. For running away.”

You feel a warm hand cup your cheek, and you come face-to-face with his eyes that spoke of home.

“Would you indulge me as to why you left?”

You feel tears prickle in the corners of your eyes and smile. “We were young and fools in pursuit of a fleeting feeling. I was so happy - too happy - I almost forgot that I was nameless and this plain and boring orphan constantly looked down upon.” You whisper, reaching up to touch his hand.

“I can’t bring you down with me.”

“Is that why you said no?”

“…I refused because we know you deserve better. And I would hate myself forever if I stayed and held you back.” You answer, gaze locked on your feet as your thumb gently massaged his rough fingers.

“Love, you know the only one I want is you.”

Oh gods. You can feel your heart thumping a little too loud, feeling your legs shake and turn wobbly from his affectionate words. You swore you were going to regret remembering this for the rest of your life - Albedo being so close to you, yet too far to reach.

You pluck up the last bit of courage left in you to look into his eyes.

“After I packed and left…you didn’t come after me.”

His eyes bore into yours with intensity, and a familiar glint in them.

“I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

Of course I did. Even after all this time. Because I’m still an idiot in love with you.

But perhaps you didn’t need to say it out loud for him to know. His eyes shift and darken, you can hear something distant drumming loudly - and you’re certain it isn’t coming from you this time.

You wanted to savor this moment - to remember the shape of his hand, the warmth of his touch, the scent of old scrolls and a faint aroma of fresh coffee on a bright morning.

“I don’t feel brave enough to do this again.”

You watch his lips contort into an affectionate smile, those azure eyes lovingly gazing back at you like they did all those years ago.

“It’s alright.”

Sometimes, imagining your future might always take you back on a detour to the past.

“I’ve been waiting ever since you left all those years ago…what’s a few more, right?”

We try to move forward with what we have in life, and yet what’s been reduced to history always finds a strange way to crawl back into our lives.

“How are you so sure I’ll say yes this time?”

In everything we see, we hear, we feel and breathe.

“I’m not. But you’re not pushing me away.”

The distant memories of back then continue to haunt us for the rest of our lives, without warning, permission, or purposeful intention to do so.

“You are brave, Y/N.”

It can be difficult. Terrifying to face. Irritating to remember.

“You don’t know that.”

But in the face of fear and the unknown, if we wait until we’re ready…

“Maybe you don’t want to accept it yet. But when you’re ready…”

we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.

“I’ll be waiting. For the rest of my life.”

“It’s…a long time to wait for someone. Are you certain you want to stay like this until life draws to an end?”

“I don’t mind. There was nothing else worth waiting for until you.”

[rosiehunterwolf]

wait

(storm section inspired by @ambrosial-tea)

Prompts: Home and Memories

Word Count: 5,901 (hey i think i'm actually starting to get these back to a more reasonable number XD)

Characters: Lloyd and Garmadon

Timeline: Between episodes 13 (Day of the Great Devourer) and 18 (Child’s Play) with some flashback scenes

Trigger Warnings: Abandonment

Summary: Lloyd’s not so great at being patient. It’s not his fault though- maybe he would be better at it if waiting didn’t always end up being so disappointing- if people actually kept their promises. But this time’s going to be different, he knows it. His father will come back for him. And Lloyd’s going to wait.

As long as it takes.

Since I already got two bingos on the sparks board, I decided to switch it up and change to the warm board!

Read on FFN.net

Read on Ao3

Tumblr work under the cut

In the aftermath of the battle, Lloyd only had one thought on his mind.

Cheers and whoops from the citizens of Ninjago City- and the ninja themselves- rang through the air as the realization that the Great Devourer was dead hit them. Lloyd hardly noticed, though. Gripping the handrail at the edge of the building, he peered out over the city. He was around here somewhere. He had to be.

“We did it!” Kai cried, grabbing Lloyd’s hand and raising it high in the air. “We saved the city! The Great Devourer is dead!” We? Lloyd glared at him, although the fire ninja didn’t even seem to notice. My dad was the one who seemed to do all the saving.

“Ultra!” Cole cried as the dragon landed on the street near the foot of the building. Racing towards the fire escape, the ninja hurried down the stairs and over to the dragon. Cole threw his arms around Rocky’s snout, the others not far behind. “You’re safe, bud!”

As the ninja and Nya laughed and caressed the dragon, Lloyd hung back, feeling lost. This wasn’t right. They couldn’t go on celebrating when someone was still missing.

“Where’s my dad?” he burst out, his voice sounding a lot shakier than what he had hoped for. “I don’t see him anywhere.”

The others exchanged glances. Lloyd hated the way they looked at each other, trying to decide what to tell him, because he obviously wasn’t good enough to know what they were really thinking.

Nya walked over to him, putting a hand on his shoulder and bending over slightly to put herself more at his level. Her eyes sparkled with regret. “Lloyd-”

“Sensei Wu?”

Jaws dropped at Cole’s exclamation, and they jerked their gazes towards where he was pointing. Sure enough, Uncle Wu was sitting in the middle of the street, in a pile of green Devourer goo, looking lost as he pushed himself to his feet. Lloyd closed his eyes, letting his breath out slowly. So at least one of his mistakes had been fixed.

“He’s alive?” Jay gaped. “He’s alive!”

Kai grabbed Lloyd by the wrist, half-dragging him over towards their sensei as the ninja tackled him into a hug. Lloyd reached out to put a hand on his uncle’s back, but paused. He had no place here. Don’t get me wrong, I love the ninja, but… I was never supposed to be part of this. I’m only here because my uncle is their sensei, because I’m their beloved green ninja.

Wu pulled back from his students, grinning- only for his smile to falter as his dark eyes met Lloyd’s red ones. He tilted his head in that odd, knowing way of his. Lloyd wanted to break the contact, but couldn’t.

“Your father is gone, isn’t he.” Not a question, but a statement.

Lloyd let his gaze drop to the ground, remaining silent. His uncle reached a hand out for his shoulder but stopped short when Lloyd flinched away.

“Yeah, and with him, our golden weapons,” Kai growled. Nya elbowed him, hard, and he yelped, rubbing his side and scowling at her.

“Weapons or not, we will see him again,” Wu told him, “of that I am certain.”

“Yeah, only because your dumb prophecy says so.”

Wu flinched. “Lloyd-”

“Do I really have to fight my father someday, Uncle Wu?”

He sighed. “One day, nephew, that time will come. But I can hope that it is not for many, many years to come, when you are much older and stronger and wiser. Until then, we must not linger on the future. You ninja have done well today. You should be proud of yourselves, celebrate your victory for a little while.”

“Don’t worry, bigshot.” Kai ruffled his hair. “You’re the chosen one. And we’re the best teachers there are! You’ll be more than ready by the time the final battle rolls around.”

Lloyd clenched his teeth. Why couldn’t any of them see? He didn’t want to fight his father. He couldn’t. His father had come back for him when the Serpentine had trapped him, even when everyone else had lost hope. His father had been the one to comfort him about their futures, the one to protect him, the one to fix his mistakes with the Serpentine. So what if he had taken the golden weapons? If it weren’t for him, they’d all be inside the stomach of a giant snake right now. Were the ninja really so quick to forget that?

They didn’t know him like Lloyd did. Even his uncle had never seen the side of him Lloyd had seen. His father was a good man who had made bad choices. Couldn’t the same be said for Lloyd? If he had changed, why couldn’t his father?

Don’t worry, dad, he vowed silently. I won’t fight you. I’ll find a way to fix this. To make this right.

You see if I don’t.

---

Lightning illuminated the small room, dazzling Garmadon’s tired face as he carried the blanket over to the couch. Sitting down, he gazed out the window, the pattering sound of rain against the glass both comforting and incredibly lonely at the same time.

He sighed, turning towards the hallway. “I know you’re there, Lloyd.”

A small boy slipped into view, a stuffed dragon hugged tightly against his chest and his wispy, whitish-blond hair a mess as he blinked shyly up at him. “I’m scared of the storm, Daddy.”

Garmadon shook his head, scooting over on the couch and patting the space beside him. Lloyd needed no further encouragement, running up to him and hauling himself up to sit beside him. Lloyd burrowed himself against Garmadon’s side, and he made sure to pull the edge of his blanket a little tighter around his son.

Thunder rumbled loudly, and Lloyd whimpered, gripping tighter onto Garmadon. He waited a moment for the boy to relax before speaking.

“So. Mind telling me what it is you find so scary about storms?” Lloyd fidgeted. “They’re so loud! And the lightning- I don’t want it to get me, Daddy.”

Garmadon chuckled. “So you’re scared of a little noise and lights, eh? Somehow, I didn’t quite expect that from you.”

Lloyd yelped as another rumble echoed through the air, this one seeming to shake the house with its ferocity. Lloyd’s dragon slipped out of his grip and he quickly snatched it back up.

“It’s just a process of nature, son. There’s no need to fear it. We are safe here.”

Lloyd glanced up at him with wide eyes, and Garmadon sighed.

“It’s like a dragon, Lloyd. The storm is a big, restless dragon who’s bored and wants to play. The thunder is his roar, and the lightning is his fire breath.”

Lloyd’s eyes glowed, and he shuffled anxiously against Garmadon’s side. “Well, maybe it’s not that scary anymore…”

Garmadon huffed a laugh. “Dragons. That’s all it ever takes with you, isn’t it?”

Lloyd murmured something inaudible, nestling his head in Garmadon’s lap. They sat there together in the silence of the room, and long after Garmadon had thought his son had fallen asleep, he suddenly spoke.

“Daddy?”

“Hm?”

“Why did you and Mommy fight?”

Garmadon breathed out slowly. “Lloyd, you know it’s not nice to listen to people when they don’t know you’re there.”

“Sorry.”

“Look, son. There are some things in this world that are more complicated than you will ever know.” Seeing the confused look on the boy’s face, he elaborated. “Sometimes, people say things they don’t mean. Sometimes, mommies and daddies need to take a little break from each other.”

“Is that why you’re sleeping on the couch?”

“I suppose so. But it’s only for one night, Lloyd. We’ll sort things out tomorrow.”

“Oh.”

Garmadon gazed out the window again, running a hand through his thick hair. He tried not to think about the dark roots he had spotted there earlier, staining his deep chestnut hair the color of darkest night.

That was something no one needed to know about yet. The red eyes had already been hard enough on Misako, especially when their son had inherited them. He tried not to think about what that meant, either. The venom wasn’t hereditary, was it? Lloyd showed no signs of the snappishness he had felt as a youth. On the contrary, the child was pure of heart and bright of soul, one of the sweetest people he had ever met. Garmadon couldn’t understand how he had gotten so lucky.

“Did I do something to make you and Mommy fight?”

“What?” Garmadon started suddenly. “Heavens, child, no.” Taking Lloyd’s chin in his hand, he titled it towards him so that they were looking each other in the eye. “Honey, none of this is your fault. This is Daddy’s mistake, not yours. We both love you very much, you know that, right?”

Lloyd nodded, sniffling as he wrapped his arms tighter around him. “Can I stay with you tonight?”

Garmadon rested a hand on his head. “Whatever you need, my son. I will always be here for you.”

---

“Lloyd Montgomery Garmadon, what were you thinking?” Kai ripped the sword off of his back, sending it to the ground with a clatter. “We told you to stay on the bus, and what did you do? Go after a bunch of pirates?”

“Yeah, kid.” Cole crossed his arms over his chest. “You could’ve been seriously hurt.”

Lloyd glared at them. “I was only trying to help! You never let me do anything!” “Because you’re not ready!” Kai put his hands in his hair, yanking on it in frustration. “Augh, can’t you see? We’re only trying to protect you! What good is all this training if you don’t even make it to the final battle?”

“Lloyd,” Zane said more gently. “You need to take things one step at a time. One day, you will be ready to fight beside us. One day, but not today.”

Lloyd looked away, pushing down the bubbling anger inside of him. This didn’t matter. None of this mattered. If the ninja wanted to treat him like a baby, fine. It didn’t matter what they thought.

