#maybe idk im angy
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winter time donna
drew donna (and angie) for an assignment,,.. i think i'm satisfied with how it turned out but also oh my god painting is NOT my strong suit
have the whole 8 MINUTES AND 52 SECONDS timelapse omfg i struggled so much
#i had to keep telling myself to trust the process i am so not used to painting#im not too good with backgrounds either im sorry this is so lame 😭#idk the composition is also kinda fucked but oh well#maybe ill redraw this in the future when im better at painting/rendering#donna beneviento#angie beneviento#resident evil village#resident evil#re8#resident evil 8#re8 village#re8 fanart#resident evil fanart#tem draws
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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Hey wanna see Serial Designation X?
BAP
#murder drones#md oc#oc#art#srry only drew him on paper#could draw digitally later maybe?#idk im bad at digital tho#she uses any pronouns if ur asking btw#and theyre genderfluid#and lesbian#and ace#i swear theyre not a self insert-#right eye can bootloop#thats why its covered#also dont mind xem flipping you off#xe's a lil angy right now
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which part of the brain do you think Angela lives in the most?
i dont know what genres of brain i have but im pretty sure shes made her way through at least all of them
#girlie out here finding rooms up there i didnt even know i had. thats barely a joke.#though maybe that was carmen. or also carmen. it was her at some point too. idk what shes doing Now but she did Something#even if im much much quieter about her i still quite like her a lot.#piktalk#projmoon#angie just has a dedicated chair in the corner yknow. its always there; she just kinda hangs out.
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sobriety update: feeling nervous and unexcited for today. seeing one of my drinking buddies and the girl she introduced me to before i had to leave the room to hurl. originally the activity was gonna be "mix a buncha drinks at the girl's house" and I said im sober and you guys can drink but if the only activity is drinking id like to do something else. So they made the hang out sober. I should note that when i told my drinking buddy i was getting sober she said she knew she had a problem too but didnt intend on stopping. I'm not feeling optimistic but luckily she has to leave pretty early and we're not hanging out at her place for once so it shouldnt last long.
#it also doesnt help that i appear to be getting the dissociative angry psychosis episode which sucks bc it means No Talk Me I Angy#i dont wanna hang out at fucking all#i have work to be doing#they live far#maybe i can fake something idk#she'd get it if i told her the depression was getting me#which it is#im terrified of confronting the people who are a major part of my little ✨️problem✨️#just even seeing them brings me so much shame#and this friend is just so intense and tiring#I'll have to see her eventually though#sigh maybe i can take her out to eat or smthn#lessons of the hand and the mouth#sobriety update#drugs tw
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Hey guys i've found myself defending America and it feels weird but can yall tell me if I'm in the wrong here?
(its long im sorry)
TLDR: My friend is an international student, we got in a joking argument about soccer vs football that ended in accusations of racism and McCarthyism. Did I take it too far?
.........
I go to a private college in America (in the south) that I have worked hard to get a full tuition scholarship so I can afford to attend. I have a friend who also goes here that is an international student from New Delhi. I'll call her N.
N is very sweet, but she has the tendency to get very peeved about the culture differences between India and America. I have met plenty of other international students who are also from India (there are a LOT of international students this year) and most of them are very chill and embrace the multicultural area that the school is located in.
I am also, as we may know, an avid arguer. I'm a philosopher at heart. I think disagreements let me get to know people better through how they argue (which helps me know if they'd be a good friend. idk its the tism ig).
So N and I were chilling and out of the blue they send me a reel about how non-americans get mad when americans say soccer and not football. I sent back "its true cuz we're fine with them calling it football but they pop off whenever we say soccer" and she responds with "Because you're saying it wrong."
We've had convos like this and I normally assume they're being light hearted and pretending like its a big thing, so I responded kinda sarcastically "damn learn how to accept peoples differences" and she said "not if theyre american"
Like ok shes being sarcastic back but it feels weird. I started bantering about how other countries also say soccer (australia, south africa, new guinea) and she says "yes but only in the US and canada you haveto clarify what you mean when you say football because yall stole the name."
This confused me cuz tf you mean "you stole the name." First off I didn't do shit, second off how the fuck do you steal a sport? I said exactly that and she replies with "Nothing in america is your own" and holy shit im actually defending america wtf. This is not like me. But im not defending its history or its government, im defending the culture of it cus thats honestly the only good part of it. So respond with a cheeky lil "and isnt that beautiful" and she says "its yall being stupid."
