#mary x joseph

[dilutedh2so4]

What do we think of this? Explanations below 😭

Jezebel x Ahab - The Phoenician princess Jezebel was married to king Ahab of Israel as part of a political alliance. She was key in the attempt to replace the Israelite state religion with her own, killing a few people along the way. She also got Ahab the vineyard he wanted (..through some murderous means..) when his own negotiations failed. Definitely the top in that relationship ;)

Jesus x Judas - something something, must you betray me with a kiss, something something, do what you are here to do, something something, he went and hanged himself

Eve x Lilith - Now, in the Bible, Lilith is only actually mentioned in Isaiah (as an evil spirit), then expanded upon in later tradition (to explain the two Creation accounts in Genesis). In this later tradition, she was said to be Adam's first wife who wouldn't submit to him, so God made another from his rib: Eve. I don't think they ever met, but I have seen some fanart, so here they are

Ruth x Naomi - MY OTP. Canon, because I said so. Tragic, because basically all their male relatives die and then Ruth has to marry Boaz for security. Ruth 1:16-17 my beloved 💔

Jacob x Leah - Put this here as a joke about the fact that Jacob always preferred her sister Rachel over Leah herself, and was tricked into marrying her by Laban.

Mary x Joseph - Two thirds of the Holy Family: the ever-compassionate Mother of God (in Christianity) and the step-dad who Stepped Up. See Matthew 1 & 2, Luke 1 & 2, or the (apocryphal) Protoevangelium of James for more

Devorah x Jael - Doesn't make sense as they never actually meet, but when you have two gaslight-gatekeep-girlbosses in the same chapter, they gotta be together. Don't usually recommend reading Judges (for your own mental health), but maybe look into Judges 4 just for them ;)

David x Jonathan - Where to begin? With how Jonathan's soul was said to be bound with David's, and how he loved him as himself? (1 Sam. 18:1-5) Jonathan risking his life to help David escape King Saul's wrath? (1 Sam. 19 and 20) The pair weeping and kissing before they part? (1 Sam. 20:41) David, in his mourning for [spoilers] Jonathan's death, calling his love more wonderful than that of women? (2 Sam. 1)

Absalom x Mephibosheth - David's son and Jonathan's son, whom David adopted. The two fans are @anniflamma and @sir-davey

Daniel x Darius - King Darius the Mede and the eunuch from Judah he falls for at first sight. Or something. Idk, ask anniflamma

Judith x unnamed maid - It does make sense, I swear. Probably unpopular because it's in the Deuterocanon, and also you have to be really looking for it -- but it is there, I promise!!!

St Paul - Just see 1 Corinthians 7

Don't take this too seriously lol, it's all in good fun :))

Feel free to add what you would have done differently / your own propaganda!

[clarythericebot]

K this just proves that Mary x Joseph are otp

Can we become we No longer known as just you and me Two separate lives now in unity Stuck here together but Will this always be just an arrangement?

Can we become more Than half of a union we're chosen for? Where I am your best half And I am yours Stuck here forever And hopefully not ending in estrangement

It's the step of faith We have to take sometimes (if I'm with you, I can take it) But if we are one What happens to you and I? (If I'm with you, I will make it)

Will this always be just an arrangement We'll find out in time if we don't break it

Can mine become yours Combining our dreams Without keeping score? Always together, but never bored No choice in the matter but This will never work without each other

Can we become we? (Can we become we?) Start a new line on this family tree Two hearts connected by one beat Your hand in mine and I could never choose to love another Maybe one day I can learn to love you, too

[rougepancake]

𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐍 that know how to treat a woman. You know this isn’t their first rodeo, and it’s clear it won’t be their last. They put your pleasure above their own, making it their goal to tease you until you cry.

𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐍 that make sure your neighbors can hear you. They have no shame when it comes to making you feel good, or making you loud.

𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐍 that whisper “it’s okay baby” while they go down on you. Their thrusts are harsh, but their kisses aren’t, and they make sure to talk you through the whole thing.

𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐌𝐄𝐍 who have you calling them back because you know no one else can do you as well as they can.

Welt Yang, Old Joseph Joestar, Pt. 6 Jotaro Kujo, Endeavor, Shinjuro Rengoku, Zhongli

[oletus-writer]

Heyy can I have Wu Chang, Mary and Joseph reacting to their s/o giving their mini pet versions more love and affection then them? They think the pets are too cute to not give attention to

Sorry if I made any mistakes English isn’t my first language :)

I do believe I’ve seen people write for Joseph’s pet receiving more attention than him, but here’s my shot at this.