All he cared about was his father. He needed to impress him. Make him proud.

“Lloyd? Do you understand?”

“Yes, Zane,” he muttered, avoiding the nindroid’s gaze and instead choosing to kick at a rock. The ninja exchanged hesitant glances, but they didn’t press him further.

Nya sighed. “It’s been a long day. What do you say we get back to the Bounty, and-”

“Sorry! You snooze, you lose!”

The group whipped around towards the Bounty, where the thrusters were powering up as several Serpentine peered at them over the guardrails- as well as a familiar dark figure.

“Dad,” Lloyd breathed, lunging forward- only to be stopped by Nya’s strong arms. He squirmed against her, but she wouldn’t relent.

“Lord Garmadon!” Kai cried. “He stole our ship! I can’t believe he stole our ship!”

“Come on,” Jay groaned. “We just got it back! Can’t it go five minutes without being taken?”

“The Bounty belongs to us,” Cole warned. “We fought for it, fair and square. Give it back, Garmadon.”

The Dark Lord gave a dry laugh. “Like I’d give anything to you.”

Lord Garmadon’s head turned- freezing as he made eye contact with Lloyd. The same eerie red of his own eyes reflected back at him. He longed to say something, anything- but his mouth was dry and words refused to come. He hoped his father could tell what he was thinking, anyway.

Please don’t leave. Stay here. We can work something out. We’ll fix everything between us.

Please don’t leave me again.

For a moment, something that looked like doubt flashed in his father’s eyes, and Lloyd felt hope soar in his chest. My dad might actually- he could-

“You’re getting stronger, son,” Garmadon said, “but never strong enough to defeat me. Give up and turn back now, before it is too late.”

No. Lloyd felt himself fumble as the Bounty rose into the air and flew away, taking his father further and further from him. No, he couldn’t be leaving him again, this had been his one chance to get his father back, to earn his love, but Lloyd had blown it.

I’m sorry, dad. I wasn’t good enough. I let you down.

It won’t happen again. Next time, I’ll try harder.

Next time, I’ll make you proud.

---

Their apartment was quiet that night. As Kai and Nya washed dishes in the kitchen- it was their night for clean-up duty- the others crowded around the TV in their tiny living room, playing video games with the volume low. Their usual yelling was diminished to nothing more than hushed whispers.

Behind them, Lloyd was curled up on the couch, already out like a light even though it was only seven pm. The boy was undoubtedly exhausted from the fight with the pirates earlier in the day, Kai thought crossly.

It took him a moment to realize Nya was staring at Lloyd, too. “Kai,” she asked slowly, working her jaw. “Is Lloyd okay?”

“Why,” he asked quickly. “Is he hurt? Did something happen? Man, I told him not to-”

“No. I mean… do you think he’s been acting a little… odd, lately?”

Kai frowned, turning to look at the boy. His brow furrowed as he slept, the corners of his mouth twitching downward slightly. “I guess. He’s probably just tired from all the training. We’ve been working him pretty hard, as of late.”

“Yeah,” Nya nodded, although she didn’t look like the answer truly satisfied her.

If Kai was being honest, it didn’t feel right to him, either.

---

Misako stormed into the room, dropping Lloyd into his lap with a huff. “That’s it, he’s your problem now.”

Garmadon looked up at her questioningly. “What happened?”

“What do you think happened? He bit me again! So, get him to stop.”

“What makes you think I would be able to make him stop?”

“I don’t know, but the fangs come from your side of the family, so it’s your responsibility now.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know, you’re a smart man, you’ll figure it out! I’m going to go make some tea. Good luck.”

Garmadon stared after her but was pulled out of his thoughts as something sharp chomped down on his hand. He glanced down at Lloyd. “Oh, mister. What are we going to do with you?”

---

When Garmadon returned home the next day, there was a plump green dragon plush stuffed beneath his arm. He handed it to Lloyd, who was sitting on the floor, playing with his wooden blocks as he sucked on his pacifier. “Here. Next time you feel the impulse to bite someone, bite this instead.”

Lloyd eyed the plush with interest, reaching out for it with grabby hands and clutching it around its middle, pulling it close. Spitting out his pacifier, he began to babble to the dragon, blocks forgotten. Garmadon picked up the pacifier, eyeing it closely and sighing as he caught sight of the puncture holes.

When he glanced at Lloyd, the boy was chomping down on the wing of the dragon. Garmadon rolled his eyes, crouching down next to him. “Hey, what is it with you and biting things you like? C’mon, bud.” He gently pried the wing out of his mouth. “You’re going to hurt him- uh, it- hey, don’t you think your little dragon friend needs a name?”

Lloyd stared thoughtfully at the stuffed animal. “Buhbuh.”

“No, no, no, he needs a noble, dragon-ly name! Like Blaze, or Windracer, or-”

“Buhbuh,” Lloyd said firmly.

“..Buffy?”

“Buhbuh.”

Garmadon sighed. “The fierce and mighty Buhbuh? That’s what you want?”

Lloyd cheered, hugging the plush tight. “Buhbuh!”

The name wasn’t the only thing that stuck. Over the following weeks, Lloyd fell in love with that dragon. Everywhere the toddler went, Buhbuh wasn’t far behind. In his playroom, in the crib, in the car, at meals, even in the bathroom. Misako had spent twenty minutes one night trying to wrestle the toy away from him before he took his bath.

It had solved the biting issue, at least, although Misako often muttered that he had just traded one problem out for another. He dismissed her worries, telling her that Lloyd would grow out of his dragon phase eventually.

Although, that certainly wasn’t happening anytime soon. As Lloyd got older, he only got more and more intrigued by the creatures. Suddenly, everything had to have dragons- his pajamas, the shows on TV, his pull-ups, and his many, many toys. While his biting habits faded, as soon as he learned to walk, he was tottering around the house, roaring and flapping his arms like wings. Even as his collection of dragon toys and figurines grew, however, Buhbuh was always his favorite.

Garmadon should’ve known better than to think the carefree times would last forever, though. Ever since Lloyd had been born, he had been so much happier- and he was certain that the presence of his son was slowing the spread of the venom. But it wasn’t gone. It was a curse that the damned snake had forced him to bear forever.

He wanted to put it off as long as possible, though. He was happier here than he had ever been in his life, and he didn’t want to lose all this.

He knew if anyone could help him, it was his brother. Wu understood how much he loved his wife and child. He knew how badly he wanted this. He would do whatever he could to help. His teas and meditations had always been helpful in the past, and he hoped this time wouldn’t be any different.

“Do you have everything, dear?” Misako asked, helping him slip on his coat.

He lifted the duffel bag in his hand. “All in here. I’m ready.”

A sharp tug on his pant leg distracted him. He glanced down to see Lloyd, sniffing miserably. “Daddy, why do you have to go?”

Garmadon crouched down next to him. “It’s only for a few days, pumpkin. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Why?”

Garmadon sighed. “Daddy’s been feeling…” he glanced at Misako, at a loss, but she only shrugged. “… A bit under the weather lately. I’m going to pay a visit to your Uncle Wu so he can help me with my… impulse control.”

Lloyd blinked at him, and Garmadon smirked, realizing that every word he had just said had gone straight over his son’s head. He ruffled his hair, standing again. “Don’t worry about it too much. You’ll be fine. Your mother will take good care of you.”

As he turned towards the door, he stopped at the sound of sniffling. Turning back to Lloyd, he wiped the tears from his eyes with his sleeve. “Hey. It’ll be alright, okay? Daddy will be back soon. You can even call me tonight.” Glancing around, he spotted Buhbuh sitting on the end table and grabbed him, pressing him into Lloyd’s arms. “Buhbuh will take care of you when I’m gone, okay?”

Lloyd hugged Buhbuh tighter. “Okay.”

“Don’t worry, Lloyd. Buhbuh is the best protector there is. And remember, I’m the one who bought him for you. Whenever you see him, you’ll know that I’ll always come back.”

---

“Lloyd, steady!” Jay cried. “We’re wobbling too much!”

Kai yelped, gripping onto Cole’s leg, where he was struggling to balance on Zane’s shoulder. On the nindriod’s other side was Jay, and on top of Cole, Sensei Wu balanced, unfazed. Below them all, Lloyd stood, trembling under all their weight.

“Uh, guys, are you sure this is a good idea-”

“Ahhh! Watch out, we’re going to fall!”

The ninja screamed as they fell to the ground, landing in a tangled pile of limbs. Lloyd quickly wriggled his way out from underneath them, and the others extracted themselves more slowly, groaning.

“You gotta find your balance, Lloyd,” Cole said, rubbing his shoulder where Kai had landed on it. “You have the strength to lift us, but you’re not focusing enough.”

“Well, maybe I’m trying!” Lloyd snapped. “I don’t see you down here lifting all that weight!”

Kai frowned. “Lloyd, Cole is only trying to help.”

“Well, maybe I don’t need help. You’re putting too much pressure on me! I could do way better on my own!”

Sensei Wu put a hand on his nephew’s shoulder. “Perhaps it is time for a break. Let’s get you a drink of water and rest for a bit, then we can try again.”

Lloyd begrudgingly shuffled after his uncle, grumbling under his breath. Kai watched him go with a furrowed brow.

“What’s got the kid acting so irritable lately?”

Jay shook his head. “I don’t know. But he’s starting to get on my nerves. It feels like he’s just being stubborn for the sake of it.”

Zane frowned. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe we are putting too much pressure on him. Supporting the weight of all of us is probably asking too much for a nine-year-old boy, green ninja or not.”

Cole shook his head. “This is the same kid who put a crack through Dareth’s floor. If he can do that, he can lift us. I know he can do it. But he just seems… distant.”

“We’ll keep an eye on it.” Kai waved his hand, turning back towards the training space. “But we don’t have time for his moodiness now. Lord Garmadon is out there somewhere, and he’s not going to wait around for us to sort out our issues.”

---

“Uh, come on boy, we gotta catch up with the ninja, I’m not gonna fall behind again- woah!”

Ultra let out a mighty roar, careening forward with a mighty flap of his wings and sending the reins shooting out of Lloyd’s hands. He only just managed to snag them before they hurtled over Ultra’s heads.

“Easy boy, easy! Look,” he sighed, letting a hand rest gently on the dragon’s off-white scales. “We’re never gonna win this race and save the dojo if you and me don’t learn to work together. Besides, I’m the green ninja. I’m meant to ride you, anyway. Imagine how impressed the others will be if we come back and I’m riding you like a pro! We can rub it in their faces what a natural I am with dragons, heh. What do you say?”

Flame’s head snorted, letting out a puff of smoke, which wasn’t the most reassuring answer.

“Hey, wait a minute.” Lloyd squinted, staring at the vehicles racing through the canyon below them. There was the familiar shape of the Ultra Sonic Raider, but above it-

The ship appeared to have undergone some design changes, but there was still no mistaking the vast, furling sails or the dragon figurehead. The Bounty was in the race.

His father was here.

Lloyd’s heart skipped a beat. His father was here- he could see the black figure now, helping some of the Serpentine to point a cannon at the Ultra Sonic Raider.

Ultra tensed beneath him, but Lloyd hesitated, holding the mighty dragon back.

His dad was trying to hurt his friends. Lloyd didn’t want to get in his father’s way, but…

He couldn’t let him do this.

Lloyd gritted his teeth, digging his hands into the reins. “Okay, Ultra. Let’s put a stop to this.”

Ultra roared, diving towards the Bounty so sharply that Lloyd had to grip onto the saddle for dear life to keep himself from flying off. “Get out of the way!” he yelled at his father. Garmadon lurched back from the cannon, eyes widening, but it was too late. Ultra was already slamming into the ship, sending both himself and the Bounty spiraling.

Snapping up the reins, Lloyd pulled back, steering Ultra up, narrowly avoiding crashing into the ground.

“Woooo! Nice going, Lloyd!”

Kai’s cry sent a flare of warmth through his chest, but it quickly dissipated as his gaze fell on his father, who was barking at the Serpentine as they hurried to get the ship going straight again. He had made the right choice- the only choice- but at his father’s expense.

