#maybe a plant nursery would be nice as well

[lord-prey]

The men

[ghoulsister1]

●▪︎We Were Going To Be A Family▪︎●

Dante Sparda x Female Reader. Angst. Hurt/Comfort. TW: Miscarriage. This doesn't start off well. Heartbreak. Dealing with loss. Grief. Dante comforts Reader because Dante is the best and most sweetest half-Devil husband. There is hope. There is a happy ending I promise.

⚠️Warning: This story contains and features the topic of miscarriage. Miscarriage is a very sensitive subject to some people, so if you are uncomfortable with this subject in any way, please do not read. Please note this is my first time writing such a topic, I do not want to come off as offensive or insensitive in anyway so please understand. Thank you.⚠️

Requested by @xx-scene-queen-of-vampires-xx

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The day you were told you were pregnant was you and Dante's most exciting moment. You and Dante prepped and got everything ready in anticipation for the baby. Until one day, you awoke to the worst case scenario every expecting mother fears. Now you are unsure how to proceed in the aftermath. But your loving husband Dante isn't going to let you go through this alone.

You remember the day you told Dante to take you to the hospital after you woke up to throw up last night's take-out and realising your monthly was late.

You remember sitting nervously in the waiting room with Dante, anxiously biting your nails and Dante tapping his foot nervously as you both awaited results. Then the doctor called you both in.

You remember feeling nervous until the doctor told you the words.

"You are pregnant"

You remember looking at Dante, nervously. Then you felt joy at seeing Dante give you the biggest, most happiest grin ever and you both shared a joyful laughter as he picked you up and spun you around, holding gently on to you as you giggled.

Dante leaned forward and planted a big kiss on your head.

"I'm gonna be a Dad" Spoke Dante excitingly and softly.

"I'm gonna be a Mom" You Gasped, feeling the excitement bubbling.

"A badass Mom!" Remarked Dante winking at you as you giggled.

"And you, a badass Dad" You Replied back and kissed Dante with happy tears in your eyes.

Everything went great. Dante told Vergil and Nero about it, you told the girls Kyrie, Trish, Nico and Lady. Patty and Morrison stopped by to give their congratulations and you couldn't be happier.

The weeks flew by. You and Dante were building the nursery, Nico and Nero helping Dante build the crib. You didn't know what colour to paint the nursery.

"Pink!" Cried Patty excitedly.

"What if the baby's a boy?" You Asked Patty sweetly.

"Blue then!" Patty Replied.

"Yeah but we don't know if the baby's a girl or boy" Dante Remarked. You nodded as the baby's gender was still unknown.

"How about a different colour than the traditional colours? Maybe a nice bright yellow?" You Suggested.

"Or a flaming hot red?" Suggested Dante.

"How about green?" Patty Asked.

"Green? That actually sounds nice. Green is a lovely colour" You Replied smiling softly as Patty danced around excitingly. For an 18 year old, Patty was still full of beans as ever.

Kyrie took you shopping, picked out cute baby clothes and maternity clothes. Looking at the purchased baby shoes, your heart raced excitedly as you thought of the baby, waddling around in these shoes.

You and Dante attended appointments with the doctors and made sure to take your prenatals. Everything was going great. You and Dante were looking forward to the day you'd meet your child.

It was all going well......until it wasn't. One morning, you woke up to blood staining the bedsheets and pain shooting through you. Panic immediately set in. It was too early, far too early for the baby.

You were rushed to hospital and down the hospital's hallways as Dante held your hand throughout. You turned to the doctor, begging for answers.

"Doctor, it's too early for the baby! It's too early! Is something wrong?!" You Cried, panicking.

"Everything's all right, we're gonna help you" The Doctor would say but you didn't feel reassured. The doctors wheeled you into the room and Dante was made to wait outside the room.

After a hour or so, the doctor came out and told Dante the most heart crushing news no expecting father to be has to hear.

"Your wife has suffered a miscarriage. I'm very sorry Mr. Sparda. This is a very difficult situation and I understand if you need a moment or two" Explained the doctor.

Dante's heart sank. The child you and Dante made together, the child you both were eager to meet, was gone. Not even beginning to live and already their life was snuffed out.

And Y/N? Oh god was she okay?

"My wife! How's is she? Please tell me she's alright" Asked Dante tearfully.

"Your wife's condition is stable. She'll be alright. Though this unfortunate news will not be easy to take in. Let her rest first, in the morning you can go in to her. She'll need you when we tell her the unfortunate news" Explained the doctor.

And Dante was there, holding your hand as you screamed and cried upon hearing the news. Dante held you close as you sobbed into his chest, your heart utterly broken. Dante's eyes welled up with tears and he too quietly sobbed with you. But there was one thing you wanted to know.

"Was it a girl? Or a boy?" You Asked tearfully.

The doctor looked at his notes and looked at you with sympathy.

"It was a girl" Answered the doctor and a wave of hot tears came over you and Dante as you both held on to each other and cried.

When you were cleared to go home, you felt like a zombie. You'd walk past the nursery and see the crib, empty and cold. The green paint and design of the room mocked you, the toys you received from friends and family, taunting you. Worst was holding the shoes you picked out for the baby, it's small size making your heart shatter all over again as fresh tears welled in your eyes as you clutched the baby shoes close to your chest and sobbed.

"This wasn't supposed to happen! We were supposed to be a family! Why did this happen to us? Why?" You Sobbed loudly.

Dante came upstairs and took you into his arms as you both sat on the floor of the nursery.

"I'm sorry Dante" You Whimpered.

"Hey, don't say that. Don't ever apologise for something that we couldn't control. You did everything right, you ate good and took your prenatals. We went to the appointments, we did everything we could" Explained Dante as he held you in his arms.

"But why? We were gonna be a family. We were gonna have a little girl" You Sniffled.

"I don't know why babe. I wish I knew, some people would say it wasn't meant to be but I honestly don't know what to say to make this better. Maybe there's nothing to say to make this all better. But i know one thing. I love you Y/N and I know this feeling won't heal overnight but I promise I'll be here by your side. You don't have to go through this alone. We'll do this together, I promise you Y/N" Declared Dante.

You both looked into each other's teary eyes.

"We'll get through this" Dante Assured you.

"Together?" You Asked, feeling so much love for your husband in that moment and even though the pain will not go away overnight, you knew you didn't have to go through this alone.

"Always" Replied Dante and together you both shared a comforting embrace, tears falling from both each other's eyes.

That was 3 years ago and looking back on that terrible moment, you were thankful for your husband. Friends and family came together for you two and with their support, your recovery from this traumatic chapter in your lives began. It was a slow recovery, there were times where things got hard but you and Dante had each other and slowly you both pulled through.

To help with copying with the loss, You and Dante kept the pregnancy scan photos, along with a pink hair ribbon, a pair of baby shoes and a small teddy in a decorative box on the mantlepiece, a sort of memorial to the little girl you and Dante were hoping to meet. You both named her "Danielle".

3 years on and you both pulled through, stronger and closer than ever. You looked over to the mantlepiece and smiled softly.

You then turned to the window and smiled when you felt Dante's arms wrap around you.

"Hey babe" Purred Dante happily as he nuzzled your neck lovingly.

"Hey honey" You Replied and turned to kiss your husband's scruffy cheek. You both chuckled and continued looking out the window, deep in thought.

"Something on your mind?" Asked Dante softly.

"Nothing much. Just....." You Began but stopped yourself. Dante frowned, confused.

"What's wrong babe?" Asked Dante turning you around to face him. You felt unsure how to tell him what you were thinking.