I say "its a melting pot" and she says "a melting pot takes inspiration." I got a lil pissed at this because ok so did immigrants and enslaved people just spawn here? Did they steal their own cultures from their home countries?
They went on for a bit about how america is built off of appropriation, which it is fair that cultures are constantly being appropriated, but there are also cultures constantly being celebrated and fused, and that fusion and appreciation is what has the lasting impact.
I say this and she says "whatever im not arguing with an American" which of course I have to shit headedly respond with "imagine being reductive sorry I'm different than you"
She then responds with "bitch ur white" which yes. But does that mean I dont come from a diverse background and dont have culture? I respond "Yes and I live in a wonderfully diverse city of people who come from different cultures that I learn about and respect and love" and girl goes "those places dont exist in america" THEN WHERE AM I??? SPAIN???
We are literally in one of the most diverse and culture-rich cities in the south (ill give you 3 guesses) and she is saying that there isnt diversity and respect anywhere in america.
Skip forward a bit, she says that america has no culture, then corrects that to say "white america has no culture." That fucked with me a bit because its sus as shit to use the idea of "white america" and "poc america" in an argument. I said that and said that you can't give a concrete definition to "white culture" or "black culture" or "latine culture" cuz thats literally stereotyping
She said that prayer is a big part of indian culture, but isnt necessarily an overall truth for every person, which is fair. So I said then wouldn't American culture be like the national anthem. She said no because every country had a national anthem. I said that prayers are part of other cultures too, but that doesnt take away from the fact that theyre parts of other cultures too.
She then said that the national anthem isnt culture because "thats only for white people" and "a lot of america is only for white people (meaning its been used to disenfranchise poc people but she worded it in a way that sounded a smidge racist but no shade) And I said yea it fucking sucks and its forced upon us but its still well known. Theres no way that prayer isn't used to disenfranchise religious minorities in India, but its still culture.
She then said that white culture and american culture isnt a thing but black and latine culture is, (which tbh neither of us can really speak on, I was mainly discussing the american and latine element cuz I can speak on those) and I said that denying that american culture is just a mix of cultures evolving parallel over time simply because a bunch of shitty white guys founded the country is ignoring the people who have worked hard to make america their home and to carve out a spot for their own culture in this country. Just because people fucking sucked (like they have in the history of every fucking country ever) doesn't mean that people arent working to make the world better in their wake.
She said that poc culture in america stems from years of oppression. I agreed, but I said that racism and oppression isnt an America-exclusive thing. She then said, pretty out of the blue, that " for you to deny that their culture stems from oppression is racist." I said "when did I deny that." She said "you said you dont deny that what youre denying is racist. So that means you're being racist."
This confused me, so I asked "where did I deny that something was racist." Also I'm pre law, so I started getting a lil pre-law-y here. Don't judge me its a survival instinct I got from my parents lmao. She said "I said if you refuse to accept that black and brown cultures are real youre being racist." I said "show me what message I said that."
She said "chill babe theres no need to get defensive" which is literally the worst thing to say to me because boom youve made me into a defense attorney. I hate being patronized. I said "I am not being defensive, you are making accusations with no regard for evidence." (my profs would like that line)
She goes "this isnt a court of law girl" ok girl you act like youre gonna say that america doesnt have culture and then call me racist? I really just wanted this to end so I pulled out the mccartheyism card and said "you cant red scare roundabout logic your way out of being reductive and oversimplifying an enormously widespread country." and we were done. I know I ended it on an accusatory note which I hate, but I feel like shes ignoring so much thats literally going on in front of her face. Did I go too far? I know that I did and I shouldn'tve started the "youre being reductive" circle, but genuinely, the cure to culture shock isnt to be indignant about every difference you see, its to accept it. Its the same in literally every country. You cant just say "no I dont want to."
