#maybe I just need to make a new blog actually lol. this is probably just a symptom of having too many people follow you
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I do genuinely enjoy pedantry and quibbling and disagreeing with fine-grained details of every sentence ever uttered as any good marxist does, the problem is that tumblr is a horrific platform to nurture that enjoyment on and turns all of us into grand dogmatists where any quibble is a sign of enemy infiltration
#I have two friends I deeply enjoy disagreeing with but there needs to be like a particular trust and intimacy in place first#like some random asshole replying to your post to be a pedant is not a scenario in which youâre having a fruitful discussion#again I think ânuanceâ as a rhetoric device has a particularly poisonous mainstream applications on social media#where people want to be a devil to the details for either clowning on you or dismissing your entire point#maybe I just need to make a new blog actually lol. this is probably just a symptom of having too many people follow you#but in general like I donât find social media to be a productive public square of any kind#youâre only going to get that in smaller groups or with people you have a prior established relationship with#I have found random people whose disagreements with me are genuinely productive but that is the exception that proves the norm#in my experience
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#not-very-seriously contemplating making a fitalk sideblog#just so i could ramble on about my fic ideas like the lunatic i am without bothering anyone#because istg i come up with at least 3 new ideas a day and more if necessary#but i'm too self-conscious to do that on my main blog too often because i always manage to convince myself no one actually cares#and that the only few people who do seem to care only care because they want to be supportive#and/or think it's cute i'm so passionate about the fics/pairing or whatever#and there's nothing wrong with that and i'm thankful of course!#but it sort of makes me feel like a child being praised by adults ya know? đ#and idk maybe i just feel like this because i used to share a hyperfixation OTP with a friend#and i'd come up with new fic ideas/headcanons for our OTP on a daily basis#until the friend admitted they weren't even that into the pairing#they just found it adorable to see how enthusiastic i was thinking of stories of them :)#which made me feel like such an idiot lol silly me thought they were as into it as i was#like. i get the need to infodump about hyperfixations to a friend even if the friend is not into the hyperfixation#especially if you don't know anyone else to whom you could talk about it#but i don't need that personally. i'd rather talk about my hyperfixations to someone who actually wants to hear it#and not just because they think i'm being adorable or they want to support me#i can very well keep it all to myself or just idk talk to myself?? lol#so yeahhhh i kinda don't want to make myself feel like a clown like that again đ€Ą#i do realise i think about fic ideas an unhealthy amount probably lol#but then again isn't that what actual published authors do all the flipping time?! the only difference is that i'm not getting paid for itđ€#this wasn't supposed to become a rant lol the words just started flooding#anywayyyyy who wants to hear about my royalty!aleksi / ballet dancer!olli fic idea with side roommates-with-benefits olli/joonas?#additional tags include 'helping the other put on make-up' and 'anal fingering'. if you even care#(pls don't actually ask it's ridiculous)
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Mirror, Mirror | One
Please do not copy, repost, or translate my work anywhere else.
Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Summary: The thought of something more had never really crossed Wanda's mind when it came to you. Best friends for 10 years and there hasn't even been one instance of accidental sexual tension. You're her best friend, that's allâuntil someone points out that you obviously have a very specific type when it comes to dating.
Warnings: best friends to lovers. shenanigans. jealousy, jealousy. sexual tension. pining. yearning. sexual thoughts. spicy (tumblr's version). stupid steve. neurotic nat. brat & stinky. bug as in shutterbug.
*explicit version will only be available on Ao3 & will be posted there after series is completed*
Note: i'm back!!! Nothing like coming back and posting a mini series. Enjoy this superior trope. Updates will be on Tuesdays! As you can see, we're trying something new with explicit content lol đŹ
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Series Masterlist || Library Blog || AO3
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It's strange how sometimes a single sentence can change someone's entire life.Â
Wanda's thought about what sentences could change her lifeâusually, they're morbid and depressing.
'You have cancer.'
'Someone you love has died horrifically in an accident.'
'Your cat actually finds living with you miserable and would prefer the dangers of living in the streets.'
Never in a million years would Wanda ever think it'd be, 'Hey, have you ever noticed how your best friend exclusively only dates girls who look like you?'
And don't get Wanda wrong. It wasn't a morbid or depressing change; it was just...a change. An irrevocable change because now, Wanda couldn't stop thinking about it or noticing it.Â
This was all Steve's fault.Â
Because if someone like Stupid Steve could notice something like that, it had to mean something, right? But as Wanda remembers about the past girls you've hooked up with and brought around, she doesn't know what to make of it.
A part of Wanda wishes she had never talked to Steve that night at the bar.Â
"Where's Vis?" Steve asked, looking around.
"With Tony playing pool, I think," Wanda shrugged. She doesn't particularly keep track of where her on-and-off boyfriend goes. She thinks they might be on an off-period right now, anyway.Â
"And where'sâoh, nevermind, there she is," Steve started to say but cut off when they both saw you across the bar talking with the bartender, flirting over drinksâwhich were probably free if Wanda could guess.Â
Wanda's slightly annoyed because it's been a long week without seeing you, and Wanda's been used to seeing you almost every day for the past several years of her life. But you've been gone on a work trip this week for a wedding shoot and only came home just a little after lunch and needed an immediate long nap before tonight's get-together.Â
That meant Wanda was sorely missing out on best-friend time, and now you were off flirting shamelessly with the hot bartender. Wanda's rooting for you, make no mistake. The bartender is definitely easy on the eyes, luscious hair, and lipsâsomething Wanda knows you're weak for.Â
Plus, Wanda's worried you're not anywhere near getting close to settling down. She wants you to be in a happy, fulfilling relationship. But she supposes she's in no position to talk herself.Â
Wanda loves Vision without a doubt, but their relationship is definitely chaotic, and Vision keeps pushing for something more serious now that they've been dating (sporadically) for a long time. She's been considering it in her downtime and thinks it might make sense as the next step.
Best friends do everything together, right? So, maybe if Wanda decided to take the next step in a serious relationship, you'd find someone to commit to seriously as well.Â
Then, both of you could get married at the same time. Then, they could buy a house in the same neighborhood right next to each other. There'd be endless double dates and vacations together. Wanda wouldn't have to miss you.
But first, Wanda needed to regain lost best-friend time, one-on-one style. Â
"Hey, you know what I just noticed?" Steve said, breaking Wanda's drifting thoughts.Â
"What?"
"Bugâ"Â
Wanda makes a face at your nickname. Granted, it was Wanda's fault you ended up with it back in your first year of university. You never let her forget it, especially now that you're a professional photographer.
"âover there has a very specific type she goes after for girls," Steve mused, sipping his whiskey before continuing. "I mean, they always have green eyes and brunetteâwait, that's not true. She had two red-headed girlfriends in our last year of university. They still had green eyes, though."Â
"Oh," Wanda said, unsure what to say since she's never paid attention to the girls you were dating. On average, they were a brief fling, and only a few lasted longer than half a year. "I guess so?"
Wanda distantly thinks about how she dyed her hair auburn in her last year of university because she was looking for a change that year and Natasha was insistent that she'd look amazing. Wanda recalls you were a fan of the look.
"Yeah," Steve nodded along. "Ironically, they always look like you in some way. Check out that bartender nowâlong, wavy-haired brunette with green eyes. She's got thick, long lips and even does that dark eye-shadow makeup thingy like you."
Steve just laughed it off, finishing his drink, thinking nothing more of it before he started talking about Bucky.
But it was like something clicked into place in Wanda's brain. A daunting realization that she was wholly unprepared for and not equipped to do anything about.Â
Wanda watched as the bartender clocked off for the night and dragged you into a corner booth, drinks in hand. It gave Wanda the perfect view that the bartender wore many rings just like she did.Â
In the poor privacy of the dimly lit corner booth, there was a staunch and needy kiss from the two of you, and Wanda swallowed roughly.Â
From here, if you were none the wiser, Wanda could be easily mistaken for the girl in the booth with you.Â
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Sometimes, Wanda believes she's just being absolutely ridiculous. So what if you go after girls who share the same features as her? That didn't have to mean anything. You've always told Wanda she was beautiful, and it was perfect how you said it.Â
It didn't feel insincere or creepy. It felt good to know her best friend thought she was absolutely gorgeous. But just because you thought she was beautiful doesn't mean you harbored secret feelings for her.Â
You'd be insulted if you knew Wanda had ever thought that. She'd just be another one of those girls Wanda's seen you humble on multiple occasions when they found out you dated women, and they were worried you might have a crush on them.Â
But then, Wanda couldn't stop thinking she actually might be one of those girls because then she'd think about if you didn't consider her like that, it wasn't about her looks but something about her personality that wasn't your type.Â
And what could that be?
Wanda thought long and hard, trying to remember the girls you've introduced her to.Â
Sometimes they were funny, and Wanda was funny. She made you laugh all the time. She specifically remembered one time in high school when she made you laugh so hard you peed your pants just a little.Â
Sometimes they were intellectual, and while Wanda didn't have an IQ of 160, she did fairly well academically and was on the right track in her career.Â
Sometimes they were charming, and Wanda was the type where she got more charming the more you got to know her.Â
So, Wanda just doesn't understand. She's nowhere further with her thinking ever since this weird information has been bestowed upon her.
Maybe it all just means nothing. You just didn't feel that way about Wanda despite the type of girls you dated suggesting otherwise. You didn't need a reason for it, and maybe the fact you only felt friendship for her was the reason.Â
"Wanna order pizza in tonight?"
Wanda turns her head from the tv and notices you've put your book down. "Hm, not really. We had pizza last week," Wanda shakes her head.Â
"How about that Greek place that just opened up on Willington Ave?" You suggest. "Pretty sure I heard you grumbling about wanting Greek food earlier this week."
"I was not grumbling!" Wanda scoffs but smiles when you raise your eyebrow at her. "Okay, I was grumbling a little."
You snicker as you pull out your phone to order delivery. "Oh, sweet golden best friend of mine, whatever shall you do when you get married to Vis, who hates Greek food. Do I foresee a life of Greekless cuisine? Oh, the suffering you'll go through!"
"I don't need him to like it," Wanda slaps your arm, sticking her tongue out before she cuddles you. "I have you to eat it with."
You laugh unabashedly, a sound that Wanda's accustomed to hearing the joyful sound. "Better hope the person I marry also hates Greek cuisine. I don't know if I can live a life of eating double the Greek food. I love tzatziki sauce, but if I grow to hate it from eating it too much, I will make you suffer the consequences of that."
Your voice trails off as you focus on ordering food, unable to see the cogs in Wanda's head turning.Â
It's all so easy. There's no tension, no electric vibes happening. Just best friends enjoying the banter and making plans to eat.Â
It was all in Wanda's head, right? You're her best friend, so of course you'd know everything about her.Â
The right type of friendship is fulfilling and soul-connecting, and that's what Wanda has with you. When you have a one-in-a-million connection like that, the line between friendship and romance is thin, isn't it?
Wanda hates Steve. She'd never think about this if it wasn't for Stupid Steve. She can hear his dumb laugh, blissfully ignorant about the observation bomb he dropped upon her.Â
"Do you wanna get ice cream after?" You ask, throwing your phone to the side. "I'll even treat you to the gelato despite knowing I'm going to suffer through your crazy farts later."
"Oh my god, I'm going to trap you under the blanket with it just for that!"Â
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Within two months, Wanda forgets about it. Forgets, as in that she decides to drop it (let it linger in the deep depths of her brain that she refuses to acknowledge), and resolves that Steve has no brain cells and has no idea what he's saying.Â
"Have you seen my strapless black top?" Wanda shouts from her room with the door open. "The one with the v-shaped front!"
"In your closet!" You yelled back from the living room, not taking your eyes off your phone.Â
"I can't find it," Wanda whines, and she hears you sigh as you get up. The footsteps approach her room, and she finds you standing at the door with an unimpressed look.
"I don't want to hear it," Wanda sniffs.Â
"Hear what, brat?" You say with a brow raised before you start rummaging through her closet. The nickname was a joke you started that Wanda was entirely a spoiled person, exhibiting bratty behavior at times. "That I'm not gonna be your roommate forever, so you need to learn to fold it yourself before putting it away?"
Wanda makes grumbling noises that are mostly nonsensical but smiles when you pull out the top she was looking for.Â
"You are the apple of my eye, stinky," Wanda grabs the top from you before she runs into her washroom to briefly change into it.Â
"A match made in heaven, yeah, yeah," you roll your eyes with good humor. "Hurry up, Natasha will kill us if we're late for Yelena's birthday. They're on an upwards mend in their relationship, so she's been so unbearably uptight lately to make sure nothing goes wrong."
"I know, I know," Wanda mutters, carefully pulling the top over her head to not ruin her makeup.Â
"Alright, I'll hail us a cab, meet me outside."
"Wait, wait!" Wanda calls out. "I need help putting on my necklace."
You chuckle, walking back just as Wanda steps out of the bathroom with the delicate necklace she wants to wear.Â
"Alright, alright, relax," you tell her. "Your accent gets really strong when you're stressed."
"You're stressing me out by rushing me," Wanda scrunches her nose even though you can't see it. "I'm also stressed knowing that you have to rush me, or I'll spend the party getting lectured by Natasha."
Wanda's voice comes out husked with the accent, something she's struggled between hating or loving, but mostly loving since you've expressed how lovely it is.
You grab the necklace from her hand, and Wanda moves her hair out of the way. The routine of it all starts to bleed the tension out of her shoulders.Â
Then, that horrible Stupid Steve Sentence kicks into her brain.Â
 It's only as you put your arms over, placing the necklace against Wanda's chest, and focusing on trying to get the clasp in. Wanda can feel your warm breath against her neck, summoning goosebumps along her arms. You're so close, and she can feel the heat of your body radiating onto her, your fingers just barely brushing against her.
The tension comes suddenly, squeezing inside her chest as her breathing slows and shakes. Her body warms in an unexpected way.Â
"Ah, got it," you say, but Wanda can only focus on your voice and breath on the shell of her ear. "Cute necklace but the clasp is so annoying."
You pull away and start walking off. "C'mon, I bet if we tip our taxi driver an extra $20 bucks, they'll speed and we can pray we're on time."
Wanda's left standing there, knowing she probably sounds like she's fresh out of Sokovia with how stressed she is. Her right eye twitches.
Was that...Wanda gulps. Was that sexual tension?
And was she the only one who felt it?
Fuck.
She's going to kill Steve.
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Natasha's absolutely neurotic when they arrive. It's just a simple backyard party, but it almost looks like a wedding venue with all the catering and flowers.Â
Wanda's pretty sure Natasha's only being like this because she's overthinking about whether to cling to Yelena or give her sister some space to mingle with others. She seems to be sizing up Kate, who Yelena might be seeing, but it hasn't been confirmed.Â
Yelena looks between exasperated with Natasha and secretly happy about the entire thing. Wanda can sympathize with her. After all, she's also a little sister, and Pietro can also be way too overprotective. Sometimes she's glad he's abroad in Europe for work while she remains in New York, but she misses him more often than she admits.Â
"Alright, alright, Natasha," you groan, and Wanda's mind slips back into the conversation. "We're 3 minutes late, relax, will you? Damn, are you always gonna be like this until you and Yelena get back into whatever sibling bond you had before? Hope you're just like this with us because otherwise, you're gonna scare away all her friends, and she's going to hate you."
"Oh my god, do you think she'll really hate me?" Natasha bites her bottom lip in worry while looking around at all the people that they can only assume she's nagged about being late or whatever mishap.Â
"Oh, man," you sigh, putting your hand on her shoulders before pushing her towards the bar. "You need some drinks and maybe some desserts in you."
Wanda's about to follow you when you turn around and nod your head in a different direction. She looks over and sees you're nodding toward Vision.
"You should go say hi to him," you tell her. "You've been complaining about not seeing him all last week, even though I don't know why you guys won't just FaceTime, but I digress. Come find me later, or I'll find you after."
You look over at Natasha, who's peering on her tippy toes to see if she can find Yelena.
"And, hopefully, I'll have ditched this nutjob," you whisper conspiratorially and laugh when Natasha turns around to smack your arm.Â
"I heard that!"
Wanda chuckles as you walk off with Natasha while she turns and heads toward Vision. Despite how she was complaining about not seeing Vision last week because she did miss him, her expression was sour as she made her way toward him.Â
Vision spots her immediately and waves at her with a warm smile. Wanda feels herself somewhat loosened at his expression. They'd also been friends a long time before they started on-and-off dating, so at the very least, she does miss his easy friendship.Â
"Hey," Vision hugs her, slightly rubbing her back before he pulls away but keeps his arm around her. "It's been a while; you look lovely."
"Thanks," Wanda smiles with a shrug. She looks around and sees he's standing with Tony and Pepper. "How are you guys?"
"Could be better," Tony sighs dramatically. "Natasha won't let me do any of my cool party tricks as if I'm going to ruin her little sister's party. If anything, I could make it the party of the century!"
Pepper rolls her eyes good-naturedly. "We were just talking about how we're thinking of going to the Bahamas for vacation in December and escaping the cold. We've invited you and Vision along since it's been awhile since we've all gone together. Of course, we can also invite Bug and Natasha."
"Oh," Wanda says for a lack of anything else to say. She doesn't know how to feel about it, but she peers over at Vision, who's just smiling at her and looking eager about it.Â
"I need another drink if I'm going to suffer through this party," Tony sighs. "Maybe I can convince Yelena instead!" He grins, dragging Pepper along, and they walk off together.Â
"So, what do you think?" Vision asks when they're alone. "I didn't want to reply on your behalf since I wasn't sure, but I think it'd be good for us. I've missed you," Vision pauses as if he's about his next words but then says, "a lot."
"Yeah, me too," Wanda starts to say, but then her brain gets all haywire because it feels like a lie. She did miss him, but did she miss him a lot? "I think."
"You think?"
Wanda wants to smack her forehead because she didn't mean to say that out loud. "I mean, I was complaining a lot that I haven't seen you in a while all last week."
"Yeah, work has just been overwhelming. I get so tired after work, I just can't keep up with the texting or calls."
But you can, Wanda thinks. Granted, you're her roommate, so it's easier. But even when you have to go on work trips, you regularly text her no matter what time and squeeze in a quick call, even if it's just to say goodnight.Â
The entire thing makes Wanda bite her tongue because why was she even thinking about that? That was completely irrelevant to Vision.Â
Thenâbecause as if just thinking about you wasn't enoughâher eyes trail across the room, and the scene before her makes Wanda even more confused about her feelings.
You're standing there with Natasha at the bar, but it looks like Natasha's calling someone over to introduce you to them.
Another brunette with long, wavy hair, like she just had a blowout done. Wanda's not 100% sure from this distance, but she has an inkling that the brunette also has green eyes. She's wearing a white halter top and wide-legged sage green pants. She wears a lot of rings, but her makeup is lighter and more summery compared to Wanda's darker, smokey eye makeup.
In short, this woman was the clean girl aesthetic version of Wanda.Â
And you look interested.Â
This was ridiculous, Wanda fumes, feeling her stomach sink and cheeks flare hot in anger. As quick as the anger came, it dissipated.
Why was she so angry?
She feels betrayed, and her thoughts are turning very ugly. Wanda is definitely not being a girl's girl right now with how much she's thinking she's better than the girl in front of you.Â
But that just makes everything so much more confusing.Â
"Wanda?"
Wanda turns her head back to Vision. He looks concerned, and even when his eyes trail toward what Wanda's staring at, there's no additional reaction. He's not upset that she's staring at you, and that has to mean something, right?
It must mean there was never a concern about how Wanda might've felt about you. Sure, there were a few things Wanda couldn't be without, and you were one of them, but nobody can't be without their best friend.Â
No one had ever blinked twice about you and Wanda.
Except now.
And that person was Wanda herself.Â
The more Wanda thought about the entire thing, the more she became curious. The idea of you dating people who looked like Wanda was intriguing. She wanted to ask questions but didn't know what to ask.
It might mean nothing, but it also might mean something.Â
And if it does mean something, Wanda wants to know what exactly it is.Â
Therefore, Wanda needs nothing in her way to find out the truth and exactly what she wants, regardless of the answer.Â
This was insane, wasn't it? Wanda's always been ambivalent about dating women. She's never gone out of her way to try it since she had Vision. Never mind entertaining thoughts about dating her best (girl)friend. And now, she was giving everything up in the pursuit of finding out what it could mean that her best friend was dating her lookalikesâand why she cared.
Wanda doesn't even know what she'll want to do with that information.Â
Wanda looks at Vision, peering at his features she's always found handsome. When she thinks back, she's not even sure why she complained to you about how she hasn't seen or heard from him lately. She hadn't even gone out of her own way to do something about it.
"I'm not going on the trip. I don't think I actually missed you like that."
