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gladerwolfstarkimagines · 3 years ago

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Imagine being Lin Beifong’s daughter and Korra having a crush on you

You entered President Raiko’s party late and hurried inside hoping to avoid your mother’s wrath by appearing as soon as possible. Being Lin Beifong’s daughter and employee meant she was twice as hard on you as anyone on the force, so she would not take your tardiness well. You were waved into the building by guards who recognised you on sight and rushed into the ballroom. You saw the party was already in full swing and braced yourself for all the fake smiling you’d have to endure when a young woman appeared across from you. “Avatar Korra” you nodded in recognition of the girl who grinned at you. “Miss Beifong” she smiled in greeting “you look as beautiful as ever...you legs alone seem to go on for years in those trousers” she commented glancing at them and you blushed. “Funny I just had a similar thought about your biceps”. Korra beamed “ow you can’t really see them in this thing but I’d be happy to give you a closer look”.

You couldn’t resist a smile and your blush grew to have such a beautiful woman flirt so blatantly with you. Korra was always like this around you and you enjoyed it greatly even if it wasn’t professional. Korra was a breath of fresh air in Republic City and you enjoyed her confidence and humour. You liked the avatar a lot but you had no intentions of pursuing anything beyond flirting with her. For one thing she was young, cocky, beautiful and THE avatar. You supposed she had hundreds of boys and girls queueing up for her and didn’t want to just be another name on her list. You’d heard about how the previous water tribe avatar had been a hit with women and apparently that was a trait Korra shared. She was the avatar, who wouldn’t be weak to her charm? Still you tried to behave so aimed to change the topic of conversation.

“I think we should join the party seeing as we’re both very late” you smiled slyly and Korra smirked “I didn’t think Beifongs were ever late. Are you really trying to tell me you’re not perfect?”. The girl was insatiable. “We all have our secrets” you replied and Korra’s grin only grew. “Mysterious, intelligent and beautiful...you have to let me lead you into the party. As the Avatar it’s my duty to serve the people”. “Well who I am to get in the way of that” you smirked rolling your eyes as you took her outstretched arm. Korra led you into the party proudly and you enjoyed being on her arm. Still you were in work mode, so you only stayed by Korra’s side for an appropriate amount of time before excusing yourself so nobody would get the wrong idea. Korra never failed to make you smile or blush but you wouldn’t let it progress no matter how much fun it would be. So you allowed the flirting and lingering glances but stopped it from going any further.

You saw Korra pretty regularly as she was always in trouble with the law in some way or another and not a month after the party President Raiko banned her from Republic City. It was something he’d likely take back pretty soon but still she had to leave so you and your mother went to help her however you could. The avatar didn’t seem too bothered by the President’s command and still had that cocky smile on her face. She let you into Tenzin’s home and explained how she was leaving tomorrow to go look for air benders anyway. She read out the names of some known airbenders in the earth kingdom and you paused as one was familiar. “Wait did you say Opal? Is she from Zafou by any chance?” you asked and Korra nodded “yeah why?”. Your mother tried to silence you but you didn’t notice, too excited. “She’s my cousin!” you burst “This is so great, i’m so proud of her”. “Wait so Suyin is your sister?” Korra asked Lin and your mother nodded “yes. Which is something I wished to remain a secret but clearly that is not an option anymore” she said shooting you a look. “Well this is great news” Korra smiled “you have to come with me!”. “What!” your mother cried and Korra sighed “if she’s your niece then you can help us recruit her! We need all the help we can get”. “No way!” Lin cried “I am not seeing my sister ever again if I can help it, y/n can go if you want a Beifong so badly”. Korra looked at you and smiled “that does sound appealing, what do you say y/n? Want to come on a field trip with me?”. Korra held out her hand to you and you blushed, hoping your mother didn’t notice. You knew you probably shouldn’t go. Being in close quarters with Korra would certainly challenge your restraint but you hadn’t seen your extended family in so long and this was the perfect opportunity to go visit. Plus Korra looked so good when she smiled at you like that. “Sure” you said taking her hand “someone has to keep you out of trouble”.

You met Korra and her friends at Future Industries the next day and were soon flying to Zafou. Korra came to stand beside you on the deck and leant forwards flexing her arms right in front of you. “I’m glad you agreed to come” Korra smiled and you nodded “me too, it’s been forever since I’ve got out of Republic City”. Korra’s eye glinted “does this mean I’m going to witness holiday y/n? It’d be fun to see you let your hair down and go wild”. “If you’re lucky maybe you will” you smirked and Korra nodded “i’m looking forward to it” and winked before leaving you alone once more. You stared after her as she walked away and Korra must’ve felt your eye on her because before she disappeared back into the ship she turned and caught you red-handed watching her. She smiled widely a chuckle slipping from her lips and you turned around sharply, blushing vividly. Agreeing to this trip may not have been a smart decision at all.

When you touched down in Zafou Korra had you right beside her in pride of place. You recognised your aunt immediately and she addressed Korra first before she spotted you beside her and she did a double-take. “Y/n?” she asked and you grinned “Aunt Suyin!” and rushed forwards to hug her. Your aunt wrapped you in a hug and then quickly tugged you to go find your cousins, momentarily forgetting the avatar was here. She summoned all your cousins and they rushed to greet you...well some did. Bataar junior didn’t look impressed and Huan just glanced at you not particularly bothered but the twins and Opal were very welcoming. “It’s so good to see you again!” Opal cried and you nodded taking her hand “it is! It’s been far too long and I can’t believe you’re an airbender now!”. Opal nodded “trust me it was a shock to us all but i’m so excited to learn airbending”. “Well Korra can definitely help you with that” you said gesturing to the avatar who nodded confidently “of course, anything for y/n’s cousin” and you blushed slightly but managed to hide it.

You enjoyed your time with your family greatly and got along well with all your cousins. You participated in Wei and Wing’s power disk game and being a good metal bender yourself almost won the match. You noticed Korra watching you and briefly tried showing off before getting wiped out. The twins noticed Korra watching and invited her to join but she declined explaining she couldn’t metal bend. Your cousins rushed to assure her she could learn and volunteered to teach her. Korra seemed very excited at the idea and agreed before she turned to you “wait a minute y/n why did you never offer to teach me?”. You could tell she was only feigning annoyance so you shrugged “what can you blame me for wanting something over the almighty avatar?”. That stroked Korra’s ego and she smiled lazily “no but I’ll certainly get my own back in some way”. “Ow really? How”? you challenged her and the girl just shrugged. “I’m not sure yet, but be on your best behaviour Beifong” she smirked before rushing away.

Korra went off to train with your cousins and you were relieved hoping this would be a time for you to cool down and recover but no. Opal caught you and invited you to catch up with her in the gardens. You of course obliged your cousin but found yourself seated directly in view of Korra’s training with your cousins. You tried focusing on Opal but your eyes kept getting pulled to the avatar as she picked up metal bending remarkedly quickly. You noticed Korra had spotted you and she appeared to be putting on a show, trying valiantly to challenge your cousin entirely for your benefit. It was a clever strategy and soon Opal trailed off just letting you admire Korra. Your cousins were experiencing first-hand just how skilled the avatar could be and you saw them breaking out in a sweat with how hard Korra was pushing them.

After a while they began trying to score past one another and Korra got an idea. She *accidentally* bent a disk near you and your cousin Wei teased her for being sloppy. She just shot them a lopsided grin and jogged over to you. “Ladies” she smiled looking straight at you “i’m sorry I didn’t see you there”. “Ow really?” you asked and Korra grinned “yeah I had no idea you were here whatsoever...which is odd considering how every eye is drawn to you whenever you’re nearby”. You blushed going red and Korra’s smile grew “I’ll leave you to your chat. Opal, Y/n” she nodded at you both in turn but winked when she met your gaze. You watched her run back to your cousins and found Opal staring at you. She immediately pushed you squealing “you didn’t tell me you were dating the avatar!”. “I’m not and keep your voice down please” you begged seeing the smug look on Korra’s face which told you she’d noticed Opal’s reaction. “But she was very openly flirting with you” Opal retorted and you nodded “I know we do that a lot but it’s just our friendship. I’d never let it go further because she’s the avatar! She’s not after a relationship she just wants a fun fling and I can’t give her that. Trust me the avatar will get bored of me and move on soon enough”. “Ow yeah?” Opal asked looking to where Korra was still putting on a show for you. Korra scored a point and shot you a smile. You blushed vividly and Opal laughed “I don’t think she’s not going cold on you any time soon”.

At the end of the week your Aunt Suyin threw a party to celebrate Opal’s progress and avatar’s arrival. It was magnificent and you hadn’t seen this much earth kingdom food in...well forever! You made sure Korra and the others were all okay and socialised with your cousins greatly enjoying being with your family. Bataar jnr told you about his machines, his girlfriend Kuvira traded military expertise with you, Wei and Wing quizzed you about all the pro-bending in Republic City, you teased Opal about her crush on Bolin and even Huan showed you some of his paintings. You were absolutely thrilled your family still felt like a family after all this time and hadn’t been this happy in a long time. However all that excitement can be draining. Towards the end of the night you began to grow tired so went outside for some fresh air and quiet. You were relaxing in the picturesque moonlight when you were disturbed. “Well your aunt certainly knows how to put on a spread” someone called and you jumped to find Avatar Korra making her way over to you on the abandoned balcony. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress and her eyes shone in the dark light. “She does” you smiled “never let it be said Beifong’s don’t know how to put on an event”. “That’s for sure” Korra agreed coming to sit right beside you. “The city is so beautiful” she commented before she turned “as are you”. “Thanks” you blushed “you look very beautiful too”. “There’s no way I can compete with you in that outfit” Korra smiled “Beifong’s apparently always look stunning as well as being great hostesses”. “Have you been checking out my aunt then?” you replied and Korra laughed “of course not, I only have eyes for you”. “Sureeee” you laughed but Korra nodded “I do I promise! You’re all I think about and why wouldn’t I? You’re the most interesting girl I’ve ever met. I’m crazy about you”. You blushed under Korra’s intense gaze but didn’t look away. “I....I don’t know what to say” you finally spoke up and Korra shrugged “well then how about we don’t bother talking anymore?”. Time seemed to freeze and you viewed the present in slow motion as Korra cupped your cheek gently and leant forwards. You liked the way her hands felt on you and instinctively leant into her before your brain caught up with the situation. “Wait! Korra I can’t” you said your heart hammering in your chest and the avatar frowned inches away from you. “You can’t? why? Do you not find me attractive?” Korra asked. “No of course I find you very attractive, i’ve never seen a human being I find more attractive than you” you admitted very flustered. “Then what’s the problem?” Korra asked and you sighed “the problem is I don’t just want to hook up with you a few times and be done with it. I know some people like that kind of thing and i’m sure as the avatar it is the perfect option but I’m not like that. Casual one night stands just aren’t my thing so I’m sorry I have to decline. Please don’t ask me again” and you rushed away. Korra called after you but you clearly wanted to be left alone so she didn’t follow you. She hung her head in her hands at how messed up things had gotten.

When Korra had allowed herself to wallow for a bit she came back inside to find the party over. She made her way to her shared room and found Asami waiting. “Korra where have you been we were all worried sick and...” Asami started when she caught sight of Korra’s expression and stopped abruptly. “What’s wrong?” Asami asked and Korra sighed “you gave me terrible advice that’s what!”. Korra explained the situation more and Asami felt awful. Being more experienced with relationships Korra had come to Asami for advice on how to approach her feelings for you and it hadn’t worked well. Given Korra’s past approach of blurting out her love for people without a second thought, Asami advised Korra to try a different approach with you but she hadn’t meant it so literally. Instead of being serious or passionate Korra had been entirely flirty and forward with you. No substance just fun. So you’d wrongly gotten the idea all Korra wanted was a fun fling when she actually was madly infatuated with you and wanted far more long term things with you. Asami wasn’t sure what she could do but seeing Korra so distraught she knew she had to try and help her friend.

So Asami made her way to your room hoping you wouldn’t mind such a late-night visit. Asami knocked on your door and heard movement inside. There was a pause before she heard you call “who is it?” nervously. “It’s Asami” she called back “I need to speak to you”. The door opened slowly and Asami saw you looked upset. “Did Korra send you”? you asked quietly “because she didn’t do anything wrong I just need some space”. “No she didn’t send me but I am here because of her, I need to confess something”. Your eyes widened in confusion but you nodded and let Asami into your room. The minute you turned to face her Asami burst ��It’s my fault! Korra came to me when she realised she liked you and asked me for advice. She was terrified of messing this up and doing what she did with Mako...with him she’d blurted out a lot of intense things right away and so I told her to do the opposite. I suggested she just toned down the seriousness and had fun with you. Flirt a little and try and gauge how you were feeling before she confessed her whole heart to you. But it seems she took my advice too much and now you don’t think her intentions are good at all which is not the case! Korra very much likes you for more than just your appearance and she has for a while”. You stared at Asami at an apparent loss for words “so Korra was...what acting?”. Asami shrugged “kind of, she was putting on this cocky flirty front when she’s actually a lot more emotional and sweet...she didn’t mean to come across so forward she was just following my advice which backfired horribly. I’m so sorry it upset you I promise that was not her intention at all. If you want to blame anyone blame me”. You assured Asami you weren’t upset with her and spent the next half hour understanding how the situation had gone so wrong. You were very excited by the end of it and couldn’t wait till morning to speak with Korra. Asami told you she was in their room and wouldn’t mind you disturbing her so late.

So you rushed to Korra’s shared room and knocked on the door lightly. Your stomach was bubbling with butterflies and you weren’t sure what you were going to say when you saw her. The door didn’t open so you knocked louder hoping Korra wasn’t asleep. Still there was no sound from inside so you frowned and decided she must be asleep. You didn’t want to wake her so started to retreat from the room when you heard a loud thud from inside. “Korra?” you called through the door “are you okay?”. You got no reply and were growing more and more concerned when you heard something smash inside followed by a grunt of pain. “Korra?” you yelled through the door and began bending the metal of the lock. The door swung open and you saw the room was an utter mess. Naga was unconscious on the floor and by the window...four people had a struggling Korra in their arms. She looked very weak and wasn’t putting up much of a fight so you figured she must’ve been drugged. “Korra!” you cried rushing into the room. You had no idea who these people were but you weren’t letting them take Korra. You launched into a flurry of attacks and managed to land a few hits on the earth and water bender. The air bender sent a gust which knocked you back but you were quick on your feet and pursued them leaping out of the window. You yelled as you chased them quickly attracting the attention of the guards who sounded the alarm. Suyin appeared as did her guard Kuvira and they helped cut the quartet off. “You have nowhere left to go, let her go” you glared and the leader just smiled “never”. You looked at Korra lying limp at their feet and felt rage take you. “Then i’ll drag her from you myself” and ran at him.

3 hours later

You were sat in the infirmary beside an unconscious Korra waiting for the effect of the drug to wear off. Everyone else had gradually retreated to bed but you couldn’t sleep. The adrenaline from the fight was still pulsing through your veins and was only overshadowed by your worry for Korra. You’d won the fight with the help of Suyin, her guards and Korra’s friends but still the drug they’d used hadn’t worn off. Your eyes fell to her for what felt like the hundredth time and you sighed “please wake up”. Finally Korra listened. With a loud gasp Korra jolted awake and you scrambled to your feet. “Korra breath! You’re okay, you’re safe just breathe!” you commanded and Korra slowly began to calm down. “Y/n? What happened?”. “The White Lotus, I didn’t realise it was them at first but i’ve been briefed on them. They tried to kidnap you when you were a kid and they tried again tonight”. You saw Korra shiver at that and frowned. “But never mind them” you sighed wrapping an extra blanket around her shoulders “how are you feeling?”. Korra frowned “okay...a bit groggy like i’ve come out of a really heavy sleep but it’s not too bad. It’s getting better. How are you?” she asked and you froze “me?”. “Yeah” Korra said offering you a small smile “you don’t look like you’ve slept a wink”. You chuckled softly “I haven’t. I wanted to see you wake up first and make sure you were okay. I haven’t been able to rest since it happened...I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw them with you I was so angry but you’re okay now and that’s all that matters". Korra smiled at you "yeah I'm okay now...thanks to you". It wasn’t the usual cocky smirks she sent you. Instead it was a sweet tired smile but it made your heart hammer in your chest just as much. "Do you remember much?" you asked and she shook her head. "No I remember something hitting Naga. I went to look at it when one hit me too. I backed away from the window as the world began to spin and then everything went blurry...the next thing I remember was seeing you in my doorway. You attacked whoever had me and I fell. I remember being unable to move and seeing you send rocks flying through the air. You were terrifying" she laughed "a woman possessed". "Of course I was they were going to take you! I know I might have sent mixed messages last night but I like you Korra. I was coming to tell you that. Asami explained to me what happened and why you behave as you do around me". Korra blushed at that "what were you coming to say to me?". "Well I was coming to ask if it was true, did you really put on a mask around me, acting all confident and promiscuous?". Korra nodded "yeah...I meant everything I said to you I wasn’t lying about my attraction but I was doing the opposite of what I'd usually do because my last relationship didn’t work out well. I came on too intense too quick so I tried to take a more fun carefree approach but that didn’t work. I'm sorry I offended you or made you think I was only interested in you for one thing. I do think you’re gorgeous but that's just one of many things I like about you and by no means the most important". Korra blushed looking down and you found her adorable. How had she hidden this side of her so well? "So is this, you know, the real you?" you asked double-checking. Korra nodded "yep, this is me. I'm emotional, reckless and I always say the wrong thing. I have no tact and just say what I'm thinking. Now you can probably see why I was trying to act so put together and impressive before. They're much more attractive qualities". "Maybe" you shrugged "but I think this side of you is just as attractive, more so actually because it's real and it's beautiful. You're wonderful Korra exactly as you are". Korra stared at you in shock and you just smiled at her. "I...I..." she babbled and you smirked "how about I kiss you to save you having to speak?". "Yes please" the avatar breathed and you gently placed a hand on her cheek and kissed her. The kiss was sweet and Korra seemed uncharacteristically shy. She pulled back blushing vividly and you smiled at her reaction "how was it?". "Good...amazing" she replied and you smiled "great". Korra looked up at you but blushed as soon as she met your eye and you smiled taking her hand softly "I like you Korra and that kiss was good for me too, if you’d like to make it a more frequent thing we could go out on a date sometime?". "I'd love that!" Korra agreed before wincing "too eager?". "No it was adorable like you" you smiled kissing her forehead "now it really is late. You should try and get some rest, something tells me the next few days are going to be very long and strenuous". Korra nodded "I agree, goodnight y/n". "Goodnight Korra" you smiled and closed her door softly. The avatar wasn’t a womaniser but a shy bashful passionate woman. You were pleasantly surprised and couldn’t wait to see all the different layers of her left to discover.

