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talesofmoony · 1 month ago

Note

can I request marylily where lily has a breakdown because shes a little nervous about being queer but mary comforts her and its all fluffy? angst with a happy ending? thanks!

Blueberries and Hibiscus

summary: Lily smells Mary in their Amortentia brew and has a bit of a gay crisis.

rating: T

cw: internalized homophobia, panic attack

a/n: hello hello! here you go :) i hope i did your prompt justice. this was my first time writing for marylily, and i thoroughly enjoyed it.

you can also find it on ao3 posted here.

requests are currently open, so please feel free to send me any you may have, or just check in and say hello!

This was not how today was supposed to go. Lily was supposed to go to class, ace her potions exam for which she had been pouring over in the library all night, and end the evening relaxing in the common room with her friends.

What she had not expected was for the test out for their unit of potions to be Amortentia. Initially, when Slughorn had announced to the class the potion they would be tested with, Lily had thought little of it. Coming up on the latter half of their fifth year, the class was bound to reach this unit at some point. She was partnered with Mary, which she was grateful for, as Mary was quite the potions expert. This would be easy, Lily assured herself.

Both girls had been performing fairly well, Lily grinding up moonstone while Mary gathered fresh peppermint leaves and bundles of rose thorns to finish off the potion. Lily’s piercing green eyes met Mary’s dark brown ones in a quick glance, the dark-eyed girl sending Lily a crooked grin before returning to her task of separating the peppermint leaves from the stem of the bundle.

Lily was unable to tear her eyes away, utterly transfixed by the way Mary’s long, slender digits gripped each leaf carefully, pulling it slowly away from the green stem. Her eyes traveled to the tips of Mary’s fingers, where her nails were perfectly manicured and painted a light lavender, tips perfectly rounded into an almond shape.

“You good?” Mary whispered into the shell of Lily’s ear. She could feel Mary’s breath as it softly blew down her neck, causing her body to release a violent shiver.

Lily jerked her head up, realizing too late that she was mere inches away from Mary as she stared directly at her, eyes straining to keep contact with coffee-colored irises instead of drifting back down to her best friend’s handiwork.

“Mhm. Yeah. Um, I’m good, great! Yeah, um-” The words tumbled out of Lily’s mouth, uncoordinated and distinctly not her usual demeanor. She hurried herself with finishing her task of grinding down the moonstone, brain short-circuiting trying to figure out exactly why she was reacting this way to Mary simply existing.

Once all of their ingredients were prepared, they mixed them in accordingly, Lily stirring the liquid clockwise three times at the addition of the powdered moonstone. To top it off, Mary scooped up the finely collected peppermint leaves, leaning into Lily’s side as she dropped them carefully into the cauldron. In their closeness, Mary’s dark brown curls brushed the side of Lily’s cheek, and the red-haired girl caught a whiff of the taller girl’s shampoo.

Blueberries and hibiscus, Lily thought to herself. She had smelt it before, the scent always wafting out from their dorm room's shared bathroom after Mary took a shower, steamrolling over the top of the wooden door as she emerged. The scent calmed her.

As they removed the potion from the open flame, Slughorn made his way to the front of the classroom, announcing in a bellowing voice, “Alright, everyone. Now, we will go around the room. Each person is to take a smell of the potion and announce to the class what scent they find. It is sure to reveal some interesting things, I assure you!”

His voice maintained a jovial tone, despite the rising whispers emerging from the students. Murmurs echoed through the hollow walls of the classroom, a few of the less mature students snickering, hands covering their mouths. Everyone was privy to the meaning of what Amortentia smelled like, as it took the scent of the one a person most desires.

Lily preoccupied herself with twisting the silver, daisy-adorned ring that sat on her thumb, a gift from Mary herself for Lily’s fifteenth birthday this year. She hadn’t told Mary, but it had been her favorite gift she received, something she interacted with every day. Something that brought her mind back to those sweet, brown eyes and wild grin, lifting her when she was feeling down.

All normal things to think about one's best friend, of course.

Mary dug her elbow into Lily’s side and gestured to the now-simmering, pearlescent liquid that sat in their shared cauldron. “Want me to go first?”

Before she could even form a proper thought on the proposition, Mary was already leaning closer to the cauldron, bringing her hand above the liquid and carefully wafting the scent towards her face. She breathed in, letting her eyes fall shut, her peach-toned lips closing with a quiet hum of contentment.

“Lavender, old books, and earl grey,” Mary hummed, peeking open her left eye to glance over at Lily, the corner of her lips tipping into a small smile. Her eyes glazed over slightly as she opened both of them, blinking slowly, her gaze now firmly stuck on Lily. “Your turn now, Lils.”

