#maybe he starts going to the supermarket very often

[springtyme]

𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 ♡ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟏

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖! 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈

Simon catching baby fever, but you’re only roommates...

141 masterlist (there'll be a part two of this)

Before you, the only time Simon really left his flat when he was home on leave was to go to the gym or to go get groceries. 

He was content with this routine, he found comfort in the familiarity of it, and enjoyed the peace and quiet of his own space. Or at least that is what he told himself. This way of life had been sufficient for him for a long time, but as time went on he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. 

That is when Simon found himself considering the idea of getting a flatmate. He thought about it for a while, weighing the pros and cons in his mind. On one hand, he enjoyed his independence and privacy. On the other hand, having someone else around the flat could be a good thing, and he does have an extra bedroom in the flat that’s just collecting dust. Maybe it would be a good idea… Maybe.

After much contemplation, Simon finally decided to take the plunge and start looking. He posted an ad online, and waited for responses to come in. To his surprise, he received a good handful, he had actually not anticipated that that many, if any, would be interested in sharing his space. It is a little overwhelming, and as he goes through the applications he starts to doubt whether he had made the right decision. 

What if he didn’t get along with any of them? What if they were messy or loud or just generally annoying? It was a dumb idea to begin with, he thought to himself, but then as he looked through the last application, something caught his eye.You. 

You seemed responsible, tidy, and overall like someone he could get along with. But there was something more about you that intrigued him. Maybe it was the way you wrote about your love for cooking and how you were looking for a quiet and peaceful place to call home. Or maybe it was the photo you attached to your application, a warm smile on your face that made Simon feel at ease. 

Maybe this could work out after all. 

And work out it did, maybe a little too well. It has now been a little over a year since you moved in, and despite Simon being gone on deployment more often than not the two of you have become very close. You cook meals together. You watch movies on lazy nights, where you will sometimes fall asleep on the couch, your lashes kissing your cheek as the soft glow of the tv illuminates your face, and Simon can’t help but feel a warmth in his heart as he tucks the fluffy blanket, that you had brought with you when you moved in, over your sleeping form.

After you moved in, his flat feels more like a home than it ever had before. It’s like you were always meant to be there, filling up the empty space in his life that he didn’t even realise was there. 

There is something so oddly domestic about all the small things you do together – sharing a cup of tea in the evenings as you talk about your day, or even playfully arguing over who gets to do the dishes that night, even though he secretly never actually minds doing them. 

Pushing the trolley down the aisles of the supermarket as the two of you do the big shop together on Sundays are one of his favourites, though. Because he knows what it looks like from the outside – just a couple doing their weekly grocery shopping. The only thing that would make the scene even more picturesque would be with a little baby in the trolley, a perfect blend of the two of you, giggling and reaching out to try and grab for the items on the shelves as you both laugh and try to keep them entertained.

These thoughts will sometimes sneak into Simon’s mind, and he will quickly shake them away, reminding himself that it is just his imagination running wild. He can’t think like that, it isn’t fair to you or to himself. But still, the idea lingers in the back of his mind, growing stronger with each passing day.

It has started to get harder and harder to ignore these thoughts, these feelings. He tries to push them away, to bury them deep down, but they keep resurfacing. He never really expected to feel this way about you, about anyone, really. But now that he has you in his life, so close yet so far from what he actually wants to be he can’t help but dream about a different life, to have a family, a future, a life outside of the military and his flat.

Suddenly, Simon starts to notice more and more babies around him. Whether it’s at the park when he is on his runs, in Tesco, or even on TV, they seem to be everywhere. And each time he sees a baby, his heart aches with longing. It doesn’t help that your neighbours just had a baby, and he has to watch you coo over the little boy every chance you get. It is like a knife twisting in his chest, knowing that he will never have that with you.

It has always been a secret desire of his, a wish he knew he would never be worthy of having fulfilled. And yet, it linger in the depths of his heart, elusive and shimmering like a mirage in the desert. The dream of someday having a family of his own, of doing things right, of breaking the cycle he had grown up in. After meeting you, his dreams became more vivid, more concrete. 

He has fallen in love with you, and that scares the living daylights out of him. He never thought he would be in this situation, especially after all the sick shit he has been through. But here you are, filling up the empty space in his heart, making him yearn for a life he never thought he could have.

But Simon is good at keeping his emotions in check, so he continues to play his part, to act like everything is okay, like he doesn’t feel this overwhelming love for you that threatens to consume him. 

But late at night, Simon lies awake in bed, when he is sure you’re sleeping and he is staring at the ceiling, his heart feels heavy with the weight of his unspoken feelings. 

And when he tries to decompress, by fisting his aching cock in his hand, guilty thoughts of you will flood his mind, making him ache with longing. 

He knows it’s wrong, he knows he shouldn’t be thinking of you in that way. But the images of you, of your smile, of your laughter, of your kindness, they linger in his mind, fueling his desires. The way you smile and laugh and light up his life in ways he never thought possible, it fuels a fire within him so all consuming, so intense, that he can’t help but give in to it, even if just in the confines of his own mind.

And as he strokes himself, he can’t help but imagine what it would be like to have you in his bed, to feel your touch, to hear your moans of pleasure. He imagines what it would be like to hold you close, to feel your warmth against his skin, to hear you whisper words of love and affection in his ear. To have you beg for him to fill your womb and mark himself as yours. He would love it – to pump you so full with his cum, for it to take root, to see your body change with his child, to create a life with you, to have a family of his own. 

He will have to bite down on his own hand to stifle his groans and to stop himself from moaning your name out loud. It’s a dangerous game he plays in the silence of the night, as he knows that these feelings, these desires, can never be acted upon. But still, he can’t help but indulge in these fantasies, in these dreams of a life that he may never have.

And as he lies in his bed after, spent and worn, a sense of guilt wash over him. He knows that it’s wrong to have these thoughts about you. But he can’t help it, he can’t control it, and as he lies in the darkness of his bedroom, he can’t help but feel the sting of longing in his chest, knowing that you lie in your own bed just down the hall, so close yet so far away.

[theshy1sout]

Okay, so

I finally got my bf into reading Homestuck. I was on a phone call with him as he read it at loud, voice-acting and stuff, while I was drawing. Today he reached the Dave first appearance and he discovered Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

You have to understand that I always thought that this comics was just a stupid joke that only Hussie understands and finds funny. Bc the moment I saw the page with the dog (you know which one) I left the comics and never looked at it again. Until today.

My boyfriend read every single page of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff in complete silence. I asked him what's wrong, and he said "This is extremely sad". I was confused so he started explaining to me how this comics is a way little Dave was coping with trauma of living with his abusive brother. I didn't believe that, so I started reading the comics again and you know what?

Imagine adult Dirk, being completely under Lord English control, going shopping with little Dave and destroying supermarket in frustration of not finding anything that Calliborn would recognize as a food, being arrested by police in process and leaving little Dave alone hidden somewhere in the shop.

Imagine little Dave being pushed from the stairs so many times by his bro, he drew a caricature of himself pushing his bro off the stairs in revenge. Or being regularly beaten so hard and often, so he drew comics in which his brother got beaten up, shitted on and even brutally killed.

Imagine little Dave being so hungry (bc of course brother didnt give him proper food) he literally threw himself at a Subway sandwich machine during idk a walk with his bro (probably) and tried to steal some food or even just smell the actual normal food and while doing so got abandoned by his brother. Again.

Of course we can't interpret this way every single page of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, but come on, if you start seeing it, you cant stop sensing that every single page is either a way Dave coped with a traumatic experience or a way he kind of got revenge on his brother in a way his brother wouldn't understand and notice and beat him up for doing so.

I searched internet for so long and can't find a single person who would interpret it this way. Am I wrong though??

It gets better. As we know, Dave from universe B also drew this comic. And we even got a directly explained to us interpretation: he started drawing it as a simple comic (probably to cope with the loneliness). Then when Batterwitch became a real danger and he saw that but couldn't react directly, he started using his comics as a way to show what Betty Crocker was really like. So we also had this two characters, one represented Betty Crocker and the second one represented society, and they had this very abusive relationship that had references to situations in real life in Universe B.

So my theory (or more like my bfs theory) is that Dave from universe A was using his comics for the same exact thing. He drew situations from his life in a unreadable for others way (and also no one taught him how to draw or write, and maybe later he kept the shitty format so it's unreadable and too shitty for his brother to read) to cope with trauma. We see in this comics that Sweet Bro is shaving himself above Jeffs face while he sleeps, a thing that Dave's bro could definitely do. We see some pages of Dave trying to understand sport, economy and politics in his own way, bc his brother of course didn't teach him shit. And we even got a page that might suggest that Dave was sexually molested by his bro. There are many scenes of Bro being abusive to Jeff or Jeff getting his revenge. We also have Geromy, a possible interpretation of John, and on one page Jeff (Dave) tries to come to Geromy's (John's) place to visit him, but he can't and he drowns instead (which is so sad???).

I could go through every single page with this interpretation. I think some pages being a foreshadowings for what is happening later in Homestuck is just an additional joke, Hussie loves having layers of meta twists and many unrelated things relating or referencing each other for no reason. I don't think the comics is Dave's unconscious traveling through time and revealing the future, bc if so then we would see every single page of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff being a foreshadowing, and they are not. I also think that the huge wink to the audience was the scene of Dave being pushed by his bro down the stairs and we see him falling with accompaniment of a little panel of Jeff saying "I warned you about the stairs, bro". For me this is a visible hint that this is what this page of the comics was about, it was a way of coping with trauma, it was Dave drawing his brother falling down the stairs and himself saying probably a line that his brother irl was saying to him a lot.

Dave drew his life. His own horror of a life and it was probably more terrifying than he revealed in act 6.

