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Nightmares: A Bucky Barnes x Reader Story. Chapter 6

Steve loaded the last of your things into the truck you were taking. Stark wanted you to test out a new all electric option, he had decided he wanted to break into the all-electric vehicle game, he didn’t want to be shown up by Elon. Stark was all about going greener nowadays. You hadn’t seen much of Bucky since your date and your heart sank a little. Maybe the feelings weren’t as mutual as you thought. You tried to make it as unnoticeable as possible that you had been looking for him. You couldn’t really think of an excuse to linger any longer.

  “Well, I guess this is goodbye,” Steve said, putting the last bag in.

“Don’t say it like that, I’m only three hours away. You won’t get rid of me that easily.” You replied trying to lighten the mood. You would see them all again. They were your family. Nat smiled and gave you a tight hug. You had already said your goodbyes to everyone else. Tony was trying to play it cool but you could tell it was getting to him. He had treated you like you were one of his own, but you knew with the new Parker kid coming on board he would be just fine. Steve came in and gave you a big, crushing hug next. “Steve I can’t breathe,” you gasped out and he laughed. He kissed the top of your head and let you go. He was the big brother you always wanted, but it wasn’t his arms and laugh you were wishing for at that moment.

  “You let us know when you get there safely,” Steve said in a serious voice. You nodded and looked around the garage one last time. You opened the door to the truck and started to get in. He didn’t come to say goodbye. Your eyes met Steve’s and he gave you a sad smile. He knew who you had been looking for. Letting out a breath you climbed in and pulled away watching Steve and Nat get smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.

  After the drive, you finally pulled up to the address you were given and it wasn’t what you were expecting. It was as if someone had dropped a very large English countryside manor in the middle of upstate New York. You made your way up to the front and were met at the door by Jean, you would know her in an instant, her hair was unforgettable.

  “Hello again Y/N” she greeted you with a smile. “The professor is waiting for you in his study.” She said and ushered you inside. The school was beautiful. Warm and inviting, with so much charm and character. You could tell there was a lot of love and happiness in these halls.

  Jean led you to a large office just off the main stairs. The professor was sitting behind his desk looking over papers. He looked up and smiled at the two of you and you cocked your head a little, catching your first glimpse at the Professor's feelings. Relief. It surprised you since even when you had tried to use them on him you were met with nothing. Completely locked out.

  “Y/N, it is so good to see you again. I hope the drive was pleasant,” he said and wheeled himself from behind the desk.

  “Yes, it was peaceful, you have a beautiful home here,” you replied, trying to make polite conversation.

  “Thank you, this has been in my family for generations. Shall I give you the tour?” he asked and ushered you back into the hall. You nodded and followed. “The first floor is offices and classrooms. You’ll find the kitchen at the far back, dormitories are the second and third upper levels as well as common areas. There is a pool, sports courts, and gymnasium around the grounds as well.” The professor went on as you followed him down the halls, he would point out the occasional tidbit here and there. You followed along and listened as he explained the classes offered. It really was a school for gifted kids and not just for their abilities but intelligence as well. You stopped suddenly when an overwhelming sense of grief hit you. You looked around and saw a young girl sitting in a window seat, staring out into the yard she couldn’t be more than ten or eleven. The professor noticed.

“Ah, that’s Rose. She has been with us for about six months now. She hasn’t spoken since coming here.” He explained and you looked from him back to her. What had happened that made her feel that kind of pain.

  “What happened to her?” You asked quietly.

  “Her powers manifested violently. It left her an orphan. She blames herself. I haven’t been able to reach her.” He said sadly. The poor girl. You approached her gently.

  “Hello Rose, my name is Y/N, can I sit with you?” You asked her and she nodded. You sat across from her and looked out the window as well. You looked back to Rose and focused. Her grief and self-loathing were overwhelming, you wanted to cry and scream out from everything she was feeling. How could she stay so silent with all that inside of her? “It wasn’t your fault.” You whispered to her and she looked at you shocked. “I can help if you want.” You offered up to her with a small smile and gave her a small glimpse of what your power could do, letting it just sweep gently over the grief like a balm. You caught a glimpse of the memory that these feelings were attached to. The utter destruction. Not even knowing what she could do she was powerful. “You didn’t know, couldn’t have known, what was happening. I know you miss them and blame yourself, but it wasn’t you.” You told her, taking her hand in yours. You had said something similar to Bucky and your heart grew sadder. “Don’t let this consume you,” you pleaded with her. Her anger was bubbling to the surface. She believed she needed to be punished. That she deserved to live in her own hell forever and that trying to take that away from her would take away her identity.  You wanted to show her a different way. “You know I have a friend who was a lot like you. He was forced to do terrible things, kill people. He didn’t have a choice but he still felt the guilt of everything that he was forced to do. It was eating him alive. He would have terrible nightmares, do you have nightmares?” You asked her and she only gave you a slight nod. “I could help with that. I could make them stop. Make all of it stop. You will always miss them, but it doesn’t have to hurt.” You told her hoping to get through. She began to cry and you scooted and held her close as she cried and cried. You held her and let her cry, you could feel her heart breaking over and over again as the cries echoed through the empty halls. When she had settled back down you pushed the hair from her face and wiped her tears away. “Would you like me to help?” you asked her again and she nodded. You smiled at her and just as quickly those feelings were gone. The grief, the blame, the pain. You took it all from her. She blinked at you and threw her arms around you in a hug. You smiled and hugged her back.

  “Thank you,” she whispered in your ear.

  “Of course, dear one.” You held her until she let go. “Why don’t you go rinse your face with some cool water. It will make you feel better and get a little rest. I’m going to go talk with the professor and get settled in. Find me later and we can go for a walk?” you asked and she nodded and bounded off.

  “You don’t know what you have done for that girl.” The Professor said.

  “Why have you never tried to use your abilities on her?” you asked wondering why he hasn’t helped her past her grief yet.

  “I have tried reaching her through her mind, she was so lost in her grief I wanted to give her time, see if she could come out of it on her own.” He explained.

  “She is a child, did you not think to try harder, to get her into therapy?” you asked annoyed that he let a child live in that grief for six whole months. The professor didn’t have an answer for that and continued on. You huffed but fell into step beside him. He led you to an elevator that began to take you below the main level. When the doors opened you were once again surprised by what you were seeing. An entire underground complex below the manor house. Here everything was bright and high tech and reminded you of the compound.

  “These levels are restricted to the children. Only those who have been deemed X-Men are allowed on this level. We have training rooms, labs, weapons room, and a hanger for the jet.” He explained as you followed him down the hall until you came to a large round door with an X across it. The professor approached and a retinal scanner activated. The doors opened to reveal a massive round room. A large platform jutting into the center. “This is Cerebro, this is how I found you, how I find more like us.” He said and you followed him in. You were in awe of the cavernous room. Metal panels lined the entire thing and a small control panel sat at the end of the walk way that led to the center. “I know this is all new to you and a lot to take in. It has always been my wish to help those who feel lost and different. Not everyone can always be helped.”  He said sadly and you knew there was more there to dive into but now wasn’t the time. “I hope that you can find the answers you are looking for here, and perhaps help us, as you helped Rose.” You followed him back out of the room and he led you to a lab where you were greeted with a very large blue, something. “This is Doctor Hank McCoy.” The professor introduced and he extended his hand which engulfed your own.

  “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He responded and you smiled and nodded.

“You as well. What are you a doctor of?” you asked, looking around the lab. The doctor was full of curiosity and it made you feel a little like a lab rat.

  “Biochemistry and genetics, I also teach science and mathematics.” He explained. So, he was a super genius. Were all mutants this highly intelligent? You nodded and wrapped your arms around yourself, a habit that made you feel a little more protected from the outside world. “If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to run some tests on you, when you are ready of course.” Hank continued.

“What kind of tests and why do you need to run them?” you asked, trying not to sound fearful.

  “To get a grasp on the extent of your mutation to better help you and us to understand it and to learn how to harness it.” Hank said with a reassuring smile.

  “Hank has been invaluable in unlocking the secrets to mutation and helping all of us understand ourselves better. It doesn’t have to be right away. Get settled in, take some time, and Hank will be here when you are ready.” The Professor offered.

  “It has already been a long morning. If I could settle in a little, I would love to have a conversation with you Dr. McCoy, this is all just very new and a little overwhelming if I’m honest.” You offered up. It had been a long morning already. You had been on the road by eight in the morning and that was after loading the truck and saying goodbyes.

  “Of course, I will show you to your room Y/N” The professor said and you followed him from the lab. He took you to the third floor from the main level. This was where most of the instructors and so-called X-Men had rooms. Someone had already brought all your things in and your life was just a stack of boxes and bags in an unfamiliar room and all of a sudden the change really set in and a melancholy set into your chest. The professor excused himself and you shut the door finally alone. You sat on the edge of the bed and put your head in your hands, the emotions overwhelming you. Right now, your friends and life seemed a world away and not just a few hours. You pulled your phone out and saw messages from Steve and Nat. Steve as always was encouraging and Nat sent pictures of Tony after he had an experiment literally blow up in his face and singed half an eyebrow off. You laughed sadly at the image. You missed them all so much already.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Nightmares: A Bucky Barnes x Reader Story. Chapter 5.

A date.

 With Bucky Barnes.

 You stared at yourself in the mirror wondering if this was the best thing or worst thing you could be doing right now. Of course, you liked Bucky, how could you not, he was handsome and kind, and when he smiled, it made your heart leap. But you were getting ready to leave, you didn’t know if or when you may come back. You looked around your half-packed room, boxes here, organized piles there, you stared at the end of your bed, where not long ago you held Bucky in a long hug after he agreed to let you try and get Hydra out of his mind. A sadness seeped into your bones. This had been your home for the last two years, where you had built friendships, where you had found a sense of belonging and purpose, where perhaps feelings were starting to blossom and now once again your whole life was changing.

  Shaking the feeling off you turned to the mirror once more giving yourself a final once over. You felt confident in your choices and even beautiful, when a knock came at your door. Taking a deep breath, you opened to see Bucky standing there. He was wearing dark jeans and a plain black shirt with a leather jacket. He was holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers, which surprised you because you had never told him.

  “They are lovely,” you said as he offered them to you with a smile. “How did you know these were my favorite?” You asked him, inhaling their scent.

  “That is a secret for me to have.” He replied coyly.

  “You asked F.R.I.D.A.Y. didn’t you?” you asked with a laugh.

“No,” he said, trying to seem serious but a grin started to spread across his face and you couldn’t help but smile up at him. “You ready to go?” he asked and you nodded, setting the flowers on your nightstand. You started to make your way to the door but Bucky stopped you. “You may want to grab a jacket.” You looked at him a little confused. It wasn’t really cold enough yet for a jacket. “Just trust me.”

 He said and you grabbed the jacket that was laying on your bed waiting to be packed. He took you hand in his and the warmth was felt through your whole body making you suck in a breath. You walked with him quietly to the garage when he dropped your hand and got on to a motorcycle and offered you a helmet as he put one on as well as some gloves. The jacket made more sense now. But you had never been on a motorcycle before. The thought equally scared and excited you. You must have paused for longer than you thought because Bucky now looked worried.

“Is this ok?” he asked tentatively.

“More than ok,” you said, taking the helmet from him. “I just have never been on one of these before.” You admitted stepping closer.

  “Don’t worry Y/N, you are more than safe with me.” And you knew that was true. You would always be safe with him. He took the helmet back from you and placed it on your head securing the strap under your chin and your heart started beating so fast you were sure he could hear it. You placed a hand on his shoulder to steady yourself as you swung a leg over the bike and settled in behind him. He reached behind himself and took your hands wrapping them tightly around his waist. “Hold on to me tightly and move in a little closer.” He said starting the bike, the rumble moving through your whole body. You did as he said and he took off, a small scream of surprise erupted from you turning into a laugh. It was exhilarating. The wind on your face, the closeness of Bucky and how his body felt pressed so close to yours, the sound of the engine, there was a freedom in this that you liked. After a short while the tree lined country road gave way to bigger city streets, you must have been heading into Albany. The closest big city near the compound. There were days when you missed the hustle and bustle of the city. Especially New York City, all the tall gleaming buildings, the artists in the streets, the museums, but you didn’t miss how being around all of that life had exhausted you. You had needed the peace the compound in upstate gave you.

