#maybe ill just take the l on this lab

[nintendont2502]

python save me. save me python

[creative-caramel-coffee]

Rich White Men Parties

Summary: Reader feels sick and Tony makes her go to the gala anyway. Pepper comes to your rescue.

TW: vomiting, swearing (once), fever, illness, not being believed, semi-nudity (consented)

Pairing: Pepper x Reader (platonic)

Words: 2k

A/n back at it with the marvel fics again!!!

You needed to show face. It was a fact, one tony had been reminding you of, all week. He knew you hated the gala, thats what you had skipped the last three of them. And now Tony had put his foot down.

On Tuesday he enlisted steve. The two of them had stated that if you skipped this gala, you would be benched from missions for a month

On Wednesday you had been feeling a little off. Chalking it up to a restless nights sleep you drank some more water and took a nap.

Thursday was when things started to go down hill. The water you drank had done nothing. Well … it made you need to pee more but that was it. You had a headache that would have probably taken down Thor.

By Thursday evening you felt like shit on a stick. Your head hurt, your eyes hurt, and your body ached all over. You had decided it was too much. Which was what led you to this point.

You were stood on the threshold of Tony’s lab, debating if this was worth it. You flipped the idea over in your mind like an omelette and decided to just bite the bullet.

You cleared your throat and stepped into the lab. However, that just made your throat hurt.

Tony’s eyes snapped up from his work bench. Peter was sat down on a stool nearby doing homework and his head lifted slowly to watch.

“Mr Stark?” You said timidly.

“Yes?” Tony responded seemingly already annoyed.

“I… I don’t think i can make it to the gala.” You began but he cut you off.

“I don’t wanna hear it L/n. You know the consequence, benched or gala.” He said and turned his eyes back to his work.

“But sir-“ you pressed, and he cut you off again which made you huff quietly.

“Parker? You don’t hear excuses, do you?” Tony asked peter childishly.

“Well sir-“ peter started.

“Never mind kid. Y/n the answers still no.” Tony said.

“Sir she doesn’t look so good.” Peter said taking in your sickly appearance.

“She can shape-shift Pete. If anyone can fake sickness, it’s her. Now finish your homework.” Tony said before turning back to face you.

The flush on your cheeks may have been from anger, embarrassment or the start of a fever, you didn’t know, but it was there.

“L/n, get yourself together. We all hate the media. Press conferences suck. Galas are a step up from that. You, as an avenger, have shown face the least of everyone. It’s impacting your funding, the teams funding. If you want to keep getting missions, you need to give SHEILD a reason to have you in the field more. And on top of training, you need people to like and respect you. Get yourself cleaned up and put your big girl pants on. You're coming to the gala tomorrow night or … like steve said your benched for a month.” Tony said before turning back to his project.

You knew it was over, with a pitying look from peter you nodded to the kid and slunk off down the hall.

You had spent the rest of your day wasting away in your bed. Nausea began to grow in your stomach and despite your body’s protest you forced down a meagre dinner of white rice and chicken.

You called in for an early night and hoped it would all be over tomorrow.

When you woke you felt like shit. Your eyes were tired and sore as you opened them. You dragged your gaze over to the bedside table and almost jumped out of your skin. It was three in the afternoon. You had maybe two and a half hours before the gala started.

Your bones ached, your skin ached, your eyes and your head ached. And more than anything you wanted nothing to do with the gala. But you couldn’t be benched for a whole month. But even now as you felt like hell had frozen over, did it begin seeming like a little less of an awful fate. It was better than throwing up on yourself in front of a room of rich white men in stuffy suits with models hanging off their arms and every word. God, you hated galas.

You pressed a palm to your eye in an attempt to dull the pounding ache in your skull. It did nothing to stave off the persistent form of torture.

You willed yourself to get up, taking at least three spoons to get out of bed.

You stumbled once you were on your feet, steadying yourself on the wall as the room spun and your stomach lurched violently into your chest.

You took carefully calculated wobbly steps to the bathroom before crashing to your knees and heaving. It was unpleasant to say the least. You spat out the foul taste and stood to flush the toilet. You brushed your teeth and inspected your reflection in the mirror. Lifting a finger to make sure that sick and tired looking person in the bathroom mirror really was you.

It was.

You checked the clock and decided to just start getting ready no matter how much you just at wanted to sleep despite having done nothing but sleep all day.

You grabbed the first dress you could find. A tight black number with a slit in the side that almost was something to write home about … almost.

It dipped low on your chest to show off your debt to god otherwise known as perfect boobs. It hugged in the middle to accentuate that snatched waistline and thighs.

You put it on and shivered. It was cold in the thin fabric, or maybe it was too warm. Who knew.

You sat down harshly at the vanity and put on a thick layer of makeup to cover the exhaustion and pale sweaty skin complete with deep purple eye-bags.

You slathered it on thick and fast before checking the time again. You swallowed back the growing pit of sickness in your stomach and began to tame your wild hair.

By the time you had slowly managed to look alive again it was past time for the gala to start.

You summoned your remaining strength to drag yourself up out of the chair. You looked in the mirror once more and fixed your long curly hair.

Sighing you tried to smile like you weren’t dying of a headache what was most likely the initial stages of the flu.

Deeming it good enough you stated out of gala.

When you entered the well-lit room of stuffy rich people your head wanted to split open. And you were ready to let it if it helped.

The music hurt your head, the lights hurt your eyes and the stuffy rich men hurt your soul which was fighting valiantly to leave your body.

You trudged over to a seat in the corner and sat down trying to hide from it all.

The avengers plus pepper were spread across the floor mingling. You watched them from your perch and brooded. Stupid tony and his stupid ego. He could fund the avengers single handedly and still run stark industries.

You fought to keep your head up as exhaustion rolled over you in waves of crushing fatigue.

You groaned quietly and turned to look out the window.

After a few minutes you felt the nausea returning. After a few more you knew there was no stopping the next onslaught of vomiting.

You stood and shivered, heading for the women’s bathrooms, knowing there was no time to find some real privacy.

You hurried across the floor and into the bathroom. You beelined for the largest stall, not bothering to lock it and sunk to your knees.

Your head hovered above the bowl as you gagged and tired to fight it off.

In your haste you had missed that one of the stalls was occupied. Now as you fought heart and soul to not empty your stomach into the toilet, someone was quickly washing their hands.

Then a small knock sounded on the bathroom stall.

“Are you ok in there?” A voice asked and in your fevered haze you failed to recognise its owner. You wanted to respond but you knew if you opened your mouth, it was all over.

As there was no response the door began to open as you turned around again in time to throw up.

Peppers gentle hands scooped your hair off your collar and up out of the way. She used her other hand to gently rub circles on your back.

“It’s ok Y/n/n. You’re alright. Get it out.” She hushed and when you were done you turned to face her with a weak smile.

“Thanks pep.” You rasped.

“Too much to drink?” She chuckled and you didn’t respond, instead spacing out looking at her high heeled shoes. “Y/n/n?” She prompted a frown marring her lips and a wrinkle in her brow. “Earth to Y/n.” She said and still without a response she brushed a curl from your eyes before quickly retracting her hand.

After a second, she replaced it, laid flat against your forehead.

“Oh honey.” She said looking sad. “You’re sick. You have a fever darling.” She cooed and you looked at her with tears on your waterline.

“I know.” You pouted trying not to cry. “Tony wouldn’t listen.” You sobbed.

“Oh sweetie. He’ll listen to me. You and I are going to head to bed, and I’ll look after you. You’re not well and need rest. Whatever Tony thinks, he has another thing coming. Now can you stand up?” She asked softly.

You nodded and slowly stood, swaying on your feet slightly as you did. Pepper put an arm around you and leaned over to flush the toilet.

Then she gently guided you out of the bathroom and over to the lift.

It was a slight blur but before you knew it you were sat on your bed as pepper gently used a cloth to wipe off your makeup.

“For someone who’s hands haven’t stopped shaking, you did a great job on the makeup.” She smiled and you nodded, too fevered to really register the compliment from the queen of galas herself. She looked at you sadly and headed to the bathroom.

She disposed of the washcloth and picked up a thermometer. Coming back to the bed she put the thermometer into your mouth and gently guided you out of your dress. Leaving you in a bra and panties. She slipped on a large T-shirt you slept in and braided your hair.

Then she took out the thermometer and frowned.

“Tonys a deadman.” She said and popped out two fever reducers for you.

She laid her hand on your forehead again to gauge if it was higher than before or not and clicked her tongue. “Defiantly getting these meds.” She said to herself and deposited them in your hands.

She helped you have some water and the medicine and tucked you into bed.

“I’m going to go change but I’ll be back later to check on you. Don’t worry honey, we’ll make sure you get well in no time. I’ll look after you.” She said and Jarvis turned down the lights as she sat down, promising to stay until you fell asleep and to be there when you woke up.

Pepper was like the mum you never had, and it was everything and all your little heart could handle or ever need.

[werdlewrites]

masterlist - ao3 - twitter @ djomamma

summary: “Look, kid,” he’s suddenly closing the space between them, towering above someone so frail and lost, looking for some sort of guidance through the haze. “I’m not afraid. Not of you, or whatever happens tomorrow. Hell, even a year from now. But, I think there are times when… you’re afraid of yourself.” Autumn remains still and unfocused. A stare locked on nothing in particular as her mind twists and pulls at the seams, digging through memories and reliving the hurt in her chest. “You don’t have t’go back. Just-just promise me you’ll think about it.” wc: 3,277 warnings: STEVE TIME, hallucinations, mentions of therapy

There’s unease and a deadly silence the moment those two glass doors fall shut at their backs. A man stands just at the edge, right before cement melds with the grass as he watches them go. A smile of success on his face, and pride. He spares a polite wave as the pair wander off, making eye contact with the officer who just barely glances over his shoulder. His stride is quick, easy to cover the ground with tall legs, yet still struggling to keep up.

Autumn moves against the harsh wind with force. Parting through the unseen with ease out of desperation to escape the grip of Hawkins Lab. It calls out to her. A taunting voice carried with every gust against her skin, but she pushed onward, not daring to look back.

The trio had ventured through the overwhelming building, following close behind their tour guide as he pointed out various spaces - near ghost-like. Rooms, where people once stayed and worked, are uprooted in panic and fleeing into the night. Their life left behind in spilled coffee on the floor and scattered papers. A life now being wiped clean to provide a fresh canvas for rebirth. Dr. Owens explains that hard work is not easy to come by, but that his small staff are reliable and efficient. He apologizes twice more for the incident beyond the walls.

“This, here, is my office.” He’s paused at an opening, allowing them to peer inside and take in the view. It’s boring, really. Just as she pictured. A desk to collect his work and a brilliant blue stress ball, misshapen from the pressure. False greenery to give life to something so dull, with certificates and achievements printed through ink strung up along the wall. In some ways, Autumn can picture her father sitting behind that desk. His wrist aching from hasty writing before slapping the folder shut to escape curious eyes.

“This is where we would meet,” he explains. “With the company of Mr. Jim Hopper, here.”

The officer stands at the girl's side in total silence, studying the man's features and searching for an ounce of ill intent. But his eyes hold sincerity as he awaits Autumn’s response. She remains quiet, merely acknowledging him with a look. Lips sealed tight from a lack of speaking and unwilling to pry them apart. Hopper anticipates some spiteful or sarcastic comment, maybe even an argument. But maybe she had given up. Total surrender as a sliver of hope stares back at her.

“I know you’re scared,” the doctor begins. “We don’t have to do this. You can turn around and go back to your life, and you’ll never see me again.” A hand lays just over his chest as a silent promise to vanish as if he never existed. “But what’s happening to you, won’t just quietly go away. It might get worse. It will get worse.”

Hopper can feel the tension grow around them, like a festering wound. He can hear the sharp intake of air as her body stiffens at his side, cowering beneath his shadow. “Sounds like this isn’t your first time.”

A look of pride and confidence shifts into a smile of sadness. Blue eyes fill with buried memories as they claw their way up to the surface, presenting their beauty and horror for only him to see. The cries of children and the rage that burned them up inside, until they became a mere shadow of themselves. Easy to mold and manipulate into the weapons they needed.

“No, it’s not.”

The car ride is silent, like the many hours prior. He won’t dare to speak and she won’t give him the courtesy of even looking his way. Her focus is locked on the passing scenery, just out the passenger window, looking for the girl. Searching for signs of her younger self in the faded grey. Winter claims and hides her away in the thinning woods. Or perhaps, she lies dormant. Finding the swift changes in her life challenging and overwhelming, seeking shelter from it all when her present self could not. Yet, she finds herself without envy of a girl she can’t fully recognize or place.

Through the silence, a familiar voice calls out for Hopper’s attention. The radio comes to life and the officer seems at his witts end, ready to rip it out from the dash. Still, he answers. Lips pressed to the mouthpiece as he mutters, “What?” Powell mentions another report coming in of a child being seen. Clothes were stolen and running through the woods on their own. For a brief moment, she wonders if it had been a hallucination at all. Maybe, she was being called out to help someone in need.

Autumn can see the way this news brings a certain level of distress. Head fallen back with shoulders sagged, a tormented look in his eyes as he studied the path ahead. She can feel it. The rip of his flesh and soul as he yearns to serve and protect, yet needing to stay by her side while she works her way through a storm conjured up to break her down. In a weakened tone, he says “It’ll be handled,” but never how or when.

Nothing else is said, nor is it needed. The pair vanished into the woods, far from any prying eyes. Inside the cabin, his discomfort is plain to see. He stands just after the threshold, gaze locked on the dirty, old wood with hands planted firmly on his hips. He fights a silent war - to stay or to go. Who would need him more? Would it make a difference?

The girl chooses for him with a heavy sigh, fingers massaging the sore space at her neck until clotted blood falls away like tainted snow. “You should go.”

Hopper has never been a man who needed or sought out permission. Not from family, not from friends or his coworkers - let alone a teenager. But her encouragement gives him a sense of peace. A small shred of relief brings the split he feels to a sudden stop, healing slowly as guilt continues to pour salt into his wounds.

“I’m kind of the reason they’re still out there, right?” Hopper can’t bring himself to answer, though something in her saddened smile tells him that he wouldn’t need to. There’s unspoken blame eating them both alive - maggots to rotten flesh. “D’you trust him?”

“I don’t trust anybody,” he replies without hesitation, and she nods along in acknowledgment. Her tired gaze cast down as she fiddles with what was left of her old jewelry. That old life had long since packed up and wiped clean from Hawkins - maybe even the entire state. “But I think…he can help. Help in ways that I can’t.” All falls to silence after that. The girl is unable to speak for fear a trembling lip will give way like a dam, releasing the floodgates she worked hard to keep strong. He can see it, even in the dark.

“Look, kid,” he’s suddenly closing the space between them, towering above someone so frail and lost, looking for some sort of guidance through the haze. “I’m not afraid. Not of you, or whatever happens tomorrow. Hell, even a year from now. But, I think there are times when… you’re afraid of yourself.” Autumn remains still and unfocused. A stare locked on nothing in particular as her mind twists and pulls at the seams, digging through memories and reliving the hurt in her chest. “You don’t have t’go back. Just-just promise me you’ll think about it.”

Autumn agrees in the silence with a nod of her head. Watching as her protector swiftly shifts into work mode, preparing to disappear into the wilderness in search of another soul to save. He promises to check in, and that he’ll bring home dinner in hopes of lifting the already heavy load from her shoulders. And with a final look to bid her farewell, he slips past the still-opened door and far from her sight. The sound of his engine fades with every second as he puts distance between them.

Now alone, the silence is deafening. Left in her own thoughts - maybe of someone else. Voices crawl over one another as they pile higher and higher. A tower of echoed pain and loneliness. It spreads and digs at the surface of her skin, enticing chipped nails to scratch along the fabric of her sweater and pull at the muscles. It builds rapidly. Seeping into her lungs until it’s suffocating - claustrophobic. Until all she can see in the dim cabin are the wicked smiles of men and creatures.

Hopper had told her to wait for him. To stay put for her physical and emotional safety. But with every tick of the clock, she sees that room. The flicker of a projection against dark wooden walls filled with pristine white. Whispers of children were just at her back when no one was there.

“Run.”

The light is fading in Hawkins by the time Autumn finally settles in. A grey sky now dusted by pink as the sun eases in for a long slumber, beckoning all to join her. But there are others that refuse her kind offer. They evade sleep like a plague, knowing what comes should they welcome it with open arms. There’s only torment in the darkness. They favor a large cup of coffee to keep the demons at bay, like her. Like the teenage girl who’s fled a suddenly crowded cabin to instead sit beneath bright lights of a diner.

It’s louder than she anticipates. Nearly turning her back on it as she passes by the windows, full of kids her age now running amuck with Winter Break in full effect. But, no one spares a glance her way. Far too enamored with their conversations to care about the lone witch of Hawkins taking a seat at the booth. Maybe in a way, she was grateful. They kept all others busy enough so she never became a distraction - a point of interest to mock and spit at.

The spaces at her sides empty one by one. Older men growing tired of the rambunctious teenagers, muttering under their breath as they leave a tip and bitterly leave the scene. And for a moment, she can breathe. Head fallen into her palms as she bounces Dr. Owens's offer back and forth in her mind.

A chance at life, though full of risks.

“It won’t be easy,” the doctor says with a heavy sigh. “You’ll probably hate me at times. But, right now, I’m offering you clarity. A chance to understand who you really are.”

“Aut?” The man's voice fades out, quickly replaced by another that holds a familiar and new warmth. Though, startling in the moment.

Steve stands just at her back with a puzzled look on his face, lips threatening to pull into a smile. “Wh-what are you doing here?” The question comes with a small chuckle, clearly confused by such a public appearance. He even spares a quick look at their surroundings in search of Hopper to stand guard.

“Having coffee,” she offers up, raising the warmed mug to better his view. “What are you doing here? Since you want t’be nosy.” She can’t avoid the grin creeping forward, though hides it behind the ceramic for another sip.

Her sarcasm pulls at unseen strings. The corners of his lips fully turn upward with amusement as he closes the space between them. The boy welcomes himself onto the empty stool, hands folded out across the surface as he studies her with care. “I’m going t’guess that this wasn’t Hop’s idea.”

“How perceptive of you,” she teased, turning her attention back toward the waitress. She’s got a pen and notepad in hand to take the new guest's order but is politely dismissed with the raise of his hand. She almost seems disappointed. “I needed a break.”

His lips part with a whispered, “Ah,” in understanding. Fingers twiddling back and forth from nerves. This new closeness was still not entirely settled in for either of them. “Livin’ with the sheriff gettin’ t’you?”

Autumn can only spare a twitch of the lip and a huffed laugh, twisting the mug back and forth in her hands. She can feel the words creep up the back of her throat, tickling at her tongue until they slip through the cracks, forcing the barrier to collapse. “He found a doctor for me. A-a therapist, I guess.”

It takes a few moments for her words to register. His mouth hung agape as the gears slowly turned until it settled in. There’s a feeling of guilt that constricts his chest for even poking at the situation - encouraging her to confess what others may have kept private. “Oh. Well-well that’s a good thing, right?” His arms cross, leaning further into the counter just to have a better look at his friend, noting the way she avoids meeting his honey eyes. “I mean, everyone needs somebody t’talk to.”

Autumn chews at her lip, gaze locked on the coffee’s oily surface and the patterns created within the sheen. She can still see him in a hazy memory. No longer smiling but instead appearing unimpressed just across a table, grip tightening around a grey mug as he commands another order.

“You nervous?” Steve begins, pulling her focus back toward him with an obvious answer in her eyes - she was terrified. “Y’know, no one can make you do anything, Aut. Believe me, I’ve tried.” The atmosphere begins to ease, and the man's face is replaced by a flash of memories where Steve pleads for her to get back on his bicycle after the fall. Where he tries to get her into his pool for the first time. It’s hard to fight away the smile. “But, maybe it wouldn’t hurt t’give it a shot. Get some things off of your chest.”

Maybe it would hurt.

Maybe it would kill her.

Maybe worse, it would unlock the deadbolt to keep darkened memories secured, letting them spill out into the light. Something evil and rotten, never retreating into the shadows now that it’s tasted freedom.

“C’mon,” the boy says with a sudden burst of energy, swiveling in his seat so his body is fully turned her way. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Yeah? And do what?” She questions with a raised brow, amusement hidden by the rim of her cup as she takes another drink.

His lips purse with brows knitted in thought, attention flickering elsewhere for a spark to guide him. In the end, he surrenders with a casual shrug. “I don’t know. Dumb teenager things? Unless,” a hand gestures toward the crowd at their backs. Voices wild and laughter loud in hopes of gaining attention. The animals had been set free from their cages, now unrestrained and free to disrupt all those around them. All in the name of fun. “Unless you want t’stay here with these idiots.”

It’s all she needs. The ceramic quickly drained of its coffee before resting just over the payment hastily laid out for her waitress. Together, the pair slip out from their seats with Steve working hard to distract her from the sudden glances of fellow students, still unable to make peace with their sudden reunion.

“I heard you and Nance had a little girl time.” He teases.

“And I heard you were playing kiss and make-up.” She wears a smile just at his back, dismissing the sudden spike of her heart rate and the momentary hazy vision. A sensation of dizziness she blames on the amount of caffeine she’s consumed.

The boy is stopped at the glass door, a dramatic roll in his eyes as he forces it open with his back, waiting for her to pass by him and out into the chilled night. It’s an action he doesn’t think twice about. Something natural, and effortless. “I forgot girls like t’gossip.”

It comes for her - for them. It washes in with ease, consuming the world in its evil. In death. Her attention is locked on the contents of her bag, checking that nothing had been left behind in the diner when she notices the ground is no longer painted in the glow of a setting sun. The light is gone - swallowed up by an eclipse as ash rains down from the sky. It dances through the air with every step, quickly coating the top of her boots and dirtying her jeans. Autumn truly sees the world, then. Buildings collapsed and pulled into the Earth by living vines.

The sky cracks with a bolt of lightning, illuminating the nothingness Hawkins had become. She reacts with a flinch, her body recoiling from the sudden shock. The rumble that soon follows is drowned out by a racing heart, echoing in her ears. She wonders if it’s all a dream - or nightmare, rather. Had she even left the cabin? Did exhaustion take over, catapulting her into a deep sleep? Had she ever walked into that diner? Maybe never getting the chance to place an order before she’s out cold, sleeping on folded arms at the booth.

Had she ever seen-

Steve.

Eyes wide and panic in her chest, she turns to find him still there - still with her. Yet he seems elsewhere. A dark gaze is locked on something in the distance, lips fallen to a flat line - completely stone-faced. Empty. For a moment, he seemed frozen in time. A reminder of what was on the other side, waiting for her. But she calls his name, and his eyes move in her direction. The corner of his lips rise into a crooked grin, and something begins to shift.

There’s no warmth to the boy standing before a now vacant building. A soul so easily seen in his eyes was now gone, replaced by something much colder. Something she can’t entirely trust. And when he takes a step toward the girl, her body reacts without thought by adding more distance. Soon, she’s off the curb and into the crumbling street, hand held out to keep him at bay. “Steve!”

The name feels foreign. Like a stray piece in a puzzle that didn’t fit no matter how hard you tried to force it. It was a distraction and further proven the moment he opens his mouth to speak. The tone is deep, with words well spoken. Not like a clumsy boy fumbling his way through life, laughing at the small misfortunes.

“It’s a tragedy, isn’t it? What they’ve done. To you. To me.”

Autumn can’t bring herself to speak. Lungs froze with the lifeless air, muscles trembling and aching from the shock. She merely watches as he continues his approach, knees locked in place, offering her up as bait.

“I know how you must feel. Lost and frightened. Just like you were all of those years ago. And now, you’re desperate.” He’s within inches of her now. His breath is unfelt as if he was only a vision. But his fingers reach out to gently push aside a fallen strand of hair, and her skin reacts to the ghostly touch. Her stomach twists with bile as she drinks in a smile that doesn’t belong to a boy she once knew.

It’s not real.

Not real.

“Willing to let them in - to let yourself truly see. But as that man pries your mind open, you need to remember who was really there for you. Who fought for you. How I could have saved you, and what we could have done.”

[ghostly-wisp]

MR. LOVERMAN 

CHAPTER 4

warnings — angst (fighting !) this one is super long (3,115 words)

[chapter 3] | chapter 5 | series masterlist | page masterlist

It was slow enough at first that you didn’t notice, but at some point you did, honestly, you thought it was your anxiety for a while – you thought he hated you because that's what your brain wanted you to think. So to ease your mind you’d text him more often or try to have conversations when neither of you had students, but he wasn’t saying much. It was starting to make your anxiety worse, and you’d get that anxious feeling in your stomach whenever you saw him. No matter how much he wanted to pull away from you, it would still be a lot. Considering his classroom was across the hall from yours, though he didn’t anticipate that to be for too much longer – rumor has it another science teacher on the first floor was retiring and his room was considerably bigger than Pedro’s, he was hoping that perhaps he’d be moved to that room instead of being in the English hallway.

He missed your presence, he missed seeing you all the time. He missed your laugh and the smile lines you got whenever he made his stupid dad jokes. He missed the way you’d always compliment his ties. He eventually started wearing solid-colored ones instead, he had no point in his fun ones without you. In this mind, this was never of ill intent, this was solely for you, and he never wanted to hurt you. His stupid ties, as stupid as it sounds, reminds him of you, because most days he wore them for you because you loved them. The more he pulled himself away from you, the more he seemed to get these feelings for you. A sense of longing, he just wants to see you. He doesn’t think it's pure attraction, but it's not entirely platonic either. He wants to hold you and never let go sometimes, other times he wants to watch stupid movies and eat like pigs with you and only you. This is what he's afraid of, though, that he gets too attached and gets hurt or he hurts you. His defense mechanism might not exactly be healthy but he's the only way he sees this working out for both of you. In his experience, love is just a long cycle that ends in pain and misery that is not worth it for the good part of it anymore. He believes in love, just not for himself.

