#because i am once again being proven that as long as the conversation is about something specific

[seaofreverie]

We should normalize bringing these sort of "small talk ideas" cards to meetings with other people so that it's possible to avoid the awkwardness of not knowing what to talk about to kick things off or if it's considered normal to talk about this specific thing and AUGHGHFCG all this stuff.

[twinliches]

I wanna hear your top 5 bullshit philosophers! (Dropped out of my german philosophy graduate degree a few years back myself. Minima Moralia even was in the toilet book pile in my previous flat)

oh, with certain pleasure. please keep in mind that i don't think that these philosophers are bullshitting, neither am i making any judgement on their merit as philosophers - these are simply my most quoted philosophers, and when i invoke their name in casual conversation to deal psychic damage to my friends, i certainly am bullshitting. now you can also do the same to your friends and hit them with austrian philosopher ludwig wittgenstein because they burned the pizza! so here are, in no particular order:

5 quotable philoposphy texts to invoke in casual conversation

On Certainty, by Ludwig Wittgenstein (1984) - link to text

to be able to say "my god, Wittgenstein was right. there are no certainties" every time something new and excitingly terrifying happens on the news or when the bus doesn't come

Theodicy by Freiherr von Gottfried Leibniz (1710) - link to pdf

to be able to say "no Leibniz was right, this is the best of all possible worlds" to absolutely derail any conversation about god being real or when you are eating a really good cookie

Economy and Society, by Max Weber (1921) - link to pdf

to be able to say "weber was right, bureaucracy only serves itself" as a poignant critique about how institutions can prevent progress and also when complaining about the long line at the DMV

Technology of the Self, by Michel Foucault (1982) - link to text

to be able to say "fuck, focault was right, self-optimization is a disease" to discuss the ruse of modern "self-care" in the oppressive context of capitalism and to throw at that one friend who is a bit too much on that grind

The Logic of Scientific Discovery, by Karl Popper (1959), link to pdf

to be able to say "karl popper was right, proven wrong once again!" whenever new exiting science gets published, you admit defeat in a stupid argument that went on too long, or when you see a black swan (let me know!).

and last but not least, honourable mention:

On Jazz, by Theodor W Adorno (1980) - link to pdf

to be able to say "adorno was so wrong, this music goes hard" whenever jazz comes on to remind all your friends that adorno had some truly unhinged takes about jazz of all things. seriously why did he say all that

that's all. don't forget to have fun and be yourself and cite your sources!

[elderwisp]

◁ || ▷

Taryn: Wait!

Atlas: Did you tell him?

Taryn: What? No! 

Taryn: Hold up! Where are you going? 

Atlas: Away from here. You don’t need to hover. 

Taryn: You don’t have to do it, you know? I can see it on your face. You’re thinking about it. 

Atlas: You know nothing about how I’m feeling.

Taryn: I think you’re terrified of being perceived. That once people become aware of who you are, they won’t like it.

Atlas: Aren’t you observant. 

Taryn: Am I wrong? Because up until now, I’ve been picking up puzzle pieces but I can see the picture now.

Atlas: And what might that be?

Taryn: That the isolation is crippling.

Atlas: Have you ever thought that maybe I don’t want to let you in? It’s easier for people not to know and much more difficult to disappoint. 

Taryn: I don’t find you to be a disappointment.

Atlas: Wonderful! You’ve proven my point.

Taryn: Through the cracks, I mean. Beyond the performances you’ve put on, Atlas, I don’t think any less of you. I’m still here.

Atlas: That’s a terrible decision.

Taryn: I don’t understand why you’re insistent on pushing me away.

Atlas: Because you’d be a fool to stay. 

Taryn: If that’s the case, then you would have never kept me around this long.

Atlas: I only meant-

Taryn: Tell me, what are you afraid of?

Atlas: Of losing.

Taryn: Because to have is to lose.

Atlas: What did you say?

Taryn: Everything… Everyone is constantly changing, sometimes fleeting. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of being alone. Of not being seen. Having decisions constantly made for me.

Atlas: Taryn…

Taryn: Even at this very moment, the choice is in your hands, so what will you pick? 

Atlas: [ barely a whisper ] I can’t do it. Not again.

Taryn: Not again?

Atlas: I’m sorry, I should have never… I’m sorry.

Taryn: Please. Help me understand. 

Atlas: No. One last thing, you would have always been more than enough. 

-

She leaves, Kai and Dan have a conversation

Dan: Do you feel better?

Kai: What?

Dan: Like, was it worth it?

Kai: No, Dan! Of course not!

Dan:Jesus, this is fucked. You never talked to him, did you?

Kai: [ sighs ] What do you think?

Dan: Maybe an apology would fix it… No… He probably needs space…

Kai: Or we can do nothing.

Dan: Well we have to do something!

Kai: Dan, I don’t need you to fix this for me-

Dan: Then stop fucking things up!

Kai: [ remains silent ]

Dan: Shit. I’m sorry, Kai. 

Kai: Can we just… Not talk about this anymore.

Dan: Alright.

Kai: She looks upset, doesn’t she?

Dan: Yep. 

Kai: Taryn?

Taryn: Give me my keys.

Kai: Can we-

Taryn: Save it.

[writing-for-life]

The Sandman Overture and Exiles: Omnia Mutantur, Nihil Interit

Everything Changes, Nothing Is Truly Lost—Not Even Hope

There once was a little girl (well, not a human girl) known by the name Hope Beautiful Lost Nebula, egg-daughter of Clearly who died in childbirth, sperm-daughter of Troubling World who was murdered by reavers. She is one of the most meaningful characters of the whole Sandman, so why does fandom hardly talk about her, not even those who have read the comics?

Understanding Hope, her story and her connection to Dream, is more or less understanding the entirety of The Sandman, and that's why I want to write about Hope and hope.

This contains major spoilers for Overture, Exiles and the ending of the Sandman, so if you’d rather not, this is your exit sign…

Pictures often speak louder than words, so I would like to start with these [I will add Alt text gradually, it’s a lot]…

If you haven't read Overture, you would not know that the words Dream speaks in Hell when he wins the Oldest Game are a direct mirror of Hope's words, down to repeating "I am...". It is not a sudden epiphany about how to win—it is a memory.

How much Morpheus truly remembers about the universe before the reset in Overture—it is something we cannot know for certain, and we have discussed it on here many, many times. I personally lean towards his remembering a lot more than we might think, and I've written about it in other metas before, e.g. here (super long with many tangents) or here. The narration is unreliable on this, because Desire in cat-form says in Overture that “there won’t be anything to remember”, but also that Dream will be “the only one to remember”. But whether he remembers every detail, or whether it is exactly the way Glory states in the above panel and it’s just that Hope's name is there for him when he needs it most, is secondary. What matters is that he does remember (side-note: It also matters because Dream promised her himself. And he never goes back on a promise, for better, for worse).

The above conversation with Glory is often taken as proof that there is no hope in the new universe, and by extension, the whole of the Sandman turns into a story with a hopeless ending. But in my opinion, that isn’t true. Yes, as a mortal being, Hope does not exist in the universe we are now in. But two very specific panels in Overture are directly contradicted by what happens in the later arcs of The Sandman:

The Star says here, after Hope's above statement that she is not nothing, that she is Hope, "As if saying that might ever change something." [And the Star’s tone is equally mocking than that of Lucifer Morningstar when they say, “What are you then, Dream Lord?”, but that just as an aside.]

And since Hope is killed in the very next panel (because Time pulled Dream out of that situation, so he wasn't able to protect her anymore. Who needs parents, right?), we might be inclined to believe this.

But by now, we all know that the Star is WRONG. These are not "three words that mean nothing." Once again:

And also this (I couldn’t find a gif with the bit where she says, “I will never give up hope,” but we all know she does say these words):

What else makes Dream/s prevail in Hell, what else are the dreams Morpheus speaks about here than hopes?

