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the-wraiths-wife · 1 year ago

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I write a fanfiction about Kaz having a sister in Wattpad, named Adjala Brekker. And I just got the craziest idea. Kaz is always the baby sitter for Adjala's kids so why not write headcannons?

So I just made a few headcannons about Kaz babysitting his niece Jordan, and his two nephews Johannes and Kaz jr.

( Everytime you see a mom approved, it means the kids' mother approves of the activity )

1. "Uncle Kaz's House of Schemes": Kaz turns babysitting into a series of elaborate games and puzzles for the kids. It's like a mini heist every time they visit, complete with clues and riddles to keep them entertained. (Mum approved)

2. Kaz's version of "nap time" is "quiet planning time": When it's time for the kids to take a nap, Kaz uses this opportunity to quietly plan his next big scheme. He's convinced they're the perfect cover for his brainstorming sessions. (Mum approved)

3. Candy heist training: Kaz teaches the kids the fine art of candy heists, complete with disguises, diversion tactics, and a secret candy stash. They're the most resourceful trick-or-treaters in Ketterdam. (Mum not approved)

4. The "Ingenious Bedtime Routine": Kaz has a knack for getting kids to bed without fuss. His secret? He tells them thrilling stories about his heists until they're too excited to stay awake. (Mum approved)

5. Tiny suits and dresses: Kaz insists that the kids wear tiny suits and dresses, just like him, when they go out together. It's a comical sight seeing them dressed as miniature versions of him. (Hehe definitely mum approved)

6. Teaching the art of negotiation: Kaz imparts his negotiating skills to the kids, coaching them on how to haggle with street vendors for the best deals on toys and treats. They quickly become savvy little traders. They negotiate with daddy alot too, and their daddy always falls for this (Their dad hates this, so mum approved)

7. The "Kaz Jr. Inheritance Fund": Kaz secretly sets up a savings account for each of the kids, earmarking it as their "inheritance." He insists they learn about managing their finances from an early age. (Uncle Jes and Mumma approved)

8. "The Kaz Bunker" (my fav) : In the event of a "Kaz-sized emergency," he's built a secret bunker (a well-fortified blanket fort) in the living room. It's the perfect hiding spot for epic pillow fights and strategizing. (There's photo evidence -Inej) [mum approved - Kaz's sister]

9. Poker night (ft. Uncle jes, Daddy and uncle Wy) : Kaz introduces the kids to poker night, using candies as chips. It's all in good fun until Jesper's uncanny ability to bluff leaves Kaz Jr and Johannes with an empty stash of candy, while Jordie has a whole lot to herself. Wylan always gives his candy to Kaz jr in the end. Elijah (the kids' dad) sits their and sticks his tongue out to his brother in-law whenever he wins, only to me met by the Lethal Brekker sibling glower. (The mother doesn't aprove of this, their dad does tho)

10. Lessons in lockpicking (childproof, of course): Kaz teaches the kids the basics of lockpicking, with a set of child-friendly locks and tools. They think it's just a game, but it's secretly a life skill. (The parents don't aprove since candy is always being stolen from the kitchen)

11. Kaz and naps : when the kids' parents get back from date night of smth, they see uncle Kaz and the kids in the Kaz Bunker fort, or all of them on the ground, surrounded my toys and Kaz is laying flat on his stomach and Kaz jr is snoozing on top of him and Jordan and Johannes are snoozing in the corner. This, ladies and gentlemen, is how the bastard of the barrel gets his sleep. (Inej has photo evidence) [Daddy and mumma approved]

12: Lifeskills (ft. Uncle Matty, aunty 'nej and aunty Ninny) : so Kaz gets his gang together to preach Lifeskills to his nephews and niece. Uncle Matty adores the mini demjins. Aunty 'nej takes them in sea trips (Aunty ninny brings the snacks) [ pappa and mumma approved]

13. Shark stare classes 101: in which Kaz teaches his little trainees the signature bombastic side eye and shark like stare, along with the lethal Brekker glower, which always has the kids' dad running for the HILLS, cuz they look like his scary wife and terrifying brother in law. (Daddy and Mumma approved ladies and gentlemen)

A fanfic for this :

I'm tagging a few of the biggest SoC enthusiasts I know : @she-posts-nerdy-stuff @ell0ra-br3kk3r-writes @marsconer

#incorrect six of crows #six of crows #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #kanej #wylan van eck #shadow and bone #grishaverse #kazbrekker #headcanon #kaz BUNKER #wesper #matthias lives #divine violence #Adjala Brekker

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cpidscloud · 4 months ago

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LOVEPILL is an 8 member fictional South Korean boy-group under CLOUD Entertainment. The group is composed of leader Junghwa and members Romeo, Hyunwoo, Kenji, Theo, Hayden, Matti and Angel. They debuted in 20XX with debut mini album LOVESICK.

INFO❤︎ group name: LOVEPILL label: CLOUD Entertainment fandom: LOVELIES fandom colors: cupid’s arrow (#ffb8d2) cupid’s sorrow (#540321)

an overview ��𐙚₊˚⊹♡ Not long after SON!C's first comeback promotions finished up, CLOUD debuted their first boy group. Their debut mv didn't have the best budget, as most of CLOUD's resources went to SON!C's marketing and future comeback, but the song made up for it. RUSSIAN R❤︎ULETTE's release did relatively well as COMETS tuned in to see SON!C's 'younger brothers' in the company. Its sweet and cute aesthetics paired with the subtle notes of something sinister underneath turned heads towards them as fans made fun theories on possible meanings behind the mv and song. Their debut stage had a good amount of views for a rookie group from a new company, and they gained a decently sized audience. Their next release was a single: saccharine. The music video had a sharp influx of views due to clips of it getting posted to different platforms for its slasher movie aesthetics layered on top of LOVEPILL's usual sweet concept. As an entirely English release, it was able to reach a larger audience. Its 'twisted-love' lyrics paired with the imagery in the music video made it stand out against their previous release, successfully drawing in new fans. LOVEPILL, as of nowadays, is most known for their dual-concepts; the 'LOVE' in their name representing their cuter, more fantasy inspired concept and the 'PILL' in their name representing their more darker, horror inspired concept. Going off their base idea of a group with dual-concepts, CLOUD decided to begin writing elaborate lore for LOVEPILL that would be depicted through their mvs, album medley films, and album photobooks. LOVEPILL's newly forming lore made its debut in their 2nd mini album SICKLY SWEET. The first music video to release was for their b-side, the rumor. The music video had a distinct vhs style filming and drew clear inspiration from found films. With the release of their title track, d❤︎pamine, their music video lore officially began. It seemed like LOVEPILL was sticking to their fantasy concept, but something more was definitely lurking underneath all the dreamy landscapes and imagery. Fan theories quickly gained traction on apps like TikTok and YouTube, which raised their view count and number of fans as LOVELIES were eager to see just where their storyline was going.

MEMBERS ♡ྀི DISCOGRAPHY ♡ྀི LORE ♡ྀི

♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ

#fake kpop oc #fictional idol group #fictional idol community #fake kpop group #idoloc #fictional idol oc #kpopoc #oc idol #idol!oc #fake kpop boy group

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freewillacquired · 7 months ago

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Q: 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅. bold what applies, italicise what sometimes applies, strikethrough what never applies.

❏ ( . . . ) * 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄.

➤ Matthew Addison

* 𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄(𝐒).

➤ "Matt" by pretty much everyone

➤ "Matty" by his mother and sister

➤ "Addy" by friends in college and at the FBI academy in Quantico

╳ FLAWS.

♔ STRENGTHS.

🖌 SKILLS & HOBBIES.

➤ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘. — @wanderingaroundwithmysoul

➤ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆. — Anyone who wants to do this! ^_^

#muse: matt addison #{ about the muse }

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tayfabe75 · 1 year ago

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Hello! So for a couple of days my feed was filled with videos from Super Bowl and the afterparty and I was like, I just can't believe it can be faked like that. She even posted a TikTok with him. It seems to me that in her world this is just a different level of relationship. So I just thought that there’s no way this is not true and then I came across a video where Matty says: “this show is about what you should or shouldn’t believe that you see on the screen.” I was just 😑 and it got me thinking again. One side of me believes that this simply cannot be faked, while the other begins to think after such conversations. But Matty is Matty and he could only mean his show and this thought slipped through very quickly and I don’t think it will reach the general audience. But it's funny because I look at the video of Taylor and Travis kissing and I think, well, everything should be clear, shouldn't it? And then there this little thought on my mind that you shouldn’t believe everything you see on the screen and I don’t even know what to believe anymore…

Also I can’t understand why she needs this, she can live a great life without any plans to prove something to someone in this way

Hi anon! First and foremost, if you see Taylor with her new partner and see or feel that nothing is amiss, that's understandable! It's perhaps even counterintuitive to see a couple kissing on television and think it's fake at first glance. For me, it's less about what I directly see, and more about how what I'm seeing is incongruent with what I have learned about Taylor Swift.

