#masato? no chance | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dirtbra1n · 7 months ago

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he kind of doesn’t know why he does it, didn’t really take the time to think about it. all he knows is that the time read 2:41 a moment ago and changed the second shirahama’s voice crackled over the phone, “what?”

“gonna tell you something weird.”

“…mhm…?“

tashiro squeezes his eyes shut, groggily rubbing a thumb over quick-drying salt at the outer corner of his eye. “just dreamed about hanzawa senpai dying on me.”

“…” shirahama breathes in; tashiro can hear him hold it. similarly, the sound of his hand being dragged over his face is crisp and loud.

finally, he says, “fascinating.”

—

thing is that tashiro could go for a vending machine drink, right about now.

not that he’s bored. the underclassman sweating and fighting for his life across the net is putting up a solid fight, and sweating enough to really make you believe it. tashiro’s having a lot of fun just watching the kid’s expressions alone.

he returns the ball, hard; there’s a sour taste in his mouth all of a sudden. he wonders if the president position makes sadism into a contagion. the ball floats back in his direction. he sends it back with spin.

his point. his chest inflates with fresh air.

could go for a vending machine drink, yeah, but he hasn’t had the chance to yet. hard to sneak out of club when you’re the president. harder still when you’ve got a nosy little ghost creeping over your shoulder about it.

not that anyone’s dead. that was a metaphor. the ball’s put back in play. tashiro’s mind wanders back outward.

somewhere between here and there, points a and b, aka kinda always aka from the beginning, tashiro started worrying about hanzawa senpai, started thinking about him a lot. started keeping a personal score of how many piercings he’s got to compare against the cagey answers he gets when he asks the question, Hey, senpai, how many piercings have you got now? it’s really not about the words that come out of his mouth, see. there’re more of them now than there were a year ago than there were two years ago. eyes on the prize—sharp eyes pay big dividends. you get the idea.

tashiro gonzaburou is curious about hanzawa masato and wants to know things about him.

it’s hard not to. right? he spent so much time seeing this guy who had a network of something like one hundred people in one single group chat to snitch on tashiro when he tried to play hooky. someone who had piercings before and more piercings after, and likes milk tea, and will not turn down a favor asked of him no matter how many other favors he’s doing already. a weird senpai who decided out of the blue one day to finally hammer in that last nail in tashiro’s custom-made president-shaped coffin.

ping—pong—ping-pong-PING—PONG. “ha-HA!”

tashiro gonzaburou notices and notices and notices, hears and sees and gathers and wonders and thinks thoughts that unspool into these big long tangents of thought that might start with ‘You should sleep more’ but end up right back at ear piercings again.

he also wins games of ping pong.

tashiro, spooling thought back up as neatly as he can the table’s net, clocks two corrections to make.

“see the lot of you tomorrow!”

he wasn’t worried about senpai from the beginning, not the way he is now. and that coffin isn’t custom-made.

—

sat with his legs criss-crossed on unfinished stone, knife getting weaved through idle fingers, tashiro watches up the river.

he’s sat a long time before a massive, shuddering, foreign boat appears there.

he’s sat for three more blinks before he hears one solitary CRACK, maybe a musket, some kind of old-timey gun for sure, and falls back with a hole in his forehead.

—

figures that he spends this much time being curious about hanzawa senpai and, out of the blue, as his reward, goes and finds him sat on hard concrete with his back against the wall, his eyes wide open, his hands at his face.

it’s kind of so far removed from the enigmatic senpai tashiro got used to seeing and wondering about that it’s—like—a bucket of cold water dumped over his head, maybe. waking up out of real deep sleep because of an alarm he didn’t remember setting. another last step on a staircase, followed by another followed by another. or something.

hanzawa senpai, spoken of by the devil, is here in front of him, and he looks…

scared. big shoulders shuddering a little, strong arms connected to shapely, masculine, trembling hands, toned legs tense enough to break into a run, handsome face almost hidden in full, half-dozen piercings in his ear, at least, glinting.

hanzawa senpai, who tashiro didn’t know he could describe so well, is sitting on the ground, against the wall, and he looks scared.

“tashiro-kun,” he says. tashiro startles. feels a little stupid after. hanzawa senpai raises his head enough to look at tashiro’s face, sort of. “how are you?”

how are you? “alright, I guess.” tashiro swallows, looks around a little. “are you, um. what’s up with you, hanzawa senpai?”

it’s not really an answer to his question when hanzawa senpai says, plainly, lightheartedly, his eyes sliding shut and that smile pulling at his lips, “I’m doing bad.”

“oh. why?”

the lull that follows feels a little like what tashiro thinks a black hole would feel like. like it’s sucking all the oxygen out of the air and the breath out of his lungs and the words out of his mind and the everything out of the everywhere. the words that follow throw all of it back out, mach speed.

“I like someone.”

oh, wow. “I didn’t know you could do that.”

hanzawa senpai’s eyes are back on tashiro’s face. “neither did I.”

—

he’s home and wearing one less shoe than he was a second ago when a big long reel of spooled memory barrels over him.

he’s wearing no shoes when he says, out loud, “Wait.”

—

embrace it. go into the water, take hold of his wrist before he plunges under, go down with him. pull him into your chest before you can think better of it. let the water carry you down,

down

down,

cold in your ears and eyes and nose and lungs.

feel it all as much as you can. you don’t have the best grasp of dreams even still, after all this time, but you know that this here won’t ever really compare to the real thing. might as well play at being a kettle for a while, let water fill up any space water could. senpai’s warmth clings stubbornly to your chest—he’s far from small, so the temperature feels like a botched seam in your subconscious; pressure from the inside and out, water pressure compressing you to one single, massive point of contact.

not the real thing. you won’t know what drowning feels like after this, let alone the other thing.

they’re fun things, dreams. in a second you’ll start plummeting, the two of you, divorced from the water. you’ll cough, hard, to expel the water from your body, and it won’t really work but you’ll pull senpai away from your chest to get him to do the same anyway.

and your vision will be blurry, so it won’t really matter when something like a sixth sense has your shoulders tensing up. you won’t see the glossy stone you rocket into; only hear the sickening crack.

what you have to do is embrace it all. it’s not drowning, at least.

—

I’ve played a game like this before, you know. girl insists on cleaning up all on her own and she gets—

—

sopping wet, tashiro says, “this is so gross.”

worse than wet, a gnarly broken… everything, replies, “you’re telling me.”

—

the timing’s off.

tashiro feels he wants to be alone in the classroom after school. he doesn’t really know why. he falls asleep.

jolts, pitches, watches his heart plummet. watches himself plummet, too.

the classroom he wakes up to is pitch dark. figures.

paranoid unsafety gets its claws in him. shirahama’s words drudge themselves up. a girl gets what? tashiro holds a broom stern in his hands and swings it around like there’s something sharp at the end of it.

he gives the classroom a courtesy sweep.

after much debate, he leaves the broom behind when he goes to throw out the trash. probably won’t need it.

the cold has a numbing, vicious bite to it. the sound of his shoes on cement and old, dead, dry grass is deafeningly loud cutting through the still.

it’s not his or shirahama’s genre, but tashiro feels eerily like the protagonist of one of those first-person horror games. crunching and slipping, no good foothold. he swallows stiffly; his collar, pressed up against his adam’s apple, is too tight.

this is something he can blame shirahama for, and he does.

finally he puts out the trash. shoves his back up against the nearest wall and looks up at the sky. shadow of the moon, not much else to look at. he takes a picture to send shirahama, accompanies it with a text that reads have u gone outside today

obviously he has. it’s the principle of the thing.

quickly shirahama replies, You’re just putting the trash out aren’t you

You fell asleep didn’t you

I tried to warn you and everything. Stuuuupid

tashiro squints. takes another photo, of the trash bag. u should be here. two thumbs down emojis. he mutes the conversation before shirahama can reply and shuts his phone off again. pushes himself off the wall.

walks three absent steps towards the door, hands to his lips, blowing into them. the timing’s really off. still unstained, tashiro squints wearily at his reflection in the cleaver’s face. another step. he feels his heart overshoot all the way back up into his throat, distantly for a second, at the sound of a message notification.

those claws dig in a little deeper. he can’t help feeling a little watched. he waits ‘til he’s back inside to take his phone back out. hanzawa senpai.

ta—shi—ro—kuuun. tashiro cradles his phone in his hands as he goes back down the hall. are you free? I know it’s late.

tashiro brings his hands to his chest, trying to leach enough warmth to reply. halfway rickety fingers manage, yea

another few seconds of friction against his sweater. i’m at the school still

hanzawa senpai doesn’t reply for a minute. the classroom door clatters extra loud when he pulls it open. tashiro picks up his bag and creeps down the hall for a third time, footsteps either light or muted. at one point or another, he takes the cleaver to old wood.

the notification tone spooks him again. tashiro grasps his chest.

you didn’t happen to fall asleep there, did you?

tashiro doesn’t reply to that text. where are you, senpai?

a panda sticker laughs at him. the location comes a moment later.

tashiro’s looking down at hanzawa senpai standing in a dried up waterway with a trash claw in his hand.

really, really off. tashiro’s been calling so long his voice has gone raw, rumblier, and hanzawa masato hears it through the din of blood in his ears and static behind his eyes and he croaks, so quiet, reverent, out of his mind, “god?”

—

hanzawa senpai, with something like a dozen cuts in each foot, is leaving a bloody trail; it makes tashiro wince. senpai won’t let him wrap the—he’s not gonna admit it but he won’t let tashiro touch him, damn it.

you’d think, running from a flood—taxing, tiring, kind of pointless, a massive pain in the ass—that you’d take a leg up when it’s offered to you. tashiro swallows around something. tashiro does not ease up on his pace.

senpai, though. he’s running like—tashiro swallows around that something again. he’s running like he’s not bleeding out, first of all. like his eyes aren’t foggy. like you can’t nearly see straight through him—this would be funny irony if anything funny was happening at all.

but really, senpai runs like he’s having fun.

he laughs every time his feet catch on something, every time he jumps over a tree root—always pushing up stones, always reaching for his legs—and every time he’s back on the ground. laughs as he apologizes to the faceless people he blusters past, even though they haven’t heard one single objection. laughs and laughs and—

he’s laughing when he goes skidding on cobbled stone and crashes into a dilapidated market stall. curls into himself, laughing so hard that it sounds like something comes up.

tashiro hisses as he hits the ground beside him, momentum skinning his knees.

“come on, senpai, let’s go,” tashiro reaches for his elbow. “get up.”

“tashiro-kun,” hanzawa senpai manages, pulling the less mangled arm, the one tashiro moved to take hold of, up to his face to wipe at his eyes. “hey, tashiro-kun,” his gaping chest heaves, “go already.”

“yeah,” tashiro says, “let’s go.”

another peal of rough laughter sees old blood spat onto the stone. “no. you go.”

he hears the roar of water. he kind of really doesn’t give a shit about it anymore. “I don’t want to.”

tashiro watches senpai’s throat bob. old blood gets older, looks like it’s been there forever. “you’re going to see me cry.”

what’s so funny? tashiro’s own throat bobs. “wh—“

“go.”

get up. “you can’t really—“

“go.”

tashiro, maybe as angry as he’s ever been in his entire life, stays planted on the ground.

it doesn’t even really sound like laughter anymore. “now why did I know…?” hanzawa senpai puppets himself back onto his feet, listing sideways. tashiro pushes onto a knee to reach for him again and crumples in on himself.

hanzawa senpai drops limply into the river.

“no, wait. wait, just—hold on, you can’t. senpai, you…” tashiro swallows. off the ground, his own blood seeps into the stone. on unsteady legs scraped raw, two steps forward.

tashiro gonzaburou, from on high, spits, “god damn it.”

—

he’s lying down in bed when he says, “oh, my drink.”

—

why shouldn’t he get mad and frustrated and have cracks in his composure spilling over each other. why shouldn’t his face fall when he sees someone he cares about dying all over again for the—

he doesn’t even know how many times it’s been. a nightmare is a nightmare is a nightmare.

why shouldn’t tashiro crumple when the moon drops out of the sky. why shouldn’t he stare up at it when he’s fallen on his back, hard, with a stupid, smoking hole in his forehead.

a witness, mourner, undertaker. the only person around to look the corpse in the eyes.

tashiro got brought into it. all of it has hurt. it can’t be helped; if you see someone drowning, you try to pull them up. that’s all.

if he’s been here once, and more times after that, so many times he can’t even remember, then he’ll keep trying. tashiro sees him drowning, and tashiro tries to pull him up. he tries. he’s trying. he’s—

“come ON. please. please,” he spits out a mouthful of silt. “come on.”

gasping, grasping, coughing, free fall. three beats: CRAAACK.

tashiro wakes up with a groan. rolls sluggishly onto his side, grasps for his phone, texts are u awake

startles a second later when his phone starts buzzing in his hand.

“you scared me.”

“sorry,” says shirahama, raspy. “can’t use my hands right now. talk.”

“wh—what are—”

click. click. br-ri-ring!

ah. “never mind.”

“are you hanging up?”

“no!” tashiro rolls back onto his back, resting his phone on his sternum. “had another one.”

“oh, I see. ‘another one’.”

tashiro ignores him, humming noncommittally. “I think these are�� maaaybe. making me worse.”

shirahama sighs, big and drawn-out. he pauses for a second like he’s mulling something over. “…you know…”

a chill rushes down tashiro’s spine like a cold marble. “don’t start—”

“played a game once with a plot like this…”

“dude—”

“really didn’t end well…”

isn’t that because you did a bad job!? “st—”

shirahama ignores him, speaks over him, is suddenly right up to his phone’s receiver. “you could die.”

tashiro digs his palms into his eyes. “you could die.”

he’s still close enough to the receiver that tashiro hears him exhale a sleepy laugh, “juuust saying.” shirahama has returned to his game. click. …click… ba-woomp.

