#maybe im just a masochist idk

[homebecomesthehighway]

you know, maybe the shitty shows we watch really were the friends we made along the way

I've been in some of the most toxic fandoms full of little freaks and weirdos, but I still always come back because I love listening to people talk about things they love with all their heart. like, I know the things I'm watching are all "bad" things to like, and I know they're problematic and toxic and full of shitty manipulative people that only wanted my money and attention. but I'm never going to forget how I felt loving those things, and the people that loved those things with me. and I will always remember crying and laughing and feeling boundless joy, and I'll remember the theory posts and fanart and stories and the discourse so much more than the actual media because it is the purest feeling to love things together

[oh-abhy]

no bcs the strange man in rdr is my roman empire.

who is he? what is he?? what does he want from us??? whats his connection to tumbleweed???? why does he have this creepy little hut in bayou nwa????? why bayou nwa of all places?????? is he god??????? is he the devil????????

[dyk3pup]

smth abt the fuckass teases of “what if i just tickle you forever, hm?” OR “aww you want me to stop?? mmm i think im just gonna tickle you forever and ever!” .IS SO FUCKING FLUSTERING for no reason at all.

[a-gay-little-cat]

the game handed me a funny little jester oufit its all i ever wanted

[vagueiish]

i've been told a number of times that mental illness is a dirty, filthy, no good liar. but like..... what if it isn't?

[ambrosialdesire]

OMG i would like to request yandere bertolt x paradis reader.you can pick whatever part of the timeline you want, maybe he managed to survive to take her to marly, or maybe she just tried to escape on marly or paradis, or maybe he just kidnapped her I don't really care

Thank you

desiderate

18+ DARK CONTENT BELOW, MINORS AND BLANK BLOGS DNI

pairing: s4 bertolt x fem!reader word count: 9.5k warnings + tags: general yandere and obsessive themes, unhealthy relationships, some explicit sexual content, s4 bertolt au, implied non-con, violence, kidnapping mention, stalking, forced kissing (kinda dubcon), slight groping, kinda masochistic bertolt, cigarette usage/smoking, blood kink, knife kink, slight voyeurism, male masturbation mention, panty jerking off mention (?), slight body mutilation, scarification implications, all characters are 18+ synopsis: they've brought you here on this foreign land, a land that was once believed to be completely overrun with monsters. you've been living pretty easy with this new life of yours but it's hard to forget about what he's done to your old home. this singular man, capable of complete destruction despite his nervous demeanor. there may be humans here but the true monster still remained, watching your every move until he was ready to strike. a/n: IM NGL IVE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO REQUEST BERTOLT LMFAO i made bro a creep cause i feel like between bertie and reiner, bertie definitely has the tendency to be lurking and stalking behind corners and constantly following you and finding to opportunity to snatch your underwear to jerk off into LOL the reference that i used for s4 bertolt is this fanart that was used in a tiktok edit but i have no idea who made the art and it's making me scream bc it's definitely how i imagine what he looks like (but with thicker chin stubble) and i want to give the right creds (if you look up s4 bertolt/bertholdt fanart on google and see a tiktok image of him smoking, that's what i'm talking about but i want to give actual creds to the artist) also mb on the smoking scenes idk how it feels to smoke but i do sorta know the distinct smell of it this is also in no way connected to the cacoëthes series just to let yall know hehe i hope you enjoy this anon! thank sm for your request!! and sorry for the wait LOL note: please keep in mind of the tags above and do not proceed if triggering or uncomfortable, especially if you are a minor!! do not read my or any other writers' dark content if you are underaged. this is a fictional work and does not reflect irl morals, do not believe this is how a real romance works or functions.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ.───

"Call off your damn hound Reiner, I'm getting sick of his shit."

Pushing past the blond as you entered his home, you made your way to his dining table. You huffed as you sat down, leaning back against the chair as your boot-covered legs kicked up on the wooden table. Reiner rolled his eyes, pushing them back down to the ground with a heavy thud. He crossed his arms, leaning on the wall adjacent from where you sat.

"A hello first would suffice. What's Bertolt getting himself into again?"

"My business!" Exasperated, you threw your hands over your face. "He keeps fucking following me and it's starting to freak me out. You guys know I'm not suspicious anymore, there's no way for me to be able to contact Paradis Island at all."

Saying your old home's name had started to feel foreign on your tongue unfortunately. It's been over four years since you've been whisked away by these two assholes and living here has been nothing but a thorn on your side. You worked under the Warrior Unit, mostly a simple soldier for both Bertolt and Reiner to boss around for basic things. It's nothing different from your time as a scout but it's frustrating working for them instead of with them.

You don't know why they took you away with them instead of breaking out their other accomplice, Annie, but after a handful of screaming, punching, kicking, and biting from you, they managed to drag you off to the boat. You stayed there for an estimated week or so with random strangers coming and going, poking and prodding at you as if you were one of Hange's experiments on Eren and randomly caught Titans.

The two of them finally came back one random night unconscious, battered and beaten to the point where their Titan healing powers couldn't even help them fast enough. You needed them alive — how else were you going to manage escaping this unknown place of theirs — so you helped tend to their wounds, staying at their sides until they were finally awake.

Once they were conscious enough, you punched Reiner square on the nose, spinning around to smash your knuckles right into Bertolt's cheek. Your hand was throbbing in pain but the burning fury you felt was stronger. By the time they woke up, the boat already was leaving the docks, and now you were most likely already miles away from home.

"You fucking assholes."

Blood was dripping down his nose, while a cut just barely formed on the bruised skin of the other. It was in vain however. Steam was steadily coming out of the two of them, meaning that the healing was back in working condition.

"FUCK! I didn't even say anything yet!" Reiner scowled as he placed his hands around his nose, snapping it back in place with a nauseating crack.

Bertolt laid there quietly however, lanky fingers brushing against the welt on his face but he was unable to meet your stare. Tears started streaming down your face, your body crumpling to the floor. You were completely hurt, you trusted these two like they were family, especially Bertolt. Was he really who you thought he was? How could they do this to you? To everyone back in Paradis?

"Why? Why me?"

The two of them fell even more silent, Reiner looking up at the ceiling while Bertolt closed his eyes shut as if he was the one that was currently going through it.

"Well say something goddamnit! Why am I here?" You were beyond angry, voice crackling from how loud you were screaming at them. "Tell me!"

Bertolt finally opened his eyes, pale green staring into yours. You couldn't see him. There was only the Colossal Titan looking down at you as if you were nothing but an insignificant speck on the wall. He opened his mouth, uttering remorselessly one phrase that made you even more resentful of their entire beings.

"I'm sorry."

Now you were here after long months of being processed and interviewed over and over by many Marleyan higher-ups, eventually and finally gaining their trust. You knew they still didn't like you but who really gives a shit, they left you alive and that's all you could be grateful for.

Since you directly worked underneath the two Titan shifters, they were able to get you housing and some basic supplies for you to be able to function properly in their society, as well as a good amount of pocket money to buy whatever you needed. You didn't go out of the house for a month though, still horribly and rightfully angry at them. You were also afraid of the idea that you'd get mobbed immediately once you stepped out and killed on sight by the locals.

Bertolt was the one that finally knocked on your door, tired and baggy eyes focused on the peephole. Part of you wanted to keep the door closed and ignore his presence, but he might report you or something stupidly petty. When you opened it up, the faint waft of bitter tobacco invaded your senses, nose wrinkling at the unfamiliar smell.

As you looked up at him, he felt and looked even more like a stranger than a past friend. It's only been a month but it looked like he had gotten broader at the shoulders and taller. He was wearing a beige uniform, a white undershirt and black tie peeking out of the chest of the long, belted trench coat. His black hair was partially pushed back with gel, slightly being more grown out from the last time you saw him. The way he held himself now in Marley was completely different from Paradis, an eerie calmness surrounding his person. He used to hunch into himself when he was a trainee and a soldier, but now his back was rigid and straight, arms hidden neatly behind his back. The posture reminded you of the utmost dedicated soldiers in the Scout Regiment.

"You haven't been going to work." He softly spoke, his head slightly tilting to the side.

"So?"

"Failure to comply means termination. Termination means you'll get kicked out of Marley. Getting kicked out of Marley means death." Alright, straight to the point. Even the way he was speaking sounded different, as if he had suddenly gained a newfound confidence that was only present here in his homeland.

"You guys really thought I was able to function properly in a new continent where everything is different in a few months? Not to mention, I'm still pissed off at the two of you but fine. I'll come in tomorrow. Goodbye." You proceeded to close the door on him but he stopped it with his boot. Groaning under your breath, you tried pushing at the door so he could back off, but it was to no avail.

His hand grabbed the side of the door and heaved it open with little struggle, letting himself in as you toppled back into the ground from the force.

"You haven't been going out at all. When's the last time you bought groceries?" You flinched, avoiding his judging gaze. How did he know?

"Last month." You muttered as you got up from the ground, brushing yourself off.

Bertolt sighed, glancing off to the side. "Okay. I'll wait here for 15 minutes. Go get dressed and get your money, I'll help you navigate the markets."

You didn't want to but food was definitely running low, and you don't know how long the canned meat in your pantry was going to last in your anger-riddled protest. You made your way upstairs, rummaging through the closet and grabbing the cleanest clothes you were able to find and put on within the time limit he gave. Making your way back down, you found him in the exact same spot, his eyes glancing around the living room.

"Alright. Let's go and we're going to make it quick. I don't think I can stomach standing next to you for this long." You bitterly grumbled, moodily pulling the door open. Bertolt followed after, closing the door for you and taking the lead. What sucked even more was how quickly you had to dash after him, his steps being too large for you to have a steady pace next to him. Maybe him being a near giant compared to a normal person — you noticed as the two of you walked through crowds of people — was thanks to the Titan DNA.

Each passerby gave you a look as you walked on through but never spared a second glance, which was good. You knew that you were an unfamiliar being, a foreigner that was never supposed to be here in the first place. The farmer's market was still open, vegetables and fruits neatly lined up in each stall. He did most of the talking, being able to haggle easier due to his status and the blaring armband that wrapped around his upper arm. You didn't like having to be publicly labeled, it felt like you were merely a product rather than a person.

You were focusing on a stall with jars of honey and jams when some person suddenly shoved you aside with their shoulder, body suddenly losing its balance due to the amount of groceries you were holding on one arm. You prepared for the impact of the cobbled ground but never felt it, instead feeling a firm hand snug in-between your curve of your side and another on your shoulder.

"Careful now." You opened your eyes, meeting his in shock once he steadied you back on your feet. Bertolt's face soon turned to a bright red, his hands quickly leaving you, and his gaze glancing away. Perhaps there really is still some semblance of the man you knew in your homeland.