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The girl introduced to you was named Raye, Natasha's coworker that recently moved from Nashville. It was also confirmed she has green eyes, though they had specks of brown in them. She was a southern belle with a bold attitude, witty, and a wicked sense of humor. All in all, undeniably charismatic.Â
At least, that's what you told her in private because all Wanda could feel was unrestricted aggravation with the other girl. The southern twang made Wanda's eye twitch, mostly because she knew you were head over heels for accents. Â
"And then before I knew it, I was panicked and more lost than a blindfolded turkey on thanksgiving!"
You burst out laughing while Wanda's expression is stony, but when you look at Wanda, she forces a smile on her lips.
"Hahaha," Wanda dryly let out. "So funny."
But it wasn't. What the fuck did that even mean?
Raye continues to talk while you listen with rapt interest, and Wanda takes the time to observe your features in a way she's done many times before but with a different mindset.Â
Your lips are curved in a smile, glistening from your chapstick. They're shapely, and they look soft. It rivals her favorite feature of yours, which is your eyes. They've always been so expressive with her, and Wanda's been around long enough that she knows what every expression means. She can tell when they glint with mischievousness or are soft with immense compassion and empathy.Â
"So, what did you think of Raye?" You ask Wanda as you leave the party.
"She's cool, I guess," Wanda answers nonchalantly.Â
The rest of the party was excruciating between Raye constantly hanging around you and Wanda also being too nervous to be alone with you.Â
"Really cool," you sigh with a grin. "Glad I got her number. It's been a while since I've met someone so funny."
Was she funny, though? Wanda wonders.
"Funnier than me?" Wanda finds herself asking.
"No one could be funnier than you, brat," you smirk. "I almost peed myself laughing again when you almost knocked off Yelena's cake. I thought Natasha was about to enter into a coma." You snicker while Wanda rolls her eyes with a smile.Â
"Glad I can always give you the biggest laughs, stinky."
Wanda glances over at your face, recognizing the excitement by the brightness in them. It's just another reminder that, as your best friend, she knows you like the back of her hand.Â
But lately, when Wanda watches you pick up girls, she can tell when they're heady with desire. That look hasn't been directed at her, and Wanda wants to know what it'd be like if it were.
Wanda recalls the night you kissed the bartender and imagines if it had been her instead. She pictures your hand sliding across her jaw and cheek while your other pulls her closer at the waist.Â
It's horrifying when a slow pit of arousal builds in Wanda's gut and...other regions. It feels utterly frightening and wrong like she's betraying the friendship for having and then reacting to such thoughts about you.Â
But there's another partâthe part that tells Wanda there's nobody in this world that she loves more than you. The mere idea of ever being apart from you was unfathomable. Wanda could and has endured so many things, and it would always be okay as long as she had you.Â
So, knowing that Southern Belle Raye has the potential to be more than a one-night stand to you, Wanda realizes that she has a very small window to not only come to terms with her newfound feelings but also act on them as well.Â
If this didn't go well, Wanda would definitely murder Steve.
PART TWO
#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff x you#wanda maximoff imagine#wanda maximoff fluff#wanda maximoff x y/n#avengers imagine#scarlet witch imagine#scarlet witch x reader#wanda maximoff fanfiction#modern avengers au#Elizabeth olsen x reader#mm: my fics
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Here I am with the ask!!! I was wondering if I could request headcanons for Adam, Alastor, Lucifer, Vox and Lute with how they would be with a sloth like S/o. I saw someone ask this on a blog I follow and I was stoked, I love this concept so much it's so funny I decided it's my favorite. INSANELY sleepy s/o, they sleep ALL the time and still manage to be super sleepy, they'd be walking down the street? They randomly fall asleep while walking, needless to say that's very dangerous in hell. In heaven a bit less, but let's say falling asleep while flying is definetely dangerous too. They're talking to someone? They might be trying to pay attention but still can't help help falling asleep, characters like Adam and Luci would definetely have no problem with that tho. They are incredibly slow, and also have the sloth tendency to climb(for the tall ones) and cling to said partner and hang onto them like ragdolls. They can stay awake if they replenish the energy they use immediately or by being monitored, but they're very concerning. I imagine warm milk would probably knock them out cold, coffee probably does little to nothing, maybe a huge amount would keep them on the brink of consciousness lol. (Sorry this got long, that's how much I find this concept hilarious, you don't actually have to include all everything I said if you don't wanna I was just rambling)
heyy again!! this is so cute and honestly iâm fangirling at the ideas i have for this haha, enjoy!!
Adam, Alastor, Lucifer, Lute, and Vox x Sloth!Reader
Adam
Thereâs a solid chance he makes fun of you for your sleepy antics, but only he can do that, no one else!
Unlike Hell, if you fall asleep on the side of the road in Heaven, heâll just toss ya over his shoulder like nothing happened
Honestly, Adam is pretty tall, and heâs got a bit of muscle under his fit, so he doesnât mind a bit if you climb about him and all that
Alastor
Honestly, Alastor doesnât mind your sleepy antics, it gives him an opportunity to get whatever he needs done for that time until you awake again
Although, he probably wonât let you climb him though, due to his dislike of physical touch, but dw heâll let you cling to him a bit
If you start to daze off while heâs talking he wonât mind, his smile will soften, and heâll tug you to his chest, talking you to sleep
Lucifer
You guys donât go out much, so itâs not often you fall asleep on the streets, but if you do, heâll pick you up bridal style, he wonât make a big fuss about it, at least until you get home
Like Alastor, if you fall asleep mid convo, he wonât mind, heâll just bring you to his chest and talk you to sleep
Although he is on the shorter side, if you wanna climb him, heâll certainly let you! He thinks itâs the cutest thing!
Lute
Honestly, Lute hates it when you sleep a lot, as because of her job, sheâs busy most of the time and canât see you, so when she does see you, and youâre asleep, itâs ehâŠ
If you climb on her, sheâll tense up a bit, but she wonât deny it, but thereâs a chance she will the first few times. Affection is new to her.
Vox
Heâs another tall one, so you could climb on him, but heâs a bit of a twig tbh, so he might not be able to hold you đ
If you fall asleep during conversation, heâll be all pissy, but if you fall asleep ON him, bro glitches so bad
Tried to make sure you donât fall alseep on the streets in the first place, but if you do, bitch is waking you up, ainât no way heâs carrying you
#hazbin hotel#mioâs writing ! â#hazbin hotel x reader#x reader#hazbin hotel x y/n#hazbin hotel x you#x y/n#x you#hazbin adam#adam hazbin hotel#adam x reader#hazbin hotel adam#hazbin alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#alastor#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer hazbin hotel#lucifer x reader#hazbin lucifer#lute hazbin#hazbin lute#lute hazbin hotel#lute x reader#vox x reader#vox hazbin#vox hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel vox
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Love Me Like A Rockstar (13)
ăŒâ Chapter 13: You Know Me Too Well
Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
ăŒâ Warning: cursing, usage of the word 'bitch' ăŒâ Word count: 6.5k ăŒâ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ăŒâ Rating: sfw ăŒâ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?
A/N: Well, well, lovelies...new chapter is up and maybe I'm kind of kicking my feet??? Who knows, we'll see what y'all think of this chapter hehe. Also, happy birthday to Song Mingi?! I actually didn't mean to post the new chapter today, but today was the only day I had enough time to write it sooo, yeah. Tmi, but MC's mother is exactly like my mom, so maybe I drew inspiration from real life lol, I love her to death but sometimes I really wish SHE DIDNT SPEAK lol. Also, I'm so obsessed with today's song for the chapter; I'm screaming, crying, throwing up over it LOL. Just a heads up, next chapter is the last like actual chapter of the series and then I decided to add an epilogue lol cue the sobbing. As per usual, listen to You Know Me Too Well before or while reading the chapter! I hope you enjoy and let me know through feedback hehe <3 Enjoy your weekends! divider
Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @scarfac3 @juicy-red
@sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng
@deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @mjlbn01 @xhexy @tmtxtf
@hwashiningstar @thatfavouritesong @ateez-atiny380 @xciiiomwliah @vixensss
@catchingskzzzs @tesssaurrr @ginger-mingi @mingisbbg
âšSeries M.list â Previous Chapterâ©
â«Playlistâ«
           Saturday (2:55 pm)
Me: mingi can we talk?
Saturday (8:30 pm)
Me: i am free whenever you say so just let me know and iâll be there
           Sunday (9:15 am)
Me: we need to talk, mingi.
           Sunday (12:08 am)
Me: please hear me out im sorry
Monday (current time)
           âDo you think heâll slam the door in my face?â The hallways were buzzing with life as I tried to veer my way around the crowd of students without running into anyone. Today, out of all days, I just so happened to have my last class of the day in a completely different building and at least a good five-minute walk away from the arts building.
âItâs what youâd deserve, to be fair, butââ The was a gasp on the other side of the phone and my eyebrows furrowed as Seulgi muttered something to someone, muffled, âsorry, Wooyoung almost dropped my motherâs favorite vase, I told him to take off that blindfold.â
Eyebrows furrowing even deeper, I abruptly stopped walking, making a girl give me a heated glare that I didnât care for, âWhy is he blindfolded? Wait! I actually donât want to know.â
âWe were playing hide and seek with his niece, you idiot, but I got bored and sneaked away when I saw you calling.â Seulgiâs voice was exasperated and I chuckled as I took off again, leaving the science majorâs building as I nuzzled further into my thick scarf. Some days it was warmer, but most days it got really cold and I hated it. I couldnât deal with the freezing weather, perhaps it was my biggest enemy after Jeong Yunho, âAnyways, as I was saying, you deserve to be ignored by Mingi, but knowing how big of a sucker he is for you, heâll probably give in before you can utter a single word.â
My heart jumped at the thought as I gnawed on my bottom lip, cutting off the path as I hurried through the grass, uncaring that I was probably destroying the work of the gardener. Besides, the grass had barely just started growing out again, it would be fine, âYou think so?â
âI know so.â I heard Wooyoungâs high-pitched voice shouting from the distance and my eyebrows furrowed as I realized Seulgi had probably put me on speaker. Now that was a bit awkward, âHeâs an idiot, but heâs in love. Now that I come to think of it, you two are a lot alike, two idiots in loveââ
âI believe your niece is looking for you, babe.â Seulgi cut her boyfriend off and I was thankful because I donât think I couldâve handled hearing him say the words âin loveâ again. That was scary, even just the thought of it. I was barely coming to terms with liking Mingi, but hearing the word love sort of made me want to turn back around and abandon my whole plan of trying to make peace between the two of us. And Seulgi knew this, thankfully, because she didnât say anything about it again, âAre you on your way to his studio right now?â
I hummed and curled my fingers tighter around the thermos bottle, my nose cold from the weather as the arts building finally came into sight, âYeah, three minutes and Iâm there.â
âGood.â Seulgi sounded content and I sighed as I tried to ignore the dawning anxiety that tried to crawl through my body and make me abandon my well-thought-out plan. I had to do this. Seulgi and my mom were right, I couldnât mess this up again. I liked Mingi, a lot. He is a good guy and I shouldnât let my past and my fears dictate my life. Yes, Mingi is Yunhoâs best friend, but Mingi isnât like Yunho. Hopefully, âUpdate me later then, I love you Y/N, I hope you know that.â
I chuckled and nodded at the security guard as he was out of his cubicle, standing at the bottom of the steps, smoking his cigar, âI know, thank you for knocking some sense into me.â
âWeâll see about that later.â Her snort was amused and I shook my head as we said our goodbyes, the warmth of the building making me sigh out in relief as I entered through the front doors. I pocketed my phone and unwrapped my scarf from around my neck, greeting the familiar people I crossed paths with. I would be lying if I said I wasnât feeling nervous at all, after all, I didnât know how Mingi would react. If he was anything like me, he wouldnât forgive me so easily. Not when Iâve hurt him again and in the worst way possible.
As I ascended the marble stairs, I found stability in the thermos bottle clutched firmly in both of my hands now, its weight helping me to keep my determination and focus on going through with my own plan. When I woke this morning and went to take a quick shower, I was surprised to hear my motherâs singing and smell the delicious waft of pancakes, making my stomach growl loudly as I didnât have dinner the night before. It seemed like my mother had taken a day off, grumbling something about her deserving a day to rest after she was almost choked out by one of her mentally ill patients. I couldnât help but agree with her as we sat at the table in silence, enjoying our breakfast, that is until she cleared her throat loudly and stood up, fetching a mug and a cup from the counter next to the sink. I froze when I realized she was handing me the cup Mingi had designed with funny looking chicks on it, and I was even more confused when I realized it wasnât coffee I was drinking, but hot chocolate.
âSo, what are you going to do about that handsome fella?â I tried not to groan or regret the fact that I told her everything about Mingi. I took a tentative sip of the hot chocolate and realized it wasnât hot before taking a bigger gulp as I enjoyed its sweet taste.
âIâll talk to him todayââ
âGreat!â My mother didnât even let me finish as she sprung up from her seat again to fetch something from a cupboard, âItâs amazing how strong our maternal intuition is, I swear my starlight, you should make some babies soon.â
âMom.â I groaned as I watched her curiously as she took a blue thermos bottle from the cupboard and filled it with hot chocolate from the kettle, âWeâve had this discussion many times before, Iâm not having children so young.â
âYouâre not that young though.â She sent me a sheepish smile as my eyes widened, feigning hurt.
âIâm turning twenty-three?! How is that not young?â She cleared her throat as she sealed the thermos and walked back to the table to sit down.
âIâm just trying to inspire you, anyways,â She huffed and then placed the thermos on the table and pushed it towards me, âBring this to him as peace offering, heâll love it. Trust me.â
âI donât think what Mingi needs right now is hot chocolateââ
âFinish your breakfast and shut up.â My mother didnât let me finish as she cut off a thick part of the pancake with her fork and forced it inside my mouth, making me groan, âMothers know best when it comes to stuff like this, be thankful Iâm saving your relationship and be back before lunch. Iâm ordering take out, and I certainly am not waiting for late your ass if Iâm hungry.â
I knew fighting my mom was fruitless, so I just grumbled an okay as I tried to chew the pancake she had forced in my mouth, my cheeks all puffed out. My mother seemed content that I finally wasnât talking back to her and I shook my head as I pulled the thermos bottle towards me, reminded of the time when Mingi had brought me tea knowing that I would be feeling probably a little sick after getting all soaked in the cold rain and harsh wind.
So, now, with Mingiâs clothes in my tote bag and the thermos filled with hot chocolate in my hands, I couldnât help but feel optimistic despite the anxiety gripping at my thoughts. If my mother, Seulgi, and even Wooyoungâwho knew Mingi like the back of his handâwere convinced that everything would work out just fine, then why would I not believe that? Sure, Mingi was probably still annoyed at me, but I didnât think a few apologies and even more explanations couldnât fix the issue at hand. All I had to do was be honest and come clean with my feelings and heâd probably do the same and thenâthatâs where anxiety stepped in. Then what? Was I ready to pursue a relationship? Did Mingi want to date me? Did I want to date him? Why did it have to be Jeong Yunhoâs best friend I was into? Why could I not move past my fears and stop associating Mingi with everything I was wounded by, when he never once made me feel like Yunho did? I could dwell on these thoughts for an eternity, I fear, but I didnât have that time right now. And to be fair, I didnât want to think of such things right now because I could feel my determination wither the closer I got to the music majorsâ floor, heartbeat loud in my ears.
I stopped at the end of the hallway and took a deep breath, eyes settling on the studio I knew now was used by Mingi only. Wooyoung was nice enough to tell me the number of his studioânot that I had forgotten since the last time I was hereâand he also let me know that it was used by Mingi only, the teachers having granted him full access, even at hours when students were supposed to be at home. It seems so Mingi was a favorite amongst the teachers, and I could see why. He was diligent and hard-working; his lyrics were beautiful and nothing would stop him from fulfilling his dream of becoming a well-known rockstar. I couldnât help but feel excited at the prospect of that, and hoped that I would be part of his journey, that heâd let me back into his life.
Steeling my nerves and trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I knew there was no turning back. I wanted to do this, I had to do this. I had to stop sabotaging myself, and so, I marched down the hallway towards Mingiâs studio with a newfound hope and determination. Which lasted about five seconds as I came face to face with Mingiâs studio door. There was a small window on it, which would let you know whether the room was occupied or not, and it was straight across the desk where he was sat atâwith the blonde girl standing right next to him. And that should have been okay, because really, Mingi could talk to whoever and spend his time also with whoever he pleased. And itâs not like I didnât have male friendsâI didnât, Seulgi was my only friendâitâs not like he couldnât speak to one of his fans. After all, heâs made it clear she was nothing more than a fan he appreciated for helping spread the word about his band.
But then, why was her hand on his shoulder one second and the next second slowly trailing down the sleeve of his beige cardiganâwhich looked like it was messily stained with paintâand certainly the way my good disposal dissipated and was overtaken by blind jealousy and rage had nothing to do with the sudden possessiveness that shook me to my core. And perhaps the thing that bothered me the most wasnât even her feeling up Mingiâs arm as she looked down at him with sultry eyes, perhaps it was the way Mingi leaned back in his chairs, legs spread wide, and smirk on his lips as he looked up at her with his sharp gaze, allowing her to touch him. Perhaps thatâs what sent me over the edge as I barged inside the studio in the most unceremonious way, making the girl yelp in fright and Mingi flinch as his eyes widened.
ăBaby, you're all that I want
I want you all to myself
Oh, but you know me too wellă
And when I was angryâor panicking, or hurtâall rational thoughts flew out the window as I was led by nothing else but pure instinct and a shit ton of unclear and not so necessarily nice thoughts. Simpler put, I wasnât thinking nor making sense, but I couldnât care less as I glared at the both of them while I struggled to mask the fury licking at my veins. They were both looking at me wide eyed, as if I had caught them doing something I wasnât supposed to, and that made me snap before I could think through how to proceed with this whole shitshow, âGet out.â
For a second, even I didnât recognize my voice as it dropped a few octaves, fierce gaze set on the blonde girl as she paled, eyes scrambling between Mingi and me as, suddenly, Mingi seemed to snap out of whatever scare I had given him by slamming his door open and into the wall. God, I hope I havenât actually damaged it, because I certainly didnât have the money to pay for it right now. I couldnât look at the blonde girl anymore, heart beating fast in my chest as Mingi and I made eye contact, his eyebrows set in a deep frown as he had a sneer on his face.
âExcuse me?â God, even her voice was annoying. I looked back at the blonde girl and raised my eyebrows at her mockingly.
âAre you deaf?â I chuckled, but it was humorless, âDo I need to repeat myself?â
She huffed, looking offendedârightfully soâand I gritted my teeth as I stepped inside the studio, making it pretty obvious that I wasnât going anywhere before this bitch left. I tried not to see red as Mingiâs hands balled up into fists or the way the girl snickered, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
âYouâre the one thatâs barged inside uninvited, sweetheart,â And if I could have, I would have ripped her blonde strands out, âthis isnât your fucking studio, so, shut up. Mingi wants me here, maybe you should leave.â
I bit my bottom lip to stop myself from laughing, somewhere deep in my mind realizing I looked absolutely psychotic and if Mingi didnât hate me before, he certainly would hate me now. I wasnât helping myself; I was making everything worseâjust the usual, then. But this bitch wasnât stopping me from getting what I came here for, and I hummed as my eyes fell on Mingi again, whoâs jaw was clenching and unclenching. His sharp eyes were narrowed, but it seemed like he wasnât saying anything anytime soon and that only pissed me off more.
âSure,â I nodded and walked further inside, forcefully throwing my tote bag on the small couch against the wall on my left, making the contents of it spill out. I watched as both Mingi and the girl looked at the clothes, and Mingiâs expression flashed with something unreadable for a second, âMingi wants you here.â
I suppose neither expected me not to stop until I reached the desk, coming up on Mingiâs left side as I slammed the thermos bottleâalbeit too harshlyâagainst the desk, a loud bang echoing in the room. Mingiâs eyebrows furrowed as I opened my mouth to tell the girl to leave again, but suddenly, he was up on his feet, staring me down. The height difference wasnât that great between the two of us, but suddenly I felt small under his heated glare and sneer that seemed to settle on his lips, broad shoulders intimidating as he lowered his head just a little bit. He looked nothing like the Mingi I had gotten to know over the past few months, and it made my heart race as I realized I might not be able to reason with him today, âWhat the fuck is your problem, Y/N?! You tell her to get out when you barge in unwelcomed, and then start demanding for her to leaveââ
I couldnât even let him finish his sentence before I was firing back my argument, âOh, whatâs my fucking problem?! Maybe the fact that you lied to me?â
âAbout what?!â Mingi snapped, eyebrows furrowed as he took a step towards me, his body big enough to make the blonde girl not be seen behind him.
