#maybe i shouldnt tag it with the usuals i dont know

[fallhound]

Hi! I'm Fall! And I'm screwed!

Got ghosted on some contract work I was banking on, and now I only have 14 days to make rent.

I'm an immigrant disabled trans woman in between visas, making finding work fucking hard here. Gov getting more conservative and pushing anti-migrant shit doesn't help. Got my benefits cut, and I can't partake of any gov aid or my visa application will get denied 🙃

It's my bday on Halloween, you wanna help a bday gal, don't you? Between 9 prescriptions, bills, rent, and food I'm looking at:

(oct 25) 861/850$ !!!!!!

ko fi | pp <3

[wastelandhell]

imagine fo4 without bt3 and ocbp. literally unplayable.

[zoppzoop]

GAAHAHHHHH

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing wlw wanting to dirtyfuck a lady is wrong

[hakahakaiprincess]

this is probably due to having comparatively more information and being slightly less stigmatized than other mental illnesses but its upsetting to see depression and anxiety treated like basically Level 1 mental illnesses when both are just as if not more debilitating if left without treatment

[discountsoysauce]

Thanks! I'll check it out

@discountsoysauce

Another screenshot of my Daemon AU:

[cherrylight]

hi im rambling. also hello ashley nation i guess ...

(this is a long post)

i have no idea what to post on here anymore tbch...... im also a nervous wreck talking about any of my f/os without them being the two notorious ones i used to talk about a lot ...... wahh ..... im just nervous being myself on here ..... whys that so DIFFICULT i think its this blog in particular idk ... selfshipping i love you but why do you make me feel really awful about my f/os that i genuinely would give the world to ..... cant i gush about them happily

i wanna be silly and goofy but then I DONT AND IT MAKES ME REALLY UPSET cause im really silly and goofy and i talk a lot then i get anxious and i flop and die its a recurring cycle .......... i should probably use that new blog i made so its easier to post silly things... and just be me but it also has like f/o(s) that i dont really post on here at all out of immense fear so maybe i shouldnt share it to the world.....

idk guys. lately ive just been very terrified and i guess extremely nervous & anxious posting on this blog in particular ..... im really grateful for the people who stuck around and send me asks and just are genuinely really sweet! im sorry for not being able to answer them or anything because i fear i talk too much ALL THE TIME...... like now does that even MAKE SENSE ?! probably not ....

whats kind of saddening is the fact i miss posting about my selfship(s) on here and having others be so supportive of it .... sending silly asks that make me get super happy >_< its like the best thing ever in the entire world wahhh miss it ..... maybe in due time when im not scared .....

tbh my main kind of helps with me on gushing about certain f/os because like no one would say anything..... im just gushing about silly guys and its really fun.......... but then i tear up because he makes me so emotional and UGDFHJGDFHFDH ......anyway. i gush privately and it should just be something im doing for me and that is something i KNOW and do on my own and its very fun and lovely

its just .... ive always been really terrified admitting things... like i have so many thoughts but i dont say them at all.... im also having a lot of trouble articulating my thoughts rn sorry for the jumble mess but its just a lot i guess

i used to be able to say WHATEVER i want and now i just CANT and its actually really upsetting. i just have a genuine weird way on expressing and saying things and i dont want to make people uncomfortable ...

i sometimes think its this blog that makes me so anxious. like more so than usual. but then i think its just Me that makes Me anxious? idk. hard to tell. i just dunno if its the blog or if its me thats making me scared and upset ....

arghh i dont know. this post is already so long >_< idk how to even CONCLUDE THIS ITS SO UPSETTING

i guess the best way is: im anxious all the time on this blog in particular, im way comfortable on my main blog more than this one; maybe the other blog if im brave enough to tag it at some point.... im scared to be fully myself on here so i just stay heavily inactive on here.... but i do love the selfship community...... i dont know if i want to be a part of it ... i just want to reblog cute posts of it and gush about my f/os that make me so happy ....

i want to get out of my comfort zone again. but im scared. so ill die. <- see thats what im talking about i say a lot of out of pocket stuff like that