Do you remember the iconic "bro hug" from Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff? A hug from his bro, sth that Dave really needed and wanted, a simple hug that he was very nervous to asked for, he literally drew himself hugging his brother in his second comic, and then we have the very same scene of Davepeta and Arquius hugging (part of them was Dave hugging Dirk, even if artificial), and then we have the exactly opposite of the scene between actual Dave and Dirk, when instead of enthusiastic "we're doing it bro, its happening, were making it" it's Dave saying "fuck forgive me for what I'm doing, this is so messed up fuck" and it's not even full embrace like in his comic, it's awkwardly side by side hug when they didn't even sit on the same level (like in the comic or with sprites), no, Dave is lower, he's smaller, he's scared, he cant face his brother, he wants to but he can't and this is just aaaansnanbska dmnsksnsdkydykdky

Can someone talk about this comic more? This flashy shitty documentary of Dave's life drawn by idk maybe 8 years old Dave ? The more I read Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, the more depressed I am, cause this is so sad if I'm right about it. I really wish it was just stupid colorful comic without any deeper meaning, just faking to have one or sth....

Also I think Geromy is black bc either Dave didn't know how John looks like so he imagined him being somewhat similar to his fav president Obama or maybe he was just trying to make John's character as unlike John as possible so no one would suspect a thing. Or maybe he just imagine himself being friends with young Obama, who knows.

After editing this chaotic rambling I have two more things as a prove for my theory. One is picture above, and second is what Hussie said about Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff:

“SBaHJ is absolutely inseparable from HS, and has been almost from the start. If you don't understand this, then you don't understand HS very well. SBaHJ is like the mentally handicapped step brother of MSPA, requiring special attention, but no less cherished as a part of the family. It was originally intended as the chief source of in-house memes for dialogue, but this is ultimately a superficial purpose. Though it only has 20+ strips, it contains a pretty dense and internally consistent language of recurring symbols and typo-driven grammars, applicable as a rich sub-cognitive lexicon for highlighting elusive elements woven into the mythology of the story which tend to be shrouded in the unconscious.”

[momotonescreaming]

Stardew Valley inspired AU where Steve works some boring corporate job for his father and he's absolutely miserable. His father has high expectations for him that he can't ever seem to meet, his mother just fawns under her husband's harsh gaze, and no one at work likes him because he's the bosses son. Doesn't seem to matter that his father doesn't like him much either.

So when he gets a call from their family lawyer, saying his granddads old farm has left legal hell and is officially his, he's very tempted to drop everything and leave. Get out of the city, escape his family, get a fresh start. The only thing holding him back, is his best friend Robin who also lives in the city. She tells him off for letting her hold him back. She'll miss him horribly, but she knows that he wasn't happy working for his father. He just has to promise to send her postcards and letters and to call her as often as he can. As soon as he’s settled she is going to visit and that is a fact Steve, you better get used to it.

Steve puts in his notice at work, cancels the lease on his apartment, and starts packing his things. He buys a trailer to hitch to the back of his Beamer to pack up all his stuff, has a very tearful goodbye with Robin, and drives to the small town of Hawkins.

He spends most of his time that first month getting everything sorted. Gives the house a deep clean, moves in what he bought of his stuff, and figures out what he still needs to buy. Does a check of everything he needs to repair or replace on the farm. Spends a lot of time clearing rocks and overgrown bushes and weeds and trees off of his land. Reads some books and takes some online classes on farming. Is determined to actually make this work.

Eddie has lived in Hawkins since he moved in with his uncle. Always had dreams of moving to the big city and making it big with his band. But for now he's still in Hawkins, working at Thatcher Tire, living with his uncle, trying not to get sucked into small town gossip. It's hard not to though, not when one of the local high school kids starts a rumour you're a cult leader because you run a DnD club and he thinks his girlfriend is cheating on him. It fucking sucked, but Eddie managed to graduate from high school the third time round, and the rumour mill slowly moved on.

Now, all everyone can talk about is the city boy who moved into the old abandoned farm just down the way. Apparently he's very handsome, very single, and looks like he hasn't worked a day in his life. And sue Eddie, he's fucking curious.

The first time Eddie meets the elusive city boy is at the post office, some months after he moved to town. The guy asks for the time, and politely introduces himself as Steve, the guy who's doing up the old farm. And the Hawkins gossips are right - the guy is handsome as hell. Carefully styled swooping brown hair that looks impossibly soft. Tanned skin dotted with moles. A tidy polo shirt that should look dorky but instead just really suits the guy. Fitting tight across his chest and straining against his biceps. For a supposed city boy, the man is unreasonably ripped. Maybe he is meant to be a farmer.

And then once they meet, it’s like the universe is playing a trick on Eddie because he can’t stop bumping into the guy. He sees him jogging through the city and Steve waves at him with a wiggle of his fingers. He sees him hiking through the woods with his new farm dog in training trotting after him happily. They’re in the supermarket at the same time, and they make small talk about food and Steve jokes that his stove is so old it’s like he has to teach himself how to cook all over again. Eddie goes to Merrill’s farm to drop something off for Wayne, and Steve is there, sleeves rolled up, glistening and sweaty, doing odd jobs on for a little extra cash.

A navy blue truck rolls into Thatcher’s one day, sturdy, big, with a small dent in the side. Good kit. And lo and behold Steve steps out. Clad in his usual blue jeans and a tight polo, twirling his keys around his fingers. He asks if there’s room for them to take a look at it, give it a service, or does he need to book in later? And Eddie says he’s free. There’s a lot of other things he needs to do, cars out the back to check over, but Steve is here. And so Eddie take a look at the truck so he has an excuse to talk to Steve. Asks him questions if there’s anything wrong with it, does he need to check anything in particular? And they chat, and Eddie brings up the beemer. Mentions it off handedly — did Steve swap it out for a truck? Something more farm appropriate?

And Steve just tilts his head like a confused puppy. Eddie know’s he has a beemer? And before he can think about it too much, Eddie says of course he does — it’s not every day that a handsome city boy rolls into a town like this in a fancy car like that. And Steve raises an eyebrow. Handsome? he asks. Eddie curses at himself under his breath. He could have pulled the mechanic card, said he keeps an eye out at all the cars in Hawkins. But of course he lost his tongue in front of the pretty stranger. But Steve just says he’ll take the compliment and smiles at Eddie in a way he hadn’t before.

Before it was small town polite — making conversation at the gas station or a smile of acknowledgement. But this is different. This smile is more. And so Eddie blushes, and rolls himself under the truck to hide his blushing cheeks. He thinks he hears Steve chuckle, bit graciously follows when Eddie steers the conversation away from the face he finds him pretty and onto a safer topic — farm.

And Steve sounds so genuinely excited when he talks about it. He finds the physical work really satisfying, he’s looking forward to getting to the point where he can actually plant crops. Wants to get a chicken coop, see how that goes, before he moves onto livestock. He likes the early mornings on the farm where he can watch the sun rise over the fields. He feels himself there on the farm.

Eddie jokes that the early mornings sound awful, he’s a night owl through and through — but the sunrise sounds nice. Steve laughs and says that's fair, he had to start waking up early in high school for swim team practice and now it’s ingrained into him. Handy for the farm now, which is a plus. Eddie admits that he’s been to the farm before — feels weird not too now — that he hopped the fence when he was teen and wandered the fields and the woods, having a smoke and a poke around. Steve is cool about it. The place was abandoned, and he would have done the same when he was young. He’s not as uptight as he looks — he had some semi-wild teen years of his own.

They talk, Eddie looks at the car, and then before he knows it — he’s done. The truck is all good. Runs like a dream. It’s time for Steve to pay and leave. And they’re both loitering in the doorway to the office, and Eddie knows it’s because he’s actually starting to really like the guy. He’s passionate, and kind, and also kind of a bitch which was delightful to find out. He’s handsome as all hell and is a genuine fucking guy. And he doesn’t want him to leave.

He looks over at Steve. Steve, who bites his lip, pink and plump, before looking up at Eddie through his lashes. And sorry if this sounds dumb, but does Eddie want to come visit the farm? Have a look around when it’s not abandoned and overgrown?

Eddie feels his cheeks flush, sees the identical blush now gracing Steve’s cheeks, and says yes. It’s a date.

[bwoahtastic]

Wait wait wait, Nico using Webber as his fake surname and then reuniting with Mark years later has so much hijinks potential. Nico meeting Mark again when he signs him and Oscar up for one of Nico's specialist yoga classes and being so entertained when Jenson, in the class with Lando, sets his sights on Mark but Mark completely fails to realise that Jenson is flirting with him.

Jenson very pathetically asking Nico to help him flirt with Mark, so to help his friend Nico begins inviting Mark round more often, and even decides to throw a dinner party where he seats Mark and Jenson next to each other. He tells Toto about what he's doing, but while Nico thinks he's telling Toto about how he's trying to help Jenson get a date, Toto is sat there thinking that Nico is talking about inviting his ex-husband round to the studio to watch him bend and stretch and around for dinner. He wondering whether Nico regrets divorcing Mark, whether Nico's trying to hint at an open relationship

Plss!!

Nico having his lil yoga studio and Jenson his triathlon buddy ofc comes over with little Lando to join the classes! And after Nico saw Mark again in the supermarket and Mark is back in his life, with the cutest little wombat chonq called Oscar (I think we said wombat Osc for this verse sksk)

Jenson setting his eyes on Mark and trying to flirt but Mark is clueless ksks. So really Jenson desperately needs Nico's help! Nico is more than happy to do so becayse he wants both of them to be happy and they would be a good fit, plus their kiddos love him!

Nico trying to help then and try to set them up! But Toto is a little insecure and confused about what is going on and the last name business and somehow he assumes that it's about Nico still wanting Mark and wanting to get back together, or maybe having an open relationship...

Nico noticing Toto is being off and making him talk about it, and ehen Toto starts saying he thinks Nico wants an open relationship and wants Mark, Nico just bursts out in laughter aksksk. He tries to regain composure and tells Toto they were never together, he took Mark's name because it's comforting, they were never married or together! Toto feels a litlte silly but Nico smiles he quite likes Toto a little jealous!

[wsknbfanaccnt]

Gurl I love your account!! Knb fandom is low-key dead so it's refreshing to see ppl who still like the show 🔥🔥

I have a request which (I think) is very diffrent from what you usually do? Basically your own headcanons about Akashi. But not NSFW or stuff like that. Just random headcanons you often think about, maybe some of his quirks, his favorite something...etc...

