#maturing with the responsibility of her personal power

[xxconnection]

This Lesbian Poem by Akhaji Zakiya from Lisa C Moore's Does Your Mama Know?: An Anthology of Black Lesbian Coming Out Stories

[astrolook]

Degree Theory: Astrology’s Version of Skill Levels (Noobs to Final Bosses) 🎮🌟

You already know your Sun sign, but did you know the degree number it’s at can unlock even more secrets about you? 🤯

Every planet in your birth chart sits at a specific degree (0°-29°), and these numbers add an extra layer of meaning to your personality, strengths, and even life lessons.

Let’s break it down planet by planet—with a fun, no-BS take.

0° – The Cosmic Newborn 👶

"I’m here to start something big."

Planets at 0° act like fresh energy—pure, unfiltered, and ready to shake things up. People with 0° placements feel like pioneers, as if the universe dropped them off and said, "Figure it out!"

🔹 Sun at 0°: You radiate raw, unfiltered main character energy. You’re not here to follow—you're here to lead (or at least dramatically exist).

🔹 Moon at 0°: Your emotions are pure instinct—you don’t just feel things, you ARE the feeling. Mood swings? Nah, mood rollercoasters.

🔹 Mercury at 0°: Words just spill out, whether they make sense or not. Genius or chaotic chatterbox—depends on the day.

🔹 Venus at 0°: You love like a Disney princess—pure, big, dramatic. Also, zero poker face when you’re into someone.

🔹 Mars at 0°: Immediate action. No waiting, no thinking, just punching the gas (and sometimes people).

🔹 Jupiter at 0°: The lucky golden retriever of astrology. You say yes to everything, and somehow life rewards you for it.

🔹 Saturn at 0°: Born responsible. You came out of the womb stressed about taxes.

🔹 Uranus at 0°: You’re the definition of unpredictable. Even you don’t know what you’ll do next.

🔹 Neptune at 0°: You live in your own fantasy world, and reality is just a suggestion.

🔹 Pluto at 0°: Intensity level? Maximum. You were born with a “destroy and rebuild” button.

1°-9° – The Rising Star 🌟

"I’m developing my power."

Planets at early degrees feel like fresh talent in training—raw, ambitious, and figuring things out.

🔹 Sun at 5°: You’re the rising star in your social circle. Humble beginnings, but just wait—you're gonna shine.

🔹 Moon at 3°: Emotional development in progress. You’re learning what feels right and what just feels…ick.

🔹 Mercury at 7°: Brain-to-mouth filter? Still buffering. But your ideas? Gold.

🔹 Venus at 2°: Love is cute, fun, flirty—until you catch feelings, then it’s panic mode.

🔹 Mars at 8°: Your drive is explosive, but figuring out when to stop is the real challenge.

🔹 Jupiter at 6°: Luck works in your favor when you’re brave enough to take risks.

🔹 Saturn at 9°: Learning responsibility early in life, but still finding that work-hard-play-hard balance.

🔹 Uranus at 4°: Experimenting with your rebellious streak, but not fully committing (yet).

🔹 Neptune at 1°: A dreamer who’s just waking up to their spiritual and creative potential.

🔹 Pluto at 5°: Transformation is happening, but it’s not at full power (yet).

10°-19° – The Master of the Craft 🎓

"I know exactly what I’m doing."

Middle-degree planets are strong, balanced, and naturally expressed—not too raw, not too extreme.

🔹 Sun at 15°: Peak confidence. You own your personality like it’s patented.

🔹 Moon at 12°: Emotionally balanced—until someone messes with your peace. Then it’s war.

🔹 Mercury at 18°: Quick wit, great communicator, could talk their way out of a crime.

🔹 Venus at 14°: Aesthetic queen/king. Your love life and your fashion sense? Both on point.

🔹 Mars at 17°: Strategic AF. You know when to strike and when to chill—warrior with a plan.

🔹 Jupiter at 11°: Wise and lucky. Life is a game and you’ve got the cheat codes.

🔹 Saturn at 19°: The mature friend who somehow also enjoys chaos. You handle responsibility like a pro.

🔹 Uranus at 16°: Balanced rebel. Knows when to push boundaries and when to play along.

🔹 Neptune at 10°: Dreams are just clear enough to bring to reality. Manifesting pro.

🔹 Pluto at 13°: Power? Controlled but always present. You scare people (in a good way).

20°-28° – The Old Soul 🦉

"I’ve seen it all, and I’m here to finish the job."

Late-degree planets are intense, wise, and powerful—but also impatient because they’ve been through it all.

🔹 Sun at 25°: You’re a boss, period. No time for games, just legacy-building.

🔹 Moon at 22°: Emotionally deep AF. You KNOW things before people even open their mouths.

🔹 Mercury at 28°: Talks like a professor and a stand-up comedian at the same time.

🔹 Venus at 26°: Love is serious business. No casual dating, just intense connections.

🔹 Mars at 21°: Unstoppable force. You’ve already mastered action—now you’re here to win.

🔹 Jupiter at 23°: Wise beyond your years. You’ve learned all the lessons and now you’re the teacher.

🔹 Saturn at 27°: Life has tested you more than most, but you wear your scars like armor.

🔹 Uranus at 28°: Fully awakened rebel. You break all the rules, but somehow succeed anyway.

🔹 Neptune at 24°: Master manifestor. You make the impossible seem normal.

🔹 Pluto at 27°: Your power is legendary. You were born to make generational changes.

29° – The Fated Degree 🔥 (Final Boss Level of Astrology)

"This energy is my final test."

29° is called the "Anaretic Degree," aka the boss battle of astrology. It’s like cramming for a final exam—the universe is making sure you’ve truly mastered this planetary energy. If you have a planet here, there’s often urgency, intensity, and a feeling of fate around that area of life.

🔹 Sun at 29°: Walking powerhouse. You’ve learned all there is about your identity, and now it’s your final test to own it. Spotlight finds you whether you want it or not.

🔹 Moon at 29°: Emotional sage. You’ve felt it all, been through emotional hell and back, and now your intuition is on god-tier mode. But emotions can feel overwhelming, like you're carrying generations of feelings.

🔹 Mercury at 29°: Brilliant but exhausted mind. Your thoughts race at 5G speed, but decision-making is HARD because you see all the options. Overthinking is your enemy.

🔹 Venus at 29°: Love and beauty master. You’ve seen every possible romantic situation—loyalty, betrayal, passion, heartbreak. Now, love feels fated and no casual flings will do.

🔹 Mars at 29°: The warrior with no off switch. You’ve been in SO many battles (literal or metaphorical) that your go-to reaction is "fight first, think later." But the lesson? Not every war is worth it.

🔹 Jupiter at 29°: Lucky but reckless. You know how to take risks and make big moves, but sometimes it’s too much, too fast. Learning when to pull back is key.

🔹 Saturn at 29°: The old soul who’s been through the wringer. You’ve mastered responsibility, but you might feel like you’ve been an adult since age 5. Final test? Balancing hard work with actual joy.

🔹 Uranus at 29°: Rebel genius. You’ve already mastered breaking rules, revolutionizing ideas, and making history. Now? You need to use that power responsibly.

🔹 Neptune at 29°: Spiritual visionary. You’ve seen through the illusion, lived in your dreams, and touched the mystical. Now, the challenge is staying grounded in reality while keeping the magic alive.

🔹 Pluto at 29°: Transformation overload. You were born into powerful, life-changing experiences. Intensity follows you like a shadow, but your final test is learning to control the fire instead of letting it consume you.

So, What’s Your Degree Number? 🤔

Want to know what your planet’s degrees say about you? Message me for a personalized astrology reading and take a look at my pinned post as well! 🔮✨

Karmic Paths & Soul Purpose: A Complete Guide to the North Nodes & South Nodes in Astrology (13-page report) - $5

Get my full PDF guide for just $5! Payment via PayPal. Once payment is confirmed, I will send you the PDF. It covers North Node & South Node in signs & houses, who you were in your past life, your career, family, love and your relationships in detail. Message me to grab your copy! 🌟

Note : Due to different time zones, I might not reply immediately. Don't worry! Leave me your email address for me to send the password-protected PDF file. Once the payment is confirmed, I will give you the password to access to it.

[4mrplumi]

It would be interesting to see more of your thoughts on Luka!reader just to give us scraps

ALSO! I love your crow choir and scavenger works

🎼 hehe, sure thing, and thank you :3 here are a few notes i'd made over after and before weige!! (sorry for the late reply, had a few tests!)

pre-stage public view

⋆. luka!reader's very charming. the batfamily's public personas are really a civillian identity to fall back on outside of vigilantism, but because luka!reader is not a vigilante, this is their life.

⋆. there are points at which when bruce doesn't come to galas, luka!reader shows up in his place. after a point, their invitations are seperate from bruce's.

⋆. luka!reader has their own little social circle, fairly friendly and responsible for keeping relations between wayne industries and other companies more passive than they would've been otherwise.

⋆. not that bruce wayne knows of your efforts.

⋆. where the head of the wayne household is described as a playboy, with curling words and charm luka!reader is a bit more reserved. softer smiles, complacent demeanor, often more agreeable.

⋆. definitely has fans. i mean, with their reputation as a famous child star - to - wayne family member, it's expected people are interested in their story. after numerous cover-ups and made up stories by bruce in the early days, these interests from the media are quelled, but it doesn't stop people from being fans.

⋆. how is the wayne family treated by the media? i mean, they're famous because of wayne industries, but treated a lot like movie celebrities. i imagine that's specially a case for luka!reader too.

⋆. very few drama articles on them, excluding sightings with people that are morphed into rumors. the type of person even someone's grandma really likes to see on tv!

⋆. overall, people are pretty fond of luka!reader. among both business partners, the media, and gotham's non-criminal civilian population. close to the point where (name)updates79 made a youtube conspiracy theory video on how you're "the scarecrow but nice, hypnotic powers to make people like you".

⋆. (they had to take the video down and apologise, insisting they were so obviously a fan too and didn't mean it in a bad way. of course you're not using powers to make people like you, that's dumb and negligent of your efforts over the years.)

⋆. (this becomes a running joke after the initial faux "drama" is over, like the cyclops os batman's mentor thing here.)

pre-stage private view

⋆. you make them uneasy, full stop.

⋆. there's not much you have in common with your family, lacking both the spurn for dressing up and fighting at night, and the hyper-intelligence to help make suits or coordinate their movements.

⋆. after joining the wayne family, you weren't really ever made aware of their activities. you found out only after cassandra cain came into the picture, dully connecting the dots after glancing over her behavior with the others, slowly.

⋆. yeah, it was a surprise, but you don't much care do you?

⋆. rich people must get real bored when they can do just about anything else they want to do.

⋆. at home, your behavior is much different. you don't talk much at all, incredibly quiet and expressionless. when you do have to interact with them, there's no hostility or harshness in your tone, but there's a very low undercurrent of this unamused dryness in your voice.

⋆. it makes them uneasy, maybe offended, maybe just dismissive alltogether. you don't know what they think, you don't know them at all.

⋆. other than financial support and the initial work bruce put into making sure your transfer to the wayne manor went uninvestigated, you don't have any support to fall onto.

⋆. one could argue you're emotionally stunted, but that's not really the case. you are observant, managing to put yourself in other people's shoes without any internal bias at all. an empath? maybe.

⋆. this maturity helps you build up the blocks to your social status, using the hints from peoples' mannerisms to weave through conversations in a way you know will make you more favourable.

⋆. never to say you didn't try to be a part of their family, but you know you barely are.

⋆. luka!reader's taken into the family before jason, about a year older than him too. the whole parenting stunt was new to bruce, but he did try, you want to think. you were just not perfect enough. if you're better, he'll notice you.

⋆. luka!reader is capable of identifying other people's flaws, the emotional drive behind actions and how they'd solve it if they were in that person's shoes. but they can rarely manage themselves, despite the calm image they present.

⋆. when you were younger, you tried to communicate with bruce, your new father, and your older brother richard, but they always seemed busy or perturbed. you didn't know about their vigilante duties or how fame up here worked. you'd assumed you were doing something wrong, and like with your old dad, tried to rectify your mistakes.

⋆. it sent you into a small spiral. you were so young, lost, lonely, homesick and confused. where you should've gotten consolation and guidance to fit into an actual society, you were instead left out and dismissed.

⋆. socially incapable? very. dick tried to be welcoming, but he was just so unsure of what to do with your blank stare and awkward conversations, he slowly drifted away. bruce was stiff altogether, sending you off to your room when you went to him, busy.

⋆. there is a measure for perfection, is what your old father had told you, and it was your duty to meet it. if the people in your family don't support your pursuit, then they are incompetent and upsettingly unaware of their limits.

⋆. pushing away years of bitterness and unsourced grief at how lonely you are, you redirect your focus. you already had a life planned out for you then, why can't you pursue it now?

⋆. they won't notice. they don't know a thing about perfection.

post-stage private

⋆. on one end, the family's incredibly overcome with guilt for not even noticing where you were, and on the other; they're entirely horrified by your willing presence there.

⋆. three different views are made clear: walking on eggshells (cassandra, jason), trying to get closer to you (dick, duke) trying to figure you out (tim, damian and barbara). and then there's bruce, the ever persistent multitasker in him trying to do everything at once. you catch onto their efforts pretty easily, only scoffing and retreating into your room when they get too irritating.

⋆. it's almost worse than your situation before, they're still incapable of understanding your intentions and you as a person, but much more clingy and watchful. it's a bit suffocating, and you try to shoo them off by indulging them just enough to satisfy their curiosity.

⋆. unlucky for you, the family sees that as developments in your relationship with them. a little more intrusive each time, including you wherever they can.

