#kabe koji

[bengiyo]

For the ask game: Framboise

Yes, I would like to declare my love for him again.

How I feel about this character

Every day I am trying to be this man. I love that he believes in the queer space they've created, but is clear about how he thinks people should contribute to and maintain it. I love him.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Shipping is a strong word, but I did enjoy the jokes of him falling for Nekoyashiki after he opened up a little bit. It's fun that the thing that sets him off is people showing kindness and regard for him.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Comica itself. This man loves his community so much.

My unpopular opinion about this character

That he's worth talking about at all seems to be the unpopular opinion! All of you, please go watch Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized! It's on Viki! We watch a lot of weaker shows! This wasn't one of them!

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Nekoyashiki needs to go to one of the socials with Framboise! My man deserves it!

[mikuni14]

15 Day BL Challenge - Day 15

Day 15: 5 Bestest Besties

I'm totally giving up on pretending and will officially break the "5 picks" rules on the last day of the challenge 😙 I'm sorry @negrowhat ! 🥺🥺

Yang, Tian and Phin, To Sir With Love

Tinn and Mr. Tiwson 👑, My School President

Tharn and Yai, The Sign (the famous scene where we all fell in love with Yai)

Korn, Knock and Yihwa, Together with me

Toh's crew, Secret Crush On You

Peem and Q, We Are

Charn and Rose, Laws of Attraction

Mamoru and Koharu, Kabe Koji

Wei Wuxian, Wen Ning and Wen Qing, The Untamed 💖

Aoki and Hashimoto, Kieta Hatsukoi

Wow, I made it to the end! Well done, me! Super proud!

Thank you for putting up with me and my constant rule breaking and my indecisive ass, always choosing more series than I should 😅

Thank you @negrowhat 😘

[ineffable-opinions]

BL doujin & Men Who Make Some of Them

If BL is stories of androphilic men by androphilic women, then what’s the opposite of that? It would probably be stories of androphilic women by androphilic men.

The latter is what Minamoto Kazuki mainly dabbles in.

Apart from straight & BL manga, he also authored Shoujo Manga Artist Minamoto-San Comes Out. Yeah, that’s the title. It is autobiographical if that wasn’t obvious. Arguably, his most famous manga, at least in BL fandom, is Wall Circle's Doujin Artist Nekoyashiki-Kun's Desire for Recognition Grows which got live-action adaptation: KabeKoji in 2022.

Androphilic male characters who create straight content is not rare in BL. In 2023, from what I can recall, we got two such characters: Sung Woo Jae from Individual Circumstances (2023) and Yoh from Taikan Yoho (2023). Jinta from Cherry Magic (2023) also writes (presumably straight) romance. Even before that, we got an entire BL live-action franchise (starting with The Novelist (2018)).

Doujin production and consumption

Doujinshi (doujin for short) is self-published works. It includes both derivative works (fan works) as well as original works. It is estimated that nearly half of the doujin produced and circulated are BL. These are traditionally sold at conventions like Comiket. These days doujin are sold online, for example through dedicated websites like DL site.

Doujinshi culture and Comiket especially has been instrumental in the development of BL as a genre. Unfortunately, unlike other BL pioneers such as Mari Mori (her 1961 novel A Lovers' Forest is considered the first BL) and the Year 24 Group, Meikyu doujin circle (Yoshihiro Yonezawa in particular) seldom find mention in history of BL.

BL doujin grew side by side with commercially published works. The original use of the portmanteau yaoi (no peak, no fall, no meaning) was an indication of plot what plot nature of those doujins that subverted the East Asian narrative structure to focuse exclusively on erotic relations. Doujin BL varied widely in themes and approaches, even more than commercial BL as doujin are not created to appeal to the masses, instead cater to super-specific fandoms. Also, it is easier to debut into doujin arena than to commercial BL. However, since these are literally ‘thin books’ in most cases, there is associated limitation. There is cost of printing to be taken into account as well.

As more explicit doujin (yaoi) and less explicit BL (shonen ai, etc.) coevolved in a porous environment, BL transformed into a successful genre in itself with numerous dedicated magazines and multimedia adaptations. Moreover, doujin was good ground for experimentation and yields in that arena made its way into mainstream BL and enriched it.

Commercial BL welcomed many doujinshika into its fold. e.g. Ayano Yamane (author of the Finder series) is associated with a bunch of doujin circles at different points in time: GUN MANIA, Shouhoku Taiiku Yougushitsu and Ouka Seisaku.

BL mangaka continued producing both doujin and commercial BL. e.g. Kizu Natsuki (author of Given) is a prolific doujinshika under the name Gusari in Sashikizu circle.