Anyway girl make sure you don't die cuz then who will post this delicious Akashi content ??😔

AAAAAAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH YALL I GOT A COMPLIMETN ON MY BLOG ASDHFKASJDHFLKJ HOOLY SHIT

YESSS i'd love to do that omfg

and you literally just gave me motivation to live HELL YEAH IMMA KEEP POSTING AKASHI CONTENT

i do have some already on this post that ive made so feel free to read that, but ive written more down below

i hope you like it AND THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!!

feel free to request more<3

tw! suicide and self harm at the end

(i hope this doesnt count as nsfw but i have a few strong headcanons abt this for him)

Akashi Random Headcanons

he was taught at an early age to put his pinky up when drinking or picking something up and he always gets teased by his friends for it

he plays Shogi with Bokushi in his head when he's bored (he literally plays blind chess why tf wouldnt he be able to do this?)

also argues with Bokushi a lot

he is secretly a metalhead and an ELITIST because his opinions are absolute (duh)

he talks to Shiori's grave when he's in a rough patch

he switches personality randomly throughout the day sometimes just to mess with people

he has online friends he plays chess with (NEEERRRRDDDD)

his name online is (this is more or less canon) Red Emperor

his hands are a bit calloused (from basketball, violin and stuff) and he's a lil insecure about it

when he needs to rant he takes Yukimaru out for a ride and rants to his horsey (with expletives)

his violin is a fucking Stradivarius (a brand on the same level as a Ferrari sports car)

fluent in many languages including, but not limited to, Spanish, Chinese, French, Italian, Arabic, Latin, Russian, German

he likes driving at night, it's so serene and calm for him

he HATES HATES HATES waking up in the morning and will willingly sacrifice a lecture session with Masaomi just to get 5 more minutes of sleep

sometimes he still eats popsicles from the convenience store to reminisce his time in Teiko

he is NOT a touchy person, he's gonna stay away from as much touch as possible (but he doesn't mind hugs)

he still has his first basketball that his mother gave to him as a kid and it's in his closet

he's never been to a supermarket lol and he does want to go inside one (he can and probably will buy every little flavor of everything that he sees interested)

when he does something slightly wrong he has an Internal panic attack and starts hearing Masaomi's voice yelling at him

uhhh he loves Sevonne (me) and considers her his wife <3

after everything that happened, he still keeps in touch with Midorima often and hangs out with him a lot

TW!

has thought about comitting suicide at one point in his life

not sure what point but one point

also has very faint scars on his upper thigh

[crying-fantasies]

Walking over clouds

Masterlist

It's still a mystery how the insecticons got their human, or their "queen" as they often referred to the then young human.

Some think you got near their nest in the middle of nowhere because they don't like to interact with humans a lot, they feast on what is around and in case food is scarce they'll migrate to better areas to keep on with their big necessity of organic matter to transform it to energon, so while ones think they dragged you inside by force some think you went with them out of you own volution, because no one wants to think about a little organic being forced down by one of them, maybe some do but most decepticons still have bad memories and recharge when they remember Kickback consuming a very much alive cattle mammal whole after Sharpnel told him so, the cleanup was hell.

At first some were worried about this, no matter who you ask, everyone is going to tell you the truth: the insecticons are awful, even their former decepticon partners will tell you so with more force because they had to interact with them.

There was always someone asking you to say the word, only one, or move or give some kind of signal, blink twice or whatever, to start your rescue, you only smiled while Barrage came to you for some snuggles, poking at your side with delicacy, purring, a bloody digit hanging from his mandibles and presenting it to you, "there is nothing wrong", maybe not for you but the bot or person that tries to "help you" gets the message quick and clear while one of your husbands look at them dead in the optics or eyes.

For years, to everyone's surprise, again, you have been the only partner near them, and somehow you've given them way more less destructive manners to obtain food while being accepted by other humans, avoid authorities involving.

A production has ended and they'll burn down the remaining weeds? Your husbands can eat them for free and also burn the rest to ensure a healthy new harvest.

Are there some kind of plague? Be it animals or diseases in the harvest they can eat it in a day.

They like to see you happy, so they listen to what you have to say, and when a problem raises and you have to say: "Ransack, not the sheep" while you stop any of them in their shit you can already see the culprit almost falling to their knees, if you are near then it's better, since they can't go against your will, and if they're caught red handed, just like Ransack, he would not be allowed into your chamber for the next month if he really consumed the animal because one, the farmer wouldn't let you or them near to their farm again after the transgression, one less food resource and one more headache to you, and two, because it's every bot for himself when it comes to times for cuddles or interface and there is only one you, and if they have to kick away one or two of them so they can use the time of the disgraced one for themselves they'll do it without thinking twice before you forgive the culprit and bring him back to your open, loving and forgiving body.

You're good like that, another welcomed characteristic of a good queen of the hive, a good mother of the hive.

No one knows how it happened, but, one day, their usually awful eating behavior stopped almost to the bare minimum before it got even worse, wiping out any life on the place except for the farms because you said those are important (should've been more specific and said that they couldn't eat what is of others in general), the near cities were also assaulted, mostly supermarkets and drugstores were whipped off of vitamin supplements and food edible for humans (also baby formula), it was Chop Shop (there was no evidence but also no doubts), and then the usual once a year strange chitter sound they made was nowhere to be seen or heard for at least five years, some even believed they finally consumed something that ended up with the whole hive, only to be show with the contrary.

The Insecticons were still pretty much alive, with a new member.

Cloudjolt was born in the first days of summer, to everyone's surprise and for no one's too, being the pride and joy of the whole hive even when he is a mech, at first you believed they would be more thrilled over a femme than a male since, well, that's how other hives and insects act in Earth's nature, but no, it could also be result of Cloudjolt being the very first child born and also so small that he could be mistaken with an underdeveloped baby if not for his obvious cybertronian characteristics and the lack of a formed face or limbs that appeared with time.

And, as expected, totally protected from the outside world for most of his existence.

Did he want to go out? Not before you are 50 years old, and then you go out with someone at your side.

Did he want to befriend something out of the hive? No way, humans are trouble and animals are food, Cloudjolt had some problems with that because his carrier is a human, Bombshell's words got back at him like a boomerang and he moved awkwardly while trying to touch your hip tenderly, visor looking at you and asking for forgiveness.

Maybe Venom was being overprotective and paranoid, as usual, with so much rules (the list got to the 154th one and he was being lenient), but none of them was taking any chances, there was no way they would lose or let anything happen to your sparkling, even if all that protection ended with Cloudjolt seeing his first sunshine light when he finally reached 5 years old and his derma finally hardened.

All of that resulted in the youngling practically shouting "ENOUGH" when one of his sires gave him a piece of fruit, totally frustrated with his situation and getting his things, the ones he could take easily with him at least and decided to go out of the hive alone for the first time, all by asking his carrier for permission and taking advantage of your words to the max, taking advantage of the power your words had over your partners and running away from home the first chance he got, he was just so feed up with everything!

You were worried, of course you were when looking the giant beetle flying away to where you couldn't reach when Buzzclaw got you to the exit of the hideout and got next to the others, all your partners looking at the horizon while their wings dropped at their sides in obvious stress.

"Cloudjolt left us just like that"

"He is awful"

"He is heartless"

"..."

"He has grown to be such a fine mech, mech"

"He is a true decepticon now"

Were you surprised by their words? not really, you're more confused on where they got their napkins to dry their tears, apparently proud ones, since they were acting like that then maybe it was normal for Cloudjolt to finally go see the world for himself in this way.

Still, you totally forgot to talk a little bit more with your baby before he jumped helm first to the outside world.

"Cloudjolt, what did you say just now?"

"What?" Why was everyone looking at him like that? "I just said that I miss the warmth of my carrier's gestation chamber", the young bot crossed his arms above his chest, he was purring, or something like that, trying to mimic your EMF to bring himself some calm and less homesickness.

"You remember that-? No, of what gestation chamber are you talking about?!"

He laughs, drinking his cube as if nothing happened, "What? I came from my carrier just like any of us, isn't that right?"

"..."

"You came from your carrier..." Mariah tries to make him correct her, desperately so, while she moves her servos to form a little body, one of an average human, "your very much human carrier"

"Well, yes, of course, I only have one carrier and I'm pretty sure I came from there, I may not have the complete memory but I do remember after I came out, quite gushy and full of fluids but it's understandable with all the flesh"

"..."

"Bro" of course, only Sabersky said shit and that's what he can say from outside in his own altmode.

"Why are you guys looking at me like you don't know..." He can't even finish his question, quickly catching on what is possibly happening, "wait, where do you guys come from-?"

"Enough!" Astrotrain changes back and gets them out of him, no one wants to be crushed inside when he gets back to root mode, looking as he is having little tremors on his derma by only thinking about it in his own way of expressing physical disgust, "Why can't any of you be normal, for Primus' sake?!"

Ah, maybe Cloudjolt would visit you and demand answers from his sires, but really, what is he expecting? Answers in how he was created? How they nursed your body to top healthiness in order to have you survive the whole ordeal? How Bombshell adapted your body slowly but safe within the years? How Sharpnel got his transfluid first to create him? How all of them gave a little portion of themselves in the transfluid that helped to create his body for the new spark, slowly molding inside your body to create a new life? How his own gestational chamber is way less sterile and more functional than most cybertronians?

The insecticons are awful and everybot knows it, now Cloudjolt understands why other bots look at him like they do.

[barcalover86]

A fic about Pedri who’s girlfriend works in corporate finance and has insecurities about herself when she hears from one of his exes about his playboy lifestyle before he met her

Pedri One Shot

Insecure- P.G. x Reader

Hola a todos, so happy for my first request!❤️ Hope you like it!!

Be free to send me requests, I will answer you all!!!

I've been with Pedri for 7 months. He is my first boyfriend. I trust him more than anyone, I gave myself to him. Since the beginning, I knew that he had a few relationships, but he always says that I am his first love.

