#maybe get some more exercise
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My human got me another hammock. She spent at least ten-to-twenty minutes trying to figure out the perfect spot and decided on this.
I’m not at all convinced, but I guess I’ll give it a few days…
#bearded dragon#reptiles#lizards#beardies#lizard link#cute animals#best bearded dragon in the whole world#the best beardie in the world#I try not to move stuff in his tank too much because of his bad eye#but I hope it works out here#just another place for him to chill#maybe get some more exercise#might need to move it though#once again the gauge on the wall isn’t correct#I have something else to measure the temp & humidity with more accuracy#I’ve just never gotten around to removing it
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tagged by @shrips for 9 books you'd like to read in the new year! ty for the tag-- i tag @halfagod @albatrossisland @eponine119 @tru-lyly
#some of these i've started (ie the last book is from the library and i've tried doing the exercises digitally)#i've wanted to try learning how to paint rather than just doing flats but it is sooo time consuming man#also a lot of these is literary / academic / jargony but i guarantee you i will read like#only one of them#i'm a little through elite capture and it's interesting but i'm like maaaan this is a little too much like coursework rn#so realistically i will read smoke / martyr / hopefully oil / maybe enayat or burn#kala and my mother laughs i am hoping to get to bc i forget who recced it to me here but i will try.#also for whoever tagged me before for other ask games but i never got to it im sorry ill get better at it next year again#truthfully i think it is bc i am irl more now lmao tag games used to be my no 1 priority#or im sick and am like im not typing shit rn#im sick rn#i really need to get off escitalopram man the Sicknesses are only getting sicker#also shrips if ur somehow still reading all this dont worry abt ur stuff being not literary its p good tbh i feel like#against a pretentious person's judgement#(NOT ME I THINK. BUT THERE R TITLES THT R CLASSICS THERE AND THE PRENTENTIOUS PPL R USUALLY OK W THOSE)
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Even the great Jack Kelly isn't immune to sickness every once in a while, no matter what he likes to say. This time around, though, he'd made the rookie mistake of fainting in front of David, and is suffering the consequences by being held captive in the Jacobs' apartment until they deem him better.
Actually, it might not be all that bad.
OR: Jack gets sick and recovers in the Jacobs' apartment, with no small amount of tomfoolery.
#SURPRISE#GUESS WHO'S BACK WITH ANOTHER JAVID FIC#this one feels insane to post#i've been working on this one for like two years at this point#it was more of a writing exercise than anything#so i'm still half shocked that it's not going to continue like#indefinitely#but it reached a point where i'd have to do some serious backflips to justify Jack still being there#and i thought maybe someone else would like to see it too!#back to my javid roots with this one#I love them so much <33333#every time i write david he gets slightly more bastardly#les too actually#im not sorry mwhahahah#but seriously i loves writing this one so much#it's like my child#i hope you enjoy it too!!#newsies#newsies 1992#92sies#david jacobs#jack kelly#javid#javid newsies#newsies fanfic#my stuff#my writing
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in light of that last ask, would you ever consider drawing Machete enjoying a little treat? Maybe licking cream off his snoot after devouring a sweet, or laughing at something unexpectedly silly, or being caught up in the beauty of something and showing some wonder...? Glimpse of happy Machete
(which, as an angst writer, is also a large part of how to make the bad stuff hit. Rip that happiness away, make a smile too ephemeral, etc. Joy as the most fragile of things, that can't be pursued and comes on its own terms...)
I love how you put it, "joy is the most fragile of things and comes on it's own terms".
I do, in fact, have a bunch of happy/content/uncharacteristically genuine Machete pieces underway. If I can keep up this surge of motivation I've been having during the past five weeks or so, you should see them soon.