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Korra is 100% one of those people that’s all talk but is actually a huge softie romantically. Asami is one lucky lady (althought she’s also amazing so Korra is lucky too).

Also why is there so little Korra content out there? Her and Huan Beifong are very under-represented in the fanfiction game and I am personally offended by that 😂

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prof-peach · 3 years ago

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Hi professor!

(ooc)Wanted to say that I’ve been wanting to do a blog similar to this for a long time but I’ve never really gotten around to do this and have kinda been a bit nervous to make one. Now though, I’m in the works of planning things out and setting one up thanks to you and this blog (not a professor blog but still). You’ve been a big inspiration to me and I wanna thank you!

In the meantime though, I did want to ask, what’s your thoughts on Pokémon evolutions that happen while trading? It doesn’t seem natural to me and it does kind of confuse me a bit on how it could work like that.

I'm going to step out of Professor shoes and be a little ooc here to think about this is a broader sense, and explain how i look at them. From there you're welcome to elaborate, ignore, or use that as a basis for your own thoughts on it. Evolution via trade is just an evolution triggered by a large life change. This trigger is adaptable and poses as different thing, be it like the Anime, where we see a pokemon evolve to protect its trainer, or change forms to win an important battle, or impress a mate. Unlike games, we see this happen mid-scenario, not after gaining exp from a win or use of skill. This leads me to believe it’s the emotional state of the Pokemon that’s the true catalyst here.

In the wild, at least on this blog, I like to think of it like this:

Machamp who rule their pod, and look after their fellow machops and machokes will grow old, they eventually come to a point where a new leader must be selected. Their fellow pokemon will show their skills, and the chosen winner to take over the group will receive the dying machamp’s belt. That belt being handed over is enough to evolve the Pokemon, and for them to take their place as the new leader, with their new improved stats.

Onix tunnelling along underground may accidentally stray into a vein of the same rare metal that we produce metal coats with, enough of that metal will trigger their evolution. They may actively search for it, or it could be an accident.

Alakazam outsmart each other for fun, if they get smart enough, they too could just evolve out of accumulative experience.

A Pokemon risking itself to protect its family, trainer, or friends, can use its energy stores up (if they have enough of course) and force the evolution. If we see Pokemon rejecting and deciding not to evolve even without stones and items, then the theory stands that they can suddenly decide to tap into that power.

I believe in general there are a multitude of ways for Pokemon to evolve, not just the set in stone (pun sort of intended) ways we see in the games. For example, eevee. It’s evolutions are triggered by location. Flareon live in hotter climates, and flock to volcanoes, hot grassy plains, sweltering jungles, and even hot springs in some areas. They bring their young. Their young then evolve too eventually, through time spent in the area. No stones involved. You could argue there’s Firestone’s in the area perhaps, a vein underground? Sure. Maybe? But there also might not be.

Do we also ask the same questions of friendship evolutions? How do you measure that? What’s the unit for friendship? Feels to me like another evolution through life experiences, not all that different from a trade (leaving one trainer to join another, a pretty big event for anyone) if you ask me. It’s just like...I don’t know, it feels like a lot of evolutions are aided by items, are more successful with items, or would be a sure fire way to achieve it, but quietly, subtly, all Pokemon must gain exp and skills through simply living. For doing regular normal stuff day in day out. After a while, that energy equates to the stones, or the trade, or the item, and the Pokemon evolves without any fancy method.

Humans and trainers figured out how to speed run growing battle-ready Pokemon partners, to win money, stay safe, become famous, even commit crimes. We say Pokemon in the wild handling items or doing tasks and they just happened to come into contact with the right thing, and evolved. We now mass produce held items to aid this. Could argue there’s a strong financial reason for the lack of talk about ambient evolution as discussed above.

Gotta remember too, these were marketed video games, meant to be sold and to make money. The games would implement mechanics like evo-trades, to bring excitement to kids who had only one of the games as a kid, to get them to trade with other people who might be able to help them get those elusive evolutions for the games completion. Back then they developed this evo-via trade methods to encourage social gaming in children, amongst other things. It was widely thought of as a bit of a gimmick from what i've gathered. For this reason I’m a little flexible with the mechanic as a whole, it feels like a neat thing for kids to discover when trading Pokemon back when it was first brought in, Googling answers wasn’t so much of an option, you use to have to get a guide book, or ask someone who knew how. On average kids had to find out either by chance, or by word of mouth. It made people want to interact. Don’t we all have memories of our fav evo trade finally being ours when playing? It’s a great bit, people enjoyed it.

Take what you will from this, I got a little too into it, I think a lot about these things, but never have a reason to write it down....or try to haha! I'm glad you got going with your own blog, it's really nice to see so many people give it a go. We can all do with more content, and why not make what we want in the pokemon world right? its a lot of fun, creative, and can bring joy to others too. I see no down side.

#pokemon #prof.peach #peach talks #ooc #sort of #long post

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wearepurplejackets · 3 years ago

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Okay so leaks of 243 of Tokyo Revengers

...

Well guys, everybody RELAX,

Mikey can't win because he has created an elite team yeah, BUT WHERE IS THE THERAPIST MANJIRO?? WHERE??? wHERE IT IS???!!

the f*CK?!?! (spoilers will be screamed at your face, notgonnalie)

CAN WAKUI EXPLAIN ME WHAT THE F*CK IS HANMA DOING WITH MIKEY??? LIKE RIGHT NOW???

I understand he has lost himself and all, he is not the same, he is in the dark, (I care for you baby) blah blah, blah, impulses sh*t, blah and believe me: I LOVE HANMA'S CHARACTER.

BUT.

WHY MIKEY HAS JOINED FORCES WITH THE GUY WHO HELPED KISAKI TO KILL HIS OWN AND ONLY F*CKING SISTER??? AND IZANA TOO??? (AND Kakucho??? are you EVEN alive??? Are you OKAY with this?? HANMA HELPED TO ESCAPE THE GUY WHO KILLED YOUR ONLY FAMILY ON EARTH. AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SHOT YOU AND ALMOST KILLED YOU???) How Mikey did not know that??? It's impossible. Takemichi told him everything after the fight. What is he doing? isn't he even angry at him? Why did he keep him alive... It doesn't make sense that he doesn't care anymore about this. DID TENJIKU EVER EXISTED? AND WAKUI REMEMBERS IT? Cause I doubt it. Kanto Mikey is only angry at what he wants, what a call. (Keep your enemies closer I guess, is stupid...)

Something smells really bad in this gang... Something will destroy them, they are the opposite to the Tokyo Manji Revengers, they don't even care about each other and in the moment they will feel danger, they are leaving in no time (Not koko or sanzu, but the others, ha. Koko is there to watch anyway so.)

GOD I REALLY FEEL THIS LIKE A BETRAYAL TO THE POOR EMMA. AND TO DRAKEN TOO. I CAN'T.

Some people are betting Hanma Killed Draken in realise and not the guy of the mask, like if Hanma was with Rokuhara from the start. But where was he in the 3 deities battle?? I don't know what to believe anymore, I can't believe this manga Wakui, I need answers, cut a little with the plot twist please. I need sense... I still believe he is a kind of Shinigami or maybe he is related to the powers of time travel of Takemichi but... well, at least I'm happy he came back (not this way, and less to destroy more of Mikey's character logic but) so he could tell us what he said in Kisaki's grave months ago...

TELL ME WAKUI, TELL ME (i'm sorry i'm screaming, i just can't ), tell me this is a F*CKING PLOT TWIST. THAT THERE IS GONNA BE TREASON BETWEEN ALL THE KANTO MANJI, because all of them are in this gang FOR THE FEAR OF MIKEY'S ANGER!! because if not??? what are you doing? how takemichi can win if not??? The power of friendship I guess.

I understand Wakasa and Benkei are there so in the end they both join Senju. They are there to betray Mikey at some point from the inside. C'mon, Waka called Senju "Our princess". And Benkei and him taught her to fight. It would be ridiculous of them to face her like they don't even care, I won't buy that Ken.

Also, Takeomi?? You are OLD trash. Go with your sister and Takemichi, for the love of GOD, MOVE YOUR ASS.

i REALLY need to know if Hanma is wearing the black mask because Mikey had done with him the same he did with Sanzu, but on purpose, is horrible but at least it would make a little sense. Or that he beat Hanma to keep him in his gang and far away for his friends or... wtf... Maybe he is just wearing it cause the police is looking for him of course but, let me dream okay. (Ah, btw. The Kawata twins can sweep the floor with the Haitanis. I hope the crying Angry come back and destroy them all. FACTS. oR MAYBE ANGRY GET HURT AND SMILEY WILL GO CRAZY, GOD I WOULD LOVE THAT!!)

I hope Taiju could appear too to help our Michi... but... Well. You know? I don't know anymore anything, I tried it. But from this point I'm here just for the roller coaster cause... the author is crazy. I love him, but facts are facts.

I also must say that... I love the flag. I love they are the Tokyo Manji Revengers. We had it in the covers all this time, the symbol of Manji between the words Tokyo and Revengers... And the point they are having a rematch, the point of have a revenge of their last gang. I LOVE IT. And they are so handsome, I like it (but only that xd)

And the HAITANIS in black, and Mikey's small as sh*t... okay I loved that too. (I can't take it easy anymore, I adore this manga but I'm scared for what is going to happen too. Please don't ruin Mikey's character now Wakui. I really want to belive in you. I really wanto to believe in Takemichi. Don't leave me down, sir...)

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zuko-always-lies · 3 years ago

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What Ty Lee Being at the Circus Indicates About Her Relationship with Azula

Ty Lee begins ATLA at the circus. There is a lot we don’t know about how and why she ran away from home and joined the circus. We don’t even know precisely when she did it. We do get this explanation in “The Beach”:

Ty Lee: Do you have any idea what my home life was like, growing up with six sisters (cut to shot of Ty Lee) who look exactly like me? (she stands up) It was like, I didn't even have my own name. (she falls to the ground crying) I joined the circus because I was scared of spending the rest of my life as part of a matched set. At least, I'm different now. (close shot of teary-eyed Ty Lee) Circus freak is a compliment!

...

Mai: Attention issues. You couldn't get enough attention when you were a kid, so (looking downward) you're trying to make up for it now.

So, as far as we know Ty Lee was severely emotionally neglected in her household and felt particularly devalued due to having 6 identical siblings, and hence ran off to somewhere where she would feel more valued and receive positive attention. Everything here should feel pretty familiar(although I have some ideas about how Ty Lee’s decision to run away might have related to what was going on in the lives of Mai and Azula at the time, but I won’t discuss them here).

Now we turn to the Azula side of the story. People seem to forget this to a degree, but Azula decides to recruit her friends because the royal procession is unwieldly, her guards suck and just had their asses effortlessly kicked by Zuko and Iroh, and hence she needs “ a small, elite team” to accomplish her objectives. Ty Lee and Mai are maybe the 3rd and 4th most powerful individual combatants loyal to the Fire Nation at that point, so Azula’s choice makes a lot of sense. And, of course, Azula is willing to go to extreme lengths to get what she needs for her vital mission, but to some degree that’s outside the scope of what I’m discussing here.

Anyways, let’s turn to Azula and Ty Lee’s reunion. Azula knows exactly where Ty Lee is and has no trouble finding her circus or her, so it seems likely that the two of them have kept in contact to some degree since Ty Lee’s flight. In this engage happens:

Azula: Ty Lee, could that possibly be you?

Ty Lee: Azula!

Ty Lee: It is so good to see you!

Azula: Please, don't let me interrupt your ... [Raises an eyebrow in wonder.] whatever it is you were doing.

Azula: [Glances around.] Tell me, what is the daughter of a nobleman doing here? [Looks back at Ty Lee.] Certainly our parents didn't send us to the Royal Fire Academy for Girls to end up in ... [Looks to her side.] places like this.

Azula looks as three men are trying to move a platypus bear. The Bear groans and moves up to reveal that it has laid an egg. Azula looks at this in disgust and turns her attention back to Ty Lee, grinning once more.

This is a joyous reunion. Azula struggles to understand why Ty Lee likes being at the circus, but from overall tone of the interaction, it very much seems like Ty Lee didn’t run off behind Azula’s back in the first place(although it’s possible that Ty Lee had not decided on ending up in a circus when she ran away in the first place). Azula also expresses the opinions that the circus is a bad place for Ty Lee to be and that Ty Lee is dishonoring her parents by being there(East Asian cultures traditionally place an enormous importance on filial piety, and Azula seems to buy into this fully).

So we’re looking at a sequence of events where Ty Lee goodbye to Azula(and possibly Mai if Mai is still in Caldera) and explains what she’s doing, runs away from home, and then joins the circus, with Azula knowing where Ty Lee is the whole time and believing that her friend is making a bad mistake.

What’s the significance of this all? Azula is royal, she’s crown princess, and she has substantial power in court, perhaps more than anyone other than Ozai. There’s even an easy argument that she could make to Ozai that Ty Lee is very useful as a sparing partner and has combat skills Azula should pick up. It wouldn’t be hard for Azula to get Ty Lee forbidden from leaving Caldera by order of the Firelord, or to get an imperial order demanding that Ty Lee return home.

We don’t know if Azula actively (if reluctantly) aided Ty Lee running away, or if she merely allowed it. But Azula is someone who easily had the power to force Ty Lee to stay in Caldera or to force Ty Lee to return home, yet she didn’t, even though Ty Lee and Mai are Azula’s only support network.

Moreover, Azula is quite possibly the only authority figure(despite likely being younger. Power differentials are bad for friendships, OK?) who actually legitimately cares about Ty Lee’s wellbeing, yet she witnesses Ty Lee deciding to do something Azula thinks is a horrible mistake, and she lets Ty Lee do it?

It’s starting to look like Azula wasn’t nearly as controlling of her friends pre-canon as people are convinced she was.

#Azula #Ty Lee #Dangerous Ladies #Meta #ATLA #ATLA meta

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hyenahunt · 3 years ago

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Secret Service: GLOBALISM - 1

Writer: Akira

Season: Winter

Characters: Madara, Nagisa, Ibara, Gatekeeper

Proofreading: bakemonoremy (JP) & Skyress (ENG)

Translation: haranami

Madara: I can’t become a hero. I don’t have the right to — not after I’ve dirtied my hands.

Location: Temple Zero

[The following day. At Temple Zero, part of the Shikoku pilgrimage.]

Madara: Hahaha! We’re hereee! This is the legendary Temple Zero, part of the famous Shikoku pilgrimage!

Please refrain from taking photos! Otherwise, some scary people might sneak up on you and take you away! Class dismissed!

Nagisa: …It’s hard to laugh at the jokes you tell, Madara-kun.

Ibara: My, it’s far more dilapidated than I expected.

I was aware that this “Temple Zero” had been abandoned, but look: some parts are overrun with moss, and others have completely crumbled.

Madara: Yup! I bet the whooole building would fall apart in seconds if you kicked up too much of a fuss, so you miiight not wanna make any wild movements!

Ibara: That should be my line. I need you to behave yourself.

Thank you for showing us the way. We can take it from here, though; you’re free to leave if you’d like.

Madara: Hahaha! Don’t be silly! I’m interested in the Godfather’s big secret too, and it should be easier to investigate if you’ve got more people on board.

Ibara: The bigger the secret, the greater the risk — you might be putting yourself in mortal danger. But very well.

(There would be outrage indeed if the general public ever found out about the deeds Mikejima-shi has committed as Double Face.)

(It wouldn’t be a very pretty situation for me, either — I’m deeply involved with them, and occasionally I’ve even been something of a co-conspirator.)

(However, if such a time ever does come, I’ve made preparations to cut all ties with him.)

(I’ve covered up my involvement with the elimination of GFK, so I can use Mikejima-shi as a sacrifice to guarantee my own safety.)

(Yes, that’s what I’ll do in the worst case scenario. But, at the moment, he’s still a useful pawn; it’d be best to keep our relationship amicable.)

Madara: (Hahaha. He’s smiling and looking all friendly on the surface, but I bet there’s nothing but darkness underneath.)

(I don’t really mind that, though. We’re just working together ‘cause our interests happen to align.)

(It’s pretty common for villains to join forces and conspire together in American comics and stuff.)

(But when they team up, they end up getting defeated most of the time. Even though they’re strong enough to overpower the heroes on their own.)

(And that’s because…)

(Villains care about themselves the most.)

(They prioritize their own interests, try to outsmart the very people they’ve joined hands with, and fall apart halfway through in a mess of mutual betrayals… And so, the group of villains crumbles in on itself.)

(Then, naturally, the heroes all band together and destroy them for good with the power of friendship.)

(I can’t become a hero. I don’t have the right to — not after I’ve dirtied my hands. Basically, I’m already stuck on the bad guys’ side.)

(So I at least wanna be a strong villain who’ll be able to survive till the very end.)

Nagisa: …Madara-kun. I believe you said that the temple’s main hall leads to a secret underground area, correct?

…And there’s the possibility that Ibara or I would be able to pass the authentication test.

Madara: Yup. We won’t know till we try, though. Maybe it was set to only allow the Godfather himself in.

Nagisa: …In that case, all our efforts would go to waste. We’d have no choice but to be good sports and turn back.

Madara: Or we could try a couple other things, like blowing the door apart. I’ve more or less made preparations for getting us in by force.

Nagisa: …That’s right. There were a wide range of things stored in the trunk of the truck you were driving. It almost feels like you were ready to lay siege to a castle.

Madara: “Lay siege to a castle,” huh? Hahaha! That’s a peeerfectly fitting phrase! We’re trying to raid the Godfather’s secret base, and it’s considered to be inviolable! We need to at least have that much fighting spirit!

Nagisa: …How exciting. I’m really looking forward to this.

…Father was quite taciturn, so I didn’t know much about him. It’d make me very happy to learn more about what he was like as a person.

…Come, let’s make haste. The entrance to the underground room might be— oh, is this it?

Ibara: Ahhh! Please don’t rush ahead, Your Excellency! There might be traps lying in wait!

Madara: Hahaha! It’s getting really lively! I’m having a blast — this is exactly what exploring Shikoku should feel like!

Gatekeeper: …Oh, really? What a shame that your fun little party ends here.

Ibara: …!?

Gatekeeper: What’re you lot doing in a place as desolate as this? Poor, poor kids… Are you lost? Your mommies and daddies must be worried to death.