I am no one special, just a 20 year old girl who works as a corporate finance. I've been doing this job for some time, my family not being as rich as they would like to. All the time, I tried to help them with some money, and now me dating pedri helped their situation a lot.

People know about our relationship, but they don't see as often together. We try to be as private as possible so that we can enjoy each other truly.

We have pretty busy schedules and only see each other after 7 p.m. (19:00). I work a lot and enjoy what I do, but being so far away from my boyfriend isn't the best thing.

When we see each other at home, he is really tired and wants to sleep. We started to talk so little, only hellos and how was your day, and that's all. I try not to let these bad feelings affect me, but every day, it's starting to be harder and harder.

I miss my boyfriend a lot, but try to understand him. After all, he is a famous football player for Barcelona. Not everyone can achieve that.

This morning, I woke up early having a bad feeling about this day. Pedri has training at 12 p.m. today (12:00), so at this hour, he is still sleeping peacefully next to me, his hand being around my waist. I smile at his beautiful face, kissing slowly his forehead.

I am so in love with him and can't believe how lucky I got having a boyfriend like him.

I get out of bed and get ready to leave for work. After I ate some eggs, I went once again to kiss Pedri's face, who was still sleeping, probably dreaming.

When I arrived at the building, I said hello to everyone I knew and went to my office. I had a lot to do today, so I didn't even realise that it was already time for lunch break. Pedri must be training now, so I hope everything goes alright for him. I decided to go to one supermarket that was near me to get some food for me to eat and a drink. When I left the building, I heard someone pronouncing my boyfriend's name. I look around to find one of his ex-girlfriends, the prettiest one, in my opinion.

"No se, chica. Cómo pudo dejarme por... ella!? Has visto cómo se ve? No puedo decir lo que le gusta de ella." (I don't know, girl. How could he leave me for her? Can't tell what she likes about her.) you heard her saying.

You start to feel really, really bad about herself.

"No te preocupes. Él la dejará pronto como lo hizo con todas las chicas. Tal vez todavía tengas una oportunidad con ella. de verdad eres la mas linda" (Don't worry. He'll leave her soon like he left all the girls. Maybe you still have a chance with him. You are really the most beautiful one), her friend told her.

I trust Pedri with all my heart, but right now, I start to overthink. Am I good enough for him? Does he still love me? These days he is very distant, but it's only because he is stressed about the next matches that are really important...right?

"Si, probablemente. Como si se fuera a dormir con chicas todo el tiempo. Todo el mundo sabe que tuvo sexo con muchas chicas solo para sus necesidades. Este hombre no tiene sentimientos, simplemente perfecto para mí. Somos exactamente iguales. Y, Dios, echo mucho de menos su lengua. Realmente es un <magician>." (Yes, probably. Like he goes to sleep with girls all the time. Everyone knows that he had sex with many girls just for his needs. This man has no feelings, just perfect for me. We are exactly the same. And, gosh, I miss his tongue so much. He really is a magician.) his ex said to her friend.

I walked away in tears. My mind was only on his ex's words. First of all, I can't believe he was with that girl, and second of all..does he cheat on me? I couldn't eat anymore, so I went back to my office with only one bottle of water. I had to stay here another 5 hours. I tried not to think about the worst and concentrate on my work, but my kind wouldn't let me.

I didn't know what to believe. I felt so heartbroken, and if pedri was seeing someone while being with me, I couldn't blame him. I wasn't a model, an influencer. I didn't know how to do a pretty makeup for me, so mostly I only wore mascara. I didn't have an athletic body like other people he slept with, and now my mind was on, "what was he thinking when he saw me naked for the first time?".

The rest of the time, I was silently crying. Didn't even finish my work, so my boss got mad at me but eventually forgave me. I really appreciated that.

When I got home (7:30 p.m/ 19:30), I was surprised to see that Pedri wasn't home. I started to panic really hard. Maybe he was with a girl? You two didn't have your moment for almost 2 weeks now, and maybe he was needy? But why wouldn't he tell you that, you could have helped him.

When your boyfriend came home was 8:46 p.m. (20:46). He never came that late without telling you. You tried to call him several times, but he didn't pick up the phone nor answered your messages. You were worried that he might have gotten into an accident, but somehow managed to calm yourself down when you saw him standing in front of you.

"Hol-" he wanted to say, but you interrupted him. "Dónde estabas?" (Where were you?).

He looked into your eyes and saw that you had been crying. "Amor, estas bien?" (Love, you okay?) he asked, worried. "Paso algo? Estabas llorando, mi niña?" (Something happened? Were you crying, my girl?)

He quickly went to hold you, but you stepped back. He heart ached. Did he do something wrong?

"Me repito Pedro. Dónde estabas?" (I repeat myself, Pedro. Where were you?) you asked again, now a little bit more angry.

"En el entrenamiento, mi amor. Te dije hace unos días que tengo una entrevista a las 2 p.m.(14:00) y luego mi entrenamiento empieza a las 5 p.m. (17:00)" (At training, my love. I told you a few days ago that I have an interview at 14:00 and then my training starts at 17:00)

You suddenly remembered that he told you that. You start to feel so bad that you forgot about him. You felt the tears forming but didn't want to cry. You still weren't sure that these days he hadn't seen any other girl. You were a shy girl, but you really wanted answers, so you spoke what you felt.

"Te sientes caliente?" (Do you feel needy?)

"Que?" (What?) he answered, really confused. "Qué quieres decir?" (What do you mean?)

"Te hago sentir satisfecho? Si estuvieras caliente, ¿vendrías a mí? Me lo dirías? Soy lo suficientemente bueno para ti? Soy al menos la mitad de sus estándares? Todavía me amas? Me amaste alguna vez? Si quieres tener sexo con alguna chica, dímelo. Nos separamos y luego-" (Do I make you feel satisfied? If you were horny, would you come to me? would you tell me? Am I good enough for you? Am I at least half your standards? Do you still love me? Did you ever love me? If you want to have sex with a girl, tell me. We break up and then-) you started but he interrupted you.

"No no no no. No te atrevas a decir algo así! No te atrevas a pensar tan bajo de ti mismo!! Eres mi primer amor, y me duele muchísimo cuando te escucho hablar de eso. No quiero a ninguna otra chica excepto a ti, mi amor. Te quiero a ti y solo a ti. Por supuesto que estoy necesitado de ti. Quiero cada minuto para estar contigo. Me haces sentir tan bien en la cama y nuestro amor es el más fuerte." (No no no no. Don't you dare say something like that! Don't you dare think so low of yourself!! You are my first love, and it hurts so much when I hear you talk about yourself like that. I don't want any other girl except you, my love. I love you and only you. Of course, I am needy towards you. I want every minute to be with you. You make me feel so good in bed, and our love is the strongest.)

In that moment, you started to cry. He hugged you, and when you were ready, you told him everything. He listened carefully, making sure to leave kissing all around your body.

"Déjame mostrarte lo bien que me haces sentir. Déjame mostrarte lo hermosa que eres, mi dulce vida." (Let me show you how good you make me feel. Let me show you how beautiful you are, my sweet life.) he told you and carried you to your room where you spend the night together.

I hope you like it. Let me know your opinion on this.🙌

Have a great day, people!

[theultimatekamehamehavoc]

Naegami Fluff and/or Shenanigans 10

Byakuya just looks like he's like mint cookies. I dunno why I feel this way but he just gives that to me. Plus, it's KINDA cute as a headcanon. Like, mint cookies, minting money. Uh... Mint is green His tie is green. I dunno! This one is very miniscule. Which is why I am now going to expand this thought via Naegami. Aka, one day, Makoto accidently steals Byakuya's stupid little mint cookies. Hijinks insure. Ahem It all begins one day when Makoto's a bit hungry and lost of what to eat. He doesn't really feel like cooking at all. Maybe he's just feeling a bit lazy and lethargic that day. Or, perhaps, he was just craving a little snack. Regardless though, the boy decides to rummage around in the pantry in search for a tasty treat to sink his teeth into. Eventually, the boy finds a nice box of mint cookies and, without much thought, he opens it up and begins snacking. He then takes the box with him and maybe does some activity while eating a bit mindlessly. Maybe watching some videos, reading some manga. What matters though is that, after a while, the box becomes empty and he's both a bit bummed out that there's no more cookies but also just a bit embarrassed that he ate them all like that without noticing until the last minute. Makoto tries not to think much of it though and swiftly discards the empty box. Here's him munching on one of the cookies btw.

Fast-forward a day later and Byakuya searches the pantry in search of a small serving of the cookies he "invested" in that he totally didn't buy on a whim with his boyfriend in a dinky supermarket to try something new. However, gasp! They're gone! Who could have done this? Certainly not the heir! He would have known if he'd ate them all. He's not one to forget such a fact. Thus, his head turns to the only culprit there that could have done such a thing to his Great Value thin mint cookies that he was lowkey a tad bit interested in trying and judging for himself. Emphasis on the judging cus the heir's got a way more refined taste to actually ENJOY Great Value cookies like the average joe. And, Makoto. Yeah, him. There is just that immediate realization in his eyes. Oh, crap. he done goofed, didn't he. Therefore, the boy tries his best to tell the truth. Before he can confess what he did though, Byakuya interrupts him and begins his investigation. Basically, Byakuya literally treats this whole situation like a crime case. A crime scene with a murder victim, suspects, and a culprit that needs to be caught at all cost. Therefore, the bastard starts interrogating Makoto, acting that he really IS upset and has no choice but to solve this mystery once and for all. However, Makoto can tell the heir isn't TOO mad though the word's the heir says aren't to be ignored. The boy can tell that, even though the cookies were cheap garbage in the heir's eyes, he still had that long-lasting curiosity to actually try them. By eating the mint cookies, Makoto took that away from him. So, regardless of the lighthearted air to the situation, Makoto still had that guilt festering inside. The heir's antics do distract his mind a bit as he questions Makoto on where he was on the night of the crime, estimates the time in which the crime took place, and even pulls out a notepad to write down all of this information. Eventually, Makoto ends up spilling everything after this goes on for a while. He played along for a bit. However, the boy's guilt kept festering and festering into a boiling point that he could not handle any longer. When he speaks of what occurred, Makoto is very visibly embarrassed. Though he isn't one to do this type of thing often, the fact that he ingested a whole box of the thin mints still left him feeling ashamed. Byakuya does end up cheering the boy up in his own Togami way however. Like, the two chat a bit and it's oddly sweet.