While I've always enjoyed pop music, I never really got "wonderstruck" with a pop star quite like this (at least not since I was a kid!) Even when I'm utterly obsessed with a band or singer, chances are good that I don't know the name of their PR agent, you know? lol However… Taylor is not just a musician. She's a phenomenon. She's not simply writing albums and touring, she's building mystique and self-mythologizing a whole universe of lore. Each fan is entranced by a different facet of Taylor Swift - be it the music, the spectacle, the celebrity, fashion, easter eggs, lore, muses, or the mystery!

"We think we know someone, but the truth is that we only know the version of them they have chosen to show us."

The Reputation prologue is bookended with this quote! That is how important the message is, that she both opens and closes the prologue with this quote. I must stress: I do not claim to know anything about Taylor Swift. Please understand that when I theorize, it's based on my own personal subjective knowledge of human nature or what motivates us, and I apply that to what I see and hear (of course, I think everyone does this, it's just good to acknowledge!)

You said: "One side of me believes that this simply cannot be faked"

Again, bear in mind that Taylor Swift is a celebrity with access to more resources at her disposal than even other celebrities. If she wanted to create a "simulated" version of her life to throw people off the scent of her real personal life, I don't see why she wouldn't or couldn't (the greatest of luxuries is your secrets…) PR relationships are definitely a real thing that celebrities engage in for a variety of reasons. Here is an interesting list with some more insight (of course, this is BuzzFeed so take it with a huge grain of salt). Speaking of which, Taylor's current partner's PR agent has teamed up with Jack Ketsoyan, who openly admits to setting up "fake romances" between celebrities. If you can stomach it, the next time you see the PDA videos from the field or the club, try looking through the comments. I suspect you'll see a lot of people who aren't buying it (here's a good tweet about how these two were mic'd up! lol) Here's some additional insight into Taylor's current relationship with some stats that might shed light on the "why" of it all.

If you want to hear my guess as to what all the football stuff is about, well, I'll start off with two of my favorite Taylor quotes:

"People often greatly underestimate me on how much I'll inconvenience myself to prove a point."

and:

"Having the world treat my love life like a spectator sport in which I lose every single game was not a great way to date in my teens and twenties, but it taught me to protect my private life fiercely."

Obviously, Taylor doesn't need the money. And frankly, the NFL does not need nor deserve any additional female fans, considering women are excluded (unless they'd like to strip down and get objectified as cheerleaders, I guess). So, what is she up to? Well, everyone loves to call her "Mother" and I think she's about to teach us all a lesson - likely about media literacy and how much she's had to perform her celebrity persona and keep the media attention away from her real life, whatever that may be. I am one of the believers that she's intentionally oversaturating the market to recreate conditions appropriate to launch Reputation… Others think that idea is absolutely too wild or too "absurd" (fair lol)

I think the simplest explanation that makes sense to me is that she and Matty only ever intended to be public for one blissful month so that he could finally attend her shows as her boyfriend. But, she didn't want the heat of her fans on his back when he went on to do SATVB. Matty did not need cruel Swifties making fun of Peanut, for instance. That's a super vulnerable thing he's doing each night his band performs. So, what would get the most heat off of each other's backs? New relationships, but especially ones that fans would love because they were the manifestation of pre-existing fandom memes from circa 2020:

As for Matty… if his comments have anything to do with what's going on with his or Taylor's respective "relationships" (and I think they do), then they're not really meant to reach a wider or more general audience (yet). But the fact that The 1975 are (maybe) about to go on hiatus, yet Matty predicted The 1975 would be the most important band of the 2020's… might mean that he and the boys have some kind of trick up their sleeve! Perhaps their collaboration with Brad Troemel, who helped co-write SATVB, which ends March 24th, I think (unless more dates have been added). If you're familiar at all with the kayfabe theory, it comes directly from Brad Troemel, himself. I'll just say that it's highly interesting to me that SATVB should kick off in September, the same month as Matty and Taylor's new relationships! (If you're interested in a good rabbit hole, I'd check out my tagged posts on Brad).

Anon, please know it's okay if you don't know what to believe! Sometimes I don't know, either. As you might've guessed, I'm a big supporter of Taylor and Matty together. Based on all I've seen and heard, my deductive reasoning tells me they will be endgame and that we will get back there eventually. So, obviously, I'm not thrilled to watch the current turn of events, either… but they're strange enough that I also can't look away lol I am compelled to keep looking into why things aren't adding up, and these searches have been, and continue to be, fruitful. But even if I'm wrong and endgame doesn't end up happening, then I have to trust that they know what's best for themselves better than I do! And regardless of what Taylor or Matty decide to do in their personal (or simulated?) lives… they've both reeled me in as a dedicated fan, completely independent from whatever relationship they may or may not have with each other or other people.

In the meantime, I'm gonna keep studying their music, following their live shows, and filling this place with fun clips, connections, and edits! Even if they're truly over for now, or heaven forbid - forever, I'm still interested in archiving this unlikely yet inspiring love story of reconnection (especially when many big Taylor sources refuse to acknowledge him - like here, where they refuse to name whose concert she debuted Anti-Hero at, or this one, where they cropped him out of a photo from his own damned tour zine! lol So needlessly petty...)

Perhaps this desire to archive all things "Tatty" acts almost like a shield from current events for me lol Here's something I'll suggest if you want some Tatty-related reassurance: take a scroll through my blog... any time you see a tag that begins with "overlap:", click on that to see how that topic relates to both Taylor and Matty. Some of them are reaches! Some are silly. Some just show how similar they are. Others are... compelling!

Lastly, what I can also suggest is that, if social media is upsetting you, it might be nice to take a small break! I strongly encourage everyone on the internet to use the block and mute buttons as often as needed, and to mute any names or keywords you aren't interested in seeing content for. Curate your own experience! Your brain and your heart will thank you for it, I promise!

Hope any of that helped lol Thanks for the ask! 🤍

#answered #theory: kayfabe

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iorekbyrinson · 2 years ago

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BCS S1 Costume Analysis: Mike Ehrmantraut

The story of the grey man, going from light to dark

this has been sat in my drafts for toooo long so I'm posting it, I WAS gonna do Mike throughout BCS but, as you can expect, my brain kind of melted whilst going through S2 haha. I like the writing here though so here goes

BCS costume designer Jennifer Bryan (who worked on BB too) has summarized colour theory on BCS as:

"On Breaking Bad, the colors [showed] the character's journey. What we did on Saul is that the colors put you into your category in life. So good folks, let's say on the legal side of things, have a certain palette, like military colors, navys, and greens, and blues. Guys on the other side of the law, the hustlers and the cons, I had them in reds and oranges, and colors of the New Mexico desert."

The way I'm interpreting and analysing the costumes of each character are on the grounds of alignment - reflective of how the character perceives themselves, with some wider narrative themes thrown in. Less so red = evil, blue = good, more so a character in blue aligns themselves with good. Chuck, for example, is routinely lit and dressed in blue; he fully aligns himself with the law. As to whether his actions are actually good, however, is an entirely different argument.

And talking about wider narrative themes - looking back at Breaking Bad, the main theme of the series was the meth trade, and the character's proximity to it (the Breaking Bad wiki has an excellent resource about how Vince Gilligan used the colour wheel to demarcate this idea). In BCS, Gus's meth empire hasn't even been accomplished yet. The main theme of Better Call Saul is the legal profession - and how closely or loosely a character aligns themselves with their own interpretation of what that means. I'm also going to use Jennifer Bryan's description and various bits and pieces from Gilligould when relevant to structure these themes.

So to start off with - Mike. I'm starting with Mike because I think he has the simplest colour palette (black, white, grey). Mike's also an ex-police officer, so there's blue there too.