Wu Chang, Mary, and Joseph getting jealous of their mini versions

Warnings: slight jealousy

Xie Bi’an

At first, he thought the fact that you had a mini Wu Chang as your pet was pretty cute, until you began giving it more affection than you gave him.

Of course, he was happy that you were happy, but the bitter pangs of jealousy began creeping up on him.

‘Qin ai de - ah, you’re playing with your pet again... Well, please don’t let me disturb you.’

He wanted to say something else, but left as you hugged the mini Wu Chang to your chest.

He’d plan dates with only you and him (and Wujiu, if you were also dating him) and amp up the sulking if you had brought your pet with you.

‘Ah, I thought I had specified that this date was only for you and me, but you brought it along… it looks like you love it more than me.’ But of course, this was in a joking tone, no matter how he felt.

Expect a lot more of romantic gestures and pampering, as if he was saying ‘I don’t understand why you give the pet more attention than you give me. Look - I can treat you better.’

Fan Wujiu

Unlike Bi’an, he was kind of annoyed that you had a mini version of him. What to cuddle him? Just ask. Want children? Well, that would be quite a conversation. Everything the mini version of him could do, he could do better.

So, when he saw you pampering the pet more than you gave attention to him, he was quite infuriated. Marching towards you, he snatched it from your hands.

‘Give me affection, then I’ll give you back your pet.’

While his directness can be appreciated, sometimes it would be too much. You explained that it was a harmless pet, and that you were comforting it because it was sad you got chaired first.

Hearing this, Wujiu calmed down and stroked the head of the mini him thoughtfully. ‘I did not expect these tiny things to be capable of feeling emotions. How interesting.’

Still, he’d prefer you go to him immediately after matches, especially since you could potentially get injured.

Mary

Sometimes, Mary would get pretty insecure - was she a good girlfriend? There were many other good candidates in the manor, yet you still stuck by her side. She was sure that you would eventually leave her, so seeing a little pet that looked like her to keep you company reassured her a little bit.

That was until you began giving it more affection than you gave her.

She saw an example of this in a match you had with her - you had asked her not to go easy on you, so she obliged, leading you to be chaired. You were comforting the shivering mini Mary, which made the former queen quite displeased.

‘How dare you! You are my lover first, and then the owner of that pet second. Now, as we wait for your teammates to rescue you, shall we have a lovely chat?’

Slightly puzzled, you were rescued by your teammate and Mary continued to chase you.

Be prepared for intense courting, European style, after you finish every match. She can’t stand someone else sweeping you off your feet, even if it’s a mini version of her.

‘Ma chere/mon cher, I had Emma pick the best flowers for you. Now be a dear and let me braid these in your hair/make you a flower crown.’

Joseph

The Frenchies are very similar in how they react to your pet. How lovely of you to have a little remainder of him every where you go! To By God, why are you giving it more attention than you give him?

He’ll also attempt to win your attention by going on more extravagant dates, and all in all spending more time with you.

‘Beau, would you like for me to show you some recipes that… Claude and I used to enjoy? Can you bring your pet? No, I’m afraid it may cause a mess.’

Out of your sight, he’d be rather petty with his mini version. From glaring to knocking if off the table, he’s not going to accept another competitor. Of course, he’d stop if you asked, begrudgingly, but be sure to reassure him that he’ll be the only one in your eyes.

[such-g00d-luck]

you know it hits hard

[mizugure66]

identity V sketch drop :v

[my4ththerapist]

It’s so crazy to think of the size dofference between fandoms, cuz I’ll be looking for a trc fic and the last one was posted 3 weeks ago, but there’ll sooooooo many marauders fics posted in like a couple hours

[derputy]

Far Cry 5 as Community (with terrible closed captions) Because I'm Running Out of Ideas & I Thought It Kinda Fit || @racheljo47 @ms-rampage @i-am-the-balancing-point

[onceuponapuffin]

I wrote a thing on Ao3

@starmaker-astral asked, so I dug out this old wip, and @gypsie102 said they were excited to read it, so I finished it.

I guess what I'm saying is...anyone want to read a Nativity Minisode in June?

