#maybe not a single soul will read this but it's ok | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

joelsgoldrush · 1 year ago

Text

swore i heard you whisper that you preferred us like that

joel miller x f!reader / 5,8k words

summary: you ask joel –the quiet, distant joel– to teach you how to ride a horse. they say the eyes are the window to the soul, and it must be true, because when he really sees you, it´s like he finally understands what you feel for him.

warnings: smut 18+ let’s pretend joel never left jackson, porn with plot, no use of y/n, age gap (reader is in her late 20s, joel is 56), grinding, oral (f receiving), fingering, masturbation, pet names, unprotected p in v (don't try this at home ok), dirty talk, soft!dom joel (sort of???), a bit of angst/feelings, joel gets all babygirl around reader, ellie appears for like a minute, mediocre attempt at recreating joel's southern accent (sorry in advance)

a/n: hello??? well this is my first fic ever so bear with me, i'm still new to all this. also english isn't my first language so i'm afraid there may be mistakes (mostly when it comes to collocations bc i hate them and they confuse me), buuuut i'm learning obviously and if you find anything that should be corrected PLEASE TELL ME thank you :) i'd appreciate if you told whether you liked this story (idk what to call it tbh) but if you don't it's more than fine! anyways thank you so much for reading if you come across this fic, i hope you like it! i've spent a week writing it bc finals season is killing me <///3

here's my masterlist in case you want to read my other works :)

"Oh, my drunken southern star / How you tried to hide in darkness / Slipped from orbit / Now you’re dangerously close / Come out, come out from all your hiding out / We’ll dig in our heels, salute the battlefields / Where our broken hearts were born."

What is it that he has?

You used to ask yourself that question every night as you went to bed. On some occasions, you couldn't manage to come up with an exact answer. There were too many reasons that disclosed why a man like him lingered on your mind, even in those moments that were supposed to be for you and only you. Sleeping more than three hours a day was definitely something you needed tremendously, but still, the not-so-rational voice inside your head kept on bringing his name up without fail, disturbing your rest.

Joel Miller. Was it possible to feel like this? Like you knew somebody without having exchanged more than five words with them? Sure, there wasn't a single person in Jackson who wasn't aware of his existence. From whispered rumors in the streets to stories that intended to give his reserved personality an explanation, Joel became a real talking-point among those in the commune. Years ago, when the world was still just a floating ball in space, he would’ve frightened you, being the kind of person your parents used to warn you about as you started to grow older.

He walked a certain way, as if he were holding the suffering of many lives in his hands. Always on guard, prepared to fight those who defied him. Hidden knives in his pockets, a gun between his fingers, the trigger too tempting to be pulled at any time given. His hair was a mixture of brown and gray, and you swore that the latter was only becoming more prominent as days went by.

Suddenly, your pillow felt too uncomfortable, your hands fisting the fabric of your t-shirt while you kicked the blanket resting on top of your bare feet. A sigh escaped your lips, the taste of something you couldn't even distinguish on your tongue, your unsteady breath being the only sound to be heard in that noiseless night.

You were having a hard time figuring out how you felt about Joel (if there was anything to feel in the first place, since he barely remembered your face and there you were, fantasizing about him instead of sleeping.) Maybe you liked how he presented himself, how bossy and persistent he looked the times you caught him patrolling around the zone. Or perhaps it was his character what charmed you in the first place, and the fact that, deep down, a different side from him remained completely unseen.

He was handsome, too. Tall, broad shoulders, aquiline nose. His arms looked majestic in every single piece of clothing he wore, his tanned skin shiny enough to reflect the very same sun. And his legs… you were sure they were muscular like the rest of his body, because of all the physical effort he did. You had heard that he worked as a contractor before the pandemic, which made a lot of sense. Once or twice you had paid attention to his hands and–

Then, a familiar feeling sinked in. Warm began spreading through your belly, your thighs involuntary clenching together. “Fuck,” you muttered in a low tone, keeping your hands glued to your sides. Another motive not to think about Joel: he made you feel… things. Certain things that you hadn't felt for anyone in a very long time. You preferred to think that it was probably due to the fact that you were touch-starved, and not because you found yourself deeply attracted to him. Never had you ever been a sexually active person, so why now? Why did the mere image of Joel in your mind turn you on?

He’s strong. I’m alone. I feel the need to find someone who’s willing to protect me. That’s it. No other reason.

Your internal monologue was lacking in arguments, but it was definitely something you could work with. As if on cue, you found it hard to keep your eyes open, your limbs not feeling as if they were yours anymore. Next thing you knew, you were asleep.

That night, you dreamt with Joel.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

In a small cabin, you taught children how to paint and draw. Maria believed it to be helpful for their psychological development or something like that, and you had agreed to do it. A good way to spend your free time– that’s what it was. Plus, you liked children; some would even choose to include you in their drawings, and that small gesture just warmed your heart.

There, you met Ellie, a teenager whose basic vocabulary consisted mostly of profanities.

And boy, you loved Ellie.

It was hard not to, actually. She was like a breath of fresh air, with her jokes and instant charm. You two became attached in a short time, and she reminded you of a younger version of you, just a lot braver. Although in this world it brought her benefits, you sometimes wished she wouldn’t have gone through all that shit. Those eyes, which squinted as she laughed if you tickled her sides, were the cemetery of many buried memories. You wondered how she managed to put a smile on her face despite her past and the horrible things she had seen, hoping it was genuine and not a mask.

“Look!” her voice brought you back to reality. Blinking in her direction, you realized the amount of paint you had dropped onto the floor, a red stain already forming on the carpet. “Are you okay? You seem off.”

“I’m fine! Just a bit sleepy today, that's all,” you got closer to where she was lying down, her fingers moving the brush you had gifted her in different directions. Squatting a bit, you placed a strand of hair that didn’t make it into her ponytail behind her ear. “So, what are you painting?”

She smiled warmly, and her teeth catched her lower lip momentarily. “It’s not finished, okay? Don’t freak out. I know you’re a perfectionist.”

“I’m not…” you tried to explain yourself, but ended up choosing to be defeated. “Maybe you’re right. Anyway, may I see it?”

The canvas was in your hands a few moments later. Ellie spoke beside you, her words mixing together in a sign of embarrassment. “It’s for Joel. Figured I could do something nice for him, you know? I don’t– I think I need to start over. His eyes look kind of strange, don’t they? They’re so close he looks like a cyclops.”

“Don’t say that, kiddo. This is… it’s beautiful,” your index finger traced the lines framing his jaw, the shades of his skin perfectly achieved. You held the painting even tighter, afraid of breaking it for a second. He wasn’t frowning like he normally did; Ellie had painted him smiling, and the crinkles by his eyes matched his age. Surely you must have spent more time than necessary staring at it, ‘cause then Ellie continued talking.

“Well, you know what they say: The student has become the teacher.”

You handed the canvas to her, a smirk taking place on your face. “Yeah, I guess I’ll stop teaching you if that’s the case.”

An hour or so later, someone knocked on the door. As both of your hands were occupied (a more formal way to say that they were dirty with paint), you screamed “Come in!”, and Ellie covered her painting with an old, muddy curtain you used to clean the tables in which the children worked. You were about to ask her why she had reacted in that way, until you turned around and saw him.

Joel was there, as every other Wednesday. In your cabin, standing right in front of you. And you didn’t even look presentable. His hair looked messy, a couple of locks stuck to his forehead with sweat. “Hi,” he said shortly, meeting your gaze and attempting to shake your hand, but you avoided contact.

Showing him your hands, you held your palms in the air as an indication of the still fresh paint on your skin. “Sorry. If I were to accept the gesture, I’d leave you a stain.”

He retrieved a bit, adjusting his glove. “It’s okay. Safety first.”

That was supposed to be a joke, you noticed tardily. The silence in the room persisted until Ellie appeared from behind your back, already putting her coat on.

“You were supposed to pick me up in half an hour, asshole.”

His mouth snapped shut for an instant. “I missed you too. How was the class?”

Ellie lifted her shoulder in a half shrug, looking in your direction and proceeding to jerk her thumb toward Joel. She didn’t want him to see the painting. “Fine as usual.”

“Can I see what you’re–”

“No fucking way!” she accentuated the word fucking, drawing him closer to the door.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not done.”

“But–”

“No more questions, Joel. Let’s go! Say bye!” Ellie handled him like a baby, which made you giggle.

Though you saw Joel raising his eyebrows, so you stopped laughing.

Soon, they left and the cabin returned to its familiar quietness. A sigh erupted from your chest, and you allowed yourself to fall on top of a chair.

At least you could say you had actually talked to Joel for once.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

It didn’t surprise you that you wanted to see him again.

Not in the “you-turn-me-on” way, but in the “you-seem-interesting-and-i-need-to-find-out-why” one.

He had something. Something so magnetic and indecipherable that kept pulling you towards him. Something that made you look for his presence in every crew, and not sensing what it was only made your wishes to dissect him grow bigger. There was a tiny probability that he was an idiot with a pretty face. Who knew? You definitely didn’t, and that needed to change. You deserved to know if pining over that man was worth it or not.

That chain of thoughts led you to look for him the next day, almost trembling with eagerness as you asked him the most stupid and unexpected question you could have imagined.

“Would you teach me how to ride a horse?”

He looked at you as if you were out of your mind, opening his mouth a few times and then closing it before he actually replied to you. “You’re tellin' me you don’t know how to ride a horse?”

“Tried it a few times, but failed and now I really want to learn to do it properly,” you swore his eyes were trying to decipher if you were saying the truth or not. “Ellie told me that you could probably make some time to teach me?”

“So Ellie's in charge of my schedule, I suppose?” you froze on the spot, and he must have noticed it because then his expression dulled. “Sorry, sweetheart. It was a joke. I've been told I'm not the best humorist.”

Sweetheart. You could’ve died a happy girl.

“Look, why don’t we meet up tomorrow after lunch? I'm sure it won’t take us much time. Not a difficult task, y’know?” he stroked his beard, apparently thinking you understood what he was talking about.

“Sure. Thank you, Joel. My name’s–“

He didn’t let you finish. “I do know your name,” and before leaving, he repeated: “I’ll be here tomorrow. You know where to find me.”

To say that you slept without interruptions that night was an understatement. Each hour seemed to become longer the more you glimpsed your watch. Your heart drummed inside your chest violently, and you feared that someone else would be able to hear it if they got close enough to you.

After having lunch in the same spot as every other mundane day, your legs took you to the stable. You took a shaky breath, expecting him to appear out of thin air, but fifteen minutes went by, and there was still no sign of Joel. Pressing your forehead against the wooden door, you wrapped your arms around yourself. “What was I even thinking?”

“Hey.”

You looked to your side and– there he was, already getting inside the stable and inviting you to follow him. Joel petted one of the horses, clicking his tongue. His fingers caressed the animal’s back, and when he shot a glance at you, he didn’t ignore your disturbed expression.

“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of horses.”

“I’m not afraid of them,” you laughed awkwardly, eyeing the horse, which stared at you with those big and strange eyes. You raised your hand to mimic Joel, but that just made the animal move further away from you. “I guess it’s mutual. We don’t like each other.”

Joel smirked, guiding you outside. “It’s a damn horse. I don’t think you can tell whether he likes you or not. You gotta change that attitude of yours,” he murmured as he got on top of the horse, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Treat him well and he’ll be nice.”

At first, Joel taught you the basics: how to position yourself for balance, get your legs in the right position, hold the reins properly. A little bit of help coming from him was needed for you to mount the horse. He got down on one knee, patting it as if it were a mounting block. “Come on. Step on it.”

No need to ask me twice, you thought as you did what you were told, and once you were grabbing on those reins for dear life, you observed him with curious eyes. “Now what?”

“Now…” he pressed his hand into one of the horse’s sides, and afterwards, the horse began to fucking trot and you cried out, a high-pitched shriek slipping from your mouth. Joel laughed maliciously, almost hypnotized by the scene. “Now is when you learn how to ride a horse!”

“This isn't funny!” you screamed, the horse still very much entertained with the way you were jerking on top of him. “Stop!”

You couldn't believe how he kept… cracking up. Joel touched his stomach, shaking with laughter. “You’re a natural, can’t you see it? I’m havin' the time of my life here.”

“What I can see is that you’re an idiot! Cut the cackle and help me!”

But he didn’t move a single muscle. Instead, he remained still, that smug look never abandoning his features.

The bastard. “You’re gonna make me beg? In this situation?”

Crossing his arms while teasingly grinning at you, he added: “Wouldn’t hurt to try.”

“Joel Miller, will you help me? Pretty please?” your hair was getting in the way, and you could taste it as you insisted. “Is that enough for you?”

It was, actually. He helped you get down from the horse, his thick fingers digging into the mushy skin of your waist. It shouldn’t have felt that good, but it did. You were supposed to be angry at him for setting you up and still, by touching you for a microsecond, he had transformed you into something malleable.

Sadly, that feeling didn’t last much longer. “Didn’t know you were a man of manners. Should’ve told me beforehand.”

“Didn't know you could scream like that. I hope you didn’t freak anyone out.”

The two of you continued to practice until nightfall. A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man. Everytime you tried to quit, he stopped you, making it impossible for you to rest. You stared at him, rubbing the back of your sore neck with a grimace. “I’m tired. Can we go back?”

“One more time.”

“Joel–”

“Trot a couple of meters just one more time, and that’s it for today. Can you do that for me?”

You tried not to pay too much attention to his choice of words, although it was basically non-viable. He looked sinful, and you longed to shut him up with a bruising kiss. Again, a hopeless option. Your hands itched to touch him, to feel his stubble, rough and coarse under your thumbs. How could you stay focused when the man you had been daydreaming with for the last couple of months was bossing you around?

Despite your inability to clear your head of any of those thoughts, you managed to accomplish what he had asked you to do. “Well done,” he offered you his hand to dismount the horse and you accepted it, sighing as you stretched out your arms. “We should take him back to the stable,” Joel suggested, giving you the impression of being pleased as you told him you were coming with him.

Inside the stable, he relocated the horse into one of the many stalls. Unbelievably, the place didn’t smell like absolute shit, which was what you were expecting from a barn. “Thank you for the lesson,” you told Joel once he was done with the horse.

“Anytime,” he scratched his jaw, the dim light making his dark eyes look, if possible, even darker. “It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

“No. You were right,” your heart thrummed with every word that he blurted. His presence was addictive. You were never the one to have any bad habits, but deep down, you recognized that he easily could develop one. “I thought you were less talkative.”

“So did I,” for an instant, he pressed his lips together, forming a tight line, as if he had said something he shouldn’t have in the first place. “I think I didn’t ask you this before: but why now? I mean, why did you wait so much time to learn how to ride a horse? Everyone in Jackson seems to know how.”

You cleared your throat, his piercing eyes peering at your movements. “I guess I thought it wasn't necessary back then, before all this. It's one of those things that you don't even consider until it becomes inevitable. I used to believe I had a lot of time left when I was younger,” you had never talked about this with anyone else. There was something so intimate about this conversation, how Joel stood seemingly tongue-tied in front of you, as if he were taking notes of what you were confessing to him. “I remember being a kid and not wanting to use my toys sometimes because I kept waiting for the right moment. But then…”

“You realize there’s no such thing as the right moment,” he finished the sentence for you, and you bowed your head. “Life can end at any moment, especially in a world like ours. That’s why you always gotta do what you wish to. We never know what’ll happen tomorrow.”

“Live for today, hope for tomorrow? That’s your creed?” you tried to mock him, the tension in the stable far from evident, but he didn’t move.

“It’s the way I try to live my own life. I don’t like being left with the desire to do somethin’ I could’ve done earlier. Too old for that.”

Maybe you were gradually losing it. Perhaps just a little. It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? Had he noticed how you acted around him? Were you that obvious?

“So, you would advise me to just…”

“Do whatever you feel right, sweetheart.”

That raspy sweetheart made you give in.

His eyes. His penetrating, gleaming eyes scrutinized your face at the same time you closed the distance between your bodies. From there, you were able to see every freckle, every small detail that you hadn’t previously acknowledged. He parted his lips, as if to speak, but no words other than your name came out. One of your hands made its way up to his cheek, cupping it, feeling the warmth his skin radiated. His head immediately leaned into your touch, like a moth into a flame.

You kissed him, unable to keep waiting. It took him what felt like ages to kiss you back, his fingers tangling in your hair. He absorbed your whimpers, pressing your back against the nearest wall. Maddening– it was the perfect word to describe how being kissed by Joel felt like. When you thought he was going to draw away from you, he just held you tighter until your lungs implored for some air. Your knees had never felt this weak, and you found yourself grabbing onto his shoulders, already feeling the places where his stubble had left its trace in flames.

