#Both of them have such a clear understanding of the commitment it means to fear it a little

[clarythericebot]

K this just proves that Mary x Joseph are otp

Can we become we No longer known as just you and me Two separate lives now in unity Stuck here together but Will this always be just an arrangement?

Can we become more Than half of a union we're chosen for? Where I am your best half And I am yours Stuck here forever And hopefully not ending in estrangement

It's the step of faith We have to take sometimes (if I'm with you, I can take it) But if we are one What happens to you and I? (If I'm with you, I will make it)

Will this always be just an arrangement We'll find out in time if we don't break it

Can mine become yours Combining our dreams Without keeping score? Always together, but never bored No choice in the matter but This will never work without each other

Can we become we? (Can we become we?) Start a new line on this family tree Two hearts connected by one beat Your hand in mine and I could never choose to love another Maybe one day I can learn to love you, too

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

Omae: Complexity of Self-Expression and Intimacy with the Japanese “You”

(Update: I have written a follow-up to this post wherein I exhaustively examine Katsuki's "you" pronoun usage, including every time he uses omae. Please be sure to read both posts! :D)

The anime adaption of chapter 322 is rapidly approaching, so I wanna talk about something really interesting: as far as I can tell, Izuku is the only person Katsuki has ever used the pronoun omae (おまえ) towards in-canon. Furthermore, he has only used omae towards Izuku on three occasions.

The first time is after Deku vs. Kacchan 2 in chapter 120.

The second time is right after his apology in chapter 322. (Katsuki actually uses omae four times in a row in this scene.)

(We'll get to the third time later, just you wait.)

Why does Katsuki address Izuku differently in these scenes? To answer this, we’re gonna commit some language nerdery.

First, let’s be real about the fact that Japanese pronouns can be complicated. There are a ton of them. You learn the common uses—like you could say that, broadly, omae tends to be used by guys for their friends and romantic partners. But the reality is that in a high-context language like Japanese, pronouns can come across wildly differently depending on who uses it, to whom, with what tone, and in what context.

It is difficult to generalize real-life usage, so to be clear, I am talking about MHA as a piece of media. I could try to tell you that omae is rude but also friendly but also condescending but also comedic but also confrontational but also affectionate—and so on, but that wouldn’t help you understand what Katsuki’s omae to Izuku means and why it feels significant.

The thing is, Izuku and Katsuki can each say omae and mean completely different things, because their normal way of speaking tells us how to interpret their words.

When Izuku speaks, he is polite and considerate. He uses the boyish first-person pronoun boku (僕). In Japanese, avoiding second-person pronouns is the polite thing to do; you use the person’s surname and an appropriate suffix instead, and this is the tactic Izuku uses to address others. When he does say “you,” it is usually the familiar kimi (君) towards Katsuki.

We see Izuku use omae in only a few circumstances: he uses it towards himself during inner monologues when he is trying to figure out what to do or compel himself to act, and he uses it when he faces All For One.

Both of these involve what I think of as “tough talk”—Izuku talks tough to himself to push past his fears and be a hero. With AFO, he is talking to a villain, someone he has to defeat. From someone like Izuku who speaks with such politeness and humility, omae reads as aggressive and confrontational.

Katsuki, on the other hand, is always aggressive and confrontational. He uses the masculine, somewhat boastful first-person pronoun ore (俺) and the second-person pronoun temee (てめえ) towards just about everybody. Temee is an extremely rude, combative word; Japanese descriptions usually point out that it reads like fightin’ words—it’s what you’d call an opponent, someone you are confronting, challenging, or belittling. As mentioned, you’re supposed to avoid “you” words to be polite, so the fact that Katsuki whips out temee constantly and makes up insulting nicknames instead of using anybody’s real name is just like, damn, dude!

Unlike Izuku, Katsuki sounds like he is challenging everyone all the time. This means that, coming from him, omae actually seems gentler.

After Deku vs. Kacchan 2, he opens his sentence with omae, and Izuku looks startled by this.

They just had a huge, emotional fistfight, and Katsuki… isn’t addressing him as an opponent, like he always has before. For once, he is addressing Izuku not as his enemy, but his equal.

This scene is the first time Katsuki properly grapples with the truth of their mutual weaknesses and comes to an understanding about it. It leaves him frustrated and unsure, but he walks away seeing himself and Izuku as being on the same side.

Because he takes All Might's words to heart: they are two halves of what makes a hero. They need to learn from each other and push each other to truly reach their best—as rivals, not enemies.

In chapter 322, Katsuki talks Izuku through how he felt about him all these years. He goes over all the things he's had to face to see how wrong he was, to see his own weakness and Izuku's strength. The whole time, he uses the "you" word he always has: temee.

But when it comes time to tell Izuku his true feelings, he calls Izuku by his given name, apologizes, and then right away he says this:

This is a direct call-back to the core question that Katsuki posed to Izuku during Deku vs. Kacchan 2: "Is my way of admiring All Might wrong?"

The second half to that question has always been, implicitly, "Does that mean yours is right?"

Here, Katsuki acknowledges Izuku fully as All Might's successor and affirms that Izuku's path is not wrong, using omae to tell him so. And then he uses it three more times to convince Izuku to come back with them and fight together, "because saving people is how we win."

To me, omae in this scene comes across with such softness. He's speaking with more humility than we've ever seen, both in what he's conveying and his word choice. (There is a whole other conversation to be had about Katsuki's word choice for "I'm sorry," but that is for a different time.)

This omae is not just a sign that he sees Izuku as his equal, it's expressing care for him. Katsuki sacrificed his life for Izuku, telling him, "Stop trying to win this on your own." He is trying so hard to make Izuku understand: Come back, I was wrong. Come back, I care about you.

Which brings us to the third time Katsuki uses omae: chapter 362.

That's right, the infamous "Can I still catch up to you?" / "Can I still reach you?" line uses omae.

Here's the thing that's unique about this omae: it's in Katsuki's head. This is internal monologue; he isn't talking out loud to Izuku, he isn't trying to convey something to him face-to-face, he is just thinking about Izuku.

The word choice isn't for anyone else's benefit or any external purpose: this is just how Katsuki sees him.

I can't overstate how soft, vulnerable, and sincere this moment is for Katsuki. And what gets me about him thinking of Izuku as omae is, it makes me wonder, "How long has he thought of Izuku this way?"

When did Izuku stop being temee in his head?

Changing how you address someone is a big deal in Japanese. Whether it's a name or suffix change (Deku -> Izuku) or a pronoun change (temee -> omae), it represents a significant shift in the emotional dynamics of a relationship.

It crops up a lot in media as a dramatic moment of intimacy, sometimes even being a part of love confessions. This heightened drama is exactly what we see with Katsuki's apology when he calls him Izuku.

Katsuki addresses only Izuku with his given name and omae, and in the whole run of the series, he only uses omae in a few select instances. I would argue that this is really important, subtle character writing.

Looking at the scenes, at least to me, each omae reads as progressively more honest and intimate. Each time Katsuki uses it, he is reaching for Izuku. Each time, it means more.

[sugar-grigri]

Sperm is the symbol of hope in pain, yes. Sit down, I'll explain.

Yes, even sperm has symbolism.

Although this title may sound catchy, I didn't phrase it that way to make it so, I really mean it. I'm just warning that some of my sentences are going to sound completely crazy. Let me begin. 

I've said it before, but when we have a tripartite chapter, the key to reading it is to link these three elements. What do kissing, love and sperm have to do with each other? The answer seems obvious, and refers back to the previous chapter. The link lies in the act committed in chapter 167. But I think it's more subtle and stronger than that. 

These three elements are impossible to deny. Just as Asa can't deny not loving Denji to Yoru, Yoru can't deny having kissed Denji twice, and wanting to kiss him again. Sperm carries the same message (crazy phrase). It is just as much a part of the realization of the previous elements, impossible to deny. It can be cleaned up, forgotten like kissing, denied like love, it is the concretization of the other two acts. 

Semen is perceived as negative, disgusting, sticky, as new feelings or an unexpected kiss can be. But above all it's a result that doesn't help either protagonist. 

Again it's crazy what I'm about to say. But just as the semen made Denji realize that Asa/Yoru wanted to kiss him, he hoped there was a feeling of love. Just as Asa and Yoru denied kissing and love for him, realized they had semen on their hands. I know it sounds weird when you say it like that, but it's not. Sexuality is a major theme in CSM. Just as its organic aspect carries a message. 

Sperm refers to the fact that Denji masturbates when he's unwell, just as he relies on the discovery of sex to be happy. The semen also reflects Asa's fear of intimacy. Just as it is a kind of victory for Yoru, who sexually assaulted them both. 

In short, the tripartite title basically refers to the feelings intertwined between these three pivots. And his order makes sense. It symbolizes the way Yoru interferes. 

Yoru kissed Denji for the first time at a time when Asa barely realized what she was feeling. It's vital to understand that, at this point, neither Yoru nor Asa were yet fully in love with Denji, since they hadn't yet developed feelings for CSM during the Falling Devil arc. 

The kiss came before the love. He was stolen. Whether it's because it's unexpected for Denji. And precipitous for Asa. 

Then there's the development of Asa's feelings, again leading to an appropriation of Yoru, committing a precipitous sexual act for both protagonists. 

But above all, the three elements were succinctly crossed out. The kiss had been temporarily forgotten by Yoru. The semen is washed away to forget the sexual assault. And Denji is denied love. 

Let me be very clear so that everyone understands. Love, kissing and semen are denied by Asa and happened in the wrong order for her.

Just as they are monopolized by Yoru.

Just as Denji places his hopes in them, and they are a logical consequence for him.

But it's not all doom and gloom. Because the name of the sushi restaurant is a coded message (another crazy phrase).

As I've said before, every element is a symbol. The fish are.

They hark back to the aquarium episode. As Asa despaired, Denji fed her fish and starfish, foods Asa disliked. Just as she was in despair and denied herself hope, fish is associated with regaining hope. Above all, the aquatic element is the antithesis of fire, represented by the fire demon who leads us to be what we desire, even if it means suffering for it. Fish is acceptance, fire disillusionment. 

It's not present in the English version and I don't know if it's translated from Japanese, but I hope so, but this chapter reinforces my interpretation: press the button to have hot water but but beware of burns. We have to relate the fish to understand the symbol of fire. Yes. 