You finally arrived at your destination and he just kept surprising you.

  “Mini golf?” you asked surprised and he just smiled at you. You never could have pictured him, all super soldier and vibranium arm, holding the tiny gold club, trying to tap a ball past a turning windmill.

  “Unless you are hungry, we can do dinner first.” He said and motioned to the small pizza place across the street. You got off the bike and undid the helmet, shaking your head a little, really hoping you didn’t have awful helmet hair. He turned the bike off and removed his helmet looking still put together, how was that possible, you mused to yourself.

  “No, I would love to defeat you in battle before a victory meal.” You teased him and he laughed getting off the bike.

“Those are some pretty confident words Y/N.” His hand ran down your arm sending a shiver down your spine. He was trying to distract you, and you had to admit it was kind of working.

  “Wanna make this interesting Barnes?” you asked.

“I’m intrigued,” he responded leaning back against the bike looking too damn hot for a person to legally be allowed.

  “I win and you have to try and steal one of Stark's suits, and I’m not talking about the tailored ones in his closet.” You said crossing your arms. You knew the fail safes Tony had installed around his suits and couldn’t help but find the idea of Bucky tripping them to be hilarious.

  “And if I win?” he asked in a low voice.

  “That’s up to you.” You told him, holding his gaze.

  “You let me teach you how to ride a motorcycle.” He said after taking a moment to think about it. How could he do that if you were leaving? “When you have free time at the school, you won’t be that far,” he added. “Not that I wouldn’t enjoy more rides shared with you, but I think you would really love being in control and doing it yourself.” He wasn’t wrong, the idea of being in control and taking off all by yourself, seemed exhilarating, powerful.

  “You got yourself a deal.” You said and extended your hand. Bucky took it and sealed the deal with a shake and a smile, one that reached all the way to his eyes and made the little lines around them crinkle. He was happy, and you could tell without needing to use your ability.

  You were right in how Bucky would look playing mini golf but it was the most endearing thing you may have ever seen. The two of you lightly joked and teased each other. You could tell he was still nervous and would catch the occasional looks or whispers from onlookers. While the public didn’t know who you were, Bucky’s face had been all over news programs and magazines.

  “Aren’t you uncomfortable in the jacket and gloves?” you asked him as you waited for the next hole to open up. He just shrugged it off and flexed his vibranium hand in the glove. He had to be at least a little too warm. It wasn’t exactly hot out but it was not cool enough to wear the jacket and gloves. “Is it because you are worried people will see the arm and only think of the wrong you did?” You asked him and he stared at you for a minute. You set your things down and took his left hand in yours and removed the glove, you tucked it into one of the pockets of his jacket and did the same for his right hand.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” you said, lacing your fingers through his left hand. “Can you feel that?” you asked, never really knowing if he could still really feel with his vibranium arm. He looked down at your interlaced fingers and the sadness on his face was almost too much. Had this all been a terrible idea, did you cross a line?

  “Yes and no, I can feel the pressure of your hand, I know it's there, but it doesn’t feel like this,” he said and took your other hand in his. His skin was overly warm from the gloves and almost felt like a burn compared to the coolness of the metal, the two opposing sensations crashed around inside of you, and you found yourself moving closer to him, your chest meeting as you breathed. “Here I can feel how warm your skin is, how soft,” he said in a whisper. You looked up at him and couldn’t help when your eyes fell to his lips, how you wanted to just reach up and kiss him, and before you knew it you found your body moving in that direction, you sensed his body was too. That was until the people behind you pulled you from your thoughts with a shout as someone behind you had scored a hole in one. You kept from groaning in disappointment as you stepped back, dropping both of his hands and picking your things up.

  You returned to the game but the lingering tension was there now. You wanted to reach out and sense what he was feeling, but it seemed dishonest. When you finally arrived at the last hole you went first and sank the final shot one under par. It had been a tight game the whole way but Bucky would have to sink a hole in one to win. Which he had failed to do the whole evening.

  “So which suit are you gonna try and take?” you asked as you waited for Bucky to line up his shot.

  “You haven’t won yet Y/N,” he teased back with a smirk on his face. He gently tapped the ball, and you couldn’t believe it, but sank it in one shot.

  “No!” you said faking disappointment. He laughed and had a smug look on his face. You weren’t sad in the least. He had given you a reason to spend more time together, time outside of training, or hunting Hydra, time outside of the team, time outside of the Winter Soldier and an Avengers Operative. Just two people. “You know even though you technically won the game, I feel like I still came out on the better end of this deal.” You told him as you returned your clubs.

  “Is that so?” he asked.

  “Yup, I get to learn a new skill, and you have to teach it to me.” You replied and it was true, you felt like this was winning. He smiled and took your hand in his as you walked to the small pizza place across the street.

  Over dinner you talked about the usual things, where you grew up, family, your favorite movies and music. And he listened intently, hanging on every word as you excitedly told him about your latest obsessions.

  “I’m sorry, I’m talking too much,” you said, feeling self-conscious all of a sudden. “No please keep going, I love hearing you talk. Your voice is soothing.” You looked at him oddly. “What?” he asked, leaning on the table to look at you closer.

  “I don’t think anyone has ever said something like that to me.” You admitted. He reached over and pushed a hair out of your face and once again you felt yourself being drawn towards him.

  “You’ve been on your own for too long,” he said gently. On my own? What did that mean? How could I be on my own surrounded by people all the time, surrounded by the team all the time, you wondered to yourself. You sat back and out of his reach, his words made you feel confused, and you pulled in on yourself. “So, you leave in two days?” he asked, clearing his throat and changing the subject.

  “Uh, yeah, early Saturday morning.” You told him putting on that smile you had trained over the years to put people at ease, to say that, nothing was wrong and you were fine. It was utter bullshit. There was a long silent pause. You wanted to reach out with your abilities to know what Bucky was feeling. Would he miss you? Did he feel anything more than friendship for you? You couldn’t help but remember that warm, glowing feeling you had felt while inside his mind and wonder who that feeling belonged to.

  “We should probably head back before it gets too dark.” He finally said, breaking the silence. You agreed quietly as you slid out of the booth grabbing your things. Bucky took your hand and smiled gently at you making your heart flutter.

  When you arrived back at the compound Bucky walked you back to your room and wished you a goodnight before placing a soft kiss on your cheek and disappearing into the dark hall. Even when you had finally fallen into bed after a little more packing and a shower, the feel of his lips on your cheek lingered, and a smile stayed on your face as you fell  into sleep.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Sunday Afternoon with Steve and Bucky

A/N: NO SERIOUSLY READ THIS FIRST!!!! Ok this one is gonna be a little different. First I want you to go onto spotify and look up Marvel Ambience by Agent Hill. Then find the one that is titled Bucky and Steve’s apartment. Put on some headphones, get comfy, and settle into this nice little comfort piece.

                 This was one of those quite Sunday afternoons you loved best. Steve sat perched by the open window with his sketch book, the soft noises flowing in from the street below on crisp air. The sounds of Brooklyn let you know you were home. You all loved the team and the compound Tony had built, but the three of you had decided you needed your own space. Not that the compound was cluttered at all, or that the team did accept and understand your relationship with the two super soldiers, but you all just needed your own space, to just, be.

               Soft forties music mingled with the sounds of the bustling city, as well as Bucky’s light snoring. His head resting in your lap as you sat on the couch, curled up with a book and warm blanket. You couldn’t help but smile at how easily and fast he would always fall asleep like this. Your fingers ideally played with his hair as you tried to concentrate on your book but you couldn’t help but be distracted by the way the setting sun was hitting Steve. His brow furrowed as he concentrated on the page before him. He was so beautiful and you didn’t know how you had ended up so lucky with the two men. How they loved you, took care of you, met your needs in different ways. Steve was always the romantic, flowers and laughter. Even when in bed together, he loved deeply, and you felt it in your soul. Bucky was crazy, adventurous, spontaneous, and extremely passionate. He had an intensity that you thought sometimes might overwhelm and consume you. But there was also a depth to him that a lot of people didn’t see or know, except for you and Steve. Together your souls all felt like one. It hadn’t always been that way. You had found Steve to be a little to righteous and Bucky to be a little to surely and standoffish. Now you couldn’t imagine your life without them.

               Your book all but forgotten you watched as Steve looked out the window. You guessed that he was probably sketching the view he had from the window. The Brooklyn Bridge just visible over the rising buildings. It was one of the reason the three of you had fallen in love with the apartment. Brooklyn was a very different city than Bucky and Steve remembered, but even with all the changes you could tell they belonged here. You hadn’t argued when they had suggested moving back to Brooklyn. As long as you were with them, you didn’t care.

Looking down at Bucky’s peaceful face your heart ached a little knowing all that it had taken for him to find that peace and it made you love him even more. He was a wonder to behold sometimes. You knew the ghost of his past were still there. You could see it deep in his eyes, or when he would hold you so closely at night it almost hurt. So, to see him so at ease, let you know that it had all been worth it, to have him here like this.

You continued to watch Steve sketch for a while, he was so involved with what he was doing he didn’t notice how long you had been watching him.

               “What are you staring at?” he asked finally looking up from his sketch pad.

               “At how beautiful you are,” you replied and he looked away and blushed before looking back at you through those eyelashes with that half smile that made your heart flutter.

               “What about me?” you heard Bucky’s sleepy voice and Steve chuckled.

               “You too, my love,” you reassured him and swept a piece of hair off his face. Steve closed his pad and walked over, placing a soft sweet kiss to your temple and you couldn’t help but smile.

               “I’m going to make you another cup of tea,” he told you quietly before taking your now empty cup to the kitchen with him. You couldn’t help but laugh to yourself was you thought ‘that really is America’s ass’ as he walked away.

               “Read to me,” Bucky mumbled not opening his eyes and snuggling in more to you.

               “So they laughed and sang in the trees; and pretty fair nonsense I daresay you think it. Not that they would care; they would only laugh all the more if you told them so. They were elves of course. Soon Bilbo caught glimpses of them as the darkness deepened.” You began.

               “The Hobbit, my favorite,” he mumbled already falling asleep again.

               “I know,” you whispered quietly still playing with his hair. That was why you had picked it up that afternoon.

               “Keep reading.” He whispered and you did as Steve leaned against the door frame between the two rooms with a soft, happy smile on his. One that matched your own. Soon Bucky’s soft snores were once again mingling with the sounds of the room as you continued to read, now with Steve as your audience. This really was a perfect afternoon.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Nightmare-A Bucky Barnes x Reader story. Chapter 4

You stared out the window as Professor Xavier and the redhead, you learned her name was Jean, continued to talk with the rest of the group who had now gathered in the briefing room. Sure, you had read the paper on the X-gene, but to know that “mutants” really existed and that you might be one of them was hard to truly grasp. Even surrounded by the extraordinary people in the room.

               ‘You are like us Y/N’ you heard the professor's voice in your head. You turned and looked at him.

               ‘I’m not, I can’t read minds or speak to them like you are doing.’ you replied inside your mind, the rest of the room oblivious to the conversation you were having.

               ‘Perhaps not yet, but with training you could, you can already manipulate feelings, see memories…control their minds and actions’ he added after a pause. You froze and sucked in a breath. That was not something you wanted anyone to know. You had only just learned that was something you can do. You tried pushing your abilities towards him, a warning to back off, but nothing happened. On the other end, his mind was closed off to you. ‘It will take more than that to affect me.’ You frowned and wrapped your arms tightly around you, feeling vulnerable. He had seen into you so easily, knew the potential you had, could have, maybe with training. It was all so much to take in, should you leave? So soon after helping Bucky? Maybe it was for the best, he was safe, he had Steve and Sam, he wouldn’t need you anymore. You had done your job.

               “Okay, roll this back so I understand,” Stark said, pulling your attention to him. “There are individuals with this X-gene, the next step in evolution, and they have just been hiding in plain sight this whole time, while the world has seen aliens, and gods, you all just sat quietly back and let us handle the dirty work?” You could tell Tony was more than annoyed. You didn’t blame him. They had all been through hell.