“Joel…” you mumbled against his lips, detaching your mouth from his. Your erratic breaths seemed to sync together like a melody, and you tugged at the collar of his jacket.

He knew, could see it on your features. “Wanna go to yours?”

Joel took you home. The moment you set foot in the cabin, he closed the door behind him, his hand lingering on the handle as he contemplated you from a distance. You took your coat off first, starting to unzip your pants. There was silence long enough to hear crickets in, the moon up in the sky being the only bystander of your meeting. His eyes roamed the newly exposed skin of your legs and you observed him gulp.

“Did something happen?” you asked him, a flush crepting up your face. Taking a step forward, one of his hands came to rest on top of yours.

“No, it’s just that– Are you sure you want this?”

Crinkling your nose, you uttered: “Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m just too old for you,” he warned you, running a knuckle down your cheek. “You should be with guys your age, y’know? Not with an old man like me.”

“I want you,” reassuring him, you got rid of your t-shirt, and the fact he was still dressed up from neck to toes lit some kind of fire inside you. His calloused fingers fiddled with the strap of your bra until it slipped off your shoulder. “This is what I want. Please, Joel.”

It turned out that Joel Miller certainly was a man of manners.

You couldn't help but moan as he grabbed you by the waist, dragging you to the couch by the window and straddling his lap, his hard-on finding its place beneath you, pulsing and in need of more. His tongue brushed yours ever so often, and your eyes rolled to the back of your head as his teeth latched onto the skin of your throat. Joel groaned, the sound, low and primal, having its desired effect on you, your hips involuntarily grinding against his in a delicious but tormenting rhythm that already had you on the verge of tears.

“Joel, please,” you managed to plead, not knowing precisely what you were asking for. His hands cupped your ass, imprinting his fingerprints on the soft flesh, forcing your hips to go harder and harder. The harsh fabric of his pants was definitely going to leave a mark on your cheeks, and thinking that helped you realize that you were the only one –almost– naked. You reached for the buttons of his denim shirt, your lips hovering over his. “Take your clothes off?”

He did the rest himself, throwing his jacket to the floor. When he got to his jeans, he cocked his head. “Why don’t we move this to the bedroom, if you’re so goddamn needy?” The few guys you had been with had never been very talkative during sex; there was even this one specific boy who had asked you to not make a sound while he fucked you.

But Joel wasn’t like them. It was just starting and you had already realized that he had a dirty mouth, an expectant look on his face every time he waited for your reaction to his words. “Now you’re quiet, huh? Thought you wanted me to fuck you, darlin',” one of his fingers pressed down on your clit, stimulating it through your underwear. He sighed, stopping his movements and pressing the damp pad of it against your lower lip, urging you to taste yourself. “You’re wet, baby. So fuckin’ wet. Have you been like this all day? Bet you would’ve let me take you right there in the forest.”

“Oh my God,” you whined next to his ear, your whole body trembling with desire. “Take me to bed,” you begged him, and next thing you knew, he was grabbing you as if you weighed nothing and heading towards your room.

Not knowing how, you kept your hands to yourself until he placed you on top of the bed. Joel shoved his jeans down and you didn’t think twice– you stroked his length, the fabric of his boxers only making the slow drag of your hand more satisfying. His long fingers circled your throat, and you moaned as you kept eliciting exquisite noises from him. “Let me take care of you,” his dilated pupils carved holes in your being, his grip doing nothing to cease the ache between your legs. “Please, baby. I need to make you feel good. Been thinkin’ about this for so long.”

“What?” you slowed down your pace, looking up at him through your eyelashes. “You wanted me?”

“Why do you think I began to pick Ellie up from your classes, huh? Because I’m a good, generous man?” Joel parted your knees, getting closer to where you required him the most. “I’m sorry to ruin this, but I’m far from good. Just wanted to see you and your pretty face. Didn’t know if we were on the same page until you came lookin' for me, askin' me to teach you how to ride a damn horse,” you hadn’t noticed your bra was missing till he cupped one of your breasts, flicking your nipple between his fingers. “I’m sure there were many other people you could’ve asked to teach you, but you chose me, didn’t you?”

“Don’t want anybody else,” your lips chased his, a drop of sweat already rolling down your temple. “I didn’t– didn’t know you noticed me.”

“How could I not? If you could only look at yourself like I’m doing right now… You’re a sight, sweetheart, all spread out for me,” removing your panties, he kissed the skin where your inner thighs met, his tongue darting out to draw imaginary figures on your flesh. His mouth was just inches away from your cunt, and you had to tell him.

“Joel?”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’ve never– nobody has ever done that for me.”

He seemed to understand what you were referring to. It made you tense a bit, despite the fact that you were completely naked in front of him, basically begging him to tear you apart. Still, the realization that you weren't as expert as him hit you out of nowhere. Yeah, it was all fun and games, kissing and touching probably the hottest man you had seen in your almost three decades of life. But said man was a lot older than you, and he had lived his best years in the real world, not this fucked up version you grew up in. You were sure he had been with many different women, which wasn’t a problem– you two were nothing.

“Nobody has ever tasted ya’? That’s what you’re tryin’ to tell me?” you nodded quickly, shoving a strand of his graying hair back away from his eyes. Joel chuckled languidly, squeezing your hips. “Do you want me to? It’s okay if you don’t. We can try somethin’ else.”

“Please,” you’d have time to embarrass yourself later, thinking about the amount of times you had repeated that word. But certain moments were to be lived only once, and though you hoped it wasn't the case, you had to take the chance. “I want you to.”

Four words. It took Joel four words to disappear between your legs, licking a hot stripe up your folds. You nibbled on your bottom lip, a loud moan filling the void of your dorm. He drew sweet patterns in your cunt, discovering a part of you that no one else ever had, and you couldn’t help but to grind against his face as he dipped the tip of his tongue into your entrance. Breathing wasn’t a necessity anymore. You felt as if all the air in the world was being punched out of your lungs, the knot in your belly growing tighter the more Joel spent his precious time keeping you entertained.

At some point, he focused his attention on your clit, circling it over and over again, making you shudder. Suddenly, the pad of his middle finger tested the waters, and he slowly slid it into your cunt, earning a strangled whine from you. Burying your hands in his hair, your glossy eyes looked for him for a second. You shouldn’t have done that, because as you took in the sight of Joel with his own eyes closed, browns knitted, your nostrils flared, and you wondered if it was even possible to want somebody that much.

“Joel, wait, I’m– fuck,” your jaw went slack and you scrunched up your face, two of his thick fingers nudging that spot that made you see stars. “I’m close.”

“That’s a good thing, sweetheart. Don’t know why you say it in such a dry tone,” his mouth curved into a smile, his chin and stubble shining with your slick.

Your chest rose and fell with rapid breaths. “I don’t want to come yet.”

“But you will.”

A thing you also learned, apart from horse riding, was that Joel was a determined man.

“Joel–“

“I’ll make you come with my mouth, and then with my cock,” dizziness was starting to blur your vision, your eyelashes fluttering with every hard thrust of his fingers. You glanced up to the ceiling, tears filling your eyes. “Think you can do that for me, be my good girl and come twice?”

You bobbed your head. It was official: he was going to make you come.

Drawing in a long breath, you could feel the unbearable pressure in your core. His name sounded like a prayer on your lips, chanting it in the same way some people expressed their devotion to a certain God. You had your own personal deity, whose tongue accomplished to push you to the limit, licking every drop of your release as if it were a special kind of forbidden elixir.

Your shoulders sagged and you relaxed under him. Joel kissed you, an open mouthed and filthy kiss crowning that moment as you panted. Through the cotton fabric of his boxers, you felt his hard-on poking your thigh. Shoving his underwear down, you took him in your hand, hot and just big, stroking him for real this time. You twisted your wrist at the tip, and he slumped forward, almost crushing you with his entire body weight, his breath dampening your neck. “Wanna fuck you, baby,” he croaked, his hips chasing your touch.

Out of all the scenarios you had ever imagined, none of them included being split open by Joel. You had a very vivid imagination, but no amount of creativity would’ve prepared you for what his cock would feel like inside of you. He bottomed out, his arms shaking where they rested on each side of your head. Joel’s breath quickened as he pulled out, just letting the tip, and then thrusting into you again.

“Fuck,” you didn’t recognize your own voice. It was even hard to decipher if you were still alive or dead from how magnificent he felt.

“So good, sweetheart. You’re so good, such a good girl,” he groaned, fucking deeper into you. His cock pulsed inside you, your cunt squeezing him. “Can’t believe how– how tight you are. You’re gonna make me lose my f–fucking mind.”

It was just too much. You hadn’t even recovered from your last orgasm before Joel started pounding into you like his life depended on it, the obscene sound of skin slapping skin ringing out in the room.

“You gonna come, huh? Gonna make a mess?” you could sense he was also close, his pace faltering as seconds went by, words slurring together. He pressed his forehead against yours, clenching his fists and taking in a sharp breath. “Fuck. I’m not gonna last much longer, baby.”

Come inside, you wished to tell him, to feel his seed dripping out of your greedy hole, painting your walls. But you weren't on the pill; it was also the first time you were sleeping with Joel, and you didn’t know how he would take the… suggestion. “Close,” you yelped instead, tears shimmering in your eyes as Joel’s body hovered over you like the most perfect eclipse.

His thrusts became more frenzied, if possible. “That’s it, darlin’. Come for me,” your gaze fixated upon him, his eyes flickering with hunger. “Wanna see you when you soak my cock.”

Your body went limp, your orgasm hitting you like a truck. Soreness took place in your throat as you moaned his name through the aftershocks, fireworks exploding behind your eyelids. Going rigid, you let go of Joel’s shoulders. He pulled out, mumbling something you didn’t quite catch. You fisted his cock, trying to give him the release he so yearned for. Joel kissed you, messy teeth and saliva taking part of it. Heavy on your hand, his dick twitched as you squeezed the base, roped of his warm cum splattering your belly. The scene reminded you of a painting; he was the talented painter, and you his blank canvas, waiting to be signed with his name.

It was the turn of silence now. None of you said anything for a while, until Joel used his boxers to clean up his cum from your stomach, smiling apologetically at you. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” your fingers delicately traced the contours of his chest as he reclined, enveloping you in the embrace of his strong arms. “Will you stay?”

Please say yes.

“Only if you want me to.”

Moral of the story: learning how to ride a horse can actually be nice if your teacher happens to be Joel Miller.

3K notes · View notes

cowboylikeyouu · 26 days ago

Text

🦾 WINTERHAWK RECS 🏹

@bl0ssomized asked for some winterhawk fic recs & i took that as my sign to finally sit down, go through my 500+ bookmarks and provide y'all with my fav fics <3 if you end up reading/enjoying any of these, PLEASE make sure to leave a comment on ao3, the authors deserve all the nice words in the world!!

about this list:

most of these fics are pretty popular in the fandom, so this list is more directed at new fans just joining the winterhawk paradise!! (there's a lot on here tho, so maybe you find one you haven't read yet)

mika/bee asked for little to no smut, so i'm not gonna rec any pwp works here (with a few exceptions). if you want smut recs, hmu tho, i got y'all

there's obviously still smut in many of these fics, but i tried to tell you if it's important/skippable or not. if you don't mind smut i obviously recommend reading it bc GOD these authors just know their shit, but i think nobody should miss out on the amazing long fics just bc they don't like smut :)

i put a "notes" section for every fic where i just yap about it and/or my feelings towards it for a bit bc i literally can't shut up about these two guys.

alright, i think that's all, let's go!! pls tell me if i messed up the links somwhere :)

50k+ words

Lucky In Love by dr_girlfriend

words: ~60k

important tags: no powers AU, oh my god they were roommates!, friends to lovers, mutual pining

notes: every time i give winterhawk recs to a new fan i start with lucky in love, bc even tho it’s an AU, it has soo many of the typical winterhawk tropes i love so much. PLUS: roomates. and lucky. and every chapter is titled “aw, [something], no” and i find that way too funny to not mention. idk it’s just one of that fics that gives me the warmest & fuzziest of warm fuzzy feelings and i think everyone should read it.

smut: even tho it has the wonderful, wonderful tag “not gonna tag every sex act just trust me there’s plenty”, there’s actually not that many. in my opinion, the perfect amount for a 60k, 21 chapters winterhawk fic. it’s quite a slow-burn, so they’re only in the later chapters anyway, and the build up to it is soOoo good. this is one of the fics where i know exactly where to find the smut scenes so feel free to hmu.

Like Real People Do by Kangofu_CB

words: ~67k

important tags: “i actually just wanted to watch these two idiots fall in love in a secluded cabin ok”; civil war fix it

notes: no one, NO ONE gets me like this fic, it checks like every single one of my boxes. perfection. not lying when i say it’s my favorite fic of all time. it doesn’t have a special premise or anything, but that’s the good thing about it. it’s just so… cozy. comfy. feels like home. i can’t even remember if like real people do is my favorite hozier song because of this fic or if it’s my fav fic bc like real people do is my fav hozier song, but i know that i never cried as hard as i did when i heard lrpd live and could only think about this fic. nothing makes me feel as good as re-reading this story, i want to eat it.

smut: yes, but only like 2,5 scenes. hmu and i tell you the exact fucking paragraph number or smth, this fic is literally engraved in my soul. thank you CB. some day i’ll leave a 2k words comment on every single chapter.

The Other Man out of Time by sara_holmes

words: ~97k

important tags: time travel, falling in love, clint barton centric

notes: okay, objectively speaking: this is the best winterhawk fic in existence. not my absolute favorite bc it makes me cry too much, but definitely top 3. no other winterhawk fic made me sob this hard, no other winterhawk fic makes me wanna curl up on the floor and cry for an hour every time i think about it. that being said: IT HAS A HAPPY ENDING!!! and a lot of stuff in between is SO sweet as well. premise is basically: clint travels back in time and fights in wwii alongside bucky and they fall in love. and then bucky!canon happens. you get it? you get it. it’s- UGH it’s so good. jesus. i’m crying.

smut: a few short sexy scenes i think, but no SMUT smut, and it’s definitely definitely DEFINITELY not the focus of the story. can’t emphasise enough how much everyone should read this

Hipsters get Remembered, Legend’s Never Die by sara_holmes

words: ~90k

important tags: millennial bucky barnes, awesome clint barton, recovery

notes: millennial bucky is one of the most entertaining things fandom came up with, and this fic is the epitome of that trope. love love LOVE. plus, clint’s really fucking awesome in this.

smut: yes, but only like two or three times in 11 chapters, easily skippable

Puzzle Pieces (series) by sara_holmes

words: ~446k

important tags: steve/tony, kid fic, emotional hurt

notes: if you don’t like stony this one isn’t for you, just skip to next one :) if you like stony: GOD pls read puzzle pieces!! the first 200k words fic is stony focused and has only pre-slash winterhawk, but even tho they don’t get together in this one yet it’s literally one of my favorite clint/bucky portrayals of all time, no one gets them like sara, it’s perfect. the stony/kid fic storyline is SO amazing as well, so if that’s your cup of tea, check. it. out. after that they’re a few longer winterhawk instalments, and while some of them are really angsty and painful, there’s always a happy ending. god i need to re-read this entire thing. it makes me wanna cry and throw up in all the good ways.

smut: some, but you can definitely skip it.

I’ll keep you safe here with me by sara_holmes

words: ~110k

important tags: kidnapping, PTSD, mind control aftermath & recovery

notes: ngl i haven’t read this one in a long time, but everything by sara is perfect and this one’s one of the most kudo’d winterhawk fics, so it’s basically a must read. everyone needs to read a good clint & the winter soldier fic at least once

smut: it’s rated mature, so no really explicit smut. can’t remember if they don’t get a bit horny tho.

