#may be the ending of something im writing

[elsa-fogen]

Yep. Yeah. That's me. Almost all of it, except, i sleep well (if i manage to fall asleep) Reblogging because maybe some of you didn't know (i also didn't know)

Story time!

Too long don't read: used to sleep on private math lessons because i hate math; it takes hours for me to fall asleep WHEN I SUPPOSED TO, and my sister does it in 3-5 minutes.

I was studying at university and we had MATH there I've always had problems with it. since 5th grade i think (well, i hated math before too but real problems started there) when i changed schools and the new class was behind what I've already studied and i didn't pay attention, until i realized that at some point I was behind. I said "welp, i guess it's to late to try, so fuck it"

So at university we had this very high level math and i just couldn't understand a thing (and we had an awful teacher who was saying evvvvery time something like "yall getting expelled, we're all gonna die") so i decided "if i don't understand, fuck it then, i will not even try" and started skipping math classes.

But i STILL had to pass an exam, we were getting 3 tries and if you fail you're getting expelled. I failed first two what a surprise (i don't know how i managed to pass it after all, i can't remember SHIT, only that i is fucking non-existing number which is square root of -1. Why on earth would you need it i have NO fucking clue.

So i had personal teachers who tried to make me understand at least something to pass the exam. And there was one i remember very well, i even remember that we paid her 10$ per hour (for us that was quite a lot). And i remember her because i was SLEEPING. I just COULDN'T keep my eyes opened. She explains something about deviding by zero and my brain draws the fucking universe collapsing in front of my eyes. She gives me some task, I'm trying to write something and I'm falling asleep and DREAMING about writing, then ahe wakes me up and i see that i didn't write SHIT. It all ended when in the middle of lesson she just kicked me out.

And, what a miracle, I'm leaving her apartments and suddenly, all the sleepiness just wanishes! I'm walking home, thinking about some another AU of mine, roleplaying it with myself in my head, full of energy again.

That's not the only case of this, but it's the strongest i ever felt. But that like happens all the time, EVEN WHEN MY MOM OR MY GRANNY COMES TO ME AND START TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING I'M NOT INTERESTED, IM YAWNING AND FEEL URGE TO FALL ASLEEP. But the moment they leave, It goes away! I was calling it work allergy LMAO

I was diagnosed with adhd in my early childhood (there was also something about epilepsy, but it's ok now so it doesn't matter), not long ago i brought this fact back into my active memory (thanks to Jaiden animations ADHD video for that xD) i kinda used to myself by now and now I'm trying to catch and analyse all moments of adhd kicking in. I know my own tricks and buttons, how to make myself do the thing or just how to force myself into doing something. Because i know if i start, I'll probably lock in and won't get up until it's done (well, if i have at least a tiny bit of interest in that thing, or else i won't), and i hate it when someone interrupts me in the middle of the process. No mom, i can't come right now, i can't finish it later, because i either spend few more hours forcing myself to go back to the task or just forget about it.

But i didn't know that this sleepiness was a legit symptom! I just thought that it's exaderated boredom, that's it, had a joke name for it. That's... Funny to know that this thing is actually also adhd moment.

Also, about sleeping. I have problems falling asleep. I may lie in the bed for hours without even my phone, just rotating my stories in my head, and when i don't have a story to think about, this is just the name of my current hyperfixation with different tones and in different random dialogues that doesn't even make sense. I have no idea how to fall asleep, except when i didn't sleep for like 48 hours (EVEN THEN IT MIGHT BE A PROBLEM AND I START THINKING OF THAT CREEPY PRION SICKNESS AND SCARE MYSELF AGAIN). And my mom told me that it have always been like that with me. She and my dad had the whole ritual to make me fall asleep. Dad would hold me in his arms, his head with me covered with a blanket that i could only see his face (or else I would look everywhere and never fall asleep), and rock me for HOURS while i was SCREAMING and CRYING the whole time like i was tortured. But when I'd finally fall asleep, they could be as loud as usual and didn't have to whisper, because wake me up is a whole different story. And my mom was SHOCKED when all it took to make my sister fall asleep was just pet her back for 3-5 minutes.

