#maybe THEN i'd post something with some substance

[roguemonsterfucker]

No one reminded me!

So... I have a LOT of complaints but the biggest one is I feel extremely mislead in various ways.

You can see the title and the genres. Kidnapped by my Mate. Werewolves. I read the first few chapters for free and while they weren't written well and had issues that made me go "huh" (that I may talk about later), the content of those chapters clearly fit what I'd been promised. A werewolf kidnapped his mate and there was a bit of fun back and forth as the human struggled with her own feelings towards him and the logic of "oh this is maybe not good." Again, not well written, but I liked the dynamic so I was enjoying it.

Halfway through the book, maybe even a bit less, the kidnapping aspect is resolved. Our female lead is happy to be there and eager to uh. Finalize their mating. Clothes come off. Our sexy werewolf is about to go down on her and...

Boom. The plot changes in an instant.

He's called away, ending the sex scene before it can become a sex scene and from that point forward it's a different book.

If it had ended there, with a sex scene, I would've been happy. I had a lot of overall issues with the book (again, I may address them later), but the idea was so extremely up my alley that I put up with all the things I didn't like about it. If it ended there, I would've felt like the promised theme of the book was fulfilled, all expectations met, and the rather simple plot resolved well.

But no. It didn't end there. We didn't get our sex scene and instead the book turned into something completely different.

It wasn't about a woman being kidnapped by her werewolf mate but about vampires trying to take over the werewolf pack. The romance ends there. Our romantic leads don't even see each other properly for the rest of the book. Which, I shall remind you, is half of the fucking book.

So yeah. I feel lied to, especially given that this was touted as an erotic werewolf romance. Like, I'm fine if books don't have sex. It may surprise people, but sex isn't actually what I find the most appealing in fiction.BUT if a book is promoted as being an erotica, with sexy half naked men used in the promotional material (I was advertised this a LOT on instagram), them it better fucking fulfill the promises made by that material and genre.

Add to that, there wasn't a proper ending to the book in my opinion. It's apparently the first of three in the series and the story is continued in the sequels... which is fine in theory but the book still needs to have some substance on its own and be structured well enough to justify it being a series instead of a single book.

There is no structure. The book just ends arbitrarily and the second one picks up where it left off. It looks as if someone went "oh that's enough chapters for that, let's start the next one."

Which brings me to the crux of the issue.

This reads like an unstructured fanfic that's updated somewhat regularly.

Please don't take that as a slight against that format. There's nothing wrong with people writing as the whims take them. That's what I do. But that's also why I'm not asking for money for my writing behind a $60 pay wall.

I'm coming in late to this series, but it looks like it was posted chapter by chapter to Wattpad at first and then was picked up by this app, Galatea, who put the rest behind a paywall. It looks like even once it was picked up by the app, it was still being updated chapter by chapter. Which would explain it being labeled "erotica' with no sex scenes, because the writer may have intended to include them at first and just never got around to it before ending the book arbitrarily and starting the sequel.

It also is likely why the plot suddenly changes halfway through with no real structure to it. That happens a lot when someone is updating things chapter by chapter. They go wherever their muse takes them and that's fine but again, money is being asked for this. This isn't posted for free on Wattpad or AO3.

This app only allows you to read one chapter per book per six hours for free (though some books are locked behind a paywall). For more access, you either pay $60 for a year subscription (no month by month that I can find) or you pay to unlock those specific chapters, of which the price can vary quite a lot but I think this book was $17 for the whole thing.

If this was some random person on Wattpad or Ao3, I wouldn't be posting here about it. I'm never going to criticize writers like myself who are just trying to write what they enjoy and sharing it for free. You can always be assured that any works I criticize harshly on this blog, they're paid content in some form or fashion, which in my opinion raises it to another level.

But this app wants money. A LOT of money. For what amounts to fanfiction level quality.

I would've been perfectly happy reading this for free. I probably would've left a kudos and complimented the author if I'd found it on AO3. Because even the strange turn of events was interesting. But it wasn't what I was promised by the genre, title, description, and first free chapters.

If I had paid money to read "Kidnapped by my Mate," expecting a hot dubcon werewolf romance and gotten a weird vampire war halfway through, I would've been furious.

I didn't pay money but I did dedicate two weeks to unlocking a chapter every six hours. And even that was more effort than it ended up being worth.

Especially since it's separated into three books. I've started the second one, since the first few chapters were free, and it's not looking any more promising. I won't be continuing the series. I probably will uninstall the app because it's just a frustrating money grab.

I may go into detail about some of the smaller things that bugged me about this book at a later date. I already mentioned a few things on my blog, like 500 werewolves living in a single "house" and the main werewolf dude growing a foot in height when he got turned into a vampire hybrid, making him over seven and a half feet tall. There were a few other things that made me raise an eyebrow at it.

One or two oddities would be forgiven easily. The first thing I noticed, an interaction on an airplane that struct me as realistic, I brushed off. It didn't matter enough for me to care so I didn't mention it to anyone. But once more and more oddities popped up, that's when it started bothering me.

No one can account for everything, so I'm never going to be overly critical about a thing here or there feeling unreasonable. Especially given that it's a fantasy romance. I won't hold it against an author to bend reality for the hotness. I can only suspend my disbelief so much when everything starts piling up...

So yeah, I may rant about the little things later but really I think this post now sums up why I'm frustrated.

Someone in the notes of this post said that it actually made them want to check it out because they love bad books, but please. As a bad book lover myself, don't waste your time. There are better bad books that cost you less time or potential money to read. This one isn't worth your time because ultimately, it isn't even a book. It's a wattpad story behind a paywall.

Someone remind me to rant about the ‘book’ I read where I had to watch six hours to unlock each chapter and 500 werewolves lived together in a ‘house’ and the plot did a 180 halfway through where the entire premise changed.

I finished the book. I have thoughts. But I’m tired so yeah. Remind me.

[ovrtimelove]

life update:

fuck hybe, fuck deped, fuck everything horrible in the world, i hope they never prosper. capitalism too

hybe because they're (1) collaborating with the wrong fucking people (2) overworking people (3) bitches

deped because this semester has been so shitty. i need it to cease. i need it to die. kill itself, even

everything else because the world is gonna have an early death from humanity's own stupidity

honestly if i rewrote the laws, the current generation would cheer. the ones before will start a witch hunt for my ass

its monday tomorrow and i domnt WANT to go. i want to wallow in my creative pool, not force myself to make art that'll be acknowledged once for a grade.

i hate art

i hate writing

i hate! education!

i have a mouth ulcer and its so fucking annoying

im getting better at cooking tho

[artsekey]

I'd been seeing videos on Tiktok and Youtube about how younger Gen Z & Gen Alpha were demonstrating low computer literacy & below benchmark reading & writing skills, but-- like with many things on the internet-- I assumed most of what I read and watched was exaggerated. Hell, even if things were as bad as people were saying, it would be at least ~5 years before I started seeing the problem in higher education.

I was very wrong.

Of the many applications I've read this application season, only %6 percent demonstrated would I would consider a college-level mastery of language & grammar. The students writing these applications have been enrolled in university for at least two years, and have taken all fundamental courses. This means they've had classes dedicated to reading, writing, and literature analysis, and yet!

There are sentences I have to read over and over again to discern intent. Circular arguments that offer no actual substance. Errors in spelling and capitalization that spellcheck should've flagged.

At a glance, it's easy to trace this issue back to two things:

The state of education in the United States is abhorrent. Instructors are not paid enough, so schools-- particularly public schools-- take whatever instructors they can find.

COVID. The two year long gap in education, especially in high school, left many students struggling to keep up.

But I think there's a third culprit-- something I mentioned earlier in this post. A lack of computer literacy.

This subject has been covered extensively by multiple news outlets like the Washington Post and Raconteur, but as someone seeing it firsthand I wanted to add my voice to the rising chorus of concerned educators begging you to pay attention.

As the interface we use to engage with technology becomes more user friendly, the knowledge we need to access our files, photos, programs, & data becomes less and less important. Why do I need to know about directories if I can search my files in Windows (are you searching in Windows? Are you sure? Do you know what that bar you're typing into is part of? Where it's looking)? Maybe you don't have any files on your computer at all-- maybe they're on the cloud through OneDrive, or backed up through Google. Some of you reading this may know exactly where and how your files are stored. Many of you probably don't, and that's okay. For most people, being able to access a file in as short a time as possible is what they prioritize.

The problem is, when you as a consumer are only using a tool, you are intrinsically limited by the functions that tool is advertised to have. Worse yet, when the tool fails or is insufficient for what you need, you have no way of working outside of that tool. You'll need to consult an expert, which is usually expensive.

When you as a consumer understand a tool, your options are limitless. You can break it apart and put it back together in just the way you like, or you can identify what parts of the tool you need and search for more accessible or affordable options that focus more on your specific use-case.

The problem-- and to be clear, I do not blame Gen Z & Gen Alpha for what I'm about to outline-- is that this user-friendly interface has fostered a culture that no longer troubleshoots. If something on the computer doesn't work well, it's the computer's fault. It's UI should be more intuitive, and it it's not operating as expected, it's broken. What I'm seeing more and more of is that if something's broken, students stop there. They believe there's nothing they can do. They don't actively seek out solutions, they don't take to Google, they don't hop on Reddit to ask around; they just... stop. The gap in knowledge between where they stand and where they need to be to begin troubleshooting seems to wide and inaccessible (because the fundamental structure of files/directories is unknown to many) that they don't begin.

This isn't demonstrative of a lack of critical thinking, but without the drive to troubleshoot the number of opportunities to develop those critical thinking skills are greatly diminished. How do you communicate an issue to someone online? How do look for specific information? How do you determine whether that information is specifically helpful to you? If it isn't, what part of it is? This process fosters so many skills that I believe are at least partially linked to the ability to read and write effectively, and for so many of my students it feels like a complete non-starter.

We need basic computer classes back in schools. We need typing classes, we need digital media classes, we need classes that talk about computers outside of learning to code. Students need every opportunity to develop critical thinking skills and the ability to self-reflect & self correct, and in an age of misinformation & portable technology, it's more important now than ever.

[heartlilith]

Drunk Confessional (Personal Astrology Observations)

Here are some of my observations and opinions on various placements while sipping on some dranks ;)))

🍻My Sun, Venus, and Mars are in my 8th house using Whole Sign System and using Placidus I have Moon and Venus in the 8th house. Any other 8th housers especially attracted to what others deem creepy/weird/dangerous? Whether it's people, topics of conversation, music taste, or superstitions. When I talk to my boyfriend about what happens after we die, he WON'T hear it. I got an Ouija board for Christmas one year and he wouldn't summon demons with me :( he's so scared lmfaooo. Also, my boyfriend has been to jail, has face tattoos, and is the embodiment of controversial. Any other 8th housers relate? No? Okay.

🍻Going off of ^^^. I met this girl one time at a ... facility ... and she went by the name Lilith; she's instagram famous, goth, loves witch shit, she's a satanist and basically she was everything that people side eyed. When I tell you I LOVED THIS GIRL. I wish we kept in contact, I swear I had heart eyes and I'm straight af. She was so intriguing and we became such good friends... I miss her. She was an Aries Sun, Aries Moon, Scorpio Rising. The coolest chick.

🍻I have 12th Pluto and Chiron (whole sign) and in the 11th house (Placidus) and I ghost everyone. Most times it's unintentional. Due to some issues at home, I up and left my hometown in the middle of the night to live with my boyfriend a couple states away and the next day my friends were like "Wtf? Where are you?".

🍻Guys I am the queen of running away when things get hard. Even when I was young. I'm not really sure what would indicate this? Maybe Uranus/Neptune in the 1st? 12th house Sagittarius? No clue. I'm a master escapist physcially, mentally, substance-ly ;).

🍻I have never had a "dream job" (Sun and Neptune square MC). All I know is I will be rich. I know it in my heart. I fucking better be.

🍻Actually ^ not true I wanted to be an Astronaut when I was like 5. URANUS IN THE 1ST... I am one with the aliens. This works for Aquarius rising, Uranus/Aquarius Dominant.

🍻Capricorn Rising/Saturn in the 5th house here and for all of you that claim prominent Capricorn placements are boring... let me tell you something... we are busy getting rich so fuck you

🍻I think prominent Earth placements (esp Cap), it's not the materialism that comes with being rich that we want... its the security. Like if life goes wrong in anyway, at least we have the resources to somehow make it better. It's a security blanket. I'd rather be crying in a mansion than crying in a shack. ALSO, most of us know what it's like to grow up poor or below the middle class line.

🍻So my placements - Lilith in the 1st house especially. I'm always reading posts about being sexually wanted or some version of that. Let me tell you I wear sweatpants and sweatshirts most of the time. That profile pic over there? Yeah I don't look like that most days. I feel like since this placement gets sexualized a lot and gets exposed sexually at a young age ... it results in this. Male attention? I used to need that, now I hate men (at least most of them). Scorpio MC and Lilith in Capricorn too.

🍻Scorpio MC - yes I want to be feared. I want to hold power over people that makes them think twice about fucking with me. But not feared in a way that they think I'm mean or rude... feared as in powerful, like a boss type of way. In reality, I run from confrontation and am too scared to stick up for myself but WE ARE WORKING ON IT. Check back in 10 years. I feel like Sun/Lilith in the 10th house, prominent Capricorn placements, prominent Scorpio placements, Aries placements, and Leo placements feel this too.

🍻I have Mars in the 7th house and in terms of romantic relationships, yes I am the problem.

🍻Aries in the 3rd house and the only person I've physcially fought is my sister. I beat the hoe.

🍻MY SISTER ... OK, HOLD ON NOW. SIT DOWN FOR THIS ONE. Let me know WHY this girl is a Taurus Sun, Taurus Moon, Aries Mercury, Taurus Venus, Virgo Mars... (I think her rising is Virgo but not confirmed) ... she goes into work one day, 2 hours late cause she overslept and when her boss confronted her she said "I don't believe in the concept of time" WTF. This is the only thing that makes me doubt astrology. Just kidding, I guess its all the Taurus but ??? Still I'm confused.

🍻Since she was Earth dominant ^, she never had to study for tests in school. She had an almost perfect average and never studied. Meanwhile my ADHD ass (Moon square Jupiter, Sun/Mars (3rd house ruler) opposition Neptune, Neptune in the 1st, Sun opposition Uranus) struggled with a 2.8 in high school.

🍻My mom is a Taurus Sun Libra Moon and my dad is a Scorpio Sun Sagittarius Moon. They aren't together anymore, but when I tell you they're children in old people bodies... me and my parents are more like friends if anything. I was never grounded, never in trouble for what other people my age were in trouble for, and my friends liked them more than me I swear.

🍻Having a lot of Leo in the chart mixed with a healthy scoop of Cancer may make someone kind of dramatic... but it's how I really feel guys ok? Yes, the fact that I have to wake up tomorrow at 8am is sending me rn. Off a ledge. Into a river. Never to return. I would rather eat dirt.

🍻12th house profection year and I never want to go to bed. I never want the day to end. Sleep is a bummer right now. Even when I do sleep I wake up like 100 times. Mostly cause my cat needs pets and who am I to deny him?

