#maybe i’m dumbass but ​i feel like the ‘there is no such thing as machine crochet’ thing is probably misinformation lol

[jenny-dreadful]

.

[drefear]

Tears Don't Fall (Bullet For My Valentine)

Let's go!

Katsuki Bakugou loved his wife more than anything. More than everything. So why? 

Why did he do that? 

Now she was on the ground of their home, their penthouse. Being a pro hero had given him the world, but she was his world and he did everything he could for her. Gave her diamonds and lavish clothing, spa trips and vacations. And in return, she had been loyal, given him two beautiful children and a lifetime of happiness. 

Why did he do that? 

He had no idea, but she was broken. He had broken her. Done the worst thing he could have possibly done and gotten caught. 

On a national fucking television site.

It was weeks ago, but it was just so much. A villain had targeted the school his kids went to and he didn’t get there until Midorya and Todoroki had, already working on getting survivors and victims out. He was lucky, his kids knew precautions and he had trained them on what to do, so they’d gotten out. 

But Midoriya’s… they weren’t as lucky. Midoriya had three, another on the way, and his middle child had gotten stuck between a falling piece of fire and a wall. 

Bakugou couldn’t stop playing Midorya’s face over and over again. He felt responsible for some reason, maybe if he’d gotten there on time then they’d have had enough hands to save all of those kids. Now he was on those stupid tubes and machines and Bakugou was crying at his desk. As he wrote the paperwork, his eyes wouldn’t stop smudging the black on his face. The only thing he wanted to do was hold his kids close at that moment. Hold his wife. 

With bloodshot eyes, I watch you sleeping The warmth I feel beside me is slowly fading Would she hear me if I called her name? Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

But he was stuck in this stupid fucking office, and when the secretary knocked on the door, he lost all restraint. Grabbed the edge of the desk, he flipped it and she shrieked. He quickly regained control and slammed the door shut, knowing it wouldn’t look good if his anger got out. He’d worked too hard to get that under control since high school, he wouldn’t let it get him now. 

And then she was close to him. That tiny stupid blonde that always fucked up his lunch. She didn’t make it like his perfect wife. 

But his hands were too shaky. He couldn’t sign what she had for him, he couldn’t see straight, he couldn’t-

He couldn’t push her away when she kissed him. He couldn’t stop when she touched him, held him. 

He needed comfort and he couldn’t stop anymore, he was too far gone, too high strung. 

There's always something different going wrong The path I walk's in the wrong direction There's always someone fucking hanging on Can anybody help me make things better?

A week later, a call came in through the telecoms of his office. 

“You have one week to get me 2 million dollars or that video plays on youtube.” His hands felt shaky again, and this time it wasn’t rage. It was fear. 

“I’ll have it to you in an hour, delete it immediately.” He said instantly. 

“An hour? Maybe I’m making this a bit too easy. How about 20?” 

“Do you want the money or for me to be scared? Because congrats, dumbass you did it. Delete it.” Bakugou was straining to not break the tiny office phone in his hands. His chest was heaving. 

“I want you to feel pain like I have. I want you to lose something.” 

Bakugou knew it. It was a sudden realization but he knew it. 

“Don’t. Please.” he begged and the laughter that came through was loud, strained. Insane. 

“Cmon now, Ground Zero! Don’t be so boring, you’re usually the life of the party!” 

Bakugou knew it would end with that stupid tape being public, but he didn’t think it would be this bad. 

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home Your tears don't fall, they crash around me Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home

He saw it first when he was walking on patrol, someone glaring at him. He shrugged it off. Heroes were a controversial topic for everyone, he chalked it up to just that. He continued until he heard sounds. Pornigraphic sounds. Playing from that same person’s phone, he approached them. 

“Hey, you can’t be playing that shit-” 

“Ugh! Mr. Bakugou!” The phone sound rang out and his eyes fell to the screen they were previously looking at. It was a stupid little pink phone case, but he was on screen. And so was that blonde.  And he was running. Fast. He had to tell her before she found out like this. God, he knew he fucked up, he knew this was it, but he couldn’t let her find out from a fucking TMZ video.

The moments die, I hear no screaming The visions left inside me are slowly fading Would she hear me if I called her name? Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

Getting back to his office, he saw the blonde and sneered at her, then realizing she was bawling her eyes out. She must have seen, she was probably embarrassed. Young, dumb, she wasn’t in a good position either. He didn’t have time for her. He had to get home. Bakugou grabbed his clothing and bolted for his car. 

He sped. He didn’t care. His world was crumbling and he needed to at least make sure one last piece wasn’t completely shattered. The only piece that mattered to him.

There's always something different going wrong The path I walk's in the wrong direction There's always someone fucking hanging on Can anybody help me make things better?

When he got home, he recognized Midoriya’s car and rushed to the top floor, his home. “DEKU!” He shouted and looked around after bursting through the door, seeing Izuku standing casually dressed in his kitchen with his children in their pajamas. He was holding some food and his kids ran to Bakugou. 

“Daddy!” They smiled and hugged him, as he bent down to hold them back, but his eyes never left Izuku’s. And Izuku’s were just as focused, shooting daggers at him. He deserved it, but he needed her right now. 

“Go to your rooms, bratz.” He chidded and patted their backs as they went off, Izuku tucking one hand in his pocket. They stood in silence and then Bakugou heard it. 

Ururaka’s voice, Momo’s consoling, and his wife’s cries. A part of him was crushed, turned to dust that instant. He was too late. Again. His fists shook by his sides and then raked through his blonde spikey hair.

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home

“Deku-”

“Just go. Go in there and look at what you did for yourself.” Izuku leaned back against the counter and looked at the ground. “Ochaco and I are taking the kids tonight. They don’t need to see this.” And with that, he headed towards Bakugou’s kid’s rooms. Bakugou couldn’t even speak, his throat was dry. 

And his feet moved towards his bedroom door. His body shuddered, tears already streaming down his eyes. Knocking at the door, Momo was the first to answer. She opened it and stared at him for a second, then moving aside and walking out of the room. 

“Ururaka, let’s go. It’s time.” Momo’s voice was quiet. Bakugou didn’t move as the women brushed past him without a glance, then hearing his kids leaving with the three other pro heroes. 

Once the door shut, he felt empty. It was time to face her. Face his mistakes, and own it. And accept her choice. 

He opened the door a crack and saw his greatest fear.

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home

She was in a ball on the floor, still as beautiful and perfect as the day they met, but this time, heartbroken and small. Her hair was a knotted mess, clothes stained with tears, hugging her knees to her chest. She was holding something, but he couldn’t make it out in the dark. 

He made small steps towards her and got on his knees before her, just grabbing her and holding her close. He didn’t know if he would ever get to again. 

This battered room I've seen before The broken bones they heal no more, no more With my last breath I'm choking Will this ever end? I'm hoping My world is over one more time

“I’m sorry… I’m so fucking sorry…” He whispered over and over and over, her whimpering the only other sound. A moment of this and then her cries roared, like she was being tortured, and he flinched. His own tears were blurring everything for him, but he wasn’t going to stop trying. Not now, not ever. “Please, baby… please. I love you, I swear, I was just distracted and I couldn’t get to you, and I was guilty about Midoriya and I just wanted to get home and see you, but then she walked it and I lost it, I lost it-” He was rambling, much like that damn nerd, but not about quirks, about his own fucking mistakes. 

A crack sounded out through the room, echoing off the walls. His face was sore, her hand leaving a red imprint on his cheek. He stared at her and her face was a combination of horrified and sad beyond comparison. He just closed his eyes and sniffled. 

“Do it again.” 

“What?” She whispered. 

“Do it until you feel it’s just. Hit me, kick me, punch me, I don’t care, just don’t- don’t stop loving me.” His eyes went back to hers and her body crumbled under his. Her hands fell against his chest weakly and her eyes closed again, his hands moving to cradle her head.  “I- I can’t…” She answered and Bakugou felt happiness for a split second before her next words ruined it. “I’m trying to… But I can’t.” 

Would she hear me if I called her name? Would she hold me if she knew my shame?

His world was over, nothing mattered, and whoever took that video was going to die.  “C-Carry me to the shower… please… I can’t walk and I just- I just want to-”

“Shhh I got it.” He answered and picked her up as she asked, carrying her to the bathroom and sitting her on the tub. He saw what was in her hands now. It was his tie from their wedding night, and his heart ached again. He began to help her undress, seeing the bags under her eyes and how red and puffy they were from her salty tears, lips dry and split from crying. Her hair looked like she’d run her fingers through a million times, almost painfully so. He hated seeing her like this, not when a month ago, they were planning their ten year anniversary. She was like a doll, so small and fragile right now, porcelain in his big, calloused hands. Her body looked hollowed, like she hadn't eaten yet that day. He stayed quiet, turning on the water and feeling it until it was her comfortable level of warmth.

There's always something different going wrong The path I walk's in the wrong direction There's always someone fucking hanging on Can anybody help me make things better?

After a moment, he lifted her and let her settle in, moving to let her relax in peace. But something caught his hand, and he looked back down at the fragile woman in the tub. 

“Please… come in with me… I don’t want to be alone right now… I-I don’t have… the strength.” She mumbled and he sucked in a breath, pain surging through his veins. He hated this, but he would do anything she wanted. Forever. 

Removing his shirt, he felt the stress of the day hit him, muscles sore from work and then this all. He moved and took off his pants and underwear, shifting his weight and finally stepping in. He slid her forward slightly to sit her between his legs so he could hold her, cradle her as best he could. 

He felt her lean back and his hands moved to touch her skin, massage the ache she must have been having from sitting on the floor in a ball. He pushed the image away as he focused on kneading the woman’s tension. A comfortable sigh left her and he felt a swell of relief inside of him. This was… good, to say the least. They weren’t fighting, she didn’t hate him, and he was seeming to do almost everything right. He leaned his forehead to her temple and let his eyes close, feeling her reciprocate and nuzzle in closer. 

“Forgive me…” he whispered, “please… I can’t live without you.” 

“Katsuki…” Her voice cracked as she said his name, his hand brushing the wet hair stuck to her face behind her ear. “I want to… I do…” 

“Then I’ll do whatever it takes to fix this, to get you back, to keep you with me…” he answered, the rasp in his voice always soothing her, reminding her who she was talking to. “I love you too much to let myself ruin this…” She nodded at his words and he left a kiss on her temple, where his forehead had been, while a tear rolled down his cheek. 

After a bit of just silence in the bathtub, he got them both out and dry, then helped her change into pajamas and brushed her hair. He’d take care of her, make sure she didn’t do anything for herself. After that, he went to the kitchen and called his office.

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home (tears don't fall) Your tears don't fall, they crash around me (conscience calls) Her conscience calls, the guilty to come

“I’m taking two weeks off. Fire the girl, make sure my next assistant is a man. Cancel everything in my calendar for the next few weeks. My phone is going off and it’s not turning back on until I get back. Understood?” 

“Bakugou,” he heard Sero’s voice, then a sigh and Kirirshima in the background, “do what you gotta do man, just don’t fuck it up again.” 

“Get her back, and man up to it, dude. I believe in you.” Kirirshima spoke after the other and there was a second of quiet. 

“Thank you guys. I owe you one for this. Really.” His grip on his cellphone tightened as he spoke and he knew they didn’t know how to react to his sensitive side. Only she did. “I’ve got to go.” He hung up and grabbed water and her favorite snack, chips and ketchup. It was so weird and gross and unnatural to him, but she loved it and he loved it because she loved it.

Going back into the bedroom, he put down the water and the bowl of chips, sitting across from her. 

“You need to eat something.” 

“I’m not hungry.” She whispered. 

“No, you’re depressed because I’m an ass, take one bite and I promise you’ll realize how hungry you are.” One bite turned into three into ten into the bowl, and soon it was empty. He brought it to the kitchen and went back to her, standing next to the bed. “I think- maybe I should sleep in the guest room.” 

“But… I’ll get cold…” she mumbled, “I mean, I just- I haven’t slept alone… in almost ten years…” His heart was jumping with joy. Holy shit, this was good. He nodded and moved to get in next to her. 

“I won’t touch you unless you-“ 

“Shut up, Katsuki.” She finally spoke directly and with volume, “just shut up.” And she pulled him close, head on his chest as she grabbed the light remote and hit a button, putting them in the pitch back darkness. He was stiff, a bit scared to move. His wife had never been a direct person, so gentle with her words and actions, but this made her really toughen up and set him straight. He relaxed and left a hand on her head, petting her hair and soon she was asleep. 

Your tears don't fall, they crash around me (conscience calls) Her conscience calls, the guilty to come home

Bakugou didn’t sleep at all. He was watching her the whole time, admiring her, praying that this would never end. And when she mumbled his name in her sleep and pulled him tighter to her, he knew. He would do everything for her. There was nothing in this world that could keep him from her, and he would make damn sure of that forever more. 

[dollible]

You’re the last one left, and you won’t be for long.

There’s blood on your hands from when you axed Choi in the face—fuck, fuck, his blood on your hands—and both sides of his head just smiled at you. You bar the storage door behind you as best as you could. In your arms, pins and needles are coming on. An odd sort of numbness spreading in the skin.

You groan in frustration, thump your face against the bulkhead. Is this how it ends? Are you just gonna… fade? Eaten away from the inside? You wince. Get up. Get the pliers out and hobble over to the shelves, to a crate nailed shut.

And then you startle and drop the tool as you hear an almost comically domestic knock on the door. Shave-and-a-haircut. “Seven hells,” you whisper and slide down with your back to the shelves. You can’t deal with this.

A lively voice answers from the other side of a bulletproof wall.

“Nothing so grim, dumbass. Just me.”

You hear a muffled sound from the hallway. Is she- is it sitting down in the same spot, its back to yours? You glance back, but only see the metallic gray of steel.

“Quit stalling, asshole. You don’t have much time. You don’t want to be alone.”

“Yes I do!” you half-shout, but the monster’s right. You squeeze your hand, and find you can barely make a fist. “… stop it.”

The thing behind the wall mimics confusion. “Stop what?”

“This. You’re not- not Quinn.” Your dead colleague’s name feels sour on your tongue.

To give it credit, it sits quiet for a second. Your head swims a little. Pins and needles and needles and pins and stars it hurts.

“Maybe I’m not. Maybe not anymore.”

It stands up, steps to the door. You clamber on your feet and back to the crate.

“I prefer to think I’m so much more now.”

It fiddles with the handle, traces its fingers around the doorframe.

“I was me, and it hurt, and then it didn’t, and I felt myself break and dissolve within something much greater.”

You pop the lid off and reach inside. The door creaks.

The metal groans, the floor trembles, and you turn around with the flamethrower in your shaking hands to the sight of not-Quinn standing in the yawning hole that used to be the doorway. She looks different. No longer exhausted. There’s a twinkle in her eyes. A pep in her step.

The thing behind her eyes is wearing her and her clothes with laxity. Not unkempt, but… uninhibited. Her shirt is only buttoned halfway. Her stance is confident, and there’s a bit too many teeth in her smile. Still, her mannerisms so achingly familiar.

“And yet, here I am.”

You try to aim the weapon at her and only falter a little. That’s something, considering you can’t feel your fingers anymore. “Stay the fuck back.”

“Or what, sunshine?” she smiles at you without a hint of malice, steps forward, leans her elbow on the shelf. “Burn me? Choi tried. Didn’t work.”

She steps forward, and you back, the nozzle swaying to the side. You look her in the eyes, at those inky pools and the something moving just behind, and feel yourself get dragged deep in the vast abyss.

“Drop it,” she probably says.

A vision of a stranger’s life, an alien life, flashes at you. A myriad of stars connected in a pulsing patchwork, like dewdrops on a spiderweb. Spiraling towards the center. Dancing in one circle. Draining into a single hungry maw.

You come to on the floor in cold sweat. Her arms are wrapped tight around you. Her all-black eyes inches from your face. Electric shocks travel through your nervous system, and your legs buckle and kick.

You feel smugness radiating from her. Anticipation.

Hunger.

She pulls you into a kiss, and slides down your throat. You taste iron, machine oil, acid. Your throat bulges out. You moan, and are silenced by a will much greater than yours.

“Sshhh. I won’t lie, it will hurt.”

She speaks without breaking the kiss, with the intruder still worming deeper, bypassing your gag reflex, tickling your stomach now.

“But you won’t go through it alone. All of Us are here with you.”

Your eyes roll backwards into your skull. The sounds get muffled. Not her speech, though. There’s ringing in your ears, getting louder and louder.

“You’ll make a great toy for me.”

Something shifts behind your eyes, and everything goes dark.

“And I am going to savor this.” ∎

[keirawantstocry]

your page made me hyperfixate on morning crew polycule and on the topic of hyperfixating, maybe a little fic about Tubbo or Pac hyperfixating on a thing like a project that they forget to take care of themselves? Can be fluff or angst i don't mind :) -✉️

hiiiiiii im so glad ive infected you with the brain rot

Pac wasn’t sure how long they had been working. It seemed like he had been at Tubbo’s since he woke up but the exact time was unclear. They had been working for at least an hour because Tubbo had proposed that they try and figure out a way to expand the amount of kinetic stress the drill could take without using a water wheel or generator. His stomach growled and he looked down at it in confusion. Hadn’t he just eaten? Surely he had grabbed breakfast before joining Tubbo. “Did I eat breakfast?” he said out loud and Tubbo turned away from the machine to look up at him. “No, you said you would grab something for lunch.” “Oh. Is it lunch time? I feel like I’m hungry enough for it to be lunch time.” Tubbo stood, wiping his hands on his pants before glancing at his watch. “Ah,” he said in a strained voice. “It's midnight.” “EXCUSE ME?” At that exact moment, the door swung open on both of them and Fit stepped inside with a large backpack in his hands. He smiled gently at the both of them and their surprised faces. “Let me guess. You guys just realized that you’ve been working for hours and hours because you’re incredibly hungry?” Pac laughed lightly as his stomach growled. “Sim, Fitchie.” He lifted the backpack higher. “Good thing I brought this then.” Soon they were finally sat down, all cross legged on the floor with an absolute feast in front of them. “Did you make all of this?” Tubbo asked as Pac dug in. “I did,” Fit said proudly. Tubbo leaned in to give him a quick peck on the cheek before diving into the food. “Thank you.” “Sim. sim, obrigado, Fitch,” Pac said once he swallowed. “You’re so good to us.” He waved him off, a light blush blooming on his cheeks. “Oh stop. It’s nothing. Honestly.” His face softened. “It’s my honor to take care of you two dumbasses when you forget to.”