               “We have quietly done our part to help where we could, we have had our own set of issues to handle. I run a school for gifted individuals to help them harness and control their gifts, many come broken, confused, abandoned by their families. People often fear what they can’t understand.” Charles replied. Tony rubbed the bridge of his nose.

               “And you want Y/N to come join you at this school?” Steve asked.

               “Yes, I think we could help her. Her abilities have already grown rapidly, and there is much potential there, but if she can’t learn to control it, it could end up controlling her. She needs to learn to defend herself.”

               “How did you even know I was here?” You finally asked.

               “I was able to feel you, your power, I have a…device…that helps me locate mutants, now here we are.” He replied, seeming so unbothered by all of this, like he had done this hundreds of times, just shown up to tell people they are different, but not alone. Not alone. There were others like you, there were answers to all of your questions.

               “I’ll go with you,” you replied after a moment. The whole room turned and looked at you, some began to protest but you simply put a hand up, quieting them. “It’s my choice, I need to learn about this, about me and what I can do, you all will be fine without me for a little while. Natasha is more than skilled at interrogation and now Barnes is free from Hydra he is fit for field work. You will hardly notice I’m gone.” You told them, trying to reassure everyone. “I’ll need some time to pack my things. If you give me the address I can be there by the end of the week.” You said turning to Charles and Jean. They agreed and you excused yourself to start packing. Though when you got to your room, doubt creeped in. You paced your room for a bit going over everything in your head, wondering if you had made the right choice. Maybe some time away from everyone would be good. Your attachment to Bucky could start to cause problems for you, compromise you both in the field, compromise your sanity, but the thought of leaving him so soon after everything made your stomach feel hollow. As if summoned, Bucky was knocking on your open door.

               “Hey, how are you feeling?” you asked him for probably the 100th time in the last few days.

               “I think the question is how are you feeling?” he asked leaning in the door frame.

               “I’m fine,” you said, putting on a fake smile, always trying to reassure everyone else. “I,uh,” you paused trying to think of something to say. “Just realized I have so much I need to pack up, not sure where to start.” He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

               “You second guessing yourself?” he pushed himself off the door frame and fully entered your room, it feeling too small all of a sudden.

               “No, I think this will be good, to learn more about myself, about this pow…mutation, inside of me. Besides, you guys don’t need me anymore,” you tried to joke. Bucky put his hands on your shoulders, you looked into those all to blue eyes and your heart beat a little faster as you breathed him in.

               “We do need you,” he said quietly. I need you. “But we also understand. The team wants what’s best for you. Your friends want what’s best for you. We will all worry like hell. Just promise, you’ll come back to us. Come back to,” me he wanted to finish. You looked at him closely and you could feel it, that warm light you had caught a glimpse of in his mind earlier. Was that feeling for you? Was it something you had left behind in him? Projecting your own feelings into his. The thought made you sick and you backed away quickly and you could see the hurt in his eyes and he straightened himself up.

               “Of course, I’ll come back, can’t leave Nat all the interrogation fun. Was there anything else you needed? I really should get to packing.”

               “I didn’t get to properly thank you for what you did for me.” He said, rubbing the back of his neck, seeming almost anxious.

               “You really don’t have to thank me James, you are my friend, I hope, and I would do anything to help a friend.” You told him kindly.

               “I know this is probably poor timing now that you are leaving us, but perhaps before you go, I could take you to dinner, outside of the complex?” he asked and you could tell how nervous he was. The idea of being alone with him outside of the complex made your stomach flip. Was he asking you on a date? You shook the thought away.

               “You really don’t have to,” you told him, not sure that it was a good idea to form a deeper attachment when you weren’t sure how long you would be gone.

               “Please, Y/N, I would really like to take you to dinner. It’s the least I owe you for the months of companionship you have given me.” He took a step closer to you again.

               “You won’t take no for an answer on this will you,” You could tell he was determined.

               “Nope,” he said, his face forming a half smile. You studied him for a moment.

               “Alright, tomorrow night?” you agreed. His face broke into a full smile and you couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I really do need to start packing though,” you said motioning over your shoulder.

               “I’ll be by at six and we can head out?” he asked.

               “Six is great,” you told him, nodding and ushering him towards your door.

               “It’s a date,” he said with that charming smile of his, you nodded, not able to speak and watched him walk down the hall. You closed your door and it hit you, you had a date, a date with Bucky Barnes, you could help the dumb girly smile that spread across your face as you began to pack up your life.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

OCx Bucky Barnes Fic Question

So I am working on a new piece. It is going to be a dual POV between Bucky and an OC character. Would you guys rather I post each small part of the characters POV, maybe once daily, or would you rather have both POV in longer chapter form but maybe a week or so between postings?

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Nightmare Chapter 3 Continuation of Bucky Barnes x Reader

You sat crossed legged on Bucky’s bed, a pillow across your lap, which Bucky’s head laid upon.

 “Whatever you hear, don’t interrupt, don’t enter the room.” You told Steve who was standing over the two of you. 

“That doesn’t make me feel good,” Bucky grumbled. 

“It will be fine, but this will take a lot of concentration and it can’t be broken. If I pull out of his mind part way through, things could go,” You paused trying to find the right words, you could feel the nervousness in both of them. “Well not like how we would like them.” You finished. Steve nodded and left you to it, closing the door behind him. 

“Are you sure you still want to do this?” Bucky asked. You gave him a reassuring smile.

“Of course, do you still want to go through with this?” He simply nodded. 

You took a deep breath, placing your hands on either side of his head. Closing your eyes, you slipped into his mind. You instantly felt like you had just been dropped in a vast, churning sea, finding it hard to find your way up.

 Concentrating harder, you searched for those memories from so long ago, when Hydra had first taken him. You could feel him fighting you, trying to push those memories further from you. But you followed that darkness pulling you deeper. There was so much darkness, and despair. Your heart felt like it was being ripped from your chest from all the pain. Sweat started to bead on your brow as you witnessed memory after memory, dark and cold and pain in all of them. What was worse was truly seeing what Bucky had endured. The brainwashing had indeed turned his body and mind into a perfect, obedient weapon, he truly had no control and had to sit back and watch himself commit all these terrible crimes, aware of everything he was doing but powerless to stop it, screaming trying to wake himself out of it. Tears were in both your eyes and you continued in deeper until finally you found them. The trigger words rooted deep into him. You knew this part was going to be painful for both of you. The words almost taking on a life of their own and digging deeper, not wanting to be removed. You were hoping to trick them, make them think you were alike.

Bucky’s breathing had become erratic, gritting his teeth down, trying not cry out. You couldn’t take this pain away, not while you were so deep in it with him, all your focus and power being used to pull these words out by the root. You’re not sure how long you were in there, or who the screams were coming from by the end, but you had pulled everything from his mind except one. Something you weren’t quite expecting. A kill safe word, to neutralize him in case he had gotten out of hand in those early days. You almost laughed when you saw the word flash in your mind. Sputnik. Say that word and he would fall into a deep sleep, reverting him back to Bucky from the Winter Soldier. You had a decision to make, do you leave it, in case it all your work was for nothing and you needed to stop him from hurting the others. Did they know about the safe word? Did Bucky? Surely it would have been talked about if the team knew. Bucky soon started thrashing under you and the word slipped from your grasp. You soothed his mind as you made your way back out, not fading out the memories from Hydra, you had talked and the info those memories gave was too vital to remove, but you unhitched the emotions from them, took away the guilt. You could feel his own sense of calm over taking yours and something else, something you hadn’t felt when you first entered his mind. A warm glowing feeling. It had been so small it had been swallowed by everything else, but now, you could feel it wholly. It felt like someone calling you home. It was all safe and good and love, you realized. He loved someone. You didn’t pry further, he deserved some secrets. You gently removed your hand from him and wiped your tear-stained face. Bucky still lay there, having fallen into a calm sleep, his mind exhausted. You opened his bedroom door to see Steve, Natasha and Sam sitting outside. 

“How is he?” Steve asked concerned jumping up and peering over your shoulder into the room. 

“Sleeping.” You said quietly looking back at him over your shoulder. 

“Do you think it worked?” he asked as you closed the door behind you. 

“I think so, we will need to test it later, but now, let him rest. His mind will need time.” You said wrapping your arms around yourself feeling cold, deep in your bones. “How long was I in there?” 

“It’s been hours, we weren’t concerned until the screams started.” Natasha said standing up from her spot on the floor. “What happened in there?” she asked concerned.

“Let’s go down to the kitchen and talk, I could really use something to eat.” You told them jerking your head in that direction. They quietly nodded and the group of you made your way to the kitchen. Hours must have passed because as you approached the kitchen one of the many staff members was already preparing dinner. You settled yourself into a chair, Steve and Sam joining you, while Natasha busied herself making a cup of tea. The men just stared at you waiting for you to tell them what happened. 

“It was difficult, the trigger words were deep rooted and had almost taken on a life of their own, they fought me, not wanting to be removed, but I think I did it. It was painful, for both of us.” You finished rubbing your arms, trying to warm yourself. 

“How are you not exhausted?” Sam asked. “Normally you would be wiped out after using them for such an extended period of time.” 

“I mean, I am tired, but I don’t feel drained. I guess all that training is paying off.” You shrugged your shoulders. Not really having an explanation. 

“Or you are becoming more powerful than you thought you could be.” Natasha said setting a cup of hot tea in front of you. Taking it in your hands welcoming the warmth it gave you. That was a scary thought. How long before it got to be to much for you, before you may not be able to control it anymore, before someone decided to use it for their own gain. 

“I think it would be best for everyone to not let that kind of news getting out,” Steve said leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest.

 You nodded in agreement. It was your deepest fear, not that you would ever let them know that. You thought back on the paper you had read about genetic mutations, about the professor who had written the paper. Perhaps you should reach out to him. See if he had the answers, you were looking for. You looked at the people around you, they al l had explanations for their powers, Steve and Bucky with their super serum, Sam and Tony with their tech, Nat with her years of training and abuse in the red room. You were surrounded by gods and people exposed to elements that changed them, but nothing like that had ever happened to you. Just one day it fully awoke inside of you and now, your powers were taking off faster than you could really keep up with them, especially now that you were flexing that muscle more and more.

  When Bucky finally emerged hours later, he found you sitting alone, the rest of the team having left for various task around the compound. Sitting around waiting for Bucky to wake up wasn’t helping anyone. But you had drifted so far off in your own mind they had left you to it, said you had done enough. 

“Y/N” he said quietly, trying not to startle you. 

“Hey Barnes, How are you feeling?” you asked giving him a small smile. 

“You walked around my brain and I still can’t get you to call me Bucky,” he teased trying to make light of the whole situation. 

“It’s not my fault that you have a ridiculous nickname.” You retorted and he sat down next to you. “But really, how are you feeling?” you asked again placing a hand on his arm, genuine concern etched on your face. 

“I feel fine, lighter I guess, like I don’t have the weight of all those years on me.” He replied looking at your hand. You pulled it back quickly, not sure if after everything he was okay with the contact. “I’m guessing it worked then? What you did?” he asked still not really meeting your eyes, afraid of what he would see there. Disgust? Pity? Hate? Not knowing your heart ached to hold him close and not let him go. 

“I think so but there is really only one way to find out. I know the words, we need to see if they still awaken what was buried deep in you.” You stood and made your way to the window, the sky turning shades of coral and lilac from the setting sun. “Whenever you’re ready that is.” You added turning slightly back to look at him over your shoulder. He rubbed his hands over his face and sighed. 

“No time like the present right? We are this far down already, time to finish it.” Bucky replied and you turned to fully look at him. He was scared, you could feel it.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you gather the team to the interrogation rooms?” You asked the A.I. not looking away from Bucky. She located each member of the team on compound grounds and you and Bucky made your way towards the rooms you had been avoiding but it would be the safest place, nothing he could really break in there. 

“So, we are really doing this?” Tony asked leaning against the far back wall of the observation room. 

“He says he wants to get it over with,” You replied to Tony, seeing Bucky sitting in the room by himself. He looked so tired, you could see the extended years on him, how old his soul felt. 

“I still say we should restrain him, you know, in case it didn’t work.” 

“Absolutely not,” You clipped at him in a harsh tone. You knew Bucky had endured all of that torture while being strapped down and you wouldn’t let that happen to him again. Tony just threw his arms up in defeat. “Besides, Steve will be in there with me, in case something goes wrong.” You looked to Steve and he nodded, you both entering the room with Bucky. 