So what does the restaurant's name mean? 

Two options. The key to facing death is hope. Or will the protagonists perish from hoping that happiness is within their reach ?

Actually I think it's deeper than that. I've been hoping for this for a few times now, so I'm going to try again. 

When Asa invited Denji, it was because she considered him less than a cat. Who else considered him less than a cat ?

When Asa was picky about food at the aquarium? Who else is? 

Who did Asa think of at the aquarium? 

For whom precisely does Denji not feel love in the sense that he feels it for Asa ? 

Remember when I said that the title refers to negation ? 

There's hope in death. 

When Denji says he wants to like sushi, symbolically it's to keep hope alive. 

But fish are a strong enough symbol to refer to someone whose name wasn't uttered once in part 2. Forgotten. 

Eating sushi will lead Denji to count on his family again. 

Like the hope of finding someone dear to him.

Love in horror.

Power.

But wait before you go. I lied, there's more despair than hope. You can't blame me, that's what Fujimoto does all the time.

What did Power do ? Die for love, right ? Hope, denial, love........

Power even died twice, didn't she? Cut in two, right?

I know Asa and Denji have already died, but they can die a second time, can't they ? But this time with two of them. Dying a second time together.

Do you miss the cursed number 2 ?

[ineffable-suffering]

Re: "You go too fast for me, Crowley", because I think I finally figured out the real meaning behind that line

Naturally, this line of all lines, the most line of them all, is constantly circling around my rotten brain like a moth around a flame.

In addition, though, there's always been another Good Omen's line/exchange that has kept bothering me again lately. And literally until just about five minutes ago, I had never thought of relating them back to each other.

Now, five minutes later, I have and I think I just ... figured it out.

In case you were wondering: The second line that wouldn't leave my head is what Aziraphale says to Crowley during their clandestine meeting at St. James' Park in 1862 when Crowley asks him for Holy Water:

A: "I'm not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley!"

And here's what bugs me about this: Why did Aziraphale, without a breath of hesitation, immediately assume Crowley wanted the Holy Water to commit suicide if things ever went wrong?

That's ... such a dark assumption to make. Especially because that is absolutely not what Crowley wanted it for, as he literally says himself:

C: "That's not what I want it for, just insurance."

And what does Aziraphale reply?

A: "I'm not an idiot, Crowley!"

Because he firmly, firmly believes that Crowley is asking him to bring him the Holy Water as a foolproof method of taking his own life in case Heaven and Hell ever find out about them.

To this day, that conversation gives me chills whenever I think about it. We so rarely get see what genuine emotions and thoughts for and about Crowley Aziraphale keeps neatly tucked away behind that tightly buttoned waistcoat of his. This moment in 1862 is one of the very rare ones where his façade slips a little – and the peak we get isn't a fun one. It's a very dark, scared and vulnerable one.

What am I on about and how does this all relate to the infamous "You go too fast for me, Crowley"-line? Let's look at it under the cut.

(Word count: 2560 | Reading time: ~10 min. | TW: mentions of suicide)

Like I mentioned up above, it always struck me to my core that Aziraphale very clearly immediately assumes Crowley wants the Holy Water for possible suicide. Not only is that a very dark and upsetting thought, it also poses the question: Why? Why is that the first place Aziraphale's mind goes to?

Crowley says at the very beginning of their conversation:

C: "We have a lot in common, you and me."

He's definitely referring to their (very mutual) relationship Arrangement and the fact that they both find themselves kept apart and watched by their respective head offices, not allowing them to ever misstep and give themselves away.

After bickering around a little like they do, Crowley asks his favour – and he makes it very clear in a quiet and serious voice that:

C: "This is something else. [...] For if it all goes wrong."

He's not just talking about Heaven or Hell finding out about some silly frivolous miracles, no. He's talking about them finding out about their Arrangement, their relationship. The worst of all worst case scenarios.

So bad, in fact, that he doesn't even ask his favour out loud but instead decided to write it down.

Aziraphale's reaction is ... severe.

We immediately see his face drop as, he too, realizes that this is all of a sudden a very serious conversation indeed. And he immediately and vigorously denies Crowley's request because he thinks it to be one for a suicide pill.

To understand how he could arrive at that lightning-quick (and also wrong) conclusion, we have to try and understand how Aziraphale sees Crowley and the threat that the angel himself as well as their relationship poses to Crowley.

Crowley can, at times, be a very self-deprecating and cynical character. He's without a doubt carrying a lot of trauma and unspoken fears and emotions with him at all times. Aziraphale at this point in their relationship probably has a good notion of what those are – but he doesn't know the whole depth of it because they've never been able to speak freely enough and Crowley has seemingly decided to keep many-a things to himself, still. They both tread the waters of plausible deniability very well.

So, to jump to the conclusion of Crowley entertaining suicidal thoughts in the face of unavoidable danger is ... quite a violent jump. And remember: "[...] underneath it all, Crowley was an optimist. If there was one rock-hard certainty that had sustained him through the bad times then it was utter surety that the universe would look after him."

So, what is it that Aziraphale does know that would drive him to such a drastic conclusion when, in reality, secret optimist Crowley only ever wanted the Holy Water to protect himself against Hell to come out safe on the other end of things?

2500 BC, Land of Uz: A: "That [going along with Heaven/Hell as far as you can] sounds, um ..." C: "Lonely? Yeah." A: "But you said it wasn‘t." C: "I‘m a demon. I lied."

After Crowley helps Aziraphale out in Edinburgh in 1827, Crowley is immediately sucked back down to Hell We don't know what exactly happened after that or just how long Crowley was gone. We also don't know if Crowley ever told Aziraphale what happened, once he returned. What we and Aziraphale do know, is that Crowley ends up asking him for Holy Water, out of the blue, only a couple of decades later.

1601, The Globe: A: "But if Hell finds out [about the Arrangement], they won't just be angry. They'll destroy you." (additionally, later in time, C: "My lot does not send rude notes.")

Ergo: It's very clear that Aziraphale seems to have put two and two together with his own angel math by what he has a) witnessed himself and b) what Crowley has said himself which equals: In going against Hell, Crowley has felt incredibly lonely before he had Aziraphale by his side and if Heaven and Hell were to ever find out about them, Hell's punishment would be a whole lot worse than Heaven's.

He thinks Hell would destroy Crowley.

So when Crowley, who so rarely says how he really feels and one of the few times he did, told Aziraphale he was lonely, says he wants the Holy Water, the immediate conclusion Aziraphale comes to is: He wants it as an emergency exit. In case things go pear-shaped. He wants it to escape whatever dreadful punishment Hell would have in stock for such a lonely traitor. He wants it as a suicide pill.

For Aziraphale to not even entertain the thought or believe that Crowley does indeed only want the Holy Water as a means of self-defense is, again, absolutely heartbreaking. Because it tells us a thing or two just how scared and desperate Aziraphale thinks Crowley to be. Something along the lines of: "If I myself am already so immensely terrified of Hell's punishment for Crowley, how terrified must Crowley be."

I think a whole lot of this is also very, very strong projection and shows us how Aziraphale himself feels about all of it. How scared he is for himself and Crowley. Of what would be done to them.

A: „Out of the question! Do you know what trouble I'd be in if they knew I‘d been ... fraternizing?“

He knows they would both suffer immense consequences and that Crowley‘s still would be worse. If anything, in a dark and twisted way, it shows that Aziraphale himself has definitely entertained the idea of suicide as a concept, at least. Maybe not for himself or Crowley, yet, but remember, he‘s awfully fond of Shakespeare‘s Hamlet.

A: „To be or not to be? Buck up, Hamlet!“

Yeah, buck up indeed. (By the way, there's a great meta by @greenthena on why Aziraphale likes Hamlet so much that kind of plays into my point a little. You can read it here).

And again, who knows what Aziraphale might have actually witnessed of Hell's cruel ways already in the past (Edinburgh of 1827, or at other times) that made him arrive at the conclusion that, ultimately, suicide would be the less painful choice for Crowley when faced with Hell's consequence for their relationship.

I told you this was gonna take a bit of a darker turn. So, here we are. At the turn. It doesn't get much lighter from here on out, I'm afraid.

Because all of this gives "You go too fast for me, Crowley" a whole new devastating meaning.

Personally, I always found it a teensy bit difficult to relate that line back to Aziraphale implying that Crowley was trying to push their relationship a little too fast for him.

Deducing that as the meaning of "You goo to fast for me" after we were shown in the montage of S1E3 that Aziraphale, from circa 1941 on, was undoubtedly fully aware of just how madly in love he was with Crowley, has always felt odd to me. And it continued to feel even odder after we got the whole story of 1941 in S2.

Because if that minisode showed us anything, it's that if you let Aziraphale take over the metaphorical wheel for about five minutes, "too fast" doesn't even match the astronomical speed with which he crashes head first into 15th base. Forget the hand holding and kissing, let's go straight to you shooting me on the first date I planned for us!

And they say romance is dead.

Now look, of course, Aziraphale is still keeping most of his romantic feelings and longing bottled up out of fear that Heaven and Hell could find out about them and have Crowley destroyed. We've established that this very big fear of his is the driving factor behind him never trying to overstep that invisible line.

But still, those feelings? They're there. Oh, Hell, they are t-h-e-r-e.

Our angel is a master of self-delusion but not even he is holy enough to deny the fact that, if he could, he'd want nothing more than to lock that demon down and elope together into their happily-ever-after.

So, when Aziraphale finally budges and hands over the Holy Water to Crowley in 1967, I've always had a hard time believing that that line coming from Mr. "I guess there's something to be said for shades of grey" himself actually meant: "I'm not ready yet, you want to go faster than I do."

Because really, apart from trying to convince Aziraphale of the Arrangement and rescuing him from every silly, coincidental predicament the angel has gotten himself into over the millennia, what exactly is it that Crowley did here to "go too fast"? Hell, he's been at it at the pace of a snail ever since, very well knowing that Aziraphale would take a lot of gentle nudging and lunch temptations invitations to agree with the Arrangement.

All Crowley does in that moment in the car is offer Aziraphale a lift, anywhere he wants to go. And yes, that is code their little dance, that is how he shows his love for Aziraphale. But Aziraphale has never before deemed that an issue or seen it as a too-fast progression of their relationship. He even suggests another date himself two seconds later, saying:

A: "Perhaps we could go for a picknick one day. Dine at the Ritz."