Going back to the first shot of Mike we have in BCS;

Blues with grey pants and yellow gloves. Mike's a cop at this point, but he's a bent cop, and his hands aren't clean; he's largely on the side of the law though, so the blues dominate. His grey pants could mean anything, but going from Mike's history I'm guessing its his moral ambivalence about taking an illegal stake.

Check out Matty, who's already matching his adored dad with the blue stripes. No grey here; Matty thinks his Dad's a hero. White too, because Matty's an innocent, but also orange - not because Matty's a criminal, but because he's going to get drawn into the criminal world unwillingly, and it's all because he followed his dad into the force.

Everything from the car dash to the clothes to the Boston scenery is matching here - browns, orange, blue, white. It's a family scene, all the more painful because we know how this ends. It's likely this is how Mike remembers his days with Matty, simpatico, with the tragedy far in the future.

The next time we see Mike, he's about to murder the men who killed his son. I kid you not, every single frame in this sequence is saturated in blue. In Mike's mind, he's pursuing his own law - he's righting a cosmic wrong. Because everyone in this scene is a cop (or was a cop), there's a preponderance of blue also. But Mike isn't wearing his blue on the outside - he's covered up with a coat and gloves. The coat isn't black - it's more of a dark camo green;

Which I think is more a callback to the coat Mike wears when all his sins come home to roost and he's shot by Walt in Breaking Bad.

He's wearing black gloves, which like the yellow gloves before are a marker - before Mike's hands were tainted with crime. In this scene, they're tainted with murder. We also see black a lot with characters who are a part of or become eventually Gus's faction. It's the colour Victor and Tyrus wear almost exclusively, and by Breaking Bad Mike is consistently wearing a black jacket. Black is the colour of death.

Also, amendment to what I said before; you can add green to Mike's palette too. It does crop up again in BCS - an allusion to Mike's military background, where he almost certainly handed out death, but it was government-sanctioned death.

Back in Albuquerque to re-connect with the daughter-in-law and granddaughter he hasn't seen in months, in a grey shirt. I'm not going to claim every scene of Mike can be analysed forensically, but there is significance in grey - it's Mike's "colour" in Better Call Saul (as Jennifer Wyman has mentioned here), and without much explanation I can assume that means as a "grey" morality - without definition, neither one side or the other, the conflict of which is his character's arc throughout BCS. Here, he's a killer, but he's deciding here to make fresh with his family and start over. Still, head-to-toe black. He's not shaken off the darkness that tails him, and underneath that jacket is a red wound.

Upstanding citizen Mike - grey parking attendant's uniform. Lighting ain't great here, but a better look;

Blue-grey uniform. Banal as it is, whilst Mike's working the parking booth, he's on the side of the law. It's miles away from the grey Mike wears later in the episode;

Throughout the episodes where Mike holds his daughter-in-law at arm's length, fools the police about his murder, colludes with Jimmy, and eventually reveals the painful truth about his dead son, Mike's light grey shirt has become a forbidding dark grey (grey + black). Hope to self-hatred. He's wearing dark blue pants (out of shot), again, he's talking with the cops and it's calling to Mike's background.

Later, Mike suits up in all-black to steal from the Kettlemans. No, it doesn't mean death here; he's hardly going to do covert business in anything else. All-black here is indicative of Mike's innate professionalism when he's outside of the legal world.

That being said;

He's a dark figure in the life of his daughter-in-law and granddaughter. Stacey knows Mike's past, but she hasn't fully accepted him into the family.

Head-to-toe black again when taking on some protection work for Daniel Wormald (and throat punches Mr X in the parking lot). I'm not going to read too much into the striped undershirt; these are civilian characters that have fairly limited wardrobes (except for Jimmy), and you'll see the same clothes on rotation. We saw Mike wearing yellow gloves before, the mildest version of the non-legal colours in the story, and I think there's an association with non-violent crime here; Mike taking a stake, Daniel's dealing, Jimmy's car (Daniel's also gullible and naive). Daniel's just getting into the criminal world, but, as we learn later, doesn't define himself as a criminal - Nacho's an ambitious career criminal, and his associations with Tuco have had him deal in violence. But only one of these people has ever killed anyone, and despite the other security guys in the parking lot and Nacho's posturing, Mike's the darkest one here.

#better call saul #better call saul costume analysis #mike ehrmantraut #better call saul season 1 #“bugs why did you do this”#well I just think. it's neat #*tyres screeching away*#listen this isn't a medieval fantasy show ok there's only so much i could work with #and this old man wears old man clothes. we love him for it

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the1975attheirverybest · 2 years ago

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I don't want to be a conspiracy theorist but I've thought for while now that there must be someone in the industry trying to get him. And before y'all call me crazy, I'm a traumatized 5sos fan who was there when people were PAID to spread negative stories about them all because someone out there didn't want them to chart and be nominated for awards. No one knows who but it wasn't an average Joe for sure. Plus, this isn't new. PR teams have the resources to pay journalists to write articles with the intent of damaging someone's image which is particularly useful when they are "competing" against their clients. Or even when a musician says something political, it's not uncommon for people in the industry to spend whatever it takes to shut them up and punish them. I wouldn't be surprised if the 1975 were getting the same treatment considering that they are very outspoken and their album and tour were undeniably successful. I said what I said. 😶‍🌫️

I mean, Matty has stirred shit against SO. MANY. PEOPLE, gotten himself banned from a whole ass country, had a go at imagine dragons (as he should ), criticized Ticketmaster’s price gouging, shit on The Chainsmokers, upset Harry Styles fans, the list goes on and on…..I’m sure that the continued success of the band is not great news for at least one of the many people who got upset by him.

If you ask me, the fact that they lost the category to Wet Leg at the Brits is a real conspiracy, lmao. I say that as a Wet Leg fan!

I hadn’t thought about it as coming from a specific source who doesn’t want the band to succeed, but it is very possible! Like you said, it has happened to other celebs. The truth will out, as Matty always says. The band is objectively great and original, AND, despite what most of Twitter wants to say, Matty is a good person. So, fuck that shit.

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missizzy · 4 months ago

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A Game Novice's Baldur's Gate Log, 116 Hours In: I met Tara! And also some others

Masterpost

(Note: this will definitely contain spoilers for all I've played through, and probably quite of a bit of the later stuff I've also seen.)

I spent most of this week wandering around Rivington and surrounding areas, clicking on characters and having them talk at me, having longer conversations with a few people, including my companions, sighing at the steady amount of lag, and occasionally battling followers of the Absolute, but nothing too difficult. It's been slow going at times. There was even one hour I played where when I expended too many resources and got stuck under the well, I just exited without saving, because there wasn't much accomplished to save for. But despite the mishaps, I enjoyed a lot of it. It even got me to write a another fic.

After seeing a little bit of Rivington and the the refugee camp last week, we started this week by bribing our way past the screening into the circus, much to Karlach's delight. I'm afraid she didn't have that good a time though. When we first approached the stage with the Dribbles impersonator, I even volunteered her to go up on stage with him, but that didn't actually make her happy from the start. When Sara ended up accidentally killing the old man civilian in the subsequent fight, I reloaded, and this time had her go up there herself, if only because I now figured that worked better strategically. Which it did, but the old man ended up getting killed by the beasts anyway. Guess there was no saving him.

From there, the conversations included:

Orin, again, this time administering the love test, which I'd only seen the start of, so I didn't even know it was her. It did feel quite romantic for Sara to answer questions about Gale that were quite easy for her (I'm sure Gale has at least shown her simple images of his tower by now), and I was only sorry there was no way to have questions about her for him. Sara, on the other hand, is now very worried about how much information they gave away to the enemy...

I had Karlach spin the wheel with the djinni, because I really did want her to have a little fun at this damn circus. But of course, she only ended up spotting that he was cheating, and I had her walk away before he turned her into a cheese wheel, since I didn't feel like dealing with that.

Yenna, when I then went back to camp to swap her for Astarion, due to the journal suggesting his siblings would be in a nearby flophouse. Sara had told her at their first meeting her mother was probably dead, because she thought she probably was (to the disapproval of all three companions she had with her at the time!), but she was happy to welcome her into the camp. Also Mattis after returning to Rivington, whom I managed to sell and buy a little bit from, but our gold is actually now starting to run a little low.