[rabbithaver]

dude that post you reblogged yesterday about fossilized versions of yourself is completely off the rails like. you did not deserve to die and you still dont what the fuck? ive been on your blog for like 10 minutes and i do not know you or your personality at all and you have worth as a person and jesus fucking christ what you said is not only alarming for your own safety but everyone elses, do you now think that abuse is justified? that it *worked* on you? you shouldnt think that dude people are flawed and fuck up monumentally all the time but that doesnt mean you cant get better holy shit

i had to actually go back and re-read what i wrote because i couldn't remember, but uh. i mean. i kind of do, honestly? it's hard to explain my reasoning without freaking people out.

other people don't deserve to be abused, of course. like, i've never met a person in my life i felt deserves to be abused. hell, in any other case, i agree that abuse is never justified! that being said, though... what i did and the things i said to people back then were pretty uniquely horrifying. it's the one thing in my 27 years of being alive that i'm most ashamed of by far.

i was an adult by then, too, so i really had no excuse for being such a toxic abusive monster... in many ways, what i did actually made me worse than my own abusers when i was in school — they stalked me, beat me, threatened me, called me every slur under the sun, and even tried to kill me with their SUV, but the fact that i endured all of that and then went on to abuse other people? to knowingly hurt them? that's vile. that's, like, irredeemably bad. i knew how much pain abuse causes and i still went on to inflict it on others... that's downright evil.

that being said, i have been trying very very very hard in the past 5 years to get better. i think it's been working. i haven't gotten involved in any discourse, and i can count the number of times i've been toxic and lashed out at strangers online since then on one hand. i've dedicated far more of my energy to creating positive spaces than i ever had previously, and i'm focusing on uplifting other people where i can.

but the way i see it is like this: i can try to do good now all i want, and i am definitely going to keep trying, but i still hurt a lot of people because i was an immature, toxic, even dangerous asshole. i was, by all definitions, a monster. ideally, i should have been treated like one. an eye for an eye and all that. maybe if i had been treated the way i deserved, i'd have died before i hurt the people i ended up hurting. i can never undo that pain i've caused, so i should live with that knowledge. and i have. it sucks, but it's deserved. it's karma, i guess

also you absolutely do not have to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong! i really do appreciate that you cared enough to say something, and i hope my explanation for why i feel the way i do kind of... clarified some things, if nothing else. and i admit, my negative outlook is also probably impacted by the drama currently going on in my offline life as well. it's been a really long and terrible week for me, probably one of the worst in my life — i've been dealing with an ongoing family crisis involving a critically ill and likely terminal family member. things feel very dark for me right now and it's harder than usual for me to interrogate my own feelings on my past. i apologize that you had to read my tags and deal with all that.

[trekkele]

You mentioned in one of your tags that you'd like to write a fic where the batkids find out Alfred wasn't so awesome a parent to Bruce and I wanted to ask if you'd like to share some ideas and directions where you could imagine it going?

Would it change the way the kids think and act around Alfred? Or Bruce? And what are some Major Mistakes Alfred made that in retrospect make a lot of sense regarding Bruce's parenting? And what sent the boulder of realisation going in the first place?

I know it sounds like I'm asking for spoilers or the actual, complete plotline which you probably haven't thought out yet, but I'm just curious about various versions of situations and realisations you think could happen. Or things that you'd like to work into your fic but it just wouldn't fit.

Basically, I love your writing and I love this kind of DramaTM within the Batfam and I'd cherish any crumb of information you would like to share.

Thank you and have a wonderful day! <3

Ok so this premise does rely on good dad Bruce, not because shitty parents cant come from shitty parents (they do, usually) but because i think seeing Bruce not do the things Alfred does would be how the kids (specifically Dick) realize what kind of parent Alfred is.

