#maybe I should go rewatch movie 4 again

[aghostuponthemoor]

Man, every time I think the detective conan movies can't get any worse, the new year proves me wrong.

[stevesherdaddynowlover]

pet names and looped pinkies [s.h.] 18+

hiiiii so i've never written for steve but just did a stranger things rewatch and have felt...inspired. i hope you enjoy! pls feel free to send suggestions or concepts or anything :) thanks for reading!

masterlist

summary: steve is your best friend and you have a crush on him and that's fine until one day it's not and the next thing you know you can't think or speak or breathe around him. (steve harrington x fem!reader)

warnings: loooots of pet names, fluff, pining,cursing, kissing, m masturbation, dirty talk, handjob, spitting, tiny bit of cum eating :))) 18+ ONLY!! MDNI

wc: 6.4k

part 2 here!!!!

You and Steve had been friends for quite some time now. 

Going from quietly watching him throughout high school, maybe quietly crushing on him too, to fighting monsters and trying to survive could do that to people. Make them friends, that is. 

The crush you’d been harboring on Steve didn’t go away, oh no if anything it had gotten about ten times worse in the time you’d spent growing close. That Steve you knew in high school was long gone. The, for lack of a better word, asshat you had come to blush over had turned into a protector. A funny, endearing, unnervingly hot protector that made your tummy flutter and your palms sweat. 

It didn’t help that he seemed completely unaware of your feelings, or that the things he did made your heart race and your cheeks turn pink. Linking his pinky with yours while you strolled around town, letting his thumb mindlessly rub circles on the little sliver of your stomach that was visible during movie night, giving a little tug on your hair when you said something cheeky, letting his dimple pop out when you teased him. 

And the pet names. God, the pet names! Maybe he did know! Maybe he wanted to torture you and make you squirm. They slipped from those perfect pink lips so effortlessly it kind of pissed you off. 

“Hey honey, how was work today?” 

“Sweetheart we’re gonna be late for the movie and I will not be blamed when we don’t have time to grab your snacks.” 

“Any chance you wanna pick up an extra shift and spend some time with me? What do you say, pretty?” 

He had the hair, the smile, the charm. You imagined it would be hard for anyone not to fall madly in love with him. It was surely hard for you! Steve did a good job of turning you to mush. It was hard to think around him, even harder to not think about him. 

Which is why you’re really struggling now, smushed on a far too little couch with 3 other people, your thigh pressed so tightly against Steve’s it’s making your head spin. It’s movie night, a tradition you’ve picked up and held onto tightly amidst all the craziness that happens in your small town. Steve is on your left, stuck between the arm of the couch and you. Robin is on your right with Eddie next to her and Jonathon next to him. A couch meant for 2, maybe 3, but all 4 of you packed on while the rest of your friends lounge on the floor or a chair, eyes all focused on the screen. 

Almost everyone’s eyes are focused on the screen. 

You’re staring straight ahead, sure! But while a movie that you now can’t even remember the name of is droning on, all you can think of is how your hip is touching Steve’s. Or how his pinky has somehow found yours again and they’re looped together on his lap. Or even worse, how he’s got his head resting on your shoulder and you can feel little puffs of his breath hitting your neck everytime he laughs. 

It’s driving you crazy, your hand not in his twitching by your side and your chest rising and falling a little faster than it should be while watching a comedy with your friends. You’re so distracted it takes you a few minutes to realize that Steve is no longer watching the movie, but is now focused on you and how uncomfortable you seem to be. He gives a small tug to your pinky, drawing your eyes to meet his and you’re so overwhelmed with him right now you could cry at the furrow in his brow and the small pout he’s wearing looking at you. 

“Y’alright, baby?” You can see his genuine concern at the state of you but all you can focus on is trying not to let a small whimper through your lips as you hear him call you baby. Not being able to look at him for more than a few seconds you drag your eyes away from him, a small huff leaving you while you shake your head, mainly at yourself. “I, uh m’fine. I’m fine.” Neither of you are convinced, you know that, but you can’t find it in you to care at the moment when all you can think about is taking his bottom lip between your teeth. 

He studies you once more, eyes taking you in quickly as he reaches up to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear. His hand lingers around your neck a second longer, two fingers giving you a little pinch before he’s drawing his hand back to his lap. You find yourself staring far too long at his hand, wondering what it would feel like if he swiped his thumb over your bottom lip. Or if it would be as good as you imagined to have him slip that same thumb past your lips, pressing down on your tongue, wearing that same smirk you’ve seen a thousand times.

Fuck fuck fuck. You’re so fucked. 

As soon as the thoughts come, they’re gone because the next thing you know you’re using his and Robin’s thighs as leverage to jump up from the couch, turning to face everyone with red cheeks and a forced smile. 

“So I, uh, I gotta go! Just remembered mom wanted me home early tonight, some, uh, some family thing going on. Yeah that’s it. Family thing!” Everyone is staring, eyes wide with confusion written all over their faces. You love movie night, never miss it let alone leave early. 

You don’t give anyone the chance to question you before you’re bouncing up the stairs trying to pull your shoes on as quickly as possible. You know he’ll be right behind you, asking you what’s wrong or offering a ride home. You both know you’re full of shit but you can’t find it in you to care right now, too focused on getting away from him before you do something crazy like kiss him. 

Steps away from the front door you think you’ve made it. Can almost feel the relief of the cool breeze cooling down your skin that seems to be burning up from where Steve was touching you. You're so close, less than a foot away when you realize you weren’t quick enough. 

A hand wraps around your forearm, a large calloused hand that you’d know anywhere. Shoulders slumped in defeat and you turn to face him, not all the way because you don’t think you could handle it, but enough to acknowledge his presence. “Harrington, I gotta go. You know how my mom is, this’ll be held over my head for weeks if I’m late.” Lies. All lies. Your mom fully expects you to sleep at Robins tonight. He’s quiet for what feels like hours but is really only seconds before he speaks, “Let me give you a ride then. You’ll be home in less than 5.”

Now you know that cannot happen. You cannot be in his car that smells like him. You cannot watch the way his hands grip the wheel, and you know you won’t be able to look away. You cannot be locked in a car with him where you know he’ll try and figure out why you’ve been acting so weird tonight. And honestly you just cannot be around him right now without feeling like you’re going to faint. 

“No, no, don't worry about it, it’s a quick walk and I could use the fresh air! I’m feeling a little…off right now anyways so I wouldn’t mind being alone. Go finish the movie! Love you, see you, have fun!” And before he can react or try to argue with you, reaching up on your tiptoes you plant a quick kiss to his cheek, lips tingling as you turn and run out the door, hoping to god or whoever is listening that Steve doesn’t come after you. 

What you don’t see as you’re running down the sidewalk is your best friend standing in the doorway with his hand hovering over his cheek where you just kissed him and a blush crawling up his neck as those quick seconds play on a loop in his head for the rest of the movie. 

 ****************************************

It’s been a few days since movie night. The night you’re refusing to think about but also the one you can’t seem to get out of your head. More specifically the sound of Steve calling you baby and the feel of his fingers brushing against your throat. 

Well you’ve tried not to think about it. 

You’re not sure why this is happening now. You’ve liked him for as long as you can remember so why all of a sudden do you feel like panting when your skin touches his? Why now are his little smirks and pet names enough to bring you to your knees? Over the years you’ve done good, so good, at keeping yourself together in front of him, letting his comments and flirting roll off your back. But now…now you can’t be in the same room without wanting to tug on his hair or leave marks on his chest or feel so desperate to taste him that it drives you insane. 

You don’t know what caused this switch to flip but it fucking sucks. It sucks because besides all of that, he’s still your best friend. Yeah, it’s ungodly how hot he is but he’s also still the guy who buys you your favorite ice cream when you’ve had a rough day, who goes to see scary movies with you when no one else will because you’re the only one that likes them. He’s saved you, cared for you, loved you for a few years now and honestly that just makes it worse! 

He’s mouthwatering AND a good guy. Fuck him for that. 

In the few days since you’ve seen him he’s called. 11 times? Maybe more. And you’ve been conveniently in the shower or asleep or anything else your mother can make up while you try and figure out what you’re going to say to him. The problem with this is that the longer you avoid him, the more awkward and hard this is going to be. 

So when you wake up today, 4 days after movie night, you decide it’s time to be a big girl and talk to him. Not about your feelings, god no! But it is time to at least try to be normal around him and to stop avoiding him. You already know he’s gonna look like a kicked puppy, big brown eyes staring down at you while you try and justify not talking to him for days. You’re fucked. So fucked. 

Walking downstairs you hear the phone ringing and your heart drops. Maybe you’re not ready for this. Maybe your family can just move! That should work. You’ll miss everyone but honestly this seems like your best option at this point. 

Your dad is gone for the day, your mom is standing at the counter with her purse on her shoulder like she’s about to walk out the door with her mouth open, ready to give Steve yet another excuse to why you can’t talk to him. But you’re brave. You’re a big girl who can handle a phone call with your best friend. Your hot best friend you're madly in love with and want to climb like a tree. 

Your hand is out and reaching for the phone before you can talk yourself out of it, a sigh of relief leaving your mother as she practically throws it at you, running for the door before you change your mind. It’s by your ear for a good few seconds before you hear him, his voice raspy and deep so you know he’s just woken up and it makes your whole body buzz. 

“Hello?” 

It’s now or never. Never sounds nice. “Hey! How ya been? How’s it going? How was the movie?” The questions pour out of you so quickly you’re not sure he can even understand what you’re saying but you hold your breath and wait anyway. 

“How’s it going? Are you kidding me? Fuckin’ Christ! You’ve taken about 12 showers in 4 days and couldn’t be bothered to talk to me, why don’t you tell me how it’s going.” So he was upset. Totally fair. 

“Don’t be mad at me, please.” It was the first thing that came out of your mouth and you knew it was stupid but you couldn’t help it. He deserved to be mad at you, to yell and cuss and whatever else he deemed fit. But now that you had heard his voice again for the first time in days, the thought of him being upset with you made you want to cry, even though you had done this! 

You heard him take a deep breath and knew he was running his hand through his hair, tugging on the ends the way he always did when he was stressed. “M‘not mad, sweetheart. I mean, maybe a little but I was more worried! That something had happened or I had done something or…I don’t know. Was just worried sick and…god I just fuckin’ missed you.” 

Had you mentioned that you were fucked? His words hit you a ton of bricks, any thoughts you had about moving on or maybe distancing yourself gone in an instant. Because he was worried. And he missed you. He fuckin’ missed you. And god you loved him so much it hurt, so much you could feel it in your fingertips and toes like little zaps of electricity when you thought of him or heard his voice. 

You were gone for Steve Harrington. 

“I..m’so sorry, Stevie. I missed you too, so much and I’m so sorry and I’m just…I’m sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong, you never do! I’ve just been a mess and my minds been a mess and I thought some time to myself would help me but really it's just..it doesn’t matter. What matters is I’m sorry and I missed you.” 

“S’okay, bunny. You alright? Can talk to me about anything, you know. I’m not…I know I’m not always the best at this stuff but I’d be good for you. I’ll listen to ya all day, do whatever I can to help you. Wanna come over? Movie night just the two of us? I’ll order you pizza and get you extra buttery popcorn and some ice cream, promise.” 

The thought of being alone with Steve sends red lights flashing through your brain but when he sounds so…god when he’s saying all the right things in a voice you’d dare describe as whiny you can’t help but to want to drop everything and all but crawl to him. 

So at the expense of your sanity you agree quickly, promising you’ll be there by 8 o’clock and hang up the phone before he can call you sweetheart or bunny again running up the stairs to take the coldest shower you’ve ever taken that does nothing to erase the thoughts of Steve from your mind. 

  *****************************************

The walk to Steve’s was surprisingly calm. You weren’t freaking out completely, just a little nervous but that was nothing new to you when it came to spending time with Steve, especially alone. 

Unfortunately for you, that calm lasted for all of about 10 minutes. 

In theory it was a good idea to spend some time with Steve after ignoring him for days. It was an okay idea to agree to a movie night with your best friend. Was. 

But now that you’re standing on his porch and his door was just thrown open to reveal a freshly showered Steve, it seems like all of this was a horrible idea. 

An awful, terrible, horribly bad idea. 

Awful because you can see little beads of water from his freshly washed hair dropping and running down his throat. Awful because the urge to lean forward and run your tongue over them is so strong you swear your mouth waters a little bit. 

Terrible because he’s wearing that goddamn white t-shirt that is hugging his arms so tight and since when did his arms start to look like that? Awful because that same damn shirt is tight over his chest too. It fits him so well you can see it snug against his tummy and waist. It fits him like a glove and your hands clench at your sides to keep from touching him. 

And this is bad. So horribly bad because he’s wearing his favorite pair of light wash denim jeans that cling to his thighs so nicely you feel your knees wobble. One of your hands comes up to your mouth to run over your chin, subconsciously making sure you’re not actually drooling despite the way you wish you could drop to your knees and spend hours leaving marks on those thighs. You can’t see his ass and you’re praying to god he doesn’t turn around so you don’t have to suffer through seeing how his jeans hug him just right. 

While your mind is running a million miles a minute with thoughts of Steve, you realize you actually haven’t said anything. Haven’t made a move to greet him or walk in, instead just standing there with what you imagine is a slack jaw and wide eyes. Willing yourself to meet his gaze, you somehow manage to drag your eyes off his thighs and bring them up, up, up until you meet his. 

He definitely does not look like a kicked puppy right now. Those brown eyes are darker and he’s wearing a smirk that would make you do anything he asked. He cocks his eyebrow at you, amusement clear in his face as you try and collect yourself. 

