#mascot discourse

[dsauwishfulfillment]

So high I'm googling, "are mascots appropriating furry culture?"

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt II our flag means death but I've never watched it

HELLO OFMD FANDOM! It's the Good Omens Mascot and Resident Dumbass, back again for part II. First, let's clear the air of all controversy!

Some of you lovely maggots were kind enough to warn me about certain discourse about a salad spoon and also about a certain gentleman named Izzy. I was warned not to make assumptions and not to take sides, and I hear some members had to leave the fandom for a while because it got toxic. Maggots. All the rest of you. Worry not about me. I'm here to unite the OFMD fandom! How, you ask? By being so undeniably stupid in my own opinions that you all will have to unite to disagree with me. You underestimate the power of my dumbassery. Well, let's not dilly dally and dawdle, here's the updated summary:

I have been informed there is cannibalism on this ship but it is not real. Someone pretends to eat someone and then their wife helps them fake their death while they run away from the ship though their lover wanted them to run to China.

There are BDSM lesbians, which is honestly such a slay, Pinterest has let me down by not informing me of that when I made Part I. I will no longer be using Pinterest a reliable source in future academic essays.

Mermaid Stede performs necromancy while a song called Kate Bush plays (I don't know who this is, a politician? Idk whether of US or UK).

Gravy Basket is a destination and Buttons is a sea witch and there is educational stabbing. Buttons is then a bird because of the BDSM lesbians.

There is a lady who is extremely beautiful and intimidating and powerful and she has twenty husbands and I assumed incorrectly that you were all talking about a Jack Russel terrier.

Let's start with the controversy! Izzy. Secondary protagonist or antagonist? Good or bad? Kindly father figure or homoerotically charged friend? Necessary death or not? No no no. Behold:

I present a new question, a hot take sizzling from the pan: Did Izzy really exist?

Personally, I firmly believe that no, he did not. I believe that the rum on the ship was spiked with hallucinogens.

Izzy was simply the manifestation of Ed's Freudian subconscious, taking the shape of a human being, vaguely resembling a humanoid potato Ed was forced to boil as a kid. I was a psychology student with a final grade of 99% and I accept only destructive criticism on my posts thank you. Feel free to discuss whether he boiled the potato in a fit of rage or whether he was forced to.

There are assorted Ned's, Mary's and an uncertain number of Jeff's on ship.

One of the Jeff's is an accountant, and there is a nonbinary talking sword named Jim. Actually I'm not sure if they talk.

Love you all, rooting for the show to be renewed.

REMINDERS. Be polite to each other in the reblogs, on tumblr reblogs spread posts and not likes (which don't do anything for visibility) unlike other social media sites, but MOST IMPORTANTLY.

I ACCEPT ONLY DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, THIS BLOG IS A GODLESS, LAWLESS LAND, AND ALL RAGE AT EACH OTHER MUST BE REDIRECTED AT ME. UNDERSTOOD? YAY.

[ainsi-soit-il]

I think some of the backlash about Luce makes sense in the context of Western Church history.

I mean, we Protestants have generations worth of tradition when it comes to faith-based mascots—Bob and Larry, Bible Man, Jungle Jam and Friends, Psalty the Singing Songbook, Sir Oliver and the Music Machine, the list goes on and on. Catholics just don't have that kind of rich theological and artistic tradition to fall back on.

[usercelestial]

some of you guys talk about the general audience like they're sitting there brain dead with drool hanging out of their mouth. they aren't some separate breed of less intelligent lab rats being put in front of a tv screen, clapping their hands when they like something and booing when they don't.

[calpalsworld]

blueys dad is NOT as hot as SHERIFF TOADSTER!

[puppyparkmoving]

I just dunno what else to tell you other than you liking something a whole lot isnt a special interest if ur allistic. Especially if u have other terms for it.

