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chappellroansdreamgirl · 8 months ago

Text

good luck, babe! [e.w x fem!reader.]

chapter one.

author's note!<3 - this is inspired by chappell roan's unreleased song good luck, babe! i lllloooovveee chappell roan! this was originally going to be just a LONG ASS one-shot but i don't think i can write any more tonight 😭😭 . BUT I REALLY WANNA PUBLISH IT SO HOPEFULLY YOU GUYS LIKE IT!!!! also forgive me if there's any grammar/spelling errors... i'm posting this at 12:59 am🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶 . reblogs and comments are SO appreciated!!! i busted my ass for y'all 🤗 .

content warnings - SLIGHT angst, reader has internalized homophobia and is outright homophobic to ellie, reader is in the closet, ellie is a lovergirl and she's going through the five stages of grief, modern!au, reader gets sexually assaulted/harrassed, LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING ELSE!!!!

special thanks to!!!!: @sharkfemme and @dykedearest FOR HELPING ME OUT!!!!!! and also LYNN AND MAXIM!!! ALL FOUR OF YOU ARE AMAZING BETA READERS I'M KISSING YOU ALL THROUGH THE PHONE RN!!!

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it's fine, it's cool.

ellie's grip on her glass got impossibly tighter as her eyes never left your figure, your body swaying to whatever shitty mainstream pop music that was playing.

ellie williams hated secrets. she hated surprises, and she hated being in love with you.

she hated the way you would ghost her after spending a week at her apartment. she hated the way you would stop responding to her texts after you would leave. she hated the way she would let you back in when you needed her, she hated how much she loved to comfort you. she hated how gentle you were when it was just the two of you, compared to how cruel you got in public.

you can say that we ain't nothin' when you know the truth.

ellie took her hand off the glass and gripped the bar table instead, afraid that if she broke another glass she'd be banned from the bar.

you were like forbidden fruit to her, or maybe that was what she was to you.

she knew you weren't ready to come out of the closet. she understood that. so, why keep on playing this fucking game with her?

why did she even still feed into it?

i guess i'm, the fool.

the closet was made out of glass, really. you would stare at every woman's body that passed you, your eyes would scan up their short dress, she could see the curiosity and desire in your face.

but every single time after you two would hook up, there was always a new excuse.

"i'm not a fucking lesbian, ellie. i just... don't like men sometimes." sometimes?

"they're just stupid thoughts... it's not like i could ever be with a woman." but you had been. you had been with her.

"ok but... do you even count as a woman? you wear boxers, you don't even know the meaning of the term ladylike and... i don't know- look at your fuckin' hair! the closest you'd get is a transwoman." that one had hurt her. she didn't talk to you for a month after you made that comment. and then you appeared in her apartment complex hallway, sobbing hysterically.

and of course, she took you back.

like she always does.

with her arms out like an angel, through the car sun-roof.

she hated playing this fucking game with you. it was killing her.

every single time she'd see you at this bar, she imagined you dragging her onto the dancefloor. she imagined being able to walk out with your hand in her's, waking up to your groggy groans when the sun invaded the sacred space of your shared bedroom, you'd hide your face in her neck, mumbling something about, "shouldn't have drank that much last night."

every single time you pulled this shit on her, it felt like her already shattered heart broke off into impossibly tinier pieces.

"i wish you were a boy." crack.

"it's not easy for me like it is for you, els. i don't know the first thing about being proud of myself." crack.

"this hurts me more than you, baby." shattered. her heart was shattered.

it hurts you more than her?

the fucking audacity.

the nights she spent crying next to your sleeping figure.

the hours she'd spent texting you and checking her phone second after second after goddamn second.

the way she would ignore every single obligation she had to pick you up from whatever shit-hole situation you had found yourself in, immediately and happily dropping anything to make sure you were ok.

and it hurt you more than it hurt her?

you didn't know shit about hurt. about misery. about love.

i don't wanna cut it off!

her friends had told her to cut you off. her therapist said in his own professional shrink way that you would never be good for her. at least not while you weren't even good for yourself.

but she couldn't let you go. it seemed like every reason that she had to leave you, fuelled her determination to stay.

but you don't wanna call it love!

every single time you somehow broke her heart in a new way, she fell harder in love with you.

you just wanna love someone that calls you baby!-

ellie was pulled out of her internal anger when your eyes met hers. although it was only a few seconds ago, it felt like she was staring into your eyes for an eternity.

don't fuckin' wave, ellie. look away- LOOK AWAY. , she thought to herself as she was unable to look away from your beautiful irises.

you had this slight smile on your face, the dancefloor's led lights adding a shimmer to your already twinkling eyes.

it felt like her melancholy thoughts had lifted and increased all at the same time by the sight of you acknowledging her presence.

ellie went against her better judgement, her slender hand flying up to wave at you. her lips quirked upwards gently as she scanned your delighted face.

your light expression quickly turned into one of frustration, suppressing your grin with a tightening of your lips before pulling the nearest man close to you in for an unexpected kiss, opening your eyes once you knew the mystery man's were closed, locking your eyes onto ellie's before closing them once more.

the light had died in ellie's stomach after that. her happy hand that was raised in the air faltered painfully back to her side as she watched the man's hands roam down from your sides... to your waist... to your ass.

you can kiss a hundred boys in bars,

those butterflies that she had just felt in her tummy had died slowly, turning into knots of anguish.

she watched your hands cradle the man's face. those same hands that had counted each and every freckle on her face on a snowy morning that had you both stranded in her apartment.

those same hands that had a death-grip on her back as you sobbed into her shoulder every other weeknight as she tried to muffle her own cries.

those same hands that had shoved her violently as she finally tried to stand her ground one afternoon you showed up knocking on her door. "you know what... fuck you, ellie! i don't know why i keep on doing this shit with you anyways." you said, before storming off. you called her later that night. she answered. "i'm sorry, els. i'm sorry, i'll do better, i'm so sorry-" , "it's ok, baby. it's ok. i know you didn't mean it. you're ok baby, i forgive you."

shoot another shot, try to stop the feeling!

she would've stayed in that seat, stewed in her anger for a bit more before the tears inevitably came falling down if it wasn't for the way the dude's hands creeped under your skin-tight jeans and how you flinched away from his grasp, breaking the kiss immediately with a nervous giggle creeping up.

the guy obviously took it as an invitation to do more, placing his hand back on your waist and agressively pulling you closer.

you can say it's just the way you are,

ellie's head tilted as she watched this go down.

what she wanted to do was launch that creep into the nearest wall and make sure he never tainted your body again. but she didn't want to get up too soon, she wanted to be certain that you needed help, whether you wanted it or not.

your hand stopped him from coming any closer, placing it right before his chest. you said something along the lines of, "don't want to do anything." .

make a new excuse, another stupid reason-

instead of him being a decent human being and leaving you alone, his face quickly turned into one of anger. his jaw jutted out as he tried to pull you in again, leaving you thrashing against his body.

how was no one else seeing this? why was no one else doing anything?!

she didn't even have time to process what she was about to do. her feet were on the ground, marching their way towards you before she could even think about her course of action in a smart way.

"let me go, fuckin' creep!" she heard you shriek as she grew closer to you, attempting to elbow him in the chest.

ellie felt like no matter how fast she was walking, she would never make it to you in time.

he laughed tauntingly as he grinded against. "i'm the creep, bitch?! you kissed me f-"

his last word was stolen from him as ellie forcefully pushed him off you with and landed a blow against his nose.

he groaned in pain, falling to the ground as he cradled his now-broken-nose.

you gasped in shock and horror. "what the fuck, ellie?!" you scolded her. as if you would've been fine on your own.

she ignored your words though, pulling the guy's hand away as she forced another punch to his face.

now people were finally looking.

she didn't stop until she felt your hands on her stomach, pulling her away from the scene.

"she fuckin'... said... no!..." ellie's voice thundered, erratic breaths in between her words before bringing one last painful kick to his face before letting you lead her out of the bar and into the night air.

you didn't stop even after you two were at the entrance door of the establishment, you made sure the two of you were far enough away that ellie wouldn't be caught if the police were called.

she couldn't help but feel those stupid fucking butterflies again as your hand gripped hers and felt a little disappointed when you dropped it, suddenly all too aware that you were still in public.

her green eyes met your own, yours filled with anger and chaos... hers filled with love.

"hey, swan." the auburnette sighed out simply, that stupid love-grin back on her face as she was finally close to you.

your eyebrows furrowed in disbelief as your hands went to massage your temples. you let out a humorless giggle. "you're so... fucking stupid, ellie!" you exclaimed, shoving her chest as if she was in the wrong.

her grin turned into a confused frown as she surrendered her hands in the air, her eyebrows mirroring your own now. "wh-wh....what-"

good luck, babe!

"god, you have this severe goddamn saviour complex or some shit!... i was fine! i was fucking fine on my own before you marched in and assaulted that guy."

well good luck, babe!

you gaslighted beautifully, defending the man you knew nothing about over the woman who was fatally in love with you, she almost believed you.

ellie's frown turned into an angry smile as she brought a hand to gently wipe over the bridge of her nose, a mannerism of her's she had developed whenever she got frustrated with you.

"assau-... ok, sure-... you wanna talk about assault, baby? that fuckin' guy would've assaulted you if i didn't step in. he was assaul-"

you shut your eyes tightly the way you do when you wanted to block something out that ellie was obviously right about. you shook your head stubbornly. "gggoddd ellie- it was my fault! i wanted it and then i didn't. i shouldn't have- i shouldn't have kissed him in the first place. i gave him mixed signals, i-"

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling!-

your eyebrows grew dangerously closer to your face as you cradled your head in your hands.

ellie was quick to walk right back to you, caressing your arms.

"what? baby, no. no, it's not your fault... that- that fuckin' guy... hey... look at me, sweetheart." she cooed lovingly.

good luck, babe!

you slowly brought your hands away from your face, meeting her breathtaking green eyes.

you wanted to fall into her arms, you wanted to thank her for coming to your rescue and kiss her and confess to her how scared you truly were.

but you didn't. you never did.

your slightly calm expression that came over you once you met your secret lover's gaze turned into one of annoyance. ellie was, like always, taken by surprise as you thrashed against her grip, just like the way you did with that monster in the bar.

good luck, babe!

ellie's eyes blurred with tears as she watched your face turn into a grimace.

"fuck you, ellie." you said quietly as you broke free from her hands, storming off into the night. leaving her. like always.

you'd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling.

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sparkypantaloons · 1 year ago

Text

Down to Dust

It's not the warehouse that Jason has nightmares about. It's Bruce. Bruce deciding to cremate him instead of bury him. Because if he had, what would Jason be now? An infinite number of pieces, cast into the wind. Smoke hanging in the air and never whole or home again, part of him always missing.

The thought is terrifying.

When Jason gets back to the Cave he still smells of smoke. There’s ash and dust on his skin. Under his nails and on his tongue. But it’s the smell of the smoke, the memory of the burn, that bothers him the most. It clings to him, heavy and possessive, an unwanted touch.

When he showers the water runs black, soot and dirt and sweat washed away under the cold spray. But the smell of smoke escaping his hair is what makes him baulk.

He spits into the drain. Tries to force down the tide of nausea that rises in his throat. Applies the third round of shampoo to his head, does his best to scrub away the stench.

When he leaves the showers, Batman and the two Robin’s are still there. Bruce sits at the computer, cowl still on. He doesn’t look at Jason. “No claim on who started the fires.”

Damian clicks his tongue. “Firefly is still in Arkham. And Lynn has never commanded enough respect to have anyone work on his behalf.”

