#maybe I'm just old and crotchety

[incarnadinedreams]

I've always found the 'MXTX says this is how you should think about morality' arguments to not resonate at all with me because like... Well first of all, that's not how I interpreted any of her comments that I've read (in translation) anyway. But I haven't obsessively tracked down every comment and interview and catalogued them either.

But also. Not to sound overly dismissive but at the end of the day MXTX is just some random lady that wrote a very entertaining book on Chinese Wattpad. It's a book that I enjoyed very much (obviously, considering... waves hands vaguely around), and that doesn't mean there aren't thought-provoking themes and angles to it. There's plenty to dig into, if you're interested in analyzing and thinking about them.

But I simply Do Not Care about her opinions on reader's morality more than any other internet rando or random book author. I don't go full 'death of the author', in that I do consider authorial intent in many ways, but I also feel no obligation to agree with the author's intent even when it is clear what their intent is.

Sometimes opinions conveniently align by coincidence but I simply don't have to agree with anything to enjoy a cute murder mystery/torture-revenge-war-crimes-and-soup-eating themed BL webnovel and it's more fun this way.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

the pandemic really made me fully realize what i basically already knew about myself, i.e. i really like to stay home and kinda just be a bit of a quiet solitary little creature puttering about doing my own thing. and now that the pandemic is “over” i feel the societal pressure to ~get back to normal~, which means spending most of your time in public places with many other people, but i find i still want to choose a life of quiet puttering.

[queers4years]

these days pop is made in the tiktok mines

fireflies by owl city. closest we've come to world peace

[redscarfconnoisseur]

I feel like FF14 having more modern outfits and a fucking fall guys event is leading to it losing its identity. You've got this fantasy game with warriors, knights, spellcasters and steampunk engineers but also a cat girl is standing in the corner wearing a modern-ass hoodie with booty shorts and a snapback cap wearing a pair of Converse and she's called something like Yuki Princess. It just makes me think back to the Diadem item descriptions and how almost every single one of them was a piss take, it just kinda takes you out of the world and makes it feel less special. Once a game gets to the point where it no longer respects its setting and themes it's never good.

[wildsummerrose]

Remember when the year in retrospective stuff started coming out in the last week of the year?

[vaguely-concerned]

UNHINGED DISTANT VOICES THOUGHTS (or: now we don't have time to unpack all of that julian but --)

this ep has such a banger concept (several banger concepts that should have had an ep all to themselves, really), even if its overall implementation is pretty mid. the idea that julian seems to readily believe that the most central voices inside him are aggression, fear/suspicion, doubt, confidence/sense of adventure, professionalism... and garak, being surprisingly, seductively good at tennis and taking care of him :}

in a doylist perspective I don't think this is well-crafted enough to read into it too deeply before it starts to fall gently apart, but through a watsonian lens and my fannish heart this is fucking fascinating fdsjka. where. where are all the positive feelings and sides of you that aren't about bickering with garak julian. are you okay julian. I like that since the augment storyline hadn't been conceived of yet at this point, you could look back and justify Julian's surge of confidence at the end as him realizing the lethean hasn't been able to get that deep in his mind to find what that whole mess must look like in his brain. 'you don't understand me half as well as you think you do' gains such depth, basically accidentally

'I'm a part of you, remember? I know what you know. Well... maybe a little more.'

'Still the man of mystery?'

'Oh, you wouldn't have me any other way.'

what. the FUCK fhdskjha. what's more gay, the lethean having picked through bashir's brains for this characterization of garak and their relationship (that Bashir easily buys and depends on through the ep), or him seeing half a minute max of julian and garak having lunch and uh. drawing his own conclusions, apparently. wild stuff)

Isn't this also the first time we see Julian actually play tennis with someone? All the other times it's been racquetball, right? Well well. Interesting. is all I'll say.

avery brooks does SUCH a good job changing his voice in this to match julian's doctor voice, I almost jumped in surprise when he was talking b/c that certainly isn't sisko's voice coming out of sisko's mouth

garak alternatingly going 'now -- what do you want me to do?' in a very... willing directable sort of way and telling julian that he's a good boy doing good and being so supportive and attentive and that's how the lethean tries to keep julian's shields down the longest. many thoughts. few of them PG.

