#maybe it’s just from watching kj play

[mochimarner]

no because one thing about 1322 is that it haunts the narrative

[writersblockworks]

Shit I did/said as a kid/teen as the Valorant agents (I’ve never had a concussion or broken bones)

Hey guys its close to finals week when im writing this i have no idea when ill post it, but enjoy!!

Brimstone: Took charge of a group project but ended up doing the whole thing myself. (15)

Viper: Willingly grabbed a wild snake to show my mom when I was 3, but cried when they wanted me to hold a tarantula (3 then 6)

Omen: For some reason me and my friends use to play that we lost our memory, we really just used it as an excuse to be mean. (I was 9)

Cypher: Spent hours on an app that let me see city cameras in china or something (9 maybe? I'm not sure)

Sova: The first time i went fishing with my grandfather (RIP grandpa) I was so proud, then i dropped it on the ground and it flopped into the water. (i was 5)

Sage: My friends and i would hop the fence at our elementry school to go pick wildflowers, we had to stop because we got ticks (9 or 10)

Pheonix: My best friend at the time asked me what I would do if my future boyfriend gives me a knuckle sandwaich and I replied that I would eat it. I still would (my now boyfriend would never raise a hand against me) (i was 5)

Jett: A boy was showing off how fast he could run, so i tripped him (i was 8)

Raze: I spraypainted the sidewalk beside my house because i wanted to make art (I wanted to use the spray cans) then i got scolded. (I was 7)

Breech: I am autistic and someone said oh she cant shes autistic, so I bit them i dont know how old i was nor do i remember what they said.

Reyna: I would play the wack a mole game at the arcade so I could use the hammer to hit my best friend, she did the same to me (8?)

KillJoy: When i played Valorant for the first time my online friend made me play KJ because i was german (17)

Skye: While i was going my usual tree climbing, i saw a spider. I decided to fall to the ground, I got up just fine, then climbed a diffrent tree where i found a bee hive. (idk 11? maybe) Yoru: When I fIrst got glasses and I could actually see, I looked at my nana and asked her what happened to her face, then I threw up (I was 4)

Astra: I love the stars so much, I used to think we all became stars when we died because the movie princess and the frog, and I cried when the cathloic church said we didnt (I was 6)

KAY/O: In MMA class we had to do an excersize where the others would have to stop us from making it to the other side. Most of the kids dog piled on me, a 150 pound boy got on my back, yet I still made it across the room (idk I was 11 and weak, but for a treat after, I was strong) Chamber: My friend taught us pole dancing at recess and for some reason the teachers never stopped us. (we were in 5th grade about 10?)

Neon: I watched my younger brother slide into the Oven door. My parents for some reason put it in the living room. I tried to help him by saying it was the dog. However Our dog was living with my grandparents. (7?)

Fade: Spent a whole hour meowning at a random cat in France (I was 12, and where were my parents?) Harbor: I am a huge history nerd, I did three book reports on the titanic, Then when we had to be characters for a fake museum where we would have to preform for epople I decided to be the drunk man that survived (I was 10, why didnt a teacher tell me no?)

Gekko: I had one of the electronic Furbies, i still have that yellow shit. Me and my brother were playing with him and he turned evil and we got so scared. For a month we made our mom put him under a flowerpot with 2 bibles on top of it. (I actually dont know how old I was)

Deadlock: My grandma gave me a sewing kit for one of my birthdays so I just threw it at people (6)

Iso: Collected little rocks at recess then put them in the shoes of kids I didnt like (6)

Clove: Jumped off the top of the playground because I wanted to impress my crush, then I hit my head on the slide pole. Surprisingly I ended up being just fine.

Vyse: ummm I had a Wiggle (if anyone remembers those) and I would constantly bully it. I actualy dont know how old I was but I was a kid

Honorable mention: I farted in church when i was 4 and blamed it on Jesus and apparently you’re not supposed to do that. Also this is a rough memory and stir from the top of my head, I have childhood trauma

Anyways i finally got therapy. Byeeee working on a request rn

[sophie1973]

Several Sentence Sunday

I was tagged by @thighzp and @tailsbeth-writes this week

Here is another snippet from my Christmas fic coming December 26 and which is progressing nicely.

Tags under the cut

As Henry gathers his things, Alex just can’t help himself. "So. You save animals, you write articles for the newspaper, and if my daughter is to be believed, you’re the ‘coolest dad ever.’ Is there anything you can't do?"

Henry pauses, a slight smirk playing on his lips. "Well, I'm rubbish at karaoke. And despite living here for years, I still can't wrap my head around Fahrenheit and inches. My brain stubbornly clings to Celsius and meters, I'm afraid.” Alex’s eyes narrow at Henry’s placid response. What would it take to crack that unflappable, oh-so-British goddam exterior? He opens his mouth to retort, but June returns from the restroom. "All set!" she announces cheerfully. To Alex's bewilderment and increasing irritation, Henry leans in and kisses June lightly on the cheek. Seriously, what’s with all the kissing with this guy? Is he fucking half-French or something? "Thanks again for your input, June. Enjoy your lunch, both of you," Henry says with a warm smile. Alex watches Henry go before turning back to June. “Are you really sure that guy’s not into you?”  June rolls her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous. Let’s go, I’m starving.” Alex bites his tongue, realizing that pursuing this line of questioning will only sour his lunch with his sister. Besides, it's clear June doesn't see what he sees when it comes to Henry Fucking Fox. But maybe it’s time he and Mr Perfect have a conversation.

Tagging with no pressure : @onthewaytosomewhere @stellarmeadow @iboatedhere @theprinceandagcd

@blueeyedgrlwrites @bitbybitwrites @orchidscript @anincompletelist @whimsymanaged

@priincebutt @14carrotghoul @reagcdfox @kj-bee

@miharaikko @magicmelinoe @milowren29 @suseagull5914

@caterpills @firenati0n @taste-thewaste

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Fiction, Adult, Fantasy, Humor

Rating: 3.5 out of 5

Content Warning: Violence, Death, Suicide, Sexual content, Torture, Murder, Sexual assault, Rape, Genocide           

Summary: From bestselling author Django Wexler comes a laugh-out-loud fantasy tale about a young woman who, tired of defending humanity from the Dark Lord, decides maybe the Dark Lord doesn’t have it all wrong after all, perfect for fans of Terry Pratchett and KJ Parker.

Davi has done this all before. She’s tried to be the hero and take down the all-powerful Dark Lord. A hundred times she’s rallied humanity and made the final charge. But the time loop always gets her in the end. Sometimes she’s killed quickly. Sometimes it takes a while. But she’s been defeated every time.

This time? She’s done being the hero and done being stuck in this endless time loop. If the Dark Lord always wins, then maybe that’s who she needs to be. It’s Davi’s turn to play on the winning side.

*Opinions*

I watch a lot of bookish content, which is why my TBR continues to grow and not shrink, but this is another read influenced by social media. It was a five-star read for the Booktalker (booksandlala) and the premise sounded interesting to me, so I requested it from the library. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it was not what I got out of this novel. This was a satirical, fourth-wall-breaking romp through this fantasy world of Wexler’s creation. While I enjoyed my time in this world (though with a few critics) this novel will not be for everyone.

How to Become the Dark Lord or Die Trying follows Davi, a chosen one sent from Earth to a fantasy realm to save the Kingdom. The only problem? She keeps failing at this task and dying over and over and over again. The good news is that she always returns to where she started, a pool where she first emerged—the bad news, after a couple of thousand years that gets really old. Eventually, Davi decides that she wants to be on the winning team and tries not to save the kingdom, but become the Dark Lord that eventually destroys it. While there are a lot of false starts on this path as well, eventually Davi has a small horde of Wilders, and on her way to the meeting that will choose the next Dark Lord. However, without knowing how things work on this side of the world, Davi has to rely on her wits and a whole lot of luck to get the title she so dearly wants. Then again, if she dies, she can just try again, right?

The way that Wexler wrote this fantasy novel was reminiscent of a Mel Brooks movie, though I would not state that it is executed as well as one of those movies. Davi takes every well-worn fantasy trope and turns it on it’s head during her time attempting to become the Dark Lord, including murdering her quest giver multiple times. The issue I have is that near the end of the novel, is that Wexler attempts to go from a funny romp to serious questions about the world and Davi mentally manages the change in her understanding of how the world works. I understand that satirical novels need a plot, but the shift to serious lore and Davi losing her mind a little was a pretty serious shift, which is then forgotten after a couple of chapters.