Lily’s mouth gaped slightly, her tongue resting at the top of her mouth as she contemplated why her brain was freezing over at the moment. What was going on with her?

She shifted on her feet, carefully leaning over the cauldron and repeating Mary’s previous actions, letting the smell waft into her nostrils. Lily settled into the scent, her mind going numb as she worked to identify the various smells. Several aromas assaulted her senses: cinnamon, quill ink, and roses, but there was one more she just couldn’t place.

During the time she had been attempting to pick out the stubborn fragrance, Mary had inched closer, her curls brushing up against her best friend’s cheek again. Lily froze on the spot, instantly recognizing the last scent.

Blueberries and hibiscus.

Oh.

Fuck. She was in love with her best friend. She smelt Mary in the Amortentia.

“What do you smell?” Mary asked softly, completely unaware of the mounting feeling of absolute dread and panic burrowing itself in Lily’s stomach.

She immediately jerked away from Mary’s touch. Her eyes glided up to meet Mary’s, but she averted her gaze, focused on shoving her quill set and parchment roll of notes into her satchel as swiftly as possible. Lily was aware of the look of confusion tinged with hurt that flashed in Mary’s eyes, no doubt confused at her brash and violent reaction to a less than invasive question.

Lily took one more look at her best friend, realizing now that Mary was the subject of the scent within their batch of Amortentia, and stuttered out a wobbly, “I’m sorry, I can’t. I have to go. I’m sorry, Mary.”

With that, Lily swung her satchel over her left shoulder, hauling herself out of her stool and through the wooden door of the potions classroom. She rounded the hall into the stone-lined corridor outside of the potions classroom, her chest shuddering with rattling breaths as she fought to get back to the common room as quickly as possible. Her legs shook as the bottoms of her feet made contact with the hard stone steps, black oxfords clacking harshly with each step she took.

When she finally made her way to the portrait of the painted lady, Lily had to screech the password when the fat lady didn’t understand her the first time, earning her an offended scoff. After getting inside, she ran past the seating area nestled by the fireplace, where a concerned Remus noticed her emotional state and stood to approach her.

He wouldn't get the chance, as Lily flew past him, running up the stairs and into her dorm room, slamming the door behind her. Her bag was quickly abandoned by the post of her bed, each step dragging down her very being until she collapsed onto her bed and shut the curtains behind her.

Lily’s chest wracked with viscous sobs, her shoulders heaving and her hands shaking as she took in ragged breaths, only to force them out immediately as she cried even harder. Why, Lily thought. Why did this have to happen?

Her hands palmed the colorful quilt that adorned her bed, another gift from Mary for last Christmas, one that was handmade and had no doubt taken her best friend hours of work to produce. The very thought only made Lily cry harder because this wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn’t supposed to like girls. She needed to be the perfect daughter, marry the perfect man, and have perfect children. Perfect, that’s what she needed to be, not this.

Her thoughts rattled between her ears, a dull pain blooming in her chest as her panic mounted, shallow breaths breaching the line between sobs and hyperventilation. She was unable to get a grasp on her own mind, her thoughts a repeated mess of this isn’t happening and no, no, no.

As if it couldn’t get any worse, Lily heard steps approaching outside of her shared dorm room, followed by the soft click of the door opening slowly, creaking on the old, rusted hinges. She knew who it was before she even caught a glimpse through the cracked curtain, smelling the familiar scent of blueberries and hibiscus that haunted her every being.

“Lily, honey? What’s wrong?” she heard Mary speak, softly as to not startle her sensitive state.

Lily watched as the curtain shifted, those beautiful coffee-brown eyes shifting into view, only serving to make Lily’s sobs increase in severity. She’d never realized how beautiful Mary was, her features and entire existence pulling Lily in like a siren’s song. Lily would follow her into the sea if Mary only asked.

She wouldn't, though, because she wasn’t like Lily. Mary was normal.

As Lily’s panicked state picked up, Mary shifted her weight onto the bed, carefully bringing her hand up to cup the back of Lily’s neck and shift her, the other girl’s head laid across her lap. She coiled ginger locks around her fingers, and the action was so soothing that Lily couldn’t bear to demand she stop.

Mary’s other hand shifted up and down Lily’s back, gently caressing the smooth, freckled skin that poked out from the bottom of her sweater. The feeling sent shivers up Lily’s body, a shake ricocheting through her, down to her very bones. Little did she know, Mary shared the same sentiment, electricity bolting through her fingertips and up her arms at the mere contact she made with the other girl’s warmed skin.