#answered#bluedaddysgirl#mostly because I might finally be done pussyfooting around and I've been thinking of giving him the proper romance arc with Vasco#it's been hovering on the background for years and years as an unexplored but potentially fruitful part of his storyline#and it feels like it would be beneficial to his character growth if he had at least one person he had a genuinely loving#sincere and mutually fullfilling relationship with#you know#get a few more facets going on#he's evidently incapable of finding happiness on his own maybe an outside influence might do him good#he still gets the bad ending but there needs to be something really worthwhile before that or the whole thing is an exercise in futility#gonna give this lad some serotonin finally
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I'm not a psychologist or a politician or anything approaching an expert about literally anything except a few specific video games but I feel like so many people wouldn't be agonizing over the moral implications of one (1) vote if we as the less-than-uppest-of-upper-crust had the ability to meaningfully affect change in ways other than 'spend money/do not spend money, vote for the red or blue tie'
#spitblaze says things#im aware its significantly more complicated. but i think this is whats driving a not insignificant amount of posting#biden has been doing a godawful job with foreign policy. i am under no illusion that trump will do better#you can still just THREATEN to withhold your vote. i get why some might not want to but its an option.#every presidential election since 2008 has been the most important election in american history. im tired.#idk man. i havent been super engrossed in politics since high school but ive never seen this much agonizing over whether or not#pwople should vote like. at all#personally im of the opinion that you should. its a good thing to do. but you should also exercise your power to put pressure on politician#and threatening to not vote for them is a pretty good way to do that#i gotta stop posting abour serious shit. but maybe id do it less if shit sucked less. so here we are#free palestine. if federal level politics is driving you insane then pay more attention to local level stuff. join a mutual aid org#and donate esims and food money to gaza. do things besides agonizing about november
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My chronic pain is mild to intermediate but I'm still dreading the thought that it's just going to continue like that all my life
#And it's been getting worse lately and I've been having more problems#Some of it might get less with more exercise and weight loss and maybe a retainer for teeth grinding#But I also have a health thing that makes it very very difficult to lose weight and very easy to gain it#And exercise is difficult if you're in pain a lot#And it's just genuinely such a struggle#Chronic pain
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Do you think Anne is a pilates girlie? I think she'd love it but would hate group fitness classes like Soulcycle (and the hype around them)
I think Anne is a horse girlie who cannot physically make herself sit still for more than five minutes at a stretch
#she still does a lot of actual chores around the farm and I think that and riding is how she gets most of her exercise#she says in RTML that some of the other riders on the national team cross-trained with running but it wasn't for her#she did say she likes tennis so maybe she does/did some of that#not to be base but there's also sex#I'm pretty sure their favorite positions include several where she does most of the work#and that they still - look me in the eyes and know I am serious - STILL do it frequently enough for it to count as a regular workout#and frankly? if I had THAT in my bed? *points at Tim* I would too#it's also been reported that she eats pretty light especially when she's working and I think that more than anything keeps her so slender#I certainly hope she's just a natural light eater and isn't restricting/doing anything unhealthy#anyway I am going to go back to my fantasy of them spotting me in the crowd at the Olympics and taking me back to their hotel#to spit roast me#have a nice day
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OOC- I’m going to be trying to get back into rp but I got a letter in the mail from the SSA about my yearly review and my anxiety is back up so I might still be on here irregularly. But today is a fairly good day so I’ll be more active :)
#mod talks#took my mom’s dog to the vet today for her laser treatment and getting out of the house did me some good I think#I have a car now so hopefully I’ll be outside more#maybe when Bella is recovered more from her surgery I’ll take her out to the park occasionally#I’ll get some exercise and she won’t be ask scared to go on car drives because it won’t mean going to the vet every time#would also take Bandit but it’s hard walking two dogs who both like wrapping the leash around me lol#might do an every other day thing with them?#or maybe tuesdays for Bella and thursdays for Bandit while my mom and I go to the gym Monday Wednesday Friday#but that’s assuming I’m feeling good enough all week for that stuff#I wish I could make a schedule and not worry about my body going ‘nah’ and making my day suck randomly#anyways I’m rambling#just know I’m going to try to be active again but I can’t make any promises
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ooooooooooooih I feel like I'm being pulled sixty directions at once and it's mostly my own doing and it's impossible to prioritize and every time I have to make a decision I open this site or Instagram!!!!!!!!!!