He wishes he still did, he wishes he had met you before he got this mentality of love is nothing but a world of hurt, maybe you could’ve changed his mind – if he's being realistic you have that power over him now, he's just too scared to admit it. He's too vulnerable to think that way of someone else right now. Once the whole thing with the crush is over, maybe things can somewhat go back to what they were. Stupid jokes and making fun of each other playfully in front of students, speaking of which – he thought that they wouldn’t realize the less amount of time you were spending in the classroom, but he was stupid to underestimate the memory of teenagers hellbent on something (they were hellbent on the two of you being in love, unbeknownst to him apparently).

He had them silently filling out a lab report whilst he graded papers from another class, one kid leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and looking over to his desk. “Mr. P,” he says, which causes Pedro to glance at him from his desk, “What's up, Arthur?” he asks, the student gets up from the lab chair, makes his way to the front desk, and grabs a tissue box. “Why doesn’t Ms. L/N come by anymore?” he asks, and Pedro’s stomach pangs – he quickly has to come up with a lie, he realizes that most of the kids in the class must be curious, too, because he can see them staring as he stiffens, but he takes a deep breath and says, “She's probably busy, she has work too,” he turns in his chair to look at Arthur, “She's probably busy and didn’t want to disturb the class anymore.” 

He heard a few whispers about a big fight that you two allegedly had that the kids were making up, some said it was about how often the two of you were visiting each other and others said some personal relationship stuff as their guess. Some kids even pick teams – he wants to scream. Everyone should be on your side, you're the innocent one here. He's just the broken-to-pieces new teacher, and there was no fight anyway! At least, he didn’t think so. 

Come to the end of the day he's packing up his bag, and cleaning up his classroom (sometimes you’d think he was babysitting third graders), but he gets distracted by knocking on his door, he looks up and sees you. You’re wearing this dress he likes, and your hair is styled in a way that he could just swoon for, but he can’t, so he stands up straight as you speak.

“Hey, long time no see.” 

“No kidding.” 

You chuckle a bit, stepping a little further into his classroom, and taking a seat on top of one of the desks, the one that he hadn’t put in the seat on top of yet. “Can we talk?” he thinks that he knows what this is about, but he doesn’t want to give anything away, so all he does is nod, set his broom down and close his classroom door before taking a seat in his chair. His focus on you for the first time in a while, sitting in front of you and consumed by only you. His mind wants him to run, to run far away, but he can’t, now after you asked to talk to him so sweetly. Though you did everything “sweetly” because you were a sweet person. You sigh, trying to think of the best way you want to phrase your question, but you just blurt it out – “Are we okay?” He pauses, thinking of the nature of his question, and he nods, “Yeah, why would you think otherwise?” He watches your face turn into slight anger, perhaps some sadness in it too. “Pedro, you act like I don’t exist,” you said it a lot harsher than what you intended, and yet, you didn’t regret saying it. He isn’t sure what to do, because honestly, he hadn’t expected you to say anything to him so he never planned for this. “‘m not,” he says flatly. “I'm just busy, Y/N.”

You consider that you’re being too far in your head, too accusatory of him if he was actually busy and you were coming out wrong in the situation. You take a deep breath, trying to think of a better way to express your feelings. So you start again, “I just feel like you’re avoiding me, and I’ve been trying to assure yourself that you’re not but it's getting harder and harder.” He knows you’ve made the effort, he's been getting more messages and you would offer your assistance in certain things more often than he did before. He feels bad, and it feels worse now that you’re in front of him expressing these feelings. “I had some kids tell me today that they’re on my side, and I don’t even know what that means.” he huffs, shrugging his shoulders. “Don’t worry about it–” 

“I’m pretty worried, Pedro!” again, you didn’t want to come right out and say your feelings like this, but you couldn’t help it. Once you realize his eyes are on you and he's calculating his response, you continue with what you were saying anyway. “They're talking about some fight that I didn't even know we had!"

“We never fought–”

“Really? because it feels like it.”

silence. 

He doesn't know what to say, and you feel like you have nothing more to add. You're waiting for him to add anything, to assure you more than “don't worry about it” and “I'm just busy”. Maybe it was ridiculous of you to think he owed you an apology, he didn't owe you anything. For sake of mind, though, you wanted him to tell you everything was okay between you two without brushed off excuses.

But he stays quiet, he doesn't say a word, he just looks at his hands on his desk, maybe he's thinking or maybe he's waiting until you leave. Either way, he was getting what he wanted, because you slipped yourself off your desk trying to blink back whatever tears were accumulating, and opened the door to his classroom, you looked at him for a second, trying to think of something else to say but nothing came to mind — so you just left. Any other circumstance and you would've waited, but all you wanted was a simple we're okay, I've been distant because ___. Not just “I'm busy. ” When you leave the room, you're sure to close the door behind you. You return to your classroom, closing your door as well.

When you leave his room, Pedro finds it difficult to keep his emotions contained, he wants to go into your classroom and yell at you—for making him care so much, making him scared to hurt you, making him miss another person like you're a part of him. He also wants to cry, and tell you exactly why he's doing this. He's not doing it maliciously, he's doing it to protect himself the only way he knows how. He also wants to protect you, but he sure as shit shouldn't make that decision for you. So all he does in the moment is cry at his desk. 

He wishes he met you sooner, maybe before he met Annabelle, or if he never met you at all, none of this would've happened. He has a printer at home, he could've just waited, but no he had to talk to you. He only did so because he saw no other opportunity, he wanted to meet you and didn't know how else he would've. Meeting you was both the best and worst thing to have happened to him since he got his divorce—and he thinks that he fucked it all up. You only want answers to his behavior and explanations, and you can't even get that from Pedro. If you did something, you want to know what exactly you did. He wouldn’t even give you that.

He was busy now, trying to formulate his thoughts. He started this, he knows that. He knows he has no right to feel this terrible about something when he started the situation but alas, he was fighting back the tears as he closed out his windows account and packed his things up for the day. He puts his backpack over his shoulder and leaves his classroom, closing the door behind him.

He looks at your room, and he thinks about going over. He stands there in thought for a while, all it takes is a couple steps – a couple steps, an apology and perhaps everything can go back to normal. All he has to do is knock on your door and beg for forgiveness and maybe you’ll be kind enough to forgive him. He doesn’t deserve it, though, at least he feels that way. Hes sure you do too. The only thing thats stopping him is his own mind, but his own mind is what got him into this mess in the first place. Fuck it. 

You’re packing your things up slowly, assuring you don’t forget anything that you may need behind. You’re still upset, angered, and its making every small thing annoy you – like the water bottles your students left behind or the pencils that were forgotten about. Of course it wasn’t really about the bottles or the pencils, but they were inconveniences to your attitude right now. 

You’re just about done, you’re ready to leave when the door opens and you assume its Sam – so without even looking, all you do is sigh and say, “Not today, Sam. I don’t have the energy.” but what shocked you was the fact that it wasn’t Sam, it was Pedro. You could tell he had tears ready to break in his eyes but he was doing everything to avoid that from happening, his vision busy be blurry. You both stand there in silence for a moment looking at each other. Is he going to say something? You’re about to come out and say something, but he finally speaks. 

“I’m scared.” his voice is quiet, it cracked, too, theres this emphasis on his words that make your body shiver, you’re stunned, unsure on how to respond, lucky for you, he continues. “I’m scared of being hurt. I’m scared of hurting you. I’m scared of liking you.” he gives up on keeping his tears, he feels just how wet his cheeks are and how warm his face is. Hes suddenly aware of how congested his nose feels. “I miss you, you know that? But I can’t do this. I can’t allow myself to be hurt.” 

“You think I would hurt you?”

“No!” he quickly exclaims, putting his bag down on the ground. Hes suddenly aware that he might be here longer than he thought – in his mind, he was already begging you for forgiveness, or maybe you understood his point and the two of you were friends again, not whatever this limbo shit you two were doing. “I’m so vulnerable right now, Y/N, I just got divorced. I can’t be around someone like you – so.. Perfect. Annabelle took a part of me and I can’t let myself be in a position where someone can take more pieces. I wish I met you sooner.” You’re confused, because everything hes saying sounds like a breakup, but you weren’t in a relationship – unless this was his way of ending your friendship, you’re not exactly following most of what hes saying. Though still, you have that pang in your heart and your blood runs cold. You’re frozen in his face, even when he steps closer to you. “If I met you sooner, I would love to know what could’ve been, if anything, but Y/N–” you put your hand up, and he pauses waiting for you to add something. 

You take a shaky breath, “I get it, Pedro.” your voice is quiet, like hes fragile, if your voice is too loud that you’ll break him, and perhaps you’re right about that. “You don’t have to say anything more. I get it.”

You knew that whatever feelings you had for Pedro you couldn’t indulge on anyways, the age gap, the fact that you worked together, his divorce, nothing was working out for you two. Its not meant to be, all these things you wanted to ignore became so clear to you, it felt like a slap in the face. “I want–” he says quietly, “I want to be with you all the time, you don’t quite understand how much I think about you. But I think about how I will only hurt you and that kills me.” 

Its true, he thinks about how happy you could be before he goes to bed and sometimes he doesn’t know what he dreams of – but he knows that when he wakes up he feels a tightness in chest like the saddest thing in the world happened to him. He dreads going into work because you’re there and you seem so happy, and he wants to preserve that happiness. You look best with a smile on your face, you make so many other people around you smile, who would he be to take that away? He can’t do it, no matter how much hes willing to risk the chance just to be around you more, he thinks about risking it to see if perhaps you would make him happier. Then he comes back to reality, the moment in front of him. He realizes that hes hurt you, hes made you sad, and that feeling of tightness in his chest returns. He can’t even recognize himself, this isn’t how he normally is. “Please understand,” he whispers, his hands reach out for yours, but he quickly takes them away when he realizes what situation that might put you in. “You’re the first person since my ex-wife to make me feel the way I do, I feel so scared to have these feelings. I don’t know what to do, how to care for you the way I should. I don’t know if its still too soon.”

He feels the kind of hurt only love makes, he hopes you don’t feel the same, but deep down he knows you do. He knows that he caused it, he knows that theres nothing he can do to fix it now. He can ramble all these excuses but your heart is hurting because of him. He doesn’t know how to fix it, if he can, but he so desperately wants to. He stands in your colorful English classroom – a place so familiar to him, yet suddenly the room seems strange. Like he doesn’t belong in there, and maybe he doesn’t anymore. You’re standing in front of him on the brink of tears and he doesn’t know what to do. He takes a step back, his heart pounds faster and his chest tightens, he suddenly can’t breathe and the room is spinning. He’s only able to whisper out a couple of apologies before he grabs his bag and scurries out of your room. He wants to run, he felt like running away was the only relief he would get from the panic he felt, the anxiety, but the hallways of the school feel like they’re getting longer with every step he takes. Hes in an endless loop, this was an absolute nightmare and he doesn’t know what to do, he regrets going into your classroom, but he feels like at the same time it was the best thing hes done since he started distancing himself away from you. 

He wonders if you’re okay in your classroom, there's an itch in him to go back and check on you but he just can’t, not now, because he knows that would only make him feel worse. He hopes you know how sorry he is, he hopes you know that he didn’t mean for things to end up like this. He knows he fucks up; he just doesn’t know if he can fix it.

TAGLIST (some people only asked to be reminded for part 2 but I put your name here to make it easier, if you want to be removed just let me know I won't be hurt) + sorry if your tag isn't working:((

@djarinsstuff @doodlebob-mp3

@wanniiieeee @zeyzeys-stuff @jay1bird23 @corpsebridenightamare @queerponcho

@peqchsoup @surazim @melanie451 @krisviciousx @elliescumsl0t @theanxietyqueen17 @vasiliki-koshka

@figusquibis

[leviathanverse]

Chapter 3: Meeting Mrs. Claire

The massive prism known as the HQ or lab had you stare at it in awe. Your mouth was open, eyes wide and filled with awe.

Salami, however, rolled his eyes and walked inside while you were still in awe. It wasn't even a few seconds later that he came back.

" Get inside, lady! We got no time to be seven year olds!"

He grabbed your arm rather harshly, and dragged you inside. This snapped you back into reality as you almost tripped.

You tried to keep up with him. All while you struggled like a fish flopping on land. Maybe you shouldn't have worn your damn sandals.

" Ah! Mr. Shinagazawa! You're hurting my arm!"

" Tch. Stop whining."

Despite being rude after telling him that he was hurting you, his grip lessened. All the scientists or employees looked at you with pity. Huh. That was weird.

But they returned to their task at hand rather quickly. It made you question your sanity. Why did you take this job again? Just- why?

Oh... right... because your friend forced you to get a job. And because you were in need of getting money. You wanted to move out of your house.

What 19 year old stays with their parents now? Maybe some that don't want to leave their parents or earn money at a slow pace.

Yeah... maybe. Still, you felt horrible for still being with your parents. You had the money to get a house! But not to pay the bills.

Taking this job meant you didn't need to go back home. You were paid to stay here, if you had signed the contract.

Your train of thought was interrupted as you were pushed through a door. Not harshly, but not gently either. How nice.

" There is no need to be harsh, Sanemi."

" Sorry, boss. This one was stubborn and didn't want to follow."

" I-"

" Then let her be. We aren't in a rush. There is plenty of time for the discussion and rules."

You saw a man that had white robes. His eyes were a gorgeous lavender colour with lashes as white as snow.

He also had light purple skin that stretched to where his nose was. You wondered if he was ill. There was no other explanation.

" I hope Sanemi didn't give you trouble?"

" Not at all, sir. He was really nice."

Said man looked at you with a strange look. Was he shocked? You didn't have enough time to study his expression as the man spoke again.

" I am Kagaya, the head of the park. You must be Y/n L/n?"

" Ah! Yes, I am Y/n. It is a pleasure to meet you, sir."

" No need for formality. You may call me by my name."

That took you off guard. Call him by his name? Wasn't that rude? He was your boss, and he says you can just call him Kagaya?

It sounded so wrong. You were going to stick with being a bit formal. Calling him sir or boss was a show of respect.

" Sorry if you find this offensive, but that is a bit rude for me to call you by name... I was raised to always call someone sir or ma'am."

" Why you-"

" Sanemi, no conflict please."

" Sorry, boss."

You were shocked to see him bow his head for Mr. Kagaya. Seemed like he had massive respect for him.

" And as for your statement; I don't find that offensive at all. You were raised right by your parents."

" You don't find my statement offensive?"

" Why would I? You apologized for incase if it sounded offensive beforehand. Sanemi, take them to Mrs. Claire please."

" What about her luggage?"

" You can just drop them off right here. She can collect them after meeting Mrs. Claire. Afterwards, give her a tour of the park."

" ... As you wish, boss."

Salami turned to look at you, and scowled. Although, you felt like it wasn't directed at you. You hoped so anyway.

" Let's go, Mrs. Y/n. We don't have all day."

" Sanemi. Be kind to the new janitor."

" It's fine, Mr. Kagaya... I have met people like him before. Sorry if that was rude to say, Mr. Shinagazawa..."

He put some of your luggage down in a corner. You did the same, carefully putting your stuff down.

While you did that, he opened the door and looked at you. He beckoned you to the door. Telling you to step through.

So... he was a gentleman in front of Mr. Kagaya but not in front of everyone else? This man made no sense to you.

" After you, Mrs. Y/n."

" Thank you, Mr. Shinagazawa."

You walked out of the room and Salami followed after you. As soon as he closed the door, he looked at you.

" Why did you defend me? Say that I was no trouble for you?"

His brows furrowed in confusion, clearly unable to break down the words and the possible reason you defended him.

" Because you helped carry some of my luggage. You are a gentleman. I have seen men with far more extreme behaviours and personalities."

" I see... I apologize for my behaviour."

That took you off guard. Did he just apologize to you for his rude behaviour? And first impression?

" Let's go. We don't want to keep Mrs. Claire waiting."

" I agree."

He took the lead, walking in front of you while you followed. He... wasn't really a bad guy.

Maybe he struggled expressing how he feels? It wasn't completely impossible. Some people struggled to express their emotions.

Yeah. That was probably it! You didn't want to think that he was just some rude man. He showed you his nice side, after all.

You couldn't wait to meet Mrs. Claire! She sounded like a well respected worker, from how Salami and Mr. Kagaya used formality when they spoke about her.

You'll find out why that was, you thought. You hoped to make a good first impression when meeting her.

" Shinagazawa? What are you doing here? And who is this?"

You snapped out of your daze and looked to see who talked to Salami. It was a woman with blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes.

" Mrs. Claire, this is Y/n. Y/n, this is Mrs. Claire. She is the main scientist."

The woman with blonde hair looked at you and smiled. She took off her glasses and folded them.

She outstretched one hand for you to shake. You smiled and shook her hand. Being gentle to do so.

" It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Claire."

" It is nice to meet you too, Mrs. Y/n. I have waited for your arrival for a few days now."

She waited to meet you? For a few days now too? Wow... she really was a nice person. Now you felt like you belonged, welcomed.

You couldn't wait for your first day on the job!

Previous <-•-> Next

[codecicle]

SLIME IN THE DRESSES IM HITTING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL. BANGING ROCKS TOGETHER LIKE A CAVEMAN. His casolonas (so sorry if i butchered that i am delirious rn) outfit the playboy bunny fucked SO hard he literally served so much cunt and i miss him where did he go. My cringefail beloved little streamer. AND GEGG. GEGG SYMBOLISM. Slime was always torn between if people loved Gegg or hated him, but I think the islanders loved him regardless. (People asking if he needed armor constantly, giving him food, asking if anyone was on to look after him tec) He may have been weird. Goopy. Squishy. And horribly smelly. But he was still an egg AAAAWGAAARA (you can hear me screaming if you listen closely).

Y'all... Y'ALL CODEFLIPPA being so incredibly fucking delusional but I think the code wants to be loved, or the one who is Juanaflippa wants to. The code (IN MY HEADCANON IDK ABOUT OTHERS!!!!)-is a failed egg experiment from the federation and yearn for its original purpose (to be taken care of and to be loved by others) and since everyone hates the codes (obviously) the only way some figure it out to serve it's intended purpose is to take the form of the eggs. Whether they're dead or alive.

live max reaction ^^

YES YES YES OH MY FUCKING GOD DUDE YOURE SO BASED FOR THAT E X A C T L Y!!! HE FUCKED SO HARD HE WAS SERVING WHERE DID HE GO I WANT HIM BACK CHARLIE BETTER PUT THAT CHARACTER INTO A SITUATION SOON OR SO HELP ME GOD I WILL PICK UP A PENCIL, PEN, AND PAPER AND MAKE IT HAPPEN MYSELF

AND GEGG!!!! AS WEIRD AS HE WAS GEGG WAS STILL AN EGG!! THEY LOVED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS AN EGG AND THEY CARED FOR HIM EVEN WHEN GEGG DIDNT THINK THEY DID I AM GOING TO START SCREAMING WITH YOU

ALSO THE CODEFLIPPA THING!!!!! YOU FUCKIN GET ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im going to be really mentally ill about them one second:

with all of the code eggs we've seen so far, only two of them have been passive while the rest of them have existed only to attack and kill people. the code versions of tallulah, chyanne, trumpet, and tilin all immediately started attacking with no remorse or mercy for anyone involved. they didn't even respond to their own names being called. bobby was a weird exception to this where he was calm and just existed with jaiden and roier for a while until people started to attack him, which is when he ran off and disappeared, EXACTLY LIKE MY FAVORITE LITTLE HUEVO CODEFLIPPA!!

I think while the federation wants to use her as leverage to get charlie to do what they want (kinda shown through all of the birthday gifts being weapons or things to help with stealth) codeflippa doesn't exactly WANT to hurt people. she just wants to be loved. the federation raise eggs in the labs and we know this now after the elq finale stream, so what if the codes are all of the failed eggs that didn't make it through? like the malicious codes are codes they made through other means like normal genetic mutation because they are just. like that. but what if the code eggs are eggs that failed the tests like the parkour that they used for other purposes? they still wanna be eggs they still want to be kids their original purpose was to be a kid and even when the federation sends them on missions like they do with the malicious codes they can't help but get attached and start acting like the huevos the used to be.

i think codeflippa and codebobby could be the malfunctioning or failed codes instead of the normal ones like all the other huevos!! maybe they just wanna find love and a family man is that too much to ask for </3 <- huffing copium. just downing copium by the gallon

[zgvlt]

Hi👋🏻I'm here to say that I'm ABSOLUTELY ADORE your Riddle x Reader fic ❤️❤️❤️

vdoabsiwnshj I didn't expect my ask to be this long. Sorry(?)🙏💦 This is kind of embarrassing so I'm going anon🙈🙈

The way you portray Riddle and Reader is not really something I often seen in the fandom.

Instead of the quite common "Troublemaker x Rule Sticker" or "Slacker x Hard worker", it is "scholar-lord x scholar-lord", two people who have chemistry with each other, but put their first priority on studies instead of relationship is just🤌🤌 hsabpwycdkpshsvsjskskskwhwpb

Therefore, the ending is very satisfying for me🤭🤭 "Maybe more than friends, less than lovers"=my fave trope💁‍♀️ I'm so lovin' it~♡

About ur characterization of Riddle, I really like how his need of having to be the dominant one/in control is there and also very on point😭😭😭😭 He couldn't bear being looked down on/underestimated, to the point even something so small, like the reader sitting on desk would look like towering over him sorta irks him in a way---one of the reason why the 'empty classroom part' is my fave scene🥺🥺🥺

Listing other stuffs I like below. Or else, this ask would be longer than it already is🤣🤣🤣

the way you write Riddle thinking he is subtle with his thing, but is actually not😂

Riddle's lab coat voice line reference😆😆😆

Stages of feelings development from Riddle's side [jealousy/respect👉🏻adimiration👉🏻appreciation👉🏻adoration]

Riddle being 'dense, but not too dense'+"But why would you want my attention anyway? Because you wanted to be my friend?" Idk why this cracks me up so bad🤣🤣

The way Riddle goes from refusing the idea of like-like to as I interpret subconsciously(?) accept the inevitability coming and his jealousy dyed down at the end😲😲, to which his feelings is now "not yet on the crush phrase, but the fondness is there(?)"👀

Riddle refusing to use the L word🤣🤣🤣🤣

Jealousy from both sides are stemed from respect of the other person

"Jealousy won't just disappear because you befriend someone or end up loving them" Feeling sm resonance over this😭😭😭

How Reader seems calm and nonchalant, but can be quite emotional(?) I've always love the idea of Riddle's s/o being an emotionally mature person that would cool themselves down or both of them whenever thry sennse their argument is seemingly escalating

The argue part, plus I totally agree with you on the "Riddle would be good with someone who could argue with him."

Extra note on (10)

As I think arguments is not 100% a bad thing, clashes and conflicts can serve as a way of knowing each other on a deeper level+broaden perspectives (which I hc Riddle' would learn to appreciate), just careful the words not to hurt the other too much+properly make up

[talking about this fic]

oh my god you know when when the ask notif popped up i went to click it and my phone crashed i was like (!!!) is smth wrong with the ask? nathya getting hacked era? but no it was just my phone

anon who are u do i know u 🤔 you type like people i know but i'm also delusional so 🤷‍♀️ but also ANON not to be parasocial right now UR MY NEW BESTIE YOU GET ME YOU GET ME!! i thrive off of feedback like this so scrumptious while reading i went from 😴🤒😷 (i was feeling ill) to 🤩🤭😳 i was smiling and all!!

riddle... when he brings up the friend part he's sort of like, "i mean, if you were also jealous me, then maybe you wanted to be my friend. that was what i was going through"

(8) is me @ my own experiences 😝 since i like dumping my emotions and turning them into fics, but it's true! the people i've been most jealous of are easily my closest friends so yk! life advice from nathya HAHAHA /j

And yeah on (10) i agree! Of course there are healthy ways to go about it, as long as they remember to take a step back to properly communicate, but yeah to better phrase it I see Riddle best with someone who can challenge him, not just academically but in general (but academics is a good way to start)

[whereisten]

Mr. Hyde

A Hendery fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: Hendery is sweet, charming, and kind, but he possesses a dark secret. Unfortunately, Mr. Hyde won’t stay quiet for much longer.

Pairing: Chemical Engineer!Hendery x female reader (college student)

Genre: angst, smut, fluff, violence, murder, horror

Word Count: 10.5k

Warnings: mental illness mention, blood mention, knife mention, murder described, death of side character, possessiveness, cursing, smut: semi-public sex, protected sex, thigh riding, nipple sucking, slapping, choking, rough sex, car sex mention, daddy kink, size kink, slight degradation, dirty talk.

(A/N: WELLL Halloween is here you guys!! Thank you for the support we have gotten for this series, I hope you enjoy this fic inspired by the iconic Jekyll&Hyde story!❤️🥺)

————

“Oh, hello Hendery..”

“Hello, Mr. Hyde..”

“And how did it go today..with the Mayor?”

“That’s none of your concern, Hyde. Leave it to me.”

The dark voice lets out a haunting chuckle. “Hendery..what would you like me to do?”

“Nothing! I said, it’s none of your concern!” Hendery slams his hand down onto the counter.

“But it’s our lab, isn’t it?” 

Hendery cups his face as he breaks down to tears. “Why?! Why won’t you leave me alone?!”

“Oh..Hendery, you can’t get rid of me, no matter what crazy toxins you concoct. I’ll be here, I’ll always be here.”

———

“I don’t see what my difference my presence here makes..” You roll your eyes and step out of your father’s black SUV.

The driver closes the door behind you while your father takes your hand in his and waves to the crowd with the other.

Today, you’ve joined him for a fundraising event in City Hall. The program is designed to bring awareness to a Missing Persons Search Team Fund. Lately, people have been going missing at an alarming rate and your father, the Mayor, is unsure of what to do about it. The police and volunteering citizens had done the best they could to conduct thorough search parties but no one was ever found. These people varied in age and description so there was no way to formulate a possible killer’s profile.

