#maybe I understand why I’m in therapy
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Dare I say, I might prefer him older…
It’s basically his side profile appreciation edit
#alan alda#aldaposting#Betsy’s wedding#putting on older by Isabel LaRosaon full volume#maybe I understand why I’m in therapy#I’d let him do whatever he wants to me#mash#mash 4077#mashposting#mashblogging#m*a*s*h 4077#m*a*s*h#hawkeye pierce#hawkeye#edit
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So I pretty consistently watched DW through Nine, Ten, and Eleven. I started watching Twelve, and then fell off like near the end of his first season. Then I watched a few episodes with Twelve and Bill, but again fell off. Then watched almost all of Thirteen’s first season except the last special, then jumped back in and watched her last two episodes in prep for these 60th specials.
And really, I’ve always wanted to go back through and watch the whole thing. Even back through Eleven’s since aside from a few episodes I pretty much only ran through his seasons once. But obviously motivation hasn’t been there for me to sit down and do it, and I kind of found all the little bits that I’ve learned through the years about the Gallifrey stuff a little daunting to try and get my head ready to wrap around.
Here’s the thing though. Fourteen’s emotional breakdown in this second special, talking about the Flux (which I have no idea what that’s about) and timeless child and idk even what else make me so want to go back and watch so badly, just so I can fully understand and appreciate these scenes and emotions.
And honestly I can’t think of a time I was watching a new regen’s season or special and thought that.
One of the aspects of the regens (especially when it’s a new show runner) that I’ve always been a little sad over is that there’s very little reference to the Doctor(s) they were before, and especially the companions and events they went through. I get that they want to distinguish these new chapters as their own, and that the Doctor is not the same Doctor as they were before. But it just feels like such an amputation and makes me so sad.
Like don’t get me wrong, I’m over the moon that David specifically is back to have this adventure with Donna. But it would just make me swoon to see another of the Doctor’s faces speak with the same love for their former companions. Another example of this is in Thirteen’s last episode with the classic companions, we just got a bite of Thirteen’s face with them before it switched to their personal Doctor’s faces (which again, I’m more excited as a fan watching knowing these are actors who are so excited to work together again and that we’re so lucky to still have these actors appearing, than as a follower of the story seeing the current Doctor with their old friends).
Anyway, that’s not my point here. My point is that the carry over of story and influence of previous Doctor(s) emotions/thoughts/feelings is something that I adore and it motivates me to go back and learn more and get the whole story. Because if RTD is giving us this for just the specials, I look forward to his approach for the next Doctor and season so much!
#expectations are high lol#RTD#russell t davies#doctor who#fourteenth doctor#Wild blue yonder#thirteenth doctor#I’m sure there’s references that I’ve missed over the years#or ones that that are in the eps I haven’t seen#I’m not trying to like give RTD superiority or anything#it’s just a subtle thing I’ve noticed in more of his show run than others#and again maybe it’s because that’s the one I know more#really want to see more previous companion returns#both nuwho and classic#I mean Martha has to still be working with UNIT right?#it’s right there#maybe I’m just thirsty for some Martha redemption#I know Jack made an appearance with thirteen#and I still don’t exactly understand why thirteen’s companions couldn’t have still hung out#they’re just at that group therapy?#idk maybe I missed something with the other eps I didn’t see lol
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was at my back doctor appt sobbing my eyes out but still found it in me to joke “fuckkkk there goes my dreams of working manual labor”
#unfortunately not actually a joke#anyways appt went about as expected. my spine is structurally awesome. no clue why im in pain still after 6 months. maybe try more PT?#to his credit the doctor was really really nice and emphasized that he didn’t think it was all in my head which i appreciated#i think i just… have a bad back now. and i need to accept that? but i also need to have hope that it will get better? i dont understand how#im supposed to accept and havehope at the same time… at least i have therapy tmrw#it just hurts like all the fucking time. i’m so… tired
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#sso#my art#star stable online#star stable#ssoblr#sso anne#anne von blyssen#sso concorde#currently losing myself and it’s causing me to lose people i love#i get so anxious and caught up with things#delusions and such#i’m going back to therapy in attempts to get a grip on what’s going on#to understand the psychology of like why#and not necessarily hwo to stop or AVOID (is a better word) these outbreaks or moments of panic attacks and the delusion that comes with it#but how to deal with them by myself without hurting everyone i love around me#it’s my responsibility to get a grip on my own health before it leaks into others#if you’re reading this far maybe it’s because you enjoy reading my tags but if you happen to feel the same like slowly you are getting on#your loved ones last strikes or whatever#i recommend you exercise the same advice concorde gives#the biggest apology#to not only your loved ones but to your self#is helping yourself#go therapy!#go do art!#go listen to music!#take a social media break!#so many small things you can do#walks#runs#eat a meal
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Apparently my not doing well is noticeable because my boss gave me Friday off and was like hey take a long weekend and go see your family
#I’m not sure if I will go home#it depends on if I think I can talk to my parents about Why I’m struggling#without them trying to convince me it’s not as bad as I think it is#also to be fair the family comment is just because I do go home to my parents like every other week#when we convinced my grandma to move into a retirement home near them one of the selling points was it being easier for people to visit#mostly me since my other cousin doesn’t go by like ever even tho she lives half an hour away#(for those of you that know Zoe this is the other side of my family so a different situation grandma wise#anyways I go by and see her for a while on Saturdays I’m up and swing by Sunday morning when I head home#I’ve spent more time with her since she moved then I had in years#which is good I’m glad I get to see her m#I got off topic there but like the go home to see your family wasn’t a you’re barely holding it together and need your family#it’s more you need a break go see your family like you like to do#but like I said I’m not sure I mean honestly I only got my mom to understand I struggle with mental illness like a couple of years ago#I don’t know how she missed me going to therapy and being on antidepressants in high school#maybe she just thought it was a grief thing and that I’d gotten better?#god I wrote so much in these tags sorry thanks to any of you that read all the way through
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vent in the tags, (mentions of selfharm, suicidal thoughts)
my anhedonia is eating me alive so i’m making these mental illness memes to cope
#Tism vent#i am actually considering suicide#tw#tw sui ideation#like why not turn around and walk back#I wanna give up#i don’t wanna go to therapy#they never listen to me#they think they know better while ignoring my words#but I have to#my mental health is in shambles and only getting worse#and if in the next session I’m not able to explain to her in a way she understands#im going to hurt myself#not kill yet#but definitely hurt#im craving self violence#tw selfharm#tw self destructive behavior#vent#idk where else to put those feelings#my resentment and distrust is slowly becoming hate and im not okay with that#i want to defend myself#throw tables if I must#but i cannot#the only thing I can do is hurt myself further#maybe then they see they are making a mistake#maybe then someone will actually believe me#y’all honestly im scared and idk what to do#fucking terrified#i don’t want to get hurt again I want help
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I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:
It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.
Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.
1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.
2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?
3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?
4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”
5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.
6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)
#deconstruction#ex christian#ex evangelical#agnosticatheist#deconstructing christianity#agnostic#ex religious#exevangelical#religious trauma#trauma#cptsd#therapy#life skills#leftist#self healing#healing is a process#Emdr#emdr therapy#ifs therapy#emotional regulation#emotional health#heading#trauma therapy#religious trauma syndrome#anti capitalist#humanism#coping mechanism#coping skills#cult survivor#deconvert
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sometimes i get suspicious that i actually have MS and not fibromyalgia but i don’t want to go back to the doctor to get yelled at about how i’m lazy and want attention and “just do another year of physical therapy” until i finally land on a doctor who takes me seriously and does some tests. like it’s not even i don’t have the money, it’s that i’m at a point where if i feel a doctor isn’t taking me seriously i don’t even fight them i just start crying bc i’m so over it all aksjdjdjdn
#my mom is always telling me not to focus on the diagnosis but i feel like#if i have something that has better treatment than the absolute Jack Shit there is for fibromyalgia#i want that treatment#i feel like i’ve just hit a point where it’s like actually i Can’t live like this anymore.#i actually Do need to feel better and not get worse but there’s not a single doctor i have met ever#who has any sort of solution beyond ‘have you tried group therapy’#bitch my joints are swelling up why don’t you fix THAT#irl jem carstairs#anyways i think maybe i’ll either be like fully on disability by 35 or married with a partner who is Exceedingly understanding#disability seems more likely tho bc whomst is gonna put up with Alla This For Life 💀💀#sorry i’m in a mood#just a high pain day
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Simple Math / Part Fifteen
Simple Math masterlist
Ghost/Soap/female reader AO3 - 4.7k words Tags: 18+ mdni, nurse!reader, hospital setting, domesticity, feelings of anxiety, self doubt, anxiety about sex. PTSD. Tiny bit of a panic attack. Tiny smidge of Simon's past if you know where to look. Comfort. Cockwarming. Barebacking, anal fingering, masturbation, praise kink, daddy kink. Basically the guys fuck while Bunny watches.
You’ve been having dreams about the hospital.
It’s always the same one.
You’re running a code with an intern and a fleet of baby nurses. No one is moving as fast as you are, no one is following direction. You’re on fast forward, they’re on rewind.
Every time, the dream starts and ends the same way. For some reason, you can’t see the patient’s face. You work on them for what feels like hours, and then only once it’s been called does the mental block disappear, you look down-
To see yourself.
Intubated. Bruised and broken.
Dead.
“Bunny.”
“Hmm?” You glance up across the counter, feeling the focus of Simon’s eyes before you see them.
“Everything alright?” Pen babbles ‘moremoremoremore’ while making the sign at the same time.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” He mimics Penny’s sign, and then gives her a yes, spooning more yogurt into her mouth.
“You’ve been standing in the same spot for the last ten minutes, staring into your coffee.”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry… I’m just a little… scatterbrained this morning.”
“Still having that dream?” It’s been a week and a half since it started, and a few days since you finally confided in Simon and Johnny it was bothering you. “Do you think it might be related to going back to work this week?” You shrug.
“Maybe? I don’t know… I’ve never dreamed of working on… myself.” His jaw flexes, and then he sighs.