The internal logic of this novel did not work at times well, which I didn’t get too hung up on given that this is a humorous novel, but I did catch it. The biggest one is that Davi does not remember anything about her life before coming to this fantasy world, she mentions this multiple times, yet she uses almost exclusively pop culture and known references from our world. You would think that after a couple of thousand years, she would forget movie lines along with what she used to do for a living. You would also think that she would catch on to the lore and myths of this world and use their slang. She is able to speak Wilder, but decides to confuse everyone around her constantly by continuing to talk in Earth references. I get that it is the humor of the novel, but it didn’t make sense within the logic of the world Wexler developed.

While I enjoyed my time with this novel, but most readers will know within the first twenty-five pages whether they like the narrative voice or if it is going to drive them insane. When describing the humor and overall narrative voice to a friend, I stated that it reminded me of Youtubers, especially in the gaming sphere, in the heyday of its popularity. Think like Smosh or early Markipler and Jacksepcticeye. If that is not the type of humor you enjoy, Davi is going to get on your nerves immediately. At times, I even found her a bit too much but I was enjoying the twist on a fantasy novel that I was able to push through those instances, which happened mostly at the beginning of the novel. Another writing aspect that did not really work for me was any time Davi was thinking about sex, which was a lot (see my comment about Youtuber humor). Now there were not the more egregious issues of a man writing a female main character, but there was something in the way that he wrote her horniess that made it clear the author was a man. I am not saying that women cannot be extremely horny, it is the way that it was written. I wish I had a better way to describe it. Again, I watched a lot of Youtube in my day so I was able to deal with it, but I can see it being an issue for other readers.

I personally did not like Davi a lot, but the surrounding characters were enough to push me through when she was extremely annoying. Still, even the primary romance didn’t hold my attention, mostly due to the issue I had with how Davi was written in terms of her thoughts on sex and her pursuing those needs. I did like her love interest, they were one of the few sincere characters in this novel.

I know this all makes it sound as if I didn’t enjoy the novel, but I had a good time while I was reading it. I just never found that I wanted to pick it back up. This is a story that I am interested in seeing where it is going, especially given the ending, but I will be picking it up from the library. This is a 3.5 read

[sillingers]

nick blankenburg on ‘the inside edge’ radio show 2.15.23

i listened to this live and tried to take as many notes for characterization and blanks tidbits as possible so here we go:

didn’t start working out until freshmen year of college officially

likes lower body workouts best

is looking for a new gym this summer and might work with z

has yet to see z in the gym bc of his injury but says he’s a ‘beast’ in the room

jody shelley complimented his ‘big’ thighs. nick said they’ve ‘been bigger’ but he had less rigorous offseason training this summer bc of his knee surgery. jody then told nick ‘sorry i didnt mean to be looking at you’ because nick ‘looked like he was about to run out of the room’ in their opinion, and nick joked that he was wearing shorts so they’re out there. this whole ordeal was a lot to take in.

he said ‘oh yeah’ about ten times in two minutes with varying degrees of breathiness/elongation. i can let you interpret that as you will.

loves hitting people. says he always played physical because he grew up with an older brother and that’s just always been his game, so he doesn’t foresee it changing.

but he is working on being more intentional and careful with where he places his body on plays, as well as his off ice routines, to stay healthy and not be injured

adamantly refuses to dial down his physicality

thinks his compete and physicality is one of the reasons he’s here, he’s always played that way and it’s just who he is as a player

says being a right handed d on the left side is a challenge and it’s pushing him to be better

is a good lesson/challenge for him

good to have on his resume that he can play either side wherever he’s needed

stressed several times that he just wants to do what’s best for the team and do whatever it takes to play for them and just help the team anyway he can, whether that’s playing a different side or a special team or whatnot

just genuinely happy to be here and wants to do everything and anything he can

did not catch every detail but he talked specifically about the challenges of being a right shot on the left side like when peeker is feeding him passes on the point or when they’re going to break up ice and he’s catching pucks on his strong or weak side differently than he’s used to

when he was out for 9 weeks he spent a lot of time watching his game tape and trying to improve his play, he watches ‘probably all the game tape i have’ 

tries to stay positive and not be too hard on himself when injured and he doesn’t think any of the injuries he’s had even back at umich were a result of him playing too physical (read: yappy chihuahua wants to be an ankle biter and refuses to stop. denies that being an ankle biter has ever gotten him in any trouble)

says sometimes he thinks his family and friends know his game better than he does because they always tune in and text him after his games

loves the traveling that comes with being an nhl player, thinks he’s really lucky to have this job because it’s an easy and fun job that not many people get

“if you told me maybe 6 or 7 years ago that i’d be here i’d have never believed you”

really likes meeting all the fans and seeing them at warmups

definitely misses yost especially after getting to go back with kj

actually misses his classes. he studied international studies which dealt with political and economic development, he had lots of case studies of nations where a political/economic structure was either a great success or big failure

had to take 6 semesters of a language as required for his major. lasted 2 days in spanish, then tried german but it was too hard. he settled on swahili, which he took for 4 semesters, and then quechua (a latin american language he thinks is from peru but honestly couldn’t tell you where it’s from); said these were with 3 other unnamed teammates

wants to go on a mission trip in africa and hopes he can use his swahili notes there. is willing to teach jody but ‘it might cost you something’ because the class was expensive

loves cbus bc it feels like a college town just like ann arbor

didn’t think he’d ever actually say he loves columbus ohio but here he is

also loves how close it is (3 hours) to home

he’s really blessed to be here and couldn’t be happier with how it all worked out and the chance he has thanks to the jackets

the city and the fans have welcomed him so nicely

lives downtown in an apartment which is close by ‘the other young guys’ , they all live nearby 

says they do a lot of group dinners and will watch golf or football or some sport on tv together

loves that they have such a big group of young guys and they have that connection with each other and he has the ability to hang out with all them

primarily does hang out with the younger guys. likes having people around his age bc it reminds him of college. another thing he likes ab cbus is its a young city thanks to all the college kids/recent grads

also loves the restaurants cbus has (he didn’t name any in particular but said they’re all great)

is going to dinner with some of the umich guys before their games against osu, is hoping naur lets them out of team dinner to see him and kj

jody asked if nick would pay and he said he’d take his card out but that he hopes kj takes his card out too so they can split the bill

they brought up the osu-umich outdoor game, which nick said is an awesome opportunity to play in and looks super fun

played an outdoor game vs. notre dame, actually played against peeke who was at nd at the time. umich won 

very humble and appreciative of the opportunity he has to play in the nhl and live out his dream and do something he loves every night

the 82 game schedule is definitely hard mentally but that the challenges have made him a better person (yes, he specified person, not hockey player)

jody said that this and his positive mindset are a great attitude to have and will ‘help him stay here for a long time’ 

i just think jody loves nick as much as the rest of us

sometimes still pinches himself to see if it’s real 

jody shelley is obsessed with nick blankenburg just like me fr 

i think this is it he actually talked a lot so it was hard to keep track of everything but this is definitely all the main things

[amuppetreference]

Research Notes, 6-12-22

i have completed the first stage of research on mis. now i just have to go through her communications and posts by others (mostly denise). frankly, i think she might be the only rival of kj's to match his intensity. given enough time, she might establish a following in her own right. and she's the only one i know of to have biblical kin (she claims to be mary, mother of god), and her obsession with miss piggy definitely has a religious aspect.

oh, and she might be blackmailing the dalai lama. that isn't relevant to anything, but i think it is interesting.

in other news, several people have pointed out kj seems to be attributing quotes from the great play equus. this is strange, as equus is about a young man whose pyscho-sexual, deeply religious fixation on horses as well as his father issues eventually leads to him blinding six horses in a stable he had been working at. there are some key differences. alan strang did not hate horses, he loved them way too much. he saw horses as a replacement or escape from his father instead of rival for his father's affection, and sought out work at the stables. alan was sexually fixated on the horse equus in ways that mirror kj's fixation on his kermit plush. kj has been complaining that he feels his kermit plush is watching him, and if you have seen or read equus you know this is... concerning. i should also note that equus was inspired by a real-life incident.

is this intentional? i doubt kj would be able to get through it, due to all the horses. maybe he just wanted to see daniel radcliffe naked, which definitely led many a teenage girl and gay boy to the play in my youth.