So, what, one sentence later he suddenly wants to hit the breaks again? After he literally looked like this the last time Crowley drove (literally way too fast) through burning London?

Nah, I'm not buying it.

Instead, here's what I think Aziraphale really means with this line that changed us all (and I'm sorry, but I'm about to one-up the sadness of the 1862 meeting):

I think Aziraphale is referring to what he thinks is the reason Crowley wants the Holy Water for.

Suicide.

And boy-fucking-howdy, does that change the game.

Because if we assume that Aziraphale, all throughout the one-century-long Holy Water standoff, thought Crowley wanted it as a quick, ahem, Escape From Everything, what I think Aziraphale really means with "You go too fast for me" is this:

To him, Crowley is asking the most cruel deed of him to bring him the one thing that could take Crowley away from Aziraphale for good. For ever. In case things go pear shaped. In case Hell finds out about them and comes after Crowley.

To Aziraphale, Crowley is asking him to load the bullet into his gun for the time it won't be a trick. So he can escape before Hell gets to him.

More devestatingly, I think Aziraphale even understands where that notion comes from. Aziraphale knows how dangerous their relationship is. And Hell does not send rude notes. So, I think after pondering on it for a good millennia, part of him has come to understand why Crowley would want an emergency exit.

Which is absolutely fucking heartbreaking.

Especially because that's not even what Crowley was thinking when he made his request. He truly only wanted it as a defense. But Aziraphale doesn't believe or fully realize that. Aziraphale believes the Holy Water is a suicide pill and to some extent even understands why Crowley might want that.

And yet, despite (wrongly, but well) understanding Crowley's intentions, Aziraphale is still deeply upset and terrified at the thought of Crowley taking his own life should they ever get caught. Which explains his extreme reaction all the way back at their clandestine meeting at St. James' Park.

Aziraphale assuming Crowley's way out of the most pear-shaped situation of them all would be suicide also means that Aziraphale would be the one who'd be ... well, left behind.

He recognises that choosing death over possible eternal punishment is maybe somewhat of an understandable choice. And yet, it's a choice that, to him, Crowley has made without him. Seemingly way before their first talk about it.

Aziraphale thinks Crowley seems to have made up his mind about his escape plan without him in it.

He thinks that if they were caught, Crowley would want some Holy Water around to quickly chug before he would be at Hell's mercy and that would be it.

Crowley would, for the first time ever, really leave. Not just for Alpha Centauri. But actually leave. Escape and run away to a point of no return. For good. Without Aziraphale. To a place where Aziraphale couldn't follow him, no matter how fast he tried to run himself.

It goes a little something like:

"If they found out about us, you would choose to go where I couldn't follow. And you're asking me to pave the road for you to walk there. Without me ever being able to get a say in walking alongside you. You want to go to places where I could never join you. You'd run away without me and I understand why but you didn't even give me a chance to catch up. You go too fast for me, Crowley."

F*ck, man. I think I need to lie down.

Y'know what else that gives new meaning to?

Alright, that's it, I'm out. Enough sad meta-ing for the day. See you all around once I've stopped slipping further into the void, folks. :')

[elysiansparadise]

I'm so exicited for everything you're doing, I love your blog! Any tips for my sun squaring his saturn?

Thank you love, that means a lot! 💞

How to deal with Sun-Saturn square in synastry?

This square is usually attributed to the feeling of not being able to express oneself with complete freedom in the relationship, feeling scared to open up either due to the fear of being judged or criticized [either due to internal or external situations in the relationship]. May feel this need not to disappoint the other and to constantly set high standards either to themselves or both.

As for practical approaches, I can mention the following:

🤍More acceptance and less criticism: This point applies both to how you treat the other and yourselves. It is important to keep in mind that you need to be yourself to be in a relationship, especially one in the long run. A relationship in which you constantly feel like you have to hide or limit yourself can become tiring for you, so if you have the fear of being judged or criticised, you need to communicate this with your partner. If this fear or insecurity comes from past experiences, share them.

🤍Show your support and encourage each other: Opening up to other people can be a difficult task for many, especially if they have had bad experiences in the past. As a couple, show the commitment and willingness you feel to be understanding and accepting with each other. Be patient, reassure the other that they can express themselves without fear of being judged, and make it clear that you can be vulnerable with the other. Verbal, physical reassurance or even through small actions such as putting aside the phone to pay attention when the other person is talking, asking questions to better understand can help improve trust. Don't rush each other and let things flow naturally.

🤍Do activities that the other likes: When you do this, you can see the other person in their element and appreciate how they act. In addition, you spend quality time together, which makes you get closer to the other emotionally. We express different sides of ourselves when we do something we are passionate about and we tend to be more uninhibited, so it can help a lot in dealing with this square. By showing interest in and in each other's interests, you can create feelings of gratefulness, appreciation, and affection.

Some aspects in astrology that can help with this are the following:

🩶Sun, Moon, Rising, Venus or a stellium falling in the other’s 5th house: When there is any of these, both can feel very drawn to the other, their individuality and simply the person they are. They can feel happy, delighted and intrigued by each other despite these differences that may exist. They may want to encourage the other person to be more genuine and confident, showing them that they don't have to be ashamed of the sides of their personality that cause them insecurity.

🩶Sun, Moon, Rising, Venus or a stellium falling in the other's 11th house: Similar to the previous point, they captivate each other, only being in this house both can be very different from the other. It will be precisely these differences that make them feel very attracted to the other person. They both encourage each other to be authentic and they freely teach each other what it is to be loved without conditions or expectations.

🩶Jupiter aspecting the Moon makes you both want to learn from each other on a deep level, ensuring you build a supportive and safe environment. Acceptance, affection, support and a lot of affection, they do not hesitate to reassure each other and they care a lot about intimacy as a couple to continue growing and having a positive and pleasant relationship for both. They are patient and understanding with each other which makes them feel that it is safe to open up.

🩶Neptune-Jupiter harmonious aspects make both natives awaken empathy, warmth and compassion in the other, making them feel that it is easier to be honest and emotional with the other. These aspects give a deep sense of strong and caring spiritual connection, which gives them comfort and even a sense of joy. There is that desire to know each other more on a deep level, from what makes them who they are to all the experiences that have impacted their lives, whether positive or negative. They will not make judgments or point fingers at the other, but rather they will prefer to put themselves in perspective to be able to understand better. Support, ability to connect positively with others and good wishes towards the other.

🩶When Venus is making aspects with Saturn, mutual attraction and the desire to care for each other are strengthened, making it easier to handle any type of challenges. Love and affection are present, and that makes both parties to solve problems with greater empathy and warmth. They both want to build a strong relationship which leads them to do everything necessary to make that possible, they strive to make the other feel loved and valued.

🩶North Node falling in the other's 1st, 5th or 11th house makes them a great support throughout the relationship for the other, especially in accepting themselves and motivating them to be more authentic and genuine. They can encourage others by appreciating them and helping them see the good sides of their personality. They teach the other to be themselves without fearing other people's opinions or criticism.

🩶Moon aspecting Sun or Rising makes you feel the trust of opening up to each other. They feel it is safe to talk about their emotions, express themselves and be vulnerable. These aspects speak to us of support, sympathy and a genuine desire to care for others, making them feel loved and taken into account, seen and heard. They are naturally delicate with each other and have the patience not to rush the other to open up. Receptive, supportive and very attentive.

🩶The harmonic aspects of either the Sun-Pluto or Moon-Pluto can be of great help in dealing with this square, because both can help each other break negative behaviour patterns and help the other when going through changes or while working. in themselves. They both give each other the strength and security to work on everything they need, help each other and guide each other towards a path of transformation and healing.

🩶Mercury aspecting Moon, Saturn or Pluto can help you have important, heavy or deep conversations more fluidly and easily. They awaken each other's trust and know that they can rely on the other, tell them about their most personal experiences, insecurities, issues or simply talk about their emotions. Sharing important things, looking for solutions and offering solutions is something that comes naturally to this couple.

🩶A trine, sextile or quintile/biquintile between Neptune-Venus not only make this relationship overflowing with love and romance, but there is also a supportive and adaptable quality to both. The other's flaws are not seen as something unattractive, nor do they place unattainable and demanding expectations on the other, rather they are able to love each other completely and show appreciation for each side of their partner.

[vimook]

"that's up to you."

this was a mahasamut episode and something that stuck with me is the fact that he is someone who seeks to be chosen and intentionally loved. as there is intention in everything he does and says. as well as in what he feels. that is his love language.

however, what solidifies it for me is just how tied it is to his wounded inner child. this is a boy who was faced, very early on, with the notion that home is the thing you walk away from and that it was what he had to do to survive.

mahasamut does not think highly of himself. confident as he can be, that is something that is made clear throughout the entire series, whether it's through the villagers who fawn him, the belittling of his education and upbringing or his keenness on being on a leash (and this isn't just a kink). the fact that dogs love you no matter how badly you treat them, they'll even die of a heartbreak when you die. there have been stories of dogs who have died in their person's grave or waited for them in the place they were abandoned, hoping they'd come back. so i have always seen mut's undying commitment to that part as the manifestation of being kicked to the curb and treated like a dog (which is already a phrase that implies a certain dehumanization that i fear he has internalized) by his father. in spite of that, he remained loyal, loving, considering, earnest, honest as both not to let others feel the way he felt but also so he isn't something to be thrown away. though even if you do, he'll be there, in your grave. and i guess that's the point.

his selflessness, as characteristic of him as it is, wasn't nurtured in a vacuum. it doesn't entirely stem from simple kindness either, but i gather from a need to be purposeful and useful. it comes down to having a sense of belonging as well, which particularly speaks to how he reacts to being included in rak's life and family. in his future. in the midst of uncertainty and the expectancy that at one point, he has to give himself deadlines for self-preservation because he is the sort of person who will lose themselves, trying to save you.

i often use the quote "the violence it took to become this gentle" because it did, in fact, take a lot of it and no one will really ever know just how much. how much he has seen, how much he suffered, how much he has done to himself. being in a small town is no small challenge, and for a long time, i kept thinking about how alone he must have felt. how determined he was in showing tongrak that his father was weak and mediocre. how people used to laugh at him. knowing that his father probably had a lot of friends and was known in the village and in a small town, that often means to overlook and handle certain situations and topics in a very narrow way. i don't think he ever had the chance to show how weak his own father was, so when he speaks for tongrak, for meena, for anyone, he's also talking to and for himself.

