#maybe THIS year i'll finish this before new years.......
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admirationandromantics · 1 day ago
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Teacher's Lounge
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Another request! I'm thinking about not posting updates to anonymous requests, and instead just pasting said request in here? I'll tag you if you didn't ask anonymously. It's easier and more neat.
🍋‍🟩 Hear me out, Josh becoming a temporary teacher for film with his own office, he often let you study in there seeing as the campus didn’t have enough study space to accommodate everyone and you become quite overstimulated on a normal day (@b3rryb3t)
This is therefore maybe a teacher x student thing, but you're roughly the same age anyway (maybe 2 years difference), since he graduated before you and has already come out with his debut movie. You're still hanging out with the friend group as well.
Word count: 1,6k (Unedited)
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It’s hard to find good reading spots on campus. My messy room could be an option, but I can’t get inspired there. I need different surroundings than what I’m used to. Booked rooms are a no-go, especially now that exams are coming closer. They’re always booked, and everyone uses them. I’ve tried going to the library, but if there’s room, the place is never quiet. The librarians don't care. I get it though, everyone is stressed, and the only place you can work on a group assignment is the library. You have to talk, you have to discuss. This means that I’m still left without a spot to study. I’ve tried other libraries, other cafes and even at my friends place. Nothing works. Maybe there’s something in the other buildings? Somewhere quiet where I’ll feel content. 
The first building that comes to mind is the Teachers house. A large building with some group rooms and many small study sofas. Many of the teachers have offices there, but if I'm quiet, they won’t mind. These spots are usually also taken, but maybe I’ll have a chance if I’m quick. 
I walk down the hall, stopping when I see the old abandoned office. This room is usually always empty, waiting for someone to inhabit it. But it’s not empty anymore. The previously collected dust is cleaned away, the wood door has a new furnish and a brand new slide-on plate reads a familiar name. Joshua Washington. 
I widen my eyes in surprise, it cannot be. Why is he here? Didn’t he already finish his degree? He just finished his debut movie, which was excellent. I saw him at one of Emily’s parties too, which was not long ago. About three weeks. He looked good then, very good. Like he felt fulfilled and accomplished. He should feel good about himself. Not many people do that on their first big project. He did talk about a new job he got, but I assumed it was another film-related gig. Was this the job? 
My curiosity gets the better of me, and I carefully knock three times. The sound is beautiful, hard and dark wood which doesn’t vibrate as I hit it. I wait, hearing shuffling and metal clinking inside. 
“Um, yeah, come in!” 
I open the door, holding the handle hard. If I was wrong, then this would be an awfully awkward encounter. The door glides easily without making any sound. They have really improved this place. He lifts his head, meeting my stare as he does. A smile creeps on his face, eyes lighting up by the sight. I stand still, mouth agape and furrowed brows. He’s really here. 
“Well, if it isn’t my favorite student” 
“You teach here?” 
“As of this Monday, yes” 
I close the door behind me, looking around the room. It’s cozy, filled with family pictures and a couple of movie posters. His diploma is also on the wall. On one surface are many small film trophies from his childhood, and in front of all of them, the price he got last year for his first debut Hollywood movie. I look around in awe, the yellow light making everything feel so professional and real. 
“And by the way, I’m not your student, I take another course” 
“That can’t stop me from stating that you’re in a superior’s office” 
“How did you get this job?”
“They offered it to me”
“Just out of nowhere? You don’t have experience in teaching. You’re not even a professor” 
“I guess my talent shines through”
I look at him and his smug face. He’s leaning back in the roller chair, feet upon his desk. Everything here is so neat, so unlike him. He also loves being able to joke like this, but honestly, I’m still surprised by the circumstances. He made one movie, and now, the university wanted him to teach a course? 
“If I know you correctly, you’ll probably be fired by the next month” 
“And why’s that?”
I take a seat in front of him, not surprised that the chair is lower than him. Oh, how he loves his power trips. The chair is comfortable, and suits the surroundings, but I feel small. 