A wave of panic suddenly hit him. He couldn’t mess this up. He had been given another chance to make his father proud of him, and he couldn’t let this one slip between his fingers.

“C’mon, Ultra, let’s show ‘em what we got!” With a jerk of the reins, the dragon was shooting through the air like a bullet. Lloyd steered him up, and Ultra did a graceful loop through the air, followed by a swift corkscrew.

Lloyd blinked, surprised at how easily his dragon was listening to him. Usually, Ultra was as stubborn as possible, but apparently he enjoyed putting on a show as much as Lloyd did.

“Quit fooling around, Lloyd!” Cole cried from the Raider. “We gotta win this race, and we need your help!”

Lloyd glanced back at the Bounty, but his father wasn’t even looking at him, just waving the Mega Weapon around as he yelled at the Serpentine. Lloyd sighed, guiding Ultra towards the guys. This obviously wasn’t working.

As the Raider sped over the rocky ground below them, it slowly shifted into a softer, lusher landscape- and then came the snow. Lloyd stuck his tongue out, letting a flake land on his tongue.

“Birchwood Forest!” Kai cried. “Oh, we’ll never get through all these trees to catch up!”

There was a roaring of an engine behind him, and Lloyd glanced back to see his father coming in the Bounty, not too far off. I still have a chance! I can still impress him!

“Let me find a shortcut,” he called to the ninja. “Ultra! Up, boy!”

Scanning the woods below, he quickly eyed out a path, then swooped down with Ultra, racing through the trees. “Follow me!”

The turns were sharp, and Lloyd barely avoided crashing into the trees on more than a couple of occasions. But he didn’t, Ultra’s movements swift and precise below him. Lloyd let out a whoop of exhilaration. He was finally getting the hang of this! Ultra was listening to him! Taming a dragon was no easy feat, his father would have to be proud of him now-

Suddenly, Ultra let out a pained cry, and before Lloyd could process anything, the dragon was being yanked backward and plummeting towards the ground. Lloyd screamed, clutching onto the saddle, and Ultra threw his wings around him, sheltering him as they hit the ground with an almighty crash.

---

Lloyd groaned, blinking stars from his eyes as something bumped against his cheek. When it finally came into focus, he saw Wisp’s head staring at him, grunting in concern.

“I- I’m fine, boy,” Lloyd huffed, grabbing at the dragon’s muzzle for support as he pushed himself to his feet. “What in Ninjago just happened? We were doing so well, now we’re going to lose the race!”

Ultra groaned, raising his left foot and shaking it, where chains clanked loudly.

“No, no, no-” Lloyd raced over, examining the cuff and finding long, curved bones secured tightly around Ultra’s ankle. “The Skulkin! They sabotaged us! Those scheming, no good boneheads!” Lloyd yanked desperately at the chains, trying to get them to budge. “Augh, now we’re never going to win the race, and my father will never-” Lloyd cried out as his hand scraped against the sharp edge of the bone. Immediately, Flame’s head was at his side, nosing him away from the cuff and whining softly as he gently licked Lloyd’s scratched hand.

“I… I just wanted to make him proud,” Lloyd sniffed, burying his face against Flame’s scales. The fire dragon felt comfortingly warm in the cold of the snowdrift.

Rocky’s head butted him softly, before carefully taking the edge of the cuff between his teeth and crunching down on it, shattering it into a dozen pieces. Lloyd sucked in his breath, giving Rocky’s muzzle a quick hug before clambering back onto Ultra’s back.

“If we hurry, we can still catch them now! C’mon, boy, we have a lot of ground to make up for!”

---

Lloyd didn’t win the race, but by the time the finish line came into view, he could see the ninja crowding around the golden winner’s cup, cheering. In front of them, Garmadon was yelling at the referee, insisting that he had won and that the ref had made a faulty call.

Lloyd’s breath caught in his throat. His father was right here. Closer than he had been since the defeat of the Great Devourer. Part of Lloyd wanted to run up and hug him, but he knew he couldn’t. That wouldn’t last. He needed something more permanent.

His eyes strayed to the Bounty, resting a little way behind the Dark Lord. With his father out yelling at the ninja and the race staff and all the Serpentine left behind in the Glacier Barrens, the ship was empty.

If Lloyd took it back- his father wouldn’t be able to fly away again. He’d have to stay. They could talk, work things out. As soon as he could get his father to stop running and just listen, he knew he could get through to him.

Lloyd eyed his father warily, but Garmadon was too distracted to notice the giant dragon behind him, as were the ninja. Quietly, Lloyd instructed Ultra forward, and the dragon padded across the ground, climbing up onto the deck of the Bounty.

“That’s not even street legal!” Garmadon was yelling. “My ship was clearly-”

“Your ship?”

His father whipped around, and Lloyd froze as they stared at each other for a long moment.

Please. Please, please, please. Lloyd reached a hand out. “Dad-”

Police sirens sounded behind them, and suddenly two officers hopped out of the car. “Alright, Garmadon, you’re coming with us.”

“Wait!” Lloyd cried, slipping off of Ultra and landing on the ground mere feet from his father. “Dad, it doesn’t have to be like this. You can-”

A screeching of tires, and suddenly Skales was pulling up in his bus. “Look who needs who now!”

Garmadon scowled, turning to go. Lloyd’s brain screamed at him. This was his one chance to stop him. If he did nothing, who knew how long it would be until he got to see him again?

Lloyd lunged forward, grabbing Garmadon’s wrist. The man looked back in surprise. “What are you-”

“Dad. Please. Don’t go.”

Garmadon fell silent, staring at him for a moment. Time seemed to stand still.

Then Garmadon was yanking away, shaking his head. “I’m sorry, son. We both know I can’t do that.” In two steps, he was aboard the Serpentine bus and speeding away.

No. Lloyd felt tears well in his eyes. There were others here, and Lloyd hadn’t cried in front of anyone in a long time, but he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. His father had been right here. He had touched him.

“Way to go, bud!” Kai whooped, running over to him, the other ninja close behind. “You got the Bounty back- hey, woah, what’s wrong?”

Lloyd quickly tried to cover his eyes, but Kai was already crouched down next to him, pulling his arms away and gently wiping at his tears with the sleeve of his gi.

Jay put a hand on his back. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

Lloyd shook his head, sniffling. “I just… I thought… my father, I thought he would… I thought if I could make him proud, he would stop leaving…” Lloyd choked on a sob, burying his face in Kai’s gi. “Why does he keep leaving? Why does everyone leave? What did I do wrong?”

“Oh, bud,” Kai whispered, running hands through Lloyd’s hair gently. “This is what’s been upsetting you, hasn’t it?”

Lloyd whimpered miserably, and Kai hugged him tighter- his grip so firm, so protective, that it made Lloyd think maybe everything could be okay again, eventually.

“You look at me,” Kai demanded, tilting his chin up. “None of this is your fault. You hear me? None of it. All the people that left you were jerks who didn’t appreciate how amazing you were. They don’t deserve you. We don’t deserve you. But you’re our true family, Lloyd. We will never, ever do what they did.”

“You hear that?” Cole punched him lightly in the chest, his voice sounding suspiciously choked up. “You’re one of us, now, green bean. You can’t escape us, whether you like it or not.”

“Your father will never understand this, Lloyd.” Jay gestured at the group with his hands. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way. You deserve a father who will be there for you, one whose love is not clouded by dreams of vengeance. But that’s how things are. So you’re stuck with us, instead.”

“I’m sorry he couldn’t be here, Lloyd,” Zane murmured. “But we are. And we love you. So if there’s ever something bothering you, talk to us about it. We want to do everything we can to make you feel wanted.”

Nya crouched down next to Kai. “You and me against the world, bud. Remember that? We’re not giving up on you. Ever. So your father can stuff it-”

Zane elbowed her, and she grinned sheepishly. “Sorry. Now’s not the best time for that. But you get my point. I’ll fight stupid destiny for you, Lloyd Garmadon. We all will.”

Lloyd’s eyes welled up again, but this time the tears were happy as he collapsed against them. Five pairs of arms hugged him back, warm and strong and safe.

His father had left again. But that wasn’t what was important right now. His true home was here, with the ninja.

And he had hope it always would be.

---

Garmadon gazed down at the bundle in his arms. His posture was stiff and unnatural, his rough hands as gentle as possible as they supported the weight.

This was easily the most precious thing he had ever carried.

Lloyd stared up at him with wide, curious eyes. Every curve and inch of him was perfect- and he was his. Garmadon could see himself in the curve of his son’s nose or the outline of his jaw, Misako in the shape of his eyes or the hue of his skin.

He still couldn’t believe it.

It had taken Misako hours to convince him he wasn’t going to hurt Lloyd, and now, here he was, carrying his son for the first time.

His son. He loved the way that sounded.

Garmadon shifted his grip slightly, and suddenly Lloyd began to fuss. Garmadon glanced to Misako for help, but she simply shook her head, smiling.

At a loss, Garmadon cradled Lloyd closer to his chest. “Shh, shh, Lloyd, it’s okay. Daddy’s got you.”

Lloyd stopped almost immediately at the sound of his voice, cooing in wonder as he reached a chubby little hand out. Garmadon bowed his head, closing his eyes and letting Lloyd trace his fingers gently across his face.

Garmadon felt the tension ease from his shoulders. This was a person. A living, breathing being, and he and Misako had created him.

Nothing in the world could’ve ever prepared him for the wonderful gift of fatherhood. This was one thing in his life he vowed not to mess up.

“You’re safe, little one,” he murmured. “I will always be here for you.”

[sailorshadzter]

Hiii! Welcome back!!! If you are still taking requests, how about an one shot where Cersei kind of notices the tension between Jon and Sansa and comments on it? Maybe in a "We are not so different" way? Or she straight up encourages them bc she's a horrible person and thinks if there are rumors about the Starks, they'll forget about the Lannisters?

ANON. whew this has been in my ask box for a while! but i opened my inbox to find some inspiration to write and yours was the one that clicked first! so i hope you see this, anon, wherever you are, and know that i FINALLY got to your prompt request!!!

as always, you're always welcome to drop a prompt request in my inbox.

enjoy!

The ball is grand and glittering.

Cersei has ensured that this night would be perfect, putting far more coin into it than Robert ever would have allowed. But there is little else she can do, what with the trouble brewing all around them. She's lost one son already, she will not lose another- and so she has gone to great expense and trouble to make sure that this room was full of loyal nobles and fearsome knights. This wedding would not end the way the last one had, even if the bride was the same.

From where she sits, she watches as the young Sansa Stark dances with her half brother, the bastard born Jon Snow. The young man had been intended for the Night's Watch, but Tyrion had developed a fondness for the boy during their visit North, and so, he'd come along with the Stark's. They are close together, the dance bringing them so, but the smile that lights up the redhead's face is one that Cersei swears she's worn herself, but when she looks upon Jaime. And the usually stoic Snow looks just as delighted to spin his sister out and back in, hands at her waist to lift her high into the air as the music swells. Cersei chuckles, wondering how's she's not noticed it ever before. The wheels in her brain are suddenly spinning, whirling several thoughts throughout that bring yet another smile to her face.

As if her thoughts have conjured him, she feels Jaime's presence at her elbow; he bows over his arm, ever the courtier, but she knows it's more for show than anything else. "What has you so cheery?" He asks, his green eyes scanning the dance floor, where sure enough his gaze falls upon the Stark siblings as they finish their dance among all the others, though it quite seems they've forgotten they aren't alone. "They make a handsome pair, do they not?" Turning back to face his lover, he sees he's right, for she's staring down at them with a look he's seen before. "What are you thinking?"

"That proud Ned Stark's children are falling in love right before our very eyes." They both knew what the world would say about two siblings, albeit half, falling in love. Was it not why they themselves took every precaution? Cersei shudders to think what would happen if the truth was ever discovered... The rumors were bad enough. But this... Two Stark children in love? It would cease the rumors about her and Jaime, that she was certain of. She watches as Sansa dips a quick curtsy to Jon before he offers her his arm, which she readily takes, and they disappear into the crowd.

