#maybe I should sleep it off
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(I keep telling myself that I won't post it and then I don't and then I feel annoyed with myself but I tell myself that I shouldn't post it and then I don't and-)
#thinking about the times I used to stay inside for so long as a kid that I forgot how to act in public#what do you mean I can't play with the football in the store to test it out?#how does a crosswalk work again? do i have to wait until a car shows up?#weird times#or the first few weeks in school after summer break when you suddenly can't simply stand up and walk out when you're bored?#i don't know why I got this way#maybe lack of human interaction#no siblings few friends and parents who knew they could leave me alone and I wouldn't do anything stupid#just stare out the window stare at my wall play video games play with my dolls#always just there but also not quite#anyway#point is:#i haven't posted on this blog for so long and it feels like those times when I was younger and stayed inside my home for weeks at a time#i've been meaning to make a post that's been weighing on my heart for quite a while but idk how to word it without it sounding blame-y#not towards you guys#but-#i'm probably not making any sense#there's an odd feeling i've had towards bc and the fandom (generally and at shows not on here y'alls are sweethearts) since the end of last-#-year#and it only intensified in march when i went to the shows#I can't put it into words but alongside my hospital stay in july it has been very isolating and alienating#and it feels even weirder pretending like i don't have this feeling nagging me every time I reblog something and-#-go on with business as usual#....#the weather has been very grey in Germany and my end of year depression has been hitting hard#maybe I should sleep it off#but I've been trying to do that for almost a year now
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Not having a job sucks. I don’t make money and it feels like I’m doing nothing with my life
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figure skating set right now please. thanks
#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#GUYS I AM PUTTING OFF WORKING ON MY COSPLAY SOMETHING STUPID. im tireddddd i like sleeepingggff i want to play and drawwwww#after work I literally ate a giant bowl of mac n cheese and climbed into bed. lifestyle choices of a 9 year old#anyways i want figure skaitng set. bad. PJSK HAS A WEIRDLY LOW NUMBER OF ACTUALLY WINTERY SETS... like 3. kind of.#i have some thumbnail sketches but im kind of stumped on composition for them. my idea was a nene focus set#(IF HER NEXT FOCUS ISNT PHANTOM OF THE OPERA THEMED INWILL DIE. BADLY. THEYRE GOING TO AN OPER AHOUSE. PLEADBR)#originally my idea was for nene to be biting a medal i was very sold on it bc i love nenes competitive side#however her outfit is so nice i want it to also be part of the art .. its heavily inspired by that one iconic eunsoo lim dress#from her somewhere in time program iirc. im really undatisfied with emus dress tbh my origimal idea was to give it a phoenix look#but a lot of the firebird/phoenix skating programs have very sleek dresses and i want emus to be fluffy. the balance is hard ..#and since i want her program song to be once upon a dream from sleeping beauty i swerved to make it look a bit like auroras ? but again#it definitely feels like the weakest of everybodys ... maybe i just love her too much and want her to look the best. sorry wxs.#tsukasas outfit is supposed to look like a shooting star. easy. program music moonlight sonata 3rd movement like from dazzling light. easy.#actually i like takahashi daisukes moonlight sonata program its a medley of the 1st and 3rd movement.. i think the calm at the beginning#is best. maybe smth like that.. for his card inhad him doing a haircutter spin but again. the outfits good i want the outfit visible. damn.#ruis the one im very set on even now. girl why are you so phantom of the opera.#it has a lot of beautiful programs to reference but the outfit i didnt really have any solid reference i kind of just balled#my main idea was to make it look a bit like both christine and the phantom.... gender Fluid.#my yapfest... i should be SEWING!!!!!!!!#despite my yapping im not that well versed in figure skating i cant really distinguish jumps i just like it . and medalist#i only do normal skating. bc i played hockey for like 7 years LOLLLL inlove skating though Heart.
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This was going to be very short and cute but there was just too much cuteness so now it's going to be longer and cute. In this gif we have:
The tail end of Nick pushing Charlie off of him (which it took him longer to do than was strictly necessary).