“F.R.I.D.A.Y activate barn door protocol.” Stark Said and the facility locked down. Bucky looked to you and Steve.

“Just a precaution,” Steve said in a reassuring manner placing a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky half smiled, trying not to show his worry. “If you aren’t ready to do this we don’t have to do it right this second. No one would blame you if you weren’t ready. If you still needed time Buck.” Steve told him. It was true, the whole team knew that this would be hard for him, all expect Tony who just wanted it over with. 

“No, Y/N worked to hard to not test it.” Bucky said finally looking at you. He could see it on you too, the worry and fear. It matched his own. But you were afraid for a different reason, you were afraid you had failed him, that you put his mind through all of that for nothing, that you couldn’t save him. All he saw was fear that the Winter Soldier and all he had done was in this small room with her, with only Steve standing between her and possible death. He quickly looked away. “Let’s get this over with,” he said straightening himself and swallowing down his fear, hardening himself against the emotions rolling around inside of him.

 You wanted to say something but words had left you, what would you say to him anyways, the way he looked at you, it made your mouth go dry, gone were the feelings of friendship, the intimacy you had shared not but a few nights ago holding him tight after he had agreed to try this and it was replaced by something you couldn’t quite place. Everything he was feeling was so jumbled around. 

“Желание” you began and he stiffened. “ржавый, семнадцать,” you continued. Bucky fought against the pull of the words, still remembering every life that had been taken. “рассвет, печь, девять,” Bucky ground his teeth, gripping the arms of the chair tightly, tears breaking free from his eyes. “доброкачественный, возвращение домой, один, грузовой вагон.” You finished and stared at him for a long moment, looking for any change, but he just looked at you with relief in his eyes. Your breath caught in your throat and you thought for a moment you would burst into tears along with him.

  “Buck?” Steve asked cautiously. 

Bucky looked at his friend and smiled standing from the chair. Steve took him into a tight hug. You wanted to go to him, to look into those eyes and know that he was free of all Hydra had done to him. To celebrate this moment with him. Instead, you quietly walked from the room, the rest of the team greeting you with praise but it all felt hollow somehow. But you smiled at them and made your excuses, the team joining Steve and Bucky. You walked quietly through the compound, the barn door protocol being lifted as you went, making your way to the large glass front of the building. Outside you could see Bruce talking with a red head you didn’t recognize, they both looked at you as you stepped into the cooling night air. Just then an elderly man in a wheel chair came into view.

  “Hello, Y/N, I’m Professor Charles Xavier,” he said in a British accent, this was the man who wrote the research you had been reading. “I think we need to have a talk.”  

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Nightmare Chapter 2

Continuation 

When you finally woke back up it was dark out. Blinking you could see you were in the med bay. Sitting up and groaning, you grabbed your head, it was pounding and the bright lights weren’t helping.

  “You really overdid it today,” Bruce said from behind you.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y. can you dim the lights please,” you asked the A.I. that ran the complex. Instantly the lights dimmed and your brain thanked you. Bruce handed, what you suspected was something to sooth your throbbing head, along with a glass of water to you. Thanking him and taking it willingly.

  “What happened in there today? That man will need a padded room for the rest of his life after you got to him.” Bruce asked, taking the glass from you and looking you over.

  “I don’t know. I was able to feed him fear without touching him. That’s never happened before. I was able to magnify it, I felt his mind breaking in my hands.” You said looking down at your hands noticing a little dried blood on them.

“Your powers seem to be growing, but also looks like they are taking more out of you, you will want to work on not only mental but physical stamina. I’m going to suggest increased training time for you as well as meditation. But first, nurse what I can only guess is a massive headache, and get some rest.” Bruce said with a smile. 

You nodded and hopped down from the table. Ignoring the hunger pains in your stomach and going straight to your room. Rushing to your bathroom you scrubbed your hands nearly raw trying to get the man’s blood and sweat off. You looked at yourself in the mirror, uncomfortable with what was staring back. You were never the type who wanted to hurt people, you had wanted to become a doctor for crying out loud. But today, you had enjoyed hurting that man, it made you feel powerful, strong. You liked hearing his screams. You turned your shower on, hoping it would clear your mind, sat on your bed in just your towel and fell back, too tired to move. You were woken by screams again. Bucky’s screams. You must not have been asleep long, because your hair was still damp, and your towel was still firmly wrapped around your body. Not bothering to put clothes on you quietly made your way to his room again and calmed his mind. This time was easier and didn’t take as much out of you. Your abilities were certainly growing.

In the weeks that followed you took Bruce’s advice and increased your physical and mental training. Seeing how far you could push your mind, body, and abilities. You no longer needed to touch someone to use your powers. Some you needed to at least be able to see to affect them, except Bucky now. You didn’t even need to be in the same room as him to quiet the nightmares. They were barely able to begin before you quieted them. Like an invisible thread held the two of you together now. His attitude had been changing. Like a weight was being lifted off of him. He smiled more, laughed more, joined the group as a whole more often. More and more you could feel all the hurt he had endured replaced with something else, a sense of calm and belonging. Natasha was the only one who knew the change in Bucky was your doing. That was until one night Steve caught you sitting outside of Bucky’s room. A Blanket draped across your lap, your nose buried in a paper about something called the X-gene. Wondering if it could be the key to understanding your abilities.

  “What are you reading?” He asked, sitting down next to you, leaning against the wall.

  “An interesting paper that could help explain why I am, the way I am,” you said, setting it down in your lap. “What are you doing up in the middle of the night?”

  “Why are you sitting outside of Bucky’s room, looking like it's where you plan to sleep?” He asked back. You stared at him, not really sure what to say, looking down at your hands, almost feeling ashamed that you had been caught doing something wrong. “Does it have anything to do with the fact Bucky’s nightmares have almost stopped and I have been seeing my best friend come back? With what happened with the Hydra agent last month? The bruises on your neck?” You looked up at him shocked. How did he know about the bruises? Had Nat told him? “We saw them when you passed out. Bucky had caught you before you hit the ground and carried you to the med bay. We saw them as Bruce was looking you over. He knew you had been in his room, he knew he must have done it.” Steve explained.

“His screams had woken me, he didn’t know what he was doing, I didn’t want the team finding out, thinking he was crazy and a danger,” you offered.

  “How many nights have you sat out here quietly taking care of him?” his eyes looked sad, like he had failed in some way.

“Not as often as when he first arrived.” You looked back down at your hands in your lap “I think I might be able to help him though, to end the nightmares once and for all. To remove what Hydra did.” You confessed. “I’ve been reading and developing my abilities. I think I could remove the programming.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to give him false hope?” Steve asked, searching your eyes.

  “I want to at least try and help him. Steve the screams, what he feels all the time, it's overwhelming, like drowning all the time.” You closed your eyes, taking a steadying breath.

  “You are a good person Y/N, even if your abilities scare me a little sometimes,” he joked, nudging you with his shoulder. “When do you think you would be ready to try?”

“Soon, do you think he will let me? I’ll have to take a walk around his mind, every thought, every memory, every emotion he has. I’ll know it and feel it all.” You asked.

  “I don’t know, but we have to at least try.”

  You both sat in silence for a little while longer before Steve bid you good night and headed back to his room. Bucky was deep in peaceful sleep, so you made your way back to your own bed. Would he let you help him? 

Even without the invisible tether that you felt with him always, you two had grown close over the last month. He pushed you harder than anyone ever had in training. You were grateful to him for it. A friendship was blooming and he was more at ease every day, yet the nightmares always returned, and the constant threat of Hydra always lingered. As long as what they had done to him remained, he would always be at risk and you swore that he would never fall into their hands again and you would protect him at all cost. 

Your powers had been steadily growing since the incident with the Hydra agent. You could now walk through someone’s mind like you were watching a movie. Nat had volunteered to let you practice on her, the first few times were difficult. She had lived so many lives through her spying it was hard to see what was true or not, but soon you could flush it all out and even learned how to plant false memories and change the emotions attached to others. You could even leave suggestions for future behavior. Essentially brainwashing them to do whatever you wanted. The first time it happened it made you sick. You erased it from Nat’s mind and felt like you had betrayed her, but if that information got out, that you could mind control people now, bend their minds to your will, there was no telling how people would weaponize that. You didn’t even trust Tony and Steve with that info.  God forbid Nick Fury ever learn about it. You saw what being someone’s weapon did to a person and you would not let that happen to yourself.

  A few months after that first night Steve caught you outside Bucky’s room he sought you out again, asking if you were ready to approach Bucky with your plan. The Hydra attacks had become more frequent and the last lead you had all those months ago you had unfortunately turned to mush and he was no use in figuring out their plans. He had been secretly sent to a mental facility and you had locked yourself away for a week after hearing the news. You wished you had never received this power, or learned how to use it. It was Bucky who finally pulled you out of the slump. Convinced you that if you didn’t learn to control it and accept it, it would eat away until there was nothing left of you.

“What if I make it worse, or I ruin his mind completely?” you worried to Steve.

“We have to at least try. I hate to say it but as long as his mind is susceptible to Hydra’s influence, he is a liability and in danger and I can’t lose him again.” Steve said, rubbing his hand along his face.

  “Lose who?” you both turned and saw Bucky leaning in the open-door frame, arms and legs crossed, looking oh so casual.

  “Hey Buck, what are you up to?” Steve asked, giving his friend a smile and hoping he hadn’t heard the conversation.

  “Was just passing by,” he said with a shrug.

“Well since you are here there is something Y/N and I would like to talk to you about.” Bucky’s eyes flicked from Steve to you, and you wished the bed would swallow you whole.  

“Sounds serious,” Bucky said with a tone that was trying to keep the mood light.

  “Well as you know, Y/N powers have been growing, and we think her powers could help reverse what Hydra did to you.” Steve said hoping Bucky would agree without a fight.

“No.” he stated simply

“No?” Steve asked. “Buck we have a chance to get that crap out of your head and you say no?” he was getting angry.

“No, I’m not gonna let Y/N walk around my brain, she’s been through enough, I’m not going to expose her to the crazy that is in there,” He motioned to his head getting more heated. He knew she had been using her powers on him to quite the nightmares, he hoped that she hadn’t gone further than that, trusted her that she hadn’t gone further than that.

“That is shit Buck and you know it,” Steve yelled.

“Hey! Language.” You reprimanded him. “You two will not engage in a screaming match in my room.” You stood and placed yourself between the two super soldiers who were nearly chest to chest at this point. “James, I really think I could help you, I want to help you,” you said, turning to him and he just blinked at you. No one called him James, not in a long time, not even you. Always calling him Barnes or Sarge.

  “You can’t know that for sure, I do want to be rid of this but what if it doesn’t work,” What if you can never look at me the same ever again. He wanted to say.

  “Will you at least let me try?” You asked, searching his eyes. Forgetting that Steve was in the room anymore. All you felt and saw was Bucky. You wanted to reach a hand out to his face, to try and soothe and comfort him. Steve, however sensing he was not needed or really wanted, quietly slipped from the room.

  “What if I hurt you again,” Bucky asked quietly.

“Hurt me, you have never hurt me.” You stated.

  “That’s not true, we have never spoken about it, but I know those bruises on your neck were from me. I know you came into my room that night. What were you thinking, I could have killed you.” He sat down on your bed, shoulders hunched, looking at the ground, not able to meet your gaze.

  “You did nothing wrong, you didn’t even know you were doing it, so deep in that nightmare. I couldn’t let you lie there and scream.” You said and stood in front of him. “If you don’t want to do this, that’s fine, we will find another way, but know that I will never let anyone or anything hurt you, not even the nightmares.” You said quietly. 

Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you tightly. This wasn’t the first time he had touched you. He had laid you flat out a few times in the training room, but this was more… intimate. He was so tired, tired of fighting, tired of not being able to trust himself or his mind. You placed a hand on top of his head and stroked his hair. “Please, let me try.” You asked again. “As long as what Hydra did to you is still in there, you will never find peace. I want to help you find peace and calm.”

  “You have already,” he whispered. “I know you what you have been doing almost every night,” He admitted to you and you felt the guilt.

“I’m sorry, I know it is an invasion of privacy, I never went further than quieting the nightmares. I would never…violate you like that.” You told him.