✦✦✦✦✦

← prev ✦ all ✦ next →

#enstars #enstars translation #ensemble stars #s: secret service #hyenahunttl #era: !!#type: event #ibara saegusa #nagisa ran #madara mikejima

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dreamwritesimagines · 3 years ago

Note

i KNEW something was coming after all the fluff we got from you last chapter- i would like to blame everyone asking for angst bc i did NOT ask for this- honestly cherie should've just joined cecily and elias and hugh at the trenloves' house :(( and to think it started so happy!! you play with our feelings dream 😭😭 anyway i'll TRY to comment on the lines as i did when i was first reading them but the later knowledge and HEARTBREAK will make it harder for me :((

“We will go there earlier for preparations,” the Duke said. “Us, Miss Cecily’s family and the Bridgertons.” okay this was a bad idea BEFORE the thing in the study happened smh it's Iike they WANT anthony and cherie to have their little affair

Maybe you could be unchaperoned again. cherie i know this is offensive but honestly you ARE acting like a walking scandal rn-

“She just told me to come and get her if she doesn’t come here by noon,” Elias said and grinned. “So I will go and get my future wife by the noon.” elias is honestly the cutest when in love i knew there was a reason i always used to prefer mr bingley over mr darcy (something that has been ruined by having to extensively analyse the text 😭😭 i still love mr bingley a LOT though)

The Duke took a look at him over the newspaper he was reading. “You did shout it out of the windows last night, Elias.” the duke is once again being iconic af i love him

“I’m drunk on happiness,” Elias said. “I am to marry the love of my life, I think the whole London should know that. Can you believe that she agreed to marry me? Me!” elias being mr bingley aka a golden retriever aka the cutest human being alive 2.0 also this just reminded me of that one scene in pride and prejudice (2005) where bingley is seen to be practicing his proposal to jane with mr darcy and if that wasn't last chapter- (yes im ignoring the angst my reminding myself of the fluff before)

Maybe it would make him think about you and him. Since you were lovers now, it was obvious that his approach to love was changing and surely seeing a wedding would make him rethink about marriage proposals as well. do you know how HEARTBREAKING this is to read after the study scene?? dO YOU??

“Five weeks and then I will have ultimate happiness.” Elias grinned and you and the Duke exchanged glances, unable to stop smiling at the look of utter delight on Elias’s face. okay but the duke and cherie finally bonding and it being over elias's happiness is the cutest thing to happen ever hopefully this whole thing with anthony will at least bring her closer to her family?? hopefully??

“Y/N, I don’t know anything about this,” she whispered. “I was not raised to be a marchioness let alone a duchess, I do not have the training that Lady Miriam had for example.” awww i feel so bad for cecily she's BETTER than miriam and comparing herself will only make her sad :(( she deserves better than feeling like this :((

“My lord?” Elias sounded almost offended all of a sudden. “Cece, I think we can drop the formalities now, I don’t want to be called my lord by the love of my life.” every time elias says love of my life my own life force is renewed again and i believe in the power of love and friendship to conquer all

Elias didn’t even blink as he turned to Cecily. “We can just round that up to ten?”

actual footage of elias leaked

“Considering how right I was about this union, I do not understand how you two keep fighting me on anything, honestly. Everyone should just always do what I say without question to save us time.” i mean to be fair she isn't WRONG-

“Would you excuse me and my betrothed for a moment sister? I’d like to make sure I convinced her.” i know we keep on calling anthony a slut but damn this entire friend group just consists of manwhores huh

You were almost halfway done with her list of basic needs for her when she knocked on the door and opened it, making you look up. Her hair was slightly disheveled compared to a couple of minutes ago, there was an excited gleam in her eyes and her lips were swollen as if— you know my first reaction was oh shit cecily will find out in no time now that she knows the pleasures of kissing and the appearances afterwards but i guess she won't find out soon after all!!

“Um—Elias and I will go by my house together to talk to Hugh, would you like to join us Y/N?” once again she should've just joined them dream this is an unrealistic reader i would have taken any possible chance to spend more time with hugh-

“No one can be unkind to you,” he said, his voice quiet with fury, a dark shadow playing in his eyes, “Ever.” yknow i was going to say something about this being hot or something like that but i can't anymore it's too sad now

“Do you remember what you were like when I started courting Daphne?” Anthony rolled his eyes at him. “I remember very well what you were like, Simon.” okay all things aside i love simon standing up for cherie as if she's his own sister she deserves an army of older brothers (i'm pretty sure once hugh gets a gist of what went down he'll join the cherie protection squad)

You held your breath, looking at Anthony who looked way too uncomfortable all of a sudden. the look of a man who knows he's about to be EXPOSED

Elias had done what? okay but to be fair elias TOLD her he asked all of his friends to dance with her and planned it perfectly

“I’d die for Eli but that girl is a walking scandal,” Simon cut him off, making you pull back, your stomach churning in pain. “Your words, not mine. You said and I quote, God knows what example she got from her mother while she was in France, and I’ll have to dance with her.” okay but IMAGINE if cherie was somehow in england earlier and had SOMEHOW overheard it- it would for real be pride & prejudice 2.0 with elizabeth overhearing darcy and him falling in love within 2 seconds of actually meeting her

“But there are no games,” Simon’s voice snapped you out of the haze of anger. “Are you sure about that?” i will once again say go simon!! yeah you're ruining this whole ship but out of wanting to protect our girl!! this is theoretically a good thing!!

“I’ll see you in the drawing room, Daphne and I have news for the whole family.” okay but a baby?? possibly?? yes i know it's off topic but??

“No one can be unkind to me, is that right?” you managed to say through frozen lips and he stepped closer to you, making you step back. this is the exact moment people could HEAR my heart break my poor cherie :(( just marry hugh he never would've said anything like this

“I’ll scream,” you bluffed, glaring up at him, trying to wring your arm out of his grip. “People will find us here unchaperoned, and you will have to marry me then.” you know it's so so sad that she was so convinced it'd be like an actual punishment for him

“Go ahead,” he dared you, a shadow crossing his eyes. “I think Simon is still within earshot. I’ll get the special license, we will be married in a week. So go ahead and scream, get everyone here.” it's even more sad that if they had married now there would've been NO way of convincing cherie ever again that he loved her-

“I never want to see you—” your voice echoed through the foyer, your accent getting stronger, “Or talk to you again, ever!” Oh No™ we know shit is about to go down if something echoes through the foyer

Lady Bridgerton, Eloise and Benedict were by the stairs, completely frozen at the sight of you two but Lady Bridgerton was the first to overcome her shock. okay but these are also like the three WORST possible people in the house to catch them- (save for like simon 😭😭) i cannot wait to find out their reaction after they actually had time to process this

“Anthony,” she said, her voice possessing a forced calmness in it, “Let go of her at once.” oh she's like MAD mad like anthony is going to be in real trouble very soon- that said, will we have an extra scene/headcanon of the aftermath in the bridgerton house??

“You will have to excuse me Eloise, I will not be joining you and Pen today,” you managed to say before turning to Anthony. “But I suppose that’s a good thing. After all, you wouldn’t want to be seen with a walking scandal, would you?” okay shots FIRED i don't want them to fight but also i can't wait to see more of cherie roasting the shit out of anthony

You didn’t even wait for anyone to say anything as you turned around and stormed out of the house, the last thing you heard before the door closed behind you was Eloise’s voice rising in anger: “Anthony, what did you say to her?” okay yeah anthony is going to be verbally beaten up by like half of his family isn't he- i kinda feel bad for him even though he deserves it?? like he has GROWN cherie pls don't be stupid for long-

“Is everything alright?” Lucie asked softly as she reached out to rub at your back, trying to calm you down and you let out a breath, biting inside your cheek until you tasted blood. oh no :(( knowing cherie she'll try to keep this hidden from cecily too as to not deprive her of any happiness in this period so once again she'll only have lucie to lean on and though i love their friendship cherie probably needs a licensed therapist at this point

thank you for this chapter (though it broke my HEART) and i hope you won't mind me walking over to team hugh once again <33 anthony needs to go stand in a corner and think about what he's done but cherie needs to realise people can change their minds about things she's a stubborn ass and though we've been comparing elias and anthony to mr bingley & mr darcy, cherie has some of elizabeth bennet in her too!! anyway i'll stop analysing all the intertextuality considering i've been obsessed with pride and prejudice these past days and would find dozens of connections where there technically are none- anyway, i am ACHING for the next chapter!! have a wonderful few days until then <33

Omg Merel loveeee!❤❤

Angst is going to be so much fun😏

I feel like if what happened didn’t happen, it was going to be very easy for Anthony and Cherie to sneak around at Stormview because Anthony has been there multiple times when he was a kid, he knows all the secret passages and what leads where😈

Cherie had plans!💔

Wait why was Mr Bingley ruined for you? I’m curious!😱😱

Elias is definitely a golden retriever lollll😂

Cherie was actually hoping he would proposeeee and then….😈💔

Cecily is going to be under so much pressure but luckily he has Elias who worships the ground she walks on❤❤

Elias has zero idea about how gown shopping works, he just throws money at modiste whenever he’s told😂

i know we keep on calling anthony a slut but damn this entire friend group just consists of manwhores huh I AM DYING AT THIS-😂

YES! DEFINITELY YES!😂

And that was their first kiss!❤❤

once again she should've just joined them dream this is an unrealistic reader i would have taken any possible chance to spend more time with hugh OMG I JUST-😂

she deserves an army of older brothers (i'm pretty sure once hugh gets a gist of what went down he'll join the cherie protection squad) Oh I think she will have it and when Hugh hears…😏

Oh yeah, Elias told her but he didn’t say he forced Anthony😏

Everything between them would’ve been over before it started if she heard it before😱😱

just marry hugh he never would've said anything like this He really would’ve never said anything like that, you’re right!❤❤❤

Omg yeeeees! She was convinced that would be a punishment and-

Can you imagine if they did end up getting married? Like, if she screamed? 😱That would be so complicated and there’d be so much angst, I love this idea!😍❤

All 3 of them will be furious with Anthony!😏

Yessss, we will have a HC with it! It’s coming today!❤❤❤

Things changed for him for sure, like he has grown but implying that about her mother…. Like, Cherie is extremely sensitive about that😏

cherie probably needs a licensed therapist at this point SHE REALLY DOES!😂

Wait you’re team Hugh again?😂❤

Elizabeth Bennet is awesomeee and I totally see what you mean!❤❤

Omg darling this is absolutely amazing, I LOVE THIS! THANK YOU SO MUCH, ILY!❤❤❤

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nevertheless-moving · 4 years ago

Text

Suicidal Misunderstanding XI

Part I - - - - - Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV - - - - - Part V - - - - - Part VI - - - - - Part VII - - - - - Part VIII - - - - - Part IX - - - - - Part X

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Anakin left his first ‘soul healing’ appointment feeling on edge. They hadn’t even discussed anything important! The healer mostly talked at him, giving him rules for future sessions. They had barely touched on the reason he was there, which was both a relief and slightly irritating. ...He was a little uncertain what to do with him time now.

Obi-Wan hadn’t responded to him at all during his visit that morning, laying motionless in an apparently self-induced coma, and he wasn’t allowed to sit with him again until the evening. He wasn’t allowed to look at anything to do with the war until Mace cleared him. Returning to his and Obi-Wan’s quarter’s was still unthinkable, even though he knew he’d have to go back at some point before Ashoka landed on planet.

The Chancellor had left him several messages inviting him for a visit, but he was dragging his feet, despite the serious temptation of an always comforting father-figure. The thought of actually seeing the man made him feel practically sick with anger and betrayal. Obi-Wan had been convinced that Palpatine was trying to tear them apart. And while Anakin didn’t quite believe that... he had told Obi-Wan about what he had done after his mother’s death. Maybe someday, when Obi-Wan was better, he would be able to believe it was all for the best, but for now...he was just angry.

He hadn’t really been angry at the man before, and didn’t enjoy the sensation.

Padme had told him she would be working from home as much as possible the next few days. While he didn’t want to be an annoyance, there wasn’t really anyone else he could turn to for advice or comfort right now, and she seemed almost as desperate for the reassurance of his company as he was of hers...and the Master of the Order seemed to at least tolerate their relationship, even if he didn’t know all the details.

He arrived at her apartment and promptly collapsed on the couch.

“Is it alright if I join you?” Padme asked softly.

Anakin smiled at her. “More than alright”

She sat down. He shifted so she could lean against him comfortably.

“Do you want to talk right now, or should I do some paperwork?” she asked neutrally.

He groaned. “It’s- I’m not sure if I’m being immature. Should I go see Palpatine?”

She stiffened. “The Chancellor? I- I thought we had specifically agreed not to talk about him if we could help it. Have his politics started to bother you?” she asked dryly.

He rolled his eyes. “No, I still believe he’s the best chance for ending the war quickly- you know my friendship with him is personal, not political.”

“This is a personal problem then. Does it...have something to do with Obi-Wan? Are you not supposed to tell him about- what happened?”

“No, I’m sure the council’s already informed him, he is the Chancellor, after all; they would have to tell him if a High General was out of commission,” he replied, a touch bitterly.

“But it does have something to do with Obi-Wan,” she nudged.

“Yeah. It- he was the one who told Obi-Wan. About me. With the Raiders.” he ground out, suppressing a flash of anger.

“Oh. Oh! I didn’t realize he knew. He- had he urged you to tell Obi-Wan before?” she asked, slightly guilty.

“No!” Anakin snarled back. “He swore to keep it a secret, told me that my revenge was justified.”

“I’m sorry- the Chancellor of the Republic told you that what you did was justified? Padme sounded shocked and Anakin turned to her with wide eyes.

“Do you...you told me you understood...but...we’ve never really talked about it since it happened, have we?” He replied miserably.

She pulled away, heart pounding. “Anakin...do you think what you did was justified?”

He looked down “At the time I told myself it was...but I don’t know. Even right after...I thought about the kids. You have no idea how much clearer everything seems when your channeling the force with anger even though afterwards...I told myself they were animals but...I...when I was talking to Obi-Wan I realized that...I think I was just scared that if the order ever found out I’d lose everything which made me angry...And the Chancellor agreed that animals sometimes needed to be put down...and you said you understood.” He looked up at her uncertain.

She let out a sigh of relief. Of course Anakin knew his action’s were wrong, if he was so torn up about it. She took his hands in hers, stroking softly.

“Anakin...I know it’s not exactly the same, but I do understand wanting revenge. I helped personally liberate and clean up many of the trade federation camps. I buried the rotting corpses of my people, who I left to die- then returned back to my office to watch Nate Gunray get out on parole. If someone had handed me the power to kill every single Neimodian at the right moment-” She let out a breath, seething.

“But...no one did. I couldn’t have gotten revenge like that, even if I had wanted to. And now...gods Anakin, understanding why isn’t the same as saying it’s justified- I might still hate the trade federation, but that doesn’t mean that every Neimoidian is guilt of their crime, no matter my personal feelings. I really, truly don’t know what to say about the Chancellor telling you what he did, or keeping your secret, or breaking your trust.”

They sat in silence for a moment as he digested everything.

“I...think I get what you mean about separating out justifying and understanding. Maybe that’s what he meant, and I just wasn’t smart enough to realize what he was saying at the time. I want to ask him, but I’m still mad and... I just don’t want to lose my friend because I’m angry.” he finished unhappily.

She sighed, then pressed a delicate kiss to his cheek.

“Then tell him that. Leave him a message. A friend would understand holding off a conversation while you’re upset. And a politician should certainly understand holding back your feelings so they don’t dictate your actions.”

He smiled at her, “How did you get so wise?”

“I was a Queen, you know,” she replied haughtily.

“Oh a Queen, I hadn’t realized, do forgive my impertinence,” he said cheekily, pulling her closer.

She pushed him back. “Message first. He’s almost certainly in a Senate committee meeting right now, it’s the perfect time.”

He relented. They briefly hashed out what he was going to say. Then she drifted to the other room while he pulled out his mobile official senatorial comm-link, biting his lip nervously.

Much to his dismay, the Chancellor picked up on the last ring, holo opening up.

“Anakin, my boy! So good to hear from you; I had been getting worried. How are you?

Steeling himself, Anakin launched into their prepared monologue.

“Chancellor, you of all people know that I struggle with anger; I’m trying to work on not allowing it to dictate how I act towards those I value. That being said, in the interest of preserving our friendship and until Obi-Wan is fully healed, I think it’s best we avoid unnecessary communications.”

“Anakin! I don’t-” Palpatine tried to reply, but Anakin cut him off.

“Thank you again for your understanding. I will of course diligently reply to any military or professional requests sent through the proper channels.”

Anakin closed the connection with a click, heart pounding. The comm immediately lit back-up.

“What do I do?” he asked Padme, feeling nauseous.

Was this the right choice? Surely his friend would understand. He didn’t want to yell at the Chancellor just because he was still working through Obi-Wan’s issues and his issues with Obi-Wan! Or was he just acting out of fear? Maybe the Chancellor could help.

He started to reach for the comm, but Padme snatched it from the table first. She threw it to the ground, delicately lifted the hem of her dress, then pierced it with the heel of her shoe. It stopped mid trill.

“Let’s go to bed.”

“I love you.” He replied, looking at her adoringly.

“I know.”

Next (Part XII)

#star wars #my au #suicidal misunderstanding au #star wars au no 27 #anidala #star wars au #TALK #ABOUT #YOUR #THOUGHTS #AND #FEELINGS #YOU #KRIFFING #IDIOTS #YES #YOU TOO #PADME

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aspoonofsugar · 4 years ago

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I hope this is not too much of a hassle but by any chance could you do an analysis on Watts, Tyrian, and Hazel.

Hello anon!

Sure, no problem :) I think I have shared some thoughts on these three characters in other metas, but I’ll get this chance to organize them and to put them all together.

In general, I would say Watts, Tyrian and Hazel are not extremely deep characters and they mostly work as foils to others, drive subplots in specific arcs and highlight themes.

Here is a list of their major narrative roles, as for now.

1) They symbolize three parts of Salem:

Each member of Salem’s inner circle represents one side of her.

Watts is her entitlement.

Tyrian is her desire of destruction for the sake of destruction.

Cinder is her wish to be free.

Hazel is her inability to grieve.

They are Salem’s three flaws. The reasons why she ends up the way she is.

Salem’s journey starts because she is unable to grieve:

Salem: No! No! What did you do?! BRING HIM BACK!

And because she feels she deserves better than others:

God of Light: When you first came to me, I did pity you. But it is clear now that your selfishness and arrogance have led you astray.

Finally, she enters the pool of Darkness and embraces destruction:

Jinn: Instead, it created a being of infinite life with a desire for pure destruction.

At the same time, Tyrian and Hazel also represent Salem’s inability to understand the cycle of life and death:

God of Light: You must learn the importance of life and death. Only then may you rest.

The cycle is about loving life and accepting death. However, Salem initially refuses death (like Hazel) and then starts despising life (like Tyrian)

Interestingly, Hazel is eventually able to understand Gretchen’s choice:

Hazel: I'm doing what Gretchen would have done!

And dies sacrificing himself for others, just like Gretchen did.

I wonder if Tyrian’s death will be something which will instead be linked to him finally aknowledging the importance of life. Since Tyrian is a very negative character (and I do not think he will have a redemptive or particularly empowering death) it might be something as simple as him begging for his life.