“You look starved, honey. Wanna come in?” 

   *********************************

After the initial embarrassment wears off, you feel a little better. Somehow managing to brush off his teasing as if you weren’t just devouring him with your eyes, you follow Steve to the kitchen, laughing as he tries to balance all the snacks he’d bought for you in arms. He shot you a glare full of playfulness when you tried to help, insisting that he “was a big boy and could handle the snacks.” 

Now you find yourself on that same couch from last week, much more space between the two of you than there had been then, a good foot and half extra in fact. Steve laughed when he saw you practically throw yourself to the other end of the couch, hand reaching out for you with a little pout on his lips. “Think I’m gonna bite you or something?” God I wish. Please please please bite me! 

But instead you held out your hand reluctantly, fingers twisting with his as he tugged you toward him. Movie night flashed in your head. His clothed thigh just inches away from yours, arm thrown over your shoulders and a cheeky grin on his face as he pulled you into his side. A satisfied hum was heard and you could have sworn you heard him mumble under his breath, sounding a lot like “much better” but it was hard to hear anything with the smell of him clouding your senses. 

Trying to get your thoughts off of him you reach forward to grab the dvd case laying on the table, a small smile gracing your lips as you see what he had picked. “John Carpenter's Halloween. I thought you said you’d never watch this?” This time when you turned to him, he was the one with red cheeks and shy smile as he glanced between the movie and you. A small shrug and wink was thrown your way, “S’one of your favorites. You should know you’re the exception to my rules.” 

You’re fucked. 

Heart pounding in your chest all you could manage was a smile and a small “thank you” before turning away, hoping he’d get up and start the movie so you’d have something to distract you from how sweet he was, watching a scary movie you know he doesn’t want to watch just because it’ll make you happy. 

It was about halfway through the movie when it happened. 

Everything was going well! You were snuggled into his side, actually paying attention to the movie and not sitting there distraught over being so close to him. You were so invested you hadn’t noticed your hand slip to his thigh during a scene that had made you jump. 

But Steve noticed. 

Too engrossed in your movie to see how your hand was holding his upper thigh and it definitely would have been too high if you’d been paying attention. You didn’t notice this or the way Steve was now on red alert, whole body tense with his hand gripping the couch cushion and his eyes trained on your hand as if to make sure he wasn’t imagining it. 

He could do this, he could ignore your hand and let you watch your movie. It would be fine. He’ll just slip into the bathroom when it’s over or wait till you go home to take care of his now aching cock. And god was he aching. He didn’t dare move, too nervous that you’d get all weird and fidgety like you’d been. This was the closest you’d been to him without seeming freaked out in weeks and he was not about to ruin that. 

The smell of your lavender shampoo overwhelmed him, a groan threatening to spill out while you sat there so unaware of how beautiful you looked just existing. He noticed everything about you. The slope of your little button nose and the way your lips, your perfect pink lips, parted just so when you were lost in thought. He noticed how your cheeks would turn the prettiest shade of red when he called you baby or honey or sweetheart. And he loved it, craved it even. He couldn’t tell if it was because of him or if you were just a sensitive little thing in general. He’d take what he could get with you, even if he had to live off your rosy cheeks and holding your pinky for the rest of his life. 

“Fuck, honey, m’sorry but you have got to move your hand, please.” Steve’s voice in your ear so suddenly made you jump, a small yelp leaving your lips as you turned to see what he was talking about. You didn’t even realize you were touching him! But one look down at this thigh and you gasped, cheeks burning as your eyes moved from your hand clinging to his thigh over to now very noticeable bulge straining against those light wash jeans. Ripping your hand away as if he’d burned you, a string of curses and apologies flew out as you scrambled to move as far away as possible. 

If he looked pained with your hand on his thigh then he looked downright miserable now that you’d taken it away. “Don’t have to run away from me, honey. M’sorry, didn’t mean to scare you I just…fuck I couldn’t sit still with you holding onto me like that.” He did his best to tug you back and you let him. “Sorry, Stevie. I wasn’t…I didn’t, I was just watching the movie I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

He looked at you with furrowed brows, eyes jumping all over your face like he knew something you didn’t, like he knew something you should know. Neither of you said anything, just stared at each other for some time before he sighed, letting his head fall back against the couch before coming back to look at you again. 

Hand cradling your cheek he gave you a small, tired small like he couldn’t believe you could possibly make him uncomfortable. That is not the word he would use. “Silly girl, I’m not uncomfortable because your hand was on me. I’m uncomfortable because your hand on me is making me wanna pin you down and fuck you so hard you can’t think straight.”

Oh. Oh. 

Lips parted you just stared at him, not sure you’d be able to form a coherent thought let alone words right now. He wanted to fuck you? Since when? Why hasn’t he ever brought this up? Doesn’t he know you’d do anything he asked of you? 

Steve let you process, could see the gears turning in that pretty head of yours and your eyes switching from looking at him to looking at where his cock was pressing up against the zipper of his pants. Maybe he’d said too much, gone too far. He was almost certain now that you liked him, wanted him, but maybe it was too overwhelming to be so blunt with you. 

“Y’know what baby? I can see you freaking out and I didn’t mean to make you nervous so I’m gonna go to the bathroom, alright? Gonna take care of this real quick and then we can finish the movie, can start another one if you want. I’ll be right back and we can figure this out later.” It was him getting off the couch that broke you out of whatever spell you were under, hand wrapping around his arm and if you weren’t so desperate for this, for him, you’d be embarrassed by the look of panic in your eyes at the thought of not getting to see this, to make him feel good. 

“Please stay. Just…fuck just stay, okay?” 

Both of you paused, staring at each other and waiting for someone to move or to breathe or just do something. A soft “okay” was murmured between you, Steve settling back into the couch as you closed your eyes and took a deep breath. Fuck was this really happening? 

“Whatever you want to happen can happen, baby.” 

You definitely didn’t mean to say that out loud but now that you had, a little burst of courage hit you and you just let it pour out. “Didn’t mean to say that out loud I just..I didn’t…I’m nervous. You make me nervous. I want this. I want this so bad you have no idea but I didn’t know you wanted this so now my head is fucked and I’m rambling and kinda freaking out but you can stay. You can stay and I can watch or I can help or whatever you want just..stay. Ok?” You dared a glance up at Steve, his eyes wide and a grin broke out on his face. He looked as if you’d just handed him the moon not offered to watch him get off. 

Taking your hand in his he gave you a squeeze, “We’ll go slow. I can start and you can watch and if you wanna do more, feel fucking free, honey. But if you don’t, that’s fine. If you want me to stop, say the word. You’re in charge here,” he paused, lifting his hand to take my chin between his fingers so I’d be forced to meet his eyes, “and for the record, there hasn’t been I second I've known you where I haven’t wanted this. I’ll take anything you give me, swear it. Whatever you want, any way you want.” 

“Kiss me, please.” 

He didn’t need to be told twice, moving his hand to cup your cheek and pulling you toward him, his lips pressing against yours soft at first, testing the waters and trying to keep you calm. His lips were just as soft as you’d imagined, sweet like the candy he’d been eating earlier. You groaned against him, pushing closer and opening your mouth to invite him in, the thought of his tongue on yours enough to have you reaching your hands into his hair to tug him closer, closer until there wasn’t an inch of space between you. 

He pulled back first, a string of spit connecting the two of you and he cursed at the sight, “Jesus, fuck I can’t believe you’ve kept this sweet, pretty mouth away from me. S’not nice, baby. So mean to me, yeah?” If you thought you were desperate before it was nothing compared to now, now that you’d had a taste of him. 

“M’sorry Stevie, so sorry, not gonna keep em from you anymore. Promise, promise, promise.” You’re barely making sense, your head spinning and your body on fire. Foreheads pressed together you tried to catch your breath, but you couldn’t think or breathe or function when he was this close to you with his swollen, spit kissed lips just inches away from yours. 

Coming out of your post-kiss haze you move back beside Steve, eager and desperate to finally see him, all of him. His eyes widen as your hands go to the button of his jeans, tugging relentlessly and you're just so cute he has to laugh. Eager too and fuck how did he get so lucky?

“Take em off, please. Want them off, Stevie.” You’re full on pouting now and it takes everything in you not to cry. You’d do it if he wanted, you’d do anything. But he doesnt let it get that far, taking your hands off his jeans and cooing at you and it makes you feel a little pathetic but you can’t find it in yourself to care, not when he’s about to finally pull down his pants. 

He does so wordlessly, eyes bouncing from his lap to your face every few seconds like he’s checking in on you, making sure he’s not missing anything and that you still want this. It makes your tummy flutter and your heart race, his caring for you. His pants pushed down to his knees is all he can manage, head too fuzzy thinking about you and how he’s so hard it hurts worse than it ever has.

As soon as his jeans were out of your way you were staring, gawking really, at the white boxers sitting so prettily on his hips that were doing nothing to hide how hard, how big he was. A small wet patch forming where you know his tip is resting and it makes your mouth water. He’s just so hot. So hot and it makes it even better that this is because of you. Fuck.

A beg was on the tip of your tongue but before you could he put you out of your misery. Lifting his hips up you had to dig your nails into your palm to keep still while he pulled his boxers down, pretty, messy, cock slapping against his stomach. “Jesus fucking Christ, Steve! You’re so…I’m…fuck.” He breathed out a laugh which quickly turned to a wince when we saw how you were looking at him, at his cock. He felt himself twitch under your stare and you swear your mouth just fell open as if it was meant to be. 

His hand drifted towards his cock, eyes still on you to make sure you were okay. You gave him a nod and the sigh of relief you both had when he finally wrapped his hand around himself would have made you laugh if you weren’t throbbing. His head fell back against the couch and you were torn between watching him touch himself or watching his face while he did it. The former won, your eyes trailing the way his hand moved slowly, teasing the both of you. 

“S’pretty, you’re so pretty…” You’re not even sure you were talking to him, more just to yourself but he heard you nonetheless. His hips jerked at that, a small moan slipping past his swollen lips as he turned his head toward you, watching you with hooded eyes. I could watch this forever, you thought. 

You couldn’t believe it. A few days ago you were thinking of ways to never speak to Steve again and now here you were, watching him stroke his cock in front of you and looking at him as if he was your last meal. He held his hand out, a silent plea for something but you didn’t know what, not until he spoke.

“So good, baby, so pretty. Can you ju-just spit on my hand for me, honey? Lick it, spit on it, anything you want, I just need you please.” His words were slurred and if you hadn’t spent the last few hours together you would think he was drunk. He seemed so out of it, but in the best way. Like he didn’t just want you but needed you. It made you feel good, better than you ever had and it gave you a spark of bravery you were missing before. 

Knocking his hand out of your way you leaned forward with cautious eyes, watching as he tried to figure out what you were doing until it dawned on him and his cock twitched in his hand. You leaned forward, face hovering inches above him and spit, both of you watching as it dropped from your mouth to his tip, covering the top of his hand as he began to stroke himself again. His lips parted in an “o”, eyes squeezed shut and his tummy clenching as he let out the loudest moan you had heard, so loud and strong you felt yourself clenching around nothing.

You were wet but with Steve looking and sounding like that you couldn’t bring yourself to care about how bad you were aching right now, far too focused on Steve and how his thighs were starting to shake a little and his hips were starting to move faster and more uneven. 

“C-can I?” 

His eyes shot open, head shaking furiously before he had even fully understood what you were asking. He knew he wouldn't last more than ten seconds if you touched him but he couldn’t care less. All he could think about was how pretty you were, how good he was feeling, how you had just fucking spit on his cock. He would take whatever you gave him. 

With a whine that you would replay in your mind for the rest of your life he took his hand off, tugging yours closer to take his place. Both of you moaned at the contact and you were almost convinced you could cum just from touching him. “Help me, I want you to feel good, please.” He looked like a bobblehead as he nodded, putting his much larger hand over yours and giving it a squeeze, helping you to stroke him just how he liked, though anything from you would feel a million times better than his own hand. 

Addicted would be the word to describe it. Now that you had touched him, felt how hot and smooth his cock was in your hand, how pretty it looked all pink and wet and coated in your spit. Steve liked it messy and apparently so did you. You thought you were addicted to his cock, and you were, but nothing prepared you for the absolute filth that started spilling from him once he finally had your hand on him. It made you dizzy and out of breath and goddamn you would have to throw these panties in the trash after this. Absolutely ruined, just like you were. 

“Fuckin’ dreamed about this, ‘bout your hand on my cock, s’good, baby.”

“Don’t think I don’t see you squirming, honey. My pretty girl all wet ‘n needy and I haven’t even touched you. Bet you’re drenched and achy, huh?”

“Gonna make me cum, gonna make a mess of us but I bet you’ll be good and clean it up for me, won’t ya, bunny?”

He was babbling now and you could barely make sense of what he was saying but you didn’t stop. You couldn’t and you didn’t want to. His cock was slick with precum and your spit one of his hands guiding yours in quick strokes while his other was gripping the couch so hard his knuckles were white. 

“M’close, honey…so so close.”

“Please, Stevie…want it, I need it, please.” And that was all it took. No warning, your words taking him by surprise and hitting him like a punch to the gut. He took his hand off, bringing it to your hair and tugging you to him. It was a messy kiss, lips pressed together while he moaned against you, just breathing each other in while he cursed and whined, his hips stilling and you slowed, looking down just in time to see him cum. Your hand and his lower stomach was covered, his hand that was gripping the couch now thrown over his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. 

Chest and neck covered in sweat, he looked good. When he finally had gathered himself enough to look at you, he instantly regretted it. Instead of his innocent best friend, his sweet little bunny, he was looking at a little devil lapping at his cum on her hand like she hadn’t eaten in days. His softening cock twitched against his thighs and he stifled a groan when you hummed happily at the taste. 