The Star is directly proven wrong. And so are we if we assume that Hope’s spirit doesn’t exist anymore. Because hope as a concept, hope as the thing that Morpheus remembers when he fights Lucifer/Choronzon in Hell, still exists. Even though this was said in the old universe before the reset, it DOES mean something. It DOES change something. Because Morpheus remembers.

Remembering Hope means to have hope.

And if we believe there isn’t any H/hope, we are also directly proven wrong by Time, who tells us that there will always be a universe in which Hope (the being) exists, and that there will always be one in which she doesn’t. And they, in a way, exist simultaneously. So even in a universe without Hope, her spirit, her memory, prevails. That is not a universe entirely without hope.

And that is also our tie-in to Exiles, because Morpheus and Daniel also exist simultaneously. Omnia mutantur, nihil interit—everything changes, nothing is truly lost.

Morpheus has moved on, but he still exists—in story, in memory of those who cared about him, in Daniel!Dream, in the “Soft Places” at the fray where reality and dreams meet. And it is exactly what H/hope is in the Sandman universe—it keeps on existing: In stories, in memories, in the “soft places”. Because to hope means to love, and to love means to hope.

Sometimes, you need to find hope…

Sometimes, she needs a bit of coaxing. Sometimes, hope means not to forget, so you keep going and remember what truly matters…

Sometimes, we lose her, and even Hope loses memory of who she was, but we can be reminded…

Hope might transform, but she never truly disappears in The Sandman.

On that note: I totally understand the attachment to Morpheus as a character. He is my favourite character, too. I cried buckets when I first knew what was going to happen (decades ago I dare say, and not at the end of The Kindly Ones, but during World’s End). And I think it is totally legitimate to want him to survive. Part of me does, too. It is a bit baffling to assume that people who read the story with acceptance and find meaning in it don’t care enough about Morpheus as a character to want him to survive, and that they are even a bit stupid for thinking The Sandman’s underlying message is one of hope. I don’t know many people who aren’t heartbroken in one way or another. But the story had to end the way it ended because it is not just about Morpheus and humanising him.

I often feel that by clinging to his character and person alone, we are losing sight of the deeper meaning, and we are closing our eyes to all the messages that are there, in plain sight, if we just let them speak to us:

The Sandman is not simply a story about Morpheus. He is the protagonist (even that could be argued), but he is also a vessel for the meaning and power of change, for letting go instead of clinging to what doesn’t serve us (and isn’t it ironic that by desperately wanting him to live and getting upset about the fact he doesn’t, we are doing exactly that instead of leaning into catharsis that actually has the potential to bring on change in us?).

Dream does not die because Dream cannot die. He changes. What dies is a point of view (symbolised by Morpheus). That’s it. That is the message. Omnia mutantur, nihil interit.

Hope is not gone. Not in this universe or in any other. Her spirit prevails. Because when she calls you out, when she touches you, you remember what matters:

“I’m not,” he says after thinking for a hot second, and proceeds to do exactly that regardless.

She touches him, she holds his hand, and calls him out.

She touches him, she holds his hand, and he is honest with himself, for once.

Hope touched Dream, but did she touch Desire in the same way? I already wrote about it here, and I think in certain ways, she did:

Hope prevails…

Hope is what saved the universe in the first place.

Hope is what Morpheus remembers when it matters.

Hope is what Nada finds again in A Hope in Hell after she gave up hope in Tales in the Sand.

Hope is what drives Unity and ultimately lets Rose survive.

Hope springs eternal in people like Rosemary who are willing to help and overcome their own fears. And in the TV series, that hope gets rewarded, and that’s important (I am glad they made that change).

Hope is even what drives Morpheus, but to see that, we need to take our eyes off only focusing on his having hope for himself, his having hope for his point of view (that does not serve him or anyone else, and he knows). If that’s the hope we’re looking for, we won’t find it. No, that’s not entirely true either. Because again, Dream can’t die. But the true reason is:

Morpheus is bigger than that. The story is bigger than that.

He has hope for humanity and sentient beings that are under his purview—what else are dreams but hopes? And Morpheus as the “point of view” understands that said point of view needs to make space for a better, kinder, more human (for lack of better term—human=/=man but human=with humanity) Dream to exist. And said Dream comes into existence with Daniel, but he also still contains all that was Morpheus. See it as having learned from experience and moving on with a new point of view instead of letting our hurt define us and holding on to it indefinitely. It is something we recommend in real life all the time—why can’t we find it in this story? Because it is right there, again, in plain sight: Omnia mutantur, nihil interit.

I am not saying this is how you have to see it. But I am saying that engaging with the story on this level makes it easier to come to terms with an ending that is commonly interpreted as hopeless because we can't see the forest for the trees.

Hope is hope. And she saved the universe and us. Not just once, but many times over. The new universe isn’t the hopeless, sad universe. The old one was. The new one has hope because it keeps existing. With Hope’s spirit and a Dream who has changed…

[chalkrevelations]

There are things I say to my partner in the privacy of our living room when I’m blowing off steam that I would never in my life say to friends or other family members or bosses or work colleagues or fellow community members. I do this not because I’m two-faced but because I’m human. I get frustrated, but I’m also a grownup who realizes that my frustrations and fears in that moment are not the entirety of who I am. I have a right to express them, but I do not have the right to inflict them on the people who would be hurt by them. That’s why those conversations happen in private, in a safe space of trust, where my relationship allows me to show my partner parts of me that aren’t perfect and allows my partner to show me that I don’t have to be perfect in order to deserve to be cared about. I get support through my petty moments until I can be a better person.

This latest attack on Build is a horrifying violation of privacy and trust that leaves me feeling literally nauseated. I once again reiterate that I don’t trust third-hand amateur fan translation to be accurate and contextual, particularly given the provenance of the material, but Build himself is apparently distressed enough by at least some part of the material to make a public apology. So, that being out there, I will say: This was a private matter that should have stayed private, out of respect for everyone involved. Whatever was actually said is nobody’s business except Build’s and now, unfortunately, any named individuals who this was inflicted on and who may have been hurt by it. Which, rest assured, was the intention - to hurt not only Build with this, but also, particularly, Apo and Bible, both of whom Poi has shown her dislike of and ill-will toward in the past. I suspect some people also don’t know how abuse works, and it shows, given that what was purportedly said is a reflection of Poi’s own views back at her.

Whatever the context, I see that purity cancel culture still insists on freezing people in amber in their worst moments - without recognition of any capacity for change or growth - as long as it provides ammunition for a smug, gleeful Particicution. You’re stuck on some unkind things Build supposedly said more than a year ago? Let me tell you what I’ll remember for the rest of my life: The small, broken sound of Build’s voice just a few months ago as he tried to protect Bible and Bible’s career from a sociopath, in a telephone call that he felt he needed to secretly record as evidence of how he was being manipulated and abused.

Meanwhile, I see that swathes of KP fandom continue to be complicit in Poi’s campaign of public and dehumanizing abuse of him, which now includes not only borderline revenge porn, but separating him from his friends and isolating him. This is what abuse looks like. It’s happening in front of your eyes. Do you even care? Do you actually, legitimately care about abuse, or is it just a tool for you to use to win petty shipwars and make yourself feel righteous? Because here it is. Take a good look. This is a textbook play. And if you’re participating in reposting those screenshots of private conversations and mocking Build’s relationships and spreading vituperative language about him and acting like he deserves to have his life and career destroyed, you’re enabling an abuser. You are aiding and abetting her, as the very scenario she threatened him with - in order to maintain access to him, to keep him under control and compliant - continues to get spun out. YOU are a bully and a hypocrite and an abuser, helping to prove that the most dangerous time for an abuse victim is when they leave.

But I guess some victims do have to be perfect, huh?

.

(ETA: 7/18/23, 1520 - This post is being linked on Twitter by @cherryluminary with my permission. I'm not over there, but I increasingly feel like it's important to name what's happened, and continues to happen, to Build online as what it is - abuse. Similar to to my last post that breached containment, I'm going to ask people to remember that the behavior of Build's fans reflects on him - however fair that may or may not be - and should remain above reproach. I understand being angry - I'm angry, and at more people than I've discussed publicly, at this point. But if I find out you've been descending anywhere near the level of the ugly little sociopath in my inbox who openly admitted they want Build to kill himself, I'll block you.)