JULIAN'S REASONING THAT THIS REALLY ISN'T GARAK -- NOT EVEN HIS MIND'S VERSION OF GARAK -- IS THAT THIS GARAK ISN'T COMPETENT ENOUGH FSDKJFHKSDJ. and he sounds so petulant about it too. 'the real garak would have this fixed for me a long time ago if I just batted my eyelashes and told him I thought cylon pareg's body of work was very interesting and layered :'( I miss him'

jazdia julian BROtp got me crying in quark's tonight, this was such a good direction to take that relationship. I know they kind of fuck it up again in s7 but y'know I'll take the good stuff while it's here haha

julian makes for such an amazing crotchety old man im love him

julian has a near-lethal stress dream about turning 30 and being bisexual. it's weird but very entertaining, and garak is there

[whositmcwhatsit]

I am feeling grumpy and crotchety today and I'm going to contradict myself massively in some twisty turny logic.

Don't listen to anyone (except me, this one time when I say this).

Obviously you don't need to listen to anyone who posts their vitriolic or even overly adoring opinions.

But also don't get swept up by posts that pretend they are educating you with *facts* but provide few sources with attributions.

There are thousands of books written about Elvis. I own and have read a decent chunk of them over my decades of obsession, and I know how many contradict each other, some are riddled with inaccuracies, and all are trying to present a very conscious narrative. All I know is that I know nothing.

It doesn't matter if some grizzled old guy corners you at a convention and tells you that you are wrong about which song is your favourite (ah, the good old days), or a slightly less grizzled woman like me tells you that some so-called Elvis insiders are less trustworthy than others, or newer post-Austin movie fans tell you they're giving you the facts from all their research.

The experience of being a fan is the joy of discovery, finding things out for yourself, watching those shows for the first time, reading those books and forming your own opinions, listening to a new song and having some euphoric physiological reaction.

It's not to be whacked over the head by someone telling you you're an idiot for not having read a book, it's not to be made to feel small, and it's not to hastily form opinions based on what someone else claims.

Just enjoy the journey, find your own joy, make up your own mind, and don't listen to anyone else.

Except maybe me, just this once.

[haihaihaitani]

Cheers to the Jukebox Queen! ~ *Ran Haitani*

Summary: You love the little dive bar you found after work one day. You're always spending time with the regulars and enjoying the atmosphere. That is, until it's disrupted by a stranger...

Pairing: Ran Haitani X Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluffyish Oneshot

Word Count: 2224

Warning: Alcohol consumption, swearing

Masterlist

It was your favorite place to go when you needed to get away and relax. The little hole-in-the-wall dive bar had everything you needed: excellent drinks, good food, charming regulars, and a chill vibe. It was everything you needed after a stressful day at work.

Especially on a day like today.

It was pouring, soaking anyone who went outside to the bone, even if you had an umbrella. You also just put in two hours of overtime at your job and were exhausted. That's why as you were leaving the office, you could hear the sound of a cool drink and some old music calling your name from across town. You braved the storm to get to your favorite dive bar and order your favorite drink to make you feel better.

"Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" The crotchety old bartender chuckled as he saw you. "The usual?"

"Double it. I need something strong tonight." You sighed, slouching against the bar.

"Another long day?"

You nod, shaking your wet hair. "Always. They work you to the bone for pennies, I'm telling you."

"That's why I keep asking you to quit that dead-end, early-grave job and come work for me. Sure, you'll still be making pennies, but you won't be worked to the bone. And everyone here likes you." He explained, as he passed you your drink.

You glanced back at him and shook your head. You took a sip of your drink, enjoying the subtle sting of alcohol in the back of your throat. "Nah, I still need to pay my dues. The contract expires in three years. Then maybe, maybe I'll consider quitting my day job to come work for you."

He chuckled. "That's all I'm asking; just some consideration. And quit swinging your hair around like a wet dog! You're getting my clean bar all dirty!"

"When has this bar ever been clean?"