âOh, be for real.â I scoffed and rolled my eyes, âYou never show anyone your songs to? But you so conveniently let me listen to that unfinished song of yours and now look who else gets to listen to it? Her. If youâre so desperate to get laid, you should haveââ
âI didnât show her shit.â Mingi cut me off, voice shaking as his cheeks grew red from anger, probably. Mingi wasnât a scary person, but he looked scary right now. There was no ounce of kindness in his expression nor tone, he looked cold and angry and like he hated me. I gulped and realized, once again, that I was digging myself deeper into the shithole I had created for myself, that I was hurting him again and again. This is not how things were supposed to go, âI only showed you. That unfinished song youâre talking about, only you know about it. Thanks for reminding me again why I shouldnât deal with you anymoreââ
âStop it.â I snapped, eyebrows furrowing as I felt fear grip at my throat, making my voice sound shaky as Mingiâs expression went blank. I hated when he did that. I wanted to know what he was thinking about, I needed to see what he felt. I couldnât do this if he withdrew himself, I couldnât do this if I was the only one that would bare her heart to him. I was scared. He was pushing me away like Yunho had done, Mingi was abandoning me.
âStop it?â If I wanted to cry when he laughed in my face mockingly, impassive smirk settling on his lips, I didnât let it happen. I kept my composure, anger, hurt, desperation, yearning all mixing together as I found it harder and harder to breathe, âYou want me to be nice to you after all the shit you said to me on Saturday? You want me to treat you like before after everything thatâs happened? I canât. You hurt me, made me feel like a fucking idiot, Y/N, you brokeâI thought we were friends. I feel disrespected and played, and yet here you are again, acting like you have even an ounce of right to act the way you are right now, when itâs you who made it so fucking clear you want nothing to do with me anymore. Do you enjoy making others suffer? Do you want to see me on my fucking knees begging for your attention? I have enough self-respect to step back and move on with my life when someone so blatantly tells it to my face that I am nothingââ
âBut you arenât!â My tone raised without me meaning to as my heart continued to beat out of my chest so fast my ears started ringing. I felt tears prick at my eyes, but I didnât want to cry. I didnât want to victimize myself, I just wanted Mingi to understand I made a mistake, that I knew I did, and that I was trying to fix things. I didnât want us to part ways, especially not like this, he made me realize this second that I didnât want to lose him, âYou arenât nothing to me. I said those things because Iâm scared. I donât know how to navigate these feelingsââ
âSave it, okay?â I was left gaping as Mingi shook his head, pushing his hands in the pockets of his light denim jeans, âI donât want to hear whatever sob shit you have to say right now, Iâm asking you kindly to leave before I call security and delete my number, like I have deleted yours.â
The silence that settled upon us was deafening and my eyebrows furrowed as a tear rolled down my cheek without warning, my chest rising and falling rapidly as I tried to find my breath. That hurt, it hurt more than anything before, it hurt more than when Yunho left me, broke my heart. Mingi meant so much more to me than Yunho ever did, and I bit my lower lip as Mingi seemed unaffected, expression blank and rather bored. Nothing was making sense anymore. I was scared, but I also felt ready to break free of the chains of the past, I wanted Mingi. And knowing all this, I didnât want to hold back anymore, I didnât want to consider my next words anymore. I just wanted to speak my mind freely.
âMy ex-boyfriend is Jeong Yunho, your best friend.â Mingi had almost turned away from me, but he froze, head slowly turning back to face me once again, âWe dated back in high school, many years ago, when we were still some headless and stupid teenagers. But he was the first boy Iâve ever loved and he fucking broke my heart, shattered into pieces with a bright smile on his lips. He promised me many things, and I was naĂŻve, so I believed it all. And because I did, I ended up hurt beyond fixing and Iâve never trusted a man again. He was my first boyfriend and the center of my universe, yet he never cared enough about me to properly break up with me.
âYunho talked about you all the time. Everything you liked, everything you hated, you were part of our daily conversations and I always wished to meet you, to see what was so great in you that had Yunho gushing all the time. I was jealous, so jealous that I became bitter. I started hating even the mention of your name, I selfishly wanted Yunho to myself, and you gone from his life. I couldnât understand what was so great about you and why I wasnât enough. I knew Yunho didnât love me, but I wanted him to, so I made myself believe it, believe that I was worth more to him than youâll ever be. And in the process, I stupidly made myself believe that heâd never leave me, that he was the one for me like he has said so many times before.
âHe broke my heart so fucking bad that it took years until I could say his name or even see his face again. I am over him now, have been for a long time, but I canât help still feel bitter about him. I canât help but associate you with him at times. He made me defensive and untrusting of men, I couldnât help but assume youâd be just like Yunho when I first met you, at least when I finally realized who you were. I felt so guilty, I tried to push you away but you wouldnât fucking give up. You are everything yet nothing like Yunho and that scares me, because I want you, Mingi. But Iâm scared youâll abandon me like Yunho did, that youâll fill my head with empty and pretty fantasies and then leave me alone with them, tearing my heart apart in the process. I want to open up, but Iâm scared. I think, however, with you by my side, Iâd be able to do that, to let my walls down.â
The silence that settled upon us, once again, was deafening and I gulped, heart racing and making me feel lightheaded as Mingiâs face had fallen, expression finally not as void as before. He looked shocked, but surprisingly, he didnât look hurt nor like he would hate me for ever. It made me hopeful for a second, it made me sniff loudly and blink away the insisting tears from my eyes. He gulped and took a deep breath, making me stare in his eyes, hopeful and less scared, as he sighed and rubbed at his chin; a stubble was showing. Now that I come to think of it, he looks rather tired with bags under his eyes, and his platinum hair has a blue hue to it.
âIâm sorry he made you go through so much; I know it wasnât easy.â Mingiâs tone finally lost the edge it had before, finally it wasnât laced with so much anger, and it almost made me cry, âI kind ofâI knew. Not exactly the whole thing, but I suppose I can say I had a feeling that there was history between you and Yunho. It was too obvious whenever I brought him up that you didnât like him, at first I was confused, but then I suppose everything just clicked into place. The drawing of his eyes, the sweater you lent me and the fact that you gave it to me in the endâIâve known since then that it was probably Yunho. I never said anything to him, not like that at least, I wanted you to come to me on your own, when you fully trusted me with the information. And Iâm sorry, but heâhe was an asshole back in high school, he was insecure and he played with everyoneâs feelings, he was quite good at manipulating people around him. Heâs mentioned dating you, but very few times, and by the time you had broken up I had all but forgotten about you, I suppose I wasnât much better compared to him.
âBut all of this isnât my fault in the end, and while I completely understand your reasoning now and why you often acted the way you did, Iâm sorry, but I canât just let go of things and start anew. Thereâs justâtoo many things that have happened, emotions that you stirred up in me, and I just canât do it, Iâitâs not even about you and Yunho, I donât give a fuck about it, it was ages ago and Yunho is a changed man and I know heâs long moved on. And you too, I believe you have, you seemed less bitter lately, but I just canât. I canât help but ask again, what do you want, YN?â
At least he wasnât mad at me, but I did feel ashamed that I made him piece everything together on his own, that I wasnât capable of telling him the truth myself. I have made mistakes, sure, but Mingi apparently didnât hate me for them, âI just want to apologize, for everything.â
Mingi nodded and I watched in despair as that cold mask slipped back onto his face, expression void of any emotion once again. It made me want to grab his shoulders and shake them, force him to look deep into my eyes and just see everything I felt for him, âThatâs fine, I accept your apology. If thatâs all, you can leaveââ
âBut thatâs not all!â I snapped, having had enough of being dismissed by him. I saw the way his jaw twitched, the way his eyebrows furrowed at my defiance, at my reluctance to leave just yet. I was being pathetic and a pain in the ass, but I had to make him understand that I was ready to leave all my fears behind for him, to learn how to be a better person next to him. I wanted to change, and I wanted it to happen with him by my side, with him guiding me and teaching me how to be more like him, and less like the shitty person I was for so long. I longed to be the way I was before meeting Yunho, a lot happier and a lot less broody and hateful of the beautiful things that surrounded me, âMingi, I cannot stop thinking about you. I spend every waking moment when weâre apart wondering what youâre up to, whatâs going through your mind, whether youâre okay or not. And Iâve been drawing you, since the first time I saw you, youâve captured my attention, youâve made me curious of who you were the longer we spent time together. I donât want to be like this anymore, I donât want to hurt you anymore and shut you out, I want to fix everything. I want toâI just want you, Mingi.â
There was a quiet scoff behind Mingi, but neither one of us reacted to it as our gazes bore into each other, my eyes glinting with yearning and his façade slowly breaking down as he released a shaky breath, âMingi, I adore you.â
âGet out.â For a second, my body froze as I thought he was addressing me, but then, he whirled around and pointed towards the studioâs still open door, âGet out, now.â
And I just realized that the blonde girl had been witness to everything, and I couldnât help but blanch in embarrassment as she made to interject, but I guess Mingiâs sharp eyes made her reconsider her choice as she huffed and then stormed out of the studio. My cheeks felt hot and I realized the clothes were making me sweaty, so as Mingi hurried towards the door to close it, I shrugged my jacket off and placed it neatly on the back of the sofa together with my thick scarf. And as I looked up, mouth dry as the door clicked shut and Mingi turned around, it felt like time stopped, like the world stopped moving. But Mingi was moving towards me, in nothing more than three steps he stood in front of me, and before I could even as much as try to reason with him or plead more to be forgiven, warm fingers dug into my cheeks and the wind was knocked from my lungs as his plush warm lips slammed against mine, making me gasp as my eyes remained wide open.
ăFilthy impetuous soul
I wanna give it to youă
I thought he wouldnât want anything to do with me, I thought heâd tell me that he needed time to forgive me completely and for us to work things out. But I couldnât help shudder and feel ecstatic as I grabbed the collar of his shirt and cardigan, my eyes falling shut, as I pulled him closer to my body, savoring the kiss as if it was our first. But it wasnât anything like that one, it wasnât soft nor careful nor slow, it was hurried and desperate as Mingi pushed me backward, pressing me against the wall, right between the small space between the sofa and the desk. My arms circled his neck as he grabbed my nape with one big hand and pressed his other into the small of my back, making it arch as my fingers tangled into his soft hair, not pulling, just feeling the need to hold onto something, to keep myself grounded.
And much like the first time, our lips seemed to fit perfectly, and I tried not to keen when he sucked my bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling on the soft flesh, and I tried not to turn into a puddle when he hummed lowly against my lips as my fingers flexed in his hair. Perhaps I kissed him a bit harder and more aggressively as our pace quickened, my hand holding the side of his neck as Mingi pressed his body into mine until it felt like he was trying to forbid me even of the idea of escaping from his clutches, and I had no fucking intention of going anywhere, because in his arms I felt content and safe, and perhaps a bit too hot as goosebumps covered my arms the longer our lips moved hungrily against each other. And when I cupped his cheeks and perhaps held onto them a bit too firmly, his lips parted, and I ignored my lungs screaming for air as my tongue slipped past his parted mouth. I didnât expect him to moan as our tongues tangled together, all wet and perhaps a little disgusting, but neither one of us cared about that.
I tried to stand on my tip toes for better access as Mingiâs ring clad fingers were suddenly running through my hair and tilting my head back, making my skin tingle where he held my hip firmly. I had been kissed by other people before, but neither felt like with Mingi, neither made me crave more and more and more. But our lungs could only go on so long without air, and I wouldâve been embarrassed for the loud gasp I let out when we finally parted, if it wasnât for Mingi diving straight for my neck and finding the sweet spot that made me putty in his arms. And I tried to ignore his deep grunts as my fingers got tangled in his platinum blonde strands as he pressed open mouthed and wet kisses against my neck, his arms around my hips pulling me into an embrace that had my pulse showing through the skin of my neck. My lips were tingling and my lungs actually hurt, but I couldnât care less when Mingi finally pulled back and blinked his dark eyes open, pupils dilated and lips so swollen he almost made me chase after them once again.
ăOh, just to see what you'd do
'Cause I'm so drunk on youă
âWhatâs in the thermos?â His voice was raspier than usual, and it made me bite my bottom lip as my eyes searched his face, his falling on my lips instead.
âHot chocolate, for peace making.â I answered, sounding a lot more breathless than I actually felt, and Mingi chuckled, the sound deep in his throat. I let my arms fall from his shoulders and instead circled them around his torso, trying to fight off the smile from my lips. Mingi didnât look angry nor dismissive anymore, but I knew I wasnât actually forgiven just yet. And that was only fair.
âThis is peacemaking, not the hot chocolate.â And there it was, the mischievous glint in his eyes and the smug smirk on his lips as he squeezed my hips once and lowered his face until our lips brushed together, âAlthough I do appreciate the hot chocolate too.â
âGood, my mom was rather excited when she told me to give it to you.â I pressed a chaste kiss against Mingiâs lips before he could try and say anything, and he chuckled when I pulled away, eyes creasing and crooked front teeth showing.
âWhat are we now?â His voice was a mere whisper, not insecure nor scared, just wondering, âWhat do you want?â
I gulped, but decided to be honest. No more hiding my feelings and thoughts from him, âI donât know just yet, and thatâs why I need you to take the lead, but thisâI want more of this, of you.â
âGood,â Mingi hummed, lips pursed as he kissed my cheek once before slowly releasing me from his warm embrace, âbecause Iâve been wanting more of you for fucking ages, doll.â
I couldnât help but chuckle as suddenly I felt embarrassed and perhaps a little shy, but Mingi seemed to be unphased as he grabbed my tote bag and looked through it because his clothes were in it, âYou can keep these, they looked better on you anyway. But you better not give them to Yunho if he ever happens to go over to your houseââ
âMingi.â I snapped mortified and pushed his arm as he dropped the tote bag and burst out laughing, giving me a cheeky smile.
âWant to hear the rest of the song I made for you?â
âFor me?â
âYeah, doll, for you.â
           By the time I managed to get home I might as well been on cloud nine and in so much ecstasy that one would think I was on drugs. Which, kind of felt like it after the day I have hadânot that Iâve ever done any drugs. I failed to notice my motherâs silhouette in the window of our kitchen when I got out of Mingiâs car and, of course, that meant she saw him get out of his old Honda Prelude and jog after me to kiss me hard and leave me dizzy before he left. And all of that, of course, meant that by the time I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, my mother was leaning against the archway of the kitchen with the widest smirk Iâve ever seen on her face.
âSo, did you have sex?â
My eyes widened in mortification and I struggled to step out of my boots and shrug off my jacket, âMom!â
âSo, you did, huh.â It wasnât even a question, and suddenly running after Mingiâs car sounded a lot better than standing in front of my mother as she bit her bottom lip, giving me a wink.
âWe didnât!â I exclaimed, cheeks flushed a deep red as I cradled the tote bag to my chest, âHe needs to take me out on a date firstâmany dates, actually.â
âWell, he better hurry up then cuz youâre glowing and youâre happy.â I froze at my motherâs words as she looked at me with a serene expression on her face, lips pulled into a small smile, forgetting all about her previous teasing, âHeâs good for you, too good. I havenât seen you so relaxed and happy sinceâsince highschool.â
Since Yunho broke up with me.
âI know, and I will make sure I never hurt him again.â I told my mom and she hummed, looking down at her wristwatch.
âYou missed lunch, by the way, so youâll eat chicken tendersââ
âAgain?!â
âAgain, exactly. Go wash up before dinner.â
And I was out of her sight in no time, with a newfound rush in my system, skin tingling as I realized I craved to hold my pencil and my sketchbook in my hands. I couldnât remember the last time I drew something for me and not because it was an assignment. And if hours later the sketch looked a lot like a familiar platinum blonde haired man with sharp eyes and a tall nose wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a beige cardigan over it, accessories many and nails painted black, then I wouldnât even deny it anymore. Perhaps he would love seeing my drawings. Perhaps I should finally show him.
Mings đ€: date on wednesday? Me: but im paying this time Mings đ€: so when we went to the pottery coffee shop it was a date wasnt it, doll Me: maybe it was maybe it wasnt Mings đ€: no maybes this time
ăOh, but you know me too well
Oh, but you know me too well, wellă
â±â± Next chapter
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Another installment of random Sonic Headcanons
Sonic doesn't like buttercream frosting, Tails doesn't like whipped frosting, and Knuckles always wipes 90% of the frosting off his cake
When Tails is doing something, whether it's working in his lab or just making dinner, Sonic will shadow box the air behind him. He stops when Tails turns around to look at him, but the fox very much knows that Sonic is throwing fake punches at him lol
Tails, Cream, and Charmy play animal crossing (or the Sonic equivalent lol) together
Matter of fact, I think like all the characters play video games together. I'm sure they have different types of video games they like (I can see Sonic playing animal crossing but Jet? Not so much) but it's not odd for them to enter an online lobby
Tails loves crunchy foods
Espio once asked Vector to death roll him to "see if his body could take it".... Vector obviously said no
I don't think any of the cast really feel famous, except for maybe the Babylon Rogues bc they're (probably) sports stars
No matter how often they get asked for an autograph or approached in public they're all like "???? Yeah ??? I guess I can take a picture with you ???"
I think hedgehogs are one of the most common races (species??) of Mobian
If the Robotniks were Mobian they would be robins (<- pretty sure I've said that before) and possibly various other red and black birds
Barry and Tails keep in contact, but they don't get a lot of chances to hang out
I don't have anything for Blaze and Silver rn but just know that I love them dearly and I'm always thinking of them
Cream is determined to befriend Shadow. She will stop at nothing until he admits that they are friends
Sonic hates being on talkshows, and talkshows hate having him on, so it's mutual lol
The Rookie (whose name i cannot remember rn it's on the tip of my tongue omg) keeps the most contact with Knuckles, but everyone still stops to chat when they get the chance
Shadow suffers from memory loss after... Falling out of a spaceship and... Losing his memory...
I think for a while he was too prideful to write things down or set reminders because heaven forbid the ultimate lifeform needs help. This led to Shadow forgetting where his own place was and refusing to ask how to get there
Maybe this is my new explanation for why Shadow is always in caves and is never shown in a house of his own, instead of the actual explanation lol
Sonic often talks to Gaia/Chip when he's alone, Tails caught him a few times and has also picked up the habit, though he does talk to him less than Sonic does
Charmy doesn't like bananas
I've said this before in this post about shadows development, but I think he sheds a lot. Hedgehogs aren't actually supposed to lose quills unless they're super stressed, but because Shadow's DNA is only partially Mobian Hedgehog, a few things are off
Okay, that's all for now. I feel like this one's kinda short, but it's whatevs !! Feel free to talk to me about your own hcs I LOVE hearing about them. Happy year of Shadow everyone !!!!!!
I am a Tails centric blog but feel free to hit up my DMs or askbox about any of these characters !!!
#sth#sonic the hedgehog#miles tails prower#shadow the hedgehog#i have the mic#knuckles the echidna#amy rose#sonic headcanons#sth headcanons#sth hcs#charmy the bee#charmy bee#espio the chameleon#vector the crocodile#tails the fox#sonic and tails#sonic#cream the rabbit#barry the quokka#the babylon rogues#i once again feel like I'm posting too much#but im trying not to feel that way bc its my blog and i can do whatever i want#something something cring is the mind killer something something free will and other expeletives
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Btw, if anyone cares to know, my position on Biden and the 2024 election is this:
Starting September* 1, 2024, I will be doing whatever I can to make sure that Trump does not get a second term as president
Until that day, I'm going to be doing whatever I can to push for an end to the genocide in Gaza and an immediate ceasefire, and that includes criticizing, protesting, and lambasting Biden for funding and providing weapons for Israel's genocide
ETA: I will still be posting about significant good things the Biden administration has done, though, because some of it is a really big deal that people deserve to know about
ETA: But I will not be defending Biden from any criticism around Palestine/Israel/war crimes
*This originally said October 1st but someone pointed out to me that there are a few states where early voting starts in late September, including a couple swing states, so I changed it because that's a very good point
I don't plan to tell anyone not to vote for Biden in the meantime, myself, because shitty two party system and I'm really serious about Trump not getting reelected
But I'm also not going to do anything to discourage people who are seriously rallying against Biden, because he is, you know, literally bypassing Congress to make sure he can fund crimes against humanity
I never want to diminish that reality.
And more than that: If we want genocide to actually be a dealbreaker for politicians and presidents... then we need to start acting like it could be.