🍻ANYONE WITH AN EARTH MOON, ESPECIALLY VIRGO LIKE ME OR 6TH HOUSE. Get a pet. Get one. They rely on you and need you and love you to death. Someone/something NEEDING an Earth/Virgo Moon?! A dream. I love to be needed. I have a dog (1 year) and two kitties (7 months)... they are my literal children that I birthed.

🍻My boyfriend is a Cancer Sun, Aquarius Moon, Leo Mercury & Venus, and Libra Mars... I would pay money to see the female version of him. He's such a brat. BUT he is so fun to be around and is my best friend. His moon is in my 1st house, Sun in my 7th, Venus in my 8th and Mars in my 9th.

🍻Speaking of Aquarius Moon... I've met people with this moon sign and all of them have a detached sense of family in some way or another. Whether they don't have a close relationship with them or they're super independent. My boyfriend was adopted!

That's all for tonight folks xoxo

If I offended you in anyway, no I didn't.

[cactuslester]

okay!!! oakland show post!

i had so so much funnnn it was the best night ever!!! i went alone and was pretty nervous because even though ive been to shows and concerts alone before, i'd never been to something that had so much "waiting time" like between the m&g and preshow & show, but truly everyone was so so friendly, and it was so easy to meet people and make friends in line, so if anyone is still wondering if they should get a ticket and are worried about going alone, DO IT. it's so worth it, and phannies are lovely <3

so the m&g! this is my first time meeting both of them so i was so nervous and so excited. the line moved faster than i was prepared for it to (sarah was at the front of the line making sure everyone had their cameras ready and knew what they wanted to get signed. i'm so face blind i kept thinking about how familiar she looked but didn't realize that was sarah until it was almost my turn lmaooo), but the actual interaction didn't feel rushed. i gave them the letters i had written for them. i had tried to get metallic green envelopes but couldn't find any, and i told them that, and dan immediately knew what i was talking about and pointed knowingly at phil lmao <3

i brought tabinof and a mini lesbian flag which was between the pages in case they'd have time to sign both and they did! while they were signing i asked my questions. i asked phil for book recs and he said project hail mary, which i think he's mentioned in a preshow before. he said it's space/sci fi and he really liked it. i asked dan his thoughts on this f1 season, and he said "i think it's been quite a good season! it started off and it was like 'max is gonna win everything' and then it was like 'no he's not 🤪'"

and then dan took our selfies, and i'm rly happy with how they turned out 🥺 so here's them being cute sans me lol

they are indeed really good at making you feel comfortable and just generally being very nice and chill. they sounded more british than i was expecting? which is crazy given i allegedly know exactly what they sound like having watched their videos for 12 years, but still, hearing it up close was still kinda crazy. they are indeed very spindly, im glad i wore platforms so i was at least a little bit taller than i usually am

i Did forget to ask phil my follow up question which was if he would ever do a book recs video/livestream, and i also forgot to tell them that the sappy shit and also some recs for boston food is in the letters, but w/e they'll read those sooner or later, and at least i rmred the most important things. oh also phil's blue eyed stare really is So intense, i can definitely see how his aura can be intimidating (but he rly was so sweet <3). dan is so teddy bear vibes though, not intimidating at all <3

i was towards the end of the m&g line, so after my m&g ended, preshow started ~45 minutes later. the energy at this preshow felt rly married and silly, it was so fun. they definitely have someone prune the phlit questions (but im not sure if whoever does it just grabs them randomly or if they actually read and pick which ones dnp read), since not all of my questions were answered. but i cant complain bc they answered two of mine, which i'll post the videos for tn. but i asked if they're digital hoarders, and they said no (liars), and then dan talked about how phil's desktop is disorganized. and i also asked about their fave recent horror movie, and they both said the substance, which i've been wanting to watch!

and oh my god the show itself was CRAZY. like even though i've been looking at spoilers this entire time, i still wasn't fully prepared (maybe i'll put my more spoilery thoughts in a reblog later). they were so energetic, and their stage presence is magnetic. i think it was a good night for them, as far as i remember, no lines were obviously Forgotten, and any tripping over lines was minor. the show had silly parts, it had serious parts, it was just so Them. you really can feel how comfortable and happy they feel in this new era and, like they talked about in the phukbang, that they feel that their audience is truly Theirs now. the show was so good i Did log onto ticketmaster and google flights to san diego after work today but due to flight prices and work, i fear it's not happening, but god i do want to see it again immediately 😔

finally, thank you to all the wonderful phannies i met!!! i had such a lovely time chatting w/carolina, esmeralda, orion, and winter, who aren't on tumblr 😔 and of course with molly @finalfeudfiend!!! we were seat neighbors, partners in phannie crimes for the night, and also they took my m&g video (mwah mwah tysmmmm molly <333). it was really so great to meet everyone, and all my worries about going alone were totally unfounded <3

here are the bracelets and photocards i got! the far left bracelet is from the vip merch bag, and the rest are from phannies, they say super amazing project, sister daniel, and father philip. i am sooo happy with my photocard pulls. the top row were from the pack that came w/vip merch, and the bottom row i got separately. impossible to pick faves really, but some of mine are of course uni hoodies, holographic hearts tongue out phil, phil looking so polite, and smiley peace sign dannie <333

and that's that! much love to dnp and phannies for making it such a wonderful night. having watched their videos for so long, it was so special to get to see and meet them, i had the best time ever <333

[katnissdoesnotfollowback]

Headcanon: Katniss tries to help Peeta at the bakery and burns her wrist. From then on until it heals after her bath at night Peeta sits behind her on the bed and brushes out her hair slowly and rhythmically

Can I interest you in some domestic post-mj fluff (or maybe it's hurt/comfort?). You'd think I'd know how to classify this by now. Rated somewhere between G and T depending on how you feel about non sexual nudity.

Enjoy!

<3 kdnfb

I’ve always hated burns. The way even the smallest of them causes excruciating pain. And now I have hundreds of reasons to hate them. And even though, as a baker, Peeta’s used to small burns on his own skin, he always submits to my care when I demand he let me soothe his hurts with whatever cold substance we have available. Ice from the freezer. Cold water from the tap. Snow from the ground if it’s winter and he tells me about the burn while we’re walking home.

But that hasn’t made it easy for me to accept his caring when I hurt myself. Sometimes, I’d rather hide it from him and find a closet to hide in while the memories of my sister feel contained in that tiny new burn, making the already unbearable pain into something unimaginable. At times, I think I may combust once again, the blaze starting at the new wound and consuming me within seconds.

This time, though, I can’t hide it. Peeta was right beside me as we were baking. He was trying to show me how to make the cheese rolls I love so much.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper as he holds my arm under the tap, running it full cold over my wrist. His grip on me is too tight to allow me to even pull back, let alone escape and run away.

I watch his jaw clench and rest my forehead on his chest, repeating my apology as the tears in my eyes burn almost as badly as my wrist. I want to collapse, but Peeta’s body pressing me against the sink won’t allow for even that.

“Stop it, Katniss. Stop apologizing.”

“I ruined them. I ruined the rolls,” I whimper and turn my head enough to spot them still scattered on the floor from where I dropped the tray after it slipped just enough in my grip to burn my wrist.

“I don’t care about the rolls,” he says and then twists his body, reaching for the cabinet where we keep the burn creams.

He sets it down on the counter and then grabs my chin, forcing my head up to look at him.

“Hey. Look at me, Katniss. I’m right here. Don’t look away. Say it.”

I take a few deep breaths, entranced by the depths in those blue eyes. The plea in them that whispers to me, begs me to understand his terseness. “You don’t care about the rolls.”

“I really don’t. Come on. Let’s get some ointment on this.”

It still stings, the ingredients designed to continue cooling the area and numb it as well. But it’s never enough to completely get rid of the pain.

I only know when he’s done because Peeta scoops me into his arms and carries me upstairs. He sets me down on the bathroom counter and starts the water in the tub, drizzling in fragrant oils. 

“I’ll be right back,” he says and gently kisses my forehead. “I’m just going to make sure Buttercup doesn’t find the rolls and try to eat them. Don’t get in the tub alone.”

He’s only gone for a few minutes. I don’t budge during that time, but the tub is close to being full so Peeta turns off the water and helps me down from the counter, slowly stripping me, careful of my burned wrist. Then he lifts me up and lowers me into the tub.

As his arms retreat, he grips my injured arm and holds it out of the water before setting it on top of a rolled towel on the edge of the tub. I’m only half there as he brings a stool, screeching loudly on the tile floor, right next to the tub. Only half noticing the feel of his hands washing my body, all except for the injured arm. 

But he must wash my hair because when I am able to note my surroundings again, we’re seated on the bed, positioned so that I’m gazing out the window, watching the breeze play with the curtains and the vibrantly red, orange, and yellow leaves shivering in the trees outside. I turn my head slightly when I feel a tug on my hair and realize that Peeta is drying my hair. Carefully gathering up bunches of it and squeezing out the the water, absorbing into a soft towel. Again and again and again.

“Start your list,” he suggests and I inhale the soothing scent of the cream I use in my hair to make the tangles easier to brush out. The scent of rose oil, but not the cloying, mutated smell of Snow. Gentler, wilder, softer. Peeta works the oil in my hair as I start the list, with Cinna this time, because Peeta’s hands in my hair reminds me of my old friend.

My eyes drift shut and Peeta hums encouragingly as I keep talking. He brandishes a comb and when I shiver, he pauses.

“Are you alright?”

“It’s soothing, don’t stop just…” He waits and I breathe in deeply. “I used to comb Prim’s hair, when Mom couldn’t and… I miss my mother braiding my hair.”

“I know. I’m sorry I’m such a poor substitute,” he says, lighthearted and without any self-pity.

No one needs me.

I lean back and turn my head, until I can see his face. I bend my uninjured arm to cup his jaw and his hands fall away from my hair.

“Say it,” I whisper and tug on his blonde curls until his lips brush mine. “Say it, Peeta.”

“You like it when I comb your hair. Real or not real?”

“Real. Say the rest.”

“I’m not a poor substitute.”

We’re distracted for a moment as his lips move over mine. Until he gently pushes me forwards again.

“Let me finish, impatient,” he teases and I smile, ever so slightly. 

He resumes combing my hair. Steady and rhythmic, not unlike the way he kneads dough in the bakery, only much softer and gentler. Still, I find myself humming a quiet tune. A love song I remember my father singing for my mother. I don’t sing just yet though and the smile still curves over my lips when he’s done and secures the end of my braid with a leather hair tie. He bends over then and kisses my bare shoulder. 

It’s only then that I realize I’m wrapped in only a towel and stand to put on a nightgown. After, Peeta applies more ointment to my arm.

Every day after that, he helps me bathe and braid my hair, careful to keep my injured arm clean and dry until I can stand water on it again. When we finally deem the burn healed enough to no longer need bandages, I ask him to join me in the tub and scoot forward after he undresses, leaving room for him to sink into the water with me, His thighs hugging tight to my hips and his lips soft on my shoulders, the back of my neck. He gently grasps my wrist and bends my arm until he can kiss the small new scar. And after we bathe, he combs and braids my hair for bed.

[madfantasy]

To fan art and fiction enjoyers:

Please excuse my rage slipping if it happened over having to address this literal mediocrity of a subject in comparison to endless things that actually matters in real life. Because this would be at the scrapping bottom of it, but since the occasion presented itself, here we are:

Do you know there are some, let's say, manners, being in fandoms, and/or in using social media in general? NOOO? 8U

Well, Lets start somewhere!

Like it or not, YOU NEED TO ACTUALLY READ STUFF PEOPLE WRITE. Before you follow, before you comment, before you interact, because if you come across something you don't like, or you started to assume things— that's a you problem and not the fault of the poster.

If you DO NOT enjoy a character, a pair of ship, or a certain head cannon, filter the tag it's used for, Google has free tutorials on how. Most social media have these settings and most decent posters tag their posts correctly. If you keep seeing that pair, you can block the people who create it. You are free to do so ofc but WHY WOULD U come on main and air that out? Personally I find it so bizarre and it could show the type of person you are to other people — a toxic company over fictional substance — and I'd say that is not a flex, more like showing your dirty nappy in public. Those characters you love are not real and so not effected by your high ground stance, but actual humans that share you that love notice and get that impression, and it's a weird one. You SHOULD, of course, set your boundaries, and usually where that is be in your profile, on your bio or a pinned post.

Loving bizarre, villainous, creepy concepts DOES NOT EQUAL morality, nor loving good sunshine and flowers does. It's what a person does in real life what counts, not what they consume in entertainment. In fact, it is not a sign of a good person those who be shaming humans who like different fictional concepts. Or when someone keeps using ai generators knowing full well it's based on constant data theft of all sort of human creators across generations and can not exist without the continuance of this theft. Or those supporting creators that they know did irl crimes. Or those who are Policing what's can and cannot go into fiction as if the fickleness of preference have never let alot of things survive its judgement. And I can go on with the miniature examples. You are forgiven if you did not know before, some people learn through experience, but not anymore when you continue this behaviour. And maybe if you can't differentiate between reality and fiction, and what's more important than what, maybe, just maybe, you shouldn't be consuming fiction.

DO NOT POST WHAT YOU DID NOT CREATE. Do you like it when people keep posting your selfies that you only ment to share for funsies and what not? Isn't worse if you did not post that selfie in the first place or never wanted it to be used like that? It's the SAME FOR ART. This is the artists work just as much as your face is yours. Social media at the baseline is about who ever the poster is, their posts are theirs. So you posting an artist's drawing, with no permission, no credit to them, no nothing, is not allowed and people can report that. Don't be an ignorant thick fig and play the victim when schooled like this precious dear\s .Reposters disconnect so many content from their creators and this is how alot of beautiful things in life die, by simply not knowing they are loved, shoved into the over consumption machine..

And lastly, You don't have anything nice to say to OP? Don't say anything! It's not your misguided duty to educate people on how embarrassingly self centered you are, it's okay to be a basic #&★— I promise. It okay to feel out of place in a niche that doesn't concern you. It's okay to realise other people have different perspectives of the fiction work you enjoy. You can sit down.

And I'd like to add, Mani is a safe space for au and ships even if I don't like em, cuz they are only FICTION and will remain FICTION no matter how much I loved them or hated them.