The Gur, who further added to her sad conscience when they revealed the bounty hunter she let Astarion kill wasn't working for Cazador. She nonetheless trusted his judgement on the likely fate of their children, but placated them by promising to at least kill he whom she and Astarion had decided to kill already.

Danzo Arkwright, Commander Lightfeather, and two more members of Pigeon Messenger Corps. Seriously, the latter three were priceless. Best use of a Speak with Animals potion ever. I was genuinely sorry when Sara proved of no use to them against the beast on the Temple roof killing their numbers...

...because said beast turned out to be Tara! Who may be a Tressym, but certainly was still behaving delightfully like a cat. Sara was so happy to meet her, she didn't even ask her to leave the pigeons alone. She didn't try retrieve Danzo's letter, either, since it appeared to have been opened.

She was even happier when this got Gale to talk about his mother and reveal his last name, and more still when he talked about introducing her to Morena Dekarios, and other things about his tower that reflected on him seeing a future with her there. As her backstory has developed in my head, I have also recently decided that her tribe didn't do family names, and Tully is in fact the name of her late wife. So now she is totally scribbling Sara Dekarios all over her brain, since it would only make sense to exchange a dead spouse's name for the new one's.

I have also decided (even if the game itself thinks otherwise), that she herself arrived at at Baldur's Gate in her early adulthood not exactly as a refugee, but very much a displaced person, which absolutely is dictating her response to all anti-refugee sentiments expressed to her. Including her conversations with the temple staff, when we then descended from the roof and talked to them about the murder of Father Lorgan, and made her all the more determined to keep the refugees from being blamed.

The longest lull in conversations of the week ended up happening here, as we went down to the Temple basement, got into the cave after I did enough button pushing to seemingly get them in the right order or whatever, and tried to sneak around the doppelgangers at first, but ended up fighting them while trying to steal their stuff. Finding the flophouse key and the murder weapon, we then exited into the Western Beach, watched the Guild and the Stone Lord fight, and then fought the survivors, which got us worn down enough to need a long rest. From there, the conversations included:

Wyll's speech about how "there's no place like Baldur's Gate" contrasted sharply with Halsin's the next morning when I rotated him in as party healer, seeing only the city's downtrodden and vulnerable. You have to recognize the latter is definitely seeing things more accurately, of course. Though Wyll would ultimately gain a lot of Sara's respect when the last thing I did this week was talk with him after we learned Gortash had ordered the city closed off to the refugees. His talk about the city being better than that she knows to be true; she was once among those who benefited from it being so, after all. She trusts his assessment of Gortash's motivations, too.

Sara asked both Astarion and Karlach if they might consider turning into mind flayers. She's making no more assumptions about what the former might or might not be willing to do for power, and was hoping the latter might find it a viable alternative to death or Avernus. I had in fact seen Astarion's response already, but Neil's performance there makes it worth a rewatch. When they both refused, she won't ask anyone else.

Vlaakith showing up to make Lae'zel a final offer, but noone was buying what she was selling anymore. Though Sara's a little disturbed by Lae'zel's now jumping right into devotion to Orpheus, without maybe considering making a life for herself and her coming hatchling that didn't need to be dictated to her by such entities. But when she insisted she could only consider her own future after freeing this prince, Sara resigned herself to doing so.

Karlach's once again getting overheated and thinking she's going to die soon, which finally got me to hammer out fic involving her and Wyll cuddling up. And also kissing.

So when the Emperor showed up in her dreams that night, with her newly decided she's going to betray him, she was pretty cold to him. It didn't help her view of him that he was now lamenting over the freeing of the Netherbrain that he had essentially ordered us to bring about.

After a long and fruitful walk of looting things up from the beach, I clicked on the side deck of a structure right by the South Span checkpoint to see if the characters could get onto it without jumping. Since they couldn't, they instead turned and starting walking around, only stopping when they hit the confrontation with the guards. Sara was extremely indignant at them demanding money for her to come into the city she's a legal resident of, but played along until the Steel Watch robot tried to scan her, at which point I had her retreat. I wanted to finish going around Rivington first anyway.

We went into Rivington General, but most of the stuff was way too expensive to buy. I sold off some loot, and bought a couple of arrows to placate the shopkeeper a little.

Our first venture into the abandoned windmill, we ended up waking and fighting the newly transformed mindflayer. When that ended up being part of the hour I ended up not saving on, I went into the windmill again just for the ring and the XP, and Astarion successfully picked it from his pocket this time without waking him. Then I went back to that structure whose side-deck came so close to the grass outside the checkpoint, and this time, had the characters jump onto it, getting us into Wyrm's Crossing unscanned by any robots.

So far, we've only been to the flophouse. Neil was once again at his best as Astarion turned nasty on his siblings, though unfortunately some of the effectiveness of his performance was diluted by the lag putting things out of sync. Sara went along with his abuse of his brother, but is now outright balking when he continues to talk about killing them to ascend.

Seeing all the locked chests on the second floor, I then decided to try the key on each of them, only for the guy wandering around to stop us twice. I ended up turning on non-lethal damage for the first time so Sara could knock him out. The key didn't work on any of them, but we found the ladder to the attic, and then the wardrobe the key did work on, and the smuggling space behind it with the remaining evidence we needed. I also managed my most fruitful use of the Speak with Dead spell yet, after we found Ffion Goldgrind's body and interrogated her. I considered some fancy way of getting out, but thankfully the guy Sara knocked out hadn't woken up yet, and so we were able to just walk past him and out.

Once I confirmed the investigator we needed to speak to was in the Sharess' Caress, I went back to camp to get Lae'zel, swapped her in for Astarion, and left off after the aforementioned conversation with Wyll. I'm kind of tempted to swap him in, too, though I'm not sure who I'd have him replace.

#baldur's gate 3 #barbarian tav #gale x tav

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ifeverdowefall · 2 years ago

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archive — poem — art — fics — aes — bugs

quotes — February — march

audio — jackles — people

nice things — zingers — funnies

saves — cool — taylor

matty — resource — writing

hs — nh — psych — movies

tv shows — pascal

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eldritchamy · 6 months ago

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Okay so for further context, and for anyone who is interested in a rough synopsis (I say, over an hour before I finish writing this post) of the idea, (bearing in mind I have not watched any Carmilla stuff in actual years and I am remembering this stuff basically off the top of my head, so some of the details might be fuzzy).

Basically my thought after seeing the Carmilla movie was "you know what, this entire thing only happened because of Carmilla's unnamed therapist that we know nothing else about, huh."

That therapist was the one who instigated whatever made Carmilla go back to Elle's house and get her mortality fucked with. Carmilla being a vampire again is a direct result of something that happened entirely off screen and was mentioned only vaguely.

What the fuck is up with that?

So I started asking some logical questions like "what kind of therapist would Carmilla be able to go to?" and "hey what's up with all those weird new reports in the credits where Laura has a bunch of misspelled names like Lauren Horlis?" and "what's up with Mattie's ghost showing up asking them to just deal with weird shit? WHY ISN'T CARMILLA MORE SURPRISED TO SEE THE MESSENGER OF ERESHKIGAL JUST APPEARING IN HER HOUSE???" and "how come nobody ever asked any questions or gave any answers about who the Corvae Corporation were?"

The idea that basically formed in my brain was "how do you continue what is very obviously an unfinished story while answering a LOT of the questions raised by what we've seen so far?"

So the premise of Becoming A Cryptid was that it would pick up IMMEDIATELY where the movie leaves off. (Or rather, during the flight home slightly before the final scene, when Carmilla had time to think about what just happened but not say anything yet). The fic would basically start with Carmilla being very quiet on the flight home and Laura being curious about it (of course) but also assuming that she just had a lot to process.

The first question it was going to answer was "what the fuck is up with this mystery therapist?" And my answer was going to be KindaTV's roughly contemporary series Inhuman Condition. You know, the one with the supernatural therapist that ends with that therapist getting removed from her position.

The bigger reveal, though, would have been Corvae's involvement.

To the best of my knowledge, I am the only person who ever really pieced together who the Corvae probably were and what their relationship to The Dean was.

What we know explicitly from canon:

The Corvae Corporation is a "post-occult resource conglomerate"

They had a LONG standing relationship with Silas University and, in particular, The Dean.