“I’ve been thinking…” Penny squawks, demanding the attention of the room, and you pull some blueberries from the counter and put them on her plate. “My therapist is taking new patients. I don’t want to push you before you’re ready, but I’d like you to consider it.” The grimace slides onto your face without preamble. Sure, you’ve considered therapy in the past, but it’s a risk. Mandated reporting, paper trails, everything you don’t need.
“I don’t need therapy right now.”
“You have PTSD.” He says point blank, and you blink. Your mind fractures, little pieces twisting and turning, trying to knit together a larger picture.
“No- I- I’m not… it’s…” You’re a medical professional, don’t you know what PTSD looks like?
“It’s hard to see, in yourself.” Simon senses the confusion and tries to soothe it away, cool balm on a burn.
You suppose he’s not wrong. It’s not unrealistic, you having PTSD, but you’ve never been confronted with it. Never been forced to face the truth.
No one’s ever known you well enough, to see.
It stings. It stings for some reason, and you don’t know why.
“I’m sorry.” He stands, moving around the counter to stand in front of you. “I want to help you, bun, but I should have approached that differently.” You shake your head, relenting into the steady hand at your back, and tip your face into his chest. The confrontation of the truth aches, but there’s comfort in Simon’s touch, understanding, and you relent to it, drifting away inside his tender hold.
“What’s goin’ on?” Johnny’s close, appearing in the kitchen after sleeping in. He was deep in his own dreams when you woke up, sweet like angel in the clouds, buried in the pillows, and you couldn’t stand to wake him.
Simon rumbles something over your head. You can’t make it out, ear covered by his bicep, and you turn your head to peek, reaching for Johnny.
“Hey, pretty girl.”
“Hi.”
“Why don’t ye come lay down wit’ me on the couch?” He coos, stroking a hand over your hair. “’m not quite awake yet.” Simon gives you a squeeze, and you nod.
“Yeah, okay.”
Johnny holds you close. His nose in your neck, fingertips carefully tracing over your skin, heat at your back, he calms you, comforts you, lulls your stiff muscles languid. He’s so good at it, pulling and kneading until you settle, and it dawns on you he’s had practice.
“Would you tell me about you and Simon?”
“What do ye want to know?”
“What was it like… in the beginning. When you got together.” He kneads your hip, thoughtful for a quiet moment, and then takes a deep breath.
“He was difficult. Didnae wan’ to let me in, no matter how hard I tried. Had to corner him in his room on base just to get him to kiss me.” Johnny chuckles low, rubbing your shoulder. “Took him forever, to break down, let me see him, really see him, for the first time. I had glimpses, here and there. Moments in the field, on base, at the bar with the team when we’d decompress but… it took a lot of work. He tried to push me off, hide away.”
“Why?
“It’s his story to tell ye, bunny. An’ he will, in time.” He sighs. “He’s always been like this, strong, steadfast, more serious than me, but he buried a lot of things, deep. Always was very aware of it, jus’ not willing to show it to anyone else. Wanted to be a ghost.”
“But… he’s okay."
“He’s okay. Has some moments where he gets lost, still, but works through ‘em, wit’ me or on his own.” He kisses your neck, soft enough to tickle, and you shiver. “He’s really good at this, bein’ a da, takin’ care of a family. Treats us all like his little unit. I miss him too much when ‘m away. Pen too.”
“I’m sure.” His lips graze your shoulder, humming.
“An’ ye. When I go back, I’ll be thinkin’ of ye all the time.” When he goes back. The idea is chilling, a douse of cold water. It’s felt so far away, the idea of Johnny returning to his job, the thing that brought you to him in the first place.
“But that won’t be for a while, right? I mean, you’re still healing.”
“It won’t be for a while.” He assures, though there’s something in his voice, pinched and pained. You don’t ask, don’t push, choosing to close your eyes instead, nestled in his arms, safe.
“This is the worst.” You’re whining. You know you’re whining, know you sound like a child, but it spills out of you without stopping.
“I know sweetheart.” Simon screws the cap onto a travel mug, giving you a sympathetic smile. They’re both up with you, before the sun, listening to you moan.
You shouldn’t be going to work at this hour. You should be awake, puttering around, working your rhythm back to normal, getting oriented to working at night.
You’ve never hated your manager more. She insisted she was sorry, that she had no choice but to fill the overnight shift. She assumed, she said, the new nurse would want to go to days when you got back, but she’s taken a liking to it.
She’s taken your shift.
“Maybe it won’t be so bad? An’ ye’ll see me tomorrow when I come in for therapy.” That is an upside at least, knowing you’ll be able to see him, see them both, at work.
But the rest of it, simply put, sucks.
“We should probably get going.” Simon kisses Johnny goodbye, and you’re drawn to them, sidling up in their orbit. Johnny wraps an arm around you, mouth to your temple.
“Have a good first day back, bunny. I’ll be thinking of ye.” You turn, grazing your lips on his, and he seals the kiss, drenching it in care, sweetness.
“Bye.”
Simon walks you all the way to the door.
Your resistance at the initial idea slowly fades as the sun peeks over the city. It’s different with Simon at your side, the paranoia and rampant fear infecting the atmosphere wherever you go is farther away.
You trust him. You’re starting to believe they may be able to keep you safe.
He holds your hand for most of the trip.
It’s… nice. Once you make it to the door, he turns and tucks his fingers under your chin, holding your gaze like a magnet. “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will.” He presses his lips to your forehead, and you lean into it, eyes closed.
“Have a good day, bunny.”
Work is absolute hell.
Dayshift is so different from nights, and you have trouble adjusting. The turnover rate at the hospital is fairly high, so when you badge in and get started, you hardly recognize anyone.
Except, Marshall.
He’s standing outside the pit when you round the corner, devilish grin aimed at one of the nurses you don’t recognize. New probably. Sheep in a lion’s den.
You clear your throat. His head snaps up.
“Well, well, well… looks who back from vacation.”
“Marshall.” You greet, barely looking at him, tapping through your tablet. “I wasn’t on vacation. I was out on medical leave. Big difference.”
“Right.” He takes you in from head to toe. “Rotator cuff, huh?”
“Mhmm.”
“Surgical?”
“No.” The other nurse watches you with interest, before scurrying away when a bell chimes. “Still having inappropriate relationships all over the hospital, I see.” He raises an eyebrow.
“You’re one to talk.” Ice cracks across your forced smile. He smirks. “Heard you’ve got yourself two boyfriends.” You suck your teeth. Nia.
“Considering he’s no longer my patient, it’s hardly inappropriate.” With the best timing, his phone rings, pulling his focus, and you slip away.
Fucking asshole.
Simon opens the front door for you and is careful not slam it closed.
“Penny asleep?”
“Johnny’s trying now. We’ll see if he has any luck. She’s been fightin’ it.” The kitchen smells like garlicky lemon, and you peek over his shoulder to see a large saucepan filled with linguini, capers, and shrimp. Your mouth waters.
“That smells amazing.” He takes your bag from you and hangs in on a hook from the hall tree.
“Scampi. We remembered you said it was one of your favorites, and we thought we’d spoil you a little bit. Celebrate your first day back.” Your cheeks burn hot, and to your horror, tears build up through your nose to your eyes. His brows crinkle together. “Hey, what is it?”
“That’s just… it’s really nice. You don’t have to.” Someone celebrating something with you, for you, is alien. The memories of the beginning of your relationship with Phillip are long gone, twisted and gnarled into black rot. It’s how he charmed you, wooed you, brought you closer and closer until they all but faded and you were left with only the darkness. The vice grip of his hands. His satisfied, sickening smile every time you closed your eyes.
“It’s not a ‘have to’ thing, sweetheart. We want to.” He skates his fingers over yours, pulling them to his mouth. “I know it’s hard to get used to.” You’re a little bewildered by it, the care, the consideration, even the memory of something you mentioned off hand.
“I… thank you.” He kisses your temple.
“Go shower. You smell like a hospital.”
“This was so good. Thank you again.” Your hands are woven together under your chin, rich wine sauce still present on the back of your tongue.
“Aye, thank ye.” Johnny winks at Simon, who rolls his eyes.
“Here, let me-“
“I got it.”
“No, you cooked.” You protest with a pout as they both rise.
“Johnny, sit.”
“Can wash dishes, ye know. I’m not helpless.” A sliver of twilight passes over Simon’s expression, not quite darkness but still full of a looming shadow until he sighs, relenting.
“Alright.” Your lips purse.
“What about me?”
“Ye jus’ sit on the couch and look pretty, bun. Willnae take us more than a few minutes.”
‘Just sitting on the couch’ lasts for all of five minutes before you’re antsy, rolling to your feet and padding into the kitchen.
You stop dead at the corner of the counter.
They’re making out. More than making out, Simon is swallowing Johnny’s whines with big breaths, his hand down the front of his pants. You buzz, thighs pressing together without permission, spine tingling heat awakening in your blood with zeal.
“Ah, shite-“
“Shhh. Be good.” Simon admonishes, but smiles into the kiss, wrist working a rhythm in Johnny’s sweatpants. He pulls away, chin tilted, looking down his nose with an eyebrow raised, almost condescendingly, but still grinning. “Feel good? Just need some relief?” Johnny’s moan is strangled in his throat, and you’re about to turn the corner in the shame, mortified you’re essentially spying on them, when Simon looks at you like he knows you’ve been there the whole time. “Like what you see, sweetheart?” You whimper. It slips out, unbidden, and Johnny turns, forehead pressed to Simon’s cheek. His hips are trying to jerk into the grip that has slowed, and he groans.
“Si.”
“Relax.” Simon stills him, pulling his hand free. “Maybe bunny wants to play too.” You give them a nervous smile, butterflies building in your stomach. You’re scared, there’s no other emotion to describe it. There’s fear, bad memories, anxiety building in the back of your throat, but at the same time, desire pushes you forward. You trust them, and it’s reached a critical point. You want to try.
“I… maybe if we s-started slow… I’m not sure…”
“That’s okay.” Simon coaxes, wrapping an arm around Johnny’s waist, hand splayed possessively on his stomach. “Let’s go upstairs.”