--
Details/related thoughts:
I will still be posting about good things Biden and his administration are doing, because they are the ones running the US government and Congress is super deadlocked, so a lot of the national-level good news in the US has been done by his administration, and I'm not going to stop posting about that good news
Shout-out to the anon who accused me of being a US government propagandist with a whole PR team bc I posted about Biden a few days in a row. I promise you I'm blogging from my bed in my pjs and do not have a PR team lol
Also, for people who don't think we should be spreading serious criticism about Biden, for fear of Trump winning in 2024: I hear you--that's an incredibly valid fear. I've struggled with that myself, in the process of coming to this(/these) decision(s). But consider this: it's better that we really pile on the criticism and pressure now, because a) people are dying, and b) Biden's chances will be much worse if Israel is still bombing/decimating Gaza on election day
Relatedly, for anyone who's tempted to think Trump would be better when it comes to the Gaza genocide, again, it's really understandable to want to put your hope in any viable alternative. However, I promise you that is not going to happen. Joe Biden at least conditionally gives a couple shits about human life. Trump doesn't. Remember Trump's Muslim ban? In all likelihood, Trump would just tell Israel to bomb Gaza harder and ban Palestinian refugees from entering the US
Last thing on Trump: maybe this is naive of me, but for a lot of reasons, I'm not actually particularly worried about Trump winning in 2024. If I was, I might have made some different calls here. I have a few asks about this in my inbox and will probably make a post at some point about the reasons why, but yeah, Democrats have mostly been wanting to run against Trump instead of DeSantis or Haley or whoever for some very real reasons
You're welcome to disagree with me/this post in any direction, btw
Seriously, I'm just a random person who doesn't speak for anyone besides myself and my own blog. I'm not saying these are categorically the right answers, or that any of this is what everyone should be doing. This is simply the system I have settled on (right now) for how I personally want to handle all of this
You're welcome to disagree with me but please don't send me any angry asks about any of it. Not that I in any way get a lot of those, thankfully! But yeah, this isn't something I'm interested in debating, this is mostly for notification/explanation purposes
#palestine#cw war#cw genocide#us politics#biden#not news#me#reminder that all my posts related to the war/genocide are tagged as âpalestineâ and âcw warâ#and if you need to filter reminders about all of this then you should#esp coming from you know a good news blog#Far better to engage with all of this news/info deliberately when/where you're in a place to handle it#then to keep spiraling and spiraling because it keeps surprising you in the middle of your dash#that's what I do actually I have several related tags filtered on here#and then when I'm up for it I go read a bunch of news articles and look up protest listings#and you know actually go to protests or post about it on here etc. etc.
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Ice
Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader (fem)
Genre: romance, angst, fluff, smut; mafia!AU, strangers-to-lovers, 18+
Word Count: 4.5k
Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence, mentions of blood; explicit sexual content, unprotected sex (seriously guys - donât do what they do here, in terms of protection or consent), loss of virginity (graphic)
Authorâs Note: Hello everyone! Iâve been gone for a really long time, I know - but Iâm finally making my way back to this blog and to writing again. I have a few fics in the pipeline, but hereâs my first new release! Itâs a very different style/genre/length from what Iâve posted here before; itâs a bit darker in tone and less fluffy (allâs well that ends well though lol) - so feedback and thoughts are extra extra appreciated!
Summary: Sheer good looks aside thoughâŠyouâd seen his face on the news. What was his name? You remembered that it was something elegant, soft on the lips - a name that didnât seem to fit the cruel, hardened mafioso it belonged to.Â
It was only when those cold icy eyes locked with yours, gaze chilling even from all the way across the bar, that it finally came to mind.Â
Hwang Hyunjin.Â
You looked pathetic, you supposed.Â
Sitting painfully alone, ignored in the midst of this packed club, idly stirring a drink you hadnât taken a sip of, hadnât even wanted in the first place. Your so-called date had foisted it on youâŠbefore he realized that plying you with alcohol wasnât going to affect his chances of getting any either way, and quickly left to try his luck elsewhere.Â
And it was just as well. You really werenât cut out for this type of stuff. Youâd never been, honestly - youâd gone to a few parties in college, gone on even fewer dates, and done nothing that ended up with you going home with someone. Your roommate had finally had enough though, and thatâs how youâd ended up here.Â
âGo have some fun for once,â sheâd said. âYou need to lose that V-card before your tits start sagging, love.â And before you could even think of an adequately snippy response, sheâd thrown a phone number at you - a friend of a friend of a friend, supposedly - and sashayed out of your room, hollering behind her that sheâd be out all night, so you could bring anyone you wanted home with impunity.Â
Youâd snorted, shaking your head. You? Bringing someone home? With your dating skills and general luck, you were probably gonna bring home a serial killer - if you even managed to hit it off with anyone in the first place.Â
Still, youâd let her squeeze you into a pretty pink bandage dress and ridiculously high heels and send you on your way...just for it to go exactly as youâd thought it would.Â
With a sigh, you pushed yourself off your seat, attempting to wade your way back to the bar. You could do with a tall glass of water - and maybe something a little stronger, something that you actually liked - before retreating back to the sanctuary of your own four walls and soft bed.Â
Even in the hazy lighting of the club, punctuated only by disorienting strobes, it was obvious that there was something strange going at the bar. The sweaty, suffocating cluster of humans on the dance floor came to an abrupt end, with no one occupying the empty space right next to them. This section of the bar was jarringly, eerily empty, seats and counter all open - except for four men, lounging about like they owned the place.Â
You knew better - you really did. But still - you found yourself pushing closer and closer, straight to the outskirts of the crowd, until you could get a clear view. Three of them were turned away from you, leaving you nothing to see other than broad shoulders and backs, straining against tight leather jackets. As for the fourth, howeverâŠ
The first thing to catch your eye, unique and beautiful, even in the dim lighting, was a gorgeous black and blue tattoo, winding its way around the neck of its equally striking owner. Sheer good looks aside thoughâŠyouâd seen his face on the news. What was his name? You remembered that it was something elegant, soft on the lips - a name that didnât seem to fit the cruel, hardened mafioso it belonged to.Â
It was only when those cold, icy eyes locked with yours, gaze chilling even from all the way across the bar, that it finally came to mind.Â
Hwang Hyunjin.Â
You knew you should probably stop. Men like that hurt people for just glancing at them the wrong way - and here you were, having a staring match with the most ruthless of them all.Â
And thatâs how you found yourself in the alley behind the club, pinned against the rough brick wall - with Hyunjin pressed between your legs. He was everywhere - his lips ravishing yours with hot, predatory kisses; one hand hungrily palming your breasts, the other hiking up your dress, trailing along your sodden panties. He moaned a curse against your lips as he felt just how wet you were for him.Â
âYouâre ruining me,â he groaned, hand hastily dragging away from your chest to wind around your waist, pulling your lower half against his firmly. âTell me what you want, angel,â he murmured before breaking off into a hiss, clutching at you as your hips bucked against his.Â
âMore,â you moaned. Your untouched, unexperienced self was overwhelmed by this man. You were stone-cold sober, your drink abandoned untouched back at the bar, but you were positively high off him, addicted to the way he was making you feel. âWhatever you want to do to me - just more.â
He laughed, pressing a surprisingly tender kiss to the side of your head. âYouâre gonna regret that.â And he immediately made to deliver on his promise. You gasped as he flicked the embarrassingly large wet spot marring your panties, nail dragging tortuously against your clit, before drawing aside the gusset, running his fingers through your wet folds.Â
You couldnât help but whimper. âPlease.â
âBegging now, huh?â He barked out a laugh, but seemed ready to comply. As he dove in for a messy, passionate, soul-consuming kiss, long fingers of one hand still working your clit, you faintly heard the metallic clink of his belt buckle, the rustle of his clothing, the small sigh of relief he let out against your lips as he freed his cock from its confines.Â
âLast chance, angel,â he groaned out, head falling back in pleasure as his hard, hot length slid against your folds. âIâm not gonna hold back after this.â
âI still want it - want you,â you whispered back. âI can take it.â
Those plush lips curved into a wicked, almost malicious smirk. âGood.â And with no further ado, he slammed himself home deep in your cunt.
A soft cry of pain escaped your lips. It stung - but within a second, past the initial resistance, the pain had ebbed away, replaced by a curious pressure, a blossoming sensation of fullness unlike anything youâd felt before.
Hyunjin, however, froze.Â
You knew heâd probably felt that thin tissue - your so-called âinnocenceâ - give way. With ominous slowness, he slid his fingers to the place where you were connected and lifted them up to the light. In the harsh gleam of the streetlights above, the faint traces of blood - your blood - marring his pale skin was obvious.Â
And when he looked at you again, those ice blue eyes were mask-like, unreadable once again.Â
âYou know who I am, donât you, sweetheart?â The endearment sounded like a curse in his mouth; his tone - stiff, chillingly empty - sending a small shiver down your spine. All you could do was nod, silently.Â
âThen you must be out of your fucking mind,â he hissed, fingers biting painfully into the meat of your hip, body still pressed heavily into yours. âThe hell are you doing giving someone like me something this precious?â
âItâsâŠitâs not though?âÂ
Hyunjin raised a challenging eyebrow at you.
âI meanâŠyes, Iâve never been with anyone before, but why does it matter?â Your words came out in a gasp, almost jumbled - mind and body craving what had been so abruptly interrupted, the pull strong enough for you to blurt out your true feelingsâŠall of them. âI want you, Hyunjin - I want you, and Iâve never wanted anyone as much as I want you right now.âÂ
The iciness of Hyunjinâs gaze wavered, melted just a smidge. His death grip on your hip morphed into a heavy, possessive pressure; his thumb started rubbing circles into that sensitive crease separating your thigh from your waist. âWhy?â
You could barely string the words together at this point - but you knew they had to be said. âIâŠI was alone, you were surrounded by your boys b-but - something made me feel like you were the only person in this club who felt the sameâŠthe same loneliness that I did.â
At that, his fingers stilled. Hyunjinâs eyes searched yours carefully - looking for what? You didnât know. But whatever he foundâŠit seemed to be satisfactory. For those long arms wound tightly around you once again, hiking you higher against the rough wall. Â
âFine. You can have it your way, angel.â And as his head dipped to your neck, lips bruising the signs of his lust onto your skin, a choked moan spilled forth from your lips as those slender hips snapped into yours - pushing his cock further into you, balls deep, stretching your sensitive walls beyond belief.
âSo fucking tight,â he murmured hoarsely, now driving himself into you in a steady, punishing pace. âHow much would it take to fuck you loose for the first time, hmm? Maybe I should take you home and test it out,â he mused, a chuckle just this side of unhinged bubbling forth from his lips. âTie you down and fuck this sweet little pussy until itâs swollen and red and aching.â Even just the thought made you involuntarily clench down on him, drawing what was almost a growl out of his throat. âSuch a good girl.â
And you? You were lost. With just a small shift in angle, Hyunjinâs cock was now sliding right against that sweet spot, deep inside you, his pubic bone grinding deliciously against your clit. The feeling of his lithe body caged in between your thighs, crushing you in against the wall; the sinful trail of fire his mouth was leaving along the delicate skin of your neck, your throatâŠif youâd known that this, this is what sex was like - you wouldâve had it long, long ago.
âŠBut a little voice told you that - this might just be sex with Hyunjin that felt like this.Â
And with that, it wasnât long before you shattered in his arms, heels digging into his back as the peaks of your pleasure rolled over you - only to scream as Hyunjinâs large hands slammed you down against him, impaling you fully on his cock as, with a throaty groan, he filled you full, hot cum splattering against your sore, sensitive walls.Â
There was a beat of silence, with only the sounds of heavy breathing to break the still. As you leaned your head back against the wall, struggling to come back down from your high, you could feel Hyunjinâs gaze burning through you.Â
âBeautiful,â he whispered, as if just to himself. You blinked your eyes open to see him watching you - but something about the way he was looking at you had changed. Where before theyâd been fiery, filled with unambiguous lust, desire, cockiness - that frenzy had given way to something moreâŠprofound. Like he was trying to see you, see through you - see you for who you really were.Â
You hated to break the moment - but now that you werenât burning up with lust, the very physical ramifications of being fucked up against a wall were making themselves known to you. You danced your fingers over Hyunjinâs collarbone. âCan youâŠâ
He snapped out of whatever trance he was in, hands surprisingly gentle as they cupped your thighs, supporting your weight as he let you down from the wall. When you stumbled on landing, the strength in your legs failing you, he steadied you against him.Â
âDoes it hurt?â His voice was gruff, clearly masking some emotion he didnât want you to see.
âPretty sore, yeah,â you admitted with a wry smile. âBut hey - makes it more memorable, right?â
It seemed like he wasnât expecting that flippant of a response from you, for the next thing he blurted out was - âRomantic fool.â
You could tell he hadnât meant to be so abrasive, a cloud of regret immediately passing over his face, but you knew what he meant.Â
âItâs okay,â you told him, shrugging it off. âI know I am and that I shouldnât-â
You stopped when you felt soft fingers under your chin, lifting your head back up. Hyunjin looked deep into your eyes, the corner of his plush mouth upturned in a crooked smile. âIt takes one to know one, angel.â
He bit his lip, hesitating. It looked he wanted to, was about to say something more - but thenâŠ
âWell, wellâŠand what do we have here? A stray dog rutting in an alleyway, tsk tsk...â An arrogant, menacing voice called out from the darkness, accompanied by the sound of slow, deliberate footsteps - of more than one person.Â
âFuck,â Hyunjin spat out, blue eyes narrowed in icy fury. âThese assholes donât know whatâs good for them.â You watched as he transformed in front of you, back into that cold, dangerous - honestly sexy - mafioso.Â
âYou need to get out of here, angel - I donât want those fuckers to get even a glimpse of you.â Hyunjin passed his hands over you, quickly, efficiently straightening out your clothes and his. âCan you do one thing for me? Run back to the boys and tell them that the fucking pirates are sailing in. Iâm gonna need backup here.â You nodded quickly, knowing you - and he - didnât have much time.Â
Just as you turned to run away though, Hyunjin caught your hand in his, stopping you. âIâŠIâll come find you, okay?â His voice was pitched low, serious in tone. You could tell he meant what he saidâŠat least, for now. You murmured a soft agreement before making your escape.Â
Luckily, Hyunjinâs boys were still where you left them. You decided to go up to the one in the middle, the one with muscles straight out of a GQ magazine, who was watching you waddle back into the bar with a knowing smirk plastered across his face.Â
Bicep Boy - you might as well call him that - spoke first. âBoss still recovering?âÂ
You felt yourself flush with embarrassment. For a brief second, you wondered what they thought of you - wondered how many times theyâd seen Hyunjin do this exact thing. The thought sent a sudden shudder of jealousy through you - but that wasnât important right now. Â
âNo - he, um, he sent me to get you guys. Thereâs a few guys outsideâŠand he wanted me to tell you that, uh, the pirates are sailing in?â
You startled back as their relaxed, nonchalant attitude disappeared in a flash, the three of them jumping to their feet immediately. âFucking hell,â the man in front of you hissed, looking pissed as he fished around for a tip to throw on the bar. âThose motherfuckers just canât stay in line, can they?â
âWaitâŠâ the man next to him, almost drowning in a fancy mink coat, piped up abruptly. âIf hyung sent her back to usâŠdoes someone need to walk her back?â The three men paused for a second, the weight of their gaze prickling as they turned to look at you again, size you up.Â
âNo no,â you protested. âIâll take care of myself - they couldnât have gotten a good look at me anyways. Iâd rather you go back Hyunjin up...make sure nothing happens to him.â
From their approving looks, youâd clearly passed some sort of test. âTake this then,â the third man, silent until now, shoved a ball of fabric into your hands - Hyunjinâs abandoned coat. âThat dress stands out too much - and Iâm sure the bossâll be getting it back from you soon.â
And with a surprisingly warm, friendly smile - he and the others were off.Â
You were left standing at the bar, with an expensive, bulky coat in your arms and the eyes of most of the club on you. With nothing else to do, you slunk your way out of the club, just as you had looked forward to doing just a short while agoâŠ
But why did it now feel so disheartening?
AndâŠhere you were. Alone, at home, on a weekend night - again.
Youâd just curled up on your couch, idly watching TV - not because you particularly wanted to, but more because sleep had deserted you. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could feel was the ghost of Hyunjinâs touch - his body against yours, his lips, his fingers on your body.Â
You shook yourself off. Maybe some ice cream would help, you mused, shoving off the blankets youâd just tucked yourself into to get up.Â
But then - the doorbell rang.Â
For a second, you froze. You and your roommate never really had visitorsâŠand the fear that maybe someone had followed you home from that alleyway flitted through you.Â
On the other hand thoughâŠwhat if it was him?
Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the door. Keeping the chain hooked, you slowly pulled it open, just a crack - and were immediately rewarded with the sight of those already familiar, icy blue eyes.Â
Hyunjin.Â
âIâllâŠIâll leave this second if you want me to,â he started, fingers fidgeting with his bracelets. âBut I just felt that we left some thingsâŠunfinished back there.â
You agreed, but even if you didnât - you werenât going to miss out on this.Â
Quietly, you let him in. Even though you were positive shit went down after you left, Hyunjin looked perfectly fine - statuesque, just as before. When you gestured to an armchair, he shook his head. âI think I want to stay standing for now.â
Your heart sunk. Maybe seeking you out, coming all the way to your apartmentâŠwasnât to make the gesture that you thought. Maybe this was just an apology, an attempt to tie things off between you, neatly, permanently, with a bow on top. MaybeâŠ
Shuffling slowly back to your couch, you sat down and waited for him to speak.Â
âIâŠI donât do this often. I know what it might look like, butâŠI donât really sleep around, chase after women just looking for a quick fuck. Thatâs not who I amâŠand thatâs not what I want youâŠor this to be.â
At your sharp inhale, he took half a step away from you - his eyes solemn, searching yours to see what he could find. He bit his lip. âThis is so selfish of me, I knowâŠbut Iâd-Iâd like to see you again. Take you out somewhere, more formallyâŠas you deserve.â
âWhy is that selfish?â A little bud of hope had flowered in your heartâŠbut you were still confused by his hesitance.
He took a second to respond. âYouâll be a target, you know,â he murmured quietly, gazing down at his clasped hands. âI know a lot of dark people - and they wouldnât give a shit aboutâŠusing you to get at me. Being seen with me, being with meâŠyouâll never feel safe again.â
Slowly, you stood up and walked over to him. Standing right in front of him without your heels, without the wall hiking you up against him, you had to tilt your head back to actually look at his face full on - though his eyes still wouldnât meet yours. And so, you did, running your hands carefully up his arms to rest on his shoulders.Â
âThen why do I feel the safest Iâve ever been, Hyunjin, standing here in front of you?â
At that, his head snapped up, finally looking at you directly.Â
âI want to try this,â you told him, your voice calm and steady. âI would love toâŠdo something more formal with you too. AndâŠâ your voice wavered, as you gathered your confidence in turn, âmaybe you could stay with me for a bit tonight too?â
You wished you had a camera to capture how Hyunjinâs face lit up - how those plush lips curved, eyes crinkled up in a genuine, warm smile. âI would love to.â You felt your heart stutter, your own lips curving in response.Â
âWell then,â you dusted your hands off, putting on a business-like air for him. âLetâs get you settled first. Want me to make you something? Or is there anything you want to make?â
âIâm useless in a kitchen,â he told you, cracking a sheepish grin. âBut I can whip up a mean ice cream sundae.â
So, thatâs what he did. You let him make you that sundae - which really was good. You sat side-by-side and watched three episodes of drama, sharing your ice cream in increasingly comfortable, companionable silence. Hyunjin didnât need to know how much of that time you spent watching him, your lips quirking at just how caught up he got in the show.
You let him take you back to your bed, let him thoroughly, passionately destroy any innocence you had left with every weapon he had at his disposal - his fingers, his lips, his tongue, his cock. Once youâd gotten your fill of each other - once you let him take you and take you again until your cunt was sore and swollen, your thighs quivering from exhaustion - you laid there together in your bed - naked, your head on his chest, his arm tentatively, carefully wrapped around your waist.Â
And thenâŠhe talked. About how heâd dreamed of being a painter, an artist one dayâŠbefore his world as he knew it went up in literal flames. About how he would gladly kill - and die - for his boys, his strays, whoâd banded around him, put their trust in him when he was nothing. About how being the boss, being the top was lonely - was stressful, painful and exhilarating, all at once.Â
By the end, you could tell he was exhausted; his body had drifted down against yours, his head now cocooned against your breasts, and you both were doing your best to pretend the droplets of moisture on your chest were sweat. But still, he listened to you too, never making you feel like your problems - your purposelessness, your friendlessness, your inability to make your own dreams reality - were too mundane or unworthy, even compared to his.Â
Finally, you let him pull your weary body against his, curl his lanky torso around yours. âIâve never slept the night in someone elseâs bed before,â Hyunjin offered up, voice soft and vulnerable in your ear. âThat makes two of us,â you whisper back, running your fingers up and down the arm wrapped around your waist. He tugged you a little closer in response - and closer still as he fell asleep, taking you underneath with him.Â
Part of you had been nervous about going to sleep - in case you woke up just to find thatâŠthis had all been a dream. That you were alone, as always, in your cold bed - that you had no lover to wake up to.Â
Those fears were dashed the second you woke up and felt Hyunjinâs warm presence still behind you. You rolled over slowly - only to find him already awake, watching you with a small smile. He was a study of contrasts in the pale morning light: soft, pouty lips; mussed hair - bruised knuckles; dark, swirling tattoos. He was beautiful, and - at least, for this morning, for now - he was yours.Â
You shoved him headfirst in to the shower, and while he cleaned up and squeezed himself back into those delectably tight clothes from last night, you worked your ass off to make a feast for breakfast. It was worth it though - at least, the shy eye smile, the soft âthank youâ that he gave you in response...it was worth it.Â
And thatâs how your roommate found you when she came back: the two of you perched on your rickety kitchen stools, Hyunjinâs arm now wrapped comfortably around you as the two of you giggled over a drunk video - a music video? - Bicep Boy (Hyunjin had laughed at you, telling you his name was Changbin) and the other two had fucked around shooting last night.Â
âOh!â She gasped. You whipped your head around to watch her do a literal double take at the sight of you and Hyunjin.Â
Hyunjin stood up with a yawn, deliberately stretching himself to his full height. âI was just leaving.â You bit back a grin - sure, he might be shy, introverted at his coreâŠbut when he wanted to, Hyunjin definitely knew how to put on a show. So you just smiled fondly as, with a lascivious little wink, he leaned down to give you a whopping goodbye smooch, with tongue for good measure. Heâd clearly listened to your retelling of your roommateâs role in this whole ordeal.Â
âBye, angel. Iâll text you.â And with a poignant look and a final squeeze of your hands, Hyunjin was off. You almost wanted to pinch yourself as another test, again. But before that - you had something - or someone -Â to deal with first.Â
âIs thatâŠâ
âYes,â you nodded. âThe date you set me up withâŠdidnât pan out, but I ran into Hyunjin at the same club.â
âLooks like you did a little more than run into him alright,â a small, teasing smirk on her face as she looked you up and down. âThatâs funny though. I used toâŠsee one of the other guys from SKZ, a long while backâŠâ she trailed off, lost in thought for a second. âItâs a long story,â she sighed, âbut anywaysâŠâ She shook her head, turning her attention back squarely to you. âYou and Hwang Hyunjin, eh? Howâd it happen?â
âItâs a long story,â you smiled back up at her, before taking a deep breath. If youâd gained any perspective from what youâd spilled to Hyunjin last night, it would be that the only person who could lift you out of your lonelinessâŠwas you. âWanna talk about it over breakfast?â
She stilled for a second, but you watched happily as a slow smile crept across her face.