"It's just......" You Began.

"Go on" Spoke Dante softly.

"I wanna try again" You Answered.

Dante looked shocked, then surprised.

"You mean, try for a baby?" Dante Asked nervously. You nodded.

"I think I'm ready. But if you're not, we can always wait Dante" You Assured him, smiling softly.

"Only if you are sure you're ready babe" Said Dante.

"I am" You Confirmed, confident.

"Alright then. Shall we take this upstairs?" Asked Dante, smirking. You giggled softly and let Dante carry you upstairs.

"Yes, my darling husband" You Remarked and you two proceeded upstairs.

A few weeks later, you were confirmed to be pregnant. Naturally you and Dante were nervous, given what happened 3 years ago. But soon it was apparent, this time was going to be different.

9 months later, you gave birth to a beautiful boy. You and Dante named him Julian. And you both promised little Julian that when he grows up, you will tell him about his sister who went on to become an angel and watch over you, Dante and baby Julian.

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❤️‍🩹Okay, so that was a lot of angst. And I due to the subject of the story, I decided to put in a happy ending for reader and Dante. It would feel wrong of me to leave it here without giving it at least a happy ending❤️‍🩹

Thanks again for the request👍❤️

[m3r1m4r5u333]

I've seen some speculation about either Eddie or Chris maybe getting hurt, and Buck and Eddie having financial trouble. I'm combining these to create a wilder theory!

Buck would have financial trouble because living prices have gone up (it was on the news he was watching while he looked at some papers, possibly bills), and like Tommy hinted, his condo is impressive for his salary, and also now he's trashed a very nice hotel room SUITE with the help of Eddie, and some randos - who have since fucked off and are unlikely to be found again...!!!!

Like holy shit, did you guys see the end result, there was even some shit on the CEILING? Hotels fee for damage like this mercilessly because they cannot room people in that space while they clean and renovate. So it's not just about replacing damaged property, and sending the bill for the new stuff they had to buy!!

Nope, they lose money not only from the new furnishings and materials needed, labour needed to do the repairs...

-- but also for the hotel days needed to fix the mess, from needing to cancel someone else's stay and losing the money for each day of their stay, and also possibly compensating them for whatever costs (travels, the price of another room etc.) this unexpected last minute room cancelation triggered!!

I looked up the bill of a real "hangover party" like this, it was on the news. The bill, the money that hotel charged for this fine party of pigs was nearly 100K!! The pigs were SUED!

So looks like Buck is fucked, that bill will be insane.

And Eddie? He's basically a single dad of a child with health issues, also living on a firefighter's salary - in a fairly big, nice house! (He just kicked Marisol out, they would not share a wallet.)

He's also into BUYING VERY STUPID CARS for his income,

and took part in the demolition of that very expensive hotel suite, too, he will certainly be held responsible!

So they're both fucked, both running into financial trouble!

And the theory about either Eddie or Chris getting hurt, and the titles of the upcoming episodes; Ashes, ashes and All fall down: the theme being nursery rhymes - those two lines are from a famously creepy one...

What if the DIAZ house burns down? That could be BAD btw, Chris doesn't move very fast.

And when they survive (shut up, they will), they'll need a place to live!!

Well, Buck would open his home to them, wouldn't he, he loves them, he has that condo, he's partly responsible for their financial ruin, and could also benefit from sharing the living costs!!!

But Chris can't really use the stairs can he? And that's where the sleeping space is, upstairs.

So tadaaaaah, Chris sleeps downstairs, and Eddie and Buck will share the bed 😁 Because obvs they're the best platonic buds eva and Eddie totally doesn't panic about sleeping in the same bed with his best, bisexual male friend...

Yeah. The greatest fucking pine forest of all time has been planted 😇

Oh and Tommy...? How would he not be jealous, his boyfriend now lives like he has a damn husband, and a child. Even if Buck and Eddie don't share a bed, it would still be Eddie, Buck and Chris sharing a home, living in a tight space, like a family.

Btw this probably won't happen but please do write us this fic if you got inspired...

But nobody can say there hasn't been foreshadowing if this does happen!!

Buckley parents, the couch, the talk of stairs in 6x11.

https://youtu.be/KghkBnwidAk?feature=shared

Eddie dropping Chris at Buck's after the tsunami, directing him to the couch...?

[averageanonymous]

Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley have agreed that they won't buy each other gifts for frivolous human holidays. That certainly isn't going to stop them, though.

i.e. Brief Valentine's Day Fluff 🖤🤍

☆~☆~☆~☆~☆

Aziraphale could feel it. This was the one. Settled in a corner, surrounded by arrangements that were full of pink hearts and red balloons, it alone was unadorned. It didn't need any embellishment. The plant was gorgeous. A large, well-established Monstera deliciosa, also known by the name “Thai Constellation” Monstera. They were popular, but this particular variation was quite rare. Its enormous fenestrated leaves, spackled with white and yellow variegation, were full of life, lush, and verdant. Aziraphale had only the most basic experience in caring for houseplants, but he could recognize a beautiful specimen when he saw one. And this one was nothing less than perfect. 

He eagerly made his purchase, and then, upon exiting the nursery with it on a cart (to "take to his car," naturally) he surreptitiously miracled it straight to the bookshop, returned the cart, and began the walk back home. 

His mind wandered as he walked. He thought he had some black and silver ribbon in the back of the shop. He might tie a nice bow around the Monstera’s pot. Or perhaps that would be too much. Maybe somewhat too obvious a gesture. Best to keep it simple. A nice surprise (Oh, my dear, I just happened to wander by a nursery, I spied it through the window, it was nothing, really, didn't even have to go out of my way…) to complement a lovely glass of wine at the bookshop (one of his finer vintages, the ones he kept in the cabinet up in his room) after they went out for a splendid dinner (at the Ritz, of course) and had a quiet stroll through the park (nothing like a casual moonlit stroll to settle a full stomach). 

Aziraphale smiled to himself. He felt almost giddy. There was a fluttering in his middle, what he thought humans referred to cleverly as butterflies in the stomach. He wouldn't think that after literally thousands of years that going out for an evening with Crowley could affect him in such a way. Yet here he was. 

He reached the bookshop. A quick change into his evening attire, a check on the certainly-not-a-Valentine’s-gift Monstera, and he'd be off to the Ritz to meet up with Crowley. He took the steps with a skip, opening the door with a joyful flourish. And froze.

The Monstera had made it to the bookshop just fine. It sat, lovely green shining in the late afternoon sunbeams that filtered through the windows. And standing there, staring at it wide-eyed, was Crowley. 

“Crowley!” Aziraphale cried in alarm, “You were- I thought- Well, you- Ahm,” he trailed off, wringing his hands slightly, and finished weakly, “Weren't we supposed to meet at the restaurant?” 

Crowley gaped at him. Gaped at the plant. Looked between them several times. Then crossed the room in three determined strides and pulled Aziraphale into a crushing embrace. 

“No gifts, angel,” Crowley growled into Aziraphale’s shoulder, arms squeezing him until his lungs began to protest. “That's what we agreed. No. Bloody. Gifts.” 

“Oh, this isn't a gift,” Aziraphale wheezed, “I just…happened…by…” 

Crowley released Aziraphale just enough to let him breathe properly. Aziraphale looked up at him, feeling his face warm under Crowley's bright gaze. “Do you…like it?” Aziraphale asked hesitantly. 

“She's gorgeous,” Crowley said with a shake of his head. He set a hand on Aziraphale’s cheek, and Aziraphale leaned into it, turning just enough to press a kiss to the Demon's palm.