Your father initiated a curfew for everyone to abide by until they found the missing people and the kidnapper..dead or alive.

You were a college student and your institution was about two hours away, but your father didn’t feel safe and insisted on you staying at home while taking classes online. You did as he said, for you knew that this must’ve been difficult for him, considering your own dealings with the death of your mother. She was found murdered in an alleyway a few years ago, prompting a change in your father’s life. He was determined to become a leading figure in society that would bring down the city’s crime rate. And it worked...until now.

“The more people we have on board, the faster we find these people and the better I look, the better OUR family looks.” He whispered into your ear while displaying a wide smile to his “fans.”

You smiled as well and nodded.

And so, you found yourself seated at a round table by yourself as your father spoke with other leaders, sergeants, politicians, and the fund creators.

And what difference did your presence make? Nothing.

You scrolled through your phone and huffed. You saw pictures of your friends back at college. There had been a Halloween party the night before and they all posted pictures of themselves in their costumes looking drunk and happy. 

You were jealous to say the least. You just wanted a normal life, but now even Halloween was canceled because of the curfew your father put in place.

You didn’t notice that a slender man with brown hair sat down beside you as you pouted.

“You must be so bored..” His low voice spoke.

You looked up at him and smiled. “Hi..yeah, I am very bored.”

The man in a nice dress shirt and tie laughed and then you realized you may have insulted one of the organizers.

“Oh!” You sat up straight in your chair and put your phone down. “I’m so sorry..I didn’t mean to offend—“

“Oh..of course not, sweetheart. I’m quite bored myself.”

Sweetheart. The way that word left his lips made your heart tremble.

You nodded and stared at his heart-shaped lips, maybe a little too long. “I see..” You looked away. “My name is y/n..the mayor is..”

“Your father..yes, is that the only reason for you being here?” He tilted his head while smirking.

You looked to the side and hesitated. You looked up to him with wide eyes.

“Y-yes, I’m sorry but—“

“Don’t be sorry, my name is Dr. Wong, but you can call me Hendery.”

Your mouth fell open. He looked like he was your age, but he already had a doctoral degree? You were stunned.

“I know..I’m kinda young, but I skipped a few grades.”

Your eyes widened. “Wow! That’s so cool, what do you do?”

Hendery smiled when you looked shocked by his title and complimented him. “I’m the leading chemical engineer at the WCT Lab..”

You gasped, WCT lab was responsible for breakthrough advancements in technology as well as medical advancements. That was what your city was primarily known for. And for this young man to be the leading engineer was amazing. Why was he sitting with you, a college student? Surely, you were only insulting his intelligence.

Hendery was pleased by your surprised look once again, he felt a sense of pride.

“Dr. Wong, I mean, Hendery..that’s amazing! You guys have done some wonderful things at that lab. Well..of course, you already know that.”

You closed your eyes. Oh how dumb you must’ve sounded to him.

But Hendery only adored you even more when you got flustered.

“It’s okay, y/n..It happens all the time. People don’t expect that from me, someone that’s just 21 years old, to be the head of all projects.”

You nodded, then looked to your father who was still speaking with several men and women of importance surrounding him.

“Why aren’t you up there with him?” You turned back to Hendery. “You’re just as important as them.”

Hendery glanced up at your father then back at you. Something about his gaze felt..good. His eyes were intense but made you feel like it was just the two of you in the room. You felt warm as you saw his shirt hug his biceps as he leaned forward.

“My presence doesn’t make a difference either, but it does make me look good.” He gave a wink as his smile widened.

Your face became warm.

“I’ll tell you what..come with me for a moment, I’m going to show you a cool trick.”

He stood up and held his hand out for you to take. You held it and smoothed your dress down as you stood up.

Hendery thought you were beautiful, unlike anyone else. You were like a butterfly with a unique pattern of vibrant colors on its wings. Your touch was delicate like one too.

He took you to the kitchen in the hall. No one was there but the two of you.

You stood by the island in the center.

“What are we doing here?”

“Are you nervous?” Hendery shuffled through the freezer.

“No..” You lied as you looked around for the closest knife to pick up just in case he tried anything.

“The knives are to your right.” He called out, as if hearing your thoughts.

You chuckled and leaned against the counter while feeling embarrassed.

“Okay, so I’ve got some ice..” He placed a few ice cubes onto the countertop and then reached over for the salt dispenser.

“And some salt..”

You nodded, unsure of where he was going with this. “Okay.”

“Now, hold your hand out.” He smiled at you again.

Your brows furrowed but you did as he said.

He placed his hand over yours. Your skin was smooth and warm, his touch was gentle as he slowly traced his fingertips over your knuckles.

He stood so close to you, you could feel his breath on your forehead.

Your eyes grew as a silent moment rested between the two of you, you looked up at him as if no one had ever held your hand before.

He cleared his throat and looked away from your eyes and to your hand. “I’m going to put some salt in your palm, then I’m going to place ice on it, simple right?”

You nodded.

Hendery smiled again and glanced down at your lips.

“Alright..good.”

He poured the salt out then put about three ice cubes into your hand.

“Now, close your hand.”

You do as he says and after a few seconds you wince in pain.

A burning feeling shoots through your hand, you open your palm out and shake the ice to the floor.

“Oh my God, Hendery! What the hell was that?” You look up in pain. 

Hendery laughs. 

“You see, salt lowers the melting point of ice..hence why you briefly experienced the burning sensation.”

“I could’ve gotten frostbite!” 

Hendery only laughed harder. “Y/n...you wouldn’t be so stupid as to let it stay long enough for that...but I am.”

You looked up at him questioningly.

He poured salt out into his own hand and placed ice onto it.

He shut his hand and smiled. You watched him intensely. How could he endure this type of pain for so long?

“Hendery..that’s enough, you should stop now.” 

You go to grab his hand, but he turns.

“No, no, I’m fine, I promise.”

“Surely, that must be painful, Hendery!”

“Does it impress you?” He turns when you try to open his hand again. He smirks while he watches you freak out.

“No..no! It doesn’t, it’s freaking me out actually!”

Hendery pouts with his hand still closed. “Oh no..I wanted to impress the pretty girl.”

You shook your head. “Let me see your hand.”

He turns again.

“Hendery!”

“I’ll let you see it, if you let me take you out some time.”

You tilted your head. “Oh my God, that’s why you did this? Hendery..why didn’t you just ask?” You peel his hand open and see red, burnt skin. Several lesions have been created.

Your eyes widened but Hendery only adores your face while you hold his hand.

“So is that a yes?” He pays no attention to the burns on his palm, knowing that they’d go away soon enough if he just drank the right thing for it.

“You’re crazy, but yes, you can take me out.”

————

[Two Days Later] 

You and Hendery swapped phone numbers later that night. You agreed to go to the street art fair where you would walk around and learn more about each other.

Hendery waved to you as he walked over to the entrance.

He looked cooler now, in a flannel and jeans while aviator sunglasses covered his eyes. 

His hair had a slight wave to it and hung more loosely than it did the first time you met.

“Hey Doc, how’s your hand?” 

Hendery held his palm out to you and to your surprise, you saw nothing that would indicate he had burned himself just two days prior. His palm looked normal.

“W-what?”

“All healed up, I told you I’d be fine.”

He smirked then took your hand and led you through the gate.

The fair was calm, you got to talk about your major in college and why you were home this year.

Hendery told you that he got his degree overseas and came back here to help your town. He said that he always felt drawn to it for it needed so much assistance, he felt he was the one to help.

You liked his dedication to his craft, but even more, you liked watching him talk about it. His eyes were shielded from you, but even then you could tell that he was passionate and in love with his work.

“Well..I guess it’s time to go home..gotta get back before curfew.” 

You stared up at him. “You’re right. I had a—“

“Y/n! What are you doing here? I thought you were home.”

It was none other than your father. He hustled towards you. Hendery’s smile fell as he watched him walk over. 

“I’ll go mad if I spend any more time in the house, dad.” You sighed and crossed your arms.

His focus shifts from you and to Hendery. “And young man, it’s nice to see you again, but what has my daughter done to warrant your presence?”

You rolled your eyes, your finger rubbed your temple.

Hendery chuckled softly. “Your daughter and I had a wonderful time today, we were just saying goodbye.”

Your father frowned and looked back at you.

“Well...goodbye then.” He stepped towards you.

You turned to leave with your father before you could be embarrassed any more. Your father was always like this since your mother died, overprotective and on guard.

“Y/n…” Hendery’s soft voice called out.

You turned back to look at him. Your face looked gorgeous in the sunset, the sun made your eyes glitter and your lips were shaped perfectly. Of all the art he had seen today, you, in this moment, were the prettiest sight he’d ever seen.

“Yes?”

“I’ll..see you later.”

You smiled and nodded. “Of course.”

When you got to your father’s car, he scolded you on how you shouldn't be interested in speaking with anyone right now, for everyone was a suspect.

“You have to be careful, no one is safe!”

You leaned your head against the window.

“I understand, father, but all of my friends are at college right now, would it really hurt if I go out every now and then?”

“Yes! Yeah it would hurt, why? Because you could go missing or lose your life!”

“Why are you so strict? He’s a nerd, what harm could he possibly do to me. I thought you’d like him, I know mom would’ve--”

You stopped when you realized what you had said. Your mom's death was something that you were both still grappling with. You tried not to speak of her, for it only made both of you more upset.

Your dad sighed, he held back tears. “Y/n..I’m sorry..I’m sorry I’m this way..Sometimes I can’t help it, but..I’m just worried, I-“

“I know, dad..let’s just go home.”

When you got inside he spoke to you again before you headed to your room. “That boy..If you want to see him again..He’ll be at the soup kitchen on Thursday, he’s always helping out there.”

You turned and smiled. “Thanks, dad.”

———-

[Thursday]

You had volunteered at the soup kitchen a few times during high school, it was a rewarding experience, for you got to help out while hearing from members of the community that you wouldn’t usually meet or speak to. They varied in age and overall life experiences, each one had a story to tell. 

You stood in the utilities closet of the kitchen alone and put your apron on, but struggled to tie it in the back.

“Damn it..” You whispered, you just couldn’t find the other strap.

Then you felt a presence behind you. 

“Do you need help?” You heard a familiar voice say.

But before you could spin around to face him, his fingers tapped along your waist on both sides and grabbed the straps. He stepped closer, leaning down to breathe against the back of your neck.

A chill ran through your body as the apron tightened around your body perfectly.

You finally spun around to face him.

“Hendery.” 

He watches his name fall from your lips.

He smirks and licks his lips. “How’d you know?”

You laughed, but his intense and low gaze on your face made you weak.

“Your voice..I’d recognize it anywhere.”

Hendery blushed and laughed.

“Do you like my voice, sweetheart?”

Another chill vibrates through your body and you find yourself pressing your legs together.

You breathe heavily and nod. “I do..and I’d like it if you’d call me at night...when you leave work of course.”

“Understood.” He licks his lips again and turns to leave. You follow behind him and out to the main dining area where you both serve food together.

During your break, you watched him go to each table to talk to all of the families eating. He grinned as they asked him how he’d been doing since the last time they saw him the week before.

He even sat down next to any elderly attendees that needed assistance with eating their food.

Your heart fluttered. He was so kind, caring and handsome on top of it all.

“How long have you two been seeing each other?” A man said. His voice broke you out of the trance Hendery had you in.

“Oh..” You turned to him as you leaned against a wall.

“We aren’t dating.”

The man that spoke to you was none other than Yuta, the head chef and owner of Osaka Moon, the best restaurant in the city. He was in charge of providing food for the soup kitchen every Thursday and did a wonderful job each time from what you had heard. Everyone loved his five star meals.

He smiled softly. “Well..if you continue to look at him like that..it won’t be long til you do.”

“Like what?” Your brows knitted.

Yuta only chuckled and shrugged his shoulders before walking away.

But he was right, you started dating. You found yourself FaceTiming Hendery every night until you fell asleep. You spoke about everything, never running out of topics to talk about and never getting bored. His personality, like Cinderella’s slipper, fit yours incredibly well.

Fortunately, that wasn’t the only thing that fit perfectly. 

———

[1 Month Later]

One day at the soup kitchen, the two of you found yourselves knocking over cans of fruit in the kitchen closet.

Your legs wrapped around his waist as he slid in and out of you for the first time. You just couldn’t hold back anymore. You wanted him badly and a kiss just wasn’t enough.

He covered your mouth with his hand, for your moans were beautiful but grew increasingly louder as he rubbed your clit. 

He breathed heavily into your neck. “Sweetheart, I’m going to ruin you later for being so loud.”

You let out a mewl while the wetness between your legs increased at his words.

Your nails scratched his back as he pinned you against a cabinet.

And later that day, he did ruin you in his car before he let you out to go home. He parked just a few blocks away, luckily his windows were tinted so no one could see him bringing you to paradise in the back seat with your hands tied behind your back with his belt.

You laid down together when you finished.

His fingers played in your scalp as your back rested against his chest. He kissed your neck and listened to you breathe.

“How’s school?” He said in between kisses.

You took his other hand in yours and intertwined your fingers. “It’s okay, finals are stressful.”

“Well, you know I’m here to help.” He kisses you again.

You smiled. “Of course, but I know you have your own issues to deal with. How are things at the lab?”

You knew he had been frustrated lately because some of his appeals for certain projects had been denied by the national organizations. You failed to remember the very specific details he told you the night before, but he was overjoyed that you remembered him even mentioning it.

He smiled to himself, tucking your hair behind your ear as you yawned.

“Things are okay, it'll all work out, I’m sure.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Hendery chuckled. “Because they all give in to me sooner or later.” His voice sounded a bit different then, it was deeper, rougher.

Deep into the night after Hendery drops you off home, he drives down an empty street.

“When will you tell her?”

“Tell her what?”

“About me! About us..”

“She will never know about you because you don’t matter!” Hendery says sternly.

“Fuck you! I’m the reason why you got this far, you fool!”

He grips the steering wheel and winces. “I like her..a lot. I can’t hurt her. I won’t hurt her.’

“And how many times have you said that before? Hmm?”

Hendery blinks slowly and looks to his rear view mirror.

“The clock strikes 8 and the world goes empty, which poor, wandering soul will be our next victim?”

“‘Our?’ You’re on your own..”

“And when the blood is on my hands, don’t forget to look down at yours too..now shut up, and stop here..this girl looks lonely.”

“No..I won’t do that.”

“I wasn’t asking! Pull over!”

“No!” Hendery struggles, but pulls over and stops right beside a girl waiting at a bus stop.

“Hello..need a lift?”

——

[1 Week Later]

You hadn’t seen Hendery since that night, you knew that he was busy with work, but you didn’t think he’d be this busy.

“Hey.” You say once he answers the FaceTime call.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

He looks disheveled and has bags under his eyes. His eyes look intense as he props the phone up beside his computer screen and continues to type.

“Are you still at the lab?” 

Hendery feels soft when he hears your sweet voice, it calms him down. He stops typing and looks at you, all cuddled up in your blanket on the bed.

“Yeah..” he pouts, “I wish I could be there with you right now..”

“Oh? And what would you do if you were here?”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Ahhh you naughty girl, well..just for that, I’d only cuddle you..”

“Henderyyyy don’t be so cruel, what if I need you?” 

“Then I’d hug you tightly and make you wait until the morning.” He winked and started typing again.

“What if I call you “daddy?” You whisper into the phone, knowing that it would drive him crazy.

His typing fingers stuttered for a moment but he exhaled and furrowed his brows as he continued his work.

“Baby? I haven’t seen you in so long, play with me..please.” You begged.

“No..not tonight, sweetheart.” He wasn’t even looking at the screen anymore.

“But baby..”

“I said no!” He said angrily. You never heard him like this before. His voice was rough again and different, like it had doubled.

He looked at you then back at his computer screen.

He fidgeted and had trouble breathing for a moment, but you stayed silent.

“I’m—I’m sorry, I should go now, goodnight.”

He hung up before you could say goodnight.

That was the first of many moments that were strange to you. Hendery wasn’t as sweet sometimes. He’d be short with you even at the soup kitchen. When you tugged his shirt to pull him to the back he ignored you and fixed his hair.

He looked tired and you tried to pin it on him acting on the stress he was recently experiencing, but the truth was that it was much more complicated.

Late at night, Hendery would find himself fighting someone else. Someone that had been more intent on doing their own thing.

“Let’s take a walk in the park tonight.”

“No, Mr. Hyde..”

“Really? I think it would help you to relieve some stress.”

“I need to sleep..I feel terrible, I don’t even know what you’re doing anymore..why don’t you stop this? Why don’t you leave me alone so I can function like a normal person?” Hendery holds his head as he lays down on his couch.

“You can rest while I take care of the imbeciles out there, the more we kill, the happier we’ll be.”

“No!!” Hendery shouts. “How many more?! How many more must die at your hand? I will control you! You will not overrule me!”

He grabs a glass of green liquid from the coffee table and brings to his lips. He chugs it down as tears stream down his face, but soon he is thrown to the floor on his knees. He feels fingers in his throat, his eyes roll in the back of his head as veins protrude from his forehead. Then, out comes the liquid that he just struggled to swallow.

He balls his fists up and cries. “NOOOO!! That was the last of it!”

“It’s okay, Hendery, it’s time to go to sleep anyway. You’ll make more tomorrow, but you’ll be just as defenseless against me.”

“No, no, please don’t! Please don’t kill anyone else!”

“And what would you rather me do to gain satisfaction? Torture them until they BEG to be killed?” Mr. Hyde laughs sinisterly as Hendery drifts into unconsciousness.

The next morning, Hendery wakes to find himself covered in blood, he can’t remember how he got to his bed or whose blood is on him, but he sees the knife at the end of the bed covered in blood as well. He breaks down in tears and yells out for mercy as he realizes that he can no longer control Mr. Hyde.

————

[Two Days Later]

You meet up with Hendery for a Starbucks date.

“I’m sorry about the other night..the stress got to me.” Hendery smiles softly when he watches you burn your mouth with hot coffee.

The truth was that you like iced caramel macchiato but you wanted to be more “serious” around Hendery so you only drank black coffee like a “regular” adult.

You hissed as the hot liquid burned your tongue.

“How many times do I have to tell you?..just order what you want.” He giggled and sipped his own coffee.

“Eh, I know, but..isn't it a bit childish?” You asked with wide eyes.

Hendery chuckled and ran his hand down the side of your face. He adored you. 

“No..nothing is childish if you enjoy it.”

You smiled. “Okay.”

You sat in silence most of the time as you both worked on your projects separately. Hendery still looked handsome, but strange. You’d glance up at him every now and then and see that his brows were always knitted and his lips moved like he was talking to himself.

He spoke quickly, so you could never make out what he actually said.

The bags around his eyes were red and his cheeks looked more sunken in like he hadn’t been eating well. His shirt was crushed, but when you first met him his shirts were always pressed and tucked in neatly. And his hair had grown out, like he hadn’t bothered to visit a stylist recently.

“Hendery..is everything alright?” You put your hand on his.

He quickly withdrew his hand and held it while glaring at you.

“I’m fine!” He said loudly, the few customers sitting nearby turned to the two of you when they heard his roar.

He realized he was loud and relaxed into his seat. “I’m sorry, again. I-I was just frightened.”

You nod slowly and put your hand back under the table.

Before the two of you departed each other, you gave him a hug and a kiss. 

You walked towards your house as Hendery watched.

He felt pain in his heart when he watched you walk away with a defeated look. You were sad because of him, and he hated that. He just wanted to make you happy, he just wanted everything to be under control.

“Y/n..There’s a new art museum opening up on Friday, your father extended curfew just for it..would you like to go with me?”

You turned to him and smiled widely. “Is that a date?”

“Of course..we can spend some time in my car afterwards..if you want. Would that make you happy?” He gave you a wink.

You nodded. “As long as I’m with you, Hendery. I’m happy.”

———

[Two Days Later]

Hendery decides to have dinner with your father at his penthouse. He pretends to prepare a meal for him that was actually provided by Osaka Moon’s Catering company.

He had a maid make everything spotless and made sure to spend a little more time on his hair and outfit. He had to ensure that your father took him seriously, for he would plan to ask him once more for a donation from the city for his lab. They would be able to do more research this way. 

He had posited the question once before, but gained a disappointing ‘no,’ as your father focused more on the missing people’s fund, however, Hendery believed it imperative for the lab to gain new resources and make new developments that would positively affect the city’s environment.

So tonight, he hoped that with some food and humor, he could convince the mayor. 

“What are your intentions with my daughter? I see you have been seeing each other quite frequently lately..” your father took a bite of his steak and chewed while looking down at his plate.

Hendery smiled. “Your daughter and I have a wonderful relationship, I would say. She is very supportive and kind, the world could be better with more people like her.”

“Well, I certainly agree. Do you feel that you can protect her from this cruel world?” He looks up from his plate and looks sternly on Hendery.

Hendery swallows hard, but nods quickly. “Of course, I’d do anything to protect her.”

Cut the bullshit, get to the question.

A few more minutes pass. The two speak about wonderful changes that have occurred in the past year. Hendery even cracks a few jokes to get a chuckle from your father.

As things whine down and your father prepares to leave, Hendery leans forward and intertwines his fingers on the dining table.

“Mr. Y/l/n, I believe that you are a man of great intelligence, therefore, I believe that you will make the right call by supporting my lab.”

Your father raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms as Hendery continues.

“I believe that you will see the importance of funding our research at the lab. We will be able to make even more groundbreaking developments like we have in the past year. We need the resources should we continue.”

Your father thinks for a moment then shakes his head. “I am so sorry, son, but I cannot issue the funds to your lab at this time.”

Hendery sighs but the mayor continues.

“We are dealing with a huge crisis in our city right now, I have to help our citizens find their loved ones. Furthermore, with the holidays approaching, we must provide food and assistance to families in need. The budget for your lab is not there.”

“Yes, sir, I understand the importance of these things, but I have been asking for your assistance for these past few months now, we simply cannot go any further without it..” Hendery taps his finger against the table while trying to hold back. He swallows the grumbling in his chest.

His eyes stare intensely at the mayor, but the mayor is unfazed.

“I will not provide tax payers money to some boy that wants to do his little experiments..at the end of the day, your work being done is not a matter of life or death.”

Hendery twitches when he hears the mayor’s insult.

“Please..don’t make me do something I’ll regret.” He whispers lowly.

Your father leans forward in his chair.

“Is that a threat, boy?”

Hendery smirks and loosens his tie.

“I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but just because you gave me some food, doesn’t mean I will bend over and let you do what you will.”

Hendery laughs under his breath. “Your daughter did.”

Your father shoots up from the table.

“What did you say?!”

Hendery’s eyes narrow, his mouth grows into a creepy smile as he laughs. “You heard me!”

Your father walks around the table and grabs Hendery up by the collar, but Hendery grabs the steak knife and presses the sharp tip into his neck just deep enough to draw blood.

Your father freezes, his eyes widen in fear.

“Hendery, what in God’s name are you doing?!”

“Hendery isn’t here anymore, you fucking fool. You should’ve just listened to him the first time, now I have to take over because he was too weak!” Hendery’s voice comes out in a deep tone your father had never heard before. Venom practically leaves his tone as he speaks.

Your father stares in confusion as the knife presses in deeper.

“Listen, you worthless piece of shit. We thought you were smart but it turns out you’re just as dumb as any other bimbo in this shitty city. So let’s spell it out for you, give us the money or we will kill your daughter…”

His head snaps to the right. “We won’t kill her!” Hendery’s usual voice cries out.

“Shut up!” He snaps his head back to the left.

“You’re-you’re insane.” Your father stares into his red eyes and pale skin.

He looks strange and scary, like someone that was already dead.

This couldn’t possibly have been the same person he spoke to just a few minutes ago.

“Aren’t we all, mayor?” He chuckles and twists the knife, your father cries out in pain.

“Okay! Okay! I’ll give you the money!” Your father couldn’t lose you like he lost his wife. He wouldn’t mess up this time, he had to give Hendery whatever he wanted if he wanted you to stay alive and well.

Hendery nods. “Good.” 

He lets the mayor go and laughs loudly while still wielding the knife in his hand and watching the Mayor run out.

———

[Friday Night]

Hendery wakes up at 9 P.M. He looks down at his hands and sees bruises across his knuckles.

He sits up straight on the bed and rubs his head.

“Shit..what did you do?”

But there’s no answer.

He missed the entire day because of Mr. Hyde. He was taking his life over, it seemed the potion was no longer having an affect on him, for he couldn’t remember where he was on most nights. But even worse, more recently it seemed he’d blackout during the days as well.

He looks at his phone and sees that he has 13 missed calls and several text messages from you.

“Damn it!” He curses and jumps up from the bed. He runs to the shower to see if he can go to the art museum before you left.

He called you several times as he drove to the museum but you didn’t answer, you ignored his calls because you were pissed he didn’t show.

You were busy speaking with Ten, a writer for the city’s newspaper. He was observing an artwork when he came across you staring at your phone with tears in your eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

You looked up at him with a somber expression then broke down even more. He took you outside where you talked about what happened. He then told you a joke to make you laugh and about his job.

“I focus on stories that deal with art and culture, so of course I had to be here.”

“Oh, that’s very nice. The pieces in there are really interesting..well, at least from what I saw before I started crying like an idiot.” You shrugged your shoulders.

“Don’t say that..you’re not an idiot. I’m sure he has a reason..you just need to talk about it.”

You nod. “But Ten, it’s not just that. He’s been...different lately. I can’t speak with him very often because he gets upset..this was supposed to be our first date together in a long time. It was supposed to be a “first” for us.”

Ten nodded as he watched you sniffle. “Have you thought about leaving him?”

You shook your head. “I really like him...I just think we need more time, maybe we just have to work on communication.”