2) Watts, Hazel and Tyrian all act as the main secondary villain of a specific arc and they are linked to the main theme of that arc.

a) Hazel fights in the Battle of Heaven and he is linked to Knowledge:

Oscar: Did she know the risk of being a Huntress?

Hazel: She was only a child! She wasn't ready!!

Oscar: She made a choice!

Knowledge is complementary to Choice. It is what you must aquire to choose wisely. However, initially Hazel does not understand it. He dismisses Gretchen’s choice as a her being tricked and he himself lacks the knowledge to make the right decision.

This is why his turning sides is linked to the relic of Knowledge:

Jinn: Why, hello again, old man. Did you have a question for me?

Hazel: Actually, I think all my questions are answered now.

He finally understands the truth and is able to choose:

Oscar: What are you going to do?

Hazel: What Gretchen would have done.

b) Watts displays his hacking abilities to its fullest in the Atlas Arc. This connects him to the theme of Creation and in particular to its negative declination aka Control:

Cinder: You said in your message that you have control over Penny.

Watts: I said I had Penny under control, not that I could telekinetically force her to do whatever I want.

He hacks Penny and overwrites her will. Moreover, he himself ends up manipulated and “controlled” by Cinder:

Cinder: You deserve this, Arthur. We'll be back.

c) Tyrian has roles both in the Mistral Arc and in the Atlas Arc. However, he misses from the climaxes of both, so I think he will be important in Vacuo and maybe he’ll find his death in that arc. Moreover, the theme of Destruction seems to fit his character.

Finally, when it comes to themes, Hazel, Tyrian and Watts all explore the theme of trust (aka one of the main themes of the Atlas Arc) in a minor way.

To be more specific, the theme of trust is explored throughout the story in different ways. I have explained it better here and here.

It is interesting because the theme of trust is explored starting with Ozpin, Oscar’s foil, who does not trust others, so our protagonists feel betrayed. However, in Atlas they find themselves in Ozpin’s shoes and must choose if to trust Ironwood or not.

Here, we explore a form of conditional trust. This idea is presented by Ruby, who wants to be sure it is safe to trust Ironwood. So she keeps secrets and studies him until she decides she can trust him… only to discover that was not the case immediately after. This happens because trust can never be completely safe. Actually, in its most negative declination, this kind of trust becomes the control symbolized by Ironwood.

No matter what, trust is always a leap of faith. This is why trust is a risk. Oscar shows this concept well. He decides to still trust Ironwood at the end of volume 7, but it does not work. Still, he does not stop and decides to trust Emerald and Hazel. This time his trust and faith are repaid. He is fred and gains a new ally.

Anyway, even if trust is worth it, the exploration of this theme in Atlas actually ends on a negative note. It ends with Cinder who is an enemy of trust because she uses others’ trust and feelings against them.

In short, we are shown what trust is through Oscar, what it happens when there is no trust through Ozpin and how trust can be twisted and manipulated through Cinder.

Well, Hazel, Watts and Tyrian explore these same ideas in their subplots.

Tyrian takes advantage of the lack of trust among Robyn, Clover and Qrow:

Tyrian: It's taking a very long time for this show to get to the good part.

He exploits it and manages to kill Clover because of it.

Hazel shows the power of trusting others instead:

Oscar: You want him to trust us? Then trust me.

Oscar’s trust makes him willing to listen and later on he decides to help the kids escape.

Finally, Watts is used and discarded by Cinder, who fakes trust and friendship towards him and Neo.

3) Hazel, Tyrian and Watts all foil a member of Ozpin’s group and show their flaw in a clearer way.

Hazel foils Ozpin himself:

Hazel: He didn't tell you my tale, did he, boy? I thought you looked familiar, to think that evil was inside you when our paths first crossed. Your blood won't be on my hands, it'll be on his.

On one hand Hazel accuses Ozpin of sending kids to their deaths, while hurting children himself. On the othet hand Ozpin speaks about the importance of making choices, but does not give all the knowledge necessary to make an informed choice. So, both characters earnestly believe in their ideals, but they are also hypocrites about them.

Watts foils Ironwood.

Watts accuses Ironwood of having used his genius only to dismiss him later on and does not aknowledge how he himself has taken advantage of Atlas society that leaves those below (like Cinder) to rot. Moreover, both Ironwood and Watts frame themselves as rational, but lose precisely because they dismiss the importance of feelings for both manipulation (Watts) and trust (ironwood).

Finally, Tyrian foils Qrow.

In particular, Tyrian embodies Qrow’s self-destructive tendencies, which are Qrow’s true flaw. As a matter of fact Qrow ends up hurt in both fights (the first tiem physically, while the second time emotionally) not because Tyrian is stronger than him. He ends up hurt because of his flaw.

In Mistral, his misunderstanding with Ruby leads to him being poisoned. This happens because Qrow is so scared of his semblance that he keeps others away and does not explain himself.

In Atlas, his cynism leads him to make a pact with Tyrian and this leads to Clover’s death.

4) Finally, Hazel, Watts and Tyrian all foil a member of CEM:

I have discussed Emerald and Mercury’s foiling with Hazel and Tyrian here and here.

Hazel and Tyrian step in as Emerald and Mercury’s parental figures once Cinder leaves them behind.

Hazel is Emerald’s positive parental figure, but he is blinded by his flaw, just like she is.

Tyrian is Mercury’s negative parental figure, but he also tells the boy truths he needs to accept.

At the same time, Hazel is what Emerald really wants (an adult who looks out for her), while Tyrian is who Mercury thinks he wants to be (a big bad man). In both cases, they are not what Emerald and Mercury really need. Emerald must learn to be more independent, while Mercury needs to nurture his positive relationship(s).

I have discussed Cinder’s foiling with Watts here, here and here.

Watts embodies Cinder’s flaw (her hunger for power) enveloped in everything she hates, but also deep down envies (being an Atlas elites).

It is interesting that Watts is not really a mentor figure for Cinder (differently from Hazel and Tyrian for the murder kids). He is a colleague, so they are on equal footing. Interestingly, though, they both try to discredit the other and to act as the other’s superior.

In general, this is another way to convey that Cinder is less child-coded than the two kids she took in.

At the same time, it shows how Atlas makes relationships between equals difficult because in Atlas everyone always tries to be on top and discards the ones below.

5) Hazel, Watts and Tyrian’s arcs, when they exist, are very short and simple.

Moreover, they are built on what ifs.

What would happen if Hansel lost Gretel?

He would stay a prisoner of the Witch forever, until he manages to free himself doing what his sister would have done:

In a sense, Gretchen still frees Hazel, not physically like in the fairy tale, but psychologically because she inspires him.

What would happen if Watson were envious of Sherlock?

He would join Moriarty and end up consumed by his own envy:

Watts is shown eating a green apple while controlling a falling Atlas. This is interesting because Atlas is the house of our titular Snowhite and green is a color associated with envy. It is as if Watts has taken the bait Cinder offered him using his feelings of entitlement and jealousy:

Cinder: You have everything you need?

Watts: Oh, believe me, this is everything I've ever wanted.

His arc is also a clear case of wants versus needs. He gets what he wants, ignoring that this is not what he needs.

What would happen is the Scorpion killed the Frog, but survived?

The answer is that he would keep making pacts he breaks (like the one with Qrow) and would keep poisoning others (both physically or psychologically).

This until he leads himself to his own demise, just like his fable counterpart.

Thank you for the ask!

#rwby #rwby meta #hazel rainart #arthur watts #tyrian callows #salem #qrow branwen #ozpin #james ironwood #cinder fall #emerald sustrai #mercury black #murder kids #rwby murder kids #asksfullofsugar #anonymous #my meta

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mcbride · 3 years ago

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TWD S11 Predictions - Carol/Daryl focused

disclaimer: i don't know anything. i have no sources. just my predictions, thoughts and wishful thinking based on filming tracking, intuition, some theories, images from the teaser/promo trailers and more wishful thinking!

solely focused on Carol and Daryl's storylines, cause apparently that's all my heart cares about anymore! as a wise person once said (Espy, my positive fairy! if you're reading this, ilysm), our baes need to be dealing with their own issues and demons, separately, while getting some closure with other people, so they can finally move forward together.

so i don't expect many actual caryl scenes in part 1 of s11, but i fully expect them to keep each other in mind, and even make some decisions based on a future they wanna have together even before they resolve the awkward tension between them atm.

imo the perfect caryl arc in 11a would include a lot of emotional encounters, drama, disappearances, fake deaths, torture, tragedy, dog, closure and make up and make out... after the jump....

it appears that Carol and Daryl will be involved in different missions at the start of the season - he will head out with Maggie's group to search for food when they are caught up in a storm and have to hide out in the subway tunnels; while i presume she stays back to defend and help clean up ASZ or goes on her own mission with Kelly and Magna.

Carol, Kelly and Magna end up stumbling upon Connie's journal, a symbol of hope for all of them. they might even decide to search the area for any more signs of Connie. i really want Carol herself to find Connie and bring her back to Kelly. and not cause Carol is a hero who saved Connie, nooooooo cause Connie can save her own self. she is strong, not a damsel in distress. she went through hell but she made it back. i think we will see Connie and what she has been through, however, i don't believe she will reunite with anyone from team family before the MSF (11x08) or even MSP (11x09). no idea who she and Virgil are running from in the trailer - it could either be a whisperer, a stray reaper or just some crazy random motherf*cker they run into.

while Maggie's group are in the tunnels, dog runs off and Daryl goes to search for him, never making it back to the group for some reason. after the storm is over, Maggie and the group search for Daryl but not having been able to find him (?) they just assume he is gone, possibly dead? i don't know why Maggie would give up so easily searching for family, but it seems like her current MO to just leave people behind.

along the way, Carol and Magna will find common ground and actually become besties cause she desperately needs some female friends. please and thank you. they can bond over the hope to find Connie alive and well, or the fact, both of them are currently in a very awkward position with their boos while having no idea where the heck they are.

Daryl probably got separated from the group while escaping a small herd in the tunnels (cue to Daryl's face covered in blood in the woods) and when he finally finds dog, he comes face to face with a masked reaper formerly known to him as Leah. he is shocked to learn she's part of the group that targeted Maggie. Leah is probably bitter Daryl chose his family instead of her a few years ago cause she has no idea he came back for her... so she and her friends take (willingly or not!) Daryl prisoner... possibly torture him and play mind games to gather information on team family.

in the sdcc trailer, there are some very heartbreaking scenes with Carol (and Aaron?), i cannot wait for it. i know it's gonna make me cry so hard and i've been needing Carol/Aaron friendship for years. at the same time, i expect Carol to also have some badass fighting scenes with her daughter-in-law and new bestie, Lydia, and tia Rosita! YES girl power!! people need Carol and she's totally there for them.

Aaron seems to be in a bad place emotionally (possibly something happened to Gracie, or just the fact they lost a lot of people in the whisperers war!) and Carol will be there to urge him not to make the same mistakes she did. hopefully, these 2 can join forces and come up with a masterplan to defeat the reapers.

Daryl being Daryl who always wants to save people even from themselves, tries to convince Leah to change sides, join team family, or convince her own family to leave his family alone. he's unsuccessful and when Daryl tries to escape, setting the whole place on fire and killing a few men on his way out of the reapers compound, Leah threatens to harm dog. cause why not? she obvi loves nothing or no one! they take Daryl back to another cell, and dog manages to escape.

meanwhile, Maggie's group returns to ASZ, where they tell Carol they believe Daryl is lost or dead. please give me all the angst that comes with Carol thinking she may have lost Daryl forever! she has been pretty committed to the group and rebuilding their home, but i believe her first instinct will be to run, to leave... TO FIND DARYL!!! cause no way in hell would Carol just accept he's gone unless she sees it with her own eyes.

WELL in true 'if you can't beat them, then join them' fashion, after a few brainwashing sessions with Leah, Daryl tells her all about the note (FIND ME) he left for her at the cabin, how he knows he made the wrong decision then, declares his loyalty to her and joins the reapers...

dog arrives at ASZ just as Carol is about to leave to search for Daryl. good boy always comes back home to mama and together they will find and save dada. (bear with me! from now on i'll be totally running wild with my wishful thinking... it will pretty much read like some fanfic plot!)

Daryl keeps trying to fit in with the reapers group, but he's only taking a page from Carol's undercover book - fake it till you make it + destroy them from the inside. what he doesn't know is that Leah and her new/old bf (Pope!?) have been planning an attack on ASZ behind his back. they simply let him know, this is his chance to prove himself to the reapers. he has to go along with the plan (or DIE!), but he hopes to be Alexandrians' inside man, helping them protect their family at all costs (ironically, exactly what Negan did when he joined the whisperers and they attacked Hilltop... just not the same motivation! i guess Carol wasn't so wrong about Negan after all!)

at night, Daryl puts on his reaper costume and they head to ASZ. reapers learned the location of the place by tracking dog. the plan was much bigger and more explosive than Daryl expected, the reapers destroy a big part of ASZ brand new rebuilt wall and set fire to a bunch of houses and the mill before Daryl can even react.

Alexandrians and reapers fight as Daryl sneaks out to lead the kids to safety. he finds Maggie, asks for Carol, and is glad she is out there looking for him, relatively safe, rather than around to fight and watch ASZ fall.

while out looking for Daryl, Carol hears the explosions, sees the fire and she and dog return to ASZ as fast as they can. they are greeted by Leah at what used to be front gate...

i realize this is getting extremely long, so i'll just say that i absolutely don't want Carol to have anything to do with Leah's possible imminent death. i don't want that guilt on her conscience, and i don't want her to feel like Leah is just another person she took from Daryl (like Connie!). i don't even want Leah to die! unless she's trying to hurt or kill Daryl.

somehow i think it would be a good twist, if for a quick second Carol thought Daryl had betrayed them and joined the reapers for Leah. of course, Carol knows better. SHE KNOWS DARYL. he would never, but for a brief panicked moment, it would be good to see her react to that. i can only imagine the pain in her eyes. but she also trusts Daryl with her life.

we have no idea what Leah knows about Carol, but i'd like the pocketknife Daryl regifted to come back. how would Leah react? likely angry to see another woman with something that was hers. i want to believe Daryl would never tell Leah anything about Carol because she is just too important and too personal to share. but maybe Leah can tell there was someone else !? who knows.

i just want it to be completely clear Daryl is done with that part of his past. Daryl is not alone and lost in the woods anymore without his brother Rick and his bestie Carol. ever since Carol brought him back, Daryl has acted like he knows exactly what he wants and he's done playing games. and what he wants is not Leah or Connie. he wants for ALL his family to be safe and happy, and he wants to run away with Carol and see the world. AND i want both Carol and Daryl to feel free to be free and live freely.

as for the make up and make out part... (that's saved for 11b, hopefully!)

team family won, most of the reapers are dead, except for Leah. Daryl (with Carol's nod of approval!) decides to spare her, gives her some supplies and tells her to get lost. at the same time, Eugene arrives with the troopers from CommonWealth to help with the whisperer war. WHOOPS. 2 wars, 2 late, bruh! but the group leaves to join the good people at CW.

Carol and Daryl have a very long conversation about everything that happened and what they have been feeling. Daryl telling her exactly why he was so mad at her (she kept leaving, can't commit!), her actions (almost getting herself killed!) since Henry's death and how he needs her in his life. no matter how she sees herself or whether she thinks she's worthy or not, he just wants her to be there next to him for whatever is to come.

plus Carol realizing she needed to get closer and let people in without fear, not give up hope and actually fight for a better future for herself. and finally, admitting to Daryl that it was horrible to think he might've been gone forever, promising to never make him feel the way she felt. basically, a promise to never ever leave him again (cue to making out!)

#caryl #caryl rants #caryl predictions #carol peletier #daryl dixon #dog dixon #s11 spoilery #good lawd this is long af #did i go full td here?#or plausible possibility territory?#wishful thinking #speculation

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melanielocke · 3 years ago

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Conceal don't Feel - Two

Love is an Open Door

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @alastair-appreciation-month @writeordie-4 @amchara

AO3

Previous chapter: One: Do You Wanna Build a Snowman

Next chapter: For the First Time in Forever (to be posted)

Cordelia had never been so disappointed in her entire life. She’d been promised a guest, someone closer to her and Alastair’s age, someone who could end her days of loneliness and be her friend. Father had told her about it himself on one of his better days, he’d invited someone of her generation to come help Alastair. She knew the guest would be there mainly for her brother, of course, but Alastair hated being around people and she was sure whoever the guest was would have plenty of time to spend with her instead. She’d longed for someone to end her loneliness for such a long time she had started fantasizing about the person who would be staying until she’d gotten some admittedly unrealistic expectations. Instead, Charles Fairchild had arrived.

He wasn’t as close to her age as had been promised. Instead, he was eight years older than her, which she guessed was technically her generation, but he found himself far too mature to spend time with silly little girls like her. Not to mention, of course, that he was here for Alastair, and Alastair alone. With Father sick so often and Mother filling in, Alastair needed someone to teach him how to be a king. Somehow, her brother tolerated Charles’ presence whereas he still told Cordelia to go away and leave him alone whenever she approached him. After a few weeks she learned Charles had a younger brother around Cordelia’s age, but of course he hadn’t been invited.

With a groan, she returned to her practice with cortana. It was all she had these days, all she cared about. Even if she was all alone and her brother had barely spoken to her in years, she had been gifted the family sword, both a great honor and responsibility. She wondered sometimes why Alastair had chosen to gift her cortana, as it was tradition the sword went to the heir to the throne.

‘I knew it was important to you,’ was all he’d said when she’d asked, but for Cordelia that wasn’t a satisfactory answer. Giving her a powerful sword that was rightfully his because he knew it was important to her implied he loved her, yet nothing else Alastair did or said showed he even cared about her a little bit. If he loved her, he would spend time with her, not hide in his room and yell at her to go away.

Nowadays, he would only ever spend times with Charles, because of course while Cordelia wasn’t good enough for him, Charles was everything. They deserved each other, Cordelia had decided. They were both boring and stupid and could only ever talk about politics. The only time Charles paid Cordelia any mind was when he told her a princess shouldn’t be eating so much chocolate and maybe she should try losing some weight. He had a point, princesses were supposed to be slim and small and Cordelia wasn’t, but he didn’t have to be so rude about it. She didn’t understand why Alastair followed Charles around like some lost puppy. He used to shut the world out, and it seemed like he’d opened the door, but right after Charles had entered it had shut down with full force once more.

She wished she could let it go, and forget about her brother, but she couldn’t. She still remembered the fun they used to have when they were little, how he’d looked out for her and helped her build the most amazing snowmen. It had all happened so sudden, one day they were playing in the snow together, the next he wouldn’t leave his room and refused to even speak to her. Perhaps there was an explanation, something that would make it all make sense. But then why was Charles the exception, and what did Alastair see in him?