"See that Lady Stark is brought to me tomorrow morning, won't you?" She says to the nearest lady, who nods, curtsying before she scurries away to do as she's been bid. Cersei turns back to face the dance floor, but it's suddenly become far less interesting.

And so she must wait until morning.

[ x x x ]

It's late, yet she cannot bring herself to leave his arms.

Jon holds fast to her, kissing the top of her head, her silk gown soft beneath his touch as his hands span the length of her spine. "I should go..." She whispers for the tenth time, though his grip does not relent, nor does she make any attempt to pull away. He smells of spice and smoke, comforting and strong; she buries her face deeper into his chest, wishing she could sink into him. "Jon..."

His name is soft on her lips.

Their gazes meet and he's lost, as he always is, in the depth of her blue eyes. "I know," is all he can say, knowing as well as she that it was best for her to go. They both knew where this moment would lead- after all, how many times had they been here before? But more than anything, they both knew what would happen if they were discovered in such an embrace. And yet... There's a part of him that doesn't care. There's a part of him that wishes with all of his might that they could be together in the way that they wanted. No more secret midnight rendezvous that only left them both feeling more strained than being without the other. "I'll walk you to your rooms..." He begins, but she shakes her head.

"Shae is waiting," she says softly, finally freeing herself from his grip. She feels cold without his touch and that is almost enough to send her back into his arms. "I will see you in the morning," she goes on, reaching out her hand to tenderly touch his. Jon nods, catching her hand so he might bring it to his lips to kiss. The brush of his lips to her knuckles steals the breath from her lungs and time is suspended as they stand there, the only sound in the room that of the fire burning in the hearth. "Until the morning..."

"Until the morning," he parrots back as he let's go of her hand. "Good night, Sansa."

The way he says her name sends shivers down her spine. "Good night, Jon." She says instead of every other thing she wants to say.

[ x x x ]

In the morning, a lady arrives at her door to inform her she's been summoned to see the queen.

Though no longer truly queen, Cersei Lannister runs the Seven Kingdoms through her youngest son, the now King Tommen. Just a boy, he's been married to Margaery Tyrell, who only several weeks before had instead been married to Joffrey. Poison had taken care of him, but Margaery and her family, ever the schemers, ensured that she would take her place as queen. Sansa was certain that it would not be long before a new power struggle would emerge. Soon, it would be Margaery and the Tyrell's fighting for control of poor, young Tommen.

Once she's dressed, Sansa, with Shae beside her, makes her way down to Cersei's office.

When she's been announced, she steps into the room, one which she has spent much time in over her years in King's Landing. Once she had been thrilled to be invited into this room, to spend private time with Queen Cersei... But things have changed. Though she dips her the curtsy due to her rank, Sansa does not return the smile offered to her by the golden haired woman behind her oak desk. "Lady Stark, tell me, how did you enjoy the ball last night?" Cersei asks, gesturing for Sansa to take the empty chair across from her. The young woman frowns, but does as she's bid, clearly surprised by the question. Cersei notices she wears a new gown of pale blue damask, made from a bolt of fabric she was given by Jon Snow a few short weeks ago; though it is fashioned in the Southern style, Cersei sees that the trailing sleeves are stitched with falling leaves, weirwood leaves, like those that grow in the North. Even her hair, which once she wore in styles that mirrored her own, is fastened into braids in a way that reminds Cersei of Catelyn Stark. It is Sansa's way of breaking with the Lannister's entirely; she is no longer theirs to control.

"It was wonderful, your grace," Sansa answers honestly, shifting slightly in the chair, brushing a lock of red hair across a shoulder before she accepts the goblet of wine being offered to her. "Very grand." She goes on, though she's no longer thinking of the ball, but of the last dance she and Jon had shared together.

"Your brother is quite the elegant dancer, I must say I'm surprised." Cersei's voice breaks into her thoughts and Sansa blinks in surprise. This certainly was not the topic of conversation she expected to have upon being summoned to this room. "The two of you make quite the couple." At this, Sansa chokes on the sip of wine she's just taken, her stare wild and frantic as it rises up to meet the queen. Inside, Cersei is laughing- she's been right there was Sansa was before, so many years ago. Back when her feelings for Jaime had first begun to grow into what they were now. She could recall their dance lessons, when a compliment on how well they fit together would leave her blushing and stammering, just as Sansa Stark was now. "You needn't hide it from me, Lady Stark," she goes on, taking advantage of the young woman's silence. "I see how you look at him... And how he looks at you."

Sansa's heart was beating fast within her chest, so fast she can barely catch her breath. Was she and Jon truly so obvious? They had painstakingly tried to keep what was brimming between them beneath the surface... But had last night been their very downfall? "I-I do not know what you mean, your grace," she says, adopting a cheery but confused tone, cursing herself for being a terrible liar. From the way Cersei is smiling, Sansa knows she does not believe her, not even for a moment.

"You know, Lady Stark, if there is one thing in my life I regret... It is not ever being with the one I truly loved." Cersei speaks from total honesty, saying aloud the words she's never spoken before to anyone. Not even to Jaime. She knows what it will take to sway proud Ned's child into something such as diving head first into an incestual relationship. But she knows the way to sway the young woman, for it was the same way she swayed herself all those years ago. "Someday you will be married to a man who you likely do not love," they are both reminded of a similar conversation, one they had shared before her marriage to Joffrey was to take place. "You should experience true love, even just once in your life." These words resonate with her and Cersei knows it. Her blue eyes widen and she opens her mouth as if she means to speak, but cannot find the words. "We cannot help who we love," Cersei says, though now she wonders if she's still speaking to Sansa, but rather to herself. "But if any love was so truly wrong, why would the Gods allow us to feel it in the first place?"

Sansa's heart beat has not ceased in it's pace, but a slow realization is dawning upon her as she listens to Cersei's words. There is meaning behind them and she knows, those words are not meant only for her. She recalls the rumors spread just before her father was beheaded, rumors about the truth of Joffrey and his siblings parentage. The truth about Cersei and her brother, Jaime. There is a part of her that worries this is just a trap, a set up to catch her and Jon in the act, something that would earn them the scorn and disgust of all of King's Landing and likely the North.

And yet...

You should experience true love, even just once in your life... Those are the words she's replaying in her brain, over and over again, knowing that Cersei was right. It would not be long before a marriage was made for her, one that would likely be loveless and political, one that would do nothing for her but everything for the Lannister's. Without her father or mother or even Robb to protect her from such a fate, she would be doomed to marry a man of Cersei's choosing.

When she's dismissed a few minutes later, Sansa wastes no time.

Shae, who has waited for her outside Cersei's room for her, rises up from where she sits on the windowsill. "Find Jon for me, won't you?" She asks in an undertone, to which her lady stares back at her for a long moment before she nods. If there was anyone she could trust with what she was about to do, it would be Shae.

Once she's back within her own chamber, she brings herself to stand before the looking glass, staring at her own reflection. She knows that doing what she's about to do will change everything, but she knows she cannot go on in life without knowing what it will feel like to be held by a man that truly loves her. If she can only taste his love this one time, then she will go willingly into any marriage presented to her, for Jon's love she will carry with her for the rest of her life.

A knock on the door comes.

By the time she's turned around, the door has opened and it's Jon standing there. He's staring at her, taking her in as he always does, those Stark colored eyes enough to bring her to her knees. "Sansa," he greets, feeling just as she does, the shift in what lays between them. She crosses the room as he does and so they meet at the center, a minimal distance between them. The blue damask gown suits her in a way he cannot describe and he's, as always, struck by her beauty. Somewhere behind them, Shae quietly ducks into the antechamber, out of sight, out of mind- but there all the same.

There's so many things she wants to say, so many things she needs for him to hear. But the words do not come, no matter how hard she wills them to. And so, instead, she does the only other thing that makes any sense; she kisses him. She kisses him with as much passion as she can muster and he falls into it, his arms winding around her only so he might pull her closer. When he breaks free moments later, it's to stare into her eyes, to ask her one single thing. "Are you certain?" She nods.

That's all he needs.

This time, he's the one to kiss her, leaning in to capture her mouth with his. One hand remains perched at the small of her back, though the other one slides into her hair, uncaring of the pins he knocks loose. She's kissing him back, meeting his tongue with her own, the sensations rushing through her body unlike anything she's ever felt before.

It does not take long before they stand at the side of her bed, the canopy hangings pushed aside so Jon might sit upon the edge. He beckons her closer and she comes to stand between his knees, allowing him to turn her around so her back instead faces him. Then, she feels his hands as they begin to loosen the laces of her blue gown until it begins to slip over her shoulders. That is when she turns back around to face him and she allows the gown to fall to the floor at her feet, all so she might stand there in nothing but her chemise.

And then, Jon draws her down into the bed, and into his arms.

[silkling]

Of Mistakes Past and Missing Home

Of Moments of Life AU

———————————————————————————————————

“You enjoy painting.”

The voice came from behind Boulder, and the unexpectedness of it made him startle. Which, in turn, made him jerk and drag his paintbrush across his canvas. The result of which was him turning a small cloud above a red and orange flower field into a streak that cut through the whole picture. Oops. That wasn’t what he’d been intending.

He turned to see who had spoken, his optics shuttering with surprise when he realized it was Dreadwing. He was quick to realize that the Seeker’s expression had quickly shifted to one of regret.

“I apologize, youngling. It seems I caused you to ruin your art.”

Boulder only smiled, shaking his helm. “It’s no big deal.” he assured. “Part is the artistic process is making mistakes and having to start over. I did it a lot, in the beginning.” He glanced at the canvas, tilting his helm. “But that doesn’t mean every mistake requires you to start over from scratch. That’s the great thing about painting.” he remarked distractedly, tilting his helm in the other direction. “Sometimes, a mistake can be turned into something new, maybe even something better.” he narrowed his optics, then they lit up with a realization. “Sometimes,” he repeated. “All you need,” he reached out, then turned the canvas around so what had once been the flower field was now at the top of the painting. “Is a new perspective.”

When he glanced back, Dreadwing didn’t seem to understand. Boulder smiled. “Let me show you.”

He picked up his paintbrush again, then lifted it and in a few short strokes he added to the stripe that sliced through the picture he’d been painting. He changed colors, adding some more careful strokes around that, and stepped back. It would need refining, but the shape and idea of what he was going for were there.

“See? It’s a feather in the sunset, now.”

Dreadwing only blinked. “I suppose, though I’m afraid I do not much understand art. I always preferred to read data pads and learn about various fields of study.” There was a pause. “Skyquake enjoyed art.” It was a quiet addition.

Boulder found his smile softening. “Yeah? You’ll have to tell me about it sometime.” he encouraged. He glanced at his canvas. “I like art. There’s no set way to do it and there’s not much penalty for making mistakes. It’s nice.”

The Seeker hummed. “Do you believe most mistakes can be fixed with a new perspective?”

Boulder blinked, frowning. There was something off in Dreadwing’s tone. The others might not pick up on it, but he was good with other bots. He always had been. “…this isn’t just about painting anymore, is it?”

Dreadwing startled, surprise making his field flare. “You are far more perceptive than your teammates.” he said after a moment.

Blades smiled, turning to fully face the flyer. “Blades gets too anxious and wrapped up in his own helm to really pick up on more subtle emotions, Chase can barley understand the complexities of his own feelings, let those of alone others, and Heatwave is too proud and headstrong to really know what to look for. They’re all good bots, and I care about them a lot, but they aren’t the most..”. he searched for the right word. “Emotionally intelligent. Blades can read others really well when he isn’t swept up in his worries, but the other two are a bit hopeless.” He wasn’t saying it to be mean or to criticize. It was just the way his friends were wired, he knew. They were naturally better than him at a lot of other things. It was just how things were.

Dreadwing nodded, acknowledging his words. “You are correct. It is not just about painting. But it is my burden to bare, and I will not trouble you with my struggles.”

Boulder chuckled. “Well that’s a bad idea.” he said lightly. “You’ve already helped us a lot. Chase told the team what you did for him. We’ve all seen what you’ve done for Blades. Why don’t you let us help too? You’re one of us now, it’s gotta be about give and take.”