Ten gave you a smile. “I agree, if you think he’s worth it, then you’ll both find a way to work it out. Now, it’s 9:30..would you like me to drop you home before you lose a slipper, Princess?”

You felt your face become warm as you smiled.

Ten walked you home as the two of you continued to talk about painters and the artistic styles you enjoyed.

You never noticed Hendery watching the two of you from across the street.

He felt his heart race, an animalistic side was creeping out as he watched you laugh and smile with another man. Sure, he didn’t show up for your date, but did that mean that you should move on so quickly?

Hendery grows angry, he sticks his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and watches Ten give you a hug at your doorstep.

“I should just text her back and apologize.”

“And what will that do? She’ll just ignore you then go on a date with this guy tomorrow.”

“Thats nonsense, she wouldn’t do that to me.”

“Oh, Hendery, he wants her, she wants him, it’s clear to see. But you won’t believe it until she trips and conveniently falls on his dick, will you?”

Hendery shakes his head. “Shut up!”

“Why don’t we just get rid of him so you don’t have to worry about that happening?”

“No! No more murders.”

“But Hendery, what about the elderly man from this morning? Or the middle aged homeless person from the afternoon? Or how about the young girl from the bus stop?” 

“Stop it, Hyde!”

“Hendery...it’s time for you to go to sleep.”

“No! No!! Don’t do this again!”

But Hyde takes over once more, following Ten as he walks back to the museum.

———

[The Next Day]

You wake up late in the afternoon and turn the TV on for the news. Your dad already left for work so it’s just you in the house.

“Breaking News, it was discovered this morning, a writer from The Chronicles has gone missing. He goes by the name Ten and his vehicle was found with the key in its ignition and the front door open. Ten was last seen at the opening for the new art museum on 45th street.. If you have any information on Ten’s whereabouts, please contact the police at 555-5127.”

Your mouth fell open. The friendly gentleman that you met the night before had gone missing. You instantly felt guilty as you realized that he dropped you home and put his life in danger for it.

Then, your doorbell rang.

You looked through the peephole and saw Hendery.

You bit your bottom lip and sighed. You had been avoiding him since he ditched you, but you should’ve known he would visit you sooner or later when he knew your dad wasn’t home.

You opened the door.

“Hi.” You said with tight lips.

Hendery looked at you with pleading eyes that almost broke your hard exterior. His hair was wavy and hung in his forehead. His eyes looked tired and his face looked drained, but he still looked handsome to you.

“Baby..I’m so sorry, can I come in?”

You widened the door. “Yeah..I guess..”

Hendery brought in a large bouquet of flowers in one hand and a large gift bag in the other hand.

You sat down on the couch and turned off the TV.

“Okay, baby, listen, I’ve been at the lab a lot lately, I haven’t had enough sleep and I..I decided to take a nap like an idiot. I overslept and missed our date, I’m so so sorry, please baby, I didn’t do it on purpose.” He says in one breath as he drops the bag down and gets on his knees in front of you.

Your eyes widen. “Okay! Okay, you don’t have to do that..”

“Do you forgive me?” Hendery’s eyes are round and watery.

You caress the side of his face with your hand while he looks up at you like you’re the messiah. “Hendery..we should talk, maybe you should take a break from the lab..you look tired.”

Hendery melts in your hand as he closes his eyes. “Sweetheart..I love your touch..”

“You’re stressing yourself out, maybe it’s time for a vacation.” You continue.

He places his hand over yours and brings it to his lips. He kisses it softly.

“I’m fine, baby. I promise.” His voice is gravelly and makes you weak.

You sigh. “Sit beside me…”

Hendery smirks, he’s able to change the topic so effortlessly once he hypnotizes you with his eyes and touch. “Why?”

You lick your lips. “Are you really teasing me right now? After what you did last night?”

Hendery chuckles and gets up onto the couch beside you. You take his face in between your hands and kiss him deeply. You both grow hot and kiss each other with more passion as you struggle to breathe steadily, your tongue brushing over his and his teeth nipping onto your bottom lip.

He pulls away abruptly. “Wait..there’s something I have to show you.”

You watch him reach into the gift bag and pull out a large box. He hands it to you and grins. “Open it, sweetheart.”

“What’s this?” You lift the sides carefully and open the top. You then see that it’s a beautiful dress, but not just any dress. As you hold it above your head to let it fall loose from the box, you see that it’s the black Gucci dress that you told him you loved. It was long sleeve but slit down the center with a plunging neckline. 

You gasped. “For me?”

Hendery nodded when he saw your face light up.

“Oh my god! Hendery!” You turned to him with your mouth still agape.

He nodded. “You’re gonna look great in it, baby, but there’s something else..” he reaches into the bag and pulls out a small ring box.

“Hendery..”

He opens the box and shows you a dazzling emerald cut sapphire colored ring.

Your eyes widen even more. “Oh—oh my god!”

You fling your arms around him and hug him tightly.

He laughs as you freak out over your gifts and holds you to his chest. The two of you fall onto the couch and continue to make out.

“I love it, baby, thank you.” You say before kissing his neck.

He feels a chill run through his body as you lay on top of him. “It’s a promise ring, I promise to protect you and love you for as long as I live.”

You felt your legs weaken by his words.

“Hendery..I love you..” you kiss his collarbone.

Neither of you felt that it was early, for there was an undeniable connection that you had to each other. You couldn’t imagine yourselves with anyone else.

You sucked his skin in between your teeth and listened to him moan, the purplish marks you gave him standing bright and clear as the sunny day outside. 

You then pulled the band of his sweatpants down to reveal his hard member and licked the tip leaking with pre cum already.

You forgot about everything as the two of you made love. You only felt him, his love, his embrace, his caring nature. You loved it all and yearned for him to be with you forever.

———

[New Year’s Eve]

Things had calmed down a bit since that day. Hendery started looking and feeling better as his lab received more than enough money to continue research and development projects.

You also noticed that the rate of people going missing each week had gone down significantly, as if the culprit was taking a break for the holidays.

You felt happier now that Hendery and your father were both happier. Things felt right when you had Hendery by your side for Thanksgiving dinner and for the entire day of Christmas. And now, you could ring in the new year together. You hoped that your future would remain as bright as these past few days had been.

Hendery bought you so many gifts for Christmas, you had to leave some of them in his place. But you didn’t mind it, as it gave you an excuse to stay over some nights. Surprisingly, your dad was okay with that.

Your dad lifted curfew for the holidays, meaning you and Hendery could go to the movies or ice skating whenever you had the chance. You also got to make out by the giant Christmas tree by city hall and snap a few pictures together.

And when the nights were cold, Hendery wrapped you in his arms and kept you warm. He’d whisper sweet words into your ear and wait for you to drift into sleep.

He was taking double the amount of his “medication” to hold Mr. Hyde back. He was able to create more of it with your father’s generous donation that allowed him to buy the chemicals necessary. But he couldn’t ignore the fact that a part of him missed Mr. Hyde, for he felt more..confident with him around.

Nonetheless, Hendery spun you around on the ballroom floor as you danced.

The city was having a countdown special at a mansion owned by Johnny, the owner of the popular greenhouse conservatory on the outskirts.

His place was beautiful and you found yourself in awe at all of the art on the walls.

“I didn’t know you could dance.” You looked impressed by his dancing skills.

Hendery blushed. “I didn’t know I could either, but I may have watched a YouTube video or two to prepare for this..” he gave you a wink.

“Ohh..I see.” You laughed out as Hendery watched your beautiful smile. You looked stunning in the dress he bought you. Your neck and cleavage looked wonderful and oh so tempting. Your makeup was also done well, even though he thought you were gorgeous without it.

Hendery looked dapper in his suit and smoothed back hair. His hand on your waist and the way he looked into your eyes as you danced close made you tremble.

Hendery couldn’t keep his eyes from drifting down to your chest. He breathed heavily and the beast inside him dared to crawl out at any moment.

He was struggling to hold him back, but your silky, revealing dress has their thoughts running wild. He’s growing impatient. Sooner or later, Mr. Hyde will take over if Hendery doesn’t hold him back.

Hendery clears his throat and lets go of your hand. “Excuse me, I have to go to the restroom..”

A look of concern crosses your face but you nod and watch him scurry to the bathroom.

In the meantime, you watch your father speak to the elites a few feet away. You take a sip of your drink and look to the other direction.

A lady walks over to you suddenly.

“Hello! You must be the mayor’s beautiful daughter! How are you?” The woman asked enthusiastically.

You gave a smile that your dad would’ve been proud of and shook her hand.

“Yes! I am his daughter and thank you so much, I’m flattered.” You chuckled.

She nods. “You look amazing, but I couldn’t help but notice the ring on your finger.”

She points to the ring on your hand that is holding the glass.

“Oh.. what about it?”

“It’s just...I could’ve sworn I saw it on TV or something..” she puts a finger to her chin.

You shrugged your shoulders. 

“Ahh! Yes! That’s where I saw it, on the news I think, it was missing from a jewelry store! I think it’s worth about 50 grand!”

“What are you talking about?” Hendery pops up behind her.

He walks beside you and takes your hand in his. “Are you really trying to harass the Mayor’s daughter by accusing her of stealing a ring?”

The woman shook her head. “I am so sorry, you guys have a good night.” She walks away.

You turn to Hendery. “What was that?”

Hendery’s face relaxes when he looks back at you.

“I don’t know, but let’s dance.”

You dance for a few more minutes. Hendery starts to sweat and pull your body closer to his, he licks his lips as he watches your eyes fall low.

“Baby, I’m so sorry but I can’t take it anymore.” He takes your hand and leads you to the bathroom upstairs where things are a little quieter.

You stumble into the bathroom while kissing. Hendery fidgets his hand behind him and eventually finds the lock. He also flips the light switch.

He wraps an arm around you, picking you up and placing you to sit on the counter.

You continue to kiss him but Hendery is impatient.

He lifts his mouth from yours and yanks down the fabric of your dress to reveal your hard nipples.

“Fuck..this is what I’ve been dying to see all night.” He latches his mouth onto your nipple, sucking hard as you hold your body up with your hands behind your back.

Your head falls back as his tongue lays flat against the hard nub then circles around it.

“Ahh..Hendery, that feels so good.”

He looks up at you through dark eyes then bites you.

You yelp and look down. 

“It’s ‘daddy’ to you.” His voice is grumbly and deep.

You nod. “Daddy, give me more please.” You look up, dewy-eyed.

Hendery sucks and pumps harder. His touch is aggressive, but you don’t want him to stop. Just as long as he was touching you.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, I could just watch you all night.” He whispers into your chest then flicks his tongue over your breast again.

He pulls the other side down now, your breast popping out like it was begging to be released from its restrictive cloth covering.

You sat there on the counter, choking back moans and tightening your legs together as he continued to suck your breasts dry.

“Daddy..please..I need you..need you in me.”

Hendery squeezes your breast harder as you squeal.

“Stand up.” He demands while walking back to a stool in the bathroom and taking his jacket off.

He sits down onto it and pats his thigh. “Show me how you’ll ride my cock.”

You walk over to him and part your legs before sitting down and facing him.

He glared at you sternly, no trace of love rests in his gaze as he watches you like a hungry animal.

“No underwear.” He clicks his tongue when he feels your bare pussy resting on his clothed thigh.

You shake your head.

“What a whore you are, I can’t wait to do whatever I want with you.”

You bite your lip and start to move back and forth, you feel your clit begin to gain satisfaction.

You press down harder and hold onto his shoulder while grinding onto his thigh.

Your chest feels weak. You feel so good as friction comforts that one spot.

“Does it feel good?” He whispers with a straight face.

“Y-yes, daddy, so good.”

“Then stand up.”

Your face contorts in confusion.

“Be a good girl and stand up.”

You reluctantly leave his thigh and stand up.

He grabs your hip with one hand and looks up at you through his lashes. He reaches under your dress with his other hand and delivers a short, sharp slap to your dripping folds.

“Ah!” You cry out, but you don’t dare move.

He runs his hand over it now, caressing it to soothe the pain.

Your breath hitches in your throat.

“Mmmm so wet, sweetheart.” He licks his lips and delivers another blow.

You would’ve fallen forward had he not been holding you with his other hand.

“You’ve been tempting me all night with this slutty dress, did you think you would escape punishment?” He growls.

And slap after slap you felt your skin getting warm, but your wetness never failing to coat his fingers.

“Please..fuck me.” You exhale after he slaps you.

“Get on your knees.” 

You get on your knees and move to a position where you can suck his cock, but he shakes his head. 

“No no no..on all fours.”

The cold tile aggravates your knees but you ignore it and focus more on the aching in between your legs.

Hendery gets on the floor behind you and flips up the bottom half of your dress so it bunches up by your waist.

He places his hands onto your breasts while grinding his bulge against your ass.

“Fuck..daddy, please.”

He watches you fidget below him, your essence coating his dress pants as you lay there and take him just like that.

Your pussy quivers each time his bulge just barely presses onto it.

You breathe heavily and moan.

“Do you think you can take me, sweetheart?” You hear him zip his pants down. A sense of relief floods your body.

“Yes.”

“Without taking my fingers first?”

“Yes, daddy.”

You can feel his tip hit your thigh. You move backwards and closer to him, just to feel him closer to you, anything to feel him.

“No, no stay still.”

He slides a condom on and watches your ass perk up in the air in anticipation. Your beautiful folds drip before him.

You gasp as he runs his tip in between them to coat it with your slick.

He smirks and grabs your waist while burying into hard and deep.

Your body falls onto the tile, you cry out loudly from the pain of him suddenly stretching you out but he wraps an arm under you and picks you up.

“I said, stay still!” He grumbles out again but his tone is harsher, darker.

Your arms shake as you hold your body up and attempt to adjust to his length.

He was both wide and long, tears escaped your eyes as he slid into your tight opening.

“So..fucking tight..especially for a whore like you.”

You bite your lips to hold back an embarrassingly loud moan.

He slides in and out quicker and pulls your head back by grabbing your hair. “Why are you crying? Is it too big for you?”

He thrusts hard, making your ass cheeks shake against his hips and your mouth fall open. He was never this rough with you, you wondered why he sounded different.

He was also bigger than usual, you thought.

“Mmmm..n-no.”

He thrusts hard again, nestling himself deep within your walls and pushing against your insides.

He then pulls out completely before giving your ass a harsh slap. You fall onto the floor and cry out.

“No, what?!”

“No, daddy!”

He flips you over onto your back just so he can see your teary face and lips swollen from you biting them.

He licks his lips and goes back to sucking your breasts like he did before, only this time, his cock is passing against your silky walls.

You feel every ridge, every vein, every twitch. 

Curse words leave your mouth as you are brought closer and closer to the edge.

He placed his hands on either side of your head and fucks into you from above while watching your breasts move with each thrust. His nails dig into your knees as he pushes them further apart, watching his long cock glide into your small opening like magic. The way you open up for him drives him crazy.

You’re so wet, he slips in and out with ease. 

“Should I let you cum?”

“Yes, daddy, please.” You licked your lips and watched the handsome man above you. He had loosened a few buttons but his hair, now free and wavy, dangled over your face.

He takes your hard nipples in between his fingers and pinches them. You arch your back and moan.

This all felt so wrong but so right. Him fucking you hard and into the new year on the bathroom floor while your father was just down stairs a few feet away. 

You came instantly, your body trembling as it clenched around him. Your eyes shut tightly, Hendery watched your jaw clenched and grabbed your chin.

“I didn’t tell you to cum, now I’ll have to go harder.” He growled out.

He fucked you hard, your back rubbing against the tile as he didn’t let up on his unforgiving thrusts.

“Too-too much, daddy.” You cried out as tears escaped your eyes again.

“That’s too fucking bad, you came without permission, so now you’re gonna take it,” he thrusted particularly hard with an emphasis on “take it.”

You moaned loudly and squirmed under him, but he held you still, his fingertips digging into your waist. You panted and cried as a burning feeling shot through your skin..

Hendery fucked you like some kind of animal with a crazy sex drive, placing your legs onto his shoulders and ripping some fabric from your expensive dress.

“Hendery! What the-“

“Shhh!! I want to see my cock fill you up, sweetheart. Want to see my little whore take all of me in.”

A smile creeped across his face.

You got up on your elbows and saw that his girthy penis really was poking through your stomach slightly.

“Fuck..so fucking good, daddy.”

Your hips started to hurt from your legs being open and spread out for so long, but Hendery didn’t care, you were all his tonight, and he was going to make sure you remembered that.

“Who were you walking home with after you left the art museum?”

Your brows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

Why would he bring up something from a few months ago?

“The guy..I saw him take you home..what’s his name?”

He rubs your clit, making you disoriented.

“I don't know Hendery, I went home by myself that night.”

“Oh, don’t fucking lie to me, whore.” He places his hand around your throat and squeezes it.

You clench uncontrollably as your clit feels amazing with his thumb on it.

Hendery cums as you tighten around him unexpectedly. You release as well, his hand tightens even more around your throat. You see stars and shake. Your body feels weak, but Hendery doesn’t pull out or let your throat go.

He leans downward and kisses your lips.

He looks wild and different, his eyes are more intense with a red glow around them that you hadn’t seen before. He has purple and green veins bursting out from his forehead and neck also.

He chokes you while staring into your eyes and as you come down from your high, you notice that something is wrong.

He pulls his limp member out but lets it lay on your stomach.

“Tell me his fucking name!”

Your eyes grow. “Who are you talking about?!” You manage to utter out while slowly losing breath.

He lays a sloppy kiss onto your lips again then pulls away. “Do you want to know what Ten’s last words were?”

You grasped his shoulders. “Hendery, this isn’t funny.”

“Oh, but it is, sweetheart..you should’ve seen the look of terror on his face when I held the knife above his head.”

Your mouth fell open, greeting Hendery’s as he laid another kiss. You struggled to push him off of you, so you bit his lip and crawled away from him.

Hendery kneeled on the ground and held his lip. A low chuckle escapes and it’s one that is horrifying.

“But baby, we were having so much fun, why did you do that?”

“Because you’re not funny! I’m leaving!” You stumble to your feet and fix your dress over your breasts.

You rush to the door but Hendery blocks it. You cower in fear. He doesn’t look like himself at all, he looks like some kind of monster with a wild look.

“Hendery? What’s wrong with you?”

“Hendery’s not here anymore.” The deep voice laughs out.

“Let me go.” You begin to tremble.

“Hendery had his fun, I think I deserve to have fun too.”

You were so confused as this monster takes Hendery over, but you quickly devise a plan.

You grab the soap dispenser behind you and quickly hit him in the head. He snarls out in pain but you have just enough time to push past him and out of the door.

You rush down the stairs and call out for help, but then you notice that the fireworks are going off. People are laughing and sharing drinks on the rooftop together.

You turn to head back up the stairs and to the rooftop to get help, but Hendery is already making his way down with an angry look on his face.

No one is in the mansion but you..and him.

You run out of the mansion as fast as you can, hoping that you can find anyone that could help you.

You felt pain in your hips from being stretched out but you ignored it. You were terrified as you heard him bolting after you with superhuman speed.

“Help!! Help me!!” You cried out but the streets were empty, everyone was celebrating the new year as beautiful and loud fireworks lit up the sky.

You continue to run and breathe heavily, you finally create a safe distance between yourself and him so you lean against the back of a wall and wait for him to pass.

He slows down when he no longer sees you..

“Sweetheart..it’s just me and you, now. Don’t worry about him!” Hendery’s normal voice calls out.

You tremble and cry in fear, but cover your mouth as he gets closer.

“What are you talking about? I’m still here, where is the little whore?” A darker voice says.

“She’s smart, we won’t find her.” The first voice says.

You’re confused, it’s as if two people are talking to each other, but it’s just Hendery.

“I can smell her..” the darker voice says.

“No!! No!! Leave her alone!” Hendery fights himself in the street alone, he goes crazy  while yelling and throwing himself around.

“But she’s mine!”

“Mr. Hyde..please just leave me alone..” Hendery falls to his knees and sobs in the middle of the street.

“I live inside you forever, Hendery, with Satan himself by my side.”

“No!!”

And then you only hear silence.

You peak out to see if he has left but to your surprise. He’s right there beside you, his crazy eyes glaring as he smiles.

“Found ya!”

You scream and run away and into the yard of a random house, you stumble into the shed and look around for anything you can use to protect yourself.

A bat.

You take the bat and walk around the yard. 

You see Hendery walking around the house. You take in a sharp breath then run up to him fast and swing as hard as you can.

His body falls to floor limply.

You drop the bat and cover your mouth, screaming once more as you look on the body of your strange lover.

———-

[1 Month Later]

You’re starting the spring semester at college, physically. You and your father both agreed that after what happened, it would be best for you to spend some time away.

You told your father about what had happened that night the next day. He told you that Hendery had threatened him and you both came to the conclusion that Hendery was suffering from some sort of psychological disorder. One that would allow him to kidnap and murder people.

Some missing people were found in the lab’s crematory room, but evidence showed that most victims were cremated. This amount of cremation filled the air with harmful toxins, the very same toxins that Hendery’s lab was responsible for getting rid of.

It was ironic, but now your father was happy that the killer was identified.

People no longer went missing.

All cases were closed.

Except for one, however.

Hendery’s body was never found.

[cerealmonster15]

wait jamil/azul/riddle? 👀 im intrigued

fjjkfdasjkdfjkljkldfjklkljd yes i felt compelled to meme them,, bc i love them,,,

listen [takes ur face in my hands] LISTEN TO ME!!! i just think theyre NEAT!!! i'll yell under the cut in Detail bc ill probably get Rambly

so. unless youre new here i probs dont need to explain the jamil/azul part LOL [but i mean... i WILL.... i CAN... im always locked and loaded to scream about those two l o l jfdlks] [gestures to second half of book 4 and a few scenes early book 5] [gestures to jamils lab coat vignette + azuls PE vignette] [gestures to jamils masterchef/cullinary crucible vignette which isnt in engtwst yet] [gestures to a brief but really funny scene in book 6] [gestures to a brief scene in floyd's ceremony robes vignette] god when will jamil be a buddy for one of azuls cards [it's floyd that buddys azuls PE card even tho hes not in that story lol]. WHEN will they have a duo SSR attack. i will lose my mind the day that they do, mark my words.

riddle/azul is something ive lowkey always liked but it's grown a lot more recently. riddle honestly is just SO funny with any of the fish trio kldsjf. but like, he and azul are each other's dorm outfit card duo partner, and wayyyy back in the prologue theyre the ones that team up and chase grim down when he's running loose. they both respect each other's skills/intellect, like im p sure in that prologue when someone was like "oh riddle good work with grim" he was like "no, that was due to azuls quick thinking" [or maybe azul said it about riddle, idr lol]

and, i wont get into details/spoilers since neither of these are out in engtwst, but the second halloween event and book 6 both showed that riddle and azul see each other as rivals / respect each other, but also love to bully each other kjlfsdjklfjkdslfjdsj. got there are so many good moments between them in those stories. they spend a lot of time together in book 6 especially, so that's had them on my mind again more often, and i cant wait to play them when they reach engtwst :'D

and then jamil/riddle kinda have that 'no nonsense' vibe about them. like on one hand, i know jamil expressed empathy with trey once [a vignette story but i forget which one - treys ceremony robes MAYBE?] bc the two of them have housewardens that are a handful LOL rip riddle, BUT!!! there's also a vignette [pulls out my phone actually i cant remember which one LOL]

ok yea i was right lmao , riddle's PE uniform story has jamil like "oh hi, thanks riddle for babysitting kalim" and riddles like "no problem, you deserve a break sometimes" [rip kalim who's just like :D???? huh???] anyway also rereading that reminded me that jamil also in that one manages to diffuse the situation of riddle almost getting mad at kalim, by shutting kalim up and being like "hey riddle since youre so good at flying can you. do that. can u show us right now please" and then he does and kalim and jamil are like "damn hes real good at flying" and it's CUTE!! i mean, calculated moves on jamils part l o l but i still think it's sweet he's acknowledging riddles skill and had the ability to handle riddle's temper pretty smoothly.

ALSO riddle and jamil both bicker with azul a lot and i just think that's a funny thing they have in common fkdljfdklsj i love joking with people that theyre the anti fish alliance, two Red Dorm Boys that are Bothered By Fish Boys. and YET. it'd be cute if they held hands with fish boys 😌 and each other 😌 jkldfsfjl

ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!! i am pppppretty sure it's been said in a few different instances that octavinelle and scarabia, and possibly one or both of them + with heartslabyul, are like test score rivals usually. riddle himself i believe is like top of his year in every academic subject or something. azul and jamil are also shown and stated to be Very Smart as well, and i just want the three of them to be rivals so bad post book 4 when jamil is Unleashed lol.

also riddle and jamil are just 2 of my top 5 fave characters in twst SO. i think about them a lot. begrudgingly azuls probably also in the top 10 with the tweels bc theyre funny 😒😔😤but im mad about it LOL. god. i did not like the fish boys at all when i started twst but theyre just so fucking funny all the time. and i do love comedic potential so the fact that jamil and riddle are 2 characters that Get Annoyed with azul is Very Funny for me. i think they should unionize in their polycule jkfldfjsdlkj

okay okay okay im gonna stop here or else i will keep adding things Forever BYE!!!!!!!!!!

[ragingpancake]

Lietuenant Colonel Idiot And The Kastat Root Part 2

Part 1

The first thing John is aware of when he starts to come to is the quiet beeping of machines. He knows that that’s never a good sign but he feels floaty and warm so he has a hard time caring about what exactly landed him in the infirmary this time. He opens his eyes slowly, blinking against the overhead light, dim as it was in the moment but he doesn’t realize he’s made a noise until Teyla and Ronon quickly come into his line of vision. “Hi,” he manages, voice hoarse with disuse, and you know, probably from the tube they’d shoved down his throat to anesthetize him when Carson had cut him back open to clean him up a little. “Where’s… what happened?” He has a vague memory of a stomachache and of screaming but the pain meds they have him on makes it hard to think. It also makes it hard to sleep, so when Teyla tells him gently that he should go back to sleep and they’ll fill him in later, he doesn’t argue. He just closes his eyes and lets the darkness return.