[snackugaki]

Originally posted as a reblog

but! now with more speedrun run-on sentence speculationing because I have ✨A Problem™✨

hokay. so. here’s the earth. I don’t really go there, it’s not my jurisdiction, my dvd region or IP address but I know you gotta have your control group and experimental groups, so. do I know if splinter and the boys should actually be referred to the as the control group? hahahahha-- no, not at all. but no scientist is over my shoulder to check my work so moving on.

April’s dad probably tried to go an ethics board or OSHA or whatever for Sacks’ bullshit, didn’t get anywhere so took shit into his own hands ‘cuz I guess fuck them animals-- doesn’t matter April Hogosha O’Neil saves Splinter and the boys. Lab’s ruined, Sacks is out (supposedly) one big-ass container of ooze. now a person with their shit together would have gathered the information in order to proceed to the next point.

but.

ha!  anyway. Sadsack kills April’s dad, and probably has a tiff and a half with Shredder about the lab destruction. Shredder probably got maaaad, like you’re his student and you got your whole shit destroyed in a fire? embarrassing. anyway, Shredder’s shrewd as fuck, keeps Sadsack on to do his little science things but now monitored. heavily. i’mma pretend the experimental groups were housed in a different building and thus spared the control group’s fiery “death”. Shredder’s a hoarder with a sunk-cost fallacy complex and probably kept those going under a different team. Sadsack wasn’t notified because a) Shredder can’t trust him with nothing apparently 2) if he did know, he’s the kind of arrogant prick to be all “do not sully my mind with subgrade projects wah wah, my dumbass likes to pretend I’m so calculating but a nerd with a lighter ruined like x years of research”

turns out those experimental groups became something, wow. I’d feel like in terms of testing out multiple variations of the formula, venus and jennika had the least, then slash, then tokka and rahzar. and just ‘cuz all this was started by being tagged in someone’s ask... I feel like maybe Mona and Leatherhead were an extra test group tacked onto the roster after seeing Venus and Jennika gain sentience and gorgeous cheekbones. ‘cuz if that happened, “wouldn’t it be dope if we got a komodo dragon (instead of a salamander, or maybe some Jurassic Park shit and splicing that salamander into a komodo dragon lol y not) and an alligator to do a backflip while throwing a knife?”

anyway, everyone’s gaining sentience like a tiktok dance trend, Venus and Jennika get carted away from the Foot scientists to train. for how long? until what age? i dunno, whatever’ll endear them most to the grandpa character I’d have them meet in Chinatown after they decide to go rogue. but backtracking, they get some training in before plot shenanigans and hey, they should go to nyc because “we have a branch of the Foot Clan there, USDA, FDA, NBA, CIA, FBI are too nosy so we’ll ship our more containment breachy subjects to japan or whereever we can keep thing until we can introduce them in later movies that’d happen in a brighter timeline.”

so like, first of all, you can’t tell kids nothing, and the Foot were the dumbasses who decided to teach teenage girls paramilitarized ninjutsu ig idk how the Foot was supposed to be in the bay movies. Sites say it’s a paramilitary group started by Sacks’n Shredder, Shredder talks as if it’s a reincarnation of the ninja Foot Clan so.... whatevs, my daughters learn ninjutsu. and they’re being shipped off to nyc. and because you can’t keep humanity down Venus and Jennika’s “trainers” didn’t depersonalize them like they were supposed to, and look, they’ve got personalities now. they have hobbies. you ruined a perfectly good killing machine is what you did. 

and ‘cuz teenage girls are the most unstoppable force on this planet, they break out mid-shipment and enter nyc on their own terms. bright, shiny nyc to girls who can turn your guts into confetti. amazing, perfect. just gonna glide over unnecessary shit and just assume they slipped through NYC like Leo did in the Mutanimal base in the IDW run (which, I have to give that couple of pages its flowers, that was the most real life ninja shit I’ve ever seen in a TMNT comic in my accessible memory bravo) cue nyc tourist montage. my girls are not above swiping shit directly off of people, so they have a great time. they grab beef patties and chopped cheeses, like 20 little blue cups of nyc joe, they swipe I <3 NY shirts that they can kinda fit in (good luck fitting into that shit when you’re older babes)

they wind up in Chinatown (clikkit is2g) did a great job of flying under human radar and oops, not this one old man. lucky for my daughters they’re lucky (plotwise) and lucky (symbolically), that Old Man Chung offers them refuge, cue bonding montage, aww, an old man scuttling after rambunctious freshly adopted daughters. Grandpa Chung has a traditional medicine shop, let’s say Brooklyn’s Chinatown in Sunset Park just like in my tmnt au  and Venus learns his trade and branches off from there, they hang out with the Tai Chi uncles and aunties on Sundays and then, oh no! purple dragons!

cue the City At War arc which would’ve worked wonderfully with the bay movies (as a little entree before krang comes back “stronger”), worth at least two extra movies, Bay could blow up as many luxury brand cars as his widdle hearty-wearty desires with them. ....shit that would have been so fucking cool.

anyway, blah blah, City At War adaptation, everyone’s fighting, shit’s getting confusing-- bam! turtle on turtle violence then reconciliation then sick-ass group hero shot and bad guys just getting shellshocked left’n right. turtle chaos. Leo and Raph absolutely mandatorily must get dunked on. it’s in my contract. donnie and mikey are fine. Venus won’t even fight Donnie too much on the science/’magic’ shit because she figured out where he keeps the pop tarts and just ‘cuz bay Donnie seems too chill and level-headed to get worked up about the whole “wuh bUt mAgiC hAs No sCieNtiFiC bAaAaAsiS baa baa baa” but probably asks why Venus collects so many discarded crystal rocks, “.. sometimes rock shiny, rock nice! most important... rock projectile weapon, hhgkh!!” 

thank you, this has been my TMNTTedTalk.

[an-au-blog]

Thinking about Shuggy college au and got to thinking about the relative ages of other characters and now I’m thinking of end of High school aged Frobin. Robin is that loner goth girl turned popular goth girl that is still seen as a bit odd but she’s smart and helpful and has a slightly morbid sense of humor that just endears her to her classmates. Franky is that loud jock who comes to school in way too short shorts even when the weather doesn’t permit for it. You’d think he’s a huge dumbass from the way he acts sometimes but he actually knows a lot of stuff and gets decent grades and is pretty nifty with machines (Also sometimes babysitting his kid neighbor Usopp and teaching him how to not hit his thumb with a hammer). Both of them having this kind of „end of a slow burn“ relationship where Franky is trying to gather his nerves and tell his long term friend that he has feelings for her and it’s completely fine if she doesn’t, but also she’s going to move to college after the end of this school year and he’s afraid about what that means for them and not to mention he’s „smart“ but Robin is like „SMART smart“ and is going to study history and oh GOD what if this is the thing that makes them loose contact and Oh god, oh no, oh fuck.

… probably ends with her just spontaneously taking his hand and asking HIM out, completely oblivious that he has been fretting over this for almost an entire school year. Just felt like the right thing to do to her. A decision she made right that moment.

I... I never really calculated her years in the college au and at first I thought, pft, she won't be that old but then... like she IS around 10/11 years older than Luffy and assuming he's around 5/6 she'd be in her last years of school omg D:' I'm supposed to be good at math how did I not see this???

Also you have no idea how happy I am, this is my first frobin ask I was so happy when I saw it and then my happiness doubled because it's the college au hahaha :')

If I haven't given you a name, can I call you Franon? Or Fronan?? (haha cuz frobin + anon...)

(Edit: by the time I was halfway through writing this post, I realized I've written an entire subplot lol':))

Robin is definitely that weird kid in school that's a bit too smart for her own good and most teachers just think she's a smartass. The type that even though she moved schools and now she's pretty (and still a bit weird, just hides it better), she still has the outcast mentality. She doesn't know how to be herself and she definitely doesn't know what to do, react or even comprehend that someone wants to be friends with her. Let alone to be interested in her romantically.

Franky on the other hand is so outgoing because he's so weird. People will see him in a blizzard in his short shorts and sunglasses and go "how the heck are you not cold". He'd respond with "oh, I'm freezing! I have a parka and two cotton shirts under there!" and people would laugh along. The type to high-five and greet random people he's talked to once as if they've been friends for ages. I feel like he'd also kinda be the class clown but in a somewhat respectful way. There's a meme about someone calling Prometheus a mad lad and then Hermes a Chad, and I feel like that would be his vibe.

Also, I'm sorry Fronan/Franon, but I'm absolutely stealing the idea that Franky babysits Usopp and they have fun arts and crafts type of bonding. He'll need it for the stuff I've been planning for him and Yasopp >:]]]

Everyone assumes he's a moron, but it's until Robin sees him in one of his extracurricular advanced classes that she realizes he's not only smart but funny and fun to be around. It turns out that they also have a lot in common and quickly become friends.

Also him overthinking it and her asking him out is so on brand imo and I absolutely love it. And maybe here comes into play the fact that he's so friendly with everyone so he automatically assumes people like him so he doesn't know what signs for romantic feelings look like? And how she doesn't think anyone could like her in that way? I can imagine him trying to talk himself out of it because she's going places and what could he give her to make her be with him anyway. While she's sitting next to him already planning a schedule for their talks for their long distance relationship.

And of course, their long distance relationship works very well. They both love each other so much they try their best to have at least two or three nights to talk. In fact, their relationship has a very strong foundation of getting to know each other because of the physical separation.

Or so I'd like to think hehe :')

[poor-impulsecontrol]

i don’t understand why anybody wouldn’t be nice to you- you’re as deserving of kindness as everyone else!

i don’t want anything from you, i- i just wanna talk. you’re interesting, you’re fun to talk to and ramble to and ask questions to!

am I overstepping?

uh— what’s your favorite movie right now? when you go to movie theaters, what kinda snacks do you get? i sneak stuff in , personally. minus the popcorn! i mix my own M&M’s with movie theater popcorn- it’s really good!

saying the wrong thing?

what’s your favorite candy? do you chew gum? OOH! do you like arcades? rhythm games? claw machines? do you have any stuffed animals? i like arcades. the atmosphere is so fun!!! :-D

being too much?

if you think i know who i am, you can guess! the worst that happens is that you’re wrong and I tell you who I am, silly goose!! I’m not gonna get mad and I’m not gonna embarrass you!

i’m sorry.

- i bet bugs think you’re real neat, 🐜🐜!!!

people aren't nice to me because i deserve it. i'm not a good person.

favourite movie right now? uh...probably...the new terrifier film that just came out. it's one of the few movies i can watch without disassociating, because it's so gorey. i don't go to movie theatres, i pirate everything. but if i was going to go to one, i'd sneak my own snacks in, too. i like sour shit, so...sour skittles, i guess. i like reese's too. i'll eat anything with a strong taste, it's a nice shock to my system.

i don't have favourite candy—wait, actually, does vodka jelly count as candy? or is that a whole different type of dessert? yeah, i chew gum. it helps with my anxiety. blueberry flavoured gum is the best. arcades are fun, sure, but i suck at rhythm games and claw machines. plus, claw machines are rigged, anyway.

i have some stuffed animals, yeah. just a few random ones that jordyn—or my old friends, who have completely fucking left me and don't give a shit about me anymore, well, it's not like they ever did, but it still hurts—gave me. my mom tries to give me some but i cut all their heads off. i actually feel a bit guilty about that. my favourite stuffed animal is this dumbass looking kangaroo that i've had since i was a kid. it's gross, but i haven't washed it in years. it has a nice, comforting smell—or maybe i've gone nose blind. but, yeah, it's extra cute because it has a baby kangaroo in its pouch.

okay. i'm guessing...you're the blog that keeps liking all my posts. the one obsessed with bugs. what's it called again? somethingwiththebugs. rocking? i don't know, but i bet that's you.

[demvalhaken]

Dem Rambles lol (I am insane)

I honestly wanna create a PMV or something but I SUCK AT THAT TYPE OF STUFF. I’ve honestly never been good at drawing frames, but maybe trying something new will fix this horrid artblock

Lol, I don’t even know what song I would do tbh

ALSO, I ONLY WANT TO LISTEN TO ONE SONG ON YT AND IT FORCES ME INTO A MIX I DIDNT ASK FOR. I WANT TO LISTEN TO ONE “NEW NORMAL” NOT 50 LYRIC VIDEOS AND FAN ANIMATIONS OF NEW NORMAL BY JACK STAUBER. LET ME WATCH ONE MUSIC VIDEO.

BTW, JOJO SIWA RIPPED OFF THE TOOL LOGO, WHAT A BUNCH OF HIPPY DIPPY BOLOGNA. I DONT THINK I WANT TO KNOW YOUR GUILTY PLEASURES, JOJO, IM COMPLETELY FINE AFTER YOU VIOLATED THAT POOR FISH.

My guilty pleasure is liking those silly yt essays about Spongebob and internet shit. I now realise how nerdy my history has become. I’VE BEEN READING ENTIRE WIKIPEDIA ARTICLES ON BEES AND WATCHING HOUR LONG EXPLANATIONS. I watch science stuff for crying out loud, and commentary… Layze, Chad Chad, Danny Gonzalez, Drew Gooden, Soda Pets… I DREW FAN ART OF FUNKYFROGBAIT AND WATCHED THEIR VIDEOS LIKE 6 TIME EACH. AUHHHHHGHGHGHGHGG

I feel as though That Handsome Devil doesn’t get a lot of love on his music except for Savages and Charlie’s Inferno. My favourite song by him is Inside You or Stockholm Syndrome or the entirety of History Is a Suicide Note and Your Parents Are Sellouts AND THAT HANDSOME DEVIL (Name ablum)

I’LL JUST BUILD A FUCKING TIME MACHINE! (BUILD A FUCKING TIME MACHINE!) REWIND TO THOSE TIMES THAT YOU LIED TO ME! I’LL JUST BUILD A FUCKING TIME MACHINE! (BUILD A FUCKING TIME MACHINE!) REALLY, IT’S ALRIGHT, IT’S FINE WITH ME! WELD IT TOGETHER WITH A SOLDERING IRON! WHEN I TAKE A TRIP I CAN FEEL A PART OF ME DYING! BUT I GO BACK ‘TILL THERE’S NO REGRETS! ‘TIL YOU DIDN’T KNOW ME YET! ‘TIL ONLY YOU AND ME WERE ONLY LEFT! - Time Machine by That Handsome Devil

Tbh that song is kind of comforting for me, please take a listen to his underground music, I am not a Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss! I am a TRUTH, SHARE, GIRLBOSS! I DO NOT GASLIGHT OR GATEKEEP

Btw can we all agree that no one is an “AI Artist.” I was watching an essay video on youtube and this (Not to be mean) interviewed dumbass said that he was an AI Artist. Oh, poor him, his AI images are being shared around the internet and he’s gonna probably do a DMCA thing. I don’t give a shit that your “AI Art” is being shared around, go back to your basement >:( We shouldn’t call anyone an “AI Artist,” it’s not art, it’s an generated image using data from billions of stolen images from photos and artist. I just have a burning HATRED for these people. Dem Facts for you!

Sorry for the ramblings, I fell asleep to 9 chad chad videos and now I can confirm that, no, she does not give me nightmares :)

I’m not even gonna read any of this and just post it, I mean no hate to anyone unless they deserve it. Love you guys, I read every comment btw if you’re wondering

Dem Rambles, women are hot and I eat powdered sugar

[se0bs]

𝖢𝗈𝗈𝗅 𝖶𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖸𝗈𝗎，𝖸𝗈𝗈𝗇 𝖪𝖾𝖾𝗁𝗈

𝖲𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌-having a leader that’s stays in your mind making you feel a certain way

𝖨𝗇𝖿𝗈-Keeho x Reader,Fluff,Idol Au

𝖶𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀-Cussing,Eating,Overthinking?

You know a lot about me idc what you say though. Just say your mine please I’m trying my best to stay sane.I’m cool with you my love.

Standing here infront of many people.How do I breath with you in the crowd starring at me.I want to be seen but you make me feel different…

The song starts I turn on airplane mode.Sing dancing the best part it’s you being there looking at me.Once the song ends it feels like a new beginning start for me.Trying to understand why this is happening to me I will just cool down.Stage ends and my group begin to walk to are room breath heavily from the workout that just happened.

“Y/n you need to stop zoning while you walk” my member said to me.”Oh idk I was doing that” not really caring for that just trying to make sense of things.”Mk whatever you say”

“Wdym by that m/n..”

“We all know you being trying to understand how you feel about that boy keeho that we see walking to practice” my member all agree with the statement just said.”I’m just a little confused on my feelings” telling them.”It’s hard to understand stand how you feel and we all take time to feel confident with it.There is no need to rush on how you feel because I understand you point of view”

My group is watching the other group’s performance so I decided I go get some snack from the vending machine I saw. Grabbing my tote bag with my wallet I tell my manager where I’m going.