A Heart Worth Loving by Kangofu_CB

words: ~82k

important tages: soulmate AU, no powers AU, modern bucky barnes, forced cohabitation

notes: GOOD FUCKING SOUP. soulmate au AND they were roommates????? beat that. it takes them ages to figure out they’re soulmates, which makes this equally amazing and frustrating, but it’s all so so worth it

smut: yes, at the end of it. you CAN skip it, although i recommend skimming through it and read the dialogue parts and stuff.

if you were a mythical thing by Kangofu_CB

words: ~75k

important tags: teachers au, kid fic, werewolves

notes: quick story time for this one bc i remember it so so well lmao: winterhawk olympic bang 2022, most authors had started to post their fics except for CB and i KNEW she had written one, and i was literally checking my emails every hour for days. and then she finally posted it and i already started screaming when i saw the taylor lyrics as a title, and then i read those three tags and literally had to sit on my floor for 20 minutes to calm down bc i was so excited. i remember posting like 20 stories on my private insta that were just me keysmashing lmaoo. idk but teachers + kid fic + werewolves is just such a BONKERS combination, and i can promise you’re in for a treat, it’s so so fun. 15/10.

smut: yes, but it takes some time to get there and it’s skippable

Adventures in dogsitting by Call_Me_Kayyyyy

words: ~53k

important tags: friends to lovers, dogsitting, pining

notes: another olympic bang fic, thank you. cute, fun, lots of lucky content :) good soup

smut: NO SMUT

Under My skin (series) by finely honed

words: ~360k

important tags: Steve/Tony (the “main” instalment is stony focused), PTSD, Life after the army, AU - Tattoo Parlour

notes: the “first” instalment is a stony fic (one of my all time favs honestly) but with a lot of amazing side-winterhawk, and there’s a winterhawk spin-off, that’s a prequel to the stony arc, so you can just read that first if you want. it was one of the first english winterhawk fics i’ve ever read and it always makes me wanna cry when i think about it (in a good way).

smut: they’re quite horny in both big instalments, but i would say the smut is skippable. it’s not un-important for both the winterhawk and the stony dynamic tho, so i wouldn’t recommend doing that

This is Not a Date, it’s a Kidnapping by sara_holmes

words: ~50k

important tags: Fake Kidnapping, also real kidnapping, Bucky Barnes recovering, fake relationship

notes: all sara_holmes is good sara_holmes, but this one’s one of my favs, it’s just so fun. GOD i miss winterhawk olympic bang 2021, this was such a blast to read when it first came out!!

smut: NO SMUT

Freedom’s Reach by dr_girlfriend

words: ~68k

important tags: arranged marriage, western/historical AU, slow burn

notes: aaaand another winterhawk olympic bang 2021 fic! pretty sure this one was my fav during the bang, like i remember hitting up a friend of mine and screaming at each other for like an hour every time a new chapter dropped, we were SO invested. very good soup.

smut: yes, but it’s a sloooow build, so it’s only in the later chapters. pretty sure it’s easily skippable

ghost in the machine by squadrickchestopher

words: ~75k

important tags: fake character death, heavy angst, ghosts, loneliness

notes: UGHHHH clint “dies”, becomes a ghost and only bucky can see him. touch starved clint final boss basically. amazing shit. painful shit. (happy ending tho)

smut: it’s rated explicit and it’s by squaddy, so i’m like 99% sure there’s smut, i actually can’t remember tho lmao

Barton’s Halfway House for Ex-Brainwashed Assassins (series) by Kangofu_CB

words: ~90k

important tags: the slowest burn, the mcu reimagined completely, accidental baby acquisition, found family, kid fic

notes: this one’s an ongoing series, and it’s such an amazing one, you can feel all the love that’s been put into this. you have to go through like 60k of slow burn before winterhawk actually happens, but it’s soooo worth it. plus: kid fic. kid fic’s always good.

smut: yes, but only in the 3rd part and the short pwp oneshot. easily skippable

something magic, something tragic by squadrickchestopher

words: ~55k

important tags: supernatural elements, vampire bucky, enemies to lovers

notes: VAMPIRES!!! that should be enough to convince you to read this fic!! and it’s by squaddy, it literally can’t be bad if it’s by squaddy.

smut: ughhh not entirely sure, pretty sure the mature rating is mostly for violence, but, again, it’s squaddy, so it’s very possible there’s some sexy stuff hiding in there.

Sweet Home Was Home by there_must_be_a_lock

words: ~110k

important tags: “i sorta made my own franken-canon”, christmas fluff, soft feelings

notes: i found this one on accident once when i wasn’t really expecting to find another PERFECT long ass winterhawk fic i haven’t read yet, and then i binge-read it in one night, and it’s honestly one of the best i’ve ever read, it’s so so soft and… healing. for both bucky and clint and myself. it’s really not as popular as it should be imo, definitely worthy of a place on the first page of the ship tag!! highly HIGHLY recommend checking it out!!

smut: yes, but skippable

10k - 50k words

Starving for the Light by thepartyresponsible

words: ~45k

important tags: magic AU, soul bond

notes: jesus christ i wanna eat this fic so bad. definitely my favorite 2021 winterhawk olympic bang fic, it’s just THAT good. need to re-read it entirely to make sure, but i think it’s in my top 10 if not top 5 fav winterhawk fics of all time. clint’s just so… beautiful in this, idk how else to describe it. and idk, it has a such a unique premise and setting, i love everything about it.

smut: yes, but skippable.

Historic Features by flawedamythyst

words: ~19k

important tags: ghosts AU, homophobic violence

notes: oooohhh my god, don’t make me think about this fic i’m gonna cry. it’s actually pretty fun and cute and fucking awesome, but clint & bucky’s backstory in this?? i’m ugly crying, leave me alone. premise is basically: they’re ghosts and haunting the apartment they died in years ago, scaring everyone who tries to live there out of it. then steve and tony wanna move in. it’s fucking great.

smut: NO SMUT

Call It What You Want To by Kangofu_CB

words: ~48k

important tags: modern bucky barnes, sugar daddy

notes: clint becomes bucky’s sugar daddy on accident without realising and it’s the funniest fucking shit i’ve ever seen, god i love him so much. plus, again,,, millennial bucky barnes. gimme all the millennial bucky barnes.

smut: 3 or 4 scenes i think, starting as early as chapter… 2??? i think??? pretty skippable tho, as long as you read like the foreplay and everything.

A Thistle Cannot Grow by ccbytheseashore

words: ~12k

important tags: kid fic, developing relationship

notes: AHHHSDJGHSKJDHG. enough right?? i’m always a sucker for some good dad!clint & soft!bucky content. this one’s so so sweet it’s one of my main comfort fics, can’t recommend it enough if you love kid fics!

smut: yes, but it’s literally only like 500 words of frotting, you know when it’s coming and you know when it’s over :) (it’s amazing tho)

Attachments by Lissadiane

words: ~22k

important tags: high school au, mother hen bucky barnes, clint barton needs a hug

notes: i KNOW many people don’t like high school AUs and i don’t fucking care. teenage winterhawk has so much potential, i love them to death. which is exactly why you should read this ;)

smut: NO SMUT

Outnumbered by sara_holmes

words: ~18k

important tags: kid fic, triplets, no powers AU, bucky comes home to new york

notes: another single dad clint fic, but give him 3 boys this time!! —> chaos. amazing chaos. + amazing bucky. good soup.

smut: NO SMUT

Once Lost (now found) by Teeelsie

words: 40k

important tags: hurt clint barton, on the run, self sacrifice

notes: hurt clint barton final boss. this was written for whumptober, so you can imagine how bad it gets. SO worth it tho, even if you don’t really love that kind of stuff!

smut: NO SMUT (pretty sure clint’s too hurt to have any kind of sexual thoughts <3 stupid stupid stubborn man. i love him so much)

The Best Worst Thing (that hasn’t happened to you yet) by sara_holmes

words: ~48k

important tags: enemies to friends to lovers, rescue missions

notes: if you’re into comic winterhawk and read their tales of suspense run, you should definitely read this fic. if you haven’t read tales of suspense, go do that now and then come back to the fic, bc it’s basically a rewrite that gives us the bucky/clint & nat dynamic we fucking deserve

smut: don’t think so?

skylines and tan lines by flawedamythyst

words: ~33k

important tags: no powers AU, coronovirus lockdown, long distance flirting

notes: this was literally my fav fic during lockdown, i’m not lying when i say i read this at least 20 times in 2020/21 lmaoo. it’s just such a fun concept; bucky’s living with peggy/steve, and their dynamic is so enjoyable.

smut: there’s quite a bit of sexting & phone sex, plus a smut scene at the end. doesn’t take up the entire fic tho, and the rest is worth it as well.

Behind Bars by sara_holmes and Behind Bares (On The Other Side Remix) by flawedamythyst

words: ~32k (sara), ~25k (amy)

important tags: prison AU

notes: sara’s fic is the original, amy remixed it and wrote if from clint’s pov (with quite some changes). i love both fics, but i definitely read the remix more often and prefer it, but i highly recommend reading both, they’re amazing!! clint & bucky are cell mates!!! and it’s angsty!! a little bit!!

smut: can’t remember what it’s like in sara’s version, but it’s only rated mature soo... there’s definitely one or two smut scenes in amy’s fic, but easilyyy skippable, only like a few handjobs or smth i think.

What do you mean we left Clint on Mars? by sara_holmes

words: ~25k

important tags: outer space, falling in love, clint feels

notes: a classic. falling in love long-distance is soo fun, and i love it when author’s touch-starve clint, so there’s that <3

smut: NO SMUT

A Christmas Miracle: Getting Lucky by Lissadiane

words: ~11k

important tags: christams, hallmark fic

notes: LUCKY!!!! i read this every single christmas. you should too. you’re welcome.

smut: NO SMUT

Dear Super-Secret Diary by flawedamythyst

words: ~16k

important tags: christmas fluff

notes: clint is bored and gets a diary (and the guy). a christmas must-read, it’s fun and cute and fluffy!!! one of the few times i will accept first person narration bc, well, it’s a goddamn diary

smut: NO SMUT

winterhawk punks in love (series) by 1000_directions

words: ~19k words

important tags: punk au, amputee bucky, deaf clint, ptsd, emotional hurt/comfort, recovery

notes: punk!winterhawk is so important to me I NEED MORE OF IT!!! this one’s such a perfect mix of happiness and angst and comfort UGH it just hits that spot.

smut: yes, but the fic’s still amazing if u skip it

Apple Of My Eye by flawedamythyst

words: ~40k

important tags: clint barton’s farm, found family, domestic

notes: FARM FIC FARM FIC FARM FIC!!! bucky, clint and wanda basically start an apple business on his farm, and it’s just soo comfy and awesome.

smut: NO SMUT

Alone in the Bitterness by Lissadiane

words: ~16k

important tags: no pwers au, nurse bucky, disaster clint

notes: nurse bucky nurse bucky nurse bucky nurse bucky!!! do i have to say more??

smut: NO SMUT

Team Spirit by Noxnthea

words: 17k

important tags: case fic, enemies to lovers lite

notes: noxnthea is such an underrated author it’s a literal crime. i normally don’t love case fics that much, but this is a ghost hunters case fic AND their banter is so fun that it really doesn’t matter for me this time

smut: NO SMUT

Reach Out by Kangofu_CB

words: ~11k

important tags: 5+1, a lot of sex tags, porn with feelings, feelings realisation

notes: CB’s smut always hits different, and idk, the +1 of this is just sooo funny and adorable, i love it to death. read this more times than i’ll admit.

smut: basically pwp, big no no if you don’t like smut.

Storms Within (Bridges Rebuilt) by Kangofu_CB

words: ~11k

important tags: star wars setting, force sensitive bucky & clint, crack treated seriously

notes: guys you can’t imagine my excitement when the notif for this fic popped up in my emails. luke skywalker is one of my top 10 all time fav fictional characters AND HERE HE IS INTERACTING W MY FAV BOYS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!! it’s so so good, if you’re into star wars you’re gonna love it!! (even if not, it’s by CB, impossible to not enjoy)

smut: NO SMUT

Draw, Breathe, Fire by FestiveFerret

words: ~15k

important tags: falling in love, flirting, banter

notes: haven’t read this in a long time, but i’m pretty sure it was like a perfect little bucky-recovering-and-falling-in-love-with-clint-while-living-in-the-tower-fic. he learns archery!! pretty sure they also adopt a ferret or something???? good shit

smut: NO SMUT

Hoist a Black Flag by Kangofu_CB

words: ~11k

important tags: pirate au

notes: ITS BASICALLY AN OFMD AU OKAY HOW CAN U NOT LOVE IT???

smut: yes, but skippable

Cupid’s Arrows by flawedamythyst

words: ~14k

important tags: office AU, valentine’s day

notes: clint dressed up as cupid, bad pick up lines, shenanigans. haven’t read this in quite a while, but i remember i enjoyed it A LOT a few years ago and re-read it multiple times!!

smut: NO SMUT

The Best Thing since a Double-Shot Expresso by sara_holmes

words: ~11k

important tags: coffee shop AU, misunderstandings, getting together

notes: friends to lovers final boss. they’ve been best friends (husbands) for years and literally live together, and it takes them an insane amount of jealousy and steve’s ass to finally get together. such a fun read, highly HIGHLY recommend

smut: NO SMUT

Habits of My Heart by Kangofu_CB

words: ~18k

important tags: Fuckbuddies to Lovers, no powers AU, grindr

notes: fuckbuddies to lovers with loads of pining will always be THE most realistic winterhawk depiction for me, sorry not sorry. this one’s extra fun bc steve and nat have been trying to set them up for months, but they’ve been already hooking up for months. it’s great.

smut: yes, but easily skippable.

In Which Peter Is Everyone’s Favourite Avenger by DestroyedConscience

words: ~25k

important tags: Twitter, everyone is gay, gen z humor

notes: look, this is an unfinished, non-winterhawk-centric twitter fic, but as a fellow winterhawk twitter fic author i just HAVE to recommend it. if u like this kind of thing, go check it out, it’s so fun :)

smut: NO SMUT

Look What The Cat Dragged In by flawedamythyst

words: 22k

important tags: Bucky Barnes is a cat lover, domestic fluff

notes: i haven’t read this in years, but i KNOW it was great. at this point just go check out amy’s account and read all of her winterhawk fics, she has over a hundred and they’re all great!! but this one has them co-parenting alpine, so it’s extra great!!

smut: NO SMUT

My Heart Will Be Your Home by dr_girlfriend

words: ~49k

important tags: soulmates au, single parent clint barton

notes: soulmate au plus kid fic guys, i repeat, SOULMATE AU PLUS KID FIC GUYS!!! BY DR GIRLFRIEND!!!! GOD i miss winterhawk olympic bang 21/22 this one was such a blast to read when it first came out.

smut: yes, but skippable

Chrome Plated Heart by dr_girlfriend

words: ~20k

important tags: pacific rim fusion

notes: i’ve never seen pacific rim and i still had a blast reading this one!! (she put a basic explanation for it somewhere in the story notes, so dw about it!!). it was SO nice to read a fic where they’re not heavily traumatised and just have a chill, easy getting together. really sweet stuff

smut: NO SMUT!!

Know When To Hold ‘Em by flawedamythyst

words: ~11k

important tags: exes to lovers, no powers au, cambling

notes: UGHHH i need more fics like this one, it’s so so SO good!! flashes back and forth to the time when they were first together and when they meet again and skjdghlksdhg my heart just hurts so much for both of them. (happy ending tho dw, clint’s just so sad in the present and it hurts my soul)

smut: yeah, the part in the present is basically just one big smut scene but it’s soOoOoO emotional and i always love me some emotional smut

Christmas in Colour by mariana_oconnor

words: ~12k

important tags: soulmates see in colour, christmas fluff

notes: SOULMATES SEE IN COLOUR !!!!! *swoons so hard she falls to the floor* top 3 best soulmates tropes i dont make the rules i love it so much. ESPECIALLY when it’s with a character like clint who usually has a colour he loves SO SO much. a christmas must read :)

smut: NO SMUT

Chaos By Another Name by shatteredhourglass

words: ~13k

important tags: dimension travel, time travel, friends to lovers

notes: DIMENSION-HOPPING TIME-TRAVEL ADVENTURE GUYS!!! why wouldn’t you wanna read it???

smut: yes

I Still Choose You (The Public Domain Remix) by mariana_oconnor

words: ~14k

important tags: soulmates at first kiss, fake/pretend relationship

notes: have a fic with two of the best tropes ever, you’re so very welcome. plus plus PLUS: demisexual bucky. as a demisexual/asexual/still trying to figure it out lesbian, i’m always ALWAYS here for any kind of ace spectrum winterhawk, so yeah.

smut: NO SMUT

the road rising up to meet me by veryrach

words: ~24k

important tags: pining, sexual reawakening, chaotic slutty clint barton

notes: MORE DEMISEXUAL BUCKY!!! AND HOT CLINT!!! no other words needed. read it.

smut: i’m so sorry but i can’t remember if it gets SMUTTY smutty. but there’s definitely a lot of sexual themes i mean look at the tags lmao

Showdown by shatteredhourglass

words: ~14k

important tags: fake/pretend relationship; fluff

notes: breaking my silence: fake dating might me my fav trope of all time. in this one they’re pretending to date for the sole purpose of annoying steve and tony and i think that’s the best thing ever.

smut: NO SMUT

Light the Spark by dr_girlfriend

words: ~26k

important tags: fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, enemies to friends to lovers

notes: aaaand the next fake dating fic >:) the enemies arc is like 0.2 seconds, blink and you miss it, but whoooo cares, we’re here for the fake dating & pining guys!!!

smut: yes, but you can skip it!