BL mangaka produced doujin of their own work. e.g. Ichikawa Kei (author of Blue Sky Complex) published erotic extras as doujin.

These days, there is pixiv among others and long serialization possibilities. Authors are less constrained by space – unlike physical publication, web publication is not constrained by real estate (number of pages, chapters, etc.). Thanks to the internet, the distance between doujin and commercial BL have shortened. 

A lot of gei comi (bara) is also self-published.

Doujin BL culture exists everywhere BL is famous with wide variation.

Doujin played an important role in emergence and growth of Korean BL. e.g. Totally Captivated by Yoo Ha Jin had doujin extras.

Chinese doujin culture is slightly different from that in other countries. Note-worthy is the self-publication of danmei (Chinese BL) novels. Three most recent cases against danmei authors [and their accomplices including those who helped the authors print, bind, package and sell those copies] were for self-publication.  

天一(Tian Yi) for her student X teacher SM erotica 攻占 (Seize Control)  - charged for self-publication and violation of law prohibiting publication of obscenity [explicit SM involving a 17-year-old student and his teacher in the novel]

深海先生 (Mr. Deep Sea) for her historical romance 锁帝翎 (aka 笼中帝 ; The Caged Emperor)  - charged for self-publication.

There is a third. But the details are not available in the public domain.

It used to be a common practice for authors to self-publish uncensored versions of their web-published works, sometimes with explicit extras. These were intended for fans who wanted to collect these copies and to express their appreciation to the authors. Both self-publishing and “obscene content” are illegal in China.

Doujin, BL and their creators

Kabe Koji is the journey of a doujinshika, Mamoru Nekoyashiki, who yearns to be recognized as such and also as a beloved. While in high school, he fell in love with his childhood friend Kazama Issei whom he is sure doesn’t like him like that, thanks to rampant compulsory heterosexuality. Being gay was something he felt he had to keep under wraps not only because of fear of rejection but also because of heterosexism. Talented in drawing, he visits Comic King, a popular otaku convention where he discovers a different world – where male androphilia is celebrated in art.

This inspires him to cultivate his talent in drawing and to pursue a career in manga. Since the art he was most drawn in by was ero-manga with macho uke with bitch characteristics, that’s the style he pursues.

When we meet him, this is the subgenre that we see him focusing on. His influences are pretty obvious.

Moreover, the main character (hence the target of affection in his work) looks a bit like his crush. Issei notices this and tries to draw himself like that (with disproportionately thin neck) in little notes and letters to his Mamocchi.

[I honestly think Nakao Masaki was bit of a miscast for this role appearance-wise because in the manga Issei is more on the gacchiri (muscular) side of ikemen. Whoever thought Torii-san’s uke from Fudanshi Bartender no Tashinami (2022) would be right fit for Issei’s character. The actor clearly didn’t disappoint in any other aspect. This is like the case with casting decision in One Room Angel (2023) wherein a manga character with gachimuchi aesthetics was changed into a lean ikemen. An opportunity for a different body-type was wasted. No complains against those actors since they aren’t the ones responsible for casting.] This is an erroneous assessment. Thank you @tompetertrash for correcting me.

Nekoyashiki, while pursuing training and education in manga making, has already established himself as a fairly successful doujinshika known as Honeniku-sensei of Muscle Department Store. He belongs to the Wall Circle.

"Kabe circle" (wall circle) — a slang term for doujin groups or "circles" that are popular enough for their booths to be placed beside the wall of the convention, for ease of line management. (Source: ANN)

He is friends with Yamada, a fujoshi who is his support in creating, defending and selling doujin.

Such friendships are not too rare. For example, friendship between Yoh and Manju in Taikan Yoho (2023). And the IRL friendship between female danmei author Lan Lin and male manhuajia Liang Azha.

Yun SuAn's friend Choi is a BL manhwaga in My Damn Business (2024).

Nekoyashiki meets two other characters at Comic King: Framboise and Takkun.

Framboise is the president of a doujin circle called Bearded Beauties. He is very popular. He is not only among the wall circles each time we see him, but also is showered with gifts by his fans. He acknowledges that he has been doujinshika for years. His art resembles him – body-type, facial hair, moe. He keeps inviting Nekoyashiki warmly to a gathering of muscle BL artists despite getting turned down. His interactions with Nekoyashiki are precious.

Takkun is Nekoyashiki’s fan. He is inspired by Nekoyashiki and worked hard to establish himself as a wall circle doujinshika.

His rise from a consumer to producer of doujin and finally a wall circle doujinshika mirror's Nekoyashiki’s journey. Moreover, his rise is contrasted with Nekoyashiki’s fall.