"Th-thanks..." Adjusting the bag stiffly back up your arms, you proceeded forwards without him, leaving him behind at the stall. It became a usual thing eventually, he'd come over every two weeks to make sure you were fine and the two of you would go out buying your necessities for an hour or two. It didn't erase the fact that you still hated them, but at least he was helping you get comfortable in this strange new world.

You finally started going to work as promised, wearing an awkward and stuffy white uniform that made even the tangling straps of the cadet uniform pale in comparison. According to the paper that came with the uniform, you were to report to Reiner and Bertolt in one of the headquarters' rooms. However, the details were so vague that you were completely lost in the beginning, roaming the hallways without a clue where you were heading.

"Soldier. Face me."

You stiffened, turning around and straightening up. The tall man was vaguely familiar, a full blond beard lining his face and round spectacles hiding his eyes. His right hand raised up as if he was saying hello and you quickly returned the gesture, somewhat remembering that it was their version of a salute.

"Name and ranking?"

"Y/N L/N, er... I'm not sure of my ranking sir. I just know I'm assigned to work for the Vice Captain and one of the Warriors?" You shuffled your feet awkwardly and he nodded, gesturing his hand for you to follow him. He started scratching his ear as he walked, as if he was in thought. To you, he really felt familiar but you couldn't quite place where the feeling belonged.

"Ah yes," His eyes glanced at you, the blue color peeking out from behind the glasses. "Now I remember. You're Reiner and Bertolt's human souvenir from the devil island, aren't you?"

Is that what they called you? And how dare he call your home a devil island! A bubble of anger was rising within you, but you didn't want to take it out on the older man that was helping you find your way. He had to be a higher-up based on his demeanor and you'd rather not get in more trouble.

"...Yes sir, I am."

"You were supposed to be here a month ago." You cringed internally but nodded slowly.

"It's my fault sir. I've only been here for a few months and everything is too... new. I hope my absence didn't affect anything." The man simply hummed, stopping at a door with the words 'WARRIORS UNIT' neatly carved into the wood. You pulled the door for him, letting him saunter in before you entered.

"I found your little pet, you two." His hand pressed against the small of your back, pushing you forwards towards a table where the two of them sat. They looked completely exhausted and were partially bandaged up, quietly sparing a glance at you with a short wave.

You settled yourself in-between them, about to thank the man for helping you but he was already stepping away, going outside to light up a cigarette.

"Don't mind Zeke, he's just... eccentric like that. Hope he didn't offend you." Reiner pushed a pile of papers towards you to sort once you turned back to them, saying something about piling them from who sent them; the important files being from the commander and the Marleyan superiors and the unimportant files being from other soldiers. It slowly dawned on you that you became some sort of assistant to them, a glorified secretary for their war schemes.

"It's nothing too difficult, you're lucky to get this kind of work compared to us and the other Eldian soldiers." Bertolt slightly smiled, continuing to read a paper in his hands and you sighed quietly, beginning to sort. Part of you was grateful you didn't have to face war anymore, but the other part didn't want to be treated differently. Maybe the Marleyans thought that you'd defect once you were on the field or kill as many as you can with a weapon in your hands, going out in a blaze of glory. You never held a gun before though and it was most likely that everyone in this military could shoot you down before you could aim it at one person.

An hour or two passed by and you finished up the sorting, neatly tapping them together. It really wasn't a difficult task at all, were they going to make you do something else for today? You quietly waited for any orders, the two focused on their own thing until Reiner suddenly got up.

"I'll go get lunch for us. Y/N, you can relax for now, there's nothing else we need from you today. Good work." He ruffled the top of your head playfully, just like he did before after a training session in the corps. The blond soon left the room, leaving only Bertolt and you alone.

The two of you sat in silence, your hands fiddling with the seams of your uniform. Was sorting the only thing you're going to be doing during your time here? You'd quit within the month if that was the case but if not, maybe in due time you'll save enough money to open up your own shop. You've always wanted to sell clothing back in Paradis, just like your mother and father.

"You look good in the uniform." Bertolt finally mumbled out, the sound of a paper flipping over barely making it audible. You slightly flushed at the comment, diverting your attention to the closest wall in sight.

"Really? I feel like a wet cotton ball, it's so uncomfortable. The scouts uniform is way better." You grumbled, tugging at the cloth around your legs.

He slightly laughed at that, shaking his head. "No way. The scouts uniform was too tight, not to mention the straps were always so difficult to put on."

"Maybe it's cause you're a literal giant compared to everyone there. I just know they had to customize a whole other set for your ass." He snorted and started laughing, dropping the paper in his hand. You couldn't help but let out a few chuckles as well, crossing your arms together. The two of you bantered for a little bit longer and just for a second, it felt like you were right back home in the training corps canteen.

Everything fuzzed out in your hearing and you soon found yourself comparing home to here. The smells were different, not quite fresh as the countryside air and had a more smoky tone with every breath you took. The sights were different, more machinery was seen rather than grassy fields and trees. The people were different, there was no one recognizable to chat with besides your kidnappers. Everything here had entirely evolved and you were being forced to adapt to it. The realization made you feel a drop in your stomach, tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.

"Bertolt."

"Hm?"

"I want to go back home." Your voice was meek, heavy droplets falling down and staining the white fabric beneath you. His body stiffened and he got up from his chair, almost slamming it into the table when he pushed it in.

"This is your home." He responded coldly, a singe of irritation trailing off his words as he left the room, slamming the heavy door shut. You started to sob quietly, tightly holding onto the sides of your sleeved arms.

No it wasn't, and Bertolt knew it too.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

Your work schedule was simple: Monday to Wednesday from 9:30 am to 6 pm, you served the Warrior Unit. Every other day, you could do whatever you wanted and that was that. The pay was pretty good for a livable wage, but nothing special. No task you were given from Reiner or Zeke was too difficult either, it was usually just sending out letters to their superiors or sorting anything they wanted you to sort. To be honest, it felt like they were just tolerating you since the Marley government didn't want to deal with you anymore. It sucked but it's better than being belly-up in the ocean.

You haven't tried to make amends with Bertolt after that day because one, it was his fault so why would you apologize anyways and two, he hasn't been around that often in the office space. Reiner explained to you that there will be days, sometimes weeks or months where some or none of them will be here. Apparently when they came back with the failure to retrieve the Founding Titan, the loss of Annie and her Titan, and the inability to capture Eren's special Titan, some nations came together and declared war on Marley.

"Hopefully it won't be so often that we're going to be gone for long. Wouldn't want to have you sit at home and do nothing." Reiner teased with a slight nudge against your arm before downing his glass of liquor.

"I do nothing even when working. Maybe I'll pick up some new hobbies when you guys are gone, like knitting or cross-stitching."

Maybe you can give the creations to your neighbors since you were just doing it for fun. One of them is an expectant mother and since you had moved in, she had been nothing but kind to you. It would be nice to give something to her in return.

"Alright grandma." You elbowed his side hard, rolling your eyes. He grunted and started rubbing the affected area, grumbling under his breath about your temper.

"Where's Bertolt? Aren't you guys inseparable?" He suddenly cleared his throat, adjusting himself in his seat. Back in the training corps and the short time in the Survey Corps, you've rarely seen the two separated. Wherever Reiner went, Bertolt followed suit.

"Probably caught up in something. He'll be here soon, he never cancels without notice." He waved his hand dismissively and you thought none the wiser, tracing your finger around the rim of your glass before taking a swig.

"Already missing him?" You suddenly choked on the liquor, throat burning at the sensation. No way. No way in hell, you'd ever miss him. He could get swallowed up by another Pure Titan and you wouldn't even bat an eye. You'd laugh instead, basking in the blood that would gush out of his torn corpse.

Before you could even say anything back, a soft voice popped into the conversation. "Missing who?"

The two of you turned and there stood Marley's behemoth, still dressed to the nines in his uniform. Reiner greeted him happily, ignoring the question completely, turning towards the bartender and ordering another scotch for his friend. Bertolt settled right next to you, taking the glass in his hand and drinking up the entire thing in one go, some liquid spilling out of the corner of his lips. He quickly wiped it up with his thumb, his tongue peeking out and licking the remnants away. His cold green eyes glanced down at you suddenly, catching you staring at him.

A flush of heat went through your skin, quickly looking away to stare into your partially-full glass. The drinks kept on coming, the haze of alcohol filling everyone's systems. You were the least intoxicated, slowly taking in the new attitudes and information from your drunk companions. It wasn't much but they became more chatty, opening up about their lives before Paradis.

"I joined because of my mother." Reiner moved his glass towards the bartender, his head leaned up against his arm as he watched the brown liquid fill up his cup.

"Oh yeah?" He nodded, taking a sip from the newly refilled glass before speaking once more.

"She had high hopes that our family would've been whole again. Me, her, and my father. He's, uh—" He cleared his throat, turning his attention towards you. A faint dust of pink rested on his cheeks, a cheeky smile growing. "He's a Marley-blooded man, so y'know... I'm not really supposed to..."

"Exist." You muttered as you finished his sentence and he let out a soft laugh, nodding lightly before downing his drink again.

"Harsh, but more or less, you could say that's it. Compared to me though," The black-haired man closed his eyes, huffing softly. "Bertolt here is more tragic."

Curious but puzzled, you turned your attention towards him, his hand running through his gelled locks and he mumbled something under his breath before taking a shot. You did wonder a bit about how this man turned out to be the worst attacker on Paradis Island's humanity, it felt sickening thinking about a sweet little boy being trained into a horrid monster.

"You know I hate talking about it Reiner." The blond snorted, turning on his chair and leaning back on the bar's counter.

"C'mon. Let her in on your situation, after all—" He stood up, walking over to him and placing his hand over his shoulder, leaning in close to his ear that you almost barely caught what he said.

"You owe her that much."

Reiner made his way to the bathroom, leaving the two of you alone once more together. The thought of trying to decipher what he meant flew past your inebriated mind and so you sat in silence, instead thinking that you might as well make your way home now. It was probably already past midnight, and you were sure that you were waking up late with a massive headache. As you finalized your decision, turning in your stool and towards the door without a goodbye, the thump of glass hitting wood snapped you out of it.

"I was raised only by my dad." Bertolt started and you slowly turned back towards the counter, your full attention on him.

"Don't know what happened to my mom, he never really told me and I was never curious enough to ask. It was just the two of us for as long as I knew but even as a kid that could barely read, I knew that he wasn't... okay." His fists clenched together and you could hear the cracks of his joints from how tightly he was gripping.

"When you're born an Eldian and live in the farthest parts of the internment camps, medicine is hard to get by and treatment is even more difficult to obtain. The minute I became eligible to join, I took the opportunity." You don't know what compelled you in the moment, but you placed a hand on one of his fists. He started relaxing once he realized that you were touching him, still stiff as he reminisced further.

"Did they give him the meds?" Bertolt nodded, taking in a shallow breath.