-10k words

Wine and Pine by feathers_and_cigarettes

words: 6k

Important tags: Touch-Starved, Fake Marriage, pining!clint

Notes: this is one of those fics i always come back to without realising and it always hits that spot. like i said, fake dating is my favorite trope, and MISSION fake dating???? i'm in heaven

smut: there’s quite a bit of smut, but it’s at the end and even if you stop reading after they kiss it’s really worth it.

Over Easy by Lissadiane

words: ~9k

important tags: hook up gone awry, awkwardly crashing the birth of a baby

notes: need y’all to know that this has one of my all time fav smut scenes, i kinda know it by heart. don’t quote me on that, this is our secret. this one’s just so so SO much fun, i’m having the time of my life every time i read it (which is at least like once a month)

smut: yes, and it’s kinda the best part, but everything else is so fun as well that i really wouldn’t wanna miss out on it

The Love You Deserve by flawedamythyst

words: ~8k

important tags: unhappy family holidays, homophobia, family issues, jewish bucky barnes

notes: another must-read christmas fic for me; clint goes home for christmas to an uncle of his or something but they all turn out to be homophobic assholes or something and then bucky shows up to save the day <3

smut: NO SMUT

what you really, really want by Noxnthea

words: ~8k

important tags: pining, misunderstandings

notes: *blurts out* THEYVE BEEN IN LOVE FOR AGES AND THEN WANDA HEXES THEM SO THEY THINK THEVE BEEN DATING FOR YEARS!!! this is SUCH an underrated fic, it doesn’t even have 200 kudos like wtf??? SHOW IT SOME LOVE!!!

smut: NO SMUT

The 300 Club by Noxnthea

words: ~10k

important tags: no powers au, scientist clint & bucky

notes: there aren’t enough scientist winterhawk AUs so HUGE THANKS noxnthea for feeding us. i will literally haunt you if you don’t read this one, ITS SO UNDERRATED!!! AND SO FUN!!

smut: NO SMUT

For Everything There is A Season by dr_girlfriend

words: ~9.7k

important tags: crack fic, secret service agent!bucky, small business owner!clint barton

notes: crack fics are always gold and this one especially, it’s such a ridiculous idea, how could you not love it? always a very fun read!

smut: NO SMUT

Background Noise by Reremouse

words: ~8k

important tags: modern au, deaf clint barton

notes: MILLENIAL BUCKY!!! clint is bucky’s upstairs neighbour and extremely loud bc he’s well… deaf. lol. and bucky’s a night shift worker which really isn’t a good combo on first thought. but on second thought, these are clint and bucky, so OBVIOUSLY they’re gonna make a great combo out of it. it’s fuckign amazing. plus bucky & sam friendship!! good shit guys, good shit.

smut: NO SMUT

you didn’t hear that by jedusaur

words: ~2.6k

important tags: roomates, eavesdropping

notes: super self-indulgent rec, i always read this one when i need some cheering up lmao it’s just so fun and they’re kinda nasty and UGH. love. it explores the range of bucky’s super hearing. do with that what you want.

smut: yes. it explores the range of bucky’s super hearing in every way ;)

one more time by squadrickchestopher

words: ~4k

important tags: touch starved, hurt clint barton

notes: i don’t even know why i love this one so much, but it holds SUCH a special place in my heart. it might be my undying love for touch starved!clint who finally gets his well-needed hugs by bucky. there’s also an amazing podfic by flowerparrish for it, make sure to give kudso to them both!!!

smut: NO SMUT

the salt on your lips by veryrach

words: ~9k

important tags: kissing, an absolutely ridiculous lack of communication

notes: exactly what the tags say. it’s a 5+1 as well, WHAT ELSE DO YOU NEED IN LIFE???? 10/10. i remember waiting for months for the last few chapters and it was SO worth it!!

smut: NO SMUT

Love Potion No. 10 by Kangofu_CB

words: ~8k

important tags: love potion/spell, not actually unrequited love

notes: i won’t say anything about the story bc i don’t wanna spoiler it, but i’ll say that i re-read the second half of it at least once a month, it’s just THAT sweet.

smut: NO SMUT

There’s No ‘I’ In Denial by flawedamythyst

words: ~5k

important tags: truth spells

notes: clint gets hit by a magic truth gun and can’t lie anymore. such a fun & cute read every single time.

smut: NO SMUT

The Name of the Game by squadrickchestopher

words: ~6k

important tags: competition, trash talking, feelings realization

notes: this one’s just so so fun, it has allllllll the winterhawk banter anyone could ask for. and i always love me some competitive idiots in love

smut: NO SMUT

Full Barton by aw_writing_no

words: ~6k

important tags: no powers au, cop!bucky, human disaster clint

notes: what the tags say. clint embarrassing himself in front of bucky who enjoys it a bit too much gotta be one of my fav tropes.

smut: NO SMUT

one more little mistake by shatteredhourglass

words: ~3k

important tags: clint barton wears glasses, bucky barnes is horny for clint barton

notes: these tags are basically the entire fic lmaooo. it’s great, i love nothing more than HOT HOT HOT clint barton and bucky realising how hot he is

smut: almost lmao (they get interrupted while making out)

my hands no longer an afterthought by shatteredhourglass

words: ~3k

important tags: getting back together

notes: i have a sweet sweet SWEET spot for winterhawk getting back togethers if handled well, and this one handles it soo well.

smut: NO SMUT

Five Lies People Believe About Clint and Bucky by EVVS

words: ~1.5k

important tags: established relationship

notes: this is one of those fics i always go back to if i have a few minutes and need some (bitter)sweet fluff. it’s exactly what the title says, some lies are fun, some are painful, and all of them just hit that spot

smut: NO SMUT

My Sausage Brings Alll the Boys To The Yard by flawedamythyst

words: ~1.7k

important tags: bad flirting

notes: this one’s so stupid it probably shouldn’t be on here but i remember how i was reading this in class for the first time when i was still in school and i was almost pissing myself bc it made me laugh so hard. very fun, go read it >:(

smut: NO SMUT

bonus for the freaks:

Filthy Porn Fridays by squadrickchestopher

there’s 18 works so far, it’s smut smut smut aaaand - you guessed it - smut. if you wanna see the boys fuck nastily, this is your place to be.

(delicate tension is the best fic of the series, it’s actually a roadtrip AU and not just smut, highly highly recommend)

alrightyyy, i think that's it for now :) this took me quite some time so i'd appreciate some reblogs or whatever!! we need to spread some winterhawk love guys!!

all my love goes out to every author i mentioned here, and every other author who's ever written winterhawk. you guys are my heroes, idk what i'd do without you. literally ripping my heart into a thousand pieces and giving every single one of you a tiny part 💜

131 notes · View notes

serotoninny · 1 year ago

Text

partners in time is a game from the mario and luigi series ^_^^

extra stuff + me rambling under the cut

ok. i know the stargate scenes are pretty famous for the whole "youre multifaceted like a diamond" bit and that is so so awesome and true for luigi. however. i did not know about the part where it puts him on Blast for being a coward in front of his baby self god and everyone. like a celestial supposedly Soul Reading Gate singled him out and told eveyone either he redeems his character or has to be left behind. the babies were granted free entry and of course mario gets to pass, but can u imagine. can you even imagine being luigi realizing hes made it so he grows up and isnt deemed worthy or brave enough when his past self is an innocent clean slate that had all the potential in the world. am i reading too much into this when it had a neat resolution? maybe. i could also be the mouthpiece of god we dont even know

some baby luigis for your troubles thanks for reading this if you did. thanks anyway for anything really Love you

#smb #super mario bros #mario and luigi #partners in time #baby luigi #baby mario #this would not leave my brain for days im so serious #ninny talks #serotoninny art tag

553 notes · View notes

bitchlessdino · 1 year ago

Note

hey nana!!! i read your mingyu, wonwoo and the chan, seungcheol, soonyoung smuts and i loved it!!!<3 i'm wondering if you could write a smut about my biases which are soonyoung, wonwoo and jihoon since after caratland i LOVEEE wonwoo with his glasses and how soonyoung and jihoon looked:) maybe have it like be vanilla? or it could be vanilla leading to hard sex which would be awesome,, i'm fine with anything!!! tsym nana!!💞

-🧽

Pairing: fem!reader x wonwoo x soonyoung x jihoon

Genre: smut

Word count: 5.8k

tags: mentions of alcohol, drunk sex, break ups, mention of cheating, swords crossing, cum swapping, cum eating, double pen, breast play, oral (giving and receiving), double oral(?), act of video recording sexual acts, praise kink, degradation, pet names (princess and baby), unprotected sex, creampie

Summary: The subway train? The bullet train? The soul train?? No...the only way off of heartbreak city is the Homie Train. Translation: do not spare a single one of your ex's friends. You will have to fuck every one of them. It's a guaranteed way.

author note: i kind went wild, i did my thing, i lost myself in sex, im here. with more filth. ha. haha. im ok, I promise. no I'm not

Tag: @shiningstar-byulxx @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @honglynights @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han

“Hae is a jerk. You’re better off.”

He did it over text. “We should see other people,” it said and all of a sudden, tears burned your eyes while your hands were scorching to the touch. You had an inkling this would happen but were not thinking it’d be this soon. Your boyfriend–well, now ex–always made you feel like you were never enough or didn’t care to put in effort despite the fact you were.

It perhaps started around your anniversary when you had planned a date night for just the two of you. Shock drew on your face when he entered the location with not only himself but his friends to follow, three in fact.

Wonwoo, a fellow gamer he met through gaming tournaments and PC cafes. Soonyoung, a guy he met at an EDM concert around a year or two ago and never left. And finally, Jihoon, Soonyoung’s friend, someone just as uncomfortable as you were.

You pulled your boyfriend aside, saying you had only planned it to be a couples' night. It was then he insisted they’d only be here a short while. You’d still have their couple's night, and everything would be fine. But not a word of ‘anniversary’ once came up in the conversation. You should’ve known since then.

They had to have been the genuinely nicest guys you’ve ever encountered. No partner was perfect, but getting to know all three guys made you realize your boyfriend was far from it. Perhaps even the worse of the bunch. While Hae was preoccupied, Jihoon politely and quietly apologized. One, for overhearing your conversation, and two, for intruding on your night out.

You dismissed it, although bitter from the interruption, said what’s done is done and that you were still having a good time. It was the truth. Hae’s friends made good company, trying to make sure you were drinking enough water, eating enough food, and entertaining you just as much as they were each other.

At the end of the night, they were the ones insisting on getting you home early after your boyfriend rejected taking you home himself.

You had done a lot of thinking since then, wondering how you came to this, when you realized they had followed you on social media, a universal sign of friendship. You talked with them more comfortably over time, seeing them almost as often as you did Hae, and eventually, they became your friends too. Despite that, your romantic relationship never improved and here you were, a blubbering mess in front of your new friends.

Wonwoo continued to hand you off tissues while Soonyoung pulled back your hair from covering your face. Jihoon, on the other hand, surfed Netflix for revenge movies that would take your mind off their stupid friend, if he could even call him that.

“Do Revenge, John Tucker Must Die, Carrie. Any of these sound appealing?”

“Why are they all high schoolers,” you asked, sniffling.

“Because teenagers are the most conniving, manipulative creatures on planet Earth. That's why they’re so good at revenge stories. Thought you could enjoy blowing off steam.”

You shook your head, blowing your nose into the cushion felt of the tissue before tossing it in a pile you made before they got here. “They all sound awful. Can’t we just skip to the end of The Glory when she finally gets her revenge on all of them?”

“No way,” Soonyoung retorted, “I just barely got through the curling iron parts. I can’t just skip…or I guess we could.”

He flipped the switch immediately after seeing the pitiful look on your face, caressing the side of your head to hinder any more tears from falling.

“We’ll do what you want,” Wonwoo assured, “as long as you start feeling better.”

He gave you your last tissue, and you mouthed a thank you before Jihoon put on the dark drama and you joined together on the couch. They made the process more manageable–not any less heartbreaking–but you couldn’t understand why it had hurt so hard. He had friends he treated well, better than you’ve ever seen. Why couldn’t he have done the same for you?

You hadn’t planned on it, but the sun had gone down, and you were still accompanied by these three men, two deep in sleep. Meanwhile, Wonwoo had gone off to get himself water. “Want a cup?”

You trodded towards the tall man, still slumped from your emotions but accepting his glass as he poured himself a new one. “You guys didn’t have to come over.”

“Why wouldn’t we?”

You shrugged, “You were his friends first, I don’t know. Isn’t there bro code or something?”

He scoffed, “I think in these situations, we can figure out who’s in the wrong, and you’re perfect.”

Now it was your turn to scoff, finishing off the rest of your water before placing it to clean in the sink for your future self to clean. “If I’m so perfect, why would he break up with me?”

“I just told you. You’re perfect. Hae isn’t. He’s an idiot.”

“Wonwoo, he’s your friend.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about anymore,” he said, placing his empty cup next to yours.

“So what? You’re gonna stop being friends with him because he broke up with me?” You joked half-heartedly.

He thought for a second before nodding. “Yeah…I think that’s the right response.”

You didn’t expect it. This man, feelings more platonic than anything for you, has shown more loyalty to you in the past few months than your ex did in the past year. The tears were finally starting to come back. Wonwoo responded quickly and embraced you. His enormous arms tugged you against his broad upper body, his chin hugging the curve of your head, like two matching puzzle pieces. “I’m sorry you had to endure him. You deserve more than tolerance. You deserve love and care.”

You sobbed harder, staining the fabric of his sweater.

“Y/n, is that you crying? Not again.” Soonyoung quickly came by your side, joining you while a sleepy Jihoon quickly followed behind and embraced you just the same.

You had never felt warm like this. Three guys that had no ties to you besides someone you had a relationship with, now hugged you like they never wanted to let go. Had you met any of them before your ex, you wonder if you’d be crying the way you were now.

You didn’t want the night to end, so you insisted they stayed the night. You let borrow some oversize clothes that could probably fit them snugly and cracked open a few drinks to buzz out the emotions.

“I blame Soonyoung. He’s an awful judge of character. Too trusting.”

Jihoon was already off his rocker after a counted two bottles of soju. He did mention he hardly drank, but now you were understanding why.

“How was I supposed to know he was an asshole,” the culprit questioned, losing it after one singular bottle. This was more alike than they’d like to admit. “He was an alright guy then. A dick to girls too good for him though.”

Your cheeks heated up hearing that, finishing up your first bottle.

“Like he plays Valo, he truly fumbled the bag right here.” Wonwoo slightly stirred, but still stood taller than the rest of them.

You waved your hands in front of them dismissively. “Guys, stop. He��hic–don’t trash talk him just because of me.”

“We’ll do what we want!” Soonyoung shouted. “He’s the one that screwed up first! Imagine a beautiful, nice, pretty, gorgeous, sweet person like Y/n comes…and you break up with them! Huh? Math is nonexistent. I always hated algebra.”

Soonyoung began nodding his head on your shoulder like a lonesome pet, pouting aggressively. “So bad. Hae stupid. Stupid. Stupid just like algebra.”

“Soonyoung, water please,” you requested, nudging the bottle in his mouth, and relieved to see him accept it.

“Yeah, he’s not drinking anymore,” Wonwoo twisted the cap on the bottle with any remainder left and set it aside in a place Soonyoung couldn’t reach.

You sighed, hot in places that could only be done with high intakes of alcohol. You fell back against the sturdy couch as your thighs scratched over the surface of your carpet. “I feel like I haven’t said thank you enough. So, thank you.”

“You’ve said it plenty,” Wonwoo chuckled, “but good to see you happier.”

“You know what I want to see,” Jihoon interrupted, “Hae’s face seeing that we’re here instead of with him at the bar like he asked us to be. Fuck that guy! Y/n’s out here crying, and he wants to go out? Fuck you, Hae!”

Jihoon was one emotionally unstable drunk. You had never seen him like this before. Out of all the guys, he may have visibly disliked Hae the most, and right now it was definitely showing.

Soonyoung hugged your body with all his strength, nuzzling into you. “He sucks. Stupid Hae.”

“Enough, okay. Let’s not talk about him,” you commanded, a small pout of your own forming.