“Christ, you’re gonna kill me.” You shrugged half heartedly, not even a little bit of you was sorry. 

“Can we finish the movie now, Stevie? I’ll probably pass out soon you wore me out, but I’m too tired to move.”

He looked down at you a little confused, your cheeks still pink and thighs still clenched together tightly. “You don’t…I can…I wanna take care of you too, sweetheart. Been dying to get a taste of you, know you’re sweet.”

You giggled and even though you were a mess, in every sense of the word, you didn’t think you could handle anymore and told him as such, eyes already feeling droopy and your body sagging against him. “Next time? Promise you can do anything you want to me next time but watching you cum was enough for me.” Your cheeks flamed as if you hadn’t just licked your best friend’s cum off your hand. 

“Alright, honey. Let’s finish your movie, you little vixen. Didn’t even take me out to dinner before you were drooling over my cock. A crime!” His smile was bright as you smacked at his chest and cursed him for teasing you.

You were sure that what had just happened would hit you soon and the panic would set in but for now you couldn’t bring yourself to care as you pressed a kiss to Steve’s bare chest and felt his grin against the top of your head. 

Did I mention I was fucked? 

[archeronfilm]

The Fifth Element (1997)

"I don't care, he should have been a butch lesbian."

In case you don't want spoilers, or to hear my long verbose in-detail thoughts on this movie, here's the short and sweet version:

The Fifth Element is raunchy, corny, and campy in all the right ways, and some of the wrong ones. It's far from a perfect movie, but I really enjoyed watching and rewatching it, and I would recommend it! I guess um, 4/5 stars, maybe.

Okay, now let's get serious. I saw the first 15 minutes of this movie while visiting my mother, found it so intriguing that I watched it with a friend, and then watched it again to write this review. Let's get into the meat of it. Spoilers for a 30 year old movie ahead.

Word Count: 6,082

Okay, The Fifth Element (1997), dir. Luc Besson, is a sci-fi comedy starring such greats as Bruce Willis and Gary Oldman, who I've been in love with since I watched Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead (1990).

We open in Egypt in 1914, in a scene I can only describe as "Mummy-esque." Seriously, this scene came on in my mother's living room and I thought we were watching a yet unseen installation of The Mummy or Indiana Jones. It contains, among other things, an incredibly hammy and not-at-all-subtle dump of exposition. They go out of their way to gravitate back to this wall of runes several times, to make sure you know as much background lore as possible. A later scene renders this odd choice kind of unnecessary, but I'll concede its existence for one key reason-- the Mondoshawan.

The Mondoshawan are the good-guy aliens in this movie, though they're only featured on screen two times, one of them being this scene. Their space ship looms awesomely over this strange Egyptian exposition-temple, and they are a star example of one of the best parts of this movie.

All the effects, or at least as many of them as possible, are practical. Of course, it's a movie made in the 90's, so they would be. But the beautifully clunky and real toddling of these men in alien costumes was a dead-ringer for New Who, and it was incredibly endearing to me. I am a major believer in the power and merit of practical effects and the tragedy of computer generation. And this movie is *swimming* in practical effects. It's a delight.

I will say there's this bit where the leader Mondoshawan is toddling towards this very slowly closing stone door and he doesn't make it through because his very slow waddling is somehow slower than the door is, and I think it was supposed to be semi-serious but I laughed at it. It was just a little ridiculous.

The back half of this first scene feels kind of oddly paced, like it's rushed, which is odd to me considering the scene didn't hold back on dumping as much stuff on me as possible just a few minutes ago. Very strange scene, seems to only have one purpose, which I'll get back to later.

So, flash forward 30 years to something dramatically different in aesthetic and vibe, of course. We're in space. We're gritty, we're militaristic, of course. There's an evil fucking orb of fire flying towards the Earth at top speed. Things aren't looking great.

The president, a man with eyes of a frightening shade, is black! This is not plot relevant, but I find the tendency of movies from this period to feature black presidents far before Obama's term to be really interesting. Is this social commentary? A thoughtful statement about how fantastical the idea of a black man in office is to the average American? I will never know. I really like this character, he's a fun guy. He has more personality than most president characters do, probably due to him being on an awesome spaceship with a team of nodding yes-men in a delightfully Star Trek-esque uniform. I like him a lot. He's my boy.

This is the same scene where we get introduced to Vito Cornelius, a priest who appears to be Catholic because he does the sign of the cross later in the movie, even though I definitely assumed he was some weird member of the church of the Fifth Element or something.

Cornelius is here to suggest that the ball of fire is sentient and evil, and that the president shouldn't shoot it with missiles, because it's so sentient and evil that it'll get even sentienter and eviler. Of course, the president disregards this warning, because that's what movie presidents do to random old men in robes.

From this blunder comes one of the many incredibly hard lines in this movie. Where Mr. President tells Staedert, his military commander, "I have a doubt." and Staedert replies "I don't, Mister President" and then presses the fire button on the huge gigantic missiles. It's awesome, only slightly undercut by the fact that it doesn't work and Staedert and his crew get fucking obliterated right after. By the evil sentient ball which shoots out a flare of flames that has an evil spooky skull in it. That's not a joke at all, that seriously happens in this scene. I laughed.

Now we smash cut to Bruce Willis. He's Korben Dallas, this sort of gritty ex-military guy with a very cute cat. I love this cat. She is an adorable, slightly cross eyed white longhair. It's honestly a tragedy and a waste that she was only in like two scenes. She should have been ever-present, fitted with Air Bud esque mouth animation so she could act as Bruce Willis' voice of reason throughout the film.

Korben Dallas is trying to quit smoking. He's a cab driver who's dogshit at driving his cab and is mere seconds away from losing his license. He is, and I quote, "Still stuck on that two-timing slut." He wants a perfect woman. There are about two Chekov's guns in that last block of text.

He opens his first scene with us in what I can only describe as the sluttiest most hot and sweaty chest binder I've ever seen. And a pair of tight belted leather boots that it really seems like he fell asleep wearing.

And then he gets mugged by a guy, presumably so they can show us how much he knows about guns, and that he has been mugged enough that he now has a secret shelf that is just completely full of guns. Hilarious. I love this bit. It's not even relevant, I just loved it.

Okay so the evil sentient ball of fire. We didn't forget about that. This scene is one that confused me really badly during my rewatch. Here, Cornelius explains in full detail and in much less vague terms than before what the Fifth Element does and why they need it to save Earth from this evil ball of fire. This scene renders most of the in-narrative purpose of the first scene moot. The only reason it now exists (other than some background stuff that could probably have been introduced in a less odd way) is to address a more meta issue, which I'll get to later. But while I was watching it, I couldn't help but think "Well... then what the hell were we doing in the desert with Luke Perry?"

In this scene, we get to see the Mondoshawans again for the final time, so we can introduce the bad guy aliens, the Mangalores. They jack the stones (the elements) from the Mondoshawan ship and blow them up.

I thought this scene was supposed to set up the stereotypical "military incompetent" idea that's often present in this type of sci fi, but the president honestly makes mostly good decisions that don't make him feel like a bumbling idiot once through the entire movie. Honestly, he's kind of cool. I like him.

Okay, now that the Mangalores have been tragically exploded, we get the vehicle towards one of our main characters. Using a saved body part from the Mangalores and some utterly and delighfully made up genetic scienceology, we recreated the perfect genes of some alien into... a skinny white girl with the orangest hair I've ever seen. This scene features one of the only costuming choices in the movie that I truly hate. Leeloo's weird strap undies (and subsequent inability to wear normal pants, but mostly these strap undies?). I just hate it. Why is it here. It's not even that sexy looking. She looks like a ham in an asylum.

The set design in this movie is also delightfully Whovian and Star-Trek-ish. Tinfoil walls, lava lamp type sensibilities. The costumes are camp the set is camp, everything is camp. It's an absolute whale. The costumes the policemen wear while chasing runaway Leeloo are just hilarious. Many fantastic choices made all around, except for those fucking weird underpants.

Some of the sci-fi concepts in this movie FEEL overplayed and hammed up, and then I remember that it was released when a lot of this stuff was new and in-vogue, and it becomes an interesting exercise in perspective. Maybe they were pioneers, what do I know? I'm having an absolute ball.

Okay, so Leeloo falls directly through the roof of Korben Dallas' cab, and before you say anything, I do have many choice words throughout this recap/review about the infamous trope borne of this movie, "Born Sexy Yesterday," and I am aware of its existence. These opinions are sprinkled throughout alongside my others.

So Bruce Willis seems to be a big fan of this strange woman who, especially in this scene, acts very childlike. Korben's interest doesn't really read as creepy in this scene, until later when he randomly assaults her. You know, like a creep would do. I digress.

Leeloo knows how to read Roman lettering, and while I understand this choice in this scene, I do think it doesn't make sense and kills a little bit of world building. Whatever. Language guy complaining about language stuff.

Speaking of world building, there are a lot of worldbuilding things conveyed visually and through dialog in this movie that arent ham-fisted exposition vomit, and I am very fond of them. The hitch inside the rear door of Dallas' cab, saying Leeloo "doesn't have a file," the Fog? That is never explained? This world has some suggestion of richness and intrigue that I love to see from sci-fi. They waste no time painting "THIS IS THE POINT" with big red letters, because it's just setdressing, and I think that ultimately makes these details really sing.

I love the dialog and energy in the high speed chase scene, the vertical train, the Fog??? The way this movie doesn't need to explain itself. Until it does explain itself. Blatantly. And then I get sad.

In a lot of ways, I think this movie's actual plot is the least interesting part of it. More on this later.

It also *really* seems like this movie was sponsored by McDonald's.

A nearly unconscious Leeloo begs Korben Dallas to take her to Cornelius, before passing out with such cartoonish vigor that I originally thought she was kidding.

So Korben takes Leeloo to Cornelius' apartment, getting originally turned away for being mistaken for newlyweds (barf). Instead of knocking again, he just kicks down the door. Cornelius realizes due to a tattoo on her inner wrist that she's the Fifth Element (!) and passes out. Korben places her on the couch.

Now, I don't really understand why Korben Dallas chooses to sexually assault Leeloo by kissing her while she's unconscious in this scene. It not only feels gross, it also feels kind of unprecedented. They've met once, had approximately the amount of chemistry you'd expect, and then she passed out. Maybe in the 90's this felt spontaneous and romantic, but to me it just feels like he did it for no reason. I wish she had actually shot him. Thankfully, her outburst of rage at this momentarily makes her feel a little less like a literal grade-schooler, a much needed respite.

Milla Jovovich does what I think is a pretty good job at keeping her pronunciation of the divine language consistent throughout the scenes where she speaks it. She's Ukranian-American, but I have no idea if she's bilingual or had an accent coach or something. Either way, well done Ms. Jovovich!

Anyway, Cornelius walks in having suddenly changed into these silly ass robes, a great sight gag, and kicks Korben out of the room, but not before he reveals that the words that Leeloo yelled at Korben meant "never without my permission," which really made me wish she had shot him *twice*.

The scene where Korben talks to his friend, Finger, about Leeloo was clearly supposed to be romantic, I'm sure. It actually makes him look like a freak. I hated him for much of this movie.

Now, Back to the Mangalores. The Mangalores are a warrior race who have been hired by the big evil of this movie-- Gary Oldman. For some reason, they decided to make him southern. Not that I'm really complaining, but characters in this movie seem to have accents for no reason, and I really love it.

I love Gary Oldman in this movie. His character, Zorg, is fitted with one of the most ridiculous wardrobes of the entire cast. He has this odd plastic cap on his head, a flaccid mohawk, and the filthiest facial hair possible (a soul patch). He is fucking awesome. I love Zorg.

Spliced between parts of this arms deal, we learn that the stones aren't in the case. Leeloo tells Cornelius that in case they were stolen, the stones were given to someone trusted by the Mondoshawans, but not before changing clothes in front of him and his apprentice. I swear, she does this like three times in this movie.

The cut back to Leeloo in this scene right after Zorg realizes the box is empty is really well done. Effective, funny, punchy. She laughs like a freak, it's great.

There's a bit of dialog Zorg has with his right hand man right after this failed arms deal where he talks about his philosophy around warriors and why he prefers killers. I love this bit. The way he just coldly leaves them with a bomb built into his holy-overkill-gun is hard as shit, and it gives us a nice insight into our villain in the first scene he's in. I like it. I like Zorg.

Speaking of Zorg, we get a proper introduction to him just after. Here is one of the most interesting scenes in this film, where we get some insight about Zorg and Cornelius' respective opinions on life and death.

The interesting thing about this scene is that I kind of agree with Zorg, his saying that death exists to create life for the living, ostensibly feeding the cycle of life and progress. Regardless, he is painted as stupid when Cornelius has to rescue him from choking on a cherry.

And why the hell would you ever put a whole cherry in a glass of water? You're basically asking to choke to death. And Cornelius has a point, why don't you, a guy who has a special button to unearth his bizarre elephantine freak creature from the secret drawer in your desk, have a special robot to smack you on the back when you're choking? *Especially* when you do dumb shit like putting whole pit-in cherries in your glasses of water? Answer me that, Jean-Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg.

Actually, I don't know how this bit is supposed to disprove Zorg's point. All it really proves is that people need each other sometimes, which has nothing to do with what Zorg was actually saying to Cornelius here. Now, we could argue that it goes against the way that he executes this philosophy, which is true, being that he is a weird freaky villain who has henchmen, but I don't want to argue that. Because the fact that they have this strange sum-zero philosophical argument where they're ostensibly not even talking to each other is way funnier.

