#maybe everyone knew that but still!!!
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Omgomgomg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m literally going to throw up and maybe pass out (in a good way)
#wilderlore#first kiss???!!!!??!???#and I KNEW that yasha would be with the main group in TNC!#maybe everyone knew that but still!!!#and maybe that doesn’t mean it��s yasha but come on#ok back to the first kiss part#it has to be barsha right??#maybe not but that’s only thing I can think she would specify it for#I’m literally dying#and yasha!!!! 😭😭😭#I’m so excited to see him!#this is killing me#i can’t believe this#like first kiss?? in this book???#ok I’ll shut up now
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listen there really was just something about how in the book, snow’s 3-page descent from hesitant lover boy to deluded mfer happens entirely in his mind. lucy gray gives him no indication whatsoever that she suspects him, that she’s going to leave or betray him. he’s just sitting quietly in the cabin waiting for her to return when that seed of calculated suspicion, which he has needed to survive the capitol, takes a hold of him and chokes the life out of any goodness left inside him. it really drives home your terror as a reader that “oh my god did he kill her? did she escape? what happened to her? why would he even think that?” in a way that when the movie had to adjust for visualization it lost some of that holy shit this guy has lost it emphasis.
#seeing some discourse and im not saying lucy grey didnt know#im saying she never dropped the kind of hints that she knew like she did in the movie#or if she did snow isnt worried about them until he very suddenly is consumed by them#snow is not concerned about whether or not she believed him. of course she did! hes snow!#but then shes gone…. for a while……#and its the sudden immediate drastic unravelling that comes across so clearly in the book#that i knew wouldn’t translate to screen yet still cant help but miss#the hunger games#coriolanus snow#tbosas#lucy gray baird#not a crime or anything just a note that i cannot stop thinking about#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#this is all from memory of reading it quite a while ago. so maybe 3 pages is an exaggeration#but i remember it happening VERY quickly and without much external cause#like we as the reader have no indication as to whether shes nearby or not.#snow has no idea either. he just SUSPECTS. and his suspicion breeds the hatred that has been bubbling inside him all this time#he hates how she undoes him. he hates that he WOULD run away with her if shed let him keep his secrets#and he HATES more than anything that she makes him WANT to tell his secrets#he wants to be vulnerable and reveal the ugly nasty parts about himself and still be loved#but he does not let himself and it is everyone’s downfall#he chooses cruelty bc it is easy and familiar and makes him feel more powerful than the vulnerable give and take that real love requires
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they're exhausting<3
#art#digital art#fanart#one piece#one piece fanart#zosan#comic#everyone knew they'd still get into petty fights when they got together...just maybe not like this#but i feel like they WOULD do this tho#edit:JUST realised i left up the colors next to sanji's face and im so embarrassed.... need to stop posting at 4 am#makes my brain mush
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give me some whiskey and ill draw The Most Thing i can come up with
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#this wasnt the personal thing i wanted to draw this weekend but it has been on the back burner for a while so. it counts !!!!!!#i did sketch this last night. MODERATELY hammered and the final comic is Just A Tad diff from the sketch im wheezing#just in terms of angles but still thats huge to me#CHAT everyone knew i was gonna draw SOMETHING as soon as i saw those tentacles#however i flipped the script on you all. probably. idk SOMEONE prob assumed i woulda had magneto use them#but how the turn tables .... have turned. this is so stupid JVLKJVLA if this gets 5k on twitter ill do a charles ver MAYBE.#welcome back to my ongoing series of These Old Men Will Make Their Weird Love Affair Everyones Problem#i have an exam in the morning i need to stop this#ill have to this week like Truly but still VJELRKVJE I GOTTAAAA STOPPP DRAWIN THIS LATE#anyways. please enjoy this is so dumb but i got to try drawing charles' powers in effect so thats nice#i should do a study of that one day ... not anyday soon LMAO GOD moving on goodnight everyone !!
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I rewatched Zuko and Azula's Agni Kai recently and it's left me wondering – when Zuko begins to goad Azula into striking him with lightning, was he making the decision to kill her?
Because had Azula shot lightning directly at him like he planned and not at Katara, the most forthright implication to me is that he was intending to strike Azula with her own lightning. And Azula, for all her mastery, would not have been able to counter that.
On the other hand, maybe he wasn't planning to kill her at all and was simply planning to redirect it elsewhere (similar to what he did with Ozai). But given the tone of tragedy throughout the Agni Kai, the fact that they both acknowledge that this fight will be "the end" to them, I don't think it's inaccurate to read Zuko's actions as him preparing to kill Azula, even though an Agni Kai doesn't have to end with death (and in canon it didn't). Also, why goad her into striking him with lightning if he wasn't planning on doing something intentional with it? If anything, it adds another layer to the tragedy to me, because I don't believe Zuko wants to kill her. And it stands in such contrast to the way that Azula desperately wants to kill him.