“If I dated Y/n, I’d show how special she is every day,” Soonyoung blubbered. “Give her all the kisses she wants, take her all the places she wants, drive her home, just to wake up in bed with her.”

You lightly nudged the giggly drunk, “Aw Soon…”

“If it were me,” Wonwoo joined, “I’d plan date nights without inviting my friends and it’d be the nicest place in town, spoil her until she beats 3-month-old milk. Make her feel like the only girl in the world.”

You sighed out of embarrassment, covering your face so they couldn’t see the cheesy ass smile that was forming involuntarily. “Wonwoo–”

“I’d just love her.” Jihoon had finally started sobering up to the point his words were comprehensive, but even then he didn’t sound fully there, like truth serum was doing the lord’s work in a way. “I’d do what Hae couldn’t and give her the most love I could ever give because if it was one thing Hae got I was jealous of, it was her love and undivided attention. He wasn’t worth any of it. Now it’s gone to waste.”

That may have hit you the hardest, feeling the waterworks building up again. You got up from the ground to wrap snugly around Jihoon, feeling him stiffen underneath you but reciprocating after taking the moment to process. His hand came up your back in an awkward loop, resting his head on your forehead as he let you cry. He didn’t say anything, but he figured it was what you wanted.

“I love you all,” you sobbed, pressing your lips on the curve of his cheek abruptly. “You’re so nice to me.”

“Y/n,” Jihoon said, now fully sober and conscious of a less-than-sober woman smothering him.

“I mean it,” You kissed the other side of his face, “You’re all the kindest,” –kiss– “Sweetest” –kiss— “Most tender loving guys I’ve ever met.”

You were stamping the man's face all over until you were toppling on top of him. His hands grip the base of your shoulders from falling face-first into his, but now you were staring back into his rounded eyes behind his spectacles. Forehead beaded with sweet, adam’s apple shifting from a harsh swallow, and his shallow rise and fall of his chest against yours.

Your head was telling you all the right routes to take before you took the compulsive one and kissed his lips, grinding yourself on top of him. Jihoon eyes shot open before trying to move his head, away from your lips, slowly realizing he was succumbing to them.

“Y/n–”

“Don’t leave, Jihoon,” You softly whined.

He pulled you up from the ground to place you back on the front of the couch, a phantom of your lips on his. “You’re drunk.”

“So?”

“You’re not in your right state of mind, Y/n,” Wonwoo intruded.

“Like I have been for the past years being with Hae? Like how I was so blind to see the signs of him….cheating on me?”

The surrounding men grew silent, unable to answer.

“You all knew–”

“We didn’t,” Jihoon denied, “We found out from Instagram. We were kept in the dark too.”

You let out a harsh breath, forearm pressed against your damp eyes.

“Fuck it,” Soonyoung spoke up in what felt like forever and pressed his lips against yours, finding you quick to respond.

You climbed against his lap before you started grinding, the salt of your tears slipping past your meshed lips. Your needy moans burned in the collective men’s ears, churning their stomachs, tightening their inseams, and Soonyoung became what they all envied. The outsiders scooted closer to the couple to get a clear view, heat radiating over their bodies hotter than any sun in the galaxy.

Only pure animal instinct ran through you, a longing to get off, gnawing at you like an insect. You ran your hand through his hair, pulling on it to emit his soft whines. Your abdomen tensed up, now pushing your weight against him until you could make the outline of his toned, fit body.

He moaned your name helplessly, hands gathering the balls of your shirt into fists.

“Fuck me please,” you asked through weak whimpers, “Get him off me. Make him go away.”

At that moment, you knew exactly what you needed, sober or not. The image constantly ran through your mind of having dated one of them, any of them. They all would’ve had more potential of a happier future than you ever did with your ex.

Soonyoung completely understood, lifting your bodies from the ground and now on the couch. He shamelessly returned your kiss. His tongue moved at all angles for a taste, and the other men watched like the scene was a car crash, too mesmerized to look away, all while readjusting the discomfort in their pants.

Bothered by their needy presence so close, you pull away from Soonyoung to reunite with Jihoon, feeling more complacency than the initial kiss you shared. You cupped his face gingerly, stroking his soft features before taking his glasses off his face and placing it on the coffee table.

Meanwhile, Soonyoung felt your skin smooth under his palm, tasting the tenderness of your neck. His hands crawled up your back, pawing at the band of your bra before releasing the clasps, your breasts falling gently from the lack of support. Slipping under the underwire, he kneaded your tender breasts, fingers finding your pebbled sensitivity before squeezing, your moans running up your throat.

Wonwoo kneeled with his face toward your back, hands following up your sides as his lips trailed up your spine in soft wonder. The whisper of his breath sends tingles to your body and you arch your back in surprise. This doesn’t scare you, as right now you showed no protest, but his hand hover over the top of your sweats, lightly pulling at the elastic. Cautiously, he slid past the thick material to find your folds, drenched under a mess of your own making. Vicious and thick under his fingers, Wonwoo groaned in your ear. “God, look how wet you are…”

You gasped against Jihoon’s lips as Wonwoo’s finger made himself slip up your fold, a thick layer of film wrapping around his fingers like honey. You shuddered before Jihoon grabbed your head and kissed you deeper, his free hand lost in the depth of the jeans he wore. It was all of the best world together happening simultaneously and now you couldn’t imagine having anything else like it.

“I need to be in you so badly,” Wonwoo grunted, pushing himself up the end of the couch to retrieve friction to his groin.

His fingers dug deeper inside, thumb caressing your clit, as his teeth grazed your skin. You pushed your weight into Soonyoung’s lap, feeling his cock throbbing beneath you. Flushed, you tore your shirt off, exposing your torso for others to worship, and that they did.

Their hands are entangled with your frame, wrapping around every surface of sweet skin. Slowly, one by one, each of them began to tore off the clothes, exposing themselves. Bodies on bodies of fire, inflamed with unbridled lust, determined to make all parts of you quiver under their touch.

The couch wouldn’t have enough surface area, so they moved you to the bedroom. Jihoon’s hands were on your hips, and his lips peppered the nape of your neck. Soonyoung held up your front, latched on to your face with swollen lips. Meanwhile, Wonwoo closed the door behind them, stalking a beat later to enjoy the show.

Your bodies collapsed on the mattress and Soonyoung parted from you to allow Wonwoo access. Wonwoo towered over you, knee bent between your legs, lips languidly moving against yours. “What do you want?” He asked, kisses sweet and heated, “Let us give what your dumb boyfriend couldn’t.”

“Say the word, Y/n,” Soonyoung added, kissing your fingers, your palm, your wrist, and down your arm, “What will make you feel good?”

“Just…” you expelled desperate breath, “Fuck me, please.”

“You have to tell us, beautiful,” Jihoon’s fingers laced through your other hand, kissing the back of it, “What wouldn’t–or couldn’t–he do?”

“...eat me. He couldn’t eat me.”

Wonwoo grinned, “I’ve got that covered.”

You felt him kiss down your stomach, the pads of his fingers pressed into your flesh. His hands began to part your divide, lips tickling your inner thighs. You felt teeth, followed by relieved sighs as his fingers delicately brushed on your raw heat. “Of course, he couldn’t handle you. He wouldn’t know such a pretty pussy if it slapped him across the face.”

His lips gradually moved to the center, wrapping his lips around your entry as his eyes stared back at you like a deep void sucking you into its endless pit. His tongue licked your walls, earning a soft jump from you as Soonyoung and Jihoon help you down by your arms. A moan escapes your closed lips, your teeth driven into your bottom lip in anguish.

“She likes it,” Soonyoung commented amusedly.

“Well, I’m sure anything is better than that asshole…But Wonwoo doing it for you? His mouth feels good on your wet, needy pussy?”

Salvia caught in your throat, you fused into the sheets, “Fuck yes.”

Wonwoo chuckled against your skin before he faced you deeper, burning himself in your arousal until he was sure he’d drown in it. You were like honey on his tongue, rich and pure. Eating you out gave him all and more pleasure than a thousand hand jobs by a thousand of hands. You were pure ecstasy that had been forbidden from the very moment he laid his eyes on you.

The only reason why he stayed friends with your ex for so long was his inner circle, including you. He endured every trash talk, every shit game, every extra hour session to improve Hae’s shitty hand coordination. It was worth it, at least now it was.

“He must be having a full course down there, you sound amazing,” Soonyoung whispered in your ear, hand fondling one breast, while Jihoon had the other. His lips were eating at your pebbled skin.

Your high only rose taller, your body tenser, and you can feel your skin swell up in heat as you clenched around Wonwoo’s tongue. Your climax gushed out of you like tree sap, coating his mouth in your warmth, dripping down from his lips to chin. He tasted what he only dreamt of, ecstasy and clouds. Only filthy.

He reached up to land your taste in your mouth. “How is it? Delicious, aren’t ya?”

“My turn,” Jihoon claimed your lips a second after, envy stemming from his lips as he tasted you himself. His stomach coiled over the filth in your mouth, pouring the thought of ruining you in his head. His cock throbbed at the image of being choked from your sopping cunt that he could only imagine felt good as it tasted. “I’ll get condoms.”

“Don’t.” You stopped, staring back into the man’s eyes in pleas. “I want to feel you, please.”

“Us? All of us?” Jihoon asked to confirm.

You gave him a definite nod, “I’m clean…and I’ve never let him touch me raw ever.”

“Are you sure, princess?” Wonwoo now asked, painfully aware of the offer hot on his fingertips.

“I-I trust you. Please…”

They briefed in quiet thought before agreeing, surrounding you at all sides. You reached up for Wonwoo, pulling him back on you with his cock thick and hard between his legs. Your hand went to claim him in your grip, stroking him from base to tip, the bulging veins up his shaft tingling at your fingertips.

“Careful there,” he cautioned, grinning, “you’ll make me get too excited.”

“That’s what I want,” you mused.

“Looks like Y/n is a little tease,” Soonyoung chuckled. “Let’s see if you can take what you dish.”

Jihoon came to your side before laying a hand on your pussy, lathering your moisture between his fingers and stretching open your folds. The curve of Wonwoo’s cock stood perfectly aligned at your entrance, wetting the head with a delectable sheen. He pushed himself in, savoring the safe haven that was your walls. It was the perfect stretch to his girth and he groaned at the plush felt, practically melting all around him. “Shit…”

“Look how good that pussy takes his cock, Hoon,” Soonyoung spoke, jaw dropped.

“Such a good little pussy,” Jihoon agreed, rubbing your clit, teeth tugging against your earlobe, “You’re gonna make me cum with how mouthwatering you look.”

You buried your grip in the sheets, head throwing as the plunge of Wonwoo’s cock, and you barely made out your request. “P-Phone…”

“Why do you need your phone,” Soonyoung asked in interest.

“S-snap…Hae…”

They were all shocked at first at your request, but pulled up the Snapchat app on the phone anyway, waiting to give you a signal to record. You then added on to the request, “Soon—Mmh—say some n-nice things before sending it t-to him…”

He turned a cheeky grin before pressing record. Wonwoo thrust in you deep, groaned louder, fucked you faster, and naturally spilled obscenities from your lips that ‘putting on a show’ wouldn’t be necessary. His hands roughly pulled your hips to him, as if to use you, bending you to his will, and fuck, did it feel good.

“You see this shit?” Soonyoung mocked. “That’s what fucking sounds like, you moron. Probably never heard her make those sounds before, have you? Funny enough, she likes raw cock, just not yours.”

You let out a guttural moan as Jihoon played with your tits. His teeth scratched up against your breast before biting, sucking, and moaning. You whispered in his ear something only he could hear it’s not long before he does as you asked, dangling his cock in front of you with bent knees. You grasped his shaft, tugging on his skin before fitting him in your mouth, pushing through your soft gags, and taking him deep in your mouth.

Jihoon sounded satisfied just as he looked. He put his hands in your hair before bobbing your head against him, his cock deep-throating you until you’re forced to breathe through your nose. He felt full and thick inside you, itching down the depths of your throat.

Soonyoung pulled the phone closer to you, just hornier watching you at work while he was at work. “Look. At. That. She’s taking his cock so fucking good. What a good girl. So fucking pretty–You’re such a stupid bitch, Hae. I hope you know that by now you never deserved her.”

Soonyoung’s thumb comes into the frame to wipe the overwhelmed tears in your eyes, while your delicious moans were muffled by Jihoon. “His cock taste good, baby?”

You nodded, whimpering as Jihoon tugged you harder, forcing your eyes on him.

“Better than Hae’s?” Jihoon thought to ask, to which you nodded again, only more gingerly as you caressed his bare abdomen.

“Yeah, because Hae’s a little bitch,” Soonyoung egged. “You’ve got to be incredibly stupid to fucking lose someone like this. Well, bye now. Gotta get back to fucking your hot girlfriend–excuse me.” He turned the camera back on himself, visibly stroking his cock—veiny and hard. “Your hot Ex-girlfriend.”

He threw a farewell middle finger before sending it to him and tossing the phone aside. He caressed your head, “How’s that?”

You nodded, a bit too distracted to give a more definite answer.

“Good, now focus on orgasming, hmm?”

You saw Soonyoung’s cock, hard and in its lonesome before tending it, still stroking Jihoon’s. You alternated between the two for a period, letting both feel the inner working of your mouth. It was until you got enthusiastic that you rubbed them against each other, lathering each other your saliva. Their collective moans drowned out other sounds in the room. Vein to vein, shaft to shaft, head to head. With your tongue in between or licking up their lengths, their cocks gilded against each other as smooth as butter.

“Fuck, why does that feel good?” Jihoon whined, still drunk enough to admit some truth.

“Admit it, Hoonie, you like me,” Soonyoung teased between his moans.

Both your hands held them together, stroking them as if they were one. You could feel them bursting with arousal. It was orgasmic to see them cross, but not as much as it was taking them both in your mouth simultaneously, stretching your lips from corner to corner. They may have not pushed far, but your lips wrapped around them so bound and tight, it was more than they could’ve asked.

“Yes, shit…Just, like that, Y/n...You’re driving me insane right now…”

“Taking our cocks so beautifully, baby…Being perfect, good slut…Mmh, spit on it…that’s it…Take us deeper, baby…so fucking good.”

Wonwoo may have amped up his pace for the camera, but he was afraid to lose it. Taking the sides of your legs, he held them up to his shoulders so he could fuck you deeper, bottoming out in you. Your moans vibrated up the two men’s cock, one more sensitive than the other, making Jihoon curse at his limited patience. “Shit…so close…”

“Oh, Y/n…shit…fuck, I’m gonna cum too.” Wonwoo shut his eyes tight, attempting to resist the best he could but for him, the tides were too strong.

Wonwoo doubled over, wailing about his impending orgasm before he released inside you, hot and inevitable. You clenched into the heat, feeling it invade the depth of your core until it meant you were full. It was too late for you to stop your own crash of arousal that followed immediately after. Meanwhile, Jihoon, not wanting to make the same mistake, pulled out of you a string of salvia routing from your swollen lips to his swollen cock. He cupped the side of your cheek, smiling a tired smile, and kissed your face as Soonyoung was still in your mouth.

Unlike his friend, you milked Soonyoung dry, carnally taking every drop of his load he squeezed out between in his deep, aching groans. Either of his hands collapse the side of your head, pushing your lips against the base before dropping it inside you. “Take it, baby, swallow my cum.” Pockets full of cum lumped the column of your throat and traveled like an assembly line as you swallowed.

“Y/n…oh my god, like that…every drop….”

Eventually, positions shifted. Your lips connected back with Jihoon, while Soonyoung covered your backside, eating your pussy like it was the best thing in the fucking world. “Your pussy is the best thing in the fucking world.” He really spoke his mind.

Soonyoung proved himself to be a messy eater, tongue fucking you sideways, while the remainder of Wonwoo’s cum and yours slid all over his mouth. He felt it dribble down his chin, down his neck, even his chest. He was so turned on by such a filthy feast, it made him easy to find his cock. Thrusting and fisting himself, he edged his patience with quick brief intervals, stopping abruptly as soon as he felt close.

Jihoon smiled against your lips as he clashed with your tongue, fighting for your attention with his hands through your hair. “He feel good, hmm? I’m about to make you feel better. Come here.”

You did as he ask, Soonyoung’s lips following after, until the head of Jihoon’s cock prodded at your entrance, wet with teasing. Your whines, barely audible in the kiss, soon melted like milk chocolate, and Jihoon’s cock eased inside you just as easily as it eased out. He thrusted in you at an achingly slow rhythm, while Soonyoung’s eyes followed the motion like memorizing a dance.

“I wish you could see from this angle how she’s taking it.” He spread your cheeks apart, and the gap of your warmth fluttered at the draft the second Jihoon pulled out. “You look fucking delicious, Y/n.”