Right after this there's a bit where he sends his right hand man to literally bug the space-oval office. As in, it's a cockroach with a little camera and microphone on it. This bit is super funny. No thematic relevance, I just loved watching the president fucking cream the roach with his shoe while Zorg's henchman writhed in pain from the mic feedback.

The next important scene, by which I mean the next scene, starts with a healthy serving of "Sci-Fi setting that is weird about Asian people." Get behind me, Mr. Kim, this movie doesn't respect you enough.

Anyway, Korben's hilariously young adult-sounding mother calls him on the phone to bitch at him insanely about how he never calls and gives us a key piece of information-- Korben has won an all expenses paid trip to Fhloston Paradise! This coincidentally is where Leeloo told Cornelius the person with the stones was. This contest was actually alluded to on Korben's television in his first scene as well. This movie is very, *very* good at setup-payoff. Lots of domino situations.

Korben professional-improvs his way out of a police confrontation (organized by Zorg) just to get walloped over the head by Cornelius, who intends to steal his tickets so he and Leeloo can save planet Earth. In the process, he also puts his former superior officer in a freezer. Everyone wants Korben's sweet sweet bod in this scene. It's really something.

There's a couple of details about Korben's character and his relationship with Leeloo in this scene that jumped out at me, and I will be addressing them alongside the others of their ilk later in this review.

Cornelius hatches a plan to make his apprentice David impersonate Korben so they can get to Fhloston. It doesn't work, of course, because this movie chose to represent being knocked out the most realistically I've ever seen in a blockbuster flick. Korben is only down for the count for a second or two, which means he caught up with them and pulled some more startlingly effective improvisation out of his ass to get on this flight with Leeloo. It's really remarkable how good this ex military guy is at improv. Get his ass behind a mic. Get Korben on Whose Zorg is it Anyway, and pay me royalties.

I have a note here that just says "Everyone in this movie wears what I can only describe as rave wear. It's pretty hilarious." I have nothing to add. That's accurate.

So they're boarding this flight, right? And here's a real doozy. 1 out of 2 of my impassioned rants on one specific character in this movie who we meet in this scene. Ruby Rhod. Ruby ffffucking Rhod.

I actually *need* to talk about this guy. He is like the Prince of outer space. His scenes where he does his talk show are mesmerizing, zany, all over the place. I felt like I was having a nightmare. He's fascinating, fabulous, flamboyant, some other f word that I'm choosing not to say right now. His use of "green" to mean "good" is just perfect. Korben's completely dodgy and stiff responses are honestly the perfect contrast to Ruby in this scene. They're foils. This scene has captivated me. Ruby prowls around while tiger growling noises play in the background and flirts with this random stewardess ON AIR, inches from her face with the mic separating their mouths, promising to have sex with her later. ON AIR. It's implied that this is a normal thing that is acceptable on his show.

Ruby also has a whole gang of yes men, all of which are only slightly less flamboyantly homosexual than he is, but still feel more explicitly homosexual than Ruby, who has sex with as many women as he can possibly manage, which seems to be many, because every woman who mentions his name in this movie appears to cream their pants if he so much as breathes near them. That girl he flirted with? She moaned and collapsed on the floor right after.

The scene after the show, where Korben Dallas pins Ruby to the wall and threatens him, would have been beautifully compelling if Korben Dallas was a butch lesbian. This is the furthest thing from thoughtful character analysis, I just would have liked it more.

It's implied in the following scene that Ruby has only ever really wanted to fuck aliens before meeting this random stewardess, and we get to watch a very cleverly compiled set of scenes from wildly different locales that all fit together. Ruby having sex with this stewardess, the ship taking off, and Zorg blowing up his right hand man for failing him. They also use the Wilhelm scream in this scene, but given that the movie was made in the late 90's this is par for the course, and is really much more tasteful than usual.

For some reason, rasta(?) music is playing. There is a vaguely rastafarian man in this scene, but only for around 12 seconds. The use of regionally and culturally specific music in this movie that has no bearing on the actual space the characters inhabit is absolutely fascinating to me. There was some music earlier, playing in sci-fi New York, that I swear used a Raga scale. All the music is very good, good job Éric Serra.

After Zorg finishes exploding his frankly very competent right hand man, we get a scene where we discover that he's after the stones because some man he's working for, Mr. Shadow, wants them. Zorg is the main antagonist for most of this movie. Mr. Shadow never comes back again, and we do not need him. All he really serves to do is to make Zorg look more pathetic and give him an excuse to be more desperate when he can't get his hands on the stones, which, while fine, I think the movie could have gotten away with just having Zorg being a dramatic villain who freaks out when he doesn't get his way without this bit. Not egregious, but not really a necessary scene.

Okay, I have a big question. Why is Fhloston paradise Hawaii? It just *is* Hawaii. Did Hawaii escape to a separate planet at some point? Good for them, except that Fhloston is still a crazy tourist spot full of annoying white people, so not really. This is just Super Mega Hell 2 for Hawaiians. The song they sing in the first Fhloston scene is really good, though. Thanks, Éric.

On the topic of Fhloston, I really love the use of color in the set. Given the way the rest of this movie is, it's possible that it's more for visual contrast and not theming, but there is a scene during the opera performance that switches between complements, and the visual contrast is, well, good.

Speaking of the opera, Korben has front row seats, and its 5pm. You know what that means.

It's fucking Ruby Rhod time, baby! Ruby is back in black, in the most fantastic costume in this entire movie. Despite it showing off his entire clavicle (no exaggeration), it manages to get more and more revealing as this scene plays out. This bit where he asks Korben if he's happy with being on Fhloston in his usual over the top, loud, flamboyant way and Korben looks into his eyes, leans into the mic, and says "Thrilled" drolly is a short interaction so packed with sexual tension that I can't even argue for it without just telling you to watch the scene. This is their only interaction that really FEELS like gay sex, and it made my jaw go slack for a couple of seconds, even as the movie immediately moved on to the much more important opera segment.

Speaking of the opera, for real this time, I have one complaint. It's an annoying complaint that nobody ever wants to hear, but I'm saying it anyway because that's what I'm here to do: Diva is *not* singing. Now, maybe in some later movie review we can learn my detailed opinions on live recordings of singing performances in film (short version: I don't think they should happen, and I hate them) my main complaint is mostly that Diva's actress is just not very good at *pretending* to sing, much less opera. She doesn't pretend to breathe, doesn't try to move her mouth with the incredibly strong vibrato (understandable to some extent) but most of all, her mouth shapes just aren't right. I can concretely point to certain mouth shapes and say "that's not the shape her mouth should be when singing that vowel," it's obvious enough that I can do that. Granted, I have some experience in singing on stage, so maybe that's just my personal annoying musician experience speaking, but it was really noticeable to me. Okay, annoying complaint over, now I can say nice things

This opera, Lucia di Lammermoor with a poppy remix track towards the end, is ridiculously well performed. Diva's vocalist, Inva Mula, does a stunning job at both the formal and informal portions of this song. It's actually amazing how little of her voice had to be computer edited to sound more "alien," it's only done like twice in the portion that it's done at all, and the rest is pretty clearly just her. She really knocks it out of the park here.

The movie does something interesting here that I really enjoyed, where they periodically show us different characters reactions to this opera. Mostly Korben and Leeloo. I want to focus on Korben, who looks at Diva like this is the first time he's ever been moved in his life. Seriously, his eyes are wet and shining with unshed tears and I really mean that. Right when we get this poignant reaction out of Korben, the pop track starts playing and the somber moment abruptly ends, which is kind of what it's like watching this movie, or clicking on a Read More and discovering a film review that is easily over 5k words.

This movie has a great penchant for match cuts. Actually, most of the transition and shot choices made in this movie are really top of the line. They're all punchy, sharp, playful, to the point. Fantastic cinematographic choices, guys.

Diva finishes her performance right after Leeloo finishes fighting Zorg by getting shot at while up in an air duct. The opera is then laid siege by the Mangalores, who brutally murder Diva. This is sad for me, because I wanted her and Leeloo to be friends, and for Korben Dallas, who just felt the strongest emotion he's ever experienced thanks to her.

Ruby, of course, continues reporting on his talk show throughout the assault, because he's a goddamn professional. He also spends the next scene and a half shrieking in fear.

The reveal that the stones are literally inside Diva's body not only makes me watch one of the more disgusting scenes in this movie, it also makes me wonder-- Was Leeloo just supposed to kill her? Also, how did they get in there? Many questions and no answers, because we aren't here to fuck around.

While Diva is giving Korben this weird spiel about how Leeloo needs him and his love to survive, there's this brief cut to Leeloo, bleeding in the air vent. This cut is an absolute pang to the gut. She sits, curled up, alone, sobbing painfully with a bullet wound in her leg. She looks small, helpless, childlike in this brief scene. It was so impactful to me that it just made me angry about the way Korben and Leeloo's relationship in this movie is executed. This is another "get back to it later" thing.

For the rest of this "getting shot up by Mangalores" scene, Ruby Rhod is cowering and sniffling and screaming for Korben to help him. It's honestly like this for the rest of the movie. They're just friends now. It's awesome. I love this guy. He accidentally shoots a guy in the head and then asks Korben "You think he'll be okay?" He's the best character in this movie.

We get one of Korben's final fantastic moments of improv in this scene. It's around this point, during the "negotiation" scene, that I realized that the problem with this movie is that the best parts of it are the parts that aren't about the two characters who I'm supposed to care about the relationship between.

This scene, where Korben gets in a fighter jet, says it's just like driving a cab (a contrast from his conversation with Finger in his first scene, where he says driving a cab is easy because he isn't driving a jet) and then blows a fucking hole in the airlock and guns it out of the Fhloston ship, is so fucking cool. I'm a very simple man. It was awesome. One question, does Korben have some kind of allergy to reminding people to put seatbelts on? This is the second time he's just allowed his passengers to fly around the cabin while he drives recklessly.

Ruby's show ends at 7pm, when he tiredly proclaims that it's the best show he's ever done. I was thinking the same thing. In fact, Mr. Rhod, I really think you should hire Korben. There, now he has a new job.

Right here is where I'm going to address one of my main points (gripes) about this movie. Yes, I know, over 5k words in.

This part of the scene, where Leeloo has her weird crisis of faith about the evil of the human race, learns about war and concludes that humans aren't worth saving, falls flat to me. Sure, it feels over-played, but ultimately the problem is just that it's not done well, much like the rest of her characterization. Leeloo's depiction as being naive and childlike, which honestly only holds because she doesn't really speak fluent English, holds back her character because of the movies comphet insistence that her and Korben be romantically involved. A narrative where Leeloo, naive and unfamiliar, Leeloo, who needs other people, who sobs painfully alone in an airvent, who needs to be dried off with a towel after getting soaked with water, is actually a child, would be more compelling. And her not being able to reconcile with the evils of humanity would also have felt more convincing if she was literally a child. Like, of *course* she can't see the situation with any nuance, she's a kid. A narrative where Leeloo and Korben's dynamic is more familial would be more interesting, and honestly the way she's characterized already lends itself so perfectly to this narrative that there were points where I got actually upset that the movie refused to go that direction.

I'll go ahead and talk about Korben's character here as well. Korben is a refreshing detraction from the classic grizzled tough guy trope that we tend to see in action movies. Whether this is a result of 90's zeitgeist or just the writer's own preferences, I don't know, but I noticed it. I was expecting Korben Dallas to be a sort of obnoxious, emotionally stunted brick wall of a guy-- but he isn't, really. Korben is quick on his feet, improvisational, messy, and sure he's genius with a gun, but he's also *nice*. He's nice in a distinctly not "Grizzled emotionally stunted guy" way. When he accidentally gets Leeloo soaking wet, he gets her a towel at warp speed, apologizes up and down in a much softer tone than he ever uses for anything else. I thought at first "of course, because he likes her," but then-- Then! When he discovers that he's accidentally plastic-wrapped Cornelius, he rips the plastic and apologizes-- in the same sort of tone. He adapts his approach to the Mangalore barrage in the cruise ship to Ruby Rhod, never complains about Ruby being a nuisance or being in his way, just brings him along and asks him to help out. I honestly really like Korben Dallas. Which is why, upon reflecting on earlier scenes in this movie, it really irritates me that he just kisses Leeloo for no reason, or even that he's in love with her at all.

That scene I mentioned, where Korben dries her off, or even as early as the cab scene where she's talking animatedly to him in the divine language and we get the "bada boom" dialog, just oozes a kind of gentleness and care that doesn't speak satisfactorily to romance or sex. Leeloo, this childlike character, and Korben, this gentle man who happens to be great with guns, don't feel like husband and wife. They don't feel like sexual partners. He feels like her father. That moment with the shower soured the rest of their dynamic for me during my rewatch, because I kept thinking about how much better it could be. That dynamic, as I've already said, would have been deeply compelling, especially given the final reveal of the movie.

Now that we've escaped Fhloston, we've headed back to the temple in Egypt. This is that meta function of the first scene I said I'd address-- without it, there is no sense of a sort of circular journey the film takes. The film establishing this temple *is* important, because otherwise this scene where we return to it just wouldn't land as well. That said, I do still think the first scene is a little odd and clunky. Then again, so is much of this movie, and it's still a good scene.

Our characters spend a frustratingly long time decoding a "riddle" that Leeloo tells Korben, one which was so simple that I was yelling at my laptop the first time I watched it. We get another very gratifying and subtle payoff from an earlier scene where we see Korben has only one match left, which he needs for the fire stone. Earlier, we see him subtly take his penultimate match from the box. This movie's Chekov game is crazy.

