#maybe i'll do some writing tonight lowkey feeling it

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

dear comrades is there a way to get rid of this notification and if there is PLEASE tell me i’m in tears /lh

[byanyan]

spent most of my day just completely zoned out negl

[hminnj]

Maybe In A Different Age

Senku/fem reader

cw: angst no comfort (i tried) ik this fandom kinda dead lowkey but I wanted to write this cause its so senku coded. Senku's an idiot (unsuprisingly). Not very good writing.

wc: uhh i wrote this in my notes, around 1k probably

-

Byakuya brings two strangers into their house on a random thursday.

"Senku, this is a close friend and her daughter, I'm sure you guys will get along splendidly."

"Ok."

Five year old Senku is harshly blunt when he meets you for the first time, staring at him silently as if you've never seen a human before. He doesn't have anything to say and it seems neither do you, so he walks off, deciding he has better things to do. Promptly ignoring the sigh and apology the older man lets out.

.

"So I got this new idea and I'm going through the basic logistics and research right now, might need your help later."

"I'll go get us some snacks and something to do while you work on it then."

Six year old Senku watches you dissappear from his doorway, absentmindedly humming while you head to the very familiar kitchen. Your family has been apparently busy as of late so he forcibly sees your face more often. You usually just eat his food, do your work, and ask him (dumb) questions. You're a friend now, he supposes.

.

"Hey dum dum, Byakuya got me new equipment, so I have some new ideas. So listen up."

"Course Senku!"

Seven year old Senku grins, you're always willing to help him out for whatever reason you have (something weird probably, in his opinion). In return, he always tells you what he's working on and his labor demands. So per usual, he excitedly gets into the details of the next project that he plans on working you and Taiju to the bone for.

.

"Hey Senku?"

"What?"

"I think I love you."

"Huh? You better not be catching feelings dum dum." He gives you a confused squint after hearing your words.

"Whatever you say." You hum

Eight year old Senku hears you say those three words for the first time, you don't say why and he doesn't know either. He thinks its rather idiotic, but he shrugs it off after you silently go back to reading. You've been picking up books more often as of late, not that he cares much.

.

"You're late for the test runs, Taiju and Yuzuriha already left."

"Sorry sorry! My teacher held me up a little later at practice today."

"Hm." His disappointed stare returns.

"Im sorry..? Love you?" You're sheepish with your response.

"How is that supposed to make up for anything? Now come help me carry this stuff"

"As you wish, princess Senku."

Nine year old Senku doesn't understand why you and Byakuya tell him that so often (or that stupid nickname sourced from his "feebleness"), but he moves on quickly to detail the results of the test and the numerous next steps. Much to his pleasure.

.

"Wake up stupid. You fell asleep." Senku (roughly) shakes you awake from your shoulders, poking at your face a few times.

"Huh? Oh sorry Senku, I guess I'm just tired."

"Well you're not gonna wanna miss this." He grins while looking up, expectant.

"Hm. Hey the moons pretty tonight yeah?"

"It looks the same as it always does. Is that poetry getting to you and making you sappy?"

You wait before responding, "Maybe."

Eleven year old Senku keeps you up on certain nights for his projects or for nights like these where there's a meteor shower. He thinks you should stop reading so much of those books that make you sound like Byakuya. You should also get more rest, he adds.

.

"Happy Valentines Day Senku!! Got you a gift, heh."

"Must I tell you again?" Senku turns to a usual sight, you waving a gift in front of his face as if he were a dog.

"I'm good I just wanted to remind you."

"Right."

Twelve year old Senku doesn't see the point in meaningless feelings or holidays for said feelings. Nevertheless, he takes the homemade chocolate from you, skimming through the card which contents include exactly what he expected (a confession of sorts, again), and placing it to the side. Ignoring it in favor of the much more sensible chemicals in front of him. Like every year though, Senku keeps it. He doesn't know why.

.

"Taiju and Yuzuriha definitely have something going on don't you think?"

"And you're bringing this up why?"

You pause, you know why, but you know he wouldn't understand. "It's cute... wish I could have something like that you know?"

"...For the last time-"

"I know I know Senku, don't worry I'll try to bother you less."

Thirteen year old Senku doesn't see you as much anymore, mostly because of your practice that your mom wants you to perfect. You come over less nowadays, a shame (for his projects obviously), but your presence isn't any smaller of an intrusion at school. So much for bothering him less.

.

Around 21:00 is when he hears the familiar ringing of his doorbell. "It's late, why are you here?"

"Got out of training not too long ago and wanted to see you before I headed in."

"Your house isn't even remotely close to mine" A raised eyebrow is all you get in response to your grin.

"What does it matter when I'm already here, but gotta go before I get scolded. Goodnight Senku, Love you!"

"You know it's never gonna happen, as you know-"

"Yeah yeah, 10 billion percent illogical, I know, but I can't let my favorite person forget can I?" You flash another smile.

"As if I'd ever with how often you say it, now goodnight."

Fourteen year old Senku closes the door after you've cheerfully said your bye and faded from his sight enough. The lack of noise is strange, now that Byakuya has "ascended like an angel" (his words not Senkus) it's much quieter. The usual noise of a certain two people is absent more often than not. He let's the silence of the house sit in.

.

"Hey, can you get me something from the storage real quick? Need it soon but that bonehead forgot when he came up here babbling about confessing to Yuzuriha"

"Of course. I'd do anything for you. Always here. You know that Sen."

Fifteen year old Senku glances at your fleeting figure. The nickname is new, for sure. And he can't say he dislikes it, but the lack of a certain three words with your departure is strange. He brushes it off to your usual forgetfulness and peers out the window at Taiju and Yuzuriha. Thoughts preoccupied until a bright green light overtakes his vision and he can't do anything but think into the void.

So he counts.

And maybe every once in a while you pop into his head like you always do.

.

Three-thousand and something year old Senku wakes up to a world where theres a lack of civilization, a lack of his decency, and most importantly, a lack of you.

You would be useful right now, he supposes.

.

Three-thousand and something year old Senku spends his free time trying to find you and the rest of the "gang" (as you would say).

He finds Taiju, he finds Yuzuriha, he also finds a lion-punching maniac, but there's no sign of you.

He's ten billion percent sure you survived.

Right?

The concerned stare Yuzuriha gives him as they part is ignored.

.

(Physically) Sixteen year old Senku celebrates this birthday gazing into the sky from his new observatory. It reminds him of a lot of things, but he can't help but notice how empty it is, it's eerily quiet.

He doesn't like it.

Senku wishes you were here.

His first real birthday wish.

.

(Still) Sixteen year old Senku breaks when he hears his father's voice again for the first time in ages. It's not his voice that gets to Senku. He's heard it plenty enough in his lifetime. It's the mention of you.

"Just kidding! I know it's you on the other side of this Senku! And ____'s there with you right? Please tell me you're dating already or even better married so I can have grandchildren. Please please please Senku! Although you can't really tell me that but-"

Senku stops himself from showing vulnerability in front of the village, and he also stops himself from pausing the record right there and then. Opting to sigh and curse his dad out as a cover up, his fist lightly punching the table.

"Damn you old man."

The questions from the villagers about who you could be are forgotten in favor of an angelic voice. Senku's quick to tune it out. It reminds him of you.

.

(Mentally) Sixteen year old Senku sits by himself that night. It's been a long day. The constant repeat of a certain melody in the background, more work for the science kingdom, and a few questions about who you were. They stopped after a few radio silences from him, feelings are hard for the scientist after all.

It's cold.

He wishes you were here.

It's dark.

He wishes you were here.

It's lonely.

He wishes you were here.

The day he can always guarantee you're there has long passed. You should be here, is what his mind tells him. You owe him for the past 3000 years of missed birthdays after all.

It's funny, in his opinion. That you were probably most-definitely always there. And the one (multiple actually, 10 billion in his mind) time he looks for you, you're not there.

He doesn't think its funny.

"I'd do anything for you huh..."

Anything but keep your word.

He scoffs, but it's directed at himself. He would never blame you for this, or anything for that matter, he can't.

So he sits. And he stays. Like you would've wanted him too. He looks at the clear sky like you usually do. And he notes how the moon is pretty tonight. Just like you.

"I love you too."

He's 10 billion percent sure he does.

-

Thanks for reading, if you did :). Sorry for any errors not fully proofread. Senku is so right person wrong time coded when it comes to romance that i had to write this even if its lowkey bad

[kurosstuff]

Here I am back with another request, anyway : "Headcanon"

Hazbin gals(all of them if you could, emily included) react to R that likes to follow then around. Reader was just on the couch and maybe Charlie or Lute or anyone had to go elsewhere and R just follows them, no particular reason just that R wants to be near them but not to the point of irritation.

I'm gonna make it for 5 of the ladies so it's not so insanely long BUT if you have any specific ladies you wish to see? You can request again! Hopefully these are good! Half of them I'm still learning to write for still-

Also! Sorry for not writing- it's summer and I've just been incredibly burnt out so been writing once in a while. Also. I didn't see the Emily part until after I wrote this- I'm sorry

Warning(s): slight angst in some parts but mostly fluff, all bur sera has drabbles

Hazbin ladies(charlie,vaggie,Lute, rosie and Sera) x reader: headcanons!

Charlie

By far the most excited about it- her lover(or friend) following her around? She 100% does it back! Like a lost little puppy she adores you by her side no matter what it is she's doing.

Just talking your ear off from the plans she has for the hotel. Future dates. Whatever comes to mind? She tells you excitedly just wanting to see your reaction. Her number one supporters option matters the most to her.

But because of that she gives surprises away.. to often.

"-then! After~ I'm taking you to that lovely bakery-" she went kn and on- walking as you trailed after her like usual. Smiling heartfully. She was doing it again- talking about the plans she had for your date tonight. From the beginjng of the day to now she was a bundle of joy- babbling about things you were sure your not supposed to know.

"-then I'll get on my knee and pull the box out-"

Your grin widen at that comment you heard. Humming you kept quiet no longer listening to safe the surpise. A proposal? Now that's something your more then happy to keep a secret from knowing

When she would babble you kept quiet. Not telling her the stuff you knew. No matter what it was. You knew how she was. How excitable shed get.

She did never find out she gave the proposal away

Vaggie

She's suspicious, as hell over, literally everyone. Outside and INSIDE the hotel. Understandably, so - given you both in hell. Doesn't matter if you're stronger than her. Or what you are

She will NOT. Allow you to wander off without you in her sight. No matter what. Especially since the hotel is a clear hot spot for danger. She'd actually lowkey ENCOURAGE you following her about. Inviting you places or if comes down to it? Following you.

Standing up Vaggie sighed cursing under her breath at yet another sexual comment Angel made. Scowling lowly turning glancing over at you- smiling in approval once you trailed behind her on instinct- which let to her ranting to you on what she encountered

"Do you wanna cuddle?" You spoke up leading her to your shared room watching her slowly relaxing.

Vaggie is a worrier. Even in her sights, she just looks around cautious everyone

To be honest- I think she'd prefer you following her around. Makes her "job" at being your protector so much more easier.

Worried about the what ifs. The when's. But she knows your strong- she's seen it. She just can't help but worry- after all. Your her lover. She can't help herself but worry.

Lute

We see her with Adam(assuming she's around him ALOT) she truly wouldn't be to bothered hanging out with ypu 24/7 cause she does love you and for her? Having you in her sights is better then assuming your fine and healthy

Of course it's not unhealthy - she trusts you'd take care of yourself. Trust that you're capable of saving yourself if it comes down to it. But it means a lot to see you wanting to be with her-

Lute adores it- she won't SAY it but she feels prideful when you wander beside her. Following her everywhere

"So.. where are we going~?" You hummed, snickering at her jolt, ignoring the glare she sent your way, grumbling loudly at you. You were just asleep an hour ago. Now here you are trailing after her as if you didn't just see her a while ago

"..training. come on if your up you can work out."

It's also not like she does the same thing either. Just instinctively trailing you- just anywhere either of you are? The other is certainly close by

Rosie

Honestly like most ladies in the list she may actually prefer it- after all her town is full of cannibals itching to dig into you. Literally-

Doesn't matter if your a lover or not. They'll be tempted or swayed in a way to try and take a bite. But if Rosie is around? They'd never attempt it. Never dare upset her.

Rosie also takes this chance to use this as a tea spilling time. Talk about the latest drama. The rumors- anything and everything the two of you share together no matter what it is.

A laugh escaped you both as you ate your share of the snacks she brought with "-oh darling I wish you saw it! Poor Alastor was covered in the flour~ he was so mad" Rosie laughed covering her mouth with her hand like usual grinning at you before smirking

"Oh~? Now I know that look~ the look of more tea~?"

Nodding, she hummed, sipping her tea before putting it down, "I heard.. from a certain soemone.. the king himself? Lucifer? Did it~ to win the..bet they had"

Sera

Now she's the only one so far on this list that will not let you follow her EVERYWHERE. she is a Seraphim. The highest level itself. The lord himself daughter(I think? May be wrong) so there's places she'd wish you could come but you just can't.

For yours and her safety.

She does not wanna be the next fallen. No matter how she adores you- she loves heaven- she can not commit a crime. Allow you in certain meetings witness things..

But she will allow it sometimes. Especially given her status it may be hard- to hang out with one another.