⋆. it's a messed up mix of genuine concern and care, with suspicion and supervision very sneakily mixed in. you don't miss it.

⋆. behavior wise, there's a new sharpness to your personality that wasn't there before. a little haunted, lost and child-like, but most importantly, infuriated. they can't put their finger on it, so it must've been a result of the things you went through in the stage.

⋆. yeah, must be.

a/n: luka!reader is a little similar to scavenger!reader in some ways, the second is just way more personally motivated and mean. i one day want to expand on other alien stage readers / other fandom readers but i'm slow on that right now. feel free to send it asks and ideas ♡ ♡

thank you for reading!!

[secularprolifeconspectus]

Quick Pro-Life Responses

Keep in mind: the fundamental disagreement between pro-life and pro-choice is on whether a fetus is being formed into a person, or if the fetus is already a person and is simply developing.

Confidently assert, “you say that because you think a fetus is not a person yet.”

They may concede fetuses are people in word, but still not conceptualize them as full people worthy of equal consideration.

“I have the right to bodily autonomy.”

Abortion is literally suffocation, poisoning, or dismemberment of a living human organism.

Abortion induces fetal demise by depriving a human of oxygen, blood, or vital function.

Bodily autonomy does not justify abuse of power and excessive force over a helpless person.

Abortion, a disproportionately brutal response to a passive threat, is aggressive violence.

“No one has the right to use my body.”

Correct. But, a prenatal person does not use a pregnant person’s body. They have no agency.

A pregnant person’s body takes care of the prenate. This care is ordinary and healthy.

Abortion is not like refusing care to a dying person, it is like murdering a healthy captive.

No one has the right to murder someone who they caused to be dependent on them.

“I have the right to revoke my consent.”

When you give consent, you agree to accept the foreseeable outcomes and risks of an action.

The creation of a bodily dependent is a foreseeable outcome of consensual intercourse.

You cannot revoke consent to outcomes. You can revoke consent to actions.

You may not violently sacrifice a helpless person to “mitigate” a risk of a consensual action.

“Anything dependent on my body is a parasite.”

If you make parasites, then you’re a parasite; it’s misogynist to suggest women are parasites.

The female body would not actively try to make pregnancy happen if it were parasitic.

Prenates never directly cause pregnant people harm; they are not aggressors or parasites.

Using developmental dependency to justify murder is simultaneously ageist and ableist.

“An embryo is just a clump of cells.”

Human embryos meet NASA’s criteria for the characteristics of distinct living organisms.

Human embryos are self-directed and their development follows a body plan.

Human embryos are organized and individual. They already have inherited capacities.

Tumors and gametes do not follow an organized body plan.

“Early humans have no cognitive capacities.”

By week 3, the embryo has a spine and is developing a nervous system.

By week 5, the embryo has a rudimentary brain that controls their pulse.

By week 8, the embryo has pain reflexes and can move their limbs.

It’s incredibly ableist to use the cognitive inabilities of a human being to justify their murder.

“If a fetus is a person, so is a brain-dead human.”

A brain-dead human is, obviously, dead. It’s an oxygenated corpse, the remains of a person.

Death occurs when human organisms stop resisting entropy and lose organic integration.

Preborn people actively resist entropy (decay) and have organic integration (unity).

An early human organism isn’t dependent on a mature brain to organize her vital functioning.

“Later abortions only happen for medical reasons.”

According to two studies by pro-abortion researcher at UCSF Katrina Kimport, this is untrue.

Kimport’s studies found that the reasons for later abortions are similar to early abortions.

Later abortions aren’t euthanasia; infants are stabbed with lethal injections and dismembered.

Perinatal hospice and palliative care relieve suffering. Dying babies deserve love, not murder.

“What about rape and incest?”

Abortion is not evidence-based treatment for sexual trauma. Abortion is traumatic as well.

A preborn child should not be condemned to the death penalty for their father’s crime.

It is safe for most menstruating children to carry pregnancies to viability with sufficient prenatal care.

Children conceived in incest are likely to have disabilities; that’s not reason to murder them.

“What about health of the mother?”

Every abortion ban in the US has exceptions for if the mother’s life or body is in grave danger.

We are not against tragic cases of triage. We are against elective induced abortion.

Some procedures coded medically as abortions aren’t legally or ethically defined as abortions.

Pro-life doctors report that the bans have not impeded their ability to treat their patients.

Your Core Arguments

There is no sound evidence or consistent logic that proves the preborn are the only class of human beings exceptional to the rule that humans are people with equal rights.

If a being is in the dynamic process of bonding with us as kin, then that being is a whole actual person by the manner of actively and inherently relating to our collective humanity.

Embryonic humans are full and equal people like us because they latently embody our same capacities and are manifesting them as we are, on account of sharing our nature.

[vigilante-3073]

Harm

Edward Cullen x Female Reader (Platonic)

Summary: Y/N has always had issues with physical contact and Edward never understood why until an accidental touch brings up unpleasant memories for her.

TW: Mentions of sexual assault, death and molestation, angst.

*Contains mature themes that could be triggering*

Y/N had always had an issue when it came to physical contact, she would shift away like any kind of unexpected touch made her squeamish. Edward had never questioned it, simply assuming that it had been a matter of personal preference. Physical contact had never been a big factor in their friendship and Edward found it easy to respect her boundaries.

Most people were willing to accept her dislike of physical touch, but there would always be people who didn't understand or respect her wishes.

They were walking down the hallway talking about their biology assignment when Emmett ran up behind Y/N and grabbed her waist. She let out a panicked scream as memories began to race through her mind. The memories were so powerful that Edward couldn't keep himself from hearing them.

"Here, munchkin, I got you a toy, but you can only have it if you promise not to tell anyone about our little game," The man said to a 5-year-old Y/N.

The sound of a belt buckle clinking and a sudden unyielding feeling of fear overcame everything.

"Such a good little girl," The man said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear before leaving her bedroom.

The memories continued to fly by, each one more unpleasant than the last. It was years of torture, fear and abuse. Her emotions were overwhelming as the memories began to resurface, like a festering wound that never healed.

Emmett set her down on her feet and she immediately broke free of his hold, running down the hallway and into the girl's bathroom.

"The hell was that about?" Emmett asked.

Edward shook his head before quickly following after her. He pushed aside his discomfort and made his way into the women's restroom. Edward moved over to the stall where Y/N had fallen to her knees, coughing and retching as she threw up.

Edward held her hair back, providing silent comfort as she continued to get sick. The memories obviously weighed heavily enough on her to produce such a visceral response.

She finished getting sick before slowly shifting onto her butt, leaning back against the wall of the bathroom stall. Tears rolled down her cheeks as Edward reached past her and flushed the toilet. He stepped away and wet some paper towel for her before returning to her side.

He held out the paper towel to her and she took it silently, wiping her mouth. Edward watched her, listening to her erratic heartbeat as it began to return to normal.

"Who was it?" Edward asked, she gulped, "My uncle," Y/N admitted softly.

"How long?" Edward asked.

"Until I was twelve," She stated.

"Where is he now?" Edward questioned.

Y/N shrugged, "I don't know," She said, toying with the paper towel in her hands.

"Did you ever tell anyone?" Edward asked.

She shook her head, "No, I was-I was scared and I just- I felt like it was my fault," Y/N said shakily, more tears gathering in her eyes.

"You were a child," Edward said, kneeling down beside her.

Y/N scoffed, "I could have said something but I didn't... I thought that no one would believe me," Y/N said, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

"I'm sorry that you felt like you were alone in that, Y/N. No one should have to go through that," Edward said.

Touch had become an evil thing for her. That man, that family member, had taken her choice away and robbed her of her innocence. Y/N was just a child when he took advantage of her and it went on for years before she was able to escape him.

Y/N was abused and manipulated into thinking that no one would believe her. She endured years of pain and lived in a state of constant fear of this man who was supposed to be someone she could rely on.

He was family.

...

Edward took some time away from school after that day. He told Y/N that he was going to see his cousins, but he wasn't going to Alaska. Edward went to Y/N's hometown and found her uncle stumbling drunkenly out of a bar.

The stench of alcohol permeated the man's entire being as he staggered over to his truck. He fumbled for his keys in his pocket, dropping them down onto the pavement with a mumbled curse. The man bent down to pick them up and Edward had appeared in front of him when he straightened up.

"The hell do you want, kid?" The man asked.

"I'm a friend of Y/N's," Edward said.

"Oh, wow, I haven't seen her in years," The man chuckled.

"You mean that you haven't assaulted her in years?" Edward questioned, eerily calm.

The man scoffed, "Now, I don't know what she told you-," He started.

Edward didn't allow him to finish, grabbing onto his throat and slamming him back against the side of his vehicle. The metal caved in from the force, knocking the wind out of the man.

"I know all about what you did to her and you deserve to endure a lifetime of suffering for it," Edward growled, leaning closer to him and tightening his hold around the man's neck.

He sputtered, hands shoving desperately at Edward's chest to try and push him away.

Edward felt like an avenging angel in this moment, choking the life out of such a vile man. It brought him comfort to know that he would be removing a very evil person from the world.

Edward leaned in and bit into the side of the man's neck, shredding the arteries and spilling his blood in the parking lot brutally.

He pulled away, watching the life drain from the man's face, "You will never hurt her or anyone else ever again," Edward said before letting him go.

He watched the man's body slide down to the ground, gasping and gurgling on his own blood as he died. This man was a predator and he finally knew what it felt like to become the prey.

...

Edward returned to Forks a day later with red eyes, Carlisle knew what he had left to accomplish and chose not to acknowledge it. Even Carlisle had to allow him leniency in this case, violence was never the answer until it was the only answer available.

That man was sick and he deserved to suffer for what he had done to such a kind person, a child nonetheless. He could not be saved or changed and the world would be a better place without him in it.

Edward never told Y/N about what he had done that day, but he would never forget the day her mother had told her the news. They thought it was an animal attack, her mother called it 'gruesome' and 'awful.' She had said that the animal responsible hadn't been located, but assured Y/N that they were searching for it.

Edward watched the look of recognition cross Y/N's face before her glossy eyes slowly came to focus on him. She hung up the phone, dropping it down on her bed.

"What happened?" Edward asked.

"My uncle is dead... They said it was an animal attack," Y/N said.

"Seems to be happening a lot lately," Edward stated.

Y/N stepped over to him, sliding her arms around him and pressing herself against his chest. Edward slowly wrapped his arms around her, holding her gently.

"Thank you," She mumbled, a few warm tears soaking into his shirt.

"You're welcome," Edward said.

She let out a soft breath before her body began to shake with sobs. Y/N cried until she had nothing left in her, standing silently with her head on his chest and her arms wrapped tightly around him.

His shirt had been saturated with her tears and he could feel her beginning to shiver from the ice cold temperature of his body. Edward wanted to get her a blanket or a warm cup of tea, but he knew that she needed this. She needed to hold onto him and feel safe.

Edward had protected her more than anyone else had and Y/N finally allowed herself to enjoy the touch of another person. Y/N would never have to live in fear of that man again and maybe she would eventually be able to tell her family about what he did to her. And if she didn't, her secret would rot in the ground with her abuser.

[hisui-dreamer]

we are one

Characters: Trey, Ruggie, Rook, Sebek

Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?

Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions

Word count: 4.5k+

Notes: im sorry this took so long lol, but part 4 is finally here!!

Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 3✧Masterlist

A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.

Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.

On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—

Shizuka (靜菓) with 静 meaning "quiet, still, calm" and 菓 meaning "confectionery, sweets, pastry"

your daughter had silky green hair the colour of fresh matcha and golden yellow eyes that were reminiscent of fresh honey

you named your daughter after her father's dislike of noise and his culinary abilities that never failed to amaze the whole of Heartslabyul

she's rather a quiet child, not very loud but too quiet either

she gets along with other kids perfectly fine, and she doesn't mind sharing or taking a step back at all, always choosing to go with the flow and not get worked up over small things

honestly she's really a mature kid

also just really good at being a peacekeeper and stopping other kids from getting into big fights

buut she does have a mischievous side and may tease her friends when she's in the mood to

at home, she's pretty obedient and will listen to you, but there are moments when she sneaks around

loves helping you with cooking, and her eyes sparkle when she's baking with you

she loves sweets and desserts, but thanks to your warnings about her dental health, she does stop herself from eating too much sugar

is slightly freaked out about cavities so don't you worry, she'll never need any reminding about brushing her teeth or late night snacks

when it comes to school, she doesn't put in too much effort, but you can tell she'd be excellent if she cared more about her grades

which is clearly shown when fixates on learning magic, always so focused that you'll have to call her twice before she snaps out of her trance

you can't blame her for giving it her all though, after all, you've never seen her more excited than when you told her how amazing a person her father is, calm and soothing like a gentle summer rain

once she puts her heart to it, there's really no stopping her

so on another normal evening, as you were cooking dinner while she was studying on the kitchen counter, you found yourself enveloped by a soft light

when you open your eyes, you find yourself standing outside a charming bakery, the fragrance of roses engulfing your senses

and peering through the bakery windows, was the man you had yearned for all these years

It was just a normal day of running the bakery for Trey. With the sun on the verge of setting, he began preparations for closing, when the soft chime of the bell announced a new customer's arrival. He turned around, catching sight of you. His eyes widened in surprise, mirroring the disbelief in your own.

Before words could be exchanged, Trey rushed past the counter. The warmth of his embrace enveloped you as he pulled you close. The years melted away, and the two of you were transported back to a time when you always had each other.

"Is this real?" he wondered aloud, your hearts pounding in sync.