He threw an ice cube at you, which you expertly dodged. A laugh spilled past your lips and you took another sip of your drink. The night settled after that. You chatted with some of the regulars, talking about their day and their latest gripe of the night. All of them commiserate over your struggles at work and how you never seemed to have time for yourself. Despite all of the crap the day threw at you, you could always count on your evenings and nights to be much sweeter. This is what made working like a dog all worth it; being able to spend some good quality time with people you actually liked.

"You know, you really ought to stop hanging out with us old timers so much." One of the regulars sighed and downed the dregs of his beer.

The woman next to him nodded. "You need to go to one of those swanky clubs and grind up against someone to take home."

You grimaced at the thought. "Clubbing isn't my style. I like it here! It's super chill and everyone is so nice! Why would I give that up?"

"A pretty young thing like yourself needs to find herself some hunky arm candy." The woman laughed.

You laughed and shook your head. "The dating scene isn't for me. All the guys are whiney babies who want a mother, not a significant other."

The man grunts in response. "You got that right. You kids don't want to work for a relationship anymore."

The woman scoffed and playfully shoved him. "Like you put any work with me when we were dating!"

"And yet you still married me!"

As the rest of the bar laughed, the door opened with a bang. You jumped, spilling a little of your drink on the bar counter. There, soaked to the skin, was a man dressed in purple to match his hair. He was tall, lithe, and carried himself with such authority it looked as if he was disgusted the rain even dared to fall on him. But what struck you about him was the tattoo prominently displayed on his throat. 

Bonten. He was trouble.

Everyone seemed to sober up in that exact second. No one looked at him, finding other things far more interesting to occupy themselves. It wasn't until the bartender cleared his throat hesitantly that he was actually acknowledged.

"What can I do for you?"

"I need to borrow your phone. Mine died."

His voice was smooth and cold. It sent a shiver down your spine. You looked down at your drink as he took the phone from the bartender, leaning against the bar next to you. Though you tried really hard not to, you couldn't help but listen to his conversation.

"The car's dead. No, I didn't wreck it. Probably the battery. Just get someone down here to fix it. I'm not staying here all night. Be here in an hour or I'll tell the boss you kept me waiting."

Your heart stuttered in your chest. You didn't know who his boss was but you really hoped you wouldn't find out. A part of you wished he never walked into this bar and killed the whole vibe.

"Do you have a bathroom?" He asked the bartender, who pointed to the back.

As he left, you let out a shaky breath. The regular who was talking to you earlier shook his head. "That was terrifying."

"Shh! He could hear you!" His wife smacked his shoulder.

"Why is a Bonten executive hanging around this part of town?" The bartender mumbled under his breath, wringing his hands.

"You know him?" You ask and he winced at your words.

"Before I moved the bar here, I had a run in with their boss. He's terrifying to put it mildly, worse than that one. He let me off with my life but took everything else from me. I'm lucky to have escaped and I vowed I would never get tangled up with them again. Now they're back and I don't think I can go through all of that a second time."

The bar fell silent once more, heavy with the weight of the bartender's words. It made your stomach roll. But you weren't going to let some gang executive ruin your night. You couldn't. This place was your sanctuary. You couldn't let anyone take that from you.

Looking for a distraction, you found the perfect thing. Grabbing a quarter from your wallet, you walked over to the jukebox and punched in the correct code. Instantly, the bar was jamming to one of their favorite classic rock songs. The heavy mood lifted and you found yourself smiling once more. It was good to have the night back on track.

Everyone was too lost in their good mood to even notice the Bonten executive return from the bathroom, in a new, dry suit. You were bopping along to the music, watching some of the regulars dance in between tables, trying not to spill their drinks too much.

"What's all this?" His voice coming from behind you made you jump again. 

"Ah..." You replied, your words getting stuck in your throat. "Sometimes, we like to turn on the jukebox for some dancing. It's a normal occurrence here."

He nodded. "I'm assuming it only plays songs from back in the day."

You give a small shrug. "Yeah, but it's nice. Reminds a lot of these people of the good old days."

If you weren't paying attention, you would've missed how his eyes widened a fraction. "The good old days..."