âLetâs do it.â
As you got up to make her a plate, you heard a relatively unfamiliar sound - your phone buzzing from not just one, but multiple texts. Â
> Hyunjinnie: Same time, same place this Friday?
> Hyunjinnie: If I can make it that long without youâŠ
> Hyunjinnie: â€ïž
You didnât think your heart still had flutters left to give after everything that had happenedâŠbut here it was, flittering away. You responded in kind, telling Hyunjin youâd be counting down the days on your end too - and that was the honest truth.Â
Youâd just sat down again, about to pick up your fork, when your phone let out one final buzz.Â
> Hyunjinnie: (Oh, and bring that roommate of yours too. Iâm sure your ~Bicep Boy~ would be happy to see her đ)
It took everything you had in you to keep a delighted giggle from spilling out past your lips. You eyed your roommate, who had a faraway look in her eyes as she methodically buttered her slices of banana.Â
Things sure were gonna be interesting around here - and you were so looking forward to keeping it that way.Â
#skz fic#stray kids fanfiction#stray kids fanfic#skz smut#stray kids smut#hwang hyunjin x reader#hyunjin x reader#hwang hyunjin fic#hyunjin fic#hwang hyunjin smut#hyunjin smut#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#skz fanfic#skz fanfiction#skz hyunjin#stray kids hyunjin
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Hazbin Hotel character thoughts / impressions (Episodes 1 & 2)
1/12/24
UM. what a weird first actual post for my blog for this year... this is long, and i miss making ACTUAL blog posts instead of small threads... And i've explained on my twitter my thoughts on Hazbin / Helluva from a critical standpoint and artist from art separation, yadda yadda yadda---
ANYWAY... Episodes 1 and 2 of Hazbin are (Officially) out now, and i have some thoughts on the characters i wrote down after watching (In bullet points, because most of these are fresh-from-the-brain thoughts i wrote on my tablet from my bed)
(Spoiler alert, Sir Pentious isn't ruined and I AM SO GLAD. my snake babygirl... ilu)
Read on, if you wanna, spoiler warning btw!!!!!
CHARLIE NOTES
-Charlie is good., Charlie is cute, but i fear for her safety, not everyone can new redeemed. she's like steven universe at points i stg đ (not a jab but i think it's funny)
-i like how they gave Charlie bags under her eyes a lot, she is a tired princess just like all of us
-She gives off elementary school teacher vibes but in a wholesome way
-Charlie's hair is SO CUTE MESSY..
-PERFECT voice /gen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- VAGGIE NOTES
-GIRLBOSS (still, but more)
-Vaggie is still cool, she just loves her gf and is sick of everyone's bs but is still supportive...
-If she doesn't get into a bloody death match with Alastor (and win) i will be disappointed /hj
She doesn't seem to have as much of a temper as she did in the pilot, but seems more dead inside
-Good voice!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ANGEL DUST NOTES
-Angel... hm. Angel. he's Angel, for sure. Hi, Angel!
Insecure about a lot, but also YOU CAN BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT!!!!! if vox doesn't kill val angel should. please and thank u.
Also his voice is alright, just need to get used to it a little more
Also i hope he's not too bratty jealous of sirpent / whoever else charlie praises because again, it's ON HIM TO COOPERATE WITH HER CAUSE MORE??? ignoring his other stress sources (Val)
-Waiting for him and Husk to kiss. I know it's coming
-Just fucking block Val's number and rip up the contract (YES i know it goes deeper than that...)
-NUGGS. I SCREECHED IRL /POS
THEY GAVE HIM A HEART ON HIS BUTT!!!!! S TIER REDESIGN
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ALASTOR NOTES
-At first i was kinda Eh about his voice but it's grown on me, the radio filter is a little more subtle than the pilot but it's still there which i'm glad for
Delightfully passive aggressive
-Weird magic still, there doesn't seem to be any limits to it... we need to know what his weakness is...!!!!! please (maybe that will come later??) ....... i theorize he has underworld contact (Shadow-world, because of the shadow imagery?) , the underworld might be different from Hell maybe? (Where do those fucking tentacles come from, also weird monochrome demons)
-Interesting he was gone for 7 years. 7 is an angelic number. HMMMMMM (sealed away by angels somehow??)
-Punchable (Vaggie please)
-Weirdly enjoyable and not genuinely hateable like some of the other characters, but i also want to see his demise, maybe his sadism is rubbing off on me, but i want to see it badly...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SIR PENTIOUS NOTES
-Sir Pentious... u are so good.. probably has some of the best writing so far, maybe... he's my favorite so. hhHHmm
his voice is different but at the same time it's what you'd expect, i like it a lot... so silly, i pat him and his silly hat
-Pathetic old man. You win my heart (50x as much)
-Only one egg spoke so far, i wonder if they'll all have unique voices this time (the Japanese dub of the pilot did that lol)
-Genuinely a joy every moment he was onscreen (Too fucking cute... GRRRR)
-How did he get into contact with Vox? Why would Vox want anything to do with him if he thinks he's a loser? (I guess easy access into the Hotel) ...Fuck em either way (DON'T BE MEAN TO SNAKE MAN)
-Cool temporary stunning hypnosis, maybe we'll see him coil and bite next, the snake attack traits are fun
-His autism vibes grow stronger and it's canon in my heart
-We LOVE a redemption song. please stay in the hotel with everyone, don't fuck it up!!! you're a good noodle.... đ The song was genuinely so cute... it's probably going to be the highlight of EVERYTHING for me, besides Nuggs..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HUSK NOTES
-i luv u kitty
-His voice is different but captures "Grumpy old alcoholic" perfectly
-His heart needs to be melted...
-Him holding the script in front of the camera was great
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NIFFTY NOTES
-Niffty is a BIG COWARD. you can still love a "Bad boy" who's a redeemed bad boy!!!! just because he's not morally bad doesn't Not make him a Bad Boy. fuck u (i still like you)
-Her voice is really cute, also her nightgown.. though finding out she doesn't have dark bug limbs but is just wearing gloves and stockings surprised me more than it should've... put them back
-Also autism vibes, love it
-She still frightens me a bit
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
V TRIO NOTES
VOX -----
-Seems to carry the team, voice has grown on me
-I can't stop looking at his weird finger claws, they almost look like
he's just wearing things over his fingers, i dig it
-Interesting hypnosis power, i assume Alastor is immune
-Why can't Alastor and Vox just compromise and create a podcast?
-Hates Val (sorry shippers) ,,... kind of expected it since in old official sources it's been shown that he's been abused by Val too
-This isn't a note but everytime Alastor said "THE TV IS BUFFERING~" in their duet, the player kept fucking up đ
-Decent song, I like seeing him and Al argue
-I surprisingly don't hate him! i'm glad. i wanted to like him (though, it's only been 2 episodes so far...)
------
VALENTINO ---------
-More manchild vibes than i expected tbh
-Voice is alright but his accent is weirdly inconsistent for some reason???? interesting direction
-His manipulation is shown well in the voicemail scene with Angel, he's literally got the "Nice Guy" energy
-Surprisingly didn't order Vox around as much as i thought he would
-Why does he have girl Fizzy bots...
-Die?
------
VELVETTE
-Fashion design isn't something i expected, but then again i didn't know that much about her prior other than she's obsessed with social media
-British is also not what i expected but cool
-Uh. she didn't really stick out to me that much...sorry..... she's fine tho
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ADAM & LUTE NOTES
-Personally do not like how these angels look so menacing, i get that they're technically bad, but... make them look more angelic besides halos and wings??? they could easily be mistaken for hell residents. Also again, i feel like angels should swear less and drop swears in critical / good timed moments, it would be funnier... subtlety is not a thing i guess
-Adam's guitar solo was good tho, not really feeling his character tho, he's just an asshole but that's the point
-Adam looks like the fucking dress meme. I can't unsee it
-Lute is pretty...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
KATIE KILLJOY & TOM TRENCH NOTES
-Brandon Rodgers
-They sure were there for a second!
-i luv tom
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
All in all...
Episode 1: 6-7/10
Episode 2: 8.5/10
#this here is a hammy post#Hazbin Hotel#Angel Dust#Sir Pentious#Alastor#Charlie Morningstar#Vaggie#Niffty#Vox#Valentino#Velvette#Katie Killjoy#Tom Trench#Adam#Lute#Fat Nuggets#SO MANY TAAAGS#review#i guess?#hazbin hotel spoilers
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tickletober day 25-Â ânew discoveryâ
word count: 1,729 words
i think this actually started as a prompt for tickletober 2020 (lmfAooooo) so iâm glad i could finish it now!!
Janus sighed for what felt like the hundredth time in as many minutes. Heâd been a having a moral conundrum, and heâd only recently figured out how to go about solving it. Or, well, hopefully solving it. Maybe the solution heâd come up with would make everything worse instead. Thatâs always a possibility.
As if he could read Janusâ mind, Janusâ phone buzzed with another text from Patton. He stole a quick glance at the kitchen doorway before tapping the screen.
Patton: Have U told him yet???
Janus: u know he doesnât wake up before noon
Patton: LOL!
Patton: Well, Jan The Man, whatever happens, I got UR back!
Patton: high_five.gif
Patton: fist_bump.gif
Patton: puppy_saying_yeah.gif
Janus: ,,,,, thank u patton
Janus sighed yet again-- but this time his sigh was followed by a matching yawn from behind him.
He slammed his phone down on the table and whirled around. âGood morning!â Fuck, he was never that positive. He had to dial it back. âYou look like shit.â Well. Thatâs one way of doing it.
Luckily, Virgil either didnât notice or didnât care to comment on Janusâ jumpy behavior-- he yawned again and made a beeline for the coffee pot, where Janus had graciously prepared another pot just in time for Virgilâs late rise.
âYouâre thinking too loud,â he muttered as he poured his coffee. âTalk or shut your brain up.â
Janus snorted. Well, if Virgil didnât care about being indelicate, then Janus sure wouldnât.
âI found your blog.â
Virgil sighed, not looking up as his scooped a copious amount of sugar into the mug. âYes, I remember, I got drunk enough to show my 2013 era Tumblr to Roman, and he got drunk enough to send it to the group chat. Cool reminder.â
âNot that one-- although your Superwholock fic was surprisingly well written,â Janus said. âI found... another blog. Of yours.â
âMy anime blog?â Virgil asked. âDonât you already follow that one?â
âAnother blog,â Janus hissed. âA blog you havenât told us about.â
With his mug only an inch away from hid mouth, Virgil froze.
It was enough to tell Janus everything he needed to know.
âI donât have any other blogs,â Virgil said, quickly bringing the mug up to his face and taking a sip.
âVirgil. Please donât insult me by lying so boldly in my face.â
âWhoâs lying?â he replied. âNot me. Iâm standing up, not lying... down, that is-- oh, dad joke, ha! Speaking of which I think Iâm supposed to be meeting Patton for, uh, brunch, right now--â
He darted out of the room, nearly sloshing his coffee in his haste. Janus heard his bedroom door slam shut, and he sighed.
Well, he wasnât going to sit around and let Virgil stew in his own nerves. He got up from the table and moved to the hallway, coming to a stop right in front of Virgilâs bedroom door. He heard no movement coming from inside, so he figured Virgil was probably frozen in panic as he thought about what Janus had said.
âIâm not going to make fun of you,â Janus said bluntly through the door. âOr tell anyone. Patton knows I had something important to tell you, but I made absolutely no references to having found a secret of yours at all. Itâs just me.â
He knew that still probably wasnât overly comforting-- Janus was, admittedly, crafty and manipulative, and he often used information as leverage to get what he wanted. But given how genuinely upset Virgil seemed to be at the mere idea that his secret blog had been found out, Janus wanted to prove that he really wasnât going to tell anyone. And unfortunately, he knew exactly what he had to do to prove it.
âA secret for a secret, an eye for an eye,â he continued, steeling his nerves. âBecause, honestly, you... arenât the only person in this household with... that specific kind of... interest.â
Again, he heard no noise, but Janus could picture the way Virgilâs face probably shifted from blind panic to slight confusion. Janus sighed.
âHow do you think I found your tickle blog in the first place?â he asked drily.
Janus ignored the urge to cringe as he said the word aloud-- this conversation was not about his embarrassing secret interests, thank you, it was about Virgilâs. He didnât have the chance to ponder on that further, because suddenly the door clicked open in front of him, as if Virgil had opened it and hurried away.
He stepped in, and there was Virgil on his bed, lying on his stomach with his face buried in his pillow.
âYou can block me if you want,â Janus said, moving to perch on the edge of the mattress. âJust let me type in my URL so you donât see it.â
âHow much did you see?â Virgil asked instead, voice muffled and defeated.
âAbout ten posts,â Janus said. âAnd no, you didnât accidentally doxx yourself in any way. Iâm just extremely clever.â
Virgil didnât respond. At least he didnât seem to be actively panicking, just humiliated. Janus himself was starting to feel a bit warm; heâd seen some... rather interesting posts before heâd realized whose blog he was looking at. Apparently he and Virgil had more in common than heâd realized.
âVirgil, Iâm not going to bullshit you,â he said quickly, before his nerve was lost. âThis sucks, and if itâd happened to me Iâd break your computer in half, so I can imagine how you are feeling right now. But the fact of the matter is that we are both switches and we are home alone, and if you consent I would very much like to tickle you right now.â
Finally Virgil whipped around, eyes catching Janusâ with a wild look.
âWhat?â he squawked, voice cracking.
âOr you tickle me,â Janus said. âIâm really not picky.â
âThis-- this is-- Janus.â
âVirgil,â Janus said firmly. âTake your pick, lee or ler?â
âIâm gonna have a fucking heart attack,â Virgil hissed. Janus could practically feel the heat radiating off his cheeks.
âIâm trying to avoid an outcome like that,â Janus said through gritted teeth. âBy being disgustingly open about what I want, in the hopes that we can bypass the anxiety and awkwardness and humiiation by treating this all as if itâs perfectly normal.â
Silence hung over the room for a moment as Virgil took in the words. He looked down at his hands, fiddling with the blanket.
âI donât know...â
Janus leaned in to catch Virgilâs mumble. Okay, thatâs not a complete no. He could work with that.
âWhat donât you know?â he asked with as much patience as he could muster.
Virgil continued to fiddle for a few seconds before he spoke. âLike, right now...?â
âNo time like the present,â Janus replied. âOf course, we can wait if youâre not comfortable right now. Then again, I wonder how it would feel to wait in this room knowing that Iâm right across the hall, ready to tickle you.â
He smirked when Virgilâs eyes snapped up towards him, a blazing blush crowning his face. âJanus!â
âWhat? You know Iâm right. I could leave this room right now, but all your little fantasies in your head about what I could do to you would feel so delightfully real-- itâd be like I was still here.â
Nothing came out of Virgilâs mouth but a strain of choked noises. Belatedly, he covered his face with his hands. âCome on--â
âI mean, I really didnât look very far through your blog before. I still have so many questions about this little sensitivity of yours.â
Now Virgil shoved his face back into his pillow, probably with the goal of hiding the soft whines that were now coming out of his mouth. It didnât work.
âBut, of course,â Janus continued, âI canât touch you until you agree. You wonât get one little tickle from me until I hear you say so out loud.â
Virgil went silent for so long Janus considered checking that he hadnât suffocated, but finally a muffled mutter came from his pillow that sounded suspiciously like the word please.
âHm?â Janus said, because despite everything he wasnât going to be too nice to Virgil. âI couldnât quite catch that. Youâll have to speak up.â
More muttering, this time sounding closer to cursing, came from the pillow. Janus enjoyed drawing things out as much as the next ler, but he was getting pretty antsy. How to draw Virgil out?
Suddenly his mind flashed with a post heâd remembered seeing; a post that had also been reblogged by Virgil, with a few choice tags that made him think this could be a good idea.
âVirgil,â he asked softly. âHow about you show me where you want to be tickled?â
And there it was; there was Virgilâs desperate squealing whine, his back arching just slightly, legs suddenly fidgeting behind him, and the tips of his ears burning red through his dark hair. Janus hit the nail on the head.
It only took a few more seconds for Virgil to roll over; his hands twitched, and he refused to look Janus in the face, but finally he managed to pull his t-shirt up over his stomach before shoving his face into his hands again.
Janus smirked. âI thought so.â He let one hand, gentle and wiggly, hover right above Virgilâs tummy. âWhen you want me to switch, Iâll just need you to pick another lovely little spot for me to tickle instead. One thatâs just as ticklish, just so I know Iâm getting a fair deal. You can do that, right?â
Virgilâs whine only last half a second this time, before it was replaced with a startled burst of frantic giggles as Janus began scratching all ten fingers around his sensitive tummy and sides. He curled up, and wiggled back and forth, and kicked his legs like there was no tomorrow, but his hands stayed over his eyes, his shirt stayed halfway up his torso, and he stayed right on the mattress under Janusâ lovely fingers.
âOh, very good,â Janus cooed. His mind was already alight with all of the other posts heâd seen on Virgilâs blog, as well as things heâd found on his own that he was just so interested in trying. âYouâre doing very well, Virgil. I think weâre going to have so much fun.â
#my posts#my writing#tickling#tickle fic#tickletober 2024#augtickletober2024#tt24#sanders sides tickling#lee!virgil#ler!janus
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The Key To Your Heart - Track 7
Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader
Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.
Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Fat shaming, name calling, kissing, angst. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).
Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!
Word Count:Â 6.6K!!!
Series List: Here!
Miss last chapter? Here!
Hi guys! I'm so sorry this took a little extra longer than usual. I've had a lot of ideas for this chapter for a long time and I struggled with putting it all on paper. I'm also on vacation đ€Ș but I really wanted to get this one out there, especially before Halloween. Also I'm sorry if the spacing and stuff is crap, I did this from my phone/iPad while falling asleep at 3:30 AM. Hope you enjoy! Thanks for reading!
__________
You awoke with a start, your alarms blaring through the bedroom. Giving the snooze button a smack, you reach across your mattress, touching the sheets to find the other side of your bed empty.
It was still warm, but missing the actual body that you fell asleep cuddled next to. Blinking your eyes a few times, you called out into the bedroom. "Baby?"
You climbed out of bed, making your way down the hall to the living room, where you finally saw him on the couch. Sound asleep, eyes gently closed, a soft snore passed from his mouth. At the sound of your footsteps, he opened his eyes, giving a big stretch and wagging his tail.
"Good morning Skippy, my little sunshine! I missed your cuddles this morning. Why'd you move to the couch?"
He looked at you and yawned, his eyes closing once again. You giggled and headed for the shower to get ready for another day. Some of us have to actually work and get stuff done in this house!
_____
The day at work was busy, leaving little time to chat with Pedro. You couldn't help but smirk to yourself as your coworkers buzzed about your new album freshly released the day before. They still hadn't figured it out, but you decided you would continue to let it be your little secret a bit longer. They didn't need to know. Just you and Pedro could share this for now.
On your lunch break, you finally opened your phone to find a few text messages from him. "Good morning! I had fun video chatting with you last night. I'm so glad we listened to your album together, and it was nice to finally get to see you." His message made your heart skip.
