#maybe he missed my bed
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So, how did that talk with Husk go?
Angel: it… actually went really well! Although I keep telling him there is a big chance that it may not be his.
Husk: well the other men in the list doesn't look like promising potential parents 😐
Angel: well the guys at the studio aren't so bad…
Husk: yeah maybe you can pass the kid around for them to babysit (sarcastic)
Angel: 🫤
Husk: besides it doesn't matter- that's my kid– blood or not 😤
Angel: aww Husky 🥰😭
Husk: don't “Husky” me- you should have said something sooner 😤 (passionate)
#pregnant angel dust#huskerdust#he moved back in 🥲#maybe he missed my bed#hes also fat nuggets daddy too#he was worried about me 🥺🥹
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favorite book quotes :
“It feels like such a luxury, sleeping with Peeta again. I didn’t realize until now how starved I’ve been for human closeness. For the feel of him beside me in the darkness. I wish I hadn’t wasted the last couple of nights shutting him out. I sink down into sleep, enveloped in his warmth, and when I open my eyes again, daylight’s streaming through the windows.”
- catching fire (2009) by suzanne collins
#everlark#thg#hunger games#Katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#fbq#myphotoart#this is a quote in my 4 years in this fandom I’ve never seen appreciated and maybe it’s because of her talking of being starved for human#connection that makes most feel like it’s a little impersonal like she’s thinking it could be anyone in her bed with her#but if you recognize : the very next sentence is basically her amending that thought right away#like ‘I’ve missed having someone with me at night…. no actually I’ve missed having Peeta with me at night’#like she’s saying I’ve missed this no wait actually I’ve missed HIM#for the feel of him beside me in the darkness#not just somebody beside her but him!#also her stating that she feels Peeta all night beside her even when she’s sleeping is also sweet he really is her safe haven#i digress now#300
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these are A BIT OLD but uhhh here check out these aggio doodles i did forever ago. still VERY happy w my colors :3
#this was back in uhhhh jan 2023!! hot dog!! and its still perfeclty good to eat!#i think kian and chip would get along. they could talk about feelings. kian could give chip the therapy he needs. maybe kiss? who said that#jay and rand could also get along i think. smoke buddies. cigarette fans. i bet they could play dnd together. or build a contraption togeth#also WAUHG the way i colored in kira here is SO PERFECT.. SHES SO SPARKLY N PRETTY. ALSO THAT HOOORNN i remember bleeding for that#shading is HARD lighting is HARD drawing a crazy unicorn is HARD but SOOOO WORTH IT I SITLL LOVE HOW IT LOOKES.....#waht else is there. oh yes the prime defender doodles#i love mark so much.... i miss being crazy and strange abt mark winters... i need to draw him killing more people someday#anyway i gotta go to bed soon to keep my sleep schedul on track but I DONT WAANNA!!!! recently relistened to bitb. that might release spore#im also chippin away at that am i in heaven animatic between workin on commissions. I GOT RLY FAR!! i think that i could finish it within#like. 3 or 4 more inspo waves. it wont be unfinished forevcer..... its so close... just 4 more full scenes to rly fleshh out#so basically another 2 years. YEAH BABy. in the meantime i have a backlog of things i can poast. i got plenty o drawings and doodles to sha#alrigh thats all the ramblin im gonna do for now. sleep well everyone hope shool or work goes easy on u in the coming week
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Oh I should share more of just little tidbits of myself here more. Show off my collections or give insights on the things I enjoy. I dunno, sometimes I forget I can blab about stuff on here!
Anyway! Yall wanna see the chatterphone I got for Wally??? Because it is the most delightful thing ever and having one fills me with such joy and whimsy!
LOOK AT THEM! A couple of sillies!!!! He was so MENACING in the box haha. Oh I always wanted one, especially after seeing his lovely acting skills in the movie Skinamarink!
Wanna gather items that remind me of Wally to put all together on the shelf with him along with any other official WH merch I get over time! Rearranged my whole shelf so Wally could have the top all to himself.