in other news, the soul virus situation continues to develop. i will to monitor it, and hopefully i will find some time to update the entry soon. i realize this is a matter of great importance, but i promised to prioritize the winner of the poll and i am nothing if not a person of integrity.

i must keep it together. i do not want to subject my loved ones to the horrors i document. if i go too far, i might end up like martin dysart.

signed,

the curious

[sarahsmi13s]

Jersey Baby (18+ MDNI)

pairing: jake ‘hangman’ seresin x sarah grant (fem!oc)

characters: sarah grant, jake seresin, bradley and the squad at the end

warnings: 18+ MDNI SMUT, language, breeding kink, pussy slapping, oral (fem receiving), p in v sex, eating out in the kitchen, bradley gets traumatized, sport rivalry (UT vs U of A; Longhorns vs Razorbacks), pregnancy,  i think that’s it

word count: ~4.1k 

a/n: this isn’t really crucial to the story, i just thought it would be fun to write! this is how ever how the finn twins were brought into existance 😂

this story is inspired by ‘His Little Girl’ (bradley bradshaw x reader) by the lovely @roosterscockpit  ( @milesdickpic ) and characters from this story are mentioned. also, yes, the oc is based on me lol (well a fantasy version lol)  

big thank you to mama may ( @mayhemmanaged ) for her help on this

you can find out more about j and s --- here

loose summary: the dagger squad comes up with a game once they see how competitive jake and sarah are when it comes to college football --- let’s just say the loser really becomes the winner

********************

Sarah knew exactly what she did to land her in this position. And she didn’t regret a damn thing.

If anything it was Jake’s fault.

Okay maybe they were both to blame. But Jake chose this punishment, so it’s mostly on him.

******

Last week, Arkansas played Texas. Which means – the Razorbacks played the Longhorns. Which also means – Jake and Sarah were constantly shit talking in the days leading up to it.

The Dagger Squad was concerned for a minute because they thought they were fighting. But Coyote cleared things up for them. “Guys, Sarah’s from Arkansas. She’s a U of A alum. And Jake is from Texas, a Longhorn fan since birth. This is just playful banter, it doesn’t mean much.”

“KJ Jefferson can run circles around Quinn Ewers!” “Not with a concussion he can’t!” “It’s not a concussion!” The squad watched the two stare the other down at the pool table.

“I wanna kiss you so bad right now,” Jake said, his voice low to where only she could hear it. “Yeah?” He nodded before pulling her in for a kiss.

Fanboy’s mouth fell open, “What the fuck just happened?” Rooster laughed, “They have been all over each other since they watched Leia this past weekend. I’m surprised they’re even out.”

“Hey guys, Sarah and I are headed home,” Jake said as he passed the table, knocking his knuckles on it as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and took off toward the door.

So much for staying out.

*****

By the time game day rolled around, the squad came up with a game. Whenever one of them has a good burn or comeback, they get a point. And the winner gets to pick a punishment for the loser. But points weren’t revealed until the end of the game.

When they brought this up to the couple, their minds ran wild with ideas and both agreed.

Game time came and the squad made room on the couch for Jake and Sarah to sit by each other. But the couple sat on opposite sides of the room, each in a chair. “Ummm?” The squad looked to Coyote for help in understanding, “You don’t want them next to each other, trust me. I had popcorn in places popcorn should not be.” 

Jake opens his mouth before the game even starts, “Hey, y’all know what it’s called when Arkansas thinks they can take down the Horns? A PIGment of their imagination.” “Nice pun, but it’s a bunch of BULLshit. We’re giving y’all a free ride to the slaughter house.”

Coyote sighed and gave them each a point, “And we’re off..” 

Then the game started and they began watching.

Even though the squad focused more on what the two were saying.

The Longhorns got a pretty good start, getting a good lead pretty early in the game.

“You know, everything’s bigger in Texas,” Jake said, looking at the squad before trailing his eyes over to Sarah. “Even the gap between scores.” Rooster marked Jake down for a point.

Sarah wrinkled her nose and smiled, “Well… not everything.”

Fanboy had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing as he marked her down for a point.

“That’s not what you said last night,” Jake said with a shit-eating grin on his face. Rooster marked him down for another point.

At one point, the Hogs had a good possession, and then threw away the next one.

“Well, that’s just too bad… I guess the ‘natural state’s just naturally bad,” Jake drawled, laying the accent on thick. Sarah just glared at him and huffed before turning back to the game.

The first half was just not looking good for Arkansas, and Jake was thriving.

“Looks like these piggies are gonna be crying ‘boo’ all the way home,” Jake said once halftime started.

“Just wait, we’re gonna make a comeback, just need a good ass chewing,” Sarah said, mumbling the last part. Jake nodded, “Oh sure, yeah, when your pigs fly Sugar. They can’t close this gap.”

Sarah rolled her eyes and threw popcorn at him, “Whatever.”

Jake laughed, picking pieces of the snack off his jersey, “See guys, when you roll with pigs, it’s gonna get dirty. Only problem is, only the pig likes it.” The squad looked at Sarah, scared that Jake just fucked up.

But Sarah just hummed and stood up, grabbing her now empty bowl and putting empty cans and bottles in it.

She walked around Jake, hand slipping under his jersey as she leaned close to his ear, “I thought you liked when I got dirty Jake? Guess I was wrong.” Jake shivered a little and turned his head to catch her lips before she sauntered away to get more drinks.

The squad and Jake watched her leave before the squad brought their eyes back to Jake. He was looking longingly towards the kitchen, shifting a little in his seat. 

“You good, Bagman?” Bradley asked. Jake’s eyes snapped back to the group and he cleared his throat, “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.”

****

The second half was really a turning point for Arkansas, they were getting traction and little errors were made.

“Would you look at that, pigs can fly,” Sarah smirked at Jake as they came back and kept Texas from scoring in the third quarter. Jake just rolled his eyes.

At the beginning of the fourth quarter, a flag was thrown for a false start and she said, “Man, everyone in Texas just seems to go too early.” No one missed her glance towards Jake, and Rooster gave her two points for that.

She was in trouble the minute she said that, and she knew she was in for it that night and a very lazy Sunday the next day. The glint in Jake’s eyes meant he was going to make her cum 10 different ways before he even thought about it.

She winked and went back to the game.

****

By the end, Arkansas came out on top.

While that was great and Sarah could rub the victory in Jake’s face, there were bigger stakes.

“Who won?”

“Yeah, who won?”

The squad looked down at the board, and sighed. “I’m sorry, Sarah. Jake won,” Coyote said, sighing. “It was really close, like a two point difference,” Fanboy pointed out.

Sarah hung her head, “I guess I can’t be too upset, Jake does have a big mouth.” Jake wrapped his arm around her waist, “We both got some pretty good ones in there. I just know how to piss you off.” She huffed out a laugh, “That you do.”

She sighed and stepped away, holding her arms out, “Welp, rules are rules. What’s my punishment?”

Jake smiled and slipped his jersey off, leaving him in a white t-shirt. He slipped it over her head, “You, my darling-” He worked it over her Razorback shirt. “-have to wear Longhorns apparel in public, and around the house, for a week.”

“You’re not serious,” Sarah said, eyes basically pleading for anything else. “Oh, I’m very serious,” Jake said, smirking.

Payback shook his head, “Hold on, that’s it? That’s all she has to do? Wear clothes with a bull on it. Hangman, come on.”

“Oh, she’s gonna be miserable, but look so so cute,” Jake told him. “I look awful in orange,” Sarah huffed out, crossing her arms. “No you don’t, Sugar.”

“I can’t wear this to school, I have to look professional.” Jake sighed, “Okay, you don’t have to wear it to work, but you change before practice, so you have to wear it then.” Sarah huffed again, “Alright.”

They shook hands.

“This is gonna suck.”

****

It was finally over, Sarah’s week of wearing Longhorns apparel was over.

She had to admit, Jake’s clothes were comfy and she loved wearing his sweatpants. But the fact her students and players knew how much she didn’t like the team her boyfriend adored, made it worse.

They teased her about it saying, “You finally caved? Wow Coach, I’m disappointed.” Or anything of the like.

But now it was Saturday and Jake didn’t have weekend duty, but he and Bradley went to go look at deck furniture for Bradley and Alyssa while Sarah stayed home and cleaned.

She had on Longhorn leggings Carter had gotten her as a joke and a sweatshirt of Jake’s; wanting to be comfortable but presentable because she had to go get groceries before Jake got home.