And this is really a reaction to the “Alfred is a saint for putting up with Bruce” fandom attitude because if you, as a parent or a guardian, are incapable of parenting a kid, no matter how difficult that kid is, it is your responsibility to either find a way to become what your kid needs or find someone who can. I know a lot of us had shitty parents but a traumatized nine year old shouldnt be “put up with” or “handled” they should be parented. At the very least they should be loved, and they should know they are loved. (Gets off parenting soapbox, climbs onto fandom soapbox)

Also every time i think about this fic i start thinking “maybe Alfred deserves some more grace” because he was put in a pretty impossible situation immediately after losing two people he deeply respected, if not loved, and lets be reasonable the 80-90s were uh, not an ideal time for difficult parenting, and the therapy available for children back then would have probably made things worse if not outright given Bruce ptsd (if he didnt already have that), so theres that. On the other hand, Alfred is also fairly consistently shown as being deeply unkind about idiosyncrasies, and unwilling to admit when he’s wrong.

And theres only so many times you can call your adult child an idiot, and imply that you believe every one of their choices to be invalid or wrong, before it turns out that you are Part of The Problem, or at the very least, A Bitch.

Anyways.

The thing is, i dont think it would change much. I think they might stop taking Alfreds word as gospel, especially in regards to Bruce, and i think they might be more forgiving towards Bruce when he messes up in the long term, but the truth is that whats it going to change? How do you apologize to someone for that? What are you apologizing for?

Because ultimately i dont think Bruce is ready to admit that Alfred is, or was, wrong. Bruce knows he was a bad kid, a difficult kid. His teachers and his family and the newspapers, and even Alfred, have admitted that Bruce was a hard kid to raise. Probably harder to love. He’s never surprised when people leave him, after all.

He does know his own kids don’t deserve that style of parenting though. But thats because they’re better than him. He has to do better because they deserve better, because he chose to be there for them. Alfred never really got that choice, did he? Bruce’s parents trusted Alfred, and Alfred stayed out of his respect for them. Not the bratty kid who cried for a year and refused to speak and would hide under the bed instead of sleep.

And thats another thing - if Bruce admits that Alfred wasnt a good parent, if he admits that Alfred made some terrible mistakes, does that mean he’s betraying the trust his parents placed in him? Is he casting blame onto two people he can only idolize, because to do otherwise is to admit he doesn’t remember much of them anymore?

As for how the kids find out, i think Dick realized in his own. I think Jason realizes because Dick stops him from walking in and interrupting a conversation between the two and before he can ask whats going on he hears Alfred slap Bruce. Im not sure about the rest.

*i started answering this, got distracted, finished writing it in my head, and then forgot i never answered it in reality. But i think thats most of what i wanted to say.

[nathsolkyoako]

Hey guess who has a side blog now (wooo yeahhh)

Not gonna tag my main for Secret Reasons (if you recognize my art style or typing or whatever PLEASE stay quiet abt it (: thankyou) im just gonna put shit I don’t wanna put on my main like fan art thoughts abt shows/games I like or whatever, some of those areee ultrakill (as you can tell from the pfp lmao) jrwi, tma, and other misc stuff i might mention/reblog stuff for

For what you can Call me I use mainly It but depending on how I’m feeling at the moment I also use He and they ‘nouns, and you can either call me Ev or take a bunch of letters from my username and use that (:

I have a few rp blogs if you wanna check those out, I’ll tag them under the cut. Im going crazy over there I swear dude it’s Awesome send an ask or wtvr

Rule list:

1 be fucking nice, I don’t have my age listed here and it’s not your business don’t send me weird shit if I don’t know you

2 if you know abt my main don’t mention it there!! I know im pretty much the same on both but please!!!

3 I don’t have a dni if I don’t like you I most likely have you blocked. I won’t say this is a solely over 18 blog but if smth in the warnings triggers you or you don’t like it thats on you

If there’s more im forgetting rn I’ll add them

WARNINGS!!!!!!

I MENTION SEX STUFF IG. AND ALSO I WRITE/TALK ABOUT GORE!!!! AS WELL AS TALK ABT MY MEDICATION IN CERTAIN WAYS I PROBABLY SHOULDNT!! DONT WANNA SEE IT? BLOCK THE concern posting TAG!!!!!! THE WRITING/ART STUFF IS USUALLY TAGGED BUT SOMETIMES NOT SO.