#a shrine area if you will#I was gonna give him an area by my vinyl record player#maybe some other day#but my shelf is close to my computer and I like having him close#he was on my bed for a while! its getting crowded with stuffies on my bed tho. he needed his own space#special guy#oh right but the chatterphone!!!!!#thats what this post is supposed to be about-#i love chatterphone!!! I didnt have one as a kid. at least not that I recall#i missed out on them#NOT ANYMORE!!!!#Now I have a beloved silly of my own#I love when he looks up. like hes watching me curiously. so many thoughts behind those eyes and yet not a word to say#just rambling
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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dishes are forever
#I MISSED HAVING A TABLET!!!!#ht papyrus#a gentle touch when you're sad#a menacing touch when it would be funny#he can do it all#LITTLE PRO TIP LIFE HACK THOUGH: IF WASHING DISHES MAKES YOU WANT TO LIVE ON A DIFFERENT PLANET#MAYBE YOU HAVE TOO MANY DANG DISHES#BEING IN A SITUATION WHERE I HAVE 80% FEWER DISHES THAN BEFORE MEANS I DO DISHES MORE OFTEN BUT IT'S SO EASY#AND NOT SOUL SUCKING AT ALL#JUST MY EXPERIENCE!!!!!! THAT'S ALL#I'm sure when i am reunited with my other dishes i will languish in bed staring at this psyching myself up to the task#but i like keeping random jars from food i bought and dishes that i picked up in different places.#they physically remind me of everywhere I've been and sometimes i just look at them and remember where I've been#my favorite is the old ratatouille jar i bought at carrefour in Chengdu#that jarred ratatouille was the nastiest food to grace this earth#i bought it in case it would make a quick easy meal (you don't really find those at the grocery store in China at least not back then)#but even my cheap lazy self couldn't eat it#so no one ever consumed that ratatouille but the jar was pretty big so i put other stuff in it and now it's my dish#and somehow the label is glued on PERMANENTLY it has never washed off after all these years#actually idk maybe it eventually did it isn't here for me to look at but it lasted a long time i know that
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procrastination is starting to have its consequences finally
#on my friends living room floor they love together but one of them has been london for weeks or maybe months#to be with her love. im on a foam mattress from one of their beds next to a glass bottle of water opened by one of them#in a mug given to me by another. the weather felt like my childhood today and it also felt like 2 years ago.#(put space in the heavens Einstein's idea and hes your friend too so nothing to fear) around the table they drank and laughed and i thought#i hope you keep growing so full with the love you receive . i hope your appetite becomes insatiable from how used to it you are#and i know youre all leaving soon but i hope one day you miss this and that youll be happy you miss it#its worth missing i think#i thought he didnt care but he said after exams hes going walk around this area over and over#(this is near where he lived and where we visited almost daily for a year)#(hed come across the bridge on a lake)#we went where she used to live and at the entrance a fox sat calmly. it just yawned and stared.#it felt important somehow. i think maybe their impressions of me will never be close to how i feel inside but i think#i love them enough for that not to matter. i dont think theyll ever know this. i dont think if they did it would change much.#and seeing them smile makes my heart glow anyway. today i tried their malaysian tea the ginger burned my throat#they warmed my heart. hes going to canada soon and hes going to the US soon and shes going everywhere soon ill never understand#how were supposed to live with memories and with seperation and with the past but we do it anyway so i think it doesnt matter much#i wanted to write a poem for the lab rats with the fibre optic wires lit with blue forcing them to turn around and around#something about how im sorry that the two photon arrays burned the inside of your brain. im sorry about the sharp points of multielectrode#arrayes. im sorry about everything we do to you. she asked to see me tomorrow. im trying to have self control but i miss her so awfully#last night my friend talked to me and i updated on everything that happened with love and the lack of it and she just started laughing#and she told me about the same thing from her side. and she told me about how she loved london because she would walk the streets#and she felt like the people were her. and her eyes would go over the people and the bag of bagels and the construction men they probably#have a kid at home maybe shes a daughter. this kid is crying for her mother and the building you just walked past caused#blisters and pain and people died in it and very likely people were born in it. we talked for hours and i felt like#i was holding her hand just like that time she held mine watching a horror film. i love her so much#my friend is a genius and i remember her picking up the charms of my phone and staring at the leaf hanging from them. shes side stepping to#music drinking dangerous cider and cocktails from a movie and chit chatting with billionaires and undergrads#i love her dearly. his head covered in electrodes. she tells me about a syrian guy shes in love with and she says#what you feel and what i feel is like cocaine. ive tried a lot of fucking cocaine.#she says ive reminded her of what living actually feels like and to never put energy into someone who doesnt see me this way.