[eddiediazismyhusband]

What are your thoughts on the relationship Buck has with Pepa and Isabel? (There is pretty much nothing of it in canon but me personally I think at the very least they like him for how much he loves his Diaz boys. )

And how well do you think Buck speaks/understands Spanish?

hi bestie, once again i am so sorry for neglecting your ask— i feel like i posted multiple little ask games (especially my wip one that i have had absolutely no time to work on any of them for the aks i got) and then immediately got bombarded by real life stress (i was working on two theatrical productions, as well as finishing my last semester of college) as well as fandom stress (all of the bts content that hasn’t proven to be exciting to me in any capacity) and then began to get a barrage of hate anons in my inbox that sent me into a nervous spiral so i am only just now getting to sit down and go through my inbox!

anyway, that long winded explanation out of the way, onto your ask!

I actually love the idea of Pepa and Abuela adopting Buck as their sobrino/nieto respectively because of how close he is with eddie and chris. i really wish we could have gotten to see more of abuela this season (i know ryan said at the beginning of s7 that there was a plotline involving abuela but then it got cut when tim decided to scrap 7b) and possibly see her view on buck and eddie’s relationship after buck came out… i hope though that we get to see more of them in s8, however, especially with chris being in texas, i’d love to see abuela take on a more central role in chris’s story this season, perhaps providing context to eddie and shannon’s relationship that eddie leaves out every time he romanticizes it to chris. I think it would also provide some interesting room to play with abuela and chris talking about buck’s role in chris and eddie’s lives, and possibly getting christopher to see what’s in front of all of them, and then having chris come back to tell them that he loves the family they’ve built and doesn’t want to lose it (which could also provide some angst for buddie if this happens after their feelings realization, and they both refrain from starting a relationship because they think chris doesn’t want that) which could provide a sort of gateway for pepa to swoop in and smack them both on the back of their heads. I know that wasn’t quite what you asked, but i think they have a lot of rook to showcase buck’s relationship with abuela and pepa onscreen, and i hope that it’s shown that he is considered one of their one, further cementing his role in eddie and chris’s lives

as far as buck speaking spanish, i’m sure he has to know some peruvian spanish from working in peru before moving to LA, but there are differences between peruvian spanishand mexican spanish as well as the familial slang that would come with the diazes, so i think buck would pick up bits and pieces of things said by the diazes, and could maybe carry a conversation, but i wouldn’t say he is fluent. i do think eddie/chris/abuela/pepa all pick on him for getting mixed up, or for his accent, even though for a pennsylvania native living in LA, his spanish isn’t terrible.

thank you for the ask! i’m sorry again that it took me so long to get around to it, and sorry that my answer for the first point is probably not quite what you were looking for, but i had a lot of fun thinking about how they could play with buck’s relationship w both abuela and pepa next season (though, i won’t hold my breath for that)

[eewtp]

Not a PJO Show Review*

Now I was so excited for a truthful adaptation of the books and I am left just disappointed with every new episode that comes out. First of all, why was this fourth episode not even 30 minutes long? ?

Anyway, one of my main issues so far includes pacing of the story. It’s very much stuck in a “rushed but at the same time slow” moving kind of pace, which is insanely weird. In one episode they spend all their time in one place but the writing tries to cram so much detail into that episode that everything rushes by with dialogue instead of action. It’s so weird I can’t even describe it well, but the point is that there is entirely too much of the characters walking you across the street with dialogue only readers could actually follow/understand.

(For example; Zeus is pissed that the bolt is missing and wants it back by the summer solstice or else he’ll start a war. The solstice is in a few days. This is mentioned once/twice and nobody has shown even an ounce of urgency to find the bolt. It’s just expected of you to remember that fact while the show does nothing to remind you of it- the sun is always out and it’s not stormy to show just how mad Zeus is, the characters calmly walk and chat and never once mention the bolt again, etc.)

The exposition dumping does not help at all; a sentence or two to describe something important only for the talking to drag on with the expectation that you know what they’re talking about. Grover absolutely running through what CHB is all about, the entire point of the kids’ quest, Annabeth being the daughter of wisdom (so far there has not been one instance where this is proven, just mentioned offhandedly). There’s hardly any personality attached to any one character because all they do is rapidly explain things.

Now, exactly why are they going to the Underworld? To save Sally, yes; but what does that have to do with the bolt? At this point their mission is Sally, not the quest- the Hellhound chase scene was cut from the show, so now there is no indication at all that Hades might have had something to do with the missing bolt. Poseidon and Zeus are pointing fingers at each other (which was either not mention or I missed it because of how off handed this detail was), so why in the world would Hades play a part in this? Because these three hate each other? Again, only readers would be inclined to think like this because their hatred was never emphasized or expanded upon.

(Are they hoping to just ask and receive some kind of news about the bolt? They have no lead as to where the bolt may be, so going to Sally’s aid first and then figuring out details with the bolt is so questionable. Again, this is far from showing the urgency of the situation)

Also, Luke’s betrayal is going to be interesting. He’s the one who let the Hellhound in, which put the entirety of camp in danger for his own goals. Without this, he’s just some guy who doesn’t agree with the situation they’re currently in- he’s not dangerous or evil, so far he’s just there.

Friendships are just not there. They say Luke and Annabeth are like family but they’ve spoken once. They say Luke and Percy are tentative friends but all they did was have a tour around camp. They say Percy and Grover are best friends but their conversations mainly revolve around dumping exposition.

There’s more I have to say but I’ll just say I have hope the show will make up for this iffy start. It’s not too much, but it’s there-ish.

[themsource]

Life Update 7/13/2024

I'm alive.

There's a lot that's gone on and is going on but I'm here. There's of course a lot going on in my life and has been going on that has once again kept me away. I will not divulge or explain, because I don't wish to. It was a lot, still is a lot, and is extremely personal.

I'm not leaving the undertale fandom as a creative, however, I will be leaving the fandom as a social participant. There's too much corruption and bitterness, too much drama and judgement in the social side of the fandom that I choose not to tolerate anymore.

There are too many people that would rather lie about who they are and what they believe as well as abuse or cut off people that have done them no harm in order to be liked and to gain approval. Acting as if life is one long extended episode of black mirror where your social ranking matters more than empathy to a fellow human, where the echo chamber is god and what's logically right and wrong doesn't matter in the face of personal opinion and paranoia.

I'm too old, and too tired.

Fandom is supposed to be fun, not a nightmare of walking on broken glass and eggshells. I have my small handful of friends that have proven that they are genuine people that legitimately don't care about the nonsense that goes around and imaginary pitchforks that can make them more popular or gain them more friends if they were to follow abusive hate trends and ignorant accusation posts lacking concrete evidence. I feel safe with them and will keep to them, always.

I no longer have time to deal with the "misunderstandings" or "confusion" that happens so often in large groups playing telephone or with those that try to fit words to their own narrative and understanding without attempting to think outside their own preverbal box of preconceived notions and bias, and don't care to do so.

I will no longer attempt to clear up anything or try to be understood by those that honestly don't know me and don't wish to, and who clearly only seek a thrill in causing pain and taking their own projected hurts and frustrations out on someone.

There will be no conversations. Every single online stranger reading this now is free to think what they want about me, even the untruths if they're so inclined.

I'm done trying.

The internet is where the hateful and cruel strive behind an anonymous mask—one often disguised in kindness and supposed acceptance—and of which is the whole of their life and meaning. But it is not mine.

Them, and the internet at large, is not worth my time, health, or life.

When I joined this fandom after my mother's death a few years ago I signed up for an experience that could bring a smile to my face while I gave one in turn to others while I dealt with my grief. Not to be shoved into situations where uneducated youths and adults in their 30s-40 with the maturity of previously said youths go rampart with the need to harm others, either to get ahead or for their own benefit in manipulation to get something out of others.