Much like this review, Leeloo says something that feels deeply substantial nearly 2 hours into a 2 hour long movie. She says "I don't know love. I was made to protect, not to love. There is no use for me other than this."

This line is so compelling to me. It's the most CHARACTER I've seen from her in the whole movie, and its 2 hours in. We do not get to explore it.

You might have noticed, based on this line, what the Fifth Element actually is. What Leeloo needs in order to activate her Element and shoot the big fuckoff laser into the evil fire ball.

Its ~Love~.

This is, of course, ridiculously corny and requires them to kiss nasty on the mouth for longer than I would have liked to see (Of course, I would have like to not see it at all).

I don't actually mind this conclusion or the theming. It's silly, but so is the whole movie. But you might, like me, see an issue here.

If we had approached this movie the way I so desperately craved, made their dynamic more familial, made Leeloo a child and given Korben a new weird alien daughter, this conclusion would have been leagues more powerful.

Not only would it be a unique approach to what is usually a very hetero and sexual genre, it would have given a much more gratifying conclusion to Korben's character arc. At the beginning of his arc, Korben talks about how he's looking for a perfect woman after his wife left him. In the movie, Korben just... *gets* the perfect woman. He gets exactly what he wanted and he learns nothing. If Korben instead had to reckon with this new facet of his life and identity, had to reconcile with being thrust into quasi-fatherhood, he might actually have deigned to, you know, *develop* as a character. He would have *learned* something. I'm not saying every single character in the movie has to learn something, but the main goddamn character probably should, right?

But since it's an ~adult movie~ for ~grown ups~, we can't tell compelling family narratives, and the movie has to end with them having sex in a reactor pod. I hate that. I hated that conclusion and my least favorite part of this movie was its main conceit, which was genuinely tragic given how enjoyable I found the rest of the film.

So, I'll leave you with this.

The Fifth Element (1997) is a *good* movie. It's incredibly fun, zany, raunchy, and lively. The music is very good, the costuming and set design is whimsical and fantastic. It's a little weird about Asians. It birthed one of the worst cinema tropes ever invented, and it didn't even have to, because the movie would have been really, deeply beautiful if it hadn't.

And Korben Dallas should have been a butch lesbian.

Actually, I'll leave you by saying that the song that plays in the credits of this movie is really good. "Little Light of Love," it's called. I'm going to link it so you can experience it, too.

[whimsicallyenchantedrose]

CS Winter Bingo--Square 4 (caroling): A Match Faked for Christmas, ch. 3

Hi there and happy holiday season!  In an attempt to continue procrastinating my season 4 rewatch drabbles–and to not feel guilty about it–I decided to participate in the CS Winter Bingo event.  I received nine winter/holiday related prompts arranged in a square like a bingo card.  My mission is to make a bingo by writing at least three of my prompts before winter is over, but I’m hoping to do better than that!  I’m hoping to finish all nine!  Given the nature of the event, you can expect a lot of fluff (but then what else would you expect from me, after all?)  I’m hoping to keep them short as well, but I’m usually not nearly as successful at that.  And without further ado, let’s play CS Winter Bingo!

Rating: G

Word count: 1554

Today’s prompt: Fake Dating: Holiday Edition

Other chapters: (1) (2) (3) (5) (6)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Emma took a deep breath, hesitated for another moment, and then knocked on Killian’s door.  After holiday decorating yesterday, she figured it was her turn to approach him for their next act of romantic subterfuge.

And…well…maybe she had enjoyed the outing to the tree farm, putting up the lights and ornaments and garland, talking and laughing and just enjoying the company of her neighbor.  Maybe they could be friends when all of this was over?  It was good to be friendly with neighbors, wasn’t it?

Yeah, friends, her rather sarcastic inner voice mocked.  You totally just feel friendship for him.  That’s why your heart nearly beat out of your chest when you fell from that ladder and he caught you in his arms.  Nothing more!

Emma felt her cheeks redden, and prayed that if Killian saw it he would just attribute it to the cold wind.

Okay, so maybe he was her hot friend.  She had eyes, didn’t she?  She could appreciate a well-built male specimen.

At that inauspicious moment, the well-built male specimen himself opened the door.

“Why Swan,” he said, “I wasn’t expecting you.  To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Pleasure indeed. Unbidden, images guaranteed to deepen the color on her cheeks to magenta flitted through her mind.

“Uh,” she said, clearing her throat, “I thought I ought to come to your house too.  You know, to keep up appearances.  We are ‘dating’ after all.  Should pretend like we enjoy each other’s company.”

He motioned her in and then shut the door against the cold December wind.  “I do enjoy your company, Swan.”

He said it so simply, so matter-of-factly.  Only the barest hint of the innuendo she knew he was capable of.  It made her heart stutter. Again.

If this fake relationship lasted much longer, she was going to need to see a cardiologist.

“So, what manner of relationship worthy trickery did you have in mind today, love?” he asked after a moment.

She simply shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I’m not good at this.”

“Faking a relationship?”

“A relationship at all,” she said.  “I’m more of a one-nighter type.  I’ve had a couple relationships, and…well, the best thing I can say about them is that they’re over.”

She did not want to talk about Neal or Walsh or the way they’d so utterly messed her up.

He must have sensed her reluctance, because he tactfully moved on.  “Well then, I have a suggestion.”

“Yeah?”

“Let’s go caroling!” he said with a big, excited smile.

“Caroling?” she said with a frown. “As in knocking on people’s doors and then singing.  In public?”

“Of course!” he said.  “In the immortal words of Buddy the Elf, the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear!”

She laughed at that–not merely his words or the fact that he was quoting a silly Christmas movie, but also the exaggerated way he waggled his eyebrows when he said it.  He was an idiot.  He was adorable.

She was in trouble.

“Killian, I have no idea how your voice is,” she said, “but there is a reason I don’t sing in front of anyone else.  Ever.”

“Oh come on!” he wheedled, “you can’t be that bad!  Besides, after we’re done, we can come back here and I’ll make you another mug of hot cocoa.”

“Wait,” she said, “you mean you made the cocoa you brought me?  Like from scratch?”

“Of course!” he answered.  “Nothing to it.  Just heat a little milk, a little cocoa, maybe a dash of vanilla and voila!  Molten sweetness in a mug.  How do you make your cocoa?”

She shrugged. “Tear open a packet of Swiss Miss, dump it in some water, and then nuke it til it’s hot.”

He pulled a face that made her laugh again.  “That’s it, Swan,” he said, “it’s decided.  As your fake boyfriend it is my duty to save you from the perils of powdered cocoa mix.  So what do you say?  A little caroling?  We end up at Mary Margaret’s to make a good show of it, and then back here for cocoa?”

“It’s a fake date,” she said, “but you’re going to have to help me.  I don’t exactly have all the Christmas music memorized.”

“Not a problem, love!” he said, rummaging in one of his cabinets and producing two old, rather faded song books.  “I come prepared for any Christmas related emergency.”

Emma didn’t know what to expect when it came to caroling with Killian, but when they reached the first house and his smooth, almost liquid baritone crooned “Silent night”, her jaw literally dropped.  That voice…like silk did things to her.

He glanced at her when she didn’t join in with him, and caught her gaping.  The slow, sinful wink he shot in her direction, knowing gleam in his eye, did not help matters.

“Why didn’t you tell me you could sing like that?” she asked as they walked away from their first house.

“Like what, love?” he asked with an all too satisfied grin.

“Like….like….” his grin widened at the way she stuttered, and she frowned up at him.  “You know exactly like what!”

He laughed.  “I’m flattered by your eloquent praise,”

She was saved the trouble of making an even bigger fool of herself when Leroy Little opened the door to them, rather impressive scowl on his face.

“What?” he groused.  “My brothers and I are having a holiday party. And you’re interrupting.”

“Just here to spread a little Christmas cheer,” Killian said, and then indicated a page in their song book.

This time Emma joined in on a rousing rendition of “God rest ye merry, gentlemen.”  Behind Leroy, six other men listened attentively and then applauded when the song came to an end.  Leroy, unmoved, merely held his scowl.

“You done?” he asked when the last note died away. “Can we get back to it now?”

“Merry Christmas to you,” Emma called over her shoulder as she and Killian moved toward their next house.

Killian was uncharacteristically silent as they walked, and after a moment Emma looked up at him.  He peered back a delighted grin on his face.  

“What?” she asked.

“Why Swan, you were holding out on me,” he said.  “You led me to believe you could barely carry a tune, but your voice is lovely.”

Her cheeks reddened–again–at the compliment. “Whatever,” she said dismissively.

“No, really!” he said, and despite the slight hint of gentle teasing in his face, she could hear the sincerity below it.  “You have the voice of an ethereal fairy princess.”

She burst into laughter at that ridiculous thought.  “Killian, I don’t think anyone in their right mind would call me that!”

He chuckled.  “An ethereal warrior fairy princess then?  Or, maybe, given the holiday season, an ethereal warrior sugarplum fairy princess?”

She laughed again at his nonsense and playfully shoved him.  He took her hand and placed it in the crook of his arm as they continued their carolling.

Half an hour later, Emma was certainly filled with holiday cheer in spite of herself, but she was also more than half frozen.  She breathed a sigh of relief as they made it to the Nolan residence, their last stop before heading back inside.

“You know what would really sell the ruse?” Emma asked as they walked up their matchmaking neighbor’s front porch.

He raised his eyebrows in question.

“A flirtatious rendering of ‘Baby it’s cold outside.’” she said.  

His grin grew wicked. “That is a fantastic idea!  We’ll have her eating out of our hands.”

And if Mary Margaret Nolan’s expression while they sang was any indication, he was absolutely correct.

As for Emma….well, she was convinced the song choice was a very significant miscalculation on her part.  Killian singing Christmas carols about the birth of the newborn king was bad enough, but when he dialed the smolder up to eleven with a song like that, it was a wonder she didn’t spontaneously combust.

When the song came to an end, Mary Margaret and David both applauded enthusiastically, before Mary Margaret invited them in.

“We’ll have to take a rain check,” Killian said smoothly.  “As it happens, Emma and I have a hot cocoa date to get to.  Another time, perhaps.”

The older woman’s eyes gleamed at the information, and she enthusiastically ushered them on their way.  Killian took Emma’s hand and laced their fingers as they walked across the street.  Emma knew the action was all for show. She knew it, but still, she felt a bolt of electricity from their connected hands all the way up to her heart.

This had been a surprisingly enjoyable afternoon.  The fact was, she’d liked spending the time with Killian, liked talking and laughing and simply being with him.

And that thought terrified her.

Physical attraction, she could deal with.  This…connection, this care, this….way her heart fluttered when he looked at her, when he spoke, when he sung to her.   Yeah, this was harder to deal with..  A girl’s stomach didn’t swoop when her friend, smiled at her, did she? 

Emma was beginning to think she was in very serious trouble.

Stepping into Killian’s house, she shrugged it off.  That was post-Christmas ethereal warrior sugarplum fairy princess Emma’s problem.  For now, she’d just enjoy the ride.

NEXT CHAPTER->

[velvet-vox]

My second pipeline of future ideas: Part 1

As of right now, I'm making an analysis on Noximilien Coxen the Watchmaker from Wakfu, and it's going pretty smoothly, I should be able to publish it as of tomorrow.

In the meantime, I thought about making a second survey to see what each and every one of you wants to see first between these projects:

Lord Shen's horrifying humanity: an analysis of Lord Shen in the same vein as my Tai Lung's one; I've recently rewatched both of the Kung Fu Panda movies after so many years, AND IT WAS SOOOOOOO GOOD. While watching the second one, however, I've noticed something that I've never seen: how the film focuses so much on Shen's emotional state, and how it helps him to become one of the greatest baddies in all of animation.

Doll and Andrew Graves comparison: remember all the times when I've said I was going to make a comparison post between Nox from Wakfu and Doll from Murder Drones? Well, I'm still going to do that once episode 8 is out, but in the meantime, since both The Coffin Of Andy And Leyley and Murder Drones are unfinished products, I thought, sure why not? My only hope is to get the Andrew part right, I'm especially worried since there're new pieces of information regarding Julia and Rene that I still haven't seen, so I might need to get my facts checked.

How and Why Liam Vickers wrote Doll as a rather unsympathetic character: I feel like, when you really love something, you must be able to criticise it. And this is exactly the goal of this analysis, as I break down all of the problems with Doll's writing right from the conceptual issues down to her future and legacy.

Female villains tier list: a long time coming, and still a long time in the making. The problem is that I've accidentally published it ahead of time only to then remake it from scratch and still accidentally publish it, again. Also I've decided to watch the Kerubim movie to see if Julith was as good as I've heard. I imagine so, since it's a Wakfu antagonist, but I have to wait and see.

Dark Vlad analysis: I want to make an analysis on every main antagonist of Wakfu, and since I can finally watch season 4 and maybe the movie, that includes Toross and Julith. But there's one minor, one-off antagonist that I also want to talk about; what is, in my opinion, the best villain from season 3 and the single greatest twist villain in all of fiction: the title itself is actually misleading, as I'll be talking about Goultard himself.

To find a way to spend the time while the survey ends, I'll be writing about the insanely untapped potential of Rebecca from Murder Drones.

@rad10active-ketchup , @rebecca-babe , @zobjilan77 , please, send me your ideas if you want to see them discussed as I'm not normally a Rebecca fan so I could use some help to get everything right.