When she got home from the store she had 45 minutes before Jake would be walking through the door.

So she had 45 minutes to put her plan in motion.

She went in and straight to the kitchen to unload the groceries, taking maybe 10 minutes to put away the cold items. Then she went upstairs and freshened up with a quick shower.

Standing in the mirror, Sarah fixed her hair and did her makeup. Once she was done, she went to Jake’s side of the closet and pulled out a custom jersey she had her sister make for him.

As she slipped it on, her phone went off. It was a text from Jake saying that he’d be home soon and that he may or may not have bought her a new desk chair. She smiled at the thought and sent him a thank you and drive safe before she went downstairs to put her plan into motion.

****

When Jake pulls into the driveway, he’s rushing to turn it off, get the box out of the bed and hurry inside. He wanted to show Sarah the new desk chair he got her because the old one was broken and she’d been eyeing the one he just bought.

He gets in the house and immediately goes to put the chair box in the living room.

“Sugar! I’m home!”

“I’m in the kitchen, just putting away some groceries!”

Jake perked up at that and went to the kitchen to help her.

When he turned the corner, Sarah was refilling a cereal container before attempting to put it in its rightful spot on top of the fridge.

“Let me help with that,” he said, coming up behind her to put it up there.

“Thank you honey,” she said, turning to give him a kiss. “You’re so welcome Sugar.”

She laughed when she pulled away and started putting away other items.

This gave Jake time to take in what she was wearing.

And Texas orange never looked so good.

“Is that,” he crossed his arms and leaned on the counter. “Is that my jersey?” Jake knew the answer, his call sign was stamped to the back of it, he just wanted to hear her say it.

She nodded as she restocked the tea bags. “It is.”

Jake’s grin stretched across his face, “Well you look good Sugar.” Sarah smirked, “I am good, Baby, I’m very good.” She winked before bending over the counter to put the container back in its place…

Which gave Jake a perfect view of her bare ass.

And if he was already hard seeing her in the jersey, his jersey, he was painfully hard now.

He audibly groaned and his stomach swooped.

“You alright Honey?” Sarah asked as she stood up straight.

He nodded, “Jus’ fine Sugar.” She nodded and moved around the kitchen.

Jake’s eyes never left her bare legs as his mind concluded that she most likely wasn’t wearing a bra either. “I do have one question though.”

“Shoot.”

“Why aren’t you wearing underwear? Not that I’m complaining because I’m definitely not.”

Sarah giggled before walking over to him. Her arms went around his neck and her eyes trailed up to meet his.

“I realized that I technically didn’t follow the rules,” she said, playing with the hair at the base of his neck. He swallowed, “What do ya mean by that?”

She tilted her head a little and sighed sadly, “I don’t have Longhorn underwear. So, according to the rules…” One of her hands came to rest on his chest. “I shouldn’t be wearing any.”

Jake groaned as his hands found Sarah’s hips. “You’re gonna be the death of me…”

She giggled and moved in closer, “Rules are rules, Lieutenant…”

Growling, he surged forward and claimed her lips in a kiss.

Sarah smiled into the kiss as Jake’s arms snaked around her back and pulled her flush against him. Jake walked them both back to the corner of the counter, caging her in with his legs.

Jake got two handfuls of her ass and squeezed, causing her to gasp and moan against his mouth.

She can feel his hard on against her but as she goes to undo his belt, he stops her. “Not yet, Sugar.” Sarah whines but before she could complain Jake hoists her onto the counter top. She pulls him back to her and presses her lips to his.

He smirks against her lips before kissing her neck as his hands roam her torso, groping and squeezing at her hips and chest over the jersey. “Jake… baby please.” One of his hands cups her cheek, “Is my Razorback impatient?” She pouted and he chuckled, “Typical Hog…”

His unoccupied hand slipped under the jersey and his fingers lightly gracing her ribs before taking the weight of a breast in his palm.

She whimpered slightly and he felt his dick twitch at the sound. “Okay, okay, since you’ve gone through enough torture this week, I’ll spare you some now.”

Jake sank to one knee, his hands going to her calves and trailing up as he kissed her thighs.

He hooked his hands under her knees and pushed up, opening her up to him. “God, you’ve got such a pretty pussy, Sugar.” She moaned as licked his lips before placing a hot kiss to her clit.

“Oh fuck~ In the kitchen Jake?”

“It’s where the best meals come from, Sugar.”

One of Sarah’s hands carded itself into Jake’s hair as he dove back in, his tongue flattening against her cunt. “Oh Jake~”

He groaned against her as she tugged at his hair.

Jake’s lips created a vortex around her clit. “Jake! Oh my~” The long moan that followed her words had him groaning, sending vibrations through her.

She was mewling and letting out high pitched moans, pulling at his hair but the position she had put her in gave her little control. Her toes barely scraped the counter, so she couldn’t grind against his face properly.

Jake looked up at Sarah’s face as he released her clit to catch his breath, “You taste so sweet, Sugar~” He dipped his tongue into her entrance as he nuzzled into her pussy.

Her hand in his hair pulled him closer, making his nose bump her clit. “Please Jake, I need more, I’m so close.” The band in her core was hot and getting pulled tighter and tighter, but it wasn’t enough.

The whimpering and the tugging of his hair, just made him hungrier. Jake’s ears were being blessed with filthy but angelic sounds, and he couldn’t help but growl against his girlfriend’s sopping wet cunt.

He flattened his palms against the backs of her thighs and pushed them towards her chest and farther apart.

Jake pulled back, licking Sarah’s slick off his lips and chin as he watched her pussy twitch and clench around nothing.

“Jake, Darlin’, what the fuck?” She whined as the hand still in his hair tried to bring him back where she needed him most.

He chuckled and looked up and at her, his green eyes met her brown ones as they sparkled. “I’m sorry Sugar. I needed to catch my breath.”

Jake squeezed one of her thighs, “Hold this for me would ya?” Sarah rolled her eyes playfully but hooked her free hand under her knee. “Thank you, Sugar,” Jake said with a smirk.

He leaned in and placed a kiss on her clit before coming back and running his middle and index finger through her folds. He felt her clit twitch and he grinned, “That feel good, pretty girl?” “Yes~” Sarah managed to respond.

All the Texan could do was bite his lip before he brought his hand back and then down against her pussy; a wet slap and the Arkansan’s moan filled the kitchen.

“Fuck, baby~” She managed before yelping when he did it again. “Does my pretty girl like that? Does she like getting her pretty pussy slapped?” Sarah’s head banged against the cabinet, “Yes! Yes, she does! Oooh fuuuck~” In the middle of her answer, Jake had slapped her cunt again.

Jake just grinned and licked what he could off his hand before grabbing her thigh again.

He held eye contact as he dove back in, lapping at the wetness between her thighs.

Obscene sounds echoed in the kitchen. The wet, sloppy noises coming from between Sarah’s thighs and the moans coming from her spit covered lips.

“Jake, fuck! Please~”

“‘Please’ what, Sugar?” Jake hummed, kitten licking her clit.

“Please make me cum! I need to cum~” Sarah whined, panting as she looked down at her boyfriend.

Jake groaned and buried his face in her center. His tongue dipped in and out of her, his nose brushing against her clit.

Sarah moaned out his name, pulling him closer as her thigh fought to close around his head – but of course Jake wasn’t about to let her do that.

He could feel her clench around his tongue before he once again created a vortex around her clit, the wet sounds sending her over the edge.

“Jake Jake Jake~ Fuuuuck!”

Her thighs trembled in his hands and her hand gripped his hair tightly.

Jake brought her down from her orgasm gently, praising her as she calmed down. “You did so good for me Sugar.”

He changed his grip on her thighs as he stood up.

“You okay Darlin’?” Jake asked with a chuckle as she panted.

Sarah nodded, humming softly as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “We’re gonna have to clean the kitchen before guests get here for the game…”

“In due time, Sugar… I need to take you to bed.”

“Lead the way Cowboy~”

Jake captured her lips and picked her up off the counter.

****

Jake didn’t need to see to get to their room, he’d navigated the path blindly plenty of times.

Once they got to their room, Jake dropped her on the bed – going with her because she didn’t want to part.

Sarah kissed down his throat, nails scratching the back of his head.

“Sugar, I’m wearing too many clothes,” he groaned out. “Then take them off,” she told him before kissing his neck again.

He weaved his hand into her hair and pulled her back.

“Ah~” “I can’t do that with you attached to me, Sugar.”