I also think that there would have even been something sadly poetic in that sort of demise for Azula should the Agni Kai had gone this direction: Azula, struck down by her preferred sub-skill. Azula, struck down by the very bolt of lightning that she intended to kill her brother with. Azula, struck down by her own power.
#I'm just so curious to Zuko's state of mind during this Agni Kai#maybe I'm slow on the uptake and everyone's gonna be like: obviously he was trying to kill her#but it just... never occurred to me#Like I knew he brought up lightning redirection as an intentional goad?#but I never really thought about what his planned outcome was given how the fight ends up panning out#Also Zuko's perspective when it comes to killing is interesting to me#because morally he's not against it!!#He thinks Ozai should die#And tells Ozai that the reason that he's not going to kill him (during the eclipse) is because of optics/politics (its the avatar's duty)#he thinks that had Katara killed her mother's killer it would have been a form of justice#(or maybe he was just referring to the act of her confronting him idk that whole convo is very ambiguous at times lol)#and yet AND YET he still reached out to save Zhao in season 1 despite Zhao having tried to kill him#he seems shocked (unsettled?) by the idea that Azula might die when she's falling from the airship and that's what?#days? a few weeks before the Agni Kai?#(and sure that reaction could just be shock that she would die so... randomly? but still)#Its just so fascinating#and so tragic#atla#zuko
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Mind if she was a beautiful arachnid robot woman
#hmsdoodles#Her design is still a WIP but I think her name will be Electryone#saw everyone making pretty fem Mind designs with animal traits and knew what I had to do#COUGH Bluestarlett COUGH#i still don’t know how to make an AU but maybe this is a start#chonnys charming chaos compendium#cccc#chonny jash#cj mind#cccc mind#spider character
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i really love my friends
#had like. 10 people over tonight plus my housemates and it was. so nice#not everyone knew eachother but we all just chilled and ate food and played games and i . needed it#ive been. lonely lately. and it really felt like it was the first time in a while i could take my mind off things and relax#ive. been taking steps forward#i’m gonna take only four classes next semester I think. and get back into my hobbies and my solo art#im gonna try and go see live music more often and stuff like that#maybe go home on weekends more frequently#i am. going to try#i still cant believe how many friends i have#going to zero to 1 to like. so many has been quite the transition#im trying to be more outgoing
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I'm imagining Zhao was Jee's neighbor growing up, and his frown lines are the result of him listening to him talk.
poor unfortunate soul jee
[ID: digital drawing of Zhao and Jee from avatar the last airbender de-aged to a young teen (maybe 13 years). Zhao on the left of the image is leaning forward shouting at jee "play Wonderwall". on the right of the image is jee clutching a sting instrument looking perplexed at the rude request. End ID.]
#atla#jee#zhao#this was one of these drawing where you just.... started and kept adding and adding#and whops?!?!#suddenly there is a BG#oh well just... leave it roughly shaded no colours call it a day#i want to add... i feel with jee!#i knew once how to play guitarr but everyone only requested to play wonderwall#maybe is should try to learn that song#maybe i should still keep refusing out of spite!#i know what you wonder! "why does zhao has a school uniform and jee not?'#well you see...#poor planing i am now morthing into... zhao is the insuferable rich kid and jee is... well not poor but not rich rich.#for some reason it was easyer to get zhao righ then jee....#dang it zhao!
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Something something Curly being confined to the gurney and being unable to talk makes it so he has to see the little things since he literally can not see the bigger things himself anymore.
However, it also makes the little things become big because his inability to talk and break the bigger things down into smaller things gives him glimpses into the cracks he couldn’t see before.
#uh this was bright on by thinking about how Anya probably didn’t directly tell Curly what Jimmy did cause like think about it#I don’t think he would’ve forgotten the direct statement or downplayed “Jimmy raped me and got me pregnant ’’ maybe cause she was too#scared of the scenario where he would reject the direct statement still so she only alluded to it in ways that are clear to her but he’d#have to piece together while Jimmy is obviously refraining refocusing and obscuring his bigger picture m#like those pieces about the door and Jimmy’s behavior and her distress and being pregnant only clicked last moment because he had enough#little things to paint a bigger picture that over shadowed Jimmy and what Jimmy wasn’t revealing to him son he could fill in the gaps#like him asking what did you do or you didn’t did you was both about the crash and realizing what he did to Anya#and like after he’s injured he kinda gets what Anya meant since all he can do is piece the little things together#like he got to see those little parts of everyone up close and unfiltered and got to experience he knew everyone a little less than he#thought be did like do you not understand#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing
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at first getting diagnosed with cptsd was like, "yay my trauma has been validated (it always was valid)!" and i really thought that was going to be it, but then i started to do research as i do whenever i realize i have something and learned that!! the way i experience socialization is!! quite horrid actually!!