You nodded into his shoulder, tears flowing freely down your cheeks. He pulled back slightly, brushing away your tears as his gaze softened, a warm smile gracing his lips.

"It's been a long time," he whispered. "I missed you so much."

he's just holding you tight, crying as he thanks the heavens for being so lucky to have you in his life again

trey returned to his hometown after graduation, helping out and eventually inheriting the family bakery

he loved incorporating your favourite foods into the store's selection, adding some new desserts from your world that you taught him, and always reminiscing on those tender moments when it was just the two of you in the kitchen

he always knew you had to go home eventually, but that didn't stop him from wishing you could be his life-long partner, supporting each other through thick and thin

so he's beyond grateful and excited to know you and his daughter(?!) shared the feelings even though you were apart

he's rather surprised about said daughter, but there would be no denying how similar they looked

shizuka is a bit nervous, tugging your skirt as she stares curiously at her supposed father

but Trey very quickly makes her feel at home, his warm smiles and even warmer hugs melting away all her nervousness!

he closes the bakery for a few days to help the two of you settle down a bit

this involves reunions with friends and of course, the clover family, who welcome you and their granddaughter with open arms

the clovers are just really really glad their son finally has someone in his life and that he seems a lot more energised now

Shizuka is very quickly introduced to uncle riddle!! who is very surprised but delighted by the behaving little girl who seems to stick to him a lot

uncle deuce and ace also get along with her wonderfully!! especially when Shizuka wants to play around with riddle for a bit hahaha

don't forget uncle cater who flies instantly to meet his new adorable niece and show her off on magicam!!

the three of you settle into a nice rhythm and you help out trey at the bakery now

Trey is very very affectionate with you always, pecking you on the cheek or nuzzling into your neck any chance he can get

Shizuka loves helping out whenever she can too!! she loves learning from her papa and sometimes will just spend hours watching him work

all in all, a blissful, simple family that Trey had always dreamed of, but never would he have believed he was so blessed to have the two of you come back to him

Trey gazed at the young girl, her silky green hair catching the light in a way that seemed surreal. With a heart full of emotions, he approached her hesitantly, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.

"Shizuka, was it?" he spoke softly, the name lingering on his lips like a prayer. "It's so nice to meet you."

Shizuka's gaze flickered from Trey to you, seeking reassurance. With a gentle nod from you, she turned her attention back to him, her eyes studying him intently.

Trey knelt to her level, his heart racing. "I know this might be a lot to take in, but I'm your father."

She took a small step forward, cautious but curious. Trey extended his hand tentatively, offering a warm smile. Without a word, Shizuka reached out, placing her small hand in his.

A soft smile graced her lips, mirroring the warmth reflected in Trey's eyes. With a tentative but genuine embrace, Trey enveloped his daughter in his arms, tears cascading down his cheeks. Shizuka, feeling the sincerity in his embrace, wrapped her arms around him as well, a sense of belonging beginning to bloom within her.

Kenji (賢至) with 賢 meaning "intelligence, wisdom, cleverness" and 至 meaning "to arrive at, to reach, to come to"

Kenji (賢至) with 賢 meaning "intelligence, wisdom, cleverness" and 至 meaning "to arrive at, to reach, to come to"

your son had the softest hair the colour of wheat, and blue eyes that reminded you of cloudy skies

you named your son after how clever his father was, and his endless determination to reach his goals

he's a really sweet kid, always eager to help around and even others when he notices they're in need

you've heard about the many experiences his father had when he grew up, so you've tried your hardest to make sure Kenji wouldn't have to go through them, knowing it's what your hyena would've wanted

but even then, he's never complained about not having enough, there's a subtle wisdom to him that really mirrors his father

though he differs from him in that he's always willing to share, because he knows not everyone can be so lucky

he may not be too good at haggling prices, but his puppy dog eyes work just as well!

he loves doing chores with you, always smiling and laughing that familiar laugh as he helps you sweep the floor while he tells you about his day

he loves cuddles and kisses!!! his favourite part of the day is climbing into your warm bed to wrap his arms around you, asking you for a goodnight kiss and sometimes even bedtime stories

his ears and tails are a bit of a problem, so you keep his hair a bit long to hide the ears, or just say they're fun accessories

you've told him how his father's determination to support his family and community shined through even in unfortunate circumstances, the resourceful and intelligent man he became and you fell in love with

his blue-grey eyes almost resembled a clear sky when he listened to you, asking you more and more questions about this amazing person

he'll try learning more to be like him, but his kind nature stops him from being too schemey

he's not exactly academic weapon material, but he's pretty quick at absorbing information and putting it into practice

and with lots of determination and practice, he somehow manages to manifest the very thing the two of you wanted, and before your eyes was the man who never failed to make you laugh with him

As Ruggie's eyes adjusted, your figure slowly came into focus, revealing the very person who took his heart with them. "Prefect...?" He whispered, his voice a mix of disbelief and overwhelming joy.

His usually carefree expression shifted to one of disbelief, and then a bittersweet smile spread across his face as the tears welled up in his eyes. Without a second thought, he rushed towards you, sweeping you into a tight embrace.

"You're here... You're really here, right?" Ruggie mumbled, his voice choked with emotion.

You nodded furiously, comfort washing over you at his touch. "Yes, Ruggie, it's real. I'm really here."

His hand reached up to thread his fingers through your hair, cupping the back of your head. "I'm so glad... So, so glad..."

he's holding onto you as tightly as he can, so afraid that you'd disappear into the light if he let you loose for even a bit

after graduation, Ruggie followed leona to become his official attendant, what with him knowing how leona likes to get things done, and his ability to pick up etiquette cues

he's also a great information gatherer, so he's perfectly able to assist leona with his foreign affairs

it's leona's voice that finally breaks the two of you out of your trance, him rushing over to investigate that weird light

the two of you pull back and you almost wouldn't notice it, but leona's smile has softened a bit from the image you had in your memory

Ruggie never expected himself to be a father, and things are going a bit faster than he'd like, but there's no denying he's absolutely grateful to have you and your kid at his side

almost immediately the next day, he takes you back to his hometown so you and Kenji can meet grandma and the neighbourhood

grandma bucchi welcomes the two of you so warmly, she even gets a little teary eyed when she sees Kenji, with him looking so similar to the very hyena she raised

leona and Ruggie delegate a room for you in the side palace, where they also live, so you'll be able to see familiar faces often

Kenji loves following his father around, picking up his mannerisms and wanting to learn more about being more schemey

Ruggie's a bit conflicted his angel of a son wants to learn his ways but even he can't deny those puppy dog eyes

uncle leona and guard jack also love spending time with him! though one of them pretends it's annoying

leona shows him magic tricks and jack will teach him how to fight! he'll be getting great lessons all around

Kenji is very eager to learn more and explore this world, so sometimes you'll have to hold him back a bit just in case he gets hurt

but you suppose with the splendid man his father is, you don't have to worry too much

Ruggie's schedule can be a bit hectic and he pulls a lot of late nights, but he always tries to make time for his family

they're the most precious thing to him in the entire world, did you think he'd let them go that easily?

"Dad!" Kenji exclaimed, darting over to grasp at the fabric of Ruggie's pants. "You're my dad, right?"

Ruggie blinked in disbelief, shifting his gaze towards you. "Is... Is he?" he asked, hope saturating his voice.

You affirmed with a nod, and Ruggie redirected his attention to Kenji. "Yeah... I'm your dad..."

Instantly, Kenji wrapped his arms around Ruggie's legs. "Yay! I've always wanted to meet you, Dad!"

Ruggie couldn't help but marvel in awe at the bundle of joy now clinging to his legs, realizing that this spirited kid was the product of your love.

Ayaka (��佳) with 斐 meaning "elegance, beauty, grace" and 華 meaning "flower, splendour, brilliance"　

Ayato (斐斗) with 斐 meaning "elegance, beauty, grace" and 杜 meaning "forest, grove, woods"

maybe a part of you should have expected it, with how unpredictable your beloved hunter always has been, but you ended up having to raise twins

the two had luscious golden locks that rivalled sunlight and sharp green eyes akin to the forests in the summer

you named the two of them after their father's love for all things beauty and his love for forests and nature

the two are well-behaved children, though they can be surprisingly sneaky and mischievous

Ayaka is more outgoing and is always fascinated by the pretty things in her vicinity

while Ayato is more introverted and quiet, often silently following his younger sister and nodding along to her ramblings

he definitely appreciates beauty, but he's less vocal about it

and whereas Ayaka is more fascinated by gems and cute plushies, Ayato is more interested in nature, finding beauty in the moss, the trees and the insects

the siblings are just really really curious about the world and they love observing the little details, from catching beetles to keep as pets, to planting flowers they found on a hike

they really do reflect your hunter's wide range of appreciation

the twins love sticking to each other and they're rarely arguing

though they do fight a bit over who helped you more with chores or who you love more

they're very helpful and efficient, and though they may complain about not wanting to work because the other twin is lazing, they'll still get the job done

they love watching tv shows and dramas, often acting out scenes in the shows or in fairytales

and oh the way their eyes sparkled when you told the fascinating man their father was, a man who could control his own heartbeat, keep track of time so accurately, and with such incredible eyesight, who devoted himself to spreading joy and beauty

almost immediately they doubled their efforts in studying, wanting desperately to meet the man to learn his ways and see for themselves just how interesting he is

and just like that, the dazzling light gradually subsided, unveiling a world that you thought only existed in your dreams

you remember the villa, it's where he took you on vacation for the first, and supposedly last time

You hesitantly knocked on the weathered wooden door of the villa, the echoes of your anticipation mingling with the rustle of leaves in the gentle breeze. As the door creaked open, memories flooded back to the first time you entered this place with the man who had captured your heart.

Rook's usual stoic expression shifted, replaced by a mix of surprise and unspoken emotions. "Mon amour... You're really here," he murmured, his voice a tender whisper that hung in the air. Without uttering a single word, he enfolded you in an embrace, as though afraid you might slip away like a fleeting dream.

"I missed you so much," you whispered back the tears flowing freely now that you've felt as you savour the warmth of his touch and the comforting scent of his cologne.

He pulled back, soft brushes of his fingers wiping your tears, his eyes lingering on your face as if trying to capture the essence of the time that had passed. "I missed you too, so dearly..." he admitted as tears threatened to spill from his eyes, a rare vulnerability in his gaze.

this was the most emotion you'd seen from him, even when you said goodbye he kept a smile on his face

he's holding you so delicately, as if you were going to fade away if he applied just a bit more pressure

he's surprised by the children, but he instantly warms up to the idea!

he's remained a pursuer of beauty even after graduation, sponsoring artists while he makes a living through hunting and his film critique

he was taking a break in the family villa for old times sake, but it's almost as if the universe planned it all along

he's very affectionate with you, even more so than before, which you didn't even know was possible

always a warm hand on your waist, an occasional peck on your cheek, and every once in a while he'll feel the urge to pull you in for a hug

he tries to do everything for you so you don't even have to lift a finger, breakfast in bed, waking the children, even cooking and cleaning

he loves spending time with the twins!! teaching the two of them how to hunt and explore the forest safely

he'll show them pretty plants, and interesting fungi, all while explaining what properties they might have and whether or not they're poisonous

the twins are so fascinated by everything, their excitement and energy are seemingly endless

and who's a father to deny his children? he spoils them rotten

he also loves showing the kids a certain idol he's supported...

as well as films of vil!! occasionally talking over the movie to express how perfect a scene is or how flawless his acting is

and when the twins get to meet the vil schoenheit, they're beyond thrilled

asking questions, throwing compliments, all directed towards vil, but they're quiet the moment he tells them to shush

uncle vil loves talking to his niece and nephew, but only when they're... calm

uncle epel also loves popping by and giving the twins some apples so they'll get proper nutrition!

really, you'll have to step in to prevent your kids from being spoiled rotten

but you'll indulge Rook for a while, he's just blissfully happy with his family after all

"Are these...?" he began, his voice trailing off as he looked at the children with a mix of awe and wonder.

"Ours," you answered, a gentle smile gracing your lips as you delicately wiped away the tears that had welled up in your eyes. "Meet Ayato and Ayaka."

The hunter knelt down to their eye level, his usual face softening into a loving. "Ayato, Ayaka," he said, his voice gentle, "It's so nice to meet you. I'm your father."

The children exchanged glances before Ayaka stepped forward. "Hello father!" she exclaimed, throwing her tiny arms around him.

Ayato, the quieter one, followed suit with a nod, a shy smile on his face.

The hunter embraced them both, a warmth in his eyes that spoke volumes. "Such angels... Mon amour what a blessing you've granted me...," he sighed as he held them close.

Atsuki (惇貴) with 惇 meaning "sincerity, loyalty" and 貴 meaning "precious, valuable, honourable"　

your son had curly hair with the softest shade of light green, and piercing golden eyes with slits that reminded you of reptiles

you named your son after the chivalrous values his father had devoted his life to

he's a rather loud and excitable child, always forgetting to control his volume when he gets too emotional

doesn't really get along with other kids, but it doesn't affect him much, he's just happy to have his mama with him

if he's done something wrong, you don't even need to yell at him really, most of the time he's already holding back tears at the thought of disappointing you

very into sports and is also really good at several sports, he's earned a couple of medals and trophies already

he's not the best at magic, and you're also not too sure how his dark fae blood affects that, but he's still pretty good at making progress

he really is just a good kid who tries hard at everything and tries to make the right decisions, but he's quick to get disappointed when things don't go his way, and suddenly you're faced with a very familiar and endearing puppy dog face

so a lot of times, you'll just have to pull him in a hug, and remind him things almost never go the way we plan, and it's okay to accept defeat and learn from it

but there's nothing he's more motivated about than learning more about his dad, who in his mind, is an honourable, talented knight straight from the fairytales who devotes his life to protecting the people important to him

so much so, that you'll find him swinging around the toy sword you got him for training

he'll also start putting even more effort into learning magic, wanting to connect to his amazing papa in a way

and then on one night, you're not sure what triggered it, but he's incredibly emotional and crying about how he can't help you and you're always taking care of him and he just wants to have his dad in his life and it's all so unfair why his mama is alone and-

he starts emitting bright light, so bright you can't keep your eyes open, but you reach to hold him in your arms

when you no longer feel the bright light, you tentatively open your eyes, only to find yourself standing in the dark, spacious throne room of Briar Valley

and standing there, right next to the throne, was your knight in shining armour

Standing next to the grand throne, was your knight in shining armour, Sebek. He, along with Silver, stood in positions of defence, but the moment his eyes met yours, the mask of composure crumbled, and he rushed toward you with an urgency that mirrored the longing that had lingered in his heart during your separation.