Also, one of two characters on his doujin cover looks a lot like him.

Unlike Framboise and Takkun who draw what they like, Nekoyashiki draws to be recognized.

Nekoyashiki draws a second season to his previous work Please Suck on my Enormous, Manly Tits. Despite Yamada’s best hopes, it is not popular at all and loses Nekoyashiki his position as a wall circle doujinshika. He bids goodbye to Suck My Manly Tits series and to ero-manga sub-genre in general.

In a desperate attempt to climb back into popularity, he tries classic BL pairing. We get to see him reading commercial BL as a part of his research. This is an obvious mistake. Yamada wants to intervene but hesitates and ultimately gives up.

When his next doujin, My Perfect Boss Became My Perfect Spouse, also flops, he loses his resolve to be a mangaka.

Yamada asks Nekoyashiki to be more honest and expressive in his creation.

In the end, Nekoyashiki creates a doujin inspired by his own relationship and aspirations – a work that, Framboise and Yamada notices, is to Nekoyashiki’s satisfaction.   

It is common for at least some characters by male BL and gei comi mangakas (who have revealed themselves) to look at least a little bit like themselves. To see examples, check out the beginning of Massive: Gay Erotic Manga and the Men Who Make It where representative art and artists are placed side by side. Some even acknowledge this. e.g. Chinese BL manhuajia Liang Azha once commented on how his shou (uke) tend to look like him as he is today and his gong (seme) resemble his looks from his college days. Moreover, art tend to inspire clothing, haircuts, and other features which in turn inspire art. The influence Tom of Finland had on androphilic men of his days and they on him is discussed in his 2017 biopic. Similarly, mangakas are influenced by their senpais in the field and sometimes it is noticeable in their art too. e.g. Gengoroh Tagame’s historical works looks quite a bit like those of Go Mishima.

Other BL doujinshika in Live-action BL

Yoh from Taikan Yoho (2023) creates his first BL doujin, inspired by his ikemen boyfriend and their relationship, in collaboration with his mangaka friend Manju after his career as commercial mangaka of straight ero-manga takes a nose-dive.

BL Metamorphosis (2022) depicted the process of BL doujin creation in detail as the main character, Sayama Urara, embarks on that journey. Her friends offer her support, especially Ichinoi Yuki who funds the printing and binding. Sayama Urara doesn’t debut as doujinshika as she doesn’t set up her booth at the convention. However, one of the copies lands in the hand of one of her favorite authors Komeda Yu whose commercial BL work Kimi no Koto dake Miteitai was what brought Sayama Urara and Ichinoi Yuki together.

Komeda Yu on the other hand is a doujinshika turned commercial BL mangaka. She visits the convention in hopes of overcoming writer’s block and to rediscover her passion for drawing. She is motivated by the doujin that Sayama Urara created and emerges out of slump to continue with her series. 

Fudanshi Bartender no Tashinami (2022) revolves around Soichiro Hibiki, a fudanshi bartender moonlighting as a BL doujinshika, who draws inspiration from his customers and fellow bar staff to fuel his passion.

Minamoto Kazuki

While narrative drives home the point that the various pieces of art we see are works of respective doujinshika characters through haircuts and body types, the fact remains that most of those are actual doujin by Minamoto Kazuki aka MELU. He belongs to the circle: GOOD BYE LIFE.

In case anyone want to read them, here are the links:

Kumabayashi at Work Has Not Underwear Line

One Million Miles: The Complete Collection

Competition Swimming Brief in Suit Man

A Midsummer Night's Beach Story: SM Assault Works 2

Suck My Manly Tits manga: 俺の雄っぱいがでっかくなっちまうくらいちゅーちゅー吸ってくれ

俺の雄っぱいがでっかくなっちまうくらいちゅーちゅー吸ってくれ2

"Suck My Manly Tits" doujin is in its 3rd season: 俺の雄っぱいがでっかくなっちまうくらいちゅーちゅー吸ってくれ3

Autobiographical pieces that didn't figure prominently:

30年以上マンガをほとんど読んだことなかった彼氏がBL沼にハマった話 (A story about how my boyfriend, who has barely read manga for over 30 years, got addicted to BL swamp.)

J庭でちいさな夢を叶えたゲイカップルの話 : Story of a gay mangaka and his boyfriend who participated in J.GARDEN, and their little dream that came true.

The cover of this doujin got live-action adaptation in one scene that one would miss if not looking closely:

Other interesting works by Minamoto Kazuki

Autobiographical: Shōjo Mangaka no Minamoto-san ga Kaminguauto Shimasu.