Byakuya basically tells Makoto that he wasn't that mad at him and he should have expected something like this to happen at some point. The heir's picked up on Makoto's good and iffy habits after all. Makoto can't help but say sorry again though cus Makoto's just like that. They decide to put this situation aside though and get some new cookies instead that aren't Great Value ones. Aka, it's baking time!

Here's them with the cookies. They made too many.

[ineffable-endearments]

Deep dive into The Coffee

The following is primarily about the symbolism of the Metatron's coffee.

Once I started thinking about it, there's a lot of cool stuff going on there (depending on whether you think, you know, symbolism is "cool," but I do!).

I think it points toward certain interpretations of what the characters are feeling and what their motivations are, but it isn't about the coffee itself affecting the plot beyond the obvious (it's a love-bomb the Metatron is using to seem friendly).

I was thinking about The Coffee as a sort of shadow version of the Fruit of Knowledge and wondering: why the heck would you choose coffee for this symbolism? It's obviously a very common, non-suspicious beverage in Soho, but surely they could come up with some creative reason for the Metatron to come bearing pretty much any edible item. Out of all the foods and beverages in the world, why coffee? Why not, for example, fruit, or Eccles cakes, or meat - or, for that matter, tea, or cocoa, which we already know Aziraphale enjoys?

But it does make sense. And it also makes sense that it's not just a cup of coffee, it's an oat milk latte with a dash/hefty jigger of almond syrup.

Here, I'll be making the big assumption that the Fruit of Knowledge is relevant to Aziraphale as a metaphor - as something he would consider desirable but forbidden. He was supposed to be guarding it in Eden ("technically, I was on apple tree duty"). And Crowley, with his red hair like the apple, has spent the past 6000 years trying to impart the knowledge of "good" and "evil" to Aziraphale, who in turn has desperately wanted Crowley and also considered him off-limits. Crowley is Aziraphale's Apple of Eden.

Here are a few observations about The Coffee, contrasted with the Fruit of Knowledge and, in some cases, the ox ribs.

The coffee is heavily processed - Fruits, including the apple in Eden, exist straight from the natural world in a form that you can pluck from a tree and eat almost whole. Meanwhile, coffee has to go through a lot of processing between the time it's a coffee berry (also a fruit!) and the moment it's recognizable as the beverage so many people immediately reach for every morning. There's a long, often-unethical production chain there, involving many people.

The oat milk latte with almond syrup is further complicated. The apple is plain and straightforward - it simply is Knowledge in fruit form. It's "pure." The coffee was already heavily processed to become coffee, and now multiple other ingredients have been added. A fancy latte beverage involves the preparation of the milk and the syrup in addition to the coffee beans.

There's a lot going on behind the scenes here. There may, as Crowley pointed out, have been a lot going on behind the scenes in Eden with the Apple purposely placed for the humans to see, but it still feels like there's significance to the difference between a thing that springs from the ground as a food item and a thing that has to be processed over and over before it's ready to consume.

Maybe the point is that the Apple of Eden did exactly what it was said to do from the beginning - gave Adam and Eve Knowledge one way or another - whereas the coffee is a heavily-altered, almost unrecognizable version of the truth.

The coffee is heavily sweetened with additives - This is the real important part for me. Fruit is, broadly speaking, naturally sweet. This obviously varies from piece to piece, as anyone who's sorted through a pile of fruit at the supermarket would know, but the most widely-understood appeal of fruit as a concept is its sweetness. Without any other input, we could guess the Fruit of Knowledge was pretty sweet, too.

Meat, ox ribs, are very different from fruit, obviously. Savory and a bit salty. But they are another food item with broad appeal.

Coffee, particularly espresso, is naturally bitter, to the point where drinking it black is often an acquired taste. The Metatron picked a particularly sweet type of milk and a sweet-flavored syrup.

He had to sweeten his deal a lot to make it palatable to Aziraphale.

The coffee is not "of the flesh" - There are no animal products listed in the ingredients to the Metatron's latte. It's vegan. Oat milk is plant-based. Almond syrup is a plant flavor, likely made with sugar, also a plant. Coffee is a plant.

Aziraphale's other major culinary experience this season? The one where he become more worldly, more of-the-flesh? Yeah, the ox ribs. Meat. The latte is, I suspect, the Metatron's subtle rejection of that worldly pleasure.

The coffee is not Aziraphale's usual preference - We've never seen Aziraphale drink coffee before. We've seen him drink wine and tea and hot cocoa and champagne and sherry, but never coffee; in fact, Crowley's espresso order seems to be set up in contrast to Aziraphale's taste. And when the Metatron brings it to him, Aziraphale initially hesitates. To be fair, I do read his enjoyment of the latte as genuine. I don't think he was lying when he said it tasted good. But he only drinks it after an awkward push from the Metatron.

The coffee contrasts with Crowley's espresso - Season 2 is bookended by espresso beverages. At the beginning, Crowley enthusiastically downs an absurdly hype-inducing, bitter concoction of six espresso shots all in one gulp to prepare for whatever weirdness is waiting for him in the bookshop. He doesn't seem to care either way about the taste. At the end, Aziraphale hesitantly sips his heavily-diluted, sweetened espresso under social pressure. He does admit he likes the taste.

Give Me Coffee Or Give Me Death - The Metatron points out the name of the coffee shop, which possibly sets us up to consider that a choice between anything and death isn't really a choice at all. He also muses that people are very predictable for always choosing coffee over death. This is all done outside of Aziraphale's awareness. Maybe that's because the coffee vs death thing is more about the Metatron's underlying motivations - to coerce and force Aziraphale to accept his role in Heaven no matter what - than about something Aziraphale is consciously aware of.

So, since I'm theorizing that the coffee is a metaphor for the Metatron's offer, here's what I think it's hinting toward.

Aziraphale's emotions and motivations:

Aziraphale didn't start that conversation with any interest in what the Metatron was saying. Coffee's not his order. This didn't start out as a successful temptation, per se. It was a coercion that appeared harmless on the surface (drink the coffee/entertain the conversation to be polite).

Now that they've had their conversation, Aziraphale did like some aspects of the Metatron's offer. That part is a successful temptation.

If we assume Aziraphale really liked the coffee and then run a parallel to the Metatron's offer, it's not hard to see what sufficiently "sweetened the deal" for him: the offer to bring Crowley to Heaven. The Apple of Eden, Crowley, gave Aziraphale the knowledge of good and evil; the sweetened coffee - the suggestion that Heaven could change its mind about Crowley - once again obscured it.

All that stuff about Heaven being the side of Truth and Light and Good came out because Heaven appeared to be changing its mind about Crowley. Crowley is kind of symbolic of everything on Earth for Aziraphale, so presumably, if it can change its mind about Crowley, then it could do things better for Earth, right? Heaven's good intentions must have been sincere after all.

The Metatron's offer and underlying plan:

The Metatron has a complex plan. He's manipulating a lot of people, not just Aziraphale.

The Metatron is using sweetness to conceal a bitter plan that he knows Aziraphale will find unpalatable (separating him from Crowley).

The Metatron is going to present going to Heaven as a choice, but it isn't really one.

For some reason, the Metatron does need Aziraphale back in Heaven, and it's easier if he comes willingly, perhaps if he believes it's his own choice. They're not going to send a bunch of disguised Archangels to abduct him this time.

The Aftermath

So, Aziraphale has been taken in by the coffee, the Foisted Fruit, although the Metatron was not actually giving him a choice at all. Aziraphale botched the philosophical talk, but his choice has probably put off something worse.

Note that in the Final Fifteen, Aziraphale essentially tries to present the same temptation he fell for to Crowley: we can be together in Heaven.

But unlike what Adam did with Eve, Crowley rejects it, because he sees right through it. Instead, he counters with the truth about Heaven and the truth about his own feelings, both in verbal form and with a kiss, once again reprising his role as the Serpent of Eden and the Apple of Knowledge.

Aziraphale, having already swallowed the belief that Heaven is capable of changing, feels Crowley's attempt to disillusion him is a betrayal, an attempt to stop him from doing Good. Notice how when Aziraphale touches his lips longingly after the kiss, he finishes by looking angry and wiping, as if to dismiss what's been shared with him. But you can't un-eat fruit. And you can't be un-kissed.

The Metatron comes back while Aziraphale is clearly having a crisis of conscience. Try as he might to wipe the kiss away, it happened. And he heard the things Crowley said. And he keeps glancing toward Crowley.

This is a tricky moment in the Metatron's plan, because the sweetener he used to get Aziraphale to "drink the coffee"/accept Heaven is no longer in there with Crowley out of the picture. He rushes in and pushes Aziraphale to start his new job, dismissing Aziraphale's excuses. The fact that the Metatron needed Aziraphale without Crowley was the bitterness in the plan that he had to disguise with sweeteners.

Aziraphale, left without sufficient time to think, resolves to simply not think about his first choice, the choice that just walked out the door.

And then, at the last second, to ensure Aziraphale gets in that elevator, the Metatron reveals that the next step in the Great Plan is the Second Coming. Why reveal it at the last second, when Aziraphale is going to get on the elevator anyway?

Because it's the clincher. The Metatron knows Aziraphale won't be able to resist trying to make a difference.

He needed to divide Aziraphale and Crowley. He needed to get Aziraphale's hopes up about being able to make a difference with Crowley first. Then he needed those hopes dashed harshly so that Aziraphale would be at a loss, susceptible to joining Heaven to find a purpose again, now that Crowley is out of his life and the bookshop is being looked after.

And now, by emphasizing Aziraphale's knowledge of Earth and telling him the plan to destroy it at the same time, the Metatron gives Aziraphale a whole new purpose: thwart the Second Coming.