They had a significant financial interest in not only the school but in many of the occult artifacts located in, around, and beneath the campus

The plan left in place in case of the Dean's "demise" placed a pretty significant level of trust in them, far exceeding the trust she had in the Silas Board of Governors (who were mostly just expendable bearers for the four Talismans of Inanna's power)

They continued to pull the strings of her agenda, and push her plan along, even after the Board (especially Mattie) started deviating from that plan and going against her wishes. i.e., they had authority, they knew more or less what her plan was, and they faithfully executed that plan even without being able to deal with her directly

What I was able to infer:

Corvae is sort of like a cross between the Watchers' Council from Buffy and the SCP Foundation, except it's a super wealthy corporation instead of a clandestine government agency. They are very old, very wealthy, very knowledgeable, and control a LOT of magical objects and information from the ancient world.

They are the only ones apart from literal gods (Inanna, Enki, Ereshkigal) who seemed to have knowledge of the Gates of Hell, and they are the ones Inanna trusted with her plan above all others

They are probably from as far back in history as those gods

Which means they are most likely a modern derivative of a mercantile group that dates back to Ur and the Dilmun civilization, around 5-6000 years ago. They probably originated as a group of traders out of Ur (the seat of power for the Sumerian god Sin, Inanna's father) and were worshippers of his. They would have been wealthy and influential at the time, and certainly would have had dealings in Uruk, where Inanna's most prominent worship was.

Now. Why should "resources" be limited to ancient artifacts with magical properties? They are a corporation, after all. Why not, say, "Human resources" (remember: they contractually owned like 30% of the students' livers)? Or in this case, Inhuman resources.

I basically came up with the idea that Corvae had moved in after that one therapist gets ousted from her job, and they take over ownership of the practice, putting one of their own people in place there instead. This served two purposes: 1. it allowed there to be a reason for Carmilla's therapist to have some kind of involvement in things that were tied to her past, and 2. anyone she was likely to get a supernatural therapist recommendation from was probably affiliated with or influenced by Corvae anyway.

It basically was my way of explaining how the entire premise of the movie plot even happened. But I also needed to deal with where the movie leaves us story wise.

It ENDS with Carmilla renouncing that divine spark that Inanna used to restart her heart, and she goes back to being a vampire. This creates a problem for Laura and Carmilla as a couple: only one of them is aging (again).

There are ALSO a lot of loose ends in the world with Corvae meddling in the affairs of the supernatural, and maybe other victims of Lophiiformes trapped with their souls in limbo.

And there was that weird scene with Mattie, where Carmilla wasn't surprised to see her, and wasn't surprised to be recruited to go investigate and solve some supernatural problem.

SO.

Laura made a deal with Ereshkigal once. And she made good on that deal, even at the cost of her own life. Ereshkigal was EXTRAORDINARILY generous in allowing Carmilla to bargain for Laura's life at all, much less giving her such an easy riddle. The goddess of death had already taken an interest.

"All the dead are hers," and she does not like to give them back. But she DID give Laura back. WHY?

Because Laura made good on a deal, and she is a VERY good meddler in the supernatural world. Ereshkigal does not like when the dead are KEPT from her. She does not like when someone fucks around in her business. And Corvae fucks around in her business.

The Corvae Corporation would have been a major antagonist group in the fic. Essentially Mattie shows up and offers Laura what amounts to a warlock pact: I give you something to investigate, something to meddle in, and you go fix it for me. Do this, and I return the favor by withholding your death. You get to stay with Carmilla for the duration of her supernatural life. I solve your problem for you, and in return you solve problems for me. Ereshkigal is willing to offer Laura this deal because, again, Laura lived up to her end of the last deal (no pun intended). She knows Laura is a person CAPABLE of fixing her problems, and she knows she can TRUST Laura to do it in exchange for this specific deal.

And Ereshkigal is willing to make THIS SPECIFIC DEAL because Death is the only forever there is. What is a few decades to the god of death? Everything will be hers eventually. Letting one meddlesome mortal stick around longer than usual, in exchange for all the Corvae bullshit she can disrupt? That's a worthy trade. One gets a pass, for now, because she can put a stop to SO many things Corvae might do that she's not particularly happy about.

The old laws of the Underworld are very clear: the number of souls in Ereshkigal's domain CANNOT DECREASE. It IS possible for one soul to leave, if another soul takes its place. This is a key part of Innana's Descent to the Underworld. She was permitted to leave, but her lover at the time was not mourning her adequately and so he was the one she told the demons that accompanied her to take in her place. Laura would be allowed a few extra decades on earth in exchange for all the souls wrongly kept from Ereshkigal returning to her.

Remember all those news clips at the end where Laura's name is wildly misspelled, and some of them are about weird things like a Fountain of Youth? What if all the Luane Horleys are actually ALIASES? What if they're cover identities (bad ones, but she would refuse to use an anagram on principle) that get set up so Laura can go to strange places and investigate strange problems on behalf of Ereshkigal?

And she just becomes this weirdo who pops up all over the place and is always involved in something weird, and her name keeps changing but she doesn't seem to age, and she's always with some vampire girl who's oddly charmed by her, almost like the VAMPIRE is the one enthralled by this mysterious reporter who just keeps being involved in supernatural nonsense.

So Laura Hollis gets to stay with Carmilla for a very long time, do all the investigative journalism she wants, solve all kinds of mysteries on behalf of her patron, and live out her wildest Scoobies From Buffy fantasies, all while hoping no one notices it's the same mysterious girl at the site of all of these Weird Occurrences. The solution to all of her problems is just getting to live her best gay life with Carmilla.

because Becoming A Cryptid Is Gay Culture.

you know, I really DID have a great idea for a Carmilla fanfic back in the day that I never got around to writing

I wonder if anyone would be into it if I had the spoons to write it

the movie left off with some SERIOUS unanswered questions that would be really interesting to explore, and I had some GOOD ideas for how to explore them in a compelling way

and "Becoming A Cryptid Is Gay Culture" would have been a fantastic title for it too

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astoryinred · 4 years ago

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"Trese" and the truth in the fiction

In short: why the actual monsters in Trese don't have horns, wings, or summoning rituals

Finally the Netflix anime adaptation of the Filipino graphic novel/comics series "Trese" has dropped. It is available in several languages such as English, Filipino, Japanese, Spanish...just to name a few. It is not a perfect work, both in technical terms as well as an adaptation of the source material, but it is worth a watch. Go watch it. Please.

That being said, there is so much to unpack about the series, and I do not mean in terms of the voice-acting and the ethnicities of the persons involved, or just how crunched together the writing is. I will leave that to the critics. What I am writing here is a view as to the real life truths woven into the horror/supernatural threads of the "Trese" episodes, and why these are important. It's because for a lot of people encountering "Trese" at this point, the actual every day monsters of the tale (or at least of the first 4 episodes) are even more distant than the aswangs, tikbalangs, nunos and other supernatural beings that populate the anime.

This will go into spoilers below the cut

Episode 1: The series opens with a train stopping right near the "Guadalupe Station", and some of its passengers being attacked by aswang as they walk along the railroad tracks. During the course of investigating this and another case (that of a ghost murdered on Balete Drive), Alexandra Trese learns that other spirits using this train line have recently perished in a fire or have also been murdered by aswang in league with a politician.

The squatter/informal settler community mentioned in this episode is based on a real one. That area has gone up in flames from accidental and not so accidental fires over the past few decades. Some of the settlers have moved on, but a good many have stubbornly stuck around despite the land being eyed by a large property developer. That area is a symptom of the inequality that plagues that particular part of the metropolis, since it is only less than a mile away from some of the country's swankiest gated subdivisions. While the powers that be are (probably) not involved in selling anyone for meat, they still have a long way to go to address the woes of that community when it is not election season.

As for the other murder in the episode? There have been several cases of women associated with or married to prominent politicians who have died in mysterious circumstances, with some of these deaths ruled as suicide. In many cases, the truth has been hushed up, or simply swept under the rug.

Episode 2: While Alexandra is pursuing the trail of a tikbalang running wild in the city, she also is called to investigate a mysterious series of electrocutions in a gated village. Along the way she discovers that this is a form of human sacrifice to the bagyons manning the electricity providers of the city.