Dreadwing stared. “Wise words for one so young.” he sighed. “Very well, I will share my thoughts.” he vented harshly, then stared intently at the painting Boulder had been working on. “My mistakes are many, and brutal, and not nearly as neat or benign as a misplaced streak of paint. I suppose I merely cannot see how a new perspective would fix them.” he said after a moment.

Boulder was quiet, before he lifted his gaze. “Can I offer my thoughts?” At Dreadwing’s nod, he continued. “You’ve made a lot of mistakes. You’ve done a lot of terrible things. I don’t doubt that. And I know there are a lot of Autobots who would want to see you pay for those mistakes.” he tilted his helm. “I don’t know the full scope of the War. I don’t know everything you’ve done. But I do know how bad off Cybertron was before we left it.” The Seeker shot him a startled look, and he smiled a little sadly,

“I didn’t join the Rescue Force just because I wanted to help others, Dreadwing. In fact, in the beginning, my motives were entirely selfish.” he explained. “When I got to the age where I’d be expected to work, I was told that my first shift would be at a construction site in Kaon. It scared me. I knew how dangerous construction work was and I knew that even if it didn’t kill me it would kill my spark to be forced into something I hated so much. The only escape, the only chance I had at something different, was the Rescue Force. So I signed up to the Academy, and the day I got in was the day I escaped what I would have suffered through otherwise. The others may not have been as aware of just how bad things were, but…I was from the lower castes, Dreadwing. I knew.” he said quietly.

The Seeker was surprised, his optics wide. He saw how Boulder gradually shrunk in on himself as he spoke, and it made something unpleasant twist in him. The bulldozer was usually more at ease and bright, it didn’t suit him to look so…defeated. After a moment of thought, he put a hand on Boulder’s back and stepped closer. He knew Chase would not want more than this, but Blades preferred hugs as his method of comfort. Dreadwing didn’t know what the little green bot preferred so he wanted to play it safe. His bid seemed to pay off, because Boulder shot him a faint smile.

“What I’m getting at is, I know how bad off Cybertron really was. So even if I don’t know your exact circumstance, I do have an idea of what might have pushed you over the edge. I did originally come from Nyon, after all. Granted, I came from one of its nicer quadrants, but…it was still Nyon.” Boulder sighed. Nyon, at one time, had been the cultural and religious center of Cybertron, rivaling Praxus in beauty and grandeur. But under Zeta Prime, Sentinel’s predecessor, it had fallen into near-total ruin. “You made mistakes, and some bad choices, but you only did it in the end when you were backed into a corner and had nowhere else to go. Your choice was the only one you had that would let you remain alive, and that was wrong. No one should have to choose between death and living life serving a tyrant.”

Dreadwing hadn’t explicitly said any of this, of course. But Boulder was perceptive, like the Seeker himself had said. He’d read between the lines. He had understood what Dreadwing hadn’t been saying. It was one of the reasons he’d so quickly accepted the large bot as a new fixture in their lives. In his optics, this was Dreadwing’s chance at a life he should have had to begin with.

“That doesn’t change what you did, but it adds context. And given that the War destroyed Cybertron and decimated our people…” Which had been another thing Optimus had opted not to tell them. Dreadwing had had to share that particular tidbit. “Well, the War has to end someday, and if it ends in Autobot victory then we can’t afford to lock up every ‘Con. I don’t think there’s enough Cybertronians left for that.”

He realized he hadn’t yet gotten around to answering Dreadwing’s statement, and embarrassment flushed through him. “You made mistakes. That’s true. But context adds perspective. And you have a chance here to prove to anyone in the future who would want to hold your past against you that you can do better. Griffin Rock is your trial run. Heal, relearn how to live without War, and make amends while you’re here. Then, when everything comes to an end and the dust settles, it’ll be a lot harder for people to say that you never tried to make things right or that you’re unwilling to change.” he looked up to meet Dreadwing’s gaze. “Prove to yourself that you can be better than who you used to be, and when the time comes for you to face your mistakes, everyone will see that you have what it takes to make it right.”

Dreadwing was frozen, and Boulder found himself smiling at the hints of shock in his field and gaze. “I…had not considered those points.” the Seeker admitted after a long minute.

Boulder chuckled. “New perspective, remember? I just so happened to be able to provide it. That’s part of the benefit of letting yourself trust and rely on others.”

The flyer shot him an indecipherable look, and nodded. “Thank you for reminding me of that, young one. I have not been able to put such faith in another since I last saw my brother. It is good to be reminded that I do not have to handle my burdens alone.”

Boulder beamed, nodding. His somber mood was seemingly forgotten and he gestured to his painting. “Glad I could help! Now, if you don’t mind, I have sudden inspiration for this and I’d like to finish it.” he said, stepping towards the canvas.

Dreadwing let his hand drop, head tilting. “May I watch?” At Boulder’s nod, he settled on a nearby crate and watched the bulldozer work. It was oddly soothing, seeing the colors go down on the canvas, watching the patterns and shapes form into a familiar image. Into…a very familiar image.

After Boulder finished the sunset and feather, he had begun painting…the Rescue Force Headquarters. And Dreadwing picked up the longing and melancholy in the youngling’s EM field. The Seeker’s spark ached at the bulldozer’s visible grief, and he frowned. So Boulder hadn’t so easily shrugged off his earlier memories of home and his life on Cybertron. Dreadwing was not surprised to see him painting the Rescue Force HQ. From what the youngling had said, it would have been the first place he was truly free of the shackles that had threatened to bind him.

Dreadwing said nothing until Boulder finished and stepped back, and it seemed he hadn’t realized what he’d been painting until then, because when he took in the whole painting his only reaction was to let out a quiet, surprised “Oh.”

Dreadwing stepped closer, letting his own field nudge at Boulder’s, and upon finding no protest he let it curl around the youngling. Boulder’s vocalizer clicked and reset itself before he was able to speak. “I hadn’t realized…”

Dreadwing hummed softly. “You miss it.” he could tell in the aching and longing that all but swamped the bulldozer.

“I don’t know why. Like I told you, I didn’t have the happiest beginnings back on Cybertron. But I still miss it. All of it, not just the Rescue Force. Nyon, too.” he said in a whisper.

Dreadwing put a hand on his back, keeping his field soft and soothing. “It is only logical. It was your home. It shaped you and created the foundation for who you are. And I doubt all of your young life was horrible. You said you came from the better areas of Nyon.”

Boulder nodded. “Yeah.” he admitted. “The All Spark Day celebrations were always amazing. And the bots were great. We all had the same origins and the same troubles so we all just…came together. We were…like a community.” he said softly. “We all took care of each other and helped each other and even if the city wasn’t always the best, the neighborhood we lived in was actually alright, for Nyon anyway. I never starved, even if I didn’t always have the best fuel. My life wasn’t great, but…it wasn’t horrible either. I miss all the good things.”

Dreadwing bowed his head. He couldn’t fully relate. He had had no such struggles in Vos, at least not until the Senate had banned any from leaving the city, but he could understand the longing. “Cybertron is dead, but it’s children are not. And hope for our home is not gone either. Perhaps one day there will be a way to return, and even if not, we still live. Once this War ends, it will be possible to keep the life of Cybertron’s heart and culture alive, even if the planet itself cannot be repaired.” he said softly. “You did not get to know Cybertron’s death as the rest of us did, for we knew our home was dying with each day the War dragged on. We had time to come to terms with the loss. You were forced to be confronted with it in a single, harsh day. The rest of us lost Cybertron in pieces, and you lost it all at once. The loss is harder on you than it ever was on me, or any other Cybertronian involved in the War.”

He paused to let the youngling take in all he was saying, the hand on his back smoothing up and down his tightly clamped armor plating. His tone gentled. “I cannot give you back your home, and I know that reminding you of your new home here on Earth will not make the ache go away. So I will only say this: grieve as much as you want for what you lost. Mourn what you were not able to have and the things you will never get back. If you deny yourself that much, you hurt only yourself.”

Boulder was shaking faintly, his frame just a few degrees too warm from the overwhelming force of the grief was processor was buckling under, and his optics threatening to leak cooling fluid in response. He turned a wide, shining look on to the Seeker. His field probed at Dreadwing’s as if asking for comfort, and his vocalizer clicked and reset itself before he actually was able to speak. “…Blades said you give good hugs.” he said quietly, his field holding the softest undercurrent of hope.

Dreadwing only hummed, gaze softening. So that was Boulder’s preferred form of comfort. He nodded, then wrapped his arms around the shaking youngling and pulled him close to his chest.

As Boulder trembled and let himself finally mourn the loss of his home, he found only one thought on his mind.

‘He really does give good hugs.’

———————————————————————————————————

And here’s the next installment in the “of moments in life” AU! I hope everyone liked it! This was fun! I have so much inspiration for this AU you have no idea.

Boulder is the most well adjusted of all the Rescue Bots. That’s why I figured he’d be the best one to help Dreadwing with his own issues. But, even then, he’s still just a kid! A kid who woke up out of a very long nap to learn that his planet is dead and everything he’s ever known has been destroyed. He hid it well, but that shook him hard.

Dreadwing now has THREE children! All he needs now to complete the set is the fire truck! He also needs proper one-on-one bonding time with his helicopter child because their first real binding experience was with everyone watching. So there is that!

Until next time, friends!

[arachine]

this is gonna be silly, and I’m sorry :(( I’m not very good at communicating.

where did you learn to write? the way you write is just so.. unique. I’ve never been able to actually envision the words that are written in books and stories until I found you. I’m sorry if this is weird, or makes you uncomfortable, I’m very stupid sometimes and don’t know boundaries. but I’d like to write someday, and you’re an inspiration. so any tips, anecdotes, pointers.

no this isn’t silly at all!! kinda got carried away but i really wanted to answer your question in the best way i could 💞

i’ve always excelled in english throughout my middle school/high school years, and i had really good teachers that encouraged me to write on my free time and stuff like that, which helped me hone my skill.

i think a big part of it is already having an interest in it, and having the strength to push yourself to get better. like if you’re writing for clout, then you won’t see the results you desire, but if you write because you have genuine interest in it and it’s something you’re passionate about, then you will see lot of improvement.

for the envisioning part, i usually like to write scenes by describing them in the most dramatic ways ever. i like to use the five senses as a guide. so, if i’m writing a kiss scene, i’ll maybe describe how it felt. were their lips soft, rough, wet, or dry? then i might describe how it tasted. did it taste sweet, salty, or maybe a mix of both? (these are just two examples but you should get the gist).

if i’m writing a scene where reader is about to confess, i might build it up and add in a lot of filler. how long have they known each other? how long has she been in love with them? why is she confessing? this might sound silly but if you write out your fics like essays and outline them with questions to hit, it can help a lot with specific scenes that you want to be impactful.

to add onto what i said before, you can never have too much detail or too much background. it’s always a good thing to describe to your audience what both of the characters are feeling, the things they’re seeing, or how they might react to something in the moment. it creates good flow in fics and helps to make it less choppy.

also, gonna go on a tangent here so bear with me, but my relationship with writing wasn’t always the best. i used to actively compare myself a lot to other writers and it would honestly demotivate me and push me into periods of writer’s block. when you’re surrounded by a lot of talented people, especially on an app like this that heavily relies on reblogs/notes, it can be really easy to feel inadequate. but you have to remind yourself that it’s not you, or your writing, it’s just the algorithm and people suck at supporting authors.

[amydancepants-peralta]

in the spirit of 4/28: if you’re willing to write non-peraltiago POV, could you maybe write the moment(s) that leas terry to decide he needed to tell jake to propose?

Terry loves love ♥

It all comes to Terry a few weeks after the squad captured the fugitives, on what seems like just another Friday night at Shaw’s.

(Which hardly feels like the ideal setting for an epiphany, but Terry supposes that’s what makes it so … epiphanic.)