#aita#kinda#like i love her to death but everyone has culture and no culture is the same and you cant just say that there isnt culture somewhere#just cuz you cant put it in words as easily#idk just help#did i get too defensive or is this justified#maybe im just angy cuz i sat in services for a lot of the day#like girl tell me i dont have culture on fuckin new year smh#sorry im done
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like. i dont mind outside talent in a show
but also if im going to see an aew show, i would prefer to at least mostly see aew talent, you know?
like what i mean is that i dont want them to treat all in as like just an exhibition show which it feels like it might become, instead of a real huge deal of a ppv like it SHOULD be all things considered (doent help that their "real" ppv is literally the week after like bro what kind of fucking planning is that)
#i mean i doubt its gonna be very outsider(/njpw) heavy but seeing ppl call in for zsj and ospreay among others im like#you had fordoor already come on#plus if you really wanna see them they are in the revpro show the previous day#idk it just. i want to see aew specifically. so im going to an aew show. so i would prefer aew talent#a few here or there? i dont mind it. but putting on more talent to multiple matches kinda overshadow the original intent#anyways if we get eddie/shingo im all for it. just please no more this isnt forbidden door 3#maybe im old angy and jaded but come on#im specifically going to see aew for aew. thats it#wrestling musing
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SHUT UPPPPPPPP
#jazzrejuv#idk wtf that means or what the eldest has been goofing with in her younger years#btu perhaps. could be interpreted as. maybe.#extending a hand to cera. idk#in another life cera could be perhaps far away from angie#but she's down bad and bad and is going to die for a woman who probably forgot her name#and im TUNED INNNN.whatever.
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HELLO??????? OK IM AS HAPPY AS ANYONE ELSE THAT PIXAL GOT A MENTION BUT??? ARE WE NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW ZANE IS BEING SIDELINED FOR THE 15 MILLIONTH TIME??????? ISTG WE'RE GONNA GET LIKE A SINGLE EP WITH HIM CONSISTANTLY IN IT OTL
#SCREAMING#also no dig at brent or anthing but zane is sounding weirdly monotone again?#idk maybe its intentional maybe thats what the writers want#but still#i just want my boy to be treated right :(#istg if zane doesnt get enough screentime im gonna fucking riot#ninjago#ninjago dr#mango speaks#angy fruit
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hmmm i think im with eve on this one. angie’s chapter 7 revamp is a little hmmmm.
#i like that its a more involved threat that everyone gets to participate in and i like the bestie beatdown#and i REALLY appreciate that shes easier this time around and the ending section in general was fun#and i also prefer the new bonus cutscene. anju running to nymiera only to fall and be dragged down by indriad. aughhh#but… idk the tone felt weird this time around. usually i think rejuvs humor is great and doesn’t undercut any serious stuff#but here it felt like they toned angie’s horror aspect wayyyy down in favor of making her and the maids more goofy and hammy#and like. idk we sorta already have karen and kinda geara for that sorta vibe#i know the maids are sillier in chapter 15 but i was fine with that because the stakes with angie were established in chapter 7#so seeing the maids be silly is just kind of an ‘’oh! ok thats unexpected. cool!’’ moment#and iirc angie herself wasnt hammy or anything she was just detached and murderous#they even removed the glitch scene which was my favorite part of the original sequence :(#idk angie left an impression because she was so terrifying in her debut. she put frozen rangers on display. she mentally destroys your frien#friends. she gets so angry at melia she breaks her entire world#and now like. venam putting on a concert where shes forced to berate herself to a crowd is replaced with a funny game show scene#and like… yeah it is funny but what does this say about venam?#idk it feels like a fix that didnt need fixing. no shade to the team tho im just one guy. maybe its a welcome chsnge#echoed voice#rejuv lb
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crying about these sketches rn. they need bit more refining but ahhhhhh i hope they will look just as cute when i finish them
#im happy with how i posed them#and like how i showed their characteristics i hope its like. visible a bit#all same character but theres always some slight changes to the personality#not too big but ive been studying him under the microscope for the past 8-9 years so#angy tsundere cocky cynical and depressed crybaby. thats the stats they all have those but each has a different one maxxed out#idk if i should also add the 4th one....... i guess i will keep it as is and maybe. maybe if i have the power i will do dlcs and 4th
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ive reached the poijt in the night where i am desperately craving Content