He enveloped you in a fierce embrace, his arms securing you but also gentle to not hurt you with his armour.

"I thought... I thought I lost you," Sebek's voice was a shaky whisper against your ear, his grip on you tightening as if trying to confirm that you were indeed real.

"I'm here, Sebek. I found my way back," you reassured him, feeling the softness of his hair against your cheek.

"I never thought I'd see you again," he admitted, his words a whispered admission of the fears he had harboured, pressing his forehead gently to yours.

he's a mess the instant he sees you, and he melts completely when you're finally in his arms

malleus and silver are also immensely happy that you're back, calling lilia to join the family reunion

Sebek's pretty overwhelmed with your presence on its own, so silver and lilia have given him a gentle push to actually function and introduce himself to Atsuki

he's grown to be less awkward with his affection, and particularly with how long you've been away, he doesn't hold back too much

his hands are always inching closer to touch you, his forehead resting on your shoulder every once in a while, it's all really endearing

but his parenting style is a bit awkward

Atsuki really admires him, but that also makes him ever so slightly afraid of him

meanwhile, Sebek is nervous because he doesn't want to do anything that ruins the image of a perfect knight for his son

so they're a bit awkward, but with you as the middle person they can get along pretty well!

they bond over training, with Sebek teaching him sword fighting (with you reminding him not to push him too hard)

Atsuki also really enjoys sparing with uncle silver, who always lets him him, but Atsuki just wants him to fight for real, so it's just silver being "this is real??"

uncle malleus taking him out for gargoyle studies (Sebek is jealous lmao)

and of course, uncle lilia who cooks extremely nutritious meals that always end with Atsuki puppy dog eying you to save him

sebek's family is also very very happy to have you two!!

grandpa baul grumbles around a lot, but he keeps note of Atsuki's favourite foods to prepare them when he visits

also comments on his sword fighting and stance when he feels like it

mom and dad also adore you guys!! mrs. zigvolt loves giving you gifts and talking about sebek when he was younger haha

all in all, sebek's so incredibly grateful you could come back to him, and though he's still awkward with his affection sometimes, he'll never stop trying his best to love the both of you

Atsuki's eyes widened as he took in the sight of his father, the mythical figure he had only heard tales of until now.

Sebek's gaze shifted from you to Atsuki, and his breath caught. His eyes softened as he knelt down to be at eye level with the child who was undeniably his son. "Hello," he said, his voice trembling with a mix of joy and uncertainty. "I... I'm your father."

Atsuki's eyes flickered with a mixture of awe and excitement. "Papa?" he questioned, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sebek nodded, his hands trembling slightly as he reached out to gently cup Atsuki's face. "Yes, little one. I'm your papa."

The room seemed to hold its breath as father and son locked eyes for the first time. Atsuki, still processing the enormity of the moment, broke into a wide, joyful smile. "Papa!" he exclaimed, launching himself into Sebek's arms.

Sebek, overwhelmed with emotion, held Atsuki close, a mix of laughter and tears escaping him. "I've missed so much, haven't I?" he murmured, his heart swelling with love for the son he never imagined to exist.

Part 1✧Part 2✧Part 3 ✧Masterlist

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[callsigns-haze]

His Shadow: The beginning

This Is Chapter 1 (masterlist)

Azriel, secretly juggling his responsibilities and personal life, maintains a hidden relationship with YN, who works at a pleasure house in the Hewn City. She was his light, his love, his passion. Yet being his darkest secret is a hard role because life in the Hewn as a young female isn't the easiest as the two of you hold an even dark secret yet to be told...

Pairing: Azriel x reader

This series contains mature themes: Explicit depictions of violence, including physical and emotional. Themes of secrecy. Descriptions of difficult relationships, including strained familial and romantic dynamics. Mature sexual content. Themes of power, control, and manipulation within complex interpersonal relationships. Discussions of parenthood and the challenges associated with it, including postpartum experiences.

The Inner Circle noticed the change in Azriel almost immediately.

It started subtly. A missed meeting here, a late arrival there. At first, they chalked it up to his duties as the spymaster, knowing full well how deeply he was entangled in the shadows of Velaris and beyond. But as the days turned into weeks, Azriel’s absences grew more frequent, his presence more elusive.

Cassian was the first to voice his concern. “Anyone else noticed how Azriel’s been… disappearing?” he asked, frowning over the rim of his glass. They were gathered in the River House, the warmth of the hearth doing little to dispel the chill that had settled in the room.

Rhysand exchanged a glance with Feyre, his brow furrowed. “I’ve noticed,” he admitted. “But every time I reach out through the daemati, he’s always quick to assure me everything is fine. He’s been more secretive than usual, though.”

Mor, who had been unusually quiet, leaned forward, her eyes shadowed with worry. “I tried to ask him directly last week. He brushed me off, said it was nothing, just more work than usual. But… he looked exhausted, Rhys.”

It was true. When they did see Azriel, it was only for brief moments. He’d sweep in, dark circles under his eyes, his normally impeccable leathers rumpled as if he’d been up all night. He would give them a tight smile, exchange a few clipped words or go to his nephews, and then vanish again into the night. Even his shadows seemed quieter, more subdued, clinging to him like they too were weighed down by something unseen.

Feyre couldn’t shake the image of Azriel from her mind—the way he’d barely touched his food the last time they’d all sat down to dinner together, the way he’d flinched when Mor tried to touch his arm. There was something wrong, something deeply troubling, and it gnawed at her.

“I don’t like this,” Feyre said softly, her hand resting on the swell of her abdomen. “Azriel never lies to us, but it feels like he’s hiding something. Something big.”

Cassian’s hand clenched into a fist. “I’m going to drag him here if I have to. We need answers.”

But when Cassian did confront Azriel, it was like trying to catch smoke. The spymaster simply shrugged him off, his face impassive, his hazel eyes cold. “I’m fine, Cass. Just busy.”

“You look like death warmed over, Az. What’s going on?” Cassian pressed, frustration bleeding into his voice.

Azriel’s jaw tightened, shadows curling protectively around him. “It’s nothing you need to worry about.”

And that was the end of it. No matter how much Cassian prodded, how much Mor pleaded, how much Rhys tried to subtly pry into his mind, Azriel remained a stone wall. Implacable. Unyielding. Denying every question with the same cold, tired detachment.

It wasn’t until one particularly stormy night that Feyre finally cornered him. Azriel had returned to the River House, drenched from the rain, his normally sharp wings drooping with fatigue. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, his face gaunt, his eyes haunted.

Feyre intercepted him at the door, blocking his path with her small frame. “Azriel,” she said, her voice firm but gentle. “We need to talk.”

He looked at her, and for a moment, she saw something flicker in his eyes—something like guilt, or maybe fear. But then it was gone, replaced by that cold, impenetrable mask. “There’s nothing to talk about, Feyre.”

She didn’t move. “Please, Az. We’re all worried about you. You’re hiding something, and it’s tearing you apart. Let us help.”

For a long, tense moment, he simply stared at her, the rain dripping from his hair onto the polished floor. Feyre held her breath, praying he would open up, let her in, let someone in. But then his shoulders slumped, and he shook his head.

“I’m sorry, Feyre. But I can’t. Not yet.”

And with that, he slipped past her, leaving her standing in the doorway, her heart heavy with a growing dread.

Whatever Azriel was hiding, it was tearing him apart. And if he didn’t let them in soon, Feyre feared it would destroy him.

The Inner Circle was united in their concern, but despite their best efforts, Azriel remained a ghost in their lives, always on the periphery, always slipping through their fingers.

It was Rhys who finally voiced what they were all thinking, his voice a low, worried murmur as they gathered in the dim light of the sitting room. “Whatever it is… it’s only a matter of time before it comes crashing down on him. And when it does, he'll open.”

They nodded in agreement, but a shared, unspoken fear hung heavy in the air: would Azriel let them catch him when he finally fell?

---

Dinner at the River House was usually a time of comfort and camaraderie, a rare moment when the Inner Circle could gather without the weight of the world pressing down on their shoulders. But tonight, the atmosphere was tense, the usual warmth replaced by a cold, uneasy silence. The kids played outside as the adults sat.

Azriel sat at the far end of the table, his plate barely touched. He pushed the food around absently, his mind clearly elsewhere. His face was shadowed, his eyes distant, and the weariness that had been growing in him for weeks was more pronounced than ever.

Feyre noticed the way his gaze flicked to the windows, as if he was counting the minutes until he could leave. Cassian and Mor exchanged worried glances, and Rhysand’s brows drew together in a frown.

They all felt it—the growing distance, the secrets he was keeping. But tonight wasn’t the night to push him further. Not when he looked so close to breaking.

“Azriel,” Feyre said gently as the meal drew to a close, “You barely ate. Are you sure you’re all right?”

Azriel looked up, his expression neutral but his eyes giving away his exhaustion. “I’m fine, Feyre. Just tired.”

Cassian opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Azriel stood, the movement abrupt. “I need to go,” he muttered, already turning toward the door. “There’s something I need to take care of.”

“Az—” Rhysand started, but Azriel was already halfway out of the room.

“Goodnight,” Azriel tossed over his shoulder, his voice a distant echo as he disappeared into the night, leaving the Inner Circle staring after him in stunned silence.

Outside, the cool night air hit him like a wave, clearing some of the fog from his mind. Without pausing, Azriel unfurled his wings and launched himself into the sky, the wind whipping through his hair as he flew faster, higher, needing to escape the concerned looks, the unspoken questions, the suffocating worry.

He flew over the glittering city of Velaris, its lights twinkling like stars reflected in the Sidra River. But he didn’t linger. He angled his wings and veered away, heading towards the mountains, towards the darkness that loomed just beyond the city’s borders.

The Hewn City was a stark contrast to Velaris, a place where shadows reigned and light was a rare commodity. Even from the sky, Azriel could feel the oppressive weight of the city, the malice that seeped from its very stones. But he didn’t hesitate. He descended into one of the darker parts of the city, where the narrow alleys were shrouded in perpetual twilight, where even the bravest of souls dared not tread.

Azriel landed silently in one such alley, the shadows welcoming him as an old friend. He folded his wings and moved quickly, his footsteps barely a whisper on the cobblestones. The buildings here were ancient, their facades cracked and worn, their windows dark and uninviting. But Azriel knew exactly where he was going.

At the end of the alley was a narrow staircase, worn smooth by centuries of use. He climbed it swiftly, his heartbeat quickening with each step. When he reached the top floor, he paused, gathering himself. Then, with a deep breath, he pushed open the door.

The apartment was small, barely more than a single room with a bed pushed against one wall and a fireplace that cast a warm, flickering glow across the space. But to Azriel, it was a sanctuary. A place where the world’s troubles fell away, where he could be someone other than the Spymaster of Night Court.

And there, in the center of the room, was the reason he kept coming back.

YN, his love, his secret, his everything, was standing by the window, bathed in the soft light of the fire. She was smaller than him by far, her frame delicate, her own scars glowing, her features soft and kind in a way that was the exact opposite of the harshness of the world he knew. Her eyes, so full of warmth and love, lit up when she saw him, a smile spreading across her lips.

But there was a reason Azriel had never mentioned her to the Inner Circle, why he kept this part of his life hidden even from those he trusted most. YN worked under one of the pleasure homes in the Hewn City, forced into servitude under the command of the Hewn City’s lords. It was a dark and cruel existence, one that Azriel despised with every fibre of his being.

The idea of the Inner Circle knowing the truth—that the woman he loved was bound to such a place—was unbearable. He had seen too much darkness in his life, and the thought of exposing YN to the judgment, pity, or even the well-intentioned attempts to “rescue” her from that life, filled him with dread.

But here, in the quiet of this small apartment, she wasn’t the servant of cruel masters. She was just YN, the woman who had captured his heart despite everything, who had chosen him despite the four hundred and fifty years that separated them.

And in her arms was their newborn son, Knox, a tiny, perfect symbol of the life they had created together despite the odds.

The infant was only two weeks old, a small bundle of life that had already become Azriel’s anchor. Knox was asleep, his small, peaceful face a reminder of all that was good and pure in the world. Azriel’s breath caught in his throat at the sight of them.

This was why he disappeared every night. This was the secret he guarded so fiercely, the reason for his exhaustion, his distraction. This was the life he had built in the shadows, away from the eyes of the world.

YN walked over to him, her steps light and sure. “You look tired,” she said softly, reaching up to touch his face, her fingers brushing against the dark circles under his eyes.

“I am,” Azriel admitted, his voice rough with emotion. He let her touch ground him, pulling him out of the dark places in his mind and back into the light of her presence. “But seeing you… seeing him… it makes it all worth it.”