***

When Charles arrived in Arendelle, Alastair redoubled his resolve to get this power under control, to never let it show. Letting Thomas see had been a mistake. He’d trusted Thomas, had cared for him, and now they would never see each other again and how could he be sure Thomas hadn’t shared his secret? He had no reason to assume Charles would even accept the way he was. He could never know.

‘The palace of Arendelle is beautiful,’ Charles said. ‘A different style from the palace of the southern isles. Not that that is still in use, it has been turned into a museum. A real shame.’

Charles made no effort to hide the disdain in his voice as he said the word museum.

‘Why?’ Alastair asked.

‘Because there’s no monarchy anymore,’ Charles said. ‘My mother was the Queen of the Southern Isles until two years ago. She ended the monarchy and was elected as president instead. She thought it unfitting for an elected leader to live in a grand palace, so she decided it should be a museum instead to preserve our country’s history.’

Alastair stared at Charles with wide eyes. ‘That’s a possibility? I could just end the monarchy and have elections for a leader? And whoever has good ideas on how to improve the country could just sign up?’

He imagined all sorts of people would be willing to give it a try, and Alastair had never wanted the throne anyway. He had no idea how he’d be king and meet with cabinet members and foreign officials and never show the ice that rested inside of him.

Charles chuckled, as if he’d just said something ridiculous.

‘Perhaps not,’ he said quietly, already feeling stupid.

‘Being a Crown Prince is an honor, Alastair, a great privilege. Who in their right mind would give that up? Why would you not want to be king?’

Alastair sighed. ‘I guess you’re right. It’s just a lot of responsibility, and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.’

‘That’s alright. That’s why I’m here. I might not be a prince anymore, but I have a lot of experience being one and later I helped with my mother’s presidential campaign and presidency. I know how to run a country.’

His friendship with Charles might have been a bit rocky at first, but Alastair soon learnt to trust him more. It was a bit like with Thomas, when Charles was near Alastair felt calmer and could control the ice.

Charles was knowledgeable and took his time to educate Alastair on everything he thought was important for a future king. He was often willing to make time for Alastair, even when it was not convenient for him, and Alastair thought as long as Charles was here, everything was going to be alright.

‘What will you do, when you return to the southern isles?’ Alastair asked him one day.

‘Run for president myself,’ Charles said. ‘It’s not the same as being king, but there’s still much good I can do for the southern isles. My mother has done a good job, but I fear she is too sentimental. I can make my country strong again, that is all I ever wanted.

Don’t worry, I won’t be leaving anytime soon. You still need plenty of my help, and I think together we can set up some better trade routes, build an alliance and find new ways in which we can help each other. I think both Arendelle and the Southern Isles could benefit from a closer relationship.’

Alastair was intrigued. Alliances with foreign kingdoms were what he feared the most of being king. He wasn’t charming, too blunt and straight forward to flatter, but perhaps with Charles he could get started on a good alliance without those skills. ‘Of course. Whatever you need.’

***

Cordelia was beyond excited. Alastair had asked her to join him for a picnic on the palace grounds this afternoon. This would be her chance to get her brother back and a picnic was a decent start. Perhaps someday coming winter they could build a snowman again. Cordelia firmly believed you were never too old to build a snowman.

She picked out her nicest dress, eternally grateful it still fit as she was always growing out of her clothes, and went out to meet Alastair in the gardens. For once he wasn’t with Charles, which was nice because Cordelia did not want to talk about politics all afternoon. She had more important things to discuss.

‘I’m glad you came,’ Alastair said.

He was tense, Cordelia could tell. It was hard to read his moods with Alastair, he rarely showed any emotion, but she had learnt to recognize the slight tension in his shoulders, his stiff demeanor, as if he was forcing himself to speak. She wondered why he would be tense.

‘Of course I came,’ Cordelia said. ‘As far as I know you’re still my only brother.’

‘I’m sorry, for the past years,’ Alastair said. ‘I know you must have been very alone.’

Cordelia nodded. ‘Yes. I know you have to study and prepare for being king and all, but why can’t we at least open the gates every once in a while? Maybe invite some girls my age, or even Charles’ younger brother?’

She knew spending a lot of time with a boy her age would be considered inappropriate, but that was still preferable to keeping the company of the portraits on the wall. She had so little experience with social interaction she didn’t even know how to speak to someone her age, and Father expected her to get married when she was older. How was she supposed to do that when she never met anyone? There was no way she was marrying Charles.

‘I’m sorry,’ Alastair said quietly. ‘We can’t do that.’

‘Father could invite Charles,’ Cordelia protested. ‘Surely we can invite someone else. I still don’t have a lady in waiting.’

‘That’ll have to wait, Layla. I’m sorry. I wish it were different.’

Alastair had called her Layla since she was a little girl, after a girl in a story their mother used to tell them, and it was a bit of a weak spot of hers. Still, she was determined not to let it go, because nothing Alastair said made any sense.

‘But why?’ Cordelia asked. ‘What are you so afraid of?’

‘I’m not afraid of anything,’ Alastair bit at her.

There was that temper she remembered from his childhood. It was good to see he still felt anything at all, but Cordelia did not want to make him angry the first time she’d spoken to him in years. Perhaps she should be a little more tactful about this instead of forcing answers out of him. One thing she knew for sure though, there was something Alastair knew and she didn’t. Perhaps more than one thing, Alastair always seemed to know much more than he let on. It was infuriating.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said and she hoped he would believe her apology was sincere. ‘I just wish I could have friends too.’

‘Maybe when you’re older,’ Alastair said. ‘I’ll do what I can, alright? But no promises.’

Cordelia decided to accept that for now. ‘Your life must have been very boring too. I mean, you have company, but it’s Charles. That might actually be worse than being alone.’

Alastair rolled his eyes. ‘He’s not boring. He’s a politician, and a very good one. He knows everything there is about being king, even if he won’t be one himself anymore. It is very generous of him to come here and help me.’

Cordelia made a face. ‘I don’t like him. Most of the time he ignores me, which honestly is fine, but he also tells me I eat way too much chocolate and need to lose weight.’

Her weight had become a bit of an insecurity lately. She was at the end of her growth spurt and quite tall, which she liked, she was even taller than Alastair, but while she’d stopped growing in length, she kept getting wider and had to throw out dresses all the time. Her mother had told her this was normal for girls her age, but Cordelia was pretty sure most girls her age were much thinner than she was, and princesses were expected to be small and skinny.

If Charles was to be believed, it was because of all the sweets she ate, and reminding her of it was hurtful, not to mention he was always rude and condescending about it, as if she couldn’t possibly know what was good for her.

‘I’m sorry, I’ll ask him not to bother you,’ Alastair promised. ‘But I really need him here, alright? I will be king one day, and I desperately need his help.’

Cordelia snorted. ‘Maybe if you wanted to learn how to be a better king, you could actually go outside and spend time with the people of Arendelle instead of hiding here in the castle.’

‘That’s not possible,’ Alastair said stiffly.

He was worried. Cordelia couldn’t tell what it was, but she was determined to find out.

‘Are you scared to leave the palace?’ Cordelia asked. ‘I read a book some time back about someone who was scared to leave their house. It was very intriguing.’

‘I’m not scared, Cordelia,’ Alastair hissed, but something about his stiff mannerism revealed otherwise.

She nodded. ‘Alright, so you have a fear of going outside like that character in the book. Maybe there’s a doctor somewhere who can help you overcome your fear since I have no idea how it’s done and I imagine dragging you outside might make it worse. But that’s alright, I could go out and into the city for you and report back what I learn. We could be a great team, like we used to be.’

‘No, Cordelia, that’s not… I’m not afraid.’ He stopped abruptly, twisting his fingers together.

Alastair was wearing a pair of fancy black gloves. Now that she noticed, he always wore gloves. Perhaps if he was scared of going outside, he was also scared of dirt? The palace was cleaned, of course, but some rooms weren’t cleaned as often because of the limited staff and would collect dust. She did remember her brother had always been rather neat, that had to be it.

‘We’re done here,’ Alastair said. ‘Goodbye.’

He stood up and walked away. They hadn’t even eaten anything yet. Cordelia ran after him.

‘Where are you going?’

‘Back inside. I changed my mind, I don’t want to have a picnic with you.’

Cordelia didn’t understand. He’d invited her, he’d wanted to spend time with her. Had she done something wrong to change his mind? It didn’t make any sense, she might have been a little pushy, but he had to understand it was for his own good, right?

‘Why? Am I suddenly not good enough for you anymore?’ Cordelia yelled, grabbing his shoulder.

‘Leave me alone, Cordelia,’ Alastair hissed. ‘I mean it.’

Cordelia was taken back by the sudden vehemence in his voice.

‘Fine, go back inside to stupid Charles and his stupid lessons!’ she yelled after him as he walked inside.

He didn’t look back, not even once. As if she was nothing. Great, that was her one chance to win back her brother, to improve her situation here somewhat. Now she had no idea what to do.

She returned to the picnic site and collapsed onto the blanket she’d laid out for the two of them. She stuffed some chocolate into her mouth. Chocolate she’d specifically requested for Alastair, because she knew he liked anything sweet, and loved chocolate most of all. Cordelia did too, curse stupid Charles and his stupid comments about her eating habits. She was the princess, she could eat as much chocolate as she wanted. She needed some way to cope with being alone all the time and if Charles thought it was bad for her maybe he should go find her a friend. As it was, she returned to days of loneliness and practicing with cortana. What else was she supposed to do?

***

‘Your father didn’t show up to our meeting again,’ Charles said. ‘We were supposed to discuss your progress weekly, but most of the time he isn’t there. Do you know if he’s alright?’

‘He’s just sick,’ Alastair said, terrified Charles would find out about his father’s drinking. ‘No one knows what’s wrong with him, but it’s been getting worse. Mother has taken over most of his tasks so he can rest. Thanks to you, I can start helping out too. I’ve been working on my correspondence, and I was wondering if you could double check my letter to the Duke of Weselton?’

Charles nodded. ‘I’ll look at your letter. I am sorry to hear about your father’s illness, Alastair, I know it’s been hard on you. How’s your sister under all this?’

Alastair sighed. A couple of months ago, he’d thought he was making progress. Around Charles he felt so much better, he felt as if the ice wasn’t even there unless he called for it. He had thought maybe he could give his sister another chance and he’d invited her to a picnic. If everything had gone well and he’d felt in control around her, he could have told her the truth there, and show her what he was capable of. But when he’d met with Cordelia, everything came back in full force and he’d have to fight with every bit of his willpower to repress his fear and keep the ice inside of him. Cordelia was still mad about his sudden departure, but he’d had no other choice if he wanted to keep her safe. When he’d gotten back to his bedroom, he’d lost control and caused a snowstorm. While he thought his control had improved since Charles had come, the size of any outburst that slipped through had grown.

He was lucky Cordelia hadn’t seen it and at least now that Father was drunk all the time, he wouldn’t notice and put Alastair in chains. He knew it was all his fault though, his father wouldn’t have started drinking if it weren’t for him.

‘I think it’s difficult for her,’ Alastair said. ‘She mentioned you made some comments about her eating habits the other day. I know you mean well, but she doesn’t like it.’

‘I’m just concerned for her. It’s unhealthy to eat so much chocolate,’ Charles insisted. ‘She’ll thank me when she doesn’t have to throw out another of her custom made gowns.’

Alastair didn’t think it was fair to shame her for growing out of clothes when he did the same. He’d started his growth spurt lately and most of his suits had become too short. They weren’t thrown away either, they were sold second hand, as were Cordelia’s old gowns.

‘I think she’s insecure about how she looks,’ Alastair said. ‘And she has plenty to worry about, I don’t think she should be worrying about her weight on top of that. Your comments aren’t helping her.’

He didn’t understand why his control was so much worse around Cordelia. A long time ago, he’d hurt her, and he was terrified it would happen again. Perhaps that was different with Charles. With Charles he could not feel, like he was supposed to.

The problem, of course, was that with Charles he did feel. Just like he had with Thomas. It had not appeared as fast as it had with Thomas, but it was so much stronger now that he’d gotten to know Charles, had spent nearly a year with him.

He wanted Charles. Loved him, even. Alastair didn’t understand why he felt this way. Years ago, he’d met his cousin Jem who’d told him how he loved both Will and Tessa romantically. Alastair couldn’t imagine loving more than one person at the same time, nor could he imagine loving a woman, but perhaps some men longed for the love of other men instead of women.

Perhaps being in love was what calmed his moods, as long as he wasn’t scared. Right now, he wasn’t, not yet. He knew it was unlikely Charles felt the same way. That was alright, because he still wanted to be near him and then everything would be fine.

‘You know, I always found it unusual how empty this castle is,’ Charles said one day. ‘No one else ever stays, your parents always travel to meet foreign leaders and never invite anyone over. There aren’t half as many cleaners and servants as there were in my old palace.’

‘We minimized the staff,’ Alastair said. ‘It seems wasteful to spend money on staff when that could be spent on improving the kingdom.’

‘You don’t even have friends,’ Charles said. ‘No other noblemen visit, ever. You don’t have any companions, nor a page. You sleep alone. It’s odd.’

Alastair frowned. ‘How is it odd that I sleep alone?’

‘When I was still a prince, I had a page. A boy around my age, who shared my bed at night. It was normal at home, for noblemen and women to have a page or lady in waiting share their bed. A good way to make sure your virtue remains intact and you do not share your bed with a woman you are not married to.’

Alastair wasn’t sure that would be effective. Who was to say nothing improper happened between the nobleman and the person who shared their bed?

‘There’s no one here I could lose my virtue to,’ Alastair said. ‘But I know what you mean, my mother does share her bed with Risa, her lady in waiting. My father doesn’t though, he sleeps alone.’

No one could find out he was a drunk. No one would believe in him as a king anymore, and therefore it was up to Alastair to keep anyone from finding out, just like he had to keep everyone from finding out about the ice inside of him.

‘I imagine you don’t have a page anymore at home?’ Alastair asked.

‘We had a fall out shortly before my mother gave up the crown,’ Charles said in a tone that indicated he did not want to talk about it.

Charles did not bring the topic up again for some time, not until he was complaining about his younger brother one day.

‘He’s been campaigning for the right for men to love other men,’ Charles said with a sigh. ‘And for women to love women. Here I was thinking he’d never give up on being silly and going out partying, but this is worse.’

Alastair tilted his head. ‘Why? Is he not fighting for a good cause?’

‘He will make everything much harder for me, for our family,’ Charles said. ‘People are shunning him, of course. They’re wondering, why is he campaigning for this, what does it mean about him? And my brother does not have the good sense to hide he likes both men and women.’

So Charles’ brother was like his cousin Jem, then? Alastair had not met Matthew Fairchild, but it was difficult to hear Charles talk like this. He felt a familiar tingling in his fingers, a warning he might lose control. Something he had not yet felt around Charles.

‘That is very brave of him,’ Alastair said.

‘I prefer to think of it as foolish,’ Charles said. ‘The people won’t accept him, he won’t change a thing. He’ll just make everything harder for himself, and for me. People will watch us more closely. No one batted an eye when Daniel, my former page, shared my bed for years.’

Alastair gasped. ‘You mean to say you love men?’

‘Unfortunately I do. It’s not easy for someone like me. I have to keep it a secret, or I risk losing everything. No one would vote for a man like me to be president. But with the proper precautions, I’ve been quite successful at hiding my affections and desires while still indulging in them. I wish my brother understood that.’

Alastair put his hand on Charles’ and felt the tingling fade. It wasn’t gone, not entirely, but he wouldn’t lose control. ‘Does your brother know about you?’

‘No. I never wanted him to. You’re the first person I’ve told after Daniel, I know I can trust you to keep my secret.’

Alastair felt special to be entrusted with such a secret, and could it mean Charles returned his feelings? Had Charles told him because he hoped Alastair might want to be with him?

‘When I’m king, I will do what your brother has been campaigning for, I will change the laws and allow two men or two women to be together,’ Alastair promised. ‘Get married, even.’

Charles waved his hand dismissively. ‘Don’t be silly, Alastair.’

His heart sank, the tingling increased. He had to tell Charles about his affections, or else everything would become snow and ice.

‘But I’m like you,’ Alastair said. ‘I like men. And I don’t want to hide forever. What’s even the point in being king if I can’t change such things?’

‘They’ll cast you out, Alastair,’ Charles said. ‘Don’t waste your birthright on something the people will never accept. Best to keep your affections a secret. You’re a prince, you can pick any boy you like to be your page or companion and share your bed. No one would suspect a thing.’

Charles put his hand on Alastair’s shoulder, a bit too long for it to be called friendly, right?

‘What about you?’ Alastair asked. ‘I feel choosing a page to be my love would be unfair. Like, would he even get a say in that? It wouldn’t be like that with you.’

Charles smiled and cupped his cheek with his hand. It was smooth, the hand of someone who had not done manual labor. ‘You’re in love with me, aren’t you?’ he said, his voice gentle.

Alastair rubbed his hands together, forcing the tingling to stop. He felt frost underneath his gloves, but it was still hidden. Conceal, don’t feel.

‘Yes,’ he whispered.

‘I suspected as much,’ Charles said. ‘I like you too, Alastair. You’re smart and beautiful, and you will be a great king someday. But this has to be a secret. You understand that, don’t you? I will be with you, but only as long as you can keep your affections concealed.’

Alastair nodded. ‘Of course.’

Then Charles kissed him, and it was like fire, a sudden heat that melted his frozen heart, that stopped the tingling in his fingers, that calmed the storm inside of him. Perhaps love was the answer after all.

Alastair and Charles explored much more than just kissing together. Charles came to share his bed, claiming it was improper how Alastair slept alone all night. No one suspected a thing, but then of course, there was no one who could suspect. It was the first time in years where Alastair felt he might be happy. Even if he was still too dangerous to be around his sister. He tried once more. No promises this time, he just sought her out in her room to see if they could talk. The storm returned almost immediately and Alastair realized his sister would never be safe if he went near her. The only one he could be around was Charles.

It was amazing at first. Long nights together, Charles touching him, making love to him. He’d never known being touched by someone could feel so good, nor that it would melt the ice inside his heart. Charles knew exactly what he was doing and what he wanted, and Alastair was happy to oblige.

It was wonderful outside of the bedroom too. He loved how Charles would gently touch his shoulder, his wrist as he guided him through their lessons. But it didn’t take long for the secrecy of it all to start to weigh on him. Charles’ younger brother had fled farther south for his own safety, confirming Charles’ beliefs it was better to keep their love a secret. Alastair was scared the same might happen to him, but what could possibly be worse than people finding out he was a monster with ice in his heart?

Perhaps it would be better to leave, to flee into the woods and snow touched mountains and make his home there. The cold didn’t bother him, he would survive. But Charles could not come with him there, and so he stayed. Even while Charles mocked his ideas, told him he was still too young to understand what it was to rule a kingdom and treated him like was a child despite being old enough to be Charles’ lover.