Heading towards where I saw it i didn’t bring my headphones since there is a group so listen is why better to me.Spotting it I stand still for a bit.A group is talking photos umm maybe I’ll just wait for them to finish…

Walking down the stairs I see keeho and his members “man I just wanted to get some snacks really” whispering to myself.The other group leaves letting p1h take photos maybe I should just pass by them.

Would that be rude?

Yeah

what if I get in back of their photos?

I can’t have that

I’ll just wait again

“Oh Hi Y/n!” On of the members said I think is name is jongseob.I remember seeing him on tv many it’s crazy how tall he got.”Umm Hi I um just never mind I can wait please don’t mind me sorry” blow to them.”No No is ok did you need anything?” Keeho said trying not to freak me out.”I just wanted to get some stuff from the vending machine I can wait tho!!”

“Hey no stop apologizing, move intak you dookie butt!” Keeho softly push intak away from the machine 😭.”Omg Uhh Ty hahah” wtf I’m I so fucking awkward.

Putting my money in I push the buttons the best thing is my group loves the snack here so I don’t really have a hard time choosing.Grabbing the stuff I put each item in my bag.I can hear the boys talk behind me in a soft voice like they are trying to whisper but it’s really not working.

“Ooo keeho” one of them say.”Shut up before I hit you little boy” keeho told them.Hearing this loud and clear “Go kiss them or make a move if not you a loser” Ik which one said that statement it was Theo.

Once I hear that I stop and decide to make up a dumbass excuse “Ahh I forgot to get more cash I’ll be right back” knowing dam I have money.”It’s okie I have a few bucks hear”.Keeho grabs is wallet and gets money out.Wtf did I say that I’m so cringe giving some kdrama shit.”Ttyyyyy 😃” trying not to breach down.

Putting it in I just pick a random snack and put it In my bag.”Good Choice I love those” hearing from the side of me.”Ewww sorry that was cringe I’m really sorry about that!!” Keeho told me trying to not laugh I just can’t hold it in.Everyone is laughing Keeho standing there embarrassed I look back up and I have a marker in my tote digging into it I take the top off and right my number on the box and gave it to keeho.I’ve decided I might take a chance.”Here for lending me some money”

He grabs is and thanks me hiding his face behind his hand.

Walking back I already I’m going to be dreaming about each other.Step by step I feel a cool breath pass me.I grab the handle to my door and open it greeting me and sitting down placing the snacks down.Picking a snack out I lay back on the couch and open it and hear.”He’s on your mind right?”

“Yeah”

[wastrelwoods]

Can we circle up for a second. What are you all precisely getting at when you talk about the possibility of your fanfiction getting Stolen By AI? I really don’t think the very things some fanfiction writers are speculating about seem to be in line with my baseline understanding of how ChatGPT works. I think the cited fear of ‘all your creative work might be stolen and fed into the AI’ is sort of pointless in that as far as I’m aware it’s maybe happened already? locking accounts and taking stuff down can’t undo the work of the model being trained on a big block of the contents of the internet that may or may not include public posts on fanfiction archives (I think we don’t really know for sure either way?) I guess if it hasn’t happened yet I would prefer that it didn’t. I guess I understand this concern I think stuff being free online oughtn’t make it automatically data to train on.

The more specific example of someone telling a large language model to algorithmically generate a new chapter of your work by feeding it what you already wrote is dumbass annoying and weird behavior but obviously like. They for sure aren’t gonna get a next chapter that bears any resemblance to what you would write because you, the original author, are a person. We’ve all seen how weird and bad they are at roleplaying as specific fictional characters with any consistency. Personally I don’t know how hard done by I would feel if someone did this to me. I would be like. OK weirdo. I don’t write like that.

Again I would love if this didn’t happen to me but I don’t think it would specifically harm me as a writer? fanfiction is already difficult to profit off of so its not like they’re likely to benefit financially from your work. Maybe this thief would create huge volumes of entirely robotic prose and get a lot of hits and traffic with their weird bad fanfiction by just staying at the top of a tag but there ARE spam filters and moderators out there that can adapt to catch this stuff. As far as I know writing that is generated in this way is REALLY easy to spot especially when its used long-form. It’s not gonna cohere in any kind of meaningful way because it wasn’t produced by something that thinks or has an ability to tell a story. It was produced by a contextless spam machine.

IDK maybe I’m missing critical information about whatever it is people are getting at re: Fear Of AI Generated Fanfiction I just think the correct tech hype cycle response is not to start feeding into the hype more by assuming this technology can do anything more precise or creative than it actually can. Would LOVE to know if you are reading articles about this that have more information

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Take My Hand, Let Me Save You Like You Save Me | Soukoku

Based on Heaven and Back by Chase Atlantic. 

Angst but then fluff. I'm not that familiar with Corruption and how it works so please correct me if I get anything wrong. This is set before Soukoku start dating.

Words: 4,194

⚠️TW: drugs, drug use, and almost drug overdose | Dazai typical suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide, and depression.

NOT PROOFREAD (no beta we die like Oda)

(A/N: This is way more angsty than I intended but there is more fluff in later chapters. Under the cut due to length. This has been edited for grammar. At the point I was writing this I didn’t know that No Longer Human is always active so we’re just going to ignore that little fact. Also, the logic behind Corruption is nowhere to be found. I was a very new fan when I wrote this.)

Dazai’s Perspective

Mori's office is filled with every kind of lethal pill imaginable, and I just had to grab a non-lethal one, a hallucinogenic one, I think. I was crying at the time, my eyes blurring at the edges until the fog spread and the tears spilled over.

Now my eyes blur for a different reason, visions of bright, flashing colours and mangled corpses dance in and out of my view. I can't take this, it's not working, I need more.

I dump a few more pills into my palm (3 maybe 7, I can't tell) and swallow them with the stolen whiskey. It tastes bitter, an acidic burn, fire, but I'm flying and I love it. The pain distracts me from everything else and the light feeling is a bliss I never thought I'd ever get to feel.

I stand up (fall down? I can't tell which direction is which.) and notice for the first time, the fluorescents of the warehouse. Gosh, they're beautiful. They should be in a museum not in this dingy warehouse. Who would bother buying lights this nice for a place like this? Then again Mori is like super crazy rich. I tilt my head and they move with me, incredible! I spin, and so do they, making swirls across the grey beams. I wish Chuuya were here to see this. Chuuya makes everything better. He'll be so upset that he missed this.

Suddenly the swirls are taking over my thoughts, I can only think in spirals and my brain feels like it's being rolled up into the spirals. It doesn't feel . . . bad? Anything's better than the pain, I guess? My stomach lurches, being pulled into the spiral as well, and I vomit neon green and pink onto the warehouse floor. It's beautiful and then gone. Then back again, then gone, taking the floor with it. I hear a distant thud and the lights feel farther away.

Pain pounds in my head as the lights come back. This time they're blurred, black eating at the edges. I watch, entranced, as the black and the lights fight. I can't decide who I want to win, they're both so beautiful. The black is winning and I am falling, falling, falling (but wasn't I already down), slipping deeper. Does it feel bad? I don't know. I can't feel anything. Is that a bad thing? Isn't this what I wanted?

Yes. I've always wanted this. Even numbness is better than the pain, and if this is how I get it then I'd gladly do it again. This is what I've been looking for, something I'm not even sure I could get from death: the feeling of already being gone, like I'm no longer human, a machine, a monster. It's not nearly death but I'll take it.

I hear a voice drifting in and out but it sinks to the bottom of my black ocean, along with any remaining fight I had left in me.

Chuuya’s Perspective

Where is he? Where is that shitty bastard? He said he would be home tonight. But that look on his face. I knew he was lying.

"Why the fuck did you let him go, dumbass!" I think to myself. I thought privacy would be a good idea but now it doesn't matter, I have to get to him before he hurts himself.

When I turn the corner, I hear soft sobbing and heavy breathing coming from the warehouse. I know it's him and I dash inside.

He lies curled up in a corner, eyes rolled back in his head, not himself, like when I use Corruption.

"Dazai! Wake up!" no answer, "Wake up, shitty Dazai, wake up."

His corpse-like person stays the same but he's still breathing, he has to be.

"Dammit!!!" He still doesn't stir, panic, turning to pure terror as it claws up my throat, combined with hot anger I feel like I'm about to combust. "No, fuck you! How could you do this?" I ask the unresponsive boy, the words turn to please as they leave my mouth. Desperation now joins the swirl of emotions, "I loved you, I love you! And you go and leave me like this! What about me? What about me, huh? Are you just gonna leave me like this?" I punch him, "Answer me, asshole, I said answer me!"

But at this point, I can see it's useless. His corpse is still, with no breath rising or falling from his still-warm body. The tears come suddenly and I let myself lay over my dead partner, friend (more than friend?). I cry for him, and his situation, and his death, and for what we could've been. I wanted it, oh how I wanted him to return my feelings but it all feels so stupid now, now I just want him alive.

I don't care if they find me like this, draped over the boy I love (and will love until the day I die, even after), I hope they do. Someone deserves to pay. The anger pulses back again, stronger. White hot rage, blacking out my vision. Arahabaki. The Rage only lasts for a second then I'm back, the feeling gone again.

I feel something inside me break.

If Corruption is activating while I'm touching Dazai, then he really is dead. It hits me in the stomach, worse than any punch from an enemy. I should be worried but I don't care if I destroy everything. I don't care if I destroy myself. I don't want to live without Dazai Osamu and I deserve whatever I get for leaving him alone like this. I promised I promised he wouldn't die alone, and yet here I am, doing too little too late as I guess we always knew I would. The one mistake I can't take back.

I try to summon it back, the Rage. I want to hit something, I want to hit myself until I can't anymore. But a noise distracts me, wheezing, then choked breaths. Dazai struggles to sit. A gasp leaves my lips. He's alive, undeniably so, but how. It's been at least 5 minutes.

I can feel his heartbeat, slightly too fast but strong, in his chest, and his breathing the same. Did I . . . bring him back? No, Arahabaki did. For the first time, real gratitude for the god surges in me but I have to focus on Dazai now.

He opens his brown eyes, they're wide with surprise and wet with tears. But not the deep and curious look that only I know, dull and sad. I'll take anything.

He gets up, seemingly perfectly fine, just sad. He sits back down, head between his knees, hands covering his eyes but I can see his shoulder skating with the silent sobs. Distraught. I can't take him in pain like this. My body moves before I can think about what I'm doing.

I hold out my hand.

He doesn't take it.

"Please." it comes out too desperate, "please" I try again softer. He lifts his arms and nods, grasping my hand. The connection makes me feel safer than I ever have. "Let me help you," He's still looking down. "Like you've helped me so many times."

"You don't owe me." is all he says

"I do, but that's not why I'm doing this. I'm doing it because I'm human and so are you, I want to help you and . . ." I swallow the lump in my throat, "I care about you, more than you'll ever know."

This makes him look up, our eyes lock, a thousand words unspoken. "Now please, let me save you like, you save me"

He stands up and I don't really know what to do so I put my hands around his waist, an awkward kind of hug, my palms feel hot. Soon we're fully embracing each other. Dazai letting me support his weight, support him. I want him to see things how I do so faster than I can talk myself out of it I hold him tighter and let myself float a metre above the ground.

We stay there for a while.

Then Dazai whispers something into my chest, the words a soft vibration, like a cat's purr.

"Hmm?"

"I said, the city looks beautiful from up here."

The words leave my mouth without my permission, "Most deadly things look pretty."

He smiles an actual smile. It hides itself beneath a neutral expression quickly but I know it was there and I'd do anything to see it again.

"You look beautiful up here," he whispers, I don't think he meant for me to hear but I'm so close to him that it's impossible not to, the quieter. "Chuuya always looks beautiful"

I feel myself blushing, my heart skipping a beat and picking up again in double time.

All of a sudden the warehouse feels too small so I fly up to the roof. Dazai's eyes widen in surprise and he holds me tighter, bandaged arms snugly around my waist. I try to ignore the feeling in my stomach and focus on the roof.

It's different. I've never flown with someone else before and I thought I would have to remind myself to be gentle but adjusting and softening my movements for Dazai comes easily to me, an unconscious action.

I touch down on the roof and the wind swirls around us, playing with Dazai's hair in a beautiful way. I watch it tangle around for a moment before snapping out of it. I could stare longer if I wanted to. Dazai has his back to me, staring out at the city. Almost on the edge.

I follow his gaze to an empty green lot, overgrown with only a small warehouse.

"That lot has been empty forever," he says in a monotone

"Yeah, I don't think it's Mori's."

"They tried to sell it a while ago," the slightest tint of emotion enters his voice, but I can't identify it, "but no one wanted to buy it."

"I can see why. I'd probably be more trouble to fix up than it's worth."

"I think it's a nice place." The emotion is unmistakable now: longing. "Private, nobody pays attention to it, no super close neighbors, quiet, but you can see the whole city from the roof." Longing for a home, a place to settle, a place to be his answer when someone asks where he's from, where he belongs. I know because I want these things too.

"You've been there?"

"I used to hide out there."

There's silence, we're still speaking, just not with words. He tells me with the way he steps closer to the ledge.

"Yeah, it could be pretty nice. I bet someone will buy it, some super-rich real estate person, and then sell it." I feel Dazai's shoulders slump as I finish the sentence. I want to say sorry but I'm not sure what for, or what to start with because I have so many things to say sorry for.

"Before I joined, it was my place, the closest thing to a home that I had. Now I live here of course but I–"

"I get it. You don't want it going to just anyone." He gives me a small smile for my understanding, but he's almost off the ledge now. I won't let him go again. I won't.

I grab his waist and pull him away from the ledge, back to me. Close, close, closer until we can feel each other's heartbeats.

Music echoes from the distance, a street party. It seems to grow louder, and so does my heartbeat. The first move is mine, the next is his and before we know it we're moving to it together, gliding, spinning, twisting, not in synchronisation, but the movements seem to all fit together. Dancing. I'm dancing with Dazai Osamu and my heart soars.

It feels like I'm floating and then I realise, we are. I've taken us up, just above the floor of the roof. We dance up here uncaring free, the feelings running wild even if only for one night. I let myself go higher, the feeling in my chest unravelling and releasing the tension as we move together.

This feeling: raw, pure, intense, and wholly human. Puts me on a high, grounding me at the same time. And maybe humans don't feel this passionately, maybe I'm not human, but if being inhuman allows me to feel like this if it allowed me to save the love of my life, it can't be so bad.

Dazai’s Perspective

It's a habit at this point. Constantly pushing further even after I've gone way past way too far just because fuck it. Stepping closer to the ledge, farther from life until all I can see is the ground below. It wouldn't even be jumping, just falling. The smallest shift of my body weight forward, a motion nobody would even notice until it's already too late. Another step.

You might wonder, Wouldn't I miss Chuuya? If I'm dead I can't miss anyone. If I could miss him though, I would, but it doesn't matter. He'll be fine. He might have saved me but I know he doesn't care about me the way I would like him to. It's obvious, he hates me but I still can't let him go. It'd be better for all of us if I just fell.

He'll find another partner, move on, and forget all about me, be the youngest living Port Mafia executive. He'd like that. I start to lean forward a bit. Arms grab my waist, strong, warm, and secure. He pulls me closer, and closer and closer until there's no space left. I still want to be closer.

Pop music begins to blast from a few streets over, loud and clear from up here. The lights of the city seem to dance in time to the music and Chuuya looks as stunning as ever, wind tousled red hair and blue eyes bright with emotion . . . humanity.

He's everything I don't want, everything I know I'll never have. And that just makes me want him all the more. I don't want his humanity or his emotion for myself, I want him to want me with all of himself. I want him to love me with all of his searing passion until I burn from the inside out.

I said Chuuya would be the death of me but I didn't say it with malice. I would love for him to end. For him to take my life away with the sheer force of our contradicting personalities. Death by his hand would be . . . perfect.

The brutal conclusion to a brutal life.

Suddenly I'm knocked off my feet, or not knocked, but rather the ground disappears from under me, but I'm not falling, I'm floating.

Chuuya.

It's my instinct to hold on tighter to Chuuya but that would only make things more awkward so I let go. I expect to fall but I don't stay where I am. Ah, Chuuya must be controlling my gravity field. I don't mind, not at all.

He catches my hand, a look of pure exhilaration on his face, and I use the rebound to spin him away, catching him again. His touch cancels out everything else as if he's the one with the nulling ability. This is better than any drug, the pain is no more. All I can feel is Chuuya. He feels good, better than. I know I may never get to do this again so tonight I dance with Chuuya. I allow myself to get as close as I want to. He doesn't protest.

He may not love me in that way (but he must have at least some affection for me or he would never be letting me do this), but I know that as long as I have Chuuya I can live with myself.

Chuuya’s Perspective

It feels like we could've danced forever but eventually, we end up on the edge of the roof. Not like last time, nothing like last time. This time Dazai sits in my lap, (which I'll admit is a bit awkward because of the um *cough* height difference *cough* Hey, shut up, inner Dazai voice!), and shockingly he makes an effort to curl up smaller to fit better. My heartbeat accelerates, sending warm tremors through my chest. His touch does to me, the opposite of what his ability does to me. I wish he knew what he does to me.

I feel him shift closer. What the hell is happening? Who is this and where's shitty-bastard Dazai?

Dazai’s Perspective 

Dancing with Chuuya fills me with a feeling I don't recognise, but it burns, and I like it. The burn is different from the acid burn that the whiskey provided, it's slower and deeper, starting from the points where Chuuya touches me but then consuming me from the inside out. This burn isn't acid, it's a pure holy fire, like Chuuya himself. I'm sure I could manage without it, but why would I want to, it wouldn't really be living. I'm tired of this half-living I've been doing and I wish I'd realised sooner but now that I have this I know there's no chance I'm ever letting him go again.

It's difficult because Chuuya's just so small but I manoeuvre myself even closer, soaking up his fiery warmth and leaning in until the city noise disappears and his heartbeat and breathing are the only things I hear.