Careful not to startle the girl below her, Mary shifted her hand up Lily’s side until it came to rest on her cheek. Slowly, she caressed the soft skin, grinning slightly as Lily seemed to subconsciously nestle into her hand, seeking some sense of warmth and connection. The hand then gently pressed on Lily’s cheek, prompting her to make eye contact with the girl whose lap she laid across.

“Tell me what’s going on, Lils,” Mary gently whispered, “What has you so worked up and scared? You nearly ran into the wall of the potions classroom trying to get out of there so fast.” Her eyes searched Lily’s, looking for some clue to what was ailing her best friend. “Was it something with the potion?”

Lily froze again, and though she had calmed down, her breath began to quicken again, her gaze darting away to stare a hole in the bed curtain. If she stared hard enough, maybe she would be able to burn a hole through it and distract herself from the feeling of pure dread coursing through her veins.

“There’s something wrong with me. I smelt blueberries and hibiscus,” she whispered into the air, “I don't know why this is happening. I can’t be this way. We can’t be this way.” Her gaze found Mary’s again, and she watched as a look of pure understanding dawned on her best friend’s face.

Lily clenched her eyes shut, wishing away her entire existence to put off the inevitable rejection she was sure to face. This was it, she was going to ruin the one good thing in her life, all because she couldn't keep her shit together and just be normal. Lily could feel the negativity she felt for herself spreading, her brain a repeated barrage of condemning thoughts. Mary was going to hate her, not only for ruining their friendship, but for liking her. This wasn’t something people did at Hogwarts. Girls weren't allowed to like each other, to hold feelings, to love. Boys too. Not in that way.

When she felt a gentle caress on her cheek, Lily opened her eyes again. However, instead of being met with a look of complete disdain or disgust as she expected, she was instead met with a look of kindness and warmth. Mary’s fingertips stroked her cheekbone, moving up to the area just under her eye where Lily could feel her touch flutter across her eyelashes.

Finally, Mary’s touch found its way to Lily’s pink, stress-bitten lips, brushing over them delicately. Her touch felt like an ask, a request for permission to do something Lily wasn’t sure she was able to even comprehend in her current state.

“Do you know what I smelt?” Mary murmured, her fingertips not leaving Lily’s lips as she gently pushed further in, nails gently tapping against Lily’s teeth, “Lavender, old books, and earl grey tea. Your favorite.”

This can’t actually be happening, Lily thought, eyes searching for the glare of a joke in Mary’s own expression, some indication that Mary was simply taking the piss and would begin laughing any minute now.

As if she could read Lily’s mind, Mary looked directly into her bright green eyes, giving a soft shake of her head against the negative thoughts racing through the other girl’s head. “I’m real, you’re real, this is real,” she whispered, “We can be this, you don’t need to be afraid of it.”

“Are you sayin-”

“I smelt you in the Amortentia, Lils, no one else.”

A silence fell over the room, the only audible sound being both girls’ soft breathing paired with their equally fast-paced heartbeats as they shared a look, one only they could understand the true meaning of. Green eyes met brown, both of their faces opening into an expression of pure adoration and love, both as friends and as lovers, apparently.

This was happening, Lily realized. She smelt Mary in the Amortentia, and Mary smelt her, which could only mean that Mary felt the exact same way she did. That only served to make Lily’s next realization even harder, as it dawned on her they couldn’t be together.

“But this isn’t okay. We aren’t allowed to do this” Lily breathed out, shoulders sagging.

It wasn’t news to anyone that queer couples aren't really a thing at Hogwarts. Sure, Sirius and Remus had something going on, but Sirius was so outwardly affectionate that no one spared a second glance when he placed a big kiss on Remus’ cheek, and no one thought any different when Remus turned bright red in response. Also, if anyone did have something to say, Lily was sure someone would find themselves on the wrong side of Sirius’ wand.

Mary looked at Lily curiously, lips quirked up in one corner as she let out a chuckle. “Who the fuck cares what we’re supposed to do? I certainly don’t, and neither will our friends. Sometimes, people need a push to accept things they don’t understand. We don’t have to be outwardly over-affectionate,” Mary spoke confidently. “I want you, Lils. I want us. I want you here, in this dorm. I want you outside in the common room, in the Great Hall, in potion class, and everywhere else. If you need to take this slow, that’s okay. But I need you to understand that your having feelings for me is okay. It is not wrong. We are perfect just as we are. Nothing about that needs to change, and fuck what anyone else thinks.”

Lily stared up at Mary, hoping her expression conveyed the deep amount of appreciation and love she felt for the other girl. Her panic had subsided, and she found herself able to separate her thoughts easier, letting Mary’s kind and sure words seep into her mind. “Okay”, she breathed out.