[scrambldmeg]

okay, i’m going to speak my truth here

i watched the cody ko/danny gonzalez baseball mascot ranking collab and i think baseball teams (or any sports team with a mascot) should literally just have a fursuiter design and make their mascot suits

THEY ARE ALWAYS SO UGLY AND DISPROPORTIONATE??

yk what would happen if they commissioned a furry to do that shit?? the end result would be colorful, charming, and recognizable

maybe even more comfortable for the wearer!!

really weird hill to die on but i stand firm

[insert-content]

a summar(ule)y of 196 culture

since the tumblr veterans have been kind enough to introduce us newbies to their site and culture, i think it is only fair that we explain the culture of our glorious former home to any tumblr users who might be interested in the #196 tag. keep in mind, all these things are based on my perspective of the situation.

first of all, some general information (that you might’ve already heard):

196 (r/196 on reddit) was a subreddit with only one (official) rule; "post before you leave." it was mainly a meme/shitposting sub, but it cultivated a large queer and left-leaning community. in protest of the recent api chances in reddit, 196 has shut down indefinitely until reddit reverts these changes.

now for some culture/references that you might come across

spronkus kronkus:

spronkus is this yellow, rabbit-like creature.

they were the mascot of our subreddit. their appearance can vary from images to image, but as far as i’m aware, their full outfit consists of a bandanna in the colours of the trans flag around their neck, a gun labelled as such (other wise you obviously wouldn’t know what you’re looking at), and an axe also coloured like the trans flag.

r/place:

this is a rare event on reddit where the entire website gets a huge white canvas and can start creating pixel art on it. 196 participated by collaboratively creating our mascot, spronkus with "196!" written next to them.

this version of the pixel art was recreated by me as i couldn't find a nice image of it. there were some changes between the first version and the end result, so this might not be exactly how it looked in the end

post titles/"rule":

reddit forces it's users to title every post they make. as most of the posts on 196 spoke for themselves, many user instead titled their posts "rule", to indicate that they followed the subreddit's only rule. some people also tried to make puns with the word or tried to include it in words that shared some letters (example: wor(ule)d).

anarcho-stripperism:

as the amount of cropped porn jokingly posted to the subreddit increased, the moderators decided that porn would be banned from the sub, with one exception: anarcho-stripperism. she made food fucking videos, in which she jokingly tested the fuckability of different food items (fruits, pasta, etc.)

bigotry showcase:

bigotry showcase was a post flair (basically the reddit equivalent of tags) on the subreddit and was later restricted to only be used on saturdays. under this flair people posted instances of different forms of bigotry to make fun it.

eating babies/hungryposting:

at some point, the subreddit started to pretend to like eating babies, which started a variety of memes regarding the subject. even a post flair called "hungrypost" was added because of this

goblinhog:

goblinhog is the most prominent and well-known member of the 196 moderation team. besides this, on 196 he was mostly known for changing people’s flair if you enjoyed him enough about it.

flairs:

flairs are little tags that are displayed under your name in posts or comments, they are also subreddit specific. most subreddits give their users a palette of preset flairs and the option to make your own custom flair. however, in 196 you only had the option to customize your flair during special events. if you wanted to customize your flair outside of those events (which was basically the entire time), you had to ask a mod to do it for you.

punching nazis:

from time to time, the same gif of a person with a nazi armband getting punched in the face, and promptly falling to the ground, was reposted to the subreddit. this became a sort of tradition.

discourse/drama

wasp discourse:

the wasp discourse was a one to two weeks long heated discussion that generally divided the subreddit into two factions. one side said that they were justified in killing wasps if they were attacked by them, while the other claimed that since wasps are just animals, they aren't aware of what they're doing in the same way humans are, and therefore should be spared.

drama about the british:

there was a time when jokes along the lines of "ew, british" became pretty frequent on the subreddit. as a response, some user claimed that this was akin to racism and tried to get others to stop with the jokes. a debate over whether or not it was important or necessary to stop followed afterwards.

pillar discourse:

this was a debate over which type of pillar should be considered the best (ionic; doric; corinthian). i have seen the question "which pillar is the best?" being used as a sort of greeting between 196 refugees on here.

related subreddits

195:

195 was the predecessor to 196, and also was a social experiment with the same premise as 196 (one rule, post before you leave). as the creators of 195 ended the experiment, the community wanted something with the same vibe to continue posting, and thus 196 was born.

197:

197 is another part of the 196 ecosystem and is commonly understood to be the more politically right-leaning and bigoted as 196, as some people who were banned from 196 continued posting there. besides that, the subreddits were essentially the same in terms of how they functioned.