"A few days right after I inherited the Colossal, they started giving him everything they promised and he was getting better day by day. It wasn't until I left for our mission in Paradis that his condition evolved into something worse." You swallowed nervously, slipping your fingers into his and holding his massive hand gently. His head turned towards you, his eyes soft as he looked into your gaze.

You've never seen or heard him be so vulnerable before, guilt forming in the pit of your stomach. For him, he was fighting a one-sided war against your home, all because he wanted to take care of his dad. Yet in return, he caused the displacement of so many from their families, ripping them apart with a few kicks into the walls.

"When Zeke came on Paradis and we finally met up, I asked him about my dad and he told me that despite all the medicine and treatment that he's been getting, he wasn't getting any better. I had to see him again, no matter if I had failed the original mission or not. I couldn't die on that island without being able to see him again and I just barely made it. Sometimes the way we escaped made me wonder how I even made it out of there. It was only for a few months that I got to spend with him once we came back, but he passed away in his sleep last month."

His hand tightened around yours, though not enough to break it. No wonder he started to look more disheveled and exhausted recently, his whole reason for getting where he is was now gone. You pitied him but that didn't excuse the murders of thousands he did in your homeland. At the same time, it didn't mean that you should bring that major fact up, not when he was currently grieving.

"I'm sorry Bertolt."

"It's alright, you don't have to pity me. I have more to be sorry about towards you and the others. I'll never be able to properly make it up, nothing I'll ever do will be enough to wash away the blood on my hands."

The two of you sat there in silence, a warm hand around one cold hand. You really should leave now, before Reiner comes back and you'll be stuck drinking even more than you wanted to. You attempted to finally slide off the wooden seat, but he clenched your hand gently and tugged you towards him instead. Your eyes fluttered in both confusion and tiredness as you stood in front of his sitting frame. Blinking once, his face appeared right in front of yours. His free hand slid behind and rested against the nape of your neck, feeling thin but calloused fingertips tenderly brush against the skin as he pulled you even closer.

Okay... this was getting a little too weird for your liking. Beginning to open your mouth to verbalize your annoyance and trying to move back, he then took the opportunity to press his lips against yours.

You could taste the alcohol that the three of you had been previously been consuming intertwine with the tobacco's bitterness of the cigarettes he used, a vagueness of something sweet brushing up against your tongue as he tried to coax you into returning the action. His stubble was rough against your skin the more he moved, digging deeper as he pressed further into your mouth.

You had half the mind to bite that damn muscle of his, but the warmth of both the alcohol and him was stupefying, hypnotizing. It felt like you were melting against him, a warmth pooling in your stomach and in-between your thighs. Slowly, you convinced yourself to return the kiss, gravitating into his embrace. It was stupid of you to do considering you hate the guy but hey, who doesn't do stupid shit every now and then? Fuck, you even started wrapping your arms around his neck and shoulders.

There wasn't much people in the bar anyways, either too drunk off their minds to care or simply ignoring the disgusting couple intertwining themselves in the public space. The bartender was off chatting with another patron, most likely used to the sight of a couple making their passion uncomfortably known to others. It's the Colossal Titan user, who on Marley dared tried to say something about it?

The hand that once was holding yours, grabbed at the crook of your back to draw you even more impossibly near him, then sliding down towards the curve of your ass. To your utmost surprise, he clutched and squeezed at the flesh firmly, feeling you up with this sudden confidence that you would never thought of him having before.

"Annie."

Sobriety hit you like a cold bucket of water splashing onto you once you heard her name slip through his swollen lips, taking no time to immediately shove the man right off of you. He just told you his story, that his dad had just died last month, and here he was, kissing and groping you and then suddenly calling out Annie's name. You were breathing hard, eyes wide as saucers as you stared down at him in shock.

"What the fuck? What the fuck!?"

Bertolt's hand reached out to you, as if he was trying to make you lift him back up. You've never felt so nauseated to hear those very words come out of his lips as a valid apology, like it was no big deal.

"I love you."

You ran.

You ran out of the bar, into the blackened sea of night, never once looking back. If you did, you were afraid of what you might see in his eyes or if he was chasing after you. With tears lingering in the corners of your eyes, one single thought remained.

Out of everyone in the squadron, why did it have to be him?

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

For a month and a half the day after what happened, you never saw Bertolt in the office or around the internment zone.

It was probably the first time him and Reiner were ever separated for this long, the blond telling you that it was his own decision to be sent off into the battlefield alone. You wondered if he told him what he did to you after he came back from the bathroom, or excused why he was on the floor and why you were gone. Reiner never said anything about the incident, so it soon faded in the back of your mind into obscurity.

He wasn't your first kiss anyways, some now-dead nobody trainee back in the day was, and the two of you were drunk, stupid shit happens. Part of you also somewhat knew about Bertolt's fondness for the Female Titan user, originally not knowing about how close they were previously, but damn it. For a heated moment to be ruined like that left a sour taste in your mouth, and you couldn't help but hate him even more for it.

"He's back."

"Who?" Reiner's fist came down on the top of your head playfully, catching your attention from the paperwork.

"Y'know who. Better talk to him now before he passes out from exhaustion from the looks of it. Also, because I know you miss him~" He teased and you swatted his fist off of you, watching him as he walked off towards the main room laughing, leaving you with a pit in your stomach. You really didn't want to talk to him, even if a month had passed on by, but legally, he was your superior. Professionalism before personal feelings unfortunately.

You finally got up, walking slowly to the destination before taking in a deep breath and entering the medical unit. Bertolt was near an open window, a lit cigarette lazily nestled in-between his fingers as he stared out of it. He was the only person there and you swore that every time you saw him, he started to look more unrecognizable from his previous cadet days. His hair wasn't slicked back anymore, falling at the front of his eyes; in fact, you thought it might've grown out a little more from the last time you saw him. The Titan marks were still prominent on his face, like he had just transformed not long ago.

Wiping your clammy hands on your puffy uniform, you approached him, pulling up a chair nearby the bed and sitting down stiffly.

"Welcome back sir."

His head turned towards you and you swore that you felt the room grow colder as he gazed into you through the black strands of his messy hair. Maybe you were the only one that noticed, but his eyes were dead, hollow but still held some sharpness in those pale green irises. This was no longer the Bertolt you knew, this was a numbed man that got mentally thrown and torn apart in the arms of the constant war, the constant transforming, and the constant murder of many.

"Hit me."

"E-excuse me?" He must’ve gotten faster because you didn't realize how quickly he grabbed you until he pushed the palm against his healing skin. It was burning to the touch, as if you were right next to a blazing bonfire. Instinctively, you started to try and wiggle out of his grip but he held steady.

"Hit. Me." Bertolt's grip grew stronger around your wrist, fear creeping in through every cell in your body as you watched the surrounding skin pale from how hard he was holding. "That's an order."

You swallowed but nodded quickly in agreement, just so he can let go of you before any bones shatter. He immediately released you straight away, the action as fast as he previously took ahold of you and took a hit of the nearly burnt out stick. You had to hype yourself up for it, thinking back on every rotten memory you’ve had with him, balling up your fist and striking him as hard as possible where he originally placed your hand. The force made his head swing the other way, the cigarette butt dropping on the ground as your knuckles throbbed in agony. It was like directly punching a stony wall, not like the previous time you punched him on the boat to Marley.

You let go of the breath you didn’t even know you were holding, straightening back up as you held onto your wounded hand. "And how do you feel, Bertolt?"

Bertolt’s body didn’t move, but his hand began to slowly trailing up to the injury, pressing his fingers against the forming bruise. You flinched as he pushed his hair back to where you could finally see his eyes, exhaling the smoke that he previously took in through his nostrils. He glanced over in your direction and let out a soft chuckle, although you noticed that it didn't quite reach those dull eyes of his. There was one thought that lingered in your mind as you stared back into his gaze, that he must've gone crazy fighting in the frontlines.

"Good hit, make me bleed next time." ...What? "Though, I'm surprised that you decided to visit after... what we did the last time we saw each other."

Recovering quickly from trying to process what he just said at first, you cleared your throat, crossing your arms. "The Vice Captain requested me to visit his right hand man, who am I to refuse his wishes?"

He simply hummed in response, reaching for another cigarette in his pocket and his lighter. Placing the unlit stick at the side of his mouth, his eyes caught yours once more, a slight smirk forming. "When'd you start talking like the soldiers? You forget the years we've spent together already since I've been gone, or did you finally get in trouble for treating us like equals?"

You scoffed, pulling your lips in a thin line. "You're the one that gave me an order earlier, and I've had a recent revelation that I had to start acting like a subordinate rather your friend or buddy or whatever the fuck we are, so yeah, I guess it's the latter."

"Ahh, better watch your language then or I'll have to report you for profanity against a superior." Bertolt was of course joking, the mocking tone intertwining with his words. As you felt your eyebrow twitch in annoyance, the sound of lighter clicked and ignited, your eyes watching him pull the flame near.

"Y'know..." He started as he took in a drag, leaning his head back towards the ceiling and soon exhaling the smoke out slowly. "I've been thinking about you the entire time I was gone."

A heaviness plopped itself back on your shoulders, and you wanted nothing more but to excuse yourself out of his premises. You were about to say something to leave him alone, but he kept on talking, droning on and on about how he was counting down the days when he could finally see your face again. Bertolt mentioned that you were the only reason he kept on fighting, why he kept on killing so his commanders could see that he was doing such a swell job as their loyal Titan holder and let him leave early. What a horrible ideology, most of those people could've been innocents.

"And another thing, I kept thinking back on the kiss we shared that month ago." All the color drained from your face, turning and taking a step back to try and run, but felt his hand grasp onto the fabric right against your back. His voice had the same disdainfulness as before, a demandingness that you didn't even know he had in himself to project.

"Don't leave and turn back around. That is an order."

You grit your teeth, finally turning back around once he let go of your uniform and find him standing, his tall stature hovering over you. Nervousness crawled up your spine, flinching once you felt his cold fingers reach over to caress your jaw, tilting your head up to look at him. His eyes scanned your face, inspecting your features quietly before taking another drag of his cigarette. He then neared your face and press his lips against yours.

Recoiling at the abrupt kiss, you tried to push him away but the grip on your face was painfully tight, almost akin to the hold on your wrist earlier. You could do nothing but endure this assault, a slight whimper slipping out as the soreness of your face grew.

Bertolt's tongue brushed against your lips, trying to coax you into opening them. You might as well obey, just to get this over with and the fact that you were running out of oxygen at an alarming rate. Once you did, he pushed the smoke in your mouth as he deepened the kiss, the burn in your lungs and in your throat getting worse. In a panic, you bit down as hard as possible to free yourself, the taste of iron combining with the bitter nicotine. You quickly doubled over and started coughing, watching in tears as vague smoke came out of your mouth with every heave and breath.