[dramalets]

2024 Watch List pt2

Mr Unlucky has no choice but to kiss - Very, very cute and silly without being slapstick. This gets a bit lost in its own soup and after about episode 4 it drags some. Also just a bizarre and somewhat anticlimactic ending. The leads are lovely though and they do work well together. 3/5 (22/2/24)

What did you eat yesterday S1 - Just perfect. Watching Shiro & Kenji grow together over the episodes is a treat. This is as warm and tender as it is brilliantly observed and funny. A true must watch. 5/5 (24/2/24)

The Sign - This just got lost in itself. It had moments of absolute perfection but there were, for me, too many threads it didn’t tie up. Personally I liked this show the most in its procedural show parts and less in its fantasy elements, where I feel it had the most work to do. This isn’t one I’ll rewatch but I did enjoy the journey. 3/5 (25/2/24)

If it’s with you - Lovely is the best word for this. Just a little warm hug of a thing. A sweet story of first love. 4/5 (26/2/24)

I became the main role of a BL drama - Very soft and silly. Not much happens but the leads are lovely and fun to watch. Would kind of love a spin off about the managers if I’m honest. Zero complaints. Just a cute, easy, quick watch. 3/5 (27/2/24)

Kabe Koji - Very enjoyable. Absolutely loved the manga come to life concept of this one. It was super fun to look at. Personally, I think this could have done with maybe 1 or 2 more episodes. Neither character felt as explored as I would have liked. A nice watch nonetheless :) 3/5 (27/2/24)

The Man who defies the world of BL s1 & 2 - This is so unbelievably funny and well observed. Atsuhiro is a master at comedic faces and they never feel slapstick or overdone. Loved every silly second. 4/5 (28/2/24)

Candy Colour Paradox - This isn’t the best acted thing and the chemistry is only so-so it also really starts to drag in places. (Inserting Izuka Kenta into a multiple episode arc was a choice because he’s incredible and it only serves to highlight the so-so of the leads.) Having said all these things it still has a charm and I still enjoyed watching it. Just perhaps not one I’ll be itching to rewatch or suggest to friends. 3/5 (28/2/24)

Perfect Propose - A sweet six episode watch that’s really all about being human. Kai has to realise that being part of peoples lives is both terrifying but necessary and Hiro must learn to value the role he plays in the world. Just a gorgeous little watch. 4/5 (1/3/24)

Kei x Yaku - Is this a BL? Not really? It’s more like gay romance is heavily inferred but here is a messed up, lovely little found family so enjoy that. This is so much fun and I can’t rec it highly enough. Very much just tune in and have fun. 4/5 (1/3/24)

Cherry Magic - Zero notes. Absolute perfection. TayNew supremacy. 5/5 (2/3/24)

My Personal Weatherman - Just bored me honestly. It’s not bad but it’s not as good as some make it out to be. I think if I’d watched this before the novelist I might have liked it more? Not something I’ll reach for again. 3/5 (3/3/24)

My Beautiful Man s1&2 - This is very Japanese and, on paper, should not have worked for me at all. In practice tho? I loved this. I understand the reasons this is controversial but I also think if you go into this without any of the disk horse you’ll just see it for what it is; a love story between two broken boys with piss poor communication skills and self esteem issues. 4/5 (5/3/24)

My Beautiful Man Eternal - This movie is the third part of the beautiful man series. I genuinely think you could skip s2 and go straight in for this. It delivers what I would have wanted, but was impossible to give in four episodes, from s2. We see Hira and Kiyoi’s growth as individuals and also together and we finish with them as equals, with Kiyoi speaking to his king Hira. Beautifully shot, excellently acted. Will watch again. 5/5 (6/3/24)

[burn-this-bloggo]

2+ Star Axl/Sue Episodes of "The Middle" Season 7 (After Ep. 13)

This is based on @heckcest's episode commentaries. I loved their guide to Axl/Sue episodes, but unfortunately they stopped mid-season 7, so I decided to do my own continuation so that newer fans of the ship (like a handful of you, if even) will know which episodes are worth watching. But to be honest, I'm mainly doing this for myself so I can gush. If you've seen @heckcest's commentaries, you'll notice that I have simplified my descriptions, focusing only on Axl/Sue commentary, and my way of rating may be slightly different. Let me know how you'd rate these episodes and I may even make some adjustments.

My General Rating System:

1 star - They're both in the episode, but don't interact much, or at least not notably. I won't be writing about these, so you can skip these episodes if you're just looking for Axl/Sue moments.

2 stars - They're both in the episode and may not interact much, but maybe there's just one little line or moment I feel like deserves to be pointed out. These episodes can be skipped, or you can just watch the scene I point out if you really feel like it.

3 stars - The episode has a plot revolving around the two of them. OR they may not have a plot revolving around them, but there's a very notable moment they have. You should probably watch these episodes.

4 stars - An Axl and Sue centric episode. OR there's just a lot of good Axl/Sue moments -- showing affection, getting along, a heartfelt interaction, and all that bubbly stuff. Definitely watch these ones!

5 stars - The best of the best in MY opinion! You just gotta watch them! And then rewatch them!

((Spoilers ahead!))

Episode Ratings and Commentary:

Ep. 15 | "Hecks at a Movie" | 2 stars | As the title implies, the Hecks go to a movie. Sue and Axl sit next to each other! That's it.

Ep. 17 | "The Wisdom Teeth" | 5 STARS | !!!!! LITERALLY EVERYTHING. Basically, Sue and Axl get their wisdom teeth removed at the same time and Frankie is excited to care for them both TOGETHER as they recover. While still loopy from the drugs on the ride home from the dentist, Axl admits that he thinks Sue is really nice and that he loves her. Brick records this. They both rest on the couch. I like to imagine some cuddling was involved. The next day while sober, they see the recording. Sue figures out Axl's insecurity about showing vulnerability and he is in TURMOIL. I've never seen him like this in any other episode! And she's all like, "Say it, Axl. Say you love me." On another note, it's always funny when the older siblings kind of look down on Brick (idk a better way to phrase that. Poor Brick. He is objectively the best character). The ending with the fork is very sweet. This whole episode feels like a fanfiction! Axl makes so many cute expressions in this one, so expect lots of screenshots!

Ep. 19 | "Crushed" | 3 stars | Sue gets a crush on her professor, and like I totally get it, but it is kinda hard to watch lol. Axl doesn't have much of a plot, but he does just randomly show up to Sue's dorm and lay in her bed. He teases about dating her roommate, which she adamantly refuses to let happen. Then later in the episode, he hides in her bed and it's great! There's not a lot of moments between the two, but the little tiny bit there is is wonderful, so that's why I was originally unsure if it's a 2 or 3 star on the Heckcestometer. (I'm still figuring out this whole rating system). But in the end I decided that this one definitely deserves a watch if you're looking for some cute Axl & Sue scenes <3

Ep. 22 | "Not Mother's Day" | 4 stars | Again, Sue and Axl don't interact a lot in this episode BUT when they do towards the end, it's great!! Axl is so sweet towards Sue! When Sue is crying on the couch after losing her bedroom to Brick, Mike getting Woofy repaired (it's just not the same), and feeling anxious about being on her own for the summer, Axl comes over to console her. Like, actually console her. No sarcasm, or mean gestures, or anything. He tells her she's ready to be on her own and then helps to bring Woofy back to its former glory. And in the end, he even offers to let her share his bedroom?! Which she gratefully agrees to. Um, hello?! I wish we actually got to see them share the room, but maybe leaving it for the imagination is more fun ;)

Ep. 23 | "Find My Hecks" | 5 STARS | Just. Wow. I can't believe there's already another 5 star episode?! Maybe I'm overexaggerating because I just watched the episode? No, it's for sure a 5 star. Okay, there's so much to say here. Right off the bat we see Sue and Axl just chilling out on the couch and genuinely getting along and being lazy together. Apparently they're still sharing a room together too! Idk why I thought that was just like a one time thing last episode. We see them then chilling in their room together. There's no fighting nor animosity towards each other at all. In fact, practically none throughout the episode. Axl even invites Sue to a party, and they stay out past curfew and get pancakes together! Too bad we don't get to see that though. Their parents get upset at them for staying out so late and set their curfew to 10. Well, of course Axl convinces Sue to ignore the curfew and they go out partying again. It's like they're dating!! There's so much here left to the imagination, heheh. Mike and Frankie don't bug the kids about the curfew thing because they're secretly tracking them on their phones, but one night the phone glitches out and makes it appear like they're stuck in a ditch somewhere. The parents go out frantically to find their kids, only for Axl and Sue to come home to a parentless home. Turns out Axl has also been secretly tracking the parents on his phone and sees they're in a ditch somewhere. Axl and Sue both rush out to save they're parents. Finally they all reunite, but it becomes a bit of a parents vs Axl & Sue argument about all the secret tracking. It's really cute seeing Axl and Sue teaming up so much in this episode!! It feels like their dynamic has certainly changed since "The Wisdom Teeth" episode. Like they've been getting along a lot more. Gosh, there's so much more I could say about this episode, but it's already getting too long. Just WATCH IT! Probably one of my favorite episodes ever.

Ep. 24 | "The Show Must Go On" | 2 Stars | They hardly interact. But wait, hear me out -- "Sue being in a dorky costume. Can't miss that." ~ Axl. asdhfgskjlgs. They also sit next to each other a few times and they're dressed up so cutely.

[hopeymchope]

I almost always seem to have the minority opinion on media. And I'm really sick of it now.

I've been on a Fire Emblem kick again lately. But unfortunately, as much as I love all of the Fire Emblem games on 3DS? That's approximately how much I hate Fire Emblem: Three Houses on Switch. ....which is, of course, the most popular/successful game in the series to date.

Okay, look: In Fire Emblem, I really like the strategy-combat stuff and the storylines + support conversations. THAT'S the tasty meat. Anything else? Is irritating busywork to me. So if I spend between 2/3-3/4 of a supposed Fire Emblem game doing the other shit? You've crafted a great recipe to make me feel like I'm MOSTLY doing stuff I hate, and thusly I shall hate your game. And that's the START of the issue with Three Houses. (I must resist getting into the protagonist being a mute cipher OR how multiple side activities require blind luck or a guide to succeed OR bitching about the weak battle map design... oh shit oh SHIT I'M OUTING MYSELF, RUN FOR IT MARTY!)

By comparison, this year's Fire Emblem Engage feels like a step back in the right direction! I'm playing it a lot right now, and I'm mostly having a good time! Still more busywork than I want in these games, but it's at least back on the side of "more good than bad." So of course, if I look this game up and read any fan reviews or watch any videos... they're all about how disapppointing and sucky it is in comparison.

God. Of COURSE they are.

I really don't know why the advances they made with Fire Emblem Echoes haven't carried into the newer games. 3D dungeons you can explore for items and enemy encounters in a Persona-like fashion? Genius! Make it the template going forward! ..... What's that? Not even most fans bothered to buy or play that game??? So no one fucking cares about that feature?

.........fucking hell. Of COURSE they don't.

See, this is how it always goes for me. If I fall in love with a movie, I'll later learn it's either hated or ignored by its own fandom or by the masses at large. If I get emotionally invested in some weird game and its characters? There's a high probability that almost no one played it. And those who did? They didn't like it as much as me. If I think a game is really annoying and full of boring shit? Great reviews, huge fandom, etc.

I could make an utterly wild fucking list of things I like/love that other people hate. And the same is true in reverse. Sometimes, even when I agree with the hate on something, I don't agree with ANY of the reasons for WHY other people hate it!

Before you ask: It doesn't matter whether I know the "majority opinion" in advance of seeing/experiencing something, or I have no clue wht people think of something until I look it up later. I've gone to many midnight premieres of movies that weren't yet screened for critics, and I typically always wind up on the wrong side of the majority. I've played obscure games just because the premise sounded good, fallen in love with them, gone looking for a fandom... and found out that everybody thinks said game is utter shit.

So I'm not just being contrarian; this shit comes NATURALLY.

However, I should make some caveats about this weirdness clear:

Sometimes I feel like I'm on the wrong side of JUST the outspoken part of the audience... but there's evidence to support that my own stance maybe ISN'T so weird. For example: My family and I have always loved 2009's Avatar. We never were dressing up like the goddamn Na'vi or anything so fanatical, but we've rewatched it many times over the years. We regularly quote it to each other around the house. And the massive success of that movie (and its recent sequel) seems to back up that this admiration/enjoyment isn't THAT crazy or esoteric, RIGHT? It's just that the Internet is extremely outspoken about Avatar supposedly being lame and totally unmemorable. Remember how people in 2022 kept being like "You can't remember even three character names from that movie! Nobody quotes it!" and shit like that? I was one of the people going "I will list you NINE characters and spew DOZENS of quotes at you."

My "minority opinion" thing only stretches so far. It's not like I thought The Room was the best movie I'd ever seen or angrily felt Tears of the Kingdom was the worst game I ever played. That would be beyond "minority" and more "MADNESS." There's a limit to this weirdness; it has to be within a certain degree of reason, you know? Some things just aren't POSSIBLE to totally flip the script on. Birdemic will always be embarrassingly terrible, and I refuse to believe anyone would legitimately feel otherwise. OK?

This isn't completely universal, either. There are always exceptions where I actually wind up on the right side of the majority. They're just... rarer than the other thing, honestly.

It gets exhausting to always feel like I'm on the defensive or at worst, utterly alone in how I think among the larger community. I don't want this anymore.

But I don't get a say, clearly. I'm just going to keep doing this. I'm going to go see a movie on opening weekend and think "Wow, what an awful piece of shit" only to find that DECADES LATER, people still cite it as one of the best movies in its genre. I'm going to adore a modern revival of a classic comic book, then I'll go online and find that it's widely considered an abomination before god. This is who I am. It's just REALLY tiring to be here.