“are you winning?”

another big sigh. “I am losing. so bad.” a thud on the other line. too close, “tashirooo...”

“did you die?”

“she hasn’t killed me but I bet she wants to.”

tashiro sucks on his teeth, grasping around in his memory. “which one is she?”

shirahama weeps, “mysterious older girl.”

a crease forms between tashiro’s brow. “I think… I probably can’t help.”

sniffling. “could you pull up a guide for me?”

tashiro rolls onto the floor and crawls towards his laptop. “do you really think I’m gonna die?”

“well…” silence. tashiro lies on his side and curls up. he closes one eye and goes blind in the other. “probably not.”

massive vote of confidence. “what happened in,” he sighs, kind of defeated, “what happened in your game? and what’s her name.”

a note of longing floats from one bedroom to the other, “mirai.” tashiro guesses at the spelling and completely whiffs it. shirahama’s longing cuts short. “they died, tashiro.”

“before that, though. what happened to them.”

shirahama sniffles some more. “we shared dreams and I tried to save her and I couldn’t. and then we died. they died.” tashiro hears him laugh at himself a little resentfully. “the characters died.”

he refocuses his seeing eye. “what chapter are you on?”

“seven.”

“did you give her the bracelet or her book back?”

“I—” shirahama’s voice travels like his face is in his pillow. “I gave her… melon bread...”

“ohhh.” Her humiliation at the perceived transparency drops her affection low enough to trigger a bad ending, regardless of current standing. “she does want to kill you, a little.”

shirahama sobs.

tashiro’s throat closes up a bit. “shouldn’t have said that, sorry. I’m sorry. give the book back, return the bracelet later.”

face still in the pillow, “the bread?”

“chapter, um. chapter eleven. she really doesn’t want you to know she likes it right now.”

miserably, shirahama replies, “okaaay.” tashiro hears him whisper, I’m really sorry.

click. click. …click. whoosh. tashiro scrolls a little further. a screenshot of the game menu reads, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO RESTART?

tashiro gives him a minute before asking, “in the other game, that was a bad ending?”

shirahama blows his nose. “yeah.”

“did you go back to fix it?”

he doesn’t reply for a while. br-ri-ring! “I was too scared.”

tashiro flinches.

“I just… I messed it up really bad. it was my fault and she wasn’t even mad at me when she died. held her with blood everywhere ‘cause mine didn’t stick.” tashiro’s eyes fly open. blinding, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO RESTART?

shirahama keeps going, “I didn’t leave her side after, but I couldn’t carry her home, too weak, so we both just stayed there. I couldn’t do anything. and then I died. and it was over.”

a little nauseous, tashiro reaches out slowly to shut his laptop. “do you know—mm.” what happens when you get it right? “do you think you’re ever gonna try again?”

shirahama’s voice comes out rough. “I wanna save her.”

tashiro climbs back under his covers and throws an arm over his eyes. swallows hard. an echo of words he wanted to hear just once: I want to. “are you doing anything tomorrow?”

tashiro can hear the scowl on his face. “you know I’m not.”

“it’s not too late. to—save her, I mean.”

tashiro can hear the scowl falling away. “yeah. fine, whatever, I’ll go to sleep.”

he finally takes his phone off speaker. “thank youuu. and you’re welcome.”

shirahama grumbles, “I don’t think it’s making you worse, your—this. just kind of…” shirahama sighs through his nose, “different.”

tashiro peels his arm off his face to stare at the fan spinning overhead. “I guess. see you tomorrow.”

“yeah.”

the silence stretches blandly. tashiro presses his lips together. “good night.”

“mm. night.”

—

tashiro’s still flat on his back when he hears hanzawa senpai’s voice say, dull and rumbly and cracking, “please, god, just make me clean.”

—

tashiro forgot to end the call. there’s only snoring on the other end. kyouji grumbles, “hey, tashiro, I’m gonna tell you something you might think sounds crazy.”

no response. he wasn’t expecting one. “those dreams you’re having are your dreams, and generally I think it means something when you get into these… situations… over and over with one person in those dreams.”

tashiro hardly says, “hrngh?”

kyouji says, “go back to bed, punk,” and hangs up the call.

—

hanzawa senpai’s voice is reaching a quality it only ever got to once, during the last quarter of a tournament day—harsher, raspier, more mean than usual. irritable, impatient. waiting for something lying flat on a dozen broken… back… bones. “I miss when I was alone,” he announces at the sky. a boat horn bellows way far off. “I miss when you weren’t here. do you know how easy it was to die then?”

tashiro, someplace between bored and enraptured, and able to stand on two feet, is carving notches into rotting wood. “I bet I could guess. how long do you think this thing has been here?”

hanzawa senpai throws an arm over his eyes, deflates a little. “not as long as its occupant, I wager.”

—

“ta—shi—ro.” he felt warm breath on his ear and jumped. “d’you wanna free pass to say my name?”

tashiro spun on his heel, covered both ears. “aaahhh????”

the president stood there still, bent a little at the waist, hands behind his back. he asked, “you didn’t hear me?”

tashiro caught his breath enough to say, “what would I want that for?!”

“oh, you did.”

tashiro grasped at his chest. “just ‘president’ is fine with me.” he got a funny look.

“I didn’t spook you that bad, did I?”

“huh?” tashiro looked down at where his hand was rubbing the space over his heart. “uh. hm.” tashiro looked up at the president. the president was looking down at where tashiro was rubbing the space over his heart. tashiro stopped. “maybe a little,” he conceded the apparent truth, sounding a little petulant out of the corner of his mouth.

the president’s eyes narrowed a little, like he was holding back an indulgent smile.

tashiro got back to packing his bag.

out of his periphery he saw the president bring his arms over his head, fingers interlocked.

“I don’t think it’s fine with me, though.”

tashiro paused to take a sip of his water. “...mm?” a little dribbled out the corner of his mouth.

the president seemed to notice before he could wipe it. he didn’t repeat himself.

“what’d you say just now, president?”

realization clicked on. “you didn’t hear me. just as well—nothing much.” two long strides; he crouched right in front of him. brought his glasses up to sit atop his head. went over the corner of tashiro’s mouth with his pinky, like tashiro didn’t already wipe the water there.

he smiled knowingly. “break’s over. up we get.”

“wh—I’m done for today!”

the president towed him by the forearm back towards the last table left set up. used his big, booming voice to announce, “one more round!” to a room without an audience.

hanzawa senpai, from the storage room, called back distantly, “one more round!”

—

another lifetime, maybe, when tashiro through the throbbing in his forehead hears a low voice—electrifyingly familiar—ask liltingly, “do you want to be clean or don’t you?”

strong arms hook under tashiro’s armpits. hanzawa senpai drawls, somewhere, like his filter has gone completely, “is this wise to do?”

just above him, rumbling through him, “what’s ‘wise’?” tashiro cracks his eyes open to see lips curling up over shining, dull teeth, “aren’t I wise? you don’t trust me?”

tashiro interrupts with his cotton mouth, “what’s this got to do with me?”

he’s someplace else entirely when he hears the two of them at once tell him, “nothing.”

—

“tashiro, focus up.” the ball went whizzing at the wall.

“I’m focused…” tashiro grumbled, tongue feeling numb. his eyes slid over the room—each match a brutal pace, the few members who weren't playing dispensing incisive commentary while pulling new balls out of infinite pockets. the room was buzzing and the air was warm. tashiro shuddered to think of going back outside. he forgot his jacket. icicles were gonna be hanging off him by the time he got to the bathhouse.

“tashiro.” his name jolted through him, and another ball went flying past him, closer this time. tashiro’s gaze fell back across the table just in time to see hanzawa senpai reloading the president with another missile.

tashiro’s whole mouth feels kind of numb, actually. “what?”

“I want you to focus on the game.” hanzawa senpai moved to another table.

tashiro slid back into position. “yeah,” he murmured, “I don’t think that’ll make much of a difference.”

he saw a smile tugging at the president’s lips out of the corner of his eyes. “‘that so? why not? practice against me off the record… thought you’d do more with it.”

tashiro’s brow furrowed. “your arm’s like a gun.”

loud laughter hit him at the back of his knees. the president’s arm drew back. “hey, tashiro,” he said gamely. tashiro dropped his weight into his feet. “incoming.”

—

an arm holds him up by the waist; tashiro’s head rolls limply onto a broad shoulder. warmth drips low in his ear, “guess you’ve got sharper ears than I gave you credit for after all, huh?”

—

tashiro figured it out a while ago. that he wants to win, but not the way everyone else does. this much time spent playing against the old folks at the bathhouse, more time spent in club without him than with him, and he still gets a taste in his mouth, once in a while, that says, I want to beat him.

hungering for the chance. hungering for the chance to get one over him.

on a separate layer, tashiro watches a fraction of the president’s face shifting in low light; it’s still him, but different. tashiro drags his head back up and looks down at him. the stranger doesn’t turn his head, but watches him out the corner of his eye.

tashiro watches the eye roll, watches a smile tug at his lips.

the entire thing feels like tashiro’s got this unfulfilled something, playing out this game of cat and mouse. because they saw something in you.

he saw something in you. you don’t even realize you’re idolizing him until—

“aw, hell,” tashiro murmurs, half-asleep, arm aching under his pillow, “did I ever even learn his name?”

—

desperate times. he doesn’t recognize the hand that’s holding the cleaver and he doesn’t recognize the white hot feeling that’s lighting him up. they don’t really reconcile with one another.

yet.

shirahama’d amended his statement:

“well,” he’d said, hand brought conspiratorially to cover his mouth, sweat beading at his brow, “define what you think is ‘worse.’”

tashiro doesn’t recognize the cleaver but he knows it’s his hand holding it because he sees the trembling of the blade and feels the trembling in his wrist and forearm, bicep, shoulder, chest, ribs. connective tissue being sheared by the fiber. he doesn’t recognize the cleaver but he still sees his reflection in the metal.

some time ago—he doesn’t know, it doesn’t matter—tashiro pinched his lips together. “uh.” wet them. turning to look at hanzawa senpai, he was faced with the full weight of his characteristically threatening smile. he ended up saying, under these circumstances, “okay. don’t get mad.”

hanzawa senpai replied, levitously, “tashiro-kun.”

“…but I’m kind of… trying to…”

hanzawa senpai cut in, levitously, “tashiro-kun.”

“…get you before the water does?”

senpai closed his eyes.

senpai covered his face.

senpai… sighed. “tashiro.”

“…yeah?”

“come here, please.”

“got it.”

tashiro took an unsteady step forward. took another one. stood before hanzawa senpai, kneeling on the ground, and got a dizzying feeling of déjà vu.

hanzawa senpai looked up at him with a weird look on his face. “you need to kneel down, don’t you?”

a couple moments ago, tashiro still felt like this was out of his hands. he knelt. hanzawa senpai took one of those steadying breaths that tashiro is supposed to take before a serve and has yet to follow through on.

“okay, tashiro-kun,” he says pointedly, now, in a funny kind of way, “don’t get mad.”

it’s like a shutter had gone up. tashiro can’t figure out why he would ever be mad. ‘mad’ couldn’t begin to cover any of this.

senpai has got that damn look in his eyes now, too many moving parts; self loathing and good humor, anger and pity and hurt. he asks skeptically, like it’s been weighing on him, “you couldn’t use a normal knife?”

tashiro wants to tell him, it wouldn’t be enough, this’ll be faster. you’re like livestock. that’s not right, sorry. prey?

senpai looks at him dubiously, filmy glaze creeping in over his eyes.

tashiro wants to tell him, you don’t trust me. I’m better with this thing than I look, I’ll show you. it’ll tell me something, so give me the worst you’ve got.

the breath catches on something in his throat. whatever listless feeling he had a moment ago plunks dully into the water.

tashiro tells him, “just watch.”

the instant he wakes up, confident he’d be awake even still, tashiro calls him raspy-voiced. “there weren’t any endings where you killed her to save her, right?”

“man,” says shirahama, muffled, distressed, “do you remember ‘hey’?”

—

“look at you, tashiro,” the arm curling just under his hip trembles for a second. “tall enough now that I have to really hoist you to keep you off the ground.”

tashiro pulls an eye open.

all he sees is skin. he heaves a sigh and feels a jolt run up the body carrying him so vividly it pings in his brain as plain electricity.

“...figure yourself a tease these days, huh?”

tashiro swallows down around the cotton in his mouth enough to say, “nope.”

lifting his head’s a chore, but he does it anyway—hanzawa senpai’s thrown over the other shoulder, sack-style.

“hm,” tashiro says.

“don’t wanna hear any accusations of favoritism.”

bullet hole be damned, tashiro drops his head back onto its perch. thinks about blood and brain gunk staining an otherwise pristine uniform.

un-damning the bullet hole, “your favoritism looks a little funny to me.”

the quarter of a face he can see smiles a little. “you can handle a little cruelty from me, can’t you?”

tashiro squints at him. before he gets a chance to stitch together a response—feels like thoughts are just spilling out his forehead and onto the ground—hanzawa senpai groans, “let me off here.”

rumbling through them both, “hmmm?”

hanzawa senpai laughs, then sighs like he hadn’t meant to. “...please.”

the hum that means half-hearted consideration. “almost there. request denied.”

tashiro chokes on his own laughter when hanzawa senpai replies weakly, “damn you.”

—

talking to the train tracks, tashiro announces, “I think something is really wrong.”

shirahama only replies, “congratulations on finally hitting puberty.”