Good day, dears🍀

[kijosakka]

Thoughts. okay so the total drama drama drama drama island special is interesting mainly bc of team e-scope but im going to take a moment here to ramble about his dynamic with other people here,,

(oh and i didn't have anywhere really to slot it into the other post or segue into it here but dodgebrawl as a Moment demonstrates how [this AU] noah can play the social game, just in a very very different way than how it's normally seen.

he knows what he's doing is going to bother his team and incentivize them to vote, i'd say in this au he even plays up the cockiness and makes veiled personal slights against specific people

(mainly those who would be annoyed enough to vote him off, see: heather, justin, leshawna, cody/trent to some extent if he said smth about gwen? < and gwen herself in that scenario. and to another extent beth, since hes playing up his outright mean traits, which would make lindsay vote with her. i dont think he would do anything specific to/with owen or izzy, since he may see izzy as too volatile and owen too genuine)

in the opposite way of whats expected, sure, but it is a social play. he can pick apart what these people are and what they show and push at it to achieve his own ends (and maybe its even some sort of way for him to regain control in this fundamentally uncontrollable situation he's found himself in; he can be the punishment in foucalt's imagining, to a much smaller degree))

so his teammates,,, do not like him tbh. his flagrant display during dodgeball and everyone being pissed at him after the fact is true in this AU, just coming with different motivations. even after the fact when the frustration of everyone fizzles out, hes still majorly offputting because of his detachedness, and deliberately makes his shown traits very unpalatable to experience in person combined with that.

the only two exceptions are izzy and owen respectively: owens mostly coming from a place of genuineness and im going to say while he wouldnt be able to verbalize it, in some manner owen would clock noahs behavior as a defense mechanism. maybe in the sense of 'hes just scared to open up to people!!' or something similar, but he definitely has a lot more faith that noah really isnt that cold and flat.

[*]izzy feels much the same -- except maybe it comes off more to her as strategic. izzy can act, and might recognize that in noah. if you wanted to you could write this in as to why she was eager to swap teams in the first episode, but it wouldnt change that he does get eliminated and thats all she sees of him until the special -- which, her intrigue in his lacking and the fact that it apparently wasnt strategic to get him further in the game, could help explain why she picks him in the team-up.

[*i have soooo much to say about izzy in this au actually. but ill save it for a diff post]

and speaking of the team-up: team e-scope!!!! :0

my au my rules eva and izzy became really good friends on the playa; izzy isn't afraid of eva (and curbing her anger before it reaches a boiling point) and eva is physically adept enough to restrain izzy from Shenanigans that might be a little Much. but eva doesnt really?? know anything about noah?? but izzy insists on teaming with him for the special (and unbeknownst to her noah wasnt even planning to participate initially) so he must be some level of Not Too Bad if izzy wants anything to do with him that doesnt seem to be related to tormenting the guy

and she thinks hes Fine. apathetic and detached and unpalatable (but then again, everyone in their little trio really is to some degree), but can kind of understand izzys intrigue: hes still A Guy, hes just hidden behind 20 layers of non-substance that are so offputting from the first meeting it makes people steer clear of him.

now with tddddi comes two other pertinent details: the justin line, and the Thing With Duncan.

i personally thing noahs 'he's the anti-me' line is really funny in the context of canon but if you squint it kinda works here? wherein justin is non-speaking yet flaunts himself to be the center of attention and clearly shows intent and capacity to scheme (underdeveloped or no, see: awakeathon), whereas noah speaks a lot yet lets himself fade into the background, showing vague hints of the capacity to scheme but no intention or palpable ambition behind it.

^ am i reaching? maybe. the other option here is noah somehow has seen him in-person before on a modeling or red carpet kind of gig and dislikes him on principle because of it/its a jab at it (smth smth they are both opposite ends of the same industry? justin is the face of it in a manner where noah stays behind the scenes and out of sight)

and the thing with duncan,, hear me out here okay noah does his whole song and dance, goes up to him and patronizes him, and duncan retaliates. however, he curses like a sailor and in noah's head has ruined the footage, therefore instead of further retaliating and potentially invoking actual physical harm he just. doesnt react. at all. duncan looks up at him and hes just dead-eyed staring down at him -- and then he leaves.

^ the scene has been ruined, and everyone else is doing so much that theres no reason to play it up any more. duncan and him arent plot important like how heather and lindsay were, theres no reason for the crew to painstakingly edit his swearing out. they just wont let it reach the final cut. duncan is understandably very confused by this, but at that point noah was already gone to find eva and izzy again (< this is when the cast having a running bet that noahs and android becomes Not a Joke)

but life goes on!!! and in the worlds worst comedy of errors (for noah), izzy ends up dragging him along into the lake, thereby leaving him as a confirmed member of the next season.

^ noah is so angry at this. popping blood vessels. he argues with chris endlessly, straight frothing at the mouth at only having two days of real reprieve before he has to deal with the Same Shit again. and chris gets this, to some degree, but also knows that if theres no explanation for noahs non-appearance to hand the producers, theyll be pissed (since all things considered, noahs pretty damn popular among the fans)

luckily for him, courtney just filed a lawsuit against the show!! and since chris is busy running said show, the producers do not want to deal with it and are willing to hand off the case to anyone else -- hence, chris officially signs noah on as his PA, and noah takes over the court settlements and whatnot.

< though i do imagine the producers would see it as a 'get out of the show' scheme, and thereby push way harder for his involvement in WT as a result

but noah does get a break!!! for now, at least.

[runwayrunway]

No. 54 - Ryanair

You are watching a video on a popular video sharing service. It is a full episode of a popular and long-running show, generously uploaded for free. It is narrated by a calm man with a BBC accent of the sort which belongs exclusively in documentaries.

The narrator names a date between 1903 and the current year. It is accompanied by a location - an airport. An airplane is on approach. It has a certain number of people on board, and it flies for some airline. There are pilots, most likely two of them. They make some sort of mistake, and maybe there's an issue with the weather, or the ILS is down, or the instruments are giving misleading information, or some other thing has gone tailcone over teakettle in an alarmingly short timespan and now their approach is tremendously unstable. They aren't on the glideslope. They're too fast or too slow. They really need to declare a missed approach, but for whatever reason they don't.

The plane lands, or 'lands' - finds itself on the ground, regardless - either on or short of the runway. It bounces, or flips over, or just pancakes into the ground. The fuselage cracks, or splits, or peels open, or horribly catches fire. There is an evacuation. It's all very stressful at minimum, and an unmitigated tragedy at worst.

You scroll down to the comments for some reason. "Average Ryanair landing," says one near the top.

Ryanair (not to be confused with Ryan Air, a real but unrelated airline) is Europe's largest air carrier. It has over 550 airplanes and serves over 200 destinations. It is difficult to imagine an airline with a worse reputation - their CEO is a literal troll, their customer service is legendarily poor, and their ultra-low-cost model is one in which you inevitably get what you pay for. They are memetically despised, and their rough landings are the stuff of legend.

And yet their livery is understated, with a certain head-held-high gravitas. It is difficult to describe the legitimate cognitive dissonance which arises from Ryanair's aerosartorial choices, an effect that seems to touch more people than just me. On another airline, I wouldn't find this livery particularly thought-provoking. Enough substance to write a post about, but not something which lurks in my mind and draws my attention. But on Ryanair, it's downright fascinating.

I've said what I've said, but I'm actually a defender of Ryanair. Look, it's like getting a ticket on a bus or the metro. It's cheap (at least in theory - they seem to be getting pricier lately) and it gets you where you need to go and it's probably not going to be that long of a flight anyway so, I mean, whatever. I've flown some pretty long flights before in-flight entertainment was standard, Ryanair is fine. I never even noticed the hard landings until I saw people talking about them, and to be perfectly honest I didn't notice them afterward either. Maybe I'm just not bothered by hard landings, the same way I'm not bothered by turbulence. Who really knows? My point is that I'm something of a Ryanair apologist. I live in the US, where you just don't get dirt cheap flights like that and getting anywhere outside of your home metropolitan area by train (and even sometimes bus) costs even more than flying. Ryanair could make me board the plane by abseiling up it myself to save money on airstairs and I'd be fine with it if the price was right. I'm not a millionaire. I haven't got the money to go jetsetting around Europe on a real airline. So I mean this when I say it: thank goodness for Ryanair.

I mean, I'm not saying this because Ryanair is good, don't get me wrong. They are the Big Bill Hell's of airlines. They are the closest thing we have to John Mulaney's version of Delta. Ryanair is not just no-frills, it's hot-glued fabric scraps in the vague shape of a garment. They are legitimately comical in their commitment to service so Kafkaesquely bad that you almost wish you'd travelled by trebuchet instead! And all this for the low, low price of...well, I mean, they do get pretty low.

When I released my first questionnaire I added a question about Ryanair specifically because of its reputation and my own feelings about the airline. Multiple people did agree with me - well, it's definitely not comfortable at all, you won't enjoy yourself, but it's so obscenely cheap that this isn't really objectionable. You are getting exactly what you pay for. And, well, if you do want some semblance of the full-service experience you can pay an extra fee. Or a lot of extra fees. That's how they get you. The ULCC model relies on stripping out everything possible and then charging you extra for it. That does mean that if you need things like printed boarding passes or the ability to pay by credit card that come standard with literally any other airline you could end up paying a decent amount for your miserable cramped flight, but if you truly want the bare minimum they will charge you appropriately, and that is so important to me, because I have too little money to insist on being comfortable.

I do feel...particularly sorry for one respondent.

It isn't bad press they are legitimately a nightmare. A attendant once lied to me and told me that type of plane just didn't have toilets (it did. There was a working toilet on board) then proceeded to lecture me about 'not planning ahead and going in the airport'

This is kind of hilarious in a sad way and I'm very sorry that this happened to you. Ryanair is infamous for its bad customer service but it's rare you'll hear about cabin crew behaving this poorly at any airline. While this particular incident was a one-off, you probably will have a pretty miserable time if you need to call the airline about literally anything.

One person just answered 'bitches'.

Well, that answers the question "what is Ryanair", but why is Ryanair?

The world is full of low-cost carriers. Wizz Air, EasyJet, airasia, Allegiant, Jetstar, FlySafair, Volaris, T'Way, Azul, Nok Air, Frontier, Lion Air, jetBlue, and SpiceJet are just some of the dozens which fill the skies. They are often colourful, frequently grumbled about, and essential.

Low-cost carriers, and especially ULCCs, are a relatively recent phenomenon. They only sprung into being after aviation stopped being by necessity a luxury product. It's generally agreed that PSA (Pacific Southwest Airlines), an intrastate carrier from California colloquially known as the Poor Sailor's Airline, was the first low-cost carrier. While the large interstate carriers of the time had a sort of detached gravitas to both their services and their prices, and were often prevented from lowering said prices anyway due to federal taxes that didn't apply to intrastate carriers like PSA, a ticket on "The World's Friendliest Airline" was cheap and the service was casual and personable. The low-cost model is built on being an option for a normal person. If you don't have the money to fly TWA, you can fly on an airline which is made for normal people and charges you accordingly.

The model didn't really catch on immediately, though. I couldn't exactly say why - it might have to do with the lack of demand for air travel that wasn't either commuter flights or long-haul. There was some activity in the market, with Loftleiðir (a precursor to Icelandair) offering cheap-as-dirt transatlantic flights in the 60s and Laker Airways having a three-year tenure in the late 70s serving a similar market from a Western European base. Even today the long-haul low-cost market they served is notoriously difficult to make anything work in.

What is generally thought to be the next major player in low-cost airlines, Southwest, emerged in 1971. David Neeleman further refined the model, first with innovations in cost-cutting at Morris Air and later by raising the bar for customer experience at jetBlue. David Neeleman, though, was active right at the turn of the millennium. Low-cost carriers only really began to emerge in real numbers in the 80s and 90s, with examples that are long-gone, like the infamous ValuJet, existing alongside ones US residents have probably seen at their local airport, like Spirit.

Spirit is different from jetBlue and Southwest. Spirit Airlines is not just a low-cost carrier but an ultra low-cost carrier. As the name suggests, the difference is one of scale. A low-cost carrier provides less comprehensive and less ritzy service than a full-service airline, but they do so in the tradition of PSA, trying to provide a comfortable experience that makes people want to choose their airline. The ULCC model, on the other hand, guts out literally every possible feature and then dangles it in front of you on a string, telling you to pay extra if you want it. These airlines do not provide a good experience. There will be no baggage allowances, no extra legroom, and no priority boarding. The base fare, however, is almost absurdly low relative to even low-cost carriers, and as air travel becomes a fact of life more and more the humble ULCC becomes a necessary part of the ecosystem as the only way many people can afford to travel.

Ryanair is technically 38 years old, but it's only been a low-cost carrier since 1990. This pivot is the brainchild of then-CFO, now CEO (and ouster of the eponymous Ryan) Michael O'Leary, one of the wealthiest and most unpleasant men in Ireland.

image: Associated Press Yes, this is actually a real image of the CEO of Ryanair. I imagine this may clear up a thing or two.

Why is Ryanair? Because Michael O'Leary, is the simple answer. Michael O'Leary is - and there is genuinely no better way to describe the man - a troll. If you take David Neeleman's image during his tenure at jetBlue, a sweet everyman trying to improve the experience by sitting in on flights and giving up his salary to employee medical funds, Michael O'Leary is the literal exact opposite of him on every point. A self-described "gobshite" and "obnoxious little bollocks" who has admitted to "not liking" aeroplanes, Michael O'Leary is a cruel, selfish, belligerent, publicity-seeking freakazoid on a mission to piss off everyone in Europe which has so far been largely successful.

I don't want anything I say about the man to come off as positive. Michael O'Leary is a wealthy ghoul (and, yes, he was born wealthy, no rags in his tale) who publicly berates, mistreats, and underpays his staff. He has expressed prejudice against racial and religious minorities, fat and disabled passengers, women, and just about anyone who expects to be treated with some measure of dignity. He has committed legitimate crimes, like impersonating journalists. He denies climate change and has accumulated his massive wealth by abusing the pilots and cabin crew who keep Ryanair adequate. In 2010 Ryanair was named one of the least ethical companies in the world. The fact that he is so absurd as to be hilarious isn't an endorsement or a defense of him.

That said, here is a short, curated list of Michael O'Leary's, and Ryanair's broadly (as their public image is really an extension of his and vice versa) most Ryanair shenanigans:

O'Leary installed a taxicab license plate on his luxury car and driving it in the bus lane to avoid traffic.

Advertisements have taken open and somewhat sneering shots at other major European airlines, like Lufthansa ('bye by Late-hansa'), British Airways ('expensive BAstards'), and the now-defunct Sabena (using a reference to the famous Manneken Pis statue). These have not been simple comparisons but outright name-calling.

One time they advertised sales to 'sunny' vacation destinations, like Norway.

Generally, their advertisements push so many boundaries that they were once found to have committed seven violations of advertising law in just two years, and I'm shocked they didn't begin an ad campaign centring around this dubious achievement.

They frequently misbrand airports way outside of major cities as being in that major city, with the most insane example being "Vienna Bratislava" - yes, Bratislava, the one in Slovakia.

Pilots are forced to pay for simulator checks while cabin crew are forced to pay for uniforms and training. Employees are even forbidden from charging their phones from office sockets, apparently.

Sometimes passengers are forced to carry their own luggage to the planes! Not carryons, luggage.

O'Leary, in a bold move, outright denied that the 2010 eruption of Eyjafjallajökull had created a massive cloud of volcanic ash hazardous to airplanes (it very obviously had).

He also said he would like for there to be a recession, since it would let Ryanair keep costs low. He said this in 2008.

One time he said travel agents ("fuckers") should be shot .

O'Leary claimed that Ryanair would begin offering business class, featuring "beds and blowjobs". I'm personally not sure I would want a Ryanair blowjob. That sounds really horrible.

Also, bold coming from an airline with no seatback pockets.