“Here.” Tim says, approaching Jason. He hands him a rebreather. “Clean oxygen. For the smoke inhalation.”

Jason takes it without a word, fits it to his face, with hands he has trained not to shake. The smell of smoke in the Cave is thick as smog. The capes. The stench always clung to his cape when he was Robin. It never bothered him before.

“Jason?” Bruce is in front of him, the cowl is down. A hand is on Jason’s shoulder. “I’d like Alfred to take a look at you.” He says. A request, even if it’s not a question.

Jason can only focus on Batman’s cape. On the gauntleted hand on his shoulder and the smoke that emanates off of them. It seeks him out, pushes at the seal of the rebreather and forces its way back into his throat, down into his lungs. Into his blood and his organs and—

He shrugs Bruce’s hand off. “I’m fine.” He grunts. And he pushes past the older man for his bike. Leaves the Cave without a word.

It’s started to rain, but Jason still races through Gotham fast as he dares. He has no interest in dying again, and he’s never been as reckless as the others think. But he needs the smoke off him. Needs to escape what the shower couldn’t remove. He pushes the bike as fast as feels safe in the spray. Imagines the smoke trailing behind him, falling away as he crosses the Trigate bridge, and losing him completely as he turns towards Crime Alley.

The charred remains of the old Park Row department store, Kilmer & Sons, still smoulder. Smoke and steam rises in the rain, but Jason keeps his distance. Outside the grocery store that had opened in the old emporium, the staff are picking through the debris. Jason wonders idly if his favourite bag is still in there, the old satchel Alfred had given him, years ago now. Filled with the cindered remains of his would-be dinner.

He turns away from the wreckage, heads to his apartment across the district. He doesn’t feel much like eating now.

Fires continue across the city and neither the GCPD nor the Bats have any lead on who or why its happening.

To begin with, Jason goes about his business. The chances of being caught in an arson attack more than once, even in his line of work, seem slim. But when the movie theatre he’s got tickets for goes up in flames in front of his eyes, he starts thinking maybe it’s time to get out of Gotham.

Except then the airport terminal is next.

And then the train station.

The docks. The baseball stadium. One of the hospitals. The central court house. The GCPD station in Coventry and three of the restaurants Bruce owns in Bristol.

Gotham is burning, and smoke hangs in the air.

Jason begins to have nightmares. He hasn’t left his apartment in two weeks. Is rationing the emergency supplies, because the fires are still happening and he can’t go outside. Not when there’s smoke and flame everywhere. Ash falling like rain and soot covering everything.

He spends his mornings stuffing wet rags into every gap - visible or not - where the smoke could get in. Around his windows and beneath his door. Down the plugholes and over the faucets. He seals all of the empty power sockets, and foam packs around the plugs in the rest. The vents are padded full with damp bedsheets, the best he can do whilst locked inside, and he tests every inch of his floor. Eyes the gaps between the floorboards and stuffs with socks any that look like they’re getting too big.

In the afternoons he watches through the window as the City turns grey. Checks and double checks on his efforts to vacuum seal his apartment. Meticulously counts how many rebreathers he has, how many helmets and how much oxygen. Agonises over whether that is smoke he can smell or if he just thinks it is.

At night, the sky glows with the latest burn. Sirens echoing around Gotham more than they ever have before. When he closes his eyes, he wonders if he’ll wake to a City at all, and when he sleeps, that is when the nightmares come.

It’s not the explosion at the warehouse. It never is, never has been. His brain was so swollen when the bomb went off that he’d barely known what was happening. Not least that the explosion killed him so instantly he’d never have known it anyway.

It’s not the pit either, which burned but in a different way. Which stank of flame and fire but not of smoke.

Instead it’s Bruce. Always Bruce. Bruce looking at Jason’s small and broken body, and deciding to cremate him instead of bury him.

Of dressing him in his finest suit, a copy of Treasure Island in the pocket and picture of his mom in his hand. Of the soft, silk cushion of the casket, and the white hot flame of the incinerator.

It’s Bruce, scattering Jason’s ashes into the wind. Over the ocean, or up in the Rockies. Across the city from his favourite gargoyle, or into the sky with Clark.

Bruce, thinking he’s done right by his son, and Jason coming back to life an infinite tiny pieces. Searching desperately for all of himself, flung without care into the atmosphere. Never whole and never home again.

Sometimes in the nightmares, Bruce scatters his ashes at the Manor. And when he comes back, near most of Jason is there, but not enough. The rest of him taken into the earth and the plants and the trees. Eaten by animals and insects and birds.

When he comes back there isn’t enough of him to open the door to the Manor. To call out to Bruce. He’s a shifting mass of black and grey, ash and soot, fighting the wind. On a still day Bruce might see the curve of his cheek, the line of his back. But then the breeze will send him sailing again, and his dad will blink and think he’s a trick of the light.

In the nightmares he is little more than smoke hanging in the air. Unable to speak or cry or touch. Barely there enough to hear or see or taste. Just the all consuming smell of burning. Never whole and Bruce always out of reach.

He’s been inside three weeks now and his clothes have long started to feel loose.

He doesn’t know what the latest with the fires is, only that the air is still grey and the soot on his window ledge still thick. That the city still glows at night and the siren song never stops.

He hasn’t caught the news in days and no longer has his comm. The smoke was starting to come through his electrical sockets so he had to fill them with plaster. He’d listen to the radio but what if smoke could travel through the radio waves? His comms were dangerous too, what if the smoke learned to travel through digital signals, through the internet?

Much safer to stay inside and wait it out.

He hasn’t washed in weeks. The plugs are all blocked and he worries about smoke coming through the shower head. He limits himself to using the toilet once a day, carefully disassembling and reassembling the complicated vacuum proofing he has made around the bowl and the cistern and the pipes.

He’s started sleeping in his Hood, never longer than two hours at a time. Slows his breathing right down, so as to preserve rations. Breathes the clean air for two hours, in case the smoke gets in whilst he sleeps. When awake he stands vigil at the window. Strains his ears and his eyes for the inevitable moment his building is the one to burn and watches the smoke push at the window.

It’s not that the smoke scares him. That it is him, is what scares him.

Because what if Bruce had cremated him after all, but had buried his ashes in the casket? Bruce was Jewish but Jason wasn’t, and what if Jason had come back as his cremated remains? Somehow held together by rage and grit, but not as alive as he thinks he is? Because if he did, then the smoke might pull him apart again. Might make him remember that he isn’t whole after all, but just dust and ash playing pretend. The smoke would get between the particles that make him whole, find its way inside of him and force him apart, send him tumbling into the wind.

He can’t risk it. He can’t. He doesn’t want to die again. He won’t die again. Not yet.

At night the city still burns and the ash on the window ledge grows thicker still.

Jason is running out of oxygen. He spends large swathes of the day in a near catatonic state, breathing and heart rate as low as he can take them. Whatever he needs to do to preserve the oxygen. Escape the smoke.

His food is almost out, but he’s been hungry before. His water is low, but he can live with thirst.

His hair is lank and unkempt. His beard patchy and thin with stress. His nails long and brittle. His limbs weak.

He breathes in, he breathes out, and waits for the fires to stop.

Bruce comes for him. Forces his way into the apartment and undoes all of Jason’s hard work.

Bruce fills the doorway, eyes raking across the room. The socks between the floorboards, and bedsheets in the vents. The rags in the window frame and the sealed up plugs and sockets and taps. His son, small and frail and weak.

Jason looks at him with horror. Watches the smoke that rushes past Bruce into the room, long tendrils of ash in the air, reaching for the particles that hold Jason together.

“No—” He begs, but he’s too weak for it to be more than a whimper. "No—" He cries, but it's too quiet to be heard beyond the mask.

The smoke is on his skin, it’s reaching up his nose and into his ears. It’s inside of him, ripping him apart, tearing him atom from atom, until he’s nothing more than ash and soot in Bruce’s hands.

Jason wakes to a cool breeze on his face. The sound of bird song in the air and the smell of freshly cut grass.

He’s in the Manor, one of the guest rooms in the south wing, facing away from the city.

Bruce is sat by the open window, pretending to read a newspaper.

“B—” Jason’s voice is scratchy and dry, unused for nearly a month.

Bruce is at his side in an instant, a warm hand in Jason’s hair. “Careful.” He says softly. “You’re running on fumes lad.”

Jason winces at the suggestion, but the panic he expects to feel is muted. Dulled by the sweet air and Bruce’s presence. The older man gives him some ice chips to soothe his throat, moves his hand to Jason’s.

“Fear toxin.” Bruce says gently, reading the look on Jason’s face. “A new strain. You got hit good, kiddo.”

Jason frowns, tries to remember. “The fires—” he whispers.

“There were only three.” Bruce tells him. “Designed to disseminate the toxin. Best we can work out you got hit twice, pretty hard. First at the old bodega and then at the movies.”

Jason frowns, confused. “Only three?” He croaks. “The city was burning for weeks.”

Bruce shakes his head sadly, opens his mouth to reply, but Jason cuts him off.

“There was ash on my windows three inches thick.”

“It was the toxin, lad.” Bruce says gently. “It’s trigger based. Whatever initiates the first fear response just grows and grows. Delusions and hallucinations become all consuming. When we found you—” Bruce stops abruptly and looks away for a moment. “When we found you, you’d… well you were in a bad way.”

Jason sinks into the bed. The idea that he’d been so thoroughly manipulated by the toxin like ash on his tongue.

“How long—”? He asks.

For the first time Bruce looks uncomfortable, withdraws his hand from Jason’s. “You’ve been in and out of it for a few days.” He says. “But the toxin was in your system for a few weeks.” He pauses. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come.”

Jason doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t say anything.

“I’m—” Bruce is struggling to get his words out again. “I’m sorry you had to relive that, Jason. The warehouse.”

Jason blinks, confused. “The warehouse?”

“I— isn’t that... I just assumed...” Bruce mumbles.

Jason shakes his head. “No, I—” He takes a deep breath. “The smoke just makes me... What if you’d cremated me?” His voice is almost a whisper. “It’s not just the toxin, I just… I always wonder, what if…”

Bruce doesn’t have an answer to that. Instead he takes Jason’s hand again, squeezes it tight.

Jason squeezes back, relishes for the moment at least, that he is whole and solid home. He takes a deep breath as the breeze blows through the window, cool and sweet and fresh.

#spbfic #batfam #batfam fic #jason todd #batfic #batfamily #bruce wayne #batdad #batfamily fanfic #batman

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bottlesofrouge · 8 months ago

Text

on one condition.

harry styles x original character

part two.

word count: 8.5K

13 JUNE 2018

jackie: why is my sex crazed neighbor standing at my door asking for you

jackie: i think he has gifts????

14 JUNE 2018

lynn never replies to jackie.

it’s not that she doesn’t care, she just… doesn’t care. why should she accept whatever stupid, empty apology harry’s going to offer her. he wasn’t really sorry, she knew that. she also knew that she really wasn’t angry with him.

she lets things build and build until she finally reaches her breaking point, and unfortunately for harry, he was on the receiving end of one of those snaps. there was nothing more to it.

(she is a little curious as to what his gift was)

“lynn,” jane calls for her attention. the girl was sitting in front of her at one of those stone picnic tables at the park. she has melted ice cream running down her chin, and her hands were covered in stickiness, but god, lynn couldn’t love her any more.

“hmm?” lynn hums, reaching to wipe her messy face before the ice cream has a chance to pool on her shirt.