I can feel my shoulders tensing, waiting, wanting. Wanting him to lean down and kiss me. His fire gives me a nervous feeling and the heat is so distracting that I can't form the words.

Instead, I tilt my head up pathetically and hope he notices me for once.

Chuuya’s Perspective

I’m sure the Yokohama skyline is beautiful tonight but I can’t take my eyes off Dazai, I don’t really want to either. The wind picks up and ruffles his soft brown hair, giving me the irresistible urge to pull my finger through it. With how close we are it’s probably okay. Then he looks up.

I close my eyes.

I wish he didn’t. It makes me want to punch him sometimes (that’s usually why I do punch him), the way he flirts so shamelessly with everyone, no matter the gender, he just loves to flirt (and then break hopeful hearts), so much so that anyone could tell it’s an act, not even to mock them but just for his own amusement. Damn him! I usually would punch him right about now but I could never hurt him when he’s like this.

I open my eyes, accepting my fate, willing myself to resist.

His eyes are full of something deep and mysterious, yes, but it’s his lips that hold my attention. The way they’re slightly parted, if I didn’t know better I’d say he was doing this on purpose but I do know better and this oblivious idiot has no idea what he’s doing. If I didn’t know better I’d say the look in his eyes is want.

His lips look so soft, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve dreamt of kissing them. And now he wants me to. I’m not sure. But I can’t stop myself.

I have to lean down to him for once as I press my lips to his. Immediately a tingling sensation hits me, scalding at first then pleasantly warm. And, oh. I was right, his lips are soft and warm.

Then panic shoots through me. I open my eyes to see Dazai's own eyes wide in surprise, I know the horror will come next. Have I just ruined everything? What should I say, how can I even explain this?  The dread wells inside me, turning me to stone.

“I—” My throat is the first to go and the words die on my tongue.

And then he’s kissing me back.

It’s different now that he’s kissing me as well. His lips are still soft but more solid and forceful. This time he presses his body into mine until we’re held together so tightly it feels like we’re one now, instead of two.

The hardest thing about kissing Dazai is stopping, but at last, we do.

“Dazai . . .” There are no words that adequately describe the experience.

He sighs, “Please, use my given name.” I freeze, “Call me Osamu.”

“Osamu,” I whisper into the night, testing out the word. It feels right, leaving a pleasant sensation on my lips. The memory of where his own lips had just touched mine. Pulsing desire.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this,” I say to the night around us. It feels good to get the words out.

His smile is brighter than any of the lights around, “That goes for me as well.”

The music from the street below is still playing, but quieter now as if everything has faded out leaving only Osamu and I.

It’s so nice that we let the confessions and feelings hang in the air for a while as the sky slips from dark blue to black and the feelings get brighter . . . hotter.

It happens so easily, as if we’ve been doing this for years (we should have been), our lips are connected again pressing feverishly, hungrily against each other. Osamu’s hands are in my hair, pulling, but not so hard it hurts.

When we stop for breath I tug away the bandages covering Osamu’s neck and begin to explore.

——————————

We lay on the roof, the music long quieted, staring up at the full moon. The bandages on Osamu’s neck hang loosely like a necklace, both of our hair sticks up and Osamu is using my coat as a blanket against the nighttime chill.

—

When the moon finally begins to slip away I ask, “Are we going to talk about this?”

“About what?” Osamu asks. I look at him confused. He smiles, “We’ve been in love all this time, what will change now that the words have been said. It isn’t like we’ll be able to be affectionate at work.” He explains all this matter of factory then smirks, “After work on the other hand . . .” He lets the implications fill my mind. I shove my hat over his eyes.

“Perv!”

“You asked, I was just answering!” He laughs and takes off the hat holding up too high for me to reach. I don’t try to reach it, he puts it down over his face.

“You know that’s not what I meant! I just mean like kissing not . . .” I hope he can’t see my blush from this angle.

“I know, of course, teasing Chuuya is just so fun. But we can kiss as much as Chuuya wants.” I don’t miss how he uses my name instead of one of his many nicknames, and he said nothing would change. I don’t mention it.

The truth is we’ve been partners for so long hardly anything needs to be said.

And yet, I want to say it, to hear his answer.

It still feels kind of awkward, the words cumbersome as I try to phrase the question, “So . . . Boyfriends then?”

Osamu doesn’t answer right away, then sighs, “Boyfriends.” He says the word in a bored tone, a smile like gold lights his face, “I don’t want Chuuya to be my boyfriend, I love Chuuya so much more than a boyfriend. Boyfriend is such an impermanent word. There has to be a better one, no?”

His words make me feel cool inside, like how people say love makes them feel warm. Osamu’s love makes me feel cool and refreshed, like the relief when he uses his ability on me, a pleasant tingling sensation. Like Osamu’s own cold touch. It’s distracting and I can’t answer him.

Luckily he has an answer of his own. “Partners.” He says with finality.

“Partners.” I agree.

—

We don’t speak again until the sun appears on the horizon.

“I want you to promise me something, Chuuya.”

I look at him surprised by the suddenness of his request.

“I want to annoy you forever, so . . . promise you’ll remind me to live okay, for you.”

His words make me freeze. Dazai Osamu, the boy obsessed with death, wants to live. The cool feeling washes over me again.

He sits up and moves closer to me until we’re shoulder to shoulder with his hand our my waist. “I want to, I do but sometimes it’s hard. The darkness takes over and I forget everything I have to live for, when that happens, please remind me, okay Chuuya.” He looks at me like a lost puppy, tears brimming over, a little bit happy and a little bit sad, I think. “And I can’t promise that it will work, or that I’ll make it, but with you, I know I can at least try, and I will try, so hard, for you Chuuya, my beloved.”

“Okay, Osamu. I will.”

We seal the pact with a kiss and watch the sunrise together. It isn’t a bad way to spend a night, not bad at all. Now we enter the new day together, as partners.

[goodmode]

rules: tag 9 people (or so) you want to know better and/or catch up with, then answer the questions below! — i was tagged by @king-yeen

Last song?

Glass Animals - Life Itself

def a song about being stuck in life! it used to make me very upset due to a lot of very personal lines but now it’s just like. listening to it is like knowing someone else has been through it so it’s more of a comfort than a downer. good song

Three Ships?

erijade homestuck, sunburst/stygian mlp......... those are the only ones i feel remotely strongly about?? uhhh...... maybe wanderer/traveller genshinimpact because i’m really struggling after the first two? i dont know man i don’t really ship much nowadays. mostly i’m focussed on found family and friendship. i like me a story where characters are not in a Partnered Relationship but regardless make each other’s lives a part of them so strongly they explode

Currently Reading?

fuck i keep telling myself i’m going to read I Shall Wear Midnight by Terry Pratchett next, because i absolutely adore tiffany aching and grew up with her and never finished the series but. executive dysfunction. i kept having to take the book back to the library repeatedly after not having touched a single page so i ended up giving up for the time being. i will though. Someday

Last Movie?

Ivan Vasilievich Changes Profession (1973). watched it with my partner! it’s a bizarro comedy about some cuck who invents a time machine and brings Ivan The Terrible into the 1973 modern day while sending other dumbasses into the past to take his place. the casting is actually pretty clever (one guy plays two characters and it makes sense at the end) and it’s generally very entertaining. one of those old films that would have been 100% better if most of the cast went “fuck it maybe im gay”

Craving?

cheap ramen, brands that are imported and aren’t Pot Noodle. always. you live in the uk you grow up with fucking Pot Noodle. and you learn after a single cheap ramen pack that it doesnt have to be this way. anyway my sole purpose in life is to consume various types of cheap ramen. i want to eat shitty ramen all day every day and the only thing preventing me from this is knowing it would destroy my body. sometimes i have to put vegetables in there. unfortunately

tagging:

@thethrillof | @whitewyrmings | @anactualcartoondog and anyone else who sees this and happens to want to do it

[cursedchildofchaos]

💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬💬

19??? Anon, you little shit! Okay, fine lol. Not giving context either besides that some of these are from fanfics and some original stuff

1. 

COACH

Schmidt just went full Winston and got

pet-ernal.

2. 

ALISON 

Nothing you say is going to change my mind, Dr. Felix. 

CHASE 

(through gritted teeth) 

Oh, it's last names now? Fine, but I'm not helping, Dr. Roberts. Use the damn machine yourself!

3. 

Talk or I'll bite you! I'll bite your whole family! I'll even bite your grandma!

4. 

And that's why you shouldn't trust strangers that offer you candy, kids. Never know when one might turn out to be a vengeful witch.

5. 

It's called a chemical reaction, you fudging sucker!

6. 

BEA

So, what brings you to Hell?

DAVE

Oh, my ex told me she would see me here.

7. 

If our dumbass friend is doing something dumbass, we are doing that dumbass thing, too, because we are dumbasses.

8.

A BANK OFFICIAL, standing in front of Dedire, pulls his collar as he eyes the porcelain dolls about the room. They seem like each one is staring into his soul.

9.

There’s a cat waiting to pounce when we stop dancing. You see, I’m allergic to cats, or cads, whatever you call ’em.

10.

Snape thought briefly that he might be dead and this was his own personal Hell even though he sort of enjoyed seeing Petunia cry. The situation was all too laughable and miserable at the same time...Maybe the Catholics were right about Purgatory being real?

11.

Haru: Tohru, tell your bf to accept this secret passionate love for Yuki and join the new Yuki Fan Club.

Kyo: I said replace me with her, dammit! Not add her and not get rid of me!

Tohru: Kyo, please, honey, just accept your secret passionate love for Yuki. Also, thanks for adding me guys! Kyo has been complaining about this group chat for over an hour, and I wanted in so bad, but didn’t want to just invite myself.

12.

Virgil ripped his arm out of Remus' grasp.

"Scaring people is my thing, Snidely Whiplash," Virgil retorted.

13.

MC: Loser

Dan: Yeah, what about it?

MC: Oh, um, I didn’t mean it

Dan: Ah, well, I did

MC: Stop, you’re making me feel bad for you

Dan: Good

14.

Wait...I forgot I'm the author of this fanfic. I can just go inside his head. Let's do that (not literally, though, I get a little woozy when it comes to organs).

15.

Today really was a Happy Birthday, wasn't it? Molly thought to herself while jamming to music in her car. I can't wait to get home and tell Toby all about it.

16.

"Another time, I forced everyone to listen to Kidz Bop instead of original songs, claiming they were more Good Place friendly as you do. Another time I said the only people who make it to Heaven are the ones that love the movie Citizen Kane and refuse to watch anything else, so we kept watching it repeatedly as you do. Another time, I forced you to retake French, which I know you hated in high school, cuz I had Janet put a French filter on Chidi's voice...as you do," he rambled off.

"You know adding 'as you do' doesn't make it better...especially as NO ONE DOES THOSE THINGS," Eleanor said, now standing, and looking at Michael accusingly.

17.

His eyes began to water. He slid off the chair next to her. He pulled her into an embrace. She stiffened as he buried his face in her hair that hung near her neck and over her shoulder. His tears were hot as they soaked her sleeve and hair.

18.

Jane attempts to put her hands on her hips, but there isn't room. Instead, she sticks them in her armpits.

19. 

"But I-I," Meg stuttered. "NO BUTS! I want you to think about how disrespectful you've been while were gone," Juliet retorted. Olka belly laughed and whispered, "Butts!" Astrid kicked her sister in the shin.

[spywitch]

Im starting to hate my roommate so much lmao. I hate the way she treats me but like lol I feel like I’m also used to being treated like this by people all the time (just not to this degree of it leading to conflict) and idk if its literally just because of how awkward and bad at communicating I am or something but like.

It will go like this: I get completely left out of the loop on something. Like say theres a chore thing going on and I don’t really know what the plan is with it, or someone is going out of town or bringing guests over or something and I have no idea, or literally just anything like that you know nobody communicates with me. Which then I’m like sure, maybe its my own fault because I isolate myself or whatever, but when I fucking say anything to this particular roommate about any issue, or ask any question about something everyone has left me in the dark on, I get this fucking response like I just asked the weirdest, dumbest question, or like I just said something incredibly rude. Which lmao certainly doesn’t make me feel like communicating about anything in the future… and lack of communication on both ends has led to conflict sometimes lol.

Like for example, fuckin idk washing machine had a problem and I was like “oh weird, last time I used it it wouldnt stop beeping but its done that before and I thought it was bc the door just wasnt latched”, and I get the “you need to tell me stuff like that right away” lecture (she owns the house).

So later we get a new washer, and as my roommates rave about it I sheepishly pipe up that it seems to run really hot. I felt like my roommate stared daggers at me, and was like “What do you mean?” and I was like well it was really hot when I did a load and ive had no hot water in my showers for the past couple nights when everyone did a lot of laundry. And she acts like I’m a dumbass like “You wash your clothes in hot water?? 🤨” and “well yeah you cant shower at the same time as someone else” and again the “why didnt you say anything” when I am there, literally trying to say something and this kind of reaction is exactly why I’m AFRAID to say something immediately. I felt like she was acting like I’m being stupid and/or accusatory or something. And then they look and it turns out, they accidentally switched the hot and cold water and it WAS blasting everything with hot water 😭

Another example, different roommate has a puppy she took off someone’s hands and is trying to rehome for them, she asked me to let it out in the morning but didnt say if she needed help letting it out throughout the day and just in general nobody has told me if someone is helping her with the puppy while she’s at work bc ive also been at work until today. Later roommate ive been having issues with comes home and I ask “have you let the puppy out today?” and again I get the like “What?” in the “wtf are you talking about” tone and she’s like “No, I’ll do it in a second” so I’m like “oh its ok I’ll take him out” and she was like “What??” and im like 😭 im literally just trying to help jesus, what did I fucking say thats offending you?? To be fair this interaction she was like, mid-migraine and im pretty sure didnt register what i said at first so I would give it a pass but its just like a Pattern of acting like literally everything I say is rude or stupid or something.

[bxnghy]

TWST characters as incorrect quotes;

Yuu/MC: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Epel: 'Prettiest Smile' Jack: 'Nicest Personality' Ace: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Sebek: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Ruggie: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut... Azul: You would eat yourself? Ruggie: I wouldn’t even question it.

*Ace and Deuce sitting in jail together* Deuce: So who should we call? Ace: I’d call Yuu/MC, but I feel safer in jail

Vil: I think Leona was right. Malleus: I'm surprised he hasn’t marched in here to say 'I told you so.' Idia: He wouldn't do that.. Leona: You're right, Idia. For once in your life, you're 100% right. I would never say that. Leona: *turns around, the shirt he is wearing says 'Leona Told You So' on the back*

Grimm: Am I going too far? MC/Yuu: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Idia: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends. Azul: ... Your what? Idia: My friends. Vil: Is he saying “friends”? Lilia: I think he’s being sarcastic. Cater: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Idia! All of your friends are in this room. Idia: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

MC/Yuu: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Ace: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Deuce: I personally was created in a lab. Grimm: I just straight up spawned lol.

Vil: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

Ace: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something. Riddle: Ace, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Floyd: Hey Azul, Azul: Yes? Floyd: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on? Azul: Azul: Where’s Jade?

[mercurygguk]

cockblocked. (m) | jjk

➵ summary; in which a pair of best friends are hopelessly in love with one another but they’re both too dumb to realize, even when everyone around them are dropping hints every five minutes. or alternatively; “you’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back.”

pairing; jeongguk x f. reader

word count; 15.8k

rating; 18+

content; roommates au + friends (idiots) to lovers, smut/fluff/angst

warnings; mentions of alcohol, swearing, explicit sexual content, dirty talk, cum eating, oral sex (f. receiving), stupid jeongguk and stupid reader

a/n; i’ve been wanting to write a oneshot for so long with the ultimate boyfriend version of gguk, so i started writing with this gguk in mind. i hope you like it! ALSO, this is heavily unedited, so ignore any typos thx – enjoy!

find drabbles related to this fanfic through this tag !! 

Music is blaring through the speakers, shaking your body as you stand against the wall, watching people get shitfaced and stick their tongues down each other’s throats. There’s an untouched drink in your hand. It’s lukewarm by now and definitely tasting way worse than when it was made. You hate yourself for always saying yes to joining your friends at this type of scene. Quite simply, you hate every single thing about parties at frat houses. The music is shit, it’s nothing compared to your own favorite chill playlist filled with ballads and old classics. The alcohol smells and tastes like crap, and it doesn’t get you nearly as drunk as it should. To top it all off, your friends had left you alone for two random guys, so in conclusion, this night could’ve been better but it could’ve been much worse as well you suppose. It’s not like you’ve done anything stupid, so really, what’s the problem?

It’s not even that late when you decide to make your way upstairs. There must be a quieter place in this huge house where you can sit in silence until you deem it acceptable to leave again. But as you push your way past couples practically having sex on the staircase, you realize that all rooms are most likely taken. Maybe you should just leave now? You chuckle at your own situation. You haven’t even been here for two hours and you’re already planning on going home again. You shake your head to yourself as you continue your walk upstairs. It won’t hurt to see if you just happen to be lucky enough to find an empty room in this gigantic house.

The first room you come across seems quiet as you press your ear against the door’s surface. You take the chance and grab the handle before pushing yourself inside. You stop in your tracks when one of the two in there turns to look at you, the other one sitting with their head down a bucket. You grimace as you back out of the room, closing the door behind you. The smell of puke haunts you as you move on to the next door.

“Last room better be empty,” you whisper to yourself after checking almost every single room upstairs. You push yourself inside without a single warning to those who may be on the other side of the door. The scene in front of you doesn’t surprise you at all as you stay in the doorway. The pair stops their actions upon your presence.