“Because you can’t keep your hands to yourself” 
“That’s true” 
“There’s only a question about time, when will you fuck one of your students, and when will you get caught” 
He laughs, shaking his head as he fiddles with an expensive ball pen. He looks at me in disbelief, maybe a little surprised that I said exactly what I thought. 
“Who’s to say I haven’t done it already?” 
“One week into the job?” 
“Maybe” 
“You’re disgusting, Washington” 
“That’s Mr. Washington to you” he corrects, pointing at me with the same pen. I smile at him, almost unable to hide my laughter. 
“I’m not gonna start calling you that” 
“Ugh, damn you” 
A slight silence follows, and analyse his desk. Many, many pens, his laptop, a stack of papers and a couple of memory sticks. Again, everything is so neat. It makes me feel weird. 
“By the way, I actually haven’t had a teacher-student relationship” 
“You shouldn’t” I quickly shoot back. It would not be a good idea. Being in the filming industry is hard in itself, but he also has a shot of doing something more. This was not something to take lightly. 
“At least not gonna with my own students” 
“Jesus Chris Josh”
He laughs again, loving my overdramatic reactions. He knows what gets me to tip over, how to make me irritated and upset. Of course he’ll use it to his advantage. 
“Anyways, what are you doing here? Isn’t your building on the other side of campus?” 
I sigh loudly, leaning back in the chair and letting my head fall back. I’m tired, exhausted even. But just two more weeks, and I’ll be finished with the exams. My diploma isn’t far away. 
“Trying to find a study spot, but everywhere is taken”
“Why don’t you just use your dorm?”
“Easy for you to say, you never lived in one”
He leans back, furrowing his brows and being deep in thought. 
“You could sit here?” 
I look up, surprised by the offer. Is that even okay, am I, as a student, allowed to do that? I think about it, the place is quiet, cozy and a completely different atmosphere than usual. It could work. 
“Can I?” 
“Of course, it wouldn't be the first time you’ve been in my quarters” he teases, leaning back over the desk. 
“Haha, very funny, but are you serious?” 
“Yeah, I mean, my students usually don’t come here, too busy actually understanding the material, compared to some” he points at me and my backpack. I roll my eyes. 
“Well, if getting my degree consisted of knowing the on and off button of a camera, I would excel at it”
“Careful, or you might not get to study here” 
“Okay, okay, sorry. You’re an accomplished producer and teacher who’s totally awesome” 
“And you have to call me Mr. Washington”
I scoff at his request, shaking my head. He’s still smiling, biting casually into his lower lip. 
“I draw the line there”
“Fine”
I take up my laptop, immediately starting to type. This was gonna be great. Might have some negative effects though. We’ve got a history. Too much time spent together has usually led to more uncivilised activities, but that’s not something I have to worry about now. 
***
The weeks pass, and I truly enjoy his company, even if it’s in silence. He’s busy grading papers and making schedules. I’m prepping for my exams, writing, reading, and memorising. Everything was going great, and the day of the exam finally came. 
I took one look over the questions, and my heart fell. What the hell was this? I did my best, drawing out a mind map to help me refresh my memory. It actually went quite well, if I do say so myself. Not the best, but I’m definitely not failing. 
I walk down the hall yet again, not bothering to knock on Josh’s door. His head rises, noticing my presence, and he smiles. God I love how he smiles. 
“So, how did it go?” 
I close the door, biting my lip as I turn to face him again. He looks up expectantly, eyes big and round. He rises, walking around the desk to face me. 
“It went great!” I blurt out excitedly, arms going out. He smiles, meeting me in a hug as I throw my arms around him. His hands go to my waist, pulling me closer against him. I bury my face in his neck, warm skin against mine, smelling his expensive cologne. 
“See, you just needed a place to study”
“I indeed did”
We break apart a little, arms still holding tight so none of us leaves. He leans in, eyes lowering to my lips. I know what’s about to happen, it has happened a million times before. In his bedroom, a couple of random bathrooms, the mountain lodge, but never in an office. My finger finds its way to his lips, stopping him in his tracks. 