Soonyoung gave you both a subtle signal before whipping his cock, angry and red at being left out. He steadied your body, Jihoon’s cock insistent on being inside, but that was no problem. Soonyoung teased your preoccupied hole, lubing himself with the pre-made mess, and eased himself in. He now felt what he could only describe as solid euphoria, breath-stealing and innate perfection.

Your molten walls melted around their cocks, and their deep, merciless plunges fill the every crevice of your body, as your back came in a perfect arch. Moans stayed stuck in your throat, trembling in a pleasurable ache. You lost yourself in the fullness you felt letting them fuck you and use you like the toy you’ve become. “F-fuck yes…more please…don’t stop…”

Jihoon moaned after you, lips puckering in pleasure. His head dipped back in the sheets, feeling like he was having sex for the first time all over again. A new, foreign feeling that makes him feel like seconds away from cumming. In soft whispers, he begged for it slow, swallowing his whimpers but showing weakness obvious weakness. It made you absolutely insane. You were the one taking two dicks in you but Jihoon made it feel as if you had to worry about him. You tenderly caressed his cheeks in solace, reassuring him the way you could that you’d take care of him.

Out of your peripheral view, you hadn't noticed Wonwoo until he started talking with his phone in hand. He approached the space above your head, recording the lewd view as his cock was came to your eye level. He tilted your chin up with his middle and index to meet his face, unadulterated dark lust oozing out of his eyes. “So pretty already taking two cocks. They fucking your pussy good?”

“Yes, so good…” you answered, taking every pounding.

“You know what I want, right?”

Your hands were already in his shaft, feeling how hard even after already came. “Yes.”

His hand brushed the top of your head, tugging it back so your eyes stared back into the camera lens. A corner of his lisp quirked up, slowly in a sinfully dark voice he commanded, “Take my cock, Princess.”

Soonyoung held you up from your side, while Jihoon reunited with your tits. Slowly but surely, you leaned in to welcome the head of his cock on your tongue, licking through the slit. In a lewd manner, your eyes drift in a dream-like expression. Your tongue trailing down his length before spitting against the shaft and coating your lips in a glossy sheen.

“You really don’t get it, do you, Hae,” Wonwoo watched you through the screen, resisting the urge to not just completely fuck your mouth senseless at the moment, “Y/n was yours once, but she’s ours now. The difference is, we use our cocks right and put them in all the right places. You, however, will never know,” Wonwoo single-handedly wrapped your hair around his fingers in a makeshift ponytail, “what it’s like to be inside her again. We won’t let you.” from his grip, he pushed your head down to deep throat him, plugging the gap in which you’d normally breathe through.

Your eyes shut, tears burn down your cheek like liquid fire as you’re swirling your tongue around him before he pulled himself out, cussing under his breath. He zoomed in on your eyes, dazed and perfectly fucked, before sticking a thumb in your mouth, releasing a gleeful giggle. You looked like a new person entirely. Unrecognizable. Reborn.

“Did you like that, princess?”

You let out a low purr, “Yes, Wonwoo…more please...”

He sent the video before tossing his phone away and finishing what he started. His cock made himself home in your mouth once again, now savoring the sensation. Wonwoo doesn’t hold himself back now, fucking your mouth despite any physical resistance your mouth may make. It made you feel alive, useful, and last but most important, wanted.

“You look so beautiful, Princess…yes, take our cocks. You’re doing a beautiful job.”

Their praises spoke to you like prayer, descending upon you like a light while committing sin. “Cum, on my cock, Y/n. I can take it,” Jihoon insisted, trembling under your touch. Soonyoung nodded in agreement, legs faltering as expected from going at you for as long as he could. Wonwoo was even starting to look like he’d give in. Bodies covered in a layer of sweat and sex. You were grateful to be gifted another climax, shuddering on top of the begging man while you managed through with limited oxygen.

Orgasm after orgasm, they put you to ruin, and yet you never felt more on air. It felt like it went on forever, but everyone moved with urgency. In the end, they pour their cum into you like it was your purpose, every hole of yours practically leaking with ivory honey. You collapsed on the body beneath you, his tone arms held you in place. He kissed you where Wonwoo left another mess of his and made love against your mouth, and not a thought of anything else.

They stayed the night as planned. Your bodies, now cleaned after a long, thorough shower, cradled against each other in your borrowed clothes. You fit together like pieces to a full picture, not one without the other. You worried about the aftermath the next day, awaiting the utter chaos that could follow, but realized it was your own imagination worrying you because things went as normal.

Smiles on their faces, tender and welcoming eyes, only at this point it made you warm all over, memories of last night flooding your brain.

The only difference was the hundreds of messages flooding your inbox from your ex, and the now deeply intimate connection you’ve made with a group that you only saw as friends. The same deep connection that had you cumming again that same morning.

723 notes · View notes

digitaldiarystuff · 11 months ago

Text

Latin Grammys

note: ok so before we start since you don’t give me ideas 🥺 i’ll ask myself who would you want me to write for ferran, fermin, ruben or mason or do you just prefer the same players i write for

————

summary: you were in a sweet relationship with Joao for almost a year but given you’re a popular singer and he’s a world famous footballer you decided to keep it a secret. You were nominated for an award and wanted nothing more than taking your boyfriend with you

pairing: - Y/N

genre: angst/ fluff

————

“You won’t believe it!” you exclaimed as you entered your boyfriend Joao’s house jumping up and down.

He was laid down on the couch scrolling on tiktok as soon as he saw you his face lit up.

“I got a nomination” you ran to hip and Joao picked you up spinning you around.

“I knew you’d be.” he kissed you sweetly and you giggled together. You were nominated for Best New Artis award and couldn’t be happier. Since last year your time and mind was all on your music, you poured your heart and soul into every single line and it was finally paying off.

“I think this calls for a celebration.” Joao sweetly said as he went into kitchen to grab an expensive bottle of wine and 2 glasses. You nervously waited for him as he was telling how proud he was.

“Actually, I was hoping for a celebration on the day of the award show.” you said fidgeting with your fingers. You had been pretty private about your relationship so far, Joao had some bad experience with his past relationship and you were afraid of the backlash but even it means you’ll get hate for it you wanted him next to you as you found out if you’ve won or not.

“After the ceremony? I like where your head’s at.” he smirked clearly thinking about a more sexual celebration.

“No no, I mean I was kind of hoping maybe you wanted to go with me. Be my plus one you know for the night.”

You noticed his smile falter which made yours to disappear. You knew he wasn’t entirely comfortable with the idea but figured he’d want to support you that night because it was the biggest night of your career. You always went to his games, with glasses and caps not to be recognized sure but you did your best to support him.

“I… I don’t know I mean it’s like launching our relationship to everyone.”

Your heart broke more after his every word, after 10 months you hoped he was ready to show you off but it felt like he wasn’t comfortable enough in your relationship.

“Don’t worry it’s alright. It was a stupid idea anyway” you said and tried to put on a smile.

He was too distraught to even notice how fake your smile was.

After a glass of wine you made up an excuse to get out of his house, normally you’d stay over no doubt but tonight you wanted to be alone. Was he ashamed of you or was it because his past relationship affected his life so much you didn’t know. All you knew was your boyfriend not wanting to be by your side for your big night.

It was three weeks after your initial conversation about the event and Joao didn’t even say a word about it. You obviously didn’t, either. It seemed like you let it go but in the back of your mind, intrusive thoughts were eating you alive. Also, you really needed someone to be by your side that night and that’s when your agent suggested your producer, Alex. Your agent knew about your relationship and asked one day if you were bringing Joao, you shook your head not wanting to get into it so she took it upon herself to find you a date for it. Alex was her best suggestion since you were already friends and he helped you get on the right track since the beginning. You unwillingly accepted but didn’t say a word to Joao. You figured he wouldn’t care, boy were you wrong.

Joao went into your apartment the day before the event, hoping to have a talk and make sure you understood him but as he walked in with his spare key, he found the invitations sitting on the console at the entrance. He smiled to himself as the proud boyfriend that he is until he read the names under it. He could’ve had a heart attack then and there, he’ve met Alex but was only a handful of times and he always seemed too touchy with you but Joao tried his best not to come across possessive. He always noticed when Alex spoke so highly of you, how his eyes wandered around your cleavage and his hand placed on the small of your back.

When you walked in you noticed Joao’s shoes and realized he must be in the living area just passing time but actually he was pacing back and forth around the room nonstop. When you laid eyes on his distressed figure you were shocked.

“Joao, what’s wrong?” you asked fully expecting his answer to be training related.

“What’s going on is that my girlfriend has a date with his producer tomorrow night.” he said finally stopping. He didn’t mean to be so sassy but his insecurities got the best of him, you knew he had some trust issues but you both agreed to talk it out before spiraling.

“What are you talking about?” you asked but then he waved the invitation in his hands and you realized you still haven’t told him about taking Alex.

“Yes, that’s what happens when your boyfriend doesn’t want to support you.” you clapped back. You normally wouldn’t be this short with him in this state but he was being unreasonable.

“So what, you decide to take the person who’s been trying so hard to get into your pants instead of?”

“Joao you know Alex’s a friend.”

“Yes, a friend who’s secretly hoping to fuck you!” he yelled and you decided he was not even worth your explanation right now. You told him how you didn’t feel his trust and support while he went on about this detail he was fixating on.

“You know what, I think we should just take a moment to think. I have a long day ahead of me and would prefer to have a good night’s sleep.” you said and went in your room slamming the door.

You tried to understand him, you really did but it all came down to one thing: he didn’t see this relationship going forward. He didn’t want to be seen with you, he thought you’d fuck someone else if you ever hang out with them and this couldn’t be more far away from the truth. You took this relationship seriously from the jump, you loved Joao and would never glance at someone else but if he doesn’t want to believe it, there’s nothing you could do.

You fell asleep soon after, all the exhaustion and stress weighing you down. When you woke up the next morning, you heard some noises coming from the kitchen which at first freaked you out but then you thought maybe Joao spent the night. This made you even angrier because he couldn’t expect to argue with you today, he has to understand this event means so much for you.

You went in the en-suite to freshen up and opened your door storming into the kitchen fully expecting to see a distressed Joao making coffee but he’s actually in there with a bouquet of your favorite flowers putting them in a vase he found at your cabinet. He was wearing different clothes and seemed better than yesterday so you figured he came in early in the morning.

“Good morning.” he shyly smiled showing you the flowers “I got these for you.”

“They’re lovely, thank you.” you answered and he could sense the tension in your tone. As you went to sit on the bar stool next to your table you noticed a clothing bag with a suit inside sitting on it.

“What’s this?”

“Oh they’re all my best suits. I realized I didn’t even know what you’re wearing so I brought them all hoping we could decide together.”

“What?” you asked confused.

“I would like to be your plus one tonight, if you still want me.” he said and averted his gaze afraid you’ll say no. You looked up at him.

“Is this just because you’re jealous?” you asked

“It did play a factor for the decision yes, but the main reason is that I’m a selfish prick who doesn’t even show his love nearly enough to his best new artist girlfriend.” he said while scratching his neck looking down.

“I’m sorry for not being there for you, I’m sorry for not showing you how much I appreciate you and hundred percent support you. I love you so much and I’m sorry I let my insecurities get in the way of that. So about the invitation, is it still standing or should I just wallow in my misery all night?”

“Joao Felix, there will never be a time I wouldn’t choose you. You’re stuck with me forever.” you smiled wrapping your arms around his torso and he let go of a breath he didn’t realize he was holding hugging you back.

#football #football imagine #football x reader #football x y/n #football oneshot #football x you #fc barcelona #football blurb #football one shot #joao felix barcelona #joao felix x y/n #joao felix atletico madrid #joao felix one shot #joao felix x reader #joao felix imagine #joao felix

192 notes · View notes

foone · 4 months ago

Text

My (very long) theory for how certain things work in Outer Wilds & Echoes of the Eye, under the cut

So I have a theory to explain two different "how does this work?" questions with a single idea: How the Nomai statues work, and how the Dream World works in Echoes of the Eye.

I think it's a single technology which lets you connect two quantum observers together.

So the nomai mask links to you, somehow. when it activates, it connects to you, and from then on whenever you die or the loop ends, it can read your memories. it can do this no matter where you are in the solar system, somehow.

So my theory is that the mask is linking to your consciousness through a quantum effect. You can think of this as your consciousness being in two places at once: in your head, and in the mask. You're "linked" because you're effectively in two places at once. (What do I mean by "you" here? whatever the game means when it says "a conscious observer has entered the eye".)

So when you die in a loop, the mask you're linked to can tell that you're now only inside it, instead of in two places. So it saves your memories for sending back to the start of the loop, just like it would do at the end of the loop if you hadn't died.

OK. so that's a theory for how one thing works. How does that also explain how the Dream works in Echoes of the Eye?

Well, I think the inhabitants of The Stranger (let's call them Owls) have the same technology. They've got Quantum Soul Magic.

and The Dream works by doing the same quantum-pairing thing, but to the artifacts. Specifically, to the fire. The fire is acting as an observer in itself. (you could probably explain this with something about how fire acts like it's alive in many ways. or maybe it's not regular fire, it's QUANTUM FIRE (much like how ghost matter is QUANTUM ICE))

So when you activate the artifact, you're doing the Quantum Soul Magic to link your consciousness to the fire in the artifact. the fire in the artifact links itself to the fire in the room, and bam. you're in the dream.

side-headcanon: the "main" Dream is in the tower. The tower is then linked to the other flames through the antennas on the roof. They're using the same QSM (Quantum Soul Magic) to link them together. So when the first room goes down due to the dam breaking, the dream stops being in all 4 places, and is now only in 3 places.

when you wake up from the dream (due to death in the dream, the fire going out, or the bells awakening you), it's one of:

the soul in your artifact disappearing from the dream (as it got disconnected when you "died") and thus the artifact unlinks, puts out the fire, and wakes you up.

the fire went out. That unlinks it from you as it no longer exists, and the artifact wakes you up.

the bells awakening you. Your physical body is still connected to your "soul", so you still feel things from the real world (compare: the tilting feeling in the dream when the tower tilts). When you hear the bell, it causes you to start waking up. The artifact notices, and unlinks you, and puts out the fire.

So what happens when you die in the real world, while in the dream?

Nothing! You're still in the fire in the artifact. It's just that's now the only place you are, and you're no longer linked to the one that was in your body. There's only one remaining "you": the one in the artifact. In the fire.

So you live on, inside the fire, and in the dream. If then fire goes out (the flood, the tower fell over), the same things happen as if a not-dead user had their fire go out: the soul in the fire is gone. the artifact thinks there's one remaining instance of you, in your head, and tries to wake you up. It fails. Your body is dead. The only You that lived was in the fire in the artifact, and it dispersed with the flame.

So I think that makes sense? I took one idea (there exists a consciousness-pairing quantum technology) and it can explain how two different parts of the story work, without any major problems that I can see.

Side note: I bet this is how the Owls' vision torches work too. They're doing some kind of QSM between the one projecting memories/ideas and the one receiving them. The memories/ideas are shared because for a moment, you're partially the same person.

Side Side note, worked homework: Assuming the QSM is used to link each place in point-to-point links, when would the hatchling be in the maximum number of places?

answer: when in the dream, alive and sleeping from a place other than in the tower.

Question 2: And how many places is that?

No credit unless you show your work.

OK. There's one in your head. That one is linked to two others: the mask you saw in the museum at the start of the game, and the fire in your artifact.

The one in the museum mask is linked to the one in ash twin: two more. (it's also possible the one in ash twin is linked to ash twin itself, but that'd just be speculation so I'll not count it).

The one in the fire in your artifact is linked to the the fire in your room, which is linked to the fire in the tower (through the antenna. don't ask how that works). The fire in the tower is either linked to the dream, or it IS the dream, so either three or four. Let's assume three.

This gives you 1+2+3=6. You are in six places at once. Eight if you throw in the speculative ones. Must make you dizzy.

Anyway this also suggests an explanation for how the artifact works when it's in range of a fire: it's line of sight. You have to be observing the fire in the room to be linked to it, because it's quantum!

(the game might disprove this, I haven't checked: what if you die while facing away from the fire? Do you still wake up in the dream if you can't observe the fire?)

Extra add-on headcanon: The Owls didn't expect the "you go into the dream when you die near the fire" feature of the artifacts. It was a discovery caused by an oversight in the artifacts "code": they never thought about what would happen if you died while holding an artifact.