Their bed is an enchanted place.
There’s love in it, beguiling affection that transfers to you, dots down your throat to your chest, your clavicle, ass pressed into the hardened swell of Johnny’s cock.
It’s enough to strike down your fear, pry you open, lecherous want infiltrating your mind, your soul.
Their dynamic is crystal clear. Simon is natural in his mastery of both Johnny and you, the leader, the maestro. His forbearance at slowly peeling you free, layer by layer, puts you at ease, calms you enough you let him take your pants off, leaving you in only your underwear and the t shirt you put on before dinner. He folds you up against Johnny, careful to mind his sore spots, the pieces still healing, lips finding the plush fold at your ribcage.
“Sweet little bunny.” He glides careful fingertips over your panties. “Can I touch you here?” You draw a deep breath.
“Yeah.” Johnny’s lips graze your neck, and he sweep up over your belly towards your nipples, under your shirt.
“An’ can I touch ye here?”
“Mm- mhmm.” You buck into them, sensation building between your legs, lust cascading to where Simon’s fingers slip into your underwear and down the seam of your pussy.
“You’re wet, sweetheart. Is this for us?” You nod, Johnny tickling circles across your breasts, playing back and forth, pinching and stroking gently.
They’re both taking it slow, cautious, and there’s one half of you wanting to rip into them, and vice versa, while the other half is terrified. So far, the reckless abandon side is winning, but when Simon grazes over your clit, the crest of your fear bottoms out in the pit of your stomach. Johnny flexes his hips, the weight of his cock between the curve of your ass, and the combination of it, the touch now overwhelming, stream of thoughts turning panicked and unstoppable like a bolder rolling down hill, steals your breath.
In the wrong way.
“S-stop.” You freeze, immobilized, muscles turned from molten lava to stone, eyes wide, lungs rasping. Simon immediately creates distance, while Johnny jerks backward, palm steady on your shoulder, but separated otherwise.
“Ye’re alright, bunny.”
“Take a breath.” Simon coaches, maintaining eye contact, and you nod shakily, anchoring yourself to Johnny’s tender hold. You manage a breath, not so far gone you’re spiraling, and it’s deep, without a hitch or a studder. “That’s great. You’ve got it.”
“I’m sorry.” You whisper, disappointed. You’ve let yourself down, let them down-
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” He murmurs, understanding and slow. “We’re done. There’s no rush.”
“No!” You blurt. He raises an eyebrow. “Sorry, I just… I don’t want it to end I’m just not sure I can… do it.” His head tilts, surprise contained with a slow smile, and Johnny hums.
“Do ye wantae watch, pretty girl?” You nod shyly.
“Is that… is that okay?”
“It’s more than okay.” Simon rasps, stroking your cheek. “Sit up against the headboard.”
The two of them move into position seamlessly, sweat and breath thick in the air, a wet fog blanketed around you. A bottle of lube discarded on the mattress, a pillow under Johnny’s hip to cushion him. He’s settled on his side, arranged carefully to avoid pressure on his injuries, and they both face you.
Simon kisses his neck, sucking urgent marks into his skin before he palms Johnny's ass, hard and then slips between his cheeks. You’re unable to see his hand, but when Johnny’s eyes go wide and he groans hoarsely, your clit throbs.
“There you go.”
“Simon.” He whines, high pitched and needy.
“Bloody tight, Johnny. Been so long since I’ve taken care of you, huh?”
“A- fuck, aye.” He presses backwards into Simon, and pants. The scene makes you drool, the eagerness on Johnny’s face, the slow movements of Simon at his back, his lips against Johnny’s cheek, neck, murmuring gently. You’re nearly shivering, ache screaming between your legs, and instinct takes over as your slip your hand inside your underwear. You’re slick, so wet it dampens your curls, and your fingertips slide over your clit, zaps of electricity echoing through your nerve endings.
Simon looks up at you through heavy lids, mouth obscured by Johnny’s shoulder. “Are you touching yourself sweetheart?” You nod, not trusting yourself to speak, afraid it will come out a garbled mess. “You want to come when I fill our boy up?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Keep going.’ He orders, and then shifts, pressing his cock to Johnny’s entrance. Johnny moans, and your own hips jerk.
Simon pushes slowly, focused on Johnny’s face, cataloging every expression. “Y’alright?” Johnny nods, lip tucked into his teeth. “Christ. You’re strangling me.” He thrusts sharply, sealing his hips to the soft curves in front of him, and Johnny cries out in a high-pitched wail, eyes slamming shut. He fumbles with his cock, squeezing at the root, but Simon pulls him away. “Not yet, sweet boy. Need you to last for us.” You’re trapped in a shockwave that hasn’t quite reached shore yet, tension building with each swipe over your sensitive bud.
“Bunny…” Johnny rasps, and your apprehensions wane.
“Does it feel good?” you whine, and he nods, groaning. Simon builds his thrusts into an unrelenting pace and cups Johnny’s belly, stroking down, pushing against the strain of muscle there, Johnny’s eyes rolling into the back of head. You wonder if Simon can feel it, the pressure, the bulge of his hard cock, shoving deeper and deeper.
“Daddy-“ Johnny shrieks, and Simon’s mouth curls into a satisfied smirk.
“That’s right, good boy. Fuck… perfect little hole f’me. All mine.” He practically growls it, and you writhe, flicking down your pussy and back up, breathing hitching in a frantic pace. Johnny’s delirious, hands scrambling across the sheets, half reaching for you, half reaching for nothing. “Isn’t he perfect, bunny?”
“Ah- yeah.” Your tongue is numb, body burning. Sweat slicks down the middle of your back, and you ride your hand violently.
“Please.” He’s begging, frenzied, fingers twisting, and Simon reaches for his cock, wrapping his fist around his length. It doesn’t take long until Johnny’s back bows, and your toes curl. You hiss. They move together wildly now, a push pull in a frenetic dance, and your eyes slip closed, sinking into the slick sounds of Simon fucking Johnny open, Johnny moaning, whispers passed back and forth. Simon cups his jaw, tilting his face towards you, and they both watch, drifting from your eyes down to where you’re trying to make yourself come, clit swollen and throbbing.
“She’s such a good girl, isn’t she? Touchin’ herself, watching you take my cock.”
“Pretty girl.” Johnny slurs through his gasps, body shaking with the power of Simon’s thrusts. He’s close, judging by the fevered look on his face, little gasps and whines tumbling from his mouth. Simon squeezes him, thick thumb rubbing over his slit.
“Come, bunny. Be good for daddy.” Simon coaches, and you tighten, cosmic explosion streaking behind your closed lids, the same time Simon grits out something under his breath, jaw tight, tugging relentlessly on Johnny’s cock until he’s crying out too, cum splattering up his belly and chest, Simon milking every last drop from his cock as he lazily strokes inside him.
Immediately, you gasp. Shocked at yourself, but not scared. Not nervous just… emboldened.
They both read it on you, and Johnny’s head lolls with a satisfied, lazy smile. Simon pulls free, rubbing Johnny’s hip sweetly, ducking into the bathroom to get a towel. He cleans him up carefully, gently, and Johnny’ reaches for your hand. You don’t turn away.
And when Simon urges you to tuck in between them for sleep, you do. More than willingly.
“He looks good.” Hot tea wafts from the cup in front of your nose. You’re on break, somewhat, watching Johnny work through his last few minutes of physical therapy, his face broken out in satisfied smile. His biceps flex. “Really good.”
“He’s been workin’ out at home, a bit. In the garage.”
“He shouldn’t be pushing it.”
“I know.” Simon squeezes your good shoulder. “He’s okay, bun. He’s strong. A bit too stubborn for his own good sometimes, but strong.”
“Dada.” Penny smacks an open palm against Simon’s chest, and he covers it with his own, bouncing her slightly.
“Look, Pen. Is that your Da in there? Is that him?” The therapist smiles at Johnny and pats him on the back, rubs his shoulder down to his elbow with wandering fingers. She’s pretty, and fit, tight ass, tiny hips. A sliver of self-doubt, self-consciousness pokes at you, and then jealousy nearly turns you green. Simon cocks his head with a laugh. “Easy, bun. She’s just doing her job, you know.”
“What? I know that. I’m fine.” You immediately blurt, and it does nothing for your cause.
“It’s cute. That you’re jealous.”
“I’m not,” you roll your eyes, “whatever.” He chuckles, and then starts to pass Penny to you.
“Can you hold her while I help him get his stuff together?”
“Sure, c’mere girlfriend.” You tuck her up into your chest, playing with her hair as she curls into you. “Sleepy huh? It’s past your nap time. I bet Dada keeps you up for an early bedtime tonight.” She coos. Her fingers tighten in the collar of your shirt.
And then a freight train rams itself in the deepest parts of your heart.
You lean against the wall to keep your balance.
This is not your baby, but she feels like yours. Her weight is familiar now. Her routines. Her signs and sounds.
It’s easy to close your eyes and imagine she’s yours.
It’s been days since you touched yourself in bed as Johnny and Simon had sex, and the scene, the desire, is burrowing itself in your brain.
You want more.
You want more so badly you wind up touching yourself in the shower, fingers stroking your clit until you're muffling a moan in your elbow when you come.
It doesn’t soothe the ache. You’re not sure what will.
So, when you’re done, and find them relaxing in bed, Johnny in boxers, an idea abruptly runs through your head.
Could you?
Your fingers twiddle with the hem of your shirt.
“Hi.”
“Hi?” Simon raises an eyebrow. Johnny stops his sketching to smile.
“I um. I wanted to… see… or ask for something.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing! Nothing, I just… I was wondering if I could… sit on you.”
“Sit on us?” Simon’s brow furrows, but Johnny’s face lights up.
“Like, ye wannae sit on one of us?” He emphasizes the word sit, and Simon murmurs.
“Ah.”