It had been a long week - New York seemed to be feeling particularly felonious lately - and he was doubly tired from spending his Wednesday off helping Jake move apartments. With Sharon and the kids staying overnight at her mother’s, and high odds for a sleep-in the following morning, Terry’s plans didn’t stretch much further than washing his week away with a glass of whiskey or six.

That is until Terry noticed, about an hour into the squad’s drinking session; that a suddenly quiet Jake had removed himself from their booth, relocating to a seat by the bar where he could keep a close eye on the entrance. Amy was late - a rarity for any Santiago, but doubly so for Amy - and as Boyle plonks a fresh glass in front of him; Terry remembers watching her bolt out of the bullpen a few hours ago, a sudden lead on an otherwise dormant case too important to delay.

Terry hadn’t heard any updates since then; but given the lack of detailed reports landing in his inbox, and the look on Jake’s face whenever he checked his messages, he would have to assume the lead hadn’t panned out the way Amy hoped.

He’s in the midst of an argument with Rosa over which Friends character was superior (clearly Ross - Terry does not get all the Ross Hate) when Amy arrives ten minutes later, and Terry watches from his position in the corner as she heads straight towards Jake’s outstretched arms, her sense of defeat stretched clearly across sunken shoulders.

As though reverting to his detective days, Terry continues to observe the couple as Jake orders his girlfriend a beer, leading her over to another booth and sliding alongside her until their heads bow in quiet conversation. He thinks, as they talk and he sips, that there was once a time where Amy would have spent the rest of her evening at the precinct, pouring over paperwork, certain it’s the reason why they can’t catch the perp. Just as Jake would have taken the opportunity to boldly declare how he could have done it better - consequences (and unintentionally, feelings) unconsidered.

But now, Amy laughs with her head thrown back while Jake beams with pride; and in the past year or so has been known - after three drinks - to steal her boyfriend away to a slightly more secluded corner of the bar, dancing cheek to cheek to music only the two of them can hear.

It truly was the greatest thing to see, and part of Terry wishes he’d picked up on it sooner.

He watches Jake and Amy for the rest of the evening - even if they weren’t in the bullpen, these people were his work family, and Terry would look out for them anywhere - and as the empties begin to pile up at the squad’s table, the most simplest of truths comes to light. Somewhere along the way - in-between fire extinguisher roller chair derbies, robot captains and covert jimmy jabs - Jake Peralta had transformed into the man that Terry had always known he could be.

Gone was the promising detective that hadn’t quite figured out the puzzle on how to grow up, monopolising too much time in Terry’s therapy sessions. And in his place was one of the 99’s greatest detectives: a brilliant mind at solving puzzles, and a gentle soul who brought two extra gifts to last year’s Secret Santa, ‘just in case Scully and Hitchcock forgot again’.

Who's grin grew impossibly huge each time he’d said the words ‘our apartment’ since the move three days ago. A man who couldn’t get over Amy after that very first crush - no matter how hard he tried - because just like when Terry met Sharon, and they talked about Meatloaf until the bar closed around them; your heart always knows when you’ve found The One.

Jake had grown into someone that finally understood how worthy he was of love, and had a world of it to give in return. A man that was clearly ready to marry the love of his life - the one and only Amy Santiago - and her eyes already sparkled with an unspoken yes to any question of forever.

He thinks about the conversation they had that day in the squad car, racing to find escaped convicts and venting about wasted acrylics; and Jake’s muttered ‘Cool. Basically telling me to never get married or have kids’ in response. Terry hadn’t been lying - a march towards the closet does begin with a single step - but he’d neglected to mention all the great things that came with that closet.

Like coming home to see Sharon and the girls dancing to Destiny’s Child in the living room, or late afternoon naps with tiny heads snuggled into your side. Chaotic mornings filled with stress that melted away the instant you heard “I love you, Daddy”; and treasured moments of peace with Sharon, the couch, and a bottle of wine.

Terry would give up all the acrylics in the world for a hundred more moments just like that - and as the last drop of whiskey drains from his glass, he knows exactly what he needs to do.

***

Terry calls Sharon on the way home - waiting until he’s said goodnight to each one of his angels before telling her his plan. “So. I think Jake should propose to Amy.”

He can almost hear her smile down the phone line, and it makes him wish they’d be back from Sharon’s mother’s sooner. “You do?”

He shrugs into the otherwise empty interior, flexing his grip on the steering wheel out of habit. “Yeah. They’re clearly in love with each other, and … you know. He has that look.”

Sharon laughs - the same laugh Terry heard from his kitchen one morning, a year into their relationship, and just knew that he wanted to hear it for the rest of his life - before asking, “What look?”

“You know. The one I kept giving you when we first started dating. Like I’d finally found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. So excited and completely scared that somebody could try and take it away.”

“Mmm, I know it well. And when it comes to Jake and Amy, somebody almost did .. right?”

Nodding, Terry thinks of the afternoons he’d find Amy crying in her car, the devastation of another day not knowing where Jake was hiding too hard to conceal for another minute. “Yeah. Almost.”

“Well … if you didn’t try and play cupid, you wouldn’t be the man I married, Terrence Jeffords.”

Terry’s shoulders bounce as he breaks into a tiny happy dance, and he grins. “Terry loves love, baby. Almost as much as Terry loves Sharon.”

“I love you too, baby. And we’ll be back home the day after tomorrow, just in time for you to hatch a plan on how to play matchmaker with my god-husband. I have a pretty good instinct he’ll make a great actual husband … and hopefully it’s someday soon. I am ready for a night of serious dancing.”

* * *

Terry wears his lucky red tie the following Monday, settling into his desk to focus on paperwork as the question of exactly how his plan will unfold remains unanswered at the back of his mind.

Before it’s even 10am, he manages to catch five not-so-secret glances between the two lovebirds (a private joke of some sort dancing in their grins); and pretends to be pre-occupied with his work when Amy sneaks in a quick good luck kiss before Jake leaves for the interrogation room. Terry watches it all with a suppressed grin, switching between several versions of his How To Encourage A Proposal plan as he signs off on the last form in his tray.

These two were clearly in love - and Terry couldn’t wait to see them take that next amazing step.

He catches Jake in the kitchen an hour later, watching as the detective rescues the puzzle section of Scully’s newspaper from certain destruction, placing it on Amy’s desk with a grin. As they stop to discuss Ocampo - a dealer that Jake and Rosa have just begun to tail - all of Terry’s pre-conceived plans of a casual topic change fall quickly by the wayside. As it turns out, telling a person they should propose is not something that comes up easily on it’s own.

And then he opens the fridge for his next scheduled snack, and realises that all this time, Terry’s inspiration was waiting in the very things he cherished the most.

The blueberry and vanilla yogurt containers feel cool against his fingertips, and with his stomach growling at the promise of a delicious meal, Terry nudges the door shut with his hip and calls out to his detective.

“Hey, Jake. Let me show you something amazing.”

(Terry really does believe that yoghurt is the solution to everything.)

[kaito-is-baby]

hey! :) can i request the thh boys + kyoko and aoi finding their s/o dancing/singing with cleaning or doing chores cue embarrassment and cuteness :,) ty and i hope you're having a great day

You totally can and I actually thank you because I love them! And also I love this idea, I personally have some headcanons about how some of thh characters would react to it so I'm so happy you request it ^_^ And~ Thank you so so much! I'm having a great day and your request made it even better~

DR1 BOYS + KYOKO AND AOI FINDING THEIR S/O SINGING AND DANCING WHILE CLEANING

Makoto Naegi

•He heard a humble near but didn't really know where it came from

•But he knew it sounded amazing

•Maybe it was Sayaka?

•Nah, it wasn't Sayaka's voice tone

•But definitely whoever was singing could have been the ultimate singer

•And when he finds his S/O being the one singing it's just too cute for him

•He felt so... special for once in his life

•He was super in love with someone voice and it was yours! That was like destiny making his ears just for your voice

•He complimented you during the whole day later

•And encouraged you to keep on singing

•Maybe you could improve even more and join Sayaka's or Ibuki's band... who knows

•He asked you when did you learn how to sing

•And you two spended hours sharing music related stories and cuddling in bed

Leon Kuwata

•Oh boy he is dead of cuteness the moment he sees you

•Literally when he realizes it's you who is singing his heart skips a heartbeat

•You are singing and dancing

•You are SINGING

•He loves the idea of you singing...

•You could teach him how to reach the notes or even be a part of his band when he finally forms one

•He had never heard you sing before

•And wow you are GOOD

•He is just so happy and mesmerised by your voice...

•Before you can't notice that he is there he is hugging you from behind

•Lifting you in his arms and making you laugh out of surprise

•You aren't really understanding what is going on

•But well, you aren't going to reject one of your boyfriend's hugs, right?

•He is so excited and find you so cute that he won't let you go in a while

•Complimenting your singing all the time and asking you to sing with him someday

•He also teases you a little

•But as a joke, he loves your voice!

•And since that moment everytime he finds you singing while doing minor tasks he joins you

•Singing whatever you are mumbling and even dancing with you

•So you two end up singing and goofing around, playing and dancing like if you were giving a concern

•You have to admit that cleaning with him is much funnier than doing it alone

•Even if he doesn't clean at all and it takes you a lot longer, it is worth it

•He is too much of an idiot, but god you really love YOUR idiot

Byakuya Togami

•Togami doesn't have an easy time falling sleep

•He has too many things on his mind to relax and if he manages to do so he ends up having nightmares about his siblings or his father or just his corporation falling apart

•Many times those nightmares are about losing you but he won't tell you or admit it

•And when he found you singing he didn't gave it any importance

•He let you sing until he grabbed a book and started reading

•Then he asked you to shut up making you feel pretty embarrassed and stupid

•But that same night he asked you to sing him to sleep

•"Darling, try humming something, It will help me to fall asleep"

•You couldn't hide your smile, of course

•So you just took him in your arms and humbled for him

•And you could hear a very sleepy Togami whisper something alike "Thanks, you are good at it" before falling deeply asleep

Mondo Oowada

• He was working on his motorbike, fixing things and so outside his workshop

•Because it's hot inside and even more if he is working

•And he started hearing a beautiful beautiful voice coming from the other side of the door

•It was for real a very cute voice singing a song about... being in love with a criminal?

•I don't think Mondo has ever listened to queen Britney Spears but come on, we all know that song fits him and S/O should sing it

•But he wasn't going to let that amazing voice distract him from the fact that someone entered his workshop

•He was going to KILL that angel who was singing

•It's when he goes full prepared for a fight into the workshop when he sees you cleaning and singing

•Dancing from one part of the workshop to another, relaying your weigh on the broom you are using

•And then he remembers, he gave you a copy of his workshop keys just in case

•"Damn babe, you really have a hell of a voice"

•With his voice and your surprise the broom breaks failing to support your body

•And luckily your boyfriend is there to catch you in his arms

•You two laugh at it and he soon tells you about how he had forgot you got the keys and thought someone had sneak in

•Wow, he really is tired

•"Come on babe, let's go to your room, get some sleep, some cuddles and maybe later you can give me a motorbike ride and show me how you fixed it? Maybe even eating something out?"

•"Oh, fuck, yes baby, I really need a rest and a good date"

I'm going to end it here and make a second part at some point... I really want to post this and I think I will be a whole week writting it so just.. wait for the 2 and 3 part if your favourite characters aren't here, they all will be written at some point, I promise

Also, yes, this 4 boys are probably my easiest ones to write aaand I made my baby Leon way too long, I can't help it he just inspires me so much lmao

[ladyloveandjustice]

Fall 2020 Anime Overview

I started out watching the a ton of anime for the Fall 2020 season, but then ended up not being caught up with most of them by the the time the end rolled around. I still pretty much intend to catch up with Yashahime Princess Half Demon someday (I do like the three leads, it just the plot’s been dull as dirt and the fights aren’t very inspired either) and though I dropped Wandering Witch after bad press started rolling in (I CANNOT deal with pointless tragedy in my current state of mind) I might check out a few more episodes someday just to from my own opinion. For now, let’s just quickly review the anime I DID manage to finish on time this season.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle is exactly what it says on the tin: Princess Syalis isn’t too bothered about being captured by demons and locked in their castle, but she does value a good night’s sleep, and she is absolutely ruthless when it comes to getting it- so ruthless, in fact, that the demons realized it might not be that she’s trapped in here with them, but that they’re trapped in here with her.