—

“hup!” tashiro watches hanzawa senpai fall bonelessly into the bath.

lasts only until he emerges with a little kid’s wet cough before laughing hard enough to push tears out his eyes.

warmth poured over itself again in his ear, “nope, you aren’t safe eith—”

“AUH!” water’s hot. he resurfaces. wiping his hair off his forehead, he asks blandly, “is something funny, senpai?”

hanzawa senpai squeaks a little, gripping his stomach where he kneels in the water. his own hair has already been swept back. their catapult stands triumphant with his hands on his hips. the stains on his clothes are apparently a nonissue. the only indication of exertion is a shudder that runs up from his feet and shakes the sweat-matted hair on his head.

tashiro experiences a feeling of clarity so strong watching the two of them that it knocks him on his ass.

“now then,” tashiro and hanzawa senpai watch him reach over his head to tug at the neckline of his uniform shirt. it comes off in one motion after that. “should be for the best that you two make way…!”

—

there’s a sign over hanzawa senpai’s head. if tashiro squints—it’s a dusty ditch-sign and the evening’s only getting dimmer—he can barely make out the words NO DIVING.

—

“you’re not supposed to use soap here.”

“ask your senpai if he wants to get out to actually clean himself up before nagging me, you.”

hanzawa senpai, dropping his head back onto the elbow he’s got resting on the ledge, groans.

tashiro’s head is lying on—

“could I call you ‘president’ once?”

his face twitches, amused, “if you really want to.”

—the president’s forearm. there is the occasional muscle tremor. tashiro feels no particular way about this.

he stares up at nothing.

no time or tolerance for musing, the president cups water in his hand and dumps it on tashiro’s face, stubbornly brushing his bangs back down. “now if you’d just close your eyeees…”

tashiro pushes his face back ‘til his elbow locks. the president just guffaws.

stretching his neck, the president sings, “ought to see about a change of clothes, huh…” tashiro watches him climb out of the bath with exaggerated effort. pretends he isn’t watching when the president massages his shoulder. he vanishes around a corner.

hanzawa senpai has got his wide eyes on when tashiro turns his head. startles him so bad he slips up to his neck in the water.

“am I some kind of clown to you, senpai?”

senpai wipes his eyes, “only the best one.”

tashiro lets his eyes fall shut and sighs. “are you alive yet?”

long pause. tashiro squints an eye to see hanzawa senpai pinching his lips. “...hold still for a second.” tashiro’s eyes fly open as hanzawa senpai takes his more busted hand to brush up tashiro’s bangs. “I suppose so.” he takes a finger and flicks tashiro’s forehead dead center. “you’re back in one piece, after all.”

tashiro can really only hear static anymore. “huh?”

“self-indulgence. you should be proud of me.” a towel gets dropped over his eyes. “I think he’s been boiled enough, don’t you?”

strong arms hook under his armpits; déjà vu as a feeling moves quick. the tile’s cold.

the president crouches to lean over him, takes his towel and chucks it. in snapshots, tashiro watches his hand lift off the ground, reach upward, be taken. in an instant, “welcome back to the world of the living, tashiro.” a snapshot: tashiro’s wrist, between jaws, and a crunch.

—

“hey,” tashiro says.

shirahama groans affirmatively.

is this something I should say out loud?

YES / NO

“do you think I should’ve touched the president?”

shirahama goes stiff.

“like not in a weird way. I’ve just been dreaming some more stuff lately.”

shirahama sits up to look at him. he has tears in his eyes. “can you give me like twenty minutes to pretend I’m dead.”

“I think I’m just really touch-starved.”

“Please.”

—

if it’s a contagion, tashiro is so, so sick.

old man kumano-san asks him, "say, tashiro... what’s got you gripping the paddle like that?"

he doesn't look down at it to swing it right again. sheepishly, he coughs, "cosplaying the meat guy at the supermarket."

—

“ain't enough for you to just let me haunt you, huh, tashiro?”

tashiro shifts his feet, squints, exasperated, across the table. “I can’t just take it lying down forever, you know.”

the table rattles. tashiro hasn’t ever felt his heart pound like this. he’s asked: “spoiling for a fight?”

“...not any more than before, I guess.”

the ball bounds over the net—tashiro returns it, narrowly; caught off guard.

dull teeth grin sharply at him. “bzzt.” his eyes are shining with something. “try that again.”

tashiro drops out of a dream at the bathhouse in worse shape than he's ever been at that river.

he clears sleep gunk out of his throat. purses his lips. dreamed he was at the bathhouse, at the bathhouse. feels, right now, like a squeezed lime.

he doesn’t remember who won. he doesn't know who he wants to have won.

"tashiro,” yamada-san says flatly, “I told you to get a move on already. look at the time!"

"yeah, yeah," tashiro groans. yamada-san—just before standing from where he was sat keeping vigil over him, apparently—balances a milk carton, still cool, on his forehead.

"get home quick. and, ah, good luck tomorrow," he says.

tashiro, saluting at the ceiling, replies, "...roger."

—

over the bustle beyond the open window, tashiro finds himself saying, to no one in particular, “did you know that heat makes you dream weird?”

miyano, to his right, looks at him with massive doll eyes. kuresawa, to his left, fixes him with a stare over his glasses before going back to his phone.

hanzawa senpai, dead center, looks down at him, hands ghosting over his neck where he was ‘evening his complexion’ a second ago, before tashiro went and opened his mouth, and he says, “really?”

like it’s news.

something in his throat keeps down a disbelieving you didn’t know?

tashiro catches his eye. squints hard. something shutters where he can’t see.

“hmmm?”

tashiro throws his head back with an exasperated sigh, and the extensions whip down his—

“senpai,” tashiro calls, louder than the music outside, it feels like, “what were the parts of the spine called again?”

“pfft,” hanzawa senpai, behind him now, murmurs like he doesn’t mean to, “they’re called vertebrae.”

fingers poke lightheartedly where bone juts. tashiro’s in a glass jar, and he flinches.

“gon-chan,” kuresawa chides disingenuously, standing to stretch his back and head for the door, “ladies tend to have more poise.”

miyano, in his periphery, blinks for the first time. he brings a hand to his chin, nods. “pretty good appeal.”

probably bl. tashiro poses with a hand on his cheek and says, “thanks, miyano.”

—

tashiro’s phone pings with a message from shirahama that reads, If you do anything to screw up your hair I’m shaving it all off your head

ping. And making you eat it

ping. Keep one foot on the ground at all times if you do anything insane I’m really gonna do it

tashiro purses his lips. glances out the open window; first floor.

the picture he takes of his feet, hovering as he sits on the windowsill and clad in black crew socks—he left the shoes somewhere else, he figures miyano will chase him down about them later—is waiting to be sent with incomplete text suck i when he spots someone out the very corner of his vision.

the very corner. an unmistakable figure at the edge of the crowd, staring over the living mass of strangers, right into tashiro stood in the window, until he isn’t anymore.

funny thing about crossdressing, see, is the worldview shift. that broad back looks broader, a piece-of-work senpai haunting his memory like a grief-hallucination.

that was him though. there are only so many people tashiro could recognize from the moon and he’s one of them. how many people in the world could possibly look like that.

it’s a second of stirring in his stomach that bridges the space between shoujo manga and violent murder. his feet are back on the ground but they might as well be dangling out the window; an impulse in the shape of today you are a girl has him gripped by the shoulders, nearly chasing after a living ghost and using strangers as stepping stones to do it.

one foot on the ground with his hands braced on the sill, he hears, “tashiro.”

sky still looks like rain. indistinct collective murmur hangs over the crowd outside like smog. a metal rod’s pang clefts clean through his forehead, up between his eyes. taiko drums. dwarfed by encroaching shadow miyano calls again, “tashiro,” from down the hall. tashiro’s shoes dangle limply from his hands.

thundering resonance. tashiro croaks, “what?”

—

“hey, senpai,” tashiro calls, “where’s, uh. where’s the coffin?”

hanzawa senpai points factually at the water. “go after it, if you want.” he smiles at him; a chill zips down tashiro’s… vertebrae. “maybe you’ll catch him this time.”

—

“—this vision of a lost lover. and she goes running after him, obviously, because he moved away when they were kids or whatever. and she missed him sooo bad, so she’s really hoofing it down the stairs and out the front gate and she’s only delicately out of breath, after the whole thing, which I thought was kinda stupid, but whatever. he’s standing a block away, staring back at her over his shoul—tashiro what are you doing?”

tashiro points at shirahama’s window over the crowd and waves him off. he huffs into the receiver, “I’ll be back in time.” he hangs up the call.

he’s standing two blocks away.

tashiro calls, “could you slow down? please?”

the president tilts his head and grins at him. “haven’t moved much at all, just now.”

he’s standing a block and a half away.

the president’s voice carries like it’s nothing, “you look pretty cute today.”

one block. now or never, “hey, president.”

the lopsided grin widens affectionately. “not the president anymore.”

tell me your name for real this time. it’s not really fine with me either. “have you, uh. been dreaming about anyone lately?”

the president’s shoulders shake, lips splitting impossibly wider. his eyes shine. tashiro hears thunder. “nooope.”

#hanzawa to tashiro #hey if you read the tags first This is about seven thousand words long. are you proud of me #tashiro gonzaburou #hanzawa masato #and our friend prev prez (nameless). no thematic value there #shirahama also. lot of him here i like him and tashiro a lot #shirahama kyouji #hanzashiro #dirtbrain writing #okay that one specifically out of the way. Happy Birthday Tashiro Gonzaburou #it’s only been. like over a year. whatever #i was having fun writing this. please be exorcised efficiently. Go in peace #i’ll surely be back with forgotten tags later. i love you though #never forget that

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maythevoidnotscreamback · 5 months ago

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My outrage given voice: The Shittenou were done so dirty!

It's very damn annoying to me and I hate it! Why the hell were the Shittenou not given a chance for a 'normal' life like Usagi wished for in the 90's anime; especially with the implication of the time of the first season repeating for the second and thus meant that they hadn't been nabbed for Beryl's/Metallia's purposes? Or even in the manga/reboot rather than kept as the stones they became after their deaths?

Like, what thoughts went into that? Why were the various relationships of the Shittenou changed so drastically, and not just between each other but their Prince and their Love Interests too? Especially when Mamo got a, technically, third chance to be with Usa after the first season's finale. The girls themselves have other love interests, I know, but you'd think that they'd at least be given the option to see if they were still compatible and part (hopefully) amicably if they weren't, rather than just have the view that they'll never have love or even a family. And, no, I don't count the "Parallel" world of the manga because it seems that they're right proper clones of their mothers rather than their own persons with thoughts, feelings and dreams like Chibi is. Yes, she's annoying and a frickin' Obnoxious Brat, but at least with that we know she's not Usa's clone just with pink hair and red eyes.

I remember watching the show growing up and never, not once, thinking they used to be love interests of the Senshi during the SilMil. Just that they were at the front of the invading army once that episode aired. Not to mention how my perceptions were fucked with beforehand because two of the four were in a relationship with each other (after one of them had been 'gender-bent'. Just...why?!) and a third was romancing a side character that had disappeared after the one episode she was in during the third season. Hell, the only reason I found out Sen/Shi was a Thing was due to the internet a while after watching the 'last' (for the North America viewing audience) episode of the fourth season. That pissed me right the fuck off.

I believe that shouldn't have happened. They could've done so much foreshadowing, maybe even a bit of character development, about the tragedy that would've been the Shittenou being killed off as the season went on once the SilMil's Last Day came about.

Like, think about it.

With Jad's constant disguises and schemes, it could've been that Rei, being a trained Miko, always seemed to find and flirt with him, because he was cute no matter his disguises, and then get mad about it because why?! is it always him?! she does that with?! The fuck?! And Jad's just like, 'How the hell does she keep doing this?!' before putting together that she must be an informer to the Senshi with the way they always show up when she does so he tries to keep her distracted in one form or another so his youma can do its job because she's too passionate and fiery to want to hurt or drain despite getting in his way so much. Beryl actually kills him off after his showdown with the Senshi, not listening when he says how he knows who they are, instead of being iced for his constant failures. (I never did get why he was singled out like that.)

With Neph's civilian identity of Sanjoin Masato, instead of Naru being the 'victim' of his 'manipulations', Makoto could've been brought in earlier and get to experience being treated like the young woman she is despite how other guys were put off by her strength and stature and just discovered she could transform just as or after he died. He still dies to Zoi's schemes but it's because, due to being around his Lady so much more than Jad was with Rei, he's starting to question what once he hadn't, especially if some dormant memories he hadn't known about break loose from their shadowy bonds, and so Beryl made out that he was defecting or losing sight of their goals so she didn't have to get her hands dirty.

With Zoi, 'cause I found it real annoying that only he could extract the Nijizuishou when the Moon Wand could also track them down but not get them out, Ami could've used her palmtop to scan whatever residue might've been left on the Wand, to also help look for the Carriers as Zoi did the same with his own tracking crystal. It could go that, because she does take her duties as a Senshi seriously and she's not all about school/studying despite her grades and work ethic and she's gonna prove it, she might get in trouble for 'stalking' while Zoi's just wondering what this cute but annoying brat is doing following him where she could get hurt - the Great Demon he awoke might very well kill her! - when in all reality she's trying to get close to the Carrier but this jerk-wad with the beautiful blond waves, because those are not curls as far as I'm concerned, in a ponytail keeps getting in her way! Shenanigans are had where they try to outsmart, trick or distract each other to get to the Nijizuishou first without outing themselves or her comrades. Zoi's killed by Beryl because when Ren's revealed and Zoi takes that hit with the Ginzuishou it purified him and left him unconscious, like Mamo is later in the season, and so taken to be "healed". I was thinking of how she seemed to be the one most hovering over Mamo while he was being converted to their side. She heard Zoi's fevered ramblings after being purified of the DK's taint, heard him talk about how 'This is wrong. We're loyal to Dymi, not Beryl. We serve a Prince, not a Queen. Where is he?' and made plans because she'd rather lose the General than waste the energy re-brainwashing him while Mamo is also being brainwashed. Kunzite's not a witness, just told in the aftermath that Zoi died due to complications of whatever the newly revealed Princess had done to him to leave him weakened and "delusional". That way Kunz is kept low-key scared of what the Princess might be able to do to him if she caught him in a moment of weakness, distraction or off guard. So that he never stuck around long enough or kept far to the back so that he wasn't healed even accidentally.