Apparently they tried to get planes delivered with no window shades (though they weren't able to because of regulations).

They've floated the idea of standing seats. I don't believe this will or indeed could ever happen but it definitely is truly dystopian.

Ryanair keeps trying to buy Aer Lingus. They keep failing, and they keep trying. Obviously, everyone in Ireland has a vested interest in making sure this does not happen.

Fundamentally, Ryanair doesn't care. They can and will essentially throw tantrums to get airports to charge them lower operating fees and if they can't get an airport to do this they just won't operate there. It's like negotiating with a seven-year-old. Except that seven-year-old is Europe's largest airline.

They wanted to buy the C919. This isn't, like, a bad thing, it's just really strange for a hardcore Boeing loyalist airline and I can't imagine how it would save them money.

image: Robot8A This is the interior of a Ryanair plane. Note the safety cards attached to the seatbacks due to the lack of pockets, plus additional adverts on the seatbacks and overhead bins like this is a sports match in a massive stadium. It's also just quite ugly.

Fundamentally, Ryanair is just perpetually doing Ryanair things. Why is Ryanair? Because Ryanair is one giant publicity stunt. A couple of people answered my question by referencing the CEO saying he'd like to charge people to use the toilet, and that's sort of true in the sense that he's said he'd like to do this, but he's always been pretty clear that it's a publicity stunt:

Short of committing murder, negative publicity sells more seats than positive publicity.

Like, it's a bit. He's doing a bit. He's 100% in on the joke. For every one of the more particularly insane claims, like charging to use the toilets, he's outright denied it. Even some claims that are pretty borderline are ones he's contradicted at other points. He's a legitimate bigot who's created one of the most nightmarish work environments out there and just wants to suck money out of people by any means necessary, and he's indefensible, but that's not really what people talk about when they talk about Ryanair. They talk about charging for toilets.

Charging for toilets continues to be the number one story that resurfaces in the press and it’s the gift that keeps on giving. We’ve never done it, but it keeps coming up on social networks every three or four months, the media picks up on it and then someone writes a story on it.

Which I think is misplaced effort when he's also, for instance, a climate change denier who forces disabled passengers to pay for wheelchairs. And I don't believe for a second his climate change denial is based on legitimate convictions - he just doesn't want to have to spend more money. He would absolutely knowingly feed the world into an incinerator if it lowered costs.

Anyway, here is a picture of him having his face violently introduced to a pie.

image: Olivier Hoslet

All of this said, there's no such thing as an ethical airline - he's just playing it up to the extreme for essentially business clickbait.

I feel like the best example of Ryanair's general...Ryanairness is their Twitter account, which I have a sneaking suspicion Michael O'Leary runs himself to save money. It's mostly composed of firing back at complaining customers, Formula 1 opinions, and jabs at everyone from Boris Johnson to the British Museum. (Heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point.) Their description, 'we sell seats, not windows', references the frequent complaints about seat 11A, which does not have a window. (To be fair, their website does warn you about this.) Their weird window situation actually generated my all-time favourite Ryanair tweet.

Here are some other winners.

No, seriously, I think Michael O'Leary might be writing these. I also really don't know how to feel about the fact that it appears someone at the airline - potentially O'Leary himself - has made an edit of a yassified Ryanair plane.

But at the end of the day, it's Ryanair. O'Leary himself has described aeroplanes as "a bus with wings on". As one individual tweeted,

THANK YOU to [Ryanair], for letting me see Europe for Feck All

and that's why I do think I genuinely have primarily positive feelings about Ryanair as a product rather than a company - you truly do see Europe for Feck All. (O'Leary has claimed both that he would introduce $10 transatlantic tickets to the US, and that he would make tickets literally free and make all profits from ancillary fees - while neither has yet happened, it takes one hell of an airline to claim that it's on the table.)

Ryanair isn't affordable, it's dime store. It's an airline you bought from Wish.com. It's the free pen you stole from a cup of identical pens at the bank which stops working within days. You're not just in steerage, you're on a tramp steamer. You get exactly the misery you pay for, and you go from one place to a different place.

And it's worth noting that Ryanair has at least one positive feature - safety.

When I ran my first questionnaire I asked respondents what type of airline they thought was most dangerous. Other than what's shown there was also an option for mainline full service carriers; unsurprisingly, nobody chose this. There were 50 respondents but 5 declined to answer this particular question, so the sample size isn't really significant enough to draw any conclusions from, but it's what I have. (I kind of wish I could stop to re-run this with my current follower count, but this post is actually a request. No, not for my wonderful beloved followers - for my dentist. Not joking. Thank you for making my teeth not have holes in them.)

20% of respondents indicated that low-cost or ultra-low-cost airlines probably had the worst safety records and practices. It's completely understandable why someone would think this, but without going into the actual statistics of plane crashes this simply isn't true, and in fact they're the safest category on here. While it obviously depends on the specific airline, low-cost carriers as a category are no less safe than mainline carriers. This is despite the fact that they tend to fly shorter flights and thus they operate more takeoffs and landings, which are the points in a flight where the majority of crashes occur.

How does that make sense? Well, part of it is that the airline industry has gotten very close to eliminating accidental crashes via innovations in technology and an incredible safety culture built on years of hard lessons. The world has paid in blood for crew resource management and GPWS, but it has paid, and now the sorts of crashes that would have been unremarkable just 20 years ago are completely unthinkable. Actually, in the 2010s it's quite possible more people were killed by planes brought down deliberately than accidents. But beyond that, the costs low-cost airlines cut tend to be ones that aren't safety-critical. They tend to operate shiny new fleets (better fuel efficiency, purchased in bulk) with large maintenance teams (shorter turnaround and less planes grounded for long periods of time) at less congested airports (lower operating fees) and indeed when I think about famous accidents that involve massive cutting of corners it's nearly always full-service airlines, save for egregious examples of low-cost industry pariahs out of business within a few years. Focusing on eliminating operating costs by making the passenger experience cramped and miserable allows for pouring all your budget into running a smooth and well-oiled operation.

The axiom "if you think safety is expensive, try a crash" is often attributed to EasyJet founder Stelios Haji-Ioannou. And it's true. Beyond the cost of writing off a plane, of financial compensation to survivors and families, of lawyers and PR, of having to update your operation to make sure it never happens again...as O'Leary himself said, all press is good press...short of murder. A heinous, clearly negligent crash, on the other hand, can kill an airline as easily as it can kill people. It has done in the past and that threat will never stop being there. Airlines go out of business all the time for any number of mundane financial reasons. In many cases margins simply do not allow for something like a crash. Crashes have even ended the lives of deeply historic, beloved, well-established nationalized flag carriers, so this particular sword of Damocles could cut Ryanair's control cables just as easily. And they've managed to avoid this fate, with zero passenger fatalities and only one written-off airplane - the 2008 crash of flight 4102, caused by a birdstrike during landing.

And I'll be honest, "miserable and safe but a tenth the price of a train ticket from Boston to New York" (I am unfortunately not exaggerating) is a pretty appealing package to my non-millionaire self.

...so why do their planes look like this? I'm dead serious, it vexes me. I don't know what to make of this. Hey, did you remember I'm an airline livery review blog? Look, I can't help myself. Low-cost carriers as a topic, and how they're viewed, is probably the most interesting facet of the aviation industry to me. I feel like if I had infinite time and resources I might genuinely sit down, hit the databases and archives, run a few studies, and write a book about it - it's fascinating, and low-cost carriers are something that only economists and businesspeople seem to want to talk about. I think it's about time someone approached them through a lens of history and social psychology. There's not really academic value to what I do here, on Runway Runway, my tumblr blog where I call Lufthansa planes ugly, but if something doesn't exist I will create it even if my sample size is 50.

So how about how they're literally viewed - like, what their planes look like? Well, here are some low cost carriers I've reviewed. Notice something? They're bright and eye-catching. They don't take themselves too seriously. They're fun. The original low-cost carrier literally painted big smiles on their bright pink and orange planes.

Okay, yes, they don't all look like this. WestJet and IndiGo, for example, are fairly normal-looking. And there are full-service carriers like TAP Air Portugal (and condor. Absolutely condor.) that I would say have a pretty low-costy look to them. There is nothing wrong with that. Low-cost liveries are frequently colourful and exciting, with much more thought put into distinctiveness and charm instead of a passionless appeal to dignity. Indeed a lot of my most highly esteemed liveries, including all the ones pictured above, are low-cost airlines. GOL, for example, is a snappy, eye-catchy design in bright colours that's clearly not meant to look expensive. The same goes for Breeze Airways. There's even more examples out there I've yet to touch on, like EasyJet; ValuJet; Scoot; Spirit Airlines; Frontier Airlines; PLAY (and the late WOW air); Volotea; airasia, so on - to be dignified or clean is not the goal here. Even the names of low-cost carriers frequently are very hastily stapled together and generic, like EasyJet or Super Air Jet or Wings Air; JetSmart; SkyUp; Smartwings; FastJet; Sky Airline (just one!); MYAirlines; the classic ValuJet; flyadeal; and the legendary jet2.com, making no attempt at all to seem as if they have a legacy to fall back on. And there's even more out-there specimens, like Mango or even Nok Air. Many of them have specific themes, like Batik Air, Tigerair, or Buzz, which isn't something you see on full-service carriers, which brand themselves on national identity and the promise of luxury and good service - which is boring. Low-cost airlines, if they want to succeed, have to do something to make people remember they exist.

This is the fundamental shape taken by the low-cost product, which operates with few laurels to rest on and a mission of getting people to remember their website at any cost. Much like a can of Arizona iced "tea" guaranteed to cost ninety-nine cents, literally cheaper than a bottle of water, the package it comes in makes no attempt to look classy. And I am a heavy tea drinker who considers myself fairly discerning, whose favourite type of tea is gyokuro yamashiro (which is absurdly expensive), but you literally can't beat Arizona! It's potable and it's ninety-nine cents and it sort of resembles tea if you don't think too much about it and Massachusetts summers are surprisingly hot and the can is pretty and colourful. Sure, I'd rather have Ito En, but that costs normal money and Arizona costs 99 cents, and sometimes that's all I really have, and it gets the job done even if my teeth aren't enjoying the experience. A Wizz Air plane is a can of Arizona iced tea. It is ninety-nine cents and potable.

This isn't Arizona, this is a box of Darjeeling from Harrods. Ryanair outfits their fleet in handsome navy blue and gold. Their logo, an outline of a woman with harp-like wings taking flight, is simple yet elegant, and that feels so very wrong. I actually asked in my questionnaire what the colours of the Ryanair livery were, because I had seen people expressing casually that they weren't sure they could recognize so much as a Ryanair logo, and the results aren't worth showing in a chart because they're basically as good as random. I do want to specifically appreciate the person who answered "I don't remember but it must be whatever the cheapest colour of airplane paint is", though.

But the truth is that they have such a rich palette, and I do mean that in the sense of 'wealthy'. A deep royal blue paired with a saturated gold used as a sparing trim, these are the colours of an overstuffed plush armchair, not a budget airline. Aside from the name on the winglets and the giant billboard wordmark there is nothing, and I mean nothing, that is typical for a low-cost airline. This is not garish advertising, this is stately.

The layout itself is what I call "Deltalike". Delta certainly did not invent this style of livery but they are the carrier I associate most with it, likely due to the fact that I live right by one of their hubs. The Deltalike is a white plane with a painted tail unconnected to the main fuselage body, painted winglets, painted engines, and a painted underbelly large enough still be visible when viewed directly from the side. While a 'true' Deltalike uses a consistent palette for the engines, tail, and underbelly, there is significant variation. The detached tail is, in my opinion, the harbinger of the Deltalike, and I call liveries with an incomplete presentation of Deltalike features Deltalites.

This scheme is not as common as the Lufthansa Line variants but it is still very common, with its popularity probably peaking in the 2010s. Some examples of the true Deltalike include Air Canada, 2006 Icelandair, Azul, the old GOL livery, and jetBlue. Some colour-varied Deltalikes are the old Flair livery, the SAS red engine livery, and British Airways. An example Deltalite is the old Croatia Airlines scheme, which has a painted tail and belly and engines that are sort of painted. Sure, the engines are just grey and a bit of the tail extends onto the body, but it's got the colour concentrated in the right place and it has the painted belly, it's a Deltalite. A lot of liveries have painted engines and detached tails but no painted bellies, and I do consider these to be on the far end of the Deltalike spectrum, but they aren't what I mean when I refer to a Deltalike. They're what brown dwarves are to actual stars - related but not really the same.

Ryanair is a true Deltalike, but I would even call it an elevated Deltalike. The gold trim, like the cord adorning the hems a of a thick brocade smoking jacket, has an effortlessly shallow curve as it trims the rich blue underbelly, larger than that of a typical Deltalike and with a very deliberate shape to it which at the rearmost point covers half the fuselage by height but fades away to a sort of goatee at the front. This is not a plane which sat in a puddle of blue but an intentional cloak impeccably positioned, visible not just from the side but from the front. The engines, instead of being plain or just one colour with a website printed on, large and garish, are the same white and blue with yellow trim, the last traces of the setting sun melting into a glassy deep blue ocean below a stark white sky with which it inexplicably coexists. Sure, the detached tail still looks bad, it always does, but you can ignore it at most angles.

From below the dark blue creates that distinct cetacean effect, a certain brightness-inverted countershading effect, similar to what you see on airlines like KLM and other blue-side-up liveries. The underside doesn't have a huge, legible logo, visible even from the ground on final approach. One of the defining features of the low-cost livery, in my mind, is a large, prominent website. It's tacky and a little pointless (I mean, surely they can Google your airline's name if your wordmark is large enough) but it is downright ubiquitous. Even full-service carriers frequently heavily feature their website, but it's nowhere on a Ryanair plane. That's so, so incredibly weird.

Just...think about it. Their entire identity is outrage marketing. They are the xQc of airlines - bigoted, constantly in the news, and obnoxious. And nobody remembers what their livery looks like because it doesn't look obnoxious. This is like if MrBeast's thumbnails were lovingly curated aesthetically pleasing shots of scenery that could pass for screenshots from an actual film. It's not tacky and cheap and it's not generic and cheap, it's elegant and cheap. And of all airlines to look like this...Ryanair? Seriously? Ryanair?

image: Associated Press

The CEO.

The airplanes.

Do you see what I mean? Do you see why I find this deeply strange? This is not a clickbait plane. This plane is downright unclickable. It has never been clicked. I bet if I covered the name up and showed it to people (again, I wish I'd had the time to do this) I could fool people into thinking this is like United. Hell, I've learned from my other survey that the average person clearly knows less about liveries than I, the Joker of liveries, do, and can't identify basically any from memory. I could probably fool at least one or two people into thinking this is Singapore Airlines. I may try this on a few co-workers and then get back to you.

How did we get here? I have no clue. While Ryanair did start out as a charter carrier rather than a low-cost airline, and they always had blue and yellow as their colours, their very early liveries were just white planes with wordmarks.

This livery seems to have appeared very early in the history of low-cost Ryanair. Unfortunately, I can't date it precisely - the only thing I can say is that the earliest photograph I could find in this livery was from 1994. Based on the fact that their planes were photographed in different liveries right up to then, including this very brief TAM-like BAC 1-11 livery, I think 1994 is most likely the point they committed to it.