"Ah." You peered up at Bertolt from within your teary vision, the tips of his fingers on his lips and pressing against the wound you inflicted. It was deep from what you're able to see, but already started to heal itself. Yet, that's not what at all made you run out the room in distress, almost vomiting into the bushes once you stepped foot out of the building.

You watched in mortified horror as he smeared the crimson around his lips and chin, a seemingly euphoric and satisfied expression reflecting on those pale green eyes of his. He looked down at your frozen form, crouching down and reaching over to your face with his bloodied fingers. A small whimper slipped out as he smeared the substance on your mouth, a hungry grin forming.

"Isn't this a beautiful sight? My blood on your lips, I wonder if I can make you bleed for me soon." It felt like he wasn't supposed to say it aloud, but maybe he wanted you to hear, to have a taste of what his true self was like. That thought alone made you run out, leaving him on the ground once again.

This time, you had to make sure you'd never see the sick fuck ever again.

‘•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’'•.¸♡ ♡¸.•’

And this brings you back to the beginning, in Reiner's home completely agitated and frightened for your life.

The past few months, Bertolt resumed his normal duties along Reiner and you; although you limited your interactions with one another, you can’t help but notice that he was following you everywhere. Not just at work, but the times where you were on your breaks, going out to eat, shopping for groceries or clothes, even in your own home; you saw him. You barely caught him sometimes, he'd disappear in a blink once you tried to get in a second glance to confirm who you saw.

He lingered behind corners, staring at you with such a frightening glimmer in those dull eyes of his. He was usually expressionless as he stared into your very soul, not a single crooked smile or the usual slight upwards curve of his eyes. Nothing, absolutely nothing. And the strangest part was that he never said a word, just... stared. Sometimes he just stood there right in the public's view, crowds of people passing besides him without a single glance towards the weirdo in their way.

There was nothing you could do about it, he wasn't technically bothering anyone and due to the internment zone being rather small, they already knew that he was associated with you. How unfair it was. You wished you could live like them, ignorant and dismissive of the monster that stood right next to them.

Him being right outside of your window was your final straw, the lamplight just barely highlighting his features as he stood in your backyard. You screamed and backed up into your dining room table once you realized that he was right against your window, pressing his hand against the glass as his breath began to fog it up. His eyes were crazed, the first time you ever saw anything in them after weeks of ignoring him. You flung the drapes over the window — as if it could do anything to protect you — before running upstairs and hiding in your closet for the rest of the night.

If he was able to sneak up on you, to be that close without you noticing… what else has he done?

"He's being a fucking creep, Reiner. If it's not him trying to figure out that I'm some kind of double-crosser, it's him being some kind of perverted stalker." He snorted at your remark and you could tell that he was not entirely convinced. You took in a shaky breath, finally putting down your foot.

"Then I would like to request that I leave the Warriors unit and work somewhere else. I don't care where and if I have to move, all I want is to never see Bertolt ever again." Reiner's expression suddenly hardened and he pushed himself off the wall, leaning on the table opposite of you. You've never seen him quite as serious until now, unease filling your stomach.

"You do realize that we cannot protect you once you leave the unit, right? The only reason you're alive still is because of us, Y/N. Anywhere else in the other units, the generals and commanders will watch you like hawks for any mistake you make, minor or not. They would use any excuse to have your head." His hand rested on your shoulder and squeezed it firmly, checking his surroundings before leaning close into your ear.

"Look. I know about Bertolt's strange behavior, trust me, I've already noticed he's been off ever since he came back from that recent excursion. I don't know if I can convince him to stop doing this to you, but I mean it when I say that you're better off staying in our unit." He then leaned back and lightly smiled for more reassurance; a part of you felt that it was the scout in him that was talking and that made you feel a little better.

"We're all you got in this world and your best chance for living. C'mon, just give him one more shot." This wouldn't be happening in the first place if you left me back in Paradis, you thought bitterly but hesitantly nodded your head.

"Okay, fine. But you better get it in his head that I don’t want him stalking me anymore or I’ll report him to General Magath and leave the unit, no matter what the consequences are." You got up and headed towards the exit, turning your head to see him slowly push in your seat. He noticed that you didn't leave yet and lifted his hand up, almost waving goodbye.

"No promises," Reiner held up his pinky, slightly wiggling it. "But I'll do my best."

You scoffed, but smiled regardless.

"Then whatever happens, it'll be on you."

The next day continued on as usual, something normal for once as both Reiner and Bertolt weren't in today. You thought that they must've gotten deployed to another war since you hadn't seen any of the other Warriors either, but you continued work as usual for your shift. Even if you weren't required to, you might as well lighten the load for you the next time around.

By the time you were done with half of the stack, you finally called it quits, seeing that the sun had began to slowly set behind the towering buildings right outside of the windows. Clocking out, you slung your satchel over your shoulder and pushed past the doors, quietly walking back to your home. Now that you started to think further during your trek, it's strange that you didn't get any notification from Reiner about their sudden leave. He'd always gave you some kind of heads-up even if you didn't ask, either through a note or in person.

Was this something so serious that not even you can know about? That would make more sense, you're technically just an underling to them, you didn't need to know more confidential information from the Marleyans as a Paradisian; not like you wanted it or had any use for it anyways. The orange glow of the sun began to fade, the sky slowly turning darker by the minute as lamplights started to flicker on right on cue.

You were so close to home that you started to pick up the pace, a feeling of anticipation running through you. It's not like you felt scared, no. This was the first time in days that you finally felt like you didn't have to look over your shoulder, the first time in months where you didn't feel like you were being watched.

In a matter of minutes, you finally reached the front door of your home. You rummaged through your bag for the keys, taking your time as you pushed through the unfortunately crowded mess. There was no need to rush anymore, not until they come back, and hopefully Reiner was able to talk Bertolt out of his abhorrent, unprofessional behavior. Letting out a happy hum as you finally found what you were looking for, you pushed in the key and turned it open, only to be greeted with a gut feeling that caused goosebumps to immediately form on your skin.

Something was wrong. Despite everything being in their right and respective places, there was something... off. Standing still at the entrance way, you scanned the environment slowly, a lump forming in your throat as they darted to-and-fro nervously. The windows were locked, you knew they were, and none of the drapes seemed to be moved or altered from their original places. There was only one entrance and to get to the backyard, you would have to take the side fence door at the outside of the resident. You almost were tempted to back out of your own house, the one place where you've considered as the safest haven from the outside. This feeling, it had to just be that you were unused to being finally left alone... right?

You finally took a step inwards, the wood creaking underneath your boot. Mentally, it felt like excruciatingly long hours had just passed by for you to get another step, internally praying that your mind won't play tricks on you from the various sounds that were occurring in the considerably old home. There's nothing or no one here, you're just being a paranoid baby.

Exhaling slowly, you finally shut and locked the front door behind you. Repeating the phrase over and over gave you confidence to continue forwards, determination in your eyes. You'd be damned if Bertolt thinks he could scare you out of your own home, you'd rather go to prison than try to stay at his home for temporary shelter.

You lost your appetite to prepare a simple dinner, now knowing that you'd prefer not to try cooking something when you've just arrived in fear for your life. However, you carefully made your way towards the kitchen, grabbing a knife out of the wooden block. The sound of the metal sliding out of its sheath may have been the loudest thing you've been currently hearing. You gripped onto the handle tightly, turning towards the stairs.

You knew you weren't alone here, the house may settle now and then, but this felt different. This was different. No matter what your brain was telling you, your gut was telling you otherwise.

Crrreeeaaakkkk...

You froze, feeling suddenly out of breath as you stared at the ceiling with wide eyes. The sound came from your room, there was no doubt about it. A memory of Bertolt trying to secretly make breakfast for you flashed into view, the sounds of pans clashing below waking you up. You should've questioned how he gotten in the house in the first place during the earlier stages of this thing of his, but you were far too hungry and tired to even notice until now.

In meticulous steps, you made your way to the staircase, trying to make sure you didn't step on the wrong board and alert the intruder of your presence. Hell, he might've already known since you unlocked the door. The hallway never felt longer than it was before as you approached the room, the moonlight shining down on you and the weapon held in your dominant hand. There was more creaking the more you came towards the door, your heart pounding in your chest in the rhythm of a thousand Abnormals sprinting towards their next delectable meal.

The door was slightly ajar, alarms ringing in your head. You never have left the doors in your room open in your life, especially when sleeping and even when you left the premises. Someone is in there and you know who it is. Taking in a deep breath, you leaned in gradually towards the crack in the door, trying to control the trembling in your hands as you peeked through.

The stench of blood first hit your nose, then the sight within nearly made you scream in horror. Bertolt was in your room, sitting on the middle edge of your bed, all bloodied from head-to-toe what you were able to tell from the street's lamps dully illuminating the surrounding room. Though that was stomach-churning in itself, the action he was performing on your bed made everything even more heinously depraved.

The bastard was fucking his fist with your panties wrapped around his cock, his pelvis erratically jutting into the tight hold he put around it. His lips were slightly parted, almost barely audible groans slipping out with every stroke. Even worse, you could hear just the cusp of your name with it, your own face growing warm.

You had to report this to General Magath, now. Burn your bed and used underwear once you got the chance to second on the list. Reiner failed, maybe even never went up to him, and now you had to take the drastic way out of this. He finally took things way too far; if not your underwear, it might’ve been you.

You took a step backwards, immediately paling as the floorboard behind you squeaked loudly under the weight. The movement from within your room paused abruptly, anxiety and dread crawling up your veins with every passing moment. The sound of the bed springs being relieved of any weight on them immediately alerted you that you needed to start running or hide until he leaves. It was too late, the door opening with a grinding, crackling noise.

"Welcome home, Y/N."

Bertolt lunged at you, instincts kicking in as you swung the knife, aiming for his throat. You knew it wouldn’t kill him, you’ve seen Mikasa do it years ago and he healed without any trace of the injury left, but it would give you enough time to get to Magath’s residence. At least, that’s what you tried to do, but he moved last minute, the blade only digging into the side of his face towards his mouth.

He was stunned by it at first, a nauseating feeling permeating within your stomach as you watched the skin and muscle separate as he opened his mouth, blood streaming down his jawline in thick streams. Then he started chuckling, pressing his hand against the wound roughly and almost pulling it apart. This was no time to stay shocked however. You took this final opportunity to run, carefully trying not to cut yourself as you made your way down the stairs.

"Y/N!!!" Oh god, oh god, oh god. You reached the entrance, turning the lock and pulling it open, the cold air of the night blasting in your face. Freedom was right there in your grasp — just right there — before a thickly drenched hand from behind grabbed ahold of you from the mouth and pulled you back inside.

You couldn’t scream as his bloodied palm held firmly down onto your mouth, tears streaming down your face as he lodged himself right between your legs. He was crazed, his pupils dilated with excitement as he stared down at your quivering form. You could the hardness straining against your uniform pants, a sob stuck in your throat. The inflicted wound on his face was obviously starting to heal, steam coming off of it.