With Kunz, well... we all kinda-sorta saw how many times Minako seemed to fall into his traps meant to nab Usa, not to mention their own history while she was in London. And he's killed as in canon because he would not be tricked by the images and lies the Witches from the Sky tried to force into his head, an unintended side-effect of how the SilMil's Last Day was shown, especially regarding her (Venus), into betraying his Liege; completely unknowing that he, technically, already has!

#reblog to spread the word #reblog if you agree #sailor moon #shittenou #jadeite #nephrite #zoicite #kunzite #senshi/shitennou #sen/shi #my outrage given voice #My post

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blueesnow · 6 months ago

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Ichinose Tokiya's Birthday (Year 1) Voicelines Translation.

-You can look at it again on the Event Log, Mini-Event section (for the other boys messages to him) and Talk section (for a one-on-one conversation with you and him) in Idol Page.

-Also the translations might not be fully accurate since I'm not that fluent on jp/en, so if i ever made a mistake do correct me🙏

<You (Player)> Tokiya: Thank you so much for the celebration. I don't want to get too excited or carried away just because it's my birthday and all but… Tokiya: Since it is my birthday, I'd love to do things that I like for today. …What is it, you ask, of course it means that I want to spend times together with you just the two of us.

<Otoya> Otoya: Happy Birthday! I feel like I could always do my best at so many things because Tokiya's right here beside me! Thank you! Tokiya: You're awfully honest, aren't you? Well then, let me also say something too. You are and will always be my eternal rival.

<Masato> Masato: Happy Birthday. I don't know if it's because Ichinose shares the same hobbies as I am, but we ended up talking a lot together, don't we? I hope we can continue to become good friends. Tokiya: I'm happy to hear that. Likewise, I also enjoy spending time with you too, Hijirikawa-san. Thank you so much.

<Natsuki> Natsuki: Happy Birthday! I hope to hear more of your wonderful and dazzling song in the future, Tokiya-kun. Tokiya: Thank you very much. I believe it's thanks to Shinomiya-san's natural talent that helps me rise to the top as well.

<Ren> Ren: Icchi, Happy Birthday. Don't you think it's fine for you to relax for a bit and just enjoy yourself for today? Tokiya: Oh my, I'm thankful for the advice. Now then, would you mind accompanying me to go for a meal? With mostly vegetable main dishes.

<Syo> Syo: Happy Birthday! Tokiya, I've always been impressed and amazed with how much of a perfectionist you are. Tokiya: My goal is always to aim for the highest place after all. But thank you. I'll be relying on your performance as well, Syo.

<Cecil> Cecil: Happy Birthday. To me, Tokiya is a very reliable person. Thank you for everything. Tokiya: Likewise, Aijima-san's honest and courageous personality is very admirable, and I often feel like I should learn more from you. Let's continue to do our best together, shall we.

<Reiji> Reiji: Happy Birthday, Tokki☆ If you ever had a time when you want to be spoiled by someone, then you're very welcome to go to Rei-chan~☆ Tokiya: Thank you for the offer. Although I don't know if I will ever have such an opportunity like that, but I appreciate the sentiments behind.

<Ai> Ai: Happy Birthday, Tokiya. Although you always look serious but sometimes you also have a childish side as well, I think it's good though. Tokiya: Is that so…? But if Mikaze-san said so, then I'm sure it's a compliment, isn't it. Thank you very much.

<Ranmaru> Ranmaru: Happy Birthday, Tokiya. Go on and continue to sing a great song. That's the thing that you're supposed to do. Tokiya: Thank you for your kind words. I'd be happy if there'll be more chances where we could talk about music again together.

<Camus> Camus: Ichinose, I heard that today is your birthday. I got a book that suits you. Let me know what you think about it after you're done reading it. Tokiya: This sounds very promising… I can't wait until I get off work to read it.

<Kira> Kira: Happy…Birthday. Liking vegetables…is a good thing. I want to have…a balanced diet. Tokiya: I agree. I'm happy to hear that we have similar tastes in food. Thank for you the birthday wish.

<Eiichi> Eiichi: Looks like it's your birthday today, Happy Birthday. Although you might look calm on the outside, but deep down you're actually hiding such a burning passion inside…I think it's very good. Tokiya: Thank you for your kind words. But aren't we all the same? Ah no, looking back at it again, I think you are indeed very passionate.

<Nagi> Nagi: So it's your birthday today, Happy Birthday☆ Nagi's special information! Do you want to hear more about a healthy cake~? Tokiya: To think that you know I pay a lot of attention on my food, thank you very much. …Yes, I'd be glad if you could tell me.

<Eiji> Eiji: Happy Birthday. Can you please tell me your recommendation on some singing practices next time? I'd like to get more closer to your level. Tokiya: Of course I don't mind telling you. But don't forget that it's not only just you, I also want to learn more from your examples too.

<Van> Van: Happy Birthday! To think that you're so calm and cool even on a day like this, talk about a manly guy. I think you have quite a lot of attractive charms! Tokiya: I'm very grateful to know that's the way how you describe me. I mean that's the ideal image that I'm aiming for after all.

<Yamato> Yamato: Happy Birthday. Your dance at the other day was really amazing. The way you used your muscles is perfect. Tokiya: Thank you for the compliment. It was all thanks to the training that we had together. I'm very grateful for it.

<Shion> Shion: Blessings on the day of your birth. I heard that your hobby is reading. I'd like to listen carefully to the words that you'd weave… Tokiya: Thank you very much. You use such a beautiful Japanese language, I feel like we could get along well.

#live emotion #ichinose tokiya

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mirai-e-jump · 2 years ago

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Uchusen Vol.181 (Summer 2023) Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger | Detail of Super Sentai ft. Masashi Ikeda & Masato Yano Interviews Special feature on the film King-Ohger: Adventure Heaven (full translation of their Interviews and film info below)

🕷️Masashi Ikeda (Jeramie Brasieri) Interview (Page 62-64)

"Looks like I can't afford to keep sleeping, huh?" Many readers may have been surprised when they first heard that line. Jeramie Brasieri is a storyteller who has been watching over the Five Kingdoms and Bugnarak for more than 2,000 years. Born from a human and a Bugnarak, he yearns for world peace with a nihilistic smile on his face. How was such a unique character created? We asked Masashi Ikeda, who plays the role of Jeramie and the voice of the narrator since the first episode, about his role and thoughts on the work…or so it'll go.

"Ikeda-san, do you have any memories of any tokusatsu works?"

Ikeda: I loved Kamen Rider 555! I had all the transformation belts. I loved it so much that I begged my parents to get me the Psyga and Orga belts that appeared in the movie because I really wanted them (laughs). I also collected the figures and played with them by making them fight.

"Since then, you said you longed to become a hero."

Ikeda: I admired it, but I didn't think it was something I would become. I was born and raised in Tokushima Prefecture, and I thought that the entertainment industry was so far away.

"You didn't think you would become an actor?"

Ikeda: I moved to Tokyo to enter university, where I became enamored by the city. When I was struggling with various issues, I was approached by my current agency. When I was ready to take the first step toward becoming an actor, I was given the chance to audition for a show, which can be a gateway towards success for young talents. I auditioned for "King-Ohger" thinking that I was going to finally fulfill my childhood dream.

"Did you audition for the role of Jeramie from the beginning?"

Ikeda: At first I auditioned for the role of Gira and Yanma, but those fell through. Soon after, I was asked to participate in an audition for the role of the additional warrior. During the interview, they asked me about things other than acting, such as "what's your favorite food?" I was so nervous because I thought they were also looking into my personality.

"How were you informed that you got the role?"

Ikeda: When I heard that another audition for the role was to be filmed, I went to the office, but was told "seems like it's been decided." I didn't really understand, so I was left in daze for about an hour. It was only once I got home that I finally realized what happened and was overcome with excitement. I think maybe my manager wanted to surprise me (laughs). However, I couldn't react to anything after hearing that, so I ended up leaving flustered, I'm so sorry (laughs).

"What were your first impressions of the character Jeramie?"

Ikeda: I remember being excited about this role, thinking it would be interesting. Just hearing that he's half human, half Bugnarak, and that he's a 2,000-year-old pacifist. I just knew that he would be a sensitive character on the inside. I was curious about what happened to him in his 2,000 years of life, and about his appearance as the additional warrior.

"How did you prepare for the role of Jeramie?"

Ikeda: At the time of the audition, the description said "hard-boiled and pretentious," so I created the character in a slightly different way than it is now. I focused on how to make him look cool from his body language to his hand gestures.

"By "slightly different from what it is now," do you mean that after you passed the audition, you changed up your performance based on the director or producer's opinion?"

Ikeda: Actually, the script for the episode in which Jeramie appears (episode 11) arrived quite a while after the audition, but during the meetings at the time, the setting of Jeramie changed. For the time being, I abandoned the role I had played during the audition, and started to think about playing a different character again. The key word "sensitive" remained the same, but I have the impression that Jeramie is relaxed enough to enjoy having conversations with others. That's why I'm very conscious of making sure that he enjoys talking with other people. Also, there are scenes in which he speaks with his true feelings, which are different from how he appears to be on the surface. I try to keep that in mind while act accordingly.

"I heard that you used the previous work "Avataro Sentai Donbrothers" as a reference to help develop your role."

Ikeda: After I was cast as Jeramie, I watched all episodes of Donbrothers and went to the G Rosso theater performances. Donbrothers is mainly comedic rather than kingly, isn't it? I thought that the fun of the stage play was similar to that of King-Ohger, so I used it as a reference.

"Before Jeramie made his appearance, Ikeda-san had been providing the role of narrator. At that point, you still had not yet decided what Jeramie's character was going to be like."

Ikeda: The character had not yet been finished at that point. However, Director (Kazuya) Kamihoriuchi-san told me that he "wanted me to put emotion into the narration." During the first postrecording, I was at a total loss as to how to put emotion into the narration, and it took me a long time of trying. At that time, Director Kamihoriuchi said to me, "why don't you try adding in "…or so it goes" (…tosa)." I feel like Jeramie's character had been decided by that one saying.

"So the memorable phrase originated from the director! Until his appearance, Ikeda-san's name was not credited in the opening. While watching, some viewers may have been wondering whose voice actor was doing it."

Ikeda: For me, I don't like my own voice. That's why when King-Ohger started airing, I couldn't get used to hearing my own voice on air. It was the same when Jeramie made his appearance, I still have strange feelings about it.

"The line "Looks like I can't afford to keep sleeping, huh?" in episode 10 made the viewers realize for the first time that the narration was by a character in the show. From there, there was an immediate response to Jeramie. How did that make you feel?"

Ikeda: When it was realized that the narrator was Jeramie, and then when Jeramie appeared in the show, I was very excited to see everyone's reactions. On Twitter, I was so happy to see tweets with the subject of "the person who narrates is appearing! I had to practice many times how to say "Looks like I can't afford to keep sleeping" because it was the first line that showed Jeramie's emotion as a character, and not as the narrator.

"Did you ever meet the other five members when you were participating only as the narrator?"

Ikeda: I would try to observe them when they were providing the dub for the post recording. I met the five of them there, so when it came time for me to join the show as Jeramie, we were able to get along well.

"What was the first scene filmed as Jeramie?"

Ikeda: It was the beginning of episode 11. I was still wearing the hood and Spider Mask, so I could hardly see anything in front of me. It's not often that you get to perform in such a state, so it was a fun and new experience. When I finally took off my mask, I felt a sense of relief that I was finally able to present Jeramie. There was also a feeling of comradery, as I was finally able to perform with the other five.

"Please tell us about some of the most impressionable episodes you filmed."

Ikeda: In the scene where he meets Rita for the first time, they slap Jeramie hard across the face. Before shooting the scene, I told (Yuzuki) Hirakawa-san, who plays Rita, "Do it seriously," but when filming started, she hit me harder than I expected and I ended up making a face. I replied after that it would be nice if this turns out to be an interesting scene. From there, Hirakawa-san and I became good friends.

"Having played Jeramie so far, Ikeda-san, what do you find most appealing about him?"

Ikeda: Aside from the fact that he was born half human and Bugnarak, and despite having lived as an entity erased from history, I think it's the fact that he loves humans more than anything. He may come off as a pretentious person, but he's actually more pure and innocent, and wishes to bring peace to the the world more than anyone else. I think the gap between innocent and cute is also appealing.

"What were your impressions of the costumes and makeup?"

Ikeda: Normally, I wouldn't wear such pure white and pretty clothing, or put patterns on my face. Even so, when I look like that, the switch to Jeramie is flipped on. I saw it for the first time at the costume fitting, and since both Gira and Kaguragi wear eye makeup, I knew that Jeramie would have some as well, and I think he looks cool having makeup that reflects his sensitive personality.

"What are your thoughts on the post transformation design of Spider Kumonos?"

Ikeda: I honestly thought, "Is it really alright to be this cool!?" This design feels different from the Super Sentai series I watched as a child, so it's really cool. When the figures were released, I decorated them in my house where I admire them everyday (laughs).

"How did you create the transformation scene for Spider Kumonos?"