“I swear that’s the seventh person to barge in here!” The girl, who was being grinded on by the dude on top of her, whines. The guy turns his head to look at you, a glare evident even though it’s mostly dark in the room. “And suddenly I’m not in the mood anymore,” the girl groans as she pushes Mr. Fuckboy off her, “see you around, Jeon.”

You watch with an amused smirk as the girl yanks her shirt off the ground, slipping it on and pushing past you out of the room, her shoulder bumping against yours. You chuckle to yourself, wondering why some girls just had to be like that. The guy you now know as ‘Jeon’ gets up from the bed, turning to face you fully. He’s not wearing a shirt which allows you to see the sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. His pants are unzipped and his belt is unbuckled, and yet he doesn’t seem fazed at all. You cock a brow at him as he finally notices and reaches down to zip his pants and buckle his belt.

“Thanks for cockblocking me by the way,” ‘Jeon’ shoots at you, making you scoff and cross your arms over your chest.

“Well, it’s not entirely my fault,” you defend yourself, gesturing to the door beside you, “you could’ve just locked the door.”

He chuckles at your defensive tone as he grabs his sweatshirt off the floor. He slips it over his head, messing his black, curly hair up even more than it was before. That girl must’ve had a good grip on it for it to look like such a mess in this very moment.

“Why are you even in here?” Jeon asks, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. It tames it a bit, you think to yourself as you watch it fall back onto his forehead and slightly into his eyes. Not bothering to answer his question, you decide on stepping further into the room, making your way to the balcony that happened to be in this exact room. Jeon watches you as you open the doors and head outside into the chilly night air. He follows behind, joining you on the balcony. Why he does so wonders the both of you. He leans on the railing beside you, looking at the side of your face. “Party not fun enough?”

You chuckle. “Just not my typical scene,” you tell him, glancing at him.

The stranger, who goes by ‘Jeon’ so far, is still looking at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “What is your typical scene then?”

This dude’s sudden interest in you doesn’t go unnoticed by you, so you decide to finally look at him fully instead of the drunk people on the front lawn below you.

“Somewhere quieter, somewhere you’re actually able to talk to people,” you explain to him, “and if there’s food, even better!”

This makes him laugh lightly, a glint in his eyes that makes your stomach tingle in a funny way. “A foodie then?”

You nod, a wide smile on your face. “Huge foodie.”

“What’s your name?” He asks, seeming genuinely interested in knowing it. “I’m Jeongguk.”

“___,” you tell him, “it’s nice to meet you, Jeongguk.”

He grins, a bunny smile appearing and you can’t help but think about how ridiculously cute he actually is. And yet still a fuckboy, without a doubt.

“Nice to meet you too, ___.”

You both watch the drunk people below in silence. You wonder what he’s thinking about. Does he think the same about these people as you or is he usually one of them? Maybe he’s one of those people who attends every single frat party. But he doesn’t seem to be very drunk at the moment. You’re about to ask him when he turns to look at you, eyes slightly wide with a glint in them as if he just thought of something brilliant.

“Wanna go somewhere else?” He suddenly asks. You squint your eyes at him, wondering what place he possibly could be thinking about. “I know this great place that has really good frozen yoghurt.”

You can’t help but let out a laugh, “you want frozen yoghurt at almost 1 am?”

He nods, a boyish smile on his face. “Yeah, why not? This party sucks aaaand you totally cockblocked me, so I see no reason to stay here anymore.”

Rolling your eyes, you chuckle at his attempt to make you feel guilty once again. “I stand my ground,”  you snicker, “you could’ve just locked the door, dumbass.”

Jeongguk shrugs it off, a tiny smirk appearing on his lips. “So, is that a yes?”

You purse your lips, pretending to think about his question when in reality you had made up your mind the second he mentioned frozen yoghurt. Food is never questioned, you always say yes when your friends ask, and now also when Jeongguk asks. You nod, smiling widely.

“Yeah, frozen yoghurt sounds really good, actually.”

Jeongguk grins, grabs your hand before pulling you back inside and out of the room. A mild tingle erupts in your stomach as you look down at how tightly his hand is gripping yours. You shake the thoughts from your head as you follow behind, letting him guide you downstairs to where the party is still ongoing. He pushes his way through the crowd of people, glancing back at you once in a while to make sure you’re still with him. Were you really just about to leave this party, leave your friends behind to get frozen yoghurt with a complete stranger? Guess so. Were you starting to regret saying yes? Surprisingly, no.

As you ride with the bus to the downtown part of the city, you learn a few things about Jeongguk. He tells you that he’s majoring in photography and that his camera is his most prized possession, he tells you about how he’s a huge gym rat and that he’s basically living his life at the gym when he isn’t studying or running around with his camera. You learn that Jeongguk loves food more than anything and that he’s quite a chef himself (but you also learn that he isn’t one to brag, so you basically had to force it out of him). He also tried to assure you that he wasn’t a fuckboy, which you had claimed him to be when you interrupted him in that bedroom. You only laugh it off, patting him on the shoulder as if to tell him it’s okay, that you don’t judge him for whatever sex life he’s living.

You find yourself enjoying his company more than you had expected to, laughing more than you ever would’ve at the frat party. Even at some point throughout the bus ride, your one leg had somehow managed to rest over his thigh, his hand on it as if it’s the most normal position for the two of you. And there’s not a single moment of awkward silence during the entire trip to that frozen yoghurt place which Jeongguk had been gushing about since you got on the bus.

“Why is this place even open so late?” You ask as Jeongguk holds the door open for you. You walk inside the shop, him following right behind. Before Jeongguk can answer your question, you gasp loudly as you take in the size of the place Jeongguk brought you to. He chuckles from beside you, grabbing your hand once again to pull you to the yoghurt machines. Your mouth is agape in amazement as you grab a cup, starting to mix different flavours. “Jeongguk, there’s too many flavours! How am I supposed to make one without having to pay a shit ton of money?”

Jeongguk laughs, eyes scrunching together and pearly white teeth showing. “I guess that means we have to visit again soon?” He says, more like a question than a statement.

You nod excitingly, making him laugh once again.

Jeongguk ends up paying for yours even after you fight him on it, but he didn’t take no for an answer and left you to watch as he paid for both cups of yoghurt, yours ending up more expensive than you had intended.

“Thanks, that was really kind of you,” you softly tell him as he hands you your cup, playfully glaring at him as he does so. “It’s on me next time.”

He shrugs it off, smiling softly. “Don’t worry about it, ___.”

You seat yourselves inside a booth, eating your frozen yoghurt in comfortable silence. Jeongguk finishes it rather quickly causing you to widen your eyes at his empty cup. You’re about to tell him he’ll end up with a brain freeze but the said brain freeze beats you to it. You watch as Jeongguk brings a hand to his forehead, groaning in agony.

“Fuck,” he swears, “wasn’t thinking about this when I shoved that down.”

You laugh, grimacing yourself as he grimaces in pain. After a while, it stops and Jeongguk rubs his forehead with a sigh.

“You good?” You ask as you try to stifle another laugh. He nods, glaring at you and then the empty cup in front of him. Pushing it to the side, you chuckle. “It’s not the yoghurt’s fault, Jeongguk.”

He sighs deeply as he leans back in his seat, watching you as you finish yours. You glance at him occasionally, offering him a small smile once in a while as well. His eyes are captivating in a way, dark brown irises and long lashes. You can’t hold his stare for long without feeling like he’s seeing right through you and reading everything there’s going on inside your head. A tiny crush is starting to develop at the bottom of your stomach, but you try to ignore it, not wanting to go in that direction right now.

“You never told me about yourself,” he then says, catching your attention once again as he leans over the table. You look at him, confused. “It was just me talking about myself on the way here and we never got to talk about you.”

“Oh!” You exclaim, “well, there isn’t much to tell.”

Jeongguk scoffs with a chuckle. “Come on, there has to be something.”

You think for a bit, trying to think about what you can tell him that could possibly be interesting for Jeongguk to hear about. “But what do you wanna know?” You ask him, smiling.

“Mhm,” he hums, “well, first of all, what’s your major?”

“English,” you answer.

He nods at that. “Favorite color?”

“Yellow.”

“Favorite animal?”

Without thinking, you smile and answer: “Bunnies.” 

You swear you see Jeongguk’s cheeks redden as the word leaves your mouth. You smile to yourself, resting your chin in your palm as you watch him, his cheeks flushed. He rubs his chin, searching for another question. 

“Ah! Celebrity crush?”

“Gong Yoo,” you sigh, dreamy gaze with what you’d call a real-life ‘heart eyes’ emoji expression on your face. Across from you, Jeongguk is pretending to gag. You swat at him, giggling lightly. “Shut up! You’re just jealous.”

“Never,” he retorted quickly, making you smirk slightly. “Okay, last question.”

You wait, anticipating something but not sure what exactly.

“Can I have your number?”

There’s nothing to do to stop the blush that colors your cheeks as you nod, smiling at him for being so damn smooth. He hands you his phone with a small smile, you type his phone number in and hand him his phone back. Jeongguk laughs as he notices how you put your name in his phone; ‘cockblocker <3′

“I’m glad we did this,” he suddenly says, his expression a serious but soft one. You nod in agreement.

“Me too,” you tell him, meaning it. This night turned out way better than you had expected, and it was all because you happened to cockblock Jeon Jeongguk.

You run around your dorm room with a towel wrapped around your body, wet hair all over the place as you try to figure out where you left your phone. Your phone is currently ringing and you know without a doubt who it is, but you can’t answer him because you might have lost it in the pile of clothes on your bed and floor.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” you hiss to yourself repeatedly as you rummage through the clothes, the ringing of your phone becoming more persistent if that’s even possible. Then it stops ringing before you have the chance to locate it. You continue to look as you sigh, knowing it will most likely ring again in a few seconds. But it doesn’t. Instead there’s a knock on your door. You glance down at your body. 

“Great, still naked,” you groan to yourself and move to the door, opening it and revealing your curly-haired best friend (who may you mention looks exceptionally good in his ripped blue jeans, black hoodie and white sneakers). He marches into your room before you even get to greet him. You close the door after him before turning to look at him. You grip the towel tightly, terrified it will fall if you let go. And cause a very awkward situation for you and Jeongguk.

“What’s taking you so long? We have to-” Jeongguk stops as he turns to face you, just now realising you’re only wrapped in a towel and not fully dressed at all. “Oh.”

Your lips turn into a straight line, nodding. “Yep.”

His cheeks turn a slight red color as he quickly turns back around, his back to you. “Sorry,” he then says. You laugh at his embarrassment, clearly not as fazed about this as him. And he’s supposed to be the girl magnet, you think to yourself.

“Calm down, Gguk. I decided to let you in even though I’m basically naked, so really, don’t worry about it.”

He glances at you over his shoulder, not even slightly discreet about the way he looks you up and down. You feel your cheeks slightly heat up, noticing the way his eyes linger on your hand which is still clutching the towel tightly. It has been almost 9 months since you met Jeongguk at the frat party and there has been a slight tension of something you can’t quite decipher ever since. There have been more than several moments like these where Jeongguk is staring at you a bit too long or his touch lingers on you for a while longer than they probably were supposed to. You always shrug it off, not thinking too much of it because it’s probably all in your head anyway.

Jeongguk sits himself down on your bed, gesturing to the bathroom. “Well, get dressed already. Jimin’s performance is in like 30 minutes.”

“Right!” You shriek, now remembering what the purpose of your shower was. 

Jimin is Jeongguk’s best friend from high school and is a year ahead of you and Jeongguk at the same college. Jimin is a dance major, doing all kinds of dances varying from hiphop to contemporary and so on. He’s truly talented and even more of a sweetheart. You met him one night a few months back when you joined Jeongguk and his group of friends at a karaoke bar. You hit it off with Jimin in particular that night, and your friendship has only been getting better ever since.

Jeongguk watches with a lopsided smile as you scurry back to the bathroom to dry your hair. You haven’t even decided on an outfit yet. “What do I even wear?”

On your bed, Jeongguk is looking through your clothes. He holds up a red skirt without thinking, just simply liking the color of it.. “What about this?” He calls out to you, having no idea at all what you could possibly wear to go see a dance performance. You open the bathroom door slightly to look at him and the piece of clothing in his hand.

“A flaming red miniskirt?” You question, raising a single eyebrow at him. He catches your tone and drops it to the floor, looking for something else.

He tries again as he holds up a pair of light denim jeans with a cute, hesitating smile on his face. “Jeans?”

You grin, nodding, “much better.”

The place is crowded once you and Jeongguk arrive at the theatre where Jimin is going to perform. You look around, trying to see if you can spot Jimin. You want to wish him good luck before he gets on stage. Just as you locate him, he looks up and locks eyes with you. You wave excitingly, grabbing Jeongguk’s arm and pulling him towards his own best friend. Jeongguk lets you drag him along with a small smile on his lips.

“Hey, you guys made it!” Jimin beamed, hugging you tightly. You smile as Jimin gives you a light squeeze before pulling away.

Jeongguk grins at his best friend. “We wouldn’t miss it, hyung.”

Jimin pats Jeongguk on the shoulder in an appreciative manner. “Well, take a seat. The show is starting in 15 minutes or so,” he gestures to the seats, “I have to get backstage before the stylists have my ass for not being ready on time.”

You chuckle, not surprised that Jimin is one to always struggle with being on time. It has happened once or twice before.

“Good luck!” You make sure to tell him. Beside you, Jeongguk offers his hyung an encouraging smile and a thumbs up. Jimin gives your hand a squeeze before heading off to backstage. You both watch him run off, the stylist already smacking his arm as she tells him to sit down. You glance at Jeongguk who’s already laughing because of his best friend. “Where do you wanna sit?” You ask him.

He shrugs, “you decide, I’m happy anywhere.” You nod and purse your lips, looking over the theatre.

“Let’s just sit here,” you point to the seats right beside you. Jeongguk agrees, his hand coming up to rest against the small of your back as to tell you to sit first. Your skin tingles underneath your shirt at his touch, his hand strong but soft on you and lingering a tad bit longer than necessary. You sit down, Jeongguk plopping down beside you. His hand is resting on the armrest between the two of you and it takes all in you to not let your own rest on top of his.

To say your crush on Jeongguk had become less and less the past 9 months would be a total lie. If anything, it has only become worse and yet you can’t get yourself to tell him because you’re sure he doesn’t feel the same way. He’s still the ‘Jeon’ you met at the party almost a year ago, his fuckboy tendencies coming through once in a while and you’ve seen girls leave his room in the morning when you’d arrive at his place to hang out. And it hurt slightly every single time but you’ve never considered telling him why it hurts. He doesn’t even know it hurts you. But then again, here he is on a Saturday night, spending his evening with you to watch Jimin’s dance performance when in reality, he has seen Jimin perform multiple times. More times than he can count and it’s nothing new to him. He could be balls deep in some random girl right now and yet he’s here. With you. And his leg is brushing against yours, his shoulder is also touching you. It would be so easy to just tangle your fingers through his but your insecurities and doubt stop you from doing anymore. You sigh deeply, leaning back in your seat.

Jeongguk notices the heavy sigh you let out, looking at you with slight worry in his eyes. “Everything okay?”

You nod, offering him a soft smile. “Yeah, just a bit tired,” you answer him, a small yawn escaping your lips. It was partly true. You can tell he doesn’t quite believe you but decides against it, not wanting to push you into telling him.

Jimin’s performance starts right then. The lights dimmed down as he appears on stage along with a group of other people, his dance team that consists of other guys. Some of them are also Jeongguk’s friends; Taehyung and Hoseok. You watch with wide, exciting eyes, feeling very proud of Jimin for finally doing this performance when you know how much he has been working on it and how time consuming it has been for him. What you don’t notice throughout the entire performance is that Jeongguk is occasionally watching you instead of the performance, his heart beating just a tad bit faster whenever you almost catch him.

When Jimin finishes and bows to the crowd, you stand up for an applause, smiling widely as he thanks everyone by bowing one more time and then heading off stage.

Jeongguk taps your shoulder, motioning his head as if to tell you to leave. “Let’s go find him,” he says over the music that’s still playing. You nod, grabbing your things and following right behind. You squeal, happy and excited as you spot Jimin by the stage. He turns around just as you reach him, engulfing him in a tight hug. Jeongguk stands by behind you, watching you hug the living shit out of his best friend. It doesn’t feel right, he thinks to himself.

“You were amazing!” You cheered, squeezing him tightly as he did to you earlier. He laughs at your gushing excitement as you pull apart, thanking you and flashing you that charming smile of his.

Jimin glances at Jeongguk, smiling lips falling into a straight line. You don’t notice but Jeongguk is glaring at Jimin and Jimin knows exactly why. He scratches the back of his head, glancing back at his team before looking back at you and Jeongguk.

“We, um, we’re headed to a bar downtown. You guys wanna join?”

You look at Jeongguk briefly before smiling at Jimin, nodding, “sure.”

“Great! We’re leaving in a few, I just need to pack up my stuff,” Jimin grins and heads over to his team. You spot two people that you know — Hoseok and Taehyung. Taehyung caught your eye a lot during the performance, his mop of curly black hair stood out a lot and the way he was so into the performance and the mood of the songs. Truly mesmerising. 

Jeongguk clears his throat beside you, letting you know that he’s still right beside you. Your cheeks heat up at the possible chance of being caught ogling a bit too long at Taehyung. 

“Let’s go,” you pipe up, leaving Jeongguk’s side to go find Jimin again. The tension that’s starting to form is too intense for you right now. You feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you as you walk away and up to Jimin. Jeongguk’s heart drops a little when he can tell that you decide to walk with Jimin all the way to the bar downtown. He doesn’t get to stand there and grumble too long because Hoseok and Taehyung are quick to pull him along, dragging him in the same direction you and Jimin left in.