Oh, Adam Rowden, what a different world you lived in.

Even for 1994 this is a pretty conservative livery. Sure, this was before the real boom of bright and venomous flying billboards, but it's still strange. And Ryanair is no stranger to literal flying billboards in the form of logojets for such companies as Vodafone and Hertz, often sort of hideous ones, though I imagine these days nobody would ever want to associate with them like that.

And they never changed it, except that they did - to the modern, softer curve. This I can pinpoint with much more accuracy. It was changed in mid-2003 as new aircraft were delivered, while the older livery was phased out together with the secondhand airframes which wore it. I do not understand this at all. If any airline were to just make the decision to go full circus tent and be as garish as possible it should be Ryanair, right? Ryanair is a brand incapable of cowardly behavior. But they look far more sober than even the average modern flag carrier livery. I guess they don't think they need an eye-catching livery, but I just don't buy that as a full explanation. Imagine the news they'd make for introducing something truly heinous. I think their genuine best move would just be to put a huge picture of Michael O'Leary's face, blown up massively and poorly aligned with visible JPEG artefacts, all over their fuselages. All of Europe would be furious. So why? Why is this the situation?

So what's the verdict? This may be the hardest decision I've made so far. The options here range widely. I'll lay them out.

If I were rating this based on pure visual appeal, I would give it a B-. I am dead serious - this is a visually pleasing, well-balanced livery, simple yet elegant. The detached tail is my only major complaint. But I think Saudia's planes are quite pretty and I graded them low because I think they fail at representing their airline or having a distinct identity, so this cannot be my sole criterion.

I almost want to give them an F because of just how un-Ryanair they are, like how Copa's livery is literally not the Copa livery, but that feels wrong because that's still the Ryanair livery, it's not just a refusal to design a livery at all.

Do I marry these two into a tepid union destined for either divorce or a dramatic act of arson after a seeming eternity of languishing in mutual dysfunction in Tallahassee? I really don't want to do that, because attempting to balance these factors betrays the fact of their contradiction, the mental strain I've been afflicted with over this simple, pointless choice with zero consequences except maybe one of my followers disagreeing with me, which is fine. Unlike certain individuals I will not call you swear words and say you're an idiot.

The final option is maybe my least favourite of them all, because it's capitulation. It's admitting Ryanair is special, just the most annoying golf-ball-sized hailstone in the blizzard of absurd and comical frustrations which is the airline industry. But I just don't know what to make of this miserable little pest, this plague on the patience and knees of the traveling public.

Z. FUCK YOU IT'S RYANAIR.

It defies categories by being good, but being Ryanair. I hate that. I hate it, I hate their beastly little CEO, and I dislike that their planes are sleek, elegant, and could easily pass for an airline that doesn't instruct stewardesses to kick their passengers' shins as they walk down the aisles. If I am buying a ten-euro plane ticket I do not think the plane should look like this, teleologically speaking. At the end of the day I just have no better way to quantify my feelings.

Prick.

[aching-tummies]

Groan Tube Tummy

Anyone remember those "Groan Tube" toys from the early 2000s?

I woke up to an uncomfortable tummy.

Dinner wasn't very filling last night so I filled up on tea 'cuz I was too lazy to bother to cook up something else for myself. I was also trying out a new blend of tea and it tasted pretty good. Chinese-style tea with just leaves in hot water.

Maybe it's stress because I spent all day yesterday fretting over some documentation stuff I had to submit the next day. I tried submitting it just after midnight and the thing wouldn't let me. I'd been stressing and going over the stuff for well over 8 hours at that point just to make sure I didn't fudge anything. I looked up whether or not other people had the same experience with the thing not submitting and saw quite a few posts online in regards to this specific thing where people said, "Nah--wait 6 hours" followed by others that claimed they waited 8 or 8.5 hours before the site finally took their submissions. So I decided to sleep on it and set an alarm for 6 hours later and every hour after that to remind me to try to submit the things.

6AM, alarm goes off. I sit up to turn the alarm off…and my stomach lets out a strange noise. Hard to describe, but if anyone remembers those toys from the early 2000s called "Groan Tube Noise Makers"? You can look 'em up under that name. I just did. Yeah, my guts let out short bursts of this kind of noise.

It's been almost an hour since I woke up and my stomach has not stopped making these noises. I have my stethoscope tucked just under my navel as I type all of this out and it sounds like someone tipping a Groan Tube every other minute.

The interesting thing is that these noises are actually really uncomfortable. My intestines feel like they're distended and whenever the 'Groan' of a gurgle passes through it's like being pinched in that specific segment of intestine.

The 'Groan' noises are erupting absolutely everywhere in my intestines. Upperleft, lower right, criss-crossing the middle and particularly loud and deep just below my navel.

What I wouldn't give to be sitting in a partner's lap--me stressing over getting these documents submitted, both hands frantically typing away on my laptop…and their hands languidly squeezing and prodding my guts--messing with my belly and getting all of these groans and glorps out of my system. Like...it's not quite painful...but it's really, really uncomfortable and is definitely a sensation I'd classify as a 'tummy ache'.

Honestly, I wonder about the new tea leaves I used last night. The reaction from my tummy this morning really feels like something didn't agree with my intestines. The way my intestines feel bloated up and are grumbling honestly sounds exactly like how all the asks describing sugar-free bloats to be. So I can't help but wonder if maybe those tea leaves had some sugar-free substance on them or something. I mean, they shouldn't. To my knowledge, they really were just tea leaves that had maybe been roasted and dried before being packaged in a vacuum-sealed bag.

Just tried Googling if green tea can cause upset stomachs or stomach aches. I've never had this problem before and I've had plenty of different kinds of green tea before this. Apparently, it's something called 'tannins' and something about proteins binding in the intestines?

So…either I never fill up on green tea ever again in lieu of a filling dinner…or I gotta do this again…for science--to truly confirm whether or not I have 5lbs of literal fetish-fuel in the form of tea leaves. As always, gimme your best responses. Do your worst! My intestines already feel icky and uncomfy--what could you possibly add?

[lividria]

Everything You Need To Know For Metroid Prime 4

I finally have an excuse to use all of my Metroid knowledge for something. Metroid Prime 4 is a BIG deal, but we've waited for it for so long, so people might not know/have forgotten some important information they're gonna need beforehand, so here's a big post detailing basically everything you definitely need to know or may need to know, depending on what happens in the game. I'm of course assuming a familiarity with the series, though, so I don't have to explain what Metroids are or who Samus is, but even if you're still really into it, maybe you missed one or two things I'll hopefully be able to explain.

This is mostly off of memory, and I am very confident in my memory, but I checked a Metroid wiki for multiple points, so hopefully I'm accurate, but if I miss something, get something wrong, or you just have something you want me to add, let me know, since I want this to be comprehensive. Alright, let's do this.

This is LONG, so all the facts (& idle speculation) are under the cut.

One caveat I almost forgot about, I have a confession, I... Haven't played any of the Prime games besides the remaster of the original. I tried to emulate Hunters, but it didn't end well, and I was led astray into believing that ports of Metroid Prime 2 & 3 were going to be ported to the Switch "soon"... Last year, and now I don't have nearly as much time on my computer as I'd like to play them on an emulator. I can only hope they get ported to the next console, or get released with 4, or something. I'd like to think I know about as much as I need to, though.

A "Brief" Summary of the Metroid Prime Series

So far, the entire sub-series has taken place in-between Metroid 1/Zero Mission, and Metroid 2/Samus Returns. It's relatively self-contained, and only acknowledged in the main series once (to my knowledge), meaning you could be a big Metroid fan and still know nothing about Metroid Prime, so just to be sure, here's a summary of the Metroid Prime games we've had so far.

Metroid Prime 1: Samus responds to a distress signal from a Space Pirate research ship, discovering they were performing genetic experiments with a mysterious mutagenic substance. The ship is destroyed by an escaped Parasite Queen, but Ridley, injured after Metroid 1 and enhanced with cybernetics (now dubbed Meta Ridley), escapes to the planet the ship was orbiting, Tallon IV. Samus gives chase, discovering that the planet is also being effected by that same mutagen, named Phazon, that the Space Pirates are experimentig further on the planet, and that the Chozo once thrived here before dying out due to the Phazon's destructive effects. Samus confronts Meta Ridley, who is shot into submission by Chozo technology and launched down a pit, and enters a passage in that temple into a Leviathan, a living asteroid filled with Phazon that spread it onto Tallon IV in the first place. Samus finds a Metroid mutated beyond recognition, the Metroid Prime, and confronts it, eventually destroying it, though it consumes her Phazon Suit upgrade that made her immune to Phazon, and Samus escapes the Leviathan as it explodes, leaving Tallon IV behind. However, it's shown that the Metroid Prime reanimates in the image of Samus. Dark Samus is born.

Metroid Prime Hunters: Though it was released after Prime 2, it chronologically takes the place of a 1.5, so yeah. A mysterious message is sent out from the Alimbic System, claiming that ultimate power can be found in said system. The Galactic Federation dispatches Samus to claim it, who finds that multiple other characters are hunting for it, who I will get into in great detail in a second. However, it was a trick by the malevolent entity Gorea, who was sealed away in the Alimbic System and freed by Samus & her rivals in their search. Gorea is blown up, and everyone leaves.

Metroid Prime 2: a group of Galactic Federation soldiers are lost on the planet Aether. Samus goes to investigate, finding that the arrival of a Leviathan has split it into two alternate dimensions: Aether and Dark Aether, and Dark Aether's inhabitants, the Ing, have almost driven Aether's, the Luminoth, to extinction, and could threaten the galaxy in the future. Dark Samus is here, and has allied itself with the Ing in order to feed on the Phazon on the planet. The Space Pirates are here, too, but are getting destroyed by Dark Samus & the Ing, and those GF soldiers are dead. Samus ends up destroying the entirety of Dark Aether after a climactic showdown with the Emperor Ing & Dark Samus, the Luminoth are saved and presumably repopulate, and Samus leaves. However, Dark Samus reforms in space, and finds it's way on a Space Pirate ship that escaped Aether with a bunch of Phazon.

Metroid Prime 3: Dark Samus has brainwashed the Space Pirates, Ridley included, and together they're throwing Leviathans all over the galaxy, so the Galactic Federation has enlisted Samus and 3 other bounty hunters to help stop them. However, Dark Samus infects all 4 of them with Phazon, resulting in all of them but Samus turning evil, and, as Samus travels across planets to destroy the Leviathans, she is forced to kill off her allies. Eventually, Samus confronts Dark Samus on the living planet Phaaze, the source of all Phazon that wants to infect the entire universe. Dark Samus is defeated, but they fuse with the stolen Aurora Unit 313 (Aurora Units are basically Mother Brains but used by the GF) that was being used by Phaaze for the entire Leviathan campaign. Samus blows it up, the entire planet explodes, Phazon as a whole just kinda... Disappears, and she escapes to go on other missions. However, in a post-credits scene, a ship owned by Sylux, one of the rivals from MP:H, is stalking Samus.

Metroid Prime Federation Force: The Federation has made it's own, clunky armor suits that are much worse than Samus' but better than whatever else they were doing at the time. Space Pirates are doing things, so you go stop them. They have a beam that makes things bigger, and they use it to take over Samus' suit, trap her in Morph Ball mode and make her bigger and make her fight the armor guys, who defeat her and blow up the Master Brain, which is just a lamer Mother Brain and the head of the operation. The Space Pirate bases are destroyed, the day is saved, but it's shown in an unlockable post-credits scene that Sylux stole a Metroid egg from the Federation and hatched it. Uh oh.

Who To Worry About

Characters, wahoo!

Samus: It is unknown if she will return in Metroid Prime 4... No, obviously she's the main character.

Dark Samus/Phazon: I sincerely doubt they're bringing Phazon back, it was shown to have been thoroughly eradicated in Prime 3 and they're clearly open to Prime games not involving Phazon judging from H and FF, so, unless they come up with a damn good explanation as to how Dark Samus is still around, I wouldn't hold my breath.

The Space Pirates: They're shown to be back in the trailers, duh, but note that throughout the entire Prime series, besides for Federation Force, they're shown to be a secondary threat. One of the rivals in Hunters was a Space Pirate, and they were of equal importance as everyone else, too, which is... Not really. They're shown to be with Sylux, who has been built up for years now, and are like... The main part of the trailer, so I'm not saying they aren't going to be important, I'm just saying that something else might crop up we haven't seen yet.

Ridley: Will our beloved purple dragon bastard come back? I'm gonna go with... No. For one, he wasn't in Prime 2, but was in 1 & 3, and bringing him back multiple games in a row would be kinda lame, and Nintendo already seems to be phasing him out if you look at later titles. I doubt they would've made him a 3 phase final boss in the Metroid 2 remake if they had big plans for him elsewhere (But then again, I have no idea if MercurySteam and Retro Studios are on the same page about lore), though he is shown to still have the Meta cybernetics there, so Prime is probably canon to the main series, at least, if it's not just a red herring reference that doesn't mean anything in particular. There's also another thing I'm going to bring up later that's another point against him showing up.

Kraid: I have no reason to believe they'd bring him back, but I just wanna note Meta Kraid was a scrapped Prime 1 boss and he was brought back in Dread for no clear reason, so... Mmmmaybe?

Galactic Federation: You're shown to be at a GF Research Facility in Prime 4, and obviously these guys are important again, especially after their bigger role in Prime 3 & Federation Force. I know they introduced a new captain character in Prime 3, I think his name was Dane? So he might show up. Sylux has a huge grudge against the entire organization, and stole his gear from them, so there's a possibility we'll see the same darker side of them we saw in Fusion and Other M to justify that. Worth noting that Fusion had a translation error where it was supposed to be specified that the bad actors were part of the "old Federation army", or something to that effect, so it isn't the entire Federation that's sketchy, but if they were active in Fusion, the current penultimate game in the timeline, they almost definitely could've been active for whenever Sylux's grudge began. Other M also has dubious canonicity at this point, but still, it shows Nintendo isn't opposed to showing a darker side of the GF.

Federation Force: It seems Prime 4 takes place after FF due to Sylux having Mochtroids, the GF are being directly attacked by Space Pirates in the trailer, the FF have previously taken on a Space Pirate attack on the GF and won, and have even collaborated with Samus in the past. Maybe they'll be the equivalent of Prime 3's bounty hunters, minus the turning bad part. Probably. But FF is also the lowest rated Metroid game in the franchise, so...