19684:

this subreddit adds a second rule which banned all mentions of sex (that’s why it’s name is a pun on 1984). some people took this as banning all discussion of sexuality, which resulted in a community that was slightly less accepting of queer people. it is currently still up and running as the 196 moderation team wants a way to stay in contact with the community.

amendments to the posts:

u/femboy_expert:

another well-known 196 user. as the name suggests they're an expert on the subject of femboys, with their flair on 196 reading "phd in feminine boys". as the subreddit was somewhat obsessed with femboys, it's no wonder that they became popular.

u/shitcum_backup:

this was the main account of a pretty popular shitposter on the subreddit. although i didn't see them as much in the last few months, i remember them sometimes having a unique speaking pattern, in which they referred to themself in the third person.

u/monko74:

this user commented "Every day I thank god for not making me a r/196 celebrity," which led to many users of the subreddit treating them like a micro celebrity. there are even a few subreddits solely dedicated to u/monko74.

691:

a sister subreddit that inverts the rule of 196, here you would be (temporarily) banned for posting. some time ago the members of this sub initiated a rebellion/revolution against the bot who performed all the bans (roomba).

u/Smart_Calendar1874:

this wasn’t necessarily part of the subreddit, but it was a pretty popular meme. and since it’s getting posted on here again, and i know enough about it, i’ll add it to the post. this user made a post to r/AskReddit titled "How would you get a small cylinder (5.1in length, ~4.5in girth) unstuck from a mini M&Ms tube filled with butter and microwaved mashed banana? [sic]" it was pretty clear that they were referring to their penis, yet they continued to claim "it’s a cylinder," in the comment section. this lead to comments like "it is imperative that the cylinder […] remains unharmed," in response to people’s advice of cutting the m&m tube.

it's going to be very interesting to see which aspects of 196 culture are going to survive the tumblr migration, and which aspects won't be applicable on this site.

i'm obviously not the ultimate scholar on 196 lore. if i’ve missed or left out anything, or said something wrong, please comment it.

[cringegenic]

Cringegenic

pt: cringegenic

Heya, this is the cringe system/plural space, a place for all the systems to be as cringe as they want x3!!

This is an interactive blog for all systems/plurals/etc who are cringe or want to be cringe but are too scared of "What will they say?", here no one judges and everyone is as cringe as they want!!

Submissions are always open to share, talk, ask and all kinds of interaction you wanna do with our blog!

All anti-cringe things send here will gonna be deleted, no one's gonna judge you or anything similar, here we're anti anti-cringe!!

claimed anons

Boundaries

pt: boundaries

NO syscourse! or any discourse at all! don't ask me about discourse, dont ask me for my opinons, etc.

Submissions are always open, but please have in mind this rules before using it:

If is necessary add the corresponding TW/CW above the submission

No attacks, no mockery, and if you're gonna mention someone censor and/or give a nickname, don't reveal information!

The Admin

Oh wanna know abt the collective running this place? Well,,, you can call us 0, Zero or Zer0. It/0 pronouns. An adult (20s). Feel free to ask us stuff if ya wanna!

we are a genicpunk & plurpunk collective polyplex!

We typically only ID as a collective publically for privacy and also if we used codenames or something, we'd 100% forget whos who, so this is easiest! and none of us care haha

The Mascot

Acid or Acidic. Any pronouns, especially neopronouns (hoards them), xenogender collector. Scenecore 2 the max. Zombie/Undead Sparkledog.

[luceandfriends]

A Defense of Luce

Many have seen and heard of the Vatican’s new mascot, Luce, and her friends in preparation for the 2025 Jubilee, a year celebrating the emancipation and repentance of souls on earth. Her yellow raincoat, muddy boots and walking staff indicate her attire for a pilgrimage, one to evangelize the youth in an increasingly secular world. Her eyes sparkle with shells, a common symbol of perseverance in faith. She has not spoken herself, but many young artists and fans throughout the world, both religious and secular, have celebrated Luce through fan art and positive discussion online.

I began this blog to join that celebration, my first post being a call to express hope and joy in the face of online persecution, in which a tumblr user had sent hateful messages to various minorities. A day later, the offending blog deactivated, indicating a voluntary retreat from the discourse. It is not up to us to retaliate with our own hate, but rather turn the other cheek, and focus on raising up those who are in need of our compassion.

Another user recently messaged me with concerns for who Luce represents, seeing that my username and persona reflect the Vatican’s new mascot. Skeptics argue that “Luce” is short for “Lucifer” the name of the angel cast out of Heaven by God before the fall of man. The secondary argument correlated the common themes of violence and secularism within the anime community, therefore attributing it to Luce as well. This statement, a defense of Luce, declares that one ought not to live in fear of the World and its decisions, but to seek out hope even in the most remote of corners of the earth.