I have steadily been pulling away more and more over the years because of this. Struggling with the overflow of depression and stress that it has caused me, in turn making me push away and withdraw from people who didn't deserve it in many instances because my own value and self-worth tanked due to the self-deprecating thoughts it caused me.

I am not a saint.

I've done my fair share of wrongs, some of which I will never personally feel I have accounted for properly. I stood silent out of fear of being attacked when I should have said something to help someone wrongly accused by supposed friends and mutuals, I hid in the shadows and didn't think to lend a hand to people I saw were clearly in need because I didn't feel worthy of doing so, and probably many other things that I am unfortunately not aware of because they were never brought to my attention.

Because most people online don't believe in actual conversation but rather in blocking and spreading misinformed assumptions, and in dreaded call out posts so as to earn brownie points for "exposing" (or the nicer form of saying it, but is still just as cruel because the posters know that it WILL lead to harassment regardless of evidence or truth no matter if spread in public or private, but wish to play ignorant anyways — "spreading awareness") of someone. Granted these wrongs were for the most part carried out in my early fandom days that doesn't excuse the fact that they happened.

I still did the exact same thing that was done to me. I unknowingly perpetuated a never ending cycle of hurt, both out of fear and ignorance and out of a naïve want to be loved and accepted.

But I refuse to let myself be a victim or to think of myself as one out of guilt for those wrongs and loneliness anymore, and I refuse to witness others be abused and forced to feel the same way I did over the most menial and redundant bullshit that goes around and is somehow supposed to define your character to the dumbed digital masses.

I'm done.

Plain and simple.

I will be permanently turning off asks and no longer responding to any form of DM unless it is from someone I have initiated a conversation with, have engaged with before, or shares a mutual friend with me that can assure me that they're a decent person, and that I feel comfortable with. I will still on occasion post about updates or share something for the few that may want to keep following, but my personal accounts will largely be silent.

Just because I'm silent won't mean that I'm gone though.

It just means I'm not willing to be poisoned any longer, and am content at looking in from afar, if even that.

There's a lot of good people in this space, I know that, and it saddens me the possibilities I will miss out on in getting to meet or know any of them beyond the ones I know already, but I only get one life to live before I go six feet under, and I choose to put me first.

[redthefortuneteller]

Chapter 209

Chapter 209 was… well I think it provided a lot more questions than one would expect.

So, first off, my theory of Snake being originally a snake was proven wrong by the mention of a human mother. However the experimental facility held by someone akin to a dr Moreau having made Snake the was he is, still stands. As I'd already mentioned on this post, it's been officially confirmed that he did stay and eavesdrop on their conversation. And it's also been confirmed he'd been suspicious when they said they'd leave on that morning when he said "going out again?" and finally he was indeed flip flopping between believing our Ciel and being against him, which was one of the points I made in the dr. Moreau's theory post. He says he always felt suspicious. I believe either from intuition or because Sebastian right from the get go tried sneaking into the first tier side by pretending to be lost, before he even became a member of the circus.

As a small side-note to this @abybweisse's post, Snake didn't know Smile was the earl Phantomhive. He followed the scent of their circus clothes and it led him to the town house. Once there, he was confronted by Agni and Soma, he asked if a small lad and a man dressed all in black lived there. But until then we're led to believe that he didn't know of their identity. It's been so long, I too don't remember all the details about every single thing! Also, I believe he delayed reporting to Joker because he knew Doll knew Smile was in the first tier side and did nothing. So he didn't know if he should take it into his own hands to report to Joker if Doll, who is one of his superiors in a sense, already knew of this and was keeping quiet. I spoke of this more in depth here if anyone's interested. It's the same link as the one I linked in the begining.

Right, then we have a whole rewash of things that had already been known for years, with perhaps the exception of him being taught mathematics. We'd already known that he had been taught how to read. All of this in quite a fleeting, vague way. Nothing even close to the flashbacks Baldroy got. And Baldroy didn't die so, with all humbleness, I don't think he needed so much put in about him because he shall still have time to "talk" about it. In comparison, that is. Of course it's interesting know Baldroy's backstory and know more about his time with the Phantomhives. I simply feel Snake should be rightfully owed much more in comparison, since his time is now over... I will post more of my feelings on this later. Finally, we get information about a human mother, which of course confirms my theory about his origins is not to be! At least not in it's main point which is him being a snake originally. He could still have been in a experimental facility of the sort, of course.

Now, the information we were left with is simply these three points which weren't touched on or explained in any way before he died:

he was at some point in an orphanage (but was illiterate)

he was in a cage since he can remember

he and the snakes came from somewhere far away

his mother was an actress by the name of Sarah Kemble

he not only has snake attributes like snake skin, slit pupils and a split tongue, he also understands what they say and talks to them

I've been thinking hard and am having a little bit of a hard time trying to tie these three things together in a flowing, graceful manner that would fit the story and not sound like a very twisted pretzel of a backstory. Haha! Of course given more time I hope to conjure something of sense up! I'm looking forward to reading everyone's ideas on this! Everything that I was going to say about Sarah Siddons (born, Sarah Kemble) was already said by @abybweisse on this post which is quite aptly named, given that the woman that brought Snake into the world, brought out of her womb a personified epitome of tragedy, which is him.

I'd only like to add that she was born in Wales. Although Wales doesn't really count as a place far away, I just feel like mentioning this as it could become relevant later on, or someone might think of something that might add to the story. It's hard to know exactly how much Yana intends to keep in the manga of the real Sarah Kemble and how much is made up for the story. So, how much we can stretch what we know for theories is limited. We could for example say Sarah went to one of the British colonies, gave birth to her bastard child (Snake) there and left him.

Now the orphanage and the cage are a little hard to put together for me, but alas… also him not knowing how to read is odd as he was in an orphanage. Of course, we should consider too, the possibility that he could've been living there at a time when he was very little and still unfit to learn such skills. Then some organization got him and experimented on him?

Or Was he given away in England to an orphanage and later picked up by an organization that was using "free" orphaned children to experiment on them and thus taken to somewhere far away? And that's when he was introduced to the all snakes? And then they all came together back to England again? You see how it quickly becomes a little messy? But he did say that since when he can remember he was always in a cage… was he in a cage in the orphanage? That's very peculiar. Unless, the orphanage was the experimenting facility, as in my theory (minus him being originally a snake, of course).

Could he have been born as he is of some sort of socialite demonic ritual and the mother was a sacrifice? I mean, I suppose I had already thought of this hypothesis but it just sounded so inorganic that I didn't further consider it… That's simply my opinion of course, maybe with a few little details added, it could become more palatable!

That's it for now! Thank you for reading!

[sometimes-i-write-good]

Compromise

** Part Two of “Where I’m From” **

Top Gun: Maverick - Hangman x f!reader [no use of y/n]

2k || Jake never thought he would fall in love with the woman who cried on the first date he ever took her on, but here he was months later standing in her kitchen even more in love than ever.

===

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

CW: swearing, kissing, relationship insecurity, mentions of past relationships (neglect)

Author’s Note: I just love this version of soft jake so much. And yes, this completely self-indulgent I am not sorry || cross-posted on ao3

Part One

===

===

“I hate Valentine’s Day.”

Jake’s posture didn’t change as his statement filled your kitchen alongside the sizzle of uncooked batter hitting the pan. You wished you could say the same for yours. Smile slipping and shoulders slumping as you realized you had been getting your hopes up for someone like Jake, as chivalrous and kind as he had been these few months, to be as much of a hopeless romantic as you were. As if to accent your thoughts he added a damning, “It’s a consumer holiday.”

You swallowed a disappointed ‘oh.’ Then stepped around the breakfast counter into the kitchen to start setting the table. Jake gave the barest of a glance over his shoulder, but you made sure to turn your face away from him. Ever since the mess of a first date - or, rather, second date - where you broke down in tears at dinner, Jake had been the model of a perfect boyfriend. Sure he had an ego and would flirt with you at inappropriate times, but there was no denying that Jake was a gentleman at heart. He would bring flowers home just because. Every time the two of you went out he paid. Unless you put your foot down, then he would let you take the check. It opened the door to make that same joke about confidence being a good look on you.