#aauyugughg and ive alreayd burnt out my art enrrgy for the day SMHHHHH#i might. go back and read some old fics maybe. idk. oough buddy#i fucking hate the whole. gets dark at 4pm thing. living on the time zone cusp has made it worse bc. like#the time is still the same is as im used to but the sun sets like .8 of an hour earlier#i hate it SO much#i need a HUG#i need 2 try to draw sun again i think. i drew him one (1) time when i was like half asleep post-panic attack and#he looked so cute. need 2 see if i can capture that again#i also havent eaten dinner yet AND i remembered i have work in the mornjng so. grrrghgnb . angy . want attention. etc etc etc#my brain is going like a bazillion miles a minute tho so i cant like. sit down and daydream or whatever like i usually do#everythjngs alllll buzzy. its gross#watchin some videos 2 try to calm down so like. its fineeeeeee
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Pissy cuz I got re2 on my switch like a damn moron without really properly reading the description and it’s a version that requires internet connection to run and so I couldn’t even fight the first zombie cuz of how awful the game was cutting out 😭
#the klock keeps ticking#the good news is the game was on sale and i didnt spend actual money cuz i had funds from a gift card#but like. i still wasted 15 gift card dollars that i couldve used for a game that didnt need internet to work#i am such a fooool why didnt i read the description it like said it in big letters REQUIRES INTERNET TO WORK#i was just so excited to see the pretty leon and the pretty claire 🥺#maybe if i go somewhere with good internet i can try again aksjka but yeah lol trying it here is hopeless#our internet is sooo bad i was playing as leon and it starts with the gas station convenience store#couldnt walk and move the camera it was very laggy and the game kept flashing at me like BAD CONNECTION GRRRRRR#then when i went to shoot the funny zombie like damn i must hold the world record for worst attempt at a tutorial enemy ever#i obviously couldnt aim cuz the zombie was moving and everything i did was lagging behind and also when i went to shoot#i literally get possessed and just shot all my bullets at the wall like what the hell whyd i do that 😭#so yeah my fear of playing these games cuz i dont think id be very good at them is more than justified aljdks#im still upset though like i wanted to play this game dammit this sucks#idk why the switch version is like that it sucks and i am mad and angy 👺
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ich kann nicht einschlafen
#oh mein gott zis brain is full of overthinken#im worried about something bad happening that prevents me from going to qc#like. my mom asked me this evening where my passport was#and i was like girl idk don’t you keep the passports#which she has. for my entire life. sorry for not getting the memo that you randomly decided one day that i was in charge of it#anyway so if neither of us can find it im going to start ripping the insulation from the walls and eating it#ive been sitting in bed with my brain going on loop about college and finishing high school and just. everything#it’s snowing out so that’s nice#im tired and i wish that i could either fall asleep or Not be tired and go for a walk#and get some snacks. mmmm a girl needs a 3am piece of toast every so often#though if i got up and started doing stuff around the house i would probably wake the puppy up#he gets angy when he hears other people walking around and he’s in his crate#like sorry bestie maybe you should stop ripping our shoes apart every time we leave you unmonitored for five seconds#he’s a sweet boy though and i love him dearly. even if he climbs on furniture like a cat#i have so many cross stitch projects to do and i keep thinking of more people i wanna make stuff for#i have thirteen projects to finish by may :)#two of which ive started and several of which i haven’t even made or purchased patterns for yet#its fine its fine its so fine and normal#god i am so exhausted but my brain will not shut up#i should stop babbling in the tags of a tumblr post#maybe i could put on a nice relaxing video essay about art#instead of one about corrupt politicians or Economy Bac or any of the other many things that are wrong and terrible#ough#k that’s enough
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Nvm my disk drive just shit the bed
I did maintenance on my PC for the first time. Was scary to open it up and be unsure if I would brick it completely without even noticing. Changed the coolant, replaced the thermal paste, brushed off the fan blades, and blew out the dust.
It’s been working better since I did it, so I must’ve not done anything horribly wrong at least. It’s a customized build at least 6 years old that I bought from some dude who wanted to start a new build, so it was a little over due.
I think I’m gonna try to have a little more confidence in myself. And change the fluid more regularly cause that stuff looked HORRIBLE.
#perfect timing#a tragedy#in two parts#no talk me im angy#idk yet if was even because of the maintenance or because I had put off doing maintenance for so long#i hate technology#hardware gore#nobody talk to me#going thru the 5 stage of grief in the tags#maybe it’s ok#it can’t be broken#fucking fuck#maybe I can fix it#I’m stupid#nobody should trust me with anything ever#I have two hard drives installed but this still sucks ass
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I have decided to continue the trend!~ but cats instead! I personally think the cats came out better but that's only because I have drawn cats my entire life and I never drew lambs before joining the cult of the lamb fandom. Also I wanna say a few things. I'm sorry for anyone's lambs I misgendered in the last post, also for aveloka this took me about 2 hours, one hour rough draft sketch another hour for full sketch/outline. And I think that's it for now... anyways, cats!