Nick, in no hurry to get up, with his hands expecting and ready for more roughhousing (and his face showing happiness at the prospect).
Charlie noticing something and Nick - instead of doing the typical person response of looking towards whatever has caught his attention - just continuing to look at Charlie for a while.
#Nick: Get off!#Nick: No wait come back#Re points (1-2): I'm happy for future Nick that he gets to say “we're gonna have to fight” (over side of the bed for sleeping)#and then their tussling leads to kissing#Maybe I should make a post bringing together various times past-Nick's 'dreams' are realised by his future self#Re point (3): Nick continues to care more about Charlie's reaction (to something) than almost anything else#and maybe also finds Charlie distractingly pretty#Maybe I should make a post of those times too#Well - of the times Nick watches Charlie rather than what a person would 'typically' be looking at in the circumstance#Nick finds Charlie distractingly pretty/cute/adorable/endearing/good looking probably too often for one post#heartstopper#nick & charlie#charlie spring#nick nelson#heartstopper s1#nick x charlie#narlie#heartstopper netflix#heartstopper analysis#heartstopper mini moment
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Bram "how dare you doubt me" Stoker

#curious af how this will get explained to fair to say if bram knew fyodor before maybe before his execution or during his time sleeping he#thought of a way to overcome his ability should it happen to him? idk i am just thinking out loud since he is so long lived like fyodor#even though he was stuck without his body for so long and gives off the vibes of laziness and not caring#maybe he was just quiet and contemplative and just whiny lol#bsd spoilers#bsd ch 116#bsd bram#bsd#bungou stray dogs
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I love you peri-weri one of these days I’ll learn how to draw you consistently
I think what we need for season 2 is some good ol perirep slapstick I need to see them scrapping it out like looney tunes
#fairly oddparents a new wish#perirep#peridale#peri fairywinkle cosma#fop irep#dale dimmadome#timmy turner#sammy sweetsparkle#juandissimo magnifico#my art#in case it wasn’t clear. perirep is my fav#but what’s the ship name for irep peri and sammy they’re a funny trio#poor sammy is he the third or third-wheeling no one knows#they’re all just drunk college kids in that#juandissimo isn’t trying to be weird he’s just got nothing going on in his head all the meat is in the muscles#but peri is having a gay panic#that’s got to be weird. your mom’s hot ex constantly ripping his shirt off like hm maybe I’m gay#I’m so normal about Dale saying ‘come to daddy’ what are you talking about#just realized this is the first time I’ve ever drawn timmy let alone fairy timmy#sorry timmy turner I love you#fop a new wish#fop fanart#okay it’s after 1am now though I should sleep#the art overtook my brain I had to do this before sleeping#poor dev losing his godparent to his terrible dad#realistically I think peri would probably hate dale. but the shipping part of my brain is too intrigued to fully dismiss it
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This is something I've only seen on the game's TV Tropes page, but what do you think of the idea that Curly's less than perfect decisions were because he was sleep deprived?
I think it’s one of the factors on many.
To say it’s the biggest reason pushes past a lot of stuff and other concepts but I do think his “zoning out” and slow reactions were extrapolated by not sleeping enough. We can kinda infer he used the coffee machine to supplement the sleep he missed despite it keeping him up worse. Losing that in tandem with the last weeks stressors is like anxiety on top of caffeine withdrawal, but the machines been broke for a while so he’s likely over it. So I do think he was sleep deprived but it was more so the beginning stages of fog, irritability and struggles with organizing thoughts.
Like I put his sleep deprivation in one of the faults of capitalism and Pony Express when it comes to things Curly couldn’t handle vs just didn’t Janel well, it was out of his control. Like he is the Captain but also the main pilot, idk if yall know but 5 hours is not enough for like a nice day of relaxing let alone flying a space craft. It’s not just sleep deprivation but exhaustion from the monotony of work at play. If his psych eval is any indication he has been running on autopilot for a while, doubly so if we consider that sort of dissociative hallucination before Jimmy’s eval as another dash on his not all there ness.
