#maybe i lied idk anymore | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

caelanglang · 1 year ago

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Are you by any chance gonna continue the le petit prince skk au, where they were childhood friends and got separated? I really wanted to end it well, it was so beautiful and hurting. T_T

omg yes hi ;w;)// I have a ton of unshared sketches of them actually! The only problem is that the scenes I'm drawing are all over the timeline >w<;; So I don't really know how to share them but!! Rest assured I am working on them ;3c Thank you for asking! It really means a lot to know people like this au ;w;

have this wip sketch of lil Dazai getting his first daruman doll!

#nyehehehehehehe #it's not angst i swear--#maybe i lied idk anymore #im still debating how to end this au tho #it makes me really happy that someone cares about this au aaaaaaaa #daruman doll #bsd #bsd au #inbox #inbox sketch #childhood friends au #skk #little prince skk au

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marimbles · 1 month ago

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i miss carpisuns sometimes </3

#not necessarily that I regret switching over but i just get like nostalgic for an earlier time in the ml fandom #s3 was soooo much fun for me #and the long hiatus before s4 was also the best. so good wasn’t ready for it to end when it did haha #things just feel so different in the fandom now #both the fandom has changed and I have changed #and of course the STORY has changed #and I like don’t know what to do about that or how to react #cause I am used to being one of the guys who is defending ml’s honor with my life lol #committed to spreading positivity #and I still want to be that guy!#but it’s like. idk. I don’t recognize this story anymore #this isn’t the same story that I fell in love with years ago. but I don’t want to just like Leave??#I do want to see how things play out bc I am still invested in these characters #and I would love to still be part of the fan community and connect with people over a mutual love for this thing #that has been important to me for years and has inspired me to create and learn new skills and make new friends!#but I also don’t just want to shut up and pretend I’m happy about things I am decidedly unhappy about lol #like it’s honestly surprising to me that a only a small minority of the fandom seems to feel the way I do?#and the majority are still super pumped and frustrated at the people who are complaining #and really. I don’t WANT to rain on anyone’s parade. I honestly don’t #I was part of the parade for years! I had the best time in the parade! I don’t want to ruin the good time!#so i try not to be too salty on main ? but i feel like I’m going a little crazy lmao! like I’m just one bitter little miser fhdjjd #i mean i guess it’s kind of a good thing that I moved blogs tbh lol #cause now when i whine only a fraction of the people have to be exposed to it 😂#but man i hate knowing that people might think of me as a salter #I mean it’s valid if people are trying to have fun and do not want to hear my complaining haha #but also do i automatically have to be a salter. are the only options support and defend ml 100% at all times or Be A Salter #or can there be a third category of certified ml lover that is just disappointed in recent events & disagrees with the new writing direction #is that too much nuance for tumblr lol #see maybe that’s why I miss carpisuns. she didn’t have to ask this question. she was only full of LOVE!#but therein lies the irony…like marinette I have made this choice out of love…for what the story once was…what is to become of me now…

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lucalicatteart · 9 months ago

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A new sculpture! Finally... I feel like I never sculpt anymore since I'm always sick or have some 500 other things going on or projects to finish, but I'm trying to schedule time to do it more often this year hopefully..! Just a generic fantasy creature as usual, but did try making the eyes a little more sparkly this time.. hrmm..

#sculpture #fantasy art #fantasy creature #art #elf #lol what are the tags I should use... I still never know.. EVIL social media.. hate the idea of tagging anything ever anyway. but alas..#I also would ideally like to start selling them again and open up custom commmissions and stuff again once I can hopefully get paypal #stuff sorted out. and find like.. a good way to do things.. etc.. I did still want to sell them through auction instead of agonizing #over setting prices being afraid they're either too high or too low. So being able to just be like. Here. this is $50. or more. or less.#negotiate. the worth is whatever you feel like it is so i personally dont have to make that decision. etc. lol... But etsy doesn't let you #do auctions or like pay what you want type stuff so.. then I was thinking ebay? but idk.. ANYWAY.. I want to set things #up so I can sell stuff again hopefully. I still haven't fully recovered from the costs of when I had to take my cat to the vet and put #them down last year and etc. So it'd be good to sell a few things. perhaps.. maychance... perhamble... so on and so forthe... ANYWAY #I was going for whiter more milky sort of hair that blends in closely with the skintone but after the paint dried it seems more yellowy kin #of. which is fine. But just not exacltly like my mind vision lol..#Also it's like... wow... someone with face spots and elf ears and a half open mouth with a gap tooth and wavy hair and kind of downturned #eyes... revolutionary... never been seen before... every sculpture I have ever made surely doesnt look licherally exactly like this... LOL #but maybe it's just a style. so what. People have their motifs lol.. Im just getting back into sculpting. I shall sameface in peace. huzzah #Just like the only thing I ever carve out of avocado pits anymore is eyes. Because that's just whats fun to do. I'm going to accumulate lik #25 similar avocado eyes and have nothing to do with them. I was thinking of stringing some together into a necklace of eyes or something li #like that but.. hrmm... ANYWAY.. Love to do the same things repetitively. :3c

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ambagel · 7 months ago

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Wait hold on, in his anniversary video Barbatos mentions the mc being the brother's attendant?