“I know, you are a good person Y/N.” Bucky said looking up at you.

“I know that until Hydra is out of my head, I will be hunted and put the team at risk. If you think you can do this, then let’s do it. Just try not to make me any crazier than I already am” he said, giving in. You sighed in relief hugging him back, standing there and not letting go until he did.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Bucky Barnes x Reader One shot

“Are you sure you are ready to do this?” you asked Bucky barely able to contain your laughter.

  “Very ready,” He replied with a grin looking you up and down in the costume you had on and licking his lips making you blush under his gaze. The two of you had been peas in a pod since the moment he had arrived at the compound. Picking on Steve being your favorite thing to do together. The two of you had been working on your plan for his birthday for weeks. You could always count on Tony turn a small gathering of friends into a full blown party.

 You peeked around the corner into the room where everyone was gathered and queued F.R.I.D.A.Y. to really get the party started.

 “Captain Rogers, Ms. Y/N and Sargent Barnes have prepared a special birthday surprise for you.” She announced and Steve groaned when he heard the song. You rushed out and took your spot. The red and white skirt swishing against your thighs. You gave Steve a wink before you started singing…

Who's strong and brave, here to save the American Way?

Everyone erupted into laughter as Bucky came out wearing a replica of Steve’s old costume and holding his shield.

 “Not all of us can storm a beach or drive a tank, but there's still a way all of us can fight” Bucky started copying Steve from all those terrible Captain America propaganda films. The two of you smiling and enjoying every minute of this.

Who vows to fight like a man for what's right night and day? 

You continued, the two of you moving perfectly around each other having practiced the routine more than a few times, always ending in both of you almost crying from laughing so hard. It had warmed your heart seeing Bucky so carefree and laughing. He had a devastating smile and you knew exactly why he had been such a ladies man in the forties.

“Series-E defense bonds; each one you buy is a bullet in the barrel of your best guy's gun.”

Who will campaign door-to-door for America? Carry the flag shore to shore for America From Hoboken to Spokane The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!

“We all know this is about trying to win the war, but we can't do that without bullets and bandages, tanks and tents. That's where you come in, every bond you buy will help protect someone you love, keep our boys armed and ready and the Germans will think twice about trying to get the drop on us.”

“I’m gonna get the drop on you,” Steve yelled making his way to the two of you, you squealed with laughter before starting to run away from the approaching super soldier. The whole room was a roar of laughter.

“Do you not like your gift Captain?” you asked laughing the whole way, Bucky in tow as you made your way through the crowd. Bucky tossed the shield towards Steve causing enough distraction for the two of you to get away, finally stopping when you hit the night air outside of the compound. The two of you laughing and trying to catch your breath. “Oh that was priceless, I hope Stark got that all on camera.”

 “Knowing Tony, its already on the internet.” Bucky chuckled sweeping you up into hug and spinning you around. “That brain of yours better start working on a new way to torture him.” 

“Only if you help me pull it off,” You said smiling up at him as he put you down. 

“Always,” he said smiling. The lines around his eyes crinkling. “You coming back inside?” he asked hearing thunder in the distance. A storm was moving in. 

“No I think I’m going to stay out here for a minute.” You said waling further away from the compound, into the night air, watching the storm clouds roll in. 

“Don’t come crying to me if you get caught in the rain.” He said watching you, crossing his arms. 

“What? Scared of a little water? Afraid that arm of yours will rust up Tinman?” you teased him just as the skies opened up and started to down pour. You tilted your head back and felt the drops hit your face, stretching your arms out and dancing in the rain. Bucky watched you closely, and you met his eyes, a smile on your face. You couldn’t help but smile when he was around, big make your cheeks hurt smiles, but seeing the look on his face made your breath catch in your throat and your heart pound, it stopped you instantly. “You just going to stare at me?” you asked raising a brow at him, baiting him. 

“What can I say, I like the view.” He looked so calm and casual leaning against one the beams that held up the large glass portico. 

“It’s even better out here,” you called to him, walking even further into the open field, spinning around, arms thrown wide. You forgot how fast Bucky was because before you could register what was happening you were in his arms again. You couldn’t help but admit it was your favorite place to be. You put your arms around his neck as he cradled you in his arms, the weight of you nothing to him and his super solider strength. 

“You’re right, the view is much better out here.” He said his eyes going to your lips before meeting your gaze. Of course, you had mused to yourself more than once, what it would be like to kiss him, to have him come to your bed at night, but you never wanted to ruin the friendship, never let it go further than a little light teasing, but now, in his arms, feeling his breath on your neck, your heart felt like it would leap from your chest. Another boom of thunder made you jump, the nervousness getting to you. You let go of him and put yourself back on the ground. 

“We should probably go back in, before it gets too bad out here,” you said, wanting the tension of the moment to break. Bucky just looked at you confused. You tried looking anywhere but his face. 

“If that’s what you want,” he said in a quite voice, his hand trail down your arm, causing you to shudder, his eyes still studying your lips. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” you said feeling extremely self-conscious all the sudden. 

“Like what?” he said stepping closer to you, but you took a step back, pulling your arm from his grasp and wrapping them around yourself. 

“Like you are going to devour me.” You said annoyed with his teasing. He had never teased you like this before and you didn’t like it, didn’t like feeling as if he was…mocking you somehow. 

“Maybe I do,” he took another step closing that distance again, the rain continuing to pour on you both. 

“Don’t” you breathed.

“Don’t what Y/N?” you looked up at him, those blue eyes watching you so intently, shining with more than teasing, but with want, desire. “Tell me you don’t feel it too.” 

“You want me to lie and say I have never thought about it, thought about us, of course I have, but what if I fuck it all up and ruin what we have now. You’re my best friend Barnes, I can’t, I won’t lose that.” You admitted to him. He laughed and you soured at it, brushing past him and heading back towards the compound. Bucky’s hand grabbed your arm and whirled you around crashing your body into his before his lips met yours. His vibranium hand reaching around to the back of your neck deepening the kiss, his tongue urging your lips to part. You melted into him, your arms snaking around his waist, as he slid his another around your back. You stood there kissing in the rain, finally letting yourself feel more than just friendship. 

“Hey, will you two stop trying to eat each other and get out of the rain,” Sam yelled out at the two of you. Bucky broke the kiss and whispered. “I’m going to kill him.” You chuckled and looked up at him. 

“This isn’t over,” he said kissing your forehead before turning to Sam with a deadly glare. “You best run Birdman.” He said taking off towards Sam who quickly made his way back inside. You laughed watching him, your face hurt from smiling, again, your heart leaping in your chest as you finally made your way back inside. Steve’s birthday was now your favorite day of the year for sure.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Nightmares Chapter 1

Bucky Barnes Reader Insert.

AN: This one will be more of a short story with multiple chapters.

It started shortly after Bucky arrived at the compound upstate. You were asleep in bed when the screams pierced through the quite of the night. You shot up quickly tumbling out of bed as the sheets tangled at your feet. Grabbing the gun from your bed side table and rushing into the hall. It was quiet and dark, then you heard the screams again. They were coming from Bucky’s room. Creeping quietly towards his door, opening it slowly, gun at the ready as you looked over his room. He was laying on the floor. Bed made neatly except for the pillow he had beneath is head. He was tossing and turning, having a nightmare. You could feel the fear seeping off of him. Lowering your weapon and placing it on his dresser, you knelt down trying to wake him, instead you were met with a metal hand right around your throat.

“Bucky” you chocked out but realized he was still asleep. His hand an involuntary reflex. Your heart broke for this man. Taking as relaxing breath as you could you placed a hand gently on his cheek and allowed your power to flow from you to him. Taking his fear and pain and replacing it with a calm, safe feeling. Soon his hand released your neck and he stilled, falling into a deep peaceful sleep. You stared at him for a few moments. You knew the stories, of what he had done, or you should say what had been done to him, what he had been forced to do. Your fingers lightly traced the scars where his metal arm met flesh, sighing and picking yourself up off the floor, grabbing your weapon and making your way back to bed. You laid staring at the ceiling for a long time before you finally found sleep again.

The next morning you woke, feeling exhausted despite sleeping later than usual. That’s how it always was though. Opening yourself up and using your power was draining to say the least. When you were younger you had always found crowds of people exhausting, never really understanding why until one day, when working a shift in the E.R. You were stitching up a young child that fallen from a tree and had a nasty gash on their forehead. You could tell how scared they were, placing a reassuring hand on them and felt their fear moving up your arm as if you were physically pulling it from them, he was instantly calmed. You pulled your hand back quickly as if it had been burned. From that moment a switch had been flipped and you could feel EVERYTHING. It was overwhelming, you thought you were losing your mind. Like you were drowning and couldn’t get your head above water. A very long road later, and a few break downs learning about this ability you had, you joined the Avengers. Your powers had developed from being able to just take people’s feelings, to being able to manipulate them. You could calm, confuse, take pain away or cause it, and even make people trust you so much they would tell you their darkest secrets. Which came in handy with interrogations. You had learned to not have it on all the time. Allowing you to function somewhat normally around people. It was just so damn draining.

You groaned rolling out of bed, making your way to the bathroom, your throat dry and in desperate need of water. Turing the faucet on and filling your hands with water bringing it to your lips. You wiped your mouth and looked at yourself in the mirror. Dark circles under your eyes, hair a mess, and a very bruised throat. Bucky’s grip has been tighter than you thought. Your fingers traced over the bruises wincing slightly at the tenderness. Not having the energy to try and cover it with makeup, you crawled back into your bed and picked up your phone and sending a text to Nat, knowing she had a high necked tank top that you were hoping she would let you borrow.

Yeah, sure, everything good. She responded. You told her everything was fine but could she please drop it by your room.

A few moments later, a knock came at your door and Nat walked in, seeing you still laying in bed.

“Y/N, is there a reason we are hiding today” she asked coming over to sit on the edge of the bed. You sat up and took the shirt she offered. Her eyes widened when she saw your neck. “What...the....hell?”

“Sorry, I didn’t want the whole team seeing this,” you motioned to your neck. “Barnes was having a nightmare, he didn’t know what was happening. I calmed him down, didn’t know he had such a tight grip.”

“You’re lucky he didn’t crush your windpipe,” she said examining your neck. “If you need the day to recover, there isn’t much going on today. I’ll bring you something by to eat.” She placed a gentle hand on your knee and gave you a soft smile.

“Thanks, but I should get up and move around.”

“Alright, don’t push yourself though.” Nat got up and you nodded thanking her again for the shirt. Natasha had taken on the role of caretaker when you arrived at the compound. She was your closest friend and confidant.

You finally managed to get yourself presentable and made your way to the kitchen. Sam, Steve, and Bucky sitting around the table. You said a quite hello to them before pulling a cup for coffee down and rummaging through the cabinets for something to eat.

“How you settling in Buck?” Steve asked sipping from his own coffee mug.

“It’s been fine.” He said “First couple of nights were rough, last night seemed to be a turning point, best sleep I have had in a while.” You looked over at him from the corner of your eye. Trying to make it look like you weren’t paying attention. He did look more rested. A light coming back to his vibrant blue eyes. You tugged at the neck of the shirt Nat had given you, making sure it was fully adjusted still and hadn’t shifted to expose your discolored neck. Collecting your food and coffee you made your way towards the hall.

“Not joining us?” Sam asked seeing you go.

“Oh no, it’s ok. I don’t want to interrupt.” You said with a small smile, trying to sound pleasant and not utterly beaten.

“Stay, Bucky needs to get to know more of the team,” Steve said getting up and pulling out a chair for you. You took a deep breath and put a pleasant face on before turning and heading to the seat Steve had pulled out. “Y/N here has been a key addition to our take down of hydra.” Steve boasted making you blush as you sipped from your coffee. You could feel Bucky looking you over. He may no longer be under Hydra’s control but he was still a trained assassin and sharp shooter. Always being alert, considering everyone a threat at first. No wonder he was so uptight.

“Please, you guys go out and do the real work,” you said pushing your food around.

“So what do you do then?” Bucky asked leaning back in his chair crossing arms.

“Oh no, you gotta see it, shit is way cooler than a metal arm or super soldier serum,” Sam said and you just stared at him, like really, why does he have do that all the time.