“i’m just happy you’re here,” she grins at the older girl, and lynn’s heart melts just like the ice cream.

amelia’s dance camp ran later than jane’s today, so lynn decided to take her to the park just because it was easier for her. they wouldn’t have to go all the way home, and jane could entertain herself. but, then they passed the ice cream shop on the corner, and lynn couldn’t say no to her sister’s puppy dog eyes.

so, then they were inside. jane ordered mint chip in a bowl because it was green, and green’s her favorite color. lynn asked for chocolate with rainbow sprinkles on a sugar cone.

they weren't outside for more than two seconds when jane decided she doesn’t like mint after all.

“you can spend the night at my place if you want to tonight.” lynn offers, and she sees the younger girl’s face light up.

“yes! yes!,” she chants, and lynn reminds her to lick her ice cream cone.

✮✮✮

jane, amelia, and lynn are laying in lynn’s bed, watching a random movie that amelia had chosen. growing up, the two of them could never agree on what to watch. ninety nine percent of the time it was because they were all nearly a decade apart (lynn was twelve years older than amelia and twenty two years older than jane). and the other one percent was because amelia just liked causing problems.

but, amelia was older now which meant they could watch more mature movies while jane slept soundly next to them (which is exactly what is happening right now). they were surrounded by tons of blanket and pillows, and more popcorn crumbs and kernels than lynn would like.

honestly, deep down, she didn’t really care. her sisters could turn her apartment upside down and she would happily clean up after them because (most of the time) it meant they were having fun. and she wanted her sisters to have the fun, care-free childhood she didn’t get.

silas: i’m home. i know you must have been worried sick about me since i left.

lynn: you spent a singular night at the airport... did you want me to send a card?

silas: flowers would be appreciated as well

lynn: im glad you got home safe, silas. you know that.

silas: i know, lynn. what are you up to?

silas: besides ignoring jackie.

“amelia, take a picture with me,” her sister leans in the frame and sticks her tongue out. “its for silas.” the middle sister only hums before turning her attention back to the movie.

lynn: attachment: 1 image

silas: pretty girls

lynn: too sweet silas

lynn: im not ignoring jackie im ignoring her neighbor

silas: she said he was hot

lynn: she thought chad was the epitome of hot

silas: fair

“can you maybe turn the ringer off?” amelia’s eyes are still on the television as she speaks.

“yeah, sorry,” she turns the ringer off, and slides her phone away from them. “i wanted to spend time with you tonight anyways. i feel like i never see you.”

“im growing up,” amelia rolls her eyes. “it’s not like i died.”

“i was just saying i missed you.”

and it was true. lynn felt like she rarely saw amelia (besides when she was busy driving her to whatever extracurriculars she was participating in at the moment). she was always out with friends when lynn stopped by for dinner, and really, amelia just didn’t come around as much as jane did.

amelia doesn’t say anything, and the moment’s passed so lynn lets it go, and turns her attention back to the movie. no one speaks again until amelia offers to watch jane in the morning so lynn can attend her hot yoga class.

15 JUNE 2018

"you really didn't have to do this," her finger's tracing the rim of her mug as she speaks. "i said it was fine."

"i know," harry replies. "but i wanted to."

gemma's sitting across from him at some local cafe by her apartment. he missed dinner with her (again) so, now he's up at the crack of dawn (really it was nearing seven in the morning) to make it up to his sister. he didn't necessarily want to be there, but he needed to be. that is if he wanted to save whatever was left of their relationship.

and really, he shouldn't be blamed for missing the dinner. lynn was sleeping in his bed, and he couldn't leave her. what if she woke up and needed something? like a gluten-free beef stew that took fifty-five minutes to make. or maybe a vegan red bean and rice skillet. he definitely didn't spend an hour scouring the internet and his cabinets for an allergen-friendly meal. no, because that would be crazy.

"mom said you were seeing someone," she raises her brow towards her brother, and harry can feel the sweat on his forehead already forming.

"its not anything serious. we're just," he panics and chooses gemma's earlier words. "seeing each other at the moment."

harry doesn't know a lot of things. like why the sky is blue or what the answer to seven thousand times ninety-three is. he doesn't know how wifi works and he doesn't know any other language besides english. but (more importantly) he doesn't know why he told his parents that lynn was his girlfriend.

it slipped out too easily. they were sitting in some restaurant a few days after, and his mom asked about her and he said it. it was supposed to be a joke because they had known each other for mere days, but then he saw the look in her eyes and he couldn't tell her that they didn't exchange more than five words with each other since they left that stupid barbecue.

"well, i'd like to meet her," gemma's grinning at him and it makes him sick to his stomach. "whenever you're serious and not just seeing each other at the moment."

"yeah," he smiles back at her, trying to ignore the bile rising in his throat. "for sure."

maybe he wouldn't be in this mess if he just would've talked to lynn when he ran into her on campus the other day instead of opening his goddamn mouth and letting whatever misogynist bullshit fall from it.

and if that wasn't humiliating enough, showing up at her friend's apartment with chocolates was icing on the cake. her friend (who he now knows as jacqueline) was so incredibly nice, but he probably looked like a complete psychopath. just showing up at a stranger's house... looking for someone that didn't even live there. he hated himself so much.

he looks at his sister for a second and instantly wishes he hadn't. growing up, he always felt like he was looking in a mirror when he looked at her. the two had the same dark brown hair and green eyes. their smiles were a bit lopsided, and their laughs sounded nearly the same.

now, when harry looks at his sister, he sees everything he's missing. gem graduated college at the top of her class, and she earned her spot as a top public relations specialist for a marketing company having only worked there for a year. she's married the love of her life, and they own a house that's close to his parents. gemma's family dinner invitations never get forgotten, and never once has her wedding invitation "gotten lost in the mail". harry's never seen his mom give her that look (except for the time she landed in the county jail), and their dad always, always lets her know just how proud she makes him.

harry wishes he was her sometimes.

the two siblings sat at the table for nearly an hour. she talked about andrew, and his absolute obsession with model trains. harry thought it was rather interesting, but gemma thought it was the hottest thing ever (ew). she filled him in on the extended family drama that she learned about at last month's family dinner, and he doesn't know how to tell her that he'd rather talk about anything else. really, anything. so, he brings up drew's model train collection again.

gemma's running late to work, so harry takes their used mugs to the drop-off station and follows her out of the coffee shop. saying goodbye to his sister was always bittersweet. bitter because he really did love her. she had the kindest soul and cared for him so much. honestly, he rarely saw her, but that was mostly his own doing. they lived thirty minutes apart and most days the drive seemed a bit too much.

saying goodbye was sweet because he felt like he could finally breathe when she was gone. gemma was suffocating in the most motherly way possible.

"i'll come see you," she says with her arms around his neck. "and... what did mom say her name was? lynn?"

there's a hum a few feet away from them and harry opens his eyes to see lynn standing less than two feet away from them.

it's honestly like a scene from a movie, and harry is punching the fucking wall (metaphorically of course) because how could something like this happen in real like. if the two would've said goodbye inside like gemma insisted, this entire thing could've been avoided.

he's staring at her with so much intensity, begging her silently to please not say anything. but, he's harry, and nothing good ever happens to harry.

"wow harry, brown hair and pretty green eyes. you must be really restraining yourself," and in any other situation, he would've laughed because, he'll admit, lynn was funny.

"who's this?" gemma's looking in between them and harry just really wants to die.

"i'm lynn," she reaches out her hand. "and you must be his-"

"my sister!" he interrupts. he pulls his shirt collar away from his neck. when did it get so hot outside? "lynn this is my sister, gemma. gemma, this is lynn."

"oh wow, this is such a great coincidence," gemma's smiling at lynn. "i'm running late, but you two should come over this weekend. drew and i would be happy to cook dinner. it's been so long since harry's had a partner."

lynn looks over the top of her glasses at harry, and she's smiling one of those fake smiles that don't reach her eyes, and fuck, he was done for. he could feel his heart beating all the way in his fingertips, and he's not sure what he's embarrassed more by. the fact that lynn knows he's lied to his sister, or the fact that she just told everyone on the street corner that he hasn't dated anyone in so long.

"actually," lynn says, and that smile is still glued to her face. "harry, why don't you tell her?"

"we were going to invite you to mine this weekend," harry's talking so fast that lynn can't get a word in. "i'll text you, alright? you've got two minutes," harry taps his watch, and gemma's eyes widen. she hugs harry, and yells a goodbye to lynn as she's running into her office building next door.

"your partner," lynn's looking at him with her arms crossed in front of her. "as if i would ever be with someone like you."

"you don't know me, lynn," he rubs his eyes, trying to push whatever tears were threatening to fall back in. because really, he shouldn't be crying, but he was absolutely mortified. maybe if he stood close enough to the edge of the sidewalk, a student driver would clip him. not enough to kill him, but a little amnesia and maybe a light coma would be pleasant.

"look, im sorry, okay? i didn't mean to make you-" his voice cracks and suddenly death by student driver isn't sounding too bad. "i want to talk if you're up for it. we can grab dinner there," he nods his head towards a random restaurant across the street. "maybe tonight at 7? only come if you want. no pressure. i don't even have your phone number so no annoying texts or unwanted phone calls."

he doesn't even wait for her to respond before turning around and feeling the hot, fresh tears slide down his face. he shouldn't be crying. there was no denying that. but, harry hasn't felt this humiliated since his mom held that make-shift intervention. he knows it's a little dramatic, but he would rather drop dead than feel this level of embarrassment ever again.

embarrassment has always been harry's least favorite feeling. his body always went warm, and his face and ears burned so badly, he knew they were hot to the touch. he hated feeling that way because his body was so telling. anyone around him would be able to tell that he was completely humiliated, and that just made him feel horrible.

when he gets back to his apartment, jacqueline is just walking out of hers. if he's quiet enough, he thinks he'll be able to go undetected because the girl always takes the stairs. no matter the time of day or how many bags of groceries she was carrying, jacqueline would never be caught taking the elevator.

except for today, apparently, because as soon as she locks her door, she turns to the right and starts making her way to the elevator.

"hey," she smiles warmly at him. "headed to professor sullivan's class?"

"fuck," harry bangs his head on his door a little too hard before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. how did he manage to forget the singular class he has been attending nearly every day for the last two weeks?

he clears his throat and turns to offer jacqueline a smile, but it comes across in a way that suggests he might be going slightly crazy. "uh, i don't think so. maybe next time."

"are you sure? she has a really strict attendance policy," jacqueline says. honestly, harry hates the idea of taking a journalism class, and he wasn't sure why a fifth one was added into the course study. he was majoring in public relations and to him at least, five journalism classes was overdoing it just a bit. "you can come over and copy my reading notes if you'd like. then, you can drive us so we won't be late."

"are you sure?"

"i really don't want to take the bus if im being honest," harry laughs a little before telling her he'd be right back.

he gets his school bag from the desk in his room, and meets jacqueline in her apartment. the two sit on her couch while harry copies her notes from whatever reading they were supposed to do over night. the girl offers harry coffee, and comes back from her kitchen with a to-go coffee cup filled with the best oat milk latte harry has ever tried.

"thanks again for the notes, jacqueline," harry says, closing his notebook and leaning further back into her couch. the cushions are so soft. he could probably fall asleep right now.

"please, call me jackie. consider the notes a thank you for driving me," she smiles at him, and harry takes a moment to really look at her. jackie looked the complete opposite of lynn. she had dark, curly hair and deep brown eyes. her skin was tan, and she was significantly shorter than him. she's always smiling, even after taking the ungodly amount of stairs, and harry thinks she's probably the nicest person he's ever met.