YN’s smile was soft, her eyes filled with a love so deep it made his heart ache. “You’re pushing yourself too hard,” she whispered. “I told you that if coming here after work is too much stay in Velaris for the night.”

Azriel closed his eyes, leaning into her touch, savouring the warmth that radiated from her. He knew she was right, but the weight of his responsibilities, the need to protect them, to keep them safe from the dangers he faced daily, made it hard to let go. “I just want to keep you both safe. And need you,” he murmured, his voice breaking.

YN reached up and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, her touch gentle but firm. “You already do,” she whispered against his mouth. “Just being here, being with us… that’s all we need, just as much as you need us.”

Azriel wrapped his arms around her, careful not to disturb Knox, who slept on, blissfully unaware of the world’s troubles. He held them both close, feeling the tension that had been coiled inside him begin to unravel. In this small, hidden room, in the arms of the woman he loved and with his son safe in her embrace, Azriel finally allowed himself to breathe.

For now, the shadows could wait. Here, in the warmth of their love, he was home. And this home is just the beginning of their secrets...

Let me know if you'd wish to be tagged! Comments and reblogs are really appreciated!

[blackmoonowl]

Separation anxiety

Fallout 4 companions really not liking being away from you, their partner - headcanons.

Slight triggers warnings for death and suicidal ideations.

A/n: Life isn't doki doki rn chat.

Cait:

❤︎ Cait doesn't like other people all that much. There's also not a whole lot of people like her, especially due to her selfish and often rude personality.

❤︎ At first she becomes angry with you. She doesn't understand why the hell you're leaving her behind. Did she finally upset you? Did her attitude push you away? Cait wants answers.

❤︎ Not above demanding to go with you. She finally has someone that cares about her, a decent life. She'll be hard to deal with the entire time

❤︎ Cait spirals back into some bad habits in your absence, even when she tries not to. She spends a lot of time at bars, drinking away her sorrows and worries.

❤︎ Generally becomes a big pain to deal with to other people. She snaps a whole lot more and becomes more anxious and irritated. She's stuck between being angry with you and missing you.

❤︎ Has no idea how to act when you come back. On one hand she wants to give you a smack upside the head and yell at you, on the oher she wants to just sink into your arms and not let go again.

Curie:

❤︎ Curie doesn't understand what she's feeling fully, but she absolutely hates it. It feels like a bucket of ice cold water has been poured directly over her synthetic heart.

❤︎ Handles a bit more mature than the other companions on this list. She keeps a cool head, but she's still grappling with the newfound emotions brought into the situation.

❤︎ Curie doesn't really think to argue, but pleads for you to reconsider. When she realizes it's futile, she just tries to prepare you for your trip. She packs you stimpaks, purified water and anything else she can find.

❤︎ Takes your absence hard. She finds herself near tears for the first time in her life. Nothing is comforting, she can't focus on her work for more than a minute before thoughts of you creep in again.

❤︎ Finds herself among the items you left behind. If you have a home in a settlement, she'll spend practically all her time there, moving all her research there.

❤︎ Frantically checks you for any injuries as soon as you step foot through the door. After all your wounds have been treated, and you settled in, she finally calms down.

Danse:

❤︎ Danse had everything stripped away from him. Even though he won't fully admit it, in his eyes you're his sole reason for existing, his purpose. He has gotten so used to being there with and for you that he can't imagine it otherwise.

❤︎ So when you tell him you have to part ways, he feels his heart sink. He was a Brotherhood Paladin, he thought he was above the feeling of insecurity that washes over him. He wonders if you changed your mind about keeping a synth around, not that he'd blame you.

❤︎ He won't fight you on it, even if he wants to. Instead putting on a brave face and wishing you good luck. He'll part with a tight hug, pleading for you to be safe, that he can't handle losing you.

❤︎ Nervous wreck the entire time. Part of him wishes he had just gone with you regardless. He keeps to himself most of the time, not really socializing and staying near your home.

❤︎ Goes through his entire training to try and keep his cool. He's never felt this kind of unrest in his life. He'll occupy himself by repairing his power armor over and over again, as well as physical exercise.

❤︎ The decorum goes somewhat out the window when you come back. Danse takes you into his arms, taking a moment to feel the comfort of your body against his again. Next time, he's coming with.

Deacon:

❤︎ Deacon's responses are cryptic and suspicious from the start. He doesn't fight you going, taking the hint when you say you have to go alone, but that's not the end of it.

❤︎ Deacon knows this game, having vanished on people, including you for the safety of everyone involved. Railroad work is rough, and the last thing he wants is to compromise your safety.

❤︎ That doesn't mean he's going to sit by idly, though. He's well aware he can't follow you himself. He's way too closely connected with you, and you'll definitely notice if he follows you. You know him too well for him to be able to pull that off.

❤︎ So he connects with every tourist and Railroad agent he can find. Preferably the ones you don't know as well. Every single move is tracked so he knows where you're at, ready to step in should the need arise.

❤︎ Deacon's behavior around other shifts only slightly. He'll keep up his usual appearances and antics, but he does seem a little more distracted than usual.

❤︎ Waiting on you when you come back. He casually welcomes you back with a hug and kiss, saying he knew that you'd make it home safe. But as soon as you turn your back on him, he breathes a sigh of relief.

Gage:

❤︎ Gage almost gets annoyed with how the news of you leaving upsets him. He tries to reason it's because you're the overboss, and the place would fall apart without you to lead it. But he can't deny the dull sense of panic welling up in him.

❤︎ This raider doesn't go without a fight. He'll become angry. He's your right hand man, he's supposed to stick by your side. He has no idea why he's acting like this. Last thing he wants is to put himself in needless danger. But he can't stand the thought of you walking out into the wasteland alone.

❤︎ Tries to come up with any rational conclusion he can find. He wonders if you are planning to turn your back on him and the raider gangs, he certainly feels betrayed by you leaving him behind. You'll have to firmly remind him that you're still the boss of him before he even considers backing down. Though that doesn't mean he appreciates you holding rank above his head.

❤︎ Struggles keeping the raider gangs together in your absence. At any given moment he feels like there's going to be a revolt, leading to his own death. Part of him resents you from putting him in this position.

❤︎ At his lowest point, he found himself sitting on your side of the bed, stroking his fingers over an article of your clothing. When he fully realized what he was doing, he tossed it aside, trying to convince himself you haven't affected him.

❤︎ When you come back, he keeps his feelings to himself as you deal with the leaders of the other raider gangs. But as soon as the two of you are alone. He gives you a scolding for leaving him behind, with you in the comforts of his arm.

Hancock:

❤︎ Hancock is the last person who wants to curb your freedom, but he's also keenly aware of the danger you're putting yourself in. You've made quite a name for yourself in the Commonwealth, and as his partner, you have an even bigger target on your back.

❤︎ He asks you what's going on. If you're in trouble with some gang he can find a way to make them either back off or disappear entirely. Goodneighbor can survive without him, he's not so sure about you, though.

❤︎ He'll get frustrated if you don't give him a straight answer as to whats going on, and you're better off just telling him how you feel. Just tell him exactly where you're going and what you're going to do, just so he knows where to find you.

❤︎ Reluctantly lets you go. He swears to himself that if you're not back at a certain time, he's going out himself to come looking for you and bring you home.

❤︎ Finds a lot of comfort in chems, obviously. He finds being sober rather unpleasant when he doesn't know where you are and if you're even alive, mentally beating himself up for letting you.

❤︎ Probably high as hell when you come back. He's not lucid enough to fully grasp that you're home alive. When he wakes up that night he immediately reaches out for you, praying your return wasn't a drug infused hallucination of what he wanted.

MacCready:

❤︎ MacCready lost someone he dearly loved, he can't bear the thought of it happening again. The mere idea of you going off without him there protect you, makes him sick to his stomach.

❤︎ Argues at first. He is angry, he wants to stay by your side. What's so important that you had to leave him behind? His voices raises and his voice begins to crack.

❤︎ Then begins the bargaining. He knows he can't force you, but dammit he needs you. He wouldn't be able to take it if he lost you as well. so just let him go with you just in case. You hired him to watch your back for crying out loud, why are you being so goddamn stubborn?

❤︎ Actually fighting to keep himself together in your absence. He drinks, smokes and tries whatever he can to calm himself down. He thinks of every horrible way you could die without him there to save you, and it kills him. He failed to protect his wife, and he can't stand not being able to protect you too.

❤︎ Just like Cait he is irritable and unsociable. He snaps at people, his attitude is even worse than usual. MacCready has absolutely zero patience and he feels he's gonna lose it at any given moment. Keeps to himself as much as he can. He's neck deep in denial with how much he lays awake at night, instinctively reaching out for you, only to realize you're not there.

❤︎ As soon as he sees you walking back to him, he's on you within seconds. His arms wrapped around you as he fights back a few tears of relief. He'll let his hands roam all over your body, letting the reality sink in that you're back safe. Just so you know, you're not going anywhere for the next few hours.

Nick Valentine:

❤︎ Thinks you've utterly lost your mind. Going out into the Commonwealth alone is something only people with a death wish do. Or those too confident in their abilities.

❤︎ Given his nature as a detective, he tries to get to the root of your decision. He'd rather be there to watch your back in case something happens. After all through his detective work he has seen the absolute worst of the wasteland.

❤︎ Part of him wonders if you're concerned about him breaking down. It doesn't really matter to him, he would rather lose a limb or two than lose you.

❤︎ Just like Hancock he wants to know exactly where you are going, why and who you might be with. It helps him calculate the dangers. Worst case scenario, he'll know exactly where to start looking if you go missing.

❤︎ Takes on more cases to distract himself, convincing himself you're smart enough not to take stupid risks. Though his deduction skills are greatly reduced as he is occupied with worry for you.

❤︎ Stands at the entrance to Diamond city when you come back. Turns out he stands out by the gate every evening to see if you come back. He'll welcome you with a kiss to the forehead, wrapping an arm around you to pull you close.

Piper:

❤︎ Part of Piper feels annoyed that you're leaving her out of your adventures. She doesn't need to be protected, she can handle herself just fine.

❤︎ Like Nick Valentine, she wants to find out exactly what's going on. Nothing should warrant you leaving her in the dark, or behind for that matter.

❤︎ Doesn't willingly let you go, but doesn't actively prevent you from going. She is worried to death that something will happen to you. That you'll get taken out by raiders, super mutants or god forbid the Institute. Hell, she thought a synth might have replaced you. The real you would never leave her behind!

❤︎ As soon as you're gone, just like Deacon, she begins to dig. She tries getting Nick to help her out with tracking you. She'll be two steps behind you if she can. And if she can't follow you, she'll try getting informants.

❤︎ She feels bad about stalking your moves, but she needs to know why you left her at home. And if you're safe. She can't help how nosy she is. If you bit the big one she'd never recover.

❤︎ Once she hears you're on your way back, she makes you promise to never ditch her again. She also wouldn't complain if you bought her a drink as compensation.

Preston:

❤︎ You aren't just Preston's partner, you're his hero. You're the general of the minuteman, you brought his whole reason to live back. He truly sees you as a knight in shining armor.

❤︎ Last thing he wants is for you to end up like General Becker. For the minuteman to end up like they did after he died. Last thing he wants is to lose the person who was always there for him, his closest friend and his partner.

❤︎ As your loyal right hand man, he respects you greatly, and he doesn't want to fight you on this, even as he feels his heart go numb with fear.

❤︎ The minutemen heavily relies on you, he relies on you. He can't handle it if his world comes crashing down on him a second time, if he had to lose everything he thought for, and the person he loved more than anything.

❤︎ Tries his damned best to make you proud by keeping things going. He has some minutemen keep their ears open and report back any news on you. Keeping everything you fought together to build running brings him a bit of comfort.

❤︎ Actually sheds a tear or two when you come home safe, clutching you to his body as he buries his face in your hair. It feels like he can breathe again, and he takes an evening off so you two can spend time together.

X6-88:

❤︎ X6-88 doesn't fully understand why you wouldn't want the help of him, an Institute courser. Surely it would be a lot safer and easier if you just took him with him.

❤︎ He takes the order without a fight, just with a few questions as two why he can't join you, and when you'll be back. He makes you agree that if you haven't returned on the agreed date and location, he'd come looking for you himself.

❤︎ The synth isn't good with emotions, greatly lacking most of them. The dull sting in his chest isn't something he thinks deeply about. Instead he pushes the physical discomfort away and continues his duties as usual.

❤︎ He finds himself checking the approaching date of your scheduled return over and over again, calculating the time you had left before he would assume something had happened.

❤︎ When more than a couple minutes ticked past your supposed return, he was more than ready to start a full on search for you through the Commonwealth.

❤︎ Told you not to keep him waiting as soon as you returned. Outwardly he looked just the same, but he wondered why that ache in his chest had stopped.

[id0what1want]

Carmine.

I've been reserved, but I'm gonna come out and say it. Carmine is a very multifaceted character just like her brother, and similarly to him, many people like to pick and choose what they evaluate to simplify her into something either hyper-villified or super one note 'she didn't mean it, and nothing is her fault'. The truth of the matter is that the Teal Mask is a messy situation and trying to figure out who is at fault is beside the point cuz blaming Carmine or Kieran or the player or anything else ruins the nuance and the complexity.

A lot of Carmine's mischaracterization comes from the fact that all of her dialogue is not directly indicative of her character and often isn't exactly one to one how she feels about something. Carmine is a character that struggles a LOT with conveying/receiving tone and is very prone to misunderstanding AND being misunderstood.