Sera never worries about your safety. Your in Heaven! The safest place(she has guards tailing you secretly worried about the impure influences that dome angels can have- adam)

Once in your shared home? Your free to follow hwr everywhere she is. It makes her happy seeing you constantly- makes what she's doing to ensure heavens saftey(dispite being not the purest option) so much more worth it.

[aliceyed]

when txt is jealous 😮

pairing: bf!txt x fem!reader

genre: fluff??, angst??

warnings: jealousy, cursing depending on what you count as a curse word

main masterlist

yeonjun

you guys go out for a nice restaurant date and for some reason the waiter is being a little too friendly to you. when he comes to take your order he turns to you with a smile and says "what can I get this pretty lady tonight?" and you think he's just being nice so you say, "I'll have a-"

yeonjun clears his throat really loudly to make sure he is noticed!!! then the waiter turns to him, yeonjun giving him a dirty look and orders for the both of you. after the waiter leaves yeonjun turns to you and says "we are never coming here again."

you just laugh at him and he rolls his eyes but you reassure him and he gets cocky like, "I know I'm so much cuter than him". he's not wrong though.

soobin

you guys go grocery shopping and you enter first while he's looking for parking.

when your looking for your bf's favorite food, bread, the kdrama moment happens when you and some random guy reaches out for the same loaf. y'all turn to each other and laugh awkwardly.

"you can have it, " he gives you the bread and smiles, then is like "I'm new here, by any chance could I get your number, maybe we could be friends!"

suddenly, you felt arms snake around your waist and you look up to see soobin's face. when he tried to look angry it was so cute😭😭.

"sorry but my girlfriend and I have to go." you tried to hold in your laughter, he was sooo cute.

when y'all go to the next aisle, you turn to him and pinch his cheeks, "you're so cute when you're jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" (he's lying)

beomgyu

(yes I'm doing a school scene ok)

one day at school, you got a letter from someone in your locker to meet at the school garden after school so you follow and go.

when you get there there's a guy holding a bouquet of flowers and you definitely know where this is going. you thought it was a known fact that beomgyu was your boyfriend but I guess not. he confesses to you and your thinking of how to tell him you have a boyfriend politely so he's not heartbroken😭.

BUT lucky for you u don't have to, your amazing boyfriend will do it for you.

"sorry she's taken!" and will say it with a BIG smile btw and drag you away.

"how does he not know I'm your perfect, amazing boyfriend."

taehyun

y'all go on a cute walk in the park date 🥰. then taehyun goes to buy ice cream while you walk to a bench to sit down. while walking your clumsy ass tripped on literally nothing and almost fell on your face but before you did you felt someone catch you and pull you up.

you look up to your saviour and see some guy smiling at you (this would be such a cute moment if you didn't have a boyfriend). anyways he asks, "are you ok, I should be the one falling for you." omg.

out of nowhere, taehyun appears with your ice creams giving the guy the DIRTIEST DIRTY LOOK YOU WILL EVER SEE. (I'm sure you know what face I'm talking about right.) ok then he pulls you to him with his strong arm and looks him up and down and says, "my girlfriend is fine thank you."

when your far enough he'll say, "you're too pretty, so many guys look at you when we go out." and you blush really hard oml bro knows how to make you swoon. he's lowkey hot when jealous.

huening kai

when y'all go to a cafe for a date, the cashier is trying a little too hard to use his pick up lines💀.

"do you believe in love at first sight, if not you should try walking by again."

I feel like kai wouldn't confront but make it obvious that he's your boyfriend so he will put and arm around your waist and will give him a side eye. after you guys order then sit down the same guy comes to give you guys your drinks and huening notices and quickly gives you a small kiss on your cheek.

you can't help but laugh as the guy awkwardly puts your drinks down and look at kai's cute satisfies smile.

a/n: can you tell my writing is deteriorating.

[honeyhotteok]

Hi hi hi!! How are you?!?!?

Hope you're all well

Sorry even I was busy with high school😔

Just a Lil suggestion thingy for your writing ~

I was wondering how 'bout~

Reaction of Lookism & HTF characters to reader forgetting to kiss them in established relationship - like reader is an independent working person even before they met each other, and in all the hectic schedule of their work, they just forget?

It's alright if you don't want to, don't feel pressured❣️

It's just a random thought ⊂⁠(⁠(⁠・⁠▽⁠・⁠)⁠)⁠⊃

hi!! sorry this is soo late lol work beating my ass as usual🥹 i hope school's been more chill for you lately/that you get a break soon!! i included your fave then ended up picking some more non j high boys for this since my last hcs were for the j high boys😌 and i don't write for htf on here at the moment and wasn't planning to but..maybe i'll add a lil bonus at the end lol. ty for the suggestion!🫶

Lookism boys reacting to S/O forgetting their goodbye kiss before work

(Johan, Jake, Samuel)

Johan Seong

would lowkey SULK like there's no tomorrow. would not bring it up first though

but he tries to tough out it out, like the babygirl turned malewife-in-training he is

when you get home, tries to get a kiss by holding Miru up to you next to his face, pouting

but the both of them just get a head pat from you

ends up grumbling about how that's not what he wanted but whatever

leaving you confused but you quickly pick up on what he wants, having become perceptive after all these years of being with him that your boyfriend is not forthcoming with wanting affection

a blushing mess and pretends to hate it when you finally shower him with kisses

Jake Kim

notices pretty soon after you leave the house that you hadn't kissed him this morning, or yesterday either now that he thinks about it

barely pays attention during his Big Deal meetings, just sitting there furrowing his brow, trying to figure out whether he’s done something to make you mad at him

was the omelette he cooked for breakfast that bad?? he was just trying to expand his cooking repertoire beyond just instant ramen...

texts you that he'll get dinner for the both of you tonight, then buys takeaway from your favorite restaurant and also stops to get your favorite snacks before coming home

it's when you get home and trudge your tired body to him to give him a hug that he realizes it wasn't because you were mad at him after all

grins when you finally plant a big kiss on him while enjoying your fave meal after a long day of work

Samuel Seo

is unbothered, mostly. He has his own work to attend to anyway.

but as his day goes on, starts to feel unsettled but has no idea why??

this mf ends up being even more prickly than usual at work

gets home even later than you do tonight, and you nonchalantly give him a kiss before getting ready for bed

feels his ears turning red as his mood immediately improves and he finally realizes why he's felt off all day

well since you're here anyway, he'll steal another kiss from you now for tomorrow. or five

+ bonus: HTF - Taehoon Seong

this little shit would nip it in the bud real quick

catches up to you fast with his long ass legs after you rush out the door without kissing him goodbye, yelling "HEY!"

"you forgot something, dumbass" "???"

after planting a kiss on you, smirks and shoves you "hurry up now, you're gonna be late"

and you of course smack him with your bag as revenge for shoving you and smile at your boyfriend while running off as he curses at you

[sameschmidtdiffname]

feeling a bit weird asking this request since i haven't actually seen anyone write such a thing, but i'd like to ask for something about the parent figure!mike (NOT SMUT OFC), maybe something he's the reader's father or brother or something, if it's not something you could write just ignore !!! (i'm also not a native speaker so i apologize if it sounds impolite i always have this problem :/)

Girl have you read my fics?? Do NAWT come on here talking about feeling weird for a request when I have written shit that's sending me to super hell with Jensen Ackles or whoever played the angel guy from Supernatural. (I hope that joke made sense, I'm not in that fandom </3)

Anyways, I hope you enjoy this!! Fresh off the press for you pookie <3 (BTW, your English js great and you weren't demanding at all!! Seriously, don't feel bad 😊)

Same Shit, Different Schmidt

Dad! Mike & Gender Neutral! Reader

(This gif always sends me, I'm sorry)

Summery: You are a stubborn ass and Mike is not here to put up with that shit. Where'd you get this attitude, anyways? Is it so hard to just listen?

Tags: No use of Y/N, Reader is Mike's child, this is lowkey a sequel to 'What's One More?' but that is absolutely not required to read this, sickness, reader almost passes out, slight angst, Mike takes care of reader, Mike has a come to Jesus moment, mentions of arguing, injury, underage drinking, Abby and Mike go at it at one point, just a cute lil drabble :)

Notes: it feels illegal to post something so short. Is this allowed?? Anyways, this was so cute to write! Definitely a new approach. I hope you guys like this! Thanks for the request anon, I always love getting them 💗

▪︎◇{¤♧■♧¤}◇▪︎

"I'm fine," you groaned emphatically, trying to to rise from the bed, musty from your body's sweat during the night.

"You are not fine, do not bullshit me," Mike scolded. His hands pressed you back onto the bed, his scowl growing as he feels your temperature through your moist shirt. "When did this start?"

"I told mom my throat hurt last night and she gave me some ibuprofen. It's seriously just a cold," you said, trying one more time to rise from the bed.

"You always get a sore throat before you get sick, have since you were a kid. When did the fever start?" His hand feels freezing against your clammy forehead, making you shy away to avoid the chills that threaten you.

"Not hot."

"You want me to call your mom so you can gaslight her, too?" His tone is firm and threatening. "Is there something you're trying to get away with here or...?"

"I have tech tonight for my show, I can't miss," you finally admit. You open your mouth to continue, but Mike quickly cuts you off.

"No. Out of the question," he said.

"Dad, I'll get in trouble-"

"You will get everyone else sick and then what? I said no," he said firmly. But when he sees the way you sink into the bed, eyes sad and finally accepting the situation, he thinks of your mother acting in a similar manner or Abby when she was your age with the same attitude. It makes him relent, pressing his lips tight together. "What do you need me to do?" He asked, voice softer as he strokes your cheek. Your eyes brighten for a moment, a smile breaking out. "You're not going, I'm just asking what I could do to help."

You sink into the bed once more, crossing your arms.

"My director is gonna hate me," you mumble.

"I will deal with her, or she will deal with me. I promise you one's better than the other," he said. At that you crack a smile, finally looking at him.

"Mom's not gonna be pleased either," you said.

"Mom's not gonna let you go either," he said. "I'm getting the thermometer and then I'm moving you to the living room so I can watch you better. You get control of the TV as your consolation prize."

You twirl your finger in the air, rolling your eyes as emit a mocking 'yay,' glaring at him as he shoots the same glare down at you, walking out of the room and slipping his phone out of his pocket to call your mother.

"How upset are they?" She asked on the other side of the phone. He could hear the office chatter going on around her as he searched through the cabinets for the supplements they kept in stock.

"They're not thrilled. Not planning my death yet, but it's coming," Mike huffed. "Is it elderberry that helps with sore throats?"

"Elderberry makes it worse after you get sick, helps before. Don't give them that," she said. There's a slight pause before she adds "You realize this attitude is inherited?"

"Oh," he groaned, sucking on his teeth. "I wasn't gonna throw you under the bus like that."

"I helped raise Abby, do not pin this on me," she laughed.

"I don't deny sickness," Mike said.

"I can name five seperate instances where you did," she countered. Mike froze for a moment, trying to remember. "Just go easy on them. Remember you're dealing with your kid."

"And yours," he countered.

"Supposedly," she teased.

"I'm pretty sure that was you I knocked up."

"But are you sure?"

"Well, there was that one time with your mom."

She laughed. "Have them text me when they can. I'll deal with director, she knows me better."

"Thanks. She terrifies me. Kinda get why they don't wanna miss," Mike admitted. With a quick laugh and a quicker goodbye, Mike clicks off the call, slipping the phone back into his pocket. He gathered the vitamins in a small cup, grabbed the other needed items and made his way back to the room that used to house his little sister.

"Okay, Mom's dealing with director and is willing to grab dinner of your choice if you'll-" Mike trails off at the sight of your empty bed, worry prickling through and tainting the annoyance rising in his chest. He calls your name, turning to look for you before his ears tune in on the shower running in the bathroom. He sighs, placing the items on your bedside table and making his way to the living room. All is well until about ten minutes after the water shuts off, when he heard a small but sure 'thud' ring from the room.

"Honey?" He called. Nothing.

He rises from his chair, his mind trying to remind himself to stay calm and not jump to its automatic thoughts of harm and anxiety as he walked quickly to the door.

"If you don't answer I'm coming in," he warned. The quiet groan on the otherside is all he needed to quickly open the unlocked door, trying not to panic as he catches sight of you curled up on the floor with your head between your knees.

"I'm fine," you said quietly. "Got dizzy." Your clothes are thrown on haphazardly and it's clear how disoriented you are. Your hair doesn't even look properly washed.

Mike's arms are comforting, familiar and protective as he carefully lifts you up, taking you to the couch as though you weigh nothing to him. When his mind is racing like this, you may as well not.

"What were you thinking?" He asked in a panicked voice. "I told you you weren't going."

"My director hates me and tech is like, our biggest practice. I can't miss," you insisted, barely able to stand the light shining through the open windows. The couch is cool against your skin, the old leather offering relief. Mike had brought it home a few years back, a surprise he'd found at a thrift store with your help. Still pricey but a Christmas gift for everyone in the house. Your mother shook her head as she finally agreed maybe the couch that was as old as her needed to be replaced.

"Your mom is dealing with her and she's gonna deal with you next if you don't listen to either of us," Mike said. He ran back to your room, collecting the items and returning to your side before you could even respond. "Can you just let us take care of you?"

Oh. Oh. Fine, okay. There it is. He hears it now, that point your mother had just been making.