Once he’d been in control around Charles, but not anymore. He wasn’t sure why it had gotten worse, why he was so scared Charles would leave him, that he wasn’t good enough anymore. He redoubled his resolve, made sure to read everything Charles asked him to, be everything his lover needed him to be. Charles was all he had, he didn’t think he could survive being abandoned. They stayed like this for several years. Alastair never took his gloves, not even when they had sex, and never explained why. Charles thought it was odd, but had come to accept it.

Even when he lost control, the gloves kept it in for a little longer, offered a bit of protection, and the time to get away before the storm began. Whenever he didn’t trust himself anymore, he went to his own private bathroom, a place even Charles wasn’t allowed to enter. Now that Charles shared his bed, his bedroom wasn’t a safe place to lose control anymore and he couldn’t exactly ask Charles to leave. So instead, this bathroom had frozen several times over, and whenever he was going to lose control he just told Charles he needed to use the bathroom. At this point, all the pipes had broken, so nothing could be used, but everything had been cut off from the water network long ago and his outbursts didn’t affect the other bathrooms. Charles had not uncovered his secret, and although it was difficult to keep it from him, it was for the best.

***

Cordelia took her father’s hand. ‘Where are you going? Are you sure you’re well enough to travel?’

‘I’m feeling much better, Cordelia dear,’ he said with a smile. ‘Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back before you know it.’

Cordelia wasn’t sure where exactly her parents would be traveling. It wasn’t the first time he left, of course, to meet with foreign nobles, but this time he would be going on a much longer journey, and it had been a while since he’d traveled anywhere. He’d been too sick and Mother had written letters to keep up relations instead.

‘Can’t I come with you?’ Cordelia asked.

‘Not this time,’ her father said. ‘But I promise on my next journey you can come with me. It’s almost time for you to be presented to the world. But this is something I have to do myself, I’m afraid.’

The idea of being presented to the world sounded good, but perhaps that would be a bit much all at once. Perhaps it would be nicer to start with a smaller group of people who could be her friends.

‘What if the people won’t like me?’ Cordelia asked.

‘Of course they will. You are beautiful, compassionate and nurturing, what’s not to like?’

Cordelia could always count on her father to tell her she was beautiful, even if not long ago she’d had to throw out nearly all of her gowns because she’d gained too much weight to fit into them.

‘I’ll still be here, azizam,’ her mother said, which surprised her.

‘Oh, I thought you were going too,’ Cordelia said.

‘I was, but Alastair insisted he was not ready to take over while I was gone and needed me to stay,’ her mother explained. ‘I know that’s not true and Alastair is more than ready, but I thought staying would put his mind at ease.’

Cordelia supposed that should make her less lonely, but her mother spent all her time on filling in for her father and she wasn’t sure where that left her. She knew everyone was keeping something from her, but she couldn’t figure out what and it was frustrating. She’d tried asking her father, who had told her not to worry, that everything would be alright in the end. Then she’d asked her mother, who’d told her that her brother was going through a difficult time, without offering any explanation. Apparently, boys his age often went through times like this, except in Alastair’s case that had been years now. Not that Cordelia knew any other boys Alastair’s age to compare his behavior to, but that was hardly her fault.

It turned out her father wasn’t back before she knew it. It took months to even get word from him. Of course, it was a long journey by ship and it made sense they did not hear anything at first, but after a couple of months Cordelia began to worry. They should have heard something by now, what could have become of him?

‘He’ll be alright, Cordelia,’ her mother had said. ‘We’ll hear from him soon enough. He must have decided to stay longer than intended and it would take time for a letter to reach us.’

But Cordelia could tell her mother was worried too, more so with every passing day during which they did not hear from Elias. Several months after he’d first left, a messenger came.

‘I am terribly sorry to bring you this news, Your Majesty,’ the messenger said, addressing her mother. ‘The King’s ship went down in the southern seas. There were no survivors.’

Cordelia had been in shock at first. Then she’d burst into tears. Mother had cried too, although a bit more concealed. Alastair though, had not shown a thing. He’d taken the news quietly, asked a few questions, and then retreated to his room. As if he didn’t feel a thing, as if he didn’t care.

The funeral was a quiet ceremony, and Alastair didn’t attend. She had been forced to ask Charles where he was and why he hadn’t come to his own father’s funeral. Charles didn’t know the answer either, said something about Alastair being upset and indisposed, but she could tell it didn’t make sense to him either.

Determined not to let him slip away from her like he always did, she went to his room after the funeral, knocking on the door. No response. When she was younger, Alastair would yell at her to go away, he would get angry that she had the nerve to bother him. As awful as that was, his silence was worse.

‘Please, Alastair,’ she said. ‘I know you’re in there. I don’t know why you didn’t come to the funeral, and maybe it was just too hard… But people asked about you, where you’ve been. And I want to be there for you. Just let me in, and we can talk about.’

‘Leave me alone, Cordelia!’ she heard from the other side of the door. He didn’t open it. ‘I don’t care Father is dead, that’s why I didn’t go the funeral. You shouldn’t either.’

It was not the answer she’d expected, although it wasn’t the first time it had seemed like Alastair did not love Father. Sometimes she wondered if Alastair could feel anything at all. She guessed not. There was ice inside his heart, and Cordelia did not know how to reach him anymore. Perhaps it didn’t matter.

With Father gone, her mother was Queen-Regent for now, taking on all of Father’s duties with some help from Alastair here and there until his coronation. Her mother was pregnant, and Cordelia didn’t think it would be good for her to spend so much time working while expecting a child. At least the pregnancy meant that once the baby was here, she would have someone to play with.

In four months, Alastair would turn twenty one and would be crowned king. He only ever spent time preparing for his coronation and his reign, Charles always hovering around him. It was impossible to catch him alone.

Of course, a coronation brought opportunities. Alastair couldn’t be crowned in a small, private ceremony, people from all over the country and even beyond would be invited. Cordelia would finally have a chance to meet actual real life people.

***

Alastair did not attend his father’s funeral. He’d expected knowing his father was gone would bring relief. No more hiding the empty bottles, no more covering up his sickness. No risk Cordelia would find out. Most of all, no risk Father would decide he was too dangerous and would chain him in the dungeons. He had never forgotten that day and even now he still had nightmares. Father had always been cruel to him, and he thought his death would set Alastair free. Instead, he felt empty, he felt a horrible guilt for hating a man who was now dead. He felt the snow and ice tingling against his fingers, seeking release. He pushed it back down with all he had. Conceal, don’t feel, that was what his father had taught him. No emotion, push it all down. Alright then, he would not feel. He would not mourn Father, would not care that he was gone. He would not attend the funeral and pay his respects, it was too dangerous anyway, and Father did not deserve that.

He knew people would ask why, where he’d been, and he made something up about being too sick and overcome with grief to attend. It was a lie. Even without the risk of exposing his ice, he would not have wanted to attend. He hated his father, and he couldn’t bear to listen to people speak on what a great king he’d been. Worse, what a great father he’d been. And there was no one he could talk to. Charles didn’t know what Father was really like, he believed in the lie of his illness. Cordelia was the same, worse even, for she adored Father, she always had. He’d considered telling her the truth, but that would be selfish. It would break her heart, and for what? And Mother had loved Father. Now that he was gone, she wanted to remember the good parts. She was having another baby, and was devastated the baby would never meet his father. Lucky child, he thought. That almost sounded like he resented the baby for getting the safe and carefree childhood he had never had, but that wasn’t true. He was almost glad Father was gone for their sake, and he hoped the baby would grow up happy and loved and protected, even if Alastair could provide none of that himself. It was too dangerous and he would never forgive himself if anything happened to the baby because of him.

***

‘Alastair, are you in there?’

No response. Sona had gotten used to that at this point. She had grown more worried every day. Alastair was to be king in a couple of months, but he had barely left his private quarters since Elias’ death. The only person he spoke to was Charles, and even then Charles had confided in her that he felt Alastair pull away from him. That he wasn’t sure Alastair was ready to be king.

She’d thought, perhaps, as his mother she could reach him. Charles didn’t know about the ice despite them being very close. But with her and Cordelia, all Alastair did was push them away.

He had seemed happy, at least, when she’d told him of her pregnancy, excited to meet the new baby. Mostly, he’d been terrified though and Sona thought perhaps Alastair was scared he’d hurt the baby. She didn’t know what to do anymore. She had to protect her baby, of course, but Alastair was her child too and she didn’t know how to reach him.

Sona knocked on the bedroom door once more. He couldn’t hide in there forever. It was Charles who opened, wearing a dressing robe. Sona knew Charles had been sleeping in Alastair’s bedroom for the past years. It was a way, apparently, to make sure Alastair’s virtue was intact for marriage. Not that Alastair had shown any interest in getting married and with his ice, Sona feared it was too dangerous. She wasn’t sure how Alastair had managed to keep his ice from Charles while sharing a bed, but that was impressive, right?

It pained her, she wanted nothing more than for Alastair to be happy, but she didn’t know how. She’d considered going back to Tessa, had asked Elias to reconsider, but he’d refused. ‘Alastair belongs here,’ Elias used to say. ‘That witch will only take him away from us.’

And now he was to be crowned king and it was too late. At least Charles had been good for him, right? Sona had noticed the way Alastair lit up around Charles, the way he seemed so eager to please him.

‘Your Majesty,’ Charles addressed her. ‘If I knew you were coming, I would have dressed for the occasion.’

‘I am sorry,’ Sona said. ‘Did I wake you? I didn’t realize you tucked in early, I’ve always been a late sleeper myself. I was just looking for Alastair, is he here?’

‘No, he must have left when I was asleep. Usually he goes to the bathroom, his own private one. Even I am not allowed in there. He’s very attached to his privacy.’

Sona knew about the bathroom, the place he went to when he lost control. It was good for him to have such a place right? Somewhere it didn’t matter if the ice became too much for him, because no one would get hurt.

Sona forced a smile. ‘Thank you Charles. I think I’ll look for him there.’

‘I don’t think he’d like that.’

‘He’s my son, and I am worried about him.’

‘He’s been showing progress in his lessons lately,’ Charles said. ‘I do not think you have to worry.’

Sona just nodded, and closed the door. Charles was smart, responsible, and he knew politics, but sometimes she felt he didn’t know Alastair, didn’t understand him. Risa hated Charles, acted as if he’d stolen Alastair away from them, but Sona felt that was a bit too simplistic. It was a difficult situation for everyone, and they were all doing the best they could. Alastair had chosen to spend his time around Charles, and if that was what made him feel better, who was she to judge?

Sona knocked on the bathroom door. No response.

‘Alastair, I’m coming in!’ she called.

She didn’t like invading his privacy, but at least he’d be forced to acknowledge he was in there if he wanted to stop her. He didn’t say anything. Perhaps he wasn’t in the bathroom after all, but it couldn’t hurt to check.

She pulled on the door handle. It wouldn’t budge. Had Alastair locked himself in there? When she pulled a little harder, it broke open and Sona realized why she’d been unable to open the door. It was frozen. Everything in the bathroom was frozen, about half a meter of snow lying on the floor. It was a good thing the door opened to the outside, or she would not have gotten it open at all.

Alastair was lying on the snow, covered in a thin summer blanket. The cold had never bothered him, but he had always liked to hold a blanket when he slept. When he was little, he would sleep with a thin summer blanket in the coldest days of winter, perfectly content.

Should she wake him? He seemed peaceful, at least, now that he was asleep. But he had lost control in here before falling asleep, and she wanted to know what had happened. He hadn’t responded well to his father’s death, and she knew Elias and Alastair had never had the best relationship, but instead of grieving with her and Cordelia, he’d shut them out even more. Sona didn’t think he was alright.

Before she could make a decision, Alastair opened his eyes and pushed himself into a sitting position. Sona wrapped her arms around herself, it was freezing cold in here. That couldn’t be good for the baby, but she was determined to talk to her son.

‘What happened, azizam?’ she asked.

‘I’m sorry, maman,’ he said. ‘I lost control.’

‘I know,’ she said softly. ‘What happened?’

‘I was with Charles,’ he said. ‘He told me he’d been writing with the Duke of Weselton.’

Sona frowned. ‘What’s wrong with that? He’s one of our closest trading partners. Charles has not sabotaged our relationship with Weselton, has he?’

‘No, not like that. You see, the Duke has a daughter around my age and no other heir, and Charles wants to marry her. She will be here for the coronation, and Charles intends to propose there. He thinks the Duke is a powerful ally for him as well as for us. And the laws in Weselton are pretty backward, so if the Duke dies his daughter’s husband will inherit the title, the lands, everything.’

Sona knew Charles liked power, of course. Risa hated him for it, thought he couldn’t be trusted, but Sona couldn’t help but see that even if Charles was a little too power hungry for his own good, Alastair adored him. But if he took the title and became Duke of Weselton, why would that upset Alastair so much? Wouldn’t he be happy for his friend?

‘What does any of that have to do with you?’

Alastair sighed. ‘I know, it’s stupid. But he’ll leave me alone if he marries her. He’d go live in Weselton in the Duke’s palace. He cannot stay here anymore. He’s all I have, I couldn’t bear it if he left.’

Sona took his hand. It was ice cold. ‘You always knew he would return home someday, right? Charles was here to teach you and prepare you, and he has done that. You are ready to be king, joon-am. I know controlling the ice is hard, but you’re smart and compassionate and you will do fine if he’s not there.’

Secretly Sona thought perhaps Alastair would do even better without Charles there. She knew Alastair was kinder, and she feared perhaps it came from a place of self loathing but Alastair was not the kind of king who’d put his own needs before anyone else’s.

Alastair nodded weakly. ‘But I’d be all alone. When Charles and I first became friends, it was the first time I could control myself. As long as it was going well, I mean. I did sometimes lose control when he was upset with me, but he never saw. I don’t know what I’ll do when he’s gone.’

Alastair was crying. The tears froze into snowflakes before they even reached his cheeks. Watching her son cry had always been one of the strangest thing, as if he started snowing. It was heartbreaking to watch, and Sona wished she could hug him, but she knew Alastair wouldn’t let her. He was far too scared he’d hurt the baby.

‘You’re going to be alright,’ Sona said. ‘You’re lonely, I know that. Cordelia is too. But the coronation offers opportunities. Perhaps you’ll meet someone else who helps calm your moods and your ice. You could invite someone to stay, if you want, open the gates.’

Alastair shook his head. ‘It’s too dangerous. Charles is the only one I can trust. I tried, maman. I tried with Cordelia, but every time I go near her I am so scared I’ll hurt her and then the ice takes over.’

‘Perhaps we should return to Tessa,’ Sona suggested.

‘No. The coronation is too close. This curse, it can’t be controlled. Best to be alone, and do what’s right for Arendelle.’

Sona guessed if Alastair wouldn’t return to the village, she’d try to send an invitation for the coronation. Perhaps Tessa could come here and help figure out why Alastair couldn’t control the ice. It was the least she could do for her son.

#Alastair Carstairs #Cordelia Carstairs #Sona Carstairs #Charles Fairchild #Conceal don't feel #Frozen AU #fanfiction #the last hours #tlh

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thr-333 · 4 years ago

Text

Drastic Measures- Part 12

@daminette-december2019-2020

~Soul Mate~

I would like to point out that in my plan for this chapter i wrote ‘magic beam pew pew’ I take my work very seriously.

Ao3

First < Previous > Next

-----------------

“Were you like this for me?” Adrien pokes her with his foot.

“Worse believe it or not,” Marinette stares dreamily at the snowglobe, as she had been for the last hour.

“Terrifying," Adrien leans over her, teasing her, "You go it baaadd~”

“Adrien!” She pushes him away, blush taking over her face, “Plagg says something about cheese, not boys!”

“There’s an Akuma,” Plagg says deadpan, not what she was looking for but it will do.

“Saved by the moth,” Adrien jokes, opening the window.

“And they’re about to be saved by the bug,”

---

“I hate love Akuma,” Ladybug laments at the man heartbroken and sobbing, making it everyone else's problem.

“At least this one isn’t brainwashing anyone, maybe we should let it run around for a bit, let some people find their other half?” Ladybug sends Chat a death glare, “... orrr we could do our job and you stop glaring at me like that, that works too,”

“Ladybug,” Batman lands behind her, Ladybug can just feel her irritation rise.

“If you say what I think you’re going to say I am not helping,” She stares him down, completely serious. She. Is. Done.

“You’re a distraction, you need to leave-” That. Is. It.

“Chat make some popcorn we’ve got a show to watch,” Ladybug turns around, plopping herself on the edge of the building.

“Just couldn't help yourself could you?” Chat Noir asks Batman before joining her.

“You-”

“I’ll help when you apologize,” Ladybug cuts him off. Batman glares down at them for a few minutes before leaving to help the chaos below.

“Sooo, soul mates? do those actually exist?” Chat asks, the Akuma apparently trying to find their's as whoever they hit would have a line leading them to their soulmate. Meaning everyone hit was freaking out.

“Master Fu said they did, but I don’t think it's necessarily a romantic connection,” Below people with their act together are chasing after the lines while the Akuma wails they haven't found theirs yet.

“No?” The Akuma isn’t attacking anyone per se, just throwing the Bat pack back when they get too close.

“He said a soul mate was like a balance someone who is your opposite but also complementary,” Ladybug explains, “You balance each other out, strengthening each other,”

“Like us?” Chat grins, in the past it would have been an opportunity to flirt not anymore.

“Ideally, but Master Fu told me we weren't soulmates, that the balance was off, that's probably why this has been so difficult,” They might have been able to defeat Hawkmoth by now if they were.

“We still get along,” Chat looks wounded, Ladybug snapping back from her thoughts.

“Of course we do,” She quickly redeems, “Honestly I can’t picture a better partner,”

“Not even-”

“Finish that thought and I’ll throw you right off the roof,” Marinette glares knowing exactly where that's going.

“Fine, fine,” Chat surrenders, focusing again on the chaos below, “So what happens if you don’t find your soul mate?”

“Nothing usually, lots of people don't, as long as they're out there somewhere in the universe you’re at balance,” Ladybug still feels bad for the careless implication earlier, “Lucky Charm,”

“If they’re not?” Chat asks catching the Lucky Charm, a bucket of popcorn just their luck.

“If they’re gone they lose that balance, people can get a little unstable, traits becoming more extreme,” Ladybug munches on the popcorn with chat, “For a lot of people it’s not noticeable besides a mood swing but if you had a strong connection then the effects can be more drastic,”

“Think that happened Hawkmoth?” He says idly watching as a couple gets hit and their lines don't lead to each other.

“Maybe,” She hums as they start yelling at each other for cheating.

“Egh, Hawkmoth in a relationship? imagine if he had a child?” They both make a face, “They’d probably be a dick,”

“What?” Nightwing calls, trying to break up the fighting couple.