“Don’t oversell me Sam,” you said with a slight warning tone. But he wouldn’t let up, so you placed your hand on his sending a jolt of pain up his arm.

“Damn, I meant for you to do that to him,” Sam groaned as he pulled his arm away quickly. You just sipped your drink again, and couldn’t help but feeling a little smug, you loved Sam but sometimes he just wouldn’t shut up.

“So you can cause pain?” Bucky asked amused.

“Kind of,” you said with a shrug.

“She can control emotions and brain waves. Its impressive to watch her work.” Steve added giving more and an explanation. “Speaking of which, I think Stark is inbound with a Hydra agent today. You’ll get to see Y/N in action.”

“When did this happen?” You asked, Nat had said there would be nothing today. You already felt drained from the night before.

“Early hours of the morning, I thought you knew, I saw you heading back to your room shortly after the intel came through.” Steve said, getting up and gathering his dishes.

“Uh, No, couldn’t sleep and I had just gone for a walk,” You lied gathering up your things and putting them in their proper places, Stark liked everything in the compound to always stay tidy.

You started to make your way to your room, when you felt someone walking up behind you.

“Why were you in my room last night?” Shit. Bucky.

“I wasn’t,” you said continuing on.

“Your scent was lingering when I woke up this morning,” He whispered in your ear sending a shiver down your spine.

“Really, I don’t know what you are talking about, and I don’t have a scent,” You fired back feeling a little offended. He chuckled at your annoyance.

“Sure doll, whatever you say,” he said leaving you at your door cursing yourself. Next time he can just lay on the floor and scream, you thought to yourself knowing deep down you wouldn’t let that happen.

Entering your room you put you head phones on and started your interrogation playlist to get you in the right mind set. Closing your eyes and losing yourself in the music. You must have fallen asleep because you were rudely awakened with Stark tossing a file on to you.

“What the hell Tony” you said sitting up quickly ripening the headphones off.

“No time for napping, you’re up kid” Tony said walking out and giving no explanation for his behavior. Typical Stark. You picked up the file and started to go over the intel as you walked to the interrogation room. You had all kinds brought into you, but this one was different. A higher up from deep with in Russian Hydra, the same cell that had created the Winter Soldier program. You felt anger swell in you, hot and red, thinking that these were the people who had tortured and brainwashed Bucky. The man in the room just down the hall from you that now screamed from the memories turned nightmares and couldn’t even stand to sleep in a normal bed. You were going to have fun with this one. This one would know Bucky’s pain and fear. It still clung to you from the night before, ripe and ready to use against him.

“You brought me a good one to play with today,” You said looking in to the interrogation room through the two-way window. Tony, Steve, and Bucky also looked in. Nat was in there warming him up, playing the good cop. That was usually your go to, make them feel safe and comfortable, and their secrets spill from their lips, but today, today you would be their worst nightmare.

“I don’t like that tone Y/N,” Steve said side eyeing you. You just kept staring ahead at the man in the room. He was large, muscular, he had seen his fair share of fights you could tell. Even from where you stood his arrogance seeping off of him and it disgusted you. He wasn’t scared or worried at all. Like he wanted to be caught, and you didn’t like that. You looked over at Bucky, gaging his response. Outwardly he was stoic, but you could feel his uneasiness, anger, fear. Pressing the intercom to tell Nat to come on out you made your way to the door, lightly brushing your fingers against Bucky’s hand, giving him a sense of calm before entering the room. You calmly placed the file on the table in front of you and took a seat.

“Send the red head back in, she at least looked like she knew what she was doing,” The man said in a thick Russian accent.

“Не суди книгу по обложке” (Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.) you responded catching him off guard with your Russian. Good.

“You think because you know a little Russian I’ll open up to you,” he scoffed.

“Not at all, I am curious though, how someone so high ranking could get taken so easily,” you said coolly opening his file. “You come from a long line of Hydra thugs, but your predecessors were much more impressive than you. Other than being brute muscle, what good have you really been to them,” He was getting angry and defensive, no matter how much training someone has, ego always gets in the way. “Maybe Hydra doesn’t have a use for you anymore, I’m guessing even for your high rank you don’t really know what’s going on. A curtesy rank and title, for your families long service.” You picked at his pride more, it was always the downfall of men like these. He however just sat in his smugness. Which you were very over. Your powers usually required you to be touching the other person, but sitting across from this real POS in front of you, your powers began to leak out from you, moving like long tendrils from you to the man across from you, worming their way into him. You could see the change in his eyes. You never broke eye contact with him. “We could let you go I guess, turn you over to the authorities, since you aren’t going to have anything useful for us.” You picked the file up and stood.

“Wait,” he said, and you smiled to yourself. People can only handle so much fear before their fight or flight kicks in and the amount you were feeding to his man would make even the hardest criminals wet themselves.

“Did you have something you wanted to share?” you asked sitting on the edge of the table you were both sitting at.

“Yeah, go fuck yourself,” he said before launching himself at you, fight is then just like you had hoped it would. You dodge him easily using his momentum against him, you sent him sailing into the wall. You heard a crack, probably his nose, followed by pain. It was nothing compared to what you were about to unleash on him. His own fear now mingling with what you had forced on him was almost intoxicating. He turned and swung wildly, you grabbed his arm and easily got him to the floors, straddling him you grabbed his face and sent waves of pain into him, his screams echoing off the walls filling the room in terror and he clawed at your arms trying to pull your hands off him. You pushed everything Bucky had felt under their years of torture into him, and then multiplied it. You had never felt this strong in your power before, melting this man’s mind into madness. Your nails dug into his skin causing small halfmoon cuts that began to bleed. It wasn’t to long before he was a broken whimpering mess under you. He had even actually wet himself, you really hated it when they did that. You stood looking in disgust at the man on the floor. Your adrenaline leaving you and looking up. Bucky standing in the doorway, Steve behind him with shocked looks on their faces, not realizing Bucky had burst through the door thinking you were in danger.

“He’s all yours,” you said beginning to sway from exhaustion. Everything started to go black, and the last thing you remember were strong arms catching you as your legs gave out.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Bucky Barnes x Reader One Shot

A/N: A short one shot Inspired by When the party’s over by Billie Eilish.

                 You didn’t understand how you had gotten here. Having a casual fling with one Bucky Barnes should not have gotten complicated. You had both agreed to keep it lowkey and purely physical. A way to relieve stress after a mission, but feelings had started to grow slowly over time. The real turning point had been a particularly hard mission, just the two of you were supposed to just gather whatever intel an abandoned Hydra base had to offer. Only it wasn’t as abandoned as the team had been led to believe. Your body was sore and bruised, Bucky however, with his hero complex, his need to make up for all the bad that Hydra had made him do, had taken a bullet for you. Heading back to base on the Quinjet, you looked back to see he was bleeding and not attending to it. His arms resting on his thighs as he just looked at the ground. Engaging the autopilot you searched for the first aid kit, but found it hadn’t been replaced after the last mission. Cursing you made your way to Bucky and pulling your shirt off and pressing it to the wound. He looked up at you with those blue eyes and your heart skipped a beat, it was the moment you knew you were falling in love with him. So angry at him for taking an unnecessary risk.

               “Why would you do that?” You asked taking his metal arm and placing your shirt on it to have him hold pressure on the wound.

               “Didn’t want Nat to kick my ass for letting her protégé get hurt,” He sighed leaning back.

               “I can handle myself thank you very much,” rolling your eyes knowing it was a bullshit answer, you rummaged through your pack and pulled out a water bottle. Moving the shirt aside, you poured the water over the bullet hole to see how bad it was. Pulling him forward to check for an exit wound. “It looks like it went clean through, should heal up alright, you’ll have a scar though.” He nodded and placed the shirt back to the wound.

               “Another to add to the collection,” He said with a half smile. Bucky was no stranger to scars. Where his metal arm joined his body was littered with them, along with all the damage he had taken all those years with Hydra. Your fingers had traced over those markings many times, but now this one was your fault. “Worth it though, can’t let that pretty skin of yours get all marked up,” He said trying to sound flirty, but exhaustion, pain, and a little blood loss was making his eyes heavy.

               “What you don’t want matching scars,” You joked back making him chuckle to himself, his eyes now closed.

               “I would never let anything happen to you,” He said so quietly you almost didn’t hear it as you made your way back up to the pilot's chair.

That had been a month ago. And now here you were, yelling at each other.

               “I don’t like this idea of you going to a party in the city. It would be to easy for something to go wrong.”  Bucky had become possessive since your last mission. Still only ever calling you a friend, still never staying until morning.

               “Are you worried that someone will attack me, or that someone might find me attractive,” You spit back trying to finish getting ready. The girls had all decided they were in much need of a break from the compound and wanted to head into the city to let off some steam. You knew you didn’t want anyone else, that you wanted so much more from him. No man could ever compare. “You can’t call me just a friend and then get mad when I get attention from others, you can’t hold me that close.” You said in a defeated tone. It always stung when he brushed you off as just another one of the team but then would crawl into your bed when the nightmares got too bad. You grabbed your bag and coat and left him there with a shocked look on his face. You knew you needed to let him go, to move on because nothing more would ever happen with him, and you needed more than just sex. It had been enough in the beginning, but not anymore, he had wormed his way into your heart and it ached for him every day now.

                 You tried to forget him and have a good time with Nat and Wanda, the music thrumming through your body, and the alcohol flowing. Your phone however had lit up more than once with Bucky calling you. You were about to turn your phone off when a text came through.

 Call me back. It made you angry. How could he act like an angry boyfriend, when he couldn’t even stay with you until morning, always waiting until you fell asleep before sneaking back out of your room before anyone else had risen.

I’ll call you when the party’s over, you replied before turning your phone off. You weren’t going to let him ruin this night. Not when you had finally decided to let him go. You had to learn to lose him, even though it felt like your heart was being ripped from your chest.

 You got back to the compound saying good night to the girls you made your way through the quiet halls alone. A slight buzz from the drinking, but you could already feel yourself sobering up. Not even bothering to turn the lights on in your room you kicked your shoes off and flopped onto the bed.

               “You didn’t call me back,” Bucky said, startling you. He was sitting in the dark, in the chair in the corner of your room.

               “God damn it Barnes, what is your problem,” you asked, trying to catch your breath from the scare. “Why are you sitting in MY room, in the dark, like a stalker?” You turned on the bedside lamp, bathing the room in a soft low glow.

               “You didn’t call me back.” He stated again.

               “No, I didn’t, I was having a good time with my friends, and I don’t have to do what you say, you aren’t my keeper Barnes. I’m not even sure you were my friend.” Feeling brave from the alcohol, and wanting this to be over once and for all. To have closure from all of this. You stood up from the bed and walked over to your dresser, watching him in the mirror. You placed your hand bag down and started to remove your jewelry. He stood and came up behind you, burying his face in your hair.

               “Y/N,” he sighed quietly. You placed your hands on the dresser steadying yourself and taking a deep breath, taking in his scent, warm and intoxicating and all him.

               “I could lie and say I like coming home alone, waking up alone, being on my own, but I don’t” you whispered, not being able to look at him in the mirror. You could feel his warm breath on your neck and it made you want to lean back into him, to feel his lips trail down your neck like he had done so many times before.

               “Don’t you know I’m no good for you.” He whispered and you turned and could see the sadness in his eyes. “I’ll only hurt you if you let me.” He was saying goodbye.

               “Tonight I thought I had decided to let you go, to end this, but I can’t, I can’t let you go.” You whispered, moving your lips closer to his barely brushing against them. He took your face in his hands, studying every feature, etching them into memory as if he would never see you again.

               “I can’t let you go either, but I need to,” He said, pressing his forehead against yours, your face still in his hands, warmth on one side and cool metal on the other.

               “Why?” It was a small sound on your lips. You lifted your head up to meet his eyes, trying to find answers in them.

               “I’m damaged goods doll, all twisted up and scarred, I’m not meant for a happy ending, and you deserve the world, and everything good it has to offer.” You could hear the pain in the voice. He thought he didn’t deserve love because of all the things that had been done to him and that he had been forced to do.