I don't think of myself as... Sick or ill. That's how i was all my life, i don't know anything else. That's not a sickness to me, that's just part of my personality. Maybe sometimes some parts of it bite me in the ass and make my life harder, but i don't know other life. That's the only one I've got, and i guess I'm fine with that (tho now that i think about it, i need to pay more attention to how i write the characters, and don't make them all ADHDshers LOL i need to study neurotypical people under a microscope 🔬🔍)

bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺

[ravers8fantasy]

Haiii new Punch Out fan here! (Well, I recently rejoined the fandom) This is gonna sound dumb but if one of the boxers came down with an illness, how would the other boxers help?

(Don Flamenco is the sick one bc may my favorite suffer lol🙃)

Dw its not dumb!!

Yall weather is getting colder so make sure to keep warm and stay hydrated!!! also sorry for any mistakes here I did this during the night zoomies....

How do boxers help eachother when sick? (don im looking at you specifically here...)

Glass Joe:

I think he makes some pretty good soup, and he gives it to the boxers whenever they are sick in a thermos so it stays warm for longer

Made Don a get well soon card, but forgot to sign it so poor Don was left wondering who tf gave him a card with cursive af hand writing

Von kaiser:

Takes rest very seriously, if he catches any of the boxers not resting whilst they are sick he will chase them and bolt them into bed.

He visited Don and instead of saying get well soon he lectured him on what he should and should not do (you should stay hydrated, dont move too much, get fresh air, dont smoke, etc etc)

Disco Kid:

Usually the first one on the scene if Kaiser hasnt beaten him. He helps make them feel better usually by just being a big massive positive ball of energy.

When he visited Don with Tiger he danced at the foot of Dons bed whilst Tiger danced (they both got kicked out)

Piston Hondo

Makes really hearty meals for the boxers when they are sick, usually some form of protein with a heck ton of herbs

Literally forced Don to eat because he wasnt eating due to lack of appetite. Bro was not having any of it

Bear Hugger:

Brings boardgames around to cure good old boredom since you cant do alot when your like mega sick

Played a round of uno with Don and it ended up with Don having the sickest coughing fit ever (Bear revealed he was hiding all his cards under his suspenders and that fact disturbed Don)

Great tiger:

Usually brews up a nice hot herbal tea for the gang when they are sick. He has to warn everyone now not to drink it straight away after the amount times boxers have burnt their tounges

Like Don for example, he burnt his tounge on that tea but he still drank the whole lot cus that shit hit the spot (also kicked him out after he started hos 'supportive rapping' stunt with Disco)

Aran Ryan:

If its a cold then Aran doesnt take it too seriously, however if its like a proper fever then he might do something nice (only if he is feeling generous)

Gave Don a card but he didnt want to come across as too nice so he made it shoot out a shit ton of confetti. Afterwards, don found random confetti around of his room for like 3 months

Soda popinski:

Bro either pulls up to be useful or pulls up to be silly. Usually its the latter, I think Soda would try and get sick boxers to drink fizz but after that doesnt work he just tells them repeatedly to stay hydrated

Gave Don a 6 pack of knock of pepsi he found somewhere, after Don declined he was just like "oh... Your not going to be hydrated though?🤨" . Don also ended up kicking tf out of his place since he barley helped bless.

Bald bull:

I think he wouldnt really interact much with the other boxers. However when one of them is sick he suggests they go out and get some fresh air, mabye just sit outside and have a calm moment to yourself.

was going to tell don, but because he was roughing it out at the time of his visit bull decided to keep his mouth shut

Super macho man:

Gives gifts but the gifts are usually his own merch. He packages it all fancy as well which makes it even more weird

Gave Don a pair of macho 'glasses'. Don ignored him for a while, even after he got better from being ill

Sandman:

Like bull I also think Sandman doesnt interact with the others that much, however that doesnt necessarily mean he doesnt care. He gives cards to the boxers whenever they are sick (well to the ones he likes...)