"we can carpool from now on," he says. "since i'll be going there anyways."

she offers him another warm smile and decides that they should get going because jackie hates being late, and to her, being on time is still considered late. they take the elevator down to ground level (thank god), and she follows him to his car. harry silently thanks whatever higher being may be listening for convincing him to throw away all of his tear-stained and snot-filled drive-thru napkins from earlier.

"i tried to give lynn your gift by the way," jackie says while looking out the window. "i don't want you to think i didn't."

"thank you," he replies. "i shouldn't have brought them. i just felt bad and... i don't know. it was stupid of me."

"it wasn't," she speaks with such sincerity, it makes harry smile. "she's not usually like this," jackie lets such a long sigh out, and harry can see her breath fogging up the window. "the lynn i grew up with would've written you a five-page thank you note just because you thought of her."

harry knows jackie's only venting, but he isn't really sure what to say. he didn't really know either of them, but he can't help but wonder what exactly she meant by that.

"sorry," she smiles at him again, and harry wonders if that's the only facial expression she ever makes.

"there's nothing to be sorry for," he replies, and she turns back to look out the window.

the two sit next to each other in class, and harry is glad to see that jackie seems to hate professor sullivan's lectures just as much as she does. he finds himself constantly checking the clock, and it's like the minute hand barely moves in between each glance. the longest he's gone without looking so far has been a whopping seven minutes.

during a particularly long speech about the importance of credibility, which is something harry had learned about during his first year here three years ago, jackie leans over and scribbles in the top corner of his notebook. when she leans back, harry takes a look at what she wrote.

omg move on already

he feels himself grinning as he pencils a 'god i know' in the margins of her notebook.

the two do this back and forth for the entire lecture, writing to each other when professor sullivan went on rant after rant. and when professor sullivan pointed at harry to answer some question he wasn't paying attention to, jackie answered for him, pretending like she couldn't tell who the woman was pointing to.

"she gives the worst lectures. i swear im always on the brink of falling asleep." jackie says as the two walk down the hallway of the very oversized communications building.

"tell me about it," harry accidentally bumps into her with his arm. "i don't even know why this was added to my course study."

"yours too? they added two to mine right as i'm about to graduate."

"that sucks," harry says. "i've got to make a stop real quick. is that alright?"

"actually, my next class is in twenty minutes upstairs," jackie slows down her walking and nods to the staircase a few feet in front of them. of course, she's taking the stairs.

"alright," harry says. "if you ever want to study or anything, my front door is always unlocked."

"i'm not sure if you're serious, but you shouldn't go around telling people that," she jokes. "i'll see you tuesday?"

"tuesday it is," he nods.

jackie offer a small wave as he leaves, and harry feels a little sick the entire seven-minute drive back to his apartment. he wasn't sure if it was the fact that he was going to have to face lynn now, or the fact that he didn't know if she was coming that made him so anxious, but that doesn't stop him from throwing up in the community trash can.

picking out an outfit feels like the hardest thing harry's ever done since he spent a week in an organic chemistry class. he didn't really know where they were eating, and he didn't know if he was supposed to be trying to impress lynn. the only thing he did know was another mick jagger cosplayer comment might be just what he needs to set him over the edge. he opts for jeans and a white polo shirt from his short-lived student coaching stint at the beginning of freshman year.

harry's deciding which cologne to wear (or if he should wear any at all because what if strong smells give lynn a headache) when he throws up again.

the drive to the restaurant feels way shorter than when he had made it earlier today. it was like he had blinked and he was there. the nearly hour-long drive with rush hour traffic was a complete blur.

he decides to sit on a bench that was conveniently located outside. the restaurant seemed to be a tex-mex situation and harry wanted to cry because that was his least favorite kind of food. he loved mexican food, but there was something about white people putting their own spin on dishes that kind of grossed him out.

he waits for ten minutes, and then twenty, and by this time harry's starting to get a little embarrassed. the amount of times the hostess came out to ask if he was ready to put his name in for a table was already at three, and he thinks he'll have to leave the country if it reaches five.

she comes out the fourth time around 7:30 and harry gives her his name because firstly, he's starving. and second, he cannot let her ask a fifth time.

"if your date doesn't show up, i get off in twenty," she winks at him and harry can feel his cheeks warm. he licks his lips and goes to take her up on her offer because she was insanely attractive and harry was incredibly bored.

"no need," lynn is standing next to him with one of her fake smiles on her face. "if you would've given me more than a second of your time, i could've told you i was free at 7:30," she says, leaning down so her lips were level with his ear. she kisses his cheek before standing up and asking the hostess if their table was ready.

"you could've texted," harry says as they follow the girl. "you have my number."

lynn looks at him with furrowed brows, and harry taps his forehead. "that's right. you ignored the gift i left with your friend."

"so flowers are supposed to make up for what you said?" lynn crosses her arms in front of her at the table, and orders a double jack and coke when the waiter stops by a second later.

"i'll have a water, please," harry smiles politely and waits until the guy leaves before turning back to look at lynn. "they were chocolates actually."

"even worse," she stares at him blankly before yawning, like spending time with harry is the most boring thing to do in the world.

"i really didn't owe you anything," being around lynn brings out the worst in him. "me saying that women thank me for bringing them home is somehow worse than you continuously implying i have this great big fantasy of fucking myself, right?"

"you're right," she takes a drink from her jack and coke. "i was having a rough day. i'm sorry."

harry gasps and puts his hand over his chest. "lynn apologizing? did hell just freeze over?"

"ha ha. you're so funny, harry," her tone is robotic. "but i mean it. i'm sorry. and i have a proposition for you."

"what might that be?" harry leans forward, and lynn raises her brow like she's expecting harry to say whatever sexual innuendo he's biting back. and of course he doesn't make it because that would be wildly inappropriate (but it definitely involves the bright red lipstick she's wearing).

lynn asks him if he would be interested in fake dating her, and harry sits there as she explains it and pretends like that wasn't the entire reason he had invited her out to the restaurant in the first place. he was expecting to beg, maybe even get on his hands and knees, so he was happy to sit back and watch lynn list out all of the pros and cons with pleading eyes while he enjoyed the taco salad he had ordered a little while prior.

he feels a little bad for not interrupting her before she got to the ten-minute mark of her very well thought out proposal. she even included how she was completely okay with labeling it as an open relationship so harry could sleep with whoever he wanted whenever he wanted without worrying that someone they knew might see them, and he had to admit that that condition alone made his answer an immediate yes.

"i'll do it on one condition," harry drinks from his water glass and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "you can't fall in love with me."

"ah, there's the harry i know," lynn flicks her crinkled straw wrapper at his face, and it lands in the middle of his salad. he frowns and tries to fish it out with his fork, but he decides he's not really that hungry anymore. "something tells me that won't be a problem."

17 JUNE 2018

in her twenty seven years of being alive, lynn has never met her boyfriends' families. of course she met luke's, but lynn had known liz and robert way before she and luke were even a thing, so it felt wrong to count that. her college boyfriend's parents were dead (or so he told her for the entirety of their relationship), and the guy she saw briefly after him never became serious enough for her to even learn his parents' names.

so, here she was, sitting at a dinner table surrounded by harry's immediate family. harry had cooked some kind of italian chicken dish that lynn had to chase with a gulp of wine after each bite. it wasn't that it was that bad, she just hated chicken (and also it was that bad).

she had expected it to be awkward, meeting his parents and sister for the first time, but this was borderline unbearable. no one really spoke besides his dad when he would ask gemma about her new promotion at whatever company she worked for. his sister always answered with a polite smile, but lynn could tell it made her uncomfortable by the pitying glances she would give harry after she answered.

"so, lynn," marianne lightly dabs her mouth with a napkin. "your mom tells me you dropped out of school to work in a bakery. any plans of going back?"

john laughs under his breath at this, and lynn feels her face growing incredibly hot. "not at the moment, no."

"well certainly that'll change, right? i don't think decorating cakes would be a long-term career for someone who seems intelligent like yourself," his dad says. marianne scolds him quietly, and lynn can feel harry tensing next to him.

part of her wants harry to stick up for her, but he doesn't. instead, he pushes his food around his plate, doesn't even look up from the table. each second of silence that passes feels more suffocating than the last.

"i think six figures for overseeing my bakery that i spent years building is a pretty good career, don't you think, john?" it comes out so incredible rude, but lynn means it. she wasn't going to sit around and feel belittled by grown adults. harry might be able to sit back and take it, but there was no way in hell she was going to do the same.

"kathleen didn't mention it was yours," marianne smiles at her like she's trying to diffuse whatever situation is brewing. "sounds like lots of hard work. we'll have to stop by sometime."

"yeah, maybe," lynn's offering the older woman a smile that was just as fake as hers, and she feels harry nudging her with his elbow as if she was the one who did something wrong. she wasn't going to apologize or whatever the fuck harry wanted her to do, so instead she excuses herself to the bathroom.

when lynn had brought up the idea of fake dating, she had assumed it would be more of a social media relationship. he could change his facebook status to in a relationship —with lynn adams, and lynn would post a few instagram stories. nothing too crazy, just a little soft launching to keep her friends off her back. nothing could have prepared her for something like this.

when she returns to the table, her dinner dish is cleared, and instead there is a small dessert plate sitting in it's place. there's a sheet cake sitting in the center of the table, and gemma is smiling uncomfortably as her husband takes a picture of her with it. when she sits down, she's able to catch the "congratulations gemma" written in pink icing. god, this was going to be a long night.

lynn's in the kitchen washing the dinner dishes when his family decides to call it a night. they don't come in to say goodbye to her, and she thanks god because lynn doesn't think she could stand to be around them for two more minutes.

"lynn," harry's leaning against the door frame, and lynn keeps her back to him. she shuts off the water even though half of the dishes were still remaining, and dries her hands with the dish rag sitting next to the sink.

"lynn," he tries again. "i'm sorry."

"why don't you stand up to them?" she leans against his sink. "i would never let my dad talk to you like that, harry. especially if you were doing me a favor like this."

"what?" his eyes move from the ground to her face. "what about the way you spoke to him?"

"im not apologizing for that," she scoffs. "he had no right to speak to me like that."

"he's an adult and you're-"

"an adult too," she pushes past him because quite honestly she was done with this conversation. lynn puts on her shoes by his front door and ignores harry repeatedly asking her where she's going before storming over to jackie's apartment.

18 JUNE 2018

"yeah, she's here," she hears jackie's sleepy voice coming from her front door. "sorry she worried you, harry. see you tomorrow."

lynn pretends she's been fast asleep when jackie gently rubs her arm and asks if she wants to move to the guest room.

19 JUNE 2018

"im just saying, why do we have to still be in class when she doesn't."

"okay, you've got a point," jackie's swinging her feet while she sits on the stool at his breakfast bar. "at least we get to work together though."

harry passes her mug across the bar, "yeah, i guess so."

professor sullivan canceled their class today, and instead sent everyone a link to a hefty seven-five-question pop quiz, and harry was less than thrilled about it. especially because the cancellation email was sent out thirty minutes before class started.

"i think we should take yours first. that way we can use my course material to answer," jackie takes a sip of the coffee harry made her and hums. "and then we can take pictures of each answer and use them to answer mine."

and that's what they do. harry reads the question, jackie looks up the answer, and then he takes a photo of whatever answer they've selected. it takes nearly an hour and a half and three cups of coffee to complete the seventy-five questions. harry even apologizes at one point because his folgers and chobani sweet cream coffee creamer is no match to jackie's oat milk lattes. she only smiles at him, and takes a second cup.

"oh my god," harry leans over to look at the girl's laptop screen.

"we should've known the questions were going to be in random order," harry taps his phone screen. "i can take yours for you if you want. so you don't miss your next class."