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Oh fuck tomorrow I'm going to be a little birthday boy I keep almost forgetting
#it's probably bc i dont have specific plans im just playing it by ear based on how the newborn will be#(the amount of time I'll be needed w the other kids basically depends on how much sleep the parents got the night before lol)#so i dont wanna be out too late... ahh i miss the club bro i wanna go#i love kids just to be clear which is why i do this but i also think I've gotten any child rearing out of my system#so i dont want my own. in a way it's freeing bc my future will just be for me and i won't have to worry about this stuff long term lol#ah but if I'm free on the 4th theres also something else i wanna do so maybe i shouldn't get drunk anyway#maybe just wait for the next free day 🤷♂️ we'll see#I've been highover BAD though shit lasted until like 8pm the next day. and i had to take the day off w the kids#luckily there happened to be other family there that took over but dude it sucked. i remember trying to help them in the morning like#ok sorry 4 year old trying to find pants i have to lay down in your bed you can do it by yourself i believe in you#so. taking the day off was a good call for their sakes too lol#he was fine just to be clear he could've done it on his own either way. i was just unhelpful 😅 i promise im usually way more attentive
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a little more disorganised exploring
#disorganised only bc some are from my older NG+ save file where I managed to NOT override gravity and died missing a zip line jump#and then ended up being told by Aloy that I need to finally do Erend's quest so Avad will talk to me#even tho I literally just saved Itamen and his mom so what the heck. he knows who we are gdi#anyway. the other ones are from my embrace-escape run where I'm outside early just collecting stuff#and doing as many quests as the game allows pre playing through the Proving#world's a little weird. campfires don't save your progression properly. but vantage points do#and you can fast travel to settlements. just.. no override and only one bandit camp as far as I've been able to tell#so it's my favourite game - hiking simulator 3040 my beloved. love this game. the vibes are stellar and the visuals are gorgeous#The Cut is lovely too but I got sidetracked going for all the metal flowers and vessels and vantage points instead#plus.. no tallnecks so far and even if they showed up I couldn't override them anyway#so cauldrons are prob out of the question too. not sure if I tried before tho#saddest thing so far: no Proving means no Yan means no Solai means no Nakoa quest and therefore no Nakoa :'(#but Daytower is locked until later anyway.. tho maybe I could get there from the other side? the other gate further north is open luckily#which means I've met Petra again and done her first quest. which does make me happy. I've missed her and her flirting :)#(grandma Teersa is so well done btw. LOOK AT HER)#anyway. off to bed now#lou plays#Horizon Zero Dawn#hzd remaster
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i want proof that you love me
even if i have to dig it out of your body
#shitpost#philosophy#memes#thoughts#writing#sadg#sadgirl#poetry#lyrics#original poem#depressive episode#wahoo#bed rot#i got approved for student loans and i got like 1000 ish in scholarships#but i didnt meet the g12 thing and that made me sad#so now im sad#and im probably going to get wine drunk about it#and i miss my dog#he got his balls snipped today my mom and sister are gona go get him#and i crave intimacy and sex and romance and life#but i feel dead inside#or misplaced#aching and longing#like a ghost#im somewhere im not supposed to be#and i hate my face#i dont think anyone i find physically attractive wi see the same for me#maybe i'll spend my scholarship on a nose job#or cheek filler#or face lift
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miss pauling WOULD NOT SMELL FINE.