“Mr. Washington, what do you think you’re doing?” 
“Just celebrating” he whispers against my finger, hand going up to take it away. He finds his way to the back of my head, tangling in my hair as he pulls me closer. 
“You can get in trouble”
“Never stopped us before”
His breath feels hot against my skin, head getting dizzy and body warmer. How long were we going to keep this thing alive? 
“Fuck it” I whisper against him, capturing his lips on mine.
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justawrites · 17 hours ago
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(Wip/Sketch) The Resurrection of a Heretic
You can definitely tell I got really tired after the first few pages but! It's done! Kinda! Pencil and paper sketch but it's done!
It's 3:30 AM so I really need to sleep, but tomorrow I'll add a read-more page by page transcription bc I know my handwriting isn't the easiest thing to read. Heavily recommend viewing in a new tab lol.
Had the Lamb chosen ANY other godless than Wren, and done it any earlier than before Narinder married them, Narinder would have been pissed about this. And unfortunately for Wren, being resurrected while being godless leaves its marks.
Anyway, Lamb stop breaking the laws of Faith for five seconds challenge, level impossible
Transcription below the cut
PAGE 1
Lamb: WREN! Hi! Wren: Hello, Lamb. Lamb, falling back into the water: Baa! Wren: Lamb!
PAGE 2
Wren: You are really bad at getting out of that pond... Lamb: It's the fleece. It's heavy when wet. Wren: Maybe you should forego it when visiting here? Lamb: And not look cool? No way! Wren: Almost drowning in a pool in the spectral plane does not sound very "cool," but to each their own...
PAGE 3 (timeskip, after unseen conversation in which Lamb suggests resurrecting Wren)
Wren: I... am not sure that is a good idea, Lamb. I have been dead for a hundred years now. I am not sure I know how to live anymore. Lamb: It'll be okay- Narinder and I will help you.
Lamb: Since you're not one of my followers, I need your actual body. Wren, as a ghost in the living world: My children will kill you if they see you digging up my grave. Lamb: Don't worry- it's handled!
Elloi (Narinder and Wren's middle daughter, all grown up): Not that we do not appreciate the visit, but our Father is visiting with you...? Kallamar: HAHA I missed my nieces, of course! Kallamar, thinking to himself: You owe me, Lamb! (A small text points to Kallamar, reading " "handling" it")
Wren: I am not sure our brother-in-law is up to that task. My girls are sharp. Lamb, offscreen: I have faith in him. Wren: At least one of us does.
PAGE 4
Wren: Also, uh- a hundred years? My body is nothing but bones and shrouds. Oh, and my death mask... Lamb: That's fine, as long as they're your bones, it will work. Wren: Should... I be worried? Lamb: No, no! I've tested it! Wren: Okay, I'm worried. Lamb: Hey!
Wren: Did you just shove my skeleton in your Crown? Lamb: Well I'm not about to walk out with it in my arms. Your daughters would try to kill me then...
Lamb: Think they'll notice the grave is disturbed? Wren: Minuit visits every morning, so yes. Lamb: Hm. So I should finish this before morning. Wren: If I come back as a zombie, I will bite you. Lamb: Promise? Wren: Lamb! Lamb: I'm kidding!
Lamb: I will miss being able to visit you on a whim, though. Wren: ...
Wren: Well, knowing you, me being alive again will not stop you... Lamb: True. You'll never escape me. We're like- spouse-in-laws or something! Wren: ... Not how it works, but yes, I suppose.
PAGE 5
Lamb: Kallamar is distracting your daughters, but the others should give me enough devotion for this- you know, being gods and Witnesses. Wren: I do not know, no. Lamb: Should I invite Nari? Wren: He will recognize a godless shroud. He might not let you go through with it, if he knows. Not to mention my mask... Lamb: Good point... I'm sure he won't mind if we surprise him!
Lamb: Wait, can you teleport? Wren: I am attached to you right now, so I will be dragged with you. Lamb: Cool....
Wren: I will admit, I will miss floating around like this. Lamb: You'd prefer to stay as a ghost? Wren: Now I did not say that.