i previously commented that i would have liked to see mut's own processing of his feelings more because as resolved as he seems to be, he has a lot of piled up stuff in there and there's a mut who is insecure, who doesn't want to embarrass you, who questions whether what he can give is enough, who's sorry, who's angry, who's hurt, who can be "ugly" in how he feels. beyond the understanding, the patience, the care, the selflessness. regardless of those things even. there is nuance to being thick-skinned.

apologies don't stop you from internalizing any hurt. it's in character to have different sides to your own pain and feelings. just the fact that he proceeded to punch rak's father is an example, because apart from his need to protect other people, he was also hurt and reliving the disappointment of being cut loose. no matter how much you understand something and someone, it won't prevent you from feeling. that only tells me that there's so much more acknowledgement to be done for him as well.

so with the 10th episode, we have someone who is backed up against a wall and has to decide to care about his own well being for once and whether he's okay, tired, has reached a limit because he knows he can be disappointed, and we understand that through his conversation with mook. you can just tell this was a long process of rumination. what makes it even more curious is the fact that, even though he knew he could be rejected and had to accept it, we see his inner child resurfacing when it happens. the resignation, the anger, the apologies as he is the fool and has forced himself on to someone. what makes it harder, in my opinion, is the realization that you can be loved but somehow it's not enough for someone to stay. i feel like that moment when he realizes what the number 8 represented, what he represented caused such a visceral deepening of that wound, and made him once again face the question of why must he always leave his heart behind and why won't anyone hold on to it. he internalized that.

tongrak shifts that when he decides that home is the thing you run to and what really got me is the request that he tells mut how he feels to his face instead of an apology. tell me who is home. i need to hear it. who do you love this much?

you're here. i'm here. we're here. remind me of this fact for the rest of our lives.

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

How good would Absol be as a pet? Both Regular or service/working pet. The horn might be problematic at most I fear but I would like to know your opinion.

They may have a historically bad reputation, and some pretty intimidating claws, but at heart, absols are sweety-pies. They’re certainly shy, but they love helping people. An absol would make a great pet for a lot of owners, but not all.

The biggest issue with absols, it turns out, is their size. At almost four feet tall, they’re gonna be much too big for a lot of owners. Having spent time with some pretty big dogs in my life, I know that it can sometimes be difficult to make room for them, especially if they’re snuggly. Fans of bigger pets: an absol might be just right for you.

Tragically, absols have been treated with a lot of hostility and hatred by humans for many years (Platinum), and as a result they rarely show themselves to humans. Using the powerful horn on their heads, absols are capable of predicting natural disasters (Sapphire), and they, out of the kidneys of their hearts, constantly want to warn humans about them to protect them (Diamond/Pearl). In the past, this was misinterpreted as them causing natural disasters, earning them the moniker of “the disaster pokémon” (Ruby) and making them the target of violence (Platinum). When you consider all of this, it becomes clear that they would be excellent pets. If you were to win the trust and love of an absol, we know that they will care about you right back. They will want to protect you and everyone around by warning of disasters before they happen. Be warned, though: there’s still a lot of stigma surrounding absols. People of older generations still distrust and despise them, and may not understand you’re wanting to bring one into your home and neighborhood (Ultra Moon).

Perhaps surprisingly, given their reputation and appearance, absols aren’t exceptionally dangerous. Given their size and claws, moves like Night Slash raise an eyebrow, sure. Perish Song could make you faint, which anyone could tell you can be dangerous depending on the circumstances. Future Sight…well…it certainly looks painful. But, that all being said, absols are unlikely to use these moves on people. Even when faced with violence in the past, they chose to flee rather than fight. They have a calm disposition (Moon) and an affinity for humanity. Accidents still can happen, of course, so these moves still carry a penalty, but they’re less of a concern with absols than many dark-type pokémon.

While their size and abilities ensure that they would not be the best choice for every home, there are many cases in which an absol would make a great pet. As a final, interesting note: absols are said to have a lifespan of 100 years (Emerald)! This means that an absol will be a pet that you can bet on being around for a long time, and may even outlive you! Adopting an absol can be a big commitment, but it has a good chance of paying off in many years of loving companionship.

[rhaenin-time]

As much as I believe that questioning the parentage of a married woman's chiIdren feels like a witchhunt, I do think it's time we start an honest discussion about the Dance of the Dragons and the legitimacy of the contenders.

Because too often we forget that Alicent's bastards are just as ineligible for the throne as Rhaenyra's bastards.

By Andal convention, only Aegon the Younger and Viserys are eligible for inheritance. Even if Alicent's bastards wanted to push their claim through Daemon, their true father, they could never inherit over his trueborn sons.

In fact, her children are less eligible. At least Jace's claim comes through his mother! At least least Luke was promised to Rhaena and has Velaryon blood regardless. But Alicent, trying to put the bastards of a man who was disinherited on the throne ahead of the King's trueborn daughter? She's fortunate that Viserys was conflict averse enough to show let it pass and quietly keep Rhaenyra, his only trueborn child, as his heir.

🐲🐲🐲

🐲🐲🐲

Keep in mind that the question of Rhaenyra's sons' parentage was strongly dismissed by Septon Eustace. But at no point does any reliable source argue that the rumours regarding Alicent and Daemon are fabrication. Instead, we have only the far weaker defense that they're "unsupported."

🐲🐲🐲

🐲🐲🐲

Now, I think we can all agree that the most plausible explanation is that, once Alicent worried she might be pregnant by Daemon, she immediately seduced Viserys to cover the matter. Whether this happened before or after Aemma's death, and whether she turned out to be truly with child, is a matter of debate.

🐲🐲🐲

🐲🐲🐲

But even on the small chance Alicent did manage to bear a child of Viserys's blood, she should have known better than to put herself in situations where the question could even arise. And Daemon did not help matters with his public display of jealousy.

Because once the truth is out there, there is no way to "prove" that Alicent's children are not Daemon's bastards.

Not only do her children resemble him, but Daemon is a dragonrider. Which means geography is not an obstacle. All it takes is a few moonlight rides, and a quick trip through the secret tunnels, and you have another bastard sired with no one the wiser. And indeed, he did seem committed to secrecy, even taking precautions like distancing himself from Alicent and his bastards in every public setting.

🐲🐲🐲

🐲🐲🐲

The question of motive does remain. Was Daemon siring bastards out of true affection for Alicent? Or was it simply a mutually beneficial arrangement because they were both wed to spouses who could not give them heirs? Alicent feared being set aside, and Daemon feared dying without a legacy. And it is noteworthy that Alicent stopped bearing his bastards after he became free to wed Laena Velaryon.

Another interesting area of debate is, of course, Viserys's knowledge on the matter. Some might argue that he affected a willful blindness. But surely he would be understanding of Alicent's predicament if it was he who was no longer able to produce heirs. Indeed, the text does support the theory that he was aware.

🐲🐲🐲

🐲🐲🐲

Now, it's pretty clear that while Alicent was comfortable throwing stones from her glass house of bastards, Rhaenyra was not. Be it from feeling above the matter, respect for her father's wishes, or simply a lack of desire to see Daemon's bastards publicly shamed, she seems to have held her own tongue even when faced with Alicent's hypocrisy. Which I find admirable, if maybe a little unhelpful.

I suppose we can give Alicent a little credit. She did originally acknowledge her good fortune of her bastards all bearing a vague resemblance to Viserys. And it seems she even encouraged Rhaenyra and Laenor to hold onto hope that they might one day share that fortune. As long as they keep trying the way she did.

🐲🐲🐲

🐲🐲🐲

Or was it in fact, a brazen taunt? A flaunting of her privilege of having bastards that resembled their supposed father?

Regardless of the sentiment behind the comment, it does open up questions regarding whether she'd previously "tried" and "failed" only to end up with dark-haired babes she was forced to send away. After all, with Viserys in such poor health that surely his ability to sire heirs would be whispered about, it was essential they resemble him.

Another question worth pondering is Alicent's true feelings toward Daemon. Did she, perchance, ever entertain hopes of wedding him once Viserys had passed? Of him legitimizing her bastards for the Realm to hear?

But what would she gain? Well, potentially a lot.

What is not disputable is that once she'd given up hope of Viserys installing her bastard above his trueborn daughter, Alicent turned her hopes to usurping Rhaenyra based on her gender. But perhaps she worried that, should she cross that line, Rhaenyra would no longer turn the other cheek. She likely worried that Rhaenyra would point out the obvious fact that Alicent's bastards were ineligible for inheritance.

But Daemon wasn't.

Per the Council of 101, Daemon should have been heir over Rhaenyra. And it's not illogical to assume that Alicent might have nursed hopes of usurping Rhaenyra after Viserys's death (which she did do) and installing Daemon as King. A King whose wife had passed leaving him only daughters — therefore ineligible under the precedent they established. A King finally free to marry the mother of his bastards and name them bastards no more. To name them his heirs.

Unfortunately for Alicent, Daemon had moved on. And not only that, he appears to have set the example for Rhaegar by naming his son Aegon despite already having a son named Aegon! (History truly does repeat itelf!) A message to Alicent that he would never claim her bastards as his heirs.

🐲🐲🐲

🐲🐲🐲

Alicent might have thought she was clever in the moment — to select a man who resembled her husband. But it also works against her.

Because her children resemble Daemon. And not just in appearance.

Remember that, when Aenys proved to be a sickly boy despite being ostensibly sired by a man of Aegon's vigor, that was when his parentage was truly put to question?

🐲🐲🐲

🐲🐲🐲

But does the opposite not apply? Viserys was in poor health, yet Alicent's bastards did not seem to share those troubles.

Now, you can hardly fault Alicent for bearing healthy children. But that does not mean she couldn't have taken other steps to make her bastards' parentage less obvious. We can credit her with notably dressing them in green as children to avoid easy superficial comparisons, but it seems like her attention, or authority, on the matter lapsed as her bastards grew older.

Why was Aegon allowed to cavort in Fleabottom the way Daemon once had? Why was Aemond allowed to style his hair and clothes so that he resembled a young Prince Daemon? Alicent should have better stressed to them the importance of appearance — and masking appearance. Because she ended up letting her sons undo all her efforts.

Honestly, the more you think about it, the more undeniable it becomes. Undeniable because, I repeat, there is no way to prove otherwise.