Your laughter sounds like a sweet melody to Jeongguk as he watches you from his seat at the bar, laughing at something Taehyung says to you. You’ve been sitting beside Taehyung for the past two hours, laughing and having a good time which is great but Jeongguk doesn’t like how close to you Taehyung is sitting and he certainly doesn’t like the way you have to touch Taehyung’s arm every time you laugh at something he says. Jeongguk takes a swig of his beer as Jimin plops down on the seat beside him. Jimin follows his line of sight, sighing deeply once he realizes what has caused him to become so quiet. 

“Dude, you’re gonna burn holes in their skulls if you keep staring like that,” Jimin calls out, snapping Jeongguk out of his own thoughts.

Jeongguk sighs, taking his eyes off you and Taehyung. “Yeah,” he trails off.

Eyeing him carefully, Jimin places a hand on his shoulder. “If it’s that bad, why don’t you just go talk to her?” He suggests, the tone sounding hesitant.

Jeongguk glances at Jimin. “You know I can’t do that,” he grumbles, turning his back to you and Taehyung, facing the bar instead. 

Jimin nods as he remembers why. “Sure, but can you explain it to me again? I still don’t see the point.”

Rolling his eyes, Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair only for it to fall back into his eyes. He really needed a haircut soon, he thinks to himself.

“I can’t tell her how I feel because that’d ruin our friendship and I’d rather have her be my friend than nothing at all,” he explains to Jimin as if it’s obvious. And it was true. Jeongguk’s straight up terrified that you’ll find out how he really feels about you and then proceed to end your friendship. It’s a risk he isn’t willing to take, maybe someday but just not yet.

Jimin hums to himself. “What if she feels the same then?” Jeongguk stays silent. “Ever thought about that possibility?”

Shaking his head, he sighs, almost sounding like he has given up on you already. “Listen, I just know that she doesn’t. She wouldn’t be over there with Tae right now if that was the case- Ow! What the hell was that for?”

He rubs the back of his head, pouting lightly at his best friend. Jimin shakes his head. “You’re dumber than I thought,” he concludes before getting up from his seat and heading back to the table where the rest of his dance team is sitting. 

Jeongguk slumps in his seat, dropping his head into his hand. Jimin is right; he really is dumb. But as he glances back at you and sees the wide smile on your face, the same smile he can get out of you with his stupid jokes and goofy faces, he just knows that he wouldn’t be able to live without you even if it meant he got to tell you how he really feels. Jeongguk turns his back to the scene that is you and Taehyung again, finishing his bottle of beer before ordering a new one.

It isn’t even him who walks you home to your dorm that night. Taehyung gets the chance and swoops right in, offering to walk you home. You let him without hesitation and Jeongguk can only stand back, watching you walk off with Taehyung by your side. And it doesn’t go unnoticed, neither by him or Jimin, that you also forgot to hug your best friend goodnight. Jimin offers Jeongguk an apologetic smile, patting his shoulder and wishing him a good night before heading home with Hoseok, who’s also his roommate besides being his teammate.

Jeongguk is pretty sure everyone who passes by him on his way home can hear the sound of his heart breaking a bit more for every step he takes. But what does it matter? You don’t want this broken heart anyway.

“I’m thinking about moving out of the frat house.”

Your eyes widen in surprise and you choke on the coffee Jeongguk had just served you, coughing lightly and holding a “one second” hand up to Jeongguk who looks at you worried. Once your coughing dies down, you look at him, still surprised.

“You what?”

Jeongguk chuckles in his seat across from you. “I don’t feel like staying at the frat house anymore,” he shrugs, “I earn enough from working here to find my own place.”

Jeongguk’s little part time job at the campus café actually does pay him a good amount of money, but you wouldn’t expect anything else since he’s here more than he’s in class. The hours he dedicates to this place also gives him the right to chill in a booth with you during his shift because the owner of the shop gives him that much freedom. He has her hooked around his little finger and she doesn’t even know it. You smile at the thought, knowing very well that every single woman — old and young — would let Jungkook do whatever he wants after being flashed that charming smile of his. You guess that’s just the way his charms work.

“What’s on your mind?” Jeongguk asks, tapping your forehead to get you back to earth.

Your cheeks turn pink, “sorry.”

Jeongguk smiles at you, eyes glinting like they always do behind that long hair. “Actually, I already found a place I would like to rent, it’s not far from campus and it’s the perfect size even though it’s a 3-bedroom apartment,” he tells you. You smile, happy for him.

“That’s great, Gguk!” You beamed. “I’m happy for you.”

He did say 3-bedroom apartment though. Does that mean he’ll get himself a roommate? Your head fills with possible options for a roommate for him. Jimin could be a good one, but he already lives off campus with Hoseok. Taehyung lives by himself in a studio apartment, so that wasn’t an option either. He could ask that other guy he sometimes hangs out with, that one from his photography class and his frat house too. Namjoon, was it? You purse your lips, several faces showing up in your mind. Jeongguk clears his throat across from you, bringing you back once again.

“You’re zoning out a lot today,” he states, concern covering his face. You chuckle. 

“I was just thinking about who you could ask to be your roommate,” you tell him and Jeongguk opens his mouth to speak up but you continue, “most of your friends already live off campus but you could ask that Namjoon fella, he still lives in the frat house, right?”

Jeongguk nods.

“He seems like a nice guy,” you ponder, finger tapping your chin. “You could just find some stranger too, but that’s quite a risk, isn’t it? Personally, I would prefer someone I know already, but you do you.”

You hear him sigh in defeat as you ramble on. “Or what about-”

Jeongguk cuts you off. “I already know who I’m gonna ask,” he blurts.

“Oh.” You fall silent. 

“Yeah,” Jeongguk says, “she’s rambling her ass off right now and she does that a lot to be honest, so I don’t know if I still wanna ask her.”

Your cheeks are burning as Jeongguk smirks at you, knowing very well that you’re aware he’s talking about you. Composing yourself, you sit upright in your seat. “Well, what if she doesn’t wanna move out of her dorm?”

Jeongguk chuckles sarcastically. “Oh, but she does,” he snickered, “with the amount of times she has complained about the shitty shower in her room, I’m convinced she’s just waiting for the opportunity to get out of there.” 

“Am not!” You defend yourself even though you know he’s right. 

Jeongguk laughs. “Shut up.”

You cross your arms over your chest, pretending to be offended but you can’t hold the act for long as you burst into laughter. “Okay, you’re right. I really do hate that shower.”

“Thought so,” Jeongguk smirks lightly. He stands from his seat, knowing he has to get back to work before the customers think he’s some lazy barista. He offers you another one of those charming smiles of his. “You’re my best friend, ___. I can’t imagine anyone else in that room other than you. So just think about it, yeah?”

You nod, smiling. You watch him walk off, heading for the cashier. He moves around the counter, patting the other cute barista boy (he’s a sophomore and he basically idolizes Jeongguk) on the shoulder as he passes by him and continues out to the back of the café. You turn back to your laptop and books, smiling to yourself as you take another sip of your coffee, made (with a tiny amount of love, but you don’t know that) by Jeongguk.

You don’t get too much time to yourself and your assignment before a certain dancer slips into the seat Jeongguk was in previously. You glance up at Jimin, who’s smiling slyly at you. You give him a confused but curious look, closing your laptop screen. “What?”

He nods his head in Jeongguk’s direction. “Did he ask you?”

“Asked me what?”

Jimin rolls his eyes. “Don’t play dumb, you know what I’m talking about.”

You shrug. “He did,” you squint at him as he cheers, clapping his hands.

“Well,” he gushes, “did you say yes?” His excitement is bouncing off the walls as he leans over the table. You’re close to getting a whiplash from his quickly changing expression as you watch his face fall not even two seconds later. “Did you say no? Why?”

You shake your head, not able to keep up with him. “Calm down, will you? I didn’t even get to answer you.”

Jimin breathes out and slumps back in his seat. “Sorry,” he pouts but grins nevertheless, “I’m just excited.”

“You don’t say,” you mumble under your breath. “I didn’t give him an answer yet, he told me to think about it.”

Across from you, Jimin smiles at you - his smile hinting at something. You let out a small groan. “Jimin! I know what you’re thinking and no, I’m not gonna do it.”

“What?” Jimin exclaims, hands up in surrender. “You don’t even know what I was gonna say.”

Now it’s your time to roll your eyes because yes, you do in fact know what he’s about to say. Jimin has been pestering you ever since he met you about the fact that you’re ‘pining’ after Jeongguk, your feelings on your sleeve and obvious to anyone around you, except for Jeongguk. The fact that you haven’t even told Jimin how you feel about Jeongguk just shows how well Jimin reads people and apparently you’re like an open book, especially to Jimin. Not to certain others.

“Have you ever thought about the possibility that he might like you too?” Jimin questions you, the same question he asked Jeongguk at the bar the other night. You nod your head at this, sighing deeply in exasperation.

“I have, Jimin, I really have,” you mumble, “but it’s obvious he doesn’t feel the same way. I can just tell that I’m nothing but a good friend to him.”

Jimin might scream at the both of you very soon. How blind and stupid can people actually be?

“If you say so,” he backtracks. You lean back in your seat, pen coming up to lay between your teeth. You bite on it as you stare at nothing in particular, Jeongguk is filling up your brain like he lives there rent free. “Look, ___,” Jimin catches your attention again, “accept his offer, maybe you’ll be surprised.”

He gives you a friendly, comforting smile and a squeeze of your hand before he gets up. He waves at Jeongguk who stands behind the counter again before leaving the café. His words linger around you. “Maybe you’ll be surprised.” Jimin had said and you wonder why he would say that. You know Jeongguk quite well even after less than a year as friends; what could possibly surprise you at this point?

Maybe it wouldn’t be that bad to live in the same place as Jeongguk. This thought has appeared in your head for the past hours since you left the café. Now you’re sitting here, in your bed with a Netflix show, which you’re not paying attention to, running through several episodes. Jeongguk’s proposition has been raking up your mind since he left you to yourself at the café. It’s like he knew you would have to think about it when he told you to do exactly that.

And as you sit here, thoughts running at full speed, you try to come up with pros and cons for living under the same roof as your bff #1. Pros are that you get a nice shower every time you have to bath, you will live off Jeongguk’s delicious gastronomic talent and you’ll have your best friend close to you at all times. Cons would be the possibility of getting tired of each other even though you already spend five out of seven days together during the week. Another con would be witnessing girls leave his room and your apartment in the morning after having heard her scream his name all night. That specific thought makes a weird, not-so-great feeling appear in your stomach, making you frown deeply. But you will have to realize sooner or later that Jeongguk won’t ever see you that way and that this crush of yours is a lost cause. Maybe it really is time to just get over it. You sigh deeply, grabbing your phone off the nightstand to send Jeongguk a text.

you [11:38 pm]: i’ll do it, but you gotta make me delicious food every day

You wait for his reply, staring at your screen. Heart hammers wildly as three dots appear on the screen. Your breath hitches in your throat as you read his reply.

gguk [11:40 pm]: anything for you princess ;)

Jeongguk has never in these months of you knowing him, called you a nickname like that. And the way your cheeks blush as you imagine him saying it, tells on you. You love it.

Jeongguk groans as he puts down your last box on the floor of your new bedroom. It’s a box with all your English books and there’s a lot. “Have you even read all of these?”

You stop in your little project of hanging up all your precious polaroid pictures, turning to look at him. You scoff, lying as you say: “yes, of course.”

He smirks lightly, giving you a look that says ‘nice try’. You laugh to yourself, turning back around to your polaroids. 

Jeongguk plops down on your bed, head laying on his hands as he brings them up behind his head. Today is a day for the books, you thought to yourself when he first arrived along with Jimin to get all your boxes and shove them into Jimin’s tiny car. He’s wearing blue jeans again, which you absolutely love on him, and he has styled them simply with a black t-shirt, showing off his tattooed right arm. You’ve been staring at him quite a few times since you arrived at the apartment you and Jeongguk have rented together. And it wasn’t helping how his arms kept flexing as he carried your boxes with all your shit up to your new bedroom.

He watches you in silence as you hang up the polaroids, standing with one in particular a bit longer. You smile as you reach down, showing it to him. “It’s us,” you smile softly.

Jeongguk takes the polaroid from your fingers, holding it closer to his face to see it better. It’s a polaroid photo taken at the Han River from that one night where you went out to eat dinner with his friends and some of your girlfriends. You had brought your polaroid camera along, hoping to catch some memories with it tonight. Jeongguk had noticed it that evening, grabbing it from your purse and snapping a ‘selfie’ of the two of you.

He smiles at the photo, remembering that evening as clear as if it was yesterday. That evening was one of the first times Jeongguk realized that he was indeed absolutely smitten by you and that you had him wrapped around your finger. You just didn’t know and you still don’t. “That was a great night,” he reminisces, handing you the photo back. You hang it up on the wall, right in the middle of all the others.

“Yeah,” you sigh deeply, “it was.”

Jeongguk claps his hands on his thighs as he sits up on the edge of your bed. You plop down beside him. “Pizza for dinner?” He suggests.

You nod frantically, “yes, please.”

And that’s how you and Jeongguk end up on the couch, watching that stupid movie with Gong Yoo. You’re completely sucked into that movie, mouth open in awe as you watch Gong Yoo unfolding his charms on the tv-screen. “Wow,” you breathe out as he kisses the main female character. Jeongguk scoffs from beside you, rolling his eyes before dropping his head backwards. The ceiling is more interesting than that ridiculous movie.

“Why is everyone so obsessed with this guy?” he asks, looking back at the screen again.

You shoot him a glare. “Are you sure you're not jealous?”

Jeongguk gasps dramatically, pretending to be offended by your words as he places a hand over his heart. “Am not!”

“Am too!” You laugh, scooting closer to him on the couch. “Admit it, you don’t like Gong Yoo because he’s getting a lot more attention than you.”

Scoffing again, Jeongguk knows that’s a lie and suddenly feeling like he needs to prove a point. He has girls waiting for him, not that you don’t know that. He smirks at you and says: “You know that’s a big fat lie, ___.”

You cock a brow at him. “You’re so full of yourself,” you scoff and get off the couch, taking the pizza boxes with you to clean up, “and you’re jealous, it’s obvious.”

Jeongguk scoffs right back at you as he gets up to follow you into the kitchen. “I am not jealous of some actor,” he states, “I have no reason to be.” You sigh to yourself, your back facing him as he leans in the doorway to the kitchen. You know very well that he has no reason to be jealous of some actor and you certainly don’t need him to remind you. He watches you clean up with a frown. “___.”

“What, Gguk?” You laugh humorlessly, turning to face him. “I get it, you’re hot and a woman magnet and so on, you don’t have to explain it to me.”

He smirks lightly, pushing himself off the wall and stepping closer to you. “Who’s the jealous one now?” He chuckled, arms crossed over his chest as he towers over you. You groan and push at him, making him take a step back from you.

“You’re so annoying,” you grumbled, moving around him and out of the kitchen. Jeongguk watches you walk away towards your bedroom. “Goodnight, roomie,” you call out, waving a hand over your head without glancing back at him. There was a tone of sarcasm in your voice. The door to your bedroom being closed as Jeongguk sighs to himself, wandering his way to his own bedroom. As soon as his head hits the pillow, he’s asleep. The day must’ve been more tiring than he had thought. A nice memory of him and a pretty girl at the Han River fills up his mind as he dozes off into the night.

The next morning you’re sitting at the dining table, laptop and books out. Your reading glasses are resting on the bridge of your nose and your hair is in a messy bun, making you look relaxed as you study for whatever class you have coming up. Jeongguk strolls out of his bedroom, no shirt… only a pair of grey sweatpants. You glance at him as he passes by you, heading directly for the fridge. You can hear him rustle around for a bowl and a spoon. A minute later he joins you at the dining table, a bowl of fruit loops in front of him.

“Morning,” he says softly, voice still hoarse from waking up. Your stomach tingles at the sound and you mentally slap yourself for being such a wimp for him. You don’t give him a response, continuing to read in your book and type away on your laptop. You can feel him glancing at you occasionally as he eats his cereal. Jeongguk pouts lightly, sighing deeply as you don’t pay him any attention. This is not how he expected the first morning in the apartment to be like. He grumbles to himself for a bit, contemplating on what to say to fill out the silence that has overcome the two of you. An idea pops into his head. 

“Hey, I was thinking,” he starts, making you look at him briefly. You focus back on your laptop. Jeongguk falls silent.

“I’m listening,” you tell him, voice soft. “I just gotta finish this, but I’m listening.”

Jeongguk nods, hands fumbling. Why was he suddenly so nervous around you? There is absolutely no reason to be. Was it the tone from last time in which you had told him goodnight and then left him to himself that had him so on edge? He can’t really tell.

“I was thinking that we could have a small get-together with our friends, like a moving-in party?” He suggests. This idea actually sounds interesting, you think to yourself as you look back at him. Jeongguk smiles softly, continuing: “We can just invite the guys I usually hang with and then you can invite Lisa and Jisoo?”

You nod, smiling. “That does sound fun,” you agree on his idea, “let’s do it.”

A grin appears on Jeongguk’s lips. “Tonight? If people are able to make it with such short notice?”

Again, you nod. “I’m sure they don’t have more important stuff to attend on this Saturday evening,” you chuckle, knowing your friends and the fact that they rarely have much to do except for school, work and hanging out with each other. Same goes for Jeongguk’s friends. 

“You’re right,” Jeongguk laughs, feeling more at ease now that you’ve joked around with him a bit instead of just sitting there in silence and not really noticing him. It feels better when you laugh, joke around and talk like you usually do without the annoyed and slightly jealous tone. “I’ll text around, asking them to come over tonight.”