[girlfriendline]

15 People 15 Questions

ty for the tag @babygirlboberrey 💛

1. are you named after anyone?

no, but i was very almost named after perdita from in 101 dalmations until my dad stepped in and said absolutely not to the pregnancy hormones. ftr my mother maintains to this day it wouldn't have been a bad name. can you imagine. perdy.

2. when was the last time you cried?

within the last week for sure. it's just such a wonderful time of the year.

3. do you have kids?

nope, and that's never going to change. i neither want kids, nor would be a good mother, and i have a hard enough time looking after myself lmao.

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

i used to competitively swim through high school (although not in the way i think that equates to in the us), and i played football (soccer) on and off. the big one was show jumping, i made it all the way up to competing internationally for gbr. i used to wake up and ride at 5am before school and then again after school which, looking back, was quite frankly insane. i took being the weird horse girl Very Seriously.

5. do you use sarcasm?

more than other people probably appreciate.

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

i've honestly never considered this before this question but i think maybe clothes??? or colours of clothes? i'm not sure why either, i never remember them.

7. what’s your eye color?

blue ish

8. scary movies or happy endings?

if i'm alone, happy endings. if i'm with a bunch of people, scary movies. i'm a baby. i need emotional support.

9. any talents?

i'm very good at horses. i've never lost anything when i've been drunk. i can type much faster than i should physically be able to considering i use three fingers total. i can water ski (fairly useless tbh). i'm also very good at bringing animals home from the streets (my family would argue this is not a talent but a curse). i can sing, sort of.

10. where were you born?

uk

11. what are your hobbies?

watching hockey. suffering through f1. reading. running. hiking. swimming. playing guitar (badly). apparently lately building my own furniture. rewatching the same three tv shows over and over again. making gifs when the divine inspiration strikes. playing sims. baking.

12. do you have any pets?

four cats: a grumpy ginger and white old aged pensioner called spike (actually. maybe this is just claude giroux in cat form); loulou, who looks way too posh to have come from the streets; mishka, the love of my life my sweet angel baby darling who never does any wrong; and pasha, demon void cat who followed me home 3 months before i moved countries (and wasn't that a headache and a half) and who's probably going to send someone (me) to an early grave.

two dogs: indy, looks exactly like a fox, found her in the desert outside the rescue centre and they refused to take her in. she's my little mountain dog. and alfie, who we rescued 6 months ago, and who is best described as 'imagine there's a velociraptor in your home but the velociraptor is on fire and also your home is on fire and also you are on fire and also'. he's majority german shorthaired pointer. iykyk.

13. how tall are you?

between 5'8 and 5'9

14. favorite subject in school?

i used to love maths because it required a lot less brain power and subjective answers than everything else. in uni, my forensic science classes, or the only enjoyable thing from my first time round at uni, some fake ass course to build up credits called 'the universe as an art' which consisted of going outside to look at the stars and writing a poem about the moon.

15. dream job.

training horses. which sort of was my job that i had to give up when i moved here :)

i think a lot of people have already been tagged but @yabagofmilfs @amandaleveille @girldewar @tblueger @masonshaws @babygirlspurgeon

[my-name-is-bunnyfoxy]

After seeing the TMNT: Mutant Mayhem movie where would u place the MM characters? I know u were wondering if Rise Leo could go from 3rd to 4th, with MM Leo 4th (I think) to 3rd in ur rankings. Once u actually see the movie proper.

(Honestly, me myself have Tmnt 2012, IDW, Rise, and 2003 are probably in my top 4. Though I don’t know which order, except Tmnt 2012 is probably #1. And MM Leo, from what I have seen of him could be up there w/ them too. I’m thinking about it).

So I’m curious about ur new rankings now that u saw the movie.

(I have kinda mixed feelings, on MM Leo maybe taking Rise Leo’s 3rd spot for u. Because on 1 hand, I love Rise Leo a lot, and think he is a very complex boy.

(On the other hand, I also love MM Leo from what I have seen of him, and I’m happy to see how much love MM Leo has been getting by people. So mixed feelings, lol. I’m still curious on ur rankings though. And this is is ur own opinions too. This is just me rambling, ahaha.)

If your talking about where I'd place the boys when it comes to my top favorite versions of each of the turtles well it's somewhat tough ngl.

With Leo, he is still in a tie with Rise Leo to be either my 3rd or 4th favorite. I love the silly guy a lot and he is such a cutie patotie. I'm still mixed on how I should rank him. Although he is in my top 5 favorite Leo's. For anyone curious my top 5 are 2012, 2003, Rise, MM and 2007.

Raph, I don't know man, tough one. I suppose 6 or 5?? IDW might come back to being one of my favorite Raph's again because ngl looking back I feel like I bashed him too much even though I haven't red the IDW comics. I have finally started to thanks to a moot of mine who sent me a link to where I can read all of the IDW issues. So maybe IDW Raph will come back into the game. Who knows. Also for anyone curious about my top 5 Raph's, it's 2007, 2003, 2012, Rise and like mentioned either MM or IDW (Considering bayverse and 90s up for the challenge...)

Mikey, easily 4th in my opinion. I love him so much and I've seen people suspect he might end up having some major story when the show comes out and if something might happen or he goes thru an arc of sorts. I really hope that happens! So right now, Last Ronin, IDW, 2003, MM and I guess 2012 or TMNT vs Batman maybe.

Donnie at last, I think he is fit to be 3rd. I don't know, I love how he is just a nerdy nerd. I think the reason why is because he has so many funny moments and I love his personality. I do hope we see him be more of a tech guy as well. For now, 2003, bayverse, MM, IDW most likely and I suppose MAYBE 2007 or 2012 or probably Batman vs TMNT. I'm trying here okay.

This might change, especially since there will apparently be a two season cartoon coming next year. So let's see how my boys do!

Also I'll probably make new rankings for the turtles. I've got some catching up to do on more TMNT's and also some episodes to rewatch and or finish-

[screentime-princess]

Some thoughts on Titans (hbo max) now that show ended.

(In my head it's not over, bc I'm big on rewatching things so... anyways)

Okay. So first thing I want to make clear is that I'm super new to DC and stuff. I've seen arrowverse, most of it, and some movies, also I really like and care about these characters even though show isn't the best, as I hear everyone say and I kinda agree. But still I like the show!!!

Another thing is that I've seen a lot of people hate on this show and I get that it's not the best show, like writing is sometimes very iffy but I think that it's a good introduction to these characters for someone who has never seen anything or read the comics or stuff like that.

Next one is that I am one season short of finishing Gotham and then I plan on watching DC Animated Universe. So I guess my opinions from this post, might change in the future.

So yeah. Here it goes.

I liked the way first season focused on characters and not so much story even though the bigger story was always it like in the back of the episode(s). But I really enjoyed the fact that it was focused mainly on characters of Dick, Hank. Dawn etc. Who they are as people and how what happened to them is influencing their actions. I really liked every character introduction fr.

Even though I watched the show in like few weeks and then waited for last few episodes to come out week by week, I feel like they should have made Dick and Kory cannon or whatever way sooner. They did, kinda, in those dreams/hallucinations, but still, as much as I like this little kind of open ending, I feel like they have so much chemistry, and it just should've happened sooner. When they were in Gotham that Barbara again storyline, I don't know. That wasn't my cup of tea. Also, the flashback episode with Aqualad in season 2, why introduce a character to be killed?! Give us something else than a cute little love story between Donna and Garth and then pain. I don't know. It was so sudden and I don't like character deaths just for the sake of story line.

One thing I did really like was Gar and Rachel, from the beginning from their first meet-cute in the arcade. It was so freaking cute. The fact that they are different, special, that mutual understanding and acceptance ugh. I don't know why we didn't get that like cannon confirmation that they are a thing. We got all those like little cute scenes of them sitting together and stuff but I don't know, I just needed something real just as for Dick and Kory.

As for other characters, I really liked everyone. Conner's little split good and evil personas. Dawn is the most gentle soul I love her so much. Hank was annoying at moments but he was fine. Donna is the beauty, she is grace. <Tim3 (that's how I feel about him). (And I rant about Jason later, wait for it). I don't know what to say like, I really really liked everyone.

Now, maybe I do a separate post about season 4 because it's the, you know, the freshest one in my head but I did rewatch some of the episodes so idk.

As I'm writing this, I see that it's not all like in chronological order as the seasons progress, but I hope you get the gist of it. I wanted to say that I cannot imagine in my head waiting entire week for the episode about Connor after Jason gets dropped off a building even though I knew that's not how he dies fr, I was scared shitless, like, I love him so much, I don't know. Also that fucking scene on the roof killed me, like it seriously messed me up and no one ever talked about it ever again (him being suicidal). Also Dick going of alone every chance he gets to do stupid shit that would 100% get him killed (babe have you heard of therapy, no?).

The thing that bothered me the most, throughout the entire show is how only Gar seemed to care about others. He was the only one to care about anyone. Only one who gave a fuck when Jason died. Like when Kory was mad @ Jason for "getting himself killed"<<<< (what?). He was the only one that was trying to find out what happened to Jason and how he came back. And he did find out (Go Gar).

I know now that that is most likely because of his connection to all the things dead and living, but they explained it very late in the show, so for someone who has no background knowledge, it was confusing.

Major thing that bothers me -> Why is everyone hating on... Literally everyone. Like these people, actors and actresses did in my opinion, amazing job. Considering the writing, okay?

Like let's be fucking for real. This is the first live action adaptation of these characters. And it could have been so much worse. Let's be honest. It could have been so.much.worse. But it's fine and I think that if people are just okay, with something being different, it would have been fine. Like it doesn't have to be the same as in comics. And from what I heard, there are many interpretations of these characters in different comics and different animated series. I don't understand why everything has to be by the book. Like I've been a MCU fan for a while. And l feel like as much as Marvel fans are like haters at the bottom of their souls (not as much as Star Wars fans) and they are (haters), I feel like they appreciate change a little more. (Haters comment is about fanboys don't get ne wrong babes)

It's fine that it's different. Different is okay. Most of hate I've seen is about Jason. And I don't know, like, people calling him a whining c word?!?!?!? Sorry, why is it bad that he's portrayed with more emotions? Or him feeling like he is not good enough (relatable) and always being second thought would bring anyone to tears (it brought me to tears). So why is that a bad thing in portrayal of this character? Like I said, I know very little about his character and I feel like this introduction is fine, it made me care about him. Isn't that what other people in the fandom want? For other people to care. Why does it have to be a specific version? It made me care. That should be enough no? It made me want to learn more about these characters. So why is everyone so offended by this version of Jason Todd? It doesn't make any sense in my head. I was literally losing my shit watching episode 11 of season 4. Last week was peek of my existence because of him showing up again. I have no words.

So yeah, I don't know. I have so many thoughts about this show and no one to talk to because my friends are lame, not watching the same shows I'm watching, watching Bridgerton and shit (no hate to Bridgerton fans).

<3 if you read it all, thank you <3

[roseposts-stuff]

good evening!!! rating doctor who series 4 + specials today because i posted series 3 ages ago:D regular reminder that these are my opinions, my opinions change daily and in general i'm a pretty positive person and i'm just "oh great vibes i love this" :D

1. Midnight - so so so so good istg, writing is brilliant, acting is brilliant, the concept is brilliant, it's just so good. i love how it's set in such a tiny space and i still wasn't bored at any point, sky's actor killed it and so did david tennant, and i loved how the end showed how much it affected the doctor and it was just so cool. i could talk about this episode forever and it remains as one of the best dw episodes for me

2. The Waters of Mars - again, SO good i adore this episode, it's so cool to see the doctor kinda become the villain, like we want him to succeed but we also know he definitely should NOT succeed and it's brilliant. once again the acting is amazing and i loved the general vibe too, very spooky!!! and the side characters were great imo, i felt really bad for everyone who didn't survive :(

3. Silence in the Library / Forest of the Dead - this story was great when i first watched it and became even better on a rewatch. the vashta nerada are such great villains imo and river song is a great character and it's so interesting how her and the doctor meet in the wrong order, also this is visually so so beautiful and i love it so much!!!!