Wren: It would take a stronger man than I to pass up the chance to touch their husband again...
Lamb: Oh, I see where your mind is~ Wren: Hold on- get your mind out of the ditch!
Wren: Thank you for not just dropping my skeleton. Lamb: Well, that would be rude. Wren: Kind of like shoving it in a bag... Lamb: It wasn't a bag!
Lamb: I need to put a mark on your skeleton... preferably somewhere subtle. It'll still be visible when you're alive again- any preference? Wren: Not really? Just do not be... weird about it. Lamb: Your hand, then.
PAGE 6
Wren: That is a strange symbol. What is it? Lamb: A modification of an immortality symbol. For my followers, it keeps them from aging- but this version helps me reverse your death. I think it helps meld the body and soul? It's very different from resurrecting my followers...
Lamb: Took me 50 years to think of this... It would not work before that. Wren: You... have been trying to revive me for 50 years?
Lamb: Oh- should I remove your mask? Wren: I would rather not see my own skull. Lamb: You'll be smelling whatever's inside when you wake up if I don't. Wren: ... Yes, remove it please.
Small text pointing to a cloaked Heket and Leshy reads "can't see or hear Wren."
Lamb: Okay! Ready! Wren, just float above your body! Leshy, Heket, Shamura- Witnesses, around the circle.
PAGE 7
Wren: Oh this is weird. Huh...
PAGE 8
Wren, thinking: What do I... do? This feels...
Wren, thinking: strange. Narinder, thinking: Where has everyone gone-?
Narinder: What. Is that Lamb doing now.
PAGE 9
Wren, thinking: It... worked. Wait, how do I breathe-
Shamura, offscreen: Relax.
Shamura: Your body will breathe on its own. Just relax. My siblings and I have been where you are.
Wren, breathing out: Thank you...
PAGE 10
Lamb: It worked! yes! How are you feeling?
Wren: Like I need a bath. Desperately.
Leshy: And clean clothes I bet. Lamb: Yeah, death shrouds a hundred years old is probably not a great feel...
Lamb: Come on- let's get you cleaned up. Wren: Okay... thank you.
text pointing to Wren reads "first bath in 100 years"
Lamb: Quick question- were you... wanting to keep this? Wren: My death shroud?? No?? It is a hundred years old and decaying... Lamb: Just making sure before I burn it.
Wren: I do want to keep the mask, though. Lamb: Got it. text pointing to the Lamb and the shroud reads "sets on fire"
text above the tub Wren is in reads "dunks head"
PAGE 11
Narinder: Lamb, I need to spea- Lamb: NARINDER!
Narinder: Gah! Lamb: Don't come in! You'll ruin the surprise! Narinder: Why are you short-?
Narinder, offscreen: Lamb! We are married! I have seen you naked before! We have bathed together!
Lamb, offscreen: Sorry, Nari- this is a surprise for you, so- please, just wait downstairs? Narinder: Would this have something to do with that ritual from earlier? Lamb: ... Maybe. Narinder: Fine, I will be downstairs. In the library.
Lamb: Hey, got you some robes- Wren: LAMB! Privacy!! Lamb: Relax, you've got nothing I haven't seen before. Wren: I DO NOT CARE- Lamb: You're gonna ruin your hair drying it like that-
PAGE 12
Wren: If you put your symbol on me I will hit you. Lamb: Too late, it's already on your hand. Wren: I meant that triangle thing, actually. Lamb: Oh- don't worry, the robe is symbol-free.
Wren: So this is permanent? Lamb: yeah, sorry- in all my experiments, removing it did... weird things. Wren: How did you "experiment," anyway? Lamb: Let's not talk about that...
Lamb: I think I liked what you wore in the After better. Wren: Mm, but that was a bit... gravity-defying. Lamb: Bet I could figure it out...
Wren: Being alive feels so weird... Lamb: yeah, I get it.
PAGE 13
Narinder: There you are, Lamb. Now, what did you-
Wren: Hello again, love.
Narinder: Wren...? How...? Wren: The Lamb is stubborn.