This time, however, her words did not hold the finality and angst they previously held, but instead an air of hope and positivity. They can do this, this is okay. If Mary believes it is, then Lily has no reason to doubt her. She’s never known her to be wrong, after all.

Lily pushed up onto her elbows, Mary’s hand moving from her cheek to rest on her hip as both girls shifted up to lean against the headboard, limbs tangled together in a beautiful mess. Lily caressed the tanned skin of Mary’s midsection, her hand eventually coming to rest on the other girl's, fingers tangling together in an unspoken bond.

As she pressed herself into Mary’s side, feeling a hand wrap around her midsection and pull her closer, Lily had just one thought.

Yeah. We’re going to be okay.

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my-castles-crumbling · 1 month ago

Text

I like him

for shower thoughts anon :D - jegulus, marylily, drarry -word count: 661

"It's got to be Ginny," James said, sitting back onto the sofa next to Regulus and sipping at his glass of wine. "I mean...c'mon. He's been looking at her for a while! She's pretty, funny, a damn good Quidditch player..."

"And a redhead," Lily chimed in from the loveseat, winking at her ex-husband.

"And a redhead," James acknowledged, inclining his head with a chuckle. "I'd bet money on her being his girlfriend."

"Sure, she's pretty," Regulus, who was sitting next to James, drawled, "but she used to pine after him! Harry's going to walk in here with Hermione, just you wait. She's pretty as well, and she's smart, and they've been friends for ages."

"Ginny's smart!" James retorted, sounding offended, like Regulus had said something about James's own intelligence.

"Sure, but Hermione's grades are top tier," Regulus shrugged. "Nobody can beat them."

"Hermione's in love with Ron, I guarantee it," Lily said confidently, sipping at her own drink. "Hermione and Harry get on too well. There's no tension there."

"Poor Hermione. Why do the smart ones always fall for the emotionally stunted?" Regulus mumbled, smirking when James shouted 'Oi!'

But after scoffing at his husband, James sighed and addressed the room at large. "Alright. Let's say it's not Ginny or Hermione. Who, then? Cho? Luna?"

Finally, Mary, who was sitting next to Lily, gave a little giggle.

"You have an idea, love?" Lily asked curiously, turning to her wife.

Mary grinned. "No, it's none of my business," she said airily.

"You've known Harry since he was a baby," Regulus replied, rolling his eyes. "Just because you've only officially become his stepmother recently-"

"Ugh, 'stepmother' sounds awful...like I'm going to lock him in a tower..." Mary grimaced.

"Whatever. What're you thinking?" James asked eagerly.

"Isn't it obvious?" Mary said, eyes on Regulus, who gave her an annoyed head shake. "I'd bet my life he walks in with Draco Malfoy."

James and Regulus's sitting room was silent for a long time.

"Nah, that's-"

"There's no fucking way-"

But Regulus was the one who said thoughtfully, "No...she has a point."

James stared at his husband like he had three heads. "Love...Harry hates Draco, you know this! You...you both make fun of Lucius Malfoy together!"

"Yes, it's great bonding," Regulus agreed slowly. "And I'd sooner die than say anything nice about my cousin or her husband. Why do you think I haven't so much as sent them a letter in almost twenty years? But...well, you and Harry are very similar, James."

"Meaning what?" James asked incredulously.

Lily let out a little laugh of understanding. "Meaning he could also fall for the grumpy, pretentious Slytherin with a shit upbringing and a horrible outlook on life and somehow realize that said Slytherin isn't as shit as his family is."

Regulus frowned. "Grumpy?"

James, however, gave Lily an affronted look. "Are you saying that our son inherited my...what? Attraction to Slytherins?"

"Maybe your attraction to people who insult you, too," Mary mumbled from next to Lily, and everyone laughed except James.

"But I-" James began to argue his case, but before he could, there was a crack! outside, and loud voices could be heard.

"...was going to tell them! I just didn't know how!"

"You can't just surprise your family with this, Potter! They may be 'nice people' but they're still capable of going into heart failure!"

"Listen, Malfoy, it's going to be fine. They don't care who I date, as long as I'm-"

"-Happy, yes, well trust me, I'm not going to be making you happy for a long time if this goes poorly because you didn't give them the decency of a warning!"

"Listen, you need to talk quieter, alright? They can probably hear, and..."

And the voices trailed off into whispers, all four adults looked at each other with wide eyes.

"Well....I like him," Mary said, breaking into a grin. "But I'm just the stepmother, so..."

Everyone else groaned and moved towards the dining room.

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