Sylux: One of the rivals in Hunters, and as mentioned, shows up in Prime 3 and Federation Force post-credits scenes. He's the blue & green guy in the Prime 4 trailer. All we really know is that he hates the Federation (and by extension Samus), and stole his armor & weapon, the Shock Coil, from them. His species is unknown (People assume he's human but it's unconfirmed), and his homeworld, Cylosis, is also not elaborated on anywhere, giving us no leads. We see some kind of snowy wasteland location in his Hunters intro, but we don't know if that's Cylosis. (Cylosis seems to derived be from the word Cyclosis, which is something like cytoplasm getting circulated throughout cells, so... No idea.) He inexplicably changed ships between Hunters and 3, and is shown with Metroids in FF, but in the Prime 4 trailer has Mochtroids. He is also seemingly allied with the Space Pirates, and is absolutely going to be a big problem. (By the way, I tried to keep these summaries relatively brief, but @ postal-ech has a great post going over each Hunters character in detail if you're interested... hey wait why is that underlined none of the other usernames I've added here got that, is that actually gonna notify the guy? oops, spacing it out just in case because I know they already saw this post lol)

Mochtroids: Yes, I'll elaborate. Weak, failed Metroid clones made by the Space Pirates in Super Metroid, distinguishable by only having one nucleus. Sylux has Mochtroids in the Prime 4 trailer, which is probably why they aren't lashing out at anyone yet. It's unclear how important they'll be, but they haven't shown up anywhere besides Super Metroid, and even then were only in Maridia, so... Neat. Unclear what this means for the Metroids, especially Sylux's in specific. Fun fact, Mochtroids were in Hunters' demo, but not the actual game.

Weavel: A Space Pirate previously encountered by Samus in Metroid 1/Zero Mission, almost killed, and brought back as a cyborg guy, which is how we see him in Hunters. He obviously has a strong hatred towards Samus because of this. If they're bringing Sylux back, another Samus hater from Hunters, and bringing the Space Pirates back, Weavel's faction, I'd wager it's a pretty safe hope to have that Weavel may show up again.

Trace & the Kriken Empire: Trace is another Hunters rival, a representative of the Kriken Empire, described as "space cockroaches" so problematic the FEDERATION AND SPACE PIRATES WOULD TEAM UP TO ERADICATE IF NECESSARY. At a certain age, a Kriken is sent out to claim a planet for the Empire, which is presumably then conquered, though Trace specifically set his sights on the ultimate power from the Alimbic System, which he failed to collect. It's unknown if he was then disgraced, orrr if he claimed a planet after the fact. Maybe one we saw in Hunters? I could see these guys serving a similar role as the Ing in Prime 2, but I have no actual evidence they'll have a major role beyond it just being a logical choice based on what we already have.

Noxus & the Vhozon: Noxus is another Hunters rival, of the Vhozon species, who wanted to secure the ultimate power so that it didn't fall into the hands of evil, as their species places a lot of emphasis on peace and balance. Their homeworld, Vho, is also called out as having subzero temperatures, for whatever that's worth. In case it isn't obvious, I'm just listing off every Hunters rival because at this point it's a coin toss on whether or not they'll bring back more besides Sylux and who it'll be.

Spire & the Diamonts: Spire is another Hunters rival, and the last of the Diamont species, some weird, golem-like things that went extinct at some point. Spire was a good guy, and wanted the ultimate power to figure out what happened to his people. This is like, the fifth extinct/near-extinct race, isn't it? I did the math, there's like 8 now, actually.

Kanden & the Enoema: Final Hunters rival, Kanden is a lab experiment from his species, the Enoema, in an attempt to make essentially an ultimate life form for combat, though Kanden escaped and got a big ego. He wanted the ultimate power just for power's sake. He's essentially the wild card of the crew. He has an electric field around him, whatever that means.

Gorea: The final boss of Hunters, some random creature that just showed up in the Alimbic System to kill the Alimbics before being sealed away. It's shown to be immensely powerful, and we have no idea if there's more. If there is more, though, there could be another Gorea in Metroid Prime 4. But I wouldn't count on it.

What we Knew About Prime 4 Before the Trailer

Side note, most of this is from this Metroid wiki's timeline segment on their Prime 4 page, but it's also mostly after a certain point just people being hired by Retro Studios who may or may not be working on Prime 4, so I'm leaving all that out because it's incredibly unimportant and boring.

Metroid Prime 4's first look video only gave us the logo, but the video depicted the screw attack symbol forming out of space dust in space, the letter 4 appearing in blue flame and then the blue & black original Metroid Prime 4 logo as the Metroid Prime 1 title theme played. I'm too lazy to find the video, but that sounds like Dark Samus reforming at the end of Prime 2, who was also blue & black. Phazon returns?

There's a chance that multiplayer, or unique Morph Ball gimmicks, may show up, as they were brought up in an interviewer with Kensuke Tanabe, the main director of the Prime games, when he was talking about future Prime installments. If they're bringing back at least one rival from Hunters, one of the games with multiplayer, and also gave each rival a Morph Ball equivalent, hm... Hunters released before that interview, by the way.

It was also said in a different interview (I think) that Prime 4 might focus on a single planet again, and a time travel gimmick might be involved. I assume it'd work similarly to the dimension hopping from Prime 2 but I dunno, it was left vague.

BUT, development reset at some point in 2019 after all of this was shown and said, so I have NO CLUE how much of this is still applicable or now a red herring. However, due to the logo change, I will say that logo in specific probably no longer means anything.

The guy behind Hunters in specific mentioned in a 2020 interview that they have a backstory for Sylux written up that has "a lot of threaded storytelling" and thus made using him in future games "a good fit". He specifically called out wanting to talk about what's under his suit, so make of that what you will.

There was a specific job posting for Retro Studios that mentioned writing emotional scenes that will resonate with people, and given that the main trilogy gradually ramped up that kind of thing... I dunno, I don't want to plant ideas in people's heads before I write my big post where I just make shit up based off all of this as a part 2.

There was also a Retro Studios Twitter banner of MP4 concept art showing Samus in some weird blue & black hallway... Hey, wait a minute. We don't know if this concept art predates the development reset, though, but since it's Retro Studios which came on after the development reset, so... May be a coincidence, but I'm calling it out anyways.

THE IMPORTANT PART: Trailer Analysis

Quick side note, huge shoutout to all the people who dissected the trailer on their own pointing out a bunch of individual observations I bring up here all together (Plus my own field work). I won't be able to track down all the posts to credit them all and it'd feel unfair to only link the one or two I can probably find, but still, thanks, guys.

COSMIC YEAR 20X9 Galactic Federation Research Facility

Pause right here, right now. This is IMPORTANT. The research facility is just the setting for the trailer, it doesn't matter too much, but THERE'S A DATE. One of the rarest things in the entire franchise, even rarer than Samus leaving a planet without blowing something up on it. Or just blowing it up in it's entirety. So, what does this tell us? Well, I had to fucking to find a list of every mentioned date, mostly coming from instruction books & the like, so have it all. Get ready for contradictions!

2000: The Galactic Federation forms. One specific thing says it was 2003, but 2000 is neater.

20X5: The Space Pirate attack on a GF research vessel that prompted Samus to go to Zebes in 1/Zero Mission, also in 20X5. Metroid 2/Samus Returns supposedly takes place less than a year afterwards, but it's unclear if this'd overlap into the next year, as we're only given years, not months.

20X6: Federation Force occurs, but somehow takes place several years after Prime 3. It's also mentioned somewhere Prime 1 also takes place years after Zero Mission, so, uh... I dunno. The X in the format when we had 2000 earlier already throws a wrench in just about everything we know about calendars. X in roman numerals means 10, so maybe it's representing a decade? That'd work.

20X7: Super Metroid. This came from a random Japanese ad, so, uh, I dunno. Especially since it's supposed to happen, like, immediately after Metroid 2?

20X9: Metroid Prime 4.

So, look, I don't know if this is accurate anymore, because that's... A lot of dubious sources, but it's all we have. If that is accurate, especially 20X7, that is FUCKING HUGE. This means, among other things, that the Metroids are wiped out, Ridley and Mother Brain are dead for real (unless...), Zebes is destroyed, the X are beginning to propagate again, and this is after Federation Force. Unclear if this is before or after Other M, though, if anybody cares about that game being in the timeline, but it's obvious from Samus' suit in the trailer (We'll get to that) that this is before Fusion & Dread, unless Metroid 6 has her regain her old suit somehow.

Samus flies into a rocky region with her ship from Prime 3 & Federation Force, with slight design alterations, such as Samus popping out the top instead. This... Doesn't make sense, since she had a separate ship for Super... Unless this is actually after Fusion where that ship got destro- Wait, no, she has the purple ship, after. So, that may mean the date inconsistency is actually a red herring. Up to you. For a split second, when Samus is jumping out, you can see these ships in the sky. Are these Space Pirate ships, or GF ships? I don't know, I haven't looked into fucking spaceship lore. Let me know, if you know.

(@codylabs has let me know that this is a type of Space Pirate warship shown in Prime 3, just without that game's version's indications of Phazon fuel, and also clarified that Samus probably owned the Prime 3 ship used here and the Super ship simultaneously, thanks, go read their reblog for more detail on all that and detail on all of Samus' ships in general if you care)

(I'd have used more screenshots, but I'm writing this on an iPad, so it's a lot more annoying when you can just go find what I'm talking about in the trailer. If you're here, you've probably watched it already. I might go back and add more if I edit this later.)

I saw someone say that Samus' suit is slightly different, too, but I... I don't care. I'm here for the notes about story & gameplay, not every little design differences (Same goes for pointing out the new intro jingle & the visor redesign). I know some of you are, so if somebody gives me, like... A comprehensive list of all those little things, I may add it if I'm not lazy, but that's not my point here. (@nathaniel-prime reblogged this pointing a ton of the design changes out, but they had... A lot to say, so just go read all that yourself.)

Whatever's happening here, it's happening big. A massive purple laser blows up a turret shooting into the sky at those ships (probably), there's fire, there's more gunfire in the distance, you get the idea, there's a big fight. There's even a Space Pirate shooting at other Space Pirates. Can enemies get angry at each other due to AI shenanigans, or is that plot relevant? Will that mean anything for Weavel?

In the bottom left, where there'd usually be the beam selection, there's the missile launcher, instead, meaning you're probably going to have different weapons down there instead of just different beams. Maybe the Affinity Weapons of the Hunters rivals? There's 4 slots, one taken up by missiles, so that'd leave... 3 rival weapons. Will that happen? Probably not, but I wouldn't be surprised if Sylux's Shock Coil is added here. Or they do something like Prime 2's Beams that have ammo.

Space Pirate theme remix, new Space Pirate designs, destroyed buildings (Presumably the Research Facility), wounded Space Pirate scan like with Prime 1's Frigate Orpheon (Scan Visor's back), so it's a fight between the Federation and Pirates.

You can see an Energy Tank, those are back, you see the Morph Ball is obviously back, Federation scientists are wheeling something away when Space Pirates break in (may or may not be relevant depending on what they're researching), the Space Pirates launch themselves into the building with capsules... Is it just me, or does some of this building look like the concept art from earlier? (I later rewatched it and no longer see the resemblance.) Also, there's Federation soldiers in armor resembling the Fed armor seen in Other M, so there's that. I wonder how much else they'll take from Other M.

Now for the moment. Cutscene where Samus rolls onto the ground as a wall explodes in a big room perfect for a boss arena, revealing 4 Space Pirates, 2 Mochtroids, and our boy Sylux, who gives Samus a stare. Samus gives a stare back. You could see that the room was mostly empty besides for some random thingies in the corners, so I'd assume this is where the first Sylux boss fight would take place, as that's the perfect reveal cutscene for him.

Then we get the logo, Metroid Prime 4: Beyond. Looks sufficiently space-y, but it also resembles a black hole. Now, if this is after Super, when the Space Pirates are pretty much backed into a corner now that all of their leaders besides fucking Kraid (and maybe Phantoon) are dead (unless Zebes wasn't actually a big deal for them), I could see them doing something drastic, like, I dunno... Building a black hole generator? Or weaponizing one? Wouldn't be the first time black holes are a big plot point in a space-themed Nintendo game, though I don't remember if Bowser made the black hole in Mario Galaxy (Or was it Galaxy 2?), I never played it. If time travel is a gimmick, I could see you having to go back in time and preventing it from being used... Or the black hole is just for a space-y graphic, or it's used as this planet's native race's symbol or something. (Future me here, I'm stupid and didn't think about the whole time travel gimmick here even though I brought it up despite black holes and time travel being discussed together all the time, the black hole could be what's used for time travel to some extent. What if Beyond in the title means beyond the black hole? Or, like, the future?)

After the logo, you see a lush forest environment with bird-like things, green mist, Samus walking out of a PORTAL (The time travel gimmick?), giant trees (one has a big opening to walk into it at it's roots), giant cliffs revealing nothing but clouds, one REALLY BIG TREE. Probably a major landmark. No architecture in sight, too, so maybe it's the past? And the date 2025, for our release window. I saw something in the Metroid Prime 4 info timeline from earlier that was Reggie, former Nintendo of America president, saying (I'm paraphrasing) that Nintendo likes to do extended reveals of the games six to nine months before the game's release. Is this an extended reveal? I personally don't think so, but I may be stupid.

Conclusions

in no particular order, here's the main takeaways. Of course, I could be wrong about all of these, we don't have much to go off of.

Phazon is probably not around anymore.

Space Pirates & Sylux are (two of?) the big bads, and the Galactic Federation is probably important. Space Pirates may be in-fighting?

The game may take place after Super Metroid, which has all sorts of implications.

Time travel & black holes may be relevant.

Out of all of of the other rivals from Metroid Prime: Hunters besides Sylux, Weavel seems the most likely to return, but it's unknown if any others will return at all.

Mochtroids return, whatever that implies.

The beam swapping system seems to be replaced with different weaponry, but the core Prime gameplay seems in tact (Though the state of visors besides the Scan Visor are entirely up in the air).

It may be released in early 2025? Maybe? Probably not.

Hopefully this helps at least one person out there. Again, let me know if I should add or change anything or anything like that. I plan on making a part 2 where I just baselessly speculate about what could happen in the game with all of these crumbs, so if this post pops off, I'll probably do that. (Hey, I did that.)

[mediawhorefics]

i dont know if you've already answered this question before, but what inspired you to write tts? was it a trip to scotland/lighthouse?or the isolation of the pandemic? or something else?

i personally believe both, since you've so beautifully crafted the backdrop of the story, i wonder if one could do that without a visit to the isles? a pandemic retreat to the scottish isles to bring out the best writer in you? and i kow this is assumptious of me since i dont even know where you are from haha.

i also dont really know if i want an answer to that tbh, cause in my head thats how this story was birthed, so if the reality is something different i'll probably ignore it and go believe my version of reality XD

but couldn't stop myself from asking the question regardless. haha.

hiii, that's a great question. i don't know if you actually want the answer, you don't seem too sure yourself dkjfvbjhdf but i'm happy to provide some context ? whether you choose to integrate it into your belief system after that is your decision lmao.

so, i actually wrote/published the story in 2019 before hs2 came out and before the pandemic. so i can't claim that as inspiration for the isolation in the story, though i do find it really interesting that for people who are reading it post-pandemic, it might resonate in completely different ways now.

in terms of the inspiration, it's a little mix of many things? it started as a prompt from an anon in my inbox and substance abuse wasn't necessarily a subject matter i wanted to touch upon, but the idea of a vague coastal b&b as an isolated retreat to heal spoke to me and i wrote a drabble outlining what kind of story i'd write with the prompt and where i would want to set it. i was living in scotland at the time (on a working holiday visa) and while it wasn't on one of those isolated islands in the north, i had done research on fair isle for a different writing project that ended up not happening so when the prompt appeared in my inbox, it was the first place i thought of to set that kind of story.

then people really liked the drabble and it snowballed from there. in many ways, it ended up being my love letter to the place where i was living and to my time there, filled with little easter eggs about my experience there that only i know about. and i think, living by myself in a foreign country at the time and being so so so so so in love with the place where i was living while being so far away from everyone that i knew best, i was really interested thematically in the idea of the differences between loneliness and solitude. and what they mean to me? cos i knew people over there, i had my little found family, but i was alone a lot and not unlike tts!louis, who is based on me in many ways lmao, i fucking loved it. and so, i think that's what sparked the themes of isolation in the story and how it can be a relief sometimes and painful other times and how can we deal with that/articulate that/etc.

so yeah, idk. it is a very personal story. just maybe not quite the way you thought haha.

also, anyone who knows me irl knows that i am obsessed with lighthouses. i have always been. my dream would be to live in a decommissioned lighthouse. so i gave that dream life to tts!louis.