2. Those with English translation:

The Midnight Association for The Broken Hearted

The salaryman who has a fetish for suit gets horny.

The Gay Who Turned Kaiju

3. Essay-manga about doujin-making

夜寝てる間にBL原稿のお手���いをしてくれる妖精さんがいた話

BL同人原稿(アナログ18禁!!)を東京から大阪の印刷所まで届けてくれた彼氏の話

4. About Kabe Koji (2022) live-action:

自分が原作の実写ドラマの大ファンになってしまったので原作者自らヲタ活をしています。

自分が原作の実写BLドラマをリアタイしたくて大阪へ行ってきました。

___

This is dedicated to @bengiyo and @liyazaki for gifs featuring Framboise. Thank you very much. While I was trying my hand at a review for One Room Angel (2023) and wanted to express my disappointment at the lean ikemen casting for Kouki’s role, I got an opportunity to use those gifs. I really wish someone would create some gifs for SHIMBASHI TUGBOAT content too.

(Especially this scene.)

For someone who is as much a fan of “tribes” as BenZi, I would not mind playing the 9Monster live-action BL bingo version.

[colourme-feral]

What if we drew manga, met at a doujinshi convention and became besties?

[onstoryladders]

1) we have a what now

and 2) i think im in love

[bl-bracket]

Gender Envy Bracket

Round One

Tay (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Mamoru Nekoyashiki (Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized)

Eugene (Not Me: The Series) vs Fai (Together With Me)

Ayan (The Eclipse) vs Rio Kijima (The Novelist)

Zhou Shu Yi (We Best Love) vs Togawa (Old Fashion Cupcake)

Tiffy (Lovely Writer) vs Neo (3 Will Be Free)

James (Fish Upon the Sky) vs Waree (The Eclipse)

Sasuki Mugi (Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice But To Kiss!) vs Med (He's Coming To Me)

Vegas (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Yoo Sinbi (First Love Again)

Kim (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Jerry (Papa & Daddy)

Pat (Bad Buddy) vs Hashimoto (Kieta Hatsukoi)

Khai (Theory of Love) vs Alan (Moonlight Chicken)

Wei Wuxian (The Untamed) vs Takara (Takara-kun to Amagi-kun)

Jaab (Step by Step) vs Yoon Won (The Eighth Sense)

Oh-Aew (I Promised You The Moon) vs Gaipa (Moonlight Chicken)

Pear (2gether: The Series) vs Prapai (Love in the Air)

Black (Not Me: The Series) vs Ae (Step by Step)

Choi Yuna (Semantic Error) vs Amber (DNA Says Love You)

Kurosawa (Cherry Magic) vs Tan (Manner of Death)

Porsche (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Chopper (Never Let Me Go)

Yok (Not Me: The Series) vs Sky (Secret Crush on You)

Wen Kexing (Word of Honor) vs Kaeng (Y-Destiny)

Payu (Love in the Air) vs Win (My School President)

Noey (I Will Knock You) vs Xie Wang (Word of Honor)

Por (My School President) vs Shintaro (Minato Shouji Coin Laundry)

Win (Between Us) vs Pisaeng (Be My Favorite)

Pete (Love By Chance) vs Nuer (Cutie Pie: The Series)

Jang Jaeyoung (Semantic Error) vs Palm (Never Let Me Go)

Tankhun (Kinnporsche: The Series) vs Khaojao (Secret Crush on You)

Uea (Bed Friend) vs Nuea (Y-Destiny)

Sean (Not Me: The Series) vs Puen (Vice Versa)

Xue Yang (The Untamed) vs Zhou Zi Shu (Word of Honor)

Ink (Bad Buddy) vs Tuaphee (Dear Doctor, I'm Coming For Soul)

[dramalets]

2024 Watch List pt2

Mr Unlucky has no choice but to kiss - Very, very cute and silly without being slapstick. This gets a bit lost in its own soup and after about episode 4 it drags some. Also just a bizarre and somewhat anticlimactic ending. The leads are lovely though and they do work well together. 3/5 (22/2/24)

What did you eat yesterday S1 - Just perfect. Watching Shiro & Kenji grow together over the episodes is a treat. This is as warm and tender as it is brilliantly observed and funny. A true must watch. 5/5 (24/2/24)

The Sign - This just got lost in itself. It had moments of absolute perfection but there were, for me, too many threads it didn’t tie up. Personally I liked this show the most in its procedural show parts and less in its fantasy elements, where I feel it had the most work to do. This isn’t one I’ll rewatch but I did enjoy the journey. 3/5 (25/2/24)