As the thermometer takes longer than he'd like to beep, he sighs at the sight of you looking like death on the couch. "You get this attitude from me," he finally sighed. You raise your brow quizzically, waiting for him to continue. A soft noise emits from the device. Mike takes it from your mouth and scowls at the number that flashes back at him. He hands you a now room temperature cup of throat coat tea with three ibuprofen to help with the fever before he takes your hand.

"Did I tell you about the time your mother had to drag me to the emergency room for stitches on my forehead?" He asked, smiling. You snort, taking another sip of your drink. "It happened when you were little. I don't even think you were two. Abby was going out with this idiot and figured out how to take out the screen in her window so she could sneak out without any of us knowing. This girl was bad news, I mean-"

"Aunt Abby?" You asked.

"What? No. No, the girl she was going out with, Lisa Browning. Had her come home with a belly button piercing once, I wasn't happy about that. Anyways, Abby decided that she was going to this party one night and I'd found her bed empty halfway through the night while I was going to check on you. Well, I decided I was gonna wait for her in her room with the lights off until she got home. So I sat in front of her window and eventually got tired, so I shut my eyes. Figured it couldn't hurt. Took a couple hours, but eventually your mother woke up and my side of the bed was empty and she heard this loud as fuck noise from your aunts room. This is like four in the morning, mind you," he said. "So she jumped out of bed and heard your aunt yelling, saw some guy in dark clothes on the floor, open window and the lights are off, and she's still wiping sleep out of her eyes."

"Oh no," you groaned.

"Oh yes. Grabbed some metal Eiffel Tower thing on Abby's desk and just swung at my head. Hurt like a bitch," he laughed, you joining in as much as you could without hurting your throat. "It was a good hit. I think she realized it was me when I grabbed her ankle and hollered her name cause she stopped right after that. Wasn't too bad, but I wouldn't stop bleeding."

"So did Abby get in trouble?" You asked.

"Are you kidding? I was even more pissed, I chased her down the hallway after her girlfriend climbed in and fell on top of me. I was ready to kill her. Your mother had to drag me and her into the car, go back and grab you and deal with us screaming at each other all the way to the hospital. Not that I wanted to go, I was fine with just pressing a dishcloth to the thing and carrying on with my plan to rip my sister a new one. She had to threaten us both to actually get me inside, and I only conceded because I was too dizzy to object by that point. I think the nurses assumed she was insane. I mean, kid on her hip, dressed in pajamas with some drunk teenager bickering with a guy bleeding from his head at the crack of dawn. I'm surprised no one called the cops. They did have to almost seperate Abby and I, though. Which just upset me more."

"How did they get you to calm down?" You asked.

"Your mother handed you to me while she walked Abby to a bathroom so she could take a go at her. And you were all upset anyways because I wasn't paying attention to you and you didn't understand why the nurses were fuckin' with me or why I was upset. Once I had you in my arms I refocused, calmed down a good bit. Someone brought me a book to read you and we got to focus on that while they prepped me for stitches," he said the last part softly. "I was so glad when Abby got out of her teen rebellion phase."

"She ruined mine," you joked.

"Yeah. She used pretty much every trick in the book, so we were ready for you. Sorry," he said.

"It's fine, I don't like parties."

"I don't either."

Mike's phone buzzed in his pocket. He checked it, typing a quick response before refocusing on you. "Your mother wants to know what you're thinking for dinner," he said.

"Chinese?" You asked.

"That comes from your mom's side," he smiled. "She'll be pleased."

¤▪︎{♧}▪︎¤

Short but sweet. This was a fun one :)

Taglist:

@jhutchissupercool @gh0u1ishly @joshhutchersons-slut @schmidtsbimbo @sugarevans @wompwompwomp57 . Thank you for your support! <3

Masterlist

[corporatefrog]

╭₊˚ ๑︰REQUEST: Having a sleepover with Superhero!Stan, Kyle, and Kenny when Professor Chaos attacks South Park!

✧.* tags: college au, neighbors, superhero au

✧.* Characters: stan marsh, kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, butters scotch

a/n: i didn't know how to introduce or end this piece so i made it a mix of headcannons/oneshot! do you guys prefer reading one over the other? i lowkey think a miraculous au with the superheros would be SO COOL

masterlist

living in the same apartment building means it's super easy to have SLEEPOVERS!! 

Butters usually joins you, but he said he was feeling under the weather today :(

just dance is a MUST 

Kyle and Kenny get really into it 

Stan definitely is the type just to move his arm 

"why are you guys doing the legs too, it only tracks the remote"

"it tracks you SPIRIT too Stan that's why you're fucking losing"

"you're literally in last place Kenny"

the night always ends with a funny or scary movie 

but tonight when you're setting up, a notification interrupts you 

Four phone's simultaneously erupt in the iconic bird tweet, screens around the room lighting up with the same words: 

ALERT: Villain activity has been spotted in the park! Unknown plants with spiked teeth have sprouted from the ground and have begun eating local teens. 

I went to grab my phone, squinting to see the words from the bright screen in the dark room.

"Dude, what the fuck-"

"I HAVE TO GO WATER MY PLANTS!" Kenny suddenly shouted, running out the door before any of us had a chance to react. 

I turned to look at Kyle but he'd already gotten up from the couch and was lacing up his shoes. 

He looked up and met my gaze, giving an apologetic smile before standing, "Sorry, yn, I just remembered I've got a paper due tomorrow and I've got to finish a few paragraphs still." He explained, rushing out the door in a similar style to Kenny. 

But Kyle finishes his papers a week before theyre due. why would he still need to write a few paragraphs?

"Do you know what's up with them?" I asked, turning to the kitchen where Stan was making popcorn. Well, was as in past tense. By the time I turned to the kitchen, Stan was gone with a bowl of popcorn sitting on the counter. 

Hearing the doorknob turn, I whipped my head around to see Stan halfway out the door. 

He paused with one foot out when he noticed my eyes on him.

"uh…" he trailed off, searching for the words for his reason, "We'll do this tomorrow! bye yn!" and with that, Stan Marsh shut the door and I was sitting alone in my apartment. 

What the fuck just happened?

Without anything else to do, I decided to put on my shoes as well and investigate what was happening in the park. I had a youtube channel to run, after all. And who knows, maybe I'll get some good superhero shots tonight!

Halfway to the park, my wish comes true. Through the sky, a blur of color speeds through the air. 

That’s got to be Human Kite!

I pull out my phone and aim it towards the sky, zooming in on his face as he looks down. Through the screen, I can see his eyes widen as his mouth moves in words I can’t hear. Suddenly, he’s nose diving towards the ground. I worry he’s going to crash but he pulled up at the last second and lands on his feet. 

"You really shouldn't be in this area, we don't know how far the plant problem has spread." He holds up a hand to block your camera as he speaks to you. Human Kite always was more camera shy than the others. It was rare that you got a good shot of him during your on-site reporting. 

God damnit, Kite, I’m trying to speak for the people here!

"That's exactly why I need to be here! how else are the people of south park going to know the true events!" You refute, moving the camera above his hand to refocus my frame. 

Down the street, a plant burst through the concrete, purple and green spotted head screaming at an ear piercing volume. The head lunged at a teen trying to escape on their bike, cutting off their cries of terror with a single chomp. 

“See that! That’s the type of truth the people of South Park need to see!” I exclaimed, leaning to the right to zoom in on the plant happily crunching on the teen as muffled cries of “oh god!” and “Why, Jesus! WHY!” echoed down the street. 

Human Kite stepped to the right, blocking my frame, “I’m serious, this area is extremely dangerous. You need to get as far away as-” The jaws of a mutant plant closed around him before the sentence could finish. I scrambled away from the plant, clutching my phone close to my heart in case it attempted to beat out of my chest. 

“NO!” A shout sounded from behind me. I spun with my camera to catch Toolshed rushing down the street with a weed wacker in hand. 

“KY- I MEAN KITE, HUMAN KITE!” He stuttered, likely due to the stress of watching your partner in crime fighting be eaten by a giant piranha plant. It was at this point he noticed you standing there, camera still held up to catch his expression shift. 

“Uh- Civilian! You need to get back!” He said, holding out an arm between me and the plant to push me back. I lifted my arms to keep my shot clear. 

“No, no, it’s alright! I’m just here to film this for the town! I’ll just be back here, this camera has a great zoom.” I flashed the snazzy camera setup in his direction before refocusing on the plant that ate Kite. 

Toolshed opened his mouth to protest but before he could, Professor Chaos emerged from behind the plant, maniacally cackling with arms outstretched as if to bask in his own villainous glory. 

Wow, this is a great shot. The people are going to love this. 

I focused my camera on the villain as he began to speak. 

“That’s right! I’ve captured the Human Kite within my carnivorous plants! And soon you will all be-” Chaos stopped his monologue as our eyes met. The devious smile shifted to a wide grin as he waved a tinfoil wrapped hand, “oh hey yn!” 

I gave a quick wave back, “Hey Chaos!” 

“Chaos? Oh yeah, CHAOS!” Professor Chaos snapped back into action, strutting around the plant which held the Human Kite as if it were the prize pig at the fair. 

“This is some of my best work yet! Months of experimenting have allowed me to develop the perfect containment for you stupid heroes! And soon, you’ll all be nothing but plant food!” 

A flash of darkness crossed my vision to my left. 

“You’ll never get away with this, Chaos.” Mysterion crouched atop a boulder, deep voice reverberating through the air. 

Holy shit it’s Mysterion! The viewers are going to love this!

The statement only made Professor Chaos laugh, “Never get away with this? But I already have! Half of the town is being digested in my plants of chaos and the other half is soon to follow!”

God damn, this is good. I can’t wait to tell the guys about this!

After professor chaos is defeated (like always), Mysterion leads to back to your apartment, chastising you for getting in the middle of another hero/villain altercation

At this point, you know the whole script he goes through about how “it’s really not safe” and “you can’t just run into a fight between superhumans” 

And you nod and say you’ll never do it again

But you totally will

The next day, you tell the guys all about it

But they all seem super tired for some reason

You asked Kyle what paper he had to write so suddenly and he responded that he wrote a philosophy paper’s due date wrong in his phone and only noticed when the Call Girl notification went out

Seems a little sketchy but okay

At the end of the day, they’re your friends and you love them

You all make plans to redo your sleepover that weekend! And Butters is able to come this time since he’s feeling better! 

[dreamonseems]

Okay so heyy

Erling haaland angst like maybe he was at club while y/n was at home and she was scrolling Instagram and saw erling kissing some girl on someone's story.

You can finish it however you want butt I want haaland to get very emotional and start begging for forgiveness

Thanks you love<33

I'm Sorry

Erling Haaland X Reader

Summary: Erling goes partying with the team and puts himself in a bad situation.

Ok, so I'm not really an angst girl, but I tried my best. I hope this is to your liking. I think it turned out OK. I lowkey had a hard time writing this because I love him so much, I can't see him doing anything wrong, lol

Erling was away for a match, but he and Y/N had agreed to FaceTime before he went to bed. He missed her so much and couldn't wait to see her face again. As the call connected, he could see her smiling at him, her hair cascading down her shoulders.

"Hey, baby," he said, grinning at her.

"Hi, you," she replied, her voice filled with warmth. "How was the game?"

"It was good," he said, a note of exhaustion in his voice. "We won, but it was a tough match."

"I'm glad you won," Y/N said, her eyes shining with pride. "You played so well."

Erling smiled at her, feeling his heart swell with love. "Thanks, babe. I couldn't have done it without you."

Y/N face softened, and she reached out to touch the screen. "I miss you so much," she said, her voice breaking slightly.

"I miss you too," he said, wishing he could reach through the screen and hold her. "But we'll be together soon."

They talked for a while longer, sharing stories and updates about their lives. As the call drew to a close, Erling felt a pang of sadness. He wished he could be with her, holding her close and feeling her warmth. But for now, he was grateful for the technology that allowed them to stay connected even when they were apart.

He hears a knock on his hotel room door. He pauses for a moment and then excuses himself to see who it is. When he opens the door, he sees a few of his teammates standing there, grinning.

"Hey, man! We're heading out to the bar to celebrate the win. You coming with us?" one of them asks.

Erling hesitates for a moment, looking back at Y/N on the screen. "I don't know," he says.

Y/N speaks up, "It's fine if you want to go with your team, Erling. Have a good time."

Erling nods, feeling relieved. "Okay, I'll go with you guys. Let me just finish up this call first."

He turns back to the screen and smiles at Y/N. "I'll call you later tonight, okay? Love you."

"Love you too," she says, blowing him a kiss.

As he hangs up the call, he feels grateful to have such a supportive partner. He quickly changes into more casual clothes and heads out with his teammates for a night of celebration.

-------------

Erling was out with his team mates, and they were having a great time at the bar, taking shots and having fun. Suddenly, a group of girls approached them and started flirting with some of the guys. Erling was not interested in any of the girls, but one of them kept talking to him, and he was slowly trying to distance himself from the situation.

Just as he was about to leave, one of the girls slipped, and he caught her. He asked her if she was okay, and she replied that she was. Erling turned to his team mates and said that he was going back to the hotel.

but the rest of the group started pressuring him to stay and have more drinks with them. Feeling pressured, Erling gave in and drank a little too much. He found himself sitting alone in the corner of the bar.

The same girl he helped earlier sat beside him, thanking him again for his help. Erling replied that it was no problem, and the girl asked him for a picture. Erling leaned in for the photo, but the girl turned her head and kissed him on the lips. Erling was shocked and pulled away immediately, getting up and leaving.