Thats it bye (:

THATS NOT IT ITS TAG TIME YEAAAHAHAHAA

Jrpwi: for when im referencing/talking abt the Just Role(Play) With It industrial complex

New.A: for that fic im writing! Wow!

Concern Posting: pretty much just vent posts/posts that mention potentially triggering stuff! Maybe block this!!

Blogs I run!! \/

@the-alphonze first one I made (: updates daily

@the-salt-searchers riptide oc blog. Might start posting again soon (:

Tag isn’t working so here’s a link to the intro post

@officerdudes not updating anymore. You can still check it out! I didn’t delete it or anything

Tag isn’t working so here’s a link to the intro post

@everett-james-pebblebridge update at least weekly (:

Tag isn’t working so here’s a link to the intro post

@xX-WispererrXx might update daily (:

Tag isn’t working so here a link to the intro post

Ok that’s fr it bye

[okthatsgreat]

new opddmh updates..... like. three of them. crazy. haven't been keeping up as well as usual (acting stuff and work tag teaming my free time and absolutely destroying it) but i have finally started to binge and i truly truly love what u r doing w makoto and miu. so different but still connecting on an in-depth level and balancing eachother out ....... sometimes a relationship is an ex-reality show killing game figurehead and the world's worst teenager fresh out of the hospital against the world. do u have any insights on the way u write relationships and connections or just them in specific that come to mind bc oh my god. please do tell

HELLO AGAIN :]!!! AND HAHAHAH THATS ALL GOOD ive been so busy also FINGERS CROSSED IM ABLE TO GET MY UPDATE SCHEDULE ON TRACK LOL

TALKING ABOUT THIS FIC!!! :] big ole ramble down below lol

(i use the word "partner" a lot here but just know i am not referring to strictly romantic relationships lol)

OHHH GOD. relationship writing advice HMM HMMMMM. it really is very complex bc there are SO many different types of relationships that can be written about ghfdgjh so advice definitely varies!!! i think something helpful that i've learned is that unless you are purposefully examining power dynamics it always helps to view both sides as fully realised characters. very very rarely do you want to have a character who is solely there to agree with their second half and have no personality or history outside of this. i see this happen a LOT with romantic pairings but it's also an important note for platonic pairings as well!! ESPECIALLY if the main focus of the story is on this specific pairing-- it shouldnt feel like one person is a human being while the other is a cardboard cutout whose only purpose is to be there for their partner. again there ARE a few exceptions to this and how it is portrayed but its the main rule i like to stick to!! :]

if i feel like ive written a character who is solely there for their partner something immediate i go to is giving both characters something that separates them!! most of the time this includes fleshing out a backstory thats different from their partner, that might influence the way they see things within the narrative. give them a different hobby, maybe a different friend group! give them a different perspective on the events that are unfolding, a different way of coping that might not be beneficial to their partner!! and remember that it is OKAY for them to not agree on everything!!!! do not be frightened into thinking you need every single relationship in your story to be perfect and unproblematic and completely agreeable, especially for longer narratives that call for conflict

OH AND IN REGARDS TO FANFICTION... piece of advice i try to follow is donttttt try to mold characters into entirely different people just so they can stay happy and agreeable with their partner lol. if theres tension theres tension!! if theyre petty then theyre petty!!!!! even if there isnt conflict and youre writing fluff, you dont have to erase their personalities just to fit them together as a happy couple! sometimes the challenge in writing comes from finding what happiness means for that specific character/pairing, and that may be very different from the typical idea of romance/happiness!!