As reprehensible as the bagyons are, what is truly sickening is the seeming indifference of the people in Livewell Village. It's mentioned more in the comics (but also given a line or two of exposition here by the Nuno) that the people regularly offer an outsider, usually a skilled worker in charge of maintenance, to ensure that the bagyon will bless them. In real life there is the callousness that some people exhibit towards essential workers such as yes, repairmen and electricians who have to endure heights and storms just to ensure the "comfort" of consumers. Although the Philippines isn't a country crawling with litiginous folk and "Karens", there are enough of this sort to make essential workers' lives miserable on a daily basis.

Episode 3: This is a difficult one, both in the comics and the anime. One of Trese's cases leads her to cross paths with an actress named Nova, who is later revealed to have had her child left to die (hence making her a target for a specific type of monster). Nova's story is admittedly not easy to deal with and may be considered incredulous, but there are two important contexts to remember when watching it.

The first is that abortion is still illegal throughout the Philippines. It cannot be legally offered by any clinic or medical practitioner. There are clandestine alternatives available, but at a steep price.

That being said, most Filipinos regardless of where they stand on the abortion issue will still consider the abandonment or murder of an infant to be beyond the pale. Yet this does happen. Every month one can expect to read a story or two of babies being tossed in the trash or left in bathrooms---and those are just the stories that make it to the press. There have been exposes about mothers who have sold off their infants to "adopters" willing to pay thousands of pesos or dollars for an under the table transfer of custody. These happen because of desperation, poverty, and lack of resources to support mothers. Maternity leave is only up to 120 days here in most cases, and there are few resources to support mothers with PPD, mothers abandoned by their partners, or those with just too many mouths to feed. Questions of "bodily autonomy" are not first and foremost in the mind of many women who do the worst to their newborns; the question is food on the table for the next day or the day after. Survival is key. Not independence or empowerment.

With these in mind, it is not surprising that Nova is considered one of the most disturbing and reprehensible characters in this episode. From what we see, her choice of abandoning her child stems from vanity and pursuit of a glamorous career. We can see that this is not because she would be out on the streets if she had a child to care for, or because she was escaping something. It's just portrayed as pure selfishness.

It is interesting that Nova is introduced here almost as a juxtaposition to another mother, Ramona. Ramona, the mother of Crispin and Basilio, is an armed insurgent who engages in a ritual to avenge herself on the military men who forced her to murder her own comrades. It is also implied earlier in the season that it was not just murder involved, but that Ramona had also been a "prize" given to the soldiers who captured her. And yes in this context, it can also mean rape. The Armed Forces of the Philippines does not have a shining record when it comes to its treatment of women dissidents and prisoners. This backstory does not justify what Ramona does for the remainder of her screentime, but it does show why she has absolutely no sympathy or mercy to give to anyone outside of her two children. She is part of a cycle of killing that makes any peaceful resolution of the insurgency in the Philippines so difficult to achieve. Both sides behave abominably, and civillians do get caught in the crossfire (or explosions).

Episode 4: Much of this episode revolves around the events in and surrounding a certain police station located near a large public cemetery. We see that the police chief Captain Guerrero has his hands full with cases and keeping his subordinates in line. The cops in the precinct range from the innocent apparent newcomer Tapia to the more stereotypical "asshole" cops Reyes and company. Later it is discovered that the bodies apparently "stolen" from the graves are resurrected zombies who are being directed to attack the station for a specific reason...and it has to do with how the police run their often bloody operations.

The real life neighborhoods surrounding the cemetery have seen their share of violence and "extra judicial killings". In some houses there are still candles and placards calling for justice for family members killed in raids or accused of having been drug suspects (almost a death sentence in the Philippines 2016 onwards). Eyewitnesses and CCTV footage show members of the police force taking part in these raids and clandestine operations. The worst part? The neighborhoods surrounding that particular cemetery haven't even seen the worst of it. Other disadvantaged communities in the north of the metropolis have seen even more deaths of this sort...with some of the deaths being those of children. Google the name of Kian delos Santos as a test case. Kian's case was one of the few to have extended media coverage, and even then the resolution has been rather wanting.

It is tempting to go into the "all cops are bastards" line of thought with this episode, but I do like how Captain Guerrero is forced to interact with someone who he is trying to save in the station, since as it turns out this person has recently lost a family member to this form of senseless murder. Captain Guerrero and the audience are led to remember that these victims have names. They had families. They had lives. They are more than body counts and statistics. That scene is one of the most humanizing of the series, and shows that while not all cops are bastards, there is enough rot in the institution to make it a problem.

Episodes 5-6: I would go more into Episodes 5 and 6, but those deserve a whole new treatment into the nature of truth, compromise, and even gaslighting (even I am not sure how much of a certain character's narrative is true, and how much is just meant to confuse Alexandra with regard to what she knows of her father). The context she does face before those harrowing revelations is a very real one though: things going wrong in a penitentiary.

The penal system of the Philippines is alarmingly punitive and full of inequities. Privileged inmates like politicians do receive special treatment (including media coverage and becoming leaders of factions) while less privileged inmates languish and must struggle to survive the brutal social hiearchy in some institutions. And yes it has happened that inmates have been sent out to do "jobs" of murder and arson in the outside world, often being snuck in and out. A movie that tackles this aspect better is "OTJ (On the Job)" directed by Erik Matti. That one will keep you up at night.

The ending of Episode 6 is rather ambiguous, and it remains to be seen what Alexandra really experienced during her trials prior to becoming a detective, and what her father really did to her and her sibling. We'll have to wait for another season to get to the bottom of that. But if the anime will continue to draw from the comics themselves for stories/case files, we can count on seeing more societal demons and baddies alongside the supernatural ones. And those are the villains that Alexandra Trese cannot just readily beat; it will take a heck lot more than a babaylan na mandirigma to handle those!

#trese #tw:infanticide #tw:gore #tw:abortion #tw:horror #tw: suicide #tw: implied rape

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comiiical · 3 years ago

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I am awake from my nap and more frozen than the real Anna at the end. I am going to open Pedro and Kody’s resources because I have repleis with them. I want to write Wilson, Seb Stan muses, Clint and Reiner, Tanner, Henry, Mel, Penn, Bruce, Kerr, Stephen, Rayner, Kit, Finnick, Allen, Eric, Danny, Elektro, Toby, Jean, Jasper, Gwen, Nolan, Matty, Carlo, Luca, Phoenix, Derek, Owen. I won’t open anyone until I have a meme or a reply to do with them, but yes. These are the muses I want to write at the moment.

#borriquito como tú turur�� ( ooc )#pinned

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whumpdoyoumean · 3 years ago

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A Hard Nut to Crack

A/N: Sometimes when you're in a writing rut and make new friends on Discord, you end up writing crack fic. :) This ain't my usual but enjoy! Be sure to check out the (hilarious) stories from the other challengers @tallbisexualwantstobeloved here @do-androids-dream-ao3acc here @call-me-sammy here

xxx

They’re eating noodles outside of the new Japanese fusion food truck when Foggy, after three days of watching in concern and saying nothing because Matt is a stubborn hard-headed asshat, finally decides to say something. He leans forward, lowering his voice just in case anyone is listening.

“Dude!”

Matt freezes mid-slurp, noodles suspended between mouth and the chopsticks in his right hand. His left hand has, for maybe the first time all day, stopped scratching at his chest. “Hm?”

“You’ve been scratching for, like, three days now. Are you okay? Is there--” he lowers his voice even more. “Is there some awful new wound that’s healing under there or something?”

Matt slurps the noodles the rest of the way into his mouth and chuckles. “I’m fine, Foggy. Besides, I have not been scratching for--”

“You’re doing it right now.”

Matt’s mouth pulls down into a petulant frown and he drops his left hand to the table. “I’m fine,” he says. “No more scratching.”

They go back to eating in silence, and it isn’t long before Matt’s leg starts bouncing, fast, shaking the whole table. His left hand is curled into a tight fist, and he looks immensely uncomfortable.

“Matt, come on,” Foggy says.

“I’m fine!”

“You’re grimacing.”

“I’m not--oh damn it.” And then he’s scratching again.

As kind of funny as it is, Foggy feels his eyebrows furrow in concern. “How long has this been going on?”

“I dunno, maybe a week?”

“Have you had any other symptoms? Fever, headache--”

“No, Foggy!” Matt interrupts with a smile. “I swear, I’m fine.”