"thanks, but that one was canceled, too. i think they're having a power outage in that building."

jackie and harry sit there for another two hours taking her quiz. she reads the first few words of three questions at a time and harry goes through all seventy-five photos to see which one held the correct answer. the two move from coffee to the half-empty bottle of red wine harry had started drinking last night, and by the time they're done, they're sitting on his couch with merlot-stained lips and two '96%'s displayed on their laptop screens.

and harry really doesn't know what led to them eating dinner at his kitchen table, but they do. they're eating cheap chinese food right out of the container along with a few more glasses of red wine. at one point, they forget the glasses altogether and pass a freshly opened bottle back and forth between them until it's nearly empty.

"i don't think you're as mean as lynn says you are," jackie says, her lips pressed to the bottle.

harry feels like he's been punched in the stomach when he realizes lynn had told her about their situation. not because he was embarrassed, but because he really, really wanted to taste the merlot on jackie's lips.

"it's an open relationship," harry says, and jackie offers him a closed-lipped smile. "we could-"

"ask me another time," the girl interrupts. "when i haven't had a bottle of wine."

jackie stands up and takes most of their dinner mess to the kitchen before harry stands up to help her. they throw most of it away, and jackie puts their dirty silverware into his dishwasher.

they're standing by his front door a few moments later. neither of them are talking, but jackie's looking at harry in a way that makes his entire body warm.

"for the record," her finger runs along the side of his hand. "i really wanted to say yes. goodnight harry."

22 JUNE 2018

lynn's been sitting outside jackie's apartment with two full boxes of pastries she had stolen from her bakery before it closed today for at least twenty minutes. she knocked for a solid five minutes before resorting to calling the girl. she had gotten to call number thirty-seven when the elevator dinged and jackie walked out with harry trailing right behind her.

"hey," lynn calls for their attention. "i've been calling you."

her friend shrugs and lynn pretends not to notice the way harry's lips are faintly stained red. or the way the red is the exact same shade as the girl's lipstick. "must've left my phone."

jackie unlocks her door and invites the two inside and lynn waits for harry to be right behind her before whispering an "expected nothing less" which makes harry roll his eyes.

"you said this was an open relationship, lynn," harry says. the two are whisper arguing in the doorway of the apartment while the sound of jackie rummaging through her liquor cabinet echoes around them.

"yeah, open as in you're free to sleep with a random girl from the bar. i didn't mean..." her voice falls because she's not really sure what she meant. "whatever, these are for your parents. my apologies for being a bitch the other night."

"maybe you should bring them back tomorrow... for the dinner you're supposed to be attending."

"i'd actually rather kill myself," she says. "tell them i said hello."

"you promised, lynn," his voice is soft. like he's pleading with her rather than yelling at her in a way that jackie can't hear, and he's rocking on his feet moving just the slightest bit closer to her.

"and you promised you'd come to my sister's dance recital today," she pushes the boxes further into his chest. "i can assume you were busy with something other than your journalism quiz."

"something in addition to my journalism quiz," and lynn wants to smack the smirk right off of his face. this whole thing made her feel a little sick. "please lynn, i'll come to the next one. i swear."

"since you've supplied the last two times," jackie's standing in front of them with a bottle of jack in one hand and two cans of coke in the other. she smiles one of the smiles lynn used to find so comforting, but this time, it only makes her stomach churn.

it wasn't even two weeks ago when jackie was so concerned about her. she doesn't understand how she could go from that to whatever the hell she was doing with harry. lynn wouldn't have minded (at least she thinks so), but jackie could've at least asked her. harry was her boyfriend after all.

lynn leaves jackie's apartment with the two pastry boxes, dinner plans for tomorrow, and silas on facetime.

"please tell me it's not as weird as it makes me feel," lynn props her phone against the dashboard so she can see silas's face.

"honestly el... you're sure you told her you were together?"

lynn nods and turns her blinker on to get out of the complex. "after i told her how horrible he had been to me, too."

she had already told silas about the fake relationship because the two tell each other everything. "he probably showed a little interest in her. think about it. chad and her broke up how long ago and she still talks about it."

"i don't think she's that desperate for male attention."

"maybe not. but definitely desperate enough for attention from people who resemble chad."

lynn hums, "yeah probably."

"i cannot put into words how much i hate chad." silas says. "jackie deserved so much better than him."

"what if harry's that, and im just standing in their way?"

silas frowns at her. "i find harry extremely attractive, but i would never do that to you, lynn. open relationship or not. there's just some lines you don't cross."

"yeah," she's not sure if she agrees with silas entirely. "i don't know. we're not even together. i have no reason to be mad."

"she thinks you two are together. that's a little fucked up, lynn," and really she's nothing but grateful for silas. he always made everything feel just a little bit more okay. like she wasn't crazy for being upset with jackie. "i'll talk to her and see where her head's at."

"have i told you how grateful i am for you?"

"not today," he grins. "but i do take venmo and paypal. i'll send the handles your way."

#harry styles #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #harry styles imagine #harry styles fluff #harry styles one shot #harry styles x oc #fine line #dadrry #if you squint #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction #harry #harry styles smut #harry styles series #baker!harry #fluff #angst

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incorrectnwsl · 1 year ago

Text

Ali Krieger : *hangs up the phone*

Allie Long: Huh,

Midge Purce: Uh oh, what's going on?

Allie: Ali usually says, "Love you, bye," when we hang up the phone, and then she sings it, and then she whispers it. This time she just said, "got to go, bye."

Kelley O'Hara: Well maybe... she gotta go?

Allie: Yeah, well maybe. It just feels like Ali hasn't been around as much lately. Last week she only hung out on 4 of 7 girls nights, she missed playing FIFA for, and I quote, "hanging out with Ash." She didn't even come to watch that unrelated Long family on Family Feud.

Lynn Williams: Their performance was, survey says, disgraceful.

Allie: I don't want to throw the "D word" around.

Midge: Dracula?

Allie: Drifting, as in we're all drifting apart. This was my worry when Ash retired, that we'd all spend less and less time together. And then from there who knows what will happen.

Kristie Mewis: Oh my god, is it me driving Ali away? I'm always pestering her with annoying questions like "How much do you think your arms way? Like if you took them off your body and weighed them separately?"

Midge: It could be me. The other day, when Ali and I went to watch game footage, I got a small popcorn to share and she said, "I wish you'd gotten a medium."

Kelley: Well I know it's not me. I'm amazing.

#NWSL #WOSO #Incorrect NWSL Quotes #Incorrect Quotes #Gotham FC #Ali Krieger #Ashlyn Harrs #Krashlyn #Allie Long #Kelley O'Hara #Midge Purce #Kristie Mewis #Lynn Williams

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anima-writer · 2 years ago

Note

maybe childhood friends with Adam and Jonah? where Jonah and the reader get to mess around with Adam!

Childhood Friends w/ Adam Murray and Jonah Marshall

Summary: Literally the title

Pairing[s]: Adam Murray × Reader × Jonah Marshall, Platonic.

Warning[s]: suicide (From Lynn Murray) and mentions of kids kidnapping.

Word Count: 827

A/N: Finally stoping being a tramp and working on the previous requests (:<

How you guys meet up?—

It's very likely that you guys got to know each other pretty early on, because I feel like Lynn would be the type of mom who likes to have a group of first-time moms where everyone helps each other out, you know? And because of that, you literally met each other at birth.

With all this news of mass child abductions, your mother ended up making the decision to throw away her TV as she didn't want to wait to find out what'd happened to you. It would have been nice if Miss Lynn had done what you mother also did earlier.

One afternoon, you mother wanted to stop by her friend's house just to deliver some things that she had promised to return, but when she entered the house, she ended up encounting with a woman hanging over the ceiling and the TV on, but only the rustle was heard. Your mother knew exactly what this scenario was about.

"Oh no... It happened." —said your mother with her eyes still focused on the dead body of her, now, ex-friend. Upon searching the room a little further, your mother ends up finding a small baby lying in the corner of the TV, sobbing and choking on his own tears. The woman picks up poor baby Adam and tries to calm him down before calling the police.

In short: the cops couldn't do much since the boy's own father was reported missing a while back and so the little boy had to be given up for adoption. Your mother ended up not liking the idea so she tried to go to court to get legal custody of little Adam. She did it :)

So...yeah... You and Adam are practically siblings now...yay!! :D

Now about Jonah, there's a large percentage that you and Adam met him together at school and became friends at the same time making the three of you a well known trio around school. Rumors are going around that the three of you were never seen apart, and those who see the trio separated would be unlucky for the rest of the week 😰

Just kidding! Hehe...or maybe not— 🤨

Your relationship with them two—

Your relationship with these two would be chaotic as the three of you are literally the troublemakers and like to pester everywhere you guys can step. Mainly you and Jonah, Adam even participates in these things but mostly he just stays with you just to follow and making sure you guys are still alive.

Now about your relationship with each one, let's start with our dear Adam!

100% sure you would have that classic relationship of siblings who are always fighting over everything but in front of mom they are the greatest angels that the earth has ever had. And if they are not fighting, manipulation is also valid.

"Adam."

"hm?"

"Remember when mom adopt you and now you're my favorite brother?"

"hm"

"...go take me a cup of glass—"

"fuck you."

What a lovely siblings relationship 🥰

Despite lots of name-calling, death threats, punches and all that's good... you two love each other very much and would never let anything bad happen to either of you :)

Now a little bit about our other sweet boy, Jonah!

Jonah would be another brotherly figure for you and Adam, Jonah ended up being such a close friend to the point that he could always arrange sleepovers, that was when you were kids but who says you can't do that in your adulthood?

"Guys, guys, guy—"

"TALK ALREADY!"

"I saw that my neighbor has candy but I need some distractions so I can take them..."

"..."

"Yes, we are totally in."

"Yes!"

Not a day is boring when Jonah is around you as he always makes a mess to get you all involved. There are times when you all participate but most of the time the biggest troublemakers are you and Jonah.

You two practically have clown-to-clown telepathy if you haven't figured it out yet.

Growing up together—

You end up not changing as much from what you were before, but one of you ended up changing drastically that you and Jonah would even think was cool, which was Adam. Adam was now a type of person who was always looking for something to risk and live an adventure. You and Jonah don't know where all that adventurous drive came from, but it's not like you're complaining, is it?

It didn't take long for Adam to find the perfect club for the three of you which would be the Bythorne Paranormal Club (which would later be changed by Adam himself to the Bythorne Paranormal Society).

In this club you end up meeting a new member for the group who would be Sarah Heathcliff!

"You guys are now a quartet! Nobody can stop you now!" — you thought with a big smile, little did you know that after participating in this society to hunt possible paranormal cases, everyone's lives would turn upside down.

#the mandela catalogue #tmc #mandela catalogue #platonic #the mandela catalogue x reader #mandela catalogue mark heathcliff #adam murray x reader #jonah marshall x reader #x reader platonic

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verosvault · 11 months ago

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🚨 SPOILERS FOR FANTASY HIGH SOPHOMORE YEAR!!!🚨

Dimension20 "Fantasy High Sophomore Year"

Episode 16 "My Green Heaven"

Timestamp: 02:26:59

Video Length: 2min. & 32sec.

Kalina WAS FOR SURE SO FREAKING SCARY!!! Her threats were REAL!!! She was LIKE-... SO HARD TO SCRY ON and ALSO SO HARD to HIT! She'd know SO much info from spying on people! She could tear people apart from the inside! Her words held WEIGHT! She NEVER gave an empty threat! It was real! She wasn't lying about the fact that she was going to kill the party if they came into the forest! She was only able to really hurt Kristen and Riz really badly! But also like- Ragh, Sandra Lynn, and Tracker all went missing and that could've been the nightmare king maybe? Or maybe it was Kalina...Idk! Either way it's freaking TERRIFYING!