A point you had begun to agree with. Having Jake Seresin in your life helped you grasp at the most basic staples in the concept of self-worth, particularly when it came down to relationships. Compromise did not mean turning a blind eye to your own wishes. Honest and open conversations were possible. Even more so, they were expected with Jake.

“I find it hard to believe,” Jake had said to you one night after a long day at work where the only time the two of you really had to talk was his impromptu sleepover. “That a woman like you spent so much time in a relationship and didn’t once stand her ground.” It wasn’t supposed to come off as rude as it had. That was just Jake. Blunt, coarse, and completely well-intentioned. That latter point was what you’d chosen to focus on.

“I don’t know what it is,” you had responded, tucking yourself in between his arms as far as you possibly could. “When I get into a relationship, I forget that I can be my own person. I try too hard to be the perfect partner. Like I’m only allowed to be an extension of whoever I’m dating.”

Jake had merely brought a hand up to trace your face with his fingertips and said, “I love you, but I would rather break up with you than ever let you feel as though you were nothing more than an extension of me.”

And that’s how Jake Seresin first told you that he loved you. In the late hours of a night where, just a few hours before he’d shown up, you had been crying over not knowing why someone would date you in the first place. Feelings of doubt and inferiority clawing at your skin, desperately trying to find a way to burrow in deep. How could someone who had been proven to be unloveable time and time again suddenly get so lucky? Of course, you didn’t miss the way Jake had used the words ‘break up,’ but the fact was that you hadn’t gone into a spiraling mess of negative thoughts. Instead, you let yourself cling to the knowledge that you were loved by someone you felt truly inclined to believe for the first time in your life.

A love that could last you through a lifetime of pancake breakfasts, you thought as you reached up in the cabinets to start pulling down plates, but your mind still lingered in the after hours of that first ‘I love you.’ The only thing that brought you back to reality was Jake sliding up behind you, one arm wrapped around your waist and the other reaching out to grab the plates you were fumbling with.

“What’s wrong, darlin’?” He asked.

A dismissive hum escaped you. Force of habit. Hey, do you mind if I skip this intensive dinner you made to hang out with the guys? Hum. We can’t go out because work is so weird about us dating and without that paperwork from HR it’ll be hell to deal with. Hum. Thanks for giving me head, but I’m actually pretty tired now. I think I’ll just go to bed. Hum. Easier to avoid the conversation to confrontation pipeline. You had never been on the winning end of one in a relationship anyway. Jake had attempted to convince you otherwise but biting loneliness in comparison to a tenuous companionship felt like too much of a step in the wrong direction.

Jake said your name softly. Your eyes fluttered closed at the gentleness in his voice. “Hey,” he said, and you heard the clinking of plates being set on the counter next to you. “Talk to me.”

Arms opened; Jake used that to his advantage to swing you around to face him. You cracked an eye open. The hardest part about dating Jake was the talking. “Doll, if I did something, I want to know.”

Maybe because he always said shit like that. You felt the pressure of his thumb draw circles on your hip. This man had seen you naked. He had sat on the toilet while you took a bath just to talk. He’d mopped sweat from your brow and cleaned up puke when you had a stomach bug a few weeks ago. Yet nothing ever prepared you for the nervousness that kept creeping up during domestic moments like this where you were in his arms, and he stared down at you with the look of a lovesick puppy.

No one had ever looked at you like you were their entire world. You could feel the entire weight of it on your shoulders.

“Valentine’s Day.”

He quirked his head. “What about it?”

“I’ve never celebrated it before.”

Before you could turn your face away, Jake repositioned so that his forehead was pressed against yours and his fingers were massaging the skin on your waist. “Doll, look at me.” He waited for you to meet his eye then prompted, “And?”

“It’s stupid, never mind.”

“It’s never stupid if it means something to you, darlin’,” he said with that accent that made you weak in your knees. It was a good thing Jake was holding you up or you’d be nothing more than a puddle on the floor.

You bit down on your bottom lip. Embarrassment creeped up the back of your neck. “No one has ever done anything for me for Valentine’s Day.” You let out a sigh, but winced because it made you sound like more of a whiny high school girl. “I don’t know. I just thought - I’ve always wanted a cliche Valentine’s Day… gifts, chocolate, going out for dinner that’s way too expensive. With my other relationships there wasn’t much to celebrate… but with you, Jake, I want to.”

Jake smiled at you. That dazzling smile that made you nervous when you went out in public because it made you want to say something stupid.

“Okay,” he said then, at the confusion on your face, added, “We’ll go all out for Valentine’s Day this year.”

Guilt gnawed at your gut. He had sounded so adamant earlier in his dislike for the holiday. “But you said-”

He cut you off. “I say lots of stupid shit, doll. You really should know better than to listen to me by now.”

“I don’t want to make you do something you don’t want to though, Jake.”

“I want to make you happy.” Jake leaned in to press a kiss to your lips. When he pulled away you asked, “Are you sure you’re okay with it?”

“Of course, I am. Where I’m from we go all out. Bigger the better in Texas.” You rolled your eyes at the cocky grin that settled onto his face. “It’s a compromise, darlin’. This year we go out and do every cliche imaginable. If it’s too much for me, I’ll say something. If it’s not what you imagined, you’ll say something. Then, next year, we can pick and choose whichever parts we liked and change what we don’t like. We’ll start a tradition that’s perfect for us. Sound good?”

You nod, matching his wide smile. “I would really appreciate that, Jake.”

“Plus, when would I pass up the opportunity to celebrate my girl?” He took a step back so your back pushed against the counter and he laid flush against you. “I like taking you. It gives me a chance to show everyone how much better I have it.”

You let out a laugh. “Jake!”

“I’m serious,” he said, kissing your cheek. Then trailed them across your jaw and down your neck. You weren’t paying attention too closely, too distracted by his tongue on your skin, but you could have sworn he ground gently into you. “I’ll celebrate you every day if you let, doll.”

You tilted your head to the side. Jake jumped at the chance to press more kisses to the exposed skin on your neck. “I love you,” you told him, your voice between a breathy mound and a dreamy sigh.

In shock Jake jerked away from you.

And that’s how you first told Jake Seresin you loved him. And the moment you realized the pancakes on the stove had burned to a crisp. Jake had too many stars in his eyes to pull the pan from the stove. Not that you minded. Cleaning up the mess was the least you could do after he went through all the trouble - no, not trouble. He cooked, you cleaned.

A compromise. The hallmark of a healthy relationship. Something you did for someone you loved, and you really loved Jake Seresin.

Bonus:

“What the hell are you doing?” You glanced over to the other end of the counter at Jake. It was taking longer than expected to scrape the burnt bits of batter from the pan, which should have given him plenty of time to make a new breakfast plan. Except for the fact that he looked elbow deep in a crime scene. “I’m making pancakes.” The batter in the glass bowl was a bright red. Alarmingly red, but Jake spoke as though you were supposed to know exactly what he was doing. “They’re going to be shaped like hearts.”

You shook your head at him, going back to scrubbing. “Try not to burn these ones then. That would be a bad omen.”

“Try not to distract me by being so damn beautiful.”

“Can’t promise anything.” You could feel his eyes on you.

“God,” he said, “You’re so fucking hot when you’re confident.”

You turned to look at him, catching his eye, and let a mimic of his smug smirk settle on your lips. “Focus on not burning my breakfast this time flyboy.”

He scoffed at the nickname but set his focus back on intensely stirring out the streaks of red dye in the batter. You didn’t even realize that you had food dye in your kitchen.

“Jake? You do realize Valentine’s Day is next week, right?”

“It’s not every day the love of your life tells you that they love you too. And if Valentine’s Day is celebrating your relationship, then every day is Valentine’s Day for me.”

“God, you’re so fucking hot when you use those cheesy lines like that on me.”

His eyes were on you again. Hotter this time. “Should we forget breakfast,” he asked. You slid your gaze back over to him. The pan splashed into the sink, splashing water up onto your his shirt.

“I have to go change this shirt,” you said in response.