She pouted but let him go so he could undress. Jake smiled and stepped back.

He pulled his shirt off and went to work on his belt quickly. As he got it open and took it off, he saw Sarah reach for the bottom of the jersey.

“Jersey stays on.”

Sarah stopped moving and nodded, “Yes sir.”

Jake smirked and slipped his shoes off before sliding his pants and boxers down his legs.

He walked over and yanked her to the edge of the bed, making her yelp a little in surprise. He leaned down and kissed her deeply as he pushed two fingers inside of her, scissoring them to open her up.

When he removed them, he brought them to her mouth, “Open Sugar, get a taste of how sweet you are.” She did as told and took his digits into her mouth, bobbing her head a little bit.

Jake smiled at her, gently caressing her cheek before gripping the jersey in the valley between her breasts with that same hand.

In a swift, calculated motion he pushed himself to hilt, making her gasp and moan around his fingers.

“Ooooh fuck!~”

He gave her a second before she fluttered around him and he removed his fingers to hold her hand. “You ready? I’m going hard and fast.”

“Fuck me Jake!”

He smirked, “As you wish~”

Jake started pounding into her. His fist balled up in the orange jersey and her tits moved beneath it – the friction of the material doing wonders for her. His thrusts punched moans out of her, and her moans just made him harder.

Her walls clenched and fluttered around him, and her pussy just felt so good. Jake was a southern mess above her, while she was no better underneath him.

“Fuck~ Darlin’ it’s like you was made for me,” he punctuated that with a groan.

“Pussy squeezin’ me so fuckin’ good~ I know you’s fuckin’ close, make a mess of my dick, Sugar~”

She moaned underneath him and pulled him to her lips.

Jake propped his knee up on the bed and let go of the jersey in favor of cradling her head.

“Jake, fuck~ Your cock fills me so perfectly~”

His hips stuttered and he groaned.

Sarah looked into his green eyes, “I love you.” “I love you too.” Jake melded their lips together as she came around him.

She pulled back and let out a guttural moan against his mouth, making him falter in his rhythm.

“Put a baby in me, Jake. Fill me up until it takes. Make me mama~”

The moan Jake let out was deep in core as the tingle in his spine became lightning shooting up his back and he spilled into her.

“Fuckfuckfuckfuck–fuuuuck~”

He collapsed on top of her, both panting and sweaty messes.

They laid there for a few minutes, collecting themselves before Jake propped himself up on shaking arms.

“That was…” “Good.”

They laughed together before kissing sweetly.

Sarah sighed and looked over and noticed the time.

“Shit, it’s 5:30…”

“What happens at 5:30?”

“The game starts at 6, Jake.”

In his fuzzy, post-orgasmic brain it didn’t click right away.

“Why does that-”

Then it clicks.

“Shit…. They’ll be here any minute,” he hung his head.

He carefully pulled out, making them both sigh before going to the bathroom to get a rag and clean them both up.

He kissed Sarah on the forehead, “Are you gonna be okay while I go clean the kitchen?” She nodded, “We can cuddle during the game.” He smiled and pecked her lips, “I’ll put your Razorback leggings and sweatshirt out, along with some underwear.”

“Can you put your cologne on the sweatshirt?” He nodded and kissed her again. “I can do that.”

Jake got dressed and put Sarah’s clothes out, spraying his cologne on the pale yellow sweatshirt.

“Call me if you need me Sugar.” “I will.”

****

Jake gets downstairs and goes to the kitchen, immediately getting the spray and a paper towel to clean the surface of the counters.

About halfway through, the doorbell rang and he jogged over to answer it.

“Can I help- Rooster?”

Bradley just waved.

“Why did you ring the bell? You know you can just come in.”

He crossed his arms, “I needed to make sure you and Sarah were done.”

Jake was confused, “Done?”

Bradley’s face went red. “Hangman, I got here about 10 minutes ago and came in. I thought I was loud…”

Jake’s brow was still furrow but then his face dropped in realization. Bradley had heard them.

But he wasn’t embarrassed. No, he thought it was funny.

“Well, I guess that’s payback for what I’ve had to hear.”

The stairs creaked and both men looked up them.

“Oh hey Bradley!” Sarah greeted, voice a little raw. “Hey Sarah.” She looked at his red face, “Everything okay?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” She nodded at him, not super convinced, “Okay. Um, pizza is getting made, do you think Javy would pick it up on his way?” Jake nodded, “Yeah I’ll text him.”

Jake went back to the kitchen and sent Javy a quick text before finishing the wipe down of the counter.

When 6 rolled around everyone had gotten there and the game started.

Jake had Sarah in his lap, her face buried in his shoulder during commercial breaks. By the end of the game, both had fallen asleep.

*******

A few weeks later, just before Christmas break, Sarah started feeling off.

She was tired, felt sick in the morning, and was getting emotional over everything. She thought it was her period but when she checked, she had missed it for December.

During her lunch she went and got a few tests, taking them just before coaching an away basketball game.

All three were positive.

Sarah smiled, covering her mouth as happy tears sprang to her eyes. She did a little math and the estimated date she had was the day she wore Jake’s jersey.

She couldn’t help but laugh a little bit.

“Woo-pig.”

********************

i hope you guys enjoyed this little piece!

this is just a filler piece that will be in a separate section of the masterlist. (probably titled: backstory idk though) let me know if you want more backstory/side quest pieces!

i’m hoping to get started on the reunion and get it up soon!

I do have a pinterest board set up for this, just to help me get into the vibe (one is to help with future parts, one is only for the current parts)

SO

if you want to check it out and get more of a feel for the dynamic going on---- you can click right --->   here

if you would liked to be tagged in this series, please comment or reblog the masterlist linked at the top! or you can comment here!

j and s tags <333: @milesdickpic @roosterscockpit @luckyladycreator2 @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @sebsxphia @mayhemmanaged @nobody7102 @djs8991 @marbledaesthetics @genius2050​ @fangirlbang @penguin876​

thank you my lovelies <33

[leonardperreault]

little au life updates

adam x jj

adams really nervous about his impending debut but isn't talking to anyone about it so kj calls jj and is like "fix your boyfriend he's seconds away from a breakdown," so she calls him and they talk for hours about the game and his feelings

jj cant go to the game cause umich plays rutgers tomorrow but she is absolutely making sure she's updated and watches during halftime

she gets him a custom suit with a picture of them in the coat for his birthday and for his debut

gavin x munchkin

munchkin gets in her accident today

she leaves to go drop logan off at school and as shes rushing back to make it to practice

poor girl is running on maybe 4 hours of sleep in the last week because she's been so stretched thin and isn't asking for help

so she gets t-boned and her car flips

steve gets the call 10 minutes before practice is set to start and the team is left waiting on the ice for Brandon, jacob and steve to come on

but when they do it's obvious that steve is crying, jacob looks like he's seen a ghost and naurato has the same look he had when steve was sick last year

and immediately gavin knows something is wrong

because munchkin is never late. and she never ever just doesn't show up to practice without an explanation

[alaffy]

Riverdale, Ep. 7x14 - Archie:  The Musical (spoilers)

Okay, first off, everyone needs to check this out. This is the epitome of it's so bad it's good. And, to be honest, I won't be doing much of a recap, because I don't think I can. And, I'm not going to lie, that last song did choke me up a bit. Even though my joy at watching this show has lessened over the season, I still loved it at one point. And it is kind of sad that these characters are about to go away.

So, this is just going to be really brief. Kevin has been told that he can write a original musical for the school performance. Jughead, Reggie, and Fangs check out almost immediately. But it's this thing were, as the songs are sung, characters realize more about themselves.

Toni and Cheryl sing this love song, but when they find out that it won't be in the musical, they decide not to take part because they don't want to hide anymore.

Archie (and my God is KJ great in this episode) realizes that he doesn't know what he wants in life. And, no, it's not a choice between Betty and Veronica. He wants to decide between basketball and poetry. He leaves the musical and swears off kissing anyone for awhile. Then, he tells Frank he's not going to play basketball anymore as he wants to work on his poetry. Frank says Archie will regret this (no, I'm sure that will be us).

Betty and Veronica hate the fact that their role is reduced to wanting Archie. Veronica has Cole Porter write a song about them (seriously, won't use Castro's name; but will drag Porter through the mud). Veronica admits that she kissed Archie to Betty, which leads to them realizing that what they have right now is more important than Archie. Then they sing the song and have a moment. They wonder what this means...at which point Archie literally bursts in to tell them he won't be kissing anyone for awhile; basically, clearing their way to pound town. Look I really don't think it will happen, but honestly if the show ended with them together I could live with this.