Gave Don a card, it wasnt a fancy one just one of those you would find in the card section of a supermarket. However he wrote some pretty helpful tips on how to effectively rest which definitely helped alot.

≣≣≣≣≣✿≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣≣

Waheyyy first headcanon post in a while!! Im starting to get back onto the grind so apologies for any spelling mistakes lmao. Hope you enjoyed and sorry if some of them are pretty vauge or repetitive😭

Byebye‼️

[unknownati]

iii. her new friend.

a/n: im alive i wrote this months ago and i HAAATE it but i wanna post something so maybe ill get back into writing🤷🏾‍♀️ i lowkey cringe reading it 😭 may delete later!

warnings/tags: loosely (very loosely) inspired by the beginning of green eyes by erykah badu, jealousy, no reader description, communication, not good communication but it's still there, disagreement/argument(kinda), ends fluffy (and a LIIIIITTLE SUGGESTIVE A LITTLE), reader stands on big bidness until the end, lowercase intended, BARELY PROOFREAD AS ALWAYS 🔥🔥, self indulgent tbh, also suck at endings just shhh 😊

______________________________________________

you hated her.

well, not her. you hated how abby acted around her.

she was new; just recently started to stay at the wlf stadium.

and she was so pretty, you didn't know about 'prettier than you', but she was really pretty. her skin was glassy, her eyes lashes were so naturally long, her hair looked so nice in any style, everything.

it's not that you didn't have what she did or hated her just for existing. you were sure she was super sweet, talented, all of it. in fact, when you first met her you thought she was fantastic. but something about her being paired with abby made your eye twitch.

but abby seemed so much more...lively around her.

at first, you wondered if it was just you. maybe you were overreacting? you tried to brush it off until you heard somebody passing by call them a cute couple. abby didn't say anything either, just laughed.

you did try to bring it up too. of course not your exact thought, you tried to be nice about it since you assumed she didn't realize what she'd been doing.

"abby, i feel like you've been hanging out with your friend a lot more than you've been with me. not that you can't be with your friend, but y'know...'m here too."

and she chuckled, kissed your cheek, and just whispered a cute little "okay, 'm sorry," in your ear.

after that, she kept up with you for about a week. and then she went right back to her new little friend.

no biggie, at this point you were fed up. you tried a couple times to bring it up again, each time getting more honest and honest just to be met with a similar response.

you didn't care anymore. if she wants to hang out with her, so be it.

"'morning," she leaned over the couch and kissed your cheek, admiring your pretty face. "me and jade are gonna go play with the dogs."

nothing new, but every time you heard her name you felt you were going to explode. "mhm,"

you felt abby still lingering over your shoulder, waiting for another response. usually you'd tell her to 'have fun', 'be safe' if it was patrol duty.

"..you okay?" she leaned further down to be within your line of vision, her hands gripping the back of the couch. when you just nodded she paused, wondering if she should even say anything. she was so confused, why were you upset?

she walked around the side to sit next to you, too close. the contact made you huff, scoot away. she scoffed in disbelief. "what's wrong?"

you forced a smile onto your face and turned to face her, shaking your head. "nothing? go ahead, be with your friend," you waved your hand, turning back to the window. abby's eyebrows twitched. you looked back, eyeing her up and down. "..what?"

"why'd you word it like that?" she asked, her eyes darting to the side and then back onto your face.

"like what? what'd you want me to say?"

"i don't know...it's just--i just feel like you're mad at me." she did that dumb thing with her eyes, slightly tilting her head and looking at you like a sad dog. you knew it was never on purpose, and somehow that made it worse. she had that nervous smile on her face too.

"wonder why? 't's not like i haven't tried bringing it up for the past few weeks."

"what?" her face contorted into one of confusion.

"what?" you raised your brows.

"can you just talk to me?"

"clearly i've tried."

"then talk to me again...please."

you took a deep breath, feeling like a broken record.

"it doesn't even matter at this point. i told you, time after time, i feel like you're with jade more than you're with me. it literally didn't feel like you wanted me, i didn't feel like i was good enough for you. it's like at this point, if you want her, just have her. it's not like you two aren't already practically dating. you didn't listen, but it's fine, i don't care anymore, i'm over it, literally just go."

abby felt like she just got hit with a brick.