Sleepy Princess is top tier comedy comfort food. It rarely got a huge belly laugh, but it always but a smile on my face and was a great thing to watch before going to bed. Syalis’s single-minded search for some shut eye is a joke that could have gotten old very quickly, but the show consistently found creative ways to expand on the gags and build it’s world and a fun cast of characters along the way. 

Though Syalis is downright brutal to the demons when it comes to getting what she wants (and has a knack for getting herself killed at well), thanks to a demon cleric that offers easy resurrections, you never feel too bad for anyone involved. In fact, the demons and Syalis form a strangely heartwarming bond over the course of the show , and it’s clear by the end that Syalis definitely has the ability to come and go if she damn well pleases and just finds this castle a fun place where she can find respite from her princessly responsibilities. 

A nice bonus for those of us who like a little subversion is that the show has a lot of fun playing with standard adventure tropes- the demons often lament that Syalis is not at all what they expected from a captive princess, for one, but my favorite fun little twist is how Syalis feels about the hero currently on a (seemingly endless) quest to rescue her- she manages to both hold him in contempt AND consistently fail to remember his name. That level of disregard takes some impressive effort.

The show has the same director as the Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun anime and as such has a similarly nice comic and visual flourishes throughout. It definitely gets two sleepy thumbs up for me.

Jujutsu Kaisen

Jujutsu Kaisen follows a young man named Yuuji Itadori who, after tangling with a demon, ends up with one inside him. With a death sentence hanging over his head, he’s inducted into a school for “jujutsu sorcerers”, and begins training to use his newfound powers to defeat demons and curses.

Jujutsu Kaisen quickly tells you on no uncertain terms it is Action Shonen, introducing a huge cast of a characters and powers and super high stakes and hey there’s even gonna be a tournament arc soon. It is really, really pretty to look at, with a killer opening and ending, some seriously great animation and cool visuals for the fights especially. But is it particularly memorable otherwise? Noooooot really, so far. The sea of technobabble it tends to descend into when trying to explain how the various powers work often has me zoning out and wishing they’d just let me watch the pretty punches. The villains and the general plot isn’t particularly compelling. The characters are nice enough, but haven’t given me much to be attached to so far. Though I do appreciate this one dude who is the embodiment of millennial ennui:

I’ll keep watching though, because it is a visually stunning, action-y thing to my turn your brain off to and god knows I want to turn my brain off all the time lately. 

And the characters do have potential- the One Girl of the main group, Nobara, has a really fun personality in that she’s a total shitlord doofus brawler who can thus doof around with our equally dumbass protagonist, which is an pretty fun, unusual personality for the One Girl to have! Her interactions with Maki, the weapons expert senpai girl, are promising too. I’m just waiting for her to actually, you know, DO something that really shows off her skills- I’m told she DOES eventually get to (gasp) win fights on her own and do cool stuff, but so far show has kind at that of failed miserably and underused her like most action shonen underuse their girls. Plus, taking Yuuji out of the group for such a long stretch seems like a weird choice, we’ve been deprived really seeing him for relationships with his peers. The pacing seems off. But maybe the upcoming tournament arc will make up for that and actually be worthwhile!

Talentless Nana

In a world where kids with superpowers are sent to island schools to fight mysterious “enemies of humanity”, one class of such kids is thrown into chaos when they find themselves targeted by a deadly force.

It’s pretty much impossible to talk about Talentless Nana without discussing how it deviates dramatically from what its premise appears to be in episode one, so I’ll just say if you like stories with superpowers and intrigue, you should definitely sit through that first episode and see if the plot that’s eventually revealed is something that you’re here for. But if you want to avoid spoilers, DON’T GO BELOW THE CUT, because I’m about to get very spoilery.

Basically, Talentless Nana pulls a bait and switch, starting it’s first episode posing as generic superhero anime where the protagonist appears to be your standard meek-but-powerful anime boy (Nanao) who just needs some support and encouragement from a pink haired mind reading manic pixie dream girl (Nana) to unlock his self-confidence and ~true power~ (ugh)...only to take SHARP swerve when  Nana ruthlessly murders Nanao and reveals she’s been sent by the government to take out the superpowered kids one by one because THEY are the considered the true enemies of humanity. Oh, and she doesn’t have any superpowers, or “talents”- she was just able to sus out everything Nanao was thinking through basic deductive reasoning because he was so flippin’ obvious and basic.

As my love for a certain character in a certain game may have clued people into, I am ALWAYS delighted when what appears to be a generic, underwritten girlfriend character is then revealed to be an interesting, ruthless mastermind. And having an anime appear to be about a bland boy with a Dream Girlfriend but then actually turn into a show about a deeply cynical, morally dubious girl who’s clearly holding down a lot of messy feelings as she considers everyone her enemy...well, it may be a cheap trick to some, but it also feels a little bit like justice for all the underwritten female characters sacrificed to bland male leads. It’s still rare enough that I dig it when it happens. And the metatext of Nana zeroing in on this kid as the most standard of main character boys, assessing him as the biggest threat because of it and knowing the perfect way to take him out, is pretty inherently funny to me.

But if the show JUST banked on that twist and was about Nana brutally and cynically slaughtering these kids, it would get boring quickly and Nana would be a bland character herself. Fortunately, it doesn’t go that route. Nana struggles and grows a lot over the course of the show. She finds opposition in transfer student Kyoya, a stoic (and socially awkward) young man who pretty quickly becomes suspicious of her. A lot of the tension from the early episodes comes from her sweating as she tries to outmaneuver him and she makes plenty of mistakes along the way. She also slowly but surely starts to question her mission, and we get an idea of her backstory and how the government specifically has groomed her into believing people with powers to be evil. That belief is one that’s challenged by her friendship with another girl, and it’s pretty rewarding to watch Nana’s feelings and world expand little by little.

The show is definitely a little schlocky-some of the plots (as well as the general premise of the government thinking this is the optimal way to get rid of their superpowered kids problem) fall apart if you think too much about them, and some of the kids Nana goes up against are sleazy and unlikeable in over the top ways (which makes it easy for her to stick to her convictions all these kids deserve to die at first). In particular, I have to give a heads up for some sleazy guys doing and saying sleazy things, though the show never gets too overbearing or graphic with it (and the gore is generally PG-13 level as well). 

Basically. There are some truly ridiculous happenings in this show. But how ridiculous and pulpy and over the top it is can be part of the appeal, and it’s fun to just sit back and watch the spectacle of Nana and her peers head-scratching machinations. 

So, while certainly not an anime with airtight construction or flawless quality and depth, I found Nana an overall entertaining watch, especially as a fan of cat-and-mouse murder-y shenanigans, and thought it has a very compelling main character and managed to end on a heartwrenching (but earned) note. I definitely wouldn’t say no to a second season and would be interested to see where things go from here.

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - Katelynw93

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

“Don’t Be Koi About It” - All About You

Name: Katelyn, but most people call me Kate, Katie or sometimes even Kat.

Age: 27

Location: Originally from Kansas, but have been located in Upstate NY for the last six years.

URL: @katelynw93​

Why did you choose your URL: It’s usually the username that I use for everything and if I’m being honest, I’m not very creative when it comes to titles or names. Lol. I’ve been meaning to change it; I just need to decide on what.  

What inspired you to become a writer: Well, when I was in middle school (maybe seventh or eighth grade), my best friend and I decided to write a story together and post it on a fanfiction site (Can’t remember the site name, though.) And I just loved it. We never did finish that story. Lol. But eventually I started branching out and found some roleplay writing sites.  

How long have you been writing: Started writing in middle school (2006/2007), but really got into it in 2009 with RP. However, September of this year (2020) was the first year I started really writing fics by myself and opening posting them. 

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? I work a lot, usually an average of 40+ hours a week; I am a manager at a popular food chain restaurant and on the weekends, a cashier at a gas station to provide a little extra cash for my family. When I’m not working, my time is spent with my two kids; Alekzander (Zander) who just turned five this past November and Lincoln (Link) who will be two in February. Outside of work and my family, I’m usually writing. Sometimes if I’m feeling extra creative or inspired, I’ll create a few crackships for couples I really enjoy. Lol. 

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? I actually found Supernatural around the same time I started writing, so back in ninth grade, so 2008/2009. It was honestly an accident too, because I was searching for Smallville episodes (I have an unhealthy addiction to Superman and DC/Marvel.) and stumbled upon an ad for Supernatural. Was instantly intrigued and fell in love. Seasons 1 - 5 (the Kripke era) are my favorite. 

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? Oh yea, I love TV shows and movies, and as I’ve already stated above, I love DC and Marvel. I’ve also written for Grey’s Anatomy and am willing to write for more, but SPN, DC and Grey’s are currently the only ones I’ve written for. I love The Vampire Diaries, One Tree Hill, Private Practice, Station 19, 9-1-1, Game of Thrones, The Witcher, Merlin, Dexter, Psych, and so, so many more. There are too many to list. Lol.  

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? Other than RPing, not really. I mean, I did try to do an original story with my friend when I was younger, but it never went anywhere. But I am willing to try someday. 

Favorite published author: Other than the really big authors like; J.K. Rowling, George R.R. Martin, Jim Butcher, Nicholas Sparks, Suszanne Collins, I really like (and maybe it’s cliche) Stephenie Meyer. The Twilight Saga made me fall in love with reading and eventually, that love led me to writing. Those books hold a special place in my heart.  

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: Well, I guess I sort of answered that one already. But there truly are so many amazing books out there and still so many more to discover. 

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc): Oh man, I’m not gonna lie, a majority of what I read is probably smut. But I am particularly fond of angst. I want you to make me cry. Really dig and stab into my emotions. Lol. And then come back in with some fluff. Haha. 

Favorite piece of your own writing: Well, that would have to be Sweet Cherry Pie because it was really the first piece I’ve ever finished and published online. It was inspired by an RP that I am currently involved in and they are my favorite couple in said RP. It got so much positive feedback after I shared it that it inspired me to keep writing. I was so nervous about posting it, but I am glad I did. 

Most underrated fic you have written: Oh I’m not sure. Maybe Love Bites. I am a sucker for Supernatural and The Vampire Diaries crossovers. I really loved writing this fic and am eager to write more. 

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Oh damn, um, it’d be cool to see any of them like that. But maybe Sweet Cherry Pie or Out of the Fire (my firefighter!Dean series).  

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): There are so many, but I usually find myself reading work from; @impala-dreamer​, @katehuntington​  @deanwanddamons​, @muchamusedaboutnothing​.  

Favorite Fic from another writer: This one is tough because there are so many amazing fics out there, especially ones that I adddddore; but if forced to choose, one story that will always stick with me would have to be Treacherous by @idkhaylijah​ OR The Sullivan Series by Kate Huntington 

Favorite character to write: Dean Winchester. I adore Dean and he’s probably the easiest for me to write. I have written the most fics with him and I portray him often in the RPs that I do. 

Favorite Pairing to write: Dean with anyone, but my favorite would be Dean x Caroline. 

Least favorite character to write (and why): That’s a tough one, cause there’s not really any that I’m uncomfortable with or dislike writing. Maybe characters with accents, because I don’t really know how to capture that in writing yet? I’m pretty open with my writing and am willing to try mostly anything. 

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? Oh definitely. When I first started RPing, there was another girl (Jocelyn) that I used to write with and she influenced a lot of my writing. She was older than me and had more experience and gave me a lot of tips on how to get better. She is an amazing writer and had the potential of going far with it, but life happens and unfortunately, she doesn’t write anymore. But she is booming on Youtube, so that’s pretty impressive. It’s pretty cool to see how far she’s come. 

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? I used to want to be a journalist when I was younger, but other than that, not really. I just want to have fun with it and write something meaningful for someone, and always improve and get better.  