A weird design of work relaxation balance from P.E as I feel like it makes accidents more likely to happen, but if that includes more reasons to dock pay then I can see why they made it that way.
#like the fact any of them were aware enough to do their jobs is crazy cause like they all do the entirety of their one position#like everyone should atleast get an assistant or something#just for trade offs and another 2 hours at least of sleep like no wonder everyone spiraled so fast#only 5 hours of sleep things keep going wrong like yeah I’d think we’ll time to hide the gun too and also like#holy shit maybe if I just mediate and talk nothing bad will happen cause like#I’ve stayed up too long and kept losing my phone that was in my hand cause I was only seeing it as a flashlight#like it’s not an excuse but another reason everything was fucked and doomed#mouthwashing#anon#ask#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mw#again fuck that horse and fuck that ship
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#yeah i think i should stop drawing them#you know in my mind they chat together they badger the medic they bring bentos to eat with medic they drag the medic to bed#they hug they sleep they fuck they exchange their oath in latin#like everything#aaaaaaaaaaaand#i realize im just treating them with complete disregard of the whole 2077 world-building and general setting#and is just viewing them as medic x soldier with nice looking helmets and very little background setting of this whole insurance corporatio#which imo is basically desecration of them#especially if im gonna make a whole fucking series of comics of them instead of some portrait or something that doesn't just-#-break even more things as the plot goes on#(and generally being stupid like why is the medic reading just plug a cable in their head okay but i already made the dialogue so fuck it)#soooooooooooooooo#(throws in dumpster)#idk maybe ill take a few days off and see if im coming back with way too much 2077 knowledge or just straight up forgetting them#or just. keep. desecrating them. that's a choice.#they're still cute tho ngl#cyberpunk 2077#trauma team#my art
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"[high pitched and tinny] Let’s dive in. Let’s dive in. It’s time to dive in. Get ready to [audio distorts and slows] dive. Diiive. Diiiiie…" (The Road to PALISADE 20: City Planning Department)
so that's what i've been working on for the past 2 weeks! i wanted to draw something for this intro ever since i first listened to it (as a companion piece to my other gur drawing, though it of course ended up being way bigger in scale), but it only really gripped me about halfway through PALISADE ep 18. the next morning after that i listened to this narration on repeat for about 45 minutes and then made a big sketch on 4 sheets of paper at my desk at work.
anyways, i haven't listened to the new episode yet but i think i'm probably ready for whatever they're gonna throw at us with the next sortie. i'm gonna believe, against it all, in millennium break. for gur
(i recommend listening along while scrolling! + transcript btw. if anything is hard to read)
#road to palisade#road to palisade spoilers#palisade#fatt#friends at the table#gur sevraq#<- yuore everything btw.#long post#and good god. it sure as fuck is#rosa art#the full file for this? that i had to split up? its 30000 pixel tall. thats 218cm#im so proud of this & it was a ton of fun. ooohhh my free floating panels i love them#i posted about my progress (theres some earlier sketches n lineart too) on cohost to be like well.#maybe i wont talk so fucking much on the actual post but noooo i cant shut up#love that for me.shoutout if you read all this#if you find a typo please. dont even mention it#a fun thing about this is that i almost know the intro by heart now. theres like 3 lines i get stuck on but mostly. its all there#ill link the cohost if i reblog this again. personally i think its interesting stuff but i love to hear myself talk abt shit i make soooo#anyways i have art class tomorrow & should sleep soon : ) but im happy im finally able to show this off. it rules sooo much
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i have seen a lot of posts about lucanis & illario lately, that specifically call out that some of the things Lucanis says about him are kinda mean. usually in context of 'yes what illario did was fucked up but they BOTH went thru the fucked up training and lucanis says shit to him too' etc etc. and i'll be honest as someone who does have a contentious/estranged/very-low-contact sibling relationship. everything lucanis said came off as super mild to me and they should both be WAY nastier to each other actually. yes even when you include their dynamic in wigmaker job which was both more lighthearted And heartfelt. but like if you want realism they should be going from that to 1 minute later annoyed enough to break out the super cutting remarks dragging up the worst things the other has ever done/said, specifically becuause they know it will hurt the other most. then i would believe it more tbh.