"do you think i want her? like, want to date her?" abby watched you groan, stand up and stretch your back, completely ready to just walk away from the conversation. you weren't about to be accused of being jealous on this fine thursday morning. "☆, seriously. is that what you think? i wouldn't replace you for anything, i'm sorry, i didn't--"

"ooooh my god. just go, dude. it's fine."

"it's not fine, though. and did you just call me dude?"

you huffed, about to blow up at her when you felt her grab the hem of your pants to pull you back towards her. "i'm sorry, okay? i mean it. i love you, not her, i didn't realize how much it was upsetting you. i'll stop."

your throat burned, brows furrowed. you almost stopped her when she pulled you into her lap, almost. the warmth of her arms wrapped around you was what made you stop. "i told you multiple times. why didn't you listen?"

"i don't know. i thought i was hanging out with her less."

before you could even start, you felt her littering your face and neck with kisses, her arms squeezing you tighter. it was so annoying to not be able to stay mad at her no matter how hard you tried, and you rolled your eyes. you reached up and pulled her in for a kiss, a proper one, one that you deserved.

"let me make it up to you, please?" she asked, one of her hands dropping to reach up your shirt and gently rub circles into your side.

"what about jade?"

"she can wait."

[saturnplaza]

 He wraps his arms around my waist keeping his gaze locked onto my eyes.

 I press myself closer to him. 

Arms around him, Staring right back. 

Looking into his eyes. Everything around seems quiet and slow. 

Shallow breaths. 

Hold on tighter. 

You know this is when you’ll meet your demise. 

Embrace your death while holding onto a stranger. 

Someone you’re intertwined with, in such little time.

A bond that couldn’t compare to any companionship.

No matter how long the time.

The urge to survive is gone. It's time to accept it. 

Me and You at the end of things. 

If you had asked me yesterday i’d say: 

I’d say you were no one to me. 

Now look, what are we? 

This is real love, and I see it in your eyes.

We both can feel it.

Real love. 

Not what they tell in tales.

Real love is death in the arms of a stranger. 

Cause no matter how little you know of each other.

Trauma Brings Love Among Other Things.

No matter how strong a bond may be — You can never have your souls intertwined

Unless you’re like this. 

To have lived together.

To have survived together.

To have lost and regained hope.

To have it all means almost nothing.

But to know it all had a reason. 

So you can both feel it.

Real love.

[wickmitz]

— THE ELECTRIC-FEVER REMEDY.

[yume-fanfare]

day 7 of torikasa week is future! what will they do after graduation?

[lemongogo]

why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm

[what-even-is-sleep]

thinking about Bodkin again bc I mean,,, ALL THE SYMBOLISM OHHHHHGH. i NEED some tumblr film analysis hobbyists to watch this show and tell me all the themes n such

[lynzishell]

Oh Hi!!

Remember on Monday when I said I was definitely going to have a story post this week... and then I proceeded to post nothing? 🙈 Sorry about that. I think I need to just let myself take a f'realz break, so my story will officially resume in May. I'll still be here, trying to check in when I can. I'm already behind on so much, but I'm doing my best. Thank you all for being so kind and supportive during this time! I appreciate you more than I can say! 💖

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

I have so many drawing ideas for Poll and Tequilla but alas. My hands don't want to work with me.

[mercless]

🗡 mad cowboy disease....

[thedrotter]

I have a gift for y'all today !!! 😊 Ever wanted to find a line in Re:Kinder in a single place for the sake of reference?? How about multiple chunks of lines. how about all the little variations that arise in the text with it's many endings, item descriptions, text that comes from interacting with the enviroment, and character info from the menu without having to boot up the game and go through it at long minutes!!???

well i sure did😊 Since I do a lot of fanart and think up my own silly theories and thoughts that need me to reference the game lines a lot, i have made a transcript for it for convenience's sake. A weirdly thorough transcript handwritten and proofread by me including all character lines available in-game. And I'm sharing it with you all today for anyone that wants it !!! :3 To use as a reference for creative fanworks or a quick search for a line in-game, whatever you wish to use it for!!