Luce, according to the Vatican, is named after the Italian word “light,” representing her beacon of hope to those outside of Christianity, and subtly referencing the Bible through various passages (New International Version translation)

And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. -Genesis 1:3-4

Through [The Word] all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. -John 1:3-4

“You are the light of the world…. [L]et your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.[“] - Matthew 5:14a, 16b

Our little beam of light is not alone. Her friends Fe, Xin and Sky accompany her in official artwork provided by the Vatican, alongside a dog, Santino, an angel, Iubi, and a dove, Aura. Through the humanitarian power of community and friendship, the Catholic Church aims to speak to the youth in our modern and secular age, seeking connection through a shared aesthetic and introducing the Word of God.

In a year of tumultuous politics and increasing poverty and pessimism, let us embrace Luce, who reaches out beyond the screen and into our very hearts, placing promises of truth and hope.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Why the fight for queer rights isn't over (it should be obvious, but to some people it isn't)

TW: transphobia and homophobia

Hi, Tumblr, this is Asmi. If you know me, it's probably as the Good Omens Mascot, which is flattering. I've found so much love and queer positivity in the good omens fandom, and the beautiful thing is how it's canon. Many people outside the queer community don't realise how crucial media and communities like this are. Right now since I'm on break from education, I'm on tumblr for most of the time I'm awake (which is not a lot, I nap more than Crowley). It's wild how different it is from the real world, that I live in at least.

I'm sure a lot of you might have had a similar experience to this: Basically, two people in my life, my bio father and my ex, both told me to my face that queer people needed to stop calling themselves oppressed and how now it's queer people who hold all the power and are oppressing other people. With all due respect, what the fuck.

I live in India, and being a trans guy who is bi and aspec, it's a cesspit. While I'm gendered correctly on Tumblr, and people are so loving and supportive, in real life even my friends who say they support me misgender me 90% of the time. Same with my family. In my previous college which I had to leave because of bullying by both the students and admin, even the queer students would misgender me (I told them I used they/them pronouns, because he/him would have been too unsafe, but even that they didn't manage). In the college I'll join next, it won't be safe for me to be out at all, at risk of losing opportunities and safety. Gay marriage is still illegal. Homophobia and transphobia is the norm. This doesn't even cover all the daily indignities like queerphobic jokes, casual discourse on whether or not we deserve rights, etc. Discrimination against aroace-spec people is rampant even within the queer community, worldwide.

And I live in an urban area, one of the largest cities in India known for its progressiveness and for being relatively safe for queer people. I am privileged compared to other queer people here. The story in other cities, in rural areas which make up most of the country, is far more horrifying. I'm unqualified to speak about anything other than my own experience, but if you can (if you are in a stable and calm enough mental state to handle the information, please put your mental health first) I'm sure there are first person accounts on the many forums.

The fight for equality is not over. It doesn't end with laws riddled with loopholes, it doesn't end even with laws that genuinely help the queer community. Aside from the huge problems of living safely and with access to equal opportunities and resources for people, we deserve dignity, peace, and the right to feel accepted and that we're not an abnormality. And so much more.

I haven't said anything that hasn't been said before, but it can't be said enough. To the queer people reading this, take all my love. We need to stand together, eliminate discourse over who is queer enough to be queer, and be the safe space that the world will not provide for us.

It's not over, and it hasn't been won by a long shot, but what matters is that we're fighting. Even existing as ourselves in a world that tells us it is a crime, is defiance and a step towards making this right.

[pallisia]

I'm curious by what you mean by 'jrpg flavored' in fantasy writing? :0

with tedious discourse making the rounds on twitter i really picked a bad time to use that descriptor huh lol

but it's nothing more complicated than what it sounds like: i'm writing fantasy heavily inspired by the games that i fell in love with as a teen. i think a number of contemporary fantasy authors would point to something like ff7 as a creative influence; i'm just being really unsubtle about it. the influence manifests in various ways, from the aesthetic sense to the tales titles to the blend of modern technology with traditional fantasy worldbuilding. from the, kefka with titties to the mascot animal,

"jrpg" as a term carries a lot of baggage from the era when it was considered synonymous with "blue hair pretty boys stupid story lol!!!!" maybe with the conversation from this year it's becoming an antiquated descriptor. for now, it's the most easily understood way to reference the conventions of a genre that i love.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

04/02/2024 Daily OFMD Recap

TLDR; Rhys; Rosie; Taika; Vico; Watch parties; New Calendar; Fan Spotlight; Articles; Love Notes; Daily Darby/Today's Taika

= Rhys Darby =

Rhys posted a video about his 25 Anniversary Comedy Special!