"Good try, too bad you aren’t strong enough to even try to finish the job." He took the knife out of your hold, his blood still staining the edges. Bertolt neared it towards your throat, your body fighting back as it approached closer and closer.

"Hey, you’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep moving like that." He scolded, as if he wasn’t the one with the weapon, the cold blade right against your jugular. You froze on cue, taking in sharp breaths with your nose to try and not to panic even more.

"You weren’t meant to see me uh—" His face flushed pink, scratching his uninjured cheek with his pointer bashfully. This bitch was acting like he didn’t just break in your home, committed a perverse act on your bed, and about cut your throat open. Bertolt slightly adjusted himself, rubbing his still-hard cock against you. "But it was pretty exciting, how long were you watching? Did you get excited?"

You wanted to shake your head, only flinching as you felt him unbuckle the belt, nimble fingers unbuttoning and zipping down your pants. You had no choice but to feel him slip his dirtied hand into your underwear, his fingertips pressing against your hole. A proud smile grew on his face, a vast contrast to your horrified expression as the two of you made the same realization. You’re wet.

Bertolt pulled the knife away from your neck, short relief coming out of you in waves, but he didn’t drop it or throw it aside. No. He used it to tear your uniform shirt open, a muffled yelp escaping you as the cool air made contact with your bare skin.

"We’re going to have some fun together, okay?" You felt like throwing up in his hand, hoping that you’d asphyxiate from it. Your heart stopped as you realized that he was nearing the tip of the blade on your lower stomach, right below your belly button.

"Right after I carve my name into you."

[yestrday]

— TIE ME UP. yan! rich kid! childe x gn! mercenary! reader

your latest hit is a boy named ajax. the job's easy— kidnap him, bully him a bit, then send him back without any will to live. easy enough, it seems, but not everything will go the way you expect it.

( reader is not a good person; murder, mentions of torture; kidnapping; obsessive behavior, tying up, slight mentions of n/sfw, masochistic childe )

note. ahhhh im in a writing a slump so i decided to write the other part of anon's request to practice. idk if it's good enough, but childe will always be my go to whenever i want some disgusting yandere boy

you might like: childe's spiked drink

it's nothing you haven't seen. someone wants someone dead and they would pay millions just to see that come true. you whistle when you open the case of green bills for the nth time this day and the sight makes you smile.

what a haul you've gotten. despite the dread that's been growing inside you since you took this job, the million worth of cash inside this single suitcase is enough for you to retire. maybe you'll finally take a break from all this gory business, find a nice plot of land where the police can't find you, and make a farm for yourself. that sounds nice.

determined to finally finish this once and for all, you slam the suitcase shut and chuck it into the back of your car, along with the squirming ginger screaming at you through his gags.

"it'll be all over soon, love," you croon, sporting a wicked smile. "jus' get some sleep in here, mmkay?"

with one last muffled scream of his, you slam the trunk on the poor man's shaking expression and rev the engine to life.

"'ello there, babe," is the first thing the boy hears when he blinks his eyes awake. "good ting ya slept, hm? the road here was full of em potholes. not exactly pleasant for a passenger in the truck, right?"

it's a classic stereotype— that heavy country accent tinged with seduction and danger— even you're painfully aware of how cheesy your voice is. but it's what you were raised with, plus most of your victims dig the accent anyway, so might as well make use of it. the boy grimaces when the single fluorescent bulb swaying on the ceiling hits his sight, and he lets out a little grunt. 

"ajax childe. third son of the ceo of childe's toy corporation and now…" you plop yourself onto the wooden seat in front of him, nonchalantly waving the knife in front of his wide-eyed stare. "the target of some rich sod's hatred." you give him a lookover, from his ruffled ginger hair, his lean bod, down to his strong calves. clearly, he's been working out. you sigh in mock pity. "what the hell did ya do anyway? make off with someone's girl?" he's pretty enough to entertain the thought, and judging how flirtatious he acts in front of the paparazzi, that very well might be the case.

he protests against the gag once again, and you shake your head. "sorry, babe. not really in the mood to listen to sum brat scream." you tap your cheek as you contemplate on what to do with him. "hmm... they didn't actually want ya dead, if i'll be honest with ya. just bully ya a little till ya want yerself dead, y'feel? it's good to 'ave less blood on my hands, but hm, when i get commissions like these..." you cock your head, pondering over the countless victims you had over the last decade.

"they don't usually come out alive, yanno?"

another muffled scream through the gag, and you watch in boredom as he tries to wiggle his way out of his binds. clearly, however, it's futile when all he accomplishes is burn himself with the rope. well, what else was he expecting? you were a hired mercenary, he a mere ceo's son living a cushy life. there really was no challenge here.

but looking at him... you feel somewhat sympathetic. you have no respect for those high-class scum who like to hide behind fake smiles and faker compliments. but the kid in front of you was just some irresponsible young adult who just happened to be born into the elite, and well, if he wasn't the son of such a big corporation, he'd probably have gotten away with whatever he did. such was the consequence of having too many eyes on you. maybe it'd make you less worse of a human being if you let this kid air his grievances out.

you sigh, getting up from your spot. "alright, alright, i'll ungag you. just shut up already, jeez." he seems to jostle around less when you say that, and you swiftly untie the cloth to let him talk.

you already know what to expect— teary pleas, desperate bribes, maybe even some angry threats. all these are common in victims and more often than not are you forced to listen to all that shit before you decide to gag them again or just shoot them in the head. so you brace yourself for whatever agonizing scream they might have in store for you.

"ah..."

you grimace. here it comes.

"you're prettier than anything i've imagined..." he tilts his pretty face up, gazing at you with lovestruck eyes under the shine of the harsh light. your shock is mirrored in those loony eyes as his smile widens till it almost splits his face into two,

"...[your name]."

"what the fuck?!" instinctively, you recoil away from him, taking steps back while he continues to pin that heart-eyed stare on you. "what in the–?! how the fuck do you know me?!"

"oh, [your name], is there anything i don't know about you?" this... this freak sighs almost dreamily, and it makes you grimace by how slimy it is. "your name, your occupation (obviously), your favorite drinks, your... heh, three sizes!" he lets out a low giggle. "finally...! to finally see you right in front of my very eyes!"

you blanch. "three...?!" this cannot do. you are being outdone and outsmarted by some rich playboy. clearing your throat, you regain your composure and narrow your eyes at him in a glare (why... why is he shivering?!). "bluffs won't save you from your fate, childe."

you live a life in the shadows. leaving traces of yourself for people to find could spell to be your doom, and yet here was this kid claiming that he knew everything there is to you. it was a laughable attempt at a bluff, and he only caught you offguard by that disgusting grin of his. you're confident enough in your own abilities that you know that no one would be ever able to track you—

"[your name] [last name]. single father, three siblings, but they're all dead. you became a mercenary at age 16 and you go to your headquarters every weekend. you like the cafe at sixth avenue and you order the fourth thing on the menu almost every time." his grin widens when he sees the alarmed expression on your face. "should i tell you more?"

impossible. gritting your teeth, you pull him by his collar, almost tipping his chair over until you catch it with your knee. it... spreads his legs and pushes against his bulge, and you want to scrub yourself clean when you see his red blush and lip-bite. "how the fuck d'you know all that?" you snarl. you shake him. "tell me!"

"because i love you," he says, almost breathless. he looks at you with eyes so full of devotion and obsession that you might believe him. "there's not a single piece of you that i don't love."

you pull your lip back. "you're fuckin' disgusting."

"ah, but!" he wiggles in his chair, his clothes straining against the binds. "you're the one who tied me up like this! all vulnerable and ready for you to torture, right?"

you can't believe this man. "that's how kidnappings go, you idiot!" unable to hold on to this weirdo any longer, you let go of him and he and the chair he's tied to collapse to the floor. it's a nasty fall, but you're too busy rubbing your hands together in some attempt to rid yourself of the germs he may have transferred over to you.

the gasp of delight when he hits the floor grates like metal against your ear, and he squirms when you look down at him with such hate and disgust in those pretty eyes of yours. "is it starting? are you gonna torture me now?" your eyes flit to the array of tools you laid out on the counter, but now you feel reluctant to dirty this man's blood with the tools you painstakingly polished to shine. "ah~ ♡ i wonder what you're gonna do to me! are you gonna cut me up and leave me to bleed? tie me up till it hurts to breathe? ah, [your name] ♡" he calls your name with ecstasy. "i'm so excited to see what you'll do!"

with your back turned towards him and facing the tools, you don't grace him with a reply. instead, you bite your lip, panicked and pale expression reflected in the cold reflection of a knife.

'why me?!' your thoughts scream. 'i've never met this man in my life before!'

'how am i supposed to break someone who's gone too fucking far?!'

he continues to smile at your back, watching as you contemplate which torture device you'll bless him with for that night.

'so, so cute!' you're shorter than him, but somehow the thought of you dominating him and spilling his blood makes his jeans tighter. 'they're gonna make me go through sooo much pain, i can feel it! they'll have the power to kill me. they might kill me!'

just like that man you shot in that alleyway, eyes staring blankly at the mess of guts and brain splattered against the wall. there was no remorse in your eyes as you wipe the blood off your cheek with the back of your hand. no remorse as you stuff that body into a bag and make a mess all over yourself.

he remembers it clearly. your skintight black bodysuit, how the blood seemed to match your soulless eyes, the peek of tongue as you licked the blood from your thumb— he remembers it all too well.

how could he not, when he had his back pressed to the wall, out of your sight, hand clamped to suppress his noises. not a terrified scream, mind you. but his heavy breaths as he continued to observe you from a distance.

better than an angel. more divine than an angel. you were the reaper itself, stained in blood and black.

and his obsession with that reaper grew, as you revved off with your motorcycle with the corpse in tow, and he lay in the alley shadows with a hand in his jeans and blood at his feet.

if you had looked closely beneath all the money, maybe you'd see one damning clue that would tell you that this commission was a bad idea. a clue stitched at the bottom of the suit, fancy lettering showcasing initials in cursive:

a.c.

ajax childe's grin grows wider when he sees you finally settle on a tool. even when bound up and knocked to the floor, those hungry eyes and crazed grin seem to make him more of a predator than the you holding a knife.