You nod lightly, watching him get up from his seat and bringing his cereal bowl to the kitchen. “Remember to tell them to bring their own alcohol! We have nothing in this house yet,” you call out, chuckling slightly. You really didn’t. You almost didn’t have any food either. Maybe today calls for a shopping trip to the supermarket. You turn back to your laptop, eager to finish the assignment and then getting to the supermarket to buy snacks and some food for your empty kitchen cupboards. Maybe Jeongguk can join you on the trip there.

“You think this is enough?” Jeongguk wonders out loud as he places the bowls of snacks down on the coffee table. You join him a few seconds later, a bunch of glasses in your arms for the beverage. Jeongguk notices you joggling all those glasses, rushing to your side with wide eyes to take some from you.

“Thanks,” you softly say, letting him take most of the glasses and placing them down on the table as well. He smiles sweetly in return. “I think it’s enough, we have a few extra chips bags in the cupboard.”

“Perfect,” Jeongguk grins, clapping his hands and rubbing them together in excitement. “This is gonna be fun, I didn’t expect everyone to say yes but they’re literally all coming here in like ten minutes.”

You chuckle softly, making Jeongguk’s stomach do small backflips. He ignores them as he plops down on the couch. “I’m excited,” you sigh, plopping down beside him.

Jeongguk nods, smiling still. “Me too,” he murmurs.

You and Jeongguk fall into small-talk as you wait for your guests to arrive. A bit more than ten minutes pass and the first guest knocks on the door. Jeongguk gets up to let them in, not getting to say much before he’s engulfed in a tight hug by Hoseok. “Hey man,” Hoseok grins, squeezing Jeongguk tightly. He pats him on the back before letting go and walking further inside. Jimin and Taehyung follow right behind, both giving Jeongguk one of those guy hugs.

You lock eyes with Taehyung, his eyes lighting up at the sight of you. He lets go of Jeongguk to make his way to you, smiling widely. He looks really good, you think to yourself as he stops in front of you. His dark hair was curlier and more unruly than the last time you saw him which was only a few days ago. His smile was wide and bright as always, and his eyes a warm, dark brown. “Hey,” he greets you, smiling.

“Hi,” you reply, leaning closer to give him a hug. Jeongguk is closing the door behind Jimin as he glances your way and notices how Taehyung is already at your side, hugging you. He feels himself become slightly frustrated but Jimin is quick to push a hand against his chest, stopping him from walking over to you and make himself look stupid.

“Don’t,” he shakes his head at Jeongguk, eyeing him down until Jeongguk looks slightly less like he could punch Taehyung in the face right now. His jealousy is starting to get the best of him. He watches you, noticing how you smile that specific smile whenever you get flustered or complimented. Jimin glances in the direction of you and Taehyung, sighing as he looks back at Jeongguk. “You don’t get to be like this, Gguk. Not when you haven’t done anything to get her yourself.”

Jeongguk breathes out deeply, taking his eyes away from the relationship that’s starting to unfold in front of his eyes. Jimin is right, once again. He has no right to get all worked up and angry at the thought of you with Taehyung. At least Taehyung has the balls to actually flirt with you. Jeongguk feels like it backfires every time he tries to. Maybe it just isn’t meant to be you and him. With one glance at you and Taehyung, he joins Jimin in the kitchen to get himself a beer.

The night goes on, the rest of your friends arriving not long after Taehyung, Hoseok and Jimin. Lisa and Jisoo sit with you at the dining table, having fun as all of you laugh loudly at whatever you’re talking about. Jeongguk has been watching you tonight more than he’d like to admit, almost being caught a few times. But he was quick enough to look away before you could lock eyes with him. He hasn’t spoken much to you since your friends had arrived which made his heart fall a bit further into his stomach. 

You glance in his direction, smiling softly. Jeongguk smiles back at you, deciding to get up and talk to you for the first time in hours. Grabbing his beer off the table, he’s about to get up and make his way to you, but he quickly stops in his tracks. Taehyung appears out of nowhere, standing close to you. His hands are resting on your shoulders as you look up at him. He smiles and says something Jeongguk can’t make out. You get up from your seat, letting Taehyung take your hand in his and guide you to the small balcony that is in you and Jeongguk’s apartment. 

Jeongguk doesn’t notice Lisa and Jisoo looking at him, sad smiles on their faces as his face drops and he heads for the kitchen instead, walking past them. You nor Jeongguk knows that the two girls are secretly rooting for the two of you to finally get out of your heads and actually date. It has been too long of this pining after one another, but you’re both in denial no matter how much either Lisa, Jisoo, Jimin or whoever it is, tells you to confess to each other. Lisa gets up from her seat, letting Jisoo know she’ll be right back. 

Lisa sighs deeply at the sight when she enters the kitchen. Jeongguk is hunched over the kitchen counter, head in his hands. She walks up to him, leaning against the counter beside him. Jeongguk senses her presence, grumbling lightly. “What?”

She scoffs, throwing a slap to his back causing him to stand up and face her. He glares at her, but he doesn’t say anything as he leans back against the counter, arms crossed over his chest. He’s frowning deeply, looking at the floor. “What’s going on with you?” Lisa asks, even though she knows what’s up. Jeongguk glances quickly at her before diverting his gaze back to the floor.

“Nothing,” he shrugs.

Lisa scoffs again, not believing any of his bullshit. “Bullshit, Jeon. I know this is about ___.”

He can’t help but roll his eyes at the mention of your name. He’s about to have had enough of talking about you and his feelings for you. Jeongguk is quite literally wearing his heart on his sleeve for everyone to see and yet you’re the only one who doesn’t notice. “I just needed a moment to myself,” he mumbles, sighing deeply before taking a swig of his 4th or 5th beer of tonight.

Lisa nods, “I get that. I mean, she did go with Tae just as you were about to approach her.”

“Yup,” Jeongguk pops the ‘p’, another sip of his beer down his throat. “She’s with Tae, probably already head over heels for him.”

The annoyance in his tone and the slight disgust makes Lisa sigh. “Listen, Jeongguk, you’re doing nothing. You walk around, hang out with her and now you live with her and she still doesn’t know. ___ is blind as hell and she won’t know about your feelings if you don’t acknowledge them yourself.”

“I know,” Jeongguk groans, “but I just don’t- I don’t think she’ll ever see me like I see her.”

Lisa pats his shoulder, giving him a smile that probably is supposed to comfort him but it only makes him feel like she’s pitying him. “Just think about telling her how you feel instead of getting hurt every time someone else does what you could be doing.”

And with that, she leaves him alone in the kitchen again. Staying in his place for a few minutes, he contemplates going out to the balcony and demanding to talk to you, even if it means he has to interrupt your conversation with Taehyung. He empties his beer, leaving it behind as he makes his way to the balcony. He opens the door slightly, slipping outside to see you there with your hand in Taehyung’s. His face drops a little along with his heart. He covers it well with a small smile, his heart hammering hard inside his chest still.

“Hey Tae,” he says, “can I steal ___ for a bit?”

Taehyung nods at his younger friend, looking back at you. “So Friday then?” Taehyung smiles at you.

Friday? What happens Friday?

Jeongguk looks at you, awaiting your answer like Taehyung. “Yep,” you nod, smiling softly back at the curly-haired man in front of you.

“Awesome, it’s a date then,” he grins and lets go of your hand, heading back inside. Jeongguk moves to the side, letting Taehyung through the door. You glance at your roommate slash best friend, watching him as he moves closer. Silence overcomes you for the second time today and Jeongguk finds it unbearable. There’s usually never silence between you or around you, only when you have study dates and even then you always end up chatting instead of actually studying. 

Jeongguk clears his throat to break the silence. “So a date, huh?”

You look at him, a small hesitant smile on your lips but it looks closer to being a frown than an actual smile. “Yeah,” you trail off, finger fumbling as you lean over the balcony fence. Jeongguk’s hands are in his pockets but he feels them itching, dying to grab your fumbling ones.

“He’s a great guy,” Jeongguk suddenly blurts. You look at him confused. “Taehyung, I mean.”

You nod slowly, wondering where this conversation is going.

“But he loves girls, ___,” he rambles on, “you know, like, he has a hard time focusing on just one.”

Your face becomes hard, slightly offended on Taehyung’s behalf as the words leave Jeongguk’s mouth. “Oh, so he’s like you?”

Jeongguk falls silent at your words and it feels like a low blow. He sighs and frowns, looking away from you, staring at the almost empty street below. You can’t help but feel slightly guilty from saying that but it’s not a lie. Jeongguk has a booty call or two during the week, always having someone to contact whenever he needs his dick wet. But you still feel bad for firing off such a harsh comment.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, softly touching his bicep before heading back inside, leaving Jeongguk alone on the balcony.

You’re right, he thinks, but it’s only you who actually matters to him.

Two months have passed since your moving-in party, and things have been a bit tense around the apartment ever since. Taehyung has visited the apartment more often than any of your shared friends, but not for Jeongguk’s company. No, yours. And even though Jeongguk really has no say in your relationship with Taehyung, he still can’t help himself as he finds it ridiculous. He can tell you’re not as much in it as Taehyung is and it’s quite painful to watch. Why you’re not as into it as him is still a mystery to Jeongguk.

Today is no different as Jeongguk sits on the couch, watching his favorite cartoon when the doorbell rings. He groans lowly as he gets up from the couch to open the door. Taehyung appears in front of him, his big and unruly curly hair taking all the attention. Dude should get a haircut, Jeongguk thinks to himself as he leaves the door open for Taehyung to enter. 

“Hey man,” Taehyung greets Jeongguk, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “Is ___ home?”

Jeongguk cocks a single eyebrow. Shouldn’t he have checked that before coming here. “She’s in the shower,” he tells Taehyung, plopping back down on the couch. Taehyung nods, thanking him quietly before heading for your bedroom. Jeongguk watches him, grumbling under his breath because he’s starting to get tired of seeing Taehyung’s face that often during the week. He sighs to himself, trying to focus on his cartoon show instead of the sounds of you giggling inside your room.

Long hours pass before Jeongguk hears Taehyung leaving, the clock striking eleven in the evening before he’s out of you and Jeongguk’s apartment. He did leave quite in a rush though, making Jeongguk curious. He leaves his laptop on as he gets up from his bed to go to your bedroom. He knocks on your slightly opened door, peeking inside. You’re nowhere to be seen making him frown and furrow his eyebrows. He hears shuffling in the kitchen as he moves to the living room. When he reaches the doorway to the kitchen, he leans against it. You’re moving around, rummaging through the cupboards for something, dressed in pajamas shorts and an oversized t-shirt, one that looks awfully a lot like one of his.

“What are you looking for?” Jeongguk calls out, making you jump in surprise. You hold a hand to your chest as you turn to look at him, eyes wide. Jeongguk smirks lightly at your shocked expression, noticing the light blush that appears on your cheeks.

You turn your back to him to continue to look through the cupboards. “Just some snacks, I’m craving some right now,” you tell your best friend who you have no idea is just behind you. You freeze in your actions as Jeongguk reaches up to grab his usual snack off the top shelf. He hands it to you, smiling softly. You squint at him, wondering why he’s giving you his favorite snacks and the last pack at that.

As if he can read your mind: “You can have them if you want.”

Smiling, you open the pack and pop one into your mouth, the crispy consistency making you sigh in content. Jeongguk laughs at your happy expression, knowing the way to your heart is usually through food. 

You grab another piece, holding it up to Jeongguk’s lips. He glances at it before opening his mouth and letting you feed him. His eyes are on yours the entire time as his lips brush your fingertips. Your heart leaps, making you pull your fingers back quickly. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to notice as he smiles, chewing the snack with the same happy expression you sported just moments ago.

“Let’s talk,” you suddenly blurt out, Jeongguk looking confused which causes you to explain further. “We haven’t like talked talked in a long time, so uh yeah, let’s talk?”

Your declaration has turned into a hesitant question as you wait, needing some kind of response.

“Sure,” he shrugs, smiling again. As he turns on his heel, you smile back and follow him into the living room. You plop down beside him on the couch, unintentionally letting your legs rest against his thigh as you pull them up under you. He glances at your bare legs for a second before diverting his eyes to you. “So what do you wanna talk about?”

You shrug, “I don’t know, life?”

Jeongguk chuckles, “life?”

You nod enthusiastically, smiling at him, “yes, life.”

He purses his lips, wondering if there’s anything to tell. You basically know most things already and not much has happened the past weeks except for the fact that his little ‘I’m in love with my best friend’ hasn’t resolved at all, and that he’s still hopelessly in love with you even though you have a boyfriend now. Which still seems surreal to him because it’s one of his friends whom he usually likes but not right now because well, yeah, he’s dating you. But there’s no way he’s actually going to tell you all of that.

“I don’t have anything to say,” he decides on saying, pouting playfully. You chuckle at his facial expression. He smiles at you, eyes going soft because you’re sitting so close to him for the first time in a long time and he feels relaxed. More relaxed than he has been for a while.

“Nothing much for me either,” you sigh, moving the pack of snacks closer to Jeongguk so he can eat some. “Tae asked me to come home with him for the fall break, he wants me to meet his parents.” You leave out the part where you broke up with Taehyung.

Jeongguk’s movements come to a halt, one banana crisp inches away from entering his mouth. “Really?”

You nod. Jeongguk notices how your tone was slightly hesitating and off as you told him about Taehyung’s request.

“Isn’t it a bit…” he trails off, not knowing which words to use without sounding like an asshole. You watch him as he searches for the words.

“A bit what, Gguk?” You press.

He sighs. “A bit over the top, maybe?”

You scoff lightly, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

Jeongguk panics as you move a bit away, your legs no longer touching his. You give him a look that tells him to explain what he means. He sits up, elbows resting on his knees. “Listen, I just think it’s a bit unnecessary since it’s obvious that this relationship isn’t as important to you than it is to Tae.”

“You don’t know that,” you tell him, voice stern. Jeongguk is right, but you’re not gonna tell him that. He hasn’t been talking much to you for the past months hence he has no idea what he’s talking about because you haven’t told him anything about your now ended relationship with Taehyung. Call you bitter, you don’t care. Your best friend hasn’t shown any interest in your life whatsoever for two months now and yes, you’re blaming him for the tension there is in this home.

Jeongguk lets out a small groan in frustration, “but I do, ___! I do know,” he insisted, turning to fully face you, “I can tell because you’re not looking at him the way he looks at you, you’re not fully there every time he’s kissing you goodbye by the door before he leaves. I’ve witnessed it enough to know that you don’t feel the same as he does.”

You’re silent as he talks, listening to everything he says but still holding onto the bitterness that you have for him in regards to his little to no interest in you for two whole months.

“Don’t you dare deny it, ____,” he snapped, “I know you and you don’t love him.”

Punch him. You want to punch him for knowing you so damn well and for seeing right through you. And you want to punch him for being so dumb and blind that he still hasn’t figured out why you’re not in love with Taehyung. How can he not see that he’s the one you love? You’ve been wearing your heart on your sleeve for the entire summer and more, slowly falling in love with him ever since that night he brought you to the frozen yoghurt shop downtown.

“You’re right. I don’t love him,” you mumble under your breath. Jeongguk glances at you, eyes still filled with a small amount of frustration and anger, all directed at you and only you. “But you have no right to tell me this when you haven’t been interested in me and my life for two fucking months, Jeongguk!”

Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow together in confusion, his heart slowly starting to beat faster because why are you fighting? What the hell just happened? “Wha-” 

You get up from your seat, moving further away from him and Jeongguk feels like you’re slipping right through his fingertips even though he hasn’t ever been the one to hold you. But he should have, he should’ve been the one to hold you from the start.

“You don’t get to do this, not now when we haven’t really spoken to each other for so long,” you jabbed, “it’s my fault too, but I don’t come at you for having several girls over, do I?”

Jeongguk sighs, running his hands over his face in aggravation. “___, you’re overreacting. I wasn’t trying to tell you anything, I was just-”

“No, Jeongguk. No,” you shake your head, sneering at him. “I don’t need you to tell me or suggest anything, I don’t need your input and I don’t need you to make a decision!”

Jeongguk gets up, moving towards you, face twisting in anger. “Tell me, ___. What is he to you, huh? What is he?”

You glare at him, eyes hard on like his own and you don’t falter one moment. This anger and frustration has been a long time coming now, from both of you. “You’ve said he’s your boyfriend, but what is he really? Is he a fuckbuddy? Is he just someone to get yourself off with, huh?”

“No, Jeongguk, fuck you!” You shout, defending whatever it is that you have with Taehyung. “He’s good company, and no, I don’t see him like he sees me. He’s nothing more than good company but I actually like being around him unlike someone else I know!”

Jeongguk chuckles flatly, no humor behind it as he steps back from you. Hurt flashes across his face as he gets what you just said. “I see how it is,” he nods, giving you one last hurt look before retreating to his room. You stand back, hand coming up to cover your mouth as a cry rakes through your body. You didn’t know you had been holding back tears, the emotions you have for Jeongguk being poured out in the form of heavy tears in the middle of your living room. You’re frozen in your spot, sobs shaking you as you hold yourself. The sound of Jeongguk slamming his hand against the wall makes you move out of your frozen spot. You quickly make your way to your own bedroom, slamming the door behind you. 

You slide under the covers, head feeling heavy as you let the tears fall. You didn’t intend to hurt Jeongguk the way you did, but you practically just shouted at him that you don’t like being around him, that his company isn’t good. It must’ve hurt him more than what you or he, himself, expected it to. You feel bad as you let your duvet engulf you whole, the taste of regret on your tongue as you keep repeating your own words in your head. 

“He’s nothing more than good company but I actually like being around him unlike someone else I know!”