If it’s with you - Lovely is the best word for this. Just a little warm hug of a thing. A sweet story of first love. 4/5 (26/2/24)

I became the main role of a BL drama - Very soft and silly. Not much happens but the leads are lovely and fun to watch. Would kind of love a spin off about the managers if I’m honest. Zero complaints. Just a cute, easy, quick watch. 3/5 (27/2/24)

Kabe Koji - Very enjoyable. Absolutely loved the manga come to life concept of this one. It was super fun to look at. Personally, I think this could have done with maybe 1 or 2 more episodes. Neither character felt as explored as I would have liked. A nice watch nonetheless :) 3/5 (27/2/24)

The Man who defies the world of BL s1 & 2 - This is so unbelievably funny and well observed. Atsuhiro is a master at comedic faces and they never feel slapstick or overdone. Loved every silly second. 4/5 (28/2/24)

Candy Colour Paradox - This isn’t the best acted thing and the chemistry is only so-so it also really starts to drag in places. (Inserting Izuka Kenta into a multiple episode arc was a choice because he’s incredible and it only serves to highlight the so-so of the leads.) Having said all these things it still has a charm and I still enjoyed watching it. Just perhaps not one I’ll be itching to rewatch or suggest to friends. 3/5 (28/2/24)

Perfect Propose - A sweet six episode watch that’s really all about being human. Kai has to realise that being part of peoples lives is both terrifying but necessary and Hiro must learn to value the role he plays in the world. Just a gorgeous little watch. 4/5 (1/3/24)

Kei x Yaku - Is this a BL? Not really? It’s more like gay romance is heavily inferred but here is a messed up, lovely little found family so enjoy that. This is so much fun and I can’t rec it highly enough. Very much just tune in and have fun. 4/5 (1/3/24)

Cherry Magic - Zero notes. Absolute perfection. TayNew supremacy. 5/5 (2/3/24)

My Personal Weatherman - Just bored me honestly. It’s not bad but it’s not as good as some make it out to be. I think if I’d watched this before the novelist I might have liked it more? Not something I’ll reach for again. 3/5 (3/3/24)

My Beautiful Man s1&2 - This is very Japanese and, on paper, should not have worked for me at all. In practice tho? I loved this. I understand the reasons this is controversial but I also think if you go into this without any of the disk horse you’ll just see it for what it is; a love story between two broken boys with piss poor communication skills and self esteem issues. 4/5 (5/3/24)

My Beautiful Man Eternal - This movie is the third part of the beautiful man series. I genuinely think you could skip s2 and go straight in for this. It delivers what I would have wanted, but was impossible to give in four episodes, from s2. We see Hira and Kiyoi’s growth as individuals and also together and we finish with them as equals, with Kiyoi speaking to his king Hira. Beautifully shot, excellently acted. Will watch again. 5/5 (6/3/24)

[emotionallychargedtowel]

For the BL trope ask game: 4 and 13

Thanks for the ask, dearie! (And for getting this ask game started to begin with.) These tropes are very much up my alley.

Long-Term Pining (4)

I’m a big fan of long-term pining, as I'm sure you know and as is probably abundantly clear to anyone who reads my tumblr or talks about QL stuff with me elsewhere. I’m not sure what’s so especially compelling about it for me. Part of it is how special it is for someone to be that loyal and committed. Staying constant over a long time without encouragement is one of the biggest indications of the strength of someone’s feelings you could have. I also relate to it in some ways, because when I have serious feelings for someone they don’t ever really go away. Not to mention all the hopeless crushes I’ve had in my life. 

A lot of my favorite BLs/QLs involve a significant amount of pining, so I had plenty of ideas for this trope—if anything, I had too many. I decided to go with my new blorbo, Ai Di from Kiseki: Dear to Me, because his pining takes a really interesting form. 

According to something Louis Chiang said in a behind-the-scenes video, Ai Di has liked Chen Yi since he was six or seven years old, which would have made Chen Yi nine or ten. By the time of the second part of the story, Ai Di is 22 and Chen Yi is 25. That’s sixteen years of pining.

The thing I find most interesting about Ai Di’s version of pining is that it has a really paradoxical quality. Because of a combination of circumstances and his personality, he doesn’t respond to things in the way we would expect for someone who’s pining for someone else. (I guess it’s no wonder I got obsessed with Kiseki after watching it a couple weeks back, since I seem to have a thing for paradoxical relationship dynamics.) Basically, Ai Di is pining for someone while pushing him away and even rebuffing advances from him, things you wouldn’t expect someone deeply in love to do. 