Jake dropped the spoon. Globs of red batter splattered in all directions, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You were too busy racing him to the bedroom laughing in pure joy the entire way there.

===

taglist: @potato-girl99981 @milani-marie @gizmodear​ 

[dearcat1]

(The choices you made)

Part 14 of Unfortunate Surprises

The thing about Xanxus, Tsuna thinks, is that he's rough in a world that tells him that he should be soft. Softness, however, is a vulnerability and Xanxus's life has shown the omega that it holds too high a price. It's not that Xanxus doesn't know how to be submissive, it's that his submission has been both taken for granted and abused. How Timoteo doesn't see his own hand in Xanxus's refusal to bare his throat, Tsuna doesn't know.

"He listens to you," Timoteo sighs. "If I could, I would try to talk to him but coming from me, he would not hear it."

Timoteo is a complicated topic. Before Vongola came around, Tsuna was a failure of a pup. An alpha pup who knew nothing of leadership. But this pack comes with so many strings attached, so many wrong turns and dangers. Tsuna loves Timoteo for welcoming him in and hates him for abandoning him in the first place.

"I won't do it." Tsuna puts his glass down. "I won't be your replacement leash for Xanxus. Have you ever wondered why he doesn't listen to you?"

"There's no need to wonder." Timoteo looks old, like this. Old and too tired. "I made mistakes but he's still my son. I love him."

Do you even know what love is? It's an unkind thought. Timoteo is many things but an unfeeling monster isn't one of them. He's worse, he feels just fine and stabs you in the back regardless. Tsuna shouldn't be having this conversation, not when he's feeling like this: too raw and a little too drunk. There's a reason why he avoids his parents.

He picks up his glass once more, not even feeling the burn of the whisky on his throat. "It's not that he doesn't listen to you. It's that you've proven that following your command is akin to self-harm." Tsuna's chest is too tight, the necklace a burning reminder against his skin. "You're not owed a second chance." Are they even talking about Xanxus anymore?

"Tsunayoshi…" Timoteo leans forward, curling his hand around Tsuna's arm. "I made a mistake."

Kyoko was kind and beautiful, even to Useless-Tsuna. She was everything he wanted. But she was a civilian and didn't fit the criteria Timoteo wanted for his heir's mate.

"No." Tsuna downs the rest of the alcohol. "You made a choice." He thinks of Xanxus, naked and relaxed in Tsuna's bed, full of a trust Tsuna doesn't know when he earned. "I love you," no matter how bitter the feeling is. "But if Xanxus were to suffer any sort of accident, no matter how convincing… I don't care what I will burn on my way down as long as you go down with me."

Timoteo lets him go, face devoid of emotions as he leans back. "You're dismissed."

The smile on Tsuna's face is one sided, part grimace, part reluctant amusement. He stands, putting his glass down again. "Sir." He should have avoided this conversation, he's too raw, too careless. But Tsuna is angry, he's scared. Timoteo froze his son for eight years once, what will he do to force the omega into the mold Timoteo wants? The perfect mate for the future Don Vongola. Tsuna doesn't want to know.

"I'm not as cruel as you boys make it out to be." Timoteo murmurs, moving to follow. "I'm glad you're happy together."

"What will it cost us?" Tsuna doesn't tilt his head, doesn't stop to acknowledge he's being addressed. "With you, the price rises higher each time."

The pack alpha stills. "I am old. I'd like to rest and watch my pack thrive."

"Nobody is stopping you." Tsuna steps out of the room, turning back just long enough to shake his head. "Only your fear."

Timoteo is pack alpha because nobody dares to challenge him. Once the position is taken from him… well, will he be welcome?

[olberic]

i wanna hear your law talesofarise thoughts then

ohh this is a can of worms you’re opening rn. im so obsessed with this guy and am always thinking about how the game does him dirty so please share in this with me

(obviously spoilers ahead for tales of arise) (and a few for beyond the dawn)

(and yes im being dead serious about this)

more than anything else or any of the major criticisms you hear about tales of arise, literally my biggest problem with it is how law is treated, both by the other party members and by the writing itself.

so let’s start with why law immediately caught my attention as a character at the beginning: hes a turncoat! he’s a dahnan actively working with the renans! the story bring you straight from calaglia, where that would have been UNTHINKABLE, to show you “hey! not only do dahnans work with the renans, some of them go so far as to prioritize that work over their own family!” which is fascinating! we get thrown into a fight with law, where he clearly uses the same fighting skills as his father, he has calaglian instrumentation in his fight music, and he doesnt show any mercy. all this while knowing hes going to become a party member! because then we learn through the course of that chapter (and a little bit later in the game) that law’s working there under duress, that he watched his comrades be killed in front of him, that he was left alive if he joined with the snake eyes. and he still has nightmares about that. we learn that he DOESNT hate his father, just left on bad terms and couldnt reconcile with his father’s way of being a father. he couldnt stand how overbearing and patronizing zephyr was, and the first thing zephyr does when they reunite is do exactly that! no wonder law was frustrated at him! but then you get to see his absolute loneliness as a dahnan working for the snake eyes. he gets no sympathy from the renans who treat him as other because hes a dahnan, and active dislike from dahnans because hes working with renans. but if his other option was to be killed, then we as the audience have to ask if this was a decision that’s sympathetic. but we do get this conversation:

law: “i never did tell you how i ended ip hanging around with the snake eyes, did i?”

alphen: “not properly. all i know is you had a falling-out with your dad and ran away from home.”

law: “getting to cyslodia almost killed me. once there, though, i actually ended up joining a resistance organization, believe it or not. of course, before long someone ratted us out, and we were ambushed by the snake eyes. i’d never seen such brutality. if i hadn’t surrendered…”

alphen: “law?”

law: “i don't know why they let me live. they made me watch as they butchered my friends right in front of my eyes. i still have nightmares. i hear roars of zeugles as my friends scream, the snow stained red with blood. and all the while those bastards, laughing. i thought that with ganabelt defeated, i’d be able to put it all behind me. turns out that was a little optimistic. i was terrified they would kill me, too. so i wound up betraying the memory of my friends, and getting my old man killed in the process. i wonder if i’m any braver now. what if one day i panic again, and end up running away like always?”

alphen: “and leave us behind? you really think you’d do that?”

law: “i hope not. but who’s to say what i’m really capable of?”

[lies down]

so there’s the whole thing with law trying to free zephyr and fight back against the snake eyes. as a dahnan that’d be a death sentence even if it weren’t coming from a member of the snake eyes. and yes cyslodia’s built on betrayal, but it establishes law as somebody who betrayed his father, who betrayed his people, and who betrayed his pledged loyalty. it also establishes that when push comes to shove, he cant stand by as an observer and enforcer — hes a protector at heart. and it gets proven again and again throughout the game when hes the first one to jump into things that he isnt made to be an observer! as a person hes so fundamentally opposed to what the snake eyes do but still managed to be convinced to work with them for his own well being. we see in beyond the dawn that he experiences deep regret for what he did and for how he was directly responsible for the suffering of other dahnans he sent to the pylons. hell, even when alphen gets him come along with them, theres this little interaction:

law: its not like theres anyone waiting for me in calaglia either. …plenty of ditches along the road. maybe i’ll find one to die in.”

alphen: “how about a fresh start?”

law: “after the kinds of things ive done? i don't know where id even begin.”

so we need to keep in mind that even if he doesnt talk about it, even if he puts on a front, that he a) thinks hes irredeemable, b) feels intense guilt for what hes done, c) still has nightmares about seeing his friends be killed, and d) is living with the knowledge that if it weren’t for his actions, his father would still be alive. (and its important to note that he recognizes it’s not just his own personal loss, he’s well aware how deeply zephyr’s death affects both the party and the crimson crows.)