“Incorrigible angel,” Crowley muttered softly, “you just can't help yourself, can you?” 

Aziraphale chuckled, “Old habits, I suppose.” 

Crowley rolled his eyes, pulled Aziraphale back into his arms, and pressed a kiss to his lips that promised more later. 

“Come on, then,” Crowley finally said when they drew apart, both a little flushed and out of breath, “The Ritz won't wait forever.” Then he took the angel's hand in his and dragged him out of the bookshop to the Bentley. 

He opened the door for Aziraphale and Aziraphale was about to thank him when he noticed a black box on the seat. It was a few inches deep and around six inches long. He leaned in and took it, raising an eyebrow at Crowley as he straightened. 

“No gifts, hm?” Aziraphale said coyly. He lifted the lid. The smell of chocolate wafted out.

“It barely counts,” Crowley huffed as Aziraphale lifted the small stack of artisan chocolate bars from the box. Each was wrapped in thick, beautifully designed paper with detailed descriptions of the origin of the ingredients, the flavors that could be detected in each bar, the journey those ingredients took to become the precious ounces of chocolate in his hands. Crowley would have had to search for these chocolate bars. They were practically art themselves. 

“Crowley,” Aziraphale sighed, “You're far too good to me.” 

“Oh, shut up,” Crowley huffed, a smile tugging at his lips. “Will you please get in so we can go, angel.” 

So Aziraphale did, gently placing the chocolate back in its box, and laying it in the back seat so he was free to reach across and take Crowley's hand in his, lacing their fingers together. The butterflies fluttered pleasantly in his stomach. His heart beat a joyful rhythm in his chest. Aziraphale sighed contentedly. It was going to be a wonderful night. 

-----

Thanks for reading! Happy Valentine's Day!

[like-the-rest-of-la]

WIP Wednesday

I've been tagged by @mellaithwen @capseycartwright and @rewritetheending - thank you sooo much ❤️❤️❤️😘 - as always, have another little piece of the plant nursery fic 🪴 (we're finally getting closer to the ending 😭🙌)

"Oh," the brunette woman says and points a finger at him, "you're Eddie,” and to Buck, “That's Eddie?"

Eddie's gaze flickers between them. 

“Uhh, yeah that's me,” he stammers at the same time that Buck hisses, “Maddie!” 

The woman – Maddie apparently – ignores Buck and rounds the counter. She grabs a purse and her phone along the way and stops in front of them. 

Her smile is big, bright, welcoming, a little bit cheeky, and it kind of reminds him of–

“Eddie, meet my sister, Maddie. Maddie, this is Eddie,” Buck helpfully supplies, along with a sigh that only true sibling-exasperation can conjure. 

And, yeah, that explains a lot. Eddie smiles tentatively at her and her grin grows.

"Nice to meet you, my brother's been praising yo-"

"Maddie," Buck repeats, his cheeks suddenly bright pink.

Eddie's eyes widen and he hopes, once again, that maybe he isn't the only one in here with an undeniable crush.

"-your plant-progress," Maddie finishes, holding up her hands, while Buck mumbles an "Oh my God," to the ceiling.

"Erm, thank you?" Eddie says.

"Anyways, would you look at the time-" Maddie makes a big deal out of looking at a non-existent watch on her wrist and if Eddie wasn't so jittery, he would've laughed out loud- "I need to leave. My shift starts in – wow, three whole hours – and LA traffic, well, you know how it is."

She squeezes Buck's arm, leans in and presses a small kiss on his cheek, before she walks towards the door. 

I'm gonna tag @nymika-arts @renecdote @princessfbi @buckactuallys @spotsandsocks and @andavs if you want to and haven't already 🌻💛

[jjdogasaur]

Prismatic War Chapter 2 - Periled Plants

Guess what, I'm back, now it is time for suffering again

Ashlyn walked down the untouched road outside the Safe Sound Shelter, admiring the lovely sights. She admired the butterflies, the beautiful flowers, and not a single Prismatic in sight! However, she still held onto the teleportation ray Dr. Grooph handed her just in case any Prismatic happened to attack her, but that idea was just an afterthought in her mind. Suddenly, she had stopped upon a small home inside a hill. She found it strange, as while the windows were boarded up, and the door seemed to not budge, the adjacent garden had shown attempts of growing crops, but appeared to have been stomped, devoured, and poisoned. Was someone inside? She approached and knocked on the door, calling for the resident.

“Hello? Is anyone here? You don’t need to worry, I’m a nice monster, I won’t hurt you!” A deep, but soft and weakened voice replied shakily. “S-S-Spiky, darling, H-Have you returned?! Wait… Are you one of those Prismatics playing a trick on me…? DON’T COME IN!! YOU’VE TORN MY FAMILY APART ALREADY!!! Please…”

Ashlyn was confused. She knew she would have to go in through somewhere else, but where? But then, an idea sprang into her mind.

“I know, I’ll enter through the chimney!” Ashlyn chirped up.

She made her ascent up the hill towards where the chimney was set, moved the guard preventing possible intruders… and down she went into the home. Ashlyn explored the quaint, but almost abandoned looking house. Every place that could be used to store food was nearly empty, and everything was covered in dust and cobwebs. Ashlyn entered a bedroom, and there, she had discovered the origin of the voice. A Flowah, who appeared to be on his knees, was keeled over and gripping his stomach in hunger. Three baby Barrbs, who appeared to still be in a larval stage surrounded the poor monster, attempting to comfort him. Ashlyn attempted to question the Flowah..

“Excuse me…”

“N-N-No… NO! Please, only take me, *sniff* don’t hurt my children, they’ve been through enough already…”

“Hey, I’m not going to take you! And who’s Spiky?” “My partner. They said that they would be going into the forest to gather more food, but it’s been weeks, and we’re almost out. I would go out for myself, but I’m so scared… What will happen to my children? I’m so hungry, I might not make it back in time, what if a Prismatic finds me?”

Ashlyn replied, “What about the monsters running the Safe Sound Shelter? They would have given you something to keep your family fed, wouldn’t they?” Flowah sighed deeply as he fell to the floor.

“I tried convincing them all I could, but General Entman and Sir Conberg told me that there ‘wasn’t any room in the nursery’, and that my scent could attract my partner, who they believed had become a Prismatic at this point. Boskdrool! They have so many monsterlings in that thing, they could afford to hold 3 more, and if the SSS is so safe, then why should those buffoons be so concerned about one prismatic being lured in by my scent?!”

Ashlyn exclaimed, “But, that couldn’t be true! Maybe there was a misunderstanding, General Entman wouldn’t abandon a fellow monster, would he?”

“I can tell you have too much faith in Entman to make everything right, all that monster is going to do is abandon those who need him most, that will have severe consequences one day,” Flowah said, as Ashlyn looked on, pondering on his words. Could Entman really be that bad? No! He couldn’t, maybe it was just a misunderstanding. But she still felt a resounding pity for Flowah.

“Well, maybe I can help! I can get you and your kids food and find Spiky, does that sound warming?” Ashlyn piped up happily. Flowah looked up with concern and hope.

“Oh, that would warm my heart and my stomach indeed… but don’t you seem a little young to-” He was immediately cut off by Ashlyn, who was somewhat appalled by the insinuation that she was too young to help. 

“Where did Spiky last go? I’ll keep my eyes sharper than a wide-awake Glowl!” 

Flowah looked down at the ground, feeling as if he was at fault for Spiky’s disappearance.