The wistfulness in his voice that you were sure wasn't supposed to be there made your heart skip a beat. Despite your better judgment, you drank the last of your drink and held out your hand to him. "What do you say?"

He stared at you. "What? Are you asking me to dance?"

"Why not? You're waiting for your ride, right? Why not wait with some dancing?"

He continued to stare at you for a moment longer before taking your hand. His grip was strong and his skin was smooth, save for some callouses you were sure came from handling weapons. Still, you didn't want to think about that right now. You were trying to lighten the mood and you would not be frightened by this mysterious, yet powerful man whose hand you were now holding.

He was stiff at first on the dance floor, as if he had never danced to this kind of music before. You weren't surprised. He seemed like the kind of guy who would frequent the swanky clubs the regulars were teasing you about earlier. Still, with a bright smile and some good moves of your own, you got him to loosen up on you. He even flashed you a small smile which made yours grow.

"You're pretty light on your feet." You tell him over the music.

He shook his head with a smirk. "You're not so bad yourself. What's your name."

When you tell him, you nudge him playfully. "Are you going to tell me yours?"

"Just call me Ran."

You didn't need him to tell you his last name, because you already knew it. Anyone who's anyone knew the only Ran in Bonten was Ran Haitani. He was powerful and dangerous, and you were currently dancing with him in a dive bar. What a small world this was after all.

As the song started to come to an end, you grabbed another quarter to change the song. Before you could punch in the code, Ran punched one in for you. You raised your eyebrow at his choice and he rolled his eyes in response.

"I like this song." Was all he said before he pulled you into your next dance. 

A laugh escaped you as he twirled you around the floor. You felt weightless and dizzy, but in the best way possible. You could tell why he liked the song. It was peppy and had a good rhythm, something easy to dance to. You couldn't help but enjoy this time immensely, even as the song drew to a close.

You paused to catch your breath and take a sip of your drink. Ran ordered a whiskey and drank it slowly, his eyes on you the whole time. If he was any other person and this was any other time, you would have taken him home with those bedroom eyes. But you valued your life more than your pleasure. So instead you just winked at him and went back to the jukebox. You had one quarter left. You had to make it a good one.

After going over the choices a couple of times, you finally made your selection. It wasn't fast-paced or even all that happy. It was a song about reminiscing over your past and finding solace that the best is yet to come. It was slow, easy, and a good way to end the night.

Ran tapped your shoulder. "One more?"

You couldn't deny him. If you weren't going to take him home, you could at least dance with him one more time. As he pulled you close, you could feel your heart leap into your throat. It was intimate but not sexual. It was almost... romantic.

"How come I've never seen you at the clubs?" He asked quietly in your ear. "You have the moves for it."

You chuckled and shook your head. "Not my scene. But I'm assuming they're yours. You seem like a club guy. Ah, I don't mean to offend you or anything-"

He shook his head. "Not at all. Actually, I own a couple of clubs in Roppongi."

"Is that so? You must be loaded then. I hear the club scene over there is to die for."

"Thanks to my brother and me." He smirked and spun you, making your head go fuzzy. "Perhaps you should try it sometime. I can turn one of my clubs into a dive bar for a night, just for you."

The way he whispered that last part in your ear made you shiver. But you smiled nonetheless. "I might just have to take you up on that."

As the final song of the night came to a close, the two of you stared at each other in the eyes. There was something in him, something that was asking if he could kiss you. You wanted to give in. You were even leaning towards him-

The door to the bar opened. Everyone turned to look. It was a different man with a Bonten tattoo. Upon making eye contact with Ran, he nodded. Apparently, his ride was here.

Ran sighed. "Right on time. And I was so looking forward to cracking some skulls."

You bit your lip and hid it behind your hand. You knew he wasn't joking but you were tipsy. It was a little funny the way he said it so stoically.

He turned to look at you and pulled out a business card. "Call me, if you ever want to partake in my proposal."

You gently took the card from him and watched him slip away. Your heart was beating too fast and your head was clouded. Still, you couldn't stop thinking about the charming Bonten executive you danced your night away with.