Second text from Pedro: "Hey, I hope work is going well for you. I was thinking, maybe if you'd like, we could chat again later? If you don't want to video chat anymore, no pressure, but I enjoyed it and thought maybe if you wanted to, we could."
You replied. "Hey P! It's been a crazy day :) but a good one. Especially waking up happy after enjoying a lovely evening. I would really love to video chat with you again too."
Pedro breathed a sigh of relief at your answer. He couldn't help but feel nervous to ask you, despite having just video chatted last night, and he also didn't want to make you feel pressured; especially with someone as private as you are. But with your response, he smiled as he felt his stomach fill with butterflies at the thought of seeing you again.
_____
Later on, after work, the two of you were texting and deciding on the time to video chat again. However, before you called, Pedro texted you again. "Hey, I had a question for you, but I didn't want to ask it over the phone or video call and make you feel pressured. But, there's this Hollywood Halloween party coming up in a few days. I know you still want to keep your identity, but I thought if you'd like to, each guest is allowed to bring a date, and I thought you could mingle a little with some other musicians and actors. I can just tell people you're one of my friends from a set if you don't want to give your real name. You don't need to tell them anything you don't want out to the public. Plus I would love to spend some time together in person too, if you want to. I know it's a lot, so if you would rather not go, I understand. But I'd love to meet you."
The idea of going to a party filled with other celebrities, AND Pedro, had you filled with mixed emotions. Nervous. Excited. Terrified. Love-sick. Hesitant.
After a bit of thinking,you decided, and the answer seemed obvious from the start. The party sounded terrifying, and was completely unknown territory. But you also knew that if you didn't go, you'd surely kick yourself and regret this chance forever.
Finally you replied. "Okay! I'll go. I'd love to spend time with you, too, Pedro. Thank you for inviting me."
He replied again: "Really?! So, will boo be my date? đ»"
You: "That was a little too.. (candy) corny. I may have to ghost you. đ"
Pedro didn't miss a beat. "Okay, you're driving me batty. đŠ Want to call and talk about our costumes?"
Oh shit, I forgot about costumes.
The two of you chatted, easily falling into the comfortable conversations you always do. Fitting together like two peas in a pod. Even though neither of you were dressed up fancy anymore, it didn't feel like you had to be someone else, or dress up. Things were comfortable. Easy.
Pedro suggested a matching costume, which made you want to scream and pace through your living room. Unfortunately, due to your camera situation, pacing and screaming would surely cause some alarm. After dancing around things like pirates, ketchup/mustard, and movie characters, you finally had an idea and suggested Cinderella and her prince.
"It just feels kinda fitting you know? Nobody knows who I am, but I go out for once, I meet this prince, and he lets me have this fun night. But then at the end of the night, everything goes back to normal, and I'm unknown again."
Until he eventually can't stay away and they both fall in love and live happily ever after⊠but that's neither here nor there. Totally not my intention.. pffftâŠ
"That sounds like a wonderful idea. Should I send a carriage?" He joked with a wink, but you could tell he was a little bit serious. You couldn't help but feel like he would have reserved a carriage ride in a heartbeat had you said yes.
"Absolutely not. Way too big of a scene," you laughed. "In fact, I actually have work that day. Would it be possible for me to just meet you there after I get off work? I can just take an Uber across town. My work isn't too far from the party and I'm sure parking will be a mess."
Pedro agreed, although he felt bad you'd be taking a ride-share service alone and continued to offer a ride if you needed. He also felt a bit disappointed he wouldn't get to have any time alone with you beforehand, but he wasn't about to tell you that detail.
Either way, the two of you agreed on your plans, and as the days led up to the party, you grew more and more eager. You also felt more and more dread in the pit of your stomach.
But this will be good. It has to be. Right?
_____
The night of the party came quickly.
You got off work, took a quick shower, changed into your costume, did your hair, and added a little bit of makeup. The costume felt silly, but you kept telling yourself it was Halloween and everyone would be in costumes. Plus, you have a handsome prince waiting for you inside. As your mind and heart raced, the Uber driver pulled up to the curb, dropped you off, and you were met with a line to the entrance.
The line to the party was lengthy, filled mostly with eager fans, paparazzi, and journalists hoping to gain entry. Occasionally you'd see a celebrity pass by, but they were quickly ushered in once they were recognized.
You, however, were unknown by all. So you stood in line, surrounded by others who hoped desperately to meet their favorite celebrity. Not unlike yourself.
Having finally made it, you sent a quick text to Pedro. "Hey! I'm here :) sorry I'm late."
Your stomach twisted in knots. Sure, you were excited to meet Pedro. Especially with as much as the two of you have been talking over the past couple months now-
Geez, has it really been months?
But despite your connection, you still had that nagging self-conscious worry that he might not like you. Maybe he's just been talking with you to be nice, and the second you're together in person he won't give you the time of day. Maybe he will find you boring in real life. Maybe he will think you're ugly. Or weird. Or fat. Or -
"Next!" The bouncer at the door yelled after sending yet another hopeful fan away. Your stomach dropped and your mouth was dry.
"Hi, I-"
"NAME?" He barked, clearly done with this whole event.
"Well, actu-"
"Speak up princess, I can't hear ya when ya mumblin," the man said with a thick New York accent.
You cleared your throat. "Actually my name isn't on the list, I'm a guest of Pedro Pascal."
The man, towering over you, let out a bellowing laugh. "YEAH, I'm sure ya are, toots. You and every other woman in this joint."
"But I-"
"And trust me, I've turned away much prettier broads than the likes a' you at this doorway," he said while looking you up and down with an amused look as if he had just told the punchline at a comedy club.
Your heart sank. You always said things like that to yourself on the inside, but it wasn't often that people were that blunt to your face.
The man sneered while smacking his gum and arrogantly moving it to the other side of his mouth with his tongue. That gum. You wanted to punch him if you had to hear him smack it one more time.
"Back a' the line, kid. Y'ain't gettin' in here tonight, but I appreciate the self-confidence," he said, laughing at his own joke.
Disheartened, you didn't even care about meeting Pedro anymore. Your mood was dampened, your ego was hurt, and all you wanted to do was go home, get out of this stupid costume, and cry on your couch. With a short nod, you bit your lip to choke down the tears, turned, and headed towards the exit.
"Hey!!! There you are- wait where are you going?"
You'd recognize that voice anywhere. Pedro.
You turned around, swallowing down your emotions and putting on a fake smile, despite the wave of hurt and anxiety pooling in your stomach and chest. "Hey, Pedro! You found me."
Pedro smiled at the guard and snuck past, telling him "hey, she's with me." Fans in line squealed, which he greeted with a kind wave and charming smile. At last, he reached you and gestured for the two of you to head inside to the party. You gave a nod and a small, half-hearted smile.
You didn't want him to know how upset you were. Not only did you feel pathetic and slightly agree with the bouncer, but you also didn't want to ruin Pedro's night.
As the two of you entered the crowded party, you looked around at the decorations. Filled with purple and green lighting, the Halloween music blared and monsters danced the night away. A bowl of green punch sat on a table to the side, surrounded by bowls of candy and platters of snacks. An open bar was on the back wall, providing both normal booze, and Halloween themed drinks topped with gummy worms or syrup made to look like blood. To the right of the bar was a door to the large rooftop balcony which held tall, dark-green potted hedges, perfectly trimmed and shaped underneath rows of charming fairy lights. Beyond the shrubbery, the deck had several nice patio tables and chairs, a few people catching their breath outside or chatting, and a gorgeous view of the city below with the sparkling sky above.
Back inside and off to the right of the patio door, away from the dance floor, was a door which you assumed was the restroom, based on the long line of women.
"I'd like you to meet some people, if you feel up to it," Pedro yelled to be heard over the booming music from the dj.
"Okay!" You yelled back.
He led you over to a couple of people off to the side of the dance floor, one you recognized as his friend Sarah Paulson, who was dressed in a shimmery witch costume.
Pedro introduced the two of you. Sarah was very sweet, and while you talked music and acting, Pedro touched your shoulder and spoke into your ear to avoid yelling. "I'm going to grab a drink, can I get you anything?"
"I'll just take a soda, thanks!" Although some alcohol might help your nerves, you wanted to maintain a clear head and maybe not do or say something to Pedro that you might regret.
"You got it," he replied, turning on his heel towards the bar.
Once he had left, Sarah gave you a look.
"What?" you laughed.
"You know, he talks about you all the time. I know you already love some other guy based on that hit song of yours, but I gotta say I think he might be smitten with you."
"Oh please, no he isn't. We're just friends!" You smiled at the idea, but inside, you kept hearing the bouncer's words on repeat. There's no way Pedro could have feelings for you. Even if you wanted him to have those feelings more than anything, it couldn't be.
"Whatever you say," she said with a smirk.
A pause before she added "just⊠don't hurt him. I know you love someone else, but he's a good guy," she pleaded, letting her protective side show.
On his way back from the bar, Pedro ran into Oscar, whom he tagged up with and headed back to your small group. "This is my friend Oscar," said Pedro, introducing you to Oscar as his friend.
Friend. Remember that. Friend. That's all. All you'll ever be.
"Nice to meet you Oscar!" You gave him a cherry smile.
"Nice to finally meet the woman of the hour! Pedro here just won't shut up about you," he said with a smirk, looking at Pedro mischievously. Pedro blushed and looked into his drink cup, taking a sip while trying to hide himself.
"Yep! It's always 'she said this, she said that, can you believe she can do that? She's so smart, funny, sweetâŠ' yada yada yada," he said, smirking again and taking a side glance at Pedro, who choked on his soda. "Shut. Up. Oscar." He quietly threatened through clenched teeth. But despite his quiet tone and a loud party, you heard him.
I mean, I say kind things about my friends that way sometimes. It's nice he's so appreciative of his friends. Because that's what I am. A friend.
Sarah chimes in. "That's what I was telling her! But she claims they're just friends," she air-quotes around the words 'just friends.'
Pedro's heart sank. He knew deep down that's all you were to him, but hearing it second-hand from you still hurt. Just friends⊠he thought.
"Yeah right," Oscar rolled his eyes, talking to Sarah as if the two of you weren't standing literally right next to them.
"Believe what you want Oscar, but it's true," Pedro answered with a shrug.
Now it was your turn to feel heartbroken. Just friends⊠you thought.
You cleared your throat, "anyway, I'm going to go get another soda. Can I get anyone anything?" They all answered no, and you headed for the bar.
Deep in your thoughts, you walked over to the bar when a woman slammed into you. She spilled her red, bloody Halloween cocktail drink all down the front of your costume. "Watch where you're going, fat bitch," said the woman, appropriately dressed in a devil costume, her skin-tight red dress barely covering her ass and breasts.
You sighed. At this point you decided to skip the refill and head toward the bathroom to clean up your now wet front. You looked back to see the devil herself headed right towards Pedro's direction. Typical, you thought with an eye roll. She wants him and is mad I was talking to him.
You turned away from that scene and reached the line to the bathroom. It was lengthy, but luckily it was moving fast. Once inside, you finally could let your emotions out a little bit. You wanted to put on a brave face for Pedro and not ruin his evening, but ever since the bouncer made his comments, you couldn't get them out of your head. And now with that woman spilling her drink on you, you had another reason to be upset. You felt undeserving to be here to begin with, and their comments really solidified the imposter syndrome.
Despite wanting so desperately to see Pedro in the flesh, you hadn't even been able to really make eye contact all evening. Your nerves about meeting him were still there, but now you were just upset about the whole night. Even though you wanted to look at him, really see him, you felt like you didn't deserve it; and your nerves warned you not to look or else he'd figure you out.
If he realizes I like him, it's game over. It'll be like that guy I liked before. He'll eventually say it's weird. Weird for me to have a crush on him, weird for me to touch him, weird for the two of us to talk about relationships or sex. It's 'weird' with you.
You really started to hate that word; weird.
Perhaps you were destined to be a single hermit forever. Or maybe just become a nun.
Cleaned up and having let enough tears out for a couple more hours, at least until you could go home and really cry, you walked out of the bathroom. Heading back toward Pedro, you saw a tall, thin, beautiful woman wearing a tight black dress with a slit down the thigh and skeleton makeup on her face.
The woman was standing close to Pedro when you saw her touch his bicep. Slowly running her hand down his forearm, she batted her eyelashes and twirled her hair with her other hand. She said something to him you couldn't hear, but the two of them began to smile, Pedro's eyes growing wide with his grin. He said something to her and they both laughed, him throwing his upper half forward in a classic Pedro laugh.
That's it. I can't do it. I can't be here and see this.
Turning on your heel, you made for the patio door. The crisp air hit your face, urging the tears to fall immediately.
_____
Pedro laughed as the woman, Tricia, held up both hands in defense. "I SWEAR, Pedro. That's what she did. She touched my arm like that, twirled her hair, batted her eyelashes, and said "hey baby. Come here often?"
Pedro laughed, "oh man, that's so cheesy."
"I know!" Tricia laughed, holding her stomach.
Pedro raised an eyebrow. "Okay, you agree it's cheesy, yet I feel like every time I've seen you two together tonight, you're the one that can't keep your hands off of her," he stated with a sassy smirk.
"Alright, you caught me," Tricia replied with a laugh, right as her girlfriend Sam walked up in a matching skeleton costume. Sam handed Tricia a cup of purple liquid and asked what they were laughing about.
"I asked how you two got together," Pedro replied with a chuckle.
"Oh, gosh, I can only imagine how she's spun the story this time!" Sam replied with an eye roll and a quick kiss to Tricia's lips. Seeing the two love-birds kiss made Pedro long to experience that with you.
Where did she go? There's no way she's still getting a drink.
He excused himself and headed towards the bar, but you weren't there. Then he walked towards the bathroom to check the line. Nope.
Finally he looked to the left and saw you, leaning against the balcony which overlooked the city.
He pulled the sliding door open, slipping outside into the cool October night. The patio was mostly empty, apart from a few stragglers on the far side of the rooftop, sitting at the patio furniture underneath a heat lamp. Most of the guests had gone inside when the temperature began to dip. He walked towards you, saying your name to gain your attention, but you didn't turn. Too deep in your thoughts.
"Are you okay? What are you doing out here all alone?" He touched your shoulder gently.
Startled, you tried to quietly sniffle and wipe your wet eyes without him noticing, careful to avoid smudging your mascara.
You turned to face him, planting another fake smile on your face. "Yeah I'm fine, just needed some air, that's all. You?"
"I can tell you're not okay. What's wrong?" He frowned, stepping closer to you and eyeing the red stain on your dress. Confusion laced across his face.
You stepped back a half-step away from his touch. "It's nothing, it just seems it isn't my night I guess⊠but you look like you're having fun. Get back in there and dance with Sarah and Oscar," you said with a gentle smile. "I think I might head out. Skipper is probably wondering where I am, anyway."
"I'm sorry you're not having a good time. Let me at least give you a ride home," he pleaded with his brown eyes. This was the first time all night you had actually made eye contact with him, finally seeing just how handsome he really was in person.
Yeah. There's no way he'd go for me. That's for sure.
"No, no please, you stay, I'll just get an Uber. It's fine! Thank you for inviting me tonight though, Pedro. That was really sweet of you."
"I'm not letting you take an Uber home when I'm right here."
"No, dont. I don't want you to miss the partyâŠ" you added.
"I've partied enough tonight. Come on, I'm taking you home. No arguments," he pressed, puppy dog eyes unwavering in his demand.
Seriously this man could get away with murder the way he looks with those eyes.
"Okay. Fine, if you really don't mind," you finally agreed, not that it was even an option.
He gave a quick explanation to his friends with a brief wave before the two of you headed out the front door. You scowled at the guard as you walked past.
Thanks for ruining my night, asshole.
After receiving his car from the valet, Pedro pulled open the passenger door for you, gesturing for you to climb inside.
Nobody has ever opened the car door for me before, other than my dad.
What a gentleman...
Just because you were upset didn't mean you weren't zapped with a feeling of adrenaline and love at his chivalrous action. Whoever ends up with him is a lucky person.
You climbed in the passenger seat and he went around the car, entering the driver's side.
Not only did you feel like you ruined the party, but you worry you may have ruined your shot altogether. Why would Pedro want you after you didn't even talk to him your first night out together?
_____
*Pedro's POV*
As he climbed into his seat, buckling up and starting the ignition, he couldn't help but wonder where the night went wrong.
Did I say something to offend her?
He began to replay all the conversations you'd had tonight, trying to figure out when your sadness began and what could have caused it.
The party conversations? The texts? The phone calls?
Nothing came to mind, which worried him even more that he could be so ignorant to have said something hurtful without realizing.
Pedro looked over at you in his passenger seat. You were curled toward the side, arms scrunched toward your body and looking out the window. Silent. Just the occasional sound of a sniffle, or a road direction for him to take toward your house.
He wanted so badly to reach over and touch you. Hold your hand and rub his thumb over your fingers to comfort you in any way possible while driving. Then, he'd pull you into his arms the second you two got out of the car.
But he knew he couldn't. You weren't his to hold.
Was her crush at the party too? Could he have hurt her somehow?
He felt anger flare into his system at whatever could have made you cry. You deserved the world and he wished he could spend every day trying to prove it to you.
_____
*Back to your perspective*
About 20 minutes later, you quietly said "this is me."
Pedro put the car in park, and told you to wait. Confused, you sat, but he ran around the car and opened the door for you.
What. The. Hell. Is he real?
You stood from the car, fluffing down your ruined princess dress. "Thank you Pedro. You really didn't have to give me a ride, I feel bad you went out of your way. I'm sorry if I ruined your night."
"Hey, whoa, don't apologize. There's no way you ruined my night, and don't worry about the ride. I feel better knowing you made it home safely from me than some taxi service," Pedro placed his hand on his heart.
"Well, thank you either way. It was nice getting to finally meet you in personâŠ"
"It was nice meeting you too," he shifted his weight, awkwardly wondering how to proceed.
"You should go. Get back to your party before you miss anything else! I'm sure Oscar and Sarah miss you," you prompted.
"Oh, I'm not going back. I'll just call it a night and head home. It's not as fun without my date, anyway." He smirked, and you couldn't help but wonder if he was flirting with you. Probably just being nice.
"You aren't going back??"
"Nah, I'm good. ButâŠ" he rubbed the back of his neck with his palm.
"What?" You felt nervous.
"Can I ask why you're so upset? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. It's just⊠if I did something or said something to upset you⊠I'm so sorry," he said, and you could actually feel the genuine sadness in his voice.
"Oh, Pedro. No. You did nothing wrong. It's just," you sighed. "Do you want to come in?"
You worried about asking and seeming too forward, but now that it's out there it can't be taken back.
Friends go over to other friend's houses. It's totally fine and normal.
"I, uh, sure," Pedro stumbled over his words. "I'd love to. If you don't mind." He seemed nervous and a little surprised at your invitation.
You unlocked your door and the two of you entered. Instantly, you were greeted by your boy, who was all too happy to have a new friend. His tail wagged, smacking against nearby surfaces.
Pedro's face lit up instantly, and he crouched down to Skip's level. Letting Skipper get a good sniff, you heard Pedro gently coo to your dog. "Hi buddy!! I'm Pedro. I've heard so much about you." He scratched behind his ears.
Your heart swelled. Here they were, two of your favorite boys, bonding like old friends.
Pedro stood up again, giving a final scratch to Skipper's head before turning to you. "So, do you want to talk about it? What happened tonight?"
You ushered him to the kitchen table, asking him if he would like a drink. "Sure, thanks. Just water, please."
You poured two glasses of water and sat at the table near him, finally delving into the events of the evening. You told him about the bouncer and the woman with her drink. "I also saw that one girl talking to you and being really touchy and flirty and I felt like I was intruding."
I was also really fucking jealousâŠ
"Wait, what girl?"
He repeated the evening's events through his mind. He wasn't flirting or being touchy? Who were you - Oh. Tricia, when she was describing Sam. Were you jealous of her? He allowed his mind to wonder, slightly hopeful that you might want more.
"I guess I just⊠I don't really feel like I fit in here. I don't look like I fit in here. I don't act like I fit in here. I honestly don't even know why you're as nice to me as you are. I wonder why you want to be my friend. Not that I'm not happy about it, because I am, but-"
He cut off your ramblings. "Whoa, whoa, hey. Sweetheart. You belong here. People just don't know you yet. That bouncer was totally out of line and a complete asshole. That woman, who spilled her drink on you, was rude, offensive, and nasty; and I don't tolerate that kind of behavior. Especially towards those I care about. The second she came over, I could tell she was a snake. I didn't give her the time of day. And lastly, the girl you saw being touchy was my friend Tricia. She was describing how her girlfriend picked her up in a bar," he laughed.
"Oh," you listened to his words, still not making eye contact, looking at your hands on the table.
"And as for you," he prompted, "I'm nice to you because you deserve it. You're sweet and funny, and I'm so thankful to have met you. I talk to you because I like talking to you. I enjoy spending time with you, whether it's on the phone, or, even better, when I get to see your face. Although I have to say I hate to see it crying." He brushed away a tear from your cheek, and you gave a small laugh, wiping the rest of your face.