This has been the "predictable" part that the Metatron was scoffing about in the coffee shop. He knew that chain of events would happen. He knew Crowley would reject any suggestion of returning to Heaven, and he knew that would leave Aziraphale upset and vulnerable enough to be swept away, and he knew saving Earth would matter to Aziraphale.

THIS is the moment Aziraphale realizes he's choosing between coffee and death. He has to choose the coffee, of course.

But Crowley has rejected Heaven. He hasn't rejected Aziraphale. He's still there.

And Aziraphale looks back at Crowley the instant he's told Earth is in danger again. You can be confused, but you can't un-eat the Apple of Knowledge. He hasn't forgotten.

There is an alternate reading here: Aziraphale lied about enjoying the coffee, and he is also lying about his beliefs about Heaven being genuinely good, and he recognized that he was choosing between coffee and death way earlier, during the conversation when the Metatron brought up Crowley. I like that reading, too, and it would indeed change the flavor of some of the things that happen afterward.

But either way, we reach the same point at the end of the episode. That grin in the elevator? Maybe that's Aziraphale realizing he's going to have to be unpredictable, just as Crowley said he could.

[of-mutton-and-wool]

So more cotl reincarnate thoughts

Basically reminder

Because the youngest died first

The youngest are the oldest and the oldest are the youngest

I’m not entirely sure if their disabilities carry into this life ( I am leaning towards yes so, we are going to assume these apply here)

Oh and it’s like hundreds of years after the main plot so it’s modern times

Shamura

- their about 14-15ish at the start of this au

- their parents are pretty neglectful. They keep food in the fridge but never have time to see shamura, so they mostly spent time by themselves when they were at a age where they could ‘take care of themselves’

- because of this neglect shamura struggles in social interactions because nobody taught them anything how to really interact with their peers

- plus they struggle in school due to undiagnosed memory issues + adhd (they don’t know. Doctors scare them so they try not to say anything)

- they aren’t exactly bullied? But like, they aren’t exactly friends with anyone either

- … its lonely at school.

- because of this shamura is very enthusiastic and latched onto anyone who gives them the time of day

- this leads to shamura befriending Leshy, the city’s local Florida man.

- they got a shitty laptop for their 12th birthday and have unrestricted internet access (to their gain and detriment)!

- their main interests are mythology, video games, and programming + hacking

- they honestly feel the safest inside their room in a little tent they created with webbing and tents

- they babysit camellia from time to time!!

- once did soccer. Got kicked off because they bit another kid

Leshy

- like, 30

- he was born blind :].

- he’s married!!! To the yellow cat, Elio!! They have a daughter and her name is camellia!!

-how does that work? I don’t know! Its best not to ask

- he loves his family very much

- he’s known for causing trouble around the city, no major crime (to his dismay, but he has a husband and daughter he wants to stay close to).

- he thinks the governing body of the city is a bunch of cowards

- I’m not entirely sure how Leshy gets around just yet but I’m tempted to give him a service worm which assists him in his schemes! Or he’s lived in the city his whole life. Maybe both.

-cops hate him. He hates the cops.

- sorta concerned that shamura hangs around him because ‘shouldn’t you be hanging out with your peers??? ‘

- but hey leshys got a pal!

- Leshy 🤝 shamura (living in the unmarketable part of town)

- he can purr :]

- Leshy really resents his parents. They were the opposite of shamura’s, they were VERY overprotective and basically locked Leshy at home

- he doesn’t talk to them anymore. They’ve long since moved out so they will leave him alone.

- when he’s upset Leshy tends to fall back into some old self destructive habits

- despite being very lively he doesn’t often go to crowded parts of town because he much prefers to be able to hear thank you very much.

Heket

- late 20s (probably about 28)

- she feels… stuck. She didn’t have enough money for collage and she ended up dropping out of high school for reasons I can’t think of right now

- she lives with her family and siblings. They operate decently successful supermarket.

- heket wants to be satisfied but she’s not. There is this anger inside her she can’t do anything about.

- she’s had her fair share of petty crime in her youth. Unlike Leshy she’s mellowed out.

- she’s selectively mute again due to lore reasons. She knows sign language and usually keeps a notepad on her.

- She sees kallamar a lot, and being the only other person she knows who knows sign language, she and him are good aquitances

- the type to blast music when she’s upset

- the only one I would trust behind a steering wheel

- decent relationship with her parents (shocking).

- decent with kids as well! She babysits her siblings a lot. Babysat shamura when they were younger (they haven’t spoken since)

- probably started smoking in high school and has yet to quit the habit

- honestly romantic intimacy scares her so she’s not in the romance scene

- she actually used to be in a band! She still has her base and plays it sometimes, reminds her of simpler times

- also as a way to try and manage her anger she took up crocheting. While not particularly patient she can make a damn good granny square.

- she doesn’t drink. She just doesn’t consider herself a fun person to drink around.

Kallamar

- about 24ish

- cunty,, in collage. He’s a trust fund kid </3

- he’s in college for medicine but really kallamar wants to be a fashion designer (but daddy said no because ‘that’s not a man’s job’)

- still, when he isn’t drowning in work kallamar daydreams about running his own clothing brand.

- kallamar frequents a local convenience store because they are the only place to have the drinks he likes, and thus he’s become friendly with heket!

- considers her his friend. Your honor he’s just a little lonely

- you will NEVER catch him lacking in the fit department. Will GUSH about his choices if you let him

- some of his fits are definitely not practical tho, he just doesn’t know when to not wear something

- he makes most of the stuff he wears! His mother taught him

- he thinks he’s pretty. Not in a vain way, he just thinks he’s an attractive person

- pericings guy.

- he’s an average student, not particularly special.

- he envies heket a little because it looks like she’s got it all figured out and has her whole life set out

- kallamar is paralyzed by uncertainty in his one future

- he’s got a fast reaction time, VERY good at dance dance revolution.

- he’s to afraid to get a tattoo but he paints little symbols on himself!

- very sassy. Kinda mean to, in his head he’s Regina George but in reality he’s just kinda pathetic

- however he gives really good advice.

No narinder lore (yet) sorry :[

[raichett]

Okay, so - I was going through an old chat log I had with @definitelynotshouting wherein worldbuilding for my fic Apple Cinnamon Pies was brought up and I finally realised that maybe it should be made publicly available lol.

This is copy/pasted verbatim (only things I said), and basically all you need to know is that TJ was asking about the minutiae of how healing magic works in ACP-verse and joking about how sickness in-universe would work with special mention to Grian being 1000 years older than Scar and how that would affect their views of how to go about treating sickness. And then I made it angsty.

( + other worldbuilding extras too!!)

---

Well, first of all, in my head stuff like healing potions and regen potions (+ golden apples, etc) are technically perfectly fine to drink/eat. The only thing that changes with dilution is the speed at which it heals and that’s important for a person’s long-term health (and also a hospital can stretch out supplies further). How do I explain this?

So, if your body experiences a sudden injury or change (← key word is change), like you have a tooth pulled at the dentist or something, your body is pretty much like “ayo, what the fuck was THAT??” and you get shivery/weak/can potentially go into shock. Same with taking an injury and then healing it instantaneously. Your body gets a whack of “oh no sudden change”, and if you experience the injury and the healing very close together then you get double-whammied.

If you’re used to it, like Grian and other traditionalists are, then you can just keep on going, and you get better at pushing through with experience, but by now the everyday populace is not used to it, and they go to a hospital instead. The hospital takes the time to set a broken bone and then you sip diluted regen as it knits nicely back together. The whole procedure doesn’t take more than thirty-fourty minutes, but it puts far less stress on the body and consequentially your mental health.

Regarding healing vs regen: healing is an instant health increase, while regen is already over time, making healing more dangerous inherently but often more useful to traditionalists, while hospitals keep regen around with healing only in A&E for dire circumstances (undiluted potions are also kept around but again for severe circumstances).

I’ve seen takes of “you have to set the bone right or else it’ll heal wrong” and such around, and I don’t even dislike them as I think they’re cool, but I also like to go with “it’s magic and if your bone ain’t in the right position at the start it will be by the end” which is… a bit horrifying, actually, especially when you then apply that same logic to stuff like shrapnel wounds etc.

Potions are not generally kept or brewed in the home anymore, mainly due to the fact that the ingredients are expensive (proper trade with the piglins has long since been established and made into an actual supply business etc.) and the knowledge is what combination of things you need has just kinda faded out of common knowledge. IRL example: most everyone used to make their own butter and soap and now we buy them at supermarkets, that kinda thing.

All that being said, modern traditionalists are aware of all these facts and if they can they try to use diluted potions/take their time/etc, though that situationally isn’t always possible. So Scar’s worry is pretty much related to Grian’s pain tolerance and the way that pushing on through displays a somewhat janky relationship with how much Grian takes care of his body and thinks of himself. Yeah, this turned into angst, lol.

Side note: potions are kinda terrible for sickness. Sometimes they can help treat the symptoms – example: terrible cough is stressing the lungs and causing chest pain, potion can help heal the lung cells that are being abraded – but actually fighting off a virus? Nah, mate. So to Grian, sickness is very, VERY bad, and he doesn’t really have access to modern health knowledge or medicine. Like, hygiene is a thing he knows just fine. Clean water, clean food, etc. But being sick in certain ways without modern medicine can be a death sentence, especially if you’re going through it alone.

So it’s less “Scar gets a bad cold and Grian shoves regen at him and walks away” and more “Scar gets a bad cold and Grian acts like the world is ending and Scar’s half in the grave already”. Scar is actually very concerned, and Grian may or may not have some unresolved sickness trauma. I mean, one thousand years is a long time to go without getting very badly sick at some point. Alone. And cursed to wait undying. Just sayin’.

Just a real good balance of hurt/comfort and angst/humour once Grian becomes more familiar with modern medicine. Guy’s gonna stock up like a prepper once he learns where the local chemist is and what currency they accept (not diamonds, emeralds, but they do accept gold due to the fact that they can then use it for trade with their piglin business partners).