Kalina for sure has been my favorite D20 villain so far! 💖💖💖 I was ALWAYS on edge during the scenes with her in it!!! You had to talk so smart with her and you had to pick and choose your words so carefully!!! But then again... She also knew so much from just spying on people and I'm pretty sure the amount of blackmail she'd done in her life was A TON!!! 😭😭��✋

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samcrosfaith · 7 months ago

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SKIN AND BONES 𝟎𝟕| 𝖆 𝖑𝖔𝖓𝖌 𝖜𝖆𝖞

Tessa followed the CPS lady through the quiet house. As almost always, Happy was in the clubhouse or out and Maria was still in town with Gemma, waiting to hear from Tessa if she wanted to come along so they could do something nice with Sawyer later.

The Lowman woman definitely wanted to spend enough time with Tessa and Sawyer before she would return to Bakersfield. Her sister would ultimately move back in with Maria to support her now that Tessa would stay in Charmingᅳ which made Maria happy and sad at the same time.

Even though she would miss the young woman, Maria knew that Tessa was in good hands here with Sawyer. What's more, she wasn't blind. Sick, yes, maybe a little older, alsoᅳ but she could still see well enough to observe the looks Tessa was giving her son. And, she had also caught Happy a few times when he had dared to take a look.

"So." With her nose wrinkled, the woman in her early forties pushed her glasses a little higher up her nose, her slightly stern look landing on Tessa. "The size of the house is good, at least there's enough space to create a separate room for Sawyerᅳ that's what you're planning on doing, right?"

"Yes, yes of course", Tessa shot back quickly and full of enthusiasm. "Sawyer will get the guest room until we find our own apartment, that's already been agreed upon with the owner of the house."

"The owner you say, huh.." the woman cleared her throat, her eyes narrowed slightly as she wrote something down on her notepad. "Mr. Lowman, correct?"

Tessa nodded again, always a polite smile on her lips. After all, she had to make an impression. Before the woman showed up, she had also changed her outfitᅳ just to be on the safe side. Normally the raven-haired woman didn't care about what others thought of her, but in this case she had to care if she wanted to keep Sawyer.

Instead of her black, sometimes provocative clothes such as short skirts, tight tops and fishnet tights, she wore simple jeans, sneakers and an inconspicuous dark red long-sleeved shirt that didn't have a neckline that showed too much of her cleavage. Her hair was tied up in a high ponytail and her make-up only consisted of eyeliner and mascara.

"Yes, exactly, Happy Lowman. Why?", she asked, curiosity lingering in her tone when she noticed the woman's suddenly snide tone. "Is there a problem?"

"As far as we know he belongs to a gang...the Sons of Anarchy, is that correct?" Mrs. Lynn's gaze shifted from the notepad in her hands to Tessa. “Do you think this is the right person to have around a four-year-old?”

"Oh, rightᅳ the usual prejudices", Tessa uttered with a soft snort, the prejudices towards Happy leaving a bitter taste on her tongue. Something about it just bothered her that the woman allowed herself to be so discriminatory. "First of all; it's a motorcycle club, not a gang, and Mr. Lowman isn't home most of the time. Besides, without his help, my son would still be stuck with my father, who has fooled you and your colleagues for years", Tessa paused , raising her hand as the woman began to speak.

"You looked the other way, let a little boy live with a woman who was absolutely not good for him. How many times have I asked for help, told you that my father is lying? I'm sure that's nowhere written on your funny board, huh?", Tessa huffed mockingly as she pointed at the board in Mrs. Lynn's arm before she then crossed her arms. "The house here is clean, my son is in good hands and, most importantly, he's happy. You've seen for yourself how comfortable he feels here. So what's the problem?"

Rubbing the tip of her nose, the older woman cleared her throat, careful not to let her facade fallᅳ but the young woman in front of her had a point and she knew it. If Tessa wanted, she could even file a lawsuit because no one in the department had ever followed her suspicions. No one ever checked on Mikael or Susan Laney because they simply didn't care much.

"Miss Laney, we just want to make sure that Sawyer is okay and that this doesn't happen again", she finally said reassuringly, a tight smile on her thin, orange-colored lips.

The color of the lipstick was definitely one you had to get used to, yet Tessa was the last one to say anything about itᅳ after all, she was the one who always wore dark red or even black lipstick.

"Sawyer is fine", Tessa emphasized, this time with more willpower and conviction in her tone. "My son has everything he needs, as you can see."

"Well", the woman weighed her head slightly, sighing. "He doesn't have his own kid bed, nor does he have a proper play area. Listen, Miss Laney, I don't want to take Sawyer away from you again, that's not my intentionᅳ and I can see that your son is really important to you. But there are still some requirements that need to be met."

Tessa bit her tongue to keep a stupid, possibly cheeky statement from falling from her lips that could get her in trouble. Instead she forced a smile on her lips as she offered the woman a seat in the kitchen as they entered.

There, too, Mrs. Lynn's gaze observed every shelf. At one point she even ran her fingertip over one of the shelves to check for dust, which she ended up wiping off her finger with her nose wrinkled. Tessa just simply ignored it with a roll of her brown eyes.

"What other requirements are there?" Tessa asked with a sigh, exhausted by all this nonsense that was completely blown out of proportion. "Whatever it is, I'll take care of it as long as Sawyer can stay with me."

"Well", the woman began, placing her board on the table. Straightening her black pencil skirt, she sank into one of the chairs. "We believe that Sawyer needs your full attention now, which means you need to find an apartment with himᅳ quickly. He also needs to have children his age around him, which is why he should be enrolled in daycare within a month at the latestᅳ and he has to visit daycare at least four times a week. Andᅳ"

Tessa stared at the woman in horror, her eyes wide and her lips parted, causing Mrs. Lynn to interrupt herself and lift an eyebrow.

"Is there a problem, Miss Laney?", she asked.

"No, generally not. Butᅳ", her slightly shaking hand from feeling all overwhelmed, closed around the ponytail that she let slip out of her grip a moment later again with a sigh. "Do you know how difficult it is to get a daycare place in such a short time? And how long do I have to find an apartment? I'm already on it, as I told you earlier, but it's not that easy."

A hint of condemnation reflected in Mrs. Lynn's dull, loveless eyes. "That's not our problem, Miss Laney. You understand that, right?"

"Of course I understand", Tessa replied, careful not to sound too snarky. "But first I have to find a job that pays well enough so that I can afford daycare and my own place to live."

Mrs. Lynn shrugged nonchalantly, waving her hand around. "You have to manage that somehow, otherwise we'll have to find another solution for Sawyer."

"This isn't fair! What theᅳ", once again Tessa quickly bit her tongue before she could say anything worse. She had always had a fiery temper and was always brutally honestᅳ but right now she had to smile away her anger. "That won't be necessary, I can manage it. Again, how long do I have to find an apartment?"

"You better do", remarked the woman with the stern look and her perfect blonde bun at the nape of her neck, her ice blue eyes trained on Tessa. "Exactly three months. Of course, I, or a colleague, will continue to pay you unannounced visits to make sure that Sawyer is okay. The visits will stop when we can be absolutely sure about that."

This time Tessa couldn't help but let out a huff, feeling offended by the woman's words. "You never did that to my aunt, even though I asked. Is it my looks? Or my young age? What exactly makes you people think I can't be a good mother?"

"Miss Laney, we are only human. Mistakes can happen", the woman justified herself with an arrogant look, insecurity containing in itᅳ but she wasn't feeling a hint of guilt at all. "All factors come into play. And if you're smart, you'll just let us do our job."

Mrs. Lynn's suddenly sharper tone awakened Tessa's uncomfortable side, which the twenty-one year old had to suppress with all her willpower. Why did this Mrs. Lynn thought she had a right to treat her so unfairly and condescendingly?

So, Tessa just shrugged her shoulders. "You know what, that's exactly what I'm going to do. Do your job, you'll see that I'm a good mother."

"Okay, we will", the woman replied with a somewhat challenging smile. "There's one more thing.."

"And that would be?" Tessa wanted to know with a sigh. Great, probably even more requirements that were almost impossible to fulfill.

"We need the name of Sawyer's father. He has a right to see his son as well", the woman paused, making a note on her notepad. "And if there's no interest in that, he still has to pay child support, which Susan Laney never received while Sawyer was in her care."

"Because Susan doesn't deserve to see a freakin' dime", Tessa seethed before her blood ran cold at the thought of Sawyer's father. "I don't know Sawyer's biological father. It was a one-night stand after a long night at the bar."

That was a blatant lie. Of course Tessa knew her son's father, she had never been the 'slutty' type to sleep around with different men every weekend and not using protection. There was a long history she and her ex shared and every time one of those memories came up, Tessa could cringe at her own nativity at the time. How she could ever fall for a man like Cal was still a mystery to her to this day.

But daughters usually chose guys who were like their father, right? Or how did the saying go again?

She'd rather Mrs. Lynn think she was a slut before the woman would actually contact Cal. That wouldn't be good for her or Sawyerᅳ and she would protect her son at all costs, especially from the heartbreak that man would inflict on her son, who never wanted Sawyer in the first place.

"Are you serious?" Mrs. Lynn asked, her glasses now sitting further down on her nose as she studied Tessa, not surprised but still condemning, before a sigh fell from her lips. "Well, I hope you don't expect to get any support from the state."

"Don't worry, I don't need money from others. I can take care of my son and myself", Tessa replied, bitterness dripping with every word she spoke. "Are we done? I wanna go to town with Sawyer to get him some nice things."

"Mhm, do that", the older woman hummed as she stood up, her thin heels clicking on the older wooden floorboards as she found her way out of the kitchen, Tessa close behind her.

When they reached the door, the blonde woman turned around again and bore her icy blue eyes into Tessa's soul. "If you want to keep Sawyer, I advise you to stay away from Mr. Lowman. Bikers aren't good company for children, don't you agree?"

"Oh please, save your breath. I may not be the smartest, but I know my rights. That's no reason to take my son away. And now", with a very friendly fake smile, Tessa opened the door and made a swinging hand gesture forward. "..please leave his house if you don't have anything nice to say about the owner."

Indignant at the younger woman's knowledge and fierceness, the woman with the glasses let out a high-pitched snort before strutting toward her car, her heels clicking loudly against the grey concrete while Tessa could only shake her head in amusement.

She wasn't going to let anyone use her as a puppet, that much was certain. Even though Tessa was often insecure, she still had enough dignity leftᅳ and she knew what the woman could and could not use against her. And Mrs. Lynn's prejudice against Happy was anything but professional and had nothing to do with Sawyer's caseᅳ so Tessa wasn't going to take her shit.

ᚔ

With a warm smile, Tessa looked down at her son as he hugged his new stuffed animal tightly as she entered the clubhouse with him and told the four-year-old to sit next to Abel. The two boys hit it off right from the start. Happy had taken Tessa and Sawyer to the clubhouse shortly after their arrival to introduce them to the others.

And Tessa found every single one of the scary-looking bikers, who were actually a bunch of nice, polite guys, pretty impressive. Everyone had a sense of humor, Tig and Happy's a little darker than the others. Plus, everyone was caring and immediately offered their help if she ever needed it.

And the small group's president, Jax, also told her that Sawyer was always welcome and could play with his son any time. Apparently Abel was a bit reserved and didn't have anyone his age around him except when he was in day care at the hospital during the day with his younger brother Thomas while his mother worked there.