It uses the english translation of the game by vgperson. So naturally all credit for the game lines available in here is to her and Parun who made the game.

I did my best to organize it in a way easy to digest. Do note that I'm still human, and there's still the chance for mistake in it no matter how much I've proofread it, since I'm not even an english native speaker ^^. But I hope it serves you well nonetheless if you wish to use it.

That's my gift for today!!! Not the usual art, but still a project I'm proud of. Enjoy!!! 😊

[quiveringdeer]

Toshinori x f!reader

just some brief raw smutty thoughts from chats with my beloved Ashi @birds-have-teeth about inexperienced!Toshinori back in the day

-gentle femdom, praise kink, overstim, Toshi just bein an adorable delight, Bunny as an endearment

Thanks to One for All he has a low refractory period (cause plot magic lmao), but cause he gets to rely on that he also just cums so fuckin easy and doesn't even try to hold it back--I mean he does cause he gets incredibly embarrassed, and the sensitivity can be a bit much but yeah

Just imagining eventually putting him through some stimulation "training", teasing and stimulating him in all the different ways and having him try to hold himself back, try to please you but also beat his own records. He's so so soooo overjoyed everytime you praise him for making it to a new standard

He's got his eyes closed, face scrunched up, fingers clenching onto something and your eyes are on a timer you set as you lazily stroke his cock. He makes it past the time and you coo up at him about how well he did and he sucks in a deep breath and erupts all over your hand, trembling all over and then blinking down at you (why's he so fuckin tall even sitting down??) flushed and already murmuring sweet lil apologies

And he’ll whine that you have to stop praising him because it’s making him cum faster and and and-

which just has you laughing softly and complimenting how damn cute he is when he's all flustered!!!

he leans forward to try and hide his face in your hair. But you don't let him, casually capturing his chin with your non messed hand, giving him a chaste lil peck on his lips.

"Nuh uh, good bunnies clean their mess up first." You say before lifting your other fingers to his lips. Somehow his cheeks flush even deeper and he casts his eyes to the side--since he can't turn away-- and opens up his mouth obediently, pink tongue licking his cum from your fingers.

and then murmer a gracious thank you after swallowing, looking up at you like you're a goddess, cause to him you are

[anawrites3]

Hi, Ana! I hope you have a good day! I remember you've said Slade's people love Dick but I wonder wether were there any who wished ill for him? Or saw him purely as King's glorified fucktoy and made a mistake of suggesting something like that around the King himself?

Hi, anon! Thank you, I hope you're having a great day as well ☺️💕 And I absolutely love your ask, thank you for the opportunity to talk about this!!

The short answer is yes, of course some of Slade's people wish ill for Dick. A bunch of them want to get rid of him too, but let's not focus on that now. Actually, there are Defiance's common people that wish ill for Dick! Just a few weeks ago Defiance and Gotham were at war so obviously there are people who still perceive Dick as an enemy.

I could try to draw this out but I'm shit at drawing 🤣 so let me do it this way: I'd divide Slade's people in three groups - ones that love Dick right away, ones that are uncertain and wary of him, and the ones that straight out hate him. That last one can be split up into another groups - into those who literally just wish Dick ill and nothing more; those who are spitting hateful words at him whenever they can; and those who'd try to make his life harder and attempt to physically hurt Dick to show him how below them he really is.

I won't divide them even more cuz that would get messy but I'll just add that yes, some of them see Dick just as Slade's little slut, others see him as a pawn in Slade's plan for more power and even Gotham itself; some even think of Dick as war trophy. You get the drill.

About those that spit out hateful words at him - Dick just allows them to swear at him and call him bad names. They're not stupid and they don't touch him so it's not like they're doing anything. Besides, he's already used to mean words, being called a bastard child and bastard prince in Gotham, so ignoring them is easy. He's not going to lower himself to their level and try to make them stop doing it - it didn't work when he was a kid and it won't work now.