Narinder: You died... You are godless... The Lamb should not have been able to... Wren: They would not take that as an answer.
Wren: Besides, you have done the impossible before, too.
PAGE 14
Lamb: Soo you're not mad that I went behind your back to revive a godless person?
Text reads "Grabs"
Narinder: Do not ever do that again. ... But no. I am not mad. This time.
Lamb: Well, if Wren died again, I make no promises... but no one else. Not many ghosts with bodies still around, anyway...
Narinder: You are the most stubborn god I know. Thank you...
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lacomandante · 20 days ago
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one of my favorite parts in my wip where teresa and sharpe meet after talavera...their teasing is everything to me
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stickmenyaoi · 2 months ago
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about absence; presence. Lover; Warrior
Inspired by.
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washedupburnedout · 2 months ago
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Happy N7 day to those who celebrate! Here's some of my favorite screenshots from my last playthrough (from like 2 years ago lol - more pics under the cut)
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servuscallidus · 3 months ago
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just found a WWI podcast that lasted as long as the war holy shit. from 2014 to 2018 so it fits perfectly
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derelictheretic · 1 day ago
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Fun Kofi Membership update! Members in the $10 tier will now be getting a 10% discount on all kofi commissions!! Just as an extra thank you for your continued support of me and my work! <3
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claitea · 4 months ago
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a little personal project i'm slowly chipping away at, thought it would be fun to make it into a chart that i add a doodle to every time i finish a new character so i can track how i'm going with it!
by project i just mean i want an oc of each type. i'm not making a game or anything the positions listed are purely for fun HDJBFJFKE
#clai speaks#clai's ocs#ignore the doodle of cyril though that isnt final. it was part of me Trying to come up with something for him so i just scribbled whatever#its not what i want him to look like but yhe doodle was so cute i wanted to keep it. maybe i'll turn it into a different oc idk#the laguardia siblings!!! and clear's here too ig#anyone who's been written here whether they have a design or name or not have some kind of character established already#like while i have a couple concepts for a rock trainer nothing is concrete yet so that spot remains empty for now#but even though chase doesnt even have a finalized name or position i know he's a gifted psychic who just uses his powers to do art#mago and colbur are brothers and run their gym together like tate and liza. first explicitly dual type gym!#(striaton gym not counted bc you only fight one of the triplets there)#chip and cassidy are also brother and sister#corey and kalin are cousins#mago and colbur run a berry farm and cafe. cole runs a pizza parlor. polly makes jewelry out of bug-type pkmn silk and stuff#cassidy's research centers on tm/hm development. unnamed dragon trainer is a costume designer#corey is an actor so good at her job people joke that she's being possessed by her characters. kalin is a mischievous ballet dancer#chip i'm pretty happy with. he's supposed to be like a youngster that grew up and became more experienced#he used to be shy before setting out on his journey but grew immensely from it and became champion#goes back to the first town and mentors the new trainers bc he knows how scary it is to set out on a journey for the first time#hides his champion status so that the kids aren't afraid to challenge him#i didnt want to go too detailled bc it is super late HSIBFIF I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP LIKE THREE HOURS AGO#i just really want to share these bc these concepts have just been sitting in my notes for like a year?#over a year. i started this some time after making alto#point is i've been sitting on these ideas way too long but designing them so slowly i dont want to wait to talk about them anymore#this chart is so empty rn but i will finish it!!! one day!!!!
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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 4 months ago
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9-1-1 LONE STAR IS CANCELLED 😭😭😭💔💔💔
The article I read said it's pretty dang definitive, not gonna get picked up but I just. Not only is it my favorite of the 9-1-1s, it's a huge loss of queer representation. And I just. I know that technically/to a lot of people, 9-1-1 is a better show. But not enough that it deserves to be picked up and Lone Star doesn't.
I'm angry and I'm sad and I'm real tired of this happening xd. Not to even mention that we'll go through the final season without Sierra. Just pay your freaking actors, and this wouldn't happen.