Her relationship with Kieran is by no means perfect and way more realistically messy than most fictional sibling portrayals. Many sibling relationships, ESPECIALLY the ones between a sister and brother, have very harsh rivalries, especially at certain age differences. There is constant competition since they're just old enough to want the same things, but far enough apart to claim seniority. I should also mention that throwing neurodivergence into the mix is even MORE volatile, especially the kind that we're working with when it comes to the Kitakami siblings.

It would not surprise me at all if Carmine was also bullied by her peers and it just presented differently. Carmine herself is socially oblivious and has a lot of pride so it seems like snide comments would roll of her back- but look at the things that Carmine cares about. Beauty, power, coolness. She's fiercely loyal to Mossui Town and Kieran was canonically bullied for coming from 'the boonies'. It's not far to venture that Carmine herself suffered the same treatment and her hostility towards outsiders in her hometown stems from that.

Carmine also DOES think highly of Kieran. She thinks he is a skilled trainer and also knows that he has thick skin because they grew up together. They also grew up together without their parents or other kids significantly in the picture. Even with their grandparents, this leads to a dynamic where Carmine and Kieran have each other first and foremost. They share blood and that doesn't count for nothing, and even further they share traits by nature because of it. Both siblings have a deep-set jealous streak and sense of pride, one that isn't immediately relatable to everyone and can even isolate them from other people, but not necessarily from each other. She looks out for his best interest, though it doesn't always come off right.

Carmine isn't self-aware majority of the time. When she is rude, it's not always intentional and her expression of her thoughts or emotions isn't always accurate because Carmine feels strong, complicated things. It's a struggle to verbose them correctly and she seems not to have been taught how to regulate or voice her emotions accurately, instead expressing herself through HER means instead of everyone else's. When Carmine defends Kieran's mask before the festival, that is an expression of her love. When she seeks out the player despite her distaste specifically on Kieran's behalf, that is an expression of her love. Carmine's actions are normally very well-intentioned but don't always come out that way. As a neurodivergent person myself, I completely understand this.

When she lies to Kieran about the ogre, she is attempting to preserve his friendship with the player and his bond with her, and it's because she KNOWS Kieran will be jealous. Was it wrong to do that? Totally! Was she right down the line. Also yes. Carmine does take full responsibility in being Kieran's sister and takes that role very seriously. Turning Kieran over to the player like she did in the beginning is actually a big sign of maturity from Carmine we don't see super often. She swallows her jealousy and pride, risking Kieran finding some outsider cooler than her, because she wants him to have friends outside of her despite being naturally possessive.

Carmine has a very strong sense of justice and this twists when applied to her relationship with Kieran. The two bicker a lot and have a strong leader-follower dynamic, with Carmine sometimes bullying Kieran into listening to her. Carmine is normally not taken seriously outside of Kieran and feels the need to berate people into respecting her. It's not right, but it's how she feels. It's not healthy but it's also not completely abnormal for siblings to be like this. My own siblings are like this and as a family unit we have all fought for dominance, not always in savory, healthy ways. I'm not saying she's right- I'm saying she's a teenage girl that deals with things in messy ways because she's a teenage girl. Kieran often gets the teenager pass (granted, he is younger.) but I also see Drayton getting the teenage pass when he's of comparable or older age than Carmine.

Drayton is also a hot topic with Carmine. Setting aside my own hcs, their objective relationship is antagonistic both ways. Drayton is of course not the devil Carmine treats him as, but it's very well established that Carmine struggles a) to read people and b) to warm up to people. It doesn't help that Drayton goes out of his way to irritate and antagonize her. It's not extreme of course, but Carmine is distrusting, and angers easily which Drayton is amused by. There is NOTHING more annoying than getting mad at something and somebody laughs in your face. Especially from a neurodiverse and bullied perspective- what Drayton is doing is NOT bullying- but Carmine again likely grew up bullied and made fun of, specifically FOR her temper. Growing up, older boys would deliberately irritate me to the point of a meltdown because they thought it was funny to watch me freak out. Things like that are stressful and also SUPER impact emotional regulation in a person. And while Carmine is aggressive, she senses a scheme from Drayton against her brother. She is already insanely loyal to Kieran and after her shortcomings in the Teal Mask she's DEFINITELY going to be hypersensitive about not making Kieran any worse. Drayton being cryptic and treating it all so lightly is bound to get on her nerves, and he already violates her sense of justice with his behavior. Don't get me wrong, I love Drayton, but he also has the emotional intelligence to know better to act in certain ways that he does. What Carmine is doing is essentially a cat puffing up and swiping at a perceived threat, and instead of calming the cat down, Drayton agitates it further to tease it. Carmine, while aggressive with her words, is actually surprisingly tame and restrained. It's obvious to me at least that she is trying to regulate herself and is not nearly aggressive as she could be. Carmine to me in this situation is barking but not biting- she's looking out for the safety of everyone around her, but she can't make a sound enough judgement of his intention to actually bite so she isn't going to. Carmine doesn't genuinely want to hurt Drayton. She has a temper, especially a verbal one, that he pokes fun at and thus she has a negative association with him.

I guess I'm just reallllly tired of people acting like Carmine and Kieran are either completely innocent, erasing the complicated writing behind their actions, or holding them to an unfair moral standard since it's pretty obvious that these kids should have been seeing a behavioral therapist and had more intervention growing up. (Behavioral therapy is not a desperate need but also I firmly believe that most kids should see therapists, even if they're having troubles on this medium a scale. Carmine and Kieran aren't nonfunctional, but they also weren't taught strategies to self-regulate which seeing a therapist would've helped with growing up).

Also the vilification of autistic traits in women pisses me off. Like can we please not condemn Carmine for shit that we actively excuse in other characters, please and thank you. She's not a raging bitch but she's also not the well-mannered pretty girl people want her to be. Women are slightly bitchy and suddenly that's grounds to excuse awful treatment of them and c'mon guys.

[myheadsgonenumb]

I know a lot of people accuse the marauders fandom of being misogynistic because of the way they pair male characters together and sideline female characters to do it. And maybe there is an element of truth in that for some people.

But I see wolfstar and remadora being used as an example of this - as if the wolfstar ship hadn't existed for four years before Tonks was introduced to the readership, as if it wasn't six years old before remadora was introduced, as if it isn't perfectly reasonable that readers read Tonks as queer coded before she was straight jacketed into being a stepford wife and as if remadora was a well seeded and compelling relationship that anyone might feasibly have any interest in.

I don't like Tonks - not because she's a woman, but because she knocks things over and says "wotcher", and there is no excuse for that. She is an irritating character that adds nothing to the narrative. But even so, if Remadora had played out differently, I could have got on board with it. I want Remus to be happy - and if Tonks is what makes him happy, so be it. I like Romione and Hinny, after all. I'm fine with canon ships where it's clear the characters like each other. But married Remus isn't happy, and it is not clear that he and Tonks like each other at all.

I am a wolfstar shipper, but even if I wasn't, I wouldn't like Remadora. I unashamedly love the HP books and there is very little that I will criticise them over, but Remadora is one of those things, and this is why.

Remadora is a hot, toxic and abusive mess but it's her not him.

Whether she likes his reasons or not, whether the readers or the fucking Weasleys like his reasons or not, Remus is entitled to his boundaries. He does not want to be in a relationship with her because he believes it is a bad idea. He knows, better than any of them, what his life is really like; the toll the prejudice he faces takes on him and how this will impact Tonks' life. And he doesn't want to be responsible for that - and that's fair enough.  

So he says "no" a million times (actual quote) and removes himself from the situation. Which is the mature and sensible thing to do.

She doesn't accept it. For a start - he shouldn't have had to keep repeating his "no", that is enough to tell us she is repeatedly forcing the issue, that she doesn't respect his answer or his feelings and is not listening to him. She thinks that because she loves him despite his condition that that is enough. He is old enough to know the reality of their life together will be far more complicated than that and recognises that he does not want it (and fears that eventually neither will she).    

But she won’t listen and she won't respect his decision and so she goes around airing their dirty laundry in public, getting his friends to side with her and agree he is being "ridiculous" (again - actual quote). She is losing her powers over him and no - that is not him draining the life out of her, as I have seen said - that is her being a melodramatic twat. She is not the first person to be unlucky in love, her reaction is what is ridiculous. Meanwhile, Remus is being the grown up and getting on with his life. Yes he's going out of his way to avoid her (which is proving necessary as she won't let their relationship lie) but it's still necessary work and it’s work only he can do. The fact that he might be relieved to have an excuse to get away from her speaks to her bad behaviour not his.  

She changes her patronus to match his and this is just so... everything that is wrong with them and with her encapsulated.  For a start, we only see two sets of exactly matching patronuses in HP - Remadora and Snily, both examples of unrequited, thwarted love. Healthy relationships might have complementary patronuses, but relationships where one person's patronus assumes the shape of another's suggests that one person is being subsumed by the other. And yet this is not a relationship or level of control that either Remus or Lily are interested in having, so it is a sign - not of control or abuse from them - but of how obsession is eroding Tonks' and Snape's core selves. But that isn't the fault of the person they are obsessed with.

The remadora example is far far worse though, because a doe doesn't have any special significance to Lily, that is just the shape her patronus is. Remus's is a wolf. He hates that, and chooses to cast an incorporeal patronus when he can. Being a werewolf is his greatest source of pain and shame, and he sees his patronus as an extension of that, almost of it outing his condition. Tonks - the absolutely fuckwitted stalker that she is - bears absolutely none of that in mind, changes her patronus and blithely casts it around to all and sundry to deliver messages. She is taking Remus's darkest, most shameful, most secret part of himself and using it to wizard text. And she doesn't even get why that's a problem. It just shows that he is correct in believing that she doesn't understand the reality of his situation and is not ready for it; she doesn't appreciate or respect the toll it takes on his life and frankly she doesn't respect his feelings (which we already knew from her not accepting his "no").         

It all comes to a head when Dumbledore dies. Remus loses control of his emotions at this point, and Harry is so startled that he thinks of it being "indecent" to see Remus vulnerable like this. Remus is not just grieving Dumbledore, he is processing the fact that without Dumbledore the war is lost; Voldemort will win; everything has been vain and the whole world is going to tumble into darkness. Every sacrifice he has made, Sirius, Lily, James - it's all been for nothing. That is where he is at that moment.

And fucking Tonks - fucking Tonks -  makes it about her and their relationship. And it’s not just that she corners him when he is at his most vulnerable. But she does it publicly, in front of their friends, in front of the kids. She grabs hold of his robes and physically shakes him. She physically shakes him . If he had physically shaken her we would not be having a discussion on if she was unreasonable to not want to marry him.

Even at this moment, he tries to stand his ground, He knows what is right. He knows getting married is the wrong thing for them to do. But she won't back down and all their friends back her. It's unbelievable.

And he is a weak man. He knows it, we know it, and he never claimed to be anything else.  Under this much pressure, he gives in. But he later says it was done very much "against {his} better judgement". He was co-erced into marriage- both emotionally and eventually physically.

So - yeah - Tonks gets pregnant. There are many clues throughout the books that the wizarding world is a no sex before marriage society and that they don't have contraception. Babies often follow hot on the heels of marriage. Should Remus have refused to consumate the marriage he entered against his will? Probably. Would Tonks have accepted that? Hell no! She'd have been back round Molly Weasley's for "tea and sympathy", telling the whole Weasley clan he won't shag her.  Having gone through with marriage, despite his misgivings, he gives in and goes through with it all. And Tonks gets pregnant.

And she is delighted. Because despite his fears of what this will mean for the child - Tonks couldn't care less. Remus says they don't know if the baby will be a werewolf or not. werewolves don't have kids. She is bringing a child into the world who could have a chronic, debilitating illness that will make them a pariah, and she doesn't even care. She doesn't think it's a problem. She thinks love will be enough, because she has no actual understanding of what she is dealing with, and shows no interest in gaining that understanding. She thinks "I don’t care” (about her family being werewolves) is the answer to the problem.

Meanwhile, Remus is spiralling into depression because he is facing the reality of the prejudice his condition is now forcing on his wife and child, He cannot take the guilt of how he is going to negatively impact their lives. And while Tonks is within her rights to say she doesn't care about that, Remus is within his rights to say the guilt is too much for him and he doesn't want that. He is entitled to his boundaries and his feelings as well, but Tonks, the other characters and a hefty portion of the readership don't seem to recognise this.

So Remus is now trapped. He admits it was a mistake to marry Tonks and he knows he shouldn't have - but he was pursued until he couldn't stand against it any longer, and the depression and guilt is killing him. Harry is worrying about him, he is so clearly miserable. AND TONKS DOESN'T EVEN SEEM TO NOTICE! She is described as being "radiant", she is blissfully happy. She has what she wants and she can't even spot what the teenage boy whose only spent a couple of minutes with them since they got married can see is glaringly obvious.

And this leads back to her being obsessive about Remus, but actually seeming to know or care about him very little. She doesn't respect or understand his feelings and has no interest in doing so. She wants him. She has him. The end.

So - unable to cope with the guilt of what he has done, the societal stigma he is inflicting on his own family, the coldness of now having to deal with that prejudice in his own home via his in laws (and I've seen people try and gaslight him by saying he is imagining that, Ron and Molly spout anti-werewolf rhetoric, no Andromeda is not chill about her only daughter being married to one) and having no one on his side who will even listen to his fears - he suffers a total mental breakdown and runs away.

And is told to go back.

Fuck that. Anyone is entitled to leave a marriage they are unhappy in. Yes, he can't leave in such a way that he is not around to support the child and it was wrong of him to try (though understandable that he did not think that through in the circumstances) but he does not have to stay with Tonks, if he thinks it is for the best that he leaves. Especially when the impact the marriage is having on his mental health is taken into account. 