Slade, on the other hand. Slade has ways of making them shut up.

Hope that answered your question alright! And now (who would have guessed it?) a little story :3

- - - - - -

Dick liked Slade's men, those closest to his husband. All of them were very polite, treating him with respect and they always made sure he was comfortable with what they were doing. Sir Wintergreen reminded him of Alfred, with being in charge of most things and the way he was fussing over almost everything. He also wasn't afraid to tell Slade off if the man did something wrong, which was a trait very rare even in Defiance.

"You can come to me with any problem you have." He assured Dick quietly one day when Slade wasn't there. "We both know that His Majesty is the one you should report all issues to first but if you ever feel uncomfortable with telling him anything, I'm right here at your service."

Dick really appreciated it. Slade had a lot more important matters to take care of than what little problems Dick could have. Sir Wintergreen, while still being Slade's right-hand man, assured him that he'll always find time for him and if not take care of the problem himself, then he'll know who to talk to.

But there was something Dick didn't dare to tell even him.

"Look where the hell you're going." One of the men sneered at Dick. His hands twitched, as if he wanted to shove Dick at the wall for standing in his way. "You shouldn't even be in this part of the castle."

Dick straightened immediately, raising his chin. He was just walking around the castle, admiring portraits that adorned its stone walls, when they walked from around the corner and almost bumped into Dick, too busy talking to notice him. But it was all Dick's fault, of course.

From what he knew, those men still worked strictly for his husband but not as directly. Slade still saw them frequently, at meetings and what not, but they mostly took orders from other knights, such as sir Wintergreen or sir Isherwood.

Dick absolutely despised them.

"I'm allowed to be here." He said, because despite whatever they were thinking, Slade never forbade him going into certain parts of the castle or exploring it on his own.

"You're allowed to stay on your knees by our King's bed." another one of them snarled. "And that should be enough for you, Gotham whore."

"Watch your tone-"

"Or what?" The first one stepped forward, towering over Dick with a nasty grin. "You're not even married to our King yet. What can you do?"

"Nothing." The third one offered lazily with a smirk of his own. "Even after you marry him, there still will be nothing you can do. Wanna know why?"

"Get out of my way." Dick hissed out through clenched teeth.

They stepped away and let him through, cackling loudly behind him even as he forced himself to walk down the hall in calm steps. Arguing with them would be useless and won't change a thing.

“Look at that, he doesn’t wanna know!”

“Oh, I’m sure it’s because he already knows well that he’s nothing more than just our King’s glorified fucktoy!”

Breathe. Breathe, Dick.

He did his best to ignore the way they kept calling after him, yelling insults and names and turned a corner as soon as it was possible. It wasn’t very likely that they’d follow him but Dick still wanted to get as far away from them as he could, as far away as it took to stop hearing them. He disappeared behind the wall with his eyes closed, taking a deep breath and managed to take only a few steps before bumping into someone painfully.

He bounced off a strong chest with force and supported himself with the wall, desperate not to fall to the floor. Not in front another one of them, not after all the talk about him staying on his knees-

“I apologize-” he started, straightening. “I’m-”

His Majesty Slade Wilson stood in front of him, dressed in all his regalia with a sword strapped to his hip. He looked at Dick with a face that betrayed no emotion and suddenly Dick couldn’t utter another word. He could just look his future husband in the eye, with his lips slightly agape and fingers shaking. His chest began to hurt and only then he realized that he stopped breathing.

“Are you hurt?” Slade asked lowly. His voice was tinted with contained anger and Dick violently lowered his head.

“Your Majesty-” Dick said, gasped out the words, but he didn’t know what else to say. Slade heard them. Heard what they said about Dick, still could hear the laughter and comments coming from behind his back.

“That was quite a force you walked into me.” Slade continued. His voice turned more gentle as he reached to cup Dick’s jaw fondly and raise his head for their eyes to meet. “I shouldn’t be standing in the way like that, my prince, I apologize. Are you alright?”

Dick swallowed, throat bobbing nervously. “I’m fine,” he whispered.

Slade nodded.