Well, I think that's enough evidence for now. I honestly never thought it was worth dwelling on the matter. If Viserys knew, if he made arrangements to keep Alicent's bastards both safe and respected while preserving his line, it truly should not matter.

But the problem is that Alicent pushed too far. Not just by trying to seat her bastard on the throne — something that, unlike with Rhaenyra and Driftmark, she did not have the blessing of the Head of house for nor did she take steps to ensure the line remains intact — but by also then being brazen enough to point her finger at Rhaenyra, knowing Rhaenyra was above doing the same.

Well, I don't think that's fair. And I think it's time we acknowledged it, and put the 'bastard' talk to rest. Honestly, it often feels both disingenuous and steeped in misogyny. And in a world of fundamentally unjust systems, it's best to just accept that these matters should be kept quiet, and resolved within the family.

[canonizzyhours]

The thing that really upsets me about the canyon is - look, they're always claiming their opponents are committing the sin of Character Hate, right? Character Hate is supposedly always bad faith and always wrong. But the only takes on Izzy that they'll accept as not qualifying as "hate" are ones that require incredibly bad faith uncharitable interpretations of other characters.

Season 1 left a lot of stuff about Izzy open to interpretation. But one thing was clear: what Izzy said to Ed in the "namby-pamby" scene was not just cruel in the usual way it's cruel to tell someone who's heartbroken to just man up because he'd be better off dead than acting like this (which would be bad enough honestly), it was the absolute most hurtful thing Ed Teach specifically could hear at that moment because it was stabbing him directly in the core trauma he'd carried for his entire life. Ed's absolute worst fear in the whole world is that the violence he's capable of, as exemplified by having killed his dad, proves he is a monster instead of an actual human person capable of love or friendship. So Izzy tells him he's just embarrassing himself trying to reach out to others, says his real self is a violent monster, then goads him till he does something violent and says see, this is the real you. That's insanely targeted. If you sat down and tried to think of the single most most incredibly harmful and triggering thing you could say or do to Ed you couldn't have done any better.

So that means the viewer has two options for how to interpret Izzy:

1) Izzy does not really know Ed very well at all when you get down to it, despite how long they've worked together. He doesn't get what Ed's trauma is all about or how it affects him and the fact that what he said is Ed's absolute deepest fear is just a coincidence. So he truly does not understand just how hurtful he's being and would never have said that stuff if he'd known.

or

2) Izzy does understand Ed pretty accurately and therefore he is being incredibly viciously cruel on purpose by deliberately reinforcing his most painful and unhealthy beliefs about himself, knowing how it's going to affect him.

Those are the only two possibilities! You could have an Izzy whose relationship with Ed was close enough to deeply understand him, or you could have an Izzy who actually cared about Ed and didn't want to hurt him. But you could not have both. The closer you assumed Ed and Izzy were, and the more actual trust and intimacy and understanding you thought existed between them, then the crueler you had to assume Izzy was being.

But the canyon didn't want to accept that! They want to insist that Ed and Izzy had a really close relationship involving trust and intimacy and understanding AND that Izzy cares deeply about Ed's well-being and only ever wants to act in his best interests. So they found a third option, which was to just throw out Ed's entire character arc.

If you refused to believe Ed's arc was what it very obviously was, then you could deny that Izzy was actually being all that hurtful. You just deny that Ed's arc is about fearing the exact things Izzy told him were true about himself. Instead they said...well, a lot of them just didn't seem to really care that they didn't have a clear sense of what Ed's arc was at all, but those who did seem to care about Ed settled on: Ed's problem is that he actually DOES have something deeply wrong with him that makes him uncontrollably violent and he's simply trying to run away from that, which is unhealthy, so Izzy is looking out for him by trying to force him to confront these hard truths, which he needs to do before he can grow. But unfortunately Ed completely overreacted to Izzy's harsh truth-telling.

Now I mean think about the narrative this implies. This means OFMD is a romcom centered around the idea that the indigenous lead's deep seated belief that he's an uncontrollably violent monster is ACTUALLY TRUE and the white man who tells him so is just trying to help him. That would be a narrative that was (a) incredibly mean-spirited, (b) intensely racist, and (c) made no sense at all as a love story centered on this character. Which is how you should be able to tell it's an absurd read! And it's supposed to be the people who say "no, Ed's arc is what it looks like, which means Izzy either isn't especially close to him or is emotionally abusing him on purpose" who are spreading character hate.

This is why we're always pointing out that you have to understand Ed is a lead character and Izzy is a supporting one. I know the canyon thinks that's some sort of pedantry but it matters here, because if an interpretation you like because of what it does for a supporting character's arc comes at the cost of making the lead character's arc totally nonsensical, that's a pretty basic way you can tell it's reading against the text!

So now we're post season 2. And season 2 not only unsurprisingly followed up on the character arc Ed actually did have in season 1, but it managed to go with the canyon worst case scenario of repeatedly reinforcing that Izzy really does not understand Ed very well in many ways AND ALSO AT THE SAME TIME specifying in his final scene that Izzy DID understand JUST enough to realize the whole time that he was being terrible to Ed and did it anyway on purpose for years. Super embarrassing for those guys. I guess the massive tantrums they threw about season 2 aren't really a surprise.

#406.

[peppymintdreams]

What if Andrew and Isaac Never Broke up?

Here it is the twist that brung a question to my thoughts since it was revealed that andrew and isaac had dated yet broke up so 

What if Andrew and Isaac never broke up. Then what would be the fate of darling? I hope you enjoy it because it took me way too long having to think of a way to start and end it so enjoy! ^v^

Masterlist

Andrew sighed as he closed the file on his desk, the weight of the situation pressing down on him. He had read the submission multiple times, each pass stirring conflicting feelings. While he admired the student’s work ethic and attention to detail, the undertones of the submission were… more personal than professional.

Taking a deep breath, he dismissed his class for the day and waited. When he knew they'd be the last to leave the class, he found Darling staring up at him, a bit startled.

Andrew gave a tight but polite smile. “Oh, not you,” he replied, trying to ease into what was about to be a delicate conversation. “I need to speak with you for a few minutes. It’s about your recent submission.”

“Oh—Professor Marston,” they said, their voice wavering slightly. “I wasn’t expecting you. Is… is everything okay?”

Darling’s eyes widened slightly, and Andrew noticed their shoulders stiffen. Nervousness hung between them like a thick fog.Andrew motioned for them to sit. “It’s just a brief conversation,” he reassured, though his expression was serious.

Darling hesitated, lowering themselves into the chair opposite him, their mind swirling with doubt. They swallowed, trying to keep calm.

 Andrew turned toward Darling, noting how their eyes flickered with anticipation, even hope. He felt a pang of guilt but knew what needed to be said. He cleared his throat before continuing. “I’ll get straight to the point,” Andrew began, his voice softening slightly. 

“Your submission,” he began slowly, “was very well-done. Flattering, even. I can see the amount of effort you put into it.”

“… It was flattering, and I appreciate the sentiment behind it. Truly. But, it was also highly inappropriate.”

Darling looked down, cheeks burning with embarrassment. This was worse than they’d feared.

Andrew sighed, leaning forward slightly, folding his hands together. “Look, I want you to know that what you’ve written—it’s well thought out, and your admiration means something. I understand how easy it is to blur boundaries in an academic setting, especially when emotions are involved.” His tone was gentle, almost apologetic, but it carried the weight of authority.

“But...” Andrew’s gaze softened, and he spoke carefully, as though selecting each word with great care. “I’m in a relationship.”

Darling's head shot up, eyes wide. They hadn’t known.

“I appreciate that you see me in a certain light, and I’m flattered, really, but... my heart belongs to someone else. Has been for a long time.” A small smile tugged at the corner of Andrew’s lips, as if he was thinking of Isaac at that moment. His eyes seemed distant, caught between the present and a memory.

For Darling, the realization hit hard, like a curtain had been pulled back, revealing something they hadn’t been prepared to see.

“Isaac and I have been together for years, since university, actually. He’s been a constant in my life, even when work has been overwhelming or life unpredictable. He grounds me. Our relationship is something I cherish deeply.”

Darling’s heart sank further with each word. They wanted to speak, to apologize, but they could only sit there in silence as Andrew continued.

“I understand how easy it is to develop feelings in these dynamics,” Andrew went on, his tone remaining kind but firm. “But what you’ve suggested in your submission would cross ethical lines—both as a professor and as someone committed to another person.”

Darling bit their lip, feeling the weight of their actions fully settle on them. This was never how they had intended things to go.

Andrew gave them a small, almost sympathetic smile. “You’re a talented student, and I want to see you succeed. I’m not angry. Just… concerned. This could’ve easily turned into something that might have jeopardized not only my position, but your progress too. And that’s the last thing either of us want, right?”

Darling nodded numbly, feeling the crushing realization of their mistake.

“I have no doubt you’ll move forward from this and learn from it. And just for the record...” Andrew paused, looking them straight in the eye, his expression softening. “Admiration and respect don’t always have to lead to something more. Sometimes, the most important connections are the ones that remain professional.”

His words stung, but they carried a quiet wisdom, something that came not just from experience, but from someone who had navigated complex emotions before.

There was an awkward silence that followed, thick with unspoken emotions. Darling felt a pang of regret—not just for what they had written, but for the boundaries they had overstepped.

Andrew stood up, breaking the silence. “I’m not going to hold this against you. We all make mistakes. What matters is how we learn from them. Let’s leave this behind and focus on your work moving forward, okay?”

Darling swallowed the lump in their throat, managing a faint nod. “Okay. I’m... I’m sorry, Professor Marston.”

Andrew’s face softened further, and he offered them a small, kind smile. “It’s alright. You’re young, and these things happen. Just... take care of your heart, okay?”

Darling nodded, standing up shakily. As they gathered their things to leave, they couldn’t help but feel the lingering weight of the missed opportunity—not in romance, but in understanding who Andrew truly was beyond their own infatuation. They had admired him from afar, but the depth of his relationship with Isaac was something they hadn’t anticipated. It was a love that ran deep, one that left no room for anything else.

As they stepped out of the lecture hall, the door closing softly behind them, they realized that what they had written was not just inappropriate—it was misaligned with the reality they hadn’t seen. And now, they had no choice but to move on, leaving their feelings for Andrew in the past where they belonged.