[wirewitchviolet]

A Refresher on the Whos and Hows of Harassment Campaigns

The other day someone said something that reminded me of a particularly good work from a friend of mine, so I said "hey, you might like this," and was met with, roughly, "that does sound good, but ooh, I recommend that name, I don't want to support that person at all." Now, perhaps you'd think I'd be taken aback by this, and curious why the person I was talking to had such a huge problem with my friend, but I knew exactly why.

The friend in question has been the target of a massive life-ruining harassment campaign for something like 15 years, primarily rooted, as these things always seem to be, in DARVO tactics. That's an acronym for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. Or put more plainly, painting the target as an evil monster who needs to be stopped. But there's a difference in knowing that this is ubiquitous for victims of harassment campaigns, and KNOWING how it works.

I don't want to say anything identifying about any of the many friends I know in this situation, so forgive the vague details, but let me walk through the major points of one of the clearest cases I've seen so you can hopefully learn to spot this crap.

Years ago, someone I knew messaged me out of the blue to alert me that A Bad Person had responded to some social media post of mine, which was just a perfectly nice pleasant little response. This was the first sign that this was not, in fact, A Bad Person, but a DARVO victim. The first rule to completely destroying someone's life is really aggressively cutting off any possible support network they might have, and making sure either through personal actions or more often establishing some weird sort of perceived norm that all good people need to be mindful of these things, one way to do that is jump in there anytime the target is being introduced to new people they could maybe become friends with.

Personally, I'm not inclined to avoid people just because someone tells me I should, even if it's someone I know and trust, and I encourage this as a value to others. Being an evidence demanding sort though, I was shortly presented with Some Evidence. This is another general truism with DARVO campaigns. Everyone pursuing them tends to have ready access to Some Evidence in the form of a link to, in most situations, like a 30-100 page long blog post, filled with links, images, and detailed date stamps presenting someone as an evil monster. And here again, my personal and professional experience with this has lead me to the possibly surprising conclusion that when someone shoves a link like this in your face, you can just go right ahead and assume the subject of it is the innocent victim of a hate campaign.

First of all, when someone is ACTUALLY a monster, it takes basically no evidence to prove it. Like, take J.K. Rowling. She's one of the most horrifically evil people on the planet. Hates trans people. Wants to see us all dead. She'd rather not have that as her public image, so she'll loudly object to any accusations along those lines and insist she's all puppies and rainbows, but in spite of that, she can't go more than like 10 minutes without an unhinged rant about how much she hates trans people. Like, she'll do it in written defenses against how she does that. You can glance at her social media pages and see just outright clear cut hate speech, or how she follows an astounding number of out and proud fascists. You can look at any news coverage she's tangentially involved in. Life is not a detective novel or a cheesy thriller where evil people manage to keep it completely hidden from everyone except one brave reporter.

So part of he deal with Some Evidence is relying on the reader being familiar with this sort of big info dump as really important in fiction and subconsciously viewing it through that same lens. The substance of Some Evidence is generally irrelevant. A Bad Person, you see, is guilty of a Crime! Whoever put together this very very very long blog post has clearly gone to a Herculean effort to expose this. They have a detailed timeline, they have all these links and screenshots to forum posts. They've hunted down every single user name A Bad Person may have ever used, and provided documentation to prove it all! Look how many links they have! How many bullet points! Look how passionate they are about the seriousness of this matter, and how terrible a thing this Crime is!

And the weirdly insidious thing about this is it isn't just about spamming you with so much text you aren't going to actually bother reading it. What they're hoping is that you DO read all of it, and in the process of doing so, you get so swept up in the narrative they're presenting that you internalize the fact that whatever Crime they're accusing this person of is exactly as evil and terrible a thing as their breathless recounting is portraying it to be, when in reality, I'm having a damn hard time thinking of any time I've seen one of these where the Crime is... anything really. You'd think if someone was going to accuse someone of a crime they didn't commit and make a big deal over it, they'd pick one of the real big ones like murder or defrauding a charity or terrorist bombings or something, but no. Real serious stuff is way easier to prove didn't happen if anyone cared, so the go-to strategy is to make a mountain out of a molehill so small that skeptical types won't even bother checking if it even happened, but make such a stink about it that the people who get suckered in still treat it as the most serious of things.

Actual examples of the Crimes I've seen in this sort of thing, off the top of my head: Sleeping with several men, just you know, at some point or other. Disliking A Good Person. Having once spoken to A Bad Person, or just being vaguely associated with them in some vague way. Criticizing a work of fiction over how it handled a subject (bad trans rep, colonialist values, weird depiction of another culture, whatever), drawing fan art or writing fan fiction where someone is off-model or not in character or, anything at all romantic or sexy happens, dressing up in a goofy costume, and standing near A Good Person in a photo who clearly wouldn't want to be seen anywhere near A Bad Person (and yes that last one DOES involve more circular logic than usual). Some of the most effective campaigns I've seen have had Crimes that go past not being any sort of offense to anyone from a rational perspective but are outright good things for someone to be doing. Spin is a hell of a drug.

It should also be noted that while Some Evidence generally puts a huge emphasis on noting the exact dates when the Crime and various other data points occurred and how great and terrible an offense this was to The Real Victim In All This, you basically never hear about this from someone who has even the most tenuous connection to The Real Victim In All This, and it tends to be presented as breaking news, even when Some Evidence pretty clearly points out that if the Crime even happened at all, it did so anywhere between 1-20 years ago. I don't know that I've ever seen one of these campaigns even get started over something in recent memory. Picking or inventing something far enough in the past that nobody who was allegedly there is going to have really clear memories one way or the other is ideal for the key point of making it both difficult and a low priority to actually get a first hand account of the Crime from anyone.

Also I really have to stress that this sort of thing doesn't tend to all come down to one crank with a grudge personally pushing the whole hate campaign. The goal is to execute all this in such a way that the overwhelming majority of harassment, isolation, and reputation tarnishing isn't done by whoever set it all into motion, but by well-intentioned rubes who get swept up enough in the narrative not to question any of it. They don't know the first thing about the target here, but they're going to go around saying things like "I had no idea this person was A Bad Person until someone sent me this link. They stopped me from maybe getting involved with someone really scary, so now I'm just paying that forward as much as I can by warning other people."

So hopefully if I'm succeeding here in getting you to think critically about this sort of thing, you're maybe thinking hey, if the random accusations people write these novel-length blog posts about generally boil down to the sort of stupid crap that'd maybe get a person banned from the cool kids' table in high school rather than anything that would actually spurn efforts to completely destroy a person's life, what's the real reason they do this crap? Well, sometimes, it's just going to be some completely irrational thing like deciding someone represents a vague threat to the orchestrator or someone they're weirdly stalking, or good old fashioned bigotry, but I think honestly the number one true motivation for this sort of thing might be that whole bit about isolating victims from any possible support network.

Stripping away support networks is, if I recall, literally the first thing suggested by the abuser's handbook. It's an actual guide, I have a copy of it that was getting shared around to help nazis coordinate back in 2014, but I... don't want to actually double check the ordering of bullet points. It's important though. If you want to end the life of Susie, you need to make sure Susie is completely alone, with nobody to turn to for aid or even just basic emotional support. And so if you notice that Robyn is out there defending Susie from your mass harassment campaign, and every effort you've made to drive a wedge between them or intimidate Robyn out of defending Susie, that means Robyn's gotta go. Time to write a new novel-length blog post, get as much of the world as you can convinced that Robyn is a monster. Hell, it's even worth it to try and convince Susie.

A weird little quirk that results from this is that honestly some of the most horrible, longest lasting attacks of this nature I've seen have been against people who otherwise seem like they'd be impervious to this sort of hate-mobbing, but they make an active point of standing up for trans people. Now like, obviously, I know a truckload of trans people literally driven out of public life by this crap because the average person is just entirely too willing to accept that any given one of us is some sort of evil shapeshifter if given the slightest push, and we'd probably be more prominent examples if we didn't just kinda get disappeared, but yeah if you're cis and it's known in the right circles that you've used your platform to give me a shout-out or treated me to dinner odds are pretty good you're in the top 10 of people I personally know that people have been trying to bring down with total BS for the past decade or so, and you know, we see you, we support you, thanks for fighting that good fight.

If this has all been a bit much to read, here's the short version. Do not ever go around talking crap about someone you don't know just because someone told you they suck. I don't care how much you trust the person you're hearing it from. I don't care if they show you Some Evidence that it'd take you three days to read through. If you can't (or don't want to bother to) look them up directly, on your own, and see them doing evil crap out in public, leave them the hell alone. Don't go spreading rumors. Don't say you've "heard some things." There are no acceptable casualties in this. Be 100% sure or mind your own damn business. ACAB still applies when it's self-appointed community policing. Oh and it should go without saying that obviously this doesn't apply to stuff like a friend telling you they're in an abusive relationship or they've been assaulted or whatever. I'm talking about crap like warning people not to read books or watch reviews or whatever from people you have no personal connection to here.

And of course here's the point where I remind you that I have been out of work for years and have had to change my name and address multiple times to avoid being freaking murdered thanks to the sort of campaigns I'm talking about here, and it would really do a lot to help me continue being alive if anyone felt like maybe heading over to my patreon and throwing some cash my way.

[rouge-fauna]

Some people think that your take on c!Tommy having aspd is dehumanizing and/or stigmatizing aspd because you don't like c!Tommy and therefore are biased and this take is based on hating him or seeing him as pure evil or something. How do you comment on that?

[essay on c!Tommy having ASPD]

Well my initial thought, is - say it to my face or don't say it at all ;P... like I feel like I try to create a safe space to have discussions, like if you disagree with me that's fine, let's talk about it. I'd love to understand why. I wanna know your reasons, I wanna see your evidence, and maybe neither of us change our opinions but maybe we gained some insight or at least understand where the other is coming from more by the end.

Besides that... First I would like to say, I never claimed to be unbiased. In fact I've written multiple essays on the topic of bias and how we all have inherent bias in the dsmp and why that might be. I've even talked about how I am biased and the reasons why that might be. As well as how our inherent bias makes it sometimes hard to have good analysis or discussion.

Secondly, while I do dislike c!Tommy in the same way I also dislike c!Quackity and c!Wilbur, I don't think I have ever reduced them to pure evil or dehumanized them or at least I have not intended to do so. They are very complicated characters, who are people and I hope that while I have talked about them not having empathy, I haven't reduced them to just evil. Especially in regards to Tommy, who I have somehow talked a lot about, I feel like I have covered a lot of other facets of him then just noting him as a sociopath or having ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder). In addition, for Tommy I have used sociopathy to note how his behavior isn't inherently malicious. I don't think he is trying to just go out and hurt people, but instead I think he does things without the consideration for other people because he lacks empathy. (Besides c!Quackity's confessed sadism) I don't think there are really any characters in the dsmp out to just hurt people on purpose, for the sake of hurting them. I think instead, some characters seem to do things for their own benefit and themselves without any thoughts for other people and any remorse for the hurt they cause. This does not make them any less of a person, but also certainly isn't going to pull any sympathy from me if they themselves don't have any...

Anyways, now about ASPD, I may be far from an expert and certainly don't personally struggle with it. However, I did have conversations about it with three different therapists including my grandfather who worked with people who needed someone bilingual, my sister in law who works a lot with couples and people recovering from substance abuse, and my own well accomplished therapist. Also, in addition to doing my own research looking at reputable sources, my best friend has a younger brother with ASPD. So, I have tried to be knowledgable as I can before talking about it, though it is also a highly complicated diagnosis process that is not agreed upon across the board of psychologists, with many having varying opinions on the matter. Not only with there not being a lot of treatment options, but also a struggle of how to diagnose someone as not having empathy if you are not in their head.

ASPD is very complicated, something I think I have tried to highlight. So much so, that from what I have gathered more recently, it has been confused with other diagnosis such as Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Something I actually talked about in my essays about why I think c!dream is autistic [post]. Because for a long time when I was younger, I thought I was a sociopath, but as it turns out I do have empathy it just looks a little different than neurotypical's. And I almost wonder, even though it's not my place or area of knowledge to even say so, if these people coming forward talking about how ASPD and sociopathy can be so dehumanized or stigmatized, if they perhaps might actually have a different diagnosis, because the way I understand it they generally shouldn't care about what other people think of them anyways. And since I came across somebody recently bringing up a diagnosis that isn't even a thing recognized by psychologist [post], I am beginning to wonder how warped the Internet is making our perception of mental illness and diagnosis...

Finally, I would like to also just add, that ASPD is a personality disorder, which as far as I understand it, means it is describing patterns of an individual's thinking and specifically behavior. Therefore it doesn't seem unreasonable or stigmatizing to me to take a character, not a real life person, and the actions that happened in canon and classify them as falling into the pattern of sociopathy/psychopathy/ASPD. Not to say the character then represents ASPD or is what it always looks like, but just that it fits them and helps explain why they did what they did...

[ventiffy]

𝓕𝓪𝓽𝓾𝓲 𝓗𝓪𝓻𝓫𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓪𝓼 𝓟𝓮𝓷-𝓹𝓪𝓵𝓼 ♡

Pov: In the middle of the night you woke up wanting a fresh glass of *drink you find suitable for a late night beverage*, before letting your feet reach the ground you notice the tip of an envelope sticking out from under your pillow,

"Who put it here, how did it get there in the first place?" You wonder.

Warnings: Slight mentions of stalking, characters may be out of character since not much information are given about most of them. I write the harbingers in the same way I hc them to be. (This is almost my first post (aside from my introduction) I also hope to be able to write more of these pov and maybe hcs soon! SLIGHT MODERN AU BUT IT'S STILL IN TEYVAT.

Option one: From Columbina

The letter was found placed neatly under your pillow. The light pink envelope smelled of roses and somehow felt extremely cold. You wondered who could have written this unknown message. Some rosewood colored sealing wax was used to seal the letter. You had a hard time opening it without tearing the paper. Upon figuring what was inside, a folded sheet of paper was presented right in front of your eyes. The writer remained anonymous as they signed their own message with "Your beloved". You had a hard time reading the contents of the sheet of white paper since, it was written in cursive. The one who sent you such message referred to you as "my dove" or "my love".