“They said that they were going to collect fruit in the Razzli Forest, and haven't returned since. I had originally thought they were just lost, but now, I think it might be worse…” 

“Don’t worry, Mr. Flowah!” Ashlyn said confidently. “I think Spiky will be okay, the worst that could happen is maybe they just got stuck inside some bushes, or fell asleep inside a Sweetstreamz tree!” She was doing her best to calm down Flowah, but as she began to leave for the Razzli Forest, she could hear Flowah break out in tears, sobbing louder than a Yelmut could yell. And off she went, to the Razzli Forest…

[samael-your-guardian-angel]

((Information about Samael!))

Name: Samael

Nicknames/Aliases: Planter of the Tree of Knowledge, Guardian Angel, Sam, Sammy J Gardener

Age/Date of Birth/Place of Birth: Older than time/Before time began/Heaven

Species: Angel

Gender/Pronouns: Technically agender, fine with corporation being seen as “male”, he/him

Sexuality: Technically asexual, sex-positive (in a demisexual sort of way) (Momo only!)

Appearance: Samael looks much like Crowley does; tall, lean, with red hair. He’s had just as many weird (meaning period-accurate) hairstyles as Crowley, but he prefers it long. In modern times, he often wears it up in a bun. Has normal, brown eyes, but enjoys novelty sunglasses that would make Crowley cringe. Loves wearing graphic tees with puns on them (example: a cartoon haloed avocado with the caption “Holy guacamole!”). Usually in street fashion in angelic colours of whites, creams, and tans. Just as concerned with coming off as “cool” as Crowley, but has a wildly different aesthetic.

Personality/History: A fast-living angel. A ray of sunshine, usually cheerful. Loves to people-watch. Great with kids. Easily distracted. Occasionally plagued with frustration (“why can’t people just be nice to each other?!”) Collects plants to the point where his flat is overrun with flowers, herbs and houseplants in pots, and he barely has room to sit down. (Refuses to sit in a chair properly anyway.) Has a bleeding heart for plants that need extra care, and is well known at all the local plant nurseries. All his ceilings are covered with stick-on stars, model solar systems, sky charts, and the like; some of which are hand-made. Drives a white Rolls Royce that refuses to play anything but ABBA, of its own free will. His timeline diverged from Crowley’s (EEAAO-style) because he did not suggest making a suggestion box, and thus did not end up at the Bad Kids table with Lucifer and the guys, and thus did not Fall.

His first assignment on Earth was helping put together the Garden of Eden (not as fun as making nebulae). There was supposed to be a DO NOT TOUCH sign on the tree, but he forgot about it. Got written up for that one. Hung around to watch the humans, was very dismayed to hear about the humans getting kicked out and felt a bit guilty for that. The Serpent, Asmodeus (wait, was he that one angel? THAT GUY FELL???), assured Samael that it wasn’t his fault and he was sure Samael was only doing his best. To hear such compassionate words from a demon (and he’s a demon- how- why- what-?) was fascinating to Samael, and he kind of, sort of, maybe, developed a bit of a crush- okay, he fell in love instantly whatever it’s not a big deal-

Got bored early on Earth, did some weird edgy LARPing to entertain himself, now has an Unfortunate Reputation in religious texts. Asmodeus teases him about it so much, which he finds so embarrassing (“Why does everyone think I’m literally Satan, I’m not, I’m not evil, I don’t go around seducing humans, stop laughing at me it’s not funny-”)

Kept showing up around Asmodeus like a very determined, lost puppy, until Asmodeus admitted that, alright, they were friends, maybe, don’t go spreading it around.

~

[canipetthatdeaddove]

I wish I could understand why it's been so difficult for me to update either blog. Probably just because there's so much going on.

I'm in my 5th week of my first semester of courses - accelerated semesters. At 3 credit hours, I'm considered full-time, and jeezy creezy, it feels like it. Comms and Eco Literacy are the classes, and I feel like I've learned so much in such a short amount of time. The most intimidating thing is learning how to engage research material in an ethical and effective way. Imposter syndrome is going to be very difficult to manage, as is maintaining a high level of personal and academic integrity. I already know I have a tendency to confirm biases, so I need to be prepared to check that regularly. I cheated several times through a college-level course in high school and one of my last-semester course finals in my first go-around in college. Since then, I've learned about how to prevent myself from being in a situation where I might be tempted to cheat in the first place, etc. But I worry about myself. I always will, probably. Probably because I judge myself on a core level about being someone capable of that. That's a whole 'nother discussion.

Aside from the most intimidating thing, the most CHALLENGING thing is maintaining my schedule. Wait, back up, it's actually creating a functional schedule in the first place. A couple of weeks ago, I was 3 days late turning in an assignment because I didn't fully comprehend the timeline or number of submissions an assignment required. 50% deduction. I have precious little room for bullshit mistakes like that on accelerated courses. I'm anxious about this because I was declined funding from the Choctaw nation because in my very last semester at KU (the semester I was spiraling, and, ya know, cheating on exams) I fell below 2.0 gpa (big surprising yeah?). I know I'll manage well above that by the end of this term, but... WORRIES. ALL THE WORRIES.

Aside from school, I'm running my own SMART Recovery meeting finally, still helping out with Wellbriety (that situation has changed SO much and it's very... sobriety testing), volunteering for the PTO, volunteering my time with a native plant nursery, doing the part-time job, making and selling jewelry, still grooming and dog sitting, still gardening and landscaping...

It's so much. It's too much.

I have ended my participation in a leadership program where my "mentor" ghosted my for nearly a month. I just left the voicemail today, so I'll likely be dealing with the fallout of that tomorrow. Maybe I'll blog about it lol.

Today was also my final session with my rehab therapist, and I didn't realize it. So two mentors down in one day. And I'm kind of crushed. The one that ghosted me promised me all this help with getting my finances together, and it was, like, possibly the most valuable carrot you could have dangled in front of me. In a Long List of Things, it's The One Thing that must be tackled before I can start making my dreams come true. It's also the one problem I can't find a single source of help for. Today I went to the library to check out the library databases and just spend time in between appointments NOT BUYING BEADS AT MICHAELS CRAFT STORE and perused the finances section. Not a single book on basic budgeting. It was all how-to-get-rich stuff.

And while yeah I'm definitely taking note for, like, the FIFTH non-profit I need to create to address this educational shortcoming for adults in recovery, I would like to not have to do something entirely from the ground up. A mentor would be so, SO nice. It seems demanding or needy, but I need someone to sit with me once a week, twice a month maybe, and help me create and go over my books with me until I've gained the skill and accountability to do it myself. The credit counselor said, "You need to start with a budget."

Sir. SIR. There is a big ol' gap between where I'm at and competently creating and following a budget. There's like... many steps. And maybe most people learned those steps from a parent, or in some way had access to that education in a way that impacted their behavior patterns, but many many people did not. And from what I can tell, those folks and myself are utterly left behind by almost every program. State aid, DCF, EBT, TANF, Bridges Over Poverty, none of these government or non-profit private sector agencies provides financial literacy/competency training. I asked my regular therapist where I could start from a behavioral stand point, and while we did come to a solution-based answer by the end of the session, there were crickets for several minutes while I challenged my therapist to tell me something other than "start with a budget". I'm seeking and trying and still not gaining any ground on this. It's depressing because it's interconnected to so many other things, but just living in poverty in general. It inhibits my ability to do so much.

Anyway, there's been a lot of isolation despite being busy. I'm lonely to the max, and trying to stand up for myself lately has been draining. I'm not good at it, I never know if the timing is correct or if its justified, if I'm doing it the right way or did I just ruin a connection/friendship, etc. I can't tell if I'm being negative laying out my challenges or just being real.