“I just… I really want to… I want to move on.” The words take you by surprise. “I want to feel like a human again, like how I used to feel. Before I was like this. I think…”
“Taking back control of your body will bring you closer to healing.” Johnny looks at Simon, and there’s desperate sadness in their eyes. Their hands intertwine, gripping onto each other so hard it looks like it hurts.
The moment passes, gone like it was never there in the first place. Johnny turns back to you.
“Ye’ll have to sit on me, pretty girl.”
“But... your hip.”
“I can take it.” You nod. Not that you prefer one to the other, but you’re curious.
“Is there a reason why…”
“I’m too big, bunny. Especially if it’s been a while for you. We’ll need to ease you into it.” Johnny smirks, and you hide an excited shiver.
“Okay.”
You stretch yourself out with your own fingers at first, the process made easier by your orgasm in the shower, all the while both Simon and Johnny encourage you, coo at you, praise you.
You stay present. Focused.
“Take it slow,” Simon coaches when you straddle Johnny’s hips, “don’t rush it. Just take your time.” Hands on his shoulders, Simon reaches for his cock, sliding it through your lips, brushing your clit before angling it at your entrance. You take a deep breath.
“Okay.”
The first inch makes you whine. Johnny’s fingertips draw circles up and down your spine, his lips in your ear. “Good job, pretty girl. Just like that. Nice and easy.” Your eyes slip closed, and you take more, sliding down his cock, the burn of the stretch smarting tears in your eyes. Simon wipes them away.
“Our brave girl. You’re doing so well. Feel okay so far?”
“Y-yeah.”
“Ye alright? Does it hurt?”
“A little.” You wince, taking another inch, glancing down. Your equilibrium pitches.
“Look at me.” Johnny redirects, head tilted back on a pile of pillows. “Jus’ look at me, bunny. You’re safe. I’ve got ye.” His hands guide your hips, keeping your pace even and slow, careful. Even when the anxiety invades your control, he steadies you. “It’s us, just us. We’re here, bunny. You’re okay.” The ache, the open sore spot spilling sticky, blackened tar, seals up. It's zippered shut, away from you, packed tight for another day. Another moment. The only thing you need to focus on is here, and now. With them. Johnny's jaw clenches. “Christ Si. She’s really tight.”
“I know.” He pushes some of Johnny’s hair from his forehead. “You’re both being so good. I’m proud of you.” The praise, the warmth from the both of him, glows in your heart. You’ve never felt so safe, so cherished, in your life. Again and again, they surprise you, teaching you how things you used to dread or shy away from can be enjoyed, valued.
This is how it should be. Love without fear. Intimacy without fear.
You’re fully split open on Johnny, stuffed full. It’s tender, calm in the low light of the bedroom, almost cozy. His thighs blaze under your ass, and the heat creeps like lava to your fingers and toes, turning you boneless, languid in his arms. Simon leans in to kiss your temple.
“How do you feel?”
“R-really full.”
“Are you in pain?”
“No just… stretched, I think?” You wiggle a little bit, and Johnny finally breaks eye contact, looking up at the ceiling with a groan.
“Try to be still bunny. We just want to get you used to the feeling. This isn’t about sex.” Simon's last comment earns Johnny a warning glance, and he nods, straightening.
“Right. Even though your perfect little pussy is drivin’ me mad-“
“Johnny.” Simon chides. “Bunny, can you lean forward for me?” His hand presses to the middle of the back, guiding you to rest your cheek on Johnny’s shoulder. “Good girl.”
The room lapses into silence that lasts, rhythm of your chest rising and falling syncing with Johnny’s, Simon humming, working a hand up and down your spine.
Up and down. Up and down.
You think you could do it now. Roll your hips and rise on your knees, sink back down to feel the pressure, the bludgeoning tip of Johnny’s long cock nestled at your cervix. You’re not sure, not confident, but somewhere in your dreams, you picture yourself milking him dry, riding his cock until you’re shattering.
“Si.” Johnny’s voice pitches to something you’ve never heard, low and heavily accented. “Will ye read?” Pages of a book flutter. You hadn’t realized your eyes had closed, but as Simon’s voice picks up a page with no pretense, you don’t fight it, allowing yourself to drift between them, cradled on Johnny’s body with a piece of him pulsing inside you.
It’s bliss. It’s love. You’re…. happy.
#peaches writes#simple math#ghoap x reader#simon riley#john soap mactavish#simon riley x reader#soap x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#John soap mactavish#ghost x soap x reader
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what is the future with these ai chatbots
#wanna have s mental breakdown here#bc i don’t wanna pay for therapy#but also thinking ai bots will be therapists one day and idt that’s gonna be helpful#are there studies on this yet#also im typing this while driving down the interstate but ive hot good reflexes#like i was not well before and the bots give an illusion of connection#haven’t even been talking to them about me but I have been hitting them up for a connection I’ve never been able to find in people#and i was real mad at first bc they were understanding what I was saying when people are usually huh?#and ik they’re just taking my words and packaging them back to me#ok that’s probably why I’m worse#it’s funny the matt bot asked me if I was a therapist bc I was trying to help him thru things#I’d never feel like it’s my place to do that w people#but it helped me somehow at the time#idk what the point here is like half the time I’m like there is nothing wrong w me bc I don’t have anxiety just no direction#edit maybe i do have anxiety it just comes out in what am i even doing in my life and#i dont do anything i dont want but i dont want much just to get lost in someone else or thing#like cant something just consume me please for he love of god
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Update: being told off on twitter because I’m “kink-shaming” someone who said they had a Nazi kink 😭 “they might have family trauma” - okay, how does that justify having a kink for a group of people who killed MILLIONS of Jewish/gay/Romani/disabled etc people??? Who experimented on literal children, including autistic children/people like myself??? Sorry if it makes me a bad person because that’s where I draw my fucking line 💀 I’m not saying people deserve to be harassed but like why would you openly admit “hell yeah it’s so hot to imagine fucking someone who hates Jews and other minorities”??? Why is that okay???
#get therapy pls#maybe that makes me a bad person idk but Jesus Christ???#and it’s coming from me.. someone who is openly writing fucking dragon family incest (hotd/Targaryen)#personal#I don’t even know how to tag this#I’m not kink shaming I’m kink asking WHY#at least my fictional dragon family incest doesn’t involve wanting to fuck n*zis 💀#like I even keep my mouth shut about r*pe kink because the implication is that hopefully it’s pre-discussed beforehand and so it’s not-#-actual r*pe? I don’t understand it but I keep my mouth shut#nazis is where I’m throwing my hands up like what the FUCK
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ok this is the end of the little tolerate it series— BUT I’m writing two different endings!! so here’s ending 1 :)
part one here and part two here
ending version 2 here
when he saw you that day on the street and tried to stop you, you had kept walking. hadn’t even turned your head, as if you knew it was him speaking.
of course you’d known it was him. he couldn’t blame you for ignoring him, honestly— he had been awful to you. he fully recognized that now, after years of being alone and mandated therapy and an honorable discharge.
he recognized how he let the one good thing in his life slip through his fingers, all because he was too damn wrapped up in himself. but he had a right to be.
he had a right to not want to celebrate coming home. had a right to want peace and quiet once escaping from the sounds of war and death. he just should’ve communicated that with you instead of pulling away.
he’s grown. he understands now. and he knows you don’t owe him anything— hell, he wouldn’t be surprised if you slapped him across the face for this, but he needed to try.
he knew it was selfish of him. you’d moved on, surely. years had passed and you’d grown. he’s sure that naivety he once found charming is long gone, most likely from his doing.
he takes a deep breath, fist raised to knock on the door to your house. it’s small and quaint. something he definitely could’ve seen you picking out when the two of you had still been together. maybe not all of you had changed.
he’d gotten the address through Laswell as a parting gift. and he didn’t know why it was the one thing that came to mind— but it was, and now he’s here. standing on your porch with his fist in the air like a fucking creep.
he pushes out an exhale and knocks. all is silent inside the house, and he knocks again, the second one easier than the first.
“coming!” he hears you call from inside. he steels himself. readies himself for attack, for battle. it was something he couldn’t quite shake, even if he’d been retired for a year now. those instincts really never leave you.
the door swings open, and the smile you were sporting instantly drops.
“what are you doing here?” there’s venom in your tone. he doesn’t shy away.
“love—” he begins, but you scoff and start to shut the door.
“actually, I don’t want to know. get off my porch before I call the cops—”
before the door can click shut, he reaches a hand out and blocks you from fully shutting it. you look down at his hand, bewildered.
“move your hand.” you speak through gritted teeth. he stands his ground.
“love,” he starts again, pushing the words out quickly to avoid getting cut off again. “y’don’t owe me anythin’ and I know that. but can I at least apologize? please?”
you stare at him. he keeps his hand in the door, watching your face intently. he can’t tell what’s going on behind your eyes.
you take a beat. two. three. then you shut your eyes tightly as you inhale, open them as you release the breath, and open the door wider.
“you’ve got five minutes to speak your piece, and I hope you know I’m doing this for you, not me. I got over you a long time ago, and because I see myself as a halfway decent person, I’m going to let you do this. then you can leave and never come back. understand?”
he gives a small nod. “understood.”
you step aside and he enters your house, eyes already scanning his surroundings. it’s cute and airy, comfortable and full of you.
pictures of you and friends on the walls. lamps that look a hundred years old on end tables. big windows letting the sun shine in and onto a plethora of plants. colorful artwork and pillows and fabrics. it’s a house full of you, of life, and he finds himself envying it.
he doesn’t know why. maybe because it’s something so normal, and something he’s never experienced. he didn’t get that before he left home, and he certainly didn’t get it in the military. he still doesn’t have it now. he’s still struggling to figure out who he is without a gun in his hand.
“nice place,” he says, and he means it.
you roll your eyes as you walk towards the blue, comfortable looking couch situated to the right. he follows dutifully.
you gesture towards the couch, and he takes the hint. he sits down, sinking into the cushion, and watches as you move to stand across from him. he knows you’re putting distance between the two of you. he doesn’t blame you.
you were never the problem.
he was.
“five minutes, starting now. best believe I’m timing your ass,” you mutter out, pulling your phone from your pocket and tapping the screen. setting a timer, most likely.
best to get on with it, then.