Content of the letter:

Greetings my love!

I have been meaning to write this letter to you in hope of finally introducing myself. I always see you at *your workplace* and hoped to one day meet you in person but, I guess writing this letter will suffice for now! I hope you're doing well, my dove, although you've never met me, I was wondering how you were doing, you haven't been present these past couple days at your workplace and I've been starting to worry for your health. I hope we'll meet soon in person, but for now you can wait till my next letter.

Goodbye for now, my love.

-From your beloved.

*so uhh you may see this same message for Capitano but I really love her and I wanted to write her letter just so that I don't feel like this post is missing something but I hc to be kind of childish but she can be VERY intimidating. But she hides that scary side of her to her lover.

Option two: From Dotttore

Upon looking at the letter. You notice quickly the coffee stained envelope who strongly smelled of something close to gasoline or of some metallic odor. curiosity got the best of you and you quickly opened the envelope who was just sealed shut with a bit of glue. You find the contents of the letter easy to read even though the handwriting used by the writer was slightly messy and seemed rushed. At first, when you opened the letter, aside from the handwriting, you also found a folded rose who seemed a but destroyed from being stuck in such a tight space for so long. At the bottom of the page you found two drops of what seemed to be from a red substance but, you didn't think of it that much.

Content of the letter:

Good morning my dear. From what I could predict you're possibly reading my letter right after your awakening which surely is during what you consider as your morning. To begin this message, I'd hope to make one point clear. I've been interested in you for quite some time and I could only hope to know your psyche much more personally. I hope that we can meet soon but, to make things fair since I already know much more about you than you could possibly think. I'll give you my brief introduction as to remark this first letter. I'm a doctor from Snezhnaya who studied in Sumeru Academia. My only goal is to accomplish my researches on immortality and creating a new god. I find humans quite interesting for the sake of my experiments and only hope to meet you once more in person. Although you have never seen me, I truly hope that will change soon.

Well then, till next time y/n.

Option three: From Capitano

Upon glaring at the envelope sealed with sealing wax, you were quickly able to open it and inside you found a sheet of paper that was folded although it's ends were facing you. (So yk when you fold a paper there's like the bent side and the ends, yeah for all the harbingers who fold their letters your have to pull out the letter by its bent side but not for Capitano.) The contents of the letter were written in a fine handwriting where all the letters looked the same, as if it was written by a writing machine thing (yk what I mean).

Content of the letter:

To my love,

I have been fascinated by you, yet It seems I am not able to figure how why. I believe I am amazed by you with the reason that we are made for each other. So, why would I need a reason to have such strong adoration for you if we were to be soulmates. I decided to write you this letter after some configuration with some of the people I know, who also told me I should write you a letter first then we could meet face to face. I have spent countless hours figuring out what to say, yet they felt as long as the time I spent on the battlefield. You see, I am one of the Tsaritsa s' loyal harbingers. Even while on duty I only could worry about your safety, if I were to have written this letter sooner, will you still be alive to read it. Before one of use meets our end I wanted you to know of my person and I wanted to know that you acknowledge me, as the writer of this letter. I truly hope fate will allow us to meet but, my time is running out so. Till next time we meet, my dear.

-Your loyal follower.

*To be honest I only wrote for him only because I love him and his character a lot and I knew that I would feel miserable if I didn't write for him. Yeah so I hc him to know the dangers of being a soldier and I also hc to worry a lot about his (soon to be?) lover s' health.

Option four: From Tartaglia

The letter is not sealed with anything, its just a plain white envelope, nothing else. Inside there's a folded sheet of paper when just the ink slightly appearing on the other side of the page is presented to you, yet you don't know why it's there in the first place or it's purpose. hen you finally take out the sheet and flip it around to see it's content, you can only focus on the small doodles of hearts and random shapes along side the text written in a rather fine handwriting.

Content of the letter:

Hey there (buddy/girlie) , I hope you are in perfect health while reading this letter. Lately I've been amazed by your strengths, from just being able any heavy object to having some skill in fighting. I truly hope I could soon make your acquaintance, maybe when the time comes and we meet in person in a proper manner, maybe we'll be able to spar but who knows! Maybe we can meet when the both of us aren't really busy. You look like the perfect fighting comrade for me. you may not have realized it by now but I've been admiring you for some time, each time I see you at that café or park you always go to, I can't help but wonder on how could one be so pretty and strong at the same time. I am writing this letter to you in hopes that maybe you'll be able to difference me form the rest each time we meet. Because, I truly think not once have you shot a glance at me. But well farewell for not comrade.

-yours truly

Option five: From Signora (...No not from ashes..)

When you were looking down upon the white envelope, you could only notice the scent of some perfume, a perfume rich in scent who smelled in an odor you couldn't describe due to how powerful it smelled. Upon opening the envelope, you noticed a black silk bag tossed behind the letter neatly folded and placed inside the black envelope that was decorated with small gems to which some had a heart shaped form. The bag was tied shut by a red silk lace who quickly got unfolded when you pulled at the tip of the wing (?) of its ribbon that was formed by how it's was tied. Inside was a necklace who had a silver chain with a black diamond pendant resembling a cross. You then proceeded to read the letter who had been written with a find cursive handwriting, although you were able to read since the letters barely seemed to even had been written in cursive, it was like the writer didn't even raise their pen while writing but yet wrote normally.

Content of the letter:

My dear y/n,

These past couple of days or maybe weeks, I have felt as if I have fallen in love with you. I love the way you dress with that *fashionable piece of clothing you have*. But, from what I saw each time I meet your presence is that you never seem to where a necklace. So, I figured that it would be nice for me to give you one. I figured that I didn't know which one you'd simply like so I decided to give you one of my own. To make this letter short, my only point is that I truly wish to know you soon enough, I already know your age, name, birthday, and your address but I don't seem to quite get you sense of fashion, maybe when we meet in person we could go to any sorts of store and possibly go shopping for new clothes for you.

*The letter ends with the writer signing their name as "Rosalyn" although you find it weird, you've never met a Rosalyn before. The letter has a heart after the writer s' name and the first mention of your name. (So basically after the "dear y/n".)

Option six: From Scara- (wait who?)

The letter didn't have an envelope (I hc him to not really use envelope for this stuff idk why) the letter was yet in perfect conditions even though it was tossed under your pillow. The handwriting was clear, not messy or not to formal (cursive ,I guess). The letter had few doodles representing stars (hah get it? "the stars, the sky, it's all a gigantic hoax.")

Content of the letter:

Lately, I've been seeing you around, maybe by just simply making your way to your workplace (Author note: or school if you'd like). Each time I see you you're possibly just listening to music or anything like that. I was able to see your playlist on *app used by you for music* (exemple: spotifiy, youtube etc.). Although your style is not my favourite I still listen to it, in hopes of getting closer to you in a way. I hope we meet again. I barely know you and you don't even know me but, I just can't help to find you so pretty. Till then y/n..

-Secret admirer.

(Kinda took inspo from the fact all anemo boys are associated with music of some sort so yeahh- but for this pov scara is not wanderer yet..)

Option seven: From Sandrone

*Author note: I hc sandrone to be really creative so yeah..)

The letter was found in an envelope that smelled of gasoline, It wasn't sealed at all. Upon opening it you can still smell the ink from the pen or machine used to write this letter. All the letters looked like the ones of a keyboard so you guessed the sender used a writing machine or printer to write their message. although, the text was shaped in a heart form, and the sides of the text you found many heart shaped doodles. (Yeah for the content of the letter I'm not doing the heart thing, so I guess you could imagine it to be like that. But if you don't know what I mean by heart form, imagine a heart, fill it with words where you have to read from left to right yeah. uhh idk how to explain it, I'm trying to make her different I guess.

Content of the letter:

As I'm writing this, I can still feel my oblivion to what to say. I have tossed some many tries and fails upon writing this letter to the point this feels like as if I'm writing down about all my failures and not about my love to you. I heard about you from two friends of mine which one of them visits your workplace quite often to which another stays in the shadows and observes you. They aren't the type to easily be fascinated by others, strangers even. So, when you came in as a subject in our conversations, I could only feel my curiosity wanting to know more. So yesterday I went to see who you truly were. The second I saw your beauty I started to relate to all the compliments my friends were giving you. You were perfect, if there was a word to describe something or someone who is more than perfect, that'd be you. All of the compliments describing how you were so ethereal that I had the chance of hearing, I figured that they were true. Upon hearing all the information that my co-workers got about you, I quickly figured where you lived, so I now decided to write you this in hope of somehow finally getting to know each other. Knowing that you're possibly reading this right now feels like a fortune to me. Being able to create something that will soon be in your hands feels like something that I don't deserve somehow. but I truly hope to be able to see you once more, if not a thousand more.

-Your soon to be lover ♡

*btw her friends are Arlecchino and Columbina. And I hc her to fall in love with people she admires for being perfect.

Option eight: From Arlecchino

The letter was not placed in an envelope, although it was a bit ruined due to maybe how it was placed underneath your pillow, maybe you moving as you were sleeping kind of ruined it. As you took the letter who was almost at the tip of the top of your bed about to fall off. You noticed all the bunny doodles around the writing. The text was written in a small handwriting and the distance between words was quite spacious.

Content of the letter:

Hello, my bunny.

You may know me after I introduce myself but, I think I have fallen in love with you. If you can't recall me, I an the customer you always serve at *name of cafe*. It always pleasures me to see you, whether your making my drink or doing basic chores. I'm the one who always leaves you a tip before leaving. You know, the one with with and a bit of black hair. These past days I didn't go to see you since I was busy with work and I was also thinking about what to write for this letter. To make my point, I don't want you to see me as a customer, I want you to seem et he same way I do. As a lover. i truly hope you understand. I can't figure what to say now but,

I love you.

-Arlecchino

*I know a lot of people will be mad after reading this, IF I didn't add her. Tbh I hc her to be really soft around her lover and not always being rude. I thought about how people describe her as a "wolf in sheep s' clothing" and though what if she were to call her lover petnames because people refer to her as a "wolf..".

Option nine: From Pantalone

At first glance, when you saw the letter it seemed as if it wasn't supposed to be there. The sheet used for the envelope was rather fine somehow and the sealing wax used to shut the envelope seemed expensive somehow. It's red color with a crown type of symbol at the top stuck out to you the most. Not trying to rip it, you successfully opened it. Behind a sheet of letter which you an only think could be the letter that the envelope came with was neatly placed about thousands dollars worth of money bills. You wondered if this letter was truly for you and if you should truly be the one holding such value of cash. Maybe it was normal for the sender to have someone break in and give the receiver this delivery. If you were right, did the sender perhaps send their message to the wrong person? After contemplating for a long time, you opened the letter just to see it's content in hopes of not seeing any form of evidence for criminal activity.

Content of the letter:

To my dear darling,

I have took an interest in you a long time ago and now decided to write this letter to you with hope that you'll acknowledge my adoration for you. Although from your situation I have found myself worrying for your sake and so I decided to give you not even a fraction of what I have. I wanted to inform you of my being in hopes that maybe one day when we meet you wouldn't treat me the same way you treat a stranger. And that maybe you will feel the same way for me as I do for you. I hope the money I sent you will suffice for now and maybe try not to be too surprise when my next letter comes as maybe we can write the each other and then as time goes on I could deliver you all that you need knowing you will be there for me when time comes.

Goodbye for now, my dear.

*The writer seemed to have forgotten to write and introduction or sign their name at the bottom of the page. Yet, you were still fascinated by how pretty their cursive handwriting way.*

I REALLY DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE REST OF THE HARBINGERS SO UHHH, yeah if you want me to do Pierro and the Rooster then I guess I could do a part 2? But if I do so I'll also add the Tsaritsa I guess.

Please send me your requests: If you didn't read the rules yet please make sure to do so! Thank you!!

[hazelnut-u-out]

I'm overthinking wayyy too much and making myself anxious over fictional characters, so I'm going to use this post as a theorizing vent:

So, obviously, s5 and s6 have fleshed out basically every avenue of lore you could hope for from "Rick and Morty." We know what happened to Rick's original Beth and Diane. We know about the creation of the citadel. We know about Prime being Morty's original Rick. We know why Rick came to the s1 cronenberged dimension in the first place.

There's just one thing that hasn't clicked yet...

How did Rick know Morty as a baby, and why?

(Assuming that the Morty baby we see him interact with in canon is our Morty.)

I thought that maybe Rick just popped in from time to time to the s1 dimension to see if Prime had returned, and maybe he just ran into Morty there while he was being left to his own devices, but now?

Well... Now i'm not so sure...

Mr. Twist insisted that Morty was a plot twist, saying that he was the 6th member of "The Self-Referential 6" that defines the nature of reality.

In hindsight, Rick was a little too eager to dismiss that as something Morty should think about, don't you think?

Now, there are a couple of possibilities we could take from this:

1.) There's just a general plot twist involving Morty coming up. This could be related to factors already discussed in canon because there are a lot of avenues open for something like this. (The memories from "Close Rick-counters of the Rick Kind" and the photo on BP's wall from "Get Schwifty"; the fact that Prime is Morty's original grandpa; Marta and the effects of "Rick: a Mort Well-lived.")

2.) (The inarguably more interesting and terrifying option) Rick is involved in a plan over a decade deep that involves the existence of this particular Morty somehow, and it's about to be really fucking important.

Not only do the memories and photos line up with this, but one particular line is leaving me with a funny feeling after thinking about it with this theory in context...

Oh shit...

At first, I thought it could be a moment of the writers saying, "Hey! Rick cares about Morty and he wants you to know that as a viewer!"

But thinking about it in this context?? It's a bit chilling. Are they hinting at something bigger to the viewer here?

To follow up a moment like this with something like Mr. Twist’s comment makes me think.

(You could also take into account that Rick seemed VERYYY interested in getting Morty out of this situation. I'd like to think that that's due to character progression and his learning to be a grandpa here, but I'm going to mention it for the sake of this theory.

Specifically, "Morty! Take this and get out of here!")

Morty is also the only one who can see or hear the ghost of Joseph Campbell after his death.

Not Rick. Not Story Lord. Morty.

Why??? What ability or link does he have to this plane that means he can see and hear Joseph Campbell?

Another detail that could be used as a nod to this theory is Rick's established relationship with Brett Caan. (Obviously, it was a play on his ability to have him say that Rick had always trusted him, but now that he's said it... Doesn't that mean that Rick and Brett have "always been friends"? That gets confirmed and supported by Rick, as well.) Could this have something to do with Rick’s knowledge about this specific Morty?

Overall, this could be nothing, and it could be something. It's just interesting and I'm having lots of thoughts.

I mean, we can trust that Morty isn't bait at this point, but... What can't they tell us about him?

Maybe the reason we haven't seen much Morty substance in this season isn't just because of neglect/disinterest on behalf of the writers, but because something bigger is at play that they don't want us to expect...

(gif from @thesoftboiledegg and only started thinking of this because @twocorvids mentioned the comment from Mr. Twist having some possible substance.)