As the door to the lecture hall clicked shut behind Darling, Andrew remained seated at his desk for a moment, staring at the now-closed file. He ran a hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. Conversations like this never got easier. He had always prided himself on maintaining professional boundaries, but sometimes, lines blurred without him even realizing it. He hadn’t seen this coming.

His thoughts drifted to Isaac. If Isaac knew about this, how would he feel? Not angry, Andrew assumed, but it would still weigh on him. Isaac was incredibly understanding, always had been, but Andrew hated the thought of anything—especially his work—causing tension in their relationship. He grabbed his phone from the desk and stared at Isaac's name in his contact list.

After a moment, Andrew put the phone back down. No, not now. He’d talk to Isaac about it later, but right now, Darling was what concerned him. He felt a sense of guilt, not because of the submission, but because of how easily admiration had morphed into something else. Maybe he should have been more aware of the dynamic, more perceptive to the signs. He had been so focused on nurturing his students' talents that he might have overlooked the emotional weight behind their actions.

He sighed, standing up and gathering his things for the day. The heavy silence in the room followed him as he left, and his mind remained clouded with the conversation, the student's nervous expression still vivid in his memory.

Meanwhile, Darling walked through the university halls, head down and heart heavy. They replayed the conversation in their mind, each word stinging more than the last. They had admired Professor Marston for so long—his intelligence, his kindness, the way he made them feel seen in a sea of other students. But admiration had turned into something more, something they hadn’t meant to cross the line into.

They knew now that they had misread the entire situation. In their mind, their feelings had been valid, but they had failed to see Andrew for who he truly was—a professional with his own life and commitments. They had let their emotions lead them to something inappropriate, something unfair to him and to themselves.

The thought of Isaac—someone they hadn’t even known existed until moments ago—left a bitter taste in their mouth. Andrew had spoken about him with such warmth, such love, and Darling had never heard him talk about anyone that way before. There was a part of them that ached knowing that Andrew's heart had already been claimed, and that there was no room for the kind of affection they had hoped for.

It wasn’t just the romantic rejection that stung. It was the realization that they had failed in keeping their own emotions in check. They had let admiration turn into something unprofessional, and that wasn’t who they wanted to be. The respect they had for Andrew had clouded their judgment, and now, the only thing they could do was to learn from it.

As Darling stepped outside into the crisp autumn air, they inhaled deeply, trying to clear their mind. They knew things would be awkward for a while. Every lecture with Andrew would feel different now. But they also understood that this moment wasn’t the end of the world. It was a learning experience—one that came with its fair share of discomfort and disappointment, but also a chance to grow.

And maybe, they thought, they could still admire Professor Marston—not as someone they had feelings for, but as someone who had helped guide them through a difficult moment in their academic journey. Maybe in time, they would come to appreciate the boundaries he had set, and the care he had shown in navigating such a delicate situation.

They walked toward the campus library, resolving to focus on their studies, on what really mattered. Because in the end, this wasn’t about Andrew Marston and their feelings for him—it was about their future, their growth, and learning how to navigate the complexities of professional relationships.

And while the sting of rejection would linger for a while, they knew that they would come out of this stronger, more self-aware.

Settling into a quiet corner of the library, they unpacked their bags, placing textbooks and notebooks in front of them. There were assignments they needed to review, papers that were half-finished, deadlines looming. It should have been enough to pull them away from the whirlpool of emotions they were drowning in.

But as they opened one of their binders to grab a sheet of paper, something else slipped out.

Love letters.

Dozens of them, tucked carefully away in the pockets of the binder. Each letter, neatly folded and written late at night, bore the weight of their unspoken feelings for Andrew. The sight of them was a gut punch, a reminder of the hours spent pouring their heart out for someone they now knew they could never have.

Darling stared at the letters, their chest tightening. How many sleepless nights had they spent crafting each word, choosing the perfect way to express their admiration? How many times had they imagined giving them to Andrew, picturing his reaction, the possibility of something more? And now, all those dreams seemed so far away—unrealistic, naive.

A tear slipped down their cheek as they gingerly unfolded one of the letters, running their fingers over the inked words. They didn’t need to read it to remember what they had written—the lines were etched into their memory, a bittersweet echo of feelings that had nowhere to go.

The weight of it all was unbearable.

With trembling hands, they closed the binder, placing it aside. It hurts too much to look at those letters right now. Instead, they grabbed a fresh sheet of paper, as if to rewrite their own story—a different story, one not bound by unreciprocated love.

They hesitated for a moment, then began to write. This time, it wasn’t a love letter to Andrew. It wasn’t for anyone but themselves.

Love, you’ve been a surprise, haven’t you?You’ve woven yourself into places I didn’t expect, tangled me up in dreams that weren’t mine to keep.

But you’ve taught me too.

You’ve taught me that sometimes, the heart leads you to places you’re not meant to stay.And that’s okay.

More tears fell, dampening the corners of the paper. But they didn’t stop writing.

There’s beauty in the unexpected, in the lessons we learn when things don’t go our way.

And maybe, love, you weren’t meant for me in the way I hoped.

But I’ll carry you anyway, as a reminder that some things are meant to be felt, but not kept.

Darling exhaled shakily, the catharsis of the words easing the ache in their chest. Their hearts still hurt, and it would for a while. But at least, with each word, they were reclaiming something—a bit of peace, a bit of understanding.

As they wiped away the last of their tears, they placed the poem in their binder alongside the letters, knowing that this too was part of their story. A chapter they had to live through to grow stronger, to move forward.

And for the first time since leaving Andrew’s office, they allowed themselves to breathe.

Back in his office, Andrew finally grabbed his phone and sent a brief message to Isaac:

“Hey, just finished with a long day. Looking forward to dinner tonight. Love you.”

As he pressed send, Andrew felt a sense of relief. He had done the right thing. And as he packed his things and prepared to head home, he looked forward to seeing Isaac, the man who had stood by him through so many challenges, and who reminded him why boundaries were so important.

[royboyfanpage]

Hi, I love your page! What are your thoughts on Roy and Connor's relationship?

Hi! Thank you so much, I'm glad you like my posts :) and thank you sososo much for this ask, I love Roy and Connor's relationship and I'm glad I have an opportunity to talk about them. Sorry it's taken me all day to answer, but here you go :)

Short answer? That's his little brother.

Long answer?

I know that "fanon Batfam is canon Arrowfam" is tired and overused, but I really do think that, especially with Roy and Connor, there is some truth to it. While they haven't had too many interactions in canon, there's still a clear arc their relationship takes which I really like.

I don't like Chuck Dixon's Green Arrow run, obviously he's a shitty person but also his writing just isn't for me, but one of the few parts of it I did enjoy was Connor's first meeting with Roy in Green Arrow (1988) #97, prior to Ollie's death. It first establishes one of the most present themes in their relationship, which is the differences in relation to Ollie, and the contrasting experiences of being their father's sons. Roy's the son who grew up with Ollie, he knows him personally, the good and the bad, but his status as Ollie's son is still constantly in question, you can see it back in Longbow Hunters, Ollie calls Roy his son but still denies that that word has meaning ("Roy's a hell of a kid, but he's not mine. Not really.") Whereas Connor, there's never been any doubt that he's Ollie's son, he's his flesh and blood, but he never knew Ollie until he was already in adulthood. He knows Oliver Queen through magazines, but not personally. That's why when Ollie storms off after finding out he's Connor's dad Connor's shocked, but Roy isn't surprised when he hears that from Connor. He knows Ollie, and he knows how his fears of commitment would make him act. While this is only a minor theme of those specific issues where they first met, Roy helping Connor understand what it means to be Oliver Queen's son is one of my favourite parts of their later interaction.

After Ollie's death, there is some tension between Roy and Connor, particularly around Connor joining the JLA in Ollie's place and becoming the new Green Arrow, first mentioned in Teen Titans (1996) #12-

-which is later expanded on in Arsenal #2.

This is really the first time we see Roy and Connor have a heart to heart, and it shows Roy's inferiority complex. Due to tumblr photo limit I can't show more pages for this, but I think the one I chose is the most poignant because, at least in my eyes, it shows the insecurities both of them have in terms of their relation to Ollie, and how each of them address that. Roy's loud, he'll openly speak his mind and say what he feels, and that's why it's primarily about him (that and that it's his mini and Connor's a guest). Roy openly admits feeling inferior to Connor in his position as Ollie's son, even after Ollie's death. Connor, he's quieter about it, and gets spoken over by Roy before he can actually talk about his feelings (which is a pretty consistent problem Connor faces where people expect him to listen but not talk). But you can still see it in his body language, the shadow over his face looking downwards, and while he isn't allowed to finish his sentence you can still tell what he's about to say, that Roy's more of Ollie's son than he is. They both know that the other hasn't actually done anything, but they're not to blame for each feeling their own individual emotions.

They also address the topic of legacy in relation to Ollie in #3, and how there's this unspoken standard to live up to that neither of them ever really can. Roy's Ollie's mentee, his protege, he should be Ollie's legacy, and yet he's not Green Arrow, he's not in the JLA, and he's still coming in second place. Whereas Connor, he is Green Arrow, he's Ollie's legacy, he's in the JLA, but he's a better martial artist than archer.

I wish they'd gotten more opportunities to interact while Ollie was dead because there was SO much potential for them during that period, but alas.

And now, I get to talk about one of my top five comics ever: Boys' Night Out, Green Arrow (2001) #32. Yeah, sure, the whole issue only happened because Ollie wanted Connor out of the house, but it's also the first comic to really explore the brotherly relationship between them, particularly in terms of Roy being older. Roy takes Connor bookshopping despite his own boredom-

-And then takes him to a strip club, where they have another heart to heart.

