#maybe bipolar

[tanksarefluffy]

It really sucks when no ones there for you during your depressive episode for completely valid reasons, cuz like i’m not allowed to feel mad that everyone was asleep or way too tired or simply didn’t see my message but i still feel so defeated and worthless

[ohposhers]

little bit of BP2 humor fo today that i had made to cope smh

[maybefalsefacts]

Bipolar!Wade

for @ramblingautisticman

Nobody realizes Wade is bipolar because they only ever see him manic. Most people think he just has ADHD because he's always hyper-fixated or bouncing off the walls.

He spends all of his money at once. He goes on a killing spree. He has sex with everyone in a ten-mile radius. He uses his fists instead of his guns or katanas. He never stops talking. He literally bounces.

To them, that's just who Wade is.

But there are also times when 'Wade's job takes him out of town', or he 'goes underground for a few days'.

Except. It doesn't.

Wade goes radio silent when he's depressed. He sleeps on the floor of his closet or under the bed. He does an ungodly amount of coke and pepsi. He doesn't say a word. He sits on the floor of the tub and takes long showers. He doesn't move at all for days at a time.

The only people who know are Al, Vanessa, and Weasel.

And now Logan.

The depressive episodes are hard to anticipate and ever harder to prepare for. Especially since they don't always start the same.

Sometimes it's a comment here or there. Sometimes it's an extra long shower. Sometimes there's no warning and he just disappears out of nowhere.

At first, it's a relief. The 'too much too much too much' pressure of being manic finally bursts, and he gets a few minutes-hours-days of clarity. Wade feels like a real person with real emotions and real thoughts.

But the feelings just keep bleeding out until he's empty. Until all that's left are the voices in his head, telling him how worthless and pathetic and disgusting he is.

So he lays on the floor, in the tub, in the alley of whatever building he jumped off of, until the hole draining his emotions seals itself back up like the rest of him. Until his emotions start refilling and he no longer feels quite so empty.

And maybe he'll have a few days-hours-minutes to enjoy being dehydrated and starving. Maybe he'll be conscious when the pain/shame hit.

Maybe he'll spiral right back down into a depression. Maybe the anger will kick in and he'll bubble right back up into mania.

Not even Marvel H. Christ knows.

[skelespidey]

"mental health matters" until someone who has a suspected but not diagnosed disorder shows signs of the disorder.

[ranna-alga]

One thing I am absolutely never normal about is the psychology of characters in media I am also not normal about and how it's portrayed, what mental conditions they may have based on the symptoms they exhibit, etc, especially if it's impactful to their character and the story. I find it very intriguing to them, not just as characters, but as people.

With that said, I just got into RDR2 (five years late, I know) and man... Dutch Van der Linde I am going to grab you by the collar and toss you onto my inspection table and microscope, you are a whole ass STUDY!!!

[klarolinexluv]

Bipolar James has my whole heart. James just asking for Barty, gods my heart. Like… Bipolar Barty having a better understanding of himself, and James just needing him because Barty understands. AGHHHHHHHH- sorry.

[roabythecow]

[econeechan]

Psychiatrist told me today that maybe I'm bipolar. I think that would explain a lot! I hope these new instructions he gave me work out fine! ^^

[disabled-is-not-a-dirty-word]

Went to my cardiologist recently, and he asked why I'm not taking my psych meds anymore. I told him that I haven't been having episodes since he started treating me for POTS, and he was like "oh that makes sense. The chronic lack of blood flow to the brain can cause mood swings that mimic bipolar disorder." HELLO??? EXCUSE ME??? I'm going back through the patterns of all of my episodes, and it suddenly makes sense why psych meds never worked, but I would suddenly come out of an episode with bedrest. Wtf. What the actual fuck. I feel like that one Lisa Simpson meme.

[lususnatura]

▲

needless to say, whenever harley came over to blamore's greenhouse that day, things really weren't going that well for him. the last week or so had gone by in a complete haze for him. and it had all but forgotten that it had obligations to fulfill today. one of these actually was a meeting he'd set up with harley, which he seemed really excited about a few weeks ago whenever they originally planned it. but something had happened since then that drove blamore to the point where he physically felt like he was unable to get out of bed... along with it vastly neglecting the health of its own plants, as well as just itself in general.

some of the creature's plants were starving for water to the point where they'd become wilted in fact. plus, blamore's own body besides that had been plagued with hunger pangs that only got worse as time went on. though he was seemingly so depressed at the time that neither of these things mattered to him. now, in response to the sound of a gentle 'pitter-patter' of steps heading his way, blamore stirred for the first time in a little while. its eyes opened as its tail lethargically swept over the sheets it laid on to this 'intruder' and tried to lift itself up; but failed as a result of its lack of energy.

blamore then thought about making the thorns inside of his legs surface, but stopped as soon as he felt himself being pulled into this person's lap. a barely audible hum left its lips as bleary eyes partially focused on harley's face, ❝ mm, what? what are you doing here? ❞ blamore could hardly keep his eyes open as all he'd been doing lately after he'd ran out of tears was sleep. its breath hitched as its head lolled to the side to rest against harley's shoulder. ❝ god's... you're so warm. i'm sorry, can i just — ❞ blamore let out a mix between a chuckle and a sob. ❝ can we just stay like this for a little while? ❞

[september-poetry]

the life of a sacrificial lamb

you crave the beginning

to learn how to feel again

to bruise

to burn

to birth anew from worn flesh

punch a wall to feel sane

the bloodied knuckles stain your face

jaws break in tandem

dislocated through tenderness

realigned from a smile

the pain an old friend

your teeth rot as you look back at the person you were before

it was always going to end this way

taunt another lover to leave them bare

the butcher to their lamb

there is softness to suffocation

intimate in their slaughter

choke yourself to feel their touch again

as your body lays there

there is comfort in decomposition

slowly as you feel your flesh become bone

you know that you are alive

the end will begin again

05 / 08 / 24

[faithfromanewperspective]

what’s there not to understand about hypomania? you know when you get overtired, and like a toddler, you get all hyperactive and also want to cry or do Every Fun Thing you can think of and it actually becomes harder to sleep? like as a result of too much overwhelm or being so emotionally exhausted that’s how your body makes you able to cope, the aftereffects of too much adrenaline? just imagine being stuck like that. and every day it triggers itself more, overload of emotional whiplash and energy and you’ve lost all ability to think rationally and you can do anything at this point, because why not? you’ve got nothing left in you to hold back on any idea that could be exciting and stop you from falling into the void where the wiredness you feel has nothing to latch onto to burn off that nervous energy in a positive way, emotionally. for days or weeks or months on end. you don’t need to have ever experienced this fully to extrapolate and be like. yeah. I can see how it would suck eventually to get stuck like that

[seeingteacupsindragons]

Okay, Tumblr writers.

We all know how many, even most, of us periodically get maudlin about our work and our skills as writers and whether or not anyone even likes our work and what they like about it and whatever.

I am trying very hard to be less maudlin all over other people all the time, especially on social media.

So what are y'all's coping mechanisms for these periods? I'm in need.

[darklight-owl]

You know I like a band when I start actually looking into them instead of just listening to the same 10 songs over and over again

[sentimentalslut]

is this a manic episode or am i just in a Good Mood

[the-labyrinth-of-me]

Saga: "Alan Wake, a handsome writer in his 40s, with muscles of steel and a member that's 9 inches when erect"

Alan, snatching the manuscript page from her hand: You were not supposed to read that.