And it turns out, what happens is the artifact thinks you're going to sleep (maybe it's monitoring your lifesigns?), and tries to do quantum soul magic on you. They never taught it how to distinguish from "sleep" and "death" because they hadn't considered yet "what happens if I die while holding it but not yet in the dream" (they definitely thought about the "while in the dream" case: they knew this gave them immortality). So the artifact tries to quantum soul link and even more unexpectedly, it works. Somehow it grabs onto your soul in the moments before you're completely dead, and you wake up in the fire in the artifact.

yet another side side side note: I bet the way the Owls designed the dream was with the same technology as their vision staffs. Staves. Whatever.

They use something like a staff to pull memories out of the person and project them into The Dream. They literally remembered The Dream into existence, by vision-torching into it. The Dream then remembered those memories to share with everyone else. (I don't think the members of the simulation are linked to each other, btw. just to the dream itself, which is some kind of simulation thing.)

So... want a slightly scary side-effect of all this? Remember the owl who scans The Eye and gets the vision of it destroying the universe and a new one growing from it? What is that scanning device? I'm not sure it shows up anywhere else. But I bet I know how it works: It's like a vision torch, it does a link between the two "souls" and transfers information... only backwards. Instead of pushing a memory from the holder to the person it's focused on, it pulls one.

So basically, that Owl with the Scan Stick just tried to read the mind of The Eye. For a moment, this guy was quantum soul linked to THE EYE OF THE UNIVERSE ITSELF.

No wonder he freaked the fuck out. That's like mind-melding with God! (something which has canonically happened in Star Trek because, because ARGHH).

Additional theory: I bet the Owl Telescopes work similarly to the scanning stick. That's why the Owl people were so excited when they got the signal: They were getting a faint taste of being One With The Universe (or at least The Eye). This was like finding a radio signal from paradise, and realizing they can triangulate it. Of course they sacrificed everything they had to get to The Eye, they had tasted the first hint of the flavor of the universe. They were close enough to godhood to smell it.

The reels: I think the reels contain something like a soul, or part of one. They're a set of memories in a sequence. This explains how they can scan them into the dream: they're using a machine to pair the soul in the reel with the dream. So the reel is now viewable in the dream, because its "soul" is there too.

And the QSM is probably how they create the reels in the first place: They use something like a vision torch to pull memories from the creator into the reel, by linking them together.

Final thought and I'll shut up (at least for now):

This could also be how the Nomai vision stones work. Like, you put them on the pedestal and you can suddenly see another planet? You're being linked to the pedestal on the other planet, which is observing the area around it.

How's this work? The pedestal you approach links to you when you put down a stone. It then links to the stone. The stone was already linked to the pedestal on the other planet, by the Nomai, when they created it! So now you're linked to the destination pillar, which observes the area around it. You see it like you're there.

You move too far from the center, the pedestal notices and undoes the link, for your safety (you could walk off a ledge!)

#outer wilds spoilers #outer wilds #outer wilds echoes of the eye

56 notes · View notes

wannaeatramyeon · 2 years ago

Note

I just thought what type of personality is thier child like and what type of dad they are.

Example: Daniel's child will be a chubby child like he is, probably shy and cute child. Daniel would be a dad that give confident to his child so they won't exprience hardship like and also both of them will have a shenanigans of eating in the middle of the night.

Gun's child would be mini Gun but doesn't look for fight like his dad. You can say the child is more of gentleman than Gun tendency. The child probably be like "Mom, How and why did you marry dad" Points at thier father who is rampaging in fight.

Thanks for the ask Sam and sorry it's taken so long 😭

Agree with your HC altho I wonder if Daniel might swing too much the other way being a health nut (after all the bullying and Lookism) and you would have to help him find a happy medium??

Lookism Boys as dads + what their kid is like

Wow that's a mouthful. HC for Jake Kim, Samuel Seo, Warren Chae, Goo Kim, Ryuhei Kuroda, Eugene, Vasco, Zack Lee, Johan Seong

General HC

Most would take after their dad and be at least adept with fighting

Unless specified they would turn out pretty ok. We all know the flaws these men have (except Jake he can do no wrong 🙏) so the coparent needs to balance that out

Jake and Samuels kids would be bff, much to chagrin of Samuel lol. He ends up seeing Jake far too much for his liking but his kid is happy so what can he do

Warren's kid and Yenna bff. Duh

Goo's and Ryuhei's hate each other at first. Always getting each other into trouble. Until. Wow, think of the chaos we can cause TOGETHER

Gun's kid IMO would probably get on with someone like Eugene's. But would be hilarious if they got swept into the Vasco/Zack/Johan dynamic

Eugene's is a bit of a loner. All the fancy upbringing means they have connections and networks rather than close friends 😔

Vasco's, Zack's and Johan's would be like siblings. Constantly pick on and insult each other. They're allowed to. But if someone joins in - WTF DID YOU JUST SAY?? YOU WANNA FIGHT?

Jake Kim

As a dad

Listen. I don't know whether my levels of delusion are way off with this man but he can do no wrong. He would be the best dad, best househusband. He would be harsh but fair and sooo much fun. Unfortunately your kid would be spoilt rotten with all the Big Deal Uncles and Auntie.

The kid

Like father like son/daughter. Absolute unwavering sense of right and wrong, maybe sometimes not too understanding of the shades of grey. A confident kid and heartbreaker - not purposely tho but their rizz will be off the charts like their dad. Of course a natural born leader. That runs in the family too.

Warren Chae

As a dad

Oof. If you thought he was protective over Sally then you have another thing coming. Needs a bit of talking around to give them their freedom and experiences. Apart from that you really can't complain. Warren has an infinite amount of patience. Also reads to them all the time to stop himself missing out words.

The kid

The cutest kind-hearted little soul! Would just be so nice and sweet! Super well adjusted and surrounded by loving adults (Hostel), and also Grandpa Manager Kim. Yknow the kids who are also constantly dirty? Like constant speck of dirt on their face? Yeah also that.

Samuel Seo

As a dad

It might be better if you're a single parent because he is gonna pass on some gnarly generational trauma. Your child will either end up like a mini-Samuel or fingers crossed there will be shitloads of therapy (for daddy and child).

The kid

Strives for perfection, and super ambitious. There's no avoiding some traits. Another natural leader, but rules less with an iron first than Sammy. Would be vain af, and looks after their appearance a LOT. A bit shallow and judgemental but will eventually grow out of it.

Goo Kim

As a dad

Shrewd af and always knows what's going on. Good luck to their kid because there is no lying to Goo. He'll play along and then drop the hammer. However, a bit too lenient so you would have to be the disciplinarian. Lets the kid just get on with things and learn by experience. "Oh you wanna play with the sword? Have fun!" "GOO NO-!"

The kid

Little shit. Sorry there's just no way they wouldn't be a mouthy little asshole. Goo would make sure they respect the parents, but otherwise they are a danger to society. A troublemaker. Figures out all the loopholes to any rules and laws... A constant headache but you can't help but be impressed.

Gun Park

As a dad

Does a lot of research before their kid is born. This guy is pretty thorough with things he is interested in, so if he's taking an active part in the kid's life then he will be meticiulous. Initially. Then, like Goo, will let their kid make their own mistakes. Otherwise, very hands on, doesn't believe in outdated parental roles. After all, this is Gun's ultimate masterpiece.

The kid

Christ. This kid could be the most intimidating child to have ever lived. Not as intense as their dad, but they are playing 5D chess while everyone else is just learning their shapes and numbers. They're cocky and confident, with the skills to back it up.

Ryuhei Kuroda

As a dad

Extremely similar to Goo imo. Would also love to embarrass the kid. Not purposely mind, just he can't keep his hands off or kissing you and no kid needs to see their parents so grossly in love.

The kid

An absolute menace, just like their dad. Huge prankster, mostly harmless. Don't get them together with Goo's kid because jfc they would be absolute terrors together. Unlike their dad in his youth, they would respect the shit out of women. You've seen to that.

Eugene

As a dad

Probably a little cold and severe, putting a bit too much emphasis on grades and perfection. Despite that, would actually be pretty good. Someone that reads up a lot on how to raise a kid, bonding with them etc etc. to form a somewhat healthy relationship.

The kid

Private school little wunderkind. Will grow up with the absolute best of everything and spoilt too so you would need to keep them grounded. Expected to take over Workers. Business acument and ambition will be drilled into them from an early age.

Vasco

As a dad

What is there to say about Tabasco that we don't already know. Would dote on them hand and foot. An absolute pushover! Their kid pulls out the puppy eyes and it's game over. Would teach them to protect themselves but probably draw the line at anything more.

The kid

Really creative? Vasco would place less emphasis on grades and would help to nurture their interest in the arts. But actually super smart too thanks to Uncle Jace's influence. Tbh I think the kid would be pretty perfect and with the kindest heart and stands up to bullies just like dad!

Zack Lee

As a dad

So so similar to Vasco. Has all these ideas on what they should and shouldn't do as a parent. Kid pops out, and Zack's a goner. Literally would do anything and everything for their child. Go absolutely crazy with pride if the kid is interested in boxing.

The kid

Would have no game... Like dad. Sorry. Good job they would be good looking af to even it out. Not a huge emphasis on education and grades thanks to Zack's influence. More focused on athletics. A little shallow and arrogant, but a huge softy underneath.

Johan Seong

As a dad

Panic and anxiety from the day their kid was born and every day after. First because of worrying about their eyes, second because he's just not comfortable with having an actual dependent. Tries to teach them about the evils of the world. Eventually chills out overall and reverts back to being the gentle-hearted boy he used to be.

The kid

For practical reasons, taught braille from an early age just in case. But otherwise a mini-Johan but without the trauma. Very softly spoken and sweet. Just an absolute ray of sunshine. Always accompanied by their dog, their bff and partner when a fight arises.

538 notes · View notes

livelaughlovesubs · 10 months ago

Note

Ok ok. So I don’t usually like angst but what about WHB mc finally breaking after Sitri time after time has only considered and called them Solomon. Maybe it hurts more because mc has fallen for him so him still not viewing mc as their own person hurts even more? Anyways yeah :) I’m still very annoyed that Sitri consideres the mc as Solomon in WHB :):):)

OH ALSO, it would be kinda cool if Sitri could like hear how mcs heart beat changes and stuff when he calls them Solomon or something around this lines, I was thinking about this all last night.

Ok, hi Nini 💗 how was your dayyyy?? 💗💗

-🐼

Heyyy, my day was pretty good, I like this idea so~ it will probably be short though. (I’m writing so much sfw stuff these days)

Annnd, idk how to write heartbeat, looked it up, and it said ‘lub’ and ‘dub’ soooo

~…..lub…..dub…..lub…..~

A steady heartbeat, rhythmic, like music to his ears. Sitri listened closely to your heart, he can read your mood like that. You were feeling bored, the beat was rather slow. He walked over to you, showcasing a gentle smile, “would you like some tea?” “Ah, sitri..! Yes, tea would be nice, thanks.”

~…dub…..lub..dub…..lub~

The pace got chaotic, but calmed down eventually, seems like you were deep in thought. “I’ll prepare it.” You watched his back while he heated the water, those baby blue locks looked so pretty in your eyes. He was a devil, yes, but even so he is definitely one of the most charming ones. You also liked how attentive he was, he always knew instantly how you felt.

~…lub….dub….lub….~

Your heartbeat got a little faster, were you impatient? He hurried up with the preparation, pouring the water over the leaves, then putting everything on a plate. Careful, diligent steps, not a single drop got wasted, how elegant. Sitri put the plate down on the table in front of you, he was still wearing a small smile. “Thank you, sitri!” You took a sip, and returned the smile to him. “My pleasure, Solomon.”

Ah… right. This time even you could feel your heartbeat drop. You’ve been tolerating him enough, everything with no fail, he always called you by that name. It was as if a needle pierced your heart, as if it got cut down and thrown out. He was attentive, but he was delusional, and that hurt. It hurts a lot.

~…lub-dub….lub….dub..lub…~

The rhythm got hieratic, sitri’s eyes widened a little, was it the effects of the tea? “Solomon-” “stop, sitri, don’t utter that name.” “What do you mean, Solomon?” “Stop it, don’t call me by that name.” “Humans are so strange, why don’t you want me to call you by your name?” “Because it’s not mine!” Maybe it was because of your already shitty mood, but you snapped. “What..Solomon-” “stop! stop..stop, just, stop it…”

~dub-lub..dub…lub..dub-lub~

Ah, what a… raging heart, fast, uneven. It sounded painful, why? This always happened whenever he calls your name, so he thought it was ‘normal’. But this time, you didn’t have an ounce of sympathy, there was only disappointment. “Sitri, think about it, do I look like Solomon to you?”

~lub..dub..lub-dub…lub~

It got louder, it sounded expectant, you told him to think? Right, your appearance wasn’t the same, but the soul, the heart beat, it was the same. You are Solomon, maybe only a reincarnation, but you were him. “I don’t understand, you are Solomon, there is nothing to change about it.”

~lub-dub…lub-dub..lub~

Now it sounded like.. you lost hope? At what, what do you want from him? He didn’t understand humans- no, he didn’t understand you. “Sitri, I need time for myself. Leave.” “But-” “no, sitri, you don’t understand, I just want you to…” he looked at you expectantly, you could see that his eyes were filled with confusion. “To leave me alone for now, please.” Why couldn’t he understand, is he actively refusing to understand? You don’t want to hurt him, and you know he doesn’t want to hurt you neither, though this just won’t work. The devil listened to your heartbeat a last time, you were wavering between two sides, he definitely did something wrong, but what, what should he do, should he just leave? Maybe that’s for the best. So he did, letting out a deep sigh, face twisting into a sad one, and closing the door behind him.

#🐼 anon #whb #what in hell is bad #whb sitri #whb angst #what in hell is bad sitri #sitri #sitri x reader #sitri whb

112 notes · View notes

eerna · 3 months ago

Note

I came across one of your posts about tdp (they're great btw I really like reading them) and one of the tags talked about how the show writers treat Callum like a vile character whose done evil things when he hasn't. Can you elaborate on that? And do you think there's a huge difference between on how the show and fandom treat Callum and rayla?

Aww thanks~ Sure, I don't mind elaborating!

So Callum. This show has a problem where the characters have no logical progress, they just do whatever the plot needs them to do, and Callum is a great example of this. Callum is meant to be an awkward average guy who feels like he doesn't belong anywhere. He's the adopted son of the royal family, which means he's not a peasant who is born into a career, but neither is he a real prince, since he is passed over in the inheritance line. He's not good at being a warrior, or a leader, or any other things that might guarantee him a place in court. Things change when he discovers he has a talent for magic, but since he is human and can't connect to an arcanum, he is forced to choose between letting this one useful thing he's good at go, or doing the "evil" dark magic. An interesting character setup: will he go against what he believes is right to realize his full potential? I wonder where this arc will go! The answer is nowhere, he becomes the first human in history to be able to connect to true arcanum magic the way magical creatures do. Okay, so here is his second character setup: the one and only creature in the world who can connect to EVERY arcanum at once! He will spend each season learning how to connect to different arcanums, and through him, we as the audience will understand the world better. That is exciting, as it's something the magical creatures can't do! Except THAT'S also abandoned right away, and his THIRD setup pretends it never happened and we return to a continuation of the first setup: will he join the dark side and become a vessel for the evil guys to use, will he fall into the same trap of "I would do anything for those I love" as the villains? This could be interesting, but it is now over halfway through the story, so the writers have to resort to cheap writing tricks to make the stakes higher and the tension more real. You see, Callum's "downward spiral" relies on him making bad choices for the right reason, but those bad choices aren't truly bad because the writers are scared of writing a hero who messes up for real. Those bad choices are using dark magic twice, but both times he used it out of selflessness, as a personal sacrifice to save Rayla. He used an already dead ingredient to turn some chains into snakes to save his friend... twice. Both times Rayla reacts as if he'd just slaughtered a whole herd of adorable magical baby deer in front of her. The Starscraper elves say his soul is dark and he has been consumed by evil. The only logical reprimand is given by Sol Regem, who just says "I can smell you've done dark magic before" and gets upset bc Sol Regem is a racist asshole character so it makes sense a single whiff of human magic would anger him. But these other characters are meant to be 100% correct in their assessment of Callum's morality. There is no discussion of whether the end justifies the means, there is no nuance or suggestion that maybe a dead bug is worth saving a life, Callum has done something objectively wrong and should never repeat it again. Here it all dissolves into the age old "is dark magic as presented in TDP morally ok" discourse, which I won't rehash here bc it is well discussed and the TL;DR is: no, TDP didn't do a good job setting dark magic up as an inflexible evil, but the story still acts as if it is one. And it is dumb, because Callum doesn't need to do dark magic to make mistakes! Several times throughout the season I thought they were gonna put him at odds with the rest of the cast, and maybe mess up and "fall into darkness" that way. For example, I thought that when everyone disagreed with him on the topic of destroying Aaravos' prison, he was going to defy everyone out of paranoia (since he is the most sensitive one about this subject) and accidently cause Aaravos' escape that way. But no, they don't even argue over it before finding a solution that makes everyone happy and it turns out that Aaravos was freed by a series of contrivances that tell us nothing new or interesting about any character involved in it, which is CLEARLY a much better story.