Ikeda: I worked together with action director (Watanabe) Jun-san to create the scene. When I looked at the finished video, I really felt as though I transformed. It was in that moment where I realized my childhood dream of being a hero came true, and I was overcome with emotion. Words can't express how happy I was, as I watched the transformation scene over and over again like a little kid.

"What was your first impression of Spider Kumonos's sidekick God Tarantula/Tarantula Knight?"

Ikeda: They're wonderful, aren't they? Notably, even though Tarantula is a giant robot, it's able to perform very gorgeous, delicately cool actions. DX Tarantula Knight has also been released, and I'd really like to decorate it in my room.

"It's understood that Ikeda-san has a "King-Ohger" merch corner in his home."

Ikeda: I've displayed King-Ohger post transformation figures, and pre-transformation acrylic stands. Jeramie's stand has recently been released. Naturally, Gira should be placed in the center, but in my house, Jeramie, Spider Kumonos and Tarantula Knight are the center (laughs).

"As filming continues, is there anything Ikeda-san would like to try as Jeramie?"

Ikeda: Spider Kumonos has the ability to control spider webs. I would like to use this ability to talk and fly around upside down while hanging on by the webs, even before transforming. I think it would be interesting to create the kind of eccentric image that only Jeramie could pull off. I'd like to experiment with scenes that make full use of wires.

"When it comes to action scenes like that, I think that proper body strength is necessary…"

Ikeda: I played soccer all the way through my 3rd year of high school, so I love to exercise (laughs). I know it'll be a lot of work, but since I'm able to be apart of a tokusatsu production, given the opportunity, I'd like to actively try my hand at action scenes!

"We're looking forward to it. Finally, what are your thoughts on playing Jeramie in the future?"

Ikeda: In terms of what will happen next, I really don't know. But, Jeramie is a character whose true feelings are shown through his facial expressions, so I hope to play him while emphasizing all of those emotions. I have had the pleasure of working together with truly wonderful staff and co-stars during the production of King-Ohger. I will do my best to continue to create a wonderful show with you all, so please give me your support! Jeramie will also be active in the upcoming movie, so please look forward to it!

⚔️Masato Yano (Rcules Husty) Interview (Page 65-67)

Yano: On the surface, he is a heroic king who wishes for the peace of Shugoddam. Behind the scenes, he is an arrogant dictator who is willing to sacrifice his people and invade other countries… The one who acts as a great wall that stands in front of Gira and his comrades, is none other than Rcules Husty. In this issue, we interviewed Masato Yano-san, who plays the role of Rcules, about creating the role of Rcules and his approach to acting. As well as the treasured episodes with his co-stars…?

"First, I would like to ask a few personal questions. Do you have any memories of any tokusatsu works?"

Yano: In regards to Super Sentai, I was obsessed with with "Denji Sentai Megaranger." I remember having the toys and playing hero with my friends. But my absolute favorite work was "Juukou B-Fighter." Beat Machine and the Juukou Base were the first toys from any tokusatsu show that were given to me, I loved them so much that I still remember them very well.

"Since then, did you ever think you'd want to be an actor playing a hero?"

Yano: No, no, my childhood dream was something else entirely (laughs). But actually, when I was in elementary school, I appeared as a child actor in "Kamen Rider Agito." At the time, there was a training school called Toei Academy within Toei Movie Studios, and that's where I once attended. Performance was part of the class, and this was before my debut, so I don't know if I can call it an entertainment career.

"So Yano-san, do you consider "King-Ohger" to be the first tokusatsu work you've appeared in?"

Yano: Since my debut was through theater (stage plays), I've always thought that tokusatsu was a world that I had no connections to. Many of the roles I've played in the past have often been that of a dark or fearsome character. Or, for example, playing the role of a criminal. It's a position that contrasts completely with tokusatsu works that are meant for children to watch. At the time, I was really surprised when I was asked to be apart of this production.

"The role of Rcules was not an audition, but rather an offer right?"

Yano: Previously, I had worked with Director (Kazuya) Kamihoriuchi-san (the main director of King-Ohger) on "Tokusou 9 (Season 5)", so I think that's why he invited me on. Also, I had worked with (Kotobuki) Kamiaka-san, who is in charge of filming for King-Ohger, in "Muyo Ireinkyo Shugyo (6)", so it was easy for me to get a feel for this project because it didn't feel like my first time on set.

"You also co-starred with (Taisei) Sakai-san, who plays the role of Gira, in "Shinyu wa Akujo" which was broadcast during January of this year."

Yano: That's right (laughs). I once asked Sakai-kun, who played the role of a junior colleague, "Have you decided on what project you'll act in next?" He responded with, "I can't tell you just yet…" and continued to keep it to himself. From the way he answered, I somehow suspected that he would be in the next Super Sentai series (laughs). When I asked him to "Atleast give me a hint," he told me that apparently he would have an "older brother." I responded with "It would be interesting if I got to play the role of a big brother," and then a week later I actually received the offer to play the role of Rcules! It was a big shock (laughs).

"What a fateful turn of events! When you were contacted with the offer, what kind of impression did you get from King-Ohger?"

Yano: I though it was interesting how everyone plays a leading role. Also, Rita's gender isn't explicitly stated, is it? I thought that was another perspective that was typical of modern times. In the case of Rcules, I simply thought that his costumes were decorated with so much gold that they were glittering. The abundance of gold is connected to the idea that he is a king among kings. Just wearing it makes you feel more confident. However, when I read his setup, I felt as though Rcules was a high quality heel (villain). It's an intimidating role, as he's always at odds with Gira.

"How did you go about creating Rcules's character?"

Yano: To be honest, I'm the only one who is given advanced knowledge on future developments before the shooting starts. Sakai-kun and the other six don't know anything, but I do. While keeping it hidden, I'll read the script and speculate, "So this is what's going to happen later on," while also acting unnoticed as to make sure the audience isn't spoiled.

"What exactly does acting unnoticed mean?"

Yano: First, make sure you don't make a face that will end up revealing your true intentions. Don't imagine what you're thinking about in the moment, or about your personal life. I think Rcules's charm lies in how mysterious he is. Furthermore, Shugoddam has a stronger military force than any of the other kingdoms, and in order to keep that dignity, I must be mindful of both my posture and tone of my voice. I try not to blink too much, and slow down my speech about two levels compared to my normal speed.

"Yano-san, what are you particularly conscious of when you are performing?"

Yano: This isn't limited to just King-Ohger, but I am always paying attention to the theatrics of my hand movements. I believe that hand movement can bring out a character, and if that part is neglected, the character's image would fall apart. I hope that, by all means, you will pay attention to Rcules's hand movements.

"I would also like to ask you about your co-stars. Rcules has two close servants, Douga and Boshimar. Yutaka Morioka-san, who plays Douga, and Jubun Fukuzawa-san who plays Boshimar, have had many scenes together."

Yano: That's right, I feel more at ease having both of them on either side. Actually, I don't treat Douga and Boshimar in the same way that I do the rest of my entourage, as I try to act a little different between the two of them. Some viewers noticed the difference in performance when I was searching on SNS, and they shared their impressions with both Morioka-san and Fukuzawa-san.

"What was your reaction after looking at the main story?"

Yano: I don't often watch the works in which I appear in, but I am genuinely curious to see how King-Ohger will turn out. And since we'll be filming long term, I try to check out how the previous story turned out while getting ready for filming.

"What is your favorite scene in the story so far?"

Yano: It's Episode 8! It's because it was the first transformation scene I performed in my life. The transformation poses were assigned to me by the action director (Watanabe) Jun-san, and I keep thinking about what to do, as a chance like this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. At first, the idea was to just simply pull the Ohger Calibur lever, so that I wouldn't overlap with the other five, but unlike them, I prioritized sex appeal over passion (laughs).

"How did you feel when you actually saw the transformation scene?"

Yano: I felt numb! First of all, not only was I fascinated by the sound effects, but the atmosphere of a king was overflowing, which I enjoyed alot. The graphics, which are more advanced than the tokusatsu shows that I watched as a child, were wonderful, and I was more than happy to become the silver hero, Ohkuwagata Ohger. When I was a child, I liked gold and silver origami more than other colors, and I think silver is a special color. It was a very emotional moment for me, as it was the moment I became the hero of such a color.

"The Secret of King Rcules," a spin-off featuring Ohkuwagata Ohger and Rcules as the main character, is now available on Youtube. When did you first hear about the production of the spin-off?"

Yano: When I was contacted for the role of Rcules, the production of "The Secret of King Rcules" had already been arranged. For the Super Sentai series, it seems to be a rare occurrence for a spin-off work to be developed in conjunction with the initial TV series. In addition, it's available on Youtube, so I like that anyone can watch it. We will be filming it alongside the TV show, and while I was busy during the time we were filming, I always did my best as I was happy regardless.

"The key visuals for "The Secret of King Rcules" was also very cool!"

Yano: Yes, It's good!! The key visual is Rcules sitting on the throne, with the image of Ohkuwagata Ohger overlapping the other half of his body. To tell you the truth, I don't remember shooting stills for this key visual (laughs). I really don't remember. I'm sure it's the result of the designer's artificial editing technique. It was as if I was already in that situation and took a still in one shot. I sent it to everyone in our performers group LINE. They said, "You're so cool!" (laughs).

"In "The Secret of King Rcules" The development of Rcules being judged by Rita is depicted."

Yano: During the trial with Rita in Gokkan, the Bugnarak come into Shugoddam. It's for that reason that Rcules makes the decision to vacate the castle. Such an exchange is one of the three key points of "The Secret of King Rcules," however I would like you to watch it simply because it is interesting to see Rcules in handcuffs. And above all else, I want you to pay attention to King Ohger ZERO!

"I always enjoy reading Yano-san's Twitter feed, and I see that you are checking the opinions of the viewers."

Yano: That's right (laughs). When the broadcast first began, I honestly didn't expect to receive such an overwhelming reaction…I thought it would be nice if it would generate a little conversation, but every week lots of people would send me feedback and then give me their thoughts…Something else that caught my attention was the fact that these people who support Rcules had voluntarily added the word "tool" after their handle names.

"Because of the line, "People are tools" (laughs)."

Yano: After seeing the photo shoot, I started to update my Twitter more frequently, even though I hadn't been very active on it in the past. Words relating to King-Ohger were trending every week, that I was surprised on its impact. For this, "Rcules" would like to extend a thank you!

"Filming for King-Ohger will continue on, Yano-san, is there anything you would like to challenge yourself with?"

Yano: It would be to have a straightforward action scene. In "The Secret of King Rcules" we showed off a little bit of one, but I would like to perform one in the main story. From my previous works, I have experience in both action scenes and sword fighting, and I feel as though Jun-san is looking at me as if to say "You wanna do it?" (laughs). Also, as I had mentioned earlier, I don't know anything about Rcules's personal life, so I'd like to see a scene where Rcules is doing something other than political affairs. Maybe Rcules's morning routine?

"I was thinking about it earlier but, the impression of Rcules that we see in the show, and the impression of Yano-san that we are interviewing now is quite different (laughs)."

Yano: I'm completely different from Rcules! (laughs). When I feel that everyone is tired, or that the atmosphere on set is tense, I try to brighten the mood. Like maybe I'll try making a weird face. Since we're going to be together for a year, why don't we try to have a good time? Besides, I want them to get to know me better. I want to listen to what everyone has to say, and I also want to be listened to. I'm conscious of developing these relationships. I often perform alongside (So) Kaku-san who plays Kaguragi, but recently Mami Kamura-san, who plays Suzume, has joined the cast and we now have more cast members of the same generation. I'm very pleased about that as well!

"Finally, what is your enthusiasm for King-Ohger throughout this Summer?"

Yano: I hope that you will believe in Rcules and look forward to the future stories! Please be sure to check out "The Secret of King Rcules," available on Youtube, along with the main story! When you look back at "The Secret of King Rcules" as the show continues to progress, I think that you'll be able to enjoy the main story more. From now on, no matter what happens, I hope you will continue to watch King-Ohger!

👑Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger: Adventure Heaven Special Feature (Page 70-71)

Nationwide Release: July 28, 2023 (Friday)!

"Gira and the other kings head for the "Kingdom of Death!?" "Meeting with the Founding King of Shugoddam"

"Accompanied by Devonica, a native, Gira and the other kings visit Hakabaka, the Kingdom of Death. They enter to meet his ancestor before Gira's coronation as king of Shugoddam, and there they find Reiniol Husty, the first king. Will Reiniol tell Gira, the new king, the truth about Chikyu?"

In "Ohsama Sentai King-Ohger: Adventure Heaven," which is the first theatrical film of King-Ohger, an unprecedented battle set in an unfamiliar country is depicted.

In addition to the rich story written by the tag team of pilot director Kazuya Kamihoriuchi and main writer Minato Takano, one won't be able to take their eyes off the guest appearances of kabuki actor Shido Nakamura and popular voice actress Ayane Sakura!

(Right) Reiniol Husty The first king of Shugoddam from 2,000 years ago, ruling over Hakabaka, the Kingdom of Death. (Played by: Shido Nakamura)

(Left) Devonica She serves as a guide to Hakabaka, the Kingdom of Death, appearing at the coronation to take Gira and the others to meet his ancestor. (Played by: Ayane Sakura)

STORY "As Gira prepares for his coronation, Devonica, who once grew up with him in an orphanage appears. She is a guide to Hakabaka, the Kingdom of Death. She wants to take Gira to see his lost ancestors. Through the power Hakabaka, he sets out with Yanma and the other kings, where once arriving, Reiniol Husty, the first king of Shugoddam, appears before them. He invites Gira away by telling him that he would disclose the truth about Chikyu, but after listening to his detailed story, demands that Gira give up his right to the throne over to Reiniol…?"

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solarisleech · 25 days ago

Note

for your writing: a request for ai trying to cook an omelet and messing up the flip?