Meanwhile, Kevin parents are apparently fighting (oh, yeah, Kevin's mom finally makes an appearance) and then he learns they're getting a divorce just as he finds out his musical won't be used. Kevin takes it out on the cast, snapping about their criticisms. I kind of feel like this was addressed to the audience. And let me take a moment to be honest here. Are there times that some fans have taking their criticisms too far? Absolutely. And normally I support the writers, because I do believe that there are people that don't understand the difference between criticism and being an asshole. But some of the comments or behaviors I've seen from some of the writers, like I don't think they really thought about the fact that they are adults who may be addressing a younger audience. Look, all I'm saying is that maybe some people need to consider their behavior on both sides. But I digress.

Anyway, that's really it for this episode.

[crossbackpoke-check]

15 questions + 15 friends (tagged by my beloveds @whitenikes & @acheronist 🥰💕 thank you thank you!!)

1. Are you named after anyone?

technically yes… i’m named after a character in a book but my mom has never been able to remember what book 🫡

2. When was the last time you cried?

i don’t usually log frequent crier miles but i definitely cried in december (??) watching the music video for “amelia” for a variety of reasons

3. Do you have kids?

nope! i do refer to my students as my kids sometimes on accident and have freaked out more than one person by saying “my kids” lmao

4. What sports do you play/have played?

currently i play rugby, although i grew up playing a lot of sports—i did volleyball, basketball, track, and danced competitively (which is probably the sport i miss the most)

5. Do you use sarcasm?

me? using sarcasm? never :) here i usually don’t because it doesn’t come across the same over text and irl it’s usually just with people i’m comfortable with and know will get it

6. What is the first thing you notice about someone?

oooo outfit maybe? voice? context dependent for sure

7. What’s your eye color?

legally, hazel. illegally, whatever color the nearest person to me says that they are at the time

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings :)

9. Any talents?

(insert the quinn hughes 😬 on the bench reaction meme please i’m trying ok!!)

i can bake pretty decently! athletic if that’s a talent? i would love to learn how to do more artsy things (got a crochet kit & paint with watercolor sometimes)

10. Where were you born?

michigan 🧤<- not a mitten but i’d show you where i’m from on it if i could

11. What are your hobbies?

reading, although i never have as much time to read as i want to (send me book recs please)… i count sports as a hobby and i just got a really pretty new puzzle! also, obviously, hockey.

12. Do you have any pets?

yes!!! i have a canary and a society finch (orville and duncan), a hypo corn snake (apollo! he has hearts on his head!), and two cats (john watson and effie). in the future i’d love to have a dog again, since i just lost him this past summer

13. How tall are you?

moritz seider (5’3”)

14. Favorite subject in school?

real hot girls speak german 💅 it’s either that or biology but i feel like that’s little bit of a cop out

15. Dream job?

re: the cop out above, dream job is working as a veterinarian for a zoo! so it makes sense i love biology lol

tagging @songsandswords @kj-op @hiding-from-reality-56 @catboy-mahura and anyone else who’d like to and hasn’t done it already!!

[bronanlynch]

once again here is my weekly roundup post of what I'm watching/reading/etc. once again none of this is necessarily a recommendation, except the bits where I talk about my own fic. obviously everyone should read my fic

listening (podcast): nothing new here. continuing with the Wing episodes of Great Gundam Project, which continue to make me want to watch Gundam at all times. also keeping up with Palisade (Friends at the Table), my beloved, I love it when an actual play podcast episode is an extended discussion on spycraft and the changing political landscape, and also watching someone else flip a coin

also, I've listened to less A More Civilized Age recently because I'm less interested in KOTOR now that they're covering that, but I did listen to their episode on the imminently-closing Disney World Starcruiser attraction which. oof. great podcast episode, unsurprising that the ~experience was uhhhhh not worth how many thousands of dollars it costs

listening (music): changed the CD in my car to One-X by Three Days Grace. sorry for almost exclusively listening to music that was used for AMVs in the 2000s.

however! for once I listened to new music, the new Troye Sivan single, Got Me Started. nothing particularly smart to say here, it's fun and catchy and makes me wish it was 2018 and I was back in grad school having a single overpriced drink in a gay bar and failing to psych myself up enough to flirt with anyone

reading: still working my way through Rule of Wolves (truly would be more interesting if Leigh Bardugo did not always shy away from the political marriages that she teases at, at least then the political intrigue would have to actually happen on the page) and Water Outlaws (shout out to my new favorite side character, the nonbinary strategist who wants to overthrow the government).

also read the newest KJ Charles novel, A Nobleman's Guide to Seducing a Scoundrel. I always have a lot of fun with her stuff, she understands that life-threatening stakes and also secrets & betrayal are what I personally want in a romance. this one had some very fun intrigue around inheritance & legal loopholes, and also plot-important discussions of religion in Roman Britain. my main complaint isn't even a critique of the book itself, it's just that I as a person have slightly different priorities and I wish one of the main characters had been allowed to stay angry and maybe be more destructive about it. like I'm glad he's happy now that he's had his character development, and I do think it was well done. however. I would've found it personally cathartic if he got to do a few more crimes first

also also, this incredibly scathing academic book review (Was There an Administrative Revolution?, George Zhijian Qiao). it's a delight. I've seen some harsh rebuttals but nothing nearly as much of a masterpiece as this

watching: continuing to watch Elementary, which has its pros (competently-written mystery stories with fun characters) and its cons (can't tell if the copaganda has gotten more blatant this season or if it's just been building up and I'm getting tired of it)

also continuing my long slow journey of watching Legend of the Galactic Heroes. what a show. love an incredibly homoerotic military sci-fi anime about the narrative construction of history. season 3 has been kind of up and down for me, though, I must say. I love the parts about Reinhard being desperate to die in battle against a "worthy opponent," I love Reuental getting accused of treason presumably to foreshadow him actually doing treason at some point, I love Kircheis haunting the narrative, I love the vastly different tone whenever we see Yang being self-aware about history and his friends getting up to shenanigans. however. whenever the Earth Cult is the central focus I'm reminded how much I don't like that plotline. like. Idk. I'm not an expert but I know more well-informed people than me have talked/written about the prevalence of antisemitic conspiracy theory tropes in anime from this era and uh. that sure is present here and I don't care for it

the other thing I watched this week is 1985 horror film Re-Animator. my first note is "oh he's such a little freak I love him" (about the titular guy who reanimates the dead) and that really sums it up I think. is it a good movie? I mean. probably not. but I could write an entire thesis on the themes of procreation vs necromancy and how that subtextually makes the central conflict of the film a love triangle, and sometimes that's what really matters

playing: ran a session of Blades in the Dark while partially out-of-it from the flu shot/covid booster combo. this was the third session of a single score, and by the end of it everyone only had one (1) remaining stress box but somehow no one trauma-ed out while escaping the ancient winged robot/ghost lady whose gambling hall they were robbing (they stole her reality-bending dice that she made out of her own bones)

I've been enjoying Ace Attorney 5 more this week, the second half of 5-3 and the beginning of 5-4 have been a lot of fun. it really is a shame that Robin's gender is handled Like That because otherwise 5-3 would be such a good case. I'm not far enough into 5-4 to say much about it other than that I like it so far but truly my main observation is, if two astronauts were on the launch pad, and one of them killed the other with a knife, would that be fucked up or what?

making: made butternut squash pasta sauce with the rest of the squash left over from last week's muffins. we used this recipe, largely because it involved roasting the squash in the oven instead of standing over a stove waiting for liquid to reduce (substituted oat milk for the half-and-half, it turned out fine and just didn't needed the added pasta water)

here it's on mushroom ravioli, but we also added it to baked mac & cheese to add some more vegetable to that

drinking: sorry that all of this is so aggressively seasonal, unfortunately I love a lot of ~fall flavors~. anyway. shout out to Citizen Cider's Baker's Dozen (cider donut flavored cider). it's not as sweet as other cider donut ciders I've had, since Citizen's stuff tends to be fairly dry, but it still has the cinnamon flavor and it's very tasty

writing: mostly I've been editing the same t4t yurivain fic I've been working on for months, but I'm running out of shareable snippets of that and really I need to just post the damn thing. and I've also written a little bit more of a self-indulgent vibes- & motif-heavy Great Ace Attorney fic so uh. here's this:

They’d been at sea without stopping for a while now, but land was drawing into view once again, if he looked west where the sky was still dark. Maybe his friends, the friends he must’ve had once, were still out there, beyond the sea. Maybe they were looking for him. Maybe they were waiting for him in London. Maybe that was why he needed to go there so badly. Or maybe they were all gone, and he, left behind alone, had business to finish on their behalf before he could rejoin them. The sea slapped against the hull of the ship, and there was the frayed edge of a memory there too, a familiarity with ships, with the sounds that the sea could make, that went back farther than his few months’ employment as a dock worker and a deckhand.