He debated with himself whether he should tell Y/N or not about what happened, feeling guilty and afraid of losing her.

Unbeknownst to him, someone had snapped a photo of both incidents and sold it to the tabloids. The next day, when Erling arrived at the airport in England, he was greeted by paparazzi asking him questions about the photo. He was mortified when he checked his phone and saw an article with the photo, claiming that he had a mysterious affair.

When he arrived home, he found Victoria sitting on the stairs, her head in her hands, tears in her eyes.

"Please tell me it's not true...Erling, tell me it's not true!" she begged, throwing her phone towards him. Erling picked it up and saw the photo of him kissing the girl all over Instagram.

Erling's heart was racing as he rushed he got to his knees in front of her tears streaming down his eyes.

"Baby, no God, no," he said.

"I swear to you, I never cheated on you or did anything with that girl or any girl." He pleaded with her, even tears falling down his face.

She was in shock. She had never seen Erling cry before, let alone be this emotional. Erling told her the whole story about what happened in the bar, and Y/N listened in silence. After he was done, they sat there in silence for a while. Finally, Y/N Spoke.

"I've never seen you cry before," she said softly.

Erling took her hands, and she could feel him shaking. "I love you so, Y/N," he said. "Please believe me. I would never do anything to ruin our relationship. I'm truly scared that you believe those pictures are real and will leave me. I don't think I'll be able to live without you. I'm so sorry I shouldn't have put myself in that situation. I should have gone home when those girls came up to us. I promise I wont let that happen again please, please forgive I'm so fucking sorry!"

Y/N looked deep into his eyes and could tell that he was telling the truth and that he truly loved her. She pulled him into her arms, and they stayed there for what felt like hours, just holding each other.

Erling's manager was able to obtain the video surveillance from the bar that night, showing that Erling was innocent. Even the girl came out and said that the pictures were a misunderstanding. The articles were taken down, and everything went back to normal.

It was a rough experience, but it brought Erling and Y/N closer together, strengthening their bond and trust in each other.

[luvtsumu]

it's gonna be alright

atsumu x gn!uni-student!reader!!!! atsumu comforts reader about their assignment deadline :-(, lots of pet names, physical comfort, super lowkey implied that atsumu pays for bills and whatnot (i just cant not include this LOL)))), hhhmmmmm i dont have anything else to add, except maybe that this is super self-indulgent and that i love atsumu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_

atsumu's hands are warm, large enough that they cover enough of your thighs as he rubs them gently. he's on the floor, seated on his calves as you sit on the couch with your head in your hands. it's his body that separates you from the coffee table where you were only growing frustrated with your school work.

"it's gonna be alright, pretty," atsumu sighs, giving you a gentle squeeze. he begins to almost knead the muscle of your thigh, applying pressure with his thumbs. "ya need to take a break... it'll do ya some good," he continues, tilting his head to try and peak at your face.

you, however, had it buried in your hands so as not to let atsumu see your tears. he already knows you're crying, though.

"it's not, atsumu," you whimper, voice cracking, "i can't take a break because the assignment is due tonight. and i have barely two hours left, and i still have nothing. i've had nothing for 2 whole days..." you try to hold back a sob. "i'm trying so hard to write this-- this stupid paper!"

atsumu winces a bit. he's completely lost with his words and he knows he should say something. instead, his body comforts you first, giving you a tighter squeeze and pushing his hands against your thighs up to your waist. he squeezes himself between your legs and pulls you into his embrace, letting you curl down to sob against his shoulder.

he doesn't understand. he went straight to pursuing his dreams of going pro and securing his career. it was tough at times, yes, even tough still today; but he doesn't think it will ever compare to your frustration that only continues to boil inside of you with every single assignment you bring home. you're up all night, up so early, sometimes you don't even have time to do anything fun.

the least he's able to do is give you space in his home, take care of your other worries that he can confidently take over, and be here with you in the moment. who cares if he has an early morning practice and he's usually in bed at 9pm? he'll stay up until 4 if you need him to.

"m'sorry, atsumu," you sniffle, pulling away.

atsumu sees your face and he gives you a small smile. his first reaction is to move his hands to cup your cheeks, wiping your tear stained cheeks. he then tugs at the collar of your shirt to wipe the snot off your upper lip which makes you laugh.

"h-hey--" you giggle, pulling away.

he chuckles, admiring the way your eyes squint up. even when you're crying, you're the cutest.

"hey, it's tough, i know that much," he speaks softly, leaning towards you. he rests his hands on your hips as you take his face into yours. "and i'm 'ere with ya. i'll be 'ere until ya finish--as long as you need, sweet thing. and i'll even volunteer ta be the one typin' if yer fingers get tired."

"atsumuuuu," you whine lightly. still, you have a smile on your lips.

this makes him grin and you two share a light laugh. seeing even a small lift in your mood reassures him that he's doing alright and he knows that you aren't bothered with his closeness or eagerness to help you out. he knows that sometimes all you need is alone time, and he's so glad that now is not one of those times and you could at least some of your worries for this assignment fall onto him.

"it's okay to take a break, pretty," he continues, "sometimes, we just... can't meet deadlines. it sucks, yes, but... maybe a break will make ya feel much better. even if it's just 30 minutes."

he can see your hesitance and he knows how important this is to you. of course he won't take that away from you, always wanting you to take the lead in your own life, but he at least wants you to take a step back to breathe with him. it hurts him to see you all worked up to the point where you feel so useless and dumb because you're not. he's here to let you know that you're not—let you fall into him so he can help you back up.

"i'll keep ya in my arms," he tells you softly, giving your body a gentle squeeze before pulling away to get up. his disconnection from you is only brief as his hands immediately motion for your grasp.

you give it to him, allowing him to hoist you up so that he could hug you.

and it's warm—atsumu's hugs are always warm.

"i'll take care of ya, 'kay?" he whispers, giving your cheek a kiss before he dips his head into your neck. he breathes you in, squeezing you as he inhales and then lets his embrace loosen as he exhales. "just 30 minutes, and then we'll get ya back on yer paper. and if yer prof gets upset, tell 'em that msby's miya atsumu's gonna flame 'em on national television the next chance he gets."

once again the both of you share a laugh. you feel the squeeze he gives you when you do and it gives your body reason to relax. you lean into him, close your eyes and bask in the moment. he knows a couple tears still roll down your cheeks, but it's reassuring to the both of you that you know he's there.

"okay," you tell him, being the first to pull away. you smile, laughing a bit as you wipe your tears. "just... just 30 minutes. and then i'll get back to work."

atsumu hums, nodding along as you speak. he remains silent, listening as you continue to affirm yourself.

"and... and if i don't make the deadline, that's okay. i was trying and i don't know. i just... hit a bump on the road. or like—a pothole. plus, it's just a 10% deduction! better than 50 or getting a 0."

atsumu laughs lightly and so do you.

"we'll be okay," you say with a small smile, gaze a bit shy as you look at atsumu. his warm gaze reminds your shoulders to ease and your smile becomes wider.

"we'll be okay," he repeats for you. he gives you a kiss on the forehead and yet another warm hug. "let's take that nap, yeah? i'll wake ya up so there's not a thing my pretty lover has to worry about."

[annasinterests]

don't look at me like that unless you mean it

smiling, having fun ♫ feeling like a number one

|| series masterlist || main masterlist ||

a/n: god dayum this took me so long to put out and i sincerely apologize friends!!! my family's been in town and i've been planning trips with my bf for the next couple of weeks so i've just been sooo busy. to make up for it, enjoy the longest chapter i've written yet :)) i legit had so much fun writing it but i also fussed w/ it a ton because i wanted to get it just how i envisioned it. nuff' ramblin' from me, love y'all, enjoy !

word count: 9.8k (i had over 10k written b4 editing but still omfg!)

pairings: joel miller x f!reader

warnings & tags: minors dni, cursing, joel/reader/tommy being cute, tommy being an instigator lowkey, mutual pining, joel and reader going on a lil 'date', sexual themes, mentions of alcohol/being drunk, honestly kinda self-indulgent esp on the music parts, angst RAAAAAAAAH — please tell me if i missed anything!

Friday. Thank God.

As the morning light painted the sky in soft hues, you opted to savor your coffee on the front porch with your feet kicked up on the deck railing, basking in the quiet before the day's festivities consumed the town.

The early hour granted you respite from the scorching sun, sparing you the discomfort of the sweltering heat that would undoubtedly arrive later. Dressed in a small tank top and shorts, you relished the cool breeze that gently brushed against your skin. Tilting your head back, you closed your eyes, allowing the sounds of chirping birds to serenade you and the warm rays envelop you in a soothing embrace.

You thought back to last night with Ellie, how much fun you had with her even though you passed out before the movie was even over. It was the perfect start to your two days of rest, and it prompted you to commit a rare act of self-care by pushing off your new workload until the new week started.

You always did something on your days off for Jackson, whether it was doing a few favors for neighbors or finding yourself in Maria’s office all day. Nothing ever to give yourself the time you deserved.

And maybe it was selfish– irresponsible, even– but you needed a real break, and when would you get that if not today? Tonight promised laughter, music, and camaraderie. All your problems and issues would still be there tomorrow anyway.

"Put some clothes on, would you?" You jerked your head forward to meet Tommy walking up with a grin on his face. You rolled your eyes.

"I'll put on more clothes when you shave off that disaster you call a mustache."

He put his hand over his chest that shook with laughter and took the vacant seat next to you. When you offered him coffee, he politely declined, chuckling when you insisted that you could add whiskey to it for him. "I actually came to ask a favor."

He watched as you peered down at the imaginary watch on your wrist before giving him a skeptical look. “Tommy, if you’re asking me to work, the answer is-”

“No! God, no.” You let out a thank fuck under your breath. “It’s for tonight.”

You raised your eyebrows as you drew a sip from your coffee. For tonight? He took your silence as a cue to continue.

"Joel tells me that you've got quite the music collection. I was wonderin' if I could borrow a couple of your tapes or CDs or whatever y'got?"

You thought about it for half a second, but pretended to be in deep contemplation. He grew antsy, attempting to seriously reason with you, and when you couldn't hold it together any longer, you hid your grin behind your mug as you watched him realize that you were fucking with him. You got up from your seat and signaled for him to follow you inside as you grabbed cassettes for his cause.

Joel had been in the kitchen pouring himself a cup from the pot you had already brewed. You peered around the corner to set your mug on the counter, flashing him a bright smile before quickly scurrying off, catching a glimpse of how his face dropped from a smile to confusion upon hearing more footsteps in the house. You giggled once you heard his groan, followed by 'Jesus, don't you know what time it is?'

You picked through your pile, grabbing tapes that you were certain would be winners. Once content with your selection, you brought them back to Tommy in the kitchen. His eyes and smile widened at the handful, carefully taking them into his possession. Joel, still clearly waking up, watched the interaction with a dull curiosity over the rim of his mug, flickering his gaze from you, to the cassettes, and lastly Tommy.

Your eyes lingered on the tapes, a small smile brought to your face at the pure nostalgia they held. You knew each track on each tape, word for word. You remembered when you heard them for the first time, what life had felt like, and when you found yourself listening to them the most. Normally, you'd feel hesitant to lend out your most prized possessions. They’d been with you ever since before outbreak day, and the one constant you had since the beginning that got you through your toughest times. But this was Tommy, and you didn’t have to think twice about whether or not you could trust him.

"Wait, I almost forgot!" You snapped out of your thinking to go and retrieve another part from your pile. You handed him a small deck of index cards binded together with twine in what was your own way of personally cataloging. "It's already in order, by cassette and song title, so you can figure out if there's something you don't wanna play.. or whatever you got planned." You lazily gestured.

The brothers exchanged a look before turning their attention to the cards. Joel set his coffee down and took the thin stack from Tommy, reading over it together as they glanced back and forth between the cardstock and the tapes. The corner of his mouth curled up as he skimmed over the songs, making it impossible for you not to smile either. You sheepishly looked down while rolling your feet from heel to toe with your hands behind your back, feeling like a kid showing their parents a piece of art they made at school.

"Had the world not gone to shit, you could’ve been a mean music curator.” Joel waved the cards between his thumb and forefinger, a suppressed laugh leaving your lips.

“Yeah.. damn, these bring back some good memories. Buncha’ old ones on here, some even way before our time.” Tommy motioned between himself and Joel.

The small smile on Joel’s face grew bigger, his face becoming more lively at a realization. “Y’know, ‘lotta these were popular bar songs. You were just shy of eighteen back then, weren’t you?”

Tommy quickly caught on to Joel’s train of thought, matching his grin. You stared at him with a subtle smirk, knowing that he knew he was right, and only asked to make it a point that he knew that. And in a way, you found it kind of.. hot? He was keenly aware of your timeline and able to make the connections that no one else really could. He didn’t have to do the mental math like Tommy probably was after he said it. You felt a surge of heat in your cheeks and on the tip of your ears as their gaze on you persisted, waiting for you to answer.

“.. I may or may not have snuck into them..”

Their voices overlapped with elation, to which you stuck up a middle finger for each Miller.

“Sounds like you were living on the edge,” Tommy peered down at Joel’s hand, “..of seventeen.”