Harry is a teenager, who is seeing the situation through his own lens of being orphaned. And he is absolutely right to refuse to be Remus’s cover here. Remus is doing the mental gymnastics that if he leaves his child to protect James’ child then it’s all OK, and Harry is right not to be OK with that.   But he is wrong to unequivocally think Remus should go back to Tonks. This is an adult relationship that Harry is not yet old enough to understand, which took place under duress, and Remus is miserable in it. Why should he stay? 

They get lucky, and Teddy is not a werewolf, but that does not mean his fear around that was not reasonable. And he dies before they ever have to face up to the reality of life together for any length of time.

He is not proven wrong just because he does not live long enough to be proven right.

He just goes back, because there is nowhere else for him to go and no one willing to help him. and buries his head in the sand. But he is the expert in the experience of life as a werewolf. If he says it’s awful, if he says Tonks is going to face mistreatment and stigma because of it, then he is right. And it is all very well for a young and in love Tonks to say that doesn't matter, but he is older and wiser and knows how prejudice wears you down through the years. He knows reality will get the better of them in the end. And even if it doesn't - even if Tonks was to remain cheerful in the face of blatant discrimination for her and her child for the rest of her life - Remus is not unreasonable to say he is not willing to be the cause of that, that he can't live with that guilt, and to choose to remove himself from the situation so Tonks and Teddy can live normally.

I think the books do Tonks dirty. She is a different character in each of the three books she appears in, and each incarnation is worse than the last. But I can't like her because ultimately her actions are so abusive and she is so oblivious to the pain Remus is in. The only good thing about the ship is that the mental breakdown gives Remus something significant to do in DH, when otherwise he would have been totally sidelined - and the breakdown to coming back with Sirius and James and Lily gives him a nice redemption arc. But in terms of both characters it doesn't make sense and both need to be totally broken to make it work. 

Remadora is one of the best written examples of an abusive relationship I've seen. What's weird about it is a) it’s in a children's series and b) the conclusion is that the victim of abuse is being very silly and should return to his abuser.

So please, stop telling wolfstar shippers that they are misogynistic because they are more interested in the potential of the 40 line stare than they are in this toxic wasteland of romance. It's just bad. And it's OK not to ship it because it is bad.

[scleroticstatue]

Feminine Plots

Okay, I've been thinking A Lot about basic plot types and how classically feminine stories fit into neither the traditional (masculine) archetypes nor the traditional plots. After a lot of studying the major plot beats, I think all female-led stories* fall into one of seven plots. I'm using Disney movies to demonstrate this because just about everyone has seen them, but I think you could apply these to just about any feminine-based story.*

So, without further ado:

The Hard Work Plot: The heroine of this story is a hard worker and is tested by the plot to prove her kindness and generosity. If she passes the test, she wins and is rewarded for it. This is the basic plot of Snow White, Cinderella, and Tiana/Princess and the Frog.**

The Beast Taming Plot: The heroine of this story is put in a situation where she meets a monster, learns to understand it (usually through a heightened state of empathy), and then tames it to become socially acceptable for the norms of society, often ending the story by using the tamed monster to defeat a more villainous character who has been accepted by society. This is the plot of Belle/Beauty and the Beast, Moana, Jane/Tarzan, and Lilo/Lilo & Stitch.

The Transformstion Plot: The heroine meets an outsider who is threatening her home/family/people, who are stagnating or stifling. She spends time getting to know the person and their culture, and then uses her friendship to transform her own culture into one of flourishing modernity. This is the plot of Ariel/The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, and Jasmine/Aladdin.

The Restoration Plot: The heroine is in a kingdom/household of dwindling power. Her quest is to restore the damaged relationships and undo the evil that caused the kingdom to dwindle. There's a very high chance that the heroine doesn't actually do the restoration herself, rather she makes other characters realize they have responsibilities and duties they haven't fulfilled, who then fix the problem instead of the actual female lead. This is Aurora/Sleeping Beauty, Elsa/Frozen, Mirabel/Encanto, and Nala/The Lion King.

The Balancing Plot: The heroine is proven to be unfit for feminine life and goes on a journey to prove she is capable of fitting in with the guys, only to realize that what she needs to restore peace and joy to her home/kingdom is the very feminity that she rejected. This is Mulan and Merida/Brave.

The Maturing Plot: The heroine is a naive individual who is exposed to the big bad world. Her idealism transforms the big bad world to be softer, but she also realizes there are bad things out there and that are/will take advantage of her if she lets it. In the end, she usually has to fight the bad guy/embrace her duties and responsibilities to save her home. This is Alice/in Wonderland, Wendy/Peter Pan, Giselle/Enchanted, and Rapunzel/Tangled.

The Sacrifice Plot: The heroine has a group that she is some sort of caretaker for (a princess, a lover, a support class). She does something, usually accidentally, that causes her friends to end up in danger, and she has to sacrifice herself to make up for those wrongs and save her people, usually ending up coming back to life because the other leads are so inspired and love her so much they make sure to save her. This is Tinkerbell/Peter Pan, Meg/Hercules, Esmeralda/Hunchback of Notre Dame, Kida/Atlantis, Anna/Frozen.***

EDIT: After workshopping this, I've decided I was missing one which seems almost exclusive to mothers and wives:

The Witnessing: The heroine must prepare another to become a Sacrifice/go to war/fight without her interference, and she has to let go and let them take on the trials of the world. Her plot arc succeeds when the people she's equipped successfully encounter the world without her guidance. This is Mrs. Potts/Beauty, Grandma Tala and Sina (the mom)/Moana, and Grandma Fa/Mulan. It's rare, so there's not a lot of these are protagonists, but it is a legitimate feminine archetype.

Star explanations under the cut.

*I'm being very specific here and talking about stories that are associated with the feminine, not stories that are traditionally associated with males who have then taken on female leads. And, while you can look at these as entire plots, these are also applicable as character arcs. The Lion King, told from Simba's perspective is the classic Call to Adventure. However, from Nala's perspective, she is the Restorer who, after watching her kingdom fall to ruin, has to go find the proper authority, mend his relationship with his father, and then return him to the kingdom to fulfill his responsibilities. While some more modern stories have female leads that don't fit these categories, I would argue they're not trying to appeal to women, but to a general audience and just happen to have a female protagonist, who could easily be swapped out for a male protagonist without changing anything of the story (and that, imo, makes for a very bad story indeed).

**There is a secondary dimension in these stories, which is the staticness or dynamicness of the characters. The classical Hero's Journey features a dynamic protagonist, who is expected to change throughout the run of a story. However, in most female-led media, the lead character is already virtuous and good. She is a static character that is then tested to see if she will fold under pressure. Snow White and Princess and the Frog both feature Hard Work narratives; however, Snow White is a static character who has to prove through a series of trials that she's good hearted and the world won't turn her cynical, while Tiana is a dynamic character who has to grow from cynicism to accept love as a virtue. While it is more traditional of older stories like Grimms' Fairy Tales, the Arthurian mythos, or Classic-era novels, static protagonists have almost entirely died out in favor of the Hero's Journey dynamicness. However, it remains a staple in Feminine Stories, even in modern stories: Moana, Anna/Tangled, Lilo/Lilo & Stitch.

***The Sacrifice Plot is a little odd, because there's usually another plot on top of it; Anna has a (slight) Maturing Plot, Meg has a Balancing Plot, Kida has a Restoration Plot. However, in the end, it's not a philosophical shift that defines their character, but their willingness to sacrifice for those they love. Yes, Anna was duped by Hans and has to accept he's not the good guy. However, she still falls in love with a man she just met (just a different one) and her narrative is instead trying to fix the problem she made when she upset her sister and her climax is when she essentially dies for Elsa, who then saves her with their sisterly love.

[elodieunderglass]

Hello! I was reading back through the joyful Killie-posting and I realised I had forgotten that Ciara is going through a slow divorce. Was her marriage a dynastic move, like her parents? Were they hoping to keep the bloodline strong, or did she briefly fall in love and escape the clutches of the family for a time? She seems so awful. I'm intrigued by her.

(Killie the jockey OC’s awful sister Ciara, who turns up in a few places, being horrid.)

Do I need a better way to keep track of Killie posts /responses/comics? or is this fine? Suggestions on the back of a pigeon, please.

Oh, I like Ciara. She has one of those mean little hater faces I have ill-advised crushes on, and I expect she’s quite sharply witty, even if she mostly uses her powers for evil. It was wrong of her to push Charlie out of the nest (although she realised that quickly), it is wrong of her to sharpen her claws on Colm (which she might realise but still does it) and it is wrong of everyone else to overlook her incisive intelligence and redeemable qualities. What a big mess. Would being different flavours of bi disaster fix all of the siblings? The answer is no.

Regardless of Ciara being exactly the sort of person to read tabloids or run a drama blog, nobody deserves to have to go through a Republic of Ireland divorce, a horrible trial that nobody in the world actually wants. (You have to live apart from the other person for two out of three years. It used to be even worse!)

I think it was both. she married for love, to another jockey/trainer, son of people they knew, with her parents’ approval; but having viewed school as a mind-game full of enemies, and not having much in the way of other social connections, she only really knew people in the industry anyway. And she liked him. so she married in haste and repented at leisure. She should’ve been at the club.

Being a hater in the online comments started as an attempt to find Charlie, moved into getting sidetracked by the existence of online communities (whoa! There’s other kinds of people in the world! It isn’t just Horse Racing, Family, and Direct Competitors! People have different jobs and careers? She makes online friends? She finds out some are gay???) and gave her some ability to build identity. They’re probably the voices that helped her realise that she was replicating her birth family in her marriage, that she was just ripping strips off her husband out of frustration, and that her personality was boxing itself in with his, both of them getting worse and making each other worse, smaller people. That helped her get out of her marriage, which was a difficult thing to do anyway, since it wasn’t something as simple as either Ciara or her husband being Bad People. She married for love, goddammit!

She thought she was escaping the clutches but she was creating them again!

She probably had a moment of horrible clarity about that.

I don’t know. The other siblings all represent something. Maybe if Charlie is somehow about… Joy, and Control of the Narrative. (“There are parts of Charlie you can’t have.”) singer, liar, storyteller - those are choices you can make.

and Killie has always been Courage and also Freedom. (“Throw your heart over the fence and your horse will follow.”) Killie’s a fuckin’ warrior (and also a wild horse) and that’s all from choices.

and Colm is Peace, and oddly enough, Integrity. (“Colm has a core of solid diamond.”) of all the things we might wish for as mature adults, perhaps he has the best.

So what is Ciara? What’s she about, what was I processing here? There will be something true and brave and important there. But it doesn’t have to come from me. Maybe she means something to you, and I hope she does, even if I don’t know myself yet.

[androm3da868]

Anuradha Observations pt. 1 🕷️

Anuradha, often known as the 'risk manager' nakshatra, is frequently chosen to portray the hero in films. I'd take it a step further and say that embodying this 'hero' archetype—trying to save everyone—often begins in their childhood.

Commonly found in the legal profession, specifically attorneys, thanks to its strong pattern recognition abilities when it comes to identifying potential harm. Those with this nakshatra excel at preventing disruption by analyzing trends and developing detailed, proactive solutions.

With the ingrained pressure to 'save' those around them since childhood, Anuradha natives often take on the role of damage control or harm prevention (influenced by Saturn). This can manifest in extreme—or at times even forceful—methods (driven by Mars) when protecting loved ones from self-destructive behavior.

As children, natives may have witnessed their parents go through intense 'tower moments'—experiences marked by the misuse of power or authority in destructive ways. These early exposures can lead them to adopt the hero archetype as a form of self-protection, becoming almost obsessive about preventing similar situations in their own lives others.

The mother may have exhibited a personality that was volatile—strategic, impulsive, and at times violent—an aspect of her that only the Anuradha child seemed to witness or be affected by. In contrast, the father may have been cold, authoritative, and highly traditional, yet still commanded more respect within the family dynamic than the mother.

There’s a noticeable pattern among the men of having a complex, often intense bond with the mother. While there may be deep emotional closeness, the relationship can carry an undercurrent of power dynamics. The native might find himself in a caretaker role—feeling a strong sense of duty to provide for his mother—even if the treatment he receives is emotionally taxing. In many cases, the mother maintains a certain control or autonomy over the native, reinforcing a dynamic where love and obligation are deeply entangled.

This dynamic often extends beyond the mother-child relationship, as Anuradha natives may unconsciously recreate similar karmic patterns in their other relationships. They may attract or feel drawn to people who take advantage of their loyalty and protective nature.

Much like Jupiter-ruled nakshatra men—particularly Purva Bhadrapada—who may find themselves being taken advantage of for their material generosity without receiving genuine reciprocation, Saturn-dominant men often experience relationships through a more transactional lens.

With Saturn's influence, Anuradha's connections tends to be a strong emphasis on 'give and take'—a sense of unspoken contracts or duties that govern emotional and material exchange. This can create connections that feel more like obligations than organic bonds, where love or friendship is measured by responsibility and endurance rather than ease or reciprocity.

Often have a wide circle of friends—they instinctively understand that relationships are, at their core, transactional. To them, investment—whether emotional, energetic, or material—is a form of devotion. They don’t enter friendships lightly; there’s a quiet expectation of longevity and mutual commitment. When they make a friend, it’s with the intention that this bond will stand the test of time, bound by an unspoken agreement of loyalty and support.

One of the few nakshatras where it’s common to see ex-partners remain in the native’s life as friends. If a connection still holds value, whether emotionally, socially, or energetically, Anuradha is unlikely to cut ties. There’s a deep-rooted belief in preserving bonds, especially when the relationship continues to serve a purpose.