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: I have a few ideas jotted down, maybe ten, but I haven’t actually started any of them. I have so many bingo cards I need to finish, but with my work schedule, it’s been pretty crazy. 

What are you currently working on? My main project is Out of the Fire.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? Definitely the RPing that I’ve done and am currently doing. My friend Alesha has been the longest RP partner that I’ve had and her writing is phenomenal - and it helps a lot too when your mind's work in similar ways; her and I always seem to be on the same wavelength when it comes to writing. I love it. But like me, she has a very busy schedule and writing is limited. 

Best writing advice you've been given: Have fun with it, write what you want to write and always be open to helpful criticism. And don’t stress about it, either. Write in your own time. It’s meant to be fun, not stressful. 

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Just finding the time to write and getting over being so self conscious about my writing. I don’t let anyone in my real life read what I write.  

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction? Just capturing the personalities of the canon characters sometimes; if it’s a character I’m not used to writing, I worry about portraying them the right way. And I have trouble individualizing the characters (separating them from myself/my own personality), like when I create an OC for an RP, sometimes when I have too many, their personalities all become the same in ways (if that makes sense?). And accents. I have trouble with accents. Oh, and fight/action scenes. They take me a bit.  

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): I am always going to be afraid, no matter what it is that I’m writing, because I worry about it succeeding. I want to write for other fandoms though, I guess, but like I said, I worry about capturing the characters right and having a decent storyline that is unique. 

What inspires/motivates you to write: Honestly, positive feedback. I love hearing what people think about my writing and it motivates me to continue. 

How do you deal with self-doubt: That’s a tough one. I guess I just look towards my writing friends or beta’s for reassurance or I go back and read the positive comments and likes on the fics I’ve already shared. It encourages me to continue. 

How do you deal with writer's block: I usually listen to music and I’ll look up gifs of my favorite characters, create stories in my head with those gifs or I’ll create gif sets of specific scenes. If that doesn’t work, I’ll take a break and watch one of my favorite TV shows for inspiration. 

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: For my RPs, I have a group chat with those I’m writing with and we usually shoot ideas back and forth, but mostly we wing it. For my fics, I normally just wing it, but with Out of the Fire, I have a rough idea of what I want from each part. With that said, my ideas or plans often change as I’m writing. These characters have a mind of their own sometimes. Lol.  

Do you have any weird writing habits: I don’t know about any weird habits, but I always have music on and I guess I have to do it in spurts. I’ll write a few paragraphs or sentences, pause and scroll tumblr or facebook or gifs, and then go back, reread what I wrote and then write a few more. Rise and repeat. 

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? So far, no I haven’t, and I hope I don’t ever have to deal with that. But I know it’s bound to happen. I guess if I were to ever encounter that, I’d like to say that I’ll take it as a learning experience but I honestly don’t know I’d feel about that.  

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic? Oh man, I guess my favorite would have to be ellewritesfix05 reaction to the secret santa fic I wrote for her; Dean Fucking Winchester. And all the positive feedback I’ve gotten for Out of the Fire.

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Have fun with it. Write what you want and what you’re comfortable with. Don’t be afraid of constructive criticism and most importantly, don’t stress. Writing is fun.

[sagemoderocklee]

2020 has been a weird fucking year, to put it mildly. There have been a lot of ups and downs, and with New Year’s Eve and the start of 2021 upon us, focusing on the ~positive~ seemed like a better way to end the year, and hopefully start 2021 feeling inspired and proud for overcoming this horrendous year.

For many people, it was difficult--even impossible--to get anything done this year (myself included), and that’s okay! But if you were able to make progress on writing projects, even if it was just one or even if it was just part of one, you should celebrate that! I wish I’d thought of this sooner and organized it better, but regardless I wanted to celebrate my own accomplishments with regards to my writing, and encourage others to do the same! I was going to tag people, but I’m not sure with it being 2 hours til midnight for me if that would feel like putting too much pressure on others, so if you want to do this too please do!

This wrap up is honestly just a self-indulgent look back on the works I’ve made and what I learned/gained from each, maybe what I don’t like about them, some totaling on what I did, and some resolutions for the next year. It’s silly, but I think it’s kinda fun and if you missed any of the things I have posted this year, you’ll find them here!

2020 Fic Wrap Up:

Kado: Parts II+III (COMPLETED)

Kado was started in September of 2019 for the @puregaalee​ summer event. This was a last minute thing that I started the day the prompt was due and managed to write the first part in about 6 hours while sitting in a cafe--remember that? Sitting in cafes? Man, I miss that. I hadn’t anticipated working on Kado, but I decided that I was going to finish it this year, and I’m honestly amazed that I did. This fic is sweet and fun, and surprisingly popular, though it isn’t my favorite of my works. However, it is a light, fluffy little romcom modern AU, and I learned a lot with it because despite my struggles with modern AUs and their horrible lack of political intrigue, this fic forced me to work within set parameters. I was only writing a 3 part story, and each part could only be 9 scenes long. For those unfamiliar, kado is another term for Ikebana, and in Ikebana there are specific elements to follow. Certain styles will only use three branches, some will use nine. So my goal was for the structural elements of the fic to mimic Ikebana. In doing this, I was able to do something I don’t usually do, which is keep this story more concise.

I’m still not sure how I personally feel about the ending, but I think endings are always a struggle, especially with something like this.

Gate of Dreaming (COMPLETED) 

This is a fic that I started last year, then left to sit untouched with only 2k words. Getting back into it was a bit difficult because I was writing something very different from my usual: stream of consciousness. This fic was very experimental for me not only because of the stream of consciousness, but also because of the changing tenses. This was another exercise--unexpected though it was--in brevity. With this particular story, it couldn’t be dragged on and on, because--despite the 100 year time span--the events take place within the Infinite Tsukuyomi. This was also the first time I’d worked from Lee’s PoV in quite some time, so that was fun because I do enjoy writing him, but usually write from Gaara’s PoV. This is definitely one of my favorites from this year, and since it had been sitting on the back burner for so long, I’m so excited that I could finally get it done.

Another one where the ending really wasn’t easy to achieve, but I did end up liking it more than I expected, and I think the best thing is that it’s open-ended which leaves room for others to guess at what the future holds.

It Eats Your Heart (WIP)

This was an unexpected fic for me in every way imaginable. Starting another fic? Making another modern AU? Tackling the horror genre? None of those were things I’d planned to do this year, but lo and behold, that’s just what I did. I really enjoy a good bit of horror, but it is NOT an easy genre to work within, and this fic has definitely been a push for me. But with it being such a push, the payoff is far more. Stepping out of my comfort zone is something I like doing, but I think this is the biggest step outside of that and I am so incredibly proud of how that first chapter turned out because of it. I was really able to surprise myself with this fic, and I am hoping to update the next chapter early on in the year.

Absolution (WIP)

This fic is probably the second oldest idea/longest unpublished fic I currently have up. Formerly a much longer title, the idea for this fic came to me in May of 2017 when a friend, @brianadoesotherjunk / @brianadoesart, posted a piece of GaaLee fanart that sparked inspiration. The fic took off, morphed into something much bigger than the one scene depicted by the art, and now 3 years later, the first part is up. Initially, this was meant to be a long shot, but after sitting with this for so long, I realized that I needed to split it up into 9 parts, which allowed me to use this for GaaLee bingo and finally publish it. Much of the first part was already written before this year, but I’d been quite stuck on it until now. This is actually probably one of my favorite GaaLee concepts to date. I remember back in the day, there weren’t a lot of different takes on getting Lee to Suna so he and Gaara could fall in love, so (at the risk of sounding cocky) I think that Lee as a nanny is rather inspired. I think with this fic, I pushed myself the hardest to get past the hurdle of writer’s block and accepted that publishing is probably the best way to motivate myself to keep going. The feedback for this fic has been really motivating, so I think I’m probably right about that.

I do think there are some parts in the middle or towards the end that could maybe use some tightening up, but I’m just happy to finally have this fic out in the world.

The Art of Love: Chapter 11 (WIP)

TAoL is such a ridiculous labor of love. The chapters for this fic are novellas in and of themselves, so each time I update it takes a lot of work to get them out. This fic is one of those like magnum opus type fics. I have put so much into it, and I’m honestly amazed that it’s only been up for 3 years because I’m approaching the halfway mark on it, and I don’t think I expected to be there by now. Despite being able to churn out 30k chapters, I have a hard time focusing on one thing and I often struggle with mental health related writer’s block, so big works are always sort of sporadic in their updates. 

This particular update of TAoL was definitely one of my favorites though. Initially, I didn’t plan to go the sort of dark fantasy rout that I did with Shikamaru, but I actually really love what I’ve done with him, though I worry others won’t be as into it or that the execution isn’t quite there. One thing I would like to work on with future chapters of TAoL, however, is maybe pairing things down a bit--though I’m not sure that’ll always be possible. The next chapter is a Naruto PoV chapter, though, so I expect that one to be a MUCH shorter chapter than the last three and should be able to get it out sometime next year.

Before I could publish this chapter, however, I did go through and make some big changes, which is something I often struggle with because of such long breaks in between working on certain projects. I will say, though, that TAoL continues to push me to greater heights as a writer, and I look forward to actually finishing this fic someday.

Thirteen Strokes: 1 + 2 (WIP)

Another unexpected fic this year, however, this one was actually an idea for about a year, unlike IEYH. This fic has really given me a lot of perspective on my own writing and world building, and has inspired me to sit down and really start committing the things I’ve developed to paper to create a cohesive view of Suna, Wind, and the shinobi world. This fic is meant to be a Romance. Like just full on Romance. I write a lot of tragedy and focus on a lot of darker themes in my writing, so while I don’t think of this as stepping outside of my comfort zone, it is very different from my usual, and a really nice change of pace. I think, in all honesty, it is one of my best works, and I do hope I can continue to deliver on the remaining 11 parts of this story.

if this were the last i felt you breathing (COMPLETED)

Ugh. This fic has been my enemy for 2 long years. I signed up for a Secret Santa exchange, and of course, I regretted doing it when I found that I was not motivated and, after the month of October where I was churning out fic after fic for GaaLee Bingo, that I was massively burned out. I wasn’t able to think past writer’s block, and so I ended up settling on dusting off an old, unfinished piece for my giftee, and I hope they can forgive me for not coming up with something brand new for them.

This fic was a struggle. Working so closely with the canon--following the Rescue Kazekage Arc as closely as I did for this fic--made this a much bigger challenge and this fic sat and sat and sat for two years, untouched and incomplete. I’m still not sure how I feel about it. I know it’s not my best work, but I am glad that this fic isn’t hanging over my head and that I was able to deliver something to my secret santa giftee.

My goal with this fic was to rewrite this particular arc from Lee’s PoV to give more depth to the arc and shift the emotional core of it away from Naruto. Naruto as a character has a lot of flaws that never get addressed, and one of the things that is consistently frustrating for me is the way the emotional core of the series rests on him in unrealistic and often superficial ways. Naruto hasn’t spoken to Gaara in three years, but I’m supposed to believe he’s this affected by Gaara’s kidnapping? Temari and Kankuro are right there! Lee is right there! I wanted to see that, so that’s what I set out to do, and ultimately I don’t think I fully succeeded, but I tried. I guess not everything can be a resounding success

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This year I managed to do a lot more than I realized. New works, updates, and COMPLETED pieces?! I never would have thought, but staying home gave me more free time, and when I was too broke to work on costumes, writing fanfiction was something free I could do.

Total new works: 5 Total updates: 9 Total completed works: 3 Total words this year: 143,587

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I have a lot of goals for the coming year, and I know I won’t make all of them, but that won’t stop me from trying.

2021 Writing Resolutions:

Reach 1million words (+238,073 words)

Finish IEYH

Finish Pearl-Filled Lungs

Update TAoL (Chapter 12 and 13)

Update Absolution

Update 13S

Update Find Me (Chapter 6)

Start the Ballad of the Dragon and the Phoenix

Start editing Alliance

Return to working on Honor Bound

Return to working on We Need Not Be Yellow Tulips