-- It happens like that a couple of times before John finally, truly, wakes up. He thinks that it’s probably the pain that does it, that pulls him back to the land of the lucid, as Beckett has started weaning him off of the good stuff. He doesn’t remember much from those quick bursts of consciousness, but he does remember that while he’s seen Teyla and Ronon every time, he hasn’t once seen Rodney. Where’s Rodney? “Aye, Colonel,” Carson greets, leaning over as he adjusts John’s nasal cannula, Teyla and Ronon just visible over his shoulder. “Welcome back t’the land of the livin’, lad. How’re ya feelin’ this morning?” “Where’s Rodney?” He doesn’t miss the way Carson’s face shifts, just for a moment, nor does he miss the look shared by Teyla and Ronon. Something sits painfully in his gut at that and for one brief, horrible moment, he’s afraid that something happened to Rodney, something off-world, because Rodney was always here when he woke up, and-- “Settle down now,” Carson admonishes gently, and John is embarrassed to realize that the beeping on his heart rate monitor has sped up. “Rodney’s down in the labs, that’s all. He’s alright. The only one y’need to be worryin’ about now is yourself.” “How much do you remember?” Ronon asks and John can tell by the look on Teyla’s face that she’s not pleased at the question. It had been a routine mission, right? M3-X982, the Plesians, according to the ancient database. Not so routine if you ended up here, his brain reminds him and okay, fair enough. He takes a second and tries to think through the brain fog he always associates with the good drugs. He remembers the almost meatloaf and the bad jokes told by Plesia’s leader, Korom. He remembers the heat--. No. Not heat. The fever and the stomachache and--. Screaming. Hoarse screams, begging them to stop killing him, for Ronon to let him go, for Teyla to help him. And Rodney… Rodney, holding the dagger looking very much on the edge of a panic attack as he sliced through John’s skin, flaying him open. “Your appendix nearly ruptured,” Carson supplies, voice more gentle now. “Rodney recognized the signs fairly quickly but the doctor in Plesia was ill-equipped to operate.” “Doctor McKay very likely saved your life, John,” Teyla says, a fact she’s tried to get through to Rodney since their return. “Aye,” Carson agrees. “We had t’put ya under again to clean up a bit of infection and to right some suturin’, but he did bloody well considerin’ the circumstances.” “Then why… why isn’t he here?” Because no one has actually told him that much, but John can probably guess why. Guilt is a hell of a thing and John knows in an instant that he would’ve never wanted the roles reversed, would’ve never have wanted to have to--. “I need to talk to him,” and he’s not exactly thrilled with how desperate he sounds but he really doesn’t care right. He needs to talk to Rodney, needs to seehim, to tell him he did good. He starts pulling at all the leads and wires and Ronon is there again, a firm hand on his shoulder, urging him back down. “Let me talk to him first,” he says and even Teyla raises an eyebrow at that. Ronon isn’t exactly known for his uh, gentle nature, but when she meets John’s eyes, she gives him the slightest of nods. “Tell him to get his ass in here, or I’m gonna come find him myself,” John warns, but there’s no heat. The slight exertion has left him very nearly panting through a wave of pain. “I’ll be sure to pass on the message,” he says and without anything further, Ronon is gone. -- Rodney McKay isn’t known for his silence. He knows he’s a loud, obnoxious, abrasiveman even on his best day and yet ever since they’d returned from Plesia, he hadn’t been able to muster up the strength to even so much as raise his voice. It’s unnerving his scientists, he knows, but he doesn’t care. Mostly, he keeps to himself and keeps working, stopping only long enough for the occasional power nap and to replenish his supply of power bars. He’s just finished the aforementioned nap when Ronon finds

him, trudging back down to the laps to continue his work on the ancient device they’d found some time ago. He’s hoping that with enough tweaking, it can be used to send a patient into something sort of a temporary stasis, long enough to get them back through the Stargate where an actual fucking medical team can--. “McKay,” Ronon calls, but Rodney doesn’t stop. “Little busy, Chewie,” he calls over his shoulder but it lacks the usual McKay bite. “Sheppard’s awake.” Rodney does stop for that, but he doesn’t turn, shoulders tensing and he has to take a deep breath because he can feel something like panic trying to surge up again. “Is he--?” “Pissed? Yeah. Pissed that you weren’t there with us when he woke up.” “Well I’m sorry that some of us have actual work to do and can’t spend days--.” “You’re bein’ dumb.” Rodney whirls around at that, and he can feel the vein in his forehead throbbing in anger because he’s not--! He’s just--! “Sheppard probably wouldn’t have made it out of surgery without some major problems if we’d waited until the rain stopped. The Doc said so himself. Because of what you did, he’s got about another week of medicine and he’ll be back on his feet.” “I am not that kind of doctor,” Rodney reminds Ronon and he hates how he sounds in that moment, so, so upset. So weak. The weakest on the team, always. “You were the most qualified in that room to do what had to be done,” Ronon says and while that may actually be true, that won’t help when the nightmares come back. “You held it together better than either me or Teyla would’ve.” Rodney highly doubts that. “Listen,” Ronon says and this may be the most words Rodney’s heard him string together ever. “It sucked but it had to be done. You can’t keep beating yourself up for it.” We’ll see about that, Rodney thinks. “Thanks for the pep talk, Conan,” he says as he starts back for the labs. “You’re goin’ the wrong way. Infirmary’s that way.” Rodney doesn’t respond and he half expects Ronon to come after him, to throw him over his shoulder and haul him off to the infirmary, but a moment later, Rodney hears a quiet sigh and heavy footsteps falling away. He’s just not ready yet. -- Rodney might not be ready yet, but John’s never been the most patient person in the world. Especially not when it comes to Rodney. He’s tired, in pain, and annoyedby the time he makes it down to the labs, a trip that should’ve taken him five minutes on a good day but has taken nearly a half an hour for all the breaks he’s had to take to stop and lean against the wall. Carson’s going to have a field day when he comes back from surgery to find that John’s managed to sneak out, but he’ll just have to deal with that later. For now, the only thing he’s concerned about is Rodney. Atlantis takes pity on him and opens the door to the labs the minute she senses him approaching, allowing him to continue to hold on the wall as he slips inside and the minute he sees the slope of those shoulders in that blue shirt, any annoyance John had been feeling faded away. “Listen Teyla,” Rodney says and he sounds exasperated which leads John to believe that the Athosian has been down here plenty while he’s been holed up in the infirmary. He’s glad for that though. Means his people are taking care of each other. “I appreciate y--,” he turns and the words die in his throat. “Hi Rodney,” John greets, maybe a little dumbly and Rodney stands up so quickly that his stool topples backward. John thinks maybe he’s going to haul off and punch him, so he braces for impact, but when Rodney approaches, he grabs John’s arm and hauls it around his shoulder, giving him something else to lean against. “You’re supposed to be in the infirmary, you absolute idiot,” Rodney hisses and when he gets John seated on a stool, he moves to tap the communicator in his ear. “Rodney, wait!” And he reaches for the other, closing his hand around Rodney’s wrist. “Just… gimme a minute, okay?” Rodney hesitates, which is unusual for him. Rodney is always so sure of himself and quick to make

sure everyone knows it. Was this because of what happened on Plesia? “Listen,” John says and that’s about as far as he gets before Rodney is talking over him. “No! You listen, you, you, you irresponsible, stupid—” There’s a half a second that John wants to be offended and starts to respond in kind, but he stops himself because he realizes that Rodney needs this. That he’s been holding this in since they got back from that stupid planet. “You could have died! And not just from your stupid appendix, but your entire body could have gone into shock and you could have died! Because you were too stupid, too, too, too you to just go to the damn infirmary before we ever left!” “I know, Rodney and I’m –” “No! You don’t know. You have no idea!” He’s pacing now, wringing his hands together and John doesn’t think he’s ever seen him so upset. The thought that he’d been the one to cause that— “What if I’d been wrong, Sheppard? What if that had been for nothing? What if I’d—" “Rodney,” John says and he stands then, ignoring the way that the room spins just a little. “Listen to me, okay? I’m fine. You did everything right, and you probably saved me from a really shitty next few weeks, assuming I hadn’t died. I wouldn’t be sitting here right now if it wasn’t for you.” “But--.” “No buts,” John answers. “I’m sorry you had to do that, that I made you have to make that choice. You’re right, it was stupid to go off world without getting checked out first and I’m sorry, alright?” He reaches up, rubbing uncomfortably at the back of his neck. “I just… wanted to, you know, thank you for saving my ass out there. And to tell you that I’m really glad to know that no matter what, you’ve got my back.” And Rodney sags, all of the fight and the anger and maybe a little of the guilt too having gone out of him. “You’re… really alright?” “I’m really alright,” John promises him and this time, Rodney sags against the table, the tension leaving shoulders. “Thank God,” he breathes, and a breath later, “you owe me for this.” “Ah, there he is,” John says and he feigns annoyance, rolling his eyes. “No, no, you don’t understand. You owe me.” “I know, Rodney.” He doesn’t protest as Rodney comes around again, hauling John’s arm over his shoulder and as they begin to make their way from the science lab, back to John’s own quarters, John lets Rodney’s incessant babble wash over him. It felt good to hear it again, he realizes, even if he knows he’s never going to hear the end of this. And honestly? Well. He wouldn’t change that for anything in the world.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Bucky Barnes x Reader One Shot

A/N: Hello All! I was recently inspired to start writing again. This is my first reader insert. Thought I would give it a try. Music is a big muse for my writing so a lot of my stuff will feature, be inspired by a song, or both. This is based on Wish you were gay by Bilie Eillish. Hope you enjoy! 18+ Mature Content.

You panted as you calculated your next move. You knew Bucky was a master assassin and a super solider, but you didn’t expect him to go so hard on you just sparing together. You could barely think about your next before he was coming at you again. You had tangled with both Nat and Steve before and were pretty well able to handle yourself, but Bucky kept coming at you with relentless aggression, and you wondered who had pissed in his cheerios that morning.

You dodged another right hook and tried to sweep his legs from under him only for him to jump out of the way and come up behind you and put you in a head lock. You used all your force to rear up and flip him over onto his back on the mat. You felt some satisfaction thinking you may have finally got the upper hand, but he was up quickly and hit you square in the chest sending you toward the wall of the gym that made hard contact with your back nearly knocking the wind out of you. Bucky then pulled a small knife from his back and threw it directly at you landing right next to your head. You looked over at it stunned before looking back to Bucky.

“What the hell Barnes, weapons really? What is your problem?” You asked shocked that he would take a simple training session so far. You pushed yourself off the wall giving yourself a little momentum going in to kick him in the gut, anger swelling inside of you, but he caught your foot flipping you down onto the mat. You had thought you were finally getting through to him and building at least somewhat of a friendship. You couldn’t deny that you wished it was more, but he blew so hot and cold you never knew which way was up with him.

“My problem is you are sloppy and let your guard down to easily, you get comfortable and that will get you or a team mate killed.” He said aggressively pointing a finger in your face . You just looked at him appalled that he would think you would ever put a member of the team at risk.

“I think we are done for the day,” Nat said. Steve, Nat, and Sam had all gathered to watch as yours and Buckys training session had turned from a simple sparing match to and almost drag out straight fight.

“I agree,” you said getting up and pushing past Bucky heading to your room.

“You know she could have you on your ass in a second if she really wanted to,” you heard Steve say. It was true, you never wanted to rely on your secret weapon, this power that was inside of you. You still didn’t understand it yourself, it scared you. It was one of the deals you made with the team when you joined. It would only ever be if there was no other option. Most everyone outside the core group thought you were just a skilled fighter and spy like Natasha, skilled with a computer and combat first aid. You could stitch up just about any wound in the middle of combat if you need to. You would sometimes help Tony or Bruce in the lab tinkering here and there. You and Bruce had a quiet understanding with each other. Each having something inside of you that you didn’t quite understand and that you tried to keep at bay. You two could quietly sit together for hours. It helped knowing that there was someone like you on the team.

Bucky had joined after you, so he wasn’t privy to that personal info. You made your way back to your room and turned your shower on. You were covered in sweat and your nerves were a little on edge after having a knife throw at your head. Any other time Bucky knife skills would have been a turn on. Watching that man fight should be illegal for the things it did to you, though being on the receiving end of a sharp projectile coming towards your head was another matter all together.

You peeled off your training gear and slipped under the hot water letting it wash over you and clear away the day. Your mind and shoulders began to relax as the water ran over you. You leaned your head against the wall feeling the cool tile on your forehead, with the warmth of the water on your back it helped to center your thoughts. You kicked yourself for having, what can only be described as a crush, on the one team member who was the most closed off. You all had trauma, it almost seemed like trauma was a requirement to be an Avenger, but Bucky closed himself off from everyone, well except Steve. Maybe he was gay, you mused to yourself. You wished he was gay. That would make things easier.

You finished up your shower, wrapped yourself up in a towel and fell on to your bed exhausted. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. What time is it?” You asked. “Three in the afternoon Ms.Y/L/N. A reminder that Mr. Stark is throwing Captain Rogers birthday party tonight, your dress has been pressed and placed in your closet.” the A.I. replied. You groaned remembering the party. Why Stark had insisted on a 40’s themed party was beyond you, but he loved any excuse to through a party. You decided to get a little nap in. Determined you were going to enjoy the evening despite the days events.

You awoke up feeling refreshed, grabbed a bite from the kitchen to take back to you room and started getting ready for the party. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. Play some Glen Miller for me.” You said to get yourself in the mood for the party. There was something about 40’s music you loved and you found yourself excited at the idea of putting on some vintage glam. You were just about finished getting ready when a knock rapped at your door.

“Come on in,” you called from your bathroom thinking it was Nat dropping by to head to the party together. You came out of the bathroom fiddling with your earring and not looking up. “Thank goodness you are here Nat, i need help with this dress.” When you heard a deep cough you looked towards your door and saw Bucky standing there in a 40’s military uniform. Damn did he look good. He has cut his long hair short again and with it styled he looked more handsome than ever. You stood stunned for a brief moment in nothing but your undergarments and heels. Knowing you looked amazing and not wanting to let him get the best of you, you stood confidently and asked what he wanted. He stammered and turned around to not look you.

“I just....um....sorry....I didn’t mean to....do you wanna maybe put a robe on or something?” You rolled you eyes and walked to your bed to pick up your dress and slid it on.

“It’s safe to turn around now, “ You told him. “And since you are here be helpful and zip me up?” You tuned your back to him facing the mirror in your room. You saw him come up behind you. His metal arm resting on your hip, you could feel the coolness through you dress and it made you shiver slightly and you hoped Bucky didn’t notice. As he zipped your dress you could feel his knuckles graze your back and your breath caught in your lungs. This wasn’t the first time Bucky had touched you, shit he had just beat the shit out of you a few hours ago, but this felt more intimate. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck, and his fingers slide across the back or your neck and down your shoulder. You stared in the mirror watching him the whole time, you could have sworn you saw him smell your hair and once again you were very confused on where you stood with his man. His blue eyes locked on yours in the mirror and you thought for a brief moment you could see desire in his eyes. You wanted nothing more than to turn around and grab the collar of his jacket and pull him into a deep kiss, forget the party and stay in your room with him the whole night. Before you could act on it he backed away from you.

“What was it you needed,” you asked annoyed. This man somehow made you want him so bad, but at the same time punch his smug face.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier, the knife was uncalled for.” He said straightens himself up.

“It was a little aggressive, why are you the hardest on me?” You asked him.

“I’m hard on everyone.” He stated simply. You rolled your eyes, he wasn’t gonna give you the answers you wanted so what was the point of pressing. “Glenn Miller?” He asked pointing up motioning to the music.

“What can I say, I like old things,” you said in a somewhat flirty tone. “Was that all you needed Barnes?” You asked looking at him with a small head tilt.

“Uh...Yeah, Ill see you at the party.” Bucky said rubbing the back of his neck and heading to the door. “You look beautiful by the way, the guys would have been painting you on the side of their planes during the war.” He said with a small smile as he waked out just as Nat was walking in.

“What was that about?” She asked. “Nothing, ready to head down?” You asked checking yourself over once more.

You head down to the large two story “entertaining space” as Stark like to call it. The band was in full swing and you could hear laughter and conversation filling the room. Grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing waiter you and Nat joined the crowd saying your hellos on the way. You saw Steve, Sam, and Bucky gathered around the pool table. Laughing and drinking, all in vintage Military uniforms and you silently thanked Tony for making this a themed party because boy did those men look good.

“How is the birthday boy,” you said greeting Steve with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Having some serious deja vu,” he laughed.

“Well that’s what happens when your 97 years old,” you teased. “You boys want to play with someone who actually knows what they are doing?” You asked taking Steve’s pool que.

“Be my guest,” Steve said with a smile putting his hands up and backing away slightly.

“Wanna make it more interesting with a bet?” Sam asked.

“Always,“ you responded leaning across the pool table towards him and Bucky with a flirty smile. “What will the odds be?” You asked as you started to rack up the balls.

“We doing teams?” Sam asked.

“Sure, you three against me? That seems like fair odds.” You stated confidently.

“Oh that’s how it’s gonna be huh?” Sam asked always amused by you.

“That’s how it’s gonna be.” You said. “I win and you three have to take me for a spin on the dance floor, I don’t look like this to just sit and be pretty.”

“And what if we win?” Bucky asked finally speaking up. You laughed to yourself.

“Whatever you boys want to think up“you said as you lined up your shot breaking the balls and sinking 5 right away. “I’ll take solids.” You said as you lined up your next shot sinking three more balls before the guys even got a chance. They just stood in awe of you.

“I feel like we have been tricked,” Sam said as he lined his shot up only sinking one ball before missing a shot. You knew they never stood a chance against you. Years of hanging in a bar with your alcoholic father had given you more practice than you would ever need. You enjoyed this though. Hanging with the guys and laughing as you made easy work of the pool table. “Eight ball left top corner, “ you said leaning over the pool to line up you last shot, you glanced over your shoulder to see that Bucky was checking you out. “Like what you see soldier?” You asked as you sank the eight ball with no trouble. You turned around to see Bucky slightly blushing and trying to avoid eye contact with you as Sam teased him slightly.

“Well boys i think we have been had,” Steve said offering his arm to you. “Care for a dance?” He asked.

“Absolutely old man,” you said and let him lead you to the dance floor. The music was lively as Steve spun you around the dance floor. You can’t remember the last time you were having this much fun, not just yourself, but the group as a whole. The superhero business didn’t exactly lend itself well to normalcy. No going out with friends or really having normal lives at all. Any attachments where a liability and a possible target for anyone trying to get to you. You were lucky you didn’t really have any family to speak of anymore. Except you guess the people around you now and you were thankful for them. You made your way over to the bar after dancing with Steve, grabbing your favorite cocktail you started to make your way around the room, saying hellos here and there and making small talk with some of the other guest. Rhodey telling one of his War Machines stories that you had heard ten times before but the locals always found them amusing. Tony and Bruce having a debate over something. Nat, Clint, and Agent Hill, enjoying their drinks and laughing. You assumed about one of Clints kids since he was showing pictures on his phone. You smiled to yourself as you continue to scan the room, your eyes eventually landing on Bucky. He was staring at you from across the room as he sipped a bourbon. He had a not so amused look on his face, but a hand wrapping around your backside pulled your attention away as some random, fairly drunk man tried to ask you to dance. You politely declined, removing his hand from your body and walking away. Bucky you noticed had disappeared from his previous spot. You found Wanda and Vision cozied up together and sought familiar faces in hopes the man got the idea and left you be.

“Y/N you have been getting quite the attention tonight,” Wanda commented as you perched yourself on the arm of the chair opposite them. You blushed and smiled.

“Not from anyone that matters,” you joked, or at least you hoped it came across as a joke. You knew who you really wanted attention from.

“Heard training got a little intense today, but you seem to have recovered,” Vision commented.

“A little misunderstanding.” You said.

“ I’ve come to uphold my end of the wager,” Sam said offering his hand to you. You finished your drink and placed it on the tray of a passing server and let Sam led you to the dance floor. “So how many men did you swindle out of some pocket change with your impressive pool skills?” Sam asked over the music.

“My fair share.” You smiled remembering how you use to hustle men out of their money to get by. You had been on your own since you were 17 and only had so many skills at the time.

“You could have warned us,” Sam joked with you.

“You never asked, and where would the fun be in that anyway.”

“Steve knew didn’t he?” Sam asked.

You laughed and nodded. Steve had found you once playing by yourself on a night you couldn’t sleep. You had just gotten back from a particular grueling mission and were having a hard time readjusting. It became a small tradition for you guys after that night. After every mission, once everyone had settled back in, you and Steve would find yourself around the pool, play a few rounds. He would tell you stories of growing up, you never much opened up about your past, mostly just kept asking him question to keep the topic of conversation squarely on him. Steve was the big brother you wished you had growing.

The night continued on, you had a few more drinks, a few more dances, and were really starting to feel relaxed and happy, your face almost hurting from all the smiling you had been doing. Steve and Sam were swapping stories with some old WWII vets, the other core members of the group had started to gather closer together. You were surprised to see that Thor had stopped by. He wasn’t on earth often. He tipped his drink in your direction as you leaned against the bar, content in people watching. You smiled and returned the gesture. He motioned to the small flask in his hand and back at you and you laughed and shook your head no. Never had you had such a bad hang over as when you trusted him with a drink. You felt a cold hand touch your arm and turned, a little to quickly for how many drinks you had had, and lost your balance slightly. Luckily Bucky had such quick reflexes to catch you before you made a fool of yourself. You were pressed very close to him his face nears yours.

“Guess I’m the last one who hasn’t held their end of the bargain yet.”

“I didn’t think you were ever going to” you said coolly.

“A deal is a deal right.” You nodded and made your way to the dance floor, where the music had been more up beat when you danced with Steve and Sam, a slower song began to play. Bucky pulled you in close, his vibranium arm wrapped around your waist as he took your right hand in his. You were so close you could swear you felt his heart beat. He smelled so wonderful, warm and welcoming, a smell that made you feel safe and tingle all over. You swayed along to the music in comfortable silence, looking up at him you noticed he had been staring at you. You couldn’t help but stare into his eyes. You could stare into them for the rest of your life and not feel like it was long enough. You were mentally kicking yourself for having these feelings for someone you were sure didn’t feel the same way about you. But as you stared into his eyes you thought again you saw desire there, your faces just a breath away, it wouldn’t take much to reach up and kiss him. You thought he may have been thinking the same thing. That was until the song ended and he quickly let you go and walked away without another word leaving you in the middle of the dance floor alone and confused.

“Well that was interesting” Nat said coming up behind, startling you.

“Damn it, Nat don’t do that.” You scolded her.

“I thought he was going to kiss you for a minute.” She mused as you walked over to join the rest of the group of avengers that had gathered.

“Right, after he nearly killed me this afternoon.” You joked back with her.

“He is a hard one to read, I’ll give you that.” She handed you a drink and you took it.

“Do you think there is something going on between him and Steve?” You asked which caused her to almost spit her drink out from laughter.

“If Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are gay then I’m the Queen of England,” Nat responded laughing and shaking her head.

“Well they are just so close and I never see any of them with women,” you continued quietly with her so the others didn’t overhear.

“I can assure you Steve is not gay,” and she sipped her drink giving you a sly smile.

“Natasha Romanoff are you sleeping with Captain America?” You asked in fake shock.

She gave you a wink and smiled. Good for them, you thought. If Steve had a best friend other than Bucky it was Nat.

“What are you two conspiring about over there?” Tony asked pulling your attention back to the group.

“Nothing,” you both responded at the same time causing the group to laugh.

“Well Rogers, did I throw you a great party or what?” Tony gloated

“I have to admit, tonight was much needed.” Steve allowed Tony some small satisfaction. The evening had been much needed. Somehow the conversation turned to odd talents that the group had, other than what they brought to the team. Sam talked about his excellent cooking skills, Nat could play the piano, Vision had learned some magic tricks which you found amusing.

“I already know Y/N secret talent, she is a pool shark, girl is a seriously hustler” Sam said.

“Actually that isn’t my only talent. I used to sing, way back when.” You told the group.

“Oh I have got to hear this then,” Tony said getting up.

“No Tony, really, I haven’t sang in front of a large group in years.” You pleaded.

“Oh come on, live a little,” Nat nudged you and the others agreed. You sighed looking at the group in front of you. Again your eyes found Bucky. They seemed to always be searching Bucky out. Again he was at a distance, sipping his drink. Some girl gabbing away at him but his eyes were on you. It riled something up inside of you and you stood.

“Alright, you guys better enjoy this,” you said.

“Excellent,” Tony exclaimed rubbing his handing together and walking you to the stage. “Ok everyone listen up. We have a treat for you this evening. A singing Avenger. Not to be confused with a singing telegram. So everyone give it up for Y/N”. The room clapped as Tony made his way off stage. You talked to the band leader and they know the song you wanted to do.

"Baby, I don't feel so good", six words you never understood "I'll never let you go", five words you'll never say

You began to sing your body moving with the beat of the music.

I laugh along like nothing's wrong, four days has never felt so long If three's a crowd and two was us, one slipped away I just wanna make you feel okay

You looked straight at Bucky

But all you do is look the other way I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay I just kinda wish you were gay Is there a reason we're not through? Is there a 12-step just for you? Our conversation's all in blue 11 "heys" (Hey, hey, hey, hey) Ten fingers tearin' out my hair Nine times, you never made it there I ate alone at seven, you were six minutes away

You were really starting to enjoy yourself and had forgotten how much you liked to perform.

How am I supposed to make you feel okay When all you do is walk the other way? I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay

You motioned for the crowd to join you on the next line

I just kinda wish you were gay

And they all joined except Bucky who stared at you with an equally amused and annoyed look on his face.