I do know that I'm in full relapse-mode, and I've been mindful of the substance cravings. I have 7 days to go before I reach 1 year sobriety.

There have been good and wonderful things lately, too - took my daughter to a Bee Fest, all the lovely time spent out at Lake Cheney working with native plants, my beadwork, a glorious morning walk the other day, fall and my garden, and all the growth I've experienced.

I miss being here, though. It's such a regular part of my processing and emotional health to have my blogs, and it's largely absent right now and I feel it pretty hard. In all of this "becoming", it's hard to spend any time just "being".

The olive oil store (part time job) got robbed while I was in it. (A widow's mite. It's a xtian owned shop so of course there were widow's mites.) I'm really tired of xtian music but could dedicate a whole blog post to it XD The robbing thing was weird. Ren fest this coming weekend. Hope I get to go!

I miss you folks. I appreciate knowing that anyone is still keeping an eye out for me at all. The holidays are on the horizon and like all good bi-polars, it's time to get crazy. But I gotta try and not this year and stay stable and sober, and I should try and learn on this space for some grounding. Okay I gotta stick to that sleep schedule - sometimes its the only thing between me and oblivion lol.

[guessimate]

I don't know what it is, but the Asian part of my town is just cursed with broken households. And I could have seen this coming for the Siews, since the last round Yutaka was not controllable... Well, now he becomes completely uncontrollable, because he's abandoning his family... But before that I had to give them just one more baby, so that the two single moms in town are not too similar, and because I need more kids.

Unfortunately, because he leaves, Saku will need to inevitably quit her job, but not this round - I'll let her take all the maternity pay she can as a 'retirement' payment (that's the only free money my sims get, and I know that's not accurate, but I allow it).

Both the baby and mother survive. And yes, finally we have the first baby girl! I called her Yune. She has black hair and brown eyes.

Her older brother, Yong, turned out to be a Capricorn. He's as Neat, Outgoing and Nice as his mom (6). He's also 1 Lazy (like his dad), and max Playful (his dad has 8 playful points). Although he aged up 'bald', I just had to give the todd some hair, because I'm pretty sure he got the tall forehead of his mother's... I use this mirror toddlers can play with and change apperance with.

Saku only managed to help potty train Yong before she gave birth, so she only taught him to walk after the baby was born. She managed to teach him to talk too (thank God it was autumn). I don't think he'll be able to pick up the Nursery Rhyme before he ages up though, as it'll be his last day as a toddler next round. Yong got quite a lot of body points on the toy at least (probably too many for a toddler).

~*~

Saku was going to work when she and her husband were trying to conceive. l booted Yutaka out as soon as she got pregnant for the final time. The couple had to try for baby twice, because the first baby was not meant to be.

From time to time Shime Yu comes over to visit her friend Saku Siew. They are both single moms now. If I really wanted to, I could probably open a nursery... or have Shime watch over the kids. I'm sure they would be willing to help each other out, but they will both have home businesses, which they should attend to in their own homes.

~*~

She earned 1875$, as it was a full season's round (5 paychecks). I'm going to say she's a retired dancer who is getting a golden handshake... She will have to open the store next round at least once. I think the sims might really need some fresh produce and maybe tea in the winter season.

750$ - tax

500$ - rent

188$ - tithe

She needs to pay 1400$... 3800$ total with the last round's earnings. She had some money left, but I decided to at least buy the necessary shelving etc. to set up her store, so that she wouldn't waste it all at a neighbours' stalls. She already had 3 flower bouquets and 7 fish in her inventory from all the shopping.

Saku Siew will be the only person in town selling tea canisters and harvestables. Everyone is allowed to grow these, but only she will sell them. My sims are not actually getting that many harvestable plants now, as I use the seed mod + mod your dig, so they can only plant what they find, and I use the seasonal Sun&Moon plants, which don't give that many crops.

Funny side note: it was really funny to me because of all the maternity payments Saku got the memory of earning 5000$... while sitting on the chamber pot. I failed to take a screenshot, because she had a wrong outfit on (she had just got another baby bump).

[trainerspiral]

When I wake a few hours later, the sun is setting. I sit up, feeling completely refreshed. Pecha juice straight from the Shuckle, while disturbing, really does the trick. I'm not even groggy.

The first thing I do is reach for Coba's Pokeball, wanting to check if he's injured, but both his ball and the V4ST's are nowhere to be found. Heart rate rising, I bolt for the door and barrel straight into a person. When the shock of the impact clears, I find myself looking down at a stringy young man sitting on the ground in exasperation. A wooden tray, a bowl of rice and veggies and a cup of water are scattered around him.

"Oh...oh man. Sorry." I reach out to help him up. "Really sorry."

He pushes a mop of green hair out of his face and takes my hand with a grimace. "Guess you're feeling better," he grunts as I pull him back to his feet.

I kneel down to help him gather the fallen items. "I uh...my Pokemon?" I manage through the haze of embarrassment.

"All healed up and playing in the garden." He gives me a lopsided smile, then a curious frown. "Have you been here before? You look familiar."

I sigh. "I'm former Kalos Champion Spiral."

"Oh! Yeah...maybe that's..." He squints. "You were knocked out by a Silcoon?"

"Long story," I mutter. My face is on fire.

He gives me a curious look and shrugs. "Well, I'm Forrest. Nice to meet you." We shake hands, and he continues, "I'll take you to your Pokemon."

I follow him out into beautiful evening air. The sweet smell of berries floats over the rich musk of well-tended earth. To my right, rows of berry trees, aglow in the rosy light, peer over the top of a gated stone wall. Around me, a charming pathway of smooth stones leads through a modestly sized but abundant garden - more like a nursery, really, so full of lush potted trees and flowers that I can't see from one end to the other. Forrest leads me along toward an ivy-laden wooden awning peering over the greenery.

Just when I'm feeling my blood pressure drop, I hear a familiar squeal, an angry snarl, and a series of beeps. I bolt past Forrest toward the sound, soon coming upon a vegetable garden neatly laid out with worn wooden beams dividing the plots. The plots are all green with vegetables except one, which has been reduced to a big conical hole surrounded by torn-up plants and humps of earth. A Lombre stands over the hole, squawking and waving its arms and jumping up and down. The V4ST spins overhead, giving a running commentary in beeps.

I hear Forrest let out a dismayed exclamation behind me as I slap myself in the forehead. "Coba!" I call sharply.

The end of a blue snout pokes out from the hole, and the Lombre stumbles back with a startled yelp as Coba charges out of the hole and puts his muddy front paws on my shin, squealing with joy.

Forrest is staring blankly at the damage, his hands at his sides. "I didn't think Trapinch would burrow in wet soil."

I sigh, gathering Coba into my arms in spite of the mud. "Yeah, he's a weird one. I'm so sorry. Please let me h--"

I jump a foot in the air as the V4ST, suddenly inches from my head, whistles. I glare at it, but Coba squeaks with excitement and strains forward in my arms. The V4ST dips in the air, stretching its beak toward him.

"Hey!" I snap. "Get away from him!"

The V4ST pulls back, giving me a blank look and a low, flatulent beep. Forrest's eyebrows lift at my tone, and I feel myself heating up with embarrassment again.

"Sorry," I mumble. "Let me...show me where their Pokeballs are, and then please let me help you clean this up. Maybe we can fix it before--"

"Your Pokeballs are right here, youngster," a gravelly voice behind me says. I yelp and spin around to find the old man holding out my Pokeballs. "And don't trouble yourself about the garden. My great-grandson here can right his own mistakes."