[oletus-writer]

Identity V Hunter Masterlist

Alva Lorenz

Nsfw Alva imagines

Feminine male s/o

S/o who’s into body worship

Touch-starved s/o

General headcanons

Antonio

Reader who says dirty jokes but is actually bashful

Nsfw headcannons

Size difference (sfw and nsfw headcannons)

Reserved s/o

Cuddle headcanons

Carrying reader by his hair

Hastur

God reader

Nsfw alphabet

Breeding kink

Grace

Flirty s/o

Nsfw alphabet

Jack

Flirty s/o

Nsfw alphabet

Reader who is as dangerous as they are

Nsfw headcannons with small s/o

Jealous of their mini pet version

Joseph Desauliner

Jealous of their mini pet version

Reader who is short and will beat you in a fight

Nsfw alphabet

Keigan Nicholas Keogh

Insecure reader

Taking care of sick reader

Flirty s/o

Nsfw alphabet

Reader who is a cinnamon roll

S/o who’s into body worship

Reader who is short and will beat you in a fight

Touch-starved s/o

Luchino Diruse (hunter)

Reader who says dirty jokes but is actually bashful

Nsfw alphabet

Mary

Jealous of their mini pet version

Melly Plinius (hunter)

With an s/o that kites well

S/o who doesn’t rest when sick

Jealous of their mini pet version

Norton Campbell (hunter)

With an s/o that kites well

S/o who doesn’t rest when sick

General headcanons

Jealous of their mini pet version

Wu Chang

Jealous of their mini pet version

Reader who says dirty jokes but is actually bashful

Platonic headcannons

Nsfw headcannons

Xie Bi’an nsfw alphabet

Fan Wujiu nsfw alphabet

Yidhra

God reader

Follower s/o

[teabreakpancakes]

im in love with the way you think @bobabees

A Baker's Struggles Bloody Queen, Photographer, Wu Chang, Geisha, Axe Boy, "Disciple", "Hermit", Naiad, and Feaster & GN Baker Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff

Wasted Delicacy

"Son of a biscuit" the baker mutters, hearing their heartbeat race, indicating that the hunter was nearby. Three ciphers had already been popped beforehand but the thing is, whilst going around the map and healing the injured survivors with your treats, the hunter found you by tracing the aroma of your goodies.

"Luca," they spoke, carding their fingers through the inventor's soft brown locks. Luca hums, head twitching as he nibbled on the cookie, occupied with the cipher machine. "Dear, the hunter is nearby, I suggest scurrying off to another cipher so they don't target you" they coaxed, gently pushing the brunette off the cipher machine.

The inventor blinks owlishly, nodding with a toothy smile, "Thanks, s, see you later" he waves, running off to the nearest cipher. They smile before continuing the unfinished cipher, waiting for the hunter to appear.

The hunter draws nearer and nearer, making their heartbeat pick up more and more. They nod, picking up their basket and vaulting the window, activating their speedboost.

Looking behind them, they spot the hunter a few meters away from them, already preparing their abilities.

They really didn't mean to make you spill your cookies, so when they accidentally smacked the basket out of your hands, they really didn't intend to do so. Your eyes remained stuck on the treats splayed across the ground.

The hunter approached the still survivor, surprised to see you walking near them with a downcast gaze. You point to their weapon, "End me already" they said, tone void of any emotion.

The hunter eyes you, unsure of what to do, sure, it is a free kill, but it's no fun if you won't even try.

Footsteps approach the two, stilling at the sight of the hunter. They watch with interest as they attempt to console the devastated survivor.

Why did they want to try consoling one of the various pain in the asses they had to deal with? they didn't know either, it just... came over them.

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘

"Now now, you're a baker, surely, you have more?" the queen chided in an almost questioning manner. The baker frowned at her words, "Those were all the cookies I baked" they replied solemnly, voice quiet.

Mary, unsure of what to say, instead chose to let out a quiet "ah", waiting for you to speak—she wouldn't want to make a fool out of herself trying to pry more from someone that would eventually speak up. The baker looked up at her, gaze never wavering, "I spent three hours on those, I made extra for everyone too" they spoke, frustration rolling off their tongue.

Mary didn't know how to respond, but, by instinct, she placed one of her cold hands on top of their head. "I don't think it would be too late to let everyone have a taste if we ended the match right now," she paused, a bit unsure of how she should continue.

"I'll... even try to help if you'd like" she whispered, patting their head gently as if they were her child—it could just be that she was missing her own children but it wouldn't be so bad if she indulged just a bit.

𝐉𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐏𝐇 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐋𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐑𝐒

"Are you really just going to remain in that position until I strike you because of some pastries?" the older man questioned, a bit annoyed because a survivor was throwing a tantrum over pastries. The baker sighed, mumbling something the former count wasn't able to decipher.

"Speak up, no one can hear you with how quiet you are" Joseph frowned, leaning down slightly in order to hear them a bit better. "I, I made a lot more than usual so everyone could have a taste even after the match—those were the last ones" they grumbled, frustration piercing through their upset exterior.