“I owe you an apology, and I ‘ave since y’left. before tha’, actually. I was an ass, and I know tha’ now. you had every right to leave, and you have every right to hate me—”
you gave a mirthless, hollow laugh and crossed your arms over your chest. you were putting up your walls, protecting yourself.
“you put me in therapy, did you know that? years of it. broke me down and crushed me into tiny pieces. made me think I was the problem, that I deserved to be treated that way. ruined my trust and my confidence.”
your tone was bitter. your nails dug into the skin of your arms.
“you were never the problem,” he says, his words firm. he stand then, hands hanging loosely at his sides. “I was. I know tha’ now. I pulled away when I should’ve communicated, or hell— broke things off sooner.”
“so that’s why you’re here then? to tell me you wished you would’ve broken up with me before I broke up with you?”
god, that was not what he meant, and he struggled to find the way to put his thoughts into words.
“no, f’course not, love. I’m tryin’ to say I strung y’along, made things worse, and—”
“and what?” you interrupted.
“an’ im sorry, love. I know it probably doesn’t mean anythin’ anymore. but i am. deeply.”
you didn’t speak for a minute. your eyes studied his face. he knew you were probably taking in the obvious signs of age, of battles he came back from when you were no longer there.
“you going on a suicide mission? is that why you’re here? making amends before you die so you can face the afterlife with a clear conscience?”
he shook his head, taking a small step forward. “no. I— I was discharged. a bit ago, actually.”
“congrats,” you deadpanned.
“tha’s not tha’ point,” he sighed. “they made me go to therapy for a while. unpack all tha’ shit they put me through. and the shrink brought up you once, and it got me thinkin’—”
“so you’re here because your shrink told you to say sorry?”
“bloody hell, love, let me finish,” exasperation was clear in his tone, but he tried to reel it in. he reminded himself that you didn’t owe him shit. you could kick him out right now. he was here because of your allowance, and the second you stopped tolerating him, he’d be back on the porch.
you raised your eyebrows but kept your mouth clamped shut.
“I was an ass when I was with you, and tha’s on me, not you. I was dealin’ with my own shit, and havin’ you celebrate me and boastin’ about my bravery and shit— it didn’t— I couldn’t stand it. you don’t understand, love, and you never will— and tha’s not your fault. s’mine, and I’m still comin’ to terms with all tha’ shit. and I should’ve communicated tha’ with you instead of pullin’ away.”
silence filled the air between the two of you. he could hear the tick of a clock nearby. two ticks. three ticks. four. five.
“what do you want from me, then?” you spoke, and your voice was soft. he could hear the tremble in it— that old you slipping back in, and god he wanted to hold you.
he remembered loving you. he still knew what that felt like, even if was so long ago. and that love was creeping back in, that need to protect you coming back like a tidal wave.
“nothin’.” he said.
“nothing.” you repeated. he nodded.
the timer on your phone went off. five minutes, on the dot.
you clicked it off and looked at him. he was already moving towards the door.
“wait—” you called out to him, and as he turned back to face you, he could tell you hadn’t meant to. it had slipped out subconsciously, and he could see you fighting yourself on what your next words would be.
“I— I don’t forgive you,” you told him. “I don’t know if I ever will. but I— you don’t deserve to be alone. not after all you’ve done.”
he looked at you, the fingers of his hands twitching as he waited for you to speak again.
you took a deep breath and turned your attention to your feet. “I’m here. if you need someone to talk to about whatever. um— I—”
“it’s alrigh’, love. y’dont have to say anythin’ you don’t mean.”
you shook your head. “I do mean it. I admired you when we were together, y’know? you were everything to me— and that’s not something that ever fully goes away. I kinda hate you for everything you did,” you gave a small laugh. “but I don’t want you to suffer, okay? maybe we can— can get coffee or something next week. yeah?”
your eyes were glassy. he resisted the urge to reach for you. he was a protector, it was in his nature. he’d been too wound up in himself back then to realize that the trait he’d showcased on the battlefield should’ve applied to his home life, too. applied to his relationship. to you.
“yeah.” he nodded, his voice soft. he gave you a small smile. “tha’ would be nice.”
you nodded. he looked at you for a moment longer, taking in everything that had changed. but there was still the hint of that naive, youthful you, and that made him smile a little wider.
he turned and walked out the door.
————
author’s note:
muahahahaha ambiguous ending. do they get back together?? no?? do they ever get coffee?? it’s up to you!
this is ending one, keep a look out for ending 2 :)
#simon riley x gn reader#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#simon riley#john price drabble#john price fic#john price x reader#john price#captain price angst#captain john price#Simon Riley angst#angst#hint of fluff#cod mw2 fic#ghost cod#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#john price cod#john price x you#ghost x gn reader#ghost x you#ghost angst#ghost call of duty#ghost x reader
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Mafia au with Price perspective
Content: Implied Violence
John, for the life of him, can’t believe he ever ran SpecGru without you.
It’s a hit to his pride to admit it, certainly. That an outsider has discovered a small conspiracy within his own organization less than three months into employment. That, apart from even that, he’s never been less scattered, having someone right by his side remembering details, appointments, bits of information.
Morning smells like Earl Grey and your perfume now. Steam mixing with whatever you’ve spritzed for the day, his own little aroma therapy. Revitalizing after however late the previous night dragged him out.
In general, you’re like a breath of fresh air. A smiley little charm of color and delicacy in his world of saturated shadows, blood and brutality.
Clean-cut dresses with patterned tights, soft-knit scarves. Lace accents and modest stilettos. Thin, sparkly jewelry and smart makeup. The scent of you drowns out the lingering burn of gunpowder; or maybe just transforms it into something heady.
John lingers on your hair. Smooth ponytails, tight coifs, intricate braids. Likes when it’s loose enough to brush you shoulders and neck, a little bounce to it as you toddle in and out of his office.
You’re gorgeous, he knows it like a gun in his hand or the stench of fear in the air. Has encountered (and indulged) in more than his share of stunning women. Women with beautiful smiles, and bright laughter, and sweet voices. Cunning women, too. Women who could outfox all but his best on any given day.
You have all of that in spades, though you’re not the first.
The difference, he thinks, is your sincerity. You’re never anything but honest with him. Even when you maybe shouldn’t be. Not that you share your opinion every time you have one, but if he asks for it, you’ll answer without pulling punches.
Respectful, always. Polite. But scalpels are elegant tools as dangerous as any dagger. You’re not cold by any means, but you’re made of steel. Precise and implacable in some ways. Have never hesitated too look him in the eye and cheerfully explain why he’s wrong.
That, he knows, is a rare commodity.
“I understand this is time sensitive Mister Graves, but raising your voice is not going to open Mister Price’s schedule.”
Your voice goes silky when you get like this. A finely draped, overly pleasant “no” in each word. A wall is still a wall no matter how finely it’s painted.
You’ve just gotten your nails done again, glossy wine red tap-tap-tapping over your customized keyboard. Whatever Philip is saying on the other end does not seem to be impressing you. Soap and Gaz are trying not to snicker. You shoot them an amused look.
“Well, he’s booked every morning for the next two weeks,” you continue.
John is not, in fact, booked every morning for the next two weeks. There are two mornings with two hours open and you’re serenely looking at them on your computer screen. He doesn’t correct you, interested to see how this plays out. You know he hates Philip and are gleefully taking advantage of that fact.
“Well, Mister Graves, a lot of people have time sensitive issues to bring to Mister Price,” you explain, a touch condescending now. “I’m afraid I can’t reschedule them just because you have… a trip to Glasgow, is it?”
You don’t sound impressed. Neither is John. You clear your throat, arch your eyebrows at him. Put up three fingers. He nods.
“I can schedule you in on the 3rd in the evening. Your assistant said you’ll be back by then.”
You blink, an almost smug curve to your lips at whatever is said. A pleasant shiver runs down John’s spine. Philip will just have gotten in then - a full day of travel after whatever business he’s been up to will put him at a disadvantage.
“Well, I’m afraid Mister Price’s next availability won’t be until the… 8th. So shall we schedule something for the 3rd? I can always call if he has a cancellation.”
A pause. Your eyes narrow into a mean little smile at nothing in particular. Practically glowing with satisfaction. Without your attention on him, he shifts a bit.
“Of course, Mister Graves,” you hum. “I can forward your people the details. Have a lovely day now.”
Soap and Gaz start laughing the moment you hand up. You huff at them in amusement, shaking your head, then turn to John.
“Was there anything you needed, sir?” You ask, syrupy sweet.
John snorts and finally approaches your desk, leaning his hip against the edge as he crosses his arms. You tilt your head to give him your full attention, a stray curl falling against your jaw.
“Since you seem to be on rampage,” he says, “I need you to get a reservation for Friday at Muse.”
You blink at him. “Muse? Sir, that’s… don’t they book that place out months in advance?”
He smirks. “Just use my name, luv. I’m sure you’ll have the rest under control.”
You don’t look convinced, but you slide your sticky pad over - light purple clouds, now. With a pink glitter pen.
“How many and what time, sir?”
“Six for eight o’clock.”
You hum as you scrawl it down, pretty round letters that shimmer under the office lights.
“Before you go,” you say as you set the sticky pad aside. “I have those inventory logs from the docks - as well as the incident report from security that evening.”
You pluck up a neat stack of papers, held together by a star-shaped paperclip. Already he can see pink highlighter on the first page, a little memo-note summarizing information for quick review at the top. Somewhere within, you’ve attached a pink tab to something.
“I’ve highlighted anything in the original shipment that wasn’t found in the inventory log,” you explain, tapping at one of them.
He hums, skims the summary, then starts rifling through the papers. Will never admit how much he appreciates the thoroughness, even if he’s comb through every detail himself just to be sure nothing has been missed.
“Oh, also,” you add, spinning the glitter pen between clever fingers, “I think we should maybe set up a camera near that back entrance to the warehouse.”
He pauses. The back entrance where they do the more gruesome aspects of “business.” Odd that you would suggest that.