#idk just personal late night musing as i fail to Sleep#i know the idea of those posts is ''both of them are kinda fucked so why does illario get all the blame (besides caterina)''#well illario tried to have him Killed and frankly i am astounded lucanis keeps it to simply 'its easy to look good next to him'#and 'could you?' or whatver that other one on the roofs is#yes even for CROWS the assassin group and all#idk man. if my sibling and i are in each others presence for more than a couple hours at family things i literally have to go punch walls#maybe if we got to see lucanis & illario actually have it out i would feel more ways about it with everyone else#but i'll be honest it came off to me as just pretty bland#been trying to mentally get more into illario bc he's all over my dash these days but i only see meta about how he could be Healed#and nothing bout how they should say the worst things in the world to each other and then deck it out. which is what i would like to see#so alas#ramblings#jade plays dav#lucanisposting#lucanis dellamorte#illario dellamorte#dragon age: veilgaurd#datv spoilers#da4 spoilers#idk i just cant get worked up about lucanis' lines like that. they're so toned down. compared to what i am used to in Real Life lol#i do think the writers tried!! i just think it’s uhhhhh one of those dynamics that is really hard to capture unless you’ve Experienced it#i just think the lines we hear in game would be Nothing to illario compared to what they have assuredly already shouted at eaxh other in the#past
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u know when youre bored of everything and it feels like theres a hole that youre trying to close but it just keeps sucking everything up
#pissing me thefuck OFF#Ive tried everything ive gone for swims ive eaten snacks and drank water I went for a walk#every time I pick smth up it jumps to smth else like some sort of itch I cant scratch#and stuff that doesnt take a lot of energy like going thru pinterest reading old messages playing Tetris#I haven’t even listened to music in almost 2 weeks wtf. I cant sleep#I wanna talk to ppl but smths stopping me like I get exhausted before I can even come up with smth to say#like oh I have free time I should try this game someone recommended me its already on my ds but I cant even get past the menu#is this some sort of creative block or smth. sigh#maybe i wanna play with someone but it feels like a huge list of tasks and commitments that I can’t keep up with#and I don’t want the other person to have to read between the lines being wishy washy abt it even though I asked to play#yapping#diary#ffffffuuuck
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EDIT: just realized that i should clarify something. what i meant by "feel bad for nie huaisang :(" was that jiang cheng felt bad for nie huaisang after nie mingjue died, because having to assume the burden of sect leadership while still grieving was something jiang cheng understood as well.
that poll option does NOT mean "jiang cheng thinks nie mingjue is abusing nie huaisang" or whatever. i should have made that clearer and i'm only realizing now my phrasing was in fact Dogshitte. i'm sorry.
#mdzs#jiang cheng#nie mingjue#do you ever think about how. after wwx fucked off with the wens. all the other sect leaders started grilling jiang cheng#who wasn't even there when wwx threatened everyone?? he had to figure out what happened from context#judging from the narration it seems like that was the first night in a long time he was able to go to sleep on time too#instead of pulling another all-nighter. and then this shit.#and when jc tried to argue that he and wwx did owe the wen siblings a debt for saving them#nmj shut him down immediately. “their family killed your parents. where is your filial duty?” an entirely reasonable view given the setting#but also. damn. rip. jc you were a teenage leader with zero experience. no one should expect you to stand up to them. sorry dude#if i were jc that would color my perception of nmj and the rest of them for a while#also if i were jc. and i was co-raising my only nephew with my co-sibling-in-law i dont know that well#and his sworn brother flipped his shit and yeeted him down the stairs. well i would be a lot more worried about my nephew's safety#given that my nephew is spending half his time in jinlintai!!! jiggy keep chifeng-zun away from him!!!!!#who knows maybe they covered up the stairs incident. even though it happened in broad daylight.#yanyan polls#these tags ended up being kind of negative so i think ill forgo the ship tag this time
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I got to say I really liked the episode (despite only having watched exu calamity of the exu series) and I think maybe Matt needed a breather after so many fast paced, lore filled episodes.