[applesooyoung]

NSFW! SUB!SKZ headcanons (ooooh she bacc and alive (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧)

Genre: Spicy A/N: Applied fem! reader Warnings: Adult and suggestive stuff not gonna list them all cuz we'll take the whole day when I list all bc this is N A S T Y

Now playing: Baby I - Ariana Grande

Bangchan - Don't even get me started you guys- - I hope it's already clear that subby Chan is my fave - This baby boy DEF loves quality time and words of affirmations - He's just the best baby boy hands down - Choke him, spank him, tie him, chain him, blindfold him YOU WOULDN'T HEAR ANY WHINES HE'S OK UNTIL HE PLEASES YOU AND I AM NOT OK - and as a person with size kink, him being canonically smaller than me just makes wanna- - though i feel like he has a few bratty streaks but that only happens once in a blue moon - He likes to go vanilla and half kinky but leaning on the vanilla side more ykwim?? - Like he loves borderline bdsm shit but he gets more turned on w/ vanilla shit idk idk but i hope you peeps get my point - YO ALSO IMAGINE PEGGING HIM IN THE MUSIC STUDIO WHILE HE'S MAKING ONE OF THEIR SONGS - Just loves soft yet passionate sex - oh and his moans too? - He has a mommy kink and I'm right so you may shut up - A mommy's boy omg - IM STOPPING HERE I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO STOP MYSELF, YOUR HONOR (plstellmeifyouwantmetomakeapt2idgladlydoso)

Lee Know - sugar and spice and everything nice™ - bratty ≥ sassy - lowkey himbo and trophy bf vibes im sorry - he just reminds me of kento in todome no seppun and it's not funny - my fave manwhore </3 - it's power bottom or nothing - the type to force your hips down in his cock type of guy - demanding 10000 - He's cocky at first but ISTG this mf becomes the most submissive piece of schitt's creek when you fuck this little guy - oh don't get me going with the aftercare - he's just so vulnerable at this point that his once asshole facade fades to that an innocent little kitten - He still might have remnants of the a-hole attitude but he's probably ruined by you so there is a chance that he won't - ngl i kinda feel he a switch- but sub!lee know supremacy

Changbin - hard bot :j - The whiniest award goes to.......... SEO CHANGBIN!! - did i mention his pretty whimpers too?? - LOVES it when you hold his hands while doing it - Sugarbaby changbin ; v ; - maybe it's just he loves plushies and I could just see his s/o buying and spoiling him with a fuck ton of plushies -oof what if he fucks those plushies while your gone wtf - that's kinda cute not gonna lie - also i feel like he loves any type of love language as long as you love him, that's enough for him - OH YEAH UM - Phone sex with changbin- - Subby Gamer changbin while you dom him in a discord call - interesting, eh? - ok i just realized that sounded a bit weird but it's kinda cute if you put it in an ok way yk?? - imagine his baritone-ish voice moaning for you ;[ - looks intimidating at first - BUT TRUST ME, HE'S A BABY - a big, submissive, and cuddly one

Hyunjin - sassy ≥ bratty - pillow princess/passenger princess material tho- - REAALLY whiny too not that it's annoying but rather cute - often mistyped as a power bottom... He is - loves praises - he's a people pleaser so we're not really surprised - "Am I a good kitty, y/n" um yes you are, you sassy mf- - DEF loves dressing up for you - IT'S BECAUSE HE'S AWARE OF HOW HE LOOKS LIKE WHEN YOU FUCK HIM OR IF YOU LIKE WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE OR NOT - it's cute ngl gijrothtlrjbdoijth also imagine sugar baby!Hyunjin? - I'm looking respectfully like- - imagine buying things for him because he's been a good boy these past weeks and he's (surprisingly) not been pissing the shit out of you - like buying him accessories and jewelry and treating him like your very own pretty little princess - lipsticks, new dresses, necklaces etc... he loves those - He really loves it when you gift him stuff, he feels loved and appreciated - spoiled little baby omg - I lowkey think masochist!Hyunjin is a thing too so- - Loves punishments (shockers)

Jisung - ngl I kinda feel like he's a wild card (? ?) - but I feel like he's the literal borderline of bratty and good boy - he's really touchy when horny... cute - also, really needy imo - like think of him being horny and he'd definitely and most likely would hump your pillow bcs it has your scent and he couldn't help it - speaking of humping I'm thinking petplay Han -weird ik but not like the extreme bdsm with those whipping and brat taming stuff that needs cages, bowls, collars, leashes, and stuff... right? - hahahahahahahah right, guys? - r i g h t ? */slowly descends into insanity - All jokes aside, I could actually imagine Jisung being like that tho especially since I already put it out there - he's literally the middle of everything... he's neither kinky nor vanilla, good or bratty, top or bottom. That's why I said he's kind of a wild card - weird thought but I feel like he's the type to cum like fast FAST - he's just maybe sensitive on those parts and shit but u get my point - like you could just jerk him for a while and he'll cum under 5 minutes and it's not funny - he loves it when you're protective but in a good way like how you always take care of him and love him always - he also loves when you spend time with him + doing stuff together even if it's silly like who eats the most chips wins $100 and the loser washes the dishes for a week. - he just loves being close and intimate with you

Felix - ok ok ok omg - ok so first of all, he loves his cuddles - you're working? cuddles, sleeping? cuddles, driving? cuddles, cooking? cuddles. - So I hope you get the clue already, yes, he's clingy and touchy - He's so fucking cute omg - burying his face in your chest or the crook of your neck sexual or nonsexual aspects honestly, he loves it - he's so fragile and soft pls protecc him > ﹏ < - spewing out random words of affection is his favorite hobby - he wants you to ruin him </3 - HE SQUEAKS WHEN HE MOANS - I know y'all are suckers for his deep voice but Felix with a higher-pitched voice >>> - He'll melt when you put your hands on his hips while you fuck him, do it, I dare you - whimpers and everything - a kinky baby tho- he likes being tied up - he kins with changbin and I love it - loves degradation - he gets soooo turned on when you stand as his parental figure of like just being the person that takes care of him - Thigh riding >>>

Seungmin - Step aside ladies and gentlemen, the goodest of the boys is coming thru~ - his favorite petname is pup or puppy and that's canon - He's so cute that everything and I mean EVERYTHING you do turns him the fuck on no shit on that - but be careful, he doesn't really enjoy degradation that much, he's vvv sensitive so please take care of your baby seungmin - but instead, give him words of affirmation. This builds his confidence - he cries when you go rough with him, you're being a meanie >:[ - he's your personal fuck toy but again, please be careful. He's so fragile - but I can actually see him taking care of you instead during aftercare - "I hope I did well for you today, Mommy" hufduighdfiughig hold me back, hold me back- - size kink, def size kink. He loves it when you wear your heels - he likes his look simple, just a plain pair of white thigh highs and that's it! He looks so fucking gorgeous and it's not funny - leashing him while he rides your cock is just- - and also when you hold his hands during missionary? Take my money and go. I'm a slut for that and I'm proud of it - but besides those soft things about him... - I believe he has a breeding kink - those puppy eyes when you fuck him in front of a mirror as you hit it from behind- ugh - overall, seungmin is a cute and soft little babyy

I.N - a BEAM of sunshine!! - so bright, so cute, so eager, so.... fuckable - He's such a good boy too and it hurts - although he sometimes kinda brats you but please he's 3% brat and 97% angel descended from the heavens above - idk if it's just me but it's always the maknaes that radiate the most golden retriever energy? Maybe bcs they're so young but nonetheless, I'm living for it - he always greets you with smile and always hugs you awe ;[ - LOVES IT when you mark him up - It doesn't matter where his neck? go, his thighs? go, his arms? go, his jaw? go! go ahead - + the moans and whimpers he'd make while you mark him up is straight up the epitome of immaculate - he has a heck of a stamina - i mean what do we expect from a goldret energy he radiates - loves your regular quickies - can actually handle a lengthy amount of handjobs, he's so good at keeping edged and overstimulated - buff baby boi - clip on fox ears >>>> - doesn't really like dress ups but on special occasions like your birthday, he'd wear his pretty lingerie set you bought him as a gift. - and ofc we know what happens next ;]]]]]]]]

[dorims]

What kinks do u think Roman has?

I just know they’re weird (and I’d still be into them)

so if i have to be honest, ive never really thought about roman's kinks 🥲 HOWEVER you know how he shamed tom for swallowing back his cum after tabs sucked him off?? yeah he's definitely into that and you can't tell me otherwise.

and without further ado! a little brainstorm under the cut <3

tags. VERY SUGGESTIVE, MDNI, an overall masochistic vibe, degradation/praise, allusions to cheating, impact play, mentions of roman's low self-esteem

a/n. psa im not familiar with writing smut and if i gotta be honest im pretty vanilla myself so...do with that what you will LMFAO

masochism

hes a masochist, we been knew

its pretty much the central theme of these hcs too

degradation/praise

so definitely degradation bc its roman, cmon. but for some reason i cant help but think that he's really into being praised too?

could be wrong but i feel like he'd only let himself be praised after he's developed a solid bond with his partner, and it'd probably go from being degraded to a mix of degradation and praise to full praise in some occasions.

if theres not a smooth transition i feel like he would panic and shut himself out. like it feels too intimate or smth.

cuckolding (controversial)

i think he would like it bc it hurts. like his partner sleeping with someone else is kind of like a slap to the face

a situation that has him constantly thinking 'I'm not enough' and that kind of hurt i think he gets off on bc masochism <3

but thats only maybe with the condition he somehow gets the chance to prove to himself and to you that he is better than the person you're sleeping with

OR he's into 'pseudo-cuckolding' so he likes the idea that you COULD go and sleep with someone but you dont, kinda like what happened with grace and the server

SO MAYBE IM WRONG and he would actually hate this but you know, im trynna brainstorm

phone sex (is this even a kink?)

only the sound of your voice and his,

kinda like the romangerri situation LMFAO

because think about it, this way you dont have to actually see him. that would comfort him in some way because of his low self-esteem and self-image issues. that way you can picture anything you want and not be disappointed with the real thing, you know?

i also think that phone sex (or bathroom door sex????) would help him open up until he grows comfortable enough in the intimacy the two of you are building

love how this are supposed to be smut hcs yet im making them slightly angsty

impact play

i think this might be a little self-explanatory, but yes, getting hit in a sexual context turns him on

only when he is receiving ofc

dom/sub dynamics

he's a massive sub and no one can tell me otherwise

its literally on the show TT

ANYWAY, he's probably bratty at first but then just gives in to your every demand because he aims to please

still likes to get on your nerves though, like a lot and i think thats because even when he's been an annoying piece of shit in bed you still take care of him and that reinforces, in his head, that, sure he's being unbearable but that doesn't take away the fact that you care for him and love him, ya know?

also, he would probably call you mommy/daddy at first jokingly but the it kinda sticks??

freud would have a field day with roman roy

OOC BUT FUN TO THINK ABOUT: vanilla sex

hear me out, ik roman's character is pretty much the personification of the words 'kinky mf' but idk

i think vanilla sex would suit roman SOO much. i think for roman to reach the point of having sex with ANYONE there needs to be a established foundation of trust and respect and perhaps love too

and i know sex doesn't necessarily mean love, but we are talking about a man who's definition of love is pain - like love HAS to hurt for it to be love - and undoubtedly he would twist his perception of sex to fit that same definition of love because love is a branch of intimacy and so is sex, you feel me?

i just feel like it would show roman another side of intimacy. all gentle and kind and giggly sex and intimacy doesn't necessarily have to hurt for it to feel good.

like imagine just plain vanilla sex and its banter and laughter and quips and help me lol

vanilla sex and aftercare would solve all his problems, i said what i said /hj

[yanderefarm]

right?? Achilles is probably gonna be the main breadwinner so it's gonna be very stressful on him. I think reader would want to work to lessen his own stress caused by 3 yanderes in the house. I laughed at the statement that ares isn't jealous bcs he's not a masochist LMAO.