This page specifically is so important to me, because it's one of the few instances where Connor's actually being heard. Particularly in the 2000s but also in the 90s, a lot of Connor's character was defined by him being the voice of reason, the one who'll talk people down and listen to their problems, which ignores the fact that he's actually a pretty young guy, usually younger than the people he's helping (I suck with ages, I'm pretty sure he was 18 when he was first introduced which, by rough estimate using the Lian Method, would make him around 20-22 in the 2000s). I'm not saying that diminishes his emotional intelligence, he's clearly very emotionally intelligent, but it is a lot of pressure to put on someone that young to constantly be the one holding his family together. That's why I think this whole issue is so important for Connor, it's his chance to actually just be, and Roy's the best person for that. Despite what some fanon and canon characterisations suggest, Roy is absolutely not emotionally immature. Hell, you could make a pretty solid argument that part of the reason he took Connor to a strip club in the first place was to bring up the issue of Connor's sexuality. While asexuality wasn't as popularised as a term back then as it is today, the idea of Connor being queer was very present during Green Arrow (2001), albeit often used as a punchline, and while they're there Connor even gets referred to as a "friend of Madonna" by one of the workers. And while in Roy's head Connor was either gay or just had a low libido at that time, his "you're you and Ollie loves you" speech could very easily be interpreted as acceptance of his sexuality, even before Connor himself had figured it out. It acknowledges that, while Connor's good at helping other people work through their own problems, he's still a young person struggling with his identity, not understanding why he's so different to those around him, even his father. And Roy picks up on that, and tells him that it doesn't matter who or what he is, that what matters most is he's Connor, and him being Connor is enough to warrant love and support.

But Roy also doesn't treat Connor any differently to how he'd treat anyone else. When Connor says something Roy disagrees with, he calls him out

And I think Roy's treatment of Connor as an equal is very important. He doesn't depend on him or treat him like he's this pinnacle of wisdom, but he also doesn't coddle him and treat him like a baby. He calls his ass out, when he needs to! Roy's still a very loud and outspoken person, and he's not gonna change that because he and Connor had a heart to heart. I feel like a big problem with a lot of characters who enter into a family dynamic is that sometimes their writers change who they are at their core in order to have them fit into a specific role in the nuclear family, and while yeah, Roy's absolutely playing the role of an older brother in this issue, he's still Roy Harper, which I think is crucial. And conversely, Connor also calls Roy out when he does something he doesn't like!

I'm running low on the photo limit so apologies for the quality of this collage, and I couldn't fit it in frame but for context Roy just knocked out a robber who Connor was trying to talk down. Connor explains to Roy his reasonings, and Roy apologises! I think this also highlights the differences in terms of their characters. They're both very protective of their families, but Roy tends to act first whereas Connor thinks things through. Roy saw Connor with a gun pointed at him and immediately took action, which contrasts Connor's reaction when Roy gets shot in Outsiders #6

Connor's more of a rational thinker in times of crisis, and he tends to try and think things through and avoid rash decisions, whereas Roy's very much an immediate responder if his family's at stake.

And then it ends with them actually acknowledging each other as brothers!

The ending of Boys' Night Out is so important to me, honestly, and it demonstrates one of the most important features of their relationship- trying to figure out what brotherhood means. There's not a big hug at the end, there doesn't need to be. Just an acknowledgement that they're in each others lives, that they're brothers, and it doesn't matter what that means. It's cool. I adore this issue so much, I had to make like half the post about it because it's so good and it's such a good example of why filler issues are needed. Sure, Williamson's run has it's sweet moments, but an issue like this where two characters just get to interact in a low stake scenario will always be so much more impactful than one hug in a big event.

So, yeah, I think my short answer sums it up pretty well. They're the brothers ever.

[jjs-brainrot]

So I've finally read How Do We Relationship? by Tamifull

(spoilers for up to chapter 121 ahead)

What exactly is a relationship? Is it some natural part of the human experience where you pick a life partner? is it a social contract between individuals to ensure exclusive romantic and sexual feelings between each other? Is sex a requirement for a relationship? Is romance even?

I don't know to be honest. What I do know is this: How Do We Relationship? by Tamifull hit me like a truck and then backed up over the corpse.

It might be one of the most nuanced, unflinching and uncompromising works about understanding relationships I've read. I think, in general, a lot of romance fiction feels overly wishful. While I can certainly appreciate a good gushy and feel good romance, it kinda gets tiresome seeing the same "will they, won't they (they will eventually)" and "love at first sight (it works out even though they literally have no chemistry)" stories regurgitated over and over again.

So much of it just feels too fake for me. Like I'm not watching two characters come to understand and fall for each other, I'm watching two halves of a couple who only exist to be a couple. Chemistry? Completely optional! Hardships? Temporary and will only make them love each other more afterwards. Break ups? Reserved exclusively as a failure state or for purely abusive relationships…

What sets How Do We Relationship? apart from its peers is its commitment to understanding its characters as people rather than archetypes. People who each have their own wants, fears, feelings towards sex and romance and most importantly: their own personal definition of what a relationship should be. People who when confronted with each other think they understand how everything should go, only to find out that the other person has a completely different understanding that doesn't fully jive with theirs.

The only yuri series I can think of that does something similar is Yuri is My Job! by Miman. Yuri is My Job! focuses heavily on the idea of fake relationships in Class S stories with it frequently asking "what actually makes something a relationship?"

A lot of Yuri is My Job! is primarily a critique on Class S stories first (possibly also a direct refutation of Maria Watches Over Us… I still need to watch MariMite so I can't say for certain) with a lot of its characters being subversions of classic Class S archetypes. So a lot of its dissections of relationships are done in the context of Class S stories.

That being said, seeing a series directly refuting the idea of a relationship being static and instead coming to the conclusion that the only ones that can decide what a relationship is are the people involved? That stuck with me. How Do We Relationship? is far a more focused dissection of what it means to be in a relationship, or at least, what means for its particularly cast of characters.

Take, for instances, our two main characters: Miwa and Saeko

Miwa and Saeko start out as friends, but after coming out to each other and finding out they're both lesbians, they decide on a whim to date. At first glance, they seem like the perfect couple! After all, they bounce off of each other's personalities really well, enjoy each other's company (both out and about and in the bedroom) and in general seem to care for each other quite deeply. They were made for each other, right? Well, no.

They're both individuals with vastly different personalities, experiences and feelings from each other. Over time they begin to see things in their relationship that bother them. Mostly little things here and there. Nothing they want to start a fight over or strain their relationship over at first but… Small wounds still fester. It eventually finally comes to a head a little bit after Miwa visits her old crush in a high school reunion. It's very clear to both Saeko and Miwa that she hasn't actually gotten over her past feelings for her high school crush. What's more clear to Saeko is that Miwa doesn't feel the same level of love for her and she does for Miwa. Eventually they just… break up and go back to being friends.

In most romance stories, a break up is regularly seen as either the ultimate failure state for a relationship, a temporary set back for a relationship to overcome or purely as an escape valve from an abusive or just kind of shit relationship. The reality is that there many different reasons for a relationship to end.

Could Miwa and Saeko have worked it out? With the path they were heading down, no. Neither of them were willing to fully open up about their problems as both feared hurting the other. Which just ended up with them hurting each other even more. If they had continued the course, their break up might have been far more painful and resulted in them not being able to be friends any more.

And they do get to go back to being friends even after being exes!

I think back to my aunt who divorced her husband several decades ago. They ended their relationship but decided to remain close in part for their daughter's benefit. Over the years they've remained close friends and have gone back to living with each other as well. There's no hard rule that becoming exes means you have to fully cut each other off if that's not what you both want. Certainly there might still be mixed feelings between you both (Miwa and Saeko's relationship as friends certainly takes some huge bumps after they break up), but you shouldn't follow along with what society expects from you both in a relationship versus what you both want from YOUR relationship.

And that right there is Tamifull's thesis statement with How Do We Relationship?: don't determine how your life and relationships should be based on what society expects them to be.

Tamifull doesn't hold back anything when it comes to depicting how society treats relationships in general but also how it treats gay people in specific. While the physical danger of homophobia is always a constant that makes many queer people not want to be open with their queerness, being constantly other-ed in most social situations (whether intentionally or not) can frequently be reason enough to want to stay in the closet. Insensitive questions (that are more often born from ignorance rather than malice), being always seen as an outlier, frequently having to lie about who you like and a million other microaggressions that just build up as extra hardship in a queer relationships. Relationships are already not easy to keep together, but adding additional outside stressors can strain them even harder. Enter Shiho.

Shiho was Miwa's aforementioned high school crush whom she reconnected with during a high school reunion. After Miwa and Saeko's break up, Miwa started keeping up contact with her more and more and eventually has the opportunity to meet with her again. Miwa goes to meet with Shiho in order to confess her past feelings for her. Miwa is fully expecting to get turned down but when she meets Shiho, Shiho seems far more receptive and warm towards Miwa than she was expecting. Whatever mental protections Miwa had against the idea of actually having her feelings reciprocated crumbled as it seems like Shiho might have feelings for her as well? Could she actually get together with her old crush?

Unfortunately, while Shiho does have feelings for Miwa, she doesn't feel strong enough to deal with all the baggage that comes with being in a lesbian relationship with Miwa. She very clearly put a lot of thought into the subject, and while she does care for Miwa, she just can't put herself in a relationship with Miwa. Shiho isn't in the wrong about her own feelings and she doesn't invalidate Miwa's. But it still ends up breaking Miwa far more than if Shiho had out right rejected her.

External factors can have a major effect on relationships but internal factors have arguably far more impact on relationships. Namely: sex and romance. Or more specifically: how everyone has different levels of interest in sex and romance.

Figuring out that I was ace and aro took way longer than it probably should have. "I have no interest in having sex with someone but I still get off to porn so clearly I can't be ace!" was legitimately a thought that stopped me from fully embracing being ace for several years. Eventually I figured out that sex-repulsion isn't a requirement of being ace and that the ace spectrum covers a pretty wide variety of experiences under it and that my own is just as valid as the others.

Over the years I've had to engrave a pretty simple idea into my soul: there is no universal experience when it comes to sex and love. Regardless of whether you're allo, ace or aro, you'll have very different feelings towards sexual and romantic interest than everyone else. Let's take, for example, Rika.

Rika is one of the supporting straight characters of the cast. She's also arguably the most sexually active member of the main cast with easily the highest body count of them all. And yet she does not want a relationship past friends-with-benefits. I'm not sure if she's necessarily aro or just not currently interested in a romantic relationship, but the point is that the main thing she wants from her relationships is sex. And that is completely fine! It sucks that when she explains this to dudes she just fucked who want to start dating her that she only wanted a sexual relationship with them and they respond by thinking she must have some family issues that make her so sexually active (she doesn't) or they respond derogatorily that she's just a slut. That's just part of who she is, there is nothing wrong with her. If she was a guy, it wouldn't even raise an eyebrow.

And then on the flip side, you have Tamaki.