It was then that the regular woman yelled out to you, "See? I told you! All you needed was some hunky arm candy!"

[twola]

#212 “We could run away.” 😭😭😭

Already Gone

Arthur Morgan x F!Reader 

➵ Fic Masterlist ➵ AO3 Link

“Y’lookin at me like I'm already gone.”

Tears cloud over your vision as he sits on his cot in front of you, a shell of the man he used to be. His eyes are sunken, bloodshot. He’s grown out his beard to hide the gauntness of his cheeks.

You cannot help the escape of those tears down your cheeks, hiccuping a sob as you stare at the ground. He reaches over and takes your hand in his, pulling you closer to him, gently, slowly, like he was trying to calm a skittish horse.

“C’mere, darlin’.” He guides to sit upon his thigh, winding one arm behind your back as the other one clamps affectionally on your thigh, “There we go… ain't nothin’ to be cryin’ about.”

You frown and lean your forehead against his, a fresh outpouring of tears cascading down your cheeks, as your breathing hastens against his express wishes.

“You’re too pretty to be cryin’ like this.” Arthur swipes his thumb across the your cheek to stem the flow of tears, but you swat his hand away before steeling your nerves and leaning in to take his lips.

Arthur frowns, pulling your hips back to prevent you from kissing him.

“You know we can't.” He quietly pleads, his voice pained.

“Its like you're h-half gone already.” You whisper, hiccuping halfway through the sentence, angry and sad and drowning in reality at the same time.

“I’m right here, darlin’.”

“Let’s go - just, let’s leave-”

He frowns. You press onward, desperately.

“We - we could run away. Let me take you out west where it's dry and -”

“You know we can't do that, sweetheart.” Arthur cuts you off quietly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear affectionately.

The dimple in your chin forms again as your lip quivers, a long breath let out of your nose as he smiles sadly at you.

He draws you in, one hand on the back of your head, shushing you gently as your voice cracks into another sob.

“You’re gonna go on and keep livin’, sweet girl.”

“Not without y-you-”

“Without me. Yer gonna grow into a crotchety old woman and join me years from now.” You can feel his smile against your cheek, and as much as you try not to, you cannot help but laugh at the comment.

“I love you. How am I ever gonna go on without you?”

“You’re a strong girl. Smart. Much smarter than a ol’ dolt like me. You’ll be fine.” Arthur gently rocks you back and forth on his knee, comforting even now as he and you know his time is growing short.

You bury your face into his neck.

This wasn’t supposed to be happening. You were supposed to be doing jobs. Maybe breaking out on your own. Riding across the country. Maybe settling down somewhere hidden when this life finally paid out.

But now…

Your tears fall on the warm skin of his neck, and he gathers you into his embrace, murmuring sweet nothings in your ear, trying to comfort you.

You know you shouldn’t waste this time.

It’s all you have left.

[plaguenevermore]

So, there's, not an easier way to really, come out and say what, exactly has happened in my personal life, I haven't made a serious post like this in a, very, very, very long time but, uh

On October 26th, at, exactly 9:20 am, my dad passed away due to his congestive heart conditions, and AFIB, which is a type of heart arrhythmia or abnormal heartbeat. Due to this, fluids, and blood weren't cycling through his body correctly and it caused severe issues to occur such as his kidneys to fail in what was, literally hours, to the point where doctors attempted dialysis on him quite exactly the moment I left the hospital when I visited him, however, it, didn't do anything and, he basically crashed in a day's time after being in and out of the hospital multiple times around the sum total of 25 days, more than, I think.

Now, I'm, clearly not doing the greatest after all of this, of course, I loved my dad, dearly. He was a kind, accepting, wonderful man who had his of course, crotchety old man moments, he was 72 when he passed, yet that never diminished any of the love in his heart that he had for me, and my mom, and just, everyone he ever met.

But I'm gonna ask YOU ALL for, help, and I know given the current situations cycling throughout the world, that I am, nothing but a, droplet within this sea of, completely deserving people begging for help due to the genocide, people going through their OWN problems, and I can understand that seeing the word, fundraiser, or, GoFundMe, can be a bit taxing, and jarring nowadays, however, yes, that's what this entire thing is.