@oneofthosenightbees I love Narinder's cloak so much! very creative! and also thank you for the picture of my lamb! I squealed so loud i thought I woke my family @bamsara the face was hard but I loved drawing them so much, again cloak was really fun, the cloak on like all of these Nari's were really fun to draw tbh @cotl-flower-crown I love the fluffy cloak thing, and just how angry they look! @melled42 your lamb sadly didn't get into my last post since I started following you after I made that, but I drew your Nari! I love them very much and having them as a hairless cat is very creative! I love the idea!
@ballad-of-the-lamb I love how annoyed your Nari looks! and also their outfit was really fun! Also sorry about the lamb thing, idk which lamb to chose so i choose the first one i saw! but still, I love your Nari very much! @xmajordumps I drew them from when shamura was threatening them, I hope I did it well since you know, they were kinda covered in blood and all! but really fun shaped and all! they look so angry! (why are all the narinders so angy?) @slate021 I love drawing fluffy cats so much! I love drawing fluff in general and your Nari satisfied the fluff meter. @faery-the-diamond Yours is so simple and yet somehow so complicated, I love your AU and how the lamb is a crown and Nari pretty much needs to tend to everything in the cult, its kinda funny tbh, I love your Nari!
@acis-arts so adorable! They look like a child, I just wanna pick them up and kidnap them! (im gonna kidnap them) @neon-virus yours looks so nice, and such like a gentleman, so handsome! Can I adopt them? And if not can I kidnap them? And if not well too bad, their mine now @seffen yours looks like it's gonna take your eyes out and then watch you slowly die of blood loss... so in other words adorable demon that I wanna hold even if it hates me! @voidheartkisses Adorable! so innocent looking! I loved drawing them, their fluff, the ears also, I've never drawn ears like that before! @alllgator-blood Just like the lamb I love the shapes and I love how your Narinder's personality is like! It's so funny! @foxritz Yours looks grumpy, maybe it's just how I drew them? but the fluff was fun and also the ears were also quite different from what I'm used to so It was also fun to draw those!
@plenty-sheep-in-the-sea from what I know you don't have a lamb that is posted yet so sadly I couldn't draw a lamb for you in my last post! But your traumatized young Narinder is adorable! @unwri-ten I loved drawing them, they give such a sassy drag queen kinda vibe, if that make sense (?) @aubeezz Yours is adorable and fits with how I drew your lamb very well! I love the cheek fluffs! Adorable! @skyartworkzzz thank you for pointing out the gender thing, again I'm sorry about that! but moving on! Your Narinder was really fun to draw, the little cheek fluffs on the side remind me of my own narinders cheek fluffs! I also love the cloak! @rampantram Yours is absolutely lovely, I love your art style a lot! Just as fun as drawing your lamb! I look up to you a lot!
@ghosts-and-glory can yours age or does their fur just fall out? anyways! I love your AU, the storyline is amazing and when I first found you I sat there rereading like every comic kinda thing I could find on your account like 50 different times! @aveloka-draws Yes I'm ok. No it does not take long. I loved drawing your Nari, they look confused but pissed, and yet again all Nari's look pissed no matter what, the outfit is also really fun! I love drawing your style of characters, their so pointy and fun... if that also makes sense in anyway...?
Here is my Narinder! He's based off of a mink color point cat! So instead of being black, he's a brown cat with black smoked patterns, or known as the Siamese markings! He lost all memory of the bishops being killed and himself defeated, so Lamb helped him through it until he gained his memory back, and when he did he became a lot like Shimura. He was pretty much mindless in a way... I just wondered around aimlessly and wouldn't respond, sometimes he comes back but very rarely, Lamb worries about him a lot. the cloak was made by lamb as a welcome gift to make Nari feel for comfortable in the cult! Also the thing on Nari's finger is a butterfly! It's his butterfly friend! No name yet but if you have ideas but tell me, I'm terrible with names! Sometimes he has panic attacks which make his eyes cry blood, plus whenever he opens his third eye it instantly starts bleeding. He also has eyes on the palms of his hands but you can't see them at the moment, he can see how people die with them!
#mistaken#au#my au#other au#cotl narinder#cult of the lamb narinder#narinder#cotl art#cotl fanart#cult of the lamb art#cult of the lamb fanart
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