Before you could open your mouth to scold Tommy for popping the corniest joke in all of the apocalypse, he and Joel fell into their own fit of laughter, bumping shoulders and elbowing one another. So proud and smug of their joint-effort to expose your rebellious years. But you found yourself grinning, not at the joke, but at them.

You shook your head, letting out a mix of a laugh and sigh, “Alright, you boys had your fun. Now Joel, why don’t you do your big brother duties and show Tommy the way out?”

He raised a brow at you, bringing his mug to his lips, “Must I remind you that it was you that brought him in here, not me?”

Tommy raised his hands up in defense as you glared at Joel, “Alright- I’ll see myself out.” He winked at you as he walked past, “Give you a break before ya’ gotta deal with me tonight.”

You and Joel walked him to the door, exchanging goodbyes until later this evening. Just before stepping out, Tommy suddenly turned over his shoulder to you. "Oh! Before I forget– Are you seein’ anybody?”

You froze at his question, your smile slacked and your eyes widened. The residual feeling of laughter in your chest subsided quickly as if it never existed in the first place. He held up his left hand, “Not for me, obviously.”

You rolled your eyes, then narrowing them at him. “Yeah, no shit. What, are you playing matchmaker for me?”

“Not for you, someone else.” A shit-eating grin appeared on his face. “So, are you?”

The short answer was no. You were too busy with leading your life in Jackson.. And being hopelessly in love with his brother.

“Uh– no. I’m not.”

Joel's gaze shifted towards you, your words evoking enough of a reaction out of him, to which Tommy caught and raised an eyebrow with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. They bounced between you and Joel as if he had caught a whiff of the unspoken agreement you two held. You felt your cheeks go hot again, knowing that your words hadn't gone unnoticed by either of them.

He bid a final farewell with an unconvincing nod that left you both standing in the foyer quietly, which was luckily cut short by Ellie coming through the back door, giving you both the perfect excuse to forget all about.. whatever that was.

She rubbed away the sleep in her eyes, murmuring a good morning to you and Joel as she made her way into the kitchen, both of you treading in after her. You inquired about the basics. How'd you sleep? Want me to make you something for breakfast? Do you want orange juice? What are your plans for the day? Joel watched as you engaged in conversation, admiration and warmth flaring in his chest as you seamlessly transitioned into your role as a caretaker.

You were receptive when she shared her plans for the day, further inquiring about smaller details of her schedule. He watched as Ellie became more animated the more she got to talk about her day ahead, especially as you encouraged her.

"What about you guys? Don't you both have off today?" Ellie faced in her chair so that she could clearly see you both.

You exchanged a glance with Joel before you both shrugged your shoulders. You hadn't realized that he had the day off as well, if you were being completely honest. As you thought about it, it occured to you that you hadn't gotten to figure that part out, since Tommy and all. When you confessed that you hadn’t planned anything for the day, Ellie’s eyes squinted in deep thought for a moment, then looked back at you both, “Why don’t you guys do something together?

You straightened up at her proposal, mildly thrown off, sharing another look with Joel before you both attempted to give a series of excuses, which just came out in a mess of jumbled, almost incoherent words.

“Oh, come on! You guys almost never do anything together.”

You folded your arms in defiance, but it came off more as a pout. “Yes, we do.”

“Sitting at home together doesn’t count.” You opened your mouth to disagree, but nothing came out. “Go out! Have a date or something.”

You nearly choked on your coffee as Joel sighed, speaking with caution, “Ellie–”

“Anyways! I’m off to Dina’s for the day.” She beamed and laughed in victory as she watched you two writhe in place. You could hear the smile in her voice as she left out the back door, “You kids have fun tonight, and make good decisions!”

God– first Tommy, now her. It couldn’t have been past nine yet.

You hand cradled your elbow, the other hand covering your eyes as your thumb and middle finger kneaded at your temples. Okay, maybe she was right. Maybe you and Joel didn’t spend proper ‘quality time’ together, but it just wasn’t something that either one of you were accustomed to. Before Jackson, the most you were able to be alone outside of your apartments were during smuggle runs, which was definitely not the type of recreational activity that she was referring to, and once you picked her up and finally settled here, your lives were centered around her and your respective jobs for the community.

Joel crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway that bordered the dining room, staring at the back door and then subsequently at you. You hadn’t noticed him looking, still hiding behind your hand to mask your embarrassment, and saw how his eyes raked over your figure, taking in how little clothes you were wearing. The black tank top was a deep cut halter that exposed your arms, chest, and just the littlest bit of midriff. Your shorts matched in color, the fabric just hovering over the higher part of your thighs with slits up the sides.

It was a good thing for him that you had your eyes covered. You weren’t able to see how his tongue poked over his bottom lip and his eyes that were drawn to your cleavage that was accentuated by your arms drawn together. Even with your fair share of scars, your skin looked so perfect and soft under the glow of sunlight through the window, so much that he could barely keep himself back from touching you, wanting to trace the contours of your arms with his fingers and hold your face in his palms again.

His heart thumped in his chest as he wondered what it would feel like to rub your legs against his under bed sheets. How it would feel to press his fingertips into the soft flesh of your hips–

“Joel?”

His head jerked up slightly as his eyes darted to yours. “What?”

Irked, you threw your hand away from your face in an exasperated manner, “Do you wanna come?

He stared dumbly at you, stuttering, “Do I- w-what?”

“To Lake Falwich! Weren’t you listening?” You threw him an incredulous look as he shook his head to himself, apparent to you that he in fact hadn’t listened to a damn word you said.

Lake Falwich was located off of Elk Creek, an area you and Joel switched off on patrolling. You’d found the place when you went off-path during your first summer patrol, deeming it as another little hidden gem of Jackson County. Over the years, you grew fond of it and made it a point to frequent it whenever beyond the walls, but you hadn’t been yet this season.

“Uh, yeah– Yes– Sure.”

You didn’t know what had gotten into him in the last few minutes, but you couldn’t deny that you enjoyed seeing him all flustered and not being able to keep eye contact with you. How the tables turned for once.

“I’ll be ready to head out in ten.” You began to head towards the stairs for your room, but stopped at his side and placed your hand on his shoulder, curling your fingers over the muscle, “Don’t keep me waiting.”

A grin adorned your face as you walked away, leaving Joel to hang onto the sensation that burned his skin where you touched him and force himself to calm down from the excitement growing in his pants. He hadn’t really known what he’d just gotten himself into with you, and you were pleasantly surprised at his answer as you half-expected him to come up with some reason to not go.

But one thing was clear to you both: It was definitely not a date.

Your hands draped near the straps of his pack by his hips as you rode out, brushing against his belt and jeans every so often. It wasn’t a difficult route by any means; fairly smooth and clear of any obstructions.

Being the passenger gave you the opportunity to be immersed by your surroundings rather than having to focus in front of you. You got to pay attention to the small things, like the rhythmic beat of the horse’s hooves against the ground and the scent of pine mingled with the earthy aroma of the forest. The trees towered above you, their branches forming a natural canopy that filtered the sunlight, casting dappled shadows on the trail. Every so often, the trees would give way to open meadows, where wildflowers swayed in the gentle breeze.

When you weren’t being captivated by nature, your attention was drawn back to Joel. The heat had caused his hair to curl at the nape of his neck that was slicked with sweat, seeping into the collar of his dark gray shirt that stretched across his shoulders and back with more splotches of sweat. Now and then, you’d get a glimpse of his profile when he scouted around. You felt like a teenager getting to hang out with her crush that she’d had since elementary school, your stomach doing flips just from the proximity alone.

The ride itself was filled with comfortable silence, punctuated by moments of look there and did you see that? with every passing mile. You could get used to this– having these little outings together.

You could hear the rushing water before you could see it, the sound of it growing louder and louder until it finally came into view. When the landscape presented itself before you, you felt a child-like thrill growing in your chest. The clear water shimmered with a vivid turquoise hue that seemed almost unreal, partnered with tall limestone walls that framed the lake. Smaller stone structures and boulders formed near the base of the waterfall, enticing you to explore and conquer their heights again like you’d done in the past. The vegetation extended all around the area, mosses and ferns clung to the rock walls in a tapestry of greenery. It all gave you a sense of simultaneous exhilaration and peace.

Eager to get to the water, you dismounted from the horse before Joel could hitch it, causing him to call out after you in protest and watch you with a careful eye as he got everything situated. You stood at the mouth of the lake with your boots kicked off when he joined you, slowly following suit.

“So.. What do you wanna do now?”

With the heat, there was only one thing to do.

“Jump in.” You pointed to a ledge that was a considerable height up. “From there.”

He met where your finger signaled, then back to you with a quizzical look. “Don’t you reckon that’s a bit high?”

You shrugged your shoulders and threw a smile over your shoulder as you walked away from him, earning a scoff and one of his typical disapproving head shakes. His eyes stayed on you as you made your way, widening when you started to peel off your clothes piece by piece.

First off was your tank top, slipping it effortlessly over your head, then the undoing of your belt and shimmying out of your jeans. You’d stripped down to only a sports bra and underwear, both of which happened to match, which was very much unplanned. Through each removal of clothing, Joel couldn’t help but have his eyes glued to you. He became restless, running his hands through his hair and turning around just to face back to you because he simply couldn’t keep his eyes off you. And when you looked back at him, you felt a little boost of confidence in seeing how he kept his attention on you.

You ascended the rocks, reaching your desired spot and standing proudly, waving your arms above your head at a miffed Joel. The air was filled with a refreshing mist, carrying the fragrance of damp earth and the invigorating energy of the cascading waterfall. The lake below you offered a new perspective on how high you really were, and for a second, you considered that Joel was maybe right.

But fuck it.

Your legs propelled you forward, curling up as you plummeted, and your shouts of joy drowned out by the thunderous roar of the falls. The water engulfed you, prickling your body with its cold touch. Submerged beneath the surface, you held onto the sensation of being weightless, listening to nothing but the ebb and flow of the currents and feeling them weave through your fingertips.

You emerged from the depths to the sun’s warmth on your face. When you refocused your vision, you saw that Joel was standing in the same spot as before, now with his arms crossed against his chest. You swam closer to the shoreline.

“Come on, water’s fine!” He shook his head. “It wasn’t a question, now get your ass in here, Miller!”

He rolled his eyes and huffed, shaking his head once more before pulling off his shirt by the collar and tossing it aside with his boots and pack, and despite being in the freezing water, you flooded with heat at the sight of him. You’d only seen him in small increments when tending his wounds, but now you could finally know what he looked like underneath those damned clothes.

Just as you suspected, his shoulders were strong with muscle, and the prominent veins in his hands and forearms traveled upwards through his biceps. His chest and abdomen were toned and had an even layer of hair, and you basically drooled at the definition of his hips and the trail of hair leading down that was secured by a belt. Beyond his attractive features, though, you saw his scars of survival. His torso littered with healed lesions, many of which you cared for, and a significant mark near his side that reflected the time of his near-death.

“Don’t splash me now, alright?” He stifled a laugh as he undid his belt, which took all your self-control to not watch his hands and think ungodly things. Once he stripped down to his boxer briefs, he stepped further into the lake, wincing at the coldness as he got deeper. When the water reached his thighs, he sucked in a sharp breath and hissed, “Shit- That’s cold.”

You were too busy gaping at how muscles tensed and contorted to make a stupid remark. He delved deeper into the lake until he fully submerged himself, surfacing quickly and shaking out his hair, which was doing things for you. In all the years you spent with him, you didn’t think that he could possibly get more attractive, nor did you think that you’d ever be like this right now, yet here you were.

In what was supposed to be a little fun getaway from all the stresses of the world, you found yourself seriously lusting for him in this moment, which was a stress all on its own. You were alone in a very much secluded area, only an article of clothing or two away from being naked, moreover. The very thought sent you over the edge, making you physically ache where you wanted him the most. How easy it’d be to just close the distance and get lost in him for hours.

The fact that you couldn’t do that, though, pained you viscerally. You couldn’t keep looking at him, or else you’d do something stupid, so you closed your eyes and spread your limbs out to drift on your back. You focused on your breathing, honing in on how your body bobbed with each inhale and exhale and letting the water guide you in any direction.

The next few hours were spent floating, challenging Joel to swimming races, and jumping off the rocks to see who could make the bigger splashes. You found yourselves in lots of banter and bickering, especially when you did a flip off of a ledge and Joel was very displeased that you could’ve hit your head. All you could feel was pure, unadulterated happiness. Together, you were having fun. Real fun. Enjoying each other’s company and nature’s playground.

A while after you returned to drifting on your backside, an unfamiliar sensation across your back and thighs caused you to flail and frantically look around. Sheer panic rose as you realized that you’d drifted off into the deeper end, and you tried to calmly but quickly thrust yourself back into shallow waters.

“Somethin’ got you scared?” Joel had been awfully calm with an arrogant grin on his face, and his laughter rung out clear in the air as he watched you go through the motions of panic, confusion, and finally disdain.

You feigned indignation. “Don’t be a dick.”

Once your feet touched the solid floor, you waded and found a spot to sit in the safety of the shallows, pulling your knees up and resting your arms on them. As Joel drew in to join you, you watched as the water lapped at his waist, drawing your attention to the band of his boxer briefs that seemed to hang dangerously low on his hips and how they clung to him in a way that’d have all the women in Jackson ready on their knees for him. His body swayed with a subtle rhythm and cadence that was uniquely his; full of purpose and so.. virile. You averted your gaze to the sediment of where you sat in an attempt to rid yourself of the thoughts you were having.