Tessa couldn't say much about Tara Knowles yet. In the few days that she was here, she was mostly at Happy's house or just found the guys here in the clubhouse or a few women just hanging around. They were called Croweaters, that's what she knew so far, and they didn't think much of wearing a lot of clothingᅳ but Tessa wasn't one to judge and so she had no problem with the scantily dressed women as long as they were nice to her or simply ignored her.

She was able to get to know Gemma, the queen of the bikers, with whom she got along pretty well so far and realized relatively quickly that they were both on the same wavelength. Seeing how well Maria got along with the matriarch was another reason to trust that Gemma, despite her sometimes harsh nature, was a good soul.

Looking around, she spotted Happy coming from the dorms. He sent the woman, who was still clinging to his arm and giggling stupidly, away with only a stern look when he spotted Tessa, whose smile threatened to fall when she saw Happy and the blonde woman being so close.

But he needed this, to let off the steam and just fuck someone's brains out, to clear his mind of the very woman who was now standing in the middle of the room, kneading her hands somewhat awkwardly while trying to keep her smile.

Happy sighed to himself before he crossed the room and walked towards her, his dark eyes immediately searching for hers. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Yeah, it was a pretty spontaneous idea, sorry if I disturbed you", she finally answered, trying not to show how a little bit of jealousy was bubbling up inside her. Why the hell was she even jealous?

"You're not", Happy assured with a shrug, a part of him even pleased that she was hereᅳ which, as usual, he didn't show. "How was the appointment with the CPS lady?"

"Is she your girlfriend or something?", Tessa asked, her gaze falling onto the blonde, who sat bored on one of the couches while putting a piece of chewing gum in her mouth, before she let Happy gently push her towards the bar after he quickly greeted Sawyer with a wink. "The appointment was..strenuousᅳ and that's putting it nicely."

"Who? Mandy?" Happy asked, his brow furrowing before he grunted, shaking his head as he leaned against the counter, his forearm resting comfortably on the surface. "She's just a distraction, nothing more", he said with a shrug, looking Tessa over.

He hadn't forgotten the brief but intimate moment between them that had happened this morning. The scent of Tessa's perfume still lingered in his nose as if he had just inhaled it. Even though he had just let off some steam, Happy felt the fabric of his jeans tightening againᅳ whereupon he quickly redirected his thoughts.

Tessa's doe brown eyes looked up at him in confusion, her plump lips formed into a thinner line. "Distraction from what?"

"Club shit, it's a bit stressful at the moment", he grunted as he couldn't think of a better excuse. "Now tell me about the appointment. Can you keep Sawyer? What did she say?"

"Oh, don't even get me started on that." With a snort, Tessa waved her hand around, lifting her body weight to sit down on one of the stools a moment later. Her fingernails ghosted over the counter, here and there feeling the sticky remains of spilled beer. "I have to fulfill some requirements and of course she didn't miss the opportunity to say a stupid shit about you and your club."

Happy just let out a huff before he told the prospect to bring him a beer and Tessa a coke, making the young man behind the bar jump. "Nothing newᅳ we're used to it. What requirements do you have to fulfill?"

"Still, they don’t know shit about you", the young woman, still slightly annoyed about that, grumbled, her fingers immediately curling around the glass as it was placed in front of her. With a smile she thanked the man with the dark hair and the mustache before telling Happy what the requirements were.

Meanwhile, the door to the clubhouse opened, Chibs and Lyla coming in. So far Tessa had only spoken to the blonde once, but in detail and a certain connection was there immediately.

As Tessa found out, Lyla's ex, the father of her son Piper, was just as much of an asshole as her own ex. However, Tessa didn't say anything about Cal but just gave Lyla a sympathetic ear. Apparently the blonde didn't have many friends her age either.

Tessa was also ten years younger than Lyla, but the Laney woman had always been a bit more mature than others her ageᅳ she had to be.

"Hey brother", Chibs' Scottish accent boomed across the room before he slapped Happy's back after setting down two large bags that appeared to belong to Lyla. "Tessa", he gave her a friendly wink. "Did t' appointment with t' CPS lady go well?"

"I told him", Happy rubbed the back of his neck as he gave Tessa an apologetic look. "I hope that's okay."

"Aye, now this is awkward", Chibs murmured, clearing his throat, before slapping Happy on the shoulder again. "Sorry brother."

"Don't worry, it's okay", Tessa assured both men with the slightest of smiles. Why should she have a problem with it? "It's tiring, but I'll make it somehow."

"Bitch thinks we're bad company for Sawyer. Now she has to move out and put the kid in daycare, doesn't matter if she wants to or not", Happy said with a shake of his head, even he found the requirements stupid as hell.

With his hands on his hips, Chibs shook his head with a sigh. "They really don't have any other problems, huh? I can't believe this stupid shit."

"Yeah, and now I have to find a job that pays good enough so I can afford the rent for an apartment and daycare", Tessa added with a humorless laugh as she put down her glass, realizing she needed something stronger than her coke. The next moment she reached for Happy's beer and took a sip, earning two slightly worried looks from the men. "I have no idea how this is supposed to work out. I mean, have you guys seen the prices of apartments here in California? So if any of you hear that someone is looking, I'll take anything."

"We are looking." With her sweet smile, Lyla approached the group after she put some of the things from the large paper bags away, listening to their conversation every now and then. "If you want, I could introduce you to our current boss."

"Hell no", Happy almost barked at the blonde, his gaze determining. "She won't start doing pornᅳ no offense."

The Killer liked Lyla and had no problem with her job. Hell, how many times had he watched pornᅳ that's exactly why he didn't want Tessa to take the job. The thought of other men drooling at the sight of her naked body, jerking off while watching Tessa being fucked by another guy or even more, awakened a relatively new feeling in him, one that he himself had never experienced before.

Maybe it was jealousy, or maybe it was simply the urge to protect the young woman, to protect her dignity.

"Happy.." Tessa's tone was gentle as she looked at Happy. "Don't you think that would be my decision?"

Even if this was one of Tessa's last options, it would certainly be a more than well-paid job that would make her feel shabby, yet it would still give her the money she needed to put food on the table for her son and herself.

"I think so too", Lyla chimed in, her features becoming even softer than they already were. "Besides, she wouldn't do porn."

"I don't care, you don't do porn. Conversation's over", Happy admonished again, kind of sounding like a possessive boyfriend, but he didn't care. He joined the staring duel with Tessa, who looked at him just as stubbornly. However, he then narrowed his eyes at Lyla. "Then what kind of job would it be?"

"She would only be our model." The blonde suppressed a mischievous grin. Happy Lowman was jealous, that was definitely something new.

Her eyes darted to Tessa reassuringly. "You would present our production company. Of course not alone, we all do itᅳ but we are looking for a new main face for the new commercials. It pays really well and you wouldn't have to do movies."

"That sounds pretty good", Tessa exclaimed enthusiastically, definitely more convinced of the idea of being the headmodel of a porn agency than Happy. However, her euphoria faded somewhat. "They're probably nudes, right?"

"What the hell do you think they are, huh?", Happy muttered from the side, whereupon Chibs lightly elbowed him in the side.

"Let t' girl make her own decisions, brother", he told Happy with an encouraging smile, but the SAA was anything but enthusiastic that Chibs wasn't on his side either.

Lyla cast an uncertain look back and forth between Happy and Tessa as they stared at each other stubbornly again and were about to slide into the next discussion.

"Okay, you know what, just stop by CaraCara tomorrow morning", Lyla placed a supportive hand on Tessa's arm that was resting on the counter. "There I'll explain everything again and show you examples. Then you can decide whether you want the job or not."

"Thanks Lyla, I'll do that", Tessa said, grateful to even have a job offer. Sighing, she turned her gaze at Happy as he grabbed his beer with a huff and stood up. "Where are you going?"

Happy took a few steps, stopping again to look down at her. The gentle look in her eyes almost made him feel guilty for being an assᅳ almost. "Why do you care? You don't care what I think either."

He watched as Tessa's eyes widened, wallowing in guilt as she could hear the anger and disappointment in his tone. The thought of her getting naked for other men, even if it was just for a photo, didn't exactly bring out the best side of him. Knowing that he couldn't get any more attached to her, he would just mostly avoid her until she had her own apartment. That's why he left her at the bar, nodding the blonde Croweater from earlier over, who followed him like a puppy.

"Give him time, lass", Chibs reassured her with a sigh and a faint smile, squeezing her arm. "He's just worried, even if he's acting like a prick right now."

"I didn't mean to upset him", Tessa mumbled sheepishly, genuine remorse in her tone as she folded her arms loosely, hating the fact that the blonde was giving Happy company again. "But I need the job, even if he's not a fan of it."

"Just talk t' him again later", Chibs advised with a wink. "I have t' go, Jax needs me. See you around, ladies."

"Bye Chibs", Lyla waved after the Scotsman before looking sympathetically at Tessa. "I'm sorry if I got you in trouble. I didn't think Happy actually likes you that way."

"No, you just wanted to help me, and I can decide for myself", she said firmly, although a blush took over her cheeks. "We're just friends, nothing more."

"Yeah, sure", Lyla snorted a soft laugh, bending over the surface of the bar with a meaningful grin. "Happy doesn't have female friends. Either he just fucks the women, which I thought was the only option, or he starts to care about them, which I guess means a lot and happens rarely. He's definitely into you, girl."

"Yeah, I think you're putting too much into this", Tessa said with a nervous laugh but a glimmer of hope in her eyes, receiving a 'mhm sure' look from the blonde before she continued clearing out the bags.

Could it be that not only did she feel jealous seeing Happy with other women, but that he was jealous too? No, he probably just didn't want her to sell her body because she was family after all.

That had to be the reasonᅳ nothing more, nothing less.

#writers on tumblr #charlie hunnam #happy lowman #romance #violence #writer #smut #original character #happy lowman x reader #sons of anarchy

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razorsadness · 2 years ago

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“I think friends can literally save your life,” Dolly told Ladies’ Home Journal, and I agree. In his book Nothing Personal, James Baldwin writes, “I have always felt that a human being could only be saved by another human being. I am aware that we do not save each other very often. But I am also aware that we save each other some of the time.” That saving doesn’t have to be sexual. There’s a particular sadness in thinking—as wonderful as sex is—that it’s the only kind of love that can save us. During the worst of the many wounds of 2018, if I hadn’t had my friends messaging me throughout the day and night, I would have folded. I can assure you I never fucked any of them, but the intensity of my love is not less than if I had. “You can’t make old friends,” Dolly and Kenny Rogers sang to each other in their 2013 duet. In so many ways I think of my friend Jess as a life partner, and she is just about the straightest woman I’ve ever met. Maybe sex is easier for people to understand than love. It’s more straightforward. Love is complicated and easy prey for nostalgia, which itself is not nearly as simple as it seems.

These days we think of nostalgia as a harmless walk down memory lane, but the term was actually coined in the eighteenth century to describe a unique kind of depression experienced by sailors away from home. It was seen as an actual ailment, and that seems correct. Think of the whole “Make America Great Again” thing...; think of people’s yearning for things to be as they were, when life was “simple.” A lot of forgetting is involved in this. In an episode of her 1970s talk show, Dolly visits noted monster, and former president, Andrew Jackson’s house wearing an antebellum dress and holding a parasol. She sings—and one can’t cringe enough—that de facto Confederate anthem “Dixie.” Later in the same show, she has musician Freddy Fender on to talk about Chicano music, and they sing “Before the Next Teardrop Falls” in Spanish. I wonder how much she stopped to think about any of that, because it’s not like she’s not a thinker.