Idk what you think but i personally think a slightly controlling darling might go well with the brothers, especially ares. I think if reader went like "im going to keep watch of every single one of you, and make sure you don't do anything that will make me upset, got it? Don't go thinking of doing things, especially hurting others or killing, without my specific permission." With a dangerous vibe and like giving them each a tracker.

Im not thinking of a yandere reader but a slightly possessive one which is how i think they'd be a bit calmer since they have tve security that reader DO want them and WILL hunt them down. And punishment of disappointment and silence ofc

ooooh yeah i definitely see that with the possessive/controlling darling. not even because of jealousy but because you're unwilling to risk a blood thirsty ares ruining your life. it doesn't matter how good achilles and the family are at hiding bodies, no murder means no risk.

i can imagine ares sometimes doing things he isn't supposed to (like going to locations that you didn't approve of) because he wants to see if you're actually watching him. unfortunately it's not worth your silent treatment.

ajax would maybe sneak off occasionally to go to parties or something and he doesn't care to ask your permission. especially if he thinks you and ares are gonna shame him and say he doesn't love you as much. you'd have to get a little more creative with punishing him because he silent treatment and disappointment would just piss him off and he'd give you silent treatment in return.

achilles would give you a detailed list of every location he intends to go to and a good amount of his activities (some of them he explains they're illegal so it's best if you don't know everything) and if he has to go somewhere new he'll text you the location and his explanation. and then you're like "oh this is great... but i wasn't worried about you running off to do crazy shit at all"

he still does it because he likes the way it makes him feel to get your permission to go about his life.

[mrsterlingeverything]

Brat but its brat again because its still brat thoughts because . Because

Coming back to the top to say that i get kind of nasty hateful in this but like thats par for the course for my brat opinions just a heads up that if youre gonna get offended get those fucking cocks out and start stroking you brat loving masochists

Yung lean 👍

The bb tricks verse goes crazy but the remix is bad

Ariana grande song was ok / good

Might say something stupid is genuinely very bad. The vocals sound weird like it is off putting to me. Like i think the tone shift is very random and doesnt work.

Talk talk remix is good. Can we go back to my place 💥 i dont like the um... piano... that part where its like talk to me in french but like the background production that goes up... just an example of the weird ass production choices that make it different but not good. Not good different. Overall pretty good song imo EVERYBODY JUMP 🔫 🙌

Everything is romantic wtf is going on and who is this for WTF IS GOING ON

Rewind finally sounds like something is happening like at the very least the song makes sense. Im not loving it but its like an actual song. Wait it just started getting weird in a bad way. I dont listen to bladee though maybe thats their thing, i feel like it is SORRY i actually care about you bladee fans

The end of so i is kind of good. wait nevermind it lost it

Girl so confusing remix is still good but like taylor wasnt available even though they have to be around each other ? Ik lorde and her have beef but idc

Just the choices of who she picked to feature on this are so ... it kind of shows her taste level lacking to me... caroline polacheck... ok. Addison rae. ok. no one iconic... no legends were available for brat 2. Gaga is desperate shed fly to groit briteen for this for sure. Dont care if shes in america shut up. Not really a fan but taylor wouldve been really cunty here. no tove lo feature she wouldve eaten it up.

Charli to me sounds like beep boop i am a robort. Its like if good edm was trying to be different but didnt have any good ideas so they just started hitting buttons. To me. Like i just think people who had their minds blown by brat need to listen to more music. Anyways i say this but some of my mutuals loved it, so sorry, and also some of them have great taste usually. So idk. My blog i get to hate.

The whole album is like what if we made it sound bad for no reason AGAIN ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Oops i accidentally posted it early. Well now i can stop listening. Im not editing this

[littleplantfreak]

*points at you* OKAY. GIVE ME SOME SADIST/MASOCHIST THOUGHTS RN.....W WHOEVER CHARACTER IS BRAINROTTING ON UR MIND..... >:3c

oxy…i dont usually talk abt it but…u ever think about ume just choking u man?? some days im like ill put his hand on my neck and MAKE him squeeze if he’s nervous abt it. Could I get canon ume to hit me across the face hard enough to give me whiplash while he’s balls deep?? idk probably not but i can fucking dream

I have a friend who i talk abt ghostface!ume with and i go all out w that shit. A guy i could kick in the face as he’s trying to force my pants off and he’d not even be phased? an “oh thats cute” maybe but otherwise undeterred?? do tasers work on him? in my head yes because i need to tase him to tie him up but ghost!face togame takes tasers like a champ 😤

I wanna throw Endo in a blender and by that i mean i just wanna kick his ass till he cums i want his face in the dirt I would be so mean to him 😭 pls give me a one night chance to make him limp in more ways than one. Make him take off work for 3-5 business days because once i get that boy’s hair in my hands? its joever for him i wanna taste blood in his mouth

im also just nasty in general about my dc comic boys but i feel like i wrote too much so ill stick with wbk

[xamaxenta]

They can dry hump and chew on each other's lips a little 👉👈 as a treat.

Also the fucking image of little Sabo just fucking gnawing on Ace is making me lose my mind, they are so fucking FERAL. Tiny psychos.

Kid Sabo whinging about his mouth and gums hurting cuz he recently lost a tooth and hes going stir crazy and Ace is just ughhhhhh here bite my arm or whatever just shut up about it 🙄 (he doesnt actually care hes just pretending it bothers him haha)

Dadan’s like the hell happened to you when she sees Ace all covered in little bite welts and Ace is like nun of ya beezwax ya old hag lol

Anyway YAH as adult tho yeah Sabos gnawing the shit out of him for a totally other reason huffs a laugh against Ace’s neck like remember when i used to bite your forearms?

And Aces like yeah were you actually hurtin or what and Sabo confesses actually biting you hurt more

Ace: what the hell

Sabo: idk like pain good tho

Ace: bruh

Sabo: maybe im a masochist

[snufflepup]

Hm, they sound interesting. I've never heard of them before lol, like when you talked about tablet ice-cream. That of which I actually haven't tried yet cause my mom won't take me to the store :P. Oof, maybe if I can ever come to the UK and we can meet up, then that could be a thing we can do together^^. I enjoyed it a good bit for something live action, and I remember finding a good couple of the guys hot lol. What's your favorite studio ghibli movie? Mines always been spirited away and totoro. Though I liked ponyo a lot too. I've only seen the more popular movies from them, but I wanna watch the other movies too really badly. That actually makes sense lol, I've never heard it said like that, but I understand how the whole power of friendship thing is actually practical in the anime now. Lol thats cute. Who was your favorite character when you watched it? I allways liked bakugou and toga. I love yanderes in different media, and shes just so cute!^^ i used to have space buns like her in 6th grade before i realized they didnt make my roundish face look good. Then i cut my hair pretty short, so i cant do it now lol. Now i go for more of the denki kinda haircut but a little wavy cause thats my hair type. Yeah! Aqua is a water goddess that he uses his last dying wish to bring down to the new magical world with him out of spite lol. Then he meets darkness (masochist yellow girl) and some magical little girl I forgot the name of but her main color is red. I like how his group is basically primary colors and he's green lol. Im actually not that into issekai anime, more so psychological or mystery ones such as tomodachi game and bungou stray dogs. Im embarrased now- im sorry i misunderstood. My little lesbian friend doesnt cuss so i just assumed you were like that too cause i mean idk if ive seen you cuss lol. m glad your day has been alright, apart from that I mean. I understand lol. I get had hearing days a lot cause of how often I have in earbuds and just get hearing fatigue. I swear a ton too lol, though guess that's mostly due to my smoldering southern charm (ゝω・) /j. But my probably most used cuss word is fuck. Or bitch, though I use that more as a word of endearment, like you're my bitch. Though you'd be a guy puppy so I can't really say that :P. Is there a name for guy puppies like there is for girls? Idk any lol. Glad you're excited about more ft content^^ what is it? More chapters to the Manga or a new season to the anime or something? I hate when my asks don't send >:(. How's your day been? I got a school band performance to get ready for tonight. (Maybe the third times a charm)

-Ike<3

Yes !! that sounds good ! (　＾▽＾) I haven't watched any of them in a while, so I'm not sure what mine would be !! I think probably Ponyo, I rewatched it so much when I was younger ! I'd like to watch all of them again really ! It can understand why people still wouldn't like it now, despite that, but nobody ever used to mention it so it used to make me feel a little . insane . I found it hard to decide on a set favourite, but, I think they were deku and uraraka !! I also really liked denki and todoroki a lot too !! aaaa the more I think about the less certain I am of who my favourites are . I love love love toga and bakugo too !!!! I don't actually think I've ever had my hair in space buns, now that I'm thinking of it. . . but I bet little you probably looked super cute ! Your current hair style sounds really nice, too ! I play as the my hero characters a lot when I play fortnite though ! I think it's a little funny to see them do all the dances and stuff fjdhkdkf ooo ! That sounds really cool ! I see I see ! Those ones are pretty cool too, I just whatever ones catch my attention to be honest !!! Don't apologise !! I understand ! I didn't mean it in bad way ^–^ That's fair ! I don't really do it all the time on here because I just . haven't but I've been told by people that they associate swearing with me lol ( and spelling things really badly . ) I'm not really sure why I get it, my guess is that it's probably the same as you, then because I wore earphones like all the time until receently. . . but now I just wear over the head-headphones ! A lot of people where I am swear a lot too, I feel like it is pretty rare to find someone that doesn't swear all the time ! I used to know people that did the same !! I don't really mind it, to be honest, so you could if you wanted ! ^–^ and not really, I think ! Maybe mutt ? It can be used for both, but a lot of people use it on boy ones so ? but it's not really used in the same way bitch is used ! Yes !!! So, currently, whats being worked on is Fairy Tail 100 year quest but he said once that's done he's going to continue Fairy Tail so I'm really really excited !!! I need to catch up with the 100 year quest anime as well, though ! Sorry this took so long . I . don't really have the words to explain but ! Have you been well ? Did your performance go alright ?