---

Other worldbuilding things unrelated to potions:

- Grian’s experience with music is the discs that drop from when skeletons shoot each other or the ones in dungeon chests. When you’ve only got less than twenty tracks to choose from, being asked which one is your favourite is easy. (It’s Far, although he has a significant soft spot for Otherside. Yes, he likes Chirp, no it’s not his favourite just ‘cause he’s an avian.) Scar doesn’t really quite know how to react to this reveal, and Grian is distrustful of songs that have singing in them, so Scar just puts on his “absolute most favourite track, Gri!” and it’s. Howling by Lupus Nocte. (Scar’s super fast build mode music).

- The piglins of the Nether know about Grian the Cursed because 1. piglins have long memories, and 2. they’ve been his only consistent source of social interaction for about a thousand years. Grian speaks piglin like a native, even if he does have some more archaic turns of phrase and vocab that he’s never bothered to update

- Related, Nether portals are modernised into being built as part of transport hubs (on both sides) so even if it’s not illegal to place a bunch of obsidian down and light it, it’s just way less convenient (and also runs the risk of spawning in a bad place, i.e. over lava or in some poor piglin’s home. If a piglin takes umbrage with you ‘cause you trashed their home then that’s on you, mate).

- Tricks like MLG water bucket clutching and boosting via punching, any and all speedrun tricks etc. tend to be the realm of traditionalists in everyday use. But there are sports (similar to MCC and any other minigame that the Minecraft community has ever come up with) and tournaments etc. Scar used to be quite the swimmer, you know! Grian finds this hilarious as his Scar likely couldn’t swim or swim very well due to, you know, living in a desert.

- I think it’s understood at this point, but this is a permadeath world, with respawning just not really being a thing. Totems of Undying do exist, but getting them off one of the Evokers in the woodland mansions is pretty, er… well. There’s currently a “you leave us alone, we’ll leave you alone” understanding ongoing, and it’s a bit tense all ‘round, but even Pillagers can’t afford to be at war all the time.

- Grian does have a small farm – it’s mostly crops, and he keeps some chickens and rabbits. He just… can’t, with larger animals. They don’t spawn in the cursed lands, and wander in from outside, but he’s spent the last thousand years living in the exact same area and yet not really settling down, so why bother? Also larger animals are more work. It’s totally not related to Pizza, he swears. (And that’s even true: it’s just one factor of a few. But he does miss her. And Scar. So much.)

- You know that feeling when you’ve got something planned in the afternoon and so the whole day is just this waiting game and you can’t do anything? You feel restless, anticipatory, you tell yourself you can do something to fill them time but nothing’s ever quite right ‘cause you’re still waiting? That’s been Grian’s reality for the last thousand years, in addition to everything else weighing on his mind. Not Fun.

- Okay but Grian is actually really BAMF due to having lived A Long Time and being very experienced and having knowledge that has fallen out of commonality. So even though he is a fish out of water in the modern world, he is very good at not making a scene about it. He just goes very quiet when something freaks him out – and it takes Scar a while to realise that, but he does eventually.

[lisutarid-a]

[Gakuen K] Yatogami Kuroh Route Translation

Self-training

LIST OF CHAPTERS

[Translation under the cut]

Neko: Ya-ay! Wagahai out of two!

Saya: I lost again…

Shiro: Haha. You're not very good at playing cards.

Saya: Uhm, maybe you're right. I wasn't aware of it until now…

Saya: It's so frustrating. Do you have any tips for playing cards?

Shiro: It depends on the content, but of course, each has its own tips.

Shiro: For example, in the case of Old maid. You have a "habit" of not changing your expression.

Shiro: I think it's because you don't want others to realize the cards in your hand, so you're concentrating too much on facial expression and very careless with your hand.

Saya: Hand?

Shiro: When your opponent focuses his attention on the Joker, your pinky moves slightly. Once they notice that, anyone can beat you.

Saya: Anyone…

Shiro: Neko-chan knew that too?

Neko: Nah, I didn't. Wagahai intuited.

Shiro: I guess Neko is sensitive to people's emotions. I wonder is she somehow know which one you don't want to take.

Saya: Ahaha…I don't think I'll ever beat you two.

Saya: …Oh no, it's this late already. I'm going home. What about you, Neko-chan?

Neko: Wagahai still playing cards!

Shiro: That's what she said. Be careful on your way home.

Saya: Uhm, see you tomorrow!

Saya: (Club activities are fun, but I have to think about my ability, too…)

Saya: (It's a special school, maybe there are books about abilities in the library)

Saya: Huh, that one over there...

Kuroh: …

Saya: (Kuro-kun…)

Saya: (Kuro-kun didn't come to club activities because he wanted to prartice in sword swinging?)

Kuroh: …

Saya: (He looks so serious…He seems to be very focused)

Saya: (It would be bad to interrupt him. I gotta go…)

Saya: …!

Saya: O-ouch…

Kuro: Who is it?

Kuroh: You. You're still in the school?

Saya: I'm just on my way home right now. But I fell down…

Kuroh: You fell over on such a flat surface…? All right, give me a hand. Can you stand up?

Saya: Uhm. Thanks, I'm sorry.

Saya: You didn't participate in club activities today because you wanted to do some sword swinging?

Kuroh: That's right. When I go to club activities every day, I can't do self-training at all.

Kuroh: Fortunately, participation in club activities is not mandatory. Sometimes I train like this.

Saya: Training…Is Kuro-kun's ability related to the sword?

Kuroh: No, this is a physical and mental training, it's not directly related to ability.

Saya: I see…It's not related to your ability…

Kuroh: Are you worrying about your ability again?

Saya: Uhm…Kuro-kun told me there's no need to rush, so I thought I'd take my time and think about it.

Saya: I don't know when and what will happen. I'm still scared.

Kuroh: …You are more confused and worried about your ability than I thought.

Kuroh: What do you think of Shiro?

Saya: Hmmm. I think he's a kind guy, but there are still many things about him I don't understand.

Kuroh: Yeah, he's a lazy, sloppy guy who you often can't tell what he's thinking about, but…

Saya: (T-that's not what I said…)

Kuroh: He has a good eye for people.

Kuroh: Perhaps he invited you to join the Silver club because he thought you could take that power in the right direction.

Kuroh: … I don't know if that's grounds for saying "Don't worry".

Kuroh: … I and Shiro both believe that you can master that power. So you, too, must believe in yourself.

Kuroh: Winter will eventually turn to spring, and night will eventually turn to morning. Flowers will one day sprout and bloom. Everything needs the passage of time.

Kuroh: There is no need to rush. Spend each day in good health and a desirable future will surely come to you.

Saya: Kuro-kun…

Kuroh: Oh, that's bad. Is it that late already? The supermarket's time sale is about to start.

Saya: Eh…Kuro-kun, are you going to the supermarket?

Kuroh: Uhm. Cause I'm cooking for myself. Well then, if you'll excuse me.

Saya: Ah, wait. I'm coming with you! I want to buy supper.

Kuroh: Well, then, let's hurry up. Today is a special sale day for root vegetables! Ready meals and such should be cheaper too!

Saya: Ah, Kuro-kun! Wait for me!

[Prev chapter][Next chapter]

[setagaya-division]

A sound of something being dragged is heard until it stops in front of his residence’s entrance and then, his doorbell suddenly rings.

“Sir, we’ve got something delivered to you!” 

Once he recalls that the owner of that voice is none other than the delivery man who usually works in his neighborhood, the glasses boy can’t help but cautiously approach the doors for a quick check through the peephole. He must be certain first that what’s on the other side of the doors isn’t something that would bring harm to him and his family. 

Not finding anything suspicious but a sight of some kind of vehicle(?) in front of his residence, Elliot makes up his mind to go check it by himself.

Looking closely at the vehicle, he finds out that it’s a brand-new bicycle with a fairly spaceful basket below. Checking up its basket which seems to be large enough to fit the medium-sized dog in, there his blue eyes meet other two gifts wrapped in cloth and one envelope sticking out.

“To Elliot Shimizu of ENIGMA

Firstly, Happy Birthday to you and greetings to the Setagaya Division.

This letter was written from a certain division a bit far away from Tokyo —Somewhere where you may take interest in since there are a herd of wild deer allowed to roam around in the town. This time we’ve got some presents for you.

The box with a fragile symbol is from me; It's a double-walled mug. With its gap between two layers, it can prevent heat from burning your fingers and prevent condensation at its outer surface from making your mug wet. It has a cute design too, so that’s a plus!

The next gift is from my friend, Asahi. This time around he chose to make the nerikiri called ‘Ajisai (Hydrengea)’ for you! It is named after Japan’s signature flower that blooms in the rainy season (and also the same flower that flourishes around our old man’s place). Oh, don’t worry about the ingredients. This wagashi is made from rice flour, shiro-an (white bean paste), agar, sugar and some food colorings, so that even vegan can enjoy them!

And how don’t we talk about the last present. It’s an E-bike with the basket beneath the saddle. The bike’s size isn’t too unwieldy so I think it’s good for maintenance and many more activities; like taking your pets for a short journey, or maybe it can even attend your errand at the supermarket. Honestly, I think our old man definitely have some soft spot for hard-workers.

P.S. I also heard from my classmate’s dad the vet around here that there is a very young man started assisted the veterinary work in Tokyo, perhaps that’s you by any chance?

Hope y’all blessed in health and have a nice year

Yuuya Kanata, Nara Division”

———Somewhere in the town where the deer roam free

“Saigo-san, do you happen to see Ojou-chan anywhere? I think I’ve lost sight of her just now.”

“How would I know about that? I’m not your fucking cat.”

“…Lately I’ve often found her snuggling around my computer when I’m not looking. Maybe she just prefers a warm place.”

“You two really get along huh? First time we met, you looked like a total mess bringing that furball into my house.”

“That time I only got some scratches…”

“‘Some scratches’ you say. That time your entire arms were all covered in plasters.” 

“That’s her instinct to defend herself.”

“And she did attack me once I just wanted to inspect something!”

“That was because you made her feel unsafe!”

“Meooww!”

The fact is ...for some reason (but do cats really have any reason?), the kitten they adopted seems to attack anyone who tries to touch her except her favorite human.