But in the other videos, it's implied that they don't remember the mc leaving (which is actually something im very disappointed about and really hope isnt the case in the actual story)

In these two specifically, it seems like they aren't aware of the mc's presence in the past/alternate timeline/whatever it is. The only other person who seems like they know is Lucifer

Which also lines up with the end of lesson 40, where he's the only one who says welcome back? So like?? Do only him and Barbatos know? Did they not tell anyone?? Diavolo would probably know as well but I haven't seen anything to show that yet. Anyways I don't really like where this is going, I would really prefer they not make everyone forget the mc disappeared

#of course they could always just be not quite putting the pieces together in these scenes #buuuut at this point im not so sure..#i was hoping theyd take a more “WE MISSED YOU” approach #because if im being honest those are some of my favorite moments #like yay everythings better now lets hug it out #i feel weird about them potentially not knowing about what happened #how would they play that off? solomon already said they were freaking out?#“oh whoops we time traveled just far back enough that no one noticed you were gone”#no #do not do that #that defeats the purpose of this whole shenanigan #they also cant just say it was the regular past #because story inconsistencies #solomon has even commented on how its different #hes like “simeon and luke shouldnt be here”#istg if they try to move past that without explaining i will explode #its a very plausible scenario at this point #theyve done it before #because oh does diavolo just not have the power to spot lies anymore?? ok #anyway im scared for the future of the story #this could go wrong in so many ways #obey me!#obey me! swd #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #obey me luke #obey me barbatos #posts #maybe barbatos just merges the timelines again and thats why everyone feels weird #idk im too tired to think more about this

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the-kipsabian · 4 months ago

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be honest

is my writing worth anything

#like.. does anyone actually read anything i post? does anyone at this point even know i write things?#am i as bad at it as i feel like i am? and any praise i give to myself is just a lie?#cause i dont know anymore. i feel like im just a fraud and everyone ever has just lied to me when they say they like my stuff #lbr its probably terrible #anyways just.. idk. im sad. i dont think im worth a shit with anything i do so lmao. whatever #maybe im just not a writer. just like i wasnt an artist. im just. nothing #i'd just.. like to know. is any of this worth anything? am i just wasting my time and energy and hopes and dreams with all of this?#i would just like an answer of some kind. please #night is an absolute mess on main

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supergraphicultramoderngirl · 17 days ago

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aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#brain is being weird again. i miss the person i thought you were before i found out how truly truly horrible you are #but that person doesn’t exist! i never met them because they aren’t real!#i just wanna meet my person yk. like yeah i don’t want to be in a relationship bc that sounds exhausting but also #it wouldn’t be exhausting if it was my person. i wanna know someone. i wanna learn how someone works.#i wanna take care of someone and be taken care of without asking.#and like the thing is is i definitely have my people in my friends like i already have them in this way #and i appreciate that so so much which is why i won’t settle for anything less ever again and why i’m no longer actively seeking something #but i really do just miss clicking that well with someone right off the bat. and i know most of it was probably 1) me being lied to and 2)#me trying to make myself palatable for him #but i haven’t felt that truly blatantly appreciated in a long time #i just wish that fate would work a little faster at putting my person into my lap is all #i’m not even gonna say that it doesn’t have to be The Person i’ll end up with and can just be One Of the people along the way #because now that feels like settling and if the universe doesn’t want me to settle then i won’t #and i’m not trying to be impatient because i know that it’ll happen when it’s supposed to and i can’t force anything #i just want it to happen so badly. i want to have my cute love story. i want to have it last longer than a week. in a good way this time.#and i know i vent a lot about this in my tags but this time feels different #i just want what is supposed to happen to happen. and i want to feel comforted knowing that it will.#i just need a sign that it’s gonna happen someday so i don’t lose my mind waiting for it #that i’m in the right place. and i’m right where i’m supposed to be #idk. i just know i don’t deserve to feel alone anymore. especially when i know i’m not.#this feels like a prayer. maybe it is. whatever.#mari is irrelevant

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iceeericeee · 1 year ago

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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

