#² which is just... PEAK late stage capitalism. fucking Deliveroo... Glovo... Swappie... AND THATS ONLY A FEW THE ONES KNOWN IN ITALY. FUCK.

[rainbowgod666]

...i mean you forgot my tags but if you want yapping then whatever its almost midnight where i am.

Ok so

"Every romance book is called The Cootie Paradox" i mean. Not exactly, its usually some My Immortal tier bullshit that makes you wonder just how HARD society failed women, but also it adesso how most of these books (which i never actually READ btw 🤔) are basically just "what if twilight but with no superwholock supernatural shit and with r/womenwritingmen guys. Also none of the girls is described in a way that makes ANY eventual actor older than 17". Which just. Ew.

"Every horror movie is called Saunter" look. 90% of my posts are made under the presumption that one day pm seymour *will* be like "and what the fuck would YOU be, huh? :3". Of course every movie tries to be the new Thing/Saw/Friday the 13th/Gremlins/Tremors/Etc., because sure, art is beautiful regardless, but the monke brain wants golden statues, so why not try doing exactly what another film did? (And then you realize that not only there was no vision other than "fuck them they dont deserve to be better than me"¹, but also CINEMASINS watched that damn thing, and everyone in the comments agreed its the first time he had a correct opinion). Then the fucking FNAF movie came around and said "shut the fuck up and stick to the source material. Take some liberties if you want either a sequel or just want the movie to be Itself rather than Just Another Thing" and that was so cool.

"Every middling adult fiction book is called The Thousand Mile Road To Kelly Larson": m8 im already Autism Blasting onto you your OWN DAMN POST. last thing ya need is another post about the #society (which is so many dead memes i cant even-)

"Every influencer lead dieting brand deal is called Frümpi" dude. There are way too many posts about the "fitness regime" of society, all of them done by people that, unlike me, actually KNOW wtf they are talking about. Best i can tell you is what i KNOW (which is that excess in fiber or proteins kinda deletes your fucking intestine's internal CPU) and not what i FEEL (which i would do, but i dont want to sound like an... *audible disgust* a m e r i c a n c o n s e r v a t i v e 🤢). Also lets be honest, Frümpi is White People Code for "food that tastes good but funds the fucking idk gaza genocide? Congo genocide? The one in Sudan? Do americans think the world is a sandbox for them to kill as many people as they can? And they say videogames cause violence the fucking cunts". And also the name sounds like a granola bar you eat because a box of the things is 1.10€ and its the cheapest in the store and you go back home and you eat one of them and then you realize that damn bar is an offbrand of an offbrand of an OFFBRAND. How. The fujkck.

"Every resale app is called Bootd" the only thing i can say here is: Making Ebay 2 is idiotic, but at least the names sound somewhat funny² so there is an argument for that (also tech illiteracy is KINDA rampant so something that isnt older than me is probably easier to navigate or whatever)

"Every video essay made by someone who just picked a piece of media at random and thinks reading off the Wikipedia page for 80% of the vid is "good enough" is called The Capitalist Horror of Peppa Pig": ok. What fucking HBomberguyClone did you snort this off. Usually video essays are.done correctly. There are sources in the description nobody reads but they still put them because they care dude are you ok do you need somebody to talk to nobody gets this sort of visceral reactions unless they are particularly mad at the topic³ DO YOU NEED A HUG-

"And every place we experience all these things and more is called earth 💕": ...ok no thats actually kinda wholesome cause it implies humanity is Kinda Cringe-desu Innit Bruv and yet thats... what makes us human. Huh. Maybe i shouldnt set the bar on the ground for someone that can jump like a grasshopper.

So yeah this is all the content and the confusion i could squeeze from your post OP. In any case, my ask box is open (and so are my DMs really) and there are helpful footnotes in the post in case something needs higher clarification or is. You know. A Funny.

Also i proofread this damn thing. Something i didnt do for my ACTUAL IRL CLASS TESTS. SO.

every romance book is called the cootie paradox every horror movie is called Saunter every middling adult fiction book is called the thousand mile road to kelly larson every influencer lead dieting brand deal is called frümpi every resale app is called bootd every video essay made by someone who just picked a piece of media at random and thinks reading off the Wikipedia page for 80% of the vid is "good enough" is called The Capitalist Horror of Peppa Pig. and every place we experience all these things and more is called earth 💕