#me disagreeing at everything about miss pauling that people paints her as something good sweet or cool#WHEN SHES NOT COOL OR AWESOME OR SMELLS GOOD AT ALL SHAKES YOU AROUND LIKE A BOTTLE#she smells LIKE HUMAN SWEAT and old clothes from a humid closet she barely cleans. like a grandma.#well grandmas do smell nice. BUT THATS NOT THE FACT#ok well she does smell fine and bearable maybe he hair smells like bed sheets no changed at all#because she wakes up so early she doesn’t have time to clean her room or make her bed#she just instantly runs not even eating breakfast and dying of hunger until either scout or soldier gives her a cookie#or a half eaten pork beans in soldiers courtesy#and gets home late EXHAUSTED and throws herself in the bed to later wake up in 5 minutes#me wanting to expose her every single damn time i am evil like that to my ult#oh yeah her hair doesn’t smell that good at all. full of lice. and greasy. girl wash YOUR HAIR that’s what demo always says to her#prob demo often times calls her out or secretly spy will come and said damn my mask doesn’t even smell that bad than that hair of yours#but is either of those two. wait what i was talking about#her teeth are so yellow because she forgets to clean them#crusty eyes too. can’t put makeup stupidass just only puts her fav purple lipstick to hide her crusty lips#takes a deep breath… fuck. woman failure
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Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
#i am not well#thinking of shooting my brains#i can't do this anymore#please#I miss him so much#why am i unlovable#i miss him#crying maybe#tv girl makes me think of him#i love him so much#why can't he love me?#how to fix myself no borax no glue#Maybe in another universe he can love me again#he hates me#i did nothing#i showed him all my love and he just dumps me like trash#maybe i am trash#Do i mean anything to this world?#I don't want to do this anymore#I hope he still thinks of me#I can't stop crying#I'm so awful#sorry#im sorry#so sorry#im so sorry#sorrysorrysorry#I want to go to bed#i want him to cuddle me again#30 tags
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Seeing people saying Fit is soooo jealous about Pac being excited to meet Wilbur is silly considering the fact that Fit offered Pac advice on what to do / how to act, offered to introduce them, and also said he'd write a "strongly worded message" to Wilbur if he didn't log on because Fit didn't want to disappoint Pac. I know we all love drama but at the end of the day: Fit's happy seeing Pac happy.
#i talk#qsmp talk#People leaping to conclusions that I do not understand#again: I know we love drama but I don't see thst#I mean CAN it happen? maybe#But again: Fit strikes me as the kind of guy who'd be like ''well as long as he's happy...''#But hey a lot happened today maybe I missed something#[ doubtful ]#anyways goodnight. This is not my usual MLA cited post with clip links and quotes because I'm going to bed#I'll add relevant clip links later
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Going to sleep is so fkn hard I just want to call him and tell him I love him and ask for cuddles when will that stop
#waking up is worse i break down immediately#if i had a fucking friend i wouldnt need to keep going on and on about it in txt posts so im sorrrryyyyy if im annoying#but fuck it hurts so much#does he even miss me?#does he crave cuddles like me?#i just#ugh#we are different ive always hated sleepi g alone#like when i was really little up until i was maybe 15 i would go into my sisters room at night and sleep on the floor#in our old house i had a bed set up in her room#thats how often i went in there in the night#so im just#reaaalllllyyy struggling#he worked night shift up until last year and i was always waiting up for him till 4am#so now its like#really super hard#at least im waking up early enough to pass out at night#plus i do have some sleeping tablets if i need them#i just fucking want cudddlllesss#i want to trace his skin#i want to hold him#ffmmmllll#txt
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i had a sudden emotional bout realizing how mortal my beloveds are, he's my baby no matter how often he gets all nibbly
my little baby...
#hazmaticalblue#cats#maxrex the cat#my baby#maxrex tyrannasaurwellingtonimus#he sleeps in my bed almost every night and keeps me company. he loves this one specific box he's in.#my sweet little kitty#he bites if you pet him wrong but he'll calm down as long as you pet him the right way#he likes being picked up in a specific way and any other way makes him upset#i've picked him up the way he liked but he still yells so maybe i'm missing a small detail that my stepmom does for him#he purrs nice and loud#he doesnt understand how much i love him#i dont realize how much i value him until moments like these where he's just. there. by my side#he's my baby#he'll hide his face in your hand sometimes when you pet him
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