and here i’ve got to talk about an under appreciated law detail that i love about him so very much: law, the loudmouthed, immature-acting brawler of the party, has the capacity and skills to have been a great snake eye. look — we saw how he acted with zephyr. but in the “stowaway law” skit he says “eh, lets just say i’ve always had a knack for sneaking around since i was little” to explain how he escaped calaglia. hell, for months, as a kid in a brand new realm, he managed to join a resistance cell and avoid getting caught (for a while). when he helps zephyr escape, he uses smoke bombs. when the party is getting tailed by kisara in viscint, hes not only the only person who notices, he manages to fall back, sneak up on HER unaware, and get a blade to her throat! the woman who's supposed to be the best guardsman in the realm! in beyond the dawn, he can sense the party's being followed and calls out nazamil even when she's invisible. and when that zeugle is attacking pharia ranch, law's the first person to be able to track this invisible creature. law’s perceptive, sneaky, unafraid to dirty his hands for the sake of others, and this trait is soooo fucking underutilized in this game…

which probably brings me to why i cant stand tales of arise sometimes. for every incident of law doing this, or showing literally any emotional vulnerability, theres three incidents of the other party members (rinwell) disparaging him. and it pisses me off SO MUCH. its obvious from that first conversation when he joins the party that while he does have a lighthearted nature, hes got a ton of guilt and self-hatred and regret that take precedence, and he’ll put on a joking front to cover that up. because how can he let himself be who is he when he just got his father killed? and this slips out plenty of times in the game — tons of skits have him start to bring up how it felt to lose his father — but every goddamn time he starts to talk about himself, rinwell insults him.

im not fucking joking! ive played this game twice through. i copy down every skit and conversation that law’s involved in for the entire game. law can’t get a fucking SENTENCE out about who he is as a person without rinwell insulting him. the game tries to play this off as banter when its ALWAYS one sided. rinwell gets to have her emotional scenes with other characters without law jumping in. hell, if she starts to be serious with him, he listens! but heaven forbid he get the same respect in turn! and its not just her. shionne never hears him out (and hell, i love shionne the most, but i really dont like that part of her) and its clear she doesnt see much past his front. kisara and dohalim both see him as totally immature.

“but zad,” you say, “law IS immature.” yeah! of course he is! hes 16 and hes never been allowed to have a childhood! hes been involved with the crimson crows since the day he was born! he escapes calaglia as a kid! hes had time to join a resistance cell and end up working with the snake eyes all by the time he’s 16!!! he says it himself, traveling with the party is the first time hes been allowed to be himself. he wears silly wolf decorations because he thinks they look cool and he doesnt have anywhere else to put them. he playfights with alphen. he lets himself have fun in fights. he (unsuccessfully) flirts. he eats good food and learns to cook. hes got immature taste because hes a teenager. i know i sure was the same! he makes ill-timed jokes because he hasnt been able to be a normal part of friendly conversation before. he has a hard time reading other people because he’s only had people patronize him or suspect him until now.

but the fact is that for all his silliness and immaturity, he is more than that. hes sneaky and traumatized and guilt-ridden and has such a big heart that the first things he does when finding himself is to protect others. (hell, he even says “if im not training, its easy for me to get anxious.” ) and it frequently feel like the writers forget his backstory and motivations and treat him solely as comic relief and as a tool to develop other characters (rinwell).

the most egregious example of this is the almeidrea incident, which i can hardly watch. law’s a character who joins the party and immediately gets revenge on the guy who killed his father (which is still an awesome scene), realizes that doesnt bring him back or undo law’s complicity, then stews with that knowledge and doesnt tell anybody. i love a good revenge plot, but i can see where he comes from when he says “killing the person who wronged you doesnt undo what they did”. but what really and utterly kills me is that all of that is a throwaway line used to develop rinwell’s story. time and time again in this game law’s completely disregarded and im honestly so fucking sick of it 😭 the most we get is this line:

alphen: “law left home because of how much he hated his father. i think law spent a lot of time thinking about how they never got to make things right. and if i had to guess, killing ganabelt didn't make any of those feelings go away.”

and the handful of good scenes (law’s pep talk to alphen when shionne’s kidnapped, law’s conversation with the traitor dahnan and the informants)

so yeah. i dont have a conclusion to this. i adore that law’s a traitor and hes sneaky and hes competent and fights like his dad and wears a silly wolf decoration and lives with unimaginable guilt and has nightmares and has favourite foods and flirts badly and likes being a farmer. im just like cheering for this guy and supporting him unconditionally because the game itself sure won’t.

[buttercuparry]

This post is inspired by @fromtheseventhhell's post

If Sansa isn't just seeing what she wants to see, but following LF because she has no alternative ( I mean fair...what's a girl to do? She needs roof over her head at least), then it means she knows now what sweetsleep does.

Father and I have larger concerns.

This was said by her when she was thinking of how what's best for Robert the boy is not always good for the Lord Arryn of Vale. And it might be argued that since Sansa hadn't known about the plan it was simply stated with the view of state matters. However were Arya or Dany in her place, and they chose as she has chosen, this alone would have been enough to vilify them. Interestingly enough Sansa's choice to overlook her cousin's health in favour of political matters is shrugged off. I am not trying to give an opinion about Sansa's choice of actions here (for I have none), I am merely stating what I found in the text.

Now what about what happens after? In the sample chapter of Twow, we see her not mulling one bit on the fact what seducing Harry leads to. Harry the Heir becomes more than just an upjumped knight only when the condition of his being the heir is fulfilled. And it can only be fulfilled through Robert's death.

I know that we can't judge without reading the whole of twow and this is why I usually do not take part in the conjecture of Sansa poisoning Robert. But what sticks out as a sore thumb is when Sansa is said to be this masterful little politician in making. More intelligent and more artful than the teenage politicians who have actually proven their worth. She is also said to be the most innocent and kindliest of them all, having clean hands and no blood on them. Not so innocent now is she?

I mean even if we are to interpret that she is being forced to do this because she has to keep LF in her favour, it should ( at least to those who are so eager to criticize Dany for forgetting the name of the girl who was burnt to death by her dragons) ring alarm bells about how Sansa spares not one thought to the plot in the Twow sample chapter. I mean we see her thinking that Robert is a fool for wanting to marry her and claiming to love her; we see her happily jaunting around with Myranda Royce, being quite proud of the tourney she has helped arrange, hoping that Harry the Heir would come to at least like her, being over the moon that her "father" should raid the whole of Vale for lemons just so she can have the spectacle of an impressive lemoncake. Not once in this chapter we see her thinking about sweetsleep being forced to run through Robert's blood or the ominous wording of not "if" Robert dies but "when" he dies. It is true that nothing can be said for sure from only one chapter of a yet to be released book but for now this is all we have.

Now if we are to say that Sansa truly doesn't realize what she is being made to do, then we have to say that she is once again seeing what she wants to see. I find these lines odd:

He does have pretty hair. If the gods are good and he lives long enough to wed, his wife will admire his hair, surely. That much she will love about him.

A consideration of a future where Lord Arryn has a wife brings the possibility of an heir from Robert's own line. Harry the Heir would then be pushed back further down the line of inheritance and possibly then all the gifts that LF promised Sansa then would only be that: empty promises. So Sansa considering a future where Robert lives long enough to wed means that she isn't seeing what LF plans to do. Even when LF has conspired right in front of her. It cannot be anything but a deliberate coping mechanism then. Which again begs the question about all those bloggers who dismiss Arya's own experience of being bullied as her being an unreliable narrator and throws stalk into everything Sansa says...how come they never discuss this?

The political genius in the making gives no extra thought to the overheard conversation where LF is deliberately causing a scarcity of food while simultaneously throwing a feast fit for a king. If this girl truly were to trump both Jon and Dany, shouldn't there have been idk some thought given to this?

I am not saying that Sansa is stupid. She has potential and I am truly impressed how she reeled in Harry the Heir. But the way her stans talk about, especially when they disgrace so many other characters to prove how much better Sansa is than them, where every little thing that Dany does is considered to be a symptom of madness, while Sansa's own involvement in a possible murder is dismissed as her being naive, while simultaneously where Jon is bashed for his stupidity while Sansa's continuous lack of political awareness of the lives of the mass is not even deemed to being an important topic of discussion...it feels a certain kind of way. There is also the continuous insistence that Arya is an unreliable narrator even though the readers face the most confusion while reading Sansa's chapters.