My mom began a GoFundMe to help myself, and her, out after my dad's passing, and if you can donate that would be, WONDERFUL, I'm never, ever, gonna force anyone to just, shovel money into my direction, but it would be greatly appreciated if you have us in your thoughts and, maybe just, toss something in our direction.

Thank you for taking your time out of your day to, skim over this, I know I talk a lot and don't know when to shut up, but, for something like this, I'm hurting, and I need to just get off of my chest how much this is, affecting us.

[campbell-rose]

Helluva Rewrite: Moxxie

A big thing with Moxxie was just me wanting him to not look like a butler. I don’t know what it is with Viv and men in suits, but I'm not a fan. To keep his vest from blending into his pants, I untucked a bit of his undershirt. I want each member of IMP to stand out visually from one another (because all imps literally look related to some degree lol) so I gave Moxxie green in his color palette to contrast the orangish red tone I gave his skin. I also think green eyes will help him stand out very nicely from the group. Instead of striped I put gold rings on his tail and gave him a couple rings on his fingers because greed and gold. Since Viv loves bowties, I let Mox keep his but made it droopy because I think it’s cuter. Originally, I was going to keep his coattails, but I feel like with the shape of his legs it just muddies his silhouette. 

With Moxxie there isn’t much about his character I have to gripe about or want to change. He’s a skilled gunman with knowledge of the subject and history of guns. Cool, now for that, I’m working in his greed traits and decided that he outright hoards guns (since viv wants to claim imps hoard things). Moxxie has a vast collection and is always keeping them nice and spiffy. 

Now one thing I don’t like about Moxxie is his insecurity. Moreso the fact that it’s constantly being played up, like in Unhappy Campers where he’s like a crotchety old woman going through menopause because his wife is more popular than him. At that point it’s just stupid for the sake of drama. Since I made Millie the insecure one, I’m going to play up Moxxie’s straight man status. 

Moxxie is going to be the level headed cool sniper type I suppose. He’s not going to be as expression as Millie, the blue oni to her red in a sense. I think the comedy of that could be when something does make him lose his composure (I think I'll draw up a redone scene as an example) like Millie’s parents outright disliking him or Striker singing about how he sucks and should go fuck himself. I like the idea that because of his childhood as the son of an abusive mob boss father he’s learned to shove bad feelings down rather than express them outright. This doesn’t mean I want him to be a stone faced rock. No, I mostly just want him to express surface level exasperation and frustration with Blitzø’s antics (like his big “WHAT?” when Blitz mentions he hired Strikker) 

So an example of this could be Striker’s song. After he tells Moxxie to go fuck himself, a close shot of Moxxie’s face shows it twitching. He adjusts his glasses, stands up, and excuses himself. (Millie recognizes that this is bad because she knows him and follows) But she loses him in Striker’s fangirl crowd. Moxxie will be visibly upset as he climbs the stairs before hearing Millie calling for him and regaining his composure – until he notices the glow coming from Striker’s room that catches his attention. 

So I don’t want this Moxxie to be a straight-faced ass, just a more composed character. 

Back to his insecurity real quick! Mozzie is a trained assassin but his is not physically strong enough to fight hand to hand. This is a weak spot for him because his father constantly shat all over him growing up and would literally smack him around and Moxxie was (in his own mind) too physically weak to stop it from happening. 

As to how he met Blitzo... well in this I don’t want the bs jail in hell bit because there has been no justifiable ass pulls by Viv or the team. Idk I'm having trouble. Maybe they met through Millie? Like Moxxie meets Millie doing something and is like ‘holy shit I love this chick fuck you dad I'm out.’ 