Rhys Darby's IG Story

= Rhys & Rosie =

Rosie posted a cute picture on her IG Story, and there's a sneaky Rhys in the Reflection Src: Rosie's IG Stories

= Taika Waititi =

A silly sneaky picture from Rita of our favorite director!

SRC: Rita Ora's Instagram

= Vico Ortiz =

Vico's got a patreon up! Feel free to check it out here!

= Matt Maher =

Matt Maher is back to stage on June 1 and June 2! Thanks @adoptourcrew for giving him this shout out!

PlayWritesHorizon Link

== New Save OFMD Crew Calendar! ==

Wednesday and Thursday: # PirateExperts, 1000% Facts! - Produce and share completely real historical artefacts and sources documenting the events of OFMD. Tag @saveofmdcrewmates on the various socials!

== Watch Parties! ==

Taskmaster NZ Series 1 Watch Party with @saveofmdcrewmates! When: April 3-12 (W,F, Su -2 eps each) Time: 11 am PT/ 2pm ET/ 7pm BST Where to watch: YouTube, TVNZ, Channel 4

Twitter Hashtags:

#Quartermaster

#OurFlagMeansDeath

#Taskmaster

= In Progress Watch Parties! =

Join @iamadequate1 for Flight of the Chonchords April 8-12! More Details to come!

== Fan Spotlight ==

= Cast Cards =

Today's cast cards are the French Ship Captain, Daniel Olson! The poor man only wanted to share good bread with the world! Thank you @melvisik for giving him a spotlight!

= Podcasts =

There's a new episode of Never Left! Please check it out on all their socials which you can access via their Linktree!

Artwork was created by Amy Gleason, you can see more of her art @AmysBirdHouse on instagram and in the comic series Mighty Mascots. Our theme music is Gnossienne 5 by Erik Satie, preformed by La Pianista

== Articles ==

== Love Notes ==

Hey lovelies. I know this recap is late-- I am having a habit of falling asleep a the end of the day now, new meds may be contributing to it, so please accept this Love Note as a start to the new day!

Everybody is trying very hard to keep each other afloat right now. We're all staying active in one way or another, whether that's sending lovely letters, or engaging in fandom fun and discourse. Sometimes it's not always fun though. We all get frustrated, we all repeat ourselves, and we all struggle with those things. Sometimes we say things we don't mean, or we say things that people misconstrue, and miscommunication can be rampant.

Just remember that we all make mistakes, and we're all human.

Take a step back.

Take a moment to breathe, go for a walk, go for food, or water, or go scream into the void.

We're all crew, and we do all care about each other even if we don't necessarily agree on things the fandom. We all have our own lives going on and outside factors that make the day to day harder, and we all need to give ourselves some grace for that too. Sometimes emotions get high and taking a step back can help, I know I've needed it lately. @areyoudoingthis reminded me of this yesterday and it really helped me feel more grounded. My brain gets overstimulated sometimes, and it's hard to break away from the thing that's overstimulating it, it's like it wants to keep going and deal with whatever is bothering it.

Just a gentle reminder that you are allowed to detach for a while. You're allowed to take a break. You're allowed to have your opinions, and your concerns, and your frustrations. You are human, and we are all so very flawed, but that's what makes us beautiful. Try not to beat yourselves up for being human.

Take a break, lean on a friend, verbally vomit frustrations into the voice or into a Safe Space Ship. Do what you need to do to get you through the day ok? We all want that. We all want YOU to be okay. If you step away, we'll be here when you get back because we love you crew. Don't forget that, even when tensions are high, we care about what happens to you, and we love you. You deserve grace too.

== Daily Darby / Tonight's Taika ==

Today's theme! Wet and Cars!

Daily Darby courtesy of @fandomsmeantheworldtome!

Today's Taika courtesy of @meluli!

[bucksboobs]

congrats on your famous penis cedric

On this day in history: August 9th

1936: Jesse Owens wins his 4th Gold Medal at the Berlin Olympics

1944: first appearance of USFS’s mascot Smokey the Bear in promotional posters

1945: the second and final use of atomic weaponry in war occurs as the USA bombs the city of Nagasaki. Concurrently, the Soviet Union invades Japanese occupied Manchuria.