“Huh?”

“Nevermind!” Nightwing says quickly, getting hit over the head with a purse.

“Again, soulmates aren't inherently romantic,” Should probably tell the couple down there that, “But having someone that balances you perfectly can lead to romance,”

“Or a killer friendship,” Robin runs in to help break up the fight. It’s getting busy people apparently learning about the Akuma's power and now the Bats are mainly busy with crowd control.

“We don’t need to be soul mates to have that,” Ladybug smiles, stealing the popcorn.

“Pound it,” They say at the same time, falling into comfortable silence at the show below.

“Think we should help?” Chat asks eventually the streets crowded, the bats fruitlessly trying to keep people away from the dangerous Akuma.

“Have I gotten an apology?” Ladybug asks, feeling some satisfaction as a lady slaps Batman. Alright, a lot of satisfaction.

“Robin’s struggling,” And he really was trying to drag a hysterical teen away from the Akuma.

“Eh, he tried to stab me, call this payback,” And it looked like the teen wanted to stab him.

“Damn try to stab you find out who your soulmate is?” Chat whistles as the Akuma tries to hit Robin, “You drive a tough ship Milady,”

“Seriously Chat, edge of the building, can push you right off,”

“But you wo- AH!”

“Oh, but I will,”

She swings her legs. Chat catches himself as she knew he would and joins her back on the rooftop. Ladybug munches on the popcorn watching as Robin tries to avoid the beam while keeping people back.

It’s fun until it has consequences.

Robin gets hit, which would be all well and good if the line appearing wasn't connected directly to her. Robin looks up the line, finding a frozen Ladybug looking below.

“... Well Milady,” Chat gives an awkward thumbs up, “Good for you,”

---

“He might not be your real soulmate,” Adrien pats her back, Marinette's head buried into the pillows, “It was an Akuma's magic,”

“An Akuma is from miraculous magic,” Marinette complains, muffled into the pillows, “If there's one thing in the universe that can recognize soul mates it’s miraculous,”

“Alright let's calm down,” Adrien pushes her over so she is staring up at the ceiling, “You said soul mates don't have to be romantic, so really this doesn't change anything,”

“But Robin?” Marinette sits up cringing.

“Do you really hate him that much?” Adrien asks genuinely, Marinette flops back onto the bed.

“Ugh, no, I don’t hate him at all, mad at him sure, generally annoyed yes, but not hate,” She takes the snowglobe Damian brought her, looking at it sadly, “I just… can’t see why he is,”

“Could have been worse,” Adrien's tone turns lighter, obviously he’s about to try and cheer her up, keyword try, “What if your soul mate was Lila- AH!”

“You need to stop standing on ledges when you annoy me,” Marinette looks at him dispassionately as Adrien is sprawled over the floor.

---

She’s my soul mate! Ladybug is my soul mate

A cautious skeptical part of his mind warns that might not be right. It was a villain's magic, they could have been trying to manipulate them, it may be random or not accurate. Still, all of that depended on soul mates actually existing in the first place. But none of it mattered as Damian was practically giddy at the revelation.

He flops back on his bed staring dreamily at the ceiling. And yet still something nags at him. Not caution over being lied to or manipulated. It’s a feeling of loss. And he can’t figure out where it’s coming from.

Damian sighs in annoyance turning over to face his desk. He might as well get some work done. He freezes. Draped on the chair is the sweater Marinette made him. The feeling claws uncomfortably at his chest, worsening until he is forced to turn away.

Ladybug is my soul mate

---

“Hey does anyone know why Bruce is having a heart attack,” Jason walks into the cave, throwing his helmet to the side, “And follow up, who caused it? I’d like to personally thank them,”

“Jason!” Dick chides, still hovering around a catatonic Bruce.

“It was me? I wasn't even in town,” Jason whistles, “I have to pat myself on the back for that one usually it takes a lot more effort,”

“It’s not you, it’s Damian,” Dick rolls his eyes, leaving the unresponsive Batman.

“What did demon spawn do?”

“He’s going to marry Ladybug!” Dick whisper shouts, excitement practically radiating off him.

“... how long was I gone for?” Jason asks, “I was gone for three days, did Gotham get stuck in some time paradox no one bothered to mention?”

Did the demon spawn really propose? Honestly, it wouldn't have been the craziest thing their family has done, actually, it would be borderline sane in comparison.

---------

No taglist :P

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug fic #miraculous ladybug #miraculous fanfic #maribat #Marinette #badass marinette #miraculous marinette #daminette #marinette x damian

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spencersawkward · 4 years ago

Text

switchblade faith//spencer reid - chapter 8

summary: one month after joining the BAU, Clea is still settling in. between solving murders and getting acclimated to DC, the only comfortable thing in her life is her friendship with Dr. Spencer Reid.

pairing: Fem!OC/Spencer

word count: 3.9k

content warnings: discussion of a dead body (for a case), discussion of sensory overload (idk if that's a warning but just in case).

A/N: sorry this took so long! i've had a lot of writer's block with this series, but i'm feeling a lot more motivated with it, now. anyway enjoy!

masterlist

my feet slam into the pavement at a rate that makes me wonder if my heart can take it. I can feel the air in my lungs, stinging, and the way it never seems like enough. I can't stop. my arms are pumping and my legs burn.

I'm sure I look like a mess right now, exhausted and sweaty as I make my way up the biggest hill by my apartment. I haven't been running in a while, and this incline is even more daunting than it was before.

I use the momentum I've built from before now and force myself up. every breath rips through me violently until I'm sure that if I stop running, I'll collapse. but I keep pushing, knowing it'll be worth it.

I hated running until college. just absolutely despised the thought of getting outside and forcing myself to move quickly. the older I get, though, the more refreshing it's gotten. it helped me escape from midterms, from the pressure that constantly seemed to mount with every passing day. sometimes it feels like all of it keeps piling on, and it's never going to stop.

of course, that's not really the way to look at life. I've had things to balance out the work, friends to call and ways to let out the hammering violence that always seem to fill the spaces between my ribs. running clears my head when nothing else does.

once I get to the top, I bend over and rest my palms on my knees so that I can relax. I can hear my heart beating in my ears and can feel my pulse thudding against my throat. it's good, though. I needed to do this again, to get exercise.

I resist the urge to lay down flat on the pavement. DC isn't really a good place to do that; everyone around me is on a morning stroll with their partner or they're out for a jog themselves. I pass several enthusiastic-looking dogs out for a walk. the sheer number of people around me should make me feel normal.

it doesn't.

I straighten and stretch out my muscles, wincing at the way my calves feel if I move them funny. I don’t want to get called in for a case today, but that's naive. there will always be another case because there will always be people we need to stop. maybe I'm just not jaded enough to not care. I like to think that's a good thing, though.

...

when I head into the office a couple hours later, there's a to-go cup of coffee resting on my desk. I smile to myself, set my bag down and shrug off my coat, then peek over the divider to see Spencer with a case file open and an identical to-go cup a couple inches away.

"is this your doing?" I refer to the coffee. he nods and smiles at me, seemingly not in the mood to talk.

"thanks, Reid."

sitting down to do some work, I sneak a peek at him. Spencer is acting different from last weekend. more shy. I'm not really sure the reason, unless he just felt particularly outgoing at the party and is now back to his default self.

we get a case before the hour is up, and then my mind is occupied by the details.

jet rides, though now a familiar routine, are probably my favorite part of the job. I don't feel totally unproductive, but I still have time to unwind and talk to people on our way. Emily and I have gotten much closer within the past few weeks and sometimes she tells me stories about her old job that keep me on the edge of my seat.

there's something so mysterious about her that I just appreciate; she's like a cool older cousin to me. and she's great at making fun of Morgan, which is something that I've found enjoyable as well. sometimes he needs to be knocked down a peg-- she's the woman to do it.

"how many?" I trace my finger down the smooth skin of Derek's arm, where he's lifted his sleeve just enough to show the inked lion. it's a big tattoo, and I'm somewhat surprised he has one at all. he just doesn't really seem the type.

"five right now." he flexes his bicep flirtatiously, and I immediately remove my hand with a repulsed expression, rolling my eyes at the chuckle he lets out.

"don't feed his ego like that." Emily warns from across the table. she's flipping through one of the plant magazines that we've stashed in the snack cupboards (much to Hotch's disapproval). I turn to see Morgan's reaction.

"you a little jealous, Prentiss?" he teases. her only response is a glance that dares him to push further. they both know that Emily has absolutely no interest in him, which I suppose adds to their friendship. Morgan leans down by my ear, but he makes no effort to quiet his voice. "you should ask about her tattoos."

"you have tattoos?" my eyes widen at this, voice a little louder than usual. Hotch glances over at us from his seat a ways away, but doesn't say anything. Reid is passed out on the couch, strangely tired for the middle of the day; Rossi's writing something in his miniature journal.

"that's not anyone's business." she says more to Morgan than to me.

"I wanna see!" I set my glass of ice water down on the table and straighten up. Emily pretends to be exhausted by the persistence, but she closes her magazine momentarily.

"look, I can't show them all here." she raises a suggestive eyebrow.

"then how does Derek know?" I smirk. Emily makes a face, but Morgan is the one who replies.

"this one gets a little loose-lipped when she drinks too much." he teases. I snort and glance at Emily. I've seen her tipsy before, but never drunk. at most, she gets affectionate with all of us and calls us her best friends in the whole world. which, honestly, isn't an unwelcome sentiment.

"I do not." she argues.

"yeah, you do." Reid mumbles from the couch cushion where he's been resting his head. I jump at the sudden noise, and we all turn to him.

"look who's up." Emily smiles. Reid stretches his legs out, limbs so long that his feet hang off the end of the couch. he's wearing mismatched socks again today, one with bananas and one covered in sushi rolls. I smile to myself.

"I'm not," he argues. "someone had to correct you."

Morgan and I let out an amused laugh. my eyes dart between Spencer and the two other agents. "I feel like I'm the only one here who hasn't seen Prentiss drunk."

"yes, you have." she frowns.

"no. not, like, plastered."

"don't let Garcia hear you say that." Morgan laughs. I snort.

"why?"

"any excuse to party, and she'll take it." he shakes his head affectionately.

"she'd just call it bonding." Prentiss adds in. I have a soft spot in my heart for Pen. for all of the darkness we see here, she makes it a little bit brighter with her quips and sparkly pens and neon glasses. she's a blessing.

"what's so bad about that?" I defend for her sake.

"nothing's wrong with it, per se," Emily shrugs. "it just means we aren't as professional as we should be."

"I'd argue that our job actually means we get to let loose more when we have the time." I shrug. Morgan offers his fist to pound, and I oblige with a satisfied smile.

"you two are children, you know that?" Emily gestures between Derek and me. I shrug, about to return to my crossword when she speaks again. "how many tattoos do you have, Clea?"

I blink for a second, deciding whether or not to lie. it would be kind of cool to sound badass, but I don't know if I even have the mental capability to fib to a bunch of profilers. "none."

"what?" Morgan looks at me with confusion.

"yeah, none. why is that such a big surprise?" I laugh at their reactions. Prentiss is alarmed, too.

"I don't know-- you seem like the kind of person to get a heart tattooed on your thigh or something." Morgan shrugs. I make a face, silent.

"that's offensive."

Prentiss snorts and finishes her drink. I peek over and see Reid with his eyes closed but a slightly amused smile on his face. by the couch, I can see through the window. we're slipping through gray clouds that are saturated with rain, and the weather change causes the jet to shake a bit.

my fingertips wrap around the arm of the seat and Emily eyes me warily.

"you okay?"

"don't like flying." I answer, nostrils flaring slightly. usually with these trips, I've been able to hide my apprehension for flying by holding onto my knee below the table or something, but the sudden jerks are putting me off.

it's stupid-- plane anxiety is ridiculously common, and I don't think it's necessarily unwarranted. the problem is that to a bunch of people trained in behavioral analysis, it shows a blatant fear of not having control.

which is true, but it's not like I need that plastered all over my face every time we board a flight.

"would you get a tattoo if you could?" Emily changes the subject, thankfully, and I bite down on my bottom lip.

"I think so, yeah." it's said without much thought; all that's on my mind right now is wondering what our ETA is. Morgan shifts in his seat to smirk.

"really."

"sure."

he nods appreciatively before turning to look back out the window. droplets of moisture are collecting there, but they only distort the image of Portland stretched out below. the water is steel gray and rippled with wind.

I've never been here. for some reason, I find myself wondering what it smells like. that mingling of city scent and ocean, if they meet in the middle to form their own distinct identity. if it will settle on my tongue and in my clothes.

it's funny to me that when I go to different places and return, I don't notice how different it all smells until I breathe it in through the fabric of my shirts, and from there it all comes rushing back. Spencer mentioned during a case once that scent creates the most powerful memory reaction out of all our senses-- and I believe it.

DC smells like humidity and rain-slicked streets, Montana like dust. even the jet has a particular one that I don't associate with anything right now, but I know I will in the future. like I'm standing in the formation of a memory.

half-baked.

...

we've got the hoods of our raincoats up as we make our way into the office of our latest victim. Morgan holds the door and I wander in, staring up at the enormous glass walls of the place. a stray droplet falls from the hood of my jacket and onto my nose, rolling down the bridge and causing me to sniffle.

her boss is surprisingly dismissive of us when we get to his office, reluctantly getting off a phone call and giving me something of a dead-fish handshake. as we take a seat at his desk, I can smell the overbearing stench of his expensive cologne.

he's got exactly the kind of look that I wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole: taut, judgmental face with a stiff mustache and slicked-back black hair that honestly is probably dyed. his eyes linger on me for a bit longer than I appreciate, but I clear my throat and try to brush off the discomfort.

Winona's body was found in a ditch off the side of a highway, dumped like trash. based on the ME report, she was alive when he threw her in, but died shortly after from her wounds. the whole thing is gruesome and as her employer notes her tendency to daydream and occasional tardiness, I want to reach across the table to smack him.

Morgan is able to keep his cool better than I can, nodding. I know it's important to know her behaviors in order to build our profile, but I still don't like the way this guy is talking about her.

"she wasn't really the strongest employee we've got, but she was nice enough around the office." he shrugs. I notice the gold wedding band that glints on his ring finger, the way he leans back in his swivel chair. he's got evaluative eyes.

by the time we're done, I'm practically flying out the door of his office and hurrying to the elevator. we got what we needed to know from him, if not through a somewhat convoluted method.

"nice guy." I note sarcastically after punching the down button. Morgan tucks his hands into his jeans pockets and looks at our warped reflections in the elevator doors.

"we talk to a lot of people like that. you get used to it."

"didn't seem too concerned about her at all."

"I don't think guys like that are concerned about much more than themselves."

"you should have mentioned a tax evasion investigation happening around here," I smirk. "that would probably put the fear of God into him."

Morgan chuckles and looks over at me. it would be unprofessional to fist bump with so many people around, although the smile we share is definitely a great equivalent.

as we pack into the metal box with a bunch of employees, they look at us curiously. the enormous FBI label on the back of our jackets probably doesn't help, but I pretend to look like I know what I'm doing as we step out into the lobby.

in all reality, faking it until I make it is the only thing I know how to do.

...

the late night cravings come as a surprise as I stand over a map of Portland. my eyes are starting to cross from staring at all the minuscule details for so long, and my fingers are twitching from a mixture of hunger and overloaded caffeine.

we were supposed to go to bed about two hours ago, but I know for a fact that I'm not the only one sitting in my motel room with open files and a determined expression. I do happen to be the only person rooming alone, however, and the silence has been helpful.

Reid's been working on a geographic profile, but there's something missing. I'm not sure what it is. all I know is that if I don't figure it out soon, it's going to eat away at me. based on his activity patterns, there are only a few more days before this guy abducts another woman.

except now I'm just thinking about how much time we don't have, and that sort of sends me into a spiral, too. I'm prepared to always be running against a clock for this job, but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm going to lose it if I stare at any more tiny lines indicating roads or side streets or whatever else demands attention.

I need to get out of my head.

before taking time to really consider anything else, I grab my phone and look up pizza places nearby. what I need right now is some sustenance and tv-- or at least something to distract me enough to recharge.

I change into my pjs and wash my face while I wait for the delivery person to arrive, try to ease the day out of my bones. there used to be a whole process for me after work every day, where I'd shut off my brain. The Real Housewives of Atlanta provided ample help for this, along with fuzzy socks and glasses of red wine. I can make do with this.

once the pizza guy comes and I pay for my food, I don't even make way to my room; instead, I go to the person I know who needs this more than I do.

"Clea?" Spencer rubs his eyes as he swings open the door, glasses held in the other hand.

"hi." I smile brightly.

"what are you doing here?" his soft tone and the dim light from a motel lamp in the corner tells me that Morgan is asleep right now in the other bed.

in response to his question, I hold up the box of pizza with a grin. his eyes widen.

"I can't eat all this alone." definitely a lie, but saying that he needs to take a break probably wouldn't sway him enough.

for a second, Spencer seems to debate this in his head. when he runs a shaky hand through his hair, I roll my eyes. "it's pizza, dude. not a wedding proposal. you can go back to the case in twenty minutes."

he nods this time and looks up at me as I turn and start toward my room. closing the door gently behind him, I don't miss the way he increases his pace a little to catch up with me.

"did you get mushrooms?" he asks. I throw him a disgusted look before realizing what he's talking about and breaking into a grin.

"you remembered!" I reference my hatred of the fungus. Spencer smiles with pride, turns his gaze to the carpeted floors. I unlock the door and let us in.

"of course I remember," he snorts. "it's hard to forget."

I giggle at the way he immediately uses the sink to wash his hands, and I join him after setting the box on the bed.

"favorite soap scent?" I ask absently. suds cover my fingers as he rinses the water from his. normally, this isn't a question I'd ask, but Spencer seems like he would have a response.

"you know, I really enjoy anything fresh-smelling," he thinks about it. "like waterfall smell."

"I like those, too."

"what's your favorite?"

"there's this brand that I love that specializes in antibacterial soaps, and they have a lavender one that literally makes me ascend." I laugh. Spencer is drying his hands with a folded towel and his face lights up.

"Ravi's Organics?" he suggests. my heart leaps with recognition.

"yes! oh my god, have you used their cracked cinnamon one?"

"I have the hand sanitizer in my bag." Reid's eyes are so pretty. they sparkle with a hazel color, almost chocolatey in the cheap motel light.

"they have a hand sanitizer for it?" my jaw drops. he nods and I shake my head slowly. we walk over to the bed to eat the pizza. he seems hesitant, though, and pauses.

it takes me a second to remember that Spencer has different boundaries and is just kind of awkward in general. even though there's no obvious tension between us, I don't want to make him uncomfortable, so I plop down on the floor.

"you like Ravi's Organics." he states it back to himself more than to me, and as I pop open the box to reveal a beautiful pepperoni pizza, I nod vigorously.