#annoying medical stuff that should get dealt with but maybe isn't urgent? vs taxes vs working out vs#being so so sleepy vs violin vs god I haven't written in literal months :( vs knitting project with a deadline vs#fuck I haven't finished eating dinner and idk what I'll eat tomorrow vs trying to socialize vs oh yeah my job vs damn when did the bathroom#get so gross vs jacking off vs *deep breath*#actually. That might be everything. That doesn't seem like so much#oh I need to renew my phone plan. And finish reading the Iliad but that can wait I guess.#I have so little to stress about compared to many people I know but wow do I manage#I gotta get better organized about food and exercise specifically because those two things being messed up are what get me#and also naturally the way they interplay bc I have to eat before working out but not too close to it....#and then. There's just no planning for randomly feeling like shit bc my stomach hates me I guess#actually making this post has been really helpful. It's 9 pm. I'm going to go eat some more noodles and do some more pushups and then go to#bed without finishing cleaning the bathroom#I have a plan for tomorrow. Which involves NOT BEING ON SOCIAL MEDIA
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Lol I keep on doing this, saying I'd come back to tumblr to only disappear again 😂😭
#and i hate it bc i miss being on here#but also i don't have to force myself or feel guilty for it#bc if i'm fr being on social media is just so time consuming and also not what is good for my mental health often#and that includes tumblr#it's not even that it's a toxic place (at least not the content i'm consuming) but sometimes i just rather spend my time with people irl#meeting someone than on social media and like focus on my life#the last month or so was just really difficult for me and i haven't been feeling so bad mentally in forever#i mean it always is like that that time of the year but i feel like i was worse this year#whenever autumn comes around with the darkness and cold i seem to hit a low mentally#when i tell you how much better my mood is in summer spring how much better i feel everyday regardless of everything else#i get people like autumn but for me its literally the worst and winter too altough at some point it gets better#maybe i adapt and maybe because i spend more time outside around christmas when i go home that's usually a turning point#and ig also the lights of december make it a bit better#but mid october to november is awful#this year the weather was much worse beginning of october was much worse#i feel like i lowkey have this seasonal mood disorder idk#but i barely managed to go to classes and i had no motivation#usually i always make myself study and do the things i have to atleast altough i often terribly procrastinate#but now i was barely able to do this and i had things to do but i couldn't make myself i missed a deadline closely#luckily my professors are the best but i felt so horrible for it how i was unable to get it done#sunlight is just so good for my mood and ik how doctors say how you should avoid it because you can get skincancer#but like i'd rather than my mental health being this bad (not that i want either)#i already miss summer so much and being happier#but tbh i haven't felt this good as I do today in weeks and even this whole week was better#i exercised more than usual altough i tried to in the last weeks i couldn't as often as i normally do so maybe this actually helps a lot#and i studied yesterday today and i will tomorrow i finally feel motivation again#besides i also tried to break up with my bf so that was also tough but i couldn't lol#i tried talking to him and tell him in the nicest way but he didn't get what i was trying to do and i couldn't say more bc i felt horrible#but maybe that's for the better altough i had these thoughts for a while that he just isn't the one for me and that we're too different...#i do really like him as a person the way he treats me and i'm still into him but i just felt like it wouldn't work
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Now that I can send you asks again: You would look sexy as fuck with a cane
Probably. I'll probably get one in the future but Idk
#key word 'future'#ehh#Mother would probably brush the pain/weakness off and blame it on not exercising enough but. like.#I got WORSE when I did regular walks#for some reason#soo uhh#no more of that#Idk#Maybe one day if it gets really worse in front of her it'll warrant enough concern to see a doctor and maybe then I'll have a reason to get#a cane but Idk#lmao#shrugs#ok enough ramblnign i need#to sleep#ask.exe#basilthesnakingthing.exe
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As always, the colors don't show up in quite the right shades, and I made two ornaments which ended up not fitting on here, but overall I'm pretty happy with it! The navy and frosty blues is a favorite color scheme of mine (it's a staple color combo in my work outfits this time of year as well) and the bobble trees were fun to do! I really like how the pussy willows and sparkle sprays turned out, and the little silver leaves help break up the white a bit. The little bluebirds were a nice find too and they add just the right pop of color around the edges! I got a set of pompom makers as well (and unfortunately could not use some of the lovely poms I made due to just how chunky that white is 😭) so the Valentines wreath may just be pompoms, we'll see!



#i absolutely did not need a new hobby much less one that has me buying MORE craft supplies#BUT since a lot of it is crochet i'm ignoring that for now#i'm planning to get a heart-shaped wreath for Valentines and maybe some bottle-brush trees#if i could just get my effing brother out of my house i could put the bunkbeds back up (currently separated into 2 beds)#and turn the extra room into a craft/exercise room and hang the extra wreaths in the closet#but alas he's still there and keeping us from finishing internal improvement plans 😒#ANYWAY#yay for new crafts to stave off the existential dread and keep my hands busy while i watch my shows!
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went outside and exercised normally for the first time since The Incident and i felt fine outside of the expected Hasn't Exercised in several months feelings. against doctor's orders btw but i would rather be dead than forced to spend all my time at home not doing a single thing that could exert me in any way <3
#:)#like it's so funny that they mandated i cannot drive leave the country vigorously exercise or eat snack food maybe ever again for no reason#fully my medical notes read like i'm in the managed decline phase of a terrible chronic illness even though i'm literally chilling#i feel no worse than how i normally do a couple weeks after a rough covid infection like babygirl i have no debilitating symptoms.......#PLUS my kidneys are slowly unfucking themselves anyway like. do i really need this much independence taken away for my own protection......#longterm housebound for a short term Silly Incident??? please be serious for more than two seconds#cranky about this because it's been a month and there's still no diagnosis but they have the room to tell me what i can't do#my appointment a couple days ago was supposed to clear me to do certain things again but they denied it and i've been sulking for days#literally the only thing wrong with me is that my blood tests are saying bad things and some really annoying side effects of my meds#and i can guarantee that me resting and doing nothing is not the reason i'm not in pain or otherwise suffering in any measurable way#even when i was actively in a state of dying in hospital i wasn't in pain like get with it!!!#sometimes if i think about this too hard i end up feeling like a caged animal lmao
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We should normalize bringing these sort of "small talk ideas" cards to meetings with other people so that it's possible to avoid the awkwardness of not knowing what to talk about to kick things off or if it's considered normal to talk about this specific thing and AUGHGHFCG all this stuff.