Foggy takes another bite of his udon miso carbonara and watches Matt with narrowed eyes. He’s said that before. One time he said that and nearly died in the car a few minutes later while Foggy rushed him to the hospital.

Foggy’s determined not to let that happen again.

xxx

The walk back to Matt’s apartment is filled mostly with Foggy talking about various people he knows who have had rashes that turned out to be horrible illnesses--lupus, meningitis, lyme disease, measles chicken pox shingles syphilis--

“I do not have syphilis!” Matt cries, nudging Foggy in the ribs.

“Ow!” Foggy says with a laugh as they walk into Matt’s apartment building. “Okay, yeah it’s probably not syphilis.”

Matt turns to Foggy as he lets them both into his apartment. “Wait, so your great uncle Percy had syphilis? The great uncle Percy that you got your middle name from?”

“He was a great man! Also, please don’t tell any of my family that you know, it’s supposed to be a secret.”

Matt laughs, but it quickly dies off as the skin on his chest flares up again and he finds himself scratching at it once again. It’s been driving him crazy for over a week now, alternating between crazy itchy and stinging, with only brief intervals of blessed relief from both.

“Let me see,” Foggy says, and his voice is surprisingly gentle.

Matt sighs and unbuttons his shirt. He knows there are bumps, some of them probably raw from the scratching, but he has no idea what it looks like, only that Foggy draws in a sharp breath.

“God, Matty.”

“That bad?”

“I mean, it’s not great. I’m calling Claire.”

“Don’t do that,” Matt says, balking at the idea. He’s fairly sure Claire will not enjoy a phone call from them on a Saturday night. She won’t enjoy a call from them any time, but on her night off? Nu uh. The poor woman needs her rest. “I’ll just get some hydrocortisone cream or something, don’t call Claire.”

“It’s too late, I just hit call!”

Matt can hear the phone ringing a second later and groans loudly. He hates that Foggy has turned the keyboard sounds off on his phone so Matt can’t hear him typing anymore.

“Foggy…”

“It’s a video call.”

“Foggy!”

Before he can snatch the phone away, Claire’s voice greets him.

“What did he do this time, Foggy?”

“Nothing!” Matt calls at the same time Foggy says, “He’s got some kind of rash!”

“You--you called me for a rash? Oh, Foggy. That’s what GPs are for! For fuck’s sake…”

“I’m sorry Claire!” Matt says.

“Look, you know he won’t go in unless he’s dying, and even then...Could you just take a look and make sure it’s nothing serious? If it is I’ll drag him to urgent care myself, I promise.”

There’s a long pause, with Matt contemplating how he’s going to get away with murdering his law partner, when Claire finally sighs loudly.

“Fine, show me.”

“Here,” Foggy says. “Can you see that?”

“Yeah, I can see it. Does it itch at all, or hurt?”

“Uh, kind of both,” Matt says. “Mostly itches like crazy.”

“Have you gotten any new soap lately, or laundry detergent?”

Matt is taken aback at the question, and it takes him a second to answer. “Yeah. Yeah, actually, the stuff I got at the bodega was discontinued so I had to get their new stuff.”

“I think you may be allergic,” Claire says. “That looks like contact dermatitis. I can get you some cream that should help with the itching and any swelling, in the meantime you need to stop using that detergent.”

“Right,” Matt says, desperately trying to hide his embarrassment. “I, uh, I will do that. Thanks, Claire. And sorry.”

“Yeah, thanks Claire!” Foggy says.

“And?”

“...And sorry.”

“Good. Next time you call me on my day off, someone better be dying. Actually no, you know what? If someone is dying, call 911.”

“Got it,” Foggy says, but she’s already hung up.

And Matt has crossed the room and picked up a pillow, which he launches at Foggy’s head, hitting him dead on.

“Hey!” Foggy cries.

“I told you it was nothing! Lupus, really? Claire probably thinks I’m an idiot. More than before, I mean.”

“It’s not nothing. Your detergent is making you itchy, now we know! And we can fix it so that when we go to court you’re not scratching at yourself and making everyone think the defense has fleas!”

He actually has a point there--not that Matt would ever admit it. “Contact dermatitis is nothing,” he says, purely out of stubbornness.

“Look, I’ve got the perfect thing. Marcy uses them, they’re super eco friendly and hypoallergenic. What you need is soap nuts.”

“Soap nuts,” Matt repeats. “Foggy, what are you talking about?”

“Soap nuts! You just stick ‘em in the washing machine and they clean your clothes!”

“...How?”

“I dunno, ask Marcy! But I’m telling you, they work great.”

xxx

They do not, it turns out, work great. Matt did all of his laundry and not only do they not smell clean, but his gym clothes still smell like, well, gym. He picks up his phone.

“Foggy, I need you to come over. These nuts aren’t working!”

“Uuuuh, look, buddy, you’re my best friend but that’s not something I feel comfortable or qualified to help you with.”

“What? Oh! God! Foggy, no--the soap nuts! They aren’t working! Could you come show me how to use them?”

“I’ll be right over.”

And he is--he’d been in the area, because apparently he couldn’t get enough of the miso carbonara. He comes in without knocking, as usual, and Matt throws a tank top at him as soon as he’s in the door.

“Smell that!”

Foggy gives it a sniff and makes a fake gagging sound. “Oh! Yeah. That is not clean. What did you do?”

“I dunno, I just kinda...threw them in there?”

“Did you call Marcy?”

Matt groans. “If I ask Marcy how to do my laundry she will never let me live it down.”

Foggy chuckles at that. “She would not. We can figure this out! We’re two intelligent, resourceful men, armed with sharp wit...and google. To the washing machine!”

They walk to the little laundry space, and Foggy makes a strange sound in the back of his throat.

“Are...are these them, sitting on top of the washer?”

“Yeah.”

And then Foggy starts cracking up, laughing harder than Matt has heard in a very long time. Matt lets out a confused chuckle, equal parts loving hearing his friend laugh like this again and embarrassed because he has no idea what he’s laughing at.

“What?” he asks.

“Well, I-” Foggy gasps, catching his breath as his laughter wans. “I think I know what the problem is.”

“What is it?” Matt presses.

“Where’d you get these?”

“The grocer on 7th.”

“Well the grocer on 7th ripped you off, Matt. These are walnuts.”

Matt lets out a groan as Foggy starts laughing again. “I need a beer,” he gripes, trudging over the fridge “You want one?”

“What do you think, Matt? Yes! Beer me! You want me to call Marcy?”

Matt sighs as he takes out an extra beer for himself. “Yeah…”

He’s going to need it.

xxx end

#daredevil #fic #my fic #my writing #crack fic #daredevil crack fic #soap nuts #soap nuts extravaganza #thesoapnutmattcrackfic

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murdcck · 3 years ago

Text

CHARACTER OUTLINE .

FULL NAME : Matthew Michael Murdock NICKNAME(S) : Matty, Red, Magoo, hornhead.

╳ FLAWS.

♔ STRENGTHS.

🖌 SKILLS & HOBBIES.

tagged by. @demonstigma tagging. EVERYONE

#ch. study |「 the devil's got nothing on me my friend 」#(#everything that's italics are like 'sometimes but not always' sorta thing lmfao #)

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wherearemyglassesbro · 4 years ago

Note

i saw that you play genshin impact, so i’m kind of curious... what’d be the axis and allies’ vision and weapons?

Uh oh...now you got me started. Be warned, it’s a long one cause I have no self control

Some key terms for those who don’t play genshin impact and want to be included!!

Cryo -> ice, Hydro -> water, Dendro -> nature, Geo -> rock, Pyro -> fire, Electro -> lightning

Hilichurls: a common enemy found in the wild. Despite looking like hairy trolls, they have a district language as well as texts, art and song that they share together making them an advanced species!

Ruin guards: another enemy. Giant, scary robot...they scare me...

Knights of Favonious: an organization of knights within Mondstat that keep order and peace :) very nice guys and gals over there!!

Mondstat: modeled after Germany

Liyue: modeled after China

Alfred: pyro, claymore, Springvale Mondstat

Alfred would be a super heavy hitter in battle but his drawbacks are that despite his energetic nature, he’s slower because of the weight of his weapon

He blows stuff up a lot and sets all of the grass around you on fire so if you fight with him...His teammates will take damage from him Jeez Louise!!!