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courfee · 5 months ago

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just went through all my ao3 fics and edited all the tags because i feel like i overtag a lot and it always bothered me. tbf the most overtagging happens in my relationship/character tags but i find it super difficult to judge who/which relationship is important. like friendships are So Important in my fics i dont feel like i cant tag less there? especially my longer fics. amtc james&sirius and black brothers are in my mind at least if not more important than literally amtc jegulus. i know its a jegulus fic but also jegulus is just the catalyst for other relationship dynamics. how do you tag that stuff

#honestly same with operation wanker #i finally put the wolfstar tag at the end of the relationship list #because genuinely when i first wrote the fic i debated leaving that out completely because i just do not focus on them At All #but considering theyre the very reason for the whole fic i couldnt not tag them #but james and sirius in operation wanker are as important to me as jegulus #and they go through a similar plot line of developing and changing so ?? yk???#idk how to tag i am really bad at it honestly #as you can tell i have exam season #hence me doing anything but the things i should be doing #hp #fic rant #i need a tag for general ramblings #i did take out a lot of character tags in a lot of my fics #like in some of them i literally now have a relationship tag but not the character tag which im also still not sure at #like on lies and spies still has the peter&marlene tag but it doesnt have a marlene tag anymore #and im still debating if i should also take the relationship tag out but also its important for peters actions??? idkkk man i am bad at thi #took out a lot of tags from amtc because i just felt it was too long overall #like i do think they were not completely unimportant but it was such a wall of text i felt a bit overwhelmed #tagging fics where its literally just 2 characters and theyre romantically/sexually involved is so much easier #like on high delight the tags make perfect sense because its very obvious what the focus is on #but i so seldomly write fics that are confined to just a ship (/) dynamic #maybe this is my arospec that ive been eyeing for the past 10 years and keep ignoring showing #i just care about writing relationships (&) so much more honestly #ok thats actually a lie im not tooo good with just platonic fics but i like writing romantic stuff in the context of friendgroups #i like characters having to keep secrets from the people they usually tell evrything to #love exploring characters finding out they have friendship boundaries they previously didnt know about #love writing about trust and and conflicting feelings and having to make choices #also lmao very iconic of me to have 5km of tags on a post of me saying i am prone to overtagging. really proving my own point here

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obnoxiousarcade · 5 months ago

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I have a longing to be understood more than anything else i think

#someone very recently acknowledged something that usually goes unseen and it wasn't even that great of an acknowledgement but ive just been #staring at the messages every once in a while. its great. not really i sort of feel like a real weirdo #im very lonely. i cant say why but let it be known that i am very lonely #ok i have a question to those who lie their eyes upon this post: tell me what you know about me please?#so much lies in my social perception and i am just. not being perceived. at all. darn #i have a lot to cry about but morally i dont think i should-- specifics would mean being mean to the people i love #talking to anyone anymore just makes me feel horrible. doing anything anymore makes me feel horrible..tmbg has my back though ill live for #another.week or a few. and then my birthday will happen and rhen um #.Well. it sucks that sucks man. i dont want to disclose my age but to elaborate on why ACTUALLY HOLD ON #the thing i am about to say is not true; it is a metaphorical thing: it is my 21st birthday soon.#i decided that i wouldnt live past this age around 5 years ago and the only reason ive lived five years is being killed this year. i dont #think every thing ive been desperately clinging on to for the past 2 (?) years can keep me alive past then..i think im going to die. i have #to #NO MORE BEING A DOWNER #fox (vulpes vulpes) on the Internet for the first time #okay maybe a little more..i dont know who im talking to in this post. my friends do not read my tumblr and. i dont know anyone else.really.#uh #I'm listen to tmbg right now i love them #hey reader; i can only think of 3 people who see enough about me to check my blog. so i have separate questions for the each of you.#one of you likes (liked? school came in and i couldnt see your blog much past then; idk if its changed) tmbg. what do you think of The Else?#and uh you there... the guyyy. Google john flansburgh..i dont have a reason to this one ive just not been able to stop thinking about askin #you what you think of him.#um third person..... um #okay theres nothing iecan ask. i do want to apologize to you though: im sorry.#iThis is bullshit #im gonna delete this soon #Um also sorry if my wording here is. really wack. i tend to do that #i dont think anyones going to see this as is always #i think i just like talking to the hypothetical beast. yeah

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codenameregnar · 2 months ago

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Garashir song of all time imo

#like every line hits for them #garak wanting so badly to embody the optimism julian carries around in his chest at all times #acknowladging how theyve both been so hurt. and theyre both so strong for becoming who they had to be to survive it #julians willingness to read between the lines with garak. to trust the sentimate behind the lies. garak chosing to accept that he doesnt #need to be the person he was in the order anymore. that maybe julians right to not let go of compassion even in the face of ones own pain #his choosing happieness. once and for all. because of julian. for julian.#and god the wire! idk what they meant in the context of the actual song but I sure know how im reading it in this context #he just wants to be able to take away every bad thing thats ever happened to julian. take him back to cardassia. start over #and hed be willing to get hurt all over again. just for the chance they could be happy together. hed do it all over again for him #im just. this fucking song is about them cant change my mind.#i mean its all here #im losing my mind over it #regnarposting