“Good.” he said, stroking his thumb against the skin of Dick’s cheek. He leaned down to kiss him and Dick… Dick let him, eyes fluttering closed when their lips pressed together. Usually, Dick tried to stop this sort of affections as they weren’t married yet but this time he allowed himself to forget and find comfort in the sensation.

The kiss ended as soon as it began, and Slade stepped away with the last brush of his lips against Dick's temple.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Slade said. His eye burned with anger again as he looked over Dick’s head. “I have a matter to take care of.”

He started towards the source of still-ongoing laughter. To do exactly what, Dick didn’t know, but he knew one thing - that Slade was a man that didn’t shy away from any fight and that he just heard someone insult his fiance.

There was a sword at his hip.

“Please-” Dick started. His voice trembled but it was still enough to make Slade stop. “You don’t have to-”

Slade looked over his shoulder at him. He no longer looked like a man that could softly cradle his face like he did just a moment ago and kiss him so gently he forgot about anything else.

“It’s not your choice to make.” Defiance’s king said. “It was theirs.”

[orcelito]

Wild that anytime I post an update a lot of people read it and are even excited about it and have their own thoughts and reactions to it that I'll never know.

Comments are only the very tip of the iceberg with it. And I am Very grateful to commenters for letting me in on it. But in the same way that I'll be excited with my friends when a fic we love updates, it's likely that Other people enthuse with Their friends when my fic updates. And it's just so strange. An experience I'll never have access to.

Everyone's relationship with my fic is unique. So many different people with so many different circumstances and preferences... and the number of people that have told me that my fic is one of their favorites, some even saying it's their Favorite favorite... every single one of them have their own relationship with my writing.

It's just interesting to me. I think and think and think on my writing. I have my plans for basically the entire fic, the way I want it to end already thought out, all the major plot beats and the relationship progressions, All of that thought out. I love my writing so very much, but I'm on the inside looking out. This is my mechanical horse, and I'm in here laying out the groundwork and pulling levers and constructing limbs, puttering away making the horse move. Forever and always, my relationship with it will be more intimate than anyone's, and yet more clinical. Because I know it better than the back of my own hand, but I'll never have the experience of reading it fresh. Of reading it without knowing everything that's going to happen from now to the end and beyond. I won't have the thrill of the plot twists I have planned, the delight at seeing things progress, the horror at seeing things go wrong...

This is my mechanical horse, and I'm making it move.

I just always wonder what it must be like to see it from the outside. I hope to others that it's a pretty horse.

[formosusiniquis]

I don't trust myself to write Leverage fic, I just don't think I could capture the nuance of everyone. But I think if I did it'd be a road trip fic.

It's sometime in the mid-s2 era. Everyone's kinda gone to ground after either Nate's whole going to prison thing or after Sophie has had to fake her death. Either way Hardison, Parker, and Eliot have lost that stabilizing mentor energy they had previously. Not that the three aren't perfectly capable on their own, but it's a rapid, dramatic, and emotional shift in the dynamic you're used to and you've got to part ways with the people you care the most about in the world.

So after some time passes -- enough that everyone can do what they need to do to be sure that they're safe but not enough time to feel settled to leave the safe house and go home -- someone (Alec, probably with his slightly more average childhood, but maybe Eliot who didn't gave the best childhood but we see these moments of average stability throughout the series) suggests a road trip.

So they gather together: Hardison and Parker and Eliot to reclaim the stability that they've lost. While Nate mourns Sophie, or she rages at Nate. And Hardison and Eliot take Parker to the places she asked about in the Three Days of Hunter job. The places where there are real conspiracies, the places that are really just tourist traps, the places that they decide along the way that they want to break in and see.

And along the way they find the things they needed to so they can go back. The trust, the camaraderie, the joy. Things they hadn't ever really lost with eachother but can be hard to separate from the inside this codependent knot of reclaimed family. And maybe it's a ship fic, maybe it's not, maybe when you fit together the way they do it doesn't matter. Either way by the end they're ready to go home and get back to work.

But mostly it's about Parker getting to see Area 52.