The clearness allowed you to examine its composition of pebbles and rocks of all kinds, and you picked up handfuls of them to admire their different qualities, quickly getting wrapped up in recognizing unique patterns and markings. Joel watched as you threw the ones you didn’t like further into the lake, like it was a process of elimination until you found the best one.

When you liked one, you wordlessly handed it to him without taking your attention away from the ones in front of you. There was a serene grace in your actions, as if you were entrusting him with something fragile and precious, and he took notice of the care in which you handled each stone. He’d give it a once over, his fingers gliding over the surface, before dropping it back into your hand. There was something about you doing this, yielding to human nature’s innocent curiosity, that made it so much more than just a seemingly mundane exchange to him.

Your eyes met his briefly, and you saw he was truly relaxed from how the hard lines of his face were softened. The sun shone on him in where you could really see the depths of his eyes; the green-gold that seeped into a lighter brown around his pupil, creating the most beautiful iris structure you’d ever seen. His skin held a perpetual tan with freckles all over his shoulders, a feature that you weren’t necessarily familiar with. Waves and curls formed near his ears and forehead as his hair dried, most of it disheveled and left you wanting to run your fingers through to tame it. Your eyes drifted to his body for a moment, overly cognizant of how much bigger he was compared to you. With a tinge of a smile, you turned back to your little stones, gently placing them back in the water in a decision to leave them where they belonged.

“As much as I’ve enjoyed this,” Joel’s voice filled the silence, “we should get goin’ soon. Promised Tommy I’d swing by to help set up a couple things.”

You hummed in acknowledgment. If there was one thing about Joel, it was that he always showed up for Tommy, no matter how big or small it was. Even if it was a five-minute task or a project that Tommy was entirely capable of doing on his own, Joel was always there. You had that in common with him, back when you had your brother.

As you were about to stand, Joel hovered over you with an extended hand. You clasped it with your own as you gained your balance, but when doing so, your eyes caught a glimpse of something slithering right under your feet. You yelped at the sight, tightening your grip around his hand, and he instinctively pulled you to him, wrapping a protective arm around your waist while acting as a shield between you and the potential danger. He scanned the water, catching on to what you saw: a plains garter snake.

At the sound of his chuckle, you braced yourself against his chest in confusion as his arms were still around you. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s not-” he loosened his hold, but his hands still splayed over your waist. “It’s harmless, nothin’ to worry about.”

“Oh.” You bowed your head forward in relief and slight embarrassment, and a faint smile played at his lips. Your hands were still on each other, almost as if you were trying to play it out as long as possible until either you pulled away or he did, which winded up being the former. You drew back to yourself, stepping backwards as he released you. “Thanks.”

You both retrieved your belongings and set up on a flat bed of rock to dry out, another comfortable silence enveloping you once again as you bathed in the warmth. With your arm slung over your eyes, you could only sense Joel’s presence beside you. You slid your arm up to peer at him, his eyes fixed on the lake. His legs were drawn towards his chest with his forearms on his knees, his chest rising and falling in calm breaths. There was a peacefulness in his expression, a sense of contentment that mirrored your own. You smiled before covering up again, but he caught you at the last second.

“What’re you thinkin’ about over there?”

You brushed off his question. “Who says I’m thinking?”

“If there’s one thing about you, it’s that you’re never not thinkin’.” You sat up at the accusatory words, arching your eyebrows in disbelief. “Go on now, don’t keep me in suspense.”

“I..” a grin spread on your face, “..was thinking about how much fun your shift must’ve been with Fitz yesterday.”

You giggled as he let out a groan, successfully diverting away from where the conversation was leading. “Oh, it was a fuckin’ shift alright– and I don’t wanna talk too much about work, but he shouldn’t be bothering you anymore.”

You faced him and leaned back on your hand, eyeing him, “Joel, what did you-”

“I took care of it.” He left no room for you to speak, his voice stern. He softened a moment after once he realized how it came out a little too sharp. He lowered his attention down to his hands, rubbing his thumb into his palm, “..Not s’pose to treat a woman the way he does, especially when it’s you.”

A moment came and went in where it looked like he regretted his words, fearing that he may have revealed too much, or maybe not enough. But what you felt was incomparable to anything you’d ever felt before, hearing him tell you– blatantly admit to you that he regarded you differently than other people, and that if someone crossed you, they were crossing him too. You always knew he had your six, but this was different than that.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was doin’ that? Or Tommy?”

Those dumb, beautiful eyes conveyed a genuine concern that immediately made you feel guilty for not saying something sooner when you very well could’ve. At the same time, you didn’t want to fuss or make a big deal out of it. It was better that it was you than someone else, like Joel. So you tolerated it, because you were still able to do your job even with an annoying fucking twat as your partner.

“I never took him seriously. I thought he’d just stop if I ignored it enough, but.. clearly not.” You gave a half-suppressed laugh, knowing how ridiculous and naive it sounded out loud. He sighed at your answer, making you fidget, “I know! I know. You’re right– it was stupid of me-”

“Sweetheart–” his hand on your leg and delicious southern drawl shut you right up, “nothin’ stupid about you tryin’ to keep the peace. Just.. let me know next time, okay?”

All you could do was nod, dumbfounded by this new, open protectiveness towards you. He knew better than anyone else how you could handle yourself, but he still couldn’t help but feel that it was his job to keep you safe and be your advocate when you weren’t your own.

Without another word, he rose and offered you a hand up, indicating that enough time had passed and you should get going if you were going to be on time for the party. You accepted the gesture again, but he held your hand longer this time as he guided you down the rocks so that you wouldn’t trip, a chivalrous act that also gave an excuse to linger on your skin.

A hot shower was what you needed to scrub the freshwater off your skin and out of your hair, also to give you some much needed relief from having to control yourself the whole time you were with him, but of course you did that after he left since you shared his bathroom.

The sun dipped lower in the sky, casting a golden glow over Jackson. The vibrant energy of the evening pulsed through the town, the streets alive with people as they made their way to the most popular establishment, laughter and music floating through the air. You’d gone through about four outfits before ultimately deciding on a ribbed henley tank, jeans, and sneakers

Just before running out the door, you checked yourself in the mirror to smooth any stray hairs away from your face. With a smile, you stepped out, falling in with your neighbors who’d been on their way over as well, engaging in conversation on the short walk there. There’d been a crowd gathered outside the Tipsy Bison, people mingling and sharing stories, some already on their second round of drinks.

Through the doors you were immediately greeted by a wave of warmth and liveliness. Your eyes danced around the bar, jumping from full booths and high tables, to the large alcohol selection behind the counter guarded by about three barkeeps if you were counting right. The air was filled with a thousand different scents, ranging from beer and cigarettes to perfume and aftershave. And lastly, the sounds which brought it all together, the clinking of glasses and hum of conversation, and of course, music. Your music that people were enjoying.

Searching the crowd, you spotted familiar faces and friends scattered throughout the place, engrossed in their own circles, but the one person you actively sought out was nowhere in sight. Your efforts slowed as you heard a picking of chords grow louder over the speakers, causing a wild smile to grow on your face.

♫

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone Turned on some music to start my day I lost myself in a familiar song

♫

“I closed my eyes and I slipped awaaay!” Tommy appeared at your side two shots in one hand and unopened beers between his fingers in the other, slinging the arm around your shoulder as he pushed the small glass into your hands.

Without hesitation, you threw the shot back with him, feeling the instant burn go down your throat. You both popped off the beer caps off a nearby counter, a party trick you’d gotten quite good at over the years, before rushing over to the middle of the floor to join the rest of the party and sing your hearts out to your first song of the night. You could barely hear yourself over the speakers and fellow singers, saving you from the embarrassment from being incredibly off-key. Your body reacted instantly to the music, finding the rhythm and constantly moving in accordance. That was the other thing about music, you felt most comfortable in your skin when you listened and danced to it, being able to fall in with whatever played. In between the verses, you hurried over to the bar to grab more shots and beers, slamming doubles back before pulling each other back to the floor.

You and Tommy locked arms and pressed back to back while holding up your bottles in a toast-fashion, switching off during the last chorus and refrain and holding out the longer notes.

♫

It’s more than a feeling (More than a feeling!)

When I hear that old song they used to play (More than a feeling!)

I begin dreaming (More than a feeling!) ...

♫

The alcohol was slowly but surely taking over, a key indicator being the warm, fuzzy buzzing that flourished throughout your body. You clung to Tommy’s shoulder and leaned towards his ear during a break between songs, “Tommy, this is way better than I thought it was gonna be!”

He looked at you with wide eyes and a grin, “I know right! Joel really helped pull it together before we opened the doors!”

You smiled at the compliment towards his brother, then furrowing your brows. “Where is he, anyway?”

You both looked around for a moment before Tommy steered you off to the side, yelling that it was too hard to see from the middle, and your efforts were put on pause again as you winded up near a large group of patrolmen that grabbed Tommy’s attention. He dragged you with him to socialize, though you mainly watched from the outskirts of the circle, smiling and nodding along where the conversations went as you didn’t have much to say or add.

When you went to drink from your bottle, you noticed the lightness of it and realized that you needed another, giving you the perfect excuse to slip away and look for him. You checked over your shoulders as you squeezed your way through to the bar to request your next drink, and it didn’t help that the room was dimly lit and was accompanied by flashing strobes.

The barkeep slid you a bottle across the counter and you swiftly popped it off, taking a swig before turning around right into somebody. An apology flew out of your mouth before you could even see who it was, their voice catching your attention and making you look at them.

“Hey, no worries! Both still got our drinks, yeah?”

Samson flashed you a grin, his hand light on your arm but enough to keep you steady. You raised your beer to him, his eyes flickered between it and you before raising his own and tapping the neck of your bottles together. You both took another swig.

As you got into conversation, you moved away from the bar towards the wall where there wasn’t much action going on. You talked about how nice the place had been transformed for the night and shared your favorite drinks, occasionally dropping a drunk-story from your youths. And the weird part? You found yourself genuinely enjoying his presence. With the way he kept eye-contact with you and made you feel like he was actually listening and comprehending the words falling out of your mouth, laughing and giving you verbal cues that he was following along, it made you see him in a way you hadn’t before.

You were.. enchanted. If it had been any other man, they’d dominate the conversation, going on about themselves the whole time and forcing you to listen. But with Samson, he treated you like an equal. He never cut you off or interjected to relate, waiting until you were entirely done or if you allowed him to weigh in between your thoughts.

“By the way–” he wiped his mouth of any residual beer, “I don’t want this to come off as weird, but you look incredible tonight. I don't think I’ve ever seen you dress in anything other than like, work clothes– and not that you look bad in that!” You giggled as he tripped over his words, his cheeks flushing a deeper shade. “What I’m trying to say is that I think you’re very beautiful, and I don’t want you to think I’m like Fitz.”

Your fingers brushed against his arm, furrowing your eyebrows at him for thinking such things, “Awh, Samson! You’re nothing like him, I hope you know that.”

He smiled down at his feet before back at you, “I know the other day you said that you and Joel weren’t a thing, and Tommy told me you weren’t seeing anybody– so I guess I’m just triple checking here– is there someone in the picture?”

So this was who Tommy was playing matchmaker for.

Your heart slowed and you fought to keep the innocent smile on your face. Was he approaching you at the bar when you bumped into him? Was he pretending to act like that just to segue into this? Several things ran through your mind as your eyes drifted away from his, and just when he was about to call you back to attention, the devil himself appeared: Tommy.

He swooped in around Samson’s shoulders, nursing a beer in hand. He held a smugness in his demeanor, surely you thought it was about the scene he’d set up until he spoke.

“Looks like you may have a roommate for the night.”

He jerked his hand behind him to a woman leaning against a pillar with Joel standing mere inches in front of her. He stood still with his hands to himself, but dropped his head closer to hers with a clear smile on his face. She beamed up at him with a look you knew all too well, not even attempting to conceal her attraction to him. She laughed too much for your liking while gripping his bicep, probably sneaking in some flirty comment with a double-meaning. Good fucking God.

You thought maybe you had a breakthrough at the lake, but this proved that you clearly didn’t, and you couldn’t believe you were stupid enough to think that what he said had any depth underneath it. Joel cared about you– this you knew. He cared in the same way he cared for Tommy and Ellie. But somewhere along the lines you’d gotten it confused with love, something he had for them, but maybe not you. Samson’s words replayed in your head in a painful reminder.

You said you and Joel weren’t a thing… Tommy told me you weren’t seeing anybody.. Is there someone in the picture?

Your eyes widened then narrowed, your jaw wiring shut as your chest began to heave. Tommy’s grin fell as he watched your features morph into something between resent and heartbreak, his eyes nervously peering from you, to Joel, to Samson as the alcohol took a momentary backseat.

He’d always sensed something between you and Joel after you settled in, though he knew that neither one of you would ever admit to your feelings for each other out of stubbornness. But he saw the way Joel looked at you after saying you didn’t have someone to call your own this morning, how his big brother almost looked offended by the truth of your answer. The reality was that Samson was interested in you, but Tommy had seen it as an opportunity to put pressure on the status between you both, and now he saw that it didn’t go in the direction of which he hoped and it was clearly affecting you.

“Oh, y’know he won’t take ‘er home! Never’s taken anyone. Not like that with him. Too chickenshit.” He tried his best to play off his earlier comment to put you at ease, but by the way the gap seemed to be closing between them only made the green-eyed monster rear its ugly head in full force.