Alright, now that the holidays have wound down, I can finally answer!

Happy new year, and happy reading!

—

Ai wouldn’t be frustrated with that outcome, but he would be determined to get it right the next time.

Or the next time.

Or the next…?

Say he’s been having trouble with it for a few days. He’s scrubbed through as many cooking tutorials as he can, so he now knows the correct method, and yet… it just won’t work out.

No matter how gentle he thinks he’s being, no matter the technique, the omelette keeps bursting on the flip, never even having the chance to sit upon its bed of rice.

The fated afternoon ends with an entire carton of eggs wasted, and a new fire behind Ai’s eyes. He’s determined to get this right.

In his newfound pursuit, he would try and gather advice.

Three people in specific come to mind, yet Ai would hope he would only have to utilize two.

He contacts Masato and Natsuki, getting them together for this excursion.

Unfortunately, Masato’s attempts weren’t perfect either, and Natsuki’s explanations for his technique are too whimsical for Ai to really analyze…

He parts ways, feeling defeat, and slight dread for his absolute last resort.

He calls Reiji, and asks for his help.

He would be delighted to, of course, but that’s exactly why Ai didn’t want to rely on him. Reiji’s bouncy energy was something he was sure would cause his attempts fail even more, in worse ways.

And yet, he’s quickly proven wrong.

When Reiji arrives and makes his way into the kitchen, Ai finds himself stunned.

He supposed he shouldn’t be, but his group member’s days in food service never crossed his mind.

Of course, Reiji’s infectious energy never goes away, but it never impedes their work.

And after only three failed omelettes…

Ai finally succeeds! Making the perfect omelette in one shot, without Reiji’s assistance!

After the fanfare and sudden maracas fade into the background, Ai is left wondering just one thing…

…why did he get so caught up on this again?

#utapri #uta no prince sama #quartet night #ai mikaze #reiji kotobuki

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lemonidae · 20 days ago

Text

Yoneda Kou's original works

Saezuru Tori wa Habatakanai/Twittering Birds Never Fly (2011)

Status: 10 Volumes (Ongoing)

Tagged: Action, Adult, Drama, Mature, Psychological, Romance, Tragedy, Yaoi, Crime, Yakuza, Abusive Parents, Bodyguard/Boss Subordinate Relationship, Impotency, Lust, Masochist, Rape, Tragic Past, Unrequited Love, Slow Burn

Yashiro is the young leader of Shinseikai and the president of the Shinseikai Enterprise, but like so many powerful men, he leads a double life as a deviant and a masochist. Chikara Doumeki comes to work as a bodyguard for him and, although Yashiro had decided that he would never lay a hand on his own men, he finds there's something about Doumeki that he can't resist. Yashiro makes advances toward Doumeki, but Doumeki has mysterious reasons for denying. Yashiro, who abuses his power just to abuse himself, and Doumeki, who faithfully obeys his every command, begin the tumultuous affair of two men with songs in their hearts and no wings to fly.

Tadayoedo Shizumazu, Saredo Naki mo Sezu (Prequel, Yashiro's Past) Yashiro is a masochist with slightly sadistic tendencies who gets off more with guys. Otherwise he's your average high school student. Recently though, there's been this annoying classmate Kageyama who seems to think its his duty to supply Yashiro with band aids for the results of his sexual exploits; through various events they get closer and soon Yashiro develops more than normal feelings for Kageyama but will he experience his springtime of love? or remain drowning in unrequitted affection?

Don't Stay Gold (Kageyama x Kuga) A Yakuza boss really wants this “Mad Dog” fighter he found to work for him, but the “Mad Dog” isn’t too keen on the idea, even though he owes a debt. After being injured and refusing to go with the boss, the “Mad Dog” winds up staying with the doctor for a few days. Will the “Mad Dog” give in to the boss to pay off his debt?

NightS (2008)

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Comedy, Drama, Romance, School Life, Slice of Life, Yaoi, Age Gap, Detective, Drug Trafficking, Identity Crisis, Mafia, Secret Identity, Crime, Mechanic, Salesman

Masato Karashima is a "transporter", a man paid to smuggle anything from guns to drugs to people. When he's hired by yakuza gang member Masaki Hozumi, he finds himself attracted to the older man, and what starts out as a business transaction quickly spirals into a cat-and-mouse game of lust and deception.

Kanjou Spectrum (Emotion Spectrum) A high-school student tries to be a good wingman for a classmate, with an unexpected result.

Reply Told from the alternating perspectives of an emotionally reserved salesman and the shy mechanic who's in love with him.

Night One Month After A short story that takes place one month earlier than "NightS dj - Another Story", when Karashima first time visits Masaki after he discovers his whereabouts.

NightS dj - Another Story (2013)

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Romance, Yaoi, Age Gap, Reunion, Scars, Crime

After months of waiting, Karashima finds Hozumi for one more night, resigned to taking only what Hozumi will give him. But after all the verbal sparring and psychological tactics in their drawn-out war of love, Hozumi’s defenses may be finally coming down…

Doushitemo Furetakunai/No Touching at All (2008)

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi, Boss-Subordinate, Homophobia, Office Romance, Straight, Tragic Past, Workplace Romance

On his very first day at a brand-new job, shy Shima is trapped in the elevator with a hungover mess of a guy…who turns out to be his boss! Togawa’s prickly exterior definitely puts the rookie recruit on-edge, but it doesn’t take long before Shima’s every waking thought is invaded by his overbearing yet totally thoughtful superior. Will Shima put aside a history of disappointment in order to take a chance on a complicated relationship?

Soredemo, Yasashii Koi o Suru/Even So, I Will Love You Tenderly (2008)

Doushitemo Furetakunai Spin-off

Status: 1 Volume (Complete)

Tagged: Drama, Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi, Friends Become Lovers, Jealousy, Slow Romance, Unrequited Love Becomes Requited

Onoda is a straight guy and he is three years younger than Harumi Deguchi. They have nothing in common and at first, they were just friends. But that’s not enough for Harumi- he wants more from Ryo and he realizes that he has fallen in love with him. Feeling anxious and emotional, he wants to tell him how he feels… but he can’t. Fearing rejection, he’d rather be just friends and not ruin what he has with him. Here- we have a story of pain, sorrow and happiness of being in love.

Rainy Days, Yesterday (2015)

Status: 5 Chapters (Hiatus)

Tagged: Drama, School Life, Shounen Ai, Slice of Life, High School, Laundromat, Love Triangle, Motorcycle, Part-Time Job, Popular Lead, Shy Protagonist, Slow Romance, Student

A story about two high school boys, Ume and Take, whose relationship seems to revolve around rainy days.

Eros in the Stoic (2009)

A very short (2 page) oneshot focusing on the idea of "eros" (passion, longing, love), and the narrator's own preferred definition.

Yorube Naki Mono/People With No Place to Go (2008)

Status: 3 Chapters (Discontinued)

Tagged: Action, Drama, Historical, Shounen Ai, Assassin, Bodyguard, Brothel, Hidden Past, Swordplay, Prostitution

Set in feudal-era Japan, Yorube Naki Mono centers around prostitutes, assassins, and the grimier sides of city life. One night, a mysterious young man named Shikon is introduced as the newest member of Saiga's group of assassins for hire. Shikon is outgoing and flirtatious, but Saiga can sense there's more to Shikon than he lets on... A chance encounter on a moonlit night leads to two destinies awakening.

Ore ni Koi Shite Dousunda/Why Are You in Love with Me Anyway (2007)

Status: 4 Chapters (Discontinued)

Tagged: Comedy, Drama, Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi, Age Gap, Bisexual, Forced Living Arrangements, Incest, Live-in

When his interior designer mom takes off to New York for a year, Toranosuke, dorky name none withstanding, gets sent to stay with his uncle. And it's just his luck that Ryouji's obnoxious, violent, and has the same sharp tongue as Tora's mom. Only it turns out that he's not really that bad, and maybe Tora's falling in love (with his uncle, of all people), and Ryouji has a heart of gold underneath the bellowing and violence. Except that Ryouji's pretty much the worst guy in the world to fall for: he enjoys sex more than eating, has a commitment problem, and has long since convinced himself that he's really, really straight.

Op: Yoake Itaru no Iro no Nai Hibi (2016) NON-BL

Status: 2 Volumes (Ongoing)

Tagged: Drama, Mystery, Seinen, Slice of Life, Supernatural, Crime, Detective, Investigation, Murder

Yoake Itaru, 38, divorced. Profession: Investigator and confidential informant for an insurance agency. Speciality: Cases others tend to avoid. Everyday there are mysterious "accidents" that are actually clever cover-ups of suicides and murders. And the parties concerned will appeal to him. And so, the colourless days of this man will continue...

Buy JP: mandarake

Buy ENG: B&N | amz

Buy ES: amz | td

Socials: x1 | x2 | x3

Sources:

Read: md | mrm | mb list | mb | mnl

#manga rec #rec #yoneda kou #ore ni koi shite dousunda #manga #yorubenaki mono #doushitemo furetakunai #soredemo yasashii koi o suru #rainy days yesterday #op: yoake itaru no iro no nai hibi #nightS #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #kou yoneda #yoneda ko

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ozfi · 22 days ago

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agito is about the potential of humanity. while presented as a physical thing, of breaking the bounds of what it means to be human, what it uses this to talk about is metaphorical evolution- a capacity to accept change, and the ability to see a future.

within the main three's ability to be unbending in their will is where they show themselves as protagonists, as those who can see a future that exists and live for it. its when you get stuck in the past you stop wanting to see a future at all.

it may be true that losing his memory gave shouichi a perspective nobody else had- of a person who couldnt run away to his past like anyone else in despair - but amnesia can make you feel a lot of other things, and you can wallow in it just as well as any other tragedy. when shouichi gets his memory back, he DOES start backpedaling! he starts briefly trying to live in the past alongside his sister, starts wishing he desperately wasnt agito, before realizing that, yes, the others are right, hes saved countless people with these hands including other people like him and his sister. theres no reason to fear an uncertain future when its something you make yourself, and nobody else has the right to take someone elses future away. and then continues to fight to protect those futures with a brave mind and decided heart.

ryou feels the same- at first he chases the truth of the akatsuki because he has lost everything, turned into something unrecognizable and monstrous, and everyone he loves is dead. but hes steadfast and doesnt give up, even with his uncertainty, even when he Fucking Dies. twice. he stands back up and keeps pulling himself forward by the skin of his fingers. he may initially come to an incorrect conclusion- that humans shouldnt fight with the agito (humans are the agito) - but ultimately he sheds not only that but all other despair for his situation. this isnt the end of anything at all. he will fight. he will continue living. "being normal is good enough for me". flowers dont have a reason to bloom. despite all his loss, the world is still worth living in, despite the pain he's suffered.

this is why kino dies before the ending, i think. even with his change of heart (and i think masato's arm keeping him from committing even worse crimes was his own guilt, not literally being haunted.) he couldnt escape the past, and could not envision a future, so what was his reason to continue living? but he is still admirable in the way of encouraging others to move forward where he could not.

hikawa is different. hes not agito! he wanted to be agito in a way not even agitos wanted to be agito. but hikawa wasnt arbitrarily imbued with the seed of agito. hikawa does not have the capacity to transcend his own humanity and become something more... well, does he? no and yes, he doesnt have that power, but acting as G3-X gives him something similar. even through hikawas doubt in his own ability throughout the entire season, and often his own faults and missteps, he always stands back up, he always tries again, and he never stops fighting for what he believes in. dont you know, hes hikawa makoto? he was so human perfection had to come down and meet him, and he never let go of that chance!

agito presents humanity's natural potential to grow beyond itself, gills is a "failed" agito that continues fighting despite his incomplete nature, and G3(-X) is humanity surpassing itself through its own will.

through these individual storylines first paralleling each other and then converging upon a single point of "refusing to give up your future" despite the pain and suffering you will surely face in not only the past behind but the future in front, agito tries to paint a picture of the world that is, not the world to come, and argue that while we dont know what will come in the future, humanity is worth fighting for anyway, because they're stronger than anyone thinks. and, realistically, there is no higher power that can take our evolution from us, so all we can do is create the best future we can.

and within such a message, i couldnt help but think of one of my favorite shows of all time.

#.txt #agito spoilers #kamen rider agito #a

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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago

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government mandated beach episode

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #ryo aoki #masato arakawa #snap sketches #i keep getting emails from fashion companies and yeah. theyre inspiring me #also i just havent drawn his scar in a while and i miss it #i never get chances to draw it </3 #ignore those comms i got where i had to draw him nakie ok. those dont count #ok i still have more posts hang on SORRY

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virtualcarrot · 2 months ago

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[KKIR] Pen on paper - Part 6

[Ao3] [Part 5 on tumblr]

The office Iruka’s led to is dark with wood paneling. The lights are muted, likely out of consideration for the fragile contents of the ceiling-tall bookshelves. On the far wall, two windows stand a half-lidded vigil from under lowered shoji panes. Iruka wonders if he could spot them on the cliffside. He thinks they’re facing East but it’s hard to tell from what little sunlight reaches in.

Between the windows, an imposing desk displays the worn marks of an antique that simply will not be retired. The silhouette of a tall-backed armchair rises over it. It's occupied.

Even though the door’s already open, Toki still gives it a curt rap.

“Eri-sensei? Iruka-sensei’s here for you.”

Busy at her desk, Eri pulls a face. She holds up a finger in a request for patience and speeds up the strokes of her writing. It takes nearly a minute before she’s done, after which she rinses her brush and hangs it upside down on an intricate stand over a little tray.

“Right. Sorry about that. Didn’t want to stop mid-sentence and forget where I was at. I’m sure you understand.”