This third storyline gets even more muddled by Callum choosing to do the Starscraper Morality Challenge or whatever it's called to try and fix the damage dark magic did to his soul. Okay, so we've established that Callum's love for Rayla makes him act in morally questionable ways, which led to his soul deteriorating, and now this ritual will help him find his way back from it. And so the ritual reveals that he can redeem himself if he focuses on... wait. Am I reading this right? The answer to his issues is RAYLA????? So this means that somehow, loving Rayla is both the reason for his evil deeds, and a way for him not to do evil deeds??? I suppose the story could be saying that loving Rayla doesn't mean doing whatever it takes to save her, but listening to her advice and trusting her when she says she doesn't want to be saved by dark magic, but that is just such a dumb character arc that isn't about Callum or his character arc in the least. His way to deal with his issues has nothing to do with his realizing his potential, it has nothing to do with his journey of connecting to the arcanums. It is a "man needs a woman to act normal" story, and that is just plain dumb and boring and no proper character arc.

And here we transition into your second question. I am not sure what exactly you meant, so feel free to clarify, but I will do my best to answer as is. I think that Rayla and Callum are treated by the fandom EXACTLY the same way as by the show, but sadly this means they suck (it is no secret I was super duper into shipping them once upon a time, so no one is allowed to call me a hater over this opinion). The first two seasons were fine, but from s3 onwards their relationship also faces a lack of a proper arc. In the beginning it seemed like the emotional, gentle Callum was going to de-radicalize the cold, emotionally constipated Rayla and teach her the joys of having people who care for her as a person and not just a weapon. However, this was quickly abandoned for reasons listed in my Runaan family post - Rayla needed a quick escape from her emotional issues to remove any bad parenting responsibility from Runaan and Ethari's backs. From then on their writing problems are a mix of the previously mentioned "characters doing what the plot needs them to do" issue and playing into fan shipping expectations. And thus when they start dating in s3 it is in the blandest, most boring way possible. They are super happy together, they have no friction, Rayla is suddenly more than happy to be emotionally open. Then the plot needs them separated, so she remembers she is supposed to have emotional issues and leaves. Then the plot needs them back together so they start dating. None of this is supported by a logical arc. S3 and onwards reads like a fanfic in the most negative way possible. The "frozen ship" monologue from s6 made me feel like my brain was actively trying to escape my skull, so I KNOW the crew working on the show is aware of the fan perception and are actively playing into them on purpose. Fan tropes are perfect in the context of fanworks, but they also make canon material worse.

Whew. This was long. But Yeah that's basically what I have to say about that.

#eernask #eernanon #eernask talk tdp #tdp dunking

29 notes · View notes

feukt-42 · 23 days ago

Text

Yet another post about Leda

You know, its kind of funny, but I've been browsing ER fanfics and fancontent almost daily for a while now (pls help), and one thing I've noticed is that a lot of people just. do not want. to put Leda and the gang in their fanfics. The most out of all Miquella's followers I found was Ansbach with 68 fics on Ao3. Leda herself comes at second with 48 fics and the others just kind of fizzle out after that. By comparison, Messmer, another DLC character, already has 500 fics.

Now, I know that this in large part due to the Messmer horny. But still. There's been 1,372 fics released in the ER tag since the DLC released as of me writing this. That doesn't really explain it. A good explanation might be that souls fans like to dwell on the pre-canon lore era we don't get to see, but even then, I remain disappointed by the lack of Leda in those fics as well. I have read several Haligtree-or-adjacent-focused fics written post SotE and few of them feature Leda or the needle knights, which is honestly a shame because Miquella having his own order of knights (almost counterbalance to the cleanrots), is a very interesting idea, and I am starving for Leda interacting with literally any member of that cast, her whole deal is just so interesting. And its not like Miquella doesn't care about her and she's just a weird fanboy, he gave her a wholeass rune and shit.

"But OP," you might be asking, "why dont you just write your own fic then ?". And you see, that is an excellent point, but I am unfortunately a coward with no confidence in my writing skills. So instead, I decide to make this.

I hereby present :

My Leda facts/analysis/interpretation/theories collection !

I am making this mostly to gush about Leda to spark interest in her as a character and maybe give interested writers who have actual skill to use this to get some inspiration. By no means am I suggesting that this is a guide everyone should follow, this is mostly just my inane ramblings about a character i am obsessed with. Still, if it helps someone make something, that's a net positive in my book.

without further ado, let's get into it.

Part 1 : Miscellaneous Facts

Fact number 1 : Leda doesn't see grace (at least her character model implies so):

I don't remember where it was, but I remember seeing a post that had every SotE NPC's eye colour in it. And a cool thing about that was that only a few characters didn't have the grace of gold in their eyes. And I remember specifically getting to Leda, noble knight of Miquella, and finding out that her eyes do not have a single trace of gold in them. They are grey with a blood-red clouding.

And I just found that so interesting it made me make this post, because what does it mean ? How did she lose it ? Did she ever have it in the 1st place ? Some of you might be thinking it's because she follows Miquella and not the GO, but the funny part is that, again, most of the others have it !

Hornsent has it, Ansbach has it, Freyja has it, Ymir has it, Moore has it, even the fucking madding hand has it. So why doesnt Leda ? (this also goes for some of the other NPCs who don't have it but im not spinning them in my head like a microwave so too bad ig)

Fact number 2 : She definitely killed the other needle knights

Ok so I already talked about this somewhere but I don't remember where so let's just start over from the beginning. The description of the Retaliatory Crossed-Tree states there were once more Needle Knights but now there's only one left. Meanwhile, Leda's sword says it "still reeks with the stench of crusted blood that lingers from the cull of her knightly comrades". Love myself a good "can't wash away the blood" trope.

Anyways, I took those two facts together to mean that she killed the other Needle Knights and talked about it in that alleged prior conversation I mentioned, but someone else replied that her "knightly comrades" could very well mean Hornsent and Ansbach, whom she attempts to cull before you reach Enir-Ilim. And I wanted to disagree with that, but I didn't actually have any evidence except "it's funnier this way" so you know, fair's fair. Except ! No it isn't !

When you help kill Hornsent, she says this :

He never placed his full trust in me, even under the effect of Kindly Miquella's spell. He must've recognised something. The scent of the killer that slept within me. The stench of crusted blood.

Mind you, this is before killing Ansbach, and right after killing Hornsent. The crusted blood from the cull of her comrades cannot be theirs, meaning Leda did kill the other NKs.

Fact number 3 : She deadass just smells like blood the whole time we see her

As just stated, we have 2 items describing how Leda just smells like dried blood. This has endless comedic potential imo, hear me out :

You first meet this dignified, knightly woman in Mohgs arena. You don't notice anything wrong with her smell, because of course it smells like blood in here, have you seen the place ?

The next time you meet her is in Scadu Altus. You begin to think something does smell really bad here. It's still not her however, because the Hornsent and his canonically shitstained loincloth are standing like 10 meters away from you, likely overpowering the scent.

You only get to realize its her constantly smelling like blood after the charm is broken and Hornsent leaves, and that coincides perfectly with the reveal that she's just paranoid as fuck.

10/10 olfactive storytelling. I mostly just put this fact here in honor of that Bloodborne bosses ranked by smell post tbh, that shit lives rent-free in my brain.

Character analysis time ! This bit is more given to interpretation so feel free to disagree on this :

Shes really not that bloodthirsty you guys

Alright, so this one might be a bit surprising given we just went over the fact she smells like blood, but the popular interpretation of Leda doing this because she likes killing and shit is just dead wrong to me. I spoke about it before, but there are so many lines of dialogue that suggest otherwise. Hell, even the sword description says she tried her damnedest to get the blood to come off. Here are some of the most telling lines i found (from fextralife/the github with all the text from SotE) :

-Her describing herself as a "killer" in that line about hornsent and crusted blood earlier, she seems to be very blunt and honest about what she does, almost to a self-deprecating point.

-I know I shouldn't let myself... But I suppose it's only natural to feel the weight of one's deeds at times like these. There is plenty left to be done. And I will see to it. <- what else do i even add here

-I don't enjoy casting suspicion on anyone I've called a comrade. But it's a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of things. We must eradicate all doubt...

-None can deny Sir Ansbach was truly a great man. We can be proud, that we were the last opponents he ever faced.

-Sir Ansbach must have considered it an honourable end, being felled by your hand. After all, the good fellow held you in the highest regard. When we speak of it, we may speak with pride—that we were Sir Ansbach's final adversaries

Those lines seem to be alternate versions of the dialogue you get after helping her kill Ansbach. And oh my fucking goodness gracious, i fucking love the second one. Like ghhhhhh, the grief for a comrade and the guilt and the self-justification and the need to move forward and theres somehow even more blood on her sword that she can't ever wash off but she can't stop here, she has to keep doing this because its not about her for her, its not about her feelings or her guilt its all just for the greater purpose shes reaching towards arghhh its so good.

There's also a notable throughline of her shutting her emotions down more and more as she goes, whether its to better do her job or to follow in miquella's footsteps :

-Unruly emotions only lead to misfortune. All the more reason we need someone like Miquella the Kind.

-Man is a compassionate animal, for better or worse.

-So be it. If you insist upon facing Miquella the Kind, Then I will run you through, whoever you might be.

-A single betrayal, enough to turn the tides… Unfortunate, but I will leave you be, for now.

-I expected things to end differently with you. What a pity

-I suppose it was Sir Ansbach who won you over. Fine. One more heart for my blade to skewer.

Side Note : Those three last ones also read like shes really salty about being betrayed, and that's really juicy because it feels like she trusted you. She trusted you a lot more than most of the others, so it really stings quite a bit to learn you were lying the entire time.

All in all, it really does feel like she has to shut herself down to be a better knight, a more efficient tool for Miquella to wield. It's also quite tragic because she seems to be a compassionate person at heart, she welcomes you into the club, she constantly tries to understand the reasonings for other people's actions, and she tries to find ways to let those she suspects off the hook :

-The hornsent, hmm. On one hand, he trusts Miquella the Kind to bring salvation to his people. With the enchantment lifted, his vengeful passions may once again ignite, but surely he'd be mindful of Kindly Miquella's promise... <- this reads like her trying to convince herself she doesn't have to kill him

It's also very interesting because despite that, she really doesn't seem to be much of a people person :

-But for this very reason, Thiollier is incapable of betrayal. St. Trina's love for Kind Miquella is boundless. She is, after all, his other half. Or perhaps her feelings go beyond even that. Even if she was left behind, I doubt her heart would waver. <- she's just deadass wrong about Thiollier and St Trina

-If you don't meet her before the charm breaks, she does a really awkward introduction and then immediately starts infodumping about her crippling paranoia and zealotry

-Ansbach straight up just tells you : So, you've taken Lady Leda's side. I'm glad she stands with an ally. She tends to overestimate the burden she might carry alone. This is straight up just "oh nice, you finally made a friend, im so glad for you". This implies that Ansbach didn't believe Leda really had anyone on her side before then, and she kinda doesn't tbh. No one is really here because of Leda in the final battle, Dane is here for Miquella, Freyja is here for Radahn, Moore is here to cope with existence, and Hornsent just has an (understandable) hate boner for everything Golden Order. She doesn't really have any friends.

(Also shoutout to Ansbach for being concerned about the people trying to kill him, he really is the goat fr. Also: I've utterly failed you both... No wait grandpa its not your fault im so sorry)

--the funniest moment in the DLC imo : I've come to a realisation... There's ample evidence... Without Kindly Miquella's influence... I'm quite mistrustful of others...

Ah yes of course, the trust issues. Where do I even start.

This woman has nothing but contempt for mankind as a species. She is, as stated earlier, compassionate and tries to be nice to people but she constantly assumes the worst of everyone as a reflex. Her trying to find a way not to kill Hornsent is only because she wholeheartedly believe he will be the worst version of himself as a baseline, and thus thinks of him as a threat who must be dealt with.

-I'm afraid Sir Ansbach will have to be next. He claims he hasn't the spirit to take up his sword again, But in his day, he was the feared commander of the Pureblood Knights, who cleaved open Miquella the Kind with his blood blade. But I doubt it'll be very long... Before he recalls, as I have, the cascading sheets of blood. <- no trust at all

-her dialogue about you "turning on her" also feel like she's resigned about it, like someone who came in expecting failure and was still disappointed, like why did i even try, i should really know better.

-That aside, man is by nature a creature of conquest. They were never saints. They just happened to be on the losing side of a war. <- the classic. What else needs to be said. These are the words of someone who takes war, violence and hatred as a given.

And that leads me to my next point. I think Leda has had a very violent life overall. Some of the shit she says sounds too specific to just be a generalisation:

-But vengeance changes a man.

-Unruly emotions only lead to misfortune.

-Before he recalls, as I have, the cascading sheets of blood.

-One more heart for my blade to skewer.

-The scent of the killer that slept within me.

This all sounds like she's talking from experience, and there's also her skills as a knight : she has the highest hp pools of the gank squad and can 2-3 shot most players. I know gameplay =/=lore but Freyja respects the hell out of her: Lady Leda and honourable Ansbach are of a special breed.

It's a very interesting combination of an extremely skilled knight who is very good at killing, has presumably been living a very violent existence and who trusts no one but herself, but who also hates having to kill and feels really guilty about it, despite having to do it for the sake of her cause.

And I believe that is the crux of her purpose, and why she is going through so much to fulfill it at any cost:

Leda believes intelligent beings are inherently flawed , and can never be trusted to do anything but make each other suffer. Leda is tired of inflicting and receiving violence, and sees little purpose in seeing the good in others. Leda would have probably made a terrific Lord of Frenzied Flame with how little hope she has.

But instead, she found Miquella. Miquella, who dreams of an age of compassion and who is in a position to achieve it, Miquella, who was raised in an order built and maintained through violence and grew to abhor it. Miquella, who Leda probably sees herself in, who Leda trusts blindly and unconditionally, for whom Leda is ready to commit any atrocity, no matter how it makes her feel, because he is her lifeline. He is her very last hope, the only solution short of complete annihilation she can see for mankind to reach pace.

So what if that peace is forced, is all of this suffering truly worth what little free will we can exert onto our world ? Leda has seen what mankind does with its free will, and she is tired of it.

She doesn't care if she lives to see it, she doesn't care if she has to kill every last part of herself in order for the world to see peace. No one will miss her anyway, she's nothing but a blood-soaked murderer. It doesn't matter if she likes these people, friendship and trust aren't worth all this senseless violence.

So she'll keep killing and killing and culling, until her blade is dull with crusted blood and every last obstacle to Miquella's age of compassion is gone. That's what a Needle knight does, is it not ? Kindly Miquella fashioned us as his needles to quell all, to ward away all.

And if Miquella doesn't understand her, it doesn't matter. He's far too good to understand the sacrifices necessary. She'll do what he can't. The other needle knights did not understand this, they were too naive to do what has to be done, so they were a liability. Don't think about their betrayed looks of terror, don't think about the cloying stench of blood sticking to your footsteps, this is your burden, this is what you deserve. You already knew you couldn't trust anyone, why would this be different ?

If Miquella must cast away parts of his very being to have this world then so can you. So sever that part of yourself that says you should be nice, that you should trust those willing to help, it only makes things worse. It will all be worth it in the end.

Phew, i kind of went apeshit while writing that last part. I hadn't really planned all that honestly.

To conclude this essay, I'd like to point out a really fun parallel to draw here. In this analysis, I have described my interpretation of Leda as a very skilled self-loathing blood-soaked knight who is tired of their endless crusade and yet is endlessly pushed forward by their utter devotion to their god, their salvation made flesh, whom they will shield for the atrocities committed in their name by being the sole person to blame. If that doesnt remind you of Messmer, then i think ill just curl up into a ball and yell very loudly.

Thanks for reading till the end of this absolutely nightmarishly long ramble, let me know if you liked it ! And don't hesitate to send any Leda fics you find or write along the way !

#elden ring #shadow of the erdtree #needle knight leda #character analysis #rambles

20 notes · View notes