"But sir--"

"I'll fix it tomorrow, Gramps," Forrest says, holding a hand up to me.

"Tomorrow is for tomorrow's chores, youngster. Won't take you more than an hour."

"I'm patrolling the orchard tonight, Gramps, remember? The radio said there was a chance of an outbreak."

"Outbreak?" I frown, tucking Coba and the V4ST back into my pocket.

"Glenda will take care of all that," the old man says.

"Glenda's not here. She went down to Verdanturf for a contest. It's just me," Forrest says with well-practiced patience.

"Ah? That so?" The old man tugs his beard thoughtfully, staring off for a long moment.

"Maybe I could fix the garden while you patrol?" I ask Forrest in a tentative voice. "I'm not a professional, but I did have my own garden before--"

"Ah! Of course." I whip around to find the old man's hooded eyes fixed on me. "This youngster here can help."

"Absolutely. Just show me where the shovels are and I'll--"

"No, no, you won't need any shovel for patrolling. Just your Pokemon."

"Patrol?" I squawk. "Hold on...I don't think I can...my Trapinch doesn't know how to fight, and the Porygon2 is--"

"Pish! All Pokemon know how to fight, youngster. It's you that doesn't know how to fight. And the only way to learn is by doing."

"Wh...hey! I do too know how to--"

"Pokemon might have trouble understanding your words, youngster," he continues, raising a finger, "but they understand your heart just fine. With a strong heart, there's nothing you and your Pokemon can't do."

"My heart? Seriously, it's not--"

"Be dark in not a moment. Forrest, show this youngster what needs doing. I've got to go tend the Shuckles." He gives me a nod. "You'll do fine, youngster. Trust in your Pokemon, and in yourself. Do a good job and there's a rare berry in it for you!" He winks.

"Now hold on! You might think I'm some youngster, but I'll have you know I'm the former Champion of--he's not listening." The old man is walking away toward the house, humming to himself.

Forrest shrugs, half apologetic and half amused. "Yeah, sorry. There's no winning an argument with a hundred-and-three-year-old."

"A hundred and--" I stop, gears turning. The carefully tended garden and berry orchard. The promise of a rare berry. I turn and take in the lovely old red-roofed house for the first time, and find it distantly familiar.

"The Berry Master," I say in disbelief. "Your great-grandfather is the Berry Master."

Forrest grins. "The one and only. I'm guessing you have been here before, after all?"

"Yeah...a long time ago." I shake my head. "I can't believe he's still...I mean...he's not retired?"

"Well, he can't do everything like he used to, obviously," Forrest says, "especially since my great-grandma passed. But he won't give it up, so my sister and my parents and I help out when we can, and sometimes young trainers will do things for him in exchange for berries."

"Which includes me, I guess," I grumble.

Forrest laughs. There's not a trace of meanness in it, and his good nature helps me shrug off some of my ingrained tension and shame. But I'm still worried.

"My Trapinch really doesn't know how to fight," I say. "Until a few days ago, I had given up on Pokemon entirely."

"Your Porygon2 seems pretty strong."

I shake my head, shivering. "I don't think I can rely on it."

"It saved you from the Silcoon," he says gently. "Maybe you're being too hard on it."

I frown, but he's right. The V4ST's only real job is to monitor Coba, but it seems it's also willing to fight for us when we're in trouble.

"Besides," Forrest says, "there's a good chance you won't have to fight. We put up a pretty solid wall around the orchard last month, and we spray Repel along the perimeter. Not much gets in anymore."

I look at his kind face, and I know I can't refuse. These people saved my life, and if it's likely paying them back will cost nothing more than a sleepless night, I don't have any excuse to turn them down save cowardice.

"Okay," I say. "What do I need to do?"

@novelistash

[butcherlarry]

Exercise Fic Rec 10

This is my tenth week doing this!  And still going strong!  I though as a special treat, I would rec some of my favorite fics from the first fandom I got into, Hannibal.  But first, exercise fic recs!  I finished up my reread of “the cost of being a good dad” but then a *new* Superbat fic by Mawiiish was dropped.  I was Very Excited.  In the new fic, both Bruce and Clark are so dumb about their feelings.  So, so dumb.  It was great!  The third fic “end of the line” was written in the point of view of a drunk person who tried to get in a fight with Clark Kent.  Bruce is there to try to sooth things out.  Shenanigans ensue.  The next two fics are still in progress, but the updates were fun to read as I was exercising!

the cost of being a good dad by Mawiiish

Sure Thing by Mawiiish

end of the line by TheResurrectionist

Patroclus by LilyFlowerBat

Just A Little Bit... by HaleHathNoFury

Like I mentioned above, Hannibal was the first fandom I got into and started reading fan fics.  I remember reading the books as a teen and enjoyed them (I was a weird kid, don’t judge me), so when I heard there was a TV show, I was intrigued.  I think I watched the first couple episodes then stopped, but I kept on seeing gif sets, fan art, and memes on Tumblr, so I started watching again.  Then I started reading all the fan fic people were recommending on Tumblr.  It soon went all downhill from there for me, lol.

As someone with a meat science background, I always found the Hannibal books and TV show so interesting.  I remember when Hannibal and Will were discussing meat tasting “frightened”, and my meat sci brain perked up.  Short-term stress in hogs can cause a meat quality issue called PSE (pale, soft, and exudative (watery)).  Long-term stress can cause another meat quality issue in hogs and cattle called DFD (dark, firm, and dry).  I feel like if Hannibal was going to run into meat quality issues with his uhhh, preferred protein, it would probably be PSE, since what he’s hunting is undergoing short term stress.  Well, unless he decides to play with his food for a few days, then maybe he would get DFD meat.  If I remember correctly, he does reference a “metallic taste”, and that’s more prevalent in DFD meat.  PSE meat would be so dry and tough to eat, and not have a nice reddish-pink color.  He would probably have to grind and mix it with other proteins to make something tasty.  

All of these fics are Hannigram, except for “He Who Pours Out Vengeance”, but you can read that one as Hannigram (I think the second story in the series is slash, but it’s uncompleted).  Not going to lie, after going through my old bookmarks to find these, I’m really tempted to reread a few (and by few, I mean all, haha).

Anyway, here are some of my favorite Hannibal Fics!

Ladders series by emungere

What Dreams series by emungere

Blackbird by emungere

Page Six by ThisBeautifulDrowning

Pattern Break by ThisBeautifulDrowning

He Who Pours Out Vengeance by Underground

Shark Tank by xzombiexkittenx

Overcoming by purefoysgirl (I may or may not have this one in book form when the author published it. (I totally do.  They hold a special place on my book shelf))

There are plenty more favorites that I have, but these are just a few.  My AO3 page has all of my fan fic bookmarks, just sort for Hannibal if you want to check them out 😄

My obligatory coffee and pastry photo:

Spring is showing up at the arboretum! 

I just really like this tree that was along the river:

The moss along the path was kinda neat:

This is my favorite spot along the path and I always take pictures here:

A nice picture of a white-breasted nuthatch:

I also stopped by the local plant nursery and got some more flowers to feed my plant addiction.  I almost got a citrus tree, but I was strong and resisted (No I wasn’t, the only reason why I didn’t buy one because they were 60 dollars 😔)

[silentanomaly]

Long post.

Today is a good day, and I want to take a moment to express appreciation on here. I don't often talk about more positive things when I do type out posts.

First off, I received The Amulet of Kings. I donned it. It did not fall off. This is an incredible feeling. Mighty big thanks to my bestie, @buttchugger. Happy early birthday to me! I feel very special! I could rant and rave about what this means to me. But, I type a lot as is, when I do.