Sansa cannot be the child prodigy of political matters and the naive dove with a dangerous coping mechanism in the same breathe. The only other explanation can be what has been pushed onto Arya for so long. That is, Sansa doesn't care one whit for Winterfell. She truly cannot perceive Robert Arryn being murdered. She wants Harry as someone with whom she can build a life with and cares not for his supposed inheritance. She cares not for her own claim on her house's ancient seat and would eventually live her life away from it. But I am sure even this wouldn't be satisfying to them.

[transmogrified-in-the-void]

Hey 18-20 year olds? You’ve only just started the hardest part of growing up: learning how the hell to do that and how to be an adult. And yeah, I’m in the same boat, here’s some things that have helped me so far

- a friend who is older than you

My best friend is 7 years older than me, and he’s been able to give me so much advice on personal philosophy, how to work on personal issues, etc.

- a friend who holds you accountable/is very honest with you

having a friend who will take you aside and tell you “x thing you’re doing is actually making y hard/unfun/stressful/etc.” is more valuable than yes men friends. These are the friends who will question life decisions if they seem to make you unhappy, in the pursuit of making sure you’re exactly where you need to be.

- learning how to make accountable apologies

Here’s how I structure my apologies now, and I’ve had not only good reactions and conversations afterwards, but I’ve had to use them in various ways. “I’m sorry about x. Y was happening, and instead of doing x thing I should have done z thing. Again, I’m sorry.” It not only has removed the loathed “but”, but it also allows for explanation and a plan on how to avoid it. I will also sometimes add “I’ll try my best to do z thing” if I know I’m going to need some time to fully erase the mistake if it was a habit, but in general that helps a lot.

- start trying to find who is a small dose person and who’s a large dose person

What is a small dose person? For example: I know someone who I can only be around for maybe an hour when with other people before I become irritated by their presence. Is it their fault I’m irritated by them? No, and they’ll never know I am. Because I’m only around them for around an hour once every few months. That’s small dose. It’s the “you’re not a bad person I just cannot be around you for long periods of time”.

- if things you read on social media/the internet make you emotional, restructure how you spend your time

Here’s a really hot take. For those who were tuned in for the dungeons and dragons drama, I’m about to tell you guys something crazy. The draft that was leaked was actually incredibly lenient (I can’t remember what it was called haha). How do I know this? I could tell I was getting a little heated and sent it to a friend who knows way more about that sort of stuff and asked for his opinion, and he told me about other examples of it that were more harsh but not lambasted. If you read a headline or a post or tweet and get up in arms, take a step back and take a breath. You don’t have the time to get emotional about every little thing, you’re too busy growing up.

- make friends or acquaintances who don’t believe the same thing as you

My best friend is a centrist who leans more right than left. I am more left leaning than he is by a good amount. We both have very enlightening conversations because of that. Here’s the funny thing, I do hold some right leaning beliefs anyways because that better supports the area I live in. I don’t want the government grabbing the land around me because they’ve proven to be incompetent. I’m fine with looser gun control because there have been times where mountain lions just. Appear in my city. We have an overpopulation of wolves right now. A few other ones I don’t feel like sharing. My friend has changed how he views certain issues and so I have I because we talk about what we disagree about. If they respect you, they’ll debate but not argue

- not everything is about you

Building off that last point, not every counterpoint is an attack on you. It can feel like it, because you’re still expanding the telescope you see out of into two working eyes (I’m still getting there too), so being able to say to yourself that this is either a) bigger than you or b) not about you at all can help you get through more conversations more levelheaded

- you’re in puberty

Final thing: your body is still a hormonal war zone. Emotions are heightened, thought processes are everywhere, you are still growing up. Give yourself time. And grace. And kindness.

[jakantakanga]

Men in reality have never cared about women, and even men who claim to be feminist tend to be quite the opposite.

Men treat women in two manners,

1) Pretend to be nice to her, as I’m attracted.

2)I’m not attracted to her, and therefore she deserves to be treated awfully.

1) I, and many other women, cannot tell you the amount of times we’d met a man, had them be nice to us, only for them to confess their “””love””” for us in only 3 days. I had once met a man who came up to me in the library because I had been reading a book he said he enjoyed, only for him to ask for my phone number. The man never once asked my name, and knew nothing about me besides the fact I liked a book he did and that I was from the same island as him, but in only 2 days of knowing him, he sent me a lewd message asking for nudes. Imagine that! When I said no, and that I had a girlfriend, he swiftly blocked me and pretended I had not existed. This has happened multiple times to me, and is a reality of women

2) Men do not even consider the woman they find to be unattractive, human! Growing up, I had struggled with acne, I was/am autistic, and even more so I have always been out as a lesbian. The way in which men referred to and talked to me was cruel, always pointing out my flaws and making fun of my looks, telling me to shut up when I tried to join in on conversation, and even in some cases, calling me slurs. Just not even a month ago a man whom I knew for a long time got extremely mad at me when I questioned a comment he made. His response? He called me a dyke, a “sped bitch” and even threw in my race with more mysoginistic degrading “go eat some rice and beans you border hopping lesbo cunt.” (I wish I was making this up.) And this was the man who criticized me and called me anti-feminist for not being a fan of the barbie movie! Studies have proven time and time again that men do not see women they can’t sexualize as people, and women’s experiences can confirm this.

Stop trying to affirm that men can care for women, stop saying that you know men who are “one of the good ones,” and ask yourself, have you ever met a man who didn’t fit into those two categories?

[friend-of-giants]

Another dragon ask, then! Talon!

I knew exactly the scene I wanted to share for this one! This is from Chapter 6 of Into Ash, a small conversation between Wren and Teldryn the night before she faces off against Miraak. Also my goodness I want to rewrite that entire fic. I've improved so much since then!

A scene that tugs at the heartstrings (at least i hope it does lol)

Teldryn scratched at the scarf covering his chin. "You really have nothing to lose? Nothing to live for?"

Wren was quiet for a few moments, digging deep for any reason other than pride to keep going. Normally she would snap at him for prying into her life like this, but time was running short, and getting heated about it didn't seem like a good use of her time. "No," she said after a while of pondering. "My horse, if you can count that as a reason to live. He's in good hands with the man who raised him. Haven't seen or heard from my parents or my brother in over sixty years, and honestly I don't have any friends that I speak with anymore. The only people I cared for are… well, they're long dead, but if I die at least I can see them again. So, no. I have nothing."

"I'm sorry," he whispered, rubbing the top of her head as a small act of kindness. She wanted to flinch away from his touch, but couldn’t bring herself to do it. It was the first compassionate touch she had been given in over six months, and it felt nice, it warmed a part of her soul that had long since gone dormant. "These people you lost, who were they? If you don't want to answer, I understand."

Teldryn’s question struck like a slap to the face, though it did not hurt as much as it once would have. Time had dulled the sharpness of the pain and left only a hollow ache in its place, an ache she was trying to forget. She blinked, then fixed her eyes on an unassuming mound of snowberries at the table to gather her thoughts.

How much should she tell him, if anything? Why did he even want to know? He was only a mercenary and likely didn’t care, but something about him had changed over the last week. She felt a new sense of security with him, and had found herself speaking more openly with him since that day at Nchardak, when she had proven to him exactly who and what she was.

He had changed, and she almost felt as if she could trust him. She supposed there wasn’t much to lose by opening up a little.

"My family," Wren began after a long moment of silence. "Not the one I left behind, but…” Her attention turned from the snowberries back to Teldryn, to the light from the fire shining off his goggles. He remained quiet, the only sound around them being the crackle of the flames and the angry wind rushing against the roof.

A low, gravelly whisper broke the silence and cut her off before she could even open her mouth again. “The one you were trying to make?”

His words caught her off guard, spoken as if they were plucked straight from her own tongue. She nodded slowly, and blinked back tears that were beginning to form. “Something like that. They’re gone because of me. I’m not meant to have that kind of life, not with what I am.”