To spare my pride To give your lack of interest, an explanation Don't say I'm not your type Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation I'm so selfish But you make me feel helpless, yeah And I can't stand another day Stand another day I just wanna make you feel okay But all you do is look the other way, hmm I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay I just kinda wish you were gay I just kinda wish you were gay I just kinda wish you were gay

You finished the song to loud applause and raised your glass in a silent toast with a smug grin on your face.

“Alright everyone, give it up for Y/N. And I would just like to say if being an Avenger doesn’t work out, you will certainly have a career in entertainment and I will take full credit for your discovery.” Tony said. “I would like to thank everyone for coming out to Captain Rogers birthday party. You all look amazing, please continue to enjoy the open bar and music and don’t forget to tip.” Tony finished before the band continued to play on. The group greeted you with another round of applause and cheers.

“Thank you, thank you,” you said giving a small curtsy. “I think I will end the evening on a high note and turn in.” The group protested but you were very ready to head back to you bed, the endorphins wearing off. You made you way back down to your room, the halls dark and quite, a vast difference from the party going on 5 floors above you.

“That was quite the performance,” a voice whispered in your ear and your fight instincts kicked in and you grabbed the head of whoever was behind you, flipping them over you and on to their back, and placing a heeled foot on their chest, ready to fight.

“Jesus, Barnes, do you have a death wish.” You asked seeing the shocked face of Bucky looking up at you from the ground. You stepped back and helped him up.

“Where did that strength come from,” he asked dusting himself off. You just shrugged. The power inside you had just swelled, and you cursed yourself for not having more control over it.

“Maybe don’t sneak up on a person in the dark,” You fired back at him going to walk around him towards your door when he grabbed your arm stopping you.

You looked from his arm to him, an eyebrow raised on your face. He stepped closer to you, wrapping your waist with his metal arm pulling you in and pressing your body against his. It all happened so fast you barely had time to realize his lips crashing into yours. He dropped your arm wrapping you fully in his as he deepened the kiss, running his tongue across you lip, urging you mouth to open. Your arm ran up his chest feeling his muscles under your fingers. They made their way to his hair and you buried your fingers in it, your mouth welcoming him. Your heart pounding in your chest and a warmth spreading over your body. He lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around him not breaking your kiss. He pushed you against the door to your room, dropped an arm fiddling with the door handle to get it open. It finally sprung open and Bucky carried you inside, closing the door with his foot. He placed you back down on your feet, still kissing you as he got rid of his jacket, and shoes. Your fingers started to undo the buttons of his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders exposing his bare chest to you. You allowed yourself moment to take him in and began to kiss down his neck to his chest, your fingers exploring his torso. His warm skin, running across the scars where his arm had been replaced. You placed light kisses over them, thinking maybe you could kiss away the pain he had endured all those years. You took his left hand in yours and brought it up and placed a small kiss on the palm of his hand while looking him in the eyes, there way so much behind them, longing, sadness, and something primal that made you weak in the knees. His hand snaked behind your neck and pulled you in for another deep kiss. This one was not as urgent, it was tender, it told you more about the man standing in front of you than any conversation ever could. He poured all of himself into that kiss, the boy Steve knew growing up, the soldier that was captured and tortured, the broken man that had been on the run and alone, and now the man that had found a family and a home again. A man still struggling every day to find himself again. He pulled back from you and looked in your eyes asking for permission. You gave him a small nod and turned around. He unzipped your dress and it fell to the floor. His hands roamed up your body feeling your curves as he kissed your neck, a hand slipping into your bra and tugging at your nipple sending a shock wave straight to your already wet folds as you let out a gentle moan. You turned around and laid yourself back on the bed and Bucky took you in never wanting anything more in his whole life. He made quick work of removing his pants before crawling on top of you and capturing your mouth in another passionate kiss. His body felt so good and right on top of yours. His hand slipped behind your back undoing your bra and helping you to toss it to the side as he took a breast into his mouth, his tongue swirling around and teasing your nipple. You could feel the scuff of his five o’clock shadow against the softness of your skin and your whole body was on fire for this man. His free hand traveled down your body and slipped into your panties. Running a finger through your wet folds. You hadn’t been touched like this is so long, you arched into his hand, and moaned. He kissed you again as his finger continued to explore, his thumb slipping over your clit as he slide a finger inside of you and then another. You were coming undone quickly. He took his time drawing his fingers in and out of you, your body matching the rhythm of his movements. You could feel an orgasm building, the intense feeling almost to much to handle. You wanted to cum so badly but not as badly as wanting to feel Bucky inside of you. You grab his arm, still his movement and he looked at you confused.

“ Do you want me to stop” he asked concerned.

“ No,” you said in a breathy manor. “ I want to feel you inside of me, I need to feel you,” you said sitting up and pushing him down onto his back. You removed the last of his clothing before removing your panties. You stroked the hard length of his cock before positioning yourself over him. You took him in slowly, enjoying each second of feeling him fill you. You could hear him moan and that alone almost sent you over the edge. You leaned down and kissed him before slowly moving your hips back and forth, feeling him deep inside of you, hitting just the right spot. You continue the slow pace, taking your time. Placing your hands firmly on his chest, sitting up you continued to ride him, his hands roamed your body, one moved to your hips urging your movements, the other massaging your breast and tugging on your nipple. You orgasm building anew.

“ Look at me,” he said and as your eyes met his you came undone. Your orgasm hitting you, taking over your whole body. The sensation was overwhelming. Your lips crashed into his as he lifted you and rolled you on to your back, not even breaking the contact between. He held you tightly as he began to move in and out of you, his movements keeping your orgasm going. You didn’t know how much more you could take. Your nails racking across his back, feeling his muscles flex under them.

“James,please.” Escaped your lips as you felt another orgasm building. Something that had never happened to you before. Your words seemed to urge him on as his movements became faster and deeper.

“ Say it again,” he growled into your neck.

“Please,” you moaned

“No my name,” he responded kissing you.

“James,” you whispered against his lips. It didn’t take long for him to come undone inside of you setting off another intense orgasm.

You laid there, connected, breathless, heart pounding, bodies covered in a thin layer of sweat. Bucky rolled off of you, you shivered, the absence of his warmth left you open to the coolness of the night air. He pulled you in close, as he moved the bedspread to cover the two of you. Being wrapped in his arms, your lust satiated, your body relaxed in the afterglow, you felt how tired you were. Bucky placed a kiss on your forehead.

“It’s ok, sleep doll.” He whispered to you. You smiled to yourself. He was definitely not gay, which he proved to you again in the morning. And many days after that.

[interstellarflowers]

Professor Parker Ch. 1| Professor, Peter Parker x Student, Reader

a/n this fic doesn’t follow the marvel cinematic universe but assume that peter has been what he’s been through with the exception that tony lived, and bruce is still bruce, sorry but i just can't deal with endgame hulk/bruce rn emotionally or mentally. im sorry nat is still dead but dw i'll actually treat it with respect unlike endgame like goddamn where was her funeral, am i right? the stages of grief thing they did was interesting though. im sorry i digress, this is set in nyc (because heyo im a new yorka) and the avengers/stark tower is still a thing, peter is fucking traumatized and has turned kind of cold as a result. this fic may contain a smut chapter in the future? not sure yet, where this fic goes depends on the feedback, thanks for reading also sorry im not the proudest of this first chapter so ill probably edit it but promise itll only improve from here just not in the best mental state rn

University life wasn’t exactly everything that you imagined it to be. There was hardly time to do anything that people claimed was good about coming to university. The parties, the epic heartbreaks, and romances, they were just nowhere to be seen. In fact, there was nothing particularly extravagant about your experience thus far. You went to class, studied, and went to your internship. Your internship was probably the most exciting thing about your life at the moment, you were lucky to be accepted into the Stark Industries student internship, the company paid college tuition and only required around twenty hours of lab work a week, you couldn’t complain. Of course, the exciting part of the whole ordeal was the name attached to it, “Stark,” not that you had ever met him, but it was nice to have a unique feature like that in such an impressive student body.

So here you were on the first day of your third year of university. You lived off-campus, about a five-minute walk from the Stark Tower, but a twenty-minute subway ride to your campus. However, having an 882 square foot space to yourself was really nothing you could truly complain about despite the distance. The studio apartment being yet another benefit reaped from Stark Industries. Thank you Tony Stark, the unseen benevolent God in your life.

Typically you would start your mornings off quietly and in no rush, a shower, a cup of coffee, maybe some studying before heading off to your campus, but your phone had other plans for you today. Instead of your alarm going off like it was supposed to, you were woken up by the sound of a particularly loud car horn, and oh how grateful you were for that. As soon as you were jolted awake you shifted to grab your phone and turned it over to see an alarming 8:40am glaring back at you.

Holy shit. You were late.

You scrambled out of bed nearly face planting several times in your hurry to get dressed and only barely ran out the door with everything you needed at 8:47am.

By the time you managed to get to the subway and clamor onto the right train it was already 8:55am. Out of breath and panicking, you considered your options. You could explain after class, you could shoot an email, there were a plethora of things you could do but none of them seemed to justify being late as a third-year to a level 500 class. You had googled all of your professors while registering for classes as was common practice. You couldn’t find a RateMyProfessor on Professor...Parker? You were pretty sure it was Professor Parker, but you do remember seeing on the STEM department page that he was currently a Ph.D. student, so you could only hope that as a fellow student he would be at least a little understanding towards your lateness.

You stood outside of the lecture hall huffing and trying to catch your breath at 9:32am, psyching yourself up, you pushed open the door to the class and attempted to go unnoticed. The class was in a lecture hall despite being only composed of around thirty students, so if you were lucky maybe nobody would even see-

“Ms.(y/l/n), I presume?.” Shit.

“Professor Parker?” Shit.

“You are aware that class starts at 9am, and not 9:30am, would this be correct Ms.(y/l/n)?”

“Yes, Professor, it’s just that I had an emergency.” The lying route. Not exactly the highlight of your academic career.

“I regret to inform you that I only take valid excuses Ms.(y/l/n), please take a seat, and next time, don’t bother disrupting class halfway through the lesson.” Fuck. You mustered a quiet “ok,” and a small nod before escorting yourself to the back of the room, thirty-something eyes following you until you sat down.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the class, it was just too embarrassing, time moved forward but you couldn’t help but be stuck on what had just happened. For the first ten minutes after sitting down you felt like dropping out of the whole class out of sheer fucking humiliation. This was of course before you reminded yourself that this class was a requirement to graduate in your field of study. You quietly bargained with yourself before sighing quietly and settling on the conclusion that Professor Parker was just a dick. A dick who certainly didn’t deserve the satisfaction of you switching out of his class. If he wanted to be like that, you decided, you would simply return the favor.

“I know, Ms.(y/ln), why don’t you tell us DeBroglie’s equation?”

“With pleasure, Professor Parker.” Yeah, you’d return the favor alright.

“Ms.(y/l/n), you stay.” Fuck that. You looked the other way and feigned ignorance as you kept making your way towards the door. About to leave, the door shut on your face.

“What the fuck!” You jumped before turning around and you felt your face heat up.

“Ms.(y/l/n), please refrain from using profanities in my classroom.”

“I’m sorry Professor Parker. I was just startled.”

“Mhm,” he took his glasses off and laid them on his desk, “Just don’t do it in the future Ms.(y/l/n).”

“Of course. My name is (y/n), by the way, Professor Parker, you can just call me that, actually, I prefer that people refer to me by (y/n).”

“Rest assured, I’m aware of your name, Ms.(y/l/n). My name is Peter, but you can continue to call me Professor Parker.” You could have sworn that you saw a ghost of a smirk on his lips. He knew what he was fucking doing, asshole. You held back from rolling your eyes into the back of your head.

“Of course, Professor Parker.”

“As you know, Ms.(y/l/n), I did request that you stay after class.”

“Oh? I sincerely apologize Professor Parker, I really didn’t hear you.”

“I’m sure, Ms.(y/l/n).” Fucking. Dick.

“Well, what exactly did you want Professor Parker? I do have another class soon.” Professor Parker narrowed his eyes at you in obvious distaste before reaching behind himself into a bin underneath his desk and pulling out a stack of papers,

“These are the handouts you missed from the beginning of the class. Textbook requirements, syllabus...Crucial information to have if you care to succeed in my class Ms.(y/l/n).” So coldly, so maliciously, Professor Parker placed the stack into your arms.

“I take my work very seriously, Ms.(y/l/n), I do my part as your professor so I only have the simple request that my students do the same.” You nodded feeling your face heat up again.

“Of course, Professor Parker, it won’t happen again,” you said with a tightlipped smile.

“Mhm,” Professor Parker turned around and began shuffling around some paper and without giving you a second glance said, “You are dismissed.” You nodded and hurriedly made your way out of his classroom. Of course, you had lied. You didn’t have another class until late in the afternoon. So you called your coworker instead,

“Hey, Harvey.”

“(y/n).”

“Wow, okay, don’t get too excited.”

“Sorry, just woke up.”

“Tsk, the early bird gets the worm, Harvey.”

“I don’t want a worm.”

“Fuck you. I’m headed to the lab, can I expect you?”

“Yeah, yeah.” You had been working with Harvey for around four years now, he was quite the impressive specimen, having attended MIT and graduating Summa Cum Laude at age 20 was no easy feat, he was closer to Tony Stark than you would ever get, he was quite personable, and you couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking. You’d never tell him that though, he didn’t need another ego boost. Besides, you had some connections of your own.

“Hey, (y/n).”

“Banner!”

“Can we expect Harvey today?”

“Honestly, not sure.” You both knowingly smiled at each other before you made your way over to what he was working on,

“Do you ever get bored here?”

“With you and the other idiot always running around? How could I?” You laughed,

“No, seriously, like wouldn’t you rather be doing nerd shit with Tony or something? Isn’t it a little tiresome babysitting us?”

“Tiring? Maybe sometimes, but not nearly as tiring as doing ‘nerd shit’ with Tony. He’s exhausting,” Bruce smiled at his own joke, “I don’t mind playing babysitter at all kid.” He fiddled with the handle of a mug that read, “Don’t be so Na Cl,” which you had gotten him a year back as a joke, but he still used it.

You really loved Bruce for all he was. Since losing your family back in 2012 during the battle in NYC, you didn’t really have any familial figures. But since landing this internship you found yourself with a parental figure again, and you would never be able to put into words how much it meant to you, so you didn’t. Besides, you didn’t want him to feel pressured about it, especially after everything he had been through himself. Frying half your body and losing the love of your life in such a short span of time was really nothing less than horrifying. Yet, here he was, smiling, laughing...You loved him for it.

“First day of junior year? How was that?”

“Shit.”

“Huh?” Bruce stopped tinkering with the device in his hands and looked over at you, “I’ve never heard of a course being too hard for (y/n) (y/l/n), what is it? Aerospace? Quantum?”

“No, just one giant dick.”

“Pardon-”

“My professor, he’s a fucking asshole.”

“Ah, I see. If he’s really harassing you (y/n), I don’t mean to overstep, I really think we should alert administration, what’s his name?” Bruce took a sip of his coffee.

“Professor Parker,” Bruce choked on his coffee, “Oh my God, Bruce, are you okay?”

“Yeah-” he said, still coughing, “Just a little too strong.”

“Okay, are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bruce caught his breath, “What did he do kid?”

“He’s just a dick that’s all.”

“You sure you don’t want me to do something about it?”

“Yeah, it’s fine, I don’t know what you could do anyways. Thank you though.”

“Actually, you’d be surprised.”

Sitting at your desk stressing over school work at 3am, it was nothing out of the ordinary for you. Everything appeared ordinary. The ordinary cup of tea, the familiar glow of your computer, and a morning chill creeping through your window. It was all so breathtakingly normal until there was a rap on your window. You took an earbud out of your ear, certain you were just hearing things, you looked to your window. Holy shit.

You opened your window wide so that he could crawl in.

“(y/n)?”

“Mr.Spiderman.” Still too in shock to fully process the situation you started to take in the scene in front of you,

“Please, it’s just Spiderman.”

“Oh-Oh my God, what happened?” Head to toe the suit seemed to have blood seeping through, tears in the body of the suit revealed gashes and a bullet wound.

“Bad guys. I know this guy-said he knew a medical student close by, you are (y/n)? Right?”

“Y-Yeah, but I’m really just a student, I’m not really a prof-”

“This guy, he said you might as well be.”

“I don’t know Mr.Spiderman, really, maybe I could take you to the hospital though.”

“-Spiderman, it’s just Spiderman, listen, (y/n), you know I can’t go to a hospital, it would ruin this whole secret identity thing I got going on here, and this guy, he’s probably the smartest guy I know, so if he says you can handle it, you can.” You swallowed and nodded,

“Yeah-” you wring your hands together, “Yeah-Sorry, let me go get my first aid kit.”

[nieladasdenani]

The daylight’s fading slowly (but time with you is standing still)

So, months later I finally was able to finish the prompt @mooooonshine gave me: The Corrs - Breathless + Summer Vibes. I hope it holds to your expectations, as it was erased twice accidentally! I love the Corrs, actually, so maybe that helped keep trying. You can also read this in AO3, if you rather.

Lena Luthor hates the beach.

She's aware that it's an unpopular opinion. And it's not just because standing in the shore of vast expanses of water trigger some trauma. It's not to be edgy either. Lena can actually appreciate the gentle breeze coming from the ocean, the calming sound of the waves. But she's not a fan of the Sun burning her skin, unless she's cocooned under a palm tree wearing a giant hat and shawl. Or the intense heat that makes the sand stick to her skin. Or the noise of too many people having too much fun, everyone trying to impose their respective playlists.

And yet, here she is. Dragged by her traitorous best friends with a flimsy excuse of getting back out there, Lena. So, it's been a while since she's last had casual sex. But less time since she had sex, though. She just ended a two-year relationship, and it's in no hurry to get back out there. Jack is still a dear friend, and it was her who ended things, it's not that she's opposed to casual sex, or one-night-stands, it's a matter of respect for the relationship they had.

"It's been a month, Lena. I think you mourned your kill long enough." Andrea's deadpan comment reaches Lena's internal ramblings, as if her friend could read her mind. She supposed she can, after all those years of friendship. Which is also why Lena glares at her openly and without remorse.

"No. Don't start, you two. We're here to have some fun, and enjoying a lovely day at the beach. We deserve a break!" Sam's always been the soft one out of the three of them. "It's also a good opportunity to meet new people!" Now Sam's throwing an unfairly sweet, hopeful smile at Lena, which in turn make her frown harder.

"Et tu, Brute?"

"Now, there's no need to be so dramatic, Lena. I'm not saying you have to, we're here to have a good time as friends, and if it happens, then, great!" Sam has the audacity to grin, and Lena is appalled to find herself softening in the face of her friends' love. Lena's not about to show this, though. Especially not when Andrea is smirking smugly at her, as if she knows she's won.

"Why are you smiling as if you enjoy spending time at a packed beach?" Lena fires at Andrea, who shrugs:

"I like it just fine. More so when I can eye such delicious, half naked snacks." She says this while pointedly looking in the general direction of a very tall, very handsome dark skinned man, who's smiling at a much shorter but equally gorgeous dark haired woman. Lena's about to point out how the pair seem to be a couple to Andrea, when Sam can't contain her enthusiasm any longer and explodes with an expressive:

"Who wants to get in the water!?"

Neither Lena, nor Andrea startle at the exuberant proposition, they both acknowledge it, however, with a decline. Though, Andrea promises to join her in a future immersion. The rejection doesn't affect Sam in the slightest, who skips the short distance that separates her from the ocean and dives head-first into the water, disappearing from view.

The attention of the remaining pair is grabbed by loud exclamations of joy coming from a group of people that are settled a short distance from them, only to discover that tall and handsome and short and gorgeous are part of the neighbors, and the actual reason they are whooping. Lena imagines it's because they come bearing alcohol and snacks.

"It seems like your snack is already taken." If she's going to have to get through this by force, Lena might as well be annoying, perhaps it will deter her friends from future abductions to the beach.

"Are you not familiar with concept of eye candy?"

"All I'm saying is, if you're going to fantasize about a handsome man, but it turns out he has a gorgeous girlfriend, and they're displaying it so publicly it must dampen the illusion somehow." Lena shrugs, not willing to let it go.

"You said that like it's a problem. All I hear is: handsome man and gorgeous woman. I'm sure you can also appreciate this combo." Andrea directs an arched brow at her, and Lena sighs in defeat, because she sure as hell can appreciate it.

"You're incorrigible." Lena huffs out with a laugh.

"Hey, guys!" They hear Sam, and turn in time to see her waving them from near the edge where sand meets water. Her smile impossibly large as droplets drip from every inch of her. Lena instinctively waves back with a small smile, but then freezes, because right behind her friend there's a goddess.

"Oh, no." She can't help the murmur that escapes her. It's a miracle that she recovers enough, despite Andrea's pointed, mocking, laugh. Just in time for Sam and her new friend to reach them.

"This is Kara!" Sam wears a smile that would be predatory when directed at Lena if it was in anyone else's face, specially Andrea's. "We were talking, and she's inviting us to join her and her friends to spend the day here at the beach!"

"Oh, isn't that wonderful, Lena?" And sometimes, Lena truly wonders why she allowed a friendship with Andrea to bloom after they fucked in college.

"Yes, so gracious." The growl is directed at her friends, but the moment she circles back to look at Kara, Lena finds herself smiling genuinely. Not only because the girl is ridiculously beautiful and fit, but because she's sporting one of the most charismatic smiles Lena has ever been hit with in her life.

"Hi! Sam said you guys were here to have a break from life, and so are we. So I figured we could just join forces and have a good time?" She's chipper, which should be enough to save Lena from this situation, because Lena Luthor hates the beach and Lena Luthor doesn't do chipper. And yet...

"That'd be wonderful, thank you, Kara. Are you sure it won't be a problem with the rest of your group?" Lena finds herself saying.

"Oh! Not at all! They're all very friendly and welcoming. Like I told Sam, it's really not a problem."

"Lovely. I'm Andrea, by the way. This is Lena. It seems as if our dear Sam has forgotten her manners."

"Right! Sorry!" She sounds anything but. "Anyway, shall we?" She's practically jumping with excitement and hurries to carry as much of their things as she physically can. Kara then jumps in to help, despite Lena's protests.

"No, it's no problem." And god, that smile is a weapon.

Turns out they fit right into the group, mostly because said group is outstandingly welcoming, at least after some awkward introductions that served to confirm that tall and handsome (James) and short and gorgeous (Lucy) are, indeed, a couple. Lena tries to send a smug smirk Andrea's way, but her friend looks, if anything more pleased. Incorrigible.

Kara doesn't leave Lena's side, not even when she looks like she's physically ill at the prospect of not getting into the water when most of the group decides to dip together. Andrea included, which almost makes Lena openly balk at her. Kara keeps stealing glances at the friends loudly enjoying the water, so much so that even Lena is close to feel like she wants to join them, too.

"You should go. I promise I'll be here when you come back." Lena teases. Satisfied when a light blush covers Kara's lovely face. 

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! You look like you're about to turn green with envy." Lena appreciates Kara's laugh, like she's always been free to express it, and she finds herself wanting to hear it more. A lot more. Odd.

"Ok! I'll be right back! Have fun, don't let Alex scare you, she's actually a softy." And with that Kara bolts to the water as if she'll turn to sand if she's not wet promptly... Ok, maybe not the best analogy, now Lena feels like she needs to dip in cold water. Ah, Alex. The big sister. Right. She has been friendly enough, but she keeps giving Lena the side eye and Lena's afraid she may receive a shovel talk she's not sure if she's ready to face. Lena faces her with a solid, confident stare, she's a Luthor, after all.

"So," Alex starts, "how are the labs at Luthor Corp? You're awful far from Metropolis." She never leaves her stare from Lena's face, not even when she sips at her drink. Which is a problem, because even if Lena recovers well, she's sure Alex didn't miss how much her question startled her. 

"Hm, are you keeping tabs on me? What is it, agent, special agent?" Lena remembers Kara gushing about her sister's accomplishments when she introduced them, FBI.

"Doctor Danvers is fine." She says. Smug. Lena squints at her. "I'm something of a scientist myself."

"Ah, that's what Kara meant when she said you were like Scully, then." And, surprisingly, they share a fond huff of a laugh over it. So maybe there's still hope.

"Yes. I like to keep up with the latest and greatest of the scientific community as much as I can. And that seems to lately involve Luthor Corp more often than not." Oddly, Lena sees the thinly veiled compliment, she tries not to blush.

"Well, it's a passion of mine. The lab, that is." Alex hums, but adds nothing, just keeps her gaze on Lena. And are moment like these when she's grateful for Lilian, she would be squirming if it weren't for her mother. They share a few more charged stares. Then Alex sighs and drops her eyes for a moment.

"Just don't play with her, all right?" Oh, wait what? Oh, no. She thinks... No!

"We're moving the company to National City!" What? What is she doing' why is she revealing secret information to a literal stranger? "We're changing the name, too. To L-Corp." Oh my god, someone please shut her up! Now! Oh she's dead. And Alex looks completely baffled, she even takes a couple of tries to speak.

"I...Oh. Oh, ok. That's, that's great."

"You can't tell anyone, though." She's not begging, just clarifying. "Please." An afterthought.

"Sure, no problem."

"I wouldn't. I wouldn't play with her." And here Alex sends her a searching look, no doubt looking for flaws. She doesn't seem to find any, because there aren't, and because she shrugs, finally.

"All right. That's all I ask. She's a big girl, she can take care of herself. But If you break her heart I'll make you regret it."