AND NOW ON TO MAKOTO AND MIU first of all. i am so sorry for making you read paragraphs upon paragraphs of me just rambling nonsense at you GHFDKGSH BUT I APPRECIATE IT!!! and second of all this technicallllyyyy is advice i guess but its WAY more specific now!!! lol

anyways when it comes to writing their relationship most of their dynamic is based off of their differences! opddmh miu is brash and loud, and even though she is trying more and more to filter what she says she still speaks before she thinks and grows restless very easily. opddmh makoto on the other hand cant afford to be brash and loud and thinks quite a lot before he says anything, and is lot visibly calmer. so its fun examining how their differences are able to influence the other throughout the fic!!!! miu NEEDED that calming influence considering the state she was in when makoto found her, i quite frankly have no idea where the hell she would be now if makoto hadnt been so patient and understanding ghfdksghkf. makoto on the other hand is a man chained down by responsibility, so much so that his life has become extremely dull in his eyes just because of how repetitive it has started to become. miu is a serious change to this and offers him some kind of purpose while also reminding him of not only how SCARED he was as a teenager first exiting the simulator but also how unrestrained he had been before the years went by. theres a balance there!!!

but at the same time, there ARE some similarities. theyre both a bit paranoid, and even if miu is more willing to be vocal about her distaste theyre both scared of danganronpa as a company. they also both strive for some kind of peace, even if they have different versions of it-- makoto wishes to be unburdened by the weight of responsibility and his Ultimate Hope persona while miu wishes for stability in her relationships with others, even if she just isnt the best at it. its why i like writing small moments such as the two of them just sitting in the car and chatting or the most recent moment where theyre not talking at all but are still comfortable in each others company-- they dont explicitly tell the other that theyre super happy and at peace but they both subconsciously understand :)

OKAY CUTTING MYSELF OFF!!!! GFHDGFDJ THANK YOU SO SO MUCH <33

[lollitree]

Your tags under the pokemon poll are SO TRUEE and it hurts how many people dont understand that

I grew up in the change from pixel art to 3D and have nostalgia for bw, xy AND sm. So i think because of that, I can see the good and bad in all the games but don't feel like any of them 'peaked''. They're all different games, so they are really hard to compare.

On a related note tho, its so sad to see so many fans praise one of my childhood games and not the others. And like, I get it because gen 5 is more similar to what they grew up with.....but every time I say I love xy, sm and even swsh i get told they are terrible and usually imply that I shouldnt like them :/

That only happens online, though......irl all the fans ive met, no matter their ages, just say something like 'i didnt like it, but i'm glad you did!'. Growing up in irl fan spaces and having to move online during corona was AN EXPERIENCE omg

Yeah! It's super interesting how much we are affected by nostaglia.

There's usually a pattern you can notice with this stuff too. There are two lines that go up as time goes on. The one everyone talks about as being great and the newer one people hate on, usually to do with nostalgia of the now older original audience of the game.

My full reply got long so putting it under a read more skfjsh

My first Pokemon game was Colosseum, so gen 2/3 pokemon and gen 3 sound effects are pretty nostalgic to me.

Then I grew up mostly playing Diamond/Platinum/PMD2/Ranger2. I LOVED Team Galactic. I restarted the games so many times just so I could play through the story again with Cyrus and the Galactic Grunt theme. (I have also played through pmd2 many many times). I remember in my early teens seeing people on the internet hating on DPPt a lot and it making me sad. I recall someone saying that the gen 4 Pokemon sucked and I remember thinking "aw I guess they're right, some of these pokemon are really boring or annoying" and then I learned later that the pokemon I was thinking of were all gen 1 pokemon sdfkjsh

Gen 5 was hated when it first came out because it wasn't very fun for new players. I bet it also didn't help that the advertising for B2W2 was pretty poor and also came out after the 3DS did. I didn't even know it was a sequel until years later. That's why they went in the complete opposite direction for gen 6, and added gimmicks!

I have heard multiple people call the designs from gen 5 horrible over the years (And they're all wrong). Those comments are nowhere NEAR as frequent now, but they almost always come from people with nostalgia for the ones they grew up with.

I was 13 when BW first came out. I think I've only beaten it once, MAYBE twice. I'm not entirely sure why, because I was still replaying DPPt a lot. I would guess it's because the game is super linear in terms of gameplay and every playthrough will start exactly the same. You don't really get to make decisions on your team and how you play until later. Kid me loved the beginning of the main pokemon games the most because they were the most fun bits to play usually. So I suppose when you've already played it once, the beginning becomes quite boring.