"Thanks Pedro. I'm sorry if I brought down your night. I just really wanted tonight to be special, and it felt like my carriage turned back into a pumpkin before I even started." You gave another defeated laugh.
"You didn't ruin my night. If anything I'm just disappointed you didn't say anything, so I could help cheer you up or we could go do something else." He paused, brushing your hair from your eyes. "By the way, I never did get to tell you how beautiful you look in that dress, princesa."
Your cheeks heated under his gaze. "T-thanks Pedro. You look pretty handsome there, yourself," you answered nervously. It was the first time you had truly looked at him all night, and he was more beautiful than you ever could have imagined. Even pictures didn't do him justice. Dressed in a white suit with golden epaulets and golden buttons on the jacket, he was the most charming prince you'd ever seen.
Pedro rubbed his neck. "Thank you." He smiled. "But, hey, just because the night didn't go your way doesn't mean we can't turn it around."
You smirked. "That's true. Do you wanna watch a movie or something? Because if so, I think I might change out of this costume real quick," you began to stand.
"Whoa, not so fast princesa," he grabbed your arm.
You turned and gave him a confused look.
"Not before I share a dance with you in that dress. I've been waiting all night," he held out his hand.
"Really?" The grin on your face lit up, and you pulled him towards your music room where you stored your records.
"Wow. This is amazing. You have so many records and instruments in here! Is this where you write your music, too?"
"Yep! Here's where the magic happens," you answered with a laugh, pulling out an old record filled with slow love songs of the 50's and 60's. You placed the needle on the record, hearing a soft crackle as it began to play.
Pedro pulled you into his chest, grabbing your right hand with his left and gently placing his right hand on your waist. You slid your left hand up to his shoulder and smiled up at him as the two of you gently swayed to the music.
One song turned into two. Then three, and finally four; the two of you holding each other, silent except for the soft music turning from your record player on the desk. At some point you took the risk and decided to rest your face on his chest while the two of you swayed. His head rested on top of yours, both of you breathing softly, eyes closed, with you listening to the rhythmic drumming of his heart in his chest.
The record crackled with the end of the first side and the two of you looked at each other. You didn't miss the quick glance he stole from your eyes down to your lips, and you began to slowly lean closer.
Is this it?! Am I finally going to have my first kiss?!
You continued leaning closer, both his and your eyes gently closing. You could feel his breath fanning across your nose when-
Clunk clunk clunk. Pant pant. Whine.
You and Pedro opened your eyes, confusion painting your expressions as you turned your faces away from each other towards the sound. Still held in each other's arms, you peeled your eyes away from each other to see Skipper looking at you both with a big doggy grin on his face. His tail smacked the table with a thump thump, and he let out soft little whines and coos for attention.
The two of you laughed, the moment over, as you both kneeled down to give pets while Skip wedged between the two of you. Although you were disappointed the kiss was interrupted, you can't be mad at such a cute face. Still scratching your dog, you looked across to Pedro on the other side of Skipper. The two of you shared a soft look and smile, filled with so many unsaid words and feelings.
"So, uh.. how about that movie?" Pedro asked, still smiling.
______
You changed out of your princess costume into a comfier movie watching outfit and he changed out of his prince costume. He had some clothes in his car, which he changed into, looking handsome as ever. He wore a navy blue sweater with jeans, both fitting him perfectly. The two of you settled on your couch and turned on a movie. Although you sat next to each other, you kept a friendly distance, neither of you wanting to push the other too far.
As the movie rolled on, you had a hard time focusing on the plot with him so close. He looked so cozy and soft, you just wanted to climb in his lap. You wanted him to hold your hand. You wanted to finish that kiss. He smelled nice, he looked nice, and you wanted him more than anything else in this world.
Without realizing it, you gravitated closer. Your body inched toward him, and without him realizing it, he inched closer as well. It wasn't long until your leg was brushed against his. Just the slight touch of his leg on yours was enough to send an electric feeling pulsing through your body. The tension was as tight as an electrical cable, slowly fraying until it eventually snaps into sparks.
Pedro's fingers twitched at his side, his jaw clenching and unclenching. Your eyes kept sneakily darting over to him, his doing the same at opposite times. Your hearts were racing, breathing quick and shallow. The movie finally ended, neither of you able to tell someone the storyline if asked.
You nervously turned towards Pedro, rubbing the back of your neck. "So that was some movieâŠ"
"Yeah, that ending⊠it was-" his eyes darted to your lips. "Something." He looked into your eyes, hand settling on your thigh as the two of you once again began to lean in closer. You had just shut your eyes, noses brushing together, when he pulled away.
What the heeeeeeeellllll??? Whyyyy!?
You couldn't help but let out a whimper as you opened your eyes after the second failed kiss of the evening.
Pedro sat with his elbows on his lap, holding his face in his hands. "I'm so sorryâŠ"
"What? Pedro? Why are you sorry? What's wrong? Did I - did I do something wrong?"
Do I smell bad? Does he not like me? Was this some sick joke?
"I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sorry. I let my feelings get in the way, and I shouldn't have done that. You're in love with someone else. I can't steal your first kiss. You deserve to have it with the man you really love."
"Pedro-" you tried to pry his hand from his face.
"No. I'm sorry if I ruined things. I should probably leave-" he began to stand up, but you grabbed his forearm and pulled him back down.
"Stop. Pedro," you begged.
He sat back down, looking into your eyes guiltily.
You continued. "Please don't apologize. I wanted you to kiss meâŠ"
"But that guy in your song. You deserve to be with him. I've been letting my feelings take over and stealing all your time away on the phone and text, video chat, and now in person. I almost stole your first kiss from you twice tonight and-" he rambled on, once again throwing his hands over his face before you interrupted him again.
"Pedro.." you pulled his hand away from his face, leaving yours to hold his cheek instead, but he still avoided your eyes. Taking a deep breath, you figured it was time to take the plunge.
"It's you, Pedro."
His eyes glanced up to yours. "What?"
"It's you. It's always been you. You're the one I like."
"Wait, so you mean-"
"Yes. The songs, the interviews, our chats⊠I've been talking about you this whole time. I really, really, like you."
Pedro gave a gentle smile, leaning his face into your hand. "I like you too, baby," he whispered.
His hand moved from his cheek to yours and the two of you leaned in. Closing your eyes, you brushed your noses together before you whispered "please kiss me.
You could feel a soft smile as he pressed his lips to yours, first gentle and soft, then stronger and more desperate. Although the kiss was still very tame, you could both feel all the emotions you've been harboring for each other for so long.
Breathless, the two of you pulled back, falling into a gentle laughter. "You don't know how long I've been waiting for that kiss," you spoke softly, wanting to keep the words as quiet as possible, heard only within the tiny bubble you currently shared.
"Me too," he smiled, pressing another kiss to your lips.
"I think you were worth the wait," you pecked his lips.
"I think you were too," he rested his head on your forehead with his hand on your neck, lightly stroking over your hair.
"I like you." You giggled.
"I like you too." He grinned. "But, you know, if I remember correctly, 'like' wasn't the word you used in your songâŠ" he teased.
Your stomach flipped. "I don't want to scare you off too soon, P."
"You won't, sweetheart. You couldn't if you tried. I feel the same way." He kissed your forehead.
You looked at him, and feeling slightly nervous, yet calmed by his deep brown eyes, you told him those important words that have been spilling from your chest in silence.
"I love you Pedro."
"I love you too," he grabbed your face, once again pressing a kiss to your lips, this one much deeper than the others, before pulling you into his arms. The two of you were finally together. Finally you had love. All the things you wanted were coming true.
Turns out you got your happily ever after tonight after all.
__________
To be continued...
That's all for now! I hope you liked this chapter. I've received a lot of kind messages and DMs saying how much you guys relate to the reader and I just want to say thank you. It really means a lot to me that people are finding something to relate to. I'm essentially just using this fic as my diary, because she is pretty much just me. So to see others feeling the same way, it makes my heart so full! I send hugs to all of you.
Next Chapter! Here!
Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!) If I forget to add anyone, I'm sorry!
@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal x you#a! wrote a fic#pedro pascal fic#pedro pascal x afab!reader#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal x musician!reader#pedro pascal x plus sized! reader#pedro pascal rpf#rpf#pedro pascal x y/n#key to your heart
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This is a long rant and I apologise if this comes off as too much đ
I just want to let you know that I'm SO GLAD you're part of the star wars fandom. You're one of the few reasons my interest in this franchise has survived despite the toxicness that it has seeped into everything the past few years. Yes, star wars fandom has always been pretty much a mess but I feel like these days it's somehow gotten even worse. And there isn't even anything coming out that could distract everyone from the constant drama.
Your blog and your posts about the books are always a breath of fresh air in all this. I really appreciate that you take time to make all these long canon references and share them with us. And that you actually engage with canon content! For some reason that seems to be a tall order for most 'fans' these days.
It's exhausting seeing the ice cold takes about the jedi be repeated over and over again by people who seem to have barely even watched the films, let alone read the random book they're referencing to show how the jedi are So Evil and failed poor anakin by Forcing him to let go of his Attachments so they definitely deserved to all get massacred down to the last child!!! And if you push back by citing literally anything canonical to show how ridiculous their takes are they reference a random obscure legends novel (that they are often twisting and also usually haven't even read) And if you point out that, no, Legends isn't canon (and never has been) and we could discuss it as its own separate thing instead of dragging it into canon discussions, they completely flip and say they don't care and to stop taking star wars so seriously đ ( u can probably tell I've had some pretty frustrating fandom arguments recently lol)
It does feel like groundhog day sometimes with the same arguments being repeated over and over again to villainize the jedi while absolving the genocidal mass enslaving space fascists that are Very Clearly the Bad Guys. And it feels pretty much deliberate at this point when people misunderstand star wars' canon definition of attachment and project all their issues in their own lives with their christian upbringing onto the space monks... This has only been exacerbated by people like Headland jumping onto the franchise and doing this with fuckass disney's approval, so now the racist anti jedi youtubers have started attacking this new anti jedi show so if I defend the jedi I get lumped in with them *sigh*
Anyway, I just listened to Padawan's Pride because of your posts and it was fun and a much needed palate cleanser for me after the months of anti jedi takes. I also started reading your jedi citations project and it's gotten me back into reading some other of my favorite jedi fics and maybe writing some of my own. So tldr; Thank You!
Oh, anon, I hear you and I went through a lot of similar feelings over the last few months. In between a lot of IRL stuff coming up and the fandom getting incredibly weird about Jedi fans (soooo much projection going on that it started getting unsettling sometimes) and the same old constant beratement on my posts, I was thinking that I was just too tired to deal with any of it.
It did get hard some days because it felt like no matter how hard I tried to be friendly and make a point to say that everyone needed to be allowed their space whether we agreed or not, that I would still get words put in my mouth or my posts misinterpreted or accused of trying to shut down other people's conversations, when I've never even interacted with that person, I've never reblogged anything from them, never talked about them, just made my own posts about the Jedi on my own blog.
That aspect of how, if we write posts that cite Lucas quotes or moments from the movies and shows, we're taking things too seriously (or the super weird one of how we're trying to "force" people to have to take Lucas' commentary as a holy grail or whatever), then we're taking it too seriously is SO REAL, I have been through that SO MUCH. And it's like, no! Nobody has to take authorial intention into consideration! But if you're going to say that I ~missed the point~ of what Lucas intended with the movies, I'm going to break out the Lucas quotes to show that, no, I didn't miss the point. You're still not obligated to agree, but the point is that I'm not coming out of nowhere with my views and deriding me as not a ~true fan~ or whatever is asshole behavior.
And it's hard to have that groundhogs day feeling, especially because you don't necessarily want to spend that time getting into arguments with people--they are allowed their own space, if they want it! But if they're coming into our space, then yes we get to respond with an essay if we like. (And, hey, some of us genuinely like writing essays, it's satisfying!) But I've found the best mindset for me to have when arguing is: I'm not going to convince this person in front of me and that's fine, they're not going to convince me, either. But there are other people watching this discussion and they are seeing which one of us is being a pill and which one of us looks kinda fun to hang out with.
Which is my way of winding around to what I really want to say--I'm so glad that I can help you want to have fun in this corner of fandom! There's always going to be times to respond with sharp edges to Jedi-critical stuff (especially when it starts dipping into the racist, xenophobic, bigoted nonsense)(not all of Jedi criticism is this, but it does happen all too often), I don't blame Jedi fans for having their nerves scraped raw by people feeling absolutely free to treat our posts like public property instead of them coming into someone else's lane to make a mess. (I've met some very nice Jedi critical people, this isn't about them, this is about the assholes.)
But is it really worth being in a fandom where that's all we do anymore? We can't avoid the negativity, we can't avoid people being assholes to us, but we can work on making the content we want to see at the end of a long day when we get home and log onto the computer and want to see something that makes us feel joyful.
I hope I'm doing my part to make it fun to stick around the fandom, to want to read some of the books or some of the fic, I love the artists who are drawing the cutest Jedi art, I love the fic writers who are writing great Jedi-positive stories, I love people who make silly shitposts about how funny the Jedi fan be, I love people who cry over the deaths of their favorite Jedi, they help make the fandom worthwhile.
It really does make a huge difference, I think! Whenever I need that same palette cleanser, I just take a week or so to push aside all discourse (don't even go look), just pick up some of my favorite Jedi fics, just go looking for some of my favorite Jedi art, reread "Padawan" or "Padawan's Pride" or "Obi-Wan & Anakin" or "The Living Force" or "Dark Rendezvous" and just spend time thinking about the things I love about the Jedi in canon, thinking up headcanons about lineages or nerdy Jedi philosophy arguments or adrenaline junkies, and it helps create the space I want to be in.
Hearing that I can help you with that is a huge boost as well--I hope you know that it helps me in return to know that we can help build something together here in our corner of the Star Wars internet. We're in this together and we can cheer each other up with cute content and I am getting out the pom-poms for you to have fun with that fic! <3
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In the Meadow
So I meant to start + post a Daryl fic (and itâs 50% there, Iâll finish it soon!!) but I was just obsessed with Rick and the reader in their little spot in the meadow in Moments Behind His Eyes, and I wanted to write another story in that setting. I was actually trying to keep it âporn, no plotâ lol but then I added a bit of plot, one day Iâll try to keep it super short, I promise!! But what I added is fun.. at least I think lol!! You can read it as a prequel to mbhe or not if you donât want to picture the age gap dynamic that is in this fic, your choice. c:
Rick x fem!reader, age gap relationship (reader is in her 20s), Alexandria era, smut / 18+ (I marked the area with a heart where it starts and then three hearts when it really starts to get serious), oh and one use of the word âdaddy.â This is my second fic and I would love to hear some feedback, so please comment or make an ask on my blog about it or about twd, rick, or daryl related things or literally anything about whatever youâd likeâ you would make my day. âĄ
You hate to admit it, but you still felt uncomfortable having sex with Rick at home. Itâs ironic how becoming the woman of the house accidentally made you more promiscuous than you ever were before. You were unbuttoning his shirt and he was taking off your pants under the sun, above the grass, in a meadowâ a MEADOW, near water, that literally anyone could walk into.
Well, that was not exactly true. In probability it wasâ you were outsideâ but in actuality, almost no one visited this slice of heaven you and Rick called your spot.
âHave you been near the meadow today?â Rick, in this variation or another, would ask on occasion. âI saw a pretty little flower growing there this morning.â His smile was sweet, but you knew better. âIt was your favorite color,â there was mischief in his eyes as he shrugged nonchalantly, âreminded me of you.â
It was typical that if he added some detail or new observation about the meadow, whether it was made up or not, that he wanted you. Now.
It was exciting, but also reassuring that you had a place like this to call your own. Having a gorgeous house was a luxury you would never take for granted, but Rickâs house was almost like an hq. You were pretty sure Darylâs spot was in the garage or basement. You didnât bother asking if thatâs what he considered his room, or rooms, or not. Daryl was always welcomed, no questions asked, and no need for him to get self conscious about his waysâ you loved him. And you were also pretty sure he slept outside sometimes, just because itâs what felt natural, or on Carolâs sofa, and who knows where else. He didnât say and no one asked. And as for everyone else, especially those of the pre-Alexandria group, coming by unannounced, asking Rick questions, or sitting for a cup of coffee was common. You guys even had small meetings there. To say the least, this home wasnât always a private one, and you did like that, that the place you lived in was a safe meeting area for others, but as your relationship with Rick advanced, slowly moving from this unspoken partnership to a more outwardly romantic one, you enjoyed having an area that felt like no one was watching.
You were a little younger than Rick. Maybe a little too much younger if you asked some. It was only a little more than nearing toward a decade into this new world, yet you still had your before brain. If this was then, you knew there would be family members who absolutely would not approve. He was the father of a teenager after all. But now, with your found family, you were one of the leaders in Alexandria. You were even a part of the group before Alexandria. Searching for a home, out in the wild for what felt like well over half a year. Surviving a hardship like that brings people together, shows them their strengths, their resilience. Everyone was an equal. And you pulled your weight more than you ever imagined of yourself, as both a fighter and friend.
Itâs part of what made Rick captivated by you. You were strong, and more than capable of holding your own, but so endearingly kind. You werenât a natural at anything, but a quick learner well enough who always had interesting stories to tell. Only you could make a seemingly basic tale about how you got lost on your way to a concert sound so entertaining. You still had the beauty of the past in you. You loved to read and write and you missed watching movies, but you never minded retelling what you remembered of the plot from one of the groups favorite films to lighten the mood on another sleepless night where you hadnât found a home yet. And in the day, when it was time to scavenge or kill the walkers on your trails, you were always prepared to do your part as best as you could. Following example of how to use a gun or your knife. Daryl even taught you how to use his bow, and no one touches his bow. But you liked making a special, intimate connection with everyone, so becoming close to each member came naturally to you. It was individual to you and that person of courseâ your gentleness and lighthearted charm was truly your ownâ but in a way, they trusted you like they trusted Rick. Without realizing it was this precisely, he felt an unspoken connection to you because of it.
You felt it too. He always gave credit to his group when it was due, never down playing their strengths or intelligence, so hearing a quick compliment about your âgood workâ or him placing a hand on your shoulder, patting your back, or that one time he called you a âsweet girlâ because of the way you knew how to make Carl smile, wasnât exactly uncommonâ well maybe that last oneâ but nonetheless it doesnât mean it didnât touch the deepest parts of your heart every time you heard or felt it.
Honestly, you found it silly how obsessed you were with the littles things about him. You loved his beard, how his hair remained a rich brown, yet his facial hair was a mix of brown and grey and white, and how he looked stunning with any variation of it. You knew you would take him with it at its longest, but even with none at all. And his eyes, those potently colored blue eyes. The ones that had little crinkles that formed around the corners when he smiled, it made you wonder if that meant he smiled a lot before all of this. Those eyes reminded you of the sky and what could be. The future without fear or as close as you could get to it. You were inspired that someone who had taken control and fought against oppressors, didnât become one himself. He always remains so deeply loving and even vulnerable at times. He could be untrusting, thatâs true, but in the end, he was always ready to accept more people into his life or his community if they showed their humanity.
Thinking about the things you loved about Rick made you excited for a future with him, but then there was Carl whom you loved so deeply. Itâs not that things were exactly secret, you knew that was true, but you still wondered how aspects of your relationship with him might change when kisses were openly exchanged at the breakfast table, or how it would look to everyone else if you held Rickâs hand more freely when people were around, maybe it a moment where you felt he needed it to remember you were there in times of stress.
Though itâs not like everyone isnât aware of the fact that Rick doesnât talk with, or take the advice of, or even argue at times with others the way he does with you. Rick respected his group, but it was no mystery that he respected you in a way you do with a significant other. Not to mention, you lived in his house for godâs sake; you called it âhomeâ when you referenced it.
You kept teetering with your thoughts, you liked your current home dynamic. You got to be Rickâs partner, everyoneâs friend, plus you were also Carlâs confidant. You even liked to write him little stories, knowing how much he loved his old comics from your time at the prison. Youâd call them âcomic books but in word form,â always handing them over to him excitedly.
âComics have words,â heâd tease, but he always loved reading them, all of âem. He was obsessed. What you would call his âlittle emo boy soulâ would constantly ask if you could write something a little darker, but you couldnât help but make the endings positive. In truth, writing them was an escape for yourself too. This obviously wasnât the life you expected to live after all. But you also loved the Grimesâ and you couldnât picture your life without them now. And you loved that ever since you moved to Alexandria and ever since the original clan started moving to their own respective houses, Rick never asked you to leave and Carl continually asked if you were around.
Your care for him danced over the fine line of being protective of him like a guardian, but always, more likely than not, engaging in conversation with him like an older sister. You liked that he trusted you to tell him things that he felt he couldnât always casually talk to his father about. As endlessly giving as Rick is as a father, he was also a leader living in the aftermath of an apocalypseâ he was a busy guy.