               “How can you not see that you have become my world,” you brushed a hair away from his face and cupped his cheek, he leaned into the warmth, your touch always giving him comfort and quieting the demons inside. “I was so angry at you for taking that bullet for me, putting yourself at risk like that, that’s when I knew, I was falling in love with you.” Bucky turned away from you, hearing you say that broke his heart even more. How could anyone love him?

               “That’s why this needs to end.” He whispered more to himself than you.

               “I thought so too, but I think about you every moment of the day, I miss you every morning I don’t wake up next to you. If you don’t feel the same as I do, then fine this is over. But James, if you do feel the same, stay, stay with me.” You walked up behind him, wrapping your arms around him, pressing yourself into his back. “Let me love you, how you deserve to be loved.”

               Bucky turned around and crashed his lips into yours and you knew in that moment that he did feel the same, that your hearts were entangled, that it would kill the both of you to rip them apart now.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

Bucky Barnes x Reader One Shot

A/N: Hello All! I was recently inspired to start writing again. This is my first reader insert. Thought I would give it a try. Music is a big muse for my writing so a lot of my stuff will feature, be inspired by a song, or both. This is based on Wish you were gay by Bilie Eillish. Hope you enjoy! 18+ Mature Content.

You panted as you calculated your next move. You knew Bucky was a master assassin and a super solider, but you didn’t expect him to go so hard on you just sparing together. You could barely think about your next before he was coming at you again. You had tangled with both Nat and Steve before and were pretty well able to handle yourself, but Bucky kept coming at you with relentless aggression, and you wondered who had pissed in his cheerios that morning.

You dodged another right hook and tried to sweep his legs from under him only for him to jump out of the way and come up behind you and put you in a head lock. You used all your force to rear up and flip him over onto his back on the mat. You felt some satisfaction thinking you may have finally got the upper hand, but he was up quickly and hit you square in the chest sending you toward the wall of the gym that made hard contact with your back nearly knocking the wind out of you. Bucky then pulled a small knife from his back and threw it directly at you landing right next to your head. You looked over at it stunned before looking back to Bucky.

“What the hell Barnes, weapons really? What is your problem?” You asked shocked that he would take a simple training session so far. You pushed yourself off the wall giving yourself a little momentum going in to kick him in the gut, anger swelling inside of you, but he caught your foot flipping you down onto the mat. You had thought you were finally getting through to him and building at least somewhat of a friendship. You couldn’t deny that you wished it was more, but he blew so hot and cold you never knew which way was up with him.

“My problem is you are sloppy and let your guard down to easily, you get comfortable and that will get you or a team mate killed.” He said aggressively pointing a finger in your face . You just looked at him appalled that he would think you would ever put a member of the team at risk.

“I think we are done for the day,” Nat said. Steve, Nat, and Sam had all gathered to watch as yours and Buckys training session had turned from a simple sparing match to and almost drag out straight fight.

“I agree,” you said getting up and pushing past Bucky heading to your room.

“You know she could have you on your ass in a second if she really wanted to,” you heard Steve say. It was true, you never wanted to rely on your secret weapon, this power that was inside of you. You still didn’t understand it yourself, it scared you. It was one of the deals you made with the team when you joined. It would only ever be if there was no other option. Most everyone outside the core group thought you were just a skilled fighter and spy like Natasha, skilled with a computer and combat first aid. You could stitch up just about any wound in the middle of combat if you need to. You would sometimes help Tony or Bruce in the lab tinkering here and there. You and Bruce had a quiet understanding with each other. Each having something inside of you that you didn’t quite understand and that you tried to keep at bay. You two could quietly sit together for hours. It helped knowing that there was someone like you on the team.

Bucky had joined after you, so he wasn’t privy to that personal info. You made your way back to your room and turned your shower on. You were covered in sweat and your nerves were a little on edge after having a knife throw at your head. Any other time Bucky knife skills would have been a turn on. Watching that man fight should be illegal for the things it did to you, though being on the receiving end of a sharp projectile coming towards your head was another matter all together.

You peeled off your training gear and slipped under the hot water letting it wash over you and clear away the day. Your mind and shoulders began to relax as the water ran over you. You leaned your head against the wall feeling the cool tile on your forehead, with the warmth of the water on your back it helped to center your thoughts. You kicked yourself for having, what can only be described as a crush, on the one team member who was the most closed off. You all had trauma, it almost seemed like trauma was a requirement to be an Avenger, but Bucky closed himself off from everyone, well except Steve. Maybe he was gay, you mused to yourself. You wished he was gay. That would make things easier.

You finished up your shower, wrapped yourself up in a towel and fell on to your bed exhausted. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. What time is it?” You asked. “Three in the afternoon Ms.Y/L/N. A reminder that Mr. Stark is throwing Captain Rogers birthday party tonight, your dress has been pressed and placed in your closet.” the A.I. replied. You groaned remembering the party. Why Stark had insisted on a 40’s themed party was beyond you, but he loved any excuse to through a party. You decided to get a little nap in. Determined you were going to enjoy the evening despite the days events.

You awoke up feeling refreshed, grabbed a bite from the kitchen to take back to you room and started getting ready for the party. “F.R.I.D.A.Y. Play some Glen Miller for me.” You said to get yourself in the mood for the party. There was something about 40’s music you loved and you found yourself excited at the idea of putting on some vintage glam. You were just about finished getting ready when a knock rapped at your door.

“Come on in,” you called from your bathroom thinking it was Nat dropping by to head to the party together. You came out of the bathroom fiddling with your earring and not looking up. “Thank goodness you are here Nat, i need help with this dress.” When you heard a deep cough you looked towards your door and saw Bucky standing there in a 40’s military uniform. Damn did he look good. He has cut his long hair short again and with it styled he looked more handsome than ever. You stood stunned for a brief moment in nothing but your undergarments and heels. Knowing you looked amazing and not wanting to let him get the best of you, you stood confidently and asked what he wanted. He stammered and turned around to not look you.

“I just....um....sorry....I didn’t mean to....do you wanna maybe put a robe on or something?” You rolled you eyes and walked to your bed to pick up your dress and slid it on.

“It’s safe to turn around now, “ You told him. “And since you are here be helpful and zip me up?” You tuned your back to him facing the mirror in your room. You saw him come up behind you. His metal arm resting on your hip, you could feel the coolness through you dress and it made you shiver slightly and you hoped Bucky didn’t notice. As he zipped your dress you could feel his knuckles graze your back and your breath caught in your lungs. This wasn’t the first time Bucky had touched you, shit he had just beat the shit out of you a few hours ago, but this felt more intimate. You could feel his breath on the back of your neck, and his fingers slide across the back or your neck and down your shoulder. You stared in the mirror watching him the whole time, you could have sworn you saw him smell your hair and once again you were very confused on where you stood with his man. His blue eyes locked on yours in the mirror and you thought for a brief moment you could see desire in his eyes. You wanted nothing more than to turn around and grab the collar of his jacket and pull him into a deep kiss, forget the party and stay in your room with him the whole night. Before you could act on it he backed away from you.

“What was it you needed,” you asked annoyed. This man somehow made you want him so bad, but at the same time punch his smug face.

“I wanted to apologize for earlier, the knife was uncalled for.” He said straightens himself up.

“It was a little aggressive, why are you the hardest on me?” You asked him.

“I’m hard on everyone.” He stated simply. You rolled your eyes, he wasn’t gonna give you the answers you wanted so what was the point of pressing. “Glenn Miller?” He asked pointing up motioning to the music.

“What can I say, I like old things,” you said in a somewhat flirty tone. “Was that all you needed Barnes?” You asked looking at him with a small head tilt.

“Uh...Yeah, Ill see you at the party.” Bucky said rubbing the back of his neck and heading to the door. “You look beautiful by the way, the guys would have been painting you on the side of their planes during the war.” He said with a small smile as he waked out just as Nat was walking in.

“What was that about?” She asked. “Nothing, ready to head down?” You asked checking yourself over once more.

You head down to the large two story “entertaining space” as Stark like to call it. The band was in full swing and you could hear laughter and conversation filling the room. Grabbing a glass of champagne from a passing waiter you and Nat joined the crowd saying your hellos on the way. You saw Steve, Sam, and Bucky gathered around the pool table. Laughing and drinking, all in vintage Military uniforms and you silently thanked Tony for making this a themed party because boy did those men look good.

“How is the birthday boy,” you said greeting Steve with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Having some serious deja vu,” he laughed.

“Well that’s what happens when your 97 years old,” you teased. “You boys want to play with someone who actually knows what they are doing?” You asked taking Steve’s pool que.

“Be my guest,” Steve said with a smile putting his hands up and backing away slightly.

“Wanna make it more interesting with a bet?” Sam asked.

“Always,“ you responded leaning across the pool table towards him and Bucky with a flirty smile. “What will the odds be?” You asked as you started to rack up the balls.

“We doing teams?” Sam asked.

“Sure, you three against me? That seems like fair odds.” You stated confidently.

“Oh that’s how it’s gonna be huh?” Sam asked always amused by you.

“That’s how it’s gonna be.” You said. “I win and you three have to take me for a spin on the dance floor, I don’t look like this to just sit and be pretty.”

“And what if we win?” Bucky asked finally speaking up. You laughed to yourself.

“Whatever you boys want to think up“you said as you lined up your shot breaking the balls and sinking 5 right away. “I’ll take solids.” You said as you lined up your next shot sinking three more balls before the guys even got a chance. They just stood in awe of you.

“I feel like we have been tricked,” Sam said as he lined his shot up only sinking one ball before missing a shot. You knew they never stood a chance against you. Years of hanging in a bar with your alcoholic father had given you more practice than you would ever need. You enjoyed this though. Hanging with the guys and laughing as you made easy work of the pool table. “Eight ball left top corner, “ you said leaning over the pool to line up you last shot, you glanced over your shoulder to see that Bucky was checking you out. “Like what you see soldier?” You asked as you sank the eight ball with no trouble. You turned around to see Bucky slightly blushing and trying to avoid eye contact with you as Sam teased him slightly.

“Well boys i think we have been had,” Steve said offering his arm to you. “Care for a dance?” He asked.

“Absolutely old man,” you said and let him lead you to the dance floor. The music was lively as Steve spun you around the dance floor. You can’t remember the last time you were having this much fun, not just yourself, but the group as a whole. The superhero business didn’t exactly lend itself well to normalcy. No going out with friends or really having normal lives at all. Any attachments where a liability and a possible target for anyone trying to get to you. You were lucky you didn’t really have any family to speak of anymore. Except you guess the people around you now and you were thankful for them. You made your way over to the bar after dancing with Steve, grabbing your favorite cocktail you started to make your way around the room, saying hellos here and there and making small talk with some of the other guest. Rhodey telling one of his War Machines stories that you had heard ten times before but the locals always found them amusing. Tony and Bruce having a debate over something. Nat, Clint, and Agent Hill, enjoying their drinks and laughing. You assumed about one of Clints kids since he was showing pictures on his phone. You smiled to yourself as you continue to scan the room, your eyes eventually landing on Bucky. He was staring at you from across the room as he sipped a bourbon. He had a not so amused look on his face, but a hand wrapping around your backside pulled your attention away as some random, fairly drunk man tried to ask you to dance. You politely declined, removing his hand from your body and walking away. Bucky you noticed had disappeared from his previous spot. You found Wanda and Vision cozied up together and sought familiar faces in hopes the man got the idea and left you be.

“Y/N you have been getting quite the attention tonight,” Wanda commented as you perched yourself on the arm of the chair opposite them. You blushed and smiled.

“Not from anyone that matters,” you joked, or at least you hoped it came across as a joke. You knew who you really wanted attention from.

“Heard training got a little intense today, but you seem to have recovered,” Vision commented.

“A little misunderstanding.” You said.

“ I’ve come to uphold my end of the wager,” Sam said offering his hand to you. You finished your drink and placed it on the tray of a passing server and let Sam led you to the dance floor. “So how many men did you swindle out of some pocket change with your impressive pool skills?” Sam asked over the music.

“My fair share.” You smiled remembering how you use to hustle men out of their money to get by. You had been on your own since you were 17 and only had so many skills at the time.

“You could have warned us,” Sam joked with you.

“You never asked, and where would the fun be in that anyway.”

“Steve knew didn’t he?” Sam asked.