I'm never forgiving Fox for this
RIP 9-1-1 Lone Star, there's still hope for you in my heart :'(( <3
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orcelito · 4 months ago
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Man I really hadn't gotten as far in the manga as I thought. I just finished ep 267 of shippuden and it's gearing up for the Gaara vs his dad fight, which I remember being where I dropped off in the manga. Bc I'd been keeping up with new chapters for a while, but with all the war talk... idk it just didn't capture 14 year old me that much. So I stopped keeping up.
Now, though. I find all the war tactics interesting hfkshdk it has me wanting to play a fire emblem game again. Hmmmmmm
#speculation nation#fanny watches naruto#so this means when i last watched naruto i got farther than when i last read naruto.#bc it was. ykno i dont entirely remember. but i'll remember when i get there.#maybe something to do with the raikage? or killer b??? i think after naruto and b find out about the fighting and rush out to join.#which supports the killer b one. OH i also rememeber tsunade fighting. right around then.#i'll recognize it when i get there. i know it wasnt Too deep in the war.#oh actually it might be another 30 or so episodes before im caught up to where i was in the manga hfksbfnd#bcus looking thru the episodes list it says 297 is when gaara leads the attack against the previous kage#OH ep 282 is when tsunade and the raikage enter battle to prevent naruto and killer bee from joining#THATS probably where i dropped off from watching. which is pretty damn close actually!!!!#so yeah depending on how things go i might have read further than i watched. been a good while tho lol#after i reach those two points it'll be entirely new territory for me. which is really exciting!!!!#i know some things from just being in the fandom for. literally over half my life.#but im excited to actually see them go down for myself. and finally be a naruto fan that's FINISHED the anime!!!!#still got a good 233 episodes until then. but when youve wayched 267 episodes of shippuden#plus a good 140 of original. aka a total of over 400 episodes (phew!) then 233 doesnt actually sound like That much.#it'll probably still take me a few months. ive been working on this rewatch since. may#so 400 episodes in 3 months. though it was summer so i had more free time. i dont expect to watch at the same rate as before.#still!!! probably by the end of the year i'll have fully watched naruto. it's exciting!!!
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squishosaur · 1 year ago
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GUYS I MANAGED TO GET A NICE LOOKING PIECE TOGEYHER FOR EVERY MONTH THIS YEAR‼️‼️💪💪💪
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womanfredvonkarma · 5 months ago
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You can barely tell because I'm still, you know, posting, but the amount of time I spend here has decreased massively. Most of it was just scrolling out of restlessness and not actually wanting to post something lmao.
#Tomorrow my break ends so I want to quit it entirely save for designated log-in times so I don't lose touch with the mutuals <3#I'm thinking every three days or so. We'll see.#Ok I'm going to cram as many little updates as I can in the tags so I don't get tempted to log in again after this.#I learned to prepare a new lunch (toast with cream cheese and guacamole) and it's good even with the pepper mill missing#(so only seasoned with salt and lemon). It must be even better with pepper.#I copied it from something I ordered at a cafe a few days ago--kind of proud of it.#I'm also kind of proud of the fact that even though I've never prepared vegetables before (bell pepper and onion)#I could do it just from remembering the years of watching my mum cook. Without even the intent of learning.#I just absorbed by osmosis which parts she cut off and could replicate it pretty well.#Overall even though the current situation re:life would look pretty grim from the outside for a couple of reasons#I feels miles better just from the fact that I'm not playing cards and opening Tumblr and Discord like the fridge all the time.#I'm on track to finish Midnight's Children soon and loving it. Idk what I'll read next but I'm excited for whatever it is.#And I'm almost done learning my lines. In the nick of time before our first rehearsal.#I'm also rekindling my love for classical music. And my love affair with ancient Rome is alive and well.#I also started playing chess again. I want to write... And I might pick up violin again this time just for me.#Still drawing a blank as to what I want to *do* for the next years but maybe I'll get there. I'm thinking of getting a job.#l33chsp34k
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namarikonda · 1 year ago
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Hi there ! Do you do commission for OC DND character ? :)
Hi hi! Thank you for asking <3 Currently my commissions are closed, but this is because of the backlog I have from Twitter. So I definitely DO take commissions, and will continue to do so in the future! I'd love to draw your ocs, be it for D&D, other TTRPGs or other franchises :')
My website has all commission info, so you can pre-emptively look through what I do & with what prices :') It also has my current queue, though a bit lagging behind.