4. Turn Left - once again such a good episode, i love the social commentary, it was cool to see rose return properly after seeing cameos the whole series and i loved how the episode focused on donna and just the whole concept was great

5. The Doctor's Daughter - love love love this episode, i love jenny (and georgia tennant) and how donna makes the doctor realise that they're not that different after all, i liked the story and the twist that the war had been going on for a week, like what??? once again donna shined, she's brilliant, and martha too!! i loved her and the hath and i was SO SAD when the hath died, freema agyeman's acting almost had me crying and david tennant made me cry when jenny died 😭 (this is a huge achievement btw i almost never cry because of movies or books etc, seriously i've cried because of some media maybe 5 or 6 times in my entire life)

6. Planet of the Ood - i really like this episode and i was so happy the ood finally got free and are now living happily. the first time they appeared it really rubbed me the wrong way that they just "liked being slaves" and i'm glad they got to be free. i loved donna and how kind and empathetic she was, she's so amazing. also i think this episode was again visually very beautiful too

7. The Stolen Earth / Journey's End - i like this finale so much, yes it's mostly because of all the companions coming together and not so much the story, but that doesn't matter 🗣‼️ absolutely heartbreaking when donna lost her memory :(

8. The End of Time (part 1) / The End of Time (part 2) - i could actually talk for hours about the scenes between 10 and wilf btw, all of them are so important and wilf is 100% 10's father figure i'm so ill. the return of time lords was so interesting to me and the way 10 kept refusing to take the gun but when he found out time lords were coming and took it was somehow really impactful for me like i was like "oh okay so it's _THIS_ not good okay", the master was so goofy when he was just randomly jumping around it was so weird lol, loved how 10 said goodbye to all his companions, also 10's regeneration gave me so much emotional damage it took me 5 days to be able to start 11's era when i first watched this

9. Partners in Crime - this episode was so fun, highlight definitely being the doctor and donna's muted discussion through the glass, it was hilarious, also how they kept walking past each other was so funny

10. Voyage of the Damned - i really liked everyone except the one guy who survived 🥰 but like that was kinda the point so it's okay, i loved mr copper he was adorable and astrid was so sweet, 10 got to say "allons-y alonso" so that's great too!!! the story itself was also pretty good imo

11. The Sontaran Stratagem / The Poison Sky - i loved having martha back and enjoyed this story very much. i loved that martha called the doctor out on his hypocrisy and i loved how martha and donna bonded. loved 10 and donna as always, 10 was so silly fpr being grammar police lmao, and i liked that in the end rattigan redeemed himself, i'm always there for sort of giving people second chances and letting them realise they were wrong and trying to fix that

12. The Unicorn and the Wasp - as someone who has watched a lot of david suchet as poirot, this is so agatha christie it was so much fun, i loved that this was a sort of explanation for why christie disappeared and it definitely had some really funny moments lmao, i didn't like the wasp thing it was a tiny bit too weird and cringe for me, but honestly i'll let it be, this is doctor who lol

13. The Next Doctor - i liked the "next doctor" and? rosita? i think that was her name, and honestly i enjoyed the story, it was nice, and the endibg was really sweet in my opinion

14. The Fires of Pompeii - peter capaldi!!! this episode had some doctor donna silliness which is always great, and i loved donna so much, i would like to be like her guys, but the overall story didn't interest me much

15. Planet of the Dead - i liked the people in the bus and the weird bug aliens whatever, they were sweet, and it had some really adorable moments, but i absolutely hated christina 😭 like she annoyed me so much it's unreal, i dont even know why exactly but i really really didn't like her and i'm so glad she only appeared in this one episode 💀

THERE WE ARE!!!! safe to say that series 4 is definitely one of my favourite series!!! hope to post series 5 at some point too, i like making these rankings :)

[veliseraptor]

Top 5 animated movies?

I see asks like this one for this meme and I'm like "lise what if you just wrote a short and simple response listing movies, then maybe you would actually end up answering all your meme asks" and then my brain goes "nope <3" and I end up with five paragraphs. I'm just not very good at shutting up.

anyway!

1. The Last Unicorn. This is the "no-brainer" one for me because I always feel like this is just...such an important piece of media, and it's one of those things where when I show it to new people I feel very vulnerable about it and kind of go "please understand that in sharing this with you I am showing you my vulnerable underbelly and if you hate it don't tell me." I don't even know that I could articulate why exactly, but it occupies a very particular place in my heart that few other pieces of media can claim to have. I have watched it so many times and here I am going "maybe I should rewatch it today, actually. plug in my external cd drive and pull out the dvd and everything." It's like that.

2. Princess Mononoke. Another one that came to me immediately as I was coming up with this list. I'm pretty sure I watched it a little too young and the opening scene with the boar creature vs. Ashitaka kind of scarred me a little bit but...lord, what a movie. It's beautiful visually and as a story I also love it. I feel like chronologically Spirited Away was my first Studio Ghibli I remember, but this was the one I latched onto. ngl, the fact that there are wolves in it probably helped.

3. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. It started to get a little harder here, but then I remember how I felt when I saw a caption referencing a song from this movie's soundtrack (thanks for the bangers, Bryan Adams! unexpected but I'm grateful) and went "!!!!" like my brain was lighting up like a lightbulb. So yeah, I'm going to say this is an important one. You can take the horses away from the horsegirl but you can't take the horsegirl out of the girl. or something like that. And this was one of my horsegirl movies. I also just now remembered the paint by numbers extras that were on the dvd that I was weirdly obsessed with, so that's cool.

4. Watership Down. Actually this one should've been third and I don't know how I forgot it! I joke that the fact that the animated movies I rewatched most as a kid were this one and The Last Unicorn and that probably explains a lot of things, but honestly it might. This movie has a reputation that's in some ways bigger than it deserves (though the destruction of the warren segment is pretty much as awful as everybody says it is), but it is also just legit a really good story and well-adapted into a movie, in my opinion. I watched the remake and was profoundly disappointed mostly because I felt like the animation style was boring, and one thing this movie definitely had going for it was the style.

5. Atlantis: the Lost Empire. I almost went with The Lion King but then I remembered this movie, and, yeah. What a film. Truly everyone who has talked about the brief period where things were very weird and therefore very interesting at Disney were right. Also Helga probably turned me gay (and specifically gay for female villains), I just didn't notice until later.

Honorable mentions to The Lion King, The Rescuers Down Under, and Mulan. And probably several others I'm forgetting that I'll think of as soon as I hit post.

There are definitely the animated movies I want to see, most notably Song of the Sea, because I suspect I would really like them. I am just terminally bad at watching movies, you know.

shout out to The Secret of the Seal though, which was a movie where I sort of thought one of my sisters and I shared a collective hallucination until finally I managed to track it down with something like "seal macaroni penguin animated movie." not to be confused with the 1992 anime film Tottoi, mind you.

...though considering now that I'm looking again all I can find to prove its existence is a cover, I'm beginning to wonder again. The Rotten Tomatoes page I thought was going to take me to it returns a 404 not found.

IT WAS REAL she screamed as they dragged her away. I SWEAR IT WAS A REAL MOVIE

[icey--stars]

rip the tags, but thank you @acourtofladydeath for the tag!! <3 (starting a new post so we don't make it too long)

Tag nine (9) people you’d like to know better

Last Song: Daylight by David Kushner (i have an ADDICTION to this song)

Currently Reading: well, fanfiction, naturally. I'm mostly re-reading at this moment for the fun of it! (mostly gay acotar ones like azris or poly! things lmao) I'm also technically in the process of rereading the throne of glass series (sitting on heir of fire at the moment), but i've been quite... lazy when it comes to actually reading it rn lol but my next book i should be reading is Fourth Wing! (its a real struggle to escape acotar lol)

Currently Watching: The Dragon Prince on netflix! i've watched seasons 1-3 before, but now i've got to power through 4 (and maybe 5? idk if it actually came out considering i don't check that often lol) i have a few movies on a list (like titanic, rewatching lord of the rings, braveheart, etc.) i should be watching, but alas, i am lazy and incapable of paying attention that long lmao

Current obsession: well, there's a very particular gay couple in The Dragon Prince and my brain would NOT let go of me, so the current obsession is a fanfic reuniting them and me basically saying fuck canon yet again. i also have an odd fascination with poly! relationships right now in general. i am not questioning the why for it lol (most notably in acotar or tog is rowaelin x fenrys, nessian x azriel, the bat boys, feysand x azriel orrrr elucien x azriel. apparently i like shoving azriel into their relationships because he deserves love)

tagging with absolutely no preassure (also sorry if you've already been tagged)... @itsagirlwithglasses, @florence-end, @azrielsoulmate, @leafsandstarlight, @ladylokilaufeyson5, @cosmic-whispers, @iftheshoef1tz, @illyrian-dreamer, @bunnymallowo

[facetsofthecloset]

9 people you would like to know better

tagged by @vonlipvig, thanks!

1. 3 ships: Glenda/Mr.Nutt from Unseen Academicals, Adora/Moist from Going Postal etc., uhhh shoot do I even have a non-Discworld ship I actively care about ummmm

OH let’s go for the classic Gay Attorneys Phoenix/Edgeworth lol

2. first ever ship: hmmm. Probably Ranma/Akane from the middle school days. Tbh nowadays I feel like Akane is a lesbian actually but it could work out if they grow up and Ranma becomes more comfortable identifying as gender-fluid or gender neutral

3. last song: I’ve been binging podcasts for the past week or so but I’ve also been playing Stardew Valley while listening, so probably whatever track I last heard there lol

Oh wait I had a midnight crisis last night and listened to The Horror and the Wild by The Amazing Devil a lot so there we go

4. last movie: i genuinely don’t remember, but I think I recently rewatched Nausicaa?

5. currently reading: nothing technically bc I just finished the new Murderbot audiobook but that said GO READ (or listen to, even though the narrator of the audiobook is TERRIBLE at pronouncing names) MURDERBOT DIARIES I PROMISE IT’S WORTH IT

I mean if you’re not a fan of the sarcastic first person narrative format maybe you won’t like it but it’s very well done. It’s my kind of sci-fi, in that it focuses less on tech and worldbuilding (although there’s plenty of that) and more on character and how the worldbuilding actually affects the people in it

6. currently watching: my favorite hbomberguy and Folding Ideas video essays on loop. Although it’s usually as background while I play video games soooo watching might not be the right word lol

7. currently consuming: food-wise nothing; I’m at the doctor’s office waiting room for physical therapy. Media-wise, have been listening to a lotttt of Behind the Bastards, started with the Kissinger stuff. Really makes me think emotional intelligence/healthy coping mechanisms should be taught officially or something. Sure, some people will still be awful but I think at least some people would wind up NOT committing atrocities y’know

8. currently craving: Kailua pig. Or like, one really, really good avocado. The ones back home are probably in season now and yet I am trapped in the temperate zone where no one knows when an avocado is ripe and just toss in some hard green cubes

9. tagging @mariegoos (thanks again for the Murderbot rec!) @bittersweet-poppy @petrabasil @darkprincecait if any of you want to!

[stillpreoccupiedwith1985]

BTTF Year-End Tag Game!

I was tagged by @cheriboms! Thanks for the tag!

How many times would you guess you watched the first back to the future movie?

Ummm let’s see, I may say about 4 or 5, I forgot. However, I did go and watch it in theaters this year!

Did you get any sweet bttf merch? If so, what!

Okay so I hyperfixated this year and when that happens I start collecting. I got my Loungefly bag from 707 Street (still available!), the Lego DeLorean, a Marty Pop to go with my Doc that I had forever, and a Back to the Future cookbook.

How many cans of Pepsi Free did you chug this year?

None, the only Pepsi I like is Wild Cherry (and better than Cherry Coke). I am more of a Dr. Pepper girl.

What was a favorite bttf fanfic you read this year?

Again hyperfixated, so I devour fan works! One that I go back to is I Jump Off And Into Your Arms (But I Don’t Trust the Fall) by Goddess of Confusion

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49698481/chapters/125443009#workskin

Also It's a beautiful thing (two out of three ain't bad) by @penny-anna https://archiveofourown.org/works/50192956

I am a sucker for wing fics, but I also really love all of Penny’s works!

A favorite bttf fanart you saw this year? (please give us a link, not a screencap/repost!)

All of @future-boi’s work! Also the Animations that @cheriboms makes (especially the one with the audio from Bluey, Cheri you need to do one with the audio of Bandit saying ‘It was the 80’s!’ 😉)

Did you create any bttf fanart or fanfic? If you did, what one(s) are you proudest of?

I am currently working on a multi chapter fic that is a crossover with the podcast called The Bright Sessions, where Marty is getting therapy.

But I have made a one shot called Maybe We Should Get Married in the Chapel O’Love https://archiveofourown.org/works/51528580

It isn’t the greatest fic, mostly I wanted to get my thoughts down and I wanted tooth rotting fluff of Marty and Jennifer.

How many times were you late for school this year?

Okay so I am a teacher! Now we are contracted to be at the school at a certain time and pick/meet the students at a certain time. Have I been late for the contracted time this year? Yes, many times. Was I ever late getting the students? Never.

Did you watch any other movies/tv shows with BTTF actors in them?

SO MUCH CHRISTOPHER LLOYD! He is like everywhere! I was rewatching King of the Hill and at one point I was like ‘that grounds keeper sounds familiar.’ And it is Christopher Lloyd!

Michael J Fox is in my top favorite Disney movie! Atlantis The Lost Empire, I watch that movie at least once a year. I also played a bit of Homeward Bound this year for my students of Chance (the dog Michael J Fox voices) yelling ‘It’s Birdzilla!’

Also Elisabeth Shue in Adventures in Babysitting. Funny is one point I was thinking of a Jennifer adventure where she is watching Jules and Verne and it turns into Adventures in Babysitting and then I realized, ‘Wait that is the same actress!’

Pat Buttram who was Jeb also voices Napoleon in the Aristocats.

Was there a memorable moment you heard a Huey Lewis song this year?

I heard Back in Time in the car when I was on a weekend trip with other teachers this year and I had so much fun that weekend with them.

How many times did you fall down this year?

At least three, and that was playing kickball with my students at recess.

Did you get to see BTTF: The Musical? What was your experience like!

No.

Though I am working on a trip to New York to watch and go fabric shopping. Legit doing a two day trip. Fly in, see the musical, spend the night, day out, spend the night, and go home.

How many times did your mom retell the story of how she and your father met?

Because I live two hours away, most of the time when we call or see each other. We are catching up with each other. If she tells stories about the past, it is more of my late grandfather. More accurate is how many times my mom tells me about the pineapple story.

If you could describe your year in a BTTF quote, which one would it be?

I think it is a tie with “If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.” And “I finally invented something that works!” Mostly I was trying new thinks with my teaching and with cosplay.

⚡️LIGHTNING ROUND⚡️ Did you get to: go on any trains, skate on a skateboard, ride a horse, drive a Delorean, run in the rain, go to a dance, hang up a clock, play the guitar, pull an all-nighter, read science fiction, or drive thru Burger King this year?

No, no, no, no, yes, yes, yes, kind of, no, yes, and yes.

Your future is whatever you make it! So what are you going to make of this coming year?

Just pull myself out of my funk this year and go out more!

Cause I was late with this if you wish to do this you can!