#i have had this stupid fucking rule for myself for years since i was little#''dont speak unless you're spoken to or else something bad will happen. nobody wants to hear what you have to say unless they ask''#I TELL MYSELF THAT ALL THE TIME????#AND I DIDNT REALIZE IT WASNT NORMAL#thats not something that healthy people think to themselves whenever they want to talk to people. they just talk to them#they dont tell themselves not to speak to people for fear of what may happen to them jesus christ spacie#i get so scared when i message anybody ANYTHING#bc everything and anything i wanna talk about feels so stupid why would anyone give a shit#staring at a funny joke i want to send someone for 30 fucking minutes before deleting it b/c my brain is like ''errmm who cares?''#''also they're going to yell at you for wasting their time!!!''#i sent my friend a meme once and had a panic attack (or maybe a flashback?? im still trying to figure out what they are) immediately after#this shit sucks dude. it sucks#at least im processing what happened to me. thats why it hurts so bad rn its been stockpiled for like.#2 decades#im not looking for any sympathy here im just putting it out there#so that anybody who feels the same way i do know they're not alone#ive been struggling everyday for like 2 months now (actually DEFINITELY longer)#it will get better. things just need to be taken one step at a time#i have gotten thru my worst days i have a 100% success rate#how many days have i been alive#7930#lightwork#lets keep it goin#vent#trauma tw#trauma mention#wrote this post thru a flashback btw!! dealing with them is getting easier#before i would be unable to function for days at a time!!!#with one of the most recent ones i had i was so in the thick of it i avoided everyone i knew for a week cuz i was convinced#i was an evil unlovable freak that only wanted to hurt people
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im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism
yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm
#enby-peep#lol its funny for me personally bc i see a lot of stuff that reminds me of my cousins daughter........ and shes autistic#but everyone in our family constantly and my cousin especially is like Shes you. You are her. Youre so alike.#So you were autistic and that explains your childhood#and i was like Um. I dont know :) i dont know........ i refused it and then i went to the psych for my adhd#he was like 🤨 can you fill out these sheets... and it was to see if i was hitting the markers#and i was hitting them. I was hitting them out the park but i also knew exactly what to answer... not to hear it#so i just answered it... incorrectly to myself. anyway that was 3 yrs ago and i still go ???? why did you lie ??? wtf#so. maybe my seungmin commentary is sometimes a commentary on myself also#but its the same reason being sent to therapy as a teenager didnt work on me bc i knew exactly what to say to be#told what i wanted to hear- youre a mature smart young woman- youre good. id just lie to hear that even if it wasnt actually helpful#and i succeeded. Im a great actress. i didnt want help i wanted to be perceived as normal and i was for a minute. incorrectly.#and probably negatively maybe if i didnt lie i'd be different now but I did and I did it again 3 yrs ago but..... I think ive finally left#idk. my weird obsession with being 'normal' behind- i dont follow the script as much as i did before and im much more honest about how i am#this is an insane set of tags LMAO#so sorry#i dont talk about this stuff often and its An Anniversary today i accidentally used this ask as an emotional dumping ground#some people have journals (seungmin) i have tags on a tumblr post#peace and love on planet earth
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Revisiting Bartimaeus tag first time in two years feels like coming home from a long journey tbh. Like, time pass by, and all the same faces will still be making memes and and laughing about similar scenes and all of this is so precision and something never changes and I love this sm I cannot describe this in words.