Furthermore, they make surprisingly good exes, as they rarely let emotions override the value of a meaningful connection. Even when a relationship ends, they have the emotional maturity and strategic awareness to maintain the bond if it's still mutually beneficial. For them, practicality often takes precedence over pride.

Because Anuradha tends to accumulate a large and loyal social circle, they can sometimes fall into the habit of ‘breadcrumbing’—offering small doses of attention or energy to many people rather than deeply investing in a few. Their desire to maintain long-term bonds can lead them to stretch themselves too thin, trying to be everything for everyone. It can eventually lead to burnout or emotional depletion.

Due to the influence of Mitra, Anuradha natives are often unconditionally loving and profoundly forgiving, offering grace and second chances even when others may not deserve it. Yet beneath that generous heart lies a deep-rooted fear of being used or taken advantage of. This inner conflict creates a quiet tension—they want to give freely, but part of them is always scanning for signs of betrayal or imbalance.

Often exerts a quiet form of control in their relationships—whether mentally, emotionally, or even physically. They tend to guide the flow of connection, setting the pace and tone, often without the other person fully realizing it.

However, when it comes to ending a relationship, they may struggle to take direct action. Instead of initiating closure, Anuradha might allow the bond to naturally decay or grow stale, subtly pushing the responsibility of ending things onto the other person. This indirect approach allows them to avoid the guilt or discomfort of finality while still maintaining a sense of internal order.

Have a network of friends that act as informants or 'spies,' subtly gathering information on the native’s behalf. Whether it’s critical business insights, social dynamics, or hidden motives, Anuradha relies on these trusted allies to keep them informed. Their relationships often double as strategic alliances, built not just on loyalty, but on the ability to exchange valuable knowledge.

The type that would come back after going 'no contact', no matter how long it's been, and act as if nothing happened if you made their life better in some way.

Embodies the energy of the reversed Tower card in tarot—where the true struggle lies not in the chaos of change, but in resisting it. While outwardly structured and strategic, Anuradha often clings to crumbling foundations, trying to preserve what no longer serves them out of loyalty, fear, or obligation.

Their instinct is to maintain control, to manage the damage, but in doing so, they may delay the very transformation their soul is calling for. The lesson lies in learning to surrender to necessary endings, rather than clinging to familiar ruins. This may show up in having a hard time letting go of sentimental objects, where they’ll allow things to either become rotten, damaged, and near impossible to reconstruct.

Could be into taxidermy or wet specimen as a hobby.

Ruled by Mitra, the deity of friendship and harmony across all realms, this compassionate nature may lead them toward veganism or vegetarianism, driven by a desire to minimize harm.

Likely to have a strong affinity for animals, often surrounding themselves with pets throughout their lives as a natural extension of their nurturing spirit.

Natives are also noted for striking features—green or hazel eyes are not uncommon.

Prone to developing mysterious or hard-to-diagnose illnesses—often ones that subtly drain their energy, stamina, or vitality over time. True to Saturn’s slow and disciplined rhythm, the journey to diagnosis and healing is rarely straightforward. It can take years of trial, error, and deep self-reflection before finding the right treatment or approach. Yet through this, Anuradha often gains profound insight, resilience, and empathy—transforming suffering into wisdom.

Tend to internalize their emotions, often appearing calm, composed, and even emotionally distant. While Mars rules their energy and drive, Saturn filters it through restraint and contemplation. They are slow to react, rarely impulsive, and often choose thought over expression.

However, when pushed to their limit, their anger can emerge as sharp, cold, and cutting—revealing the inner turmoil they've worked so hard to contain. This shift can be startling to others, as it exposes a depth of feeling that Anuradha rarely shows.

One of the greatest powers of Saturn-ruled nakshatras, like Anuradha, lies in their ability to never take anything for granted. They understand the value of time, effort, and experience—often through hardship—and channel that awareness into building lasting abundance. What they lack in impulsive luck, they make up for with steady, disciplined devotion.

Anuradha, having learned deep life lessons—both from their own pain and from observing the mistakes of others—they become highly determined to eliminate unnecessary risk or shocking transformations. Survival becomes a strategy, and their growth is often rooted in self-mastery.

[maristrange221b]

I'm sorry, but the fact that Chat Noir's new power is so convenient that Marinette doesn't face the consequences of hiding a terrorist's identity from her own teammates because they MIGHT tell Adrien is the stupidest argument this series has ever presented

And they created the Magical Charms.

I've said a thousand times that the justification for not telling Adrien anything being "we have to protect him, he can't suffer," is horrible, and I disagree. As Alya said in the last episode, no one can decide for Adrien whether he knows or not.

Taking care of him shouldn't be an excuse to lie to him, or to anyone else.

Adrien more than anyone deserves to know who his dad was and the things he did and why. He deserves to grieve for him and hate him if he wants to. Not telling anything is keeping Adrien in a bubble, a little glass box where he's safe.

Ladybug should have told him that Gabriel was Monarch immediately after the fight ended. She doesn't know that Adrien is Chat Noir, so she doesn't know there's a risk of the world ending because Chat went crazy and used his power.

She had the Miraculous at that time, so the only risk Adrien ran by telling him the truth was crying his eyes out. PLUS, he wasn't at risk of being akumatized because Gabriel was dead and Ladybug was there.

She didn't even have to make the information public; she just had to tell Adrien.

So no, I don't believe there was no option but to not tell him anything.

And I'm a little tired of people justifying all this by saying "Marinette is only 14, she's a child."

I get it, but there's a chapter where they tell you that Ladybug is already mature enough to be considered AN ADULT and use her powers infinitely. Even though Mari is 14, she's been Ladybug for about a year, where she's seen more than one loved one die, fought terrorists, adult supervillains, and even faced Su Han and the heroes of New York as an ADULT. Why is it that when it comes to taking responsibility (and almost always around Adrien), she's "just a child"?

But back to the last episode: Giving Chat Noir the power to erase memories is stupidly convenient for the plot. Marinette is safe from facing the consequences for lying and can continue being Alya's best friend and Adrien's perfect girlfriend without any problems because then if it happens again, she'll just find Chat and ask him to erase their memories again because "they know a secret that I can't tell you what it is, but it's bad and they have to forget it."

Only Mari doesn't know that Chat is Adrien, and that's another big problem. Marinette doesn't want to know Chat's identity, so she can't trust him with things because "maybe he knows Adrien and can tell him" is stupidly convenient and only makes me think that Marinette really doesn't trust Chat enough to tell him who the villain they've been fighting since day one is.

At this point, I really can't blame Lila for hating Marinette (look what you've turned me into, writers!) Marinette is really annoying, especially when it has to do with Adrien.

Sometimes I feel like Marinette sees Adrien more as a trophy, something perfect she wants, and not the guy behind it all. But that's the fault of the writers and their annoying need to make Adrien perfect and devoid of personality throughout the seasons. Not even Chat Noir can get a power upgrade on his own; it's Ladybug who has to tell Chat what to do.

And then the episode tries to teach you that erasing Alya's memory is actually giving Marinette the freedom to choose when to tell the truth.

FREEDOM FOR MARINETTE. But never for Adrien to feel ANYTHING.

I'm going to really enjoy it when Lila decides to really attack, even if it only lasts 10 seconds until everyone forgives Marinette for lying and Adrien just says "I love you even though we've been dating for months and you lied to me and hid sensitive information about my family. It must have been really hard for you to hide that my dead dad was the man who psychologically tortured all of Paris and even me, just because he wanted to revive my dead mom who had been hiding in the basement of my house for a year. Do you want to go to the movies tomorrow?"

And I can almost bet that Chat Noir's new power will be used to get Marinette's memories back if she gives up being a guardian, in a very convoluted way typical of the show.

Like: "The akuma caused Marinette to have to give up the box and lose her memories. If we use the Chat Noir Miraculous, we can erase the consequences of the akuma and Marinette will get her memories back."

Or much worse.

Paris found out that Ladybug lied and they hate her. We're going to use the Chat Noir Miraculous to erase their memories so they won't mistreat her anymore :D yeii freedom

[thatbookgirl1118]

I cannot for the life of me find the original post (tumblr is a hellsite) but this was sent in an atla gc:

@the-badger-mole

and tbh i always kinda felt like kataang was weird exactly because of that one-sidedness??? like there's one episode of katara maybe sort-of seeing aang as a love interest (when the fortune teller tells her she'll marry a powerful bender), but then the rest of the show is her being passive in the relationship or actively pushing aang away (like their second kiss). and then at the end she just randomly decided "okay i like you i guess."

whereas aang got a bunch of pining moments and you actually believed he was in love with katara.

and most of their relationship was about how she helped aang - he did contribute to her character development over the course of the series especially as a bender of course but it didn't feel as emotionally/spiritually deep as katara's literal one episode sidequest with zuko.

but then someone else wrote "I would argue the opposite? Kataang is where Katara choose the peaceful nomad which subverts the trope presented where zutara is where she chooses the strong protector/combatant. Aang as a character is a subversion of the typical hero while zutara is like,,, coloniser romance idk"

and honestly... i kinda get that. aang was problematic in a lot of ways, but he was definitely a subversive protagonist, and i can see the power of allowing the woman to choose the pacifist vegetarian over the extremely obviously hot jock badboy. this is an incredible oversimplification of their characters of course, but the point stands.

Basically, Kataang is the ship we all logically want - the sweet, friendship-based, seemingly subversive one. But Zutara is the one that actually makes sense in the story, with these characters, not their tropes. Aang is subversive, but he and Katara are also kind of terrible for each other - he isn't mature or selfless enough for Katara, who needs someone to force her to take care of herself because she's always the one taking care of everyone else (wonder what that's like). That's why she and Zuko are so perfect, because he not only takes care of her, he makes HER prioritize herself. Aang... does not. He's pretty selfish, which yes is partially due to his immaturity (I personally don't count Korra as canon because it treated ALL the og characters terribly so I'm speaking purely from his 12 yo self), but it's also just a basic incompatibility thing. And Katara is actually equally bad for Aang - she enables him waaay too much, and he needs someone who doesn't. Who forces him to stand up on his own two feet and take responsibility. She's too much of a mother, and her relationship with Aang is too mother/older sister-ish.

With Zuko, on the other hand? Katara started out HATING him, forcing him to prove himself to her instead of handing him everything she had like she tended to do with Aang and Sokka. He had to earn her care, and as a result he appreciates it way more and demands way less of it. He's a far less selfish character generally for the same reasons, and is much more mature/has a better understanding of life and gray areas. Southern Raiders is a great example of this - he's down for whatever Katara decides because he understands that there's no one right answer, unlike Aang who simply preaches forgiveness. I'm not necessarily attacking Aang about that either - I do believe that grudges eat away at a person, and taking a life does haunt you, so forgiveness isn't necessarily bad advice. But it's not what Katara needed. Aang is great as a friend, but I don't think he's what Katara needs from a romantic partner. Zuko just... is.

[403tarot]

. . . ♡ BANGCHAN AS A BOYFRIEND – 남친

to start this, it seems like only recently bangchan truly understood the weight a relationship can carry in someone’s life. in my 2025 reading about his love life, i saw that he went through a major heartbreak, and this year his focus would be more on his professional and mental growth. right now, his view on relationships is that they have the power to elevate someone toward success in many areas of life, but just as easily, they can drag someone down into failure with the same intensity. that’s why he feels that relationships need to be built with preparation and maturity from both sides, not just love.

chan longs for a solid relationship, despite the ups and downs that come with being human. he wants someone who can ride those highs and lows with him. someone who, even when going through personal struggles, doesn’t dump all of that into the relationship or use it as an excuse to treat him badly, be distant, or lash out. just as he’d try to keep those things separate, he hopes for someone who can do the same. (i'd say he’s likely had some tough experiences in that area.)

he’s not into relationships full of constant drama or unresolved issues that drag on forever. people who bottle things up, hold grudges, and throw them back in his face later as a "gotcha!" moment really discourage him. he tends to pull away from pessimistic, emotionally distant people, or anyone who doesn’t believe in the relationship, or in him. that kind of energy is a huge turn-off for him!

on the slightly more negative side, even though he has the will and self-awareness to be proactive, take accountability, and make real changes, sometimes bangchan lets himself get too worn out and prefers to sweep problems under the rug instead of facing them head-on. he might hope they’ll just fade away on their own, but by now i think he’s had enough frustrating experiences to realize that doesn’t really work.

like anyone else, he makes mistakes and has his own flaws, and i'd say this is one area he still needs to work on, especially since it goes against a lot of the values he holds when it comes to building a healthy relationship.

i also see that bangchan wants a private relationship. he seems like the kind of person who would prefer to keep his partner out of the public eye, in a protective kind of way. he’s definitely the romantic, caring type, someone who sees the person he loves as precious and feels a strong sense of responsibility toward them (especially considering how public his own life is).

for him, a relationship should be built by two people equally invested in making it work. and he has that initiative, he wants to dive in headfirst and feel that his partner is just as committed as he is. chan’s very romantic and charming. in a relationship, he sees the person he’s with as The One, someone he envisions a real future with (marriage and all). like, he thinks, “one day, she’s going to be my wife.”

he’s the type to get a little obsessed (in a cute way) with the person he’s dating, and he’s definitely emotionally intense. when he’s in love, the whole world just feels different... brighter, softer, more magical. i think he’s one of those people who absolutely loves being in love, loves having someone to come home to, to hug, to share something beautiful with.

he wants to create a sense of stability and trust with his partner, make her feel safe with him and in the relationship so they can start building a long-term future together. so, that seems to be the mindset he wants both of them to have when they’re in a relationship.

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