[livvyofthelake]

the thing of it is that nicholas galitzine is not necessarily Good at playing gay, because well at the end of it all you can tell he does it for attention. which i think is a feminist win but that’s neither here nor there. i mean that he has the like, vibe of a man who believes so deeply within his soul that he’s heterosexual so he thinks playing gay is fun because it’s Acting in a way that playing straight is not. bear with me, you’re about to get a glimpse of 2021 beth. and by that i mean i’m about to bring up pete davidson. actually maybe most of you should stop reading his post right now or possibly two sentences ago. anyway. what i mean to say is that he’s like if pete davidson was like. talented. if pete davidson could act and sing he’d be doing everything nicholas galitzine is doing, but he can’t so he’s doing mid comedy and like so much weed. god bless america. basically pete davidson is so deep in method acting as a straight man he doesn’t even know he’s performing. i don’t mean to suggest that he’s secretly gay i’m just saying if you analyze his behavior you can like. see within him where the staten island ideal of heteronormative masculinity took root inside his soul. you know. basically you can tell that his whole life is a performance and he thinks he’s winning but he’s not because he will never be happy until he can deconstruct the roles gender and sexuality have played in his endless quest to find acceptance. he needs a lesbian friend so bad and GOD i wish that were me. i had a point. hold on. so like. i don’t know shit about nicholas galitzine as a person but i’ve been looking at the man on various screens for months and there is something about the way he moves and the way he says certain things, especially while he’s playing gay, that gives pete davidson to me. so i’ve taken that similarity and extrapolated from it that he almost definitely has similar issues. i don’t think a lesbian friend would fix him though i think whatever his deal is is unfixable and we should probably put him down in a few years before he does anything crazy like date a kardashian or star in a biopic or something idk. my point was basically going to be that i think. actually i forgot my point. oh yeah i think he loves playing gay for attention but he’s not super good at it because he still has the last sliver of internalized homophobia you can’t knock out of a man until he tries gay sex or talks to a lesbian once or has a daughter who’s in middle school. it’s complicated. don’t argue with me about his ability to play gay i think i know more about the subject than you ok i watched the craft legacy i was there. ok i was half there i don’t truly remember that movie. but i remember the vibe ok i was there. basically. WHAT was i talking about. i love stream of consciousness posting i’ve been writing this post for like 20 minutes probably. basically it’s crazytown that this movie is being sold as a gay romcom but they don’t even make out sloppy it’s like what’s the point if we aren’t getting a little nasty. a little freaky. casey wouldn’t approve of this. ok well. casey did approve of this i’m pretty sure they’re a producer but they didn’t write the movie and i believe in my soul that if they had been more involved in this process there would have been freak shit happening. i’m reading this book ok i know henry is slipping alex so much tongue and it was NOT translated onscreen!! and i’ve chosen to blame that british man and also matthew because he has ras syndrome. which is when you’re gay and in charge of a movie or show and you’re fucking obsessed with the hot straight man who’s playing your gay little character that you like so bad. ras is not the first to do it but he is by far one of the worst offenders i’ve ever seen like goddamn can we free kj apa from his clutches. i forgot the point again. basically. i think if nicholas took a break from playing gay in movies and tried gay sex he would become better at playing gay in movies. or he would stop entirely. idk

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Doria was introducing Kim &amp; Kris to others as her dear close friends by u/AM_Rike

Doria was introducing Kim & Kris to others as her dear close friends Read/Watch this video with a bucket nearby. The massively plastic surgeried up lawyer, Gina Zapanta, who was a sponsor of this gala & who invited Doria, also invited a middling level influencer buddy from Louisiana, Jenn Palpallatoc to this fundraising event. Jenn gives a lengthy and excessively gushing account of the invitation, the gala and the weekend, noting the party was held at Henry Winkler’s house, and it was Doria who introduced Jenn to Doria’s dear, close friends Kris and Kim, which was Jenn’s dream come true. That is how Jenn says Doria was introducing them. The evening later included some Harkle favorites of hanging at the Beverly Hills Hotel/Polo Club and going to In-N-Out (where they‘ve memorized Harry’s animal-style order since he eats there so frequently). It’s excessive fan-girling, but it’s note-worthy that KJ & KK are allowing Doria to play gatekeeper to them and are fine with her introducing them as her dear close friends. For those who haven’t read Bower’s book, Doria spent much of her adult life sitting on her stoop in a house coat (pajamas) smoking weed (which was illegal) all day long. She is Hot Pocket trash along levels you can’t imagine unless you grew up in a trailer park. Doria being a gatekeeper for Ricky & Julien at Sunnyvale seems infinitely more believable. And yet, this happened, according to the fawning Jenn. Maybe Meghan really is spending her days filming competitions with the Kardashian girls to see whose va-jay-jay smells the best, since that is the quality entertainment level we are talking about here. If the proper UK authorities don’t strip the titles after hearing about this, they deserve to have this kind of Kardashian trash mongering grafted into their royal lineage. Does MI-6 even exist? *** Update: when I tried to paste the link to this video, which I literally just watched right before drafting this post, it is now gone. That means Jenn took it down. It seemed innocuous enough as it was Jenn putting on her makeup while recounting her dreamy LA weekend trip. The video was longish and had cutaways to both still photos and video clips along with captions, so Jenn put some time and effort into this project. She also gushed about Bezos & Lauren Sanchez and explained how Fonzy’s daughter had cofounded this charity and how she missed Gina’s birthday the week before, blah, blah, so it was newsy. But she spent most of the time on how Meghan Markle’s lovely, down to earth mom Doria introduced her to her idols so she could get her pics with them. I have to wonder if it was Meg’s people who asked Jenn to remove the video? And if so, why? It’s removed from her main IG page and the IG video page. Did anyone else watch this before it vanished? Any thoughts on why this was made to disappear? It was pretty long and detailed for an IG vid. Here’s some of Jenn’s pics from the night: https://ift.tt/ogJtjzT Gina Z likes to do her vids while doing skin care as well. How could any professional take this woman seriously as a lawyer? https://ift.tt/3trW0L2 post link: https://ift.tt/UFnjkrS author: AM_Rike submitted: August 29, 2023 at 05:08AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit

[coffeecupandcorgi]

on repeat

i'm not great at doing tag games ahhh, but @dirigibleplumbing tagged me, so i'll give this a go -

Rules: shuffle yr "on repeat" playlist from spotify or etc. and post the first 10 tracks.

Manilla Road, "Necropolis" - the Seek & Destroy DJ Tanner must really dig this one because I've head him play it a few times now. K says the vocals sound like a sports announcer calling the Kentucky Derby lolol BUT i think they're cool. i mean, c'mon, they're absolutely giving severian in nessus in gene wolfe's shadow of the torturer-

Entombed in time without decay Never thought it would be like this It feels like I'm living inside a dream But my mind tells me I'm Lost in Necropolis, lost in Necropolis

-but also giving that couple making out in the pit of skulls, lost in an endless cemetery going slowly insane in the iron rose (1973)?? plus this album is from '83 & i feel like eddie munson definitely liked it.

2. Dio, "Holy Diver" - yeah, classic, guess this one is pretty self-explanatory... I did just read what's currently my all time fav ST fic, this time loop fic star of the masquerade by glorious_spoon, and eddie's fav track there is holy diver.

3. Steely & Clevie, Righteous Flames, "I Was Born To Be Loved" - idk I just freaking love this dancehall track from 92, heard it on the radio a while back and put it on my 'seattle wip' playlist, which I was listening to while noodling around with a post-u mich kj/owen story that alas has not materialized beyond a set up and a few scenes. it's always gonna be a kj and owen mood for me. :')

4. Kate Bush, "Running Up That Hill" - for a while in college @dirigibleplumbing played "wuthering heights" like everyday BUT somehow i never heard/took in "running up that hill" until i started watching Pose last year - when it plays at the end of the pilot !!! while that man is picking up angel !!! I just !!!! stay away from her, get a job !!!! anyway, also, max gender, is there a more gender-y song?