You laughed and nodded. Steve had found you once playing by yourself on a night you couldn’t sleep. You had just gotten back from a particular grueling mission and were having a hard time readjusting. It became a small tradition for you guys after that night. After every mission, once everyone had settled back in, you and Steve would find yourself around the pool, play a few rounds. He would tell you stories of growing up, you never much opened up about your past, mostly just kept asking him question to keep the topic of conversation squarely on him. Steve was the big brother you wished you had growing.

The night continued on, you had a few more drinks, a few more dances, and were really starting to feel relaxed and happy, your face almost hurting from all the smiling you had been doing. Steve and Sam were swapping stories with some old WWII vets, the other core members of the group had started to gather closer together. You were surprised to see that Thor had stopped by. He wasn’t on earth often. He tipped his drink in your direction as you leaned against the bar, content in people watching. You smiled and returned the gesture. He motioned to the small flask in his hand and back at you and you laughed and shook your head no. Never had you had such a bad hang over as when you trusted him with a drink. You felt a cold hand touch your arm and turned, a little to quickly for how many drinks you had had, and lost your balance slightly. Luckily Bucky had such quick reflexes to catch you before you made a fool of yourself. You were pressed very close to him his face nears yours.

“Guess I’m the last one who hasn’t held their end of the bargain yet.”

“I didn’t think you were ever going to” you said coolly.

“A deal is a deal right.” You nodded and made your way to the dance floor, where the music had been more up beat when you danced with Steve and Sam, a slower song began to play. Bucky pulled you in close, his vibranium arm wrapped around your waist as he took your right hand in his. You were so close you could swear you felt his heart beat. He smelled so wonderful, warm and welcoming, a smell that made you feel safe and tingle all over. You swayed along to the music in comfortable silence, looking up at him you noticed he had been staring at you. You couldn’t help but stare into his eyes. You could stare into them for the rest of your life and not feel like it was long enough. You were mentally kicking yourself for having these feelings for someone you were sure didn’t feel the same way about you. But as you stared into his eyes you thought again you saw desire there, your faces just a breath away, it wouldn’t take much to reach up and kiss him. You thought he may have been thinking the same thing. That was until the song ended and he quickly let you go and walked away without another word leaving you in the middle of the dance floor alone and confused.

“Well that was interesting” Nat said coming up behind, startling you.

“Damn it, Nat don’t do that.” You scolded her.

“I thought he was going to kiss you for a minute.” She mused as you walked over to join the rest of the group of avengers that had gathered.

“Right, after he nearly killed me this afternoon.” You joked back with her.

“He is a hard one to read, I’ll give you that.” She handed you a drink and you took it.

“Do you think there is something going on between him and Steve?” You asked which caused her to almost spit her drink out from laughter.

“If Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are gay then I’m the Queen of England,” Nat responded laughing and shaking her head.

“Well they are just so close and I never see any of them with women,” you continued quietly with her so the others didn’t overhear.

“I can assure you Steve is not gay,” and she sipped her drink giving you a sly smile.

“Natasha Romanoff are you sleeping with Captain America?” You asked in fake shock.

She gave you a wink and smiled. Good for them, you thought. If Steve had a best friend other than Bucky it was Nat.

“What are you two conspiring about over there?” Tony asked pulling your attention back to the group.

“Nothing,” you both responded at the same time causing the group to laugh.

“Well Rogers, did I throw you a great party or what?” Tony gloated

“I have to admit, tonight was much needed.” Steve allowed Tony some small satisfaction. The evening had been much needed. Somehow the conversation turned to odd talents that the group had, other than what they brought to the team. Sam talked about his excellent cooking skills, Nat could play the piano, Vision had learned some magic tricks which you found amusing.

“I already know Y/N secret talent, she is a pool shark, girl is a seriously hustler” Sam said.

“Actually that isn’t my only talent. I used to sing, way back when.” You told the group.

“Oh I have got to hear this then,” Tony said getting up.

“No Tony, really, I haven’t sang in front of a large group in years.” You pleaded.

“Oh come on, live a little,” Nat nudged you and the others agreed. You sighed looking at the group in front of you. Again your eyes found Bucky. They seemed to always be searching Bucky out. Again he was at a distance, sipping his drink. Some girl gabbing away at him but his eyes were on you. It riled something up inside of you and you stood.

“Alright, you guys better enjoy this,” you said.

“Excellent,” Tony exclaimed rubbing his handing together and walking you to the stage. “Ok everyone listen up. We have a treat for you this evening. A singing Avenger. Not to be confused with a singing telegram. So everyone give it up for Y/N”. The room clapped as Tony made his way off stage. You talked to the band leader and they know the song you wanted to do.

"Baby, I don't feel so good", six words you never understood "I'll never let you go", five words you'll never say

You began to sing your body moving with the beat of the music.

I laugh along like nothing's wrong, four days has never felt so long If three's a crowd and two was us, one slipped away I just wanna make you feel okay

You looked straight at Bucky

But all you do is look the other way I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay I just kinda wish you were gay Is there a reason we're not through? Is there a 12-step just for you? Our conversation's all in blue 11 "heys" (Hey, hey, hey, hey) Ten fingers tearin' out my hair Nine times, you never made it there I ate alone at seven, you were six minutes away

You were really starting to enjoy yourself and had forgotten how much you liked to perform.

How am I supposed to make you feel okay When all you do is walk the other way? I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay

You motioned for the crowd to join you on the next line

I just kinda wish you were gay

And they all joined except Bucky who stared at you with an equally amused and annoyed look on his face.

To spare my pride To give your lack of interest, an explanation Don't say I'm not your type Just say that I'm not your preferred sexual orientation I'm so selfish But you make me feel helpless, yeah And I can't stand another day Stand another day I just wanna make you feel okay But all you do is look the other way, hmm I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay I just kinda wish you were gay I just kinda wish you were gay I just kinda wish you were gay

You finished the song to loud applause and raised your glass in a silent toast with a smug grin on your face.

“Alright everyone, give it up for Y/N. And I would just like to say if being an Avenger doesn’t work out, you will certainly have a career in entertainment and I will take full credit for your discovery.” Tony said. “I would like to thank everyone for coming out to Captain Rogers birthday party. You all look amazing, please continue to enjoy the open bar and music and don’t forget to tip.” Tony finished before the band continued to play on. The group greeted you with another round of applause and cheers.

“Thank you, thank you,” you said giving a small curtsy. “I think I will end the evening on a high note and turn in.” The group protested but you were very ready to head back to you bed, the endorphins wearing off. You made you way back down to your room, the halls dark and quite, a vast difference from the party going on 5 floors above you.

“That was quite the performance,” a voice whispered in your ear and your fight instincts kicked in and you grabbed the head of whoever was behind you, flipping them over you and on to their back, and placing a heeled foot on their chest, ready to fight.

“Jesus, Barnes, do you have a death wish.” You asked seeing the shocked face of Bucky looking up at you from the ground. You stepped back and helped him up.

“Where did that strength come from,” he asked dusting himself off. You just shrugged. The power inside you had just swelled, and you cursed yourself for not having more control over it.

“Maybe don’t sneak up on a person in the dark,” You fired back at him going to walk around him towards your door when he grabbed your arm stopping you.

You looked from his arm to him, an eyebrow raised on your face. He stepped closer to you, wrapping your waist with his metal arm pulling you in and pressing your body against his. It all happened so fast you barely had time to realize his lips crashing into yours. He dropped your arm wrapping you fully in his as he deepened the kiss, running his tongue across you lip, urging you mouth to open. Your arm ran up his chest feeling his muscles under your fingers. They made their way to his hair and you buried your fingers in it, your mouth welcoming him. Your heart pounding in your chest and a warmth spreading over your body. He lifted you up and you wrapped your legs around him not breaking your kiss. He pushed you against the door to your room, dropped an arm fiddling with the door handle to get it open. It finally sprung open and Bucky carried you inside, closing the door with his foot. He placed you back down on your feet, still kissing you as he got rid of his jacket, and shoes. Your fingers started to undo the buttons of his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders exposing his bare chest to you. You allowed yourself moment to take him in and began to kiss down his neck to his chest, your fingers exploring his torso. His warm skin, running across the scars where his arm had been replaced. You placed light kisses over them, thinking maybe you could kiss away the pain he had endured all those years. You took his left hand in yours and brought it up and placed a small kiss on the palm of his hand while looking him in the eyes, there way so much behind them, longing, sadness, and something primal that made you weak in the knees. His hand snaked behind your neck and pulled you in for another deep kiss. This one was not as urgent, it was tender, it told you more about the man standing in front of you than any conversation ever could. He poured all of himself into that kiss, the boy Steve knew growing up, the soldier that was captured and tortured, the broken man that had been on the run and alone, and now the man that had found a family and a home again. A man still struggling every day to find himself again. He pulled back from you and looked in your eyes asking for permission. You gave him a small nod and turned around. He unzipped your dress and it fell to the floor. His hands roamed up your body feeling your curves as he kissed your neck, a hand slipping into your bra and tugging at your nipple sending a shock wave straight to your already wet folds as you let out a gentle moan. You turned around and laid yourself back on the bed and Bucky took you in never wanting anything more in his whole life. He made quick work of removing his pants before crawling on top of you and capturing your mouth in another passionate kiss. His body felt so good and right on top of yours. His hand slipped behind your back undoing your bra and helping you to toss it to the side as he took a breast into his mouth, his tongue swirling around and teasing your nipple. You could feel the scuff of his five o’clock shadow against the softness of your skin and your whole body was on fire for this man. His free hand traveled down your body and slipped into your panties. Running a finger through your wet folds. You hadn’t been touched like this is so long, you arched into his hand, and moaned. He kissed you again as his finger continued to explore, his thumb slipping over your clit as he slide a finger inside of you and then another. You were coming undone quickly. He took his time drawing his fingers in and out of you, your body matching the rhythm of his movements. You could feel an orgasm building, the intense feeling almost to much to handle. You wanted to cum so badly but not as badly as wanting to feel Bucky inside of you. You grab his arm, still his movement and he looked at you confused.

“ Do you want me to stop” he asked concerned.

“ No,” you said in a breathy manor. “ I want to feel you inside of me, I need to feel you,” you said sitting up and pushing him down onto his back. You removed the last of his clothing before removing your panties. You stroked the hard length of his cock before positioning yourself over him. You took him in slowly, enjoying each second of feeling him fill you. You could hear him moan and that alone almost sent you over the edge. You leaned down and kissed him before slowly moving your hips back and forth, feeling him deep inside of you, hitting just the right spot. You continue the slow pace, taking your time. Placing your hands firmly on his chest, sitting up you continued to ride him, his hands roamed your body, one moved to your hips urging your movements, the other massaging your breast and tugging on your nipple. You orgasm building anew.

“ Look at me,” he said and as your eyes met his you came undone. Your orgasm hitting you, taking over your whole body. The sensation was overwhelming. Your lips crashed into his as he lifted you and rolled you on to your back, not even breaking the contact between. He held you tightly as he began to move in and out of you, his movements keeping your orgasm going. You didn’t know how much more you could take. Your nails racking across his back, feeling his muscles flex under them.

“James,please.” Escaped your lips as you felt another orgasm building. Something that had never happened to you before. Your words seemed to urge him on as his movements became faster and deeper.

“ Say it again,” he growled into your neck.

“Please,” you moaned

“No my name,” he responded kissing you.

“James,” you whispered against his lips. It didn’t take long for him to come undone inside of you setting off another intense orgasm.

You laid there, connected, breathless, heart pounding, bodies covered in a thin layer of sweat. Bucky rolled off of you, you shivered, the absence of his warmth left you open to the coolness of the night air. He pulled you in close, as he moved the bedspread to cover the two of you. Being wrapped in his arms, your lust satiated, your body relaxed in the afterglow, you felt how tired you were. Bucky placed a kiss on your forehead.

“It’s ok, sleep doll.” He whispered to you. You smiled to yourself. He was definitely not gay, which he proved to you again in the morning. And many days after that.

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

the difference between minerva mcgonagall and the woman who plays her in the films, dame maggie smith, is that mcgonagall can turn into a cat

and sometimes i’m not even sure about that

[scarletdawnxx-blog]

MCGONAGALL IS BADASS AF! 

YOU DARE NOT BE ON HER WAY WHEN SHE’S PISSED