however, I am kinda bummed that the fcg processing has been put on hold for (at least) two weeks now and that means that, despite them being great actors that truly merge with their characters at the table, their reactions will be much less raw and there’s a chance some of them will forget tidbits of information, emotions they felt when it happened because they (as role players) will have had time to process it out of the game and it might create a dissonance in the game. tbf I kind of felt the difference even between the end of ep 91 and the beginning of 92 but it made sense because technically they were still running and couldn’t afford to process. idk. I have hope that we’ll still see that raw emotion, but I fear it won’t be as impactful as it could’ve been, especially if they’ll have to put the “reporting for duty” hat on immediately when they get to the camp
I think being a little bummed about the sort of unexpected hiatus on the Bell's Hells/Post F.C.G processing is super understandable! As someone who also really did enjoy the Crownskeepers return (hello im still yelling about Opal internally), I'm kind of in the same camp of being kind of thrown/disappointed about not getting to really dig into/sit with the Bell's Hells post-F.C.G loss. Like, LOVED the Crownkeepers, fascinating second half, kind of meh on the specific timing.
I'm holding my reservations about whether they're going to have to keep running/moving once we return to their portion of the story, since hey, until it happens (or doesn't!), we don't know, so I don't feel like getting too in my head about it until then.
That said! I do think that in general the cast puts characterization and staying true to the emotions of the character/story as a very high priority within the campaign. I think you're right that it won't be the exact same as if they had done a big emotional blowup/goodbye/processing scene in the same ep where they lost F.C.G, or immediately after. I don't think that means it has to be less impactful, just that- yeah, they'll have had more time to actually think/process it.
But they're also all professional voice actors who have, IMO, thus far shown how much they think about the inner lives of their characters and enjoy really digging deep into the emotional/interpersonal aspects of roleplay.
My assumption (my hope?) is that with additional time to think about + process a devastating/deeply emotional loss for their character(s), they'd choose to lean into that more, and not less. It wont be the same as the immediate raw reactions, thats true! But i dont think that means it has to be less impactful, even if they (as people) have had more time to process, and will be choosing how their characters, fresh off the loss, react. I dont think thats a guarantee it will be less impactful/emotional (maybe the additional thinking would actually enhance the reactions being true/insightful to the characters vs gut reactions from cast), but it will be different.
But if the cast chooses to lean into the heartbreak/emotions, and the circumstances of the BH in the upcoming ep enable it, I'm sure they can still kick my ass (emotionally), timeskip or not.
In general, I'm cautiously optimistic about what could happen next! Even if I don't love the timing thus far. I think there's still plenty of ways for me to get what I'm hoping for wrt F.C.G/BH. :] There are plenty of ways for me to get let down too, probably, but until it happens, or doesn't, I'm opting to not get too doomery about it. We'll see.
I uh. Hope that helps? A bit? Being bummed about specific things you were hoping for being off the table is totally reasonable. just hoping to lend an alternate way of viewing it, if desired.
(i wrote the sentence: "don't be lamenting your chickens before they hatch" and then went "what the fuck" out loud. i spent 4 hours at work today just doing systems diagramming and my brain is fried. clearly. keeping this here for my own entertainment.)