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girl-bateman · 6 months ago

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Feeling a debilitating sense of dread and despair 🤨 Which probably means nothing😍👍

#girl help i cant get out of bed i feel so so awful for no reason at all #literally my soul is gone or something #i have no desires and no joys and no sense of being blessed #which is crazy bc i love life and im so blessed ! usually.#ig i should do something abt it tomorrow if it doesn't get better #alternatively get back into therapy bc tbh... after that horrible sex thing ive felt kinda off #like even after i was able to eat and sleep and function normally without the tremors and head jerks and whatnot #like its not dramatic anymore but i kinda feel drained of life and joy #moments of genuine happiness and fulfillment are ... ? idk. i did feel happy once this week and that was nice but it didnt last obviously #but like ! im not depressed in a depressed way. i take good care of myself and i read my books and eat food and hang out with friends #i just kinda dont recognise myself ig. i mean i know ill get my spark back but maybe i need some professional help #idk !! it kinda feels very silly tho #like ive been in and out of therapy for more than half of my life. and being one year therapy free was a big step for me !#so going back for this little ridiculous freakout feels like a setback #kinda like im making up things to be wrong with me just so that ill have someone to talk to ? or to have attention idk #it doesn't make sense bc i really was proud for getting bettter and i rly dont want to be in therapy anymore #but who knows 🤷‍♀️#there is also this slight risk. just clinically speaking by purely looking at symptoms of certain things. with no stake in the matter! lol #that there might be something bad and [lets not think too hard about it] that lies as a root cause of my little mental breakdown #like according to my sex having friends losing your virginity is awful but not THAT awful and not in THAT way #and my friend kinda said i scared her with how i was acting when i talked to her abt it. like my demeanour and body language and whatever #and i do trust her to know whats normal versus concerning when i dont have my own stable grip of reality #plus. if i was an outside party and applied my psych education on myself. i would say its not looking super good #but i cant really do that bc im not some random patient. im me myself and I 😩✋️ thank you #but whatever. itll be fine. tomorrow will be a better day ! yay !

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yourqueenb · 1 year ago

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I’m late on this, but has it already been established that Kaspar was the one who stabbed Nadja after she was already dead? It seemed like they may have been trying to imply that in the scene where we interrogated Kaspar and Emika the first time. But then Kaspar said he didn’t touch anything other than what he needed to to get the garrote out of Nadja’s neck. So I’m not sure if that means we should already know he stabbed Nadja (because you technically don’t have to touch people to stab them) or that he was trying to mislead us again by using that technicality and MC doesn’t know or that he didn’t do that at all and we should still be factoring in the stab wounds and dagger when considering who the murderer is

#choices CoP #choices crimes of passion #choices #choices stories you play #playchoices #the dagger is a collectible item/clue so maybe it’s the last one?#but then again Kaspar and Emika have lied to us by omission before so idk #it kind of makes sense that the murderer wasn’t the one who stabbed Nadja #bc I’ve been trying to make sense of why Nadja’s death would be personal or why they would want to make it *look* like it was personal #but I haven’t been able to come up with anything #I know in a previous posts I said it could’ve been that Vasili was trying to throw suspicion off of himself by doing that #but I’m not too sure of that now #I don’t know anything anymore 😭#choices app #pixelberry studios #pixelberry

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spencereid · 1 year ago

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thinking abt my dad and getting nauseous fr fr

#like is he the Worst dad? probably not #is he pretty bad? yes.#like as a person and it’s very sad of me being a grown woman and still believing that if i say the Right Thing the Right Way he’ll change #i don’t think anything i say will ever change the fact he thinks (and has literally said) it’s funny to make me upset #to such a point where when we argue he lich rally lies and intentionally miscontrues my argument so i get more worked up #like who says that? who does that? i’ve never had someone treat me like that EVER and if it were anyone else we wouldn’t be speaking anymore #bc that’s fucking sick and twisted and especially to do to YOUR ONLY CHILD #but i keep contact with him bc he’ll help me pay for college and i don’t wanna take out a loan for that #and i WANT a degree and i know i want a degree now but keeping contact with him for money makes me feel so sick #i feel like i’m having to sacrifice my integrity and my autonomy for this #maybe he knows that maybe that’s why he treats me like he does #idk #very long rant sorry it’s 2am and all my friends are asleep and i haven’t stopped thinking abt this for 3 days

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seddair · 1 month ago

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,