Second, I got my wheels realigned, and that was far less expensive than I anticipated. I owe my mother dearly. I will always owe her regardless of her assistance with the car. I cannot afford much of late, and I am working on correcting that. It was nice visiting her today while the car was in the shop. She gave me food to bring home. I love my mom!

Third, my homeboy (friend from kindergarten/roommate) shared the news that he has quit smoking tobacco and casual drinking. Only smoking weed now. He also shared that a former friend of mine has quit drinking as well as smoking anything. I was shocked. No more tobacco smoke in the house dirtying everything outside my room, going through the vents, and no more alcoholic empties!!! This will not only be good for him, but, a massive relief on me and my efforts to keep things clean and organized. I hope the consumption of less toxic substances helps him to clear his head and gain better perspectives. Says that he and my former friend are both already feeling a wee bit better. So, good for the both of them, and even those around them!

Fourth, a friend of mine told me I look like Legolas (not from seeing this picture though). I love that. I absolutely aspire to be like an elf, and I relate to sentiments often held by them - more peaceful ones, like in Tolkien's literature. I'm going to hold on to that compliment and remember it fondly. I forget if I ever expressed that to her, my fondness of elves or Tolkien's literature and the LOTR movie trilogy. If I did, I'm glad she remembered and knew just what to say - of which I don't anticipate from people ever (that kind of compliment, that is, people have known what to say to me in the past, credit is due). I would tag her. But, I'm unsure if she is comfortable with that. I refrain, respectfully.

I love today. I'm glad I was awake for all of this. Sidenote: have been consistently working towards bettering my mental health and establishing a better financial situation in the meantime while I make steps towards getting back to work. I really hope I find a means of employment based around horticulture/agriculture, or just generally working with plants. Could be gardening. Could be at a plant nursery. I don't know. I need that though. I've always been one for wanting to grow alongside others who matter to me, and this whole time plants have meant a great deal to me and I've not been helping them grow as much as I'd like to. I am very hopeful for golden opportunities to do so some day! The more I can contribute to the growth of nature, the more I can counter the pollution from the nearby chemical plants and just in general. That has always been my goal when it comes to pursuing a career. I don't want my work to be just for money. I have to do something that benefits the world, even if it is small.

Maybe I'll plant a garden in the front yard this year, if my homeboy doesn't mind. Something I can do in the meantime while I heal. I will take advice from anyone who feels compelled in leaving some for me, in regards to gardening. I know not to plant lilies because I want my garden to be safe for cats. I must have border plants...ferns...and a smattering of colourful flowers. That is the current vague vision. May post updates on that, if I ever get around to it. I have something to look forward to this Spring!

[flowerliker]

Daffodil and Taro for the ask game

@kits-blossoming-days

daffodil ⇢ do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think you’re similar to or different from them?

i have an older sister! her name is juniper but she always just went by june except to me, i always called her junie. i have mentioned this before but we have not talked in a long time though...

in any case though i think we have always been very different people. when we were little i really really admired her for being so brave. junie always said exactly what she thought and would stand up for what she believed and she used to get herself into all sorts of trouble on my behalf standing up for me when i was too afraid to do anything myself. she was always such a strong person in ways that i do not think i ever could be. she always liked battling too in a way that i never did, and she was always more focused when it came to really just about everything, i was a really flighty and fickle kid hehe but junie always knew exactly what she wanted and she stuck right to it!!!

the thing we really had in common though was that junie just had so much love in her to share and i would like to think maybe that is true of me too. junie had a harder time with it i think, and i think maybe other people did not always realize because junie was so brash, but everything she ever did she did because she loved somebody. she did so much to take care of me when we were kids.

it is hard to keep thinking of ways we are similar... like i said junie and i were always very different people. i think we were both really really lucky to be able to love each other so much despite that though.

taro ⇢ if someone called you right now to catch up, what’re the things you’d tell them about?

oh my gosh i feel like if i was asked this question even a month ago i would not really have a good answer because i do not do much with myself hehe, but i have all kinds of nice stories now!!!! i would want to talk them about amy and tom's visit, and how amy and i celebrated tu bishvat by which i mean amy thought they had to buy a tree for me for some reason hehe, and i would talk about how i have invited tom to join me at the upcoming festival for purim and how we are getting our costumes ready. i would want to show them the planter alexander made me, and i am getting started on my spring planting so i would maybe want to talk about my plans depending on who called and if they were interested. and i could tell them about all the pokémon i am taking care of now too!!! of course there is bouton and there are the foster cacnea, but there is buckwheat too, who is so far outside my usual specialties and might even become a permanent pokémon here if everything goes well, which is so exciting and strange because soleil has been my only pokémon for such a long time!!! i would want to talk about vanilla extract who is doing such a good job of keeping the plant nursery nice and cozy warm and how bouton keeps trying to befriend him even though he is in the heater hehe. and even though of course beetroot belongs to amy and i am only babysitting her for a little while hehe she is still in my care for now and i would want to talk about her!!!!

i think if someone did call me to catch up i would worry about talking too much hehe... it is different to have so much going on but it is exciting!!!

[garden-with-squid]

6/21/24 - Summer Solstice Review

The longest day has come and gone. Happy summer! Long review of the year so far under the cut.

Here’s how the crops are doing so far:

Carrots: pretty decent harvest!

Onions: matured too early - small like pearl onions, but they’re tasty and store well. More fertilizer next time.

Berries: didn’t plant them again this year

Broccoli: so tasty! Can squeeze in a second harvest midway through spring.

Potatoes: small June harvest, more compost and more consistent water. Still tasty.

Marigold/calendula: growing well in the edges of the beds.

Mizuna: great winter/spring green

Edamame: set back by squirrel damage. Now setting pods.

Okra: so teeny tiny. Maybe I sowed them too early, or squirrel/heat damage early on?

Watermelon: also slow to start. Had to resow once or twice.

Tomatillo: poor things. One dead, two sick and nearly dying. Harvested about a dozen fruits. Squirrels LOVE eating the fruit. Perhaps planted too close together in one pot.

Tomatoes: 3 transplanted in the grow bags, could’ve been bigger if I potted up earlier. One big volunteer in bed 4.

Green beans: also lots of squirrel damage. Still cooked up a handful and they were delicious.

Cucumber: failed several times, but finally got a strong one alive in bed 1, hoping it takes off soon.

Peppers: some overwintered plants lived. Squirrels like eating the jalapeño leaves. No harvests so far.

Eggplant: spider mite pressure. Japanese eggplant doing ok though and several fruits on the way.

Wow despite how empty the beds are right now, I have grown and harvested many different things.

Not as much rain as last year, but still a good amount. The ollas really helped with keeping consistent moisture. There are some dry spots, but I like it more than irrigation for now.

Lots of bunnies, birds, and bugs in the yard. The dill plants are ladybug nurseries.

I’m also so happy about my flowers this year - I always have fresh cosmos and zinnias for my dad, and two dahlia plants are coming up.

Improvements for next season/year:

These goddamn squirrels. Protect plants by sowing indoors, caging, netting, or sprinkling chili powder.

Use WAY more compost. Still waiting for the local landfill to launch their compost program so I don’t have to drive so far.

Sow more. Just plant more things everywhere, minimize bare soil.

Sow earlier so that plants are mature by summer.

Keep track of fertilizer schedule and fertilize more.