#im kind of tired im sorry if this makes no sense lmao. i appreciate the ask! sorry if my answer comes off as flippant. i do get where you're#coming from and wanted to share how im personally choosing to approsch it haha#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e92#bell's hells#spar speaks#ask away!#speculation#fcg#imo its like how we probably wont be getting situations like marisha shellshocked live tweeting after jester saved beau with a cupcake#but we get the cast doing sneaky little tweets before the episode airs but after theyve already experienced it#different for sure. doesnt have to be worse. thats more up to personal opinion i think#i fully wrote that chicken thing and went. thats the idiom right. and then stared at it and went. ... no. its not.#should i have waited to answer this ask? maybe. but oh well.#i should probably get some sleep though
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Once again I have seen somebody writing Gwydion as a good guy and I NEED PEOPLE TO STOP. Pls. Begging. Literally begging at this point. I'm on my KNEES. He is The Worst. This is why I think I fuckin loathe him so much because people don't RESEARCH HIM. I'M DJDKDKDKDDKDK They just see the words 'magician,' 'trickster god,' and 'the light to the family of Llŷr's dark' and think huh he's a cool guy. He is HEINOUS.
#look its 6:30 am and I have not slept#and I have no doubt the author has good intentions but. No#lloyd alexander i understood. yhat was Necessary. but u think he'd be entrusted with thr pair dadeni? THEE CAULDRON OF REBIRTH?!#are u CRAZY?????#i wouldn't trust him with my pet dog let along a cauldron THAT CAN LITERALLY BRING DEAD ARMIES BACK TO LIFE#can u hear that? its the sound of me weeping profusely over this.#I know other interpretations are all fine and dandy and that but it just seems ooc?????#welsh mythology#the mabinogion#welsh myth#mabinogion#the mabinogi#y mabinogion#y mabinogi#welsh folklore#arthuriana#gwydion ap dôn#also let us not forget he literally started a war for some pigs. (and also so his brother could be a cunt.)#man's not nice. i don't fhink u should sand off his band qualities to make him a fuckin hero.#and if u wanted a hero who guards thr cauldron then BRÂN IA RIGHT THERE#i realise I sound awfully gate-keepy and i don't mean to be. but like sometimes I just get tired of stuff like this#gwydion has perhaps one redeeming quality and that depends on ur mileage.#i just... yeah#i love reinterpretations but sometimes I'm like did u do research? unless they're going for a start of darkness thing which maybe#anyway my rant is done. i will actually sleep for oh two hours now.
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i have now stayed up until midnight doing fandom related things on a day when i have to get up in the morning.
once again.
#cherik#i have not gotten sleep since the obsession hit#IN AUGUST#sighhhh#i have to sleep#i must go to bed#i need to get up#plug in my computer#turn off the fairy lights#put on sleep mask#and actually go to sleep#sorry that's my troubled brain breaking things down into small manageable steps#because that's what we do when we're feeling overwhelmed 😁#goodnight everyone#if you're not asleep and you should be go to bed#you can rest now#that cherik fic will still be there in the morning#and you'll be awake enough to actually remember reading it#...maybe
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Pretty sure my little man has a case of abundism affecting the marble tabby coat under all those white splotches
#random pet post#it really is a weird coat pattern#I'm never sure if I should describe him accurately as a white marked tabby or as the first impression people get of a black and white cat#love his little backward C's#I got all my other pets around the same time and they've been dying off one by one this last year or so#I'm down to just this 4yo kit and Bruiser#actually I'm not done whispering in the tags#pretty soon it's just gonna be me and this terrible little man against the world#and he gives me such weird problems you cannot even begin to imagine#took to the leash and harness without a bit of difficulty but I can't take him anywhere cuz he freaks out about people 500ft away#really difficult to find sitters for him cuz he gets so stressed about changes and waits until 3am to SCREAM#he's 17 lbs and wants to sleep on my chest 14 hours a day#took him on a work trip a week or 2 ago cuz of aforementioned petsitting troubles and some kind of wire got crossed#so instead of stress peeing in my laundry basket he now humps the nearest blanket covered limb to alert me of problems#he got scared of his water dish recently and is only now starting to get over it after 3 weeks of drama#he knocked it over last night and humped my leg while I tried to sleep to try and convey to me that he was thirsty#I'm thinking of getting a second cat and just fucking hoping that it'll be normal and maybe Prompto can target it for some of his weirdness
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