Ai Di gives Chen Yi a hard time about how "his eyes gave him away" when he looked at their boss at this meeting, but what about this?

In the 2019 part of the story, Ai Di often pushes Chen Yi away and even pushes him toward their boss. He passes up invitations and complains about Chen Yi including him in things, repeatedly makes fun of Chen Yi for being a virgin (according to Ai Di) and says he’s impotent, and tells him again and again to confess to or hit on the boss, practically daring him to at times (albeit in a derisive way that wouldn’t be a great approach if he actually wanted Chen Yi to make a move). When Chen Yi kisses him, he bites his lip hard enough to make him bleed (after only hesitating for a microsecond). After he has sex with Chen Yi when he’s drunk, he distances himself in the biggest way yet. Partly out of guilt about this, and fear that Chen Yi will hate him when he realizes what he did, and partly out of his usual desire to protect him, he voluntarily goes to prison for four years in order to protect Zongyi (whose imprisonment is Chen Yi’s responsibility). 

From this point on, Ai Di pushes Chen Yi away even more than before. When Chen Yi comes to visit him in prison on their shared birthday and brings a cake like the ones he used to get for him, dropping massive hints that his eyes have been opened now, Ai Di is incredibly cold and tells him never to visit again. When he’s released in 2023, he continues to push Chen Yi away with all of his might. He avoids him, tells him repeatedly that they should cease all contact, and returns gifts Chen Yi sends him. The most hurtful thing he does is probably the way he talks about the night they had sex, claiming he did it “just for fun.” He goes on to rebuff two more advances from Chen Yi despite continued hints that he has come to understand and even return Ai Di’s feelings. 

If your prospective partner has to put you in a double kabedon, you're hardcore about avoiding them.

Chen Yi’s next attempt is successful. He ties Ai Di up, since he apparently has to be physically restrained in order to hear Chen Yi out. Chen Yi finally tells him more explicitly that after Ai Di went to prison he’d figured out how he felt and how much he’d done for him, that he knew it was him when they slept together (at least, after a certain point), and that he’d realized that he actually returned his feelings. 

This is an epic amount of avoidance for a long-term piner. In some cases, his avoidance is probably for the best. When Chen Yi first starts to put the moves on him, he hasn’t begun to sort out his feelings about the boss. Giving way could easily have made everything worse. But once Chen Yi starts to understand his feelings, it would have made sense for Ai Di to start to let his guard down. Yet he pushes back against Chen Yi’s overtures way harder at that point. 

When asked in an interview (translated here) about what advice he would give Ai Di, Louis Chiang said about Chen YI, “you have to go after him relentlessly, don’t let go of him, don’t let go of your own love for him, keep looking at him persistently, and make him look back at you.” Ai Di pretty much does the opposite of this, so there’s no wonder Chiang thought he could use this advice. 

Why would someone behave this way? There’s actually a good psychological explanation. It has everything to do with the adverse experiences he had as a child. We don’t know when the boss started taking care of Ai Di, but he was definitely with his birth parents or some other parental figures for some time before that happened, and according to him, his parents “went crazy because of drugs,” implying intense use of serious substances. Even if he was under the boss’s care at a very young age, his most formative years would have been spent in a very chaotic environment. It seems like he experienced severe neglect and he may have seen any number of things a child shouldn’t. Like a lot of people with this kind of early experience, Ai Di appears to have a disorganized attachment style. Which is something I could go off about, but that should probably be its own post. 

For now I’ll just say that I think the paradoxical way Ai Di behaves given his devotion to Chen Yi is one of the things that makes him such an interesting character. 

Grumpy/Sunshine (13)

I'm a bit partial to this trope, too. I have a few favorites. Ji Woo and Seo Joon from To My Star are right up there. But for this post, I’m going to talk here about another grumpy/sunshine pair I love: Mamoru and Issei from Kabe Koji. 

How much more grumpy/sunshine could they get?

When it comes to BL protagonists, Mamoru is about as grumpy as it gets. He approaches the world as if disappointment and provocation are so inevitable that he may as well get angry and resigned now and skip the part where he makes an effort. And it seems like he’s had his share of experiences that led him to have these expectations. He deals with homophobic bullying on a regular basis. His rare sources of happiness are really tenuous, like his vacillating popularity with readers of independent comics. And his selective, biased memory of what happened with Issei serves to justify his worst views of life and humanity. Yet in the face of all of this, he has a remarkable, stubborn insistence on following his dream, and though he compromises it at times, he usually listens to his creative voice in an admirable way. 