And to compare. I did not like XY when it first came out. I was 16 and very against change and also my fav types at the time were dark and dragon so fairy type was the worst thing ever. I said previously that I really liked Team Galactic, so Team Flare was just a bootleg version of them to me. BUT I did immediately replay the game when I finished it. The character customisation plus the huge dex gives the game a lot of replayability. Because while I didn't like a lot about the game it was still fun to play, and it was the first time online was really accessible to me. I went back to 2013/2014 on my blog and there's SO much positivity about the game it's amazing! Over time people only remembered the bad parts and started hating it. I bet there'll be an influx of nostalgia for it before long. We can even see it in the hope people have for SV having Kalos DLC.

I need to replay sun/moon or play USUM because in my brain currently it sucks. But I'm very aware that that's because I only played it once, it's been years, and I played it when I started to grow out of Pokemon. So I'm excited to play it again now that I can appreciate it better. (Also the Sun/Moon anime is my fav so I have a lot of love for the characters now)

And finally, I loved SWSH! I didn't finish it the first time I tried to play it. Mostly because I spent HOURS trying to get a shiny hatenna before doing the fire gym skdfjhs. But then I SPED through the game with a bug type only run before Legends came out and I really enjoyed the story! One of those things that's more enjoyable if you're only focused on enjoying the story (and playing the game through with a joltik as the lead and trying to make sure they stay strong enough to beat the game with pfft) Also Leon was the first ever Champion I actually thought was cool and enjoyed seeing while playing the game (as ridiculous as his outfit is)

If I were to logically plot out the best for me based on how nostalgia works and taking into consideration that public opinion ABSOLUTELY influences me. I would have said BW was the best and XY(or SM) was the downfall, even though I had way more fun playing XY than BW as a kid

[rainbowgod666]

...i mean you forgot my tags but if you want yapping then whatever its almost midnight where i am.

Ok so

"Every romance book is called The Cootie Paradox" i mean. Not exactly, its usually some My Immortal tier bullshit that makes you wonder just how HARD society failed women, but also it adesso how most of these books (which i never actually READ btw 🤔) are basically just "what if twilight but with no superwholock supernatural shit and with r/womenwritingmen guys. Also none of the girls is described in a way that makes ANY eventual actor older than 17". Which just. Ew.

"Every horror movie is called Saunter" look. 90% of my posts are made under the presumption that one day pm seymour *will* be like "and what the fuck would YOU be, huh? :3". Of course every movie tries to be the new Thing/Saw/Friday the 13th/Gremlins/Tremors/Etc., because sure, art is beautiful regardless, but the monke brain wants golden statues, so why not try doing exactly what another film did? (And then you realize that not only there was no vision other than "fuck them they dont deserve to be better than me"¹, but also CINEMASINS watched that damn thing, and everyone in the comments agreed its the first time he had a correct opinion). Then the fucking FNAF movie came around and said "shut the fuck up and stick to the source material. Take some liberties if you want either a sequel or just want the movie to be Itself rather than Just Another Thing" and that was so cool.

"Every middling adult fiction book is called The Thousand Mile Road To Kelly Larson": m8 im already Autism Blasting onto you your OWN DAMN POST. last thing ya need is another post about the #society (which is so many dead memes i cant even-)

"Every influencer lead dieting brand deal is called Frümpi" dude. There are way too many posts about the "fitness regime" of society, all of them done by people that, unlike me, actually KNOW wtf they are talking about. Best i can tell you is what i KNOW (which is that excess in fiber or proteins kinda deletes your fucking intestine's internal CPU) and not what i FEEL (which i would do, but i dont want to sound like an... *audible disgust* a m e r i c a n c o n s e r v a t i v e 🤢). Also lets be honest, Frümpi is White People Code for "food that tastes good but funds the fucking idk gaza genocide? Congo genocide? The one in Sudan? Do americans think the world is a sandbox for them to kill as many people as they can? And they say videogames cause violence the fucking cunts". And also the name sounds like a granola bar you eat because a box of the things is 1.10€ and its the cheapest in the store and you go back home and you eat one of them and then you realize that damn bar is an offbrand of an offbrand of an OFFBRAND. How. The fujkck.