Iruka assures her that he does and accepts the seat she offers him. It’s an armchair, also made of heavy wood, and terribly uncomfortable.

Something about his posture must give it away because Eri blinks, frowns, and begins to turn away. It takes a few pushes until her throne relents and she can rummage through the lengthy sideboard under the windows. Moving her seat back into alignment with the desk doesn’t prove any easier afterwards but she eventually succeeds.

“Sorry, we’re still… freeing ourselves from old traditions,” she says wryly, handing him a rumpled seat cushion. “Furniture’s low on the list of priorities. Toki, do you mind closing the door?”

The door shuts with barely a whisper, leaving them alone.

Eri takes off her thin-framed glasses and folds them up on the desktop. “So… I understand there’s been some difficulty with Masato.”

Iruka can’t hold back a disbelieving chuckle at that. “Yeah, you could say that.”

She tries to lean back against her formidable chair and gives it up as a lost cause with a grimace.

“Right,” she says in a tone of lament. “Give me your side of the story, then.”

Iruka strongly suspects that Masato already cornered her with a significantly vexed rant.

She doesn’t seem particularly offended, herself. If anything, she’s giving the impression of someone who wishes they didn’t have to micromanage the hissy fits of their subordinates, but who’ll go through the motions because it’s part of their job. In an ideal world, the whole debacle would be ranked lower priority than the need to purchase new furniture. But it’s not an ideal world, so she has to give Iruka a chance to explain himself before she can check it as a completed chore.

He sympathizes. As VP, he's already been in charge of organizing a couple of seminars. He doesn't know how he'd have reacted if any of his speakers had flown off the handle.

“Honestly?” he starts. “It's been an accumulation of grievances since I arrived. Either aimed at me or at some other students. Masato-sensei’s clearly more interested in the status of a teacher than in the actual job. He’s too busy being self-important, and he’s constantly putting us down.” He pauses. “Do you really want me to give you a list?”

He watches her weigh her professional pride with her professional weariness. After a while, she deflates.

“Look, Masato knows his stuff. He’s the best man for the job. I’ll admit, he’s not always easy to get along with, but, you know... He’s a master of his craft. So, sure, he’s a bit eccentric… It comes with the territory.”

Iruka snorts. “I’m sorry, but I call bullshit.”

He has a thought for Kakashi, the genius master of a Thousand Jutsu, reading his erotica out in the open while lounging on a tree branch, so quick to put the book away when he figured that the fellow shinobi underneath was in need of advice.

“Trust me, I know ‘eccentric’ . And I also know ‘bully’ . They’re not the same. And I don’t believe for one second that you don’t know what I’m talking about. Masato’s not hiding anything. You’ve seen it.”

Her eyes glint with short-lived stubbornness. Then she heaves a long-winded sigh. She reminds him of Tsunade, back when the Godaime first started picking up the pieces of the shambles of Konoha’s administration. To each their struggle.

“Fine. Masato’s insufferable. He does have good sides--no, no, he does--frankly he needs them, else he’d get nowhere--but he’ll put you to the test before he shows them to you.”

“Honestly? That's not on us. None of us signed up for that.”

Eri rubs her forehead then cards her graying hair back with a sigh. “And none of you signed up for that. You’re right.”

Weary as she is, her throne and majestic desk dwarf her. Iruka lets her have a minute of silence. She looks like she needs it.

“What now?” he asks at length.

She shakes her head back into focus. “What do you mean, what now?”

“Do I have to go home?”

“What? Of course not! Why? Do you want to?”

“I mean… Masato-sensei told me to leave his classroom yesterday.”

With a dismissive laugh, she swats the matter from the air. “Oh that was yesterday, he’s had time to cool down. Also, he doesn’t have a choice. Imagine this, us sending the Vice-Principal of Konoha’s Academy packing! I’d never hear the end of it.”

“Oh,” he says, drooping in relief.

She stares at him like she doesn’t know if she should be perplexed or amused. “Did you really think--Oh, what am I saying, you wouldn’t have asked… Anyway, I’ve reminded Masato of the stakes and yes, you’re free to join them again. Is that all?”

Iruka’s tempted to remind her she’s the one who summoned him but also recognizes closure when he sees it. He’s had to cut a few meetings short because of work himself. It’s a fair turnabout. He doesn’t envy whatever’s keeping her busy anyway.

He pushes to his feet with a short bow and thanks her for her time. They exchange goodbyes.

He’s halfway through the doorway when a pointed throat-clearing stops him. A look back shows her shuffling papers with her glasses back on her nose, but something about the performance of it tells him he still has her attention.

“I read your application, you know,” Eri says without looking away from the paperwork. “Very driven. I like it. You can’t make changes that you don’t believe in, after all.” She glances up briefly. Her gaze’s made narrower by the glasses. “Just remember we in Kiri are in charge of our own. I trust you’ll not overstep with Masato again without coming to me first.”

Iruka shifts his weight. It’s not that he doesn’t like being helpful, because he does, but he’s also pretty much past the point of restraint. Masato’s used up all of his supply.

He offers a compromise. “That depends on Masato-sensei. But I'll try.”

Her lips twitch. “Fair enough, I suppose. Well, it was nice meeting you in the flesh, Iruka-sensei. Toki, can you get the door?”

Toki, who’d apparently been waiting outside all this time, hastily pushes away from the wall. She does a curious motion with her jaw, which Iruka recognizes from the times he’s caught students tucking chewing gum out of sight behind their back teeth.

He bites his lips against a grin.

“Yes ma’am,” Toki says, reaching past him for the doorknob.

“Oh, to have been a fly on that wall…” he hears Eri muse before the door fully shuts again.

Toki drops him off right outside the classroom with both a wince and a thumbs up of encouragement. Iruka hopes the smile he offers in return doesn’t look too stiff.

True to Eri’s words, Masato allows Iruka back in without argument. If anything, going by his sarcastic greeting, he seems keen to pretend nothing happened the day before.

“Finally decided to join us, Iruka-san?”

“I apologize for the lateness,” Iruka replies neutrally before finding his usual seat.

Ryo greets him with wide-eyed relief, looking a bit wobbly as ne and Toru move supplies around to make room for him. Iruka replies with a self-assured wink that he doesn’t feel yet but hopefully soon will.

By the time evening strikes, he’s not quite there. He generously fields questions from his classmates while they file out with a succinct summary of Eri's summons, and accepts the good-natured back-slapping that some see fit to give him. Akitaro’s hands are the size of plates. Iruka chuckles and jostles him back before finding a secluded corner of the hostel to retreat to.

Putting on a brave face is exhausting.

He can’t pretend to worry about the place Kakashi’s taking in his thoughts and correspondence tonight. Perhaps Konoha’s Rokudaime could benefit from learning of the diplomatic setback Iruka nearly put them all through, but that’s not who Iruka sits down to write to. Instead, it’s Kakashi whom he tells of his outburst against Masato, Kakashi who will read of Iruka’s anger to see Ryo being set up for failure, his concern over not being able to complete the course, and his dizzying relief that he will, ultimately.

And yet, as he writes it all down, Iruka gets another, nastier glimpse of his own self. Deep down, he can’t ignore the shadow of a shameful, bitter sort of disappointment. He misses Konoha. He’s glad to be staying. He’s sad to be staying. Coming home in failure was still coming home anyway. He’s tired and energized at once. He wants to succeed but there was comfort in the fact he might no longer have to try so hard anymore.

It’ll pass, he knows, just a brief moment of weakness. It’s also an embarrassing confession to make to Kakashi.

He does it anyway.

He feels lighter afterwards. Enough to remember the joy that came right before the whole ordeal, the triumph of his chakra gathering up a swirl of water. That too, he shares.

The spent chakra sheet with his successful two-nodes was left slightly rumpled in the whole rush of the day before, but it's nothing that can't be flattened back. Feeling a bit like a kid showing off a silly scribble, he folds it in two and slips it in the envelope. He hopes Kakashi will be satisfied with his progress.

Oh, who is he kidding? He hopes Kakashi will be proud.

Dear Iruka-sensei,

The wheels of the administration keep turning in spite of your absence--although I had to send Shikamaru to grease them up a bit yesterday. I’m glad to say he’s been complaining less and less about this kind of task. Working together with Naruto has clearly been helping them both. Still, I’m sure he’ll be very relieved to have you back. They don’t take him nearly as seriously as they do you, down there, and I suspect he’d rather not have to deal with the bother.

We’ve all been ambivalent about duty one day or another, after all. There’s no shame in admitting it. In truth, I’m honored you’d confide. Just know that if you choose to come home, we’ll be all too glad to welcome you back. If you decide to complete the course, we’ll patiently wait for your return. Whatever your decision, I have every trust that it will be sound. In the end, you’ve always made the right choice, even when it went against common expectations. We owe you a lot for that.

That being said, if anyone can turn that man into a teacher, it's you. Kiri doesn't know its luck.

Actually, I’ll keep that on hand as a nifty point of pressure. Remind me to lord it over their heads when we discuss who should host the next chuunin exam--

Dear Iruka-sensei,

I heard that you yelled at people ahahahah. How did that go? Here it’s been pretty quiet since you left--I mean, aside from Boruto. Like, for real, Iruka-sensei, he’s sooo tiny and sooo loud, how does that even work, he should not have the lungs for that. I swear he keeps giving me lip too, like, I’ll be telling him to please eat his peas, you know, because it’s important for him, and to please stop spilling them on the floor because even Kakashi-sensei’s dogs won’t eat those and then I have to pick them up, and he’ll look me in the eye and go “no” and then “want ramen” but Hinata asked me to stop feeding him ramen and Sakura will have my hide too if I keep doing it because apparently Sarada’s also been asking for it now--

Dear Naruto,

How are you even surprised that Boruto’s loud? He’s your son, what else would he be?! Also, didn't you use to tell me how annoying it was that Kakashi-sensei made you eat proper vegetables when you were a genin? This sure sounds like karmic retribution for making your teacher struggle so much with it. Deal with it and feed your son properly.

Though I don’t understand what everybody’s problem with ramen is, it has meat, vegetables, broth and noodles. A perfectly balanced meal, if you ask me. Unless you’re feeding Boruto instant ramen, Naruto, I’d hope you aren’t, that is not appropr--

Dear Kakashi-san,

I apologize for the whole drama. Honestly, now that it’s passed, I feel pretty silly. Really, at my age, I should be past that, getting maudlin and all… Anyway. As you can guess, I’ve stayed. Obviously.

Also. Thank you.

[Part 7]

#naruto #kakairu #kkir #umino iruka #hatake kakashi #my scrawl #fic : naruto

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utxpri · 1 year ago

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How would STARISH ask out their crush?

Otoya — Chances are, he didn't plan it in the slightest. Otoya asks you out the moment he gets the impulse for it, whenever he feels the time is right. The spontaneity is cute, though, especially because it makes it easy to see that his feelings are truly genuine.

Masato — Formally. Whether it's after a thoroughly planned initial "date" or through some equally well-rehearsed setup, Masato is perhaps a little too concerned with making the moment perfect. He wants to impress you, but his awkwardness clearly shows.

Natsuki — The exact method and context may vary, but however it ends up happening, Natsuki's method of asking you out is going to be adorable. Most likely, it'll be a heartfelt, almost casual question hesitantly asked while you're already spending time together.

Tokiya — Though he's inclined toward formality as well, Tokiya pushes that obligation aside as best he can. You deserve something more honest than the "proper" set-up, after all. He'll deliberate on it for quite a while to decide when and how he should ask.

Ren — His first instinct is to try the "usual" way; as in, the kind of cheesy, excessively romantic way he'd asked out plenty of past, short-term lovers. Ren is perfectly confident in that strategy, too... right up until he's with you, and the plan falls to messy pieces.

Syo — It takes him a lot of time to work up the courage. Asking you out seems easy, at first, but the more Syo thinks about it, the more self-doubt starts to sink in. In the end, he bites the bullet and says it straight-out— even if he embarrasses himself, at least it was honest.

Cecil — Sweetly. Somehow, despite not planning for it at all, Cecil manages to pick a near-perfect moment to ask. It's not a very formal scenario (most likely during a casual hang-out), yet there's something undeniably charming about such an intimate, personal way to ask.

#Utapri #Uta no Prince Sama #Otoya #Ittoki Otoya #Masato #Hijirikawa Masato #Natsuki #Shinomiya Natsuki #Tokiya #Ichinose Tokiya #Ren #Jinguuji Ren #Syo #Kurusu Syo #Cecil #Aijima Cecil #Headcanon #Reader

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yyxandere · 1 year ago

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-ˋˏRAMBLE TRAMBLE. . . ->

Yandere Yakuza but everyone is glazing the yandere so they can let their ship sail (ESPCIALLY IF ITS A HAREM(*/ω＼*))

Platonic yandere Rikiya and Haruka tell how cool and respectable their aniki/uncle Kaz is. Did you know that his aniki can take down a whole bull!? Or did you hear from Haruka that her uncle Kaz managed to fight off two tigers at the same time!? He's also a very soft man, Haruka, and Rikiya might even tell you embarrassing stories about Kiryu so you can loosen up to him. (please don't let Kazuma hear the stories, he is so embarrassed)

Ryuiji's subordinates always hype their captain every single time, whenever you compliment someone based on their strength or looks, his subordinates would just pop out of nowhere and tell you how amazing their boss is! Didya' know that the boss can fight even when he's heavily wounded, he has such a strong spirit! The guy you just complimented, psh he has nothing compared to the boss, the boss looks make's most girls crazy, he is such a daring bad boy, isn't he? And I think this line of logic would also fit Daigo and Mine, like their subordinates glazing their boss.