#bartimaeus#bartseq#hey guys do you...do you remember me....??/j#the Ukrainian copy of RoS is coming soon so SO#I have to reread it gosh my friend is reading it now our of my and bestie's honest recommendations and there's SO MANY SCENES#I sincerely forgot existing#I HAVE TO.#also the way everyone is still laughing about Nathaniel's jealous wife PG era is so dear to me something is forever something just stays#empiers might die and fall and the rise again and there will be bartseq fandom laughing about “man or woman” and think he rather knew anyway#all of this tied with clever political analysis and eternal love for Kitty Jones of course#How can I post about hmc and bartseq in the same time...and maybe some Macbeth poems If you may#cause I really want to#bartimaeus trilogy#bartimaeus sequence
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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binged both chalice of the gods and the hidden oracle in the last few days and tbh i don't care if zeus would blast me to bits, if he were real it would be on sight
#percy jackson#pjo#pjo toa#pjo cotg#chalice in particular was so full of whiplash for me#bc the percy side of it was v cute#but i KNEW it was going to end with ganymede still being stuck with his abuser#that final scene where percy is listening in on the brunch#and zeus is telling the stupid story and you know EVERYONE in that room is afraid of him#(except /maybe/ rhea?)#and then he makes the little 'love to watch him leave' comment 🤢#or like. ganymede convinced that he has so many enemies#but both hebe and iris are like 'ganymede is in the worst position i wouldn't go back if you paid me'#and the guy who actually stole it is doing it in protest of immortality and doesn't have any opinion on ganymede as an individual#but why does ganymede think that? bc nobody would ever lift a finger to help him#bc even the ones who don't hate him are too scared of zeus#and then there's apollo who has way more power but zeus can still ruin him at any moment just to displace blame from himself#if there was a final phase of pjo where everyone unionizes to overthrow zeus and chuck him in tartarus i would be THRILLED
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so ever since I found out that buffy's stint in the mental hospital was actually canon and not just very common fanon I've had this idea about a killed by death au
they should've made it about buffy's trauma from the pysch ward!! can you imagine how much more fun that would be instead of inventing a random cousin that never matters before or after? a bit of more relevant backstory mixed in with some wonderful dramatics
like buffy is still sick, and she still cries about having to slay vampires before being sedated, but afterwards joyce is all like oh not this again. and the scoobies are like ?? so joyce goes on to explain like sighing she used to talk about vampires before we moved to sunnydale, but I thought we'd moved past that or whatever. then the gang are all eyeing each other like so why did buffy stop? and why didn't/doesn't joyce believe her if buffy's talked about all of this before?
I don't think joyce would actually fully open up to why buffy hates hospitals. a vague she's had some bad experiences with them would probably suffice or smth like that. I doubt she's proud to have had her daughter in a mental ward y'know wouldn't wanna share that around both for her and buffy's sakes
and instead of seeing that weird ass gross monster she sees. well. okay this is pretty much normal again but in s2. admittedly I hadn't seen that episode before I had this idea, so... oops?
but okay for like the main conflict of the episode, instead of the monster, there's all these kids that have been put away being called crazy for the stuff they've seen that's messed them up. and then for the falling action, it can have buffy realize or prove or whatever that none of the kids are crazy, it's that they've seen the dark side of sunnydale and no one is believing them. just like what she went through originally. give her some catharsis helping other people
honestly I think it'd just be more interesting if we're going to have a hospital episode like that! and more impactful as we get to learn a bit more buffy's time before sunnydale, as well as why buffy is so much more cautious with the slaying stuff around her mom when otherwise she usually has a good relationship with her. plus, the coming out scene where her identity is finally revealed would I think be extra tense with that added context of how her mom took it the first time
#idr if she was like FULLY in a hospital or just a ward so I used both words#but like c'mon! ever since I knew about that though I always thought that would've been a fun au for this episode#despite what I think is like a duh moment I've never actually seen anyone do this#and hey maybe I'm just not looking hard enough#but if anyone would like to flesh this idea out more like pleaseee feel free to do so cause it'd be so interesting I think#good angst with a side of comfort since everyone is still close in s2 LOL#buffy summers#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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Q: If, like Kiss did, The Strokes released simultaneous solo albums, what would they be like? Julian: “I’d like to collaborate on them, but they probably wouldn’t let me near them. Fab’s would be kinda gothic, a lot of classical-type instrumentation – like low-pitched choirs in the background, keyboards, and his voice would have a lot of reverb on it. Albert would have the most Strokes-style solo record, with lots of funny disjointed riffs, and the theme would be love and relationships. Nick would have a Motley Crew-meets-Blur record with high-pitched [imitates Bruce Dickenson yowl] ‘Waaaaaah’ vocals. Nikolai would have an indie, chilled out, [laughs] bass-driven album.”
— the strokes for q magazine, april 2002 / wr. danny eccleston (x)
fab: knots - machinegum (2019)
albert: caught by my shadow - ahj (2015)
nick: walls - crx (2016)
nikolai: burnin_up - summer moon (2023)
#bands#the strokes#julian casablancas#iti era#q magazine#interviews#it's the fact that he's fucking right#clawing at the walls oh god he always knew them they always knew each other no matter what happened and how they changed they really#did love and know one another down to their bones#so much time's passed since he gave that interview and yet.#i picked ones that werent from the 2000s on purpose just bc it kinda hurt more to know that even tho theyve diverged so much some things#still hold true#maybe the descriptions dont fit to a t but i feel like the vibes are there#or maybe im just insane. let me know!#also but they probably wouldnt let me near them. hahahaha. stake through my heart.#smth smth angles and phrazes era interviews talking abt how everyone was reluctant to bring ideas to the table for some reason until after#theyd done their solo shit#man#doomed polyamory.
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