Since we don’t have all of the nations of Teyvay unlocked, I don’t know where he’d be from! I’d have to explore to get a sense for it so for characters that don’t have a place on the map yet, I’ll mark them with an asterisk from now on! :)

Idk where he lives but I do know that he’d be a devoted member of the adventurers guild! He’s always willing to offer a helping hand to anyone in need! Wether it be helping Granny Ann make hash browns or taking comissions to go kill a huge ruin guard who’s terrorizing the town!! He’s always leaping into new jobs! He isn’t even in it for the money or rewards! He just loves helping out!

Arthur: Dendro, archer, Mondstat

Artie is a beast in battle! Shooting vine Aries at enemies to tie them up or temporarily blind them??? Sick as fuck. Keep in mind, Genshin doesn’t have any Dendro characters that are playable yet so idk how they’d fight but I think I can guess :)

Artie is technically part of the knights of favonious because he works in their library. He translates books written in ancient texts into the standard language so historians and others can read what the old civilizations had to say

Instead of having normal eyes, they’re slit like snake eyes. And he has leaves instead of hair :)

He has a little seelie that floats around at his side. He talks to it but it doesn’t really do anything but provide company to a lonely guy :’) he needs more friends

Matthew: Anemo, catalyst, *

It’s always good to have a catalyst on your team! Ningguang is a great example of an underestimated catalyst cause she can do INSANE damage man!! So I think Mattie would be the same way

Matt isn’t violent and doesn’t enjoy fighting so his in-game voice lines would say that lol

Mattie is an alchemist! Well...A student alchemist. He didn’t take up an interest in alchemy until like, 3 years ago so he’s got a lot to catch up on still! He’s doing his best!

He gets very annoyed with Alfred since Mattie is detail oriented and gentle...Alfred is not any of those things. But he still loves his brother and on rare occasions, he’ll assist him with his commissions

Ivan: Cryo, catalyst, Liyue(temporary)

Ivan would be a support character for sure but he’d do a damn good job of doing it

He’s buff but he doesn’t do hand to hand combat, he’s mastered magic for a reason

Ivan spends most of his time studying hilichurls. He writes books about them, translates their texts and acts as a peace keeper when he can. He gets information from them about the Abyss Order in return for free reign of small portions of protected land where they can live without fear of being killed

Because he’s from Schneznya(spelling?) he’s kinda expected to be a bad guy but he left a long time ago. But he still sounds like he’s from there and...He’s super pale too so there really is no mistaking where he’s from

Ivan can’t stand how ignorant humans are towards hilichurls so he does everything he can to advocate for them. He’s covered in scars from when he first started engaging with the beasts. A huge scar runs down his face but he doesn’t mind it

He’s got big, sharp teeth!! So he doesn’t often smile cause he thinks he looks weird

Francis: Hyrdo, long sword, *

Fran is underestimated when it comes to combat (like Kaeya...I see you slandering this man) but he has so much potential!

Since he’s a hydro, he is so useful for elemental reactions! If he’s paired with a cryo or pyro user, he’d totally boost them!!

Fran is a traveling entertainer, he goes between the 7 nations as a singer and actor for small stage plays. He has a crew of friends who travel with him, they’re one jolly bunch!

He always acts all nonchalant and stuff but once he’s in a battle, he’s wild. Especially if the abyss order holds up his crew on their way to their next tour destination “We need to be in Liyue Harbor in four hours you are NOT holding us back!” *tidal wave*

He’s a regular tavern hopper! A very recognizable face since he’s been banned from a handful for getting too rowdy

He can make not one, but 2 special dishes :0

Yao: Dendro, polearm, Liyue

I just imagine him as a shorter, richer and cooler version of Zhongli

He’d do that kick move that Zhongli does with his polearm oh man that looks SICK dude!!!

Yao would shoot vines out and they’d strangle enemies for a few seconds before disintegrating but if he’s leveled up enough, they’ll totally strangle those stupid hillichurls lol

Yao sells rare gems and other miscellaneous items for very high prices in Liyue where he grew up. His shop is upstairs by the Fatui bank. Rich people enjoy looking at what his shop has to fifer and will argue prices with him. They’re getting scammed for sure. He’ll list a set of cor lapis earrings as $50,000 and the rich will be like ‘I’ll pay $25,000, no more than that’ and he’ll take it!!....Cause thise earrings are worth $5000 at most >:)

Hes close with a lot of the higher ups in Liyue and is often invited to fancy lunches or dinners where they discuss policy, contracts and vendor permits. He doesn’t really get a say in any of that but he benefits from listening

Kiku: Electro, claymore, *

Kiku would be SUCH an awesome electo user are you KIDDING me??? I can see it now, him swinging that huge sword around, purple lightning bolts flying all around and he looks like a total badass? Amazing vibes

When paired with cryos???? He’d do an insane amount of damage fr

Kiku runs a small restaurant where he...runs the place...but doesn’t cook. His restaurant is extremely exclusive and people often throw fits when they can’t get in cause the wait list is over 5 years long. He’ll rest his hand on their shoulder and smile ‘is something wrong? I’d love to take a complaint if you have one’...No one has even dared to complain to his face lol

Behind the restaurant front he deals with the Fatui, buying and selling minerals or artifacts. That’s where his knowledge is at, not with food. He pays his staff to ignore what goes on behind the scenes and the locals are too busy enjoying the restaurant to question what goes on after dark

Gilbert: Pyro, long sword, Mondstat

Gil would be one of the free characters given to you at the beginning of the game but hey, I’m not complaining

He’s highly destructive and very chaotic in battle, he can do that spin move even though that’s meant for claymore users

He’s Mondstat’s biggest trouble maker. He runs an underground gambling room that sits underneath a tavern. He isn’t really into gambling but he makes a lot of money by running it

The only knight who knows is Ludwig which is not good cause...Gil pretty much bribes his brother into not telling the knights of favonious (peace keepers of Mondstat)

Gil never got his gliding certificate cause he kept flying into buildings. He broke his nose doing that lol

Lovino: Pyro, catalyst, *

I can’t add anymore images so imagine a floating, red and black orb. Lovi doesn’t get a book catalyst cause he doesn’t read :) That’s the catalyst thing I’m talking about 😅😅

My guy has the angriest in game voice lines, he’s inconvenienced by every battle, every enemy is ugly and a fuckin disaster. He’s just. Angry.

He’d be a super weak character if he needed to rely on hand to hand combat but he learned magic for a reason babey

He owns a flower stand in his country and makes all kinds of beautiful flower arrangements. He even picks his own flowers in the fields when he can (but usually pays the town’s children to do it for him to ‘teach them the value of hard work’).

Everyone knows he’s a total hothead and will piss him off on purpose just cause it’s funny lmao. But then somehow...Their hair or clothes will just...catch on fire. So is it really worth it to tease him? :/

Feliciano: Hydro, archer, Mondstat(temporary)

I feel like Feli would also be a free character, not cause he isn’t good or anything! But you always need an archer on your team!

Feli has healing properties for his team and doesn’t do an insane amount of damage but when given the right resources, he’d be a pretty sick healer

He moved to Mondstat to join the church there. He leads prayers in front of the church and sings in the choir inside.

He is the sweetest and has never committed a crime in his LIFE but he’s afraid of the knights lol he’s terrified that he’ll get in trouble and be kicked out of Mondstat forever! That would never happen but he’s a worry wart cause of his brother

Ludwig: Geo, long sword, Mondstat

Lud is the only one that I could really think of as a Geo but Geos are awesome :)

He’s a hard hitter but has like...No shield so he’ll take damage fast if you don’t give him those artifacts with shield in them or whatever lol uhhhh I wouldn’t know anything about that cause I suck at building my teams ;-;

He’d totally be in with the knights of favonious! (I think that’s spelled right lol) but he’d take his duty as a knight very seriously!! He’s a familiar face around Mondstat, the elderly absolutely adore him and the local teenage girls swoon over him which he finds super embarrassing lol

He has to work hard to keep Gilbert in check cause even though Gil isn’t a knight, his actions reflect negatively back on Lud very often... :(

Please ignore the spelling errors and terrible photo cropping on my part lol this was so fun!!

By the time you’re seeing this, ive already made full outfit red sheets for everyone mentioned above!!!! :D

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