You cleared your throat as you broke away, grabbing three shots off a nearby high table and handing them to the two men before you, needing to wash down the bitter taste in your mouth. “Oh, Tommy, you must’ve mistaken me for someone who cares. Who knows if I’ll even be going home tonight?”

Samson’s face lit up in surprise as you wiggled your brows at him and grabbed his hand to lead away while leaving Tommy open-mouthed as he saw right through your spite. Breathless curses left his mouth as he watched you disappear through the crowd, a frustration growing towards you and Joel for being so goddamn stupid about each other.

The barkeeps fed you two more shots and another beer. The alcohol was definitely hitting now. A few minutes ago, you were properly pissed off, wanting to storm up to Joel and give him a piece of your mind and telling the woman to go kick rocks, but now you were all over Samson, turning up the charm for him. It didn’t matter anymore if he just wanted to fuck, because maybe you’d just let him. He let out a chuckle and smiled, prompting you to tilt your head at him in question.

“The music tonight has been so fucking good,” he drank from the bottle, a smirk forming on your face, “I mean, when was the last time you heard this song?”

The bass riff and guitars let you know exactly what song had been playing, a long-time favorite of yours. You could’ve answered 'a couple months ago' to his question, but you took silent pride in knowing that he was another person impressed by your picks. He understood your cue as you turned your head to the middle of the room and back, placing his hand on the small of your back as you weaved through people. You wrapped an arm around his shoulder as he drew you closer to him by your waist, moving in sync to the beat.

♫

One of these nights One of these crazy old nights We're gonne find out pretty mama What turns on your lights ...

♫

If intimacy, yearning, and sex was a song, surely it’d be this one.

♫

Ooh.. someone to be kind to In between the dark and the light ...

♫

You sang out with your heart, pressing your body into Samson’s, but knowing the lyrics were about him. And deep down, you wanted him to hear it and think of you. Think of how you were the daughter of the devil himself and the angel in white, the woman he’s been looking for with a little of both and how she is in sight.

Around you were all couples reflecting exactly what you’d been doing, some doing more but your eyes didn’t linger on them long. You caught the faces of work friends and neighbors totally focused on their person as you swayed around, smiling at their fun. Eventually, the whole room sang along, an imperfect harmony to your ears that you couldn’t get tired of hearing tonight.

As the song winded down, Samson held you closer and craned his head down until your foreheads and noses were touching, still swaying to the guitar riffs. You took it a step further and pressed your mouth to his, your hand cupping his cheek and fingertips grazing his hair. You hadn’t expected anything out of it other than the feeling of your lips on someone else’s, but you didn’t pull away. You couldn’t. Your tongues found one another every other kiss, deepening as they went. His warmth kept you glued to him, and you found yourself taking a liking to his taste of alcohol and.. mint, maybe? Definitely something with an icy, refreshing hint.

You didn’t realize how long you’d been kissing, or kissing enough times that it was leading to straight-up making out, until you heard clear hoots and whistles during the switch between songs. When you pulled away, his lips were noticeably more plump compared to earlier, and the tingling sensation on yours let you know that they probably looked the same. You bit your bottom lip as you looked around at the ones cheering you on, the corners of your mouth curling up, but you broke out into a complete grin once you saw his face.

♫

Off with your head Dance til you're dead Heads will roll Heads will roll ...

♫

You’d almost tripped over your own two feet, discreetly looking over Samson’s shoulder from left to right to make sure you were seeing things right, and the excitement you felt when they were? Unmatched. And almost as if it’d been planned, the perfect song was playing.

If he’d been giving you or Samson a death-stare, you couldn’t tell, but either way, you loved seeing the scowl on his face. His fingers tightly curled around his beer that if he did it any tighter it’d break, the hard lines on his face prominent to you even this far away. You situated yourself to the side, giving him the perfect view as you brushed your nose against Samson’s, giving him your best doe eyes before melting into his mouth again, making sure that Joel could see the smile on your lips when you broke away and went back for more.

Your body winded up as the song progressed, building up to the drop and heavy riff. The strobe lights blinked quickly enough to cause a stroboscopic effect on everyone’s movement, perceiving them to move slower than they actually were. But when you looked back at Joel, he stayed completely still, his eyes locked on you between the several bodies that separated you from him. He looked so.. menacing.. that it made you shiver and throb. A wicked grin spread on your lips.

♫

Off, off with your head! Dance, dance til you're dead!

♫

Turning around, you pressed into Samson and grinded your backside into him. His hands were off you as quickly they were on you, frowning at the absence, you spun around and saw why: Tommy, again. You’d suspected something bad from the way his gaze fell back and forth between you both and he had a strong hand on his shoulder, but were eased when Samson held up a finger to you and smiled.

As much as you wanted to dance, you also wanted another drink, the empty bottle in your hand now warm from holding it for so long. Sliding shoulders through the floor, you looked between the bar and the bathroom, choosing to make the pitstop before continuing on. Pushing in the door, you were relieved there wasn’t a line, darting into an open stall to squat and do your business. As you finished, another body entered the bathroom in heels that clicked and echoed until they stopped in front of the sink, to what you imagined was a woman checking her makeup. When you got out, you saw their reflection in the mirror– indeed they’d been checking their face, but it’d also been the woman that’d been smitten with Joel. You paid no mind to her other than your initial glance, ignoring her presence and harshly scrubbing the soap on your hands.

“That older Miller’s somethin’, ain’t he?” Your hands froze under the running water. “I only got a taste earlier, but I bet he’s real good in bed.”

The fuck does she mean she got a taste earlier?

Your face must’ve been showing too much of a reaction based on the stupid fucking smile on hers and a snobbish laugh. Not even bothering to dry off your hands with paper towel, you rubbed them against your jeans and threw the door open to leave, storming up to the bar and impatiently tapping your fingers against the wood as you waited.

Fuck her, and fuck Joel. And you know what? Fuck Tommy, too. If he hadn’t brought it to your attention, maybe you wouldn’t have seen it. Then you wouldn’t have downed one too many drinks and legitimately considered sleeping with someone as rebound off hurt feelings, and then maybe, just maybe, you wouldn’t be feeling like all kinds of fucked up right now. You blinked back the burning in your eyes. Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry over this right now.

The lights returned to their original dimness and calmed down on the strobes, allowing you to search around a bit easier for any of the three people you found yourself with most tonight, but had no luck. Samson and Tommy were out of sight, and you didn’t have the slightest idea of what he pulled Samson away for. As for Joel, he moved from the last spot you remembered him in, or was it over there? You shook your head. It didn’t take much contemplation to decide on going home, you had your fun, but it was over, and you were too far gone to spark it back up in any capacity.

You held your arms tight to your body as you embraced the cool air on the walk to Rancher Street, a fair distance from the Tipsy Bison. The lightness in your head caused you to stumble quite a bit, wishing that either your house was closer or that someone would’ve walked with you. Other times when you drank too much, though it didn’t happen very often, either Tommy or Joel were right there at your side to get you home safe, but you wanted to throw yourself in someone’s yard and pass the fuck out rather than be alone.

Stomping up the porch, you caught yourself on the doorknob last minute as you tripped, fumbling it open and pushing inside. You ungracefully dropped to your ass, tugging at the aglets of your laces in the dark until the knots came undone and kicked your shoes off. So focused on keeping yourself upright, you hadn’t noticed Joel staring at you while leaning against the entryway of the living room with his arms crossed.

“Wasn’t expecting you.” His tone was deep and flat. You scoffed as you got off the floor, face contorting as you mocked him.

“I live here, don’t I?”

“Alone, I meant.” You shook your head as you walked past him, but he grabbed your wrist and held you in place, feeling the heat of his glare on your back. “You gon’ tell me what the hell that was back there?”

You met his eyes over your shoulder. “That was me having a good time. Same as you with that lovely woman.”

“Bullshit.” He shot back. “That wasn’t the same.”

“Oh, please,” you scoffed while yanking your wrist back, turning into the kitchen and bracing yourself along the island, “s’hardly a difference.”

“Really?” He followed you, his frustration apparent in the way his jaw clenched. “‘Cause it sure looked like you were all over him tryin’ to prove somethin’.”

You pointed at yourself, “I don’t have anything to prove to anybody!” you snapped, the words coming out slow but loud, “And if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re jealous.”

His eyes darkened, slowly taking a step towards you, “I am not-”

“Then what the fuck is wrong?” You staggered around the island on the emphasis of the curse, throwing your hands up, “I didn’t do a damn thing, and you’re losing your fucking head!”

“You didn’t– Wow.” A wry laugh came out his mouth. He waved you off, his tone dripping with bitterness. “I ain’t gotta explain myself to you.”

“And neither do I!” You retorted in defiance, your arms grandly gesturing. Your cheeks were hot with anger now, more so than before. “I can do whatever the hell I want, Joel! I don’t need your fucking permission!”

He dragged a hand down his face, turning away from you before whipping around and meeting you at the end of the island, raising his voice at you. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“And you’re insufferable!” you seethed as you pushed his chest, his hands seizing your wrists, “Acting like you have some fucking claim over me when we’re not even together!”

The silence after your outburst was deafening.

His anger faltered as a flash of pain crossed his face, quickly making your own frustration subside. The hard lines on his face deepened, a slight frown and somberness settling upon it. His grip on your wrists remained firm, but there was a hint of vulnerability in his touch. You wanted to blame the alcohol for making you so mean, but it was really the floodgate of feelings that’d been repressed for far too long.

You huffed, “Joel, I-” he interrupted you by tearing his eyes away from yours and releasing your wrists.

The pang in your chest was unmistakable. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. This was the part where everything was supposed to come out, to confront the truth of your feelings, but instead he was backing away, retreating and shutting down that conversation before it could even begin. You said his name again, but he simply raised his hand and continued to walk out of the kitchen.

Fuck– No. No, no, no. Your dejection passed and your temper flared up again. No, he doesn’t get to just walk away.

“Joel!” You called out, your voice tinged with frustration and desperation, “Joel, stop!”

But he didn’t. He kept walking, putting more distance between you and fueling your determination. Your heart was pounding as you quickened your pace to catch up with him upstairs, his arm just out of reach before he slammed his door in your face. He didn’t respond when you pounded on the door and demanded for him to come out, your temper mixing between anger and hurt.

“Screw you, Joel! I’m so tired of this– whatever the fuck this is!” Your voice trembled, feeling a punch to the gut when you remembered an obnoxiously accurate point he’d made to you once before. “I-I fucked up– but people do things when they’re scared!”

Your eyes stung, and it hadn’t dawned on you yet that you were potentially jeopardizing everything by blabbering off, but you couldn’t stop now.

“I can’t- Fuck-” a ruined sigh forced itself out your lungs, your thoughts moving too fast for you to comprehend, “If you’re gonna break my heart, do it now, because I can’t-”

You didn’t know when he’d opened the door and stepped out, but you stopped your rambling as soon as you saw him. The silence fell heavy, the only sound being his boots stepping towards you until his chest was nearly touching yours and his breath fanned over your skin. Your eyes darted around his face, from his eyes, to his nose, lips, beard, and back to his eyes again. Just the slightest inch forward and you’d be touching him, the fact making you shiver and fiercely pulse between your thighs.

Your heart ached when you saw the raw emotion in his eyes– an amalgamation of sadness, yearning, lust, and tenderness– all things you grew to be familiar with when you found yourselves running in circles. You couldn’t stand the way his eyes flickered between yours and how his warm hands were slowly reaching up to cup your face. And how you could now feel his chest pressed against yours. And how his lips parted. And that fucking look on his face.

“Joel,” you quavered, “don’t..”

But he knew.

A soft, broken breath escaped you as it was all suddenly becoming too real, reaching the point of no return.

“Don’t look at me like that unless you mean it.”

His lips crashed into yours.

[lacunafiction]

Is there anything the town of Fernweh does as a community to usher in the new year? And are there any personal (or familial?) traditions that are important to the ROs that they observe/partake in each year?

Hi Anon,

I hope that your 2023 is off to a good start! 💚 I'll list some facts about the ROs and general vibes for now, though I may expand on these ideas in the future once we discover more about Fernweh community events/traditions. I'm going to focus on New Year's Eve.

Prior to the MC’s Return to Fernweh

Staying up until midnight is something B would romanticize to a degree about the importance of ‘welcoming’ a new year of possibilities, but also one of new challenges and learning experiences. It might be hard to spot; however, B is a little muted, maybe even reflective, as the hours stack up and the year rolls over to the next one. Watching the ball drop or some flashy firework display on television is likely what occupies them unless the MC roped them into a party or for them to be celebrating elsewhere. A more lowkey celebration overall, but an acknowledgment of the day. 