The photographer's mouth parts slightly, eyes softening. He had read the baker's background beforehand, he remembered that they valued the art of baking much more than other bakers, to them, pastries are things you should pour your heart into making.

"I apologise for being insensitive, I," he paused, wondering about how to proceed. After thinking for a few more seconds, a lightbulb lights up in the french man's head. "Would you like me to teach you a recipe my... brother and I used to love?" he offered, albeit a bit hesitantly. He watches your eyes light up at the idea, taken aback when you embrace him. "Yes, I would" you mouth into his waist coat, smiling when he returns the hug.

𝐗𝐈𝐄 𝐁𝐈'𝐀𝐍 & 𝐅𝐀𝐍 𝐖𝐔𝐉𝐈𝐔

Bi'an lowered the umbrella, looking down at the survivor with concerned eyes. Wujiu was displeased, Why are they so upset over pastries? he complained, sighing in irritation.

The white guard kneels before them, umbrella tucked under his arm. He takes their hand in his, rubbing it reassuringly. His smile is small but apologetic, amethyst eyes uncertain yet firm with resolve.

"Are you alright?" he asks, his soft baritone sounding comforting to your ears. You sniffle slightly, shaking your head—looking into his enchanting orbs. He slowly moves to cup the side of your face, finding the feeling of your warmth against his cold hand pleasant.

Fan sighs from within the umbrella, feeling a bit guilty. It must've taken you a while to make those treats and now all that effort has been wasted. Perhaps, he could step out of the umbrella, he could help you with baking and Bi'an isn't all that lacking in that aspect either so he could also help. It felt oddly troublesome and yet, it felt welcome.

𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐊𝐎

Worry paints over her delicate features, she lowers her fan, slipping it into her obi. She rubs their shoulder, "I apologise for the cookies, do you have any more?" she asks, staring down at the survivor.

You swallow, shaking your head. "Those were all of them, I, I made extra for everyone but now it's all gone" you whispered, disappointment rolling off you in waves.

She smiles softly, you reminded her of the people she used to care for back when she was still alive. Michiko pulls out a small Wagashi, presenting it before the small survivor.

"If you'd like, I can help you in making more, I know quite a bit about making pastries" she offered, smiling at them genuinely. She watches their expression light up, a grateful smile gracing her. "Thank you, I would like that" they spoke, taking the Daifuku from her hand.

Gluttonous Hunters

The hunters don't need food, but that doesn't mean they don't wish to partake.

The baker huffed, leaning against the rocket chair. They shift uncomfortably, trying their best to not drop the basket in their lap. The hunter eyes the basket with interest, the pleasant aroma drawing them towards it.

They snatch the basket from your lap, obtaining a random treat and taking a bite out of the delicious dessert without paying any mind to you.

They always heard the survivors talk about how your treats were the best they've tasted, they've always wanted to judge whether or not that was true or not.

𝐀𝐋𝐕𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐙

The inventor eyed the basket with interest; whilst he was still alive, Herman would often get him to try out new dishes, recipes and treats of all sorts—but he had to admit, the aroma of your pastries stood out amongst all of the pastries he's had beforehand.

Alva leans on the wall behind him, admiring the craftsmanship of the basket. The chaired survivor eyes the tall hunter, eyes trained on his every move. Their eyes widen when he makes a move to retrieve one of their goods from the basket.

The baker frowns, "Hey! I only made enough for the survivors!" they hollered out, visibly annoyed. Alva glanced at them, cocking his head—"Will you make some for me after the match if I only eat one?" he asked, eyes holding a particular look in them that made it hard to say no.

The baker blinked repeatedly, shocked to hear the hunter being so polite during a match. They huff, nodding, "Alright, I will, b, but, don't eat those okay?" they request with a pleading look, knowing only two pastries are left. Alva smiles slightly, placing the basket in their lap gently.

𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄

Grace traced the patterns of the basket, smiling gently. The baker stared up at her, wide-eyed, in awe of the pretty woman. "Y, You can taste them if you want" they say, bashfully looking away.

The hunter eyes the survivor, she knows you're different from all the other humans but she just can't bring herself to warm up to anyone so easily.

She nods hesitantly, taking a pastry in between her two fingers before chipping off a small piece with her teeth. Her eyes widen, palate screaming with joy at the taste.

She peers down at the survivor, tapping their shoulder gently. Smiling at them softly, she ruffles their hair, hoping that it would deliver her gratitude.

𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄

The boy's mouth waters at the aroma of the pastries, hugging the basket to his chest. His head shifts up, hesitantly meeting the baker's gaze. "C, Can I have some?" the kid asks, as polite as he can be.

The baker opens their mouth, contemplating. Do I give in to the kid and spare the survivors none or... they consider, already reaching a decision. "You can eat them all, but leave one okay?" they beam.

Robbie embraces them for a bit before opening the basket and snacking on the treats. The boy practically vibrates with joy, enjoying the taste of each wonderful treat.

"Do you like them?" the baker prods, staring fondly at the sight of the hunter being a kid. The hunters all seemed human in one way or another, the baker thought, smiling. The boy nodded fervently, hand still stuck under the accessory covering his head.

𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐊𝐎

Onyx eyes widen slightly upon hearing a soft thud from behind her. Turning around, she eyes the basket on the ground. The survivor looked visibly flustered, in an awkward position that made it look like they were attempting to retrieve the basket.

The Geisha only smiled graciously, gently picking it up. She dusted off the basket before presenting it in a manner only a seasoned hostess would know how to. She placed it on their lap, gazing at them curiously when they nudge it towards her.

"Are you offering me one?" she voiced out euphoniously, lowering herself until she was face-to-face with them. You nod, "I, If you don't mind, you can have some, I made a bit more than usual" you replied, smiling at the hunter.

She smiled gratefully, gently opening the basket before taking a cookie into one of her hands. She flicks her hand fan open before taking a bite of the cookie. Her obsidian eyes seem to sparkle with each bite. Finishing the cookie, she bows to the survivor, thanking them.

𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑

His tentacles manhandle the basket, forcing out angry yells of disapproval from the survivor. He pays you no mind, examining the beautifully crafted basket.

He lifts up one of the hatches, greeted by the soft and warm aroma of their pastries. The eldritch god takes one of the cupcakes into his hand, while the baker watches in horror as a rift rips through his "face" forming a mouth.

He seems to be pleased by the taste—judging by the fact that he literally threw the basket's contents down that very same rift. Hastur emits a sound resembling a cat's purring, and slowly, the rift slowly shuts, reassuring you that you wouldn't in fact be one of the things on the menu.

He slithers close to you, placing the basket back onto your lap. "I would like for you to make more for me after the match" he requests, oddly docile as he trails his odd tentacle up your neck, purring even more when you nodded. It felt weird to have the hunter rub your body, it felt as if he was treating you as his pet.

[nickeverdeen]

Call of Duty WW2 masterlist

Match-up:

Nothing yet

Preferences:

Nothing yet

Ronald “Red” Daniels

Imagine:

Nothing yet

Hcs:

Daniels Red x chubby fem!reader

Alphabet:

Nothing yet

Robert Zussman

Imagine:

Nothing yet

Hcs:

Nothing yet

Smut:

Nothing yet

Alphabet:

Nothing yet

William Pierson

Imagine:

Nothing yet

Hcs:

Nothing yet

Smut:

Nothing yet

Alphabet:

Nothing yet

Joseph Turner

Imagine:

Nothing yet

Hcs:

Nothing yet

Alphabet:

Nothing yet

Frank Aiello

Imagine:

Nothing yet

Hcs:

Nothing yet

Smut:

Nothing yet

Alphabet:

Nothing yet

Olivia Durant

Imagine:

Nothing yet

Hcs:

Nothing yet

Smut:

Nothing yet

Alphabet:

Nothing yet

Marie Fischer

Imagine:

Nothing yet

Hcs:

Nothing yet

Smut:

Nothing yet

Alphabet:

Nothing yet

Vivian Harris

Imagine:

Nothing yet

Hcs:

Nothing yet

Smut:

Nothing yet

Alphabet:

Nothing yet

[butterflies-and-mirrors]

Get u a bestie who

redraw of that one popular meme as michimary and joseph lmao

[arabaka]

Hey- hey Marie-

ʚ｡ﾟ☁︎｡ɞ｡ marie brain so big just like Joseph's -

"B-Big..." You swallow thickly, a dull ache throbbing in your throat in anticipation for what's to come. Drool builds back up in your mouth in no time, watching the two men (though they are one in the same) stroke their engorged and leaking cocks in the same manner. Same pace, same flick of the wrist, same everything. Down to the girthy vein that runs along the frenulum to their fat and drooping balls.

God, you hope you're not fired from the Speedwagon Foundation for this.

[otakusparkle]

Identity V x Sanrio Collaboration Part 2

Only 3 days left until the end of the second collaboration!

Time flies when you're having fun... Don't miss this last chance to join the collaboration!