Lilian is going to kill her. Why is she revealing corporate secrets like this? For fear of the sister of a girl she finds cute (ok, glorious)? What the fuck? Since when does she panics like this? Why does she even care to make clear to Alex she's not playing with Kara? Oh Lilian is definitely murdering her now, no matter she's the only child she has left, now that Lex went crazy. So she probably shouldn't be making fun of her brother's very serious mental illness, but she's in self-destruct mode, apparently. Oh, forget Lilian killing her! Sam and Andrea are going to mock her relentlessly. Wait, they don't have to find out! None of them. Oh, good.

"What's wrong with you?" Andrea's usually unimpressed drawl has a tint of concern. And Lena is so caught off guard by the return of the rest of the group form the water that she gapes a little. Which only makes Andrea's frown deepen.

"Nothing. What's wrong with you?" Great. Excellent comeback. Andi's eyebrows almost touch her hairline.

"What did you do?"

"Everything ok?" Kara's sweet voice carries a hint of menace, and both Lena and Andrea turn to see her in such a defensive pose it's kind of uncanny to associate it with the sunshine girl they've met. It's actually kind of hot.

"I don't know. But she looks terribly guilty." Andrea, who seems to be a little impressed herself, says while pointing her accusing finger at Lena.

"Oh! Are you ok?" And she's back to being sweet, sitting back down next to Lena and scooting closer in case she wants to share a secret... again.

"Yes. Yes, of course."

The situation is gathering the attention of everyone, and Lena is sure that she's heading towards a panic attack. But her rescue comes from the least expected place: Alex.

"It's fine. She's just trying to reconcile the fact that I'm FBI and a scientist that knows science."

Lena sends a grateful smile Alex's way, because that seemed to be enough of an explanation for everyone else. Everyone else, except Andrea, of course. Lena does her best to ignore her, which is honestly not that hard with Kara so close to her giving her all of her attention, or the years of practice Lena has in the matter of ignoring Andrea. Also because Andres has her own source of distraction, in the form of James and Lucy. The day goes by in a whirlwind of fun, Lena's loathed to admit. Until Kara's stomach actually growls.

"Yep," Alex says, "that sounds about right. How about we order some actual food before hungry hungry hippo here resorts to cannibalism?" Kara's pouting, but she's also not offering any sort of dispute either. Something Lena shouldn't find adorable, and yet...

Somehow night crawls on them, and Lena is surprised to find that she's not drunk, despite having been drinking since they joined Kara's group. Actually, now that she thinks of it, none of them are. It's probably because Kara was making sure they were all drinking water and eating regularly, the whole time. She feels a little shift in her heart.

It looks like the spell will be broken when Sam regretfully announces that she needs to pick up Ruby from her dad's place. Andrea and Lena start to get ready to go with her, but Sam adamantly refuses them, ordering them to stay and enjoy the rest of the night. That she's just going to pick up her daughter and head home anyway. They insists, even Alex offers to be the one going with Sam, which strikes Lena as odd (doesn't Alex have a girlfriend?). But Sam, for her sweet disposition is really good at being a mom and having a mom voice.

"The only thing is that you two are going to need to find a way get back. I trust our new friends to take care of that?" James is the first to scramble to placate Sam that they'll make sure Lena and Andrea get home safe.

After Sam left night was quick to fall and they group started to retire for the day. Alex received a call from her girlfriend, Brainy and Nia left for Nia’s roommate’s birthday party, Winn had “mysterious date” his friends were teasing him about the whole time.

To Lena’s utter surprise, Andrea ended up leaving with James and Lucy, sporting the smuggest of smirks. This left Lena in the sole company of one Kara Danvers. Lena is actually surprised of how good her day at the beach was, she had fun, she feels like she did make new friends, not acquaintances, but actual friends. She also learned a lot about Kara, who has no reservations in wearing her heart for all to see. Which in Lena’s life is refreshing. It’s why she can tell the blonde is nervous when she says:

“I, I could walk you?” She doesn’t word it as a question but her voice does this thing that makes it sound like one. It’s endearing. It’s disarming.

“I’d like that.” And Lena’s nervous, too. She’s just better at hiding it. She’s nervous because she really wants to fuck Kara tonight. But she truly doesn’t want Kara to be a one-night-stand, or something even more ridiculous, like a summer love. But, god, she really wants to make love to this absurdly beautiful girl. And the walk is lovely, the air is a little cooler, but mild enough they can stay in their beach clothes, it gets lovelier when Kara spots her favorite ice cream stand open and insists she introduces Lena to:

“The best ice cream ever, you’ll see.”

“I’m sure.” She is, because she’s starting to believe everything with Kara is going to be delightful, Lena’s never been more charmed in her life.

Kara ends up buying a monstrosity that’s like a sample of every flavor available in one giant cup. Lena voices her concern about the amount of ice cream, and how she doubts they’ll be able to finish it. And Kara looks at her with a genuinely offended expression. Admittedly, the ice cream is delicious, and surprisingly, Kara does manage to finish the whole thing by the time they reach the hotel Lena’s staying in while her new apartment is done. They both look at the entrance like it has personally offended them.

“Well, this is me.”

“Yeah. Uh… Would you… I know you’re an important scientist and are probably super busy, but, do you think we could see each other again?”

“I’d love that.” Lena’s sure she’s never sported a bigger smile on her face. “Here, let me add you to my contacts, and I’ll text you so you have my number as well.”

“Yes, yeah. That’s awesome!” They exchange numbers like giddy teens, but still linger just outside the door.

“Would you like to come up?”

“Oh, you have no idea. I really, really do. But I want you in my life for as long as I can have you, you know? I mean, I want to do this right.”

“Oh?”

“I mean, if… if that’s what you also want, of course!”

“What I want is you, naked, in my bed.”

“Oh… Rao…” Kara’s so red, it’d be concerning if it wasn’t so adorable. “I really want that, too. I do. But, will that mean like a one night thing? What are you proposing, exactly?” Lena is so surprise for a moment, about the openness of Kara’s feelings, that it’s taken the wrong way. “I’m not, like, trying to pressure you into anything! Please, don’t freak out! It’s just, I like you so much, I really would like to maybe try and see if we work? Together? Like, as a couple? I know we just met… What I mean is, I’d like to know where we stand.”

“Kara,” because Lena doesn’t ever want to be the reason Kara looks this distressed again. “I’d love to explore the possibility of a romantic relationship with you. I know what you mean, you want to go step by step. I appreciate that. I just really wanted to have my way with you tonight.” Lena teases. And suddenly, Kara’s whole body language changes, she gains some confidence at Lena’s confirmation of affection.

“Well, I’ll make it worth the wait.” And oh, Lena is going to hold her to that.

They’re close enough to each other there’s no way to tell who initiates the kiss, it’s probably both of them, honestly. It’s soft, but so full of promise, Lena suddenly has no problem with doing the thing right, doing it their way, at their pace. She has a feeling this is all going to be worth it.

As a matter of fact, she’ll be right. She and Kara would go to start a relationship that’d be the best either of them ever experienced. They complement each other nicely, when Kara is impatient, Lena steps up, and when is Lena the one rushing things, is Kara who grounds her. It’ll start with regular coffee dates, then dinner dates, then lunch dates at Lena’s office. Game nights, movie nights. It’ll be like watching a flower bloom. And yes, the wait for the love making part will absolutely be worth the wait.

[prettywordsyouleft]

MonX Hospital | Changkyun

Pairing: Im Changkyun x reader

Genre: lab technician – hospital au / romance / strangers to lovers

Warnings: medical terms, and the word “blood” is used a lot, considering Changkyun’s profession, illness.

Word count: 4417

Index: Shownu | Wonho | Minhyuk | Kihyun | Hyungwon | Jooheon | Changkyun

Turning around to the next tray of samples to check, Changkyun stopped for a moment after reading the name on the adjoining paperwork. Working at MonX Hospital as a Laboratory Technician meant he could process samples from the same patients at least twice within his working week. It shouldn’t stand out as anything important to him, yet when he saw your name for the eighth time in the past two weeks, Changkyun found himself a little stunned. There were several other technicians in this department who could have processed your blood work but it seemed to always end up in his batches.

“Everything alright?” his co-worker Bora questioned and Changkyun snapped out of his thoughts, however, his brows remained furrowed.

“Yeah, I’m just getting familiar with this patient’s blood samples.”

Bora grinned. “That sometimes happens. I like to think of it as a sense of fate for a technician to see the same person’s samples during their stay. It’s a pleasure to watch as things improve for the patient through their continued testing.”

As Changkyun waited for the results from the automatic analyser to be transferred to the computer he was monitoring, he didn’t hold the same optimism as Bora did. He had been steadily watching the decline in your numbers over the past two weeks. And when the results appeared, his shoulders dropped.

“There’s an abnormality in these results,” he murmured, and Bora swivelled her chair around so she could see the screen. As a technologist, she was more experienced in looking at results such as these. Still, Changkyun could tell the levels to your iron and blood oxygen count were low.

You would no doubt need a transfusion today.

“Just remember that doing these tests are what will help this patient get the right treatment for a quick recovery.”

Changkyun nodded softly. However, your results bothered him for the rest of the morning and he even spent some time staring at a sample under the microscope just to find exactly where the abnormality was. He was invested for some reason and hoped he could find a way to see your numbers improving each second day instead of dropping.

Resigned, he stepped out for a coffee break in the hospital’s public cafeteria, watching as a patient rested her head against a windowpane. She looked far too pale to be away from her room, though she smiled when the sun danced over her skin.

He couldn’t help himself and sat at the table next to her. “Are you here for the sun?”

“After being locked up in this place for two weeks, I’ve finally found a spot where I can get direct sunlight. It’s too nice a weather lately to be cooped up inside so this is my happy medium.”

“I hate to break it to you but you know you can’t absorb vitamin D through a windowpane, right?”

The patient looked at him with a heavy pout which made him regret speaking the fact out loud. “Really? Is it only if I go outside? I’m not allowed out though…”

“Sorry,” he said apologetically. “I once was stuck inside recovering from a really bad virus and used to sit by the window every day until my father, who is a scientist, told me otherwise.”

Peering at his badge, she nodded. “I guess it’s now a bit of a like father like son moment then. He broke your heart and now you’re breaking mine, Im Changkyun.”

Changkyun cringed and waved a hand in dismissal. “I really didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine, I’m teasing you. Are you a doctor?”

“No, I work in the lab.”

“Doing what?”

“Running tests on the samples we receive.”

“Like blood tests?” she asked and Changkyun nodded. She then smiled warmly. “Maybe you’ll have come across mine.”

“Maybe.”

“If you can figure out what’s wrong with me, I’d ask you out on a date, you know.”

Changkyun, having taken a sip from the coffee mug, spluttered it everywhere. “Wh-what?!”

“I’m kidding, of course,” she remarked, looking back outside. “The doctors keep saying that monitoring my blood samples will find the answer to why I’m so sick but all that keeps happening is-”

“Y/N!” a voice called out and Changkyun let go of the mug he was holding, gaping at the patient now being fussed over by a distraught relative, the wheelchair she was sitting in now being wheeled away.

Your wheelchair.

It was you, the person he had been staring at under a microscope all morning long. Well, your blood sample at least. He couldn’t believe that the mystery in the lab had appeared in front of him right now. It was his first time meeting a patient in the flesh like this.

“Wait!” he called out fruitlessly and you turned back, shifting around to grin at him.

“I hope you can find what’s wrong with me, Mr Technician! If you do, I’ll go on a date with you!”

Glancing down at the coffee starting to run off the side of the table and then at your departure, he groaned, reaching out for a stack of napkins to clean up his mess.

Changkyun was hopeful this wouldn’t be the last time he saw you outside of the laboratory.

His daily trips for the rest of the week to the cafeteria didn’t bring you back into his presence. Your samples hadn’t been as regular as before and when you did turn up in his batches on Thursday, he smiled when he saw he had predicted right. Your iron and blood levels had rapidly increased, indicating you had received transfusions of both. You would no doubt be feeling a bit better after receiving the treatment, though he couldn’t be sure since you hadn’t returned to the cafeteria since that day. Had his pointing out about the sun having no effect stopped you? Or was it the relative who acted as if you were too fragile to be around others that had prohibited your return?

It was strange. He had never found himself so interested in another human before like this. You weren’t someone who matched his typical type in women, but Changkyun couldn’t deny you captivated him either.

Was it the added bonus that he had seen what your cells looked like up close? Shuddering with the rather creepy thought, Changkyun tried to forget about you. He knew he couldn’t, though. He was too invested in helping find a reason for your illness, as a professional of course.

“It’s not because of the date offer,” he mumbled to himself, ears growing hot despite his outspoken stance.

Though, he wondered if you actually had meant it since you mentioned it twice.

Another two weeks went by and by that time, your samples were almost back to how they had been before the transfusions. The doctors hadn’t figured out anything, he concluded. And every time he ran the automated analyser or looked at a sample on a slide, Changkyun couldn’t figure what was causing your cells to be abnormal. Even after talking with a pathologist for better understanding, there was little to go on aside from having a type of anaemia. But even the more experienced people couldn’t decide on which type it was.

You were a mystery to everyone.

And strangely, he missed you.

“I know you’ve worked extra today, but reckon you could go pick up some samples for me? Dora fell down a set of stairs an hour ago and is in orthopaedics so can’t collect the samples from wards fifteen and sixteen that we need to test tonight.”

Changkyun nodded at Bora. “I can do that.”

“Good, after you fetch them you can go home.”

“How kind of you to let me go like that,” he cheekily replied and Bora laughed.

“Well, I could make you stay on even longer and-”

“Ten hours is enough!” he chimed, diving to door to the department. “I’ll get the samples and then get out of here.”

“Less talk, more movement, Changkyun!”

He chuckled as he headed to the elevators in the lobby to take up to the floor needed. He thanked the nurse after retrieving the samples from ward sixteen, heading across the foyer to the opposite ward. Whistling softly as he walked to the nurse’s station, Changkyun glanced lazily around the ward, skidding to a stop when he noticed your name on the wall. Blinking rapidly, he went towards the door when a nurse caught his attention.

“Are you here to collect the samples?”

“Uh, yeah,” he distractedly answered, smiling weakly. Tearing his eyes reluctantly from your door, he followed the nurse to her station and waited for the package. Changkyun went to walk off, only retracing his steps back to the nurse. “Is room three allowed visitors?”

“Miss L/N?” she spoke and he nodded. “She has restricted access at the moment due to a family request.”

“Ah, that answers that then,” he murmured and then smiled back at the nurse. Thanking her, he then headed back down the hallway, his feet dragging outside your door. He craned his neck as if that would gain him better access to seeing you again. Your blinds were shut and only a small window in the door allowed him a brief look into your space. Sighing, he began to move again when he spotted you coming back into the wardroom.

You were walking this time, albeit with the help of an IV stand. You grinned. “Well if it isn’t Mr Technician.”

“Changkyun,” he corrected awkwardly and clamped his eyes shut. “I mean, please call me Changkyun.”

“Are we one a first name basis now?” you wondered with an animated smile. “I guess you already know mine. Sorry about the other week. My Aunt is a bit over the top. I’m all the family she has left so me being sick has sent her into a perpetual meltdown.”

“It’s fine, though I did wonder if you went in search of other places around the hospital for vitamin D.”

“Do you know, they’re supplementing it through this bad boy to me,” you mentioned, patting the IV machine. “Along with a multitude of other things.”

“Still no definite answer to what’s going on?” he asked and you gave him a wry smile.

“That would be too easy, now wouldn’t it? Every day they propose something else, and then take it back. I wonder how hard medical school must be if they can’t seem to collectively come up with an answer.”

“I don’t blame you for being frustrated.”

You shrugged and then pointed at him. “What about you? How’re my samples looking?”

“I’m struggling to figure out the abnormally. My whole team has looked at it and have suggested a few things but equally can’t come to a conclusion.”

You giggled. “I feel so exposed. Everyone gets a look at me under a microscope except me.”

“Maybe one day you could too,” Changkyun blurted out without much thought, scrunching his face up in realisation. “Uh, I mean not many people would-”

“Can I? Would I be allowed to?!” you wondered, stepping closer to him with a bright expression. You seemed hopeful and who was he to knock you down for that. Changkyun was nodding before he even realised it.

“Sure. I’ll make sure you can.”

You grinned, patting his arm as you passed him to go towards your room. “Sounds like it’s a date.”

It took a lot of convincing and doing the dirty jobs around the lab for an entire week before Bora agreed to let you look at your own blood sample. Bora gave Changkyun a pointed look. “You’re invested in this case, you know.”

“I know.”

“Did you seek the patient out first or-”

“We met by chance, I swear. I’m not going to go against professional conduct and privacy clauses. Further, if you hadn’t of sent me to go retrieve those samples-”

“Okay, blame me, it’s my fault!” she concluded with a shake of her head, a loose grin spreading out her lips. “You’re lucky I’m a hopeless romantic, Changkyun.”

“Wait, I wasn’t, I’m not…” Flustered with his supervisor’s reaction to his request, he fanned a hand at his face, trying to express that it wasn’t anything like that. Bora didn’t buy it and when Changkyun went to collect you for the scheduled visit, he felt hot under his collar.

Why was his good deed being taken as anything more than that?

However, when he reached your room, he stopped in the doorway, finding you out of your pyjamas and in a floral dress instead. You spun around, carefree.

“What are-- I mean… Woah.”

“Thank you,” you said with a broad smile. “I hoped you’d like it.”

“Why did you get dressed up?” he asked hastily, glancing down at his usual work attire and lab coat.

You giggled. “You look handsome for our date too.”

“Oh, this isn’t a date.”

“Didn’t you offer me to come with you to the lab?”

“Yes, but-”

“And didn’t I agree and say it’s a date?”

He nodded quickly. “You keep joking around with that and-”

“Hospital life is boring, let me enjoy experiences like this, hm?” you pleaded and Changkyun bit at his bottom lip before nodding again, holding out his arm for you to take. You were delighted by his chivalry and swooped in around it, clasping his lower arm gently. And you practically skipped at his side all the way to the lab.

You were gracious during the visit. You complimented his team and made them smile, everyone becoming more comfortable with the idea of a patient in the lab. You asked questions and Bora was in her element answering them for you. You were engrossed by the process of their work and by the time Changkyun took you to the back office where he had set up a microscope for today out of the way from the rest of his team, you were buzzing.

“This is amazing. You do so much here!” you breathed, taking a seat next to him in awe. “I’ll never complain about getting another blood test taken again.”

Changkyun looked at your bruised skin around the underside of an elbow and instinctively reached out to run his fingers over it. “You’ve had so many.”

“Those aren’t even the places they get it from me right now,” you lamented, patting his hand gently all the same. “I’m okay if it means I’m helping you all find whatever it is you can in my samples to help me get better.”

“Speaking of samples, should we look at yours now?” he asked after a visible swallow, reaching forward to the equipment and turning it on. He looked through the ocular lens and fiddled with the machine until he was satisfied with the setup. Changkyun then gestured for you to take a look.

You turned timid as you did so, quietly staring into it.

“This is your most recent sample,” he told you and you didn’t answer. Feeling more confident than you in the situation, Changkyun expertly changed settings of the magnification for you and then took the slide out and replaced it with another. “This is a healthy blood sample. Can you see the difference?”

“Kind of. Can you swap them a couple of times so I can get a better understanding?” you asked quietly and he did that for you, hearing you sigh when you were looking at your own again. “So this is why I’m sick?”

“It indicates you have an abnormal cell structure right now, yeah.”

Lifting your eyes from the lens, you glanced curiously at Changkyun. “Are you allowed to show me the other blood sample like this? I mean, I get seeing mine, but another patient-”

“It’s mine,” he confessed with a short laugh. “So you don’t have to worry about any privacy clause.”

“You drew your own blood just to show me this sample?”

“Well, it made sense to have a second slide. In experiments, we always have a control slide when presenting variables and-”

Your lips cut off his explanation then, pressing softly into his. Before he could truly register that you had kissed him, you pulled away, covering your mouth with a hand.

“I uh, I was touched, that’s all,” you quickly told him, turning away from him to recover. Changkyun cleared his throat noisily and then stood up.

“Is there a reason why you’re not allowed to go outside?”

Frowning at his random question, you nodded. “Too many people are out there.”

“Tomorrow at lunchtime, don’t make plans,” he announced and you eyed him carefully. Changkyun, emboldened with your kiss, smiled warmly at you. “I know where you can get direct sunlight without anyone bothering you.”

Admittedly, it had taken Changkyun all this time to find a place where you could access the sun without technically leaving the hospital grounds or leaning out a window to do so. He hadn’t at first understood why he started searching, ruling it down to his logical side needing to find an answer to the question proposed in his mind. But as he helped you up the final metal stairs to the rooftop, Changkyun knew the reason he had searched for this was because he liked you.

A whole lot.

“Wow,” you breathed at the view when you came to a stop at his side, squinting under the bright midday sun. “It’s beautiful up here.”

“I checked with your doctor and also with some medical studies and its safe for twenty minutes for us to just sit here and soak in the sun,” he said and you grinned, going over to the bench on the rooftop and sat down.

You then removed your cardigan and offered your arms out to the light. “Heavenly.”

“I thought you might like this.”

“I should have kissed you sooner if it would lead to this,” you teased as he sat down beside you. “I also have a regret from yesterday’s visit.”

“You do?”

Nodding, you scooted around and promptly laid your head in his lap, dangling your arms and legs out to the warmth from above. You peeked through an eye at his evident surprise from your move and giggled. “You blocked the sun from that side.”

“Oh, so this is merely strategic?”

“And more comfortable,” you admitted, nestling into his thigh some.

Changkyun smiled. “What was your regret?”

“You’ll think I’m mad.”

“Well, you’re certainly not normal,” he quipped and you whined outlandishly. Chuckling, he found himself brushing your hair away from your face so the sun could reach that too. You stilled, looking up at him.

“I like you.”

“I like you too,” he admitted with a shy smile, your own splitting your lips until you were grinning giddily.

“Would you like me even if I wasn’t sick? I’m sure as a medical professional you probably find what you see under the microscope more fascinating than my actual form but-”

“No, it’s not like that at all,” he cut in, still smoothing your hair back from your face. “I like you. Not your illness, not what I see from my work. I can’t deny that I’m invested in seeing the changes to your tests, but that’s just because I saw them before I met you in person. I was invested before I found you trying to soak in sun through a window.”

“Don’t remind me of that embarrassing moment,” you exclaimed, mortified. Throwing a hand over your face to hide your emotions, Changkyun pried it away and held it instead. Your expression evened out and you started to smile again. “You knew my name before you knew me. And you knew a lot more too, I guess.”

“I’d rather get to know you like this though.”

“Me too.”

You sat up suddenly, almost bashing into Changkyun’s chin in the process. Sheepishly flashing him an apologetic smile, you held up your index finger. “That’s right, the regret!”

“You mean not telling me how you felt yesterday wasn’t the regret?”

“I’m pretty sure when I kissed you, it showed you,” you countered and Changkyun rubbed at his neck with his other hand awkwardly. You then looked at him and grinned. “I wanted to wear that!”

“What?”

“Your lab coat!” you explained, tugging at the sleeve of it. “I was in the lab and I didn’t once put one on!”

“Well, you looked so pretty in your dress, why cover it up?”

“Because! Oh, you won’t understand because playing dress-up as a doctor isn’t fun like it is for everyone else who isn’t in the health sector professionally.”

“I’m not a doctor,” he reminded and you rolled your eyes.

“Still, you get to wear a white coat of importance! Let me try it on now.”

“What about the sun?” he asked and you stood up, bouncing around impatiently, almost pulling it off of him when he shrugged it down his shoulders. Slipping it on, you giggled triumphantly and spun around in it. Of course, it was too big and made your child-like request even more obvious. He laughed heartily then, the magic of the moment making his heart soar further for you.

You were right. For him, the lab coat was simply part of his work attire, nothing more. He saw no joy or importance in wearing it since he did so every workday. However, watching you enjoy it made it feel special.

Until you stumbled in your excitement, reaching for your head as you continued to lose your balance. Changkyun lurched towards you, catching you before the ground did. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“Just a little dizzy. I guess I went too far.”

“Let’s get you back to your room and get a nurse check your stats, hm?” he offered and you didn’t argue, leaning into his side as he helped you back down the stairs. Once back in your ward, you slipped off his coat and climbed under the blankets, smiling weakly.

The transformation bothered him. Upstairs you were carefree and empowered. Now back under your stark white sheets, you looked weak and tiny. Changkyun blinked back his emotions.

You smiled sadly. “Looks like reality came back for us. Go do amazing things, Changkyun. You’re the one with the power to do so. I’m back where I belong now too.”

He was determined to find a way to make you better again.

“I’ve got it!”

“You have?!” Bora asked immediately, scooting backwards to his station and taking a look at his findings. She grinned. “You bloody have too.”

“Pathology needs to get onto this right away and then the doctors will act upon it, right?” he asked, hope building within his chest. She nodded once and he sent the files through to the team, marching out of the department and over to pathology to follow up.

It hadn’t been easy, and after being in the hospital for over three months now, Changkyun wished he had been able to source the correct abnormality in your tests faster. However, the main thing was they had a definite answer now. You had an autoimmune disease that had triggered the mysterious illness. And whilst knowing that didn’t mean you would get better and be healthier than before, it did give answers. And answers could lead to the right medication to support your health to improve and to help you live with your condition.

Answers meant discharging once better as well.

You stood in the doorway of the department, grinning brightly at Bora who welcomed you in. Changkyun hadn’t seen you yet, still focused on his work. But he stirred as soon as he heard your voice.

“Sorry to interrupt,” you said, looking around the department until you caught his gaze. You slowly grinned. “I just happened to be discharged today and I need to thank the technician who found the answer for my diagnosis.”

He didn’t care about the rest of his team jeering at him right now, getting up from his seat and approaching you. Of course, you already knew of his findings since your treatment began three weeks ago. However, you attempted to keep a straight face as Changkyun stopped in front of you.

“You see, when I was terribly sick, I ran into a lab technician who I told I’d go on a date with him if he helped me get better. I’m here to collect on that date.”