[ewwwabug]

kinky stuff tiem.... someone asked me about this.... but i deleted their question so.... im sorryyyy anon

NOW YOU CAN SEE.... KINKS OF LBB GUYS idk about rbb ones yet im a bit embarrassed to show you that WAAA im a weirdo.... also dw ill explain most of these

LETS START.... with Dice... btw his other versions have different kinks

some things here (in fave/yes/maybe) like abuse/biting/crying/swallowing blood/ect not necessarily sexual but they also can turn him on!!! also Varai had to go through some things here, but don't worry, Dice is not as bad as his kidnappers and most often it's dubcon.....

now explanation of some things:

boot licking - oh yes... his favorite. he makes Varai lick his boots clean.... and he gets very angry when Varai touches them with his DIRTY nasty hands

insects/arachnids - if Dice met a bug guy, he would fuck him and then eat him (bug lady is also fine btw) im sorry. he perceives bugs as food

vomiting - Dice can punch someone in the stomach so hard that they will vomit. depending on the situation, this may also turn Dice on. if the vomit stains his FAV BOOTS, he would force the person to lick everything off the boots

scenes - shower/bath - helping someone to wash/shower is.... intimate...

ear play - tongue in the ear.... earlicking...

VARAI...... hes a baby but hypersexual

he has most of his kinks because of his trauma or the influence of other people on him

in the "no" list there are not only things that he would never have done in his life or that he doesn't like, but also things that he had to experience with his life and he doesn't want it to happen with him again

now explanation of some things:

age regression - no it DOESN'T turn him on. this refers to the fact that he cannot control his erection and Jeff helps him (you can read more here)

amputess, disabilities and facials scars - this is not really sexual, he loves these because of Werner and of the literature Varai reads with him... Varai loves amputees they remind him of worms... he also finds Werner very attractive, he loves touching Werner's stumps and face... "normal" people and people with disabilities are equally attractive to him

voyeurism - he likes watching ppl he knows doing things like idk. bathing. jerking off. he likes the risk of being noticed.... but if the person he is watching doesn't like it at all, then he will do it less often and hide better

scenes - shower/bath - refers to the previous kink

objectophilia - Varai is objectum, hes in love with his worm jar and worm plush... this is not always sexual

wormbirth, birthing, anal pregnancy, oviposition, breeding - he can birth worms.... or lay worm eggs.... bc of big worms.... also very often he gets a lot of worms inside that they come out of him it's also wormbirth

stomach bulging - tum full of worms

unsusual semen - worm milk

anal prolapse - red worm....

Jeff!!!! hes...... almost normal just don't look at "maybe" list

I have nothing to explain... well you can read about necrophilia here... he is ready to do anything to make Varai feel good and happy ♡

Jatay..... HE TRIES HIS BEST??? I'm not sure he can even....... turn on or penetrate anyone but HE TRIES.... he probably could have shoved a ladle up your ass or something... he's mostly into VIOLENCE and PAIN and MURDER. he is masochistic and sadistic at the same time

hurt him

thats all

penis penis cock cock

[transfemjoker]

I ❤️ ur Joker so much can I hear ur hcs for her? 😼 also maybe some batjokes hcs sprinkled in there heh

this FANTASTIC ask has been rotting in my inbox for months so here’s my current wealth of joker hcs. written on paper. in unintelligible handwriting

im sooo normal and regular about her <3 (transcript below cut)

thinking soo hard about my au joker. he's consuming my every waking thought! he lives in my brain!

soo I talked about her a little already but he's intersex and uses he/she pronouns :) his gender doesn't really exist she just does what she wants (whatever's funniest)

anyways she looks predominantly physically male - flat-chested, long-limbed, laryngeal prominence, etc. - but his hormone balance isn't super testosterone-heavy. like she can't grow bodily or facial hair (he does have eyebrows/eyelashes and a full head of hair though) and i believe he has a set of ovaries (but he can't get pregnant lol. he's sterile and doesn't have a vagina so they're kind of just in there)

other biological quirks include faster cell growth - like wounds heal faster and hair + nail growth is sped up - she also has a VERY strong immune system and rarely ever gets sick, has weird reactions to fear toxin + ivy's pheromones (+ a lot of prescription drugs and medical anaesthetics don't really work on him), she has a ridiculously high pain tolerance but feels it really acutely (he can just deal with a lot of it), has a lot of chronic nerve pain like a constant crackling surface pain (stolen from that one LKOE dracze fic) and part of her masochistic streak relates to the fact that strong pain breaks up the nerve pain (that and marginally faulty wiring), and she for some reason has reflective retinas like an animal! which is real spooky

her bleached skin is really thin + pale and you can see a lot of veins under it so he looks like a deep sea creature → she's also incredibly emaciated and looks real skeletal - his body mass is super low + it's kind of a medical mystery that he doesn't have some kind of fatigue disorder. I think it's something to do with how his body processes and stores nutrients. idk

before her first outing as 'the joker', he used to stalk bruce around the city when he was on patrol. she did this for maybe a year, and bruce would sometimes see him stood in alleys, perched on rooftops, watching him. bruce spotted her maybe a total of 12-15 times, and kind of doubted that he wasn't just hallucinating; it would've been an eerie image - a figure, ghostly white, skeletal, dressed in a hospital gown + sporting dead eyes and a head of long, straggly green hair - and bruce had only been on the job for about 2 years so he wasn't quite as paranoid yet. when joker first came to prevalence that's when bruce realised it was her :) idk i just want him to haunt bruce in a way that he can't shake similarly to the memory of her fall at ACE

also! some details from canon that I'd like to insert: ↓

- the birthday gifts thing: I really liked that idea and think it's a very joker thing to do - she also celebrates anniversaries (eg. their first fight, bruce's first outing as batman, joker's first major crime, the incident at ACE, etc.) he's sentimental :) - his affection for crossdressing (it isn't really crossdressing in this context but. whatever the instances of it are canon) i think it's neat idk i like seeing her visibly gnc - I wanna keep the wide shapes of a lot of storylines like europa + snyder's stuff (the bench universe, dotf and endgame, etc.) + devil's advocate + joker's apprentice + maybe chunks of deadly duo + broken city + other things - might contain (while credited) some stuff from fit as well bc i'm a total loser ← currently writing fic (like two step and you're by excuse to travel by synthwave + maybe sucker for pain by transformatron + green the colour of greed by distortopia + something these angels wear and with my toes on the edge by cultivation + chunks from other stuff) idk it's kind of difficult to ascertain the speed at which i want their relationship to escalate. we'll see! i definitely want something to have happened during europa (and I'm treating that dracze fic set in the bench universe as canon) but like. they might just be trapped in perpetual hell like in the comics. thanks bruce's morality - i also want to note that in this au literally most everything else is the same as in canon. I'm gonna be drawn to include my headcanons for all the characters and whatever but the batfamily is still constructed the same + jace still dies and babs is still paralysed + the JL is still established + at its core it's still the same thing :) while i'm here i want say though that it's likely i'll take the telltale route with bruce's parents having mob ties because i think that throws a fun moral wrench in the works for him to deal with - much of my interpretation of the joker is based on a grant morrison's interpretation of him. morrison is such a majorly influential writer for me and their description of joker in the arkham asylum cut script notes was tbh my major inspiration for this version of joker :) like that thing they said: "pale and emaciated, he should look simply grotesque but standing there, hand on thrust-out hip, he projects an absolute confidence that confers upon him a bizarre kind of attractiveness and sexuality. it is the attraction of the perverse and the forbidden." - btw. i wanna make a point to include matches malone in my canon. bruce actively uses the matches persona :)

i wanted to detail her weird physical appearance mostly for the sake of the image of him in Arkham; no makeup, no costume, no way for her to dress himself up. he struggles a lot with her image + not feeling attractive or desirable (very 'if i gave up on being pretty i wouldn't know how to be alive') and arkham makes him very unstable because he has no way of controlling the way he's seen

he also has a prosthetic eye like in the comics :) i'd like to think she lost her eye in an altercation with bruce and it helps tie bruce's morality to the joker - whenever bruce sees him, it reminds him of how much harm he causes. lol! i LOVE torturing bruce he's such an interesting character giggles :)

btw for the record i'd also like to state that i consider bruce and joker's relationship to be inherently sadomasochistic in nature. considering joker's canonically a masochist and gets off on what bruce does to him + bruce recognises this and continues to pursue her just the same. they're SO interesting to me

i also believe the thing from the comics about joker's worldview; that she believes he and batman are the only real people in the whole universe. i think it provides such an interesting perspective on his actions - (in that context) he crucially doesn't see the people he kills as people, but rather like. tools. symbols. i think it really communicates the central conflict of his character idk i think it's interesting

on a less deep note, he has a thing for clothing and makeup. she has HEAPS of it stored in warehouses + stuff. he's really good at concealing her safehouses so a lot of it goes undiscovered. he gets his foundation from japanese theatre companies bc they're the only places that do it light enough lol. also important to note that he wears garters + sock suspenders + shirt stays + corseting + structured undergarments + heels + super complex layers of clothing. he prides herself on the craft of it :)

she really takes pride in her performance + the way she's seen - her whole life, his whole career is one big performance. there's very little underneath 'the joker'. he doesn't know who she is, he has no life before bruce, no name, no identity, nothing outside of her fixation on the batman. he was ther at ACE that night (she believes he is - or at least his negligence is - what made her) and joker really clings to batman as a point of stability and focus because, unlike bruce, he has nothing outside of his persona. the batman is bruce wayne (shocker) - he has a life, people he loves - but joker has nothing. that's part of the reason joker's so desperate to ignore that bruce has a 'real identity' and is so defensive of people discovering it; as well as meaning the destruction of batman, it would also remove joker of her ability to deny that there is a person behind batman. he wants so badly to believe that this is all bruce has - that HE is all bruce has - just as is true for him. beneath it all, she just wants to be loved. she just wants to not be alone.

sigh! that was a lot! i don't wanna make him just a deep, dark, brooding character that's BORING that's bruce's job lol. loser. anyways she can be silly too he has whimsy in her soul as well :) i believe soo intensely in DC's ability to be a silly universe because it's inherently so stupid as a concept so to me silly guy joker is real <3 they can have fun

joker getting roped in on justice league stuff is soo personal to me let her be helpful let him make fun of the JL and their stupid missions :)

btw. for future reference he is in no way attracted to women (sorry yuri joker) his relationship with harley (+ MAYBE punchline. strong maybe. only as his protégé) is PURELY manipulative and joker NEVER thought of or treated her sexually or romantically. there's still gonna be animosity there though lol because he still abused and manipulated harley and she still thought joker loved her, but the fact remains that he isn't even vaguely attracted to women so! idc punchline likers so somewhere else lol

another thing from canon (devil's advocate) i'd like to steal is the fact that joker sleeps with his henchmen :) it's real to me

she has a lot of silly pseudo-crushes on a lot of other characters (like lex luthor + bane + lobo + killer croc + superman + what have you. he's a slut what can i say) but none of them will EVER be bats! they know their place and it's NOT in murder-suicide love with her

kicks feet idk i have so many thoughts about joker even though i feel so cringe writing them down. idgaf this is important work