"Every resale app is called Bootd" the only thing i can say here is: Making Ebay 2 is idiotic, but at least the names sound somewhat funny² so there is an argument for that (also tech illiteracy is KINDA rampant so something that isnt older than me is probably easier to navigate or whatever)

"Every video essay made by someone who just picked a piece of media at random and thinks reading off the Wikipedia page for 80% of the vid is "good enough" is called The Capitalist Horror of Peppa Pig": ok. What fucking HBomberguyClone did you snort this off. Usually video essays are.done correctly. There are sources in the description nobody reads but they still put them because they care dude are you ok do you need somebody to talk to nobody gets this sort of visceral reactions unless they are particularly mad at the topic³ DO YOU NEED A HUG-

"And every place we experience all these things and more is called earth 💕": ...ok no thats actually kinda wholesome cause it implies humanity is Kinda Cringe-desu Innit Bruv and yet thats... what makes us human. Huh. Maybe i shouldnt set the bar on the ground for someone that can jump like a grasshopper.

So yeah this is all the content and the confusion i could squeeze from your post OP. In any case, my ask box is open (and so are my DMs really) and there are helpful footnotes in the post in case something needs higher clarification or is. You know. A Funny.

Also i proofread this damn thing. Something i didnt do for my ACTUAL IRL CLASS TESTS. SO.

every romance book is called the cootie paradox every horror movie is called Saunter every middling adult fiction book is called the thousand mile road to kelly larson every influencer lead dieting brand deal is called frümpi every resale app is called bootd every video essay made by someone who just picked a piece of media at random and thinks reading off the Wikipedia page for 80% of the vid is "good enough" is called The Capitalist Horror of Peppa Pig. and every place we experience all these things and more is called earth 💕

[germaniumring]

sooo my very first,,. processing post? i think this will be a general ramble for me to establish how im going to go about things with this blog. maybe i’ll start with why im doing this.

ive spent most of my life bottling things up. i dont think its been particularly fantastic for me and the way i deal with emotions and stressful situations. i think this behaviour of mine stems from my growing up years. as a child, when i showed any negative emotion it was punished which led to me now, trying to hide my feelings and keep it in if i was upset or angry. and when i did show my feelings, it was often an outburst that was ? dramatic? im not sure how to describe it but it definitely was too much for the situation i was in.

ive definitely thought for a long time that i shouldnt bottle up my feelings, especially since when my friends were upset id tell them not to either and that its best to let it out. but i didnt know how to go about it. ive considered talking to my friends about it, but i find that too embarrassing to be honest. its quite difficult for me to show emotional vulnerability in front of people i know, hence why im here! Using an internet persona. Talking to the air. sending brainwaves through the tags looking for people who could maybe? give me advice? im not sure

another reason why i made this blog was to talk about situations i went through and really process what happened and think about how i feel about it. ive developed a very indifferent and maybe even apathetic attitude towards things that happen to me. which means that when something bad happens to me i usually am not affected by it, and dont think about it too deeply. while i find this helps me brush off negative emotions easily, a lot of the times i do this i might also disregard the feelings of others involved that are affected by it , and i dont think this is good for me to do. it makes them feel like theyre maybe too sensitive because if i dont care, maybe they shouldnt care as much. im trying to fix this problem by thinking more deeply about. life??? in general? im not sure how to word it.

this post is getting a little long, so i’ll end it soon. if youre reading this, thank you so so much for being here. it feels really weird to say all of my thoughts out loud. i really hope this can help me become a better person and im sorry if my posts arent coherent because i might have lost my original train of thought halfway through and started rambling 😵‍💫😵‍💫

[thewickerking]

OK SO. EPIC WIN! SOUND HAS CEASED!! its on and off and idk if ill hear it again tonight (please i hope not) but it is GONE i am COMFY in BED. my phone DIED but thats ok shes at 3$ now and plugged in so shes going up :)

[eggceereal]

sometimes ur brain feels like this and you just have to