Dolly herself, in her 1969 song “In the Good Old Days (When Times Were Bad),” ultimately rejects the notion of the past as preferable, although her songs are very often steeped in nostalgia, whether rosy or wistful. Still, the song states that you couldn’t pay her enough to go back and live like she did in her youth. This is pretty unequivocal! Yet when my grandmother lost most of her memories, what she retained were mostly those from her foundational years into young adulthood. Maybe we’re hardwired for nostalgia. I’ll admit that the last time I was in Los Angeles, riding down Fairfax or La Brea or La Cienega and seeing the dingbat apartment buildings with their tiny windows, my throat choked up, not because I miss being inside of them but because my body felt so far from it and yet those sights and sounds and all of it are actually inside of my body, somewhere, waiting to be reactivated.

“Is nostalgia even an emotion?” poet Becca Klaver wonders in a 2017 essay about the subject. “Maybe it’s a drive, like hunger or lust. It’s in the body.” She notes that “the past seems so easy to lose.” Remembering, then, is urgent work.

—Lynn Melnick, from “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind” (I’ve Had to Think Up a Way to Survive: On Trauma, Persistence, and Dolly Parton, University of Texas Press, 2022)

#lynn melnick #i've had to think up a way to survive #nostalgia #friendship #dolly parton #quotations #recently read #this book is EVERYTHING #i wanted to quote like half of it #but ultimately this was the part that hit me hardest at this current moment

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arts-butthound · 4 months ago

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Writing and lil Brain Bois

Going to go ahead and make a little collection of links to my works: Long running fics: Sense and Salarian Ability: ongoing, found family, Mass Effect fandom

When the human girl shows a great promise as an artist, Lau will take a great interest in her development. As the two grow alongside each other as people, hopefully they can grow to be more than protégé and mentor to each other. And maybe this human child can help lift the weight of half a lifetime of regret of the salarian's shoulders...

In the Shadow of Giants: on hold, alien romance, Mass Effect

Follow the budding romance between human janitor, Lynn Stobe, and salarian geneticist, Indros Tulic. Between the ins and outs of inter-species dating, salarian union politics, and the brink of a undisclosed war-how do two people navigate, or help each other grow.

There is no privacy in public for a salarian with a human on his arm and a clan's reputation to uphold.

Blinded by Precedence: on hold, romance, Hogwarts Legacy

Their years in Hogwarts are ended and Eudora's friends have scattered to the winds to chase the rest of their lives. She stays at Hogwarts, kept on as a teachers assistant as an excuse to keep studying the repository. But she misses the family she's grown over the last two years. Eudora wishes to forget her growing affections for her friend Ominis and sets out to ignore them when Ominis invites her to visit him for Christmas and New Years in London. But close proximity to each other is a bothersome, warm, affectionate thing that prevents her from totally ignoring herself. As it would turn out, Ominis is also ignoring his own feelings.

Short fics and drabbles: Brother Antics: set in the world of Sense and Salarian Ability, we come in on a gentle scene between younger sister and older brother. Always loved this scene, but could never get it to fit in the fic.

Mortal Care: dragon age inquisition short, Solavellan, before I figured out my main inquisitor. Still think it's a solid enough bit of writing

Monster Hunting: original short, a woman is torn apart and reformed by mad scientists. Left only a new devotion and festering vengeance, she silently muses and plans. I eventually need to come back to this group. I remember really feeding on them

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pureimaginationts4 · 6 months ago

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The very first generation (3a): The bond of soulmates

The title is quite cheesy, isn't it? =))

The story this time is based on the past story of my childhood friend aka my old crush and a dreamy yet impossible future with him =)) (I swear every single person playing TS4 will make a story related to their crush =)))

Lynn Paddington first met Henry Nigel when she was 13. He was a new student transferring to her class and became her tablemate later. She did not have a good impression of him at first as she heard he was from the class with lots of michievous students so she tried to stay away from him as much as she could. Although they argued all the time, slowly they became close friends and always did everything together.

Henry had a crush on the prettiest girl in their class while Lynn secretly had a crush on him =))) As Lynn was his best friend, Henry really trusted Lynn and told her everything about his crush and how he tried to win her heart. Lynn was a chubby nerd back then with a "ugly duck" appearance so she knew she would never have a chance with Henry. She hid her feelings and became a helpful "love advisor" for her best friend (at the age of 13 =))))). Though it was a little bit sad whenever Henry told Lynn about his crush, Lynn still felt ok as long as she could be by Henry's side and she could not be greedy and ask for more.

Lynn thought this friendship would last forever but suddenly one day, the teacher moved Henry to another seat. He started to have new friends around and forgot about his best friend. From hours of phone calls every night to a complete silence, Lynn was left with tons of questions about the reasons why Henry left and why their friendship came to an end.

After graduation from the secondary school, they went to 2 different high schools and completely lost contact. Lynn still secretly followed him on social media years to see if he was doing well. And they still met some times at their class reunions but they didn't even say hi to each other. And just like that they grew apart and went two separate ways.

Suddenly after 7 years, one day, when Lynn was in the 3rd year of college, she received a phone call from Henry.

"Hey, can I see you?" - he asked

She was scared to see him because they were separated for too long but at the same time could not say no to him. She took all of her courage to go see him.

"I've had a serious surgery recently. Do you know what I was thinking right before I went into coma? The image of my best childhood friend came into my mind and all of the good memories we had together too. I wonder why I let all of them slip away and forgot the one that understands me the most. I really regret it. And now I want to make up for it. Is that ok?"

After that, Lynn slowly let Henry come back into her life again and they gradually became best friends again. Seven years had passed but they were still exactly the same. Henry still told her everything in his life including tons of his Tinder dates and Lynn was still his love advisor.

==============================

(From this part it is my dreamy imagination =)))))))))

From that day, they always hung out together to make up for the past seven years that they'd missed. Lynn was still a nerdy introvert who could barely tolerate crowded places or interacting with a lot of people. Though being very outgoing and having a lot of friends, Henry still undertood and respected Lynn's own world and personalities. Whenever they went out for friendates, Henry always tried to pick somewhere only they knew and never brought other friends with him so Lynn could be comfortable around him. Lynn felt really guilty for wasting his time and also felt like they were not in the same world anymore.

"Maybe we should not be friends. Being friend with me is quite boring, isn't it? There's nothing much to do with me. And I cannot discuss complicated adulthood stuff with you either because I have no experience."

Henry laughed and gently comforted her: "Isn't it good? To stay simple like us now? After facing so many complicated stuff, this is what I actually need. I'm still very excited to see you everyday and to tell you everything about my life without being afraid of being judged. You're my comfort zone. Or to be a little bit more cheesy, my soulmate. Don't ever think of ending our friendship. My soul radar can find you anywhere and annoy you till you become my friend again."

Lynn was really touched on that day and secretly decided that though she was not an ideal friend to him, as long as Henry needed her, she would always be there for him. She started to learn about his world day by day and showed up in his important life events to support him. Many people questioned if they were more than friends. At times like that, Henry often proudly said: "She's my soulmate". And Lynn was conscious enough to know that "soulmate" was still just a mate. They would never cross that thin line called "friendship" so she also lied to everyone and even lied to herself that they were purely friends so that she would never lose this friendship.

From his political debate competition to his national football final,

From his graduation day to his first cool internship.

After graduation, their lives were more and more different. As an introvert, Lynn chose to be a freelance content writer while Henry followed his family's long-lasting political career path. With the flying political career and good ability in finance investment, Henry gradually became very wealthy. He lived in an expensive penthouse, often attended luxurious parties, met a lot of hot women and had a wide network of friends around the world. Meanwhile, Lynn still had very few friends, barely left her house and enjoyed her time alone diving in the world of books. Henry kept changing his girlfriends while Lynn had never been in a relationship before. But despite all these differences, they still had a strong bond and understood everything about each other even without saying. They didn't really care about others' gossips about them and still enjoyed their time together.

Henry really treasured this friendship and never left a moment for Lynn to doubt that she was not enough. After his long business trips, his fav and first thing to do was to visiting Lynn's tiny apartment and having hotpots with her while watching a movie they planned to watch before. He could also call ten girlfriends repectively to his house just to achieve the goal of kissing 50 girls before Christmas =)))) but ten mins later he could easily kick them out just to clean the house neatly and wait for his best friend to visit him and they could decorate the Christmas tree together (while he told her about the achievement =))).

But everything had changed when Henry got a new girlfriend Blake Hanley - the fifth generation of the famous Hanley family. She was a rising star in the worlds of acting and modeling.

Lynn thought this time would be no difference but one day the playboy Henry said he really loved Blake and he wanted to settle down with her. Looking at the sincerity in his eyes, Lynn knew he was serious this time and she also knew their friendship should and would soon come to an end. No matter how carefully she protected her own heart, she could not pretend that she did not have any feelings for him and have enough courage to watch him hand in hand with his bride.

The day Henry got married, Lynn went to Italy to study abroad (haha, I made her sleep that entire day =))).

(I made Blake too beautiful. She deserved her own picture =)))

Henry was too busy with his rising career and the life of newlyweds so he barely had any spare time. Lynn also avoided him by making excuses that the time difference was not convenient for them to talk so they slowly separated again.

Then Henry got adorable twins who took after his wife's beauty. He loved his wife and his children so much and tried his best to give them the best life. But after some time, Blake was no longer happy with her marriage and started to have an affair with the top actor Issac Ward who she met during a movie set. She left Henry and the twins behind when they only turned one to pursue her new love. Henry really struggled to balance between maintaining his busy work and taking care of the twins while carrying a brokent heart with him. Lynn knew about it and she felt bad for Henry. She quickly finished her study and came back to help him look after the kids even though she was also receiving some achievements as a rising author in Italy.

She went back and forth between her house and Henry's everyday. Henry was so worried about her so he asked her to move in with him. He even decorated the spare room the same as her apartment with tons of books so that she could feel at home.

The day Lynn moved in, Henry leaned on the door and looked at his best friend reading a bedtime story to his kid, He froze for a few moments and secretly smiled at her: "Actually I am the one to feel at home right now. I'm glad that you're here."

Ivy and Peter, Henry's kids, also got very attached to auntie Lynn (like their father =))) and also liked reading like her.

Four of them looked like a happy family but Henry and Lynn were actually very innocent and still purely friends.

Everyday, after putting the kids to bed and finishing their busy work, Lynn and Henry often spent a little time together chit chatting and sharing eveything like the two mid-school kiddos, just like before.

After all the hardships, Henry looked back and suddenly realized that the one that he had been looking for was always by his side right from the beginning. And he could also honestly look into the special feelings he'd always had for Lynn but did not know or pretended it did not exist because he did not want to lose his best friend.

Henry finally decided to end their friendship and made a move, after over 20 years of friendship (man I cried on that day even I was the one who made it happen =))). I need to share all pictures of that day =))

Ivy and Peter could not be happier as they already considered auntie Lynn their mom. They officialy became a family now.

As Lynn always said it seemed unreal and wanted them to date for some more time to see if it worked, Henry patiently waited and when the moment came, he finally proposed to his best friend =))

"From tablemates to soulmates, and now, will you be my bedmates too?"

"Are you sexually harrassing me? You bastard! What kind of proposal is this?"

"That's the art of word play. You fool. Now it's time to argue about this?"

At the age of 35, they still argued like two mid-school kiddos =)) but she said yes, eventually.

(I cried on their wedding too. A happy ending I'll never experience =)))

Pictures of their wedding is added in the next post.

#ts4 #the sims 4 #the sims 4 story

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