Ringing in the New Year is something Mrs. Dorran takes a bit seriously with chatting about resolutions or gently asking her child one thing they would like to do in the upcoming year. (She will then try to do everything in her power to make that happen; it becomes a goal for her as well.) The Dorrans will likely share dinner together before S naturally witnesses the New Year due to their night owl sleep schedule. There is a high chance that R did invite S to come out with them or at least to meet up for one drink, but the acceptance of that invitation depends on S's mood, haha. They might have somewhere else they need to be on that particular night. 👀

I wish I had that 'shots, shots, shots' gif or maybe it's a distinct sound from a song. I can hear it in my head as I type this while also imagining a few people chanting it at the afterparty to the glamorous New Years gala R attended. Their actual feelings on observing the New Year might be hard to tease out as they seamlessly navigate the room to mingle and greet a few guests in particular. (Did their mother tell them who to speak with, or did R just decide who was worth their time? Hmm.) I feel like they will have the most variable night; it will largely depend on their mood and if S met up with them. Heck, they could even run into J patrolling. Who knows what R will get into tonight. XD

Hmm, for the most part, J views it as any other day. All that matters to them is the year will now change (2022 → 2023) when they write up their next report. They are more likely to take a late night patrol on New Years Eve since fireworks, sparklers, alcohol, staying up late, and partying can be a potent mix, so they would be keeping a watchful eye on things. Any invites to a party or a dinner were turned down by them, even if A was the one making the invitation. They would prefer to forget about time passing by or slipping away; sometimes it doesn’t always register to them, but when it does, J tries to occupy themself to keep their mind from dwelling on things. 

Thank you for your ask! 

[vander-affectionate]

Oh god you scared me.

How was your week? I'm guessing it's stressful, i hope you get better soon. I'm always here if you need to talk to someone about anything. Don't go hard on yourself! If you feel like you can't write or things like that you can obviously take a break. If you don't, maybe you can write something about taking care of a stressed Vander? Idk if that would help tho😞

this ask (T-T) thank you so much for sending this sal, i appreciate it. it's been a teeny, inchie little bit stressful, but getting an ask like this in the middle of it is as a good as a glass of water. don't worry, i'll be staying hydrated and i hope you will too, thank you so much for the request because you hit the nail right on the head so without further ado...

vander gets overwhelmed and has lowkey himbo vibes because he thinks a bonk on the head might solve his overthinking, but reader is stressed too. i had complete sensory overload while writing this so i have not edited this yet. reblog, reblog, reblog, and again, thank you so much for requesting this.

Vander huffs, leaning on the bar with a tankard in hand. The bar is closing up for the night, but he's not there to do it - no, actually, you sent him in the back for the remainder of the night after things got out of hand in the Drop's busiest hour.

The tankard slams hard on the coffee table and draws his hands up his face, into his hair, and then back down so the sharp cuts of his scruff stab his fingers when he breathes too hard. He wonders how sweet words and kisses over his forehead from a refreshing morning with you had turned to a sour, bristled night ending with none other than Vander himself initiating a bar fight that you had to break up. He grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut because it's embarrassing just to think about. It's not the fact that you had to bash him across the head with a tankard to get his attention.

"Hey."

There you are, opening the door with an elbow while simultaneously attempting to wipe your hands with a counter top rag, not the ones he tells you to use. He can't even scold you when there's some weak version of a flame in his chest fueling his embarrassment. He opts for staring at the fraying couch arm instead of words.

"Bar's empty, Benzo came 'round asking if you wanted to have drinks" you sit yourself on the opposite end of the couch on the arm, leaning on the thick cushions. "Told him you were mine for tonight, that okay?"

He huffs a sound, something dryly amused because where else would he rather be than swallowed up by the comfort of his own. He wants to rot in the embarrassment he's caused himself and he cannot be more thankful for you telling Benzo he was in for the night.

Vander's half paying attention. He doesn't see the way you frown at him or the way you ease off the couch and move around it to come near until you're sitting on the coffee table with a hand on his knee. He jumps and you withdraw your touch. He's surprised by your wide eyes directed at him, rather than the unamused glare he was expecting.

That's all you do for a second, both of you stare at each other until your hand stills in the air, halfway between you two, "is it okay for me to touch you?"

Vander chews the inside of his cheek, glaring at the couch and it pains him to shake his head. He's not sure how much he can take of you tonight, you're wonderful - beyond that actually, but everything is too much and you're- he's... words are a little hard for him.

But you can see it in the way he's stiff against the couch.

"That's okay," you stand up from the coffee table and move around it.

His eyes widen and you're stopped in your tracks by his hand curled around your wrist. His brows are knitted together and his lips pressed into a thin line, his words are clipped, "Don't leave." muttering a please that breaks in his throat.

Your fingers press and brush the inside of his wrist before you lean down to kiss his arm, keeping his gaze all the while, "I'm right here, Vander. I'm sitting over there, is that okay?"

His eyes flickers to the chair you've gestured to and you see his nose wrinkle. His features soften when he sees the upturn of your lips and he releases your hand, relaxing back into the couch cushions and watching you curl into a ball in the arm chair on his right that's too big for you. You're a vision of comfort and he leans his head back into the cushions while you both stare.

"Sorry about hitting you over the head," you prod the area on your head in the spot you clocked him earlier.

He shrugs, "Nothin' I didn't deserve."

Vander watches you curl your legs underneath yourself as you lean on the arm, closer to him. He turns his gaze because he doesn't want you seeing these feelings rearing their ugly heads. He needed that hit, he's convinced himself it helped calm him down and squints as he considers a second might be the hearty cool down he's missing.

"They really got to you tonight," your voice is still soft and he wants it to grate a nerve in him. He wants you to give him a reason to be angry at himself for his outburst tonight, but when he glances over at you he can't be.

Your cheek is squished against the frayed armchair upholstery and your eyes seem more like doe eyes than they ever have when you're staring up at him like he's hung the moon. He glances away and sees your mouth curl up and he wonders if you're deliriously believing he's hung the stars. Your eyes crinkle when your lips push into your cheeks and he swallows, maybe you're playing tricks on his heart.

"Why're y'stressed?" your nonchalance grates something in him and he throws his arms into the air and kicks the coffee table with the toe of his boot.

"Cause!" he snips, "It's pilin' up, shits been falling apart, the tankards need replacing, and I threw a couple of folks half way up the piltover bridge-" he rounds on you with fire in his eyes and he's standing to his full height across the room, kicking the fallen tankard and turning his back to you so he can run his hands through his hair. He swears up and down at everything including the fallen tankard to the accident he had when he cut his jaw shaving this morning.

"I'm exhausted and, I..."

He leans his head against the wall, away from you, and you sigh. He bites his lip and quietly scolds himself because he's being selfish, you're tired too and here he is complaining about all of this. He turns around, an apology on his tongue, but he doesn't get to face you because there's a cheek on his back.

He tenses and lifts a leg to see your socked feet behind his boots. You hadn't made a sound nor do you when you meet his eyes when he raises his arm and awkwardly bends his head to catch your gaze.

"Thank you for telling me." you offer yet another smile and it's only now that he can spot the droop to your eyes.

His lips part and that heated frustration in his chest, releases and unfurls seeing your kind smiles, "I've been stressed too. Thought I was the only one."

Vander turns around and cups your face in his hands, he rubs his fingers beneath your eyes that are only slightly sunken in because he forgets that keeping the bar open for an hour later doesn't only take its toll on him. You lean into the warm palms that cup your face and sigh, nuzzling your nose into their center and he draws you close, if only to let you curl against his chest and he watches you fully melt into him. Your shoulders sink and your fists curl into the fabric of his shirt. You shiver when his palm draws down the length of your back and he finds himself wrapping himself in you when he dips his head to bury his face in your neck. He pulls you off of your feet if only to keep you pressed to him and inhale your scent.

"I'm stressed too," he reiterates. Fingers press into your back, massaging and rolling the muscles there until you're moulding against him and nothing but an extension of himself when he moves the two of you to lie down on the couch, you ontop of him.

"You're not alone, Vander." you tilt your head up and stroke across his jaw, if only to get his attention and he melts into you, sighing and rolling you on your side so you're pressed to the cushions and his chest.

He presses his lips to your temple and rests there, sighing and curling his arms around your waist while you kiss whatever you can reach, his shoulder, his collar, and his neck. He nuzzles further into you and squeezes you in his ars.

"I know."

[heylabodega]

I took the week off, because I've been hitting burnout -- I can feel the thoughts dribbling out of the holes in my brain as I try to write or even schedule meetings -- and because my boss lowkey made me, but I can't afford to go anywhere so I've kind of been dreading the routine I know myself enough to know I'd fall into, of waking up at 10am, not getting moving til 11 or 12, and getting nothing done, fun or otherwise. But I find myself a little at loose ends, a little head empty and nothing to do without work, and that's not good. Reminder to myself that we take time off so that we have things to fill our non-work time.

Last week I cleaned my room (sort of) because Sarah was coming over. And the weather is good this week. So I'm slowly easing into days off. Wake up and luxuriate in the brightness of clear floors and clear skies. Get my iced latte. Listen to music. Put on a lounging around outfit that makes me look and feel like a 90s romcom protagonist. Pack up my running stuff to coach tonight, and maybe I'll go into the city a little early and leave it in a locker and go to a gallery before. Plan a fully indulgent day for tomorrow when I don't have to coach. Read something. Pick some books to send to my brother. Figure out what to think about besides [redacted]'s upcoming speaking engagements and the comms plan for [redacted]. Reminder to myself that liking my job doesn't have to mean it's the only thing I like. Figure some stuff out.

[the-midnight-in-me]

Ember's got a lot to say, today.

Phone was deliberately turned off all weekend because mom has a habit of trying to start shit in December so that she gets her melodrama fix for the holidays.

She already tried to start a fight with me during my Dad's birthday. The classic 'my subjective perception of your tone when you said this one word was problematic so now I'm going to go into wounded animal mode for a solid hour' routine. Shiver kicked in and I just stayed put and pretended I didn't hear or notice her ""hushed"" ranting about me in the kitchen. Because she was looking for a reason to be angry and doing literally anything would have just fed into it.

My birthday is another prime target for her nonsense, and after last year--where she talked me into going out for a meal only for her to stand me up and then lash out at me for daring to be upset--I wanted to protect my peace of mind as much as I possibly could.

So when they showed up out of the blue yesterday, I dove into the bathroom to take a shower to leave myself an alibi as to why I didn't answer the door.

They were gone by the time I got out and they'd left a cake and a card near my front step.

The cake went straight into the trash because Mom has a history of spitting/leaving loogies in food she's preparing for someone she's angry at. I didn't trust it.

The message on the card felt like a jab given some of what she said about me on Dad's birthday. And of course there was a check in it, so she can monitor if I cash it or not. I voided it and plan on shredding it with my junk mail. Or maybe I'll burn it...that sounds cathartic.

And note the little manipulative weaponization of Dad's [alleged] feelings tacked on the end. Classic.

This is what narcissistic abuse can look like. Subtle and insidious and chronic.

Between her comment about me "trying to ruin my father's birthday" a couple weeks ago and dragging him along to show off her grand gestures of shoving a cake and money and her company at me without asking me for any input or even if I had other plans only to be ""rejected""--I wonder if the goal here is to turn Dad against me--or just to "recruit" him to "her side".

And you know what? As much as it would hurt if he falls for that, the silver lining is I'd no longer have any reason not to cut her off completely.

UPDATE: received a text from my 70 year old "dad" at 11:15pm lowkey accusing me of shit. So I'm definitely showing him that on Christmas (assuming i even go. I certainly don't want to at this point) and asking him if she's texting people as him like she used to write nasty grams to people and sign them under his name. This woman is unbelievable. UPDATE 2: Gram called tonight; apparently a lady at mom's church told gram that my mom was showing off/talking about that dumb cake with a bunch of people there who don't even know me. How many licks does it take to get to the fact that the cake wasn't made for my sake? Let's find out~ 🙄🙄🙄

[bylightofdawn]

My ADD has been superbad tonight. I want to keep working on this fic but it's 1am. And I just realized this is Seeds posting week and i Have not even STARTED on editing.

Also? Tomorrow my PS5 is going to be delivered so there's like a zero percent chance this chapter is getting posted tomorrow. Which....whatever so long as it goes up sometime this week.

And I hate to say this without sounding like a whiny, insecure little bitch but I feel like no one is even reading this fic and I've literally wasted six months of my life working on it. It's too niche, I'm just not a good enough or engaging writer. Trust me, I have gone through the gamut of self-doubt and self-criticism.

It's just bullshit brain noise and I'm trying to filter it out. But some weeks are harder than others. I'm going to post a chapter this week if only to keep myself accountable. And even if it feels like I am just screaming into the void and no one is listening or cares to scream back, I'll keep posting on the off-chance someone actually is reading it. And it's because I know there's at least one person out there who is consuming what I'm writing, I'm going to keep going. I know it's been beaten to death but comments and interaction with a creative work can literally be the life or death of that work. That's why people rail about tumblr likes or AO3 kudos. It's cool and thank you for reading to the bottom of my fic or liking some fanartists artwork but creative types repeatedly say comments are their life blood. And they will literally rip their heart out and give it to you on a platter if you leave some detailed, analytical comment on why you liked such and such fic.

Ugh I'm rambling and am so tired I'm prolly coming across all wrong so forgive me if I am. It's 1am gremlin El hour but the only gremlin energy I have is to crawl into bed.

Tomorrow Im going to do my best to try and maybe finish this Cody and Slick fic and then I am going to try and edit Seeds on Friday or Sat. By Sunday I want to be done with this fic so I can move onto something else.

I AM lowkey a little worried about how I've kinda been dancing with other ideas. This Cody Slick fic was supposed to be a creative reboot and it's worked in a lot of ways. But I really want to write that Wedge Luke 5+1 fic after this. I think I'm going to force myself to go back to Seeds afterwards and push myself to finish it.