1965: Singapore is forcibly established as its own country but Malaysia

1974: Nixon resigns from the Presidency as a result of the Watergate scandal, Gerald R Ford becomes President.

2024: tumblr user TommysTummy dick pics become the Discourse Du Jour for the 911 fandom

[murderofsomeone]

diamond emoji.

💎 "are there any fun facts or trivia that you would like to share?"

oh god I can feel all my knowledge get stripped away. uhhhh deporitaz has no official pronunciation because it's just an anagram for trapezoid he made to not get sued by a different band called trapezoid, so every pronunciation is correct. I think neil should hold a contest to see who can get it the worst

I'm kinda surprised about the sheer amount of people who don't know eighth wonder is about gef the talking mongoose

when ming doyle just started dating neil, he made the video 123456 pokemon and she showed it to her mom thinking it was really funny and her response was "do you really think this is the one". anyway they're married now

speaking of 123456 pokemon, there was originally discourse surrounding the song's "political messaging" which neil didn't even process as political. pretty sure he argued about this

everyone who knows me knows this but mold en mono was supposed to be an anagram for lemon demon, but he realized too late that he misspelt it, making the song a bit more nonsensical in the process

despite popular belief neil did NOT make splendorman, the video where it originates is simply on his channel

goodsie is named that because a fan shared that they had a dream the dinosaurchestra album art dinosaur was named goodsie and he made it canon

everyone knows ivanushka was repurposed into touch-tone telephone, but less people know that spiral of ants and no eyed girl were originally from the same song sample. they are twins to me

neil states in the dinosaurchestra commentary that if the guy in stuck had a name it would be carlos betty, but no last name.

you can hear the (2023) new album snippets For Free on his patreon

the hyakugojyuuichi 2003/forever model of lemon demon is just the album art ld placed on top of a model of hulk hogan. that's why his shirt says hulkamania and also why he's inexplicably buff.

even though it's gonna get weird is the most well known example of neil cicierega working on gravity falls, he made a couple other songs that didn't make it in along with multiple themesong pitches. the only song that did make it in was goat and a pig.

neil loves lying

daxter flaxter is based on a burger king kids mascot named kid vid

I'm very sure dippy fresh is based on the same thing

ok I'm done sharing for now i need to do other things

[abalidoth]

sorry I'm not over the concept of otherkin Pete Buttigieg. the discourse would be absolutely rancid and I want to observe it from a safe distance

DNC headquarters, 2031

“Look,” Terry says, and you take a sip of your coffee to avoid bashing his face in. “We’ve got the polling to back this up.”

“Are you talking about the Gallup polls?” you ask. “Because the fucking Gallup polls are too limited.”

“They clearly show a preference for wolf kintypes in Middle American swing states. Wolves are pack animals, dependable.” Terry flips to the next slide. “United Dakota alone is showing an eleven-point swing for wolf in favor of less common therians…”

“The community isn’t going to accept it. We’re going to lose the base. The base wants a fox, minimum.” You didn’t prepare your own slides, because you don’t need fucking Gallup to tell you what you already know. “Darren Gray is going to bore them to tears.”

Rachel’s been quiet so far, but she narrows her eyes at this, and for a sec you think she’s going to honest-to-god growl at you. “What’s wrong with wolves?”

“Nothing’s wrong with wolves,” Terry says quickly, shooting you a venomous look.

“Nothing’s wrong with wolves until the Iowa primaries roll around and your goody-two-shoes awoo boy is trailing thirteen points behind a mermaid catgirl and a sparkledragon.” You set your empty coffee cup down, now that it’s gone from a welcome distraction to a potential blunt instrument. “As of a week ago, Rasmussen is showing “generic fox Democrat” leading over “generic Republican” by…”

“Oh, sure,” Terry says. “You’re going to question Gallup and then throw fucking Rasmussen at me? Look. Darren has an exemplary service record, two tours with the Space Force, active combat, whole family is photogenic as hell…”

“And his fursona looks like a fucking gas station mascot,” you finish. Rachel laughs softly, and Terry looks at her like a kicked puppy. Kitten. Whatever.

“The higher-ups want us to win back the Harris-Greene voters,” he says, after a pause. “We need to project strength, and nothing says strength like an alpha. The primaries don’t matter, we’ll throw PR at it if we need to.”

“Hey, uh,” Rachel says. “This Gray guy. What are his policy positions?”

Terry blinks. “What does that have to do with anything?”