Idk that’s what I'm going with I'll fix it later this took way too long to do and i'll still gotta do Blitzo and Stolas and maybe the other characters and then maybe rework season one idk i'll focus on just doing Blitzo and reworking my Loona again

[wetcatspellcaster]

ok i don't normally make 'crotchety old lady on porch' posts. but i just saw someone on another social media website say they were feeling 'nostalgic' for their bg3 pairing and??? ....how????? it's not even been a year since release????? fan creators are still churning out content????

i know fandoms seem to cycle way quicker these days, but it's always so funny to me when people start to wonder why. the posts about 'the fandom is dying' are starting to circulate for bg3, and - not in a shaming way bc everyone is entitled to find new interests and new hyperfixations and also REST!! I'm not holding anyone hostage!!! - but... maybe it's because you barely gave it a chance to live??? by the time it had started to gather momentum you had already left it behind???

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

I'm a bi woman who works with FOUR crotchety, old Boomers. They're religious and they're Trumpers. I mind my own business and don't take my personal life to work, but these are the last people on Earth who'd kill me for being queer (ik you don't care for that word, so I apologize). Like, I just know I could walk into work tomorrow and be like, yeah, I'm totally gay, and they'd be like, doesn't matter, Kid, just do your work.

My family is pretty anti gay, and I don't think they'd accept me, so I stay in the closet, but there is 100% no way they'd disown me, let alone want me dead.

Conservative friends just love me like normal, and it's not even a question in my mind if they care about my sexual preferences.

I'm sorry for every LGB+ person who's been abused. I know they're out there, I've been friends with some of them. I even know a guy whose parents sent him to conversion therapy in high school. It's terrible to know some people hate us.

But this across the board, black and white, right wingers want you dead mentality is nonsense. It's ignorant fear mongering. Spiteful.

Worst I've seen the conservatives do is threaten to pray for me. 😂

Of course, I don't have much of a victim card to show for. There have been times I was harassed or snubbed for my sexuality, almost always by other gay women. Liberals, at that. For the most part, though, people have left me alone, and you know what? It doesn't matter. I see the way you and others get treated right here on Tumblr, and I'm appalled.

My conservative friends, family, and coworkers would never talk to me the way these cowardly Zoomer brats talk to you.

And let's just say, I'm not remaining anonymous because I'm afraid of my conservative family and friends; as a matter of fact, there are libs (some I consider friends!) following me, and I don't need the aggravation of their whole, how dare you talk to that transphobic traitor schtick.

I don't think this is even the 20th ask I've gotten from someone in the original LGBT alphabet soup saying almost these exact same things. It's so weird how Republicans and libertarians hate us and want us dead, but instead of ever trying to harm us or attack us, they just...act like normal people as long as we do the same. It's almost like maybe a lot of bad interactions between gays and the right aren't because the right can't stop from hating us, but because so many gays these days are absolutely insufferable.

You're absolutely right and you should say it.

[queer-crusader]

One of the more difficult things for me in realising I may in fact be autistic, is the facing of old insecurities. I mean, I've been a weird kid who's socially awkward all my life. The signs have always been there. I've been lucky with a caring family that has accommodated for a lot of the struggles I might have faced, which means I didn't really face them head-on and was never really held back that much by them - and thus not very actively aware of them. Yes, my social development was a little different, a little slower. But in the end, I really grew into my own in my college years. I learned how to interact with people more easily, I came out of my shell. Then, after uni, I got a call centre job, and structural communication became so integral to that work that I became almost an expert on how to communicate easily and clearly (maybe more than almost - I'm a coach, now training others in communication, and I'm good at it!). Reading people was something I'd developed in acting class and through my writing skill that I'd worked on over the years, and now I can bring it to much more effective fruition with the training from work. After all those awkward teen years, I finally have a good grade in Communication, something easy to want and possible to achieve!

And then the realisation slips in that I do get socially overwhelmed and need my "crotchety old man in his rocking chair shouting 'get off my lawn'" time to chill by myself. That I crave structure, despite my love of chaos. That I do still say stuff that can be considered weird or awkward, and that I am sometimes unaware of this in the moment, despite my developed ability to read a room and adapt to it. And that the way I was all those years, both as a little kid and a teen, was FULL of signs of autism that I just missed.

And like, all of that is fine. No-one can be perfect at human interaction. But when you're at a point that you feel comfortable in your social skills in a way that makes you feel normal and confident, it almost feels like it's always been that way. You remember being awkward as a teen, but it also feels like you're at a normal point now, and the skills you've developed have come naturally over time. Thus, you must be Normal™ and Good At Social™.