Issei, meanwhile, is such a sunshine boy that he dances right up to the line where toxic positivity starts. But he doesn’t cross it. He's not always great at sitting with his own negative feelings, though he manages to grow his capacity for that as the story progresses. But it comes pretty naturally to him to sit with other people’s negative feelings. It’s one of the reasons he keeps winning people over wherever he goes--he's able to join with people in their fear and distress and still hold on to a thread of sincere positivity and compassion.

The trouble with Mamoru is that the negative filter he applies to everything is too extreme and he applies it so rigidly. It’s wild to see how much his brain is able to twist anything into something bad. Studying psychology and doing some training placements as a therapist definitely showed me firsthand that human beings have a remarkable capacity to twist things to fit their existing beliefs and expectations, so the fact that I was frequently blown away by Mamoru’s negative filter is really saying something. 

In his gentle, good-natured way, Issei forces Mamoru to look at things differently and open himself up to new experiences and relationships. It’s amazing gift to be able to do that. I don’t think I could pull off being as sunshine-y as Issei in a million years, even though I have some low-key Pollyanna tendencies. But I wonder if I could learn from the way he relates to people. Sometimes he handles other adults in ways that remind me of things I’ve read in parenting books. I guess this is because he makes it a priority to validate others, and that’s an important parenting skill. I don’t think he infantilizes others, though. It’s more that Issei is the kind of person who would treat a kid with as much respect as an adult. And really, the things that kids need from interactions with their parents are almost always the same kinds of things we all need from one another. 

And again, so grumpy, so sunshine.

It’s interesting that Mamoru is able to provide something to Issei that he can’t get elsewhere. It’s been a while since I watched Kabe Koji so I could be off here, but I think it has to do with the one little idealistic piece of himself that Mamoru has guarded with all of his grumpy defense mechanisms–and the fact that Issei ended up as a sort of patron saint of that part of him, a symbol of hope in the world. If he only saw Issei this way, that would be a big problem. But he’s still able to see him as a person–if anything, he understands his personhood and respects his feelings more than anyone. I guess he’s cynical enough that an idealized image of Issei as a perfect ray of sunshine wouldn’t be believable or appealing to him anyway. Sometimes his image of Issei gets a bit disconnected from reality, like what happens when he doesn’t interact with him in real life for a long time and just sees him doing idol things on TV and stuff. But as long as he’s around him sometimes, he continues to really see him in a way that few people do. 

It really doesn’t get better than someone who really sees you for who you are and still thinks what they see is exceptional. Or when someone you think is truly exceptional sincerely loves you back.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Mamorou and Issei

Are you spying on me? Cause I just rewatched this show today.

So I obviously love them. I love them both equally as characters and together and I wish we could have more than 2 minutes of them together in the end, because although they have known each other a long time I'd be curious to see how their personalities adjust to each other long term.

I think their personalities at first seem to be complete opposites because of the smile Issei uses and Mamoru very much doesn't, but there's history there and common ground and so I'd love to see how them being around each other a lot would affect both of them.

Also how Mamoru would deal with being in the spotlight for dating an idol and all the insecurities that could come from it.

So basically I love them in a very unrealized way, if that makes sense.

Thanks for the question. 💜

Send Me a Ship and I'll Share My Thoughts About Them

[connorjesup]

Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires To Be Recognized | EP 05  

You did all this for your brother, didn't you? That's why... you planned to shoulder all this burden yourself. If that's the case, we're going to shoulder it, too. Let us shoulder it with you together.

[timotey]

Kabe Koji

Or, Kabe Sa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shouninyokkyuu wo Kojiraseteiru - what a mouthful! Or, Kabe Koji: Wall Circle's Doujin Artist Nekoyashiki-Kun's Desire for Recognition Grows - even a bigger mouthful, phew! So, let's stick with Kabe Koji!

At first, this seems a crazy comedy in the style of A Man Who Defies the World of BL but, IMHO, it's sweeter and more touching, gripping and, well, deeper. Because the comedy? That's just the surface, the story itself is much more layered and 3D than one would think. It honestly made me cry at one point.

It's a series about a doujinshi artist and an emerging idol, two childhood friends who are in love with each other, have been ever since they were schoolmates - but without the other realizing it. Mamoru, the doujinshi artist, is the grumpiest cat around. The idol, Issei, on the other hand, wears a big smile on his face and his heart on his sleeve, loving everyone and saying it out loud - but Issei's hiding so much behind his smile because he smiles constantly. When he's happy, he smiles, when he's hurt, he smiles, and when he's sad, he smiles, too. Their friendship goes through so much because of Mamoru's harsh grumpiness and the fact that being out and proud could hurt Issei's career...