#i don't know what these cards are actually called. but what i mean by this is that well. ok let me tell you the whole story#which is that in my attempts to become more normal and functional i started attending these 'social skills exercise' group meetings#and at our first meeting instead of subjecting us to the awkwardness of introducing ourselves one by one#the group moderator prepared these cards with questions that we would take and answer in turns#and then invite all the others to contribute a bit as well. and that part was also not as scary as i feared it would be#some of the questions were kind of not very good interesting questions but still it didn't matter that much#because i am once again being proven that as long as the conversation is about something specific#it's really not that much of a problem for me to contribute like how when i had these zoom meetings with people#that discussed my interships back in my two final semesters of uni of course at first i was super stressed. BUT once the meeting started#and it came to the actual talking? it was no problem at all suddenly like wow sometimes i actually can talk to people#but yeah the 'what do i talk about' is the problem. and another realization i had here is that i'n in fact naturally predisposed to rambling#because i rambled a lot during this meeting i feel like and i think i'm already starting to vibe with one girl from my group in particular#yet my biggest problem most of the time is not saying anything at all in most situations. because of. the masking#it's literally such a big thing to overcome i've been having such huge realizations about this. but yeah anyway#i already had the opportunity to mention sparks lol. bcs one question was to tell the others about a movie#that left a huge impact on you and well why would i lie about this and not talk about TSB and my tendency to become obsessed with old bands#another observation is that when you put 4 socially awkward people in one room the result will be that it will feel very akward#to no suprise of course. but also there is something relieving about not being THE ONLY awkward one in a group you know#but well yeah all in all. man the mysteries of human communication. maybe i'll get it all one day#goosepost
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To that anon about stretching, I'd suggest exercises against carpal tunnel (you can easily find exercises for that on google)
And if you're a tierer, couple that with whole body stretching and preferably exercise
This has taken an interesting turn into sports science
#high school PE theory help me out here#with stretching you want to do about 8-10 seconds per stretch then switch the leg/arm you were stretching#eg 10 seconds left bicep then 10 seconds right bicep#obviously you’ll want to focus more on hands arms and head for playing rhythm games but you should get up every now and again and do some#leg and back stretches#maybe do some basic warm up exercises as well but we never did too much on the exercises stuff all the technical stuff was for exam students#obviously playing rhythm games is anaerobic so it will tire you out after a short while#and you’ll get better over time but it’s good to rest every now and again#do some cool down stretches too#don’t listen to any of this i’m not qualified to talk about fitness#asks
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it's kind of frustrating that essentially all the advice on tumblr for functioning when your brain's not working properly assumes By Default that your brain's not working properly because of depression.
like. don't get me wrong, i'm glad there's advice for people with depression. and i'm totally capable of going, yeah ok this post isn't meant for me, moving on. but...when you have to do that with every advice post, when everyone around you is promising that everyone will feel better if they can put in the effort to do these things you know will make you feel worse, you start to wonder where the heck the posts that are meant for you are.
#this post brought to you by me considering making a different vent post and stopping for fear that everyone will jump down my throat with#that same 'baby steps! self-care! if you're tired just do a little bit every day and you'll get better at it! take your life into your#own hands!' that everyone here always says. i can't kyle. i have post-exertional malaise#curseposting#salty jungle cat noises#i don't know. maybe i'd be less annoyed about this if i hadn't had to deal with a year and a half of everyone around me telling me to#Just Exercise More And You'll Feel Better when i KNEW that would make it worse. and that one awful speech therapist who was convinced that#just wasn't trying and if i tried harder i wouldn't have brain fog. (he didn't SAY that but he made it very clear anyway.)#and having to On Purpose ignore all the academic advice i was getting because it was actually making it harder for me to succeed in school.#what am i some kind of alien. am i so different to everyone else that all advice ever does more harm than good. what#this is why i have issues with trusting authority#vent#*sigh* man i wish my collection of disorders were less obscure
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