Although you give him the benefit of the doubt, your handsome and strong but obviously oblivious man, has yet to realize or at least acknowledge, that his own son has a girlfriend, or whatever Carl and Enidâs relationship was, you didnât ask too many questions about the actual definition. From your time with Rick before Alexandria, you understood romantic friendships and blurred lines well enough. But you did know Enidâs favorite color, that she knew how to roller skate, and you even helped Carl make her a bracelet from a box of beads one cute little five year old girl in town lent to him.
-âĄ-
Thatâs why as you took quick breaths in between kisses, Rickâs tongue quickly peaking in and out of your mouth as your heads moved left to right and back again, he kissed you once more, slowly humming into the kiss, then letting go to ask, âWhen are we going to do this in our bed?â
Our bed. Thatâs the first time you heard him call it that.
Sure, the amount of times youâve tiptoed to Rickâs door has increased as the weeks have gone by, but you still had your own room. As much as you liked how our bed sounds, is it bad that you still liked how things were? All your books were in there. And you liked when he surprised you in your room too.
âI think at this point you know Carl better than anyone, you donât think he has eyes?â
âIâd say what we have has been undefined, but not discreet,â you reason. You take a beat, âI just want to be respectful.â
âIâm ready for you,â his words are firm and loving. âI donât think anyone is going to worry. And if they do, theyâre going to have to realize theyâve probably noticed all along.â Then a curious smile appears on his face, âAnd did we ever know how old Abraham was in comparison to Rosita?â
That made you giggle far too much, but it also surprised you and you could tell by the look on his face, it surprised him too. Rick was kind, and he could be smug, and liked to laugh but he wasnât the joking type, especially about a lost loved one. Itâs one of the first times heâs mentioned Abraham in the context of his life, not his death.
âIâm sure Abraham would have thought that was funny too.â You think for a moment, âSomething like, âthere ainât enough donuts to choose from in this crumbled up box of life to stick your twinkie into. Beggars canât be choosers. Fuck the plain or get none.ââ You guys both share a look of shock and laughter at your terrible impression. Imperfectly derogatory for sure, but not quite the same as the bizarre but surprisingly understandable verbiage of the charismatic guy you used to know. âRosita is like a strawberry with sprinkles, or a boston creme though. You know, something special; I was just saying whatever came to my head first,â you explain shyly, eyes away, still giggling.
Rick is hysterically speechless, the most confounding look on his face as he tries to process the fact that that pseudo-Abraham phrase came out of your mouth.
âI just didnât want you to get sad.â Your voice is tender and sincere.
-⥠⥠âĄ-
He nods, acknowledging the gesture, saying softly, âSilly girl,â his thumb and pointer holding your chin. âMy pretty girl.â He pecks you, but his lips go in between yours as he does, it feels so deep for something so quick. âMy sweet girl.â Another kiss, and that fire builds in your heart again, youâll never forget the first time he called you that and youâre never getting over how much you love it. âMy sweet baby girl,â his voice is sultry, even though he says it low, it sounds thick and sharp opposed to his lips that feel warm and soft, though his beard scratches up against your skin as he kisses you once more, tongue going into your mouth.
When Rick kisses, it feels immersive. Heâs the man who always has the right words to say, so when he canât speak in a moment like this, all of the conviction he would display verbally, comes out orally by way of how his mouth feel against yours, itâs as if it touches every corner.
Closing your eyes as you lean in, it feels like sunbathing: there is a peace at the feeling of brightness and heat as your eyelids lower. Itâs just like how everything about being with Rick feels right. You feel embarrassed to admit you might worship the man. Youâd give in to anything he gave you.
You were already in his lap, but now your hips move closer to his own until there is no more space. Your knees are bent and your shoes are flat on the ground, helping you grind against him with more control. You push in, up and down, and his hands are on your lower back, nearing your ass helping you go faster.
Rick catches your lips and your tongues twist into one another. Your arms are over his shoulders, theyâre straight and you have your hands crossed over the other. As you continue to rock, one of his hands slowly trails up your back, caressing your neck and then he pushes into your hair. It guides your head exactly the way he wants to kiss you, controlling it, every feeling making you moan into his mouth. Heaven really could be a place and it was your spot, in the meadow, where you and Rick loved and touched exactly how you wanted to.
Rick lets go of you completely and pushes his hands to the ground and slides back as best as he can, moving the two of you closer to a tree to support his back. You both push off your shoes, his shirt was discarded long ago, but now you undo his belt and heâs taking off your shirt.
Heâs pulling his boxers down, his hardened cock springs up, and you notice a vein on the side, precum at the tip, you were this close to kissing it but then he pulls your underwear over to the left, not taking it off. You donât question it because heâs quick with his movements, checking how wet you were with his fingers, despite there being an obviously large wet spot on the fabric, and then he pushes himself in, bottoming out immediately.
Your sigh is angelic, and his groan is guttural, it almost makes you moan again.
You rock against him, this time feeling so full and euphoric. You hadnât had sex in the before time, but there was that one time where you did lose your virginity to a nice guy back at the prison, and then another time a year later when you decided to try again with someone else. It was fun, but meaningless. You didnât think youâd be the one night stand type, at least not for your first times, but back then you sometimes felt like everyday was your last day, and as much as you always admired Rick, he was heavy in mourning in the early prison days, and you were trying to be a good friend by keeping your distance, talking to him platonically.
Alexandria was different though, you felt a new hope here. And then there were Rickâs more forward gestures, leading you to follow his new energy, and now you think he has probably ruined everyone else for you, not that there would be anyone else. Who else could there be now that Rick called you his?
You started to pump up and back down, bouncing happily. You were always the kind of person that was so worried about everyone elseâs feelings, and as much as you smiled it wasnât all the time that Rick saw you so carefree. So much so in fact you kept switching from bouncing to rocking, not knowing which you liked best, both feeling so good, âyou just feel so big,â you admitted, stretching out the syllables, making him groan again.
It amused him too, laughing lightly as he opened his eyes, watching your face tilt, mouth agape, pants and quiet âahsâ coming out of you. Your eyes were closed, you looked as if you were in an amazing, intoxicating place.
He liked that this was a new way he got to know you that other people didnât. You never admitted it, but he knew now that sometimes you like being on top. It made him chuckle, just watching you do as you pleased. He liked giving you what you wanted, but now he wanted to speed things up.
âAlright,â he said, kissing you quickly, âmy turn.â He pulled you off and almost threw you to the ground. You thought nothing of it, all you did was take off your under garments in anticipation.
He was between your legs now, on his knees, staring at the glistening of your folds that was seeping just a bit at the bottom, the hand on your lower stomach, then your tits, noticing you had discarded your braâ you really were becoming dissolute, werenât you? But really you were just absolutely drunk on Rick. Finally, he noticed your swollen lips and your teeth that softly bit down on your finger, your eyes entranced by the man above you, the sun creating a halo over his messy curls. âYou really are my beautiful girl, arenât you?â
You shook your head bashfully. âAnd youâre my handsome man.â
âOh yeah?â
You hum, you meant it sweetly, but it comes out seductively.
He comes closer, âDoes that mean youâre going to let me do exactly what I want?â
âYes, daddy.â The phrase comes out without thinking, your eyes scrunch, your cheeks are roses, your hands cover your face, but Rick has the widest grin, pushing your hands off to meet your eyes.
âOkay,â he nodded curiously, eyes smiling wickedly now. âIf thatâs how you see it, baby girl.â
Then suddenly, your head was in between his hands, flat on the grass and he pushes in completely, no stopping. You felt entirely split open. There was no mercy here.
He noticed your eyes and nose scrunching up again at all the pain and pleasure. Your breaths kept coming out as quick and harsh pants, then he watched the tension release as he slowed down, moving his cock in and halfway out a bit, rocking his hips into it. Your pants turned into moaning sighs, and then he switched on you. Totally disrupting the system as he quickened up again. Your mouth opened wide. You tried your best not to shout his name, but nonetheless a loud, âRick!â came out and your face tightened again.
âLet go,â you were squeezing his arms for dear life at this point, but you listened and released him, reaching for his back. His forearms laid on the grass now so you could put your arms over him. His balls were slapping against you as he went hard and deep, kissing your neck until he couldnât hold in his grunts and moans that fell directly into your ear. The speed became almost unbearable as he said your name and then he came, but even after he did, his stamina never faltered.
He took your bent leg and placed it over his shoulder, and took the liberty to thumb your clit. Tight circles going fast, fast, fast. But he did make sure to slow down the pace, only a little for you, going in and out saying, âYour turn, pretty girl. You gonna be good for me?â
âYes,â you said desperately.
You two moaned in unison, thrusting up into each other, until Rick changed the position of his thrusts to curl up inside of you. It makes you drop your leg from his shoulder, digging into his back, âRight there.â
âYeah, there it is,â he felt you close, he smiled knowing heâs got you exactly where you needed it, âYouâre a sweet girl, you know that?â He looked at you when he said it but your eyes were closed. His words alone snapped the knot inside of you and took you over the edge. You felt it everywhere as he pumped vastly once again allowing you to ride your high, hand coming to your jaw, starting to lightly cover your neck as you did so, he did it without thinking and then let go.
Once you came down, he pulled out, putting your underwear and bra back on for you and taking his boxers. He laid flat on his back and pulled you over until you were on top of him.
His arms extended over you, you both laid in peaceful silence for a moment until he said your name, making you look up at him. He took one of his hands to fix your disheveled hair, running his fingers through it lightly. Your eyes doting as your fingers trailed his face in return. You really were his sweet, beautiful girl.
âTonight,â he started, âAfter I put Judith down, Iâm going to open my door and call out for Carl. Iâm going to say goodnight to him and then I want you to come and stand with me by the door. Then you say goodnight too.â He was stern in tone, but gentle in sentiment. âItâs time.â
âOkay,â you responded obediently. âYouâre right, itâs time.â
#the walking dead#rick grimes#rick grimes x reader#rick grimes smut#rick grimes fanfiction#rick grimes imagine#rick grimes fic#rick grimes x y/n#rick grimes x female reader#rick grimes x fem!reader#rick grimes x reader smut#twd fanfiction#twd fic#rick twd#smut#rick grimes x you#rick grimes x y/n smut
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End of October Update
There's got to be a less clunky way for me to title these things but maybe I'll figure it out after a few posts.
Anyway at the top of the order I want to say that uh... the Abacelsus zine is not happening by halloween unforch.. I just started school part-time and it being part-time is still kicking my ass! So tentative release date will be on 11th November unless something else happens....
On the plus side I'm done with the cover so all that's left is the back page and cramming all 24 pages full of drawings đ
-> As I've said at the end of my previous post I want to make more blog style posts so here's me trying to do that, more under the cut
đAbacelsus Zine
I'm still deciding on whether i want to print it A5 or B5 but I'm leaning towards A5, though for the digital release it doesn't really matter lol
As mentioned, I'm done with the main cover so I just need to fill this entire thing with stuff, I said 24 pages but really the total page count is 30. I'm just not counting the cover and the blurb stuff.
I'm half taking a break with this at the risk of burning myself out and half paralysed with starting it. Plus I've kind of been more into Axl & I-no hilariously but I'll always love A.B.A. I think the lack of any real info really lends her well to interpretation which is always fun.
I've never really been one to engage in fandom so I'm probably going to be doing my own thing. That being said if anyone has any suggestions feel free to drop them in my strawpage or ask box :)
đ„€ Strawpage & General Socials
The bugs make my pages so decorative, I gotta draw more bugstyle guys.
Speaking of strawpage, I made one of those! It was really fun, I have a short OC info tab with descriptions of some of my main guys. I'd love for you to check it out.
This kind of acts as my ask box for twitter since there's not one there and apparently it's basically my main social media site these days so I'm just mirroring my experience here over there too.
Hilarious timing considering that it's basically collapsing on itself once again, I'll probably still be on that damn site until it implodes but I also have a Bluesky account for those that care about it.
The sky follower bridge extension is really useful for bulk following people from twitter to bsky
I'd love to post there more but there's not a queue function and that's very important to me as someone who is not American and lazy to remember optimal timings.
Did you see? I also have a new pinned for this blog! Wanted to make a new one for a while now, always thought the old one was so freaking long. All the old info is still on my about and faq page though I don't know who actually looks at those.. a relic from years past..
âč School
Sigh, like I mentioned earlier I'm doing school again! At my big age, but I'm having fun so far! It's part-time but it's still kicking my fucking ass! It's the main reason why I'm a little disoriented this month honestly.
Do you like it? I spent an entire Sunday making my class miro board look niceys and then proceeded to get nauseous from cybersickness afterwards LOL
I'm doing a UI/UX course and I have to say the funnest part about it is making personas, it's like making OCs. Don't particularly like writing though.. but also that's a lie considering the numerous amount of paragraphs in this blog post alone haha
đ Merch
I've also gotten confirmation that I'll be boothing again next year in Febuary! So I gotta start locking into making more stickers and general merch. I say this a lot but I do need to look into opening an online store because I just have tonnes of stickers and stuff lying around waiting till the next time I do a convention which is kind of a shame.
Oh, but I will say that if you are from Singapore and would like anything from my previous convention catalogue feel free to shoot me a DM on instagram and I can mail it to you locally, shipping's $2 SGD.
â°Closing Thoughts
All in all, been kind of busy this month with school and various loose threads from September but overall I think I'm doing better! I've also been cooking lately and truthfully that's my biggest achievement this month haha, been also getting really into canned fish. Yummy!
Oh and a last thing is that I've been itching to animate again so I'll end this post with a WIP of a gif I did last night/morning. I almost always never finish my animations but here's hoping this one actually makes it to the colouring stage haha
No prizes to anyone who can guess who these two because of course.
Thank you for reading! I know I can't expect everything to be done in a single month but I just wish I could do everything without getting tired or cybersick! If you'd like to support me, here's my ko-fi page and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.
If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: [email protected]
XOXO, Stay weird!
-Eliot :)
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Omg I need some platonic valgrace so bad rn (maybe some hurt/comfort?)
Also congrats on 400, I have a writing blog too lol
"Ditching work with Leo Valdez"
author's note: I'm actually super sorry if it's short for you! But enjoy anyways!
Jason stared miserably at the heaps of files and design folios in front of him. He was so fucking stressed out. So many shrines to design and construct, for so many minor gods and goddesses. He had to ensure that the shrines were all equally good looking, so that no minor gods feel inferior to the other. Shrines, let alone extravagant looking ones, could take YEARS to build. For all he knows, he could be in this project till he was 24.
These lingering thoughts troubled his mind. Jason's under eye bags were so visible, he could've sworn his hair turned a few shades lighter aswell due to stress. Realizing that he probably looked just as terrible as he felt, a few tears slid out of Jason's eyes. This feeling was starting to get so familiar these days. He was going through a terrible cycle of burn out.
sighing, Jason got up from his desk to grab his third cup of coffee, he headed out for a walk in the streets of New Rome, to go to his favorite cafe. He was a few steps close to the door, when he spotted a familiar mop of curly hair lingering behind him in the corner of his eye.
âJason!â âI knew you'd be here manâ
The voice of Leo Valdez had more of an effect on Jason's serotonin than any of Jason's coffees had.
Jason spun around immediately, and as if it was an instinct, bear hugged his best friend.
âSuperman, i-i can't breatheâ Leo sputtered out, laughing and squirming in Jason's strong grasp. Jason quickly pulled away. Leo raised his eyebrows, studying Jason's face in an âi-know-you-are-overworkedâ type of way.
Jason sighed. âTerrible burnout. I feel uselessâLeo frowned, âwhy didn't you iris message any of us? Nico? Percy? Annabeth? ME? We care about you, man. Don't shut yourself out, please .Nico is worried sick about his bro.â Jason smiled.
âHow are he and Will? I hope their relationship is still going strongâ Leo grinned deviously. âThey are super super gay and proud, don't worry.â
âAs they should be.â Jason replied sternly like a mother that it made Leo giggle. âAnyways, the reason I'm actually here is, I WON TWO TICKETS TO THE THEME PARK!!â Leo smacked the tickets into Jason's face aggressively in excitement. âThe one Piper said she always went to? Do you know how expensive those things are?? What did you sacrifice to the gods to get these?â
Jason's eyes sparkled. He had never been to theme parks before, and this theme park Leo had just won tickets to? It was not cheap. and the hopes of visiting one felt like a fever dream. It felt bizarre, the whole concept of carnivals, amusement parks and theme parks were non existent to the Romans.
âThat's besides the point. All that matters is that there are TWO tickets. And I've invited YOU to go with me dudeâ Leo said. Jason's jaw dropped. âWait? Seriously? You're taking me of all people to go with you? But why?â
âDam bro you're so oblivious, it's cuz you're my best bud! Who else would I be taking? Besides, no offense, you look like you clearly need a stress free tripâ Leo rolled his eyes. Jason cackled as Leo screamed through almost half the rides that he INSISTED he wasn't scared of. Jason had to reassure him that he isn't falling as long as he has his skydiving buddy with him.
âOKAY. Holy hephaestus. I am NEVER going on rides like that ever again dammit!â Leo leaned on Jason's shoulder for support. The longer jason replayed Leo's screams, the funnier it got.âYup. I'm sure won't. Do you want ice cream? Because I'm paying, no arguments.â Jason stated firmly like a mother again. âFor the love of god, could you stop with the mother voice? It makes me feel like I'm getting reprimanded â Leo whined and Jason laughed.
âOkay so icecream or no?â
âHow could I decline that offer, Superman?â
Without even realizing it, Jason forgot all about what he was upset about. That's the Leo Valdez effect for ya!
#valgrace#pjo#pjo fandom#percy jackson#pjo series#jason grace#pjo hoo#pjo hoo toa#leo valdez#percy jackson headcanon#percy jackon and the olympians
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hey! we need to talk.
well hello again!! i hope youâre all doing well. i feel like itâs been a minute since iâve actually spoken to anyone on here.
as some of you may or may not have noticed, iâve been pretty absent on this blog lately. at least, more than i usually am. i havenât posted any writing in well over a month which is a little out of character for me. iâve had quite a few writing blogs on here and i canât really recall a time where itâs been that long without me posting at least a drabble.
in my time away from this app and from fic writing in general, iâve realized a couple things changing about myself + my attitude towards this place in general.
honestly, iâve come to the conclusion that i donât really get the same satisfaction from writing on here as i used to. it could be due to the lack of feedback from the general public on here, or really just me admitting that i donât want to write for pre-existing characters/storylines forever. letâs settle it as a mixture of both!
and donât get me wrong, i still enjoy fanfiction writing. i adore the community here and the people iâve had the privilege to meet even through the littlest moments. itâs made me not only a better creative, but also just better in general.
iâve just been doing this kind of thing for so long (really since i was in 1st grade mapping out my first warrior cats fanmade storyline and oc), and i think between that, and all of these more mature/explicit writing blogs iâve had in the past 4-5 years, maybe iâve just grown tired of ALWAYS resorting to fanfiction.
iâve always wanted to create something that is truly mine, and i feel like iâve been sort of âlimitingâ myself this whole time in a weird way. a part of me knows it isnât true, since this has been pretty expansive for my creativity. and itâs an art form that, in my opinion, doesnât get anywhere near enough credit for all of the thought that goes into it. i mean, you have to be pretty damn creative to be able to write multiple descriptions of sexual penetration in the same oneshot that actually sound good, and donât sound like they were ripped straight out of booktok. just saying! (that was a joke please donât kill me)
anyways, this is getting to be way too long of a post for something so unimportant LMAO.
to get to the point, iâm not going to be active on this blog much longer. iâm probably going to post my final works in these next few months (possibly a few fics for my feeble attempt at a kinktober, and maybe a few for my bday month in december).
and just to clarify, this is in no way me saying that iâm leaving tumblr for good after those few months are up. this is also not me saying iâm quitting âfanmadeâ creative works forever. i still love writing a good fic and making fan art from time to time!
in the hopefully better part of this news, i have been planning out my art account for when i feel this blog has run its course and iâve made everything i need to make. i probably wonât announce it publicly, but for those who want it when that time comes, i will definitely make sure you get the url. as usual, mooties get first pickings when that time comes <3
i donât imagine this will disappoint many people since iâm not really âleavingâ but who knows. iâm not expecting many people to even read this far or even notice if iâm here or not lol. i just didnât want to deactivate out of the blue since that wouldnât make sense for me to do.
even though iâll still be on this blog for a few more months, i want to thank you all for giving me a space to grow and express myself. not just as a creative, but as a person too. this sounds really stupid and corny but i mean it. sure, iâve never made record numbers on here, iâm not the most popular, but i can say without a doubt i have a wonderful group of people around me on here. even if we never meet in person, or if we never interact again outside of this blog, all of you on here will always be somewhere in my memory and i will always be so grateful for you since you made me feel like i was good enough to be seen. even if it was for my shitty smut fics. <3
i love and appreciate every single one of you. letâs have a great last few months on here, ok?
vlynn
#important.#just a little something. thank you in advance if you read the whole thing <3#đ©âĄđȘ â sirenâs song
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