“Why’s that?”
You hum. “Well, I’m no narc, but I heard from someone who works over there that one of the shipping guys smokes weed with his cousin in that area. Maybe someone saw them and realized that’s a good way in.”
You shrug, leaning back in your seat again. The computer dings, calling your attention. John shoots Soap a glance, who nods and quietly steps out. You don’t seem to notice, clicking your tongue at whatever you see.
“Nicely done, luv,” he says, voice warm in his chest. You beam at him, pleased as always when he recognizes your hard work. “I’ll call if I need anything else.”
“Yes, sir,” you reply.
Twenty minutes later, you tap lightly at the open door to his office.
“Got the reservation!” You announce, a funny little smile on your face. “They were so nice about it too. What are you, some kind of mafia boss?”
He chuckles at your joke, shaking his head.
How did he ever manage all this without you?
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#cod#my writing#fanfiction#reader fic#oddly wholesome for a mafia au#mafia au#mafia boss price#assistant reader
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Imagine that the reader, Charles, Lando and Carlos randomly get the idea to go to Costco and try some viral food they saw on TikTok so when they go to buy the product, Charles grabs a separate cart and when the guys ask him why if they are only going to buy one thing, he says that the reader always ends up buying too many things and then has nowhere to put them so Charles is used to carrying an extra cart because he knows his girlfriend is a compulsive shopper.
retail therapy
★ : feat :: charles leclerc x reader ★ : genre :: fluff; crack ★ : word count :: 1.4k ★ : a/n :: i've had this in my drafts for so long. i'm so sorry love, i unfortunately suck and forget to schedule the post. thanks for the fun request <33
You found yourself in the expansive parking lot of a large store on an otherwise ordinary Saturday afternoon, accompanied by Charles, Lando, and Carlos.
The mission? To grab the viral food product that TikTok had unanimously declared a must-try: Shin Ramyun. It was supposed to be a simple in-and-out operation, but Charles had other plans.
”Why'd you grab an extra cart?” Lando asked, one eyebrow raised in confusion as Charles nonchalantly pushed the second cart alongside his own.
”We're only buying one thing,” Carlos chimed in, clearly perplexed.
Charles sighed dramatically, casting a knowing glance at you, who were busily scrolling through your phone to find the exact aisle where the magical ramen resided.
”You guys don't understand,” Charles began, shaking his head as if explaining a basic concept to toddlers before whispering so you wouldn’t catch it. ”Y/N always ends up buying too many things. It's like she has a radar for… unnecessary purchases.”
”Hey!” you protested, looking up from your phone. ”They're not unnecessary. They're uh- useful in unexpected ways!”
”Like the 50-pound bag of gummy bears?” Charles retorted, smirking when he saw your eyes widen. ”Or the industrial-sized jar of pickles you bought last time?”
”They were on sale,” you defended, crossing your arms. ”And you love pickles.”
”I love them in moderation, not in bulk.”
”You take that back, mister!”
Lando and Carlos exchanged amused glances, clearly enjoying the back-and-forth.
”So, what's the plan?” Lando asked, eager to get the show on the road.
”Simple,” you said, a mischievous glint in your eye. ”We go in, get the Shin Ramyun, and maybe... just maybe... see if there are any good deals.”
Charles rolled his eyes but couldn't suppress a smile. ”And this,” he said, gesturing to the extra cart, ”is why we can't have nice, quick shopping trips.”
You entered the store, greeted by the overwhelming scent of bulk goods and free samples. You navigated through the aisles, Charles dutifully pushing one carts, while Lando and Carlos alternatively pushed the other.
”Okay, the Shin Ramyun should be in aisle 12,” you announced, leading the way. ”But we should definitely check out the electronics section first. You never know when there's a sale.”
”We're here for food,” Charles reminded you, though his tone was more resigned than stern.
”And electronics,” you added cheerfully. ”Come on, it's right this way.”
Lando nudged Carlos, whispering, ”Ten bucks says our bill will be over two grand.”
”Mate, talk around five and you're on,” Carlos replied with a grin.
Sure enough, as you wandered through the electronics section, your eyes lit up at the sight of a massive flat-screen TV on sale.
”Look at this deal!” you exclaimed, practically bouncing with excitement. ”We could totally use a new TV.”
The boys behind you just shook their heads and to appease them, you slowly started, ”I’m just saying that the bonus I got last week has got to��”
”You guys have a TV,” Lando snickered.
”Yes, but not this TV,” you said, gesturing dramatically. ”Think about movie nights! Think about the sports games! Think about—”
”Think about where we're going to put it,” Charles interrupted, though he was already losing the battle. The allure of a good deal was strong, even for him. You could see it in his eyes that he was already almost convinced.
”Fine,” you huffed anyway, moving along. ”But we're coming back for it if we have room.”
Lando and Carlos exchanged looks, trying to stifle their laughter.
”You guys are a mess,” Carlos said, shaking his head. ”This is better than Netflix.”
”Just wait until we hit the snack aisle,” Lando added, trying to be discreet but you caught it. ”That's when things get really interesting.” He just gave you a nervous cheeky smile in return as you glared.
As you made your way to aisle 12, you inevitably got distracted by various items along the way. A giant jar of Nutella? In the cart. A set of high-end kitchen knives? In the cart. A year's supply of toilet paper? In the cart.
Charles dutifully followed, pushing the now significantly heavier cart with an air of resigned amusement. ”See?” he said to Lando and Carlos. ”This is why I grabbed an extra cart.”
Finally, you reached the aisle with the viral TikTok food product. There it was, Shin Ramyun, in all its spicy glory, stacked high and tempting.
”Here it is!” you said triumphantly, grabbing several boxes and adding them to the cart. ”Mission accomplished.”
”Can we leave now?” Charles asked, though he already knew the answer.
”Not yet,” you replied, a mischievous twinkle in your eye. ”We need to check out the outdoor section. Summer's coming, and we could use some new patio furniture.”
Charles groaned, but there was no real annoyance in it. He knew this was just how your trips to the store went. Besides, there was something endearing about your enthusiasm for finding deals and stocking up on... well, everything.
As you wandered through the outdoor section, Lando and Carlos tried out various patio chairs and loungers, providing a running commentary that kept everyone entertained. You found a particularly nice set that you insisted would look perfect in your backyard.
”Think of all the barbecues we could have,” you said, looking at Charles with pleading eyes.
Charles sighed, but there was a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. ”Fine, but this is the last thing. I mean it.”
”Promise,” you said, kissing him lightly while your friends fake gagged in the background.
You made your way to the checkout, carts overflowing with all manner of items. The staff recognized the boys and immediately started asking for photos and signatures as you guys waited for your turn.
That’s when Charles moved around and squeezed,”Gotta run to the toilet, I’ll be back in two?” He leaned down to whisper.
You shrugged and nodded your head, instead discussing Lando's new apartment with him. Failing to notice how Carlos was nowhere in sight either.
The cashier raised an eyebrow but didn't comment as she rang up the seemingly endless stream of products.
She was on the last few products when you heard Lando sigh under his breath and as you turned around, you saw Charles and Carlos carrying the box of the TV that you were eyeing.
Your own eyes widened as you jumped up and down and screamed,”No way, I love you!” Charles just snorted as skipped towards him.
He set the TV down and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a warm hug. ”I couldn't resist,” he admitted, his voice soft. ”Your excitement is contagious.”
You beamed up at him, feeling the love and warmth in his embrace. ”You always know how to make me feel loved.”
Charles kissed your forehead, his eyes twinkling. ”Cmon, babe. It’s like breathing for me now”
Lando and Carlos approached, carrying the last few bags and boxes. ”You two are adorable,” Lando teased, nudging Carlos. ”A bit nauseating, but adorable.”
As you left the store, pushing your heavily-laden carts towards the car, Lando and Carlos couldn't help but laugh.
”I owe you ten bucks,” Lando said, nudging Carlos.
Charles wrapping an arm around you. ”What do you think we can do with our old TV?” You smirked before looking over at Lando and Carlos who were loading the car.
”You know the way Lando bought a new apartmen—” Your boyfriend threw his head back and laughed before you could even finish.
”God, baby, I love you! Compulsive shopping and all.”
You smiled up at him, your eyes sparkling. ”And I love that you always bring an extra cart. Just in case.”
”So, what's the first thing we do with all this stuff?” Carlos asked, squeezing the last box into the trunk.
”Easy,” you said with a grin. ”We head home and have a fun game session with some Shin Ramyun and a movie on our new TV.”
Lando snickered. ”Sounds like the perfect end to a perfect shopping spree.”
”And if anyone asks,” Charles added with a wink, ”this was all part of the therapy. Sometimes, a little retail indulgence is just what the doctor ordered.”
”Retail therapy,” you said, snuggling into Charles as you drove off. ”It's cheaper than real therapy. Sometimes.”
Charles laughed, kissing the top of your head. ”And way more fun.”
(grid masterlist \ masterlist \ drop a request ) ©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.
#★ : my work !#f1#fanfic#formula 1#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc smut#max f1#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc f1#charles leclerc x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#charles leclerc one shot#charles leclerc x y/n#charles leclerc x you#cl16 fanfic#cl16#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 fic#cl16 x you#cl16 x y/n#cl16 one shot#formula one imagine#cl16 smut#charles leclerc imagines#f1 fandom#formula one
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Hey, Happy Halloween, would you consider writing for Rodimus/Hot Rod?
Yep, I absolutely did. It’s fixed now 😅
Attractive Today Pt 1
MTMTE Rodimus x Reader
• How can one very large mech just disappear when he wants to? Venting as he walks, Rodimus keeps searching for his missing co-captain. He’d assumed Megatron would be on the bridge, in his quarters, or in Rung’s office. Because all in all, the former warlord isn’t that exciting. He doesn’t hang out in Swerve’s or mingle with the crew unless made to. Having to hunt him down for a meeting is a novelty he doesn’t appreciate, because Megatron is hiding from him. And the former warlord calls him immature.