"yeah, it's actually kind of a funny story," we start to dig in immediately. I lift an enormous slice to my lips and bite into the perfection. it's so good. "when I was little, my parents used to call me Rascal."

"Rascal?" he laughs through a bite of food.

"like the raccoon? from that book?" it's a kid's story.

"why?" he snorts. I take a second to chew before replying.

"I just get really overwhelmed by certain sensory things-- like, I hate being sticky or having any kind of weird texture on my hands. so whenever we went out to eat or anything, I would always sit on the outside of the booth so I could run to the bathroom and wash my hands as I pleased." I explain all of this with a slight frown on my face. it's true, I've just never really thought about it.

"I don't like sticky stuff, either." he offers.

"yeah, it got pretty bad. but I guess I just grew out of it. I'm not sure when." I pluck a piece of pepperoni off the top and slide it into my mouth.

Spencer takes in this information for a second while he eats, and I'm momentarily worried that I've overshared. he came for some food and now I've served up a weird childhood memory to accompany it.

but then he does something funny and altogether endearing.

"actually, raccoons are very cleanly creatures, despite their dietary habits." he tells me.

frankly, it makes me feel better than anything else that he could have said. "fastidious little things, right?"

"exactly." he chuckles. his shoulders are hunched, elbows leaning on his knees.

"fix your posture." I say gently, noticing the way his spine curves abysmally when he's sitting across from me. his cheeks turn a pretty pink, but he follows directions.

"is it that bad?" he's a bit embarrassed. immediately, I soften and do what comes easily, making a joke.

"if you don't work on it, you're gonna be living in a French cathedral by the age of thirty."

Spencer snorts-- genuinely almost chokes on his food-- and looks at me with his almost childlike eyes. there's something in them that I can't decipher at all, almost so obvious that it completely goes over my head.

"that was mean." he's still trying to recover from the onset of giggles, and I lean forward to grab another slice, suppressing a proud grin myself.

"your future straight-backed self will thank me."

"I'll remember that." he nods dutifully.

"I'm sure you will."

we share a secretive smile before I bite into my pizza and launch into a different subject. the more I learn about Spencer, the more I want to know. I feel like there are things beneath every new surface that would be fascinating to understand.

"what's it like having an eidetic memory?"

he frowns like he isn't sure how to answer. I thought he'd already have something locked and loaded, a prepared response for a question he definitely gets frequently. when he opens his mouth, I find myself hanging on every word. "it's... interesting."

"blessing or a curse?"

"both."

"would you ever give it up if given the option?" I narrow my eyes a bit. I'm especially curious about this.

"no." this is delivered with certainty. for a second, I stare at him with about a million more questions in my head. of course, they're completely out-of-bounds and way too personal, but they're still there.

"hm." I say instead. as usual, delivering thrilling commentary at every turn.

Spencer peeks at me over his pizza for a second, seeming to want to say something else, but decides against it. our eyes meet; I'm not sure what it is, maybe a silent agreement or something else that's unspoken, but we decide not to press further on either end.

whatever he's got tucked away in that big brain of his, he's not ready to talk about it with anyone-- much less a new colleague in a dumpy motel. there's a time and place for certain things, and boundaries to respect.

I change the subject before he can make some lame excuse to leave. for some reason, I just don't want him to leave me here in this room.

taglist (lmk if you wanna be added/removed for this series): @reidsconverse @voidsfilm

#spencer reid #spencer reid fic #criminal minds fic #criminal minds #best friends to lovers #fanfic #mgg #matthew gray gubler #baby spencer #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader

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seokmingiggles · 4 years ago

Text

on cerulean tides.

Anon requested on 201219: "Would you do an idol!Kim Namjoon one shot where the reader (non-idol) is best friends with the Maknaes and believes there's no way Namjoon would ever like her so she begins to avoid him whenever she hangs out with the Maknaes at the dorms/studio/dance practice to try to get over him and Joon picks up on it and thinks he did something wrong/is sad since he thinks he stands no chance with her until the Maknaes force them to realize they return each other's feelings? Thank you in advance!"

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x female reader

Genre: angst to fluff, idol!au, non-idol!reader, happy ending.

3.04k words

Warnings: heavy feelings of inferiority and insecurity, self-doubt, an incredibly brief mention of alcohol consumption, a dragged out metaphor about the sea.

With the ocean of uncertainty plaguing you, you've been avoiding the boy your heart yearns for, not knowing just how much your distance has been impacting him too. Alternatively, Namjoon is your beacon to guide you through the stormy feelings of self-doubt that you've been struggling with lately.

A/N: Thank you for your request! I probably made this much angstier than you intended, but I promise a fluffy ending awaits you. I hope it's okay! (I promise it’s not some pirate!au with a title like this lmao)

This one is dedicated to anyone who feels doubtful of themself. I wish that one day you will be able to see what an astonishing and beautiful being you are. All of us have insecurities about ourselves—big or small—but letting those criticisms consume you is unhealthy and prevents you from living your life to the fullest. Please reach out to talk to someone you trust if these feelings become overwhelming. Things will get better. Please take care of yourself!

•• You and Jimin laughed as you ran down the hallway, each of you with a bag of food in your arms. You could hear Taehyung and Jungkook scampering behind you, the former being noisy as he chased after you, Jungkook only had slightly more grace as he moved.

Being close with the maknae line of BTS had its perks. You could visit them in the studio if they called for you, you could have movie nights at their dorm on their off days, and above all, you could goof around to lift your spirits. You had boundaries; you knew when to leave them be during the busier periods of their schedules and how you couldn't post anything about them online. You didn't mind, though. Your friendship was more than enough.

You were a high school classmate of Jungkook's a few years back, although the two of you never spoke much during those first couple of years. It was only after his group's debut where the boy found himself in need of a tutor, and the school recommended a few to him. Yours was the only name on the list that Jungkook recognized, so it was an easy decision for him to make. Once you and your classmate graduated high school, Jungkook was no longer in need of a tutor, but he wanted to maintain your friendship as he didn't have many others he was close to in your graduating class. Slowly but surely, you also became friends with Taehyung and Jimin when visiting Jungkook over the years. Now, the four of you were practically inseparable. While the boys wouldn't tell you to your face, they all admired you because you never once treated them differently despite their status as idols, especially as their public popularity increased over time.

Jimin reached the vacant studio room before you, holding the door open to let you inside before shouting back at his friends, "You two better hurry up or else (Y/N)-ah and I will eat all the food!"

"Oh, I believe it!" Taehyung cupped his mouth as he yelled back, being pulled by the younger boy at his wrist.

Soon enough, Jungkook and Taehyung made it to the room before Jimin could lock them out. This whole ordeal began when Taehyung needed to use the bathroom after you all had entered the BigHit building. Jungkook went with him, leaving you and Jimin with the lunch he'd ordered.

"All that running from you guys worked up my appetite," you declared as you removed the assortment of containers from one of the bags.

"Well, all that chasing worked up mine," Taehyung countered, teasingly sneering at you and Jimin, the latter already breaking apart his disposable chopsticks.

The four of you began to devour your meal. The three boys were in the middle of a busy working day and invited you to join them for their lunch break. It wasn't an uncommon request; you'd see the trio at least once a week, sometimes more if their schedules cooperated.

Some playful banter with full mouths and filling tummies later, you were sitting back in your chair as you watched Jungkook finish the last of the japchae when someone knocked on the studio door.

After Jungkook managed a "Come in," with his cheeks full of noodles, it was Namjoon's head that poked through the doorway.

"I just want to remind you three that you'll be needed for our meeting in fifteen minutes," the group leader said, eyeing the now-emptied remnants of the lunch you enjoyed. "Hi, (Y/N)."

"Hi, Namjoon." You matched his monotonous tone, maintaining difficult eye contact as he shut the door behind him.

"Okay, whatever is going on between you two needs to stop," Jimin sighed out, visibly frustrated. "You used to get along so well with hyung, and now it's so awkward seeing you interact."

Taehyung sat up straighter, "I agree. You two have so much in common. It's sad to see you so distant now."

Jimin and Taehyung were right. You and Namjoon had to do a lot of scheduling together back when you were Jungkook's tutor, so he was the first one you'd gotten to know in the band, other than your former classmate. The two of you shared a similar mindset: you were both compassionate, responsible, and—arguably above all else—incredibly bad at sharing your feelings.

You wished you could determine the exact moment you began to develop feelings for Namjoon. Maybe it was something about his warm smile; maybe it was his cheery laugh. Or perhaps the way he so intently listened to what the others had to say and would consider ideas other than his own. You not once ever doubted his ability as a leader. You've known the boys since their debut, and even back then, you found Namjoon fit for his role; he's only become better at his job in the passing years.

Yet, something about him made you doubt your ability to be his equal. Part of you knew it was silly to begin avoiding Namjoon in the first place, but the other part of you couldn't bear to suffocate with those annoying butterflies swarming every time your gaze met his. Even from across a room, Namjoon had a powerful effect on you. Part of you wanted his impact on you to stop; part of you missed his closeness.

"Jungkook, you're being awfully quiet," Jimin exchanged a look with Taehyung, "Do you know something that we don't?"

Your head snapped up in Jungkook's direction, silently begging for the boy to deny their assumption.

The youngest hummed and grabbed a water bottle, twisting the cap off and taking a sip. He swished the water around in his mouth.

"Don't make me squish your cheeks to spit out that water, Jeon."

Jungkook swallowed. He glanced at you for confirmation, although instead, took in your tired appearance. He brought it upon himself to make your exhaustion stop.

"(Y/N)-ie likes Namjoon."

You sighed at hearing those words aloud. You couldn't even be mad at your friend; the only way he found out about your feelings was over some drinks one night where you were rambling about how pretty you thought Namjoon looked earlier that day. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't a good idea to tell your crush's bandmate that you liked him.

Jimin shifted in his seat, "Okay, and...? Don't tell me you thought we didn't already know, (Y/N)-ie."

"Yeah, it was obvious when you'd become flustered around hyung!" Taehyung added, "But after you began avoiding him I figured something had changed."

You fiddled with the cap of your water bottle. "Does he know?"

"Namjoon? No, there's no way. He's about as clueless as you are when it comes to crushes." Jimin pondered then continued, "Maybe we could talk to him about it-"

"Absolutely not."

"But why not (Y/N)? It's painful for us to watch the two of you interact lately; it must be worse for you guys."

"I don't want him to know."

"That's not a good reason-"

"It's good enough for me. Now please, can we just forget about it? Don't you guys have a meeting to get to?" You felt bad for shutting down their request. After all, they were only trying to help you.

The boys began to stand, collecting the bags and containers scattered on the floor. They were visibly defeated, but they respected your plead.

Jimin stood by you before turning to the door, "Okay, if that's what you wish, we won't tell him. I do think you should, though, (Y/N). Maybe the results will be in your favour."

•

You felt numb as you were on the bus heading back to your apartment. You tried to escape from your thoughts about the boy you were so fond of, yet your mind defeatedly wandered its way back to him no matter how hard you tried. It pained you to see Namjoon's behaviour shift with yours as you began to avoid him throughout the past month. You didn't realize how severe it had become until your friends pointed it out to you. You thought the distance you created would help alleviate the pounding sensation in your chest and clammy palms associated with Namjoon's presence. You never thought that one day you'd prefer your racing heart to the emptiness you feel now.

He's too good for me, you kept convincing yourself until it was all that you believed.

He couldn't love someone like me.

You have struggled with self-compassion throughout your life thus far. Feelings of gratitude coming in inconsistent waves like the unpredictable ocean tides. You were stormier lately—lost in the sea of doubt and floundering to find stability on shore again.

Namjoon used to be your lifeboat. He taught you that appreciating oneself is necessary to become genuinely happy. He even wrote lyrics about the phenomenon. He made it sound so simple, so achievable. Yet, the theory is typically easier than the practice. Wind and rain continued to pelt down at you, thrashing the waves beneath your surface and making it difficult to breathe.

You wanted to change your mentality; you wanted to be more confident. But constantly comparing yourself to others is equivalent to drowning in the murky ocean, the depths sucking you further and further below until not a trace of sunlight remains.

You made it back to your apartment safely in one piece. You were mentally exhausted and drained at all of your overthinking. You felt the need to cry out of frustration.

"Remember to breathe when you're feeling like this. Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

Namjoon's voice resounded in your head from a few months back when you overheard him calming Taehyung down in a neighbouring room.

You missed hearing his voice.

It was an unmistakable desire. You missed the way he'd look at you with utmost attention and care when you'd speak with him. You missed the way he'd give his thoughtful advice. You missed his smile, his laughter; you missed him. You longed to be back in Namjoon's presence. He always knew what to do or say to help calm the storm. He was a lighthouse beckoning you back safely to shore.

You were getting tired of avoiding him.

But you were also getting tired.

Padding your way to your bed, you slipped into comfy loungewear and got beneath your covers. You momentarily stared up at the ceiling before closing your eyes.

"Come on, just slow, deep breaths."

•

Your ringing phone was what awoke you. It could have been minutes or hours later; you weren't sure. You reluctantly pushed yourself out of your blanketed fortress and made your way to the kitchen counter where you left the device. It was still light outside, but you could see the sun beginning to approach the horizon line.

"Hello?" You said, cursing in your head for the way your groggy voice sounded.

"Hi, (Y/N). It's been a while. Could we talk?"

You froze, being doused by the icy sea.

"Um..." you hesitated. You were caught off guard in a place that was supposed to be your retreat, by a person who was supposed to be your oasis.

"Deep breaths."

"Yeah, I-I guess we could talk."

"Great. Would it be okay if I came to you? I'm almost done here in the studio, maybe another thirty minutes before I can head out."

You were nodding your head before you verbalized your agreement.

"Okay. I'll see you soon, (Y/N)."

"See you, Namjoon."

You hung up first and set your phone back onto the kitchen counter, your elbows following shortly after so you could place your face in your hands.

You knew this was coming; Namjoon was a responsible young adult. There was no way he could have missed your change in behaviour around him as much as you wished for otherwise.

•

Thirty minutes went by faster than you wished. The sharp knock on your door startled you as you were washing some dishes in the kitchen. Cleaning when stressed wasn't an unusual habit of yours.

You hesitated, grabbing a tea towel to dry your hands before treading carefully to the door.

"Deep breaths."

You removed the chain and carefully opened the door. You knew Namjoon was waiting for you on the other side, yet your breath still hitched as your eyes wandered upwards to meet his.

"Come in," you forced from your lips and stepped to the side to let your guest past.

Namjoon thanked you as he slipped his shoes off and made his way to your sofa, declining your offer of a drink.

You joined him shortly after, keeping him more than an arms-length away.

"What's wrong, (Y/N)?"

"Deep breaths."

"Did Jimin mention anything to you?" You could tell your voice sounded weak, but you had other pressing concerns.

"Nothing elaborate. All I was told by him and Taehyung was that I should try talking to you. They didn't say why, but I think we both know."

You searched his face for any signs of dishonesty but found none. "Nothing's wrong-"

"Please," he pushed, "I'd like to think I know you well enough over the years. Something is wrong. I should have come here sooner. You know you can trust me." He even bared a small smile after his words.

It only made your heart plummet further into the depths: a watery grave with your name written on it.

"You're just..." you sighed out, already feeling tears prickling at your eyes. "You're really... just... good. I hope you know how good of a person you are, Namjoon. I don't know how else to explain it. You're a good person. No, that's an understatement. You're... it sometimes doesn't feel like you're real, you know? You're just so giving and considerate and so aware of others' wellbeing." You failed to hold back your emotions; a tear slid down your cheek. "You're good."

And proving your point, Namjoon slid closer to you on the couch so he could take your hand in his.

"Sometimes I feel so insignificant," you continued, "like I'm nobody special or that I'm not doing anything important or worthwhile; that I'm not enough. It's like I'm stuck on the bottom of the ocean. I'm not drowning, but I'm able to see the world passing by above me."

Namjoon said nothing for a moment and just absorbed your thoughts as he mindlessly brushed his thumb across the back of your hand. "There are times in everyone's' life where we all feel that way. You can only tread water for so long before you exhaust yourself and begin to sink. I've felt that way, too—stuck, insignificant. If I'm being blunt, part of my desire to change my mindset was because of you, (Y/N). When I first met you as Jungkook's tutor, you seemed so knowledgable, responsible; you had a good head on your shoulders. You were good. Part of you reminded me of myself, yet part of me also felt intimidated by you." Namjoon stopped momentarily to smile at your astonished face as you mouthed 'intimidated?'. "Yes, intimidated. I've admired you since day one. Then slowly, I realized that those feelings became more than just a simple admiration. But I held back saying anything because I didn't feel worthy of you. I let my own self-doubt get in the way."

"I'm the one not worthy of you, 'Joon."

"Please, love, nothing about that is true," the boy's voice became so tender as he brought his free hand to the side of your face. "One day, I'll show you just how incredible you are to me," he swiped his thumb to collect a stray tear, "but right now, I think you're more in need of a tissue and a hug."

A small, breathy laugh fell from your lips as you accepted the tissue Namjoon retrieved for you. After effectively wiping away your salty tears, you gladly situated yourself in his outstretched arms, being held in a tight embrace. The two of you remained like that until your breathing gradually calmed down, then you moved so you were lying against him with your back to his chest. His nose lightly nuzzled the top of your head.

"All of us have a bit of the ocean inside of us," Namjoon continued, delicately grazing his thumb around the curved corner of your eye, "it means you have the power to control the waves to some extent. The sea can be unpredictable, but so is life. It takes practice to learn to control your waves. I know you may not believe in yourself now, but please, (Y/N), believe me when I tell you that you're enough. You're more than enough."

•

Namjoon stayed with you for the rest of the evening to make sure your spirits were lifted even the slightest bit. The distance that grew between you was from a mutual error; you came to understand your similar sides to the story as you continued to talk. The whole ordeal made you realize that you're not alone in your insecurities. Even someone you suspected to be flawless had doubts of their own.

You were situated back in your bed after Namjoon had left minutes ago. He wished you a good night and pleasant dreams, topping off his adieu with a quick peck to your cheek. You relished in the feeling of your butterflies returning, no longer letting them suffocate you, instead, embracing them in their colourful magnificence.

You recalled what Namjoon said earlier to you:

"You know, what you said about the ocean, it can be beautiful too. Yes, it's scary when you're alone and trapped at the bottom beneath the waves in the dark, but the thing about the sea is that it's continuously moving and shifting. Like our lives, tides come in highs and lows and can change from day-to-day, hour-to-hour. It's unfair to assume we can always remain floating on the surface; when that happens, you can't go anywhere yourself. You need to be partially submerged to move and make choices.

Why don't we traverse this sea together? We can help guide each other until we've found our shore again."

Namjoon was your lighthouse; you were the moon guiding his tides.

••

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