Except... Well. I'm pretty sure I am some flavour of autistic. The skills I've developed have come later than they might for others, and have been hard-fought to gain. I'm okay with not being normal, I'm also fairly sure I have a flavour of ADHD. I get passionate about things others might not, in ways others might not. I get energy from specific things and struggle with menial tasks others do with minimal effort or grumbling. That's cool. I have coping mechanisms that develop all the time. I like being me. Love it, even.

But I was PROUD to be Socially Competent, you know? And I still am socially competent. But now I see the layer beneath the end ("end") result with more clarity. The insecurity about not being socially competent. The rocky foundations. The extensive work to build me up to where I am.

I hated being socially awkward as a kid. I was an outcast, and the people I DID manage to hang out with were even bigger outcasts. I wasn't bullied per se, but I just. Never fit in. Never felt socially fully happy or fulfilled. Not until after secondary school. And that insecurity is still there. The reminder of that awkward time is there in the foundations of the work done to be where I am today.

And now, with my realisation, I'm looking under the hood to find the absolute mess of cables that keep my engine running. It's a less pretty sight than I want it to be. But I've always been a perfectionist who sets unattainable goals for themselves. I cannot fix the mess that makes up the foundation of me, I can only learn to accept it and keep developing and strengthening myself. That is a lifelong project. But I'll get there.

Eventually.

Hopefully.

[teknicaldifficulties]

a few workin' boys thoughts now that i've finally watched it!

linda and gerald in the audience were absolute highlights

as was mariah as zoey as hidgens, i don't say this often, but she absolutely slayed

speaking of hidgens, yeah. jeff wins. he Is hidgens. he really sells just how much of a crotchety old bastard he is, and he brings the appropriate amount of menace while still being funny.

i do think the climax/ending felt,,, not rushed per se, but just kinda hasty. y'know? and like yeah, i know, in the talkback nick and matt explained that the earlier drafts of the film were Way Too Long, but i was surprised with how quickly it all wrapped up. i'm having trouble explaining it, but i think it could've benefited from lingering just a little longer on the fucked up shit. or maybe i'm just nitpicking, i don't fuckin' know.

i'm glad they finally confirmed that yes, the workin' boys are Dead and they died a long-ass time ago. i know the "hidgens was struck by lightning" tidbit was semi-common knowledge for a while thanks to nick on twitter, but somehow i never put together that it was related to what happened to the workin' boys. well played, brothers lang!

[imfluentinfangirlandgay]

Call me old school but "modern" cars are way too overkill.

My car (a used 2010 Honda accord) was totalled and I'm currently renting a 2018 Ford edge from my insurance company while I find a new vehicle.

Now driving this thing feels like driving a damn spaceship or the DeLorean from Back to the Future. There's just so many damn buttons, dials, lights, and just fluff in the dash and center console it's straight up hard to drive. On closer inspection, at least 5 buttons control the light above the driver and passenger's head.

Like what is all this??? Why do we need this many buttons???

And the stick for changing gears? It's that little dial in the second photo. You swivel it to change whether you're in park, reverse, drive, etc. I feel like it's gonna just randomly pop into a different gear while I'm driving!

And why the touch screen?? We don't need a massive ipad embedded in the console! Touch screens are not safe to drive with! I almost got in another accident trying to turn down the AC because I have no tactile feedback in the controls!

By old car was built like this:

Most of those buttons were for the radio. Dials for the AC and how to direct it, and those dials clicked when you moved them so you could tell how far they'd moved. The stick shift clunked when you moved it so you could tell how many times it had been moved and you felt it lock into place. Only a couple buttons on the steering wheel, three for cruise control, three for the audio system. And even this was the most buttons I had to learn ever! I'd argue some of the 'features' in that car were kinda useless and needless to have and just took up space!

Maybe I'm just crotchety and old (I'm 24 lol) but we don't need all this shit in cars! It's straight up distracting and unnecessary. It's a car. It gets you from point A to point B. I don't think you'd ever catch my driving a car any newer than like 2014.