#Incorrect NWSL Quotes

[incorrectnwsl]

A long, long time ago:

Christen Press: What if we went to dinner... not as friends?

Tobin Heath: As enemies?

[i-am-mr-k]

I sometimes wonder which would be faster for a response. Christen Press calling 911, or posting to Tumblr.

On second thought:

RealChristenPress23☑️: Help! Someone is breaking into my house. It's a robbery!

Press_Fiend_5eva: Yass my beautiful Queen 👑👑👑 you stole my heart! Can't wait to see you back on the field.

[hardtchill]

Tobin reporting to camp for the first time in 425343 years.

I missed you Emily *hug* I missed you Becky *hug* I missed you Lindsey *hug* I missed you Tierna *hug* I missed you Pinoe *hug* I missed you Kelley *hug* I missed you Alex *hug* I missed you Sophia *hug* I missed you AD *hug* I missed you Alyssa *hug* I missed you Jane *hug* I missed you Alana *hug* I missed you Abby *hug* I missed you Midge *hug* I missed you Sam *hug* I missed you Kristie *hug* I missed you Rose *hug* I missed you Andi *hug* I missed you Cat *hug* I missed you Carli *hug* I missed you Lynn *hug* I missed you Christen *hug*

Christen: Babe, we have been together for 18 months straight Tobin: Yeah, but that was a big circle of hugs, you were too far away 🥺

[equalpay4betterplay]

Tobin: I just like when people love the little things about me

CP: Well, I really love your quarks

Tobin: ???

Mewie: Quark. It’s the smallest particle of matter in the universe

CP: Cause it's the littlest--

Tobin: Thing to love about me. Got it

Mewie:...Cool. I’m gonna go now

[sauciest-sonny]

[at disneyland on the teacup ride]

christen and ali: *spinning slowly and enjoying the ride while having a conversation*

tobin and ash: *speeding past them, spinning at max speed, screaming*

[reebasauerbrunn]

ash: sonnett?

emily: *sigh* lindsey used to call me sonnett

ash: yeah cuz it’s your fucking name

[womeninsoccerpartiii]

Introducing the new kits...

• Thunder bolt of lightning, very very frightening- sky blue

• ‘We got a black kit’- Portland

•What’s that coming over the hill?- Utah Royals

• ‘Let’s be original, put the stripes horizontally!’-Washington

• #Vamos Orlando (or not)

• Coming in like a flaming hot Cheeto- The Dash

• ‘Just add stripes’- The courage

• ‘Did we hire anyone to design the kits this year?’- OL Reign

• ‘We may have lost in the finals, but we won with this kit design’- Chicago.

[incorrectwoso]

emily sonnett: someone would need to blatantly tell me they’re flirting or else i’m oblivious.

lindsey horan: ha, yeah. i’ve been flirting with you for years and you’ve never known.

sonnett: see, just like that! if someone ever likes me can you tell them to tell me like that?

[aj521z]

[incorrectnwsl]

Emily Sonnett: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year... is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

Lindsey Horan: Thanks...?

[incorrectnwsl]

Kelley O'Hara: I apologize for saying "fuck" in front of Charlie. Alex Morgan: You just said it again. Kelley: I am not a role model.

[incorrectnwsl]

Lynn Williams: I pull guys.

Kristie Mewis: I pull girls.

Kelley O'Hara: And I pull on the push door because I'm an idiot.

[incorrectnwsl]

Megan Rapinoe: I'm a huge supporter of things which annoy misogynistic white men. Pinoe: Like me.

[incorrectnwsl]

Emily Sonnett: What do you call a dictionary that's addicted to drugs?

Lindsey Horan: If you say "addictionary," I swear to God I'll kill you.

Sonny: Well, I was going to say "high definition," but yours is better.

[incorrectnwsl]

New Coach: Please sit down in this chair, Kelley, I’d like to ask you some questions. Alex Morgan *whispering*: Deny everything. Kelley O'Hara: That’s not a chair!

[incorrectnwsl]

Lindsey Horan *texting*: You will machete through this! Lindsey: * make it Lindsey: please don’t machete your way through this Emily Sonnett: Too late.