5. Afsky, "Tyende Sang" - more metal. first track i heard on Seek & Destroy that gave me a fanfiction oh. moment. like, we are no longer just doing fic research, we go here now.

6. HAAi, "Baby, We're Ascending" - this song is fine/fun, i threw it on a recent playlist so i'm hearing it a lot, but i loved loved loved HAAi's recent Resident Advisor mix & listened to it a bunch. tried to put it on during a philly wedding afterparty last spring but then it was TOO LOUD and we had to leave to the hotel. :(

7. Built to Spill, "Car" - I think this is my favorite track from their early 90s album There's Nothing Wrong With Love, an all time album which i also loved as a teen. good to sing along to.

I want specifics on the general idea I want to think what I should know Want you to do me what you show

gotta just absolutely belt it out. those lyrics are all caps in my head.

8. Sevana, "Lowe Mi" - this has been playing all the time on KEXP's saturday morning reggae show. it's super catchy.

9. Leonard Cohen, "The Partisan" - as previously discussed i love a good time loop story - it's maybe one of my favorite tropes?? the melancholy and bittersweet yearning can be so exquisite, it fully KOs me - anyway, this track is used so well in Palm Springs, under that slow-mo close up on Sarah while Nyles realizes he is big time in love and needs to get his shit together -

10. Florence + The Machine, "Morning Elvis" - this is my Grey's end of season 2 song for Izzy and Denny :((((( I guess 'cause "we are trying to make it through the devastation" vibes + Denny is from Memphis.

idk idk @katiewont, @rostovs, @zombiesassy, if u wanna-

[petalsmooth]

I’ve more or less moved on from Riverdale. 

I am ONLY interested in Jabitha of which we have NO content right now. 

RAS being out a show to screw up.

Cole being released from this toxic show/cast.

I have spent last few months re-watching old favorites or reading old favorites. I’ve been re-discovering what it is to watch and read things I ENJOY and it has just cemented how little I enjoy most of Riverdale. Aforementioned exception of Jabitha. Who do make me smile.

I only want to watch or read stories that entertain me or make me happy. I like escapist entertainment. Riverdale isn’t escapist entertainment. It’s a flailing show with no rhyme or purpose servicing too many ego’s. It allows personal ambitions, relationships and biases to affect it’s direction rather than the audience’s enjoyment of the show or letting the characters move in realistic manner for THEM. It inspires no trust in it’s audience. There is no logical path to follow to ascertain it’s endgame. They literally just fling everything up in the air and see where it scatters.

There is just so much history with Star Trek and the next generation cast. I’m currently watching, remembering and kind of loving how a man who once lectured Spock and Kirk about Cowboy diplomacy and duty being considered the paragon of new Star Fleet is now the one being lectured by a hard nosed unimaginative captain about their crashing of ships and defying of star fleet edicts. Only took a lifetime for Picard to realize what Kirk knew in his 30′s. lol

I love the repore with Stewart and Frakes’. I love Beverly FINALLY being back in this universe. I love the implications of what Beverly having another son may mean. I’m invested in these characters because of the actors themselves and the history that is not uprooted and erased just because an actor throws a fit. TBH, in the Star Trek universe Voyager is probably closer to comparison to RD in how BTS drama could spoil a show. Which makes it interesting they pulled Jeri Ryan’s character into this universe, this cast would have been a far more welcoming one that the one she initially came to fame on.

And so maybe currently enjoying TWO casts, Bridgerton and TNG, that seem to be on fairly good terms make RD in less tolerable. I simply don’t care about KJ, Lili or Camilla’s whining or ambitions. I find it short sighted and shallow. Acting can be hard work It’s not say...construction work but you do delve into emotions and end of the day that can produce a different level of fatigue. I get it. But it’s still supposed to be fun. You are getting paid to play make believe. they are whining about getting to play dress up each day and do what they did at 6 year’s old. They are somehow completely unaware of how that sounds to people who don’t have that job. There were a handful of people at my work told they had cancer this week. My job isn’t make believe. It’s why I like escapist entertainment. So I have a hard time understanding why I should be engrossed in KJ’s tale of over indulgence and privilege and how he didn’t appreciate it enough while at same time still wanting to shout how he wants more opportunity. You were given an opportunity, abused it, were unprofessional and now that the gravy train ends want someone to stick out their neck for you again? Ok KJ. Good luck with that.

Ambitions are fine, goals are fine. Nothing inherently evil in having them but the one young cast member who WAS professional and appreciated he is in a privileged position they have endlessly mocked for it over the year’s. So really...I could care less about their belated scrambling attempts to run to the media to rehab their professional reputations to appear employable now. 

The entertainment business is a hard one to maintain a career in. IMO the ones who appreciate their positions are the ones who deserve to still be employed 30 year’s later as the TNG now is. Or deserve break out cameos and roles in new films as Bridgerton cast is being offered. I really don’t think most of the RD cast deserves any further opportunities given the only awakening they seem to have is the paychecks are soon to end. I’ve yet to see them truly realize how terribly they have responded to fame beyond an oligatory soundbite for the masses.

[tartt9]

He's such a fucking idiot. That's all he can think for the rest of the evening. Keeley deserves better than him. And what the fuck is going on with Roy? He's watching Phoebe tonight, and Jamie doesn't want to invade on their night together asking questions about what he and Roy are to each other; he thought they were pretty solidified in what they are, but then again... he's the one that kissed Keeley today. Like a fucking twat. So maybe Roy has the right to question him about what they are. Fuck. Why is this all so confusing? Why can't he just have them both? Is it selfish to want them both? They can snog all they want, too, but... they're so different. It's what he's always liked about the two of them. Keeley and her light hair and her light eyes and her soft hands and her loud fashion. Roy and his dark hair and those brown eyes and his callouses and his leather. It's like he's torn down the middle by desire. Fuck, he'd kill to call them both his. Well, maybe not kill, he doesn't think he's strong enough for that. But definitely something close to it. 

When his phone buzzes, he pauses the game of FIFA he's playing as a distraction, glancing down at the screen. He's surprised to see the text from Keeley, and even more surprised to read it. He curls his legs up on the sofa, chewing on his hoodie string as he responds.

[ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] no no i get it [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] i'm sorry [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] srsly [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] u deserve better n me tbf 😞 [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] 😡🖤⚽'s with pheeb 2nite so i haven't talked 2 him yet [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] but i will [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] bc that was shitty of me [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] n im sorry [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] love u always u kno that [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] i just want u 2 kno tht i 🧠 ur gr8 [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] and that u don't deserve 2 b treated like ur anything less then 💯 [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] 🐶👅 [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] thats me @ u 4eva xxxx [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] even in just a best friends sort of way x [ to: KJ 🩷💖💕 ] ur the best x

she hears his words, but they don't sink in quite enough, they barely break through the sound of blood pounding in her ears, " it's fine, it's my job. " she mumbles, standing with him and gesturing to the door, ever the polite host. even now. even when she's torn between all her feelings, the way she loves roy and loves jamie and had been thinking about the two of them together, loving her, her loving them and .. maybe them loving each other. but. well, she doesn't know what to think anymore. fuck, she was stupid! stupid for kissing jamie, stupid for giving herself hope because while keeley jones was the eternal romantic, she had also become a realist in recent years. she had recognised that people often only pursue her because of the posters of her rack they had growing up, because of the narrative the papers push.. she didn't want to let herself get hurt, she was practising self love as of late and the one time she steps out of that, it just feels shitty.

the door closes behind him and she presses her forehead against the smooth of the wood, eyes closing tight as she fights off tears, fights off feeling sad about this. good for them! good for roy and jamie. there's a sharp pang in her stomach, jealousy and upset all at once, " fuck! " she hisses. she believes jamie does love her, she believes roy might too, especially with how.. he'd been as of late.. but -- well, there was something.. something cheap about not being told something like that. something that twists in her stomach yet again. after a little while, after making a cup of tea and taking some deep breaths the way rebecca taught her to, keeley sits and stares at her phone, already put firmly on do not disturb. she stares at a text she'd written out for jamie for a long moment before swallowing her pride and hitting send.

sorry about earlier, just felt weird.. u know, vibes. idk. happy for u tho! well done for sorting ur shit out :) X