How could you even say that when Jeongguk hasn’t been anything but great company for you? He has been even more than that, he has been a friend you needed more than you ever knew, a person so supportive and loving that you always felt like you had someone to come to whenever times were rough. And in the midst of all this, you managed to fall for him as well. He didn’t do much to make it happen, he was just himself from the very beginning of your friendship and you’ve seen sides to him not many people have witnessed and you know the real Jeon Jeongguk. The Jeongguk who loves his camera more than anything, the Jeongguk who loves food and snacks and banana milk as if he was five years old again. The Jeongguk who’s such a softie, when you first get to know him like you do, that half of it would be more than enough. The Jeongguk who loves with his entire being, always putting his loved ones before himself – including you.

You sigh deeply, hating yourself for shouting such inaccurate words at him. You had to make it up to him, apologize to him for being so inconsiderate when all he did was trying to make you realize that the relationship you have with Taehyung is a waste of time. Jeongguk is right, you know he is. You don’t love Taehyung and you know you never will. The feelings just aren’t there, they’re elsewhere with someone who’s been worthy of them since what feels like forever.

Sleep doesn't overcome you as you stay in bed, staring at the ceiling. You’ve been tossing and turning for the past few hours, trying your very hardest to fall asleep ever since the fight you had with Jeongguk.You glance at the clock on your nightstand that’s reading 3 am — you have a morning lecture to attend in 6 hours. You let out a heavy sigh. Eyebrows furrowed together in frustration and your lips in a pout because why the fuck are you not able to sleep? Your eyes feel heavy from crying, but your best friend is taking up all your thoughts and the feelings you have for him are almost bursting out of your chest.

You groan to yourself as you roll over, pulling the duvet over your head. Closing your eyes, you try again for the umpteenth time. “I just wanna sleep,” you whine to yourself, but it’s no help. You give up on sleep.

You’re only half aware of what’s happening as you get out of bed and leave your bedroom, heading for Jeongguk’s bedroom. You stop in your tracks in front of his door. Maybe he’s also up, you think to yourself as you reach for the doorknob, turning it lightly. Peeking inside his dark room, you notice him fast asleep in his bed. You softly smile through the evident feeling of regret which is still heavy in your stomach. Without further thinking, you slip inside his room and close the door. You tiptoe over to his bed, glancing over him once again.

He looks peaceful, eyes shut and eyelashes touching the top of his cheek. Yet there’s a crease on his forehead and a slight frown upon his lips. The corner of your lips turn into a frown, copying his features unintentionally. Your eyes rake over the rest of his body. The duvet is only halfway covering him, from the waist and down. his naked chest is rising and falling as he breathes deeply. A soft tingle runs through your stomach as you carefully crawl onto his bed. You lift the duvet and slip under, sliding closer to him. He stirs in his sleep, turning over onto his side. you glance up at his face, noticing his eyes slightly open. You can barely see him in the darkness, but you can feel him looking at you.

“Hey,” he whispers into the darkness.

You smile, a sad smile, but he can’t see it. “Hi.”

“Can’t sleep?” He asks, voice soft yet hoarse. He moves a bit, trying to lay comfortably while creating more space for you. He’s careful not to touch you. 

You shake your head at his question. “Not really,” you mumble.

You scoot closer, hand reaching out to touch his that is lying between the two of you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper softly into the night. Jeongguk turns his hand, letting you intertwine your fingers with his. 

“For what?” He mutters quietly.

You breathe out shakily as Jeongguk is now the one to move closer to you. You let out a sigh, relaxing as his forehead rests against yours, his breathing clashing with your own.

“For the things I said, for shouting at you, for insulting you,” you explain, voice still soft and low as if someone outside would be able to hear you. “I didn’t mean any of it, I just-”

You stop yourself, hesitating. Should you just tell him? Tell him why you don’t love Taehyung when you have plenty of reasons to do so? Jeongguk senses the inner battle you’re having with yourself, his hand squeezing yours to let you know that you can tell him whatever it is that you have on your mind, reassuring you that he’s listening. “I don’t love Taehyung,” you sigh, “I broke up with him tonight… And there’s a pretty good reason for this.”

Jeongguk nods, humming in response because he already knows, it just took him insanely long to realize. Your thundering heart and shaky breath gave you away the moment he moved closer to you. Jeongguk is daring as he leans even closer, breath hitting your lips. You gasp lightly at the feeling of his lips ghosting yours, the skin of them softer than anything. His hand lets go of yours only to snake around your waist, pulling you flush against him. Your hand touches his bare chest, the almost new and fresh tattoo he got two weeks ago feeling rough yet soft under your touch. He’s holding you so close that you’re unconsciously holding your breath.

“I was so scared,” you whisper against his lips, hand moving up from his chest to the back of his neck. Your fingertips brush against his hair, his long and slightly curled hair soft like you had always imagined it to be. “Scared you wouldn’t say it back.”

The tension in the room is almost unbearable but in a good way. This is months of feelings, tension and longing all coming together and clashing right here in this moment. You feel breathless, like you can’t breathe but at the same time, you’re perfectly fine.

“Say what back, ___?”

His hand runs along your hip and to your thigh, hooking around it and bringing it around him to hug his waist. His crotch is almost touching yours and your breath hitches at the feeling. Jeongguk smirks to himself, knowing exactly what kind of effect he has on you. He loves taking your breath away like this, but he can think of another way, something he’s been dying to do for a long time.

“Tell me,” he demands softly yet strongly, making you gasp again.

“I love you, Jeongguk,” You breathe out, feeling a weight coming off your chest, “I love you so much.”

Jeongguk’s heart skips a beat, a small smile appearing on his face as he cups your face, thumb running across your cheek. “You’re an idiot for thinking I wouldn’t love you back,” he whispers against your lips.

You whine at him for calling you an idiot and then you melt as he presses his lips against yours, soft and plump like pillows. Your hand tangles in his hair, fingers grabbing strands of curly, black hair as you let him kiss you until your breath is gone. It’s like you're sinking into him, fitting perfectly against his body. Goosebumps rise upon your skin as his hand wanders; over your bare legs to your waist and further across your chest and up to lightly wrap around the base of your throat. His tongue pokes at your lips, wanting to find yours. You part your lips, letting his tongue touch yours, the wetness and softness mixing well together as he pulls you even closer, a moan slipping out of you.

“Shit, ___,” he grunts against your lips as you press your core to his in eagerness, making him lose his mind, “please let me fuck you, let me love you so good, baby.”

You nod frantically, giving him full permission to do whatever he wants with you. A tiny squeal emits from your lips as he pushes you over, hovering over you and trapping you between his arms. He looks down at you, eyes soft and filled with want and lust. You smile up at him, hands running up and down the sides of his naked torso. You loved touching him like this, feeling his muscles tense under your touch and his soft skin that is filled with heavy tattoos, all of them having their own special meaning.

“I love you,” he whispers so softly you almost don’t hear it, eyes flickering between yours.

“I love you too,” you whisper back, cupping his face to pull him down to meet you for a kiss, a sloppy and wet kiss that makes your body tingle. You hum in satisfaction as he moves away from your lips, kissing his way down to your neck. He licks a stripe up your neck and to your ear, tongue flicking at your earlobe. He makes you shiver, his touch soft like a feather and yet rough enough to make you feel them more evidently than anything you’ve ever felt before.

As he works his way down with his lips, your hands are everywhere. On his shoulders, in his hair. You’re squirming under his touch, feeling impatient as he takes his time with you. It’s like he already knows every part of your body as he runs his hands down your sides and up under his T-shirt, that you’ve stolen at some point, pushing it up and revealing your breasts. He pulls the shirt all the way off, throwing it onto the floor without looking. His room is rather cold, making your nipples stiffen. He licks his lips, looking at your chest with hungry eyes. You gasp as he cups your breasts, thumbs running over each nipple. You bite your lip, holding yourself from moaning too loudly. You can’t hold it in as you watch him wrap his wetted lips around one of your hardened nubs, tongue lapping over it and flicking it.

“Holy sh- Jeongguk,” you moan, eyes closing as you arch your back in pure pleasure. He bites onto it causing you to twitch in his grasp. He smirks up at you as you glance down, watching him move to the other breast to give it the same amount of attention. He’s such a tease, you can barely comprehend it in your mind. 

A small tiny moan emits from your lips as he moves further down, lips kissing the skin on your stomach, trailing around your navel and to the edge of your pajamas shorts. He glances up at you for permission which you grant him with a small nod, teeth biting onto your lower lip. He hooks his fingers under the waistband, pulling shorts and panties down your legs. They’re on the floor within a matter of seconds, out of the world and out of the mind of the both of you as Jeongguk focuses his attention on the wetness that has formed between your legs. His dick twitches in his boxers, the sight of you bare and naked in front of him messing with his head.

You whimper as he spreads your legs, revealing your wetness to the cold air of the room, making you shiver once again. He inhales as he lowers his face between your legs, quiet growl leaving his lips. “You smell so good, baby,” he rasps, hands running from your ankles to your thighs and squeezing the soft flesh there, making goosebumps appear on your skin. “Can’t wait to taste you.”

The feeling of his lips against you makes you jolt, your breath quickening as you feel him kissing against your folds. Jeongguk brings a hand up, the other hand gripping your thigh tightly to keep your legs spread for him. You moan lightly as he runs a finger down between your wet lips, loving every second of watching and hearing you squirm beneath his touch. You’re not prepared for the feeling when he spreads your folds with his fingers before diving in, licking up and flicking your already sensitive clit with the tip of his tongue.

“Oh my god,” you moan out, your hand digging into his hair as he licks and eats you out like a starved man. Your breathing picks up as he quickens the pace of his tongue, feeling yourself nearing your high. “D-don’t stop, Gguk.”

Jeongguk hums in response to your words, letting a finger slip between your folds and inside you. You gasp, leaning up onto your elbows to watch him. Your mouth hangs open, a fucked out expression on your face as he glances up at you, lips still tightly connected to your core. “Oh,” you hum, biting your bottom lip tightly, “oh, fuck.”

His mouth leaves your wet lips as another finger sinks into you, pumping in and out at a fast pace. He’s desperate to bring you to your orgasm, lips kissing all over your thighs and lower stomach. “Let go, baby, cum for me.”

Your arms give up, your head hitting the pillows as your first orgasm of the night comes at you with full force – Jeongguk’s goal is to make you cum at least three times tonight but you don’t know that. “Fuuuuck Jeongguk,” you moan, voice high pitched as you close your eyes. Your toes are curling, fist grabbing the sheet tightly as his fingers fucks you through your orgasm. As you come down from your high, Jeongguk removes his fingers from you, your release covering them as he holds them up. You watch him bring his fingers to his lips, licking your cum off them. You whine, sitting up to reach for him, desperate for more.

He chuckles with a smirk, letting you pull him closer by hooking a finger around the silver necklace around his neck. Your lips finally land against his again, a sigh emitting from you as you let him lead you back onto your back again. You can taste yourself on his tongue as he positions himself between your legs, his cock twitching against your core. You can feel how hard he is through his boxers. Your tongue dances with his as you reach down, cupping him through the fabric of his underwear.

He grunts against your mouth, letting your lips go to rest his forehead against your collarbone. Your hand squeezes him causing him to whine lightly. “Baby, don’t do this to me,” he rasps, lips pressing tiny kisses against the skin on your throat. “Need to fuck you.”

You nod, running a hand through his hair and down his neck to his shoulder blade. Pushing at the waistband of his boxers, he gets the hint. He helps you push them down his legs, his cock springing free and slap against his abdomen. You let him do the rest himself. He kicks them off, leaving them to fall onto the floor, long forgotten. He reaches over to his bedside table, opening the drawer and pulling out a condom. You watch him rip it open with his teeth before reaching down to roll it onto his sensitive, throbbing dick. You kiss him once he returns back to hovering over you, tongue sloppily fighting against his. Pulling away, he trails kisses to just above your breasts and back up to your neck. His hands are everywhere on you, running over your nipples to your stomach and further down to brush against your still wet, pulsing core. “Still so wet for me, huh?” He hums against your neck, teeth lightly biting into your skin. “Only for me?”

You nod, breathing heavily, “only you, Gguk.”

You can feel his smirk against your neck, shivers running through you at the thought. He lines himself up, leaning up on his elbows to glance at your face. You lock eyes with him, your hand coming up to cup his cheek. He leans into your touch, eyes closing momentarily before he presses a kiss to your palm.

The moment his eyes open again, you gasp. They’re dark, filled with lust and desperation. You don’t get to say a thing before he pushes past your folds and inside, making you moan his name out loud in surprise and pleasure. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh my god,” you moan, grabbing onto his bicep tightly. He hisses at the mixed feeling of your nails digging into his skin and the sensation of finally getting to be balls deep in you after all these months. He bottoms out, head resting in the crook of your neck as he stays still for a moment. 

“Oh god, you’re big,” you breathe out into the darkness, taking a few minutes to adjust to his size before you tell him to move. He chuckles against your neck, pressing a small kiss there before leaning up to support himself on his hands, looking down to see where you’re connected as one. “Gguk, please move.”

You’re in another world as he pulls out and pushes back in, the force already unlike anything you’ve ever tried before. How is he better and bigger than what you’d expected? 

“Fuck,” he groans, “you’re so tight.”

Your moans become more high pitched for each thrust Jeongguk does, your stomach tightening in just the right way. He sets a steady rhythm, somehow managing to hit the perfect spot every single time. “I love you so much,” you gasp out as he grinds into you, bottoming out in you and filling you to the brim.

He moans at your words, a hand grabbing your leg and wrapping it tightly around his waist as he fucks you harder. “I love you too,” he breathes out against your lips before kissing you hard but sloppily.

Jeongguk man handles you halfway through, unwrapping your legs from his waist and bending them to press against your chest. This angle causes him to hit even deeper than before. “Jeongguk, please fuck me faster,” you whine, moaning. He bites into his bottom lip as he follows your command, setting a faster yet still hard pace. Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he hits you deeper for every single thrust, his balls slapping against your ass as he fucks hard into you.

You’re seeing stars as you close your eyes and moaning out loud in pleasure, loving you better than anyone ever good, cherishing your body in every way he can as he brings you to another orgasm. White flashes for your eyes as it hits you, hands digging into his hair and pulling him in for another kiss. “Oh my god, fuck,” you whine against his lips, feeling yourself tighten around him.

This brings him to the edge, low grunts and groans leaving his lips in between sloppy kisses. His last thrusts become even harder as he hits his high, he stills as he cums into the condom. He’s breathing hard along with you, forehead resting on your chest.

“Holy fucking shit,” he sighs deeply as he pulls out before plopping down to lay beside you. He pulls the condom off and throws it into the bin close to his bed. “That was-”

“Amazing,” you breathe out, turning onto your side to look at him. He turns his head, smiling at you. “You’re amazing,” you tell him.

He grins, leaning up to press his mouth to yours in another sloppy yet soft kiss. You peck his lips one, two, three times before resting your head on his chest. Jeongguk wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you close to his side. The duvet is pulled over the two of you as you’re slowly beginning to drift off to sleep. You don’t allow yourself to fall asleep before you’ve talked about this whole thing.

You rest your chin on his chest, locking eyes with him. His finger tips are running up and down your naked back, goosebumps rising once again.

“What now?” You question hesitantly, voice soft and careful.

Jeongguk shrugs, smiling softly at you. He brings a hand up to push strands of hair behind your ear. “It’s just you and me,” he softly says, running his thumb across your bottom lip. You kiss the pad of his thumb, making him smile even wider.

“Just you and me?” You repeat.

He nods, “you and me.”

You lean up, pressing a last kiss to his lips before resting your head against his chest once again, this time really falling asleep. Jeongguk lies awake for a bit, fingers still running up and down your spine. Your soft snores fill the quietness of his bedroom and it already feels like this is how it’s meant to be, finally.

The sun is forcing its way through the curtains in Jeongguk’s bedroom causing you to stir in your sleep. You stretch before rolling over onto your other side, coming to face a sleeping Jeongguk. You smile, feeling your chest fill with warmth and love as you watch him sleep with his mouth slightly parted and light snores leaving him as well.

You reach out, brushing his overgrown, curly hair out of his face. He stirs lightly, reaching up to wrap his hand around yours and intertwining your hands. He’s still sleepy as he opens his eyes, dark brown eyes meeting yours.

“Hey,” you whisper, shuffling closer so that you can press a soft peck to his lips.

He smiles, feeling his chest fill with warmth and the feeling of being content and happy in this exact moment. 

It doesn’t even take five minutes before Jeongguk’s is more awake and has you pinned down beneath him. He leans down, lips ghosting yours as he rests himself between your legs. He’s still naked just like you.

“Wanna go again?” He whispers against your lips, pressing a soft kiss to them.

You chuckle, “wasn’t last night enough for you?”

He shakes his head, lips moving further down to your neck and biting into your skin, in the same spot as last night. “It will never be enough,” he hums into your skin. You can feel his dick twitch against your thigh causing wetness to quickly appear in between your legs.

Without another word, you reach down and line him up against your folds. “No condom?” He looks at you, confused.

You shake your head. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean,” you tell him, “aren’t you?”

Jeongguk looks at you in awe, nodding his head. “Of course, I am.”

He leans down, kissing you softly, tongue poking out to ask for allowance. You kiss him back, letting him in, arms wrapping around his neck to keep him close. Jeongguk lines himself up again, hand wrapped around the base of his cock. You feel him poking at your folds, stomach tingling in excitement because there’s simply no cock better than Jeongguk’s.

“I love you,” he softly whispers.

You smile, “I love you too.”

Just as he’s about to push himself fully inside, the sound of the front door slamming shut stills him. Jimin’s voice sounds throughout the apartment: “Guys, get up! I’m inviting both of you out to eat breakfast, so you better be ready in five minutes!”

Jeongguk drops his head to your shoulder, a groan leaving his lips. “I can’t believe I get cockblocked again,” he grumbles against your skin, making you laugh out loudly.

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