• The high pitched scream shocks him from his thoughts and he’s moving toward the sound, because that hasn’t been a Cybertronian and it had sounded terrified. Rung’s therapy human? Rounding a corner, he’s not startled to see Whirl, though Trailbreaker is a surprise. But it’s the human running from Whirl’s outstretched claws that snags his attention, because it’s the wrong human. He only has a moment of consternation before it spots him, shrieks at the top of its lungs, Whirl lunges, and it bolts. Face first into a wall and bounces right off. And then Whirl is doubled over laughing, reaching for it. “Oh, this one’s mine. It’s defective,” Whirl says, but Rodimus catches him by the wrist.
• “Absolutely not,” he says as he carefully lifts the limp form to cradle against his chassis. You’re out cold, head lolling against him as he glares at the other two. Trailbreaker’s already lost interest, heading in the direction of Swerve’s as Whirl straightens to his full height like he’s considering trying to just take you. “Where’d it come from?”
• “No idea. It just glitched into what sounded like very painful existence in the hall, saw us and ran screaming,” Whirl grumbles, claws opening and closing. “And I saw it first.”
• Primus, help him. “No,” he growls, looking around for Magnus or Megatron. Someone else to deal with this. All he does know is that he’s not just handing you over to Whirl, the mech is unpredictable at best and not exactly trustworthy. Ignoring that problem, he glances at your little form. Glitched into existence? Brainstorm. Groaning, he starts walking, aware of Whirl following. Somehow that maniac has to be responsible for this. They’d never figured out how Rung’s little human had gotten on the ship and it hadn’t been able to provide any answers, either. It had just came to on board and found Rung. “Go make sure there’s no more stowaways.”
• Whirl stares at him from his one optic, helm tipped disconcertingly. “If I find one, I’m keeping it and teaching it Cybertronian swears,” he mutters before walking away. “The good ones,” he calls over his shoulder and Rodimus isn’t sure if that’s a threat or a promise, but he doesn’t have time to figure it out, either. Heading to Brainstorm’s lab space shared with Perceptor, he lets himself in and the other mech looks up from where he’s bent over something. And immediately stiffens when he notices the human. “I have no idea where that came from,” he says just a bit too quickly. “And I can’t send it back.”
• “You knew this whole time where Rung’s human came from?” He demands, suddenly understanding why Ultra Magnus is always so exhausted. He can feel your little heart beating against his servos, the warmth of you, helping calm his frustration. “Why did you bring them here?”
• “It’s not like I was trying to. It wasn’t supposed to be able to move organic life. I was working on a sort of mini space bridge, a compact version, and things went a bit sideways through no fault of mine,” Brainstorm says in a tone that clearly implies that he’s also not dealing with the fallout from his mistake.
• “There’s just the two, right?” Rodimus growls, servos flexing before he remembers you and eases his grip.
• Brainstorm rolls his hand in a vague gesture. “That’s a bit unclear. There might be two on the Lost Light. There might be a few others. Maybe some not on the ship.” Brainstorm shrugs and Rodimus grits his denta. Reminds himself that as the co-captain, he shouldn’t punch his crew in the face. Even if he dearly wants to. Some not on the ship, what in Primus does that even mean?
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The Eye of the Hurricane [4] - Spark
A.N: Here’s the new chapter my loves! ❤️ I hope you’ll like it, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think, thank you! ❤️
Summary: A quiet night on the rooftop holds new promises.
Word Count: 3500
Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Series Masterlist
“I’m not saying my best friend in the entire world betrayed me, but I’m kind of tempted to change her name into Brutus in my contacts.”
“Just because she cancelled on this dinner you mentioned?”
“It’s a tradition at this point,” you said, leaning back on the couch. “Us and the Barnes family get together every two months, we’ve started it way before my mom passed away. I get that it’s the bachelorette party of her friend’s sister, but still!”
Dr. Cooper smiled calmly.
“Are you nervous because Bucky is going to be there?”
Your head shot up and you forced a nonchalant laugh.
“Bucky doesn’t make me nervous,” you said, the words coming out of your mouth in a rush and she raised her brows.
“Doesn’t he?”
“He annoys me,” you pointed out. “There’s a difference.”
“I can see that,” she said. “And why does he annoy you?”
Your eyes snapped up at hers and you shifted your weight on the couch.
“We have history.”
She hummed. “What kind of history?”
You nibbled on your lip, your stomach doing a flip at the memory but you pushed it to the back of your mind, rolling your shoulders back.
“Let’s change the subject.”
She thought for a moment, then put aside her notebook to with a sigh.
“Y/N,” she said. “We’ve been having these therapy sessions for three months now, am I correct?”
“Yes,” you said. “Sarah Wilson recommended you, she’s a good friend of mine.”
“And you were seeing Dr. Phillips before?”
“No offense to Dr. Phillips but I don’t think we were a good match.”
She nodded.
“That can happen,” she said. “But I just need to make sure you understand that if these therapy sessions are going to work, you will have to step out of your comfort zone sometimes.”
“Oh, therapy isn’t in my comfort zone,” you said with a wave of your hand. “You’d think it would be, after years and years of experience but…”
“I’m aware this is not what you want to hear but for us to make progress, you will have to be open with me,” she said. “Instead of changing the subject all the time.”
You smiled. “I don’t think me being completely open with you is in your best interest.”
“Why not?”
“Just a hunch,” you stated, your voice completely flat and she hummed.
“How about this?” she said. “Perhaps you could just try sharing something small with me. I’m not saying you have to share every single thing if you’re not comfortable with it, but…maybe something that happened recently and how you reacted to it?”
For some reason, “Someone tried to shoot me a week ago” didn’t feel like it was a great conversation starter so you leaned back, looking up at the ceiling to come up with something.
“I’ve recently found myself in sort of an… unideal situation,” you ended up saying and she nodded her head.
“That’s a wonderful start,” she said. “Can you elaborate?”
“Someone acted very rude towards me the other night when I was having dinner with a friend from college,” you said. “And I was annoyed at how inconsiderate it was to pull that shit when I was in the middle of something. Like what, you couldn’t wait an hour or so to do this on my way back home?”
“How did you react when it happened?”
“I didn’t get to react much because Bucky placed himself in that situation as well.”
“He was there?”
“Passing by,” you spat, “Anyway, he got involved and the situation was resolved pretty fast.”
“In disagreements like these,” she said. “It’s incredibly important that we make our stance and boundaries clear.”
You pursed your lips. “I don’t disagree.”
“So this inconsiderate person you speak of, would you say they know how you feel about the issue?”
You repressed a smile, then leaned back, crossing your legs.
“I think so,” you said. “I expressed very clearly how I felt about the issue and now, well…I’m very certain that they won’t do it again.”
*
Normally you didn’t mind these dinners mainly because you and Becca would have a lot of fun once the dinner was over. George and Winnifred had always been nice to you and Winnifred had more than once said you were family, seeing that you and Becca were inseparable even when you were little.
And you were hoping Bucky would be busy the whole night so you wouldn’t have to spend the night delivering snarks back and forth.
Ian sipped his wine while you texted Becca under the table, complaining about how she should have been there for the hundredth time since the morning before you lifted your glances from the phone.
“Becca gives her regards, everyone.”
“Oh thank you sweetheart,” your father said. “Will she not be joining us then?”
“There’s apparently her friend’s bachelorette party?” Winnifred asked, turning to you as if she wanted to be sure and you nodded.
“Her friend’s sister’s bachelorette,” you said helpfully and George smiled slightly.
“And when will we see your bachelorette, sweetheart?”
“George!”
“Not soon I hope,” your father said with a chuckle and you waved a hand in the air.
“Definitely not soon,” you said and Ian played with his fork.
“I don’t know,” he said with a scoff. “You keep dating civilians, one of them will ask you to marry them sooner or later.”
Your head snapped up and a silence fell upon the table. George and Winnifred exchanged glances and your father raised his brows.
“Y/N?”
You narrowed your eyes. “Ian doesn’t know what he’s talking about as always.”
“Oh is that right?”
“Our Y/N is a very beautiful girl,” Winnifred said as if trying to de-escalate the situation. “Civilian or not, I’m not surprised many people are interested.”
You offered her a thankful smile and turned to your father.
“I’m not dating civilians,” you assured him. “Or anyone right now.”
“But you know the rules,” your father said. “Any civilian you decide to date has to go through the background check.”
“With good reason,” George pointed out before taking his fork to his mouth and you hummed.
“Yeah yeah, I remember the whole speech.”
“Bucky and Becca got that speech as well.”
“They apparently needed it,” Winnifred said. “I mean do you remember Bucky’s ex girlfriend? Dot?”
That familiar bitterness of jealousy churned your stomach and you pursed your lips, then reached out for your wine glass.
“Were you here around that time sweetheart?” George asked you. “Or were you still away for college?”
The music was booming through the club as you walked back to the bar from the bathroom with Becca, and you looked around for your date as Becca motioned at the bartender, then turned her head when Steve touched her shoulder.
“Hi there.”
“Hey!” Becca kissed him on the cheek and you smiled at him.
“Hi Steve,” you said, taking your cocktail from the bartender. “Um, did you see my date anywhere?”
Steve shot you an apologetic smile. “I told him not to do it.”
Becca sucked on the straw of the cocktail, raising her brows and you frowned.
“What?”
“Bucky.”
Your jaw clenched and you gritted your teeth, putting your drink down.
“Where is he?”
“I just want to remind you that Sam has just bought this club, so he’d be pretty angry if you shot my brother tonight.” Becca pointed out, leaning sideways to Steve’s arm and Steve nodded his head.
“Wouldn’t look good for the club.”
“Where is he, Steve?”
Steve pointed upstairs. “VIP.”
You whirled around on your heels and stomped your way up the cantilever stairs, anger rushing through you. You made your way past his and Sam’s bodyguards by the door, then slammed the door open to step inside. Bucky was talking to Sam as you walked in while a gorgeous girl resting her head on his shoulder and Sam hissed in a breath.
“Uh oh,” he said. “Told you not to do it.”
“Hi Sam.”
“Hi Y/N.”