I honestly loved Issei. He was simply... wow. When he hurt, I hurt. When his band mate was yelling at him for being annoying and not good enough, I hurt. When Mamoru kept treating him so cruelly, I hurt. And it was mainly because of Nakao Masaki who played Issei. He was absolutely breathtaking and I'm so grateful that this series introduced me to him. What an actor!

I also loved the supporting characters: Issei's band mate, Tsubasa, who was so harsh with Issei at first but then he came to really like him and helped him out when he needed it the most. The journalist who kept following Issei to get a juicy scoop on him - and ended up liking him so much that he decided to preserve Issei's happiness, his story be damned. Mamoru's bestie and biggest fan, Koharu, who was always there to support him - and yell at him when needed.

This drama is SO GOOD! Really, no one can do a truly layered BL like the Japanese! A 9/10 drama, hands down!

[bengiyo]

Rose's Day of Asks

Characters not actors. Let's put together a TTRPG group for a one shot. Who are you inviting?

Have a great Day💜

What an interesting ask. I've been thinking about this for a bit, but I have a few who came to mind that I thought would be great players for a good 3-4 hour session, probably on a rescue mission from a 5-room dungeon.

Rain (Love in the Air)

We already know Rain has a thing for roleplay and he loves costumes. I feel like he would get the most into character, but would have no idea what's going on with the practical goals of the game. He'd inevitably solve a social encounter as an accident.

Tiwson (My School President)

I just know he's going to play the most useful skill monkey the game has ever seen.

Yamada Koharu (Kabe Koji)

She looks like she was born to play a great weapon warrior.

Naruse (Ossan's Love: In the Sky)

Every good table needs a grumpy twink that we all eventually grow to love. He's likely to play a selfish blaster. I just know it in my heart.

Pearl Gatdula (Gameboys/Pearl Next Door)

There is no successful table without someone who is focused on the global objective to get the party to stop arguing in front of a door for over 30 minutes. Pearl is that hero every GM needs to have a good table. It doesn't matter what she plays. She's going to play what the party needs most without them even noticing.

Thank you for the ask! This was a fun exercise. It was interesting thinking about this because I don't think most of the leads would be great for a table because they have too much other stuff going on in their lives, but many of their friends would do well at a table.

[gillianthecat]

Mamoru and Issei's plaza! Kuromiya the matchmaker! Akafuji wiping away Hajime's tears! A DATE!!!

🥰

[tompetertrash]

Corporate needs you to find the differences between these two pictures.

[rhea314]

Fandom: 壁サー同人作家の猫屋敷くんは承認欲求をこじらせている | Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-Kun Desires to Be Recognized (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nekoyashiki Mamoru/Kazama Issei Characters: Nekoyashiki Mamoru, Kazama Issei Additional Tags: Fanvid, VidUKon 2023 Premiere Series: Part 146 of Fanvids

Summary: Am I ready? (You gon' figure it out)... Mamochi's struggle with self worth and the desire to be loved (and recognized)

[onstoryladders]

i have many thoughts about this drama... at the start i was like "ha ha funny shit" and at the end i was like "why is this attacking me personally"

doing what you love ISN'T easy. the temptation to sell yourself out to get the attention you so desperately crave IS real. creative crises ARE one of the worst thing an artist can go through

what are you doing it for? WHO are you doing it for? one thing that stuck out to me during the earlier episodes was mamoru telling yamada that "everyone knows that drawing manga is a pain" when she asked if he was enjoying his new book or something like that. and it resonated so much with me as a writer because writing is a pain too!

so why do we keep going?

mamoru thinks he's doing it because he wants success and prestige, but then it becomes clear that drawing manga is the only way he can connect with others

mamoru has no friends except yamada, and they became friends thanks to his works! she's his number one supporter (together with issei) and also the only person he has a relationship with if we don't consider issei or mamoru's family

if mamoru didn't have his art he would be completely isolated, but thanks to it he met yamada and framboise and started to open up to different connections

of course there's also another layer to this because this is the journey of a gay man in a conservative country that finds in manga the freedom to be himself. the scene where he first goes to a con and sees all the gay erotic art lining the walls and is like "wait there's people like me out there and they're not embarrassed? they're embracing what they love?" amazing showstopping never the same totally unique etc

art is a way to embrace that side of him that he can't embrace in his daily life. it's his way to be the most authentic version of himself. then he loses sight of it, and that means he loses sight of himself, but in order to come back from this he must confront his self-hatred and inferiority complex, because how can he be authentic if he doesn't accept himself first?

so yeah this show pleasantly surprised me and made me more emo than i thought it would

also yamada i love you