There’s so much room for improvement, but it’s nice to remember how much I’ve learned over the past two years. Life’s been hard the past 6 months so I didn’t work in the garden as much as I would have liked; however, it’s still the best I’ve ever done and I’m grateful for each delicious bite gifted to me.

[jamie4370]

I think Christmas was okay.

This Christmas was the first that I was the only son that had come home for Christmas. It’s not all bad though. My father’s retirement party is in a few days so they will be home for that. Still….. it is wild to think about. I’ve spent almost every Christmas with them. It’s hard to have that time with them as most of the past memories were filled with stress and negativity. I never really liked Christmas because of what it had done to people. What it had done to me. To make people feel like they need to show worth through gift giving. To show love. Love to me only felt like when I had a roof over my head or a warm meal to sit down to. That was more often than not, and I think I also took it for granted a lot of the times. I think it was still a good time with my parents.

Over the holiday I had thought a lot about A and what Christmas might look like if we were together. I would get her the biggest pack of slim Jims and a nice big plant from a nursery she could adopt. I’ve never spent a Christmas with them. I know that they used to tell me that she went to a catholic school. She told me that she never agreed with their ways, but respected them. Whatever the hell that meant. I was always curious of how she felt about Christmas. I don’t think they would have thought much about it. I think it would be really sweet to build a pillow fort. Watch movies, have sex. Love each other. Feel each other’s warmth. *sigh* I do miss us so much.

I’m at work currently and haven’t seemed to have much motivation with anything lately. Could that be the holiday season? Could it be how much I have been thinking about A lately? Nah. I’m only lazy and without gumption. Although, I feel productive about blogging.

Loneliness has been my enemy as of late. Every time I see someone that I am attracted to, I try to snap out of it and remember how untrustworthy people are. I don’t know if I ever want to date again, but I feel like I really don’t want to right now. I’ve been turned on, let down, spat out, and betrayed. It’s hard to have this many scars and feel beautiful about yourself, or to be even dream of dating others. Some how, being liberated from this whole confinement of a relationship has taught me this: I’ll never find someone perfect for me. Finding a prince or princess will never be in the cards. Love is the accepting of indifferences of others, not being perfect for other parties. My partner will never be perfect. Maybe that’s the mistake I’ve been looking for in someone else this whole time. Perfection. Is that what I thought A was for me? Maybe. Even when we got back together I could still count some of the things that they did that I didn’t like. I’m sure they did the same. I still think they’re perfect. Such strong feelings for a fraction of time spent together. Everything about them makes me want to jump in front of a train for them. Maybe that’s what you call a fantasy. The amount of love and support I’ve had through all of this is reassuring that everything will be alright.

I spend my days trying to get sober from alcohol and getting back in shape. Trying to have a more socially acceptable body has been reason for motivation to keep my personal health up. I want to get larger hips but a skinnier waist. Smaller arms. A feminine look. I’ve always wondered what A had thought of me as a female. I think I would be crushed more if they didn’t find me attractive as such. Maybe that would also be a good thing so I don’t have to keep thinking about them. It’s like every other sentence in a journal or blog entry.

The important thing to think about is that I am on the road to recovery and I’m feeling okay. I’ve been on an energy drink kick lately and I think it’s because I’m craving sugar. It’s been helping me get through the days because of how tired I feel. I think that’s the major depression I’ve felt trying to move out. It’s heavier than a lazy fat cat that doesn’t want to get off of you for affection.

Well, here’s to the new year and new beginnings. Here’s to change and that we might weather her ever shifting ocean. Here’s to the new friends that we meet, the acquaintances we rekindle, and the relationships that may fade. Here’s to the success’ of today and the failures of tomorrow, but more to the success. Here is to the peaceful longevity that life has to offer and the ever looming presence of death and violence we cannot live without. With the future bright, our whits sharp, we can live forever. And that’s a night long time.

-Jamie

[callunasims]

Courtlandt Legacy | Part 9 - Excited Future Parents

 Caleb is late for work!! It’s 12pm and he was supposed to be at work at 10am. Caleb, what are you doing? It isn’t flashing at him, so it’s VERY likely that it was intentional from the last time we played, but that was a couple weeks ago so we are NOT allowing a day off anymore. Get to work, Caleb! There’s a baby coming – we need all the funds we can get!

Poor Daphne got home from work and she was starving. Gardening is already hard work – gardening while pregnant is probably extra hard with all the bending and pulling. Poor girl needs to get some of that energy back. Luckily they have some leftovers in the fridge. Daphne was really feeling the grilled fruit, so she got some of that and sat down to relax.

She also came home with an inventory full of harvestables – she had picked everything before going to work that morning – which earned her and Caleb another 200 simoleons. Those peas and green peppers sell for quite a bit!

Though their bedroom is complete, the nursery is still quite sparse, they only have one bathroom furnished, and they still need to complete building their living room and kitchen areas. Right now, the cash is definitely needed for that, though they’re definitely doing better than the slab of flooring on top of the grass Daphne started with. Perhaps, even someday, they can have their own homestead and a selling table. A girl can dream!

After a yummy meal, Daphne was feeling pretty great about herself. She decided to do a little home renovation to expand the living area a little bit more. She even changed up the wallpaper to add a bit of color to her home.

She decided to get comfortable in the kiddie pool to relax for a little while. The warm sun, the cool breeze, and the nearby plants make it a much cozier place to rest than the empty living room.

After her well deserved relaxation in the pool, Daphne turned in for an early night. Caleb wouldn’t be home for another hour, but she was still quite tired from her workday and she’d be in her second trimester very soon. Best to keep up on those zzz’s now BEFORE the baby arrives!

Caleb brought home another couple hundred simoleons, then decided to head out to the library to complete his work task. He really wanted to have his own study someday so that he would have his own space to do some programming, but they weren’t likely to be able to afford a computer for quite awhile, anyway.

It is much cooler in Willow Creek than in Brindleton Bay that evening, which Caleb definitely appreciated. He sat down across from Lucas Munch and started to game. Promotions will certainly help him be able to afford the computer he wants!

Eventually the librarian sat down nearby and, though he was gaming, Caleb found himself greatly entertained by the nearby conversation. The two chess players seemed to be having a great time, too. Maybe, just maybe, Caleb would be able to make friends with some of them.

The library was a surprisingly busy place that evening, with lots of sims to introduce himself to. Caleb met Bess, Bjorn, and Mei as well during his gaming session and he skilled up to gaming level 3! By the time Caleb completed his gaming task, he really wanted a drink. He ordered a couple plasma packs and started his walk home, ready to end his day as well.

Those plasma packs really hit the spot – Caleb had started getting worried when people were piling into the library. He didn’t want to lose control and take a bite out of anyone there! It definitely wouldn’t have helped his reputation. However, Caleb came to realize he had succeeded in not drinking deeply from any sim for an entire day! 4 more to go – it was a piece of cake!

It cheered him up so much, he even discovered a new personality trait in himself! Nice job, Caleb!

The next morning, Daphne woke up super early… because she REALLY needed to pee. That plus the morning sickness and her hunger all at once left her feeling pretty crummy first thing.

A bathroom break, a hot shower, and a meal definitely cheered Daphne up. She went outside to tend to her garden and enjoy the fresh air.

Caleb woke up early that morning to spend some time with Daphne. She even let him feel her growing baby bump. Caleb was intrigued by the life growing inside Daphne’s belly, and asked her to remind him of their child’s due date. He didn’t want to miss a second, so he planned to put in for time off work that same day.

They chatted happily for a while together, until Daphne had to head to work. Soon, she’ll be in her third trimester and they’ll be ready to welcome a new baby (or babies?) to their home.