“I thought you were joking,” he murmured and you grinned.

“Oh no, if anything, I asked for the date because you were handsome, not holding onto any hope that you would actually help find the reason for my illness.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and Changkyun walked you out into the hallway, closing the door and the deafening noise out behind him.

He leaned in closer. “Well, I guess I do deserve a reward for my hard work.”

“When can you leave?”

“I think I have some extra hours up my sleeve that I can use to leave work now.”

“Oh good because I want to go on a very long date with you.”

“How long?”

“How much time can you give me?”

Changkyun’s lips were so close to yours now, he merely hummed and you shivered with delight. “How about as long as you want.”

“I’ll be greedy, you know. I’ll want all of your time.”

“I have to work,” he mentioned sadly and you nodded.

“And I have a lot of therapy to attend.”

“But outside of those hours?” he wondered and you pressed into him, kissing him with demand.

It wasn’t his first or even his second kiss with you. And Changkyun knew it wouldn’t be his last either. However, it was one he knew he’d remember forever, the way you tasted so sweet from pure happiness to be leaving the hospital and with him as well.

Finally, you stepped back just enough to catch your breath and answered. “Outside of work and therapy, I hope you can give me all your time. I don’t want to stop repaying you for the rest of my life.”

“Can I ask a question?” he breathed and you nodded. “Did you really mean it about wanting to date me from the first day you saw me?”

“Now that would be telling.”

“So it was a joke!” he whined and you giggled, stepping up on your toes to kiss him again.

“No, I did think you were handsome. I just didn’t believe I’d get this lucky. A cure and a boyfriend. What more could a girl ask for?”

_________________

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[rainbowcarousels]

I don't know how interesting this is going to be but I started to answer a comment on the latest JBSWM from @zanahoriabaila and realised I actually kind of want to talk more depth about the subject so I'm going to post it up here. Between talking a little about Genesis especially on twitter and briefly talking a couple of chapters ago about Sephiroth, it's kind of all been ruminating into something meta that borders on a directors commentary.

Again, how come your Genesis always spews all the stuff I think?

This is absolutely something I do with my version of Genesis on the regular and there's a few different reasons why he’s my character of choice for uncomfortable examinations of stuff.

 Cut for discussion of fic, canon, trauma and interrelationships with everyone!

The first reason is the Eve symbolism that comes with Genesis as a character. There's a decent bit of it with Genesis (much like Aerith) when you consider his name, his limit break, his carrying around of the forbidden fruit and the look of the Goddess statue and in CC canon, he is the first person to tell Sephiroth about what Jenova is. As such, giving a lot of the harder hitting commentary to Genesis feels natural because he is good at weaponising knowledge.

It also makes more sense out of AGS to give it to him because of each of their interactions with how knowledge effects them. The revelation of the Jenova Project in general (I hope!) illustrated this pretty well in that Angeal takes in knowledge and then thinks about what he should say or do or feel about it and it impacts it greatly. Sephiroth takes in the knowledge and tries to analyse and categorise because exploring how he feels emotionally about something is really difficult for him and unless it's pertinent, he just doesn't address it in terms of how to feel about it. Genesis in contrast to both goes instantly to what he is feeling in the moment and it fuels his decisions and choices.

Angeal's issue comes when what he should feel and what he does feel are so at odds that he can't reasonably justify how he feels and he's been going through a lot of that since he doesn't want to think ill of his mother, he does not want to consider that his father might have lied to him and he absolutely does not want to think about Hollander at all. His sense of honour is wrapped up in family, in the idea that he pulled himself up to get where he is with hard work and determination and that he does make a positive difference and he's just...completely lost right now emotionally because he can't reconcile his feelings with what he thinks he should feel.

Sephiroth's comes when something is emotive and he can't pick it apart and make sense of it through physical and observable changes. I think this probably comes from spending his childhood as a lab specimen so he knows how to report things that are observable and that emotions are too subjective so he doesn't include them. Then getting thrust into war, he also learns to describe himself by a physical status report. Zack gives him one based on how he is physically because he knows this is how Sephiroth is. The problem for him and the reason he is as noted by the same comment so detached is because he just doesn't really process anything emotional in any significant way, which is why as noted in one of my much earlier chapters, he struggles with saying 'I love you' because it's pure emotion and he tries to show it in his own way instead.  

Then you have Genesis who runs on his emotions and experiences like they're fuel. There's a throwaway line in Don't You Know My Name about how Genesis doesn't so much like or dislike things as he dismisses or obsesses over them and because of that, he has the nastiest tunnel vision and comes across as self centred. He likes to write his own narrative in a way that makes sense to him based on what information he has and how he feels about it. There's a line in the song from JBSWM's title song that says 'judgment made can never bend' and I think this is part of Genesis struggling more with Zack's inclusion into their relationship with Cloud because he formed his own opinions on Cloud and Zack is Angeal's little puppy he's been hearing about for years. It's hard to shift perspectives for him.

Zack and Cloud have their own relationships with truth and feelings but Gast is history for AGS. So onto Gast, because that the subject being discussed in the chapter. It's not something new, if I go by my own timeline, Genesis and Angeal have known since they were 15 about a decent chunk of what happened as Sephiroth's background and Angeal comes down hard on the 'respect what Sephiroth feels even if it's not entirely accurate because it's important to him' side and Genesis comes down on the 'This was bullshit and Sephiroth needs to know it was bullshit regardless of how attached he is to the memory of Gast because he needs to deal with it'.

Zack and Cloud are just forming their opinions and it'll happen over a few chapters, but Zack is far more emotion based but he also has rose coloured glasses and if there is an upside, he will find it. Cloud, growing up feeling angry and isolated and idolising Sephiroth, kind of has a similar way of coping as him in that he has this idea he can't be openly emotional or vulnerable because he'll get hurt but he also isn't about to pull any punches either. It should make for interesting interaction hopefully.

I think Sephiroth is more knowledgeable than he realises in that he quickly guesses from Genesis being willing to share that they are in the 'experimented on parents' club that this is colouring some of his interaction here. He backs down earlier when the subject comes up, not because he thinks he's wrong but he's not pushing that hard because as much as it comes from a place where he's sad and angry that this terrible thing happened to someone he loves, he can rationalise backing down because his feelings are second hand. Except now they're not. While Angeal and Sephiroth can look at their parents to some degree and assign some kind of blame (and Cloud can from being victimised), he can't because he doesn't know who his parents are or what the circumstances were but Gast was the head of the department when this crap went down so he is a prime target for someone to be furious at.  

These guys spent their teenage years building coping mechanisms based on battlefield experience, it's probably not a surprise Sephiroth is practical and tries to funnel it into something productive, Angeal tries to find the honourable method of dealing with it in the way he's supposed to and Genesis just wants someone, anyone appropriate to unleash all of that emotion on. I'd also argue that Zack tries to apply it to being the best hero he can be even though he was doing a lot of pretty unhero-like things and Cloud was cannon fodder, it's no surprise his sense of worth is in the toilet and he can't really grasp the idea of being special.

Someone described JBSWM as five broken people trying to make each other whole and I don't think it's exactly right, but it is close. It's five people trying to figure out a way to live with a shit ton of trauma and a lot of it is trauma they're complicit in which is really difficult to work through given all time and resources let alone trying to deal with Shinra at the same time. 

This kind of brings me back to why Genesis is often the pushing person in the relationship and why he's not always right to do it.

As horrible as the Project G revelations are, it's not the same as growing up in the way Sephiroth (and in some ways, Aerith) did and he has the coping mechanisms he has for good reasons. He needs to have this idea of Gast as this good person who tried to be good to him but died because the alternative is Gast wandered off the moment he wasn't as interesting anymore and left him (in JBSWM's timeline at around the age of 4) to try and survive it by himself. He's already lost this perfect idea of a mother by having the 'L' put there and all SOLDIERs having JENOVA on their files and he's kind of desperately clinging onto something good because he hasn't really thought about what a lot of it would look like to someone coming in now until Cloud started to ask about it and had enough first hand experience to know it was really messed up. He can justify it as Gast was the better scientist, the better man, the better influence for him but if you start taking that away, it puts him in the position of being victimised and abused and that's all there is and I don't think he knows how to even begin to process that. As @aimeelouart pointed out, if he thinks about it or talks about it with any perspective, he would have to acknowledge he is traumatised and a large part of his identity has been built on his own invincibility. How can he be traumatised if that’s so?

The flipside of it being that I don't think any of them understood fully in a conscious way what happened with Sephiroth’s childhood until they saw it up close and personal with Cloud and even if it's coming from Genesis (dude is loud), Angeal is also pissed off and furious that it's just as bad as they thought it might be but could never be sure because they've only ever seen the aftermath and he does not talk about it. Zack got it all in one, he heard about it and saw it and is trying to deal with that but for Genesis and Angeal, it's festered for a decade and since no one save for maybe Zack has ever met a single healthy coping mechanism, it goes out as Angeal being cautious and letting Sephiroth set his own pace and Genesis going no, this is important, you have to confront this because if it hurts them from just caring about him and realising how bad it was, if Sephiroth some day realises how awful it was, he's going to just...shatter or explode and they'll lose him and even if he struggles to express it sometimes, he does love him dearly and like with Cloud, he wants him to figure out what will make him happy and it doesn’t seem like he’ll feel happy until he can stop blocking out what he’s feeling on instinct as some leftover coping mechanism. Cloud having to deal with his own lab trauma just brings it to the forefront and Genesis is not wasting the opportunity.

The thing is I don't think he's wrong about it because I think Alien Demi-god Sephiroth and Sane Sephiroth are two sides of the exact same person. There's hints of it here and there, but I think one of the biggest ones is he's very possessive and it took Hojo crossing the line and almost killing Cloud when he was beginning to grow attached to him to get him to move out of his holding pattern. In a way, this can also be traced all the way back to Gast and the idea of his mother because it's this almost childlike view that when he's attached to someone, they leave and it hurts so the obvious answer is make it so they can't leave or in the case of canon, try to push them to come back. I genuinely do not think Jenova knew what they were getting themselves into with him because they were like 'hey I could be your mom' and got absolutely swallowed by someone who was hurting, desperate for connection and just So Fucking Done with all of it until his will overrode theirs and he was never, ever going to be alone again because the entire planet would be reborn as part of him. 

Not the direction I'm going with JBSWM, they have some things they need to work on with each other but they are together and leaving Shinra was as close to a statement of commitment as you can get. With Midgar behind them and a chunk of their identity and dreams left with it, trying to face those uncomfortable truths will be hard for everyone and as much as Genesis puts it out there, he’ll struggle with his own too because if they have to deal with their shit, so does he. 

[lu-undy]

Un-alone, Chapter 5

Here it is!

A few weeks had passed since that last chat with Fred, in the café. 

Lucien had spent those few weeks locked up in his suite most of the time. He would only exit it to fetch some food to go with his alcohol. He couldn't even drink just wine. Wine didn't deserve to be gulped down unappreciated, non. So Lucien had changed his diet for whiskey or vodka, flavoured with whatever he hunted outside. 

On top of being circled with black, his eyes started to show the start of his dangerous relationship with the bottle. The white of his eyes turned glassy at times and on the nights where the guilt and the hate for himself were the worst, he would drink only to wake up still holding the bottle in his hand, passed out on the carpeted floor.

Lucien was now in his hotel room, walking back and forth, talking to himself. Why? Because he had no one else to talk to. 

He went to get his cigarette case and opened it. He pushed the cigarettes left and right and retrieved the letter concealed behind them, to read it again. 

“Marie… Qu’est-ce que je suis censé faire?”

[What am I supposed to do?]

He read the letter again and his eyes went to a part that he had neglected yet.

“Please, never stop singing. Promise me to sing more, I want to hear you now, more than ever.”

He winced and turned on his heels to walk back and forth again. 

So then what? Should he drop everything, send his letter of resignation and find any odd restaurant to sing in? Finish his days as it started, just… singing?

But Marie’s first request was to find Jérémy a job. What was he good at? Baseball, according to Fred. Well, baseball never got anyone a safe job and career, no prospect for the future. Because then what? Assuming the boy was good enough to turn professional, a baseball career doesn’t last for a working life! Surely, he had to rely on something else after that…

Lucien sighed and grumbled. 

Gosh…

Well, maybe the singing could be sorted out first? Alright, let’s focus on that. It was undoubtedly an easier issue to tackle. 

Bien.

First, he needed a piano, a keyboard, something to make the music he needed to accompany him. Maybe the hotel could provide him with one. Lucien took the phone in his hand and called reception. 

“I would require a piano in that room. Are there any other guests on his floor?"

"Uhm, no Sir, your suite occupies the entire floor." 

"Ah, parfait."

And as simple as that, a few hours later, a piano had appeared in his suite. It was black, varnished and the full-blown grand piano thing. Lucien’s suite was big enough for it not to seem like it was eating as much space as it did.

He sat in front of it and opened it to reveal the black and white keys. 

"Hm." 

What should he play? Where should he start? 

Ah, oui, he knew. 

He opened Marie's letter and laid it where he would a score. His eyes glided on the paper and gently, he started. 

It was an odd feeling. The keys were cold under his fingers, emotionless. He needed to tame them and make them his. This piano and this habit of playing it he shall now keep until his own flame is put out. So the keys and him had better get to know each other quickly. 

He pushed his fingers to sink in the keys, on the white, between the black keys and it reminded him of how he used to slide his fingers on Marie's skin, through her black locks of hair…

Lucien took a deep breath and after letting his fingers find the first chords, he started singing.

{To the reader: the song is "Je suis malade" by Serge Lama (or Lara Fabian), I tweaked the lyrics!}

"Je ne fume plus

[I don't smoke anymore]

Je ne rêve plus

[I don't dream anymore]

Je n'ai même plus d'histoire

[I don't have any stories anymore]

Je suis sale sans toi

[I am dirty without you]

Je suis laid sans toi

[I am ugly without you]

Comme un orphelin dans un dortoir

[Like an orphan in a dormitory]

Je n'ai plus envie

[I don't want]

De vivre ma vie

[To live my life anymore]

Ma vie cessa quand tu partis

[My life stopped when you left]

Je n'ai plus de vie

[I don't have a life anymore]

Et même mon lit

[And even my bed]

Se transforme en quai de gare

[Transformed into a train station quay]

Quand tu t'en allas"

[When you left]

Lucien skipped the chorus, he didn't feel like it, non. It was too soon. He needed to breathe and gather himself. He played the notes, the chords and the arpeggios, but remained mute. He only started singing again after the chorus. 

"Comme à un rocher

[As I would to a rock]

Comme à un péché

[As I would to a sin]

Je suis accroché à toi

[I am clinging to you]

Je suis fatigué, je suis épuisé

[I am tired, I am exhausted]

De faire semblant d'être heureux

[Of pretending to be happy]

Quand ils sont là

[When they are around]

Je bois toutes les nuits

[I drink every night]

Et tous les whiskys

[And all the whiskeys]

Pour moi ont le même goût

[Taste the same to me]

Et tous les bateaux

[And all the boats]

Portent ton drapeau

[Carry your flag]

Je ne sais plus où aller tu es partout!"

[I don't know where to go, you are everywhere!]

His voice had been soft, whispering to himself more than actually singing. But on that last sentence that's when he broke it, he broke the silence and burst his bubble of comfortable shyness. To hell with it all! He had wanted to shout and shred everything around him ever since he had set foot in America! This was his chance to let it all out and by God he would!

"Je suis malade!

[I am sick]

Complètement malade!

[Completely sick!]

Je verse mon sang dans ton corps!

[I pour my blood in your body!]

Et je suis comme un oiseau mort!

[And I am like a dead bird!] 

Quand toi tu meurs!"

[When you are dead!]

The tears were back. Lucien had said the words, in his mother tongue at that. It hurt in English, but in French it had bled him dry to say it out loud.

"Je suis malade!

[I am sick!]

Parfaitement malade!

[Perfectly sick!]

Je suis privé de tous mes chants!

[I am deprived of all my songs]

Je suis vidé de tous mes mots"

[I am emptied of all my words.]

Lucien sniffled. He wiped his messy face with his sleeve quickly before his hand returned to the keyboard. He now played pianissimo and his voice thinned to a whisper. 

"Cet amour me tue.

[This love is killing me.]

Si ça continue

[If it goes on]

Je crèverai seul avec moi

[I'll die alone with myself]

Près de mon piano

[Close to my piano]

Comme un gosse idiot

[Like an idiotic kid]

Écoutant ma propre voix qui chantera..."

[Listening to my own voice singing…]

Lucien removed his hands from the piano and closed his eyes before he sang without restraint, his head raised to a God that had toyed with him. 

"Je suis malade!

[I am sick!]

Complètement malade!

[Completely sick!]

Je suis privé de tous mes chants

[I am deprived of all my songs]

Tu m'as vidée de tous mes mots

[I am emptied of all my words]

Et j'ai le cœur complètement malade

[And my heart is completely sick]

Cerné de barricades

[Surrounded in barricades]

T'entends?

[Do you hear me?]

Je suis malade!"

[I am sick!]

That last line, he had shouted it and maintained it so long that he turned red in the face from the lack of air. 

His shoulders sank and he almost collapsed on the keys to catch his breath after it. Mon Dieu, the last time he had sung was ages ago, and it had never been that cathartic in his life yet. 

He went to grab his bottle of whiskey and resumed his seat. 

“Je suis malade.”

[I am sick.]

He said to himself.

“Je suis malade, malade, malade.”

[I am sick, sick, sick, sick.]

He wasn’t singing it, only chanting it, repeating it over and over again. He had diagnosed himself oui, but what was that illness that made him eat alcohol based meals and prevented him from sleeping? God knew what it was called. 

Some call it grieving, and it takes time to pass, and no aspirin in the world could fix it. No doctors could help either, non. What would scientists in white lab coats understand in Lucien’s pain? Pff, nothing, absolutely nothing. 

Non, the Frenchman was condemned. Not much he could do about himself. 

So he took a gulp of whiskey and rubbed his eyes with one hand before sighing. He then looked back at the letter in front of him. 

Jérémy. The job. Marie. 

Surely Marie would hate him for allowing Jérémy to follow his footsteps, non? But then, what about her saying that the boy was gifted? She couldn’t have meant that he was gifted to become a spy? How could she know what made a good spy? Did she know what made a good spy? Did she - mh....

Lucien frowned and thought harder. 

In any case, what should he do now with his life? 

He could still quit. He could call up the Ministry, jump on a plane and go back to France to hand in his resignation letter in person. He could then hole himself up in his flat, get a keyboard and play until God steals the air from him.

But then, he would ignore Marie’s request for Jérémy. He needed to find him a job. 

“Bien.”

[Right.]

To know if Jérémy could do this, he needed to observe him, get to know him, his habits, his character. Lucien snatched his jacket off of the coat hanger and headed to headquarters. 

When he arrived, he stopped by reception. 

"Agent L, French DGSE." He introduced himself and showed his credentials, given that he did not recognise the person in front of him.

"I know who you are." The receptionist answered with a chuckle and a smile.

"Is the Old Tom still down in the archives?" He asked. 

The receptionist raised her eyes to him and nodded with a smile. Her lipstick was a shade of red too bright for Lucien's eyes. 

"Yeah, you'll find him downstairs." 

"Merci." 

[Thank you.]

The Frenchman took the stairs and went down, the sound of his impeccable black varnished shoes almost completely deafened at each step. Force of habit. He had learnt to walk silently when he was half a man. Now he could barely let his presence anywhere be known. There was something in hearing his own footsteps that he did not like, never did. 

When he reached the right underground level, he pushed a metal door and entered a series of corridors. Lucien soon faced a booth whose walls were in fact bars. There was an opening at the front, a square up to his shoulders, on a counter. 

"Agent L, French DGSE." Again, Lucien did not recognise the employee, but they raised big, round eyes to him. 

"Y-yeah, I know who you are… Uhm… Need anythin'?" 

"Old Tom." 

"Ah, yeah, right…" The young man at the desk behind the bars picked up a telephone. Lucien's trained eyes saw the rows and columns of files and cardboard boxes of evidence and reports behind the young man. "Tom? Yeah, there's a man here for you…? Uh, yeah, he's a…" He looked up at Lucien. "He's agent L, from the French DGSE. Oh?" 

The young man put the phone back down and frowned. 

"Is something the matter?" Lucien asked. 

"He hung up on me-"

"L?!" The door behind the young man barged open and an old man stormed in. "Haha! It's you, son?!" 

Lucien smirked. 

"I am too old to be called 'son' now. But oui, it is me." 

"Goddamn it!" The old man burst into joy and his raspy laughter before coughing to catch his breath. "C'mere, come on, don't stay at the door!" 

Tom opened the side door and Lucien entered. He was welcomed with a hand that he shook only to be pulled in a friendly embrace.

"Goddamn it, Lucio, how long has it been?" 

"Way too long." Lucien smiled at the nickname. Tom was one of those who had fled Italy and Mussolini only to fight his hardest to push him out of there. He was already a young adult back then and he soon found a woman to be his wife and got a few lovely children. His Italian roots never left him and when he had learnt that Lucien was French, he considered him Italian…! 

Tom's accent had tempered over the years but some words still clung in their Italian twists. He was a round, plump man with a white moustache and equally white hair. He wasn't as tall as Lucien, only reaching his shoulder. He also had a distinct gait, the gait of the man whose wife's cooking would prove to be his downfall.

"So how has it been in all these years? Oh, hold on, don't say anythin', come wit' me." 

Lucien followed Tom through the corridors and through more and more code-locked doors. It was impressive to him. Each code was different and changed frequently, yet Tom remembered them all, always. 

"Alright, follow me behind this… There, no cameras can look here. Take a seat." 

There was a desk and a couple of chairs between two large aisles of files. 

"Still like a good old vino?" 

"Is there any chance your fake aisle has something stronger? By the way, is it possible to smoke?" 

"I have a whiskey if you'd like but you can't smoke here, son. The fire alarm'd go off, argh…" The old, plump man bent down to open the fake file aisle. He retrieved a bottle and two glasses before sitting down opposite Lucien and offering him a drink. "In all these years, I didn't know you liked that stuff. I keep it for the 'Ricans. Only people like you and me, Europeans, like wine. They don't get wine here, argh…" 

Lucien nodded. They raised their glasses, cheered and took a sip. 

"Argh, this is a strong one, eh?" 

"Oui, indeed, strong and much needed." 

"Why did you come to see Papa Tom, eh?"

Lucien took a deep breath. 

"I am sick." 

"Oh, is it serious? I was thinkin' that you looked a bit slim but eh, you were never very big."

"I lost my wife." Lucien added and Tom's jaw dropped.

"Maria? Oh…" Tom shook his head, raised it and prayed, his hand going North, South, East and West on his chest. "I am sorry, Lucio… How long ago was it?"

"A few weeks." 

"What happened?" 

Lucien put the glass between his thighs and his back naturally hunched. He stared at the brown liquid and how the light of the neon above him was reflected at the surface of it. 

"Her lungs. They were always weak. Pneumonia killed her." 

Tom saw Lucien's hands shaking and he saw him take a swig of his beverage again. 

"I'm sorry, son, I really am." 

Lucien nodded and drank more. Tom had a second of hesitation, wondering how on Earth Lucien could gulp down the liquid that fast without his eyelids even flinching. But asking the question was answering it and Tom understood that Lucien fell in love with the bottle. 

"Is there anythin' I could do?" 

The Frenchman slowly nodded. 

"There is a young man. I need to know everything about him." 

"He has anythin' to do with this?" Tom asked. 

"Non, not really." 

"Lucio, come on, tell me! Look at me, it's Tommaso! Your Old Tom!"

Lucien sighed again. 

"I wasn't there for her in the end. I barely was there for the funeral…"

"Nothing you could do about any of this, Lucio." Tom stood up and put his still full glass on the desk. Never had he seen Lucien so distraught. He couldn't raise his eyes to the Italian. 

"She was important and I had left her for… this." Lucien raised his hands around to the files, fake and real, surrounding them.

Tom sighed. 

"Eh, now, you loved her and she knew it was for the best of you two.”

“And yet I lost her anyway and I lost her far from me. She was alone in the end, Tom.”

“The way that I see it, you both made a great sacrifice. But she didn’t pass cause you wanted to run away. Nah, you loved her all along. And in the end, God called her back not because of a mistake you made or anythin’ like that.”

Lucien sighed.

“Lucio, look, you did the best thing for her and uh… Now, if I’m bein’ honest and all… I really think you gettin’ away from her was the best thing you could do.”

Lucien’s eyebrow twitched.

“What do you mean?”

“Fred and I have been keepin’ an eye on her for years while you were away. Even made a file for her, just so that if you visited and uh… If you uh… I mean, just in case…” The old man wiped his brow nervously.

“Tom, please.”

Tommaso raised his eyes to Lucien and sighed.

“It’s not pretty and I know it’s not good to sally the dead…”

“What do you mean, Tom? Just out with it!” Lucien lost patience. The lack of sleep and alcohol-free food had made him easily irritable.

“Wanna have a look at the file?” Tom asked.

“Just tell me! What is so odd that you behave this way with me?” Lucien was at a loss as to what to think or expect anymore and he hated it.

“Alright…” Tom stood up and disappeared in the aisles of files. Lucien could hear his heavy gait from his chair. He waited with his fingers grasping the glass of whiskey hard.

When Tom emerged again, he was holding a brown file. He put it on the desk and pushed it towards Lucien.

“Here. Mary Trevor.”

“You have the wrong file. That was not her name.” Lucien answered. “Even before we got married, her name was Mary-”

“Just…” Tom raised a hand to stop Lucien. “Just take this back home and read it.”

“Tom.”

Their eyes eventually met in the underground archive that were dimly lit.

“Why keep a file on her? What will I find in this?” Lucien asked coldly but that only confirmed Tom’s suspicions. Lucien would not like what he would read at all.