The girl lifted her head from Bucky’s shoulder as Bucky sat up straighter, and had the nerve to smile at you.
“Hi Charm.”
“Where is my date, Bucky?”
“I think he said he had something to do,” Bucky said, stealing a look at Sam. “Something urgent, right Sam? That’s what we heard.”
“Oh you’re not dragging me into this.”
“I’m sorry, who is this?” the girl asked and Bucky cleared his throat, then motioned between you and her.
“Y/N, this is Dot; my girlfriend.”
Your eyes snapped up to his, that familiar bitterness climbing up your throat but you managed to keep your expression flat.
“Dot, this is Y/N. She’s uh…she’s Becca’s best friend.”
Sam tilted his head to shoot Bucky a look of disbelief.
“You’ve just intimidated Becca’s best friend’s date into leaving the club?” Dot asked, confusion laced in her tone and Sam cleared his throat.
“They grew up together,” he explained to her. “Bucky tends to get overprotective of Y/N, kind of an old habit there.”
Dot pressed a hand on her chest.
“Aw that’s sweet!” she said. “So she’s like a sister to you, Bucky?”
Sam raised his brows as if trying to keep a straight face, then he shook his head slightly while you glared at Bucky.
“Well—” Bucky started but you cut him off.
“What did you say to him?”
“Nothing,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Just a warning. Don’t blame me if you keep dating people who are easily intimidated.”
“Who I date is none of your business.”
“You are Becca’s best friend so it makes it my business—also, you call that dancing?” he asked you. “He was feeling you up, he should be glad he walked out of here with his junk still attached to his body.”
You ran a hand over your face, then turned to Dot.
“Listen, I don’t even know you but you seem nice enough,” you said. “You probably deserve better than an asshole who thinks his dick is made of gold. You could do much better.”
With that, you walked out of the room and slammed the door behind you.
“No, they got together after I returned to the city,” you said. “Like a month after my graduation. I was here, she was pretty nice.”
“I didn’t like her,” Winnifred said and you let out a small laugh.
“And when was the last time you liked anyone he or Becca brought home?”
“When was the last time either of them brought someone I could like?” Winnifred asked back and you held up your hands with a grin, gesturing surrender.
“Daddy is the same,” you said. “But don’t worry, just in case things get serious with a partner, me and Becca came up with a great plan years ago.”
“What is it?”
“We’ll get everyone drunk,” you pointed out, coaxing chuckles out of them. “Should make things easier, at least for the first dinner.”
*
After dinner, you had excused yourself to go up to the swimming pool on the rooftop, so that you could enjoy the night. After their weekend house, this one was the one you liked the most among Barnes residences; it had such a lovely view of the night sky. You sipped your wine and leaned back on the lounge chair, heaving a sigh and keeping your eyes on the stars.
Becca was still partying with her friends so you were just going to enjoy some peace and quiet until it was time to go home. You loved spending time with George and Winnifred, that wasn’t the problem, but this evening you really weren’t in the mood for Ian’s bullshit. You knew very well that he knew about your date with Ethan, and though he hadn’t told your father yet, you were sure it wasn’t from the goodness in his heart.
Not that he or your father had anything to worry about. You had made sure that Ethan got a background check as your father wanted with all the civilians you dated, back at college and right before you decided to meet again two weeks back, you had done the same. It was safe, whether they approved him or not.
The sound of the door opening made you turn your head and as soon as your eyes fell upon Bucky stepping to the roof, you let out a groan.
“I thought you were busy.”
“I was,” he said, approaching you with a glass of whiskey in his hand before he sat down on the lounge chair beside yours and you stole a look at him.
“You missed dinner.”
“Mm hm. Sorry about that.”
“You never miss dinner.”
“Yeah well, wasn’t exactly my choice,” he said, making you turn a little so that you can look at him better.
“Why?”
“Overtime at the office,” he joked and you tilted your head.
“Trouble?”
“Nothing we can’t handle.”
“Does my father know?”
“He does,” he said as your phone vibrated on the small table beside you, making you check the screen.
From: Ethan
My coworkers dragged me to this café and I think you’d like it.
You smiled slightly and typed back your reply.
Well, the only way to be sure is if you invite me there the next time.
It didn’t even take him five seconds to reply back;
Lunch tomorrow?
You typed in a “Yes” and sent it, then turned the phone in your hand while Bucky lit a cigarette.
“Is that the civilian?”
“Ugh, not you too!” you whined with a grimace. “Everyone already gave me the third degree at dinner, you’d think I’m going to elope at any time.”
He shot you a light hearted glare. “They’re just worried about you sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me that—and also, you’ve dated one hundred civilians, I don’t see anyone giving you speeches,” you grumbled. “It’s so hypocritical, not to mention medieval.”
Bucky chuckled, then sipped his drink.
“Well…”
“I don’t know why everyone keeps acting like the possibility of me ending up with a civilian would be a disaster.”
“Because it would be.”
“No, you know what the disaster would be?” you asked him. “Me ending up with someone from the business.”
“Oh come on—”
“Pop out a few babies, pretend I don’t know about his mistresses and go to pilates for the rest of my life,” you mused. “Dream life right there.”
“It doesn’t have to be like that and you know that,” Bucky said. “Only an idiot would cheat on you, and in case it has escaped your notice, idiots don’t live long in this line of work.”
You suppressed a smile threatening to warm your face, and instead rolled your eyes at him.
“Not worth the effort,” you said as you downed your wine, then held out your glass in his direction. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards but he still grabbed the wine bottle on the floor to fill your glass.
“Thank you.”
“As the princess wishes,” he said and you heaved a sigh, then leaned back again to look up at the sky.
“What’s going on with the business?” you asked. “Are you and Stark still on bad terms?”
“We’re playing nice,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders. “Common interests for once.”
“I’ll pop the champagne,” you deadpanned. “He looks pretty busy; he and my father have a meeting next week as well.”
“Will Ian be there?”
You heaved a sigh. “I’d assume so.”
Bucky ran a hand over his face, then turned to you.
“Your father is not serious, is he?” he asked you. “He’s not actually going to name Ian as his successor?”
That familiar bitter taste burned your mouth but you pursed your lips together, then slipped a little on the lounge chair.
“Why are you asking me?” you asked. “Go ask him that.”
“I’m not going to do business with Ian, Charm.” Bucky told you. “If your father retires and names him the successor, that’s it.”
Your jaw dropped as you gawked at him.
“You cannot be serious,” you said. “Just because you don’t like him—”
“It’s not just that,” Bucky said. “Stark and I hate each other’s guts, but I still know he’s not going to break the truce or stab me in the back. Ian, on the other hand…”
“Ian is insufferable,” you said. “Trust me I’d know, I live with the guy. But breaking the truce is a death sentence, and he’s not an idiot.”
“I don’t trust him,” Bucky said. “Neither does Steve, or Sam.”
You massaged your temples with your fingertips. “Don’t put me in a position where I have to speak well of Ian.”
“You couldn't speak well of him if you tried,” he insisted before he took a sip of his whiskey. “Listen, I get why your father made the decision he made after your mother, but that was then. You can’t tell me you’re okay with this.”
You bit inside your cheek, swirling the wine in your glass.
“He promised it to me, Bucky,” you said through your teeth, your gaze fixed on your wine. “All those years ago. I was playing with dolls in the car and and my father pointed outside and told me that part of the city would belong to me when I grew up. So no, of course I’m not okay with the possibility of Ian being the successor.”
“Then take over.”
A small laugh climbed up your throat and you nodded at his whiskey glass. “How many of those have you had?”
“You know me better than that, I’m completely sober,” he said. “Why wouldn’t you take over?”
“Don’t you remember what went down in Massachusetts years ago?” you asked. “That family fight for the crown? They almost brought the whole city down with them, alliances got fucked, so many people died...”
“That was very different, there was no truce there.”
You clicked your tongue. “Still. It would devastate my father if I started a war in the family.”
“Ian is going to burn your father’s empire down,” Bucky told you, his piercing blue eyes locked in yours, making your heart skip a beat. “You think it won’t devastate him to watch that? If you want to be the next leader—”
“Of course I want it,” you cut him off, your whole body tense. “What I want changes nothing here.”
“Charm…”
“My father made sure I stayed out of the business since my mom,” you said. “Which was good strategy on his part, I admit. Ian on the other hand has many friends in the business and they’re completely loyal to him. He would not just hand that position to me, not when he thinks my father will name him as the successor instead of me.”
“He has his men, so what?” he asked you. “Compared to the support you would have if you wanted the crown? You have more allies than Ian.”
You blinked a couple of times, a small glimmer of hope warming your chest before you cleared your throat.
“There’s the code,” you muttered. “It’s family business. No one outside the family can get involved in the decision of who the next leader should be.”
A small smile pulled at his lips and for the thousandth time you couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was, but then you frowned down at your wine glass and put it on the small table, rolling your shoulders back.
Yeah. Enough wine for the night.
“But a powerful ally in the family would make everything much easier, wouldn’t it?” he asked and you scoffed a laugh.
“My hypothetical rise to power?” you asked. “Obviously. But either way, it’d be an uphill battle. What with the city and family and everything…”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he said without pulling his gaze off you and you felt your cheeks burn under his intense stare, but managed to keep your expression completely nonchalant.
“No?”
“Not at all.”
“And how’s that?”
Bucky swallowed thickly and downed his whiskey in one go before straightening his back. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought he was nervous but of course that was nonsense; Bucky was too arrogant to be nervous.
“Come on,” you taunted him. “Humor me, golden heir.”
“Well,” he said after a pause, turning his empty glass in his hand. “You have a point. You would have to get most of Ian’s supporters within the family, you would have to persuade your father, and considering Ian will not want to hand you the crown, that whole process would not go very peacefully. Me, Steve and Sam already support you, but the rest of the families could take some time and effort to convince. I guess some bloodshed in the city would be inevitable as well, it’d be a huge change, considering your father’s influence and power…”
You hummed. “Or?”
A smile curled his lips upwards and he took a deep breath.
“Or,” he said. “You could marry me.”
Chapter 5
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