As Elliot finished reading the letter, he looked up at the e-bike. To say he was a little intimidated by the machine would be an understatement. To be honest, he had always detested motorized vehicles after finding out that some of them caused stress and anxiety to dogs due to unnecessary noise they make. It also didn't help that Elliot didn't know the first thing about riding a bike, let alone a motorized one. He much preferred to walk, as it was good for the environment and a person's well-being. Plus, didn't you need a license to ride a motorized vehicle, anyway? Elliot never saw reason to get one, especially since he was so young. ...But just leaving the bike there after it had been given to him would be rude and hurtful to the person who gave it to him.

"Maybe... I can have Mina-san or Yorii-san teach me how to ride it..." He thought, before heading back into his house to observe the other two gifts he had received. He was particularly interested in the mug. To say he loved the design on it would be an understatement. He smiled as he made sure to use that cup the next he got. Picking up one of sweet treats from his final gift, Elliot took the leap and bit into one. His eyes grew round as his mouth absorbed the flavors of the white bean paste.

Looking at the other three uneaten ones, he debated between leaving some for his siblings. He knew Yorii loved anything that was sweet. He wasn't sure about Mina-san, but he knew Yorii would just eat hers if she didn't. Nodding, he took one more treat from the plate and left the rest sitting on the kitchen table. He smiled as he headed back to his study room, very happy at how this day was going.

[spectralsleuth]

HELLO - love LSoW! I'm curious as to if the boys being dumb rich celebrity kids will play into their schooling experience?

Mikey offering to buy his friends' snacks at lunch period like that meme where the lady says "it's one banana, how much could it cost? 10 dollars?"

I think Mikey would be more likely to be the kid who brings in food for everybody than buy lunches- which is its own kind of privilege itself!

It probably starts out with him bringing Japanese lunches to school(nothing fancy bc Yoshi can't cook anything fancy) and some kids maybe trying to tease him? The way that kids do about other kids lunches. But instead of letting it bother him he decided to start bringing in enough for everybody, and it stops the teasing real quick.

Yoshi, helping Mikey make enough onigiri for his class: And you didn't just fight them why? You know I'm fine with you boys fighting in school-

Mikey: This is better. :)

Mikey's that kid at school that has a lot of friends very effortlessly, and being mean to him just makes you feel like an asshole. Otherwise they have a pretty weird school experience; Leo filming movies, Donnie and his... projects. A lot of stuff I'll cover, but normal celebrity troubles. I think people underestimate how normal celebrity students become among a student body. When you see someone in class every day, often multiple years in a row, it becomes really easy to see them as normal and every day.

On the subject of money;

Yoshi is very very wealthy, and only getting wealthier since he is also working full time at the dojos on top of filming new movies. But outside of certain accommodations for the boys (soaking pool, full sized townhouse, LAWYER FEES, expensive lamps, etc) I think he probably lives relatively simple. He's probably lost a lot of his taste for fame and fortune, after the Nexus. he's the kind of rich person who would pay for your hospital bills without a thought, but he simply wouldn't think to do it, or see it where it's needed. Social warrior he is not. He is just a rich old(ish) man with little turtle kids.

Xander is his personal assistant on top of nanny, so the boys all pick up being cheap and thrifty from him. Even when Xander has the credit card, if he goes shopping for the Hamatos he brings coupons, supermarket flyers, etc. They'll go to three separate stores to get the best deals. I think Leo would love this the best; he gets very good at math as a kid, sitting in the grocery cart with a calculator and seeing how much they save while Xander piles in groceries around him.

AGAIN sorry this took so long to answer I got shy!! :') I hope this isn't too long either. But these asks are so good and are making me think.

[duchessanon]

SPARE - my review

What a ride it has been reading this book for 2 weeks. I added this to my goodreads and couldn’t rate it bc it’s so good but it’s also so bad!

Key themes!

- Key theme 1! Willy is truly Henris arch nemesis. He loves him and wants his approval constantly, but is also FREQUENTLY mad or disappointed with him. Honestly it would make a great novel or movie in itself to explore that relationship. Bc one minute he’s saying they aren’t that close and the next he’s directing the intro of the book to him. And guess what? I think willy should read it! I wonder if Henri has EVER said “willy u make me feel belittled”. I’m sure recollections would vary but I also have no doubt willy can be a dick!

- Key theme 2! Hero complex. Henri LOVES painting himself as the hero. Sticking up for a pauper in the supermarket who was being attacked by a Karen, rescuing Tom Van S after his mugging, comparing his war with the press with serving his country, recalling small children thanking him for invictus, and the interview where he wants to save the rf from themselves. It’s nauseating and unnecessary a lot of the time. The heart of gold narrative is really shoved down our throats.

Key theme 3! THE BRITISH PRESS. I mean what is there to say? His therapist said he’s addicted to raging against them and she’s right. This man will never be able to rest bc the press are going nowhere. Plus his rel with the press will always be different to the actual heirs and he doesn’t wanna see that.

- Key theme 4! Ghost Di. Well she was a leopard, an elephant, a lion, a cow. He could make most animals about her. He could relate most things to her even when his penis was oscillating. Rly was the least surprising part of the book was his fixation on Di. But it’s just there constantly. Which I guess gives us an insight into his head and dare I say a literary device?!

- Key theme 5! I’m not like the other girls. Even from pre Meg, Henri sets himself up as being different to the rest of the fam. And different often = more of a top, down to earth lads lad! Eg the story of wanting to water a tree not just plant it. A lot of his dickish behaviour is blamed on being a product of of his fam, but none on having an asshole personality. That’s ramped up post meg when he becomes enlightened to the real world. I can 100% see why the fam would be done with his shit

Random shit

- Thicko - he calls himself Prince Thicko a lot at the start of the book. I rly don’t remember any1 particularly calling him that name in the press but I find it hilarious

- If u wanna read it, skip the whole army and invictus parts. So boring and so detailed.

- k8 - if we were getting k8 tea I hoped for a FULL reveal of Bitch K8™️. Instead we got a lot of her and her facial expressions (there were several examples at least where he assumed something about k8s opinion bc of her face, or something she DIDNT do or say - eg her face at the lipgloss she didn’t respond when he made a comment about Lizs crown being trapped in the tower, she didn’t invite him around to dinner, she clutched the leather seat!). Tbh if anything IMO he kinda stans k8 & she comes off the best (og Wales fam) royal

- Henri is a very sensitive chap and sees everything as a slight towards him (facial expressions, cam making his room a closet, the list goes on). Obvi this comes from being the SPARE but it’s also like Henri bb, it’s not all about u. And maybe just maybe ur fam were bored of ur voice sometimes

- All the windsor women and wives (apart from Soph bc she’s not in it) are pretty iconic in this book if u ask me. And yes I’m including meg! We have Ghost Di popping up at every opportunity. Margaret gifting Henri a biro. Liz not giving a fuck about the drama and letting her men take the brunt of all Henris rage. Anne just breathing. Bitch k8 forcing Henri into a nazi costume and having facial expressions. Cam trying to spell Katherine with a K and selling her new sons to the devil press. Eugbea being a kindly blood princess. Fergie doing curtesy lessons! Queen mother Liz being the og royal bitch. And last but not least meg falling on the floor crying, being corny as fuck and simultaneously being a philanthropic queen and bullying manipulating witch (what is the truth?! We’ll never know!).

In conclusion I have sympathy for Henri bc this life has fucked him up and his fam don’t give a fuck about his opinions. He’s screaming to be heard and tbh it’s sad at times espec his relationship with willy (I can never call willy willy in the same way again!). But it’s also a totally navel gazing, self indulgent & lacking in accountability. The fact that he thinks his drug taking is revealing his bad ways isnt gonna fly. I wanna hear about his actual shitty actions and words and temper and entitlement. A must read for royal drama fans, I’ll be waiting for this part 2 when the rf inevitably keep treating him like a SPARE part.

[what-if-nct]

I know I’m few days late, but I love TS4 so fucking much.

I made myself and Jonghyun into this game as a joke and I’m here seeing our lives bloom like a beautiful flower. We had gotten married and had a house together. Recently, I had given birth to our baby boy named Bobby. I’m not sure if I’ve already sent you pictures since Tumblr on PC likes to act like it’s not loading properly when it had already been sent. He is the most precious baby I’ve ever seen. He’s a mixed with me and Jonghyun, but he mostly has his face! I saw him grow up from a baby just born, to a boy about to go to school soon. I celebrated his birthday yesterday.

Also Jonghyun’s dog, Roo, is my step daughter and she wants to be a K-Pop idol. For those who aren’t catching up, there’s a mod I downloaded where the Sims can audition in order to be a K-Pop idol.

Now thinking about it, should I make Bobby train to be a K-Pop idol, or not? I’m kinda curious to hear your views. Also, you have a beautiful family too! I wonder if our kids would get along with each other so he could have someone his own age to hang out with. His half sister isn’t always available since she’s at school and also goes to work. She often comes back tired, but she’s a hard worker. She puts a lot of effort in her schooling and tries to get good grades.

Jeez I’m already talking like a parent and I have no kids whatsoever. Is this game really preparing me for parenthood or what? This is hilarious. 🤣

Right now, I’m watching Bobby and Jonghyun chatting to each other. It’s the most cutest thing I’ve ever seen. They’re literally making mocking voices then laughing at each other. I don’t understand simlish, so I may leave it up to my imagination what are they saying exactly. Maybe they’re just talking about dumb Karens they saw at a supermarket or something. ☺️

Awwww your Sims have such a sweet life and it's cute how you speak of them. And how there's such a thought out life to them. And yeah totally have bobby audition to be an idol, they can do it together. I'm sure our children would be great friends. I feel like I play the Sims a little differently. Like I'm always just dressing them up or building the house and I always use the motherlode cheat first and get them to like 4 million dollars so they can do whatever they want and I lock the house in so no one can walk on the property. And i watch them live their lives for a little while till the kid is a teen, I age them up very fast then I stop after three days and play again like 6 months later. And start all over. So I find the way you play absolutely beautiful and how you've connected to your Sims and see the children as your real children. It's so sweet.