Ooooh boy, for our glorious bear Saejima and his sister Yasuko. Yasuko would always tell how amazing her big brother is! So courageous and all, she would even set up dates for the both of you for the chance that you guys would be together. Yasuko would be like the wing woman (is that what you guys call it?) to Taiga. Oh did you know that Taiga actually has a hobby for sculpting? He might be a tough-looking guy but he in fact sculps for fun, her big brother is just talented like that! If you have time you can ask him to ask you how to sculp, he is a very good teacher too! (please she just wants to be an auntie)

Platonic Yandere Masumi telling you that both his sons (Ichiban and Masato) are great candidates if you ever want to have a boyfriend or something like that or even the same thing with platonic Yandere Kazama with his boys, Nishki and Kazuma. (...they want to spoil their future grandkids man)

Aaa many different characters and different personalities, yet most of them would be embarrassed and flushed when they ever hear about what they were doing (Ryuji and Mine would be smug about it though.)

Idk just a weird concept that popped into my mind :P Give some ask as food to this thought (^///^)

#✧- ‘YAKUZA’ ☆#is this a cool concept😵‍💫😵‍💫?.#subordinates dick riding like their family’s are held on gun point LMAOOO #yandere yakuza x reader #x reader #yandere #yakuza #yandere x reader #yandere kiryu kazuma #yandere saejima taiga #yandere ryuji gods #yandere daikon dojima #yandere mine yoshitaka #yakuza x reader #I’m high on my meds on my meds rn 😭😭‼️‼️

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dirtbra1n · 1 month ago

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piece toss

hi @aranarumei You'll never guess who your secret santa was for the @ssmygiftexchange. >:) prompts I borrowed from the most were 'sort of "day in the life" [...] that explores a relationship with two characters', the related 'character/relationship study', and the most obvious fateful 'Perhaps something with Sasaki & Hanzawa interacting? They don't talk too much, so it would be cool to see their distant / cordial relationship' kiri please understand I have a lot to say on this. putting a new sign around my neck that reads Please ask me about what I think about sasaki and masato's relationship. and what I think it could be

while I'm cross-posting on ao3, I'm putting the whole thing here too. are you proud of me I'm even putting a title on the post like you would. that's enough preface out of me though. life is really beautiful. thank you @ssmygiftexchange for giving me the chance to do this, the event as a whole has been a real treat to watch unfold!

sasaki, you up off your ass yet?

Mostly life hasn’t changed at all. Overall less of a pain in the ass. Different people to see every day, same people to miss.

wake the hell up man your sisters blowing up my phone

shut up already

Sasaki’s phone starts buzzing. He flips onto his stomach and grumbles, “What?”

“While you’re out being errand boy could you bring over that last CD I lent you?”

“...You’re annoying.” Beep. Sasaki gets up off his ass.

Mostly things are exactly the same. This isn’t a bad thing. Actually, as Sasaki gets older—imagine that—the way things shake out shows him more and more often that he just had to stick it out. Just had to make it out of the woods.

Just had to latch onto something long enough to open his eyes again. He stretches.

His phone has started up again by the time he’s done brushing his teeth. His reflection in the mirror looks hassled.

He huffs discontentedly into the receiver and says nothing else.

“...Sasaki-saaan? You there?”

Sasaki looks down at his phone. He moves to hang up.

“HOLD IT!” Ugawa cries. “Don’t be so cold!”

Sasaki checks the time. “Is it an emergency?”

He can hear Ugawa’s glasses glint. “Wanna come out with us?”

Sasaki hangs up the phone.

—

The twelfth train station passed on his route sees Sasaki Shuumei seeing Sasaki Shuumei, reflected, in his train’s grimy window. He looks bored. His head rolls a little with the momentum.

The thirteenth train station passing on his route sees Sasaki Shuumei seeing Hanzawa Masato mid-yawn through the glass. He looks tired. Sasaki blinks, lead on his eyes coaxing them shut again.

The twenty-first train station passing on his route sees Sasaki Shuumei, cow-licked, walking stiffly, briskly, to catch his transfer.

—

Pretty definitively it was not an emergency. Ugawa and the girls took him on a field trip to a newly opened cafe way out of the way—not that far from the university, so he can’t hold it against anybody, but Ugawa still caught his eye and apologized with his hands pressed together—to try four novel drinks at Ugawa’s behest.

He can admit he had fun. He’s just on his last legs.

The three of them take mercy on him at about two in the afternoon, splitting off to get some shopping done. Ugawa says, “Go get some rest now!” which Sasaki thinks is a little funny somehow, but he exhales relief and a twinge of immediate, cooling melancholy. He stretches again, muscles pulling like taffy. Hungry…

Across the street he sees a big, still-unlit sign for hotpot. Standing before it he sees Hanzawa. Standing around him he sees approximately ten hundred other people. To no one, Sasaki says, “Whoa.”

Sasaki ambles from one side of the street to the other, excusing himself between older ladies sharing a grocery basket. The wafting smell of hotpot pricks at him. Hanzawa says cheerfully to the crowd (a dozen people or so), his back facing Sasaki, “Bye bye!”

He turns back around with a loosened-muscles’ ghost of a sincere smile playing at his lips, in the familiar twinge of melancholy wrinkling his eyes. Sasaki feels like he’s seeing a stage actor just after he’s come off-stage. Hanzawa looks down at his phone and lets out an exaggerated sigh, then looks up and sees Sasaki looking, unassertively, down at him. Hanzawa’s eyes open wide and the hair on top of his head seems to ruffle up. Sasaki, for no particular reason, remembers watching Ponyo for the first time. Right there in front of Sasaki, in that moment, Hanzawa went from somebody Sasaki didn’t really know to… Hanzawa.

It makes him look a lot younger all of a sudden. Sasaki blinks, a little drowsy. “Hanzawa,” he says finally.

Hanzawa glows a little brighter. Sasaki squints the slightest bit. “Hello, Sasaki,” he says. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it! Answer me a question?”

Sasaki says, “Mm?”

“How do you know you’re lost?”

“...How do I know I’m lost?” Sasaki gazes at the bustle over one of Hanzawa’s shoulders, spares a glance at the sign over the other. Yearns again for hotpot for another couple of seconds. His eyebrows drop a little. “Is this a trick question?”

“I would never trick you,” Hanzawa says, his eyes aglow.

Sasaki gazes now, doubtfully, straight over Hanzawa’s head. Lets another few seconds pass him by. His eyebrows pinch, “Are you a little kid?”

Hanzawa folds over, startled by his own eminently familiar laughter. Sasaki doesn’t need to tilt his head too far down to look at him because his hand comes up, wobbling, while he catches his breath. “It wasn’t my fault!” Hanzawa wheezes. “I was being ferried around right in the middle of our party. I lost all sense of direction ages ago.”

…You are a little kid. Sasaki waits for him to regain his footing.

“Hey, Sasaki,” Hanzawa says, straightening up and holding his side, “are you busy?”

The CD in his pocket weighs heavy for a second and a half. “Not really, I guess.”

Hanzawa’s eye smile sends Sasaki back a few years. “Could I hassle you into joining me on a few errands?”

“Sounds like a pain…”

He holds up a finger, “One errand.”

Sasaki lets his head fall back to look up at the sky. He sighs.

—

“Hey, Hanzawa?”

“Yeees?”

“What exactly are you having me do?”

Hanzawa yawns heartily into his elbow and finishes pulling his other leg through the window. “Besides turn a light on?” He yawns again. Washing his hands and considering the scenery beyond their point of entry, he finally continues, “I guess you could send Ogasawara a message telling him we’ll be stealing all of his valuables.”

—

It’s funny that he doesn’t remember opening his eyes; just is what he is where he is. He wasn’t much anything, either, until a second ago when he felt a fwump at the back of his head, and then he was groaning and then he was reaching to yank Ogasawara’s leg off from the knee and then he had one heavy hand on Hanzawa’s ankle. “Oh.” says Sasaki. “I forgot.”

Hanzawa blinks at him, then yawns. Then, woken up, faces the back of the couch and lets slip half a laugh before it occurs to him to raise a hand and say, “Sorry…”

Sasaki turns back around. “Did we leave the TV on?” A high-budget commercial silently advertises the revival of some reality show. He squints at it a second longer before pulling himself to his feet.

“I suppose we did. Unless he turned it on himself?”

“He would’ve pissed himself seeing us here before he ever got to the remote.”

Hanzawa coughs loose that second half. He asks, “The time?”

Another reluctant glance at the TV screen. Oops, “Six-fourteen.”

Hanzawa rubs his nose and murmurs, “Oops.” He adds, “Though I guess we could have guessed by looking outside.” The window is a canvas painted over with oils. That streetlamp beyond it has always made a racket but in this dark it rattles under Sasaki’s skin and stays there, buzzing. A few moths orbit helplessly around it but the two of them are otherwise pretty much on their own.

Looking at it another way, Sasaki is pretty much on his own. Hanzawa swings his feet off of the couch and onto the floor, standing with a few disjointed pops and cracks.

Ouch. Sasaki turns back towards the window. “Well,” he says to the moths outside, “I guess I don’t have anything to be doing tomorrow.”

“You’re not meeting anyone?” Hanzawa floats to join him at his right. The way he asks is pointed.

Sasaki doesn’t really turn to face him about it, either way. “Didn’t have anything planned.” He sighs a little. “You kinda wore me out today anyway.”

Hanzawa laughs, “It was fun though.” He pauses; Sasaki sees him turn his head. “Right?”

The buzzing scratches at his throat. Before he can reply Hanzawa moves on to ask, “Have you ever played chess, Sasaki?”

“...Mm?”

“I saw a chessboard at the market earlier and I keep thinking about it.”

Nothing is keeping you here. Keep going?

“Think my older sister keeps our old shogi board somewhere. Been a long time since I saw it last.”

Hanzawa hums thoughtfully. Sasaki can halfway see him holding his chin. “Were you any good at it?”

“Not really.”

Laughter. He collects himself to ask, “Were you bad or was she just better?”

Keep going? “Dunno. I don’t think I ever thought very hard about my next move.”

Hanzawa hums some more. Sasaki turns his head the slightest bit to see Hanzawa’s slowly swaying. A second longer shows him his shut eyes. “Did you ever regret a move right after making it?”

You don’t even remember where the pieces go. Keep going? “...Probably.” The lamp outside wavers for a second. The moths return to their pursuit with heightened fervor. Keep going? The old dog a few houses away barks to remember he’s still kicking. Keep going? Sasaki inclines his head enough to glance at him directly. “Did you?”

Sasaki watches him shift his weight from one foot to the other. His mouth opens.

The lights come on. The both of them turn blearily to watch Ogasawara Jirou catch his breath in the doorway. Whatever double-meaning thing Hanzawa was going to say melts into an astonishingly natural-sounding, “Welcome home!”

He’s met with a suspicious look. Sasaki, outside of whatever that is, stares blankly at him. “What are you doing here?” Ogasawara asks.

Sasaki looks down at Hanzawa, who replies, “Sasaki was returning a CD.”

Sasaki looks back at Ogasawara, who frowns. He clarifies, “What are you doing here?” Sasaki watches him realize how pointless a question it is. He redirects: “How’d you even get inside?” He and Hanzawa point at the window. Ogasawara throws his shoes down next to Sasaki’s and trudges miserably to the couch. He lies down. He buries his face in his hands.

Keep going? “I think I’ve had enough of today now,” Sasaki says plainly.

Ogasawara whines, “Sasaki…”

Sasaki doesn’t hear him, so he puts his shoes back on. Hanzawa volunteers to walk with him to the station.

They don’t make it as far as the station.

The weekend crowd beyond the neighborhood is loud, rowdy, and dense. The train station, a beacon in the bustle, seems like it would be a massive pain in the ass to reach. Sasaki gives up. He turns pliantly towards Hanzawa, awaiting their next destination. Hanzawa smiles at him. “I’m dead tired,” he says.

Sasaki pulls his eyes open. “...You’re tired?”

Hanzawa tilts his head. “...Hm?”

“Never mind. What now?”

Hanzawa’s hand returns to his chin while he thinks. “I figure Ogasawara would let you back in. You should go keep him company.”

Sasaki glances over his shoulder, back at the mouth of the neighborhood. He can basically hear Ogasawara’s cries already. “Mm. What’re you gonna do?”

Instead of answering, Hanzawa takes a few rhythmic steps towards the shifting crowd, head swaying along to the ending refrain of the music floating out of the nearest convenience store. He calls, up and away more than at him, “Bye, Sasaki! I had fun today.”

Sasaki watches him shake off the familiarity he’d put on. Another three steps to the rhythm like he’s dancing; Sasaki gets a feeling like he’s watching him through a restaurant fish tank. It feels kinda bad. His eyebrows pinch together. “...I’ll see you later, Hanzawa.”

In the time it takes Sasaki to blink one time, Hanzawa does an about-face to stare back at him. He’s making that glowy face again. Sasaki squints, then concedes.

By the time Sasaki opens his eyes again, Hanzawa is nowhere to be seen.

—

“It was a long day today…”

Sasaki shoves at him with his feet to make more room, squints at him dubiously, “...What had you busy?”

Ogasawara scrubs his hand over his face. “Long story. Did Hanzawa get you, too?”

Sasaki forces his eyes open again, “What do you mean, ‘too’?”

Ogasawara’s voice is gravelly. “Nothing.”

Sasaki forces his eyes open again. “...Does it have something to do with your girlfriend?”

Ogasawara says something woeful about infidelity yaoi.

Sasaki forces his eyes open again, says something he distantly recognizes as nonsense.

“Hey, Sasaki?”

Mmm?

“Just sleep.”

#ssmyhrkgwinterexchange2024 #ssmygiftexchange #dirtbrain writing #there's a lot of background. there is frankly too much background. Please ask me about the background #sasaki to miyano #sasaki shuumei #hanzawa masato

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