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[screenshot of my tumblr page; image description included]
I did not expect people to be interested in commissions via my Tumblr, but if there are others interested as well — let me know! I'll see what I can do to provide <3
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icewindandboringhorror · 2 years ago
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feeling sick constantly in the background all the time is like.. usually negligible-ish.. until multiple various chronic background issues all happen to overlap at once and then it’s like 
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#Like usually I cycle between like. joint pain issues. chest muscle injury stuff. back pain. stomach problems. headaches. etc.#There is never a day that I feel totally normal for the most part. but it's usually just little things here and there on and off#chronic things that seem to flare up sometimes. But then every once in a while it's like the flare ups align and I'll have 6 of the problems#at the same time and then is AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#For some reason it's okay to deal with one or two of these things at any given time. but if I have to deal with like 3+ at once#or two of the old ones plus one NEW thing I've never had before or etc. etc.#I just can't even do anything. I run around stressed out of my mind unable to focus on any tasks or do anything but feel bad#then I cant even play games or do fun stuff becuause my brain wont let me be distracted from fixating on the fact that I feel bad#It's kind of the same way that it's stressful for me to go into grocery stores because my brain LITERALLY just is not capable of tuning out#all of the noises and lights and sensory information - so it' gets overwhelming quickly. I also just literally cannot tune out sensory infor#mation from my body. so if something feels even a LITTLE weird or a LITTLE painful or is even slightly different than usual#especially if it's overlapping with multiple other 'low level chronic pain' type things then my brain is just like.. being given way too muc#h information that it still cant tune out and then I can't focus and just walk around in a daze for however long until one of the issues#goes away on it's own (like joint pain flare ups usually come and go etc. etc.). or until I see a doctor abut whatever the new thing is#and maybe something they do or say actually helps or etc. etc.#Idk I have SO SO much I want to do the beginning of the year and so many projects to finish and things to post and schedules I have#written out for me to get on (like excercising more consistently and etc.) and it's just furstrating for my brain to just be like#ah.. nope.. we are not doing that. instead we are going to be completely incapacitated by a host of physical issues#which I think most ''normal people'' would just ignore like ''oh yeah I'll just load myself up on ibuprophen and coffee and energy#drinks and advil and sleep supplements and this and that'' or whatever but I can't do that it just makes stuff worse. I have to just sit for#days having a mind battle like 'okay yes we're having these problems.. but we can still like.. do SOMETHING right? we could like.. write#or draw. or things that don't take much energy'' and brain is just like NO!!! WE CANT!!! BECAUSE!! THING IS WEIRD!!!' and it's like okay#but thing is going to be weird. there's nothing we can do about thing being weird right now. so we should just focus on something else#'NO!! CANNOT TUNE OUT THING BEING WEIRD!! lets just fixate on it instead and wander aimlessly from thing to thing never able#to fully focus on any other task. hee hee''. anyway. hhghh.. sometimes I just get tired of having Various Ailments at any given time#especially unexplained ones or weird recurring problems that doctors haven't done much about because then it lends to paranoia like#'what if something is seriously wrong but I just dont know it yet?' which could be the case. I mean hopefully not. but I just hate stuff#being unexplained. because if there's no clear answer then the answer could be anything. even somehting bad. *** :V#ANYWAY gghhb... just bothered at the moment. I was going to come here like 'hey maybe I could post some drafts or pictures or something that#could feel productive!' but.. i dont feel like it. i dont care. too focused on Bad Feeling. just going to complain instead lol
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eyepatchdate · 1 year ago
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as of today i've played every persona game yayyy
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supercantaloupe · 1 year ago
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ideas for upcoming chapters of my wip have been marinating in my brain all week
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