Some time after Miwa recovered from her heartbreak over Shiho (and after being sex friends with Saeko again for a bit), Miwa starts dating a year younger kouhai by the name of Tamaki. Tamaki is asexual/alloromantic, she very much has romantic feelings for Miwa and even enjoys kissing and looking at Miwa's body, but she has a very low sex drive. Miwa, on the other hand, has a pretty high sex drive. Tamaki and Miwa together might be one of the best depictions of an allosexual and asexual relationship I've ever seen.

I've know a number of aspecs who've gone through a similar situation as Miwa and Tamaki. Some are certainly able to come to an understanding with their allo partners about each other sexuality, personal boundaries and fulfilling each other's needs in a way that's healthy for both parties. But a lot end up in similar situations as Miwa and Tamaki.

Where in one or both partners feel like they're hurting each other. Some aces feel guilt over not being able to provide for their partner's sexual needs, even if their allo partner assures that them feeling comfortable is far more important to them. Some allos might feel like they're raping their ace partners when they have sex, even if their ace partner expressly gives consent because they want satisfy their partner's needs, even if they themselves don't get anything out of the experience. If you get both together, you end up with a feedback loop of self hatred where the ace person sees their own lack sexual interest as actively harming the person they love and the allo person sees themselves as a monster for wanting to have sex with the person they love.

It's a toxic situation to be in, but it's also one that's hard to leave as both parties feel they themselves are in the wrong and their solutions to correct their error (the allo refraining from asking for sex and the ace more freely offering up sex) just lead to the situation escalating to the point of serious damage to one or both parties.

And unfortunately, that seems to have happened to Miwa. As of writing this, we're at chapter 121 so we're still early on the current arc, but it's looking like Miwa breaking up with Tamaki has done a number on her sex drive. I'm no expert on fluctuations in sexual interest due to trauma, so I won't dive too deeply into this (especially since we're still so early in the new arc). However, associating your sex drive as something that's actively harming your partner to the point that you leave them even though you still love them? Yeah, that's going to cause some damage.

I could ramble on and on about other aspects and topics that How Do We Relationship? does so well (Yuria/Saeko insecurities and dependencies, Saeko/Miwa's brief stint as friends-with-benefits, etc), but I've already said far, far more then I was originally already planning to say. So I think I might have save them for some future posts if I remember them.

So to finally end this now very long essay, I return to my original question: "what exactly is a relationship?"

I don't know, I ain't a cop. Whatever you and your partner(s) say it is, is what it is. But watch out though!

[transunity]

The Transunitist Manifesto

(here is a link to where it is being hosted- it is also copy-pasted below for easier reading)

Introduction:

21st Century trans politics is in many ways different to 20th Century trans politics. Some of the problems facing trans people then are gone. Others remain. And yet others are entirely new, borne out of the political landscape which we walk today. This Manifesto is simultaneously a response to the world as it is today for trans people and a commitment to building better solidarity and unity amongst trans people of all kinds. It is an affirmation to love, respect and help others in our community whenever we can- and to be alert to each others needs and problems, so that no-one ever feels like they are on their own. This is Transunitist theory at its core: compassion, respect and solidarity above all else.

Why Transunitism?

Transunitism was coined in the early 2020s by myself and a few other trans and nonbinary acquaintances online. Collectively we noticed that 21st Century trans politics had become unstable and imbalanced, inadvertently feeding into the transphobia it was supposed to be guarding against. Transunitism could be considered a wave of transfeminism, in that it draws from the same roots as transfeminism (and thus feminism as a whole), but recognises that a shake-up of the current trans politics is needed to better serve the community as it stands today.

The name Transunitism was chosen for its immediate understandability. Simply, it describes the desire to explicitly strive for greater transgender unity against our common and uncommon oppressions. In the last few years, trans politics has seen a rise in toxicity and vitriol between different transgender groups. This has had a negative effect on overall trans solidarity and unity when fighting against transphobia. As a result, transunitism is needed to help repair those bonds and create lasting solidarity against transphobia in all its forms.

Transunity theory largely draws from transfeminism, however, transunity theory also has some key developments of its own. Transunitism utilises transfeminisms beliefs that everyone has the right to define their own identities and to expect society to respect them- especially without the fear of discrimination or violence (1). It also utilises the transfeminist idea that trans peoples relationships with oppression, privilege, patriarchy and feminism are complex and at their most basic interpretations, are rarely black and white or as clear cut as is often suggested (1). These principles have been a part of transfeminism since its inception, however, subsequent interpretations of transfeminism have neglected one or both of these principles, leading to the need for transunitist theory to develop.

Transfeminism originated as a movement mainly by and for trans women, but much like feminism as a whole, many others can find solace and support in it. However, one of the flaws in early transfeminist theory was the neglect of non trans women in transfeminism. This has since been recognised by many early writers of transfeminist theory, however, mainstream transfeminism continues to neglect or even deliberately deprioritise non trans womens issues in the movement. The initial error is understandable, but is by no means the way forward. Feminism (as arisen from cis gender dynamics) prioritises mainly cis womens issues due to the lack of support womens issues have compared to those of cisgender men. The error is that those cis gender dynamics are frequently applied to transgender politics, but such a thing is not possible to achieve and often leaves other equally marginalised people with little to no support from transfeminism. The truth is that transfeminism has its roots in the mainstream feminist movement, but has different dynamics to it and requires more nuance in its application. Often, the (incorrect) application of transfeminism has been to prioritise trans womens issues on the unfounded assumption that other kinds of trans people's issues (particularly trans mens) have more support. Clearly, this is not the case for the following reason: Namely, that patriarchy does not value trans men as men the same way it does cis men (nor would it value nonbinary people the same way), therefore non trans womens issues are not receiving support from the patriarchy and thus prioritising trans womens issues at the expense of other, struggling trans groups is in the long run, damaging for solidarity and detrimental to non trans women.

Transfeminism's Role:

Since transfeminism was coined in 2001, its usage has morphed and changed. At present, the dominant strand of transfeminism does not promote unity and solidarity. Instead, it has fallen into relying upon toxic and often separationist politics- a crude distortion of the founding ideas of transfeminism. Emi Koyama, author of The Transfeminist Manifesto, was explicit in transfeminisms inclusion of all trans people in its movement. She wrote that transfeminism began primarily for trans women and that "it is also open to other queers, intersex people, trans men, non-trans women, non-trans men and others" (2). Her initial publication of The Transfeminist Manifesto was in the year 2001. Two years later, she revisited it and added the following in the postscript of the 2003 edition "I take full blame for the fact that this manifesto is heavily focused on issues male-to-female transsexual people face, while neglecting unique struggles that female-to-male trans people and other transgender and genderqueer people face" (3). Numerous other transfeminist publications recognise the need for greater solidarity between all trans people and for transfeminism to be explicitly inclusive of all transgender and nonbinary people. Talia Bettcher explained in 2017 that "since trans men are also vulnerable to sexism, transphobia, and the interblending thereof, trans feminism would be ill-advised to exclude them from its purview" (4). Despite the academic push for greater inclusion and solidarity, socially these ideas have not manifested. And so transunitism was created to bring awareness to these ideas with clarity of intent and purpose.

Transunity Theory:

Transunitism is not solely created from transfeminist and feminist theory. It also draws upon ideas of stewardship towards fellow trans people that are based upon ecological and environmental concepts.

Transunitism was coined by myself and a small group of other trans people online, but what is known as the transunitism symbol is my creation. I took inspiration from ecological and environmental movements to create a metaphor to explain transunity theory. Hopefully, many readers will be familiar with the recycle symbol and a variation on the three Rs. The recycle symbol usually consists of three arrows in a triangle shape. Each arrow point melds into the point above it and so on. The symbol represents how steps taken to recycle refuse follow on from one another and are interconnected. Typically, the three Rs are reduce, reuse, recycle and all three are equally important steps one can take to help the environment. The three Rs can be reordered and the sentiment still makes sense. For transunitism, the concept is much the same- three elements of trans theory which interlock and intersect which must all be upheld, otherwise neglect is risked. Instead of the three Rs, transunitism considers the three Transphobias.

The Three Transphobias

The three transphobias (or types of transphobia) are the subdivisions that transphobia can be broken down into. Transphobia itself is an umbrella term and while it can be used universally on any kind of anti-trans discrimination, it is helpful to subdivide it further in some instances to describe the specific challenges each part of the trans community faces. Over recent years, there has been a movement to establish a term for the transphobia primarily experienced by trans men. This manifesto will use the most popular term, transandrophobia, to refer to the concept. The transphobia primarily experienced by trans women is known as transmisogyny, while the most popular term for the discrimination primarily experienced by nonbinary people is exorsexism. There exist less popular terms for these concepts, but these will be the three used in this manifesto. I also acknowledge that further groupings exist within the trans community which the terms trans women, men and nonbinary people do not adequately cover.

Transmisogyny is described variously as either the transphobia primarily experienced by trans women or as an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. The term transmisogyny itself is at a crossroads- it is used often to refer to the transphobia usually experienced by trans women, but it is also often used to refer to any intersection of transphobia and misogyny- this has proved to be problematic, especially when attempting to include non trans women's experiences in transfeminism. There are transfeminists who believe that only trans women, as women, can experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny. However, this is a flawed understanding of misogyny, since many non-women experience misogyny frequently (i.e. much homophobia directed at gay men is based in misogyny). Nevertheless, this has become the prevailing view in much of mainstream transfeminism. This is a problem, since transmisogyny as a concept could very much describe the experiences of trans men and nonbinary people as well as it does the experiences of trans women. However, it is my view that transmisogyny, at its crossroads, should take the path in which it simply describes the transphobia primarily experienced by trans women. This manifesto will use that definition henceforth.

Transandrophobia describes the transphobia primarily experienced by trans men. While trans men do experience an intersection of transphobia and misogyny, they also experience an intersection of transphobia and a hatred of men or masculinity. Arguably, much of what is called transmisogyny for the experiences of trans women is also partially an intersection of transphobia and a hatred of men or masculinity. The ideal word for the concept is sadly marred by disingenuous cis men, but to use 'misandry' here tentatively is not an endorsement of any kind of MRA-style politics, but a convenient shorthand for a kind of hatred of men or masculinity which has a significance in (and only in) the context of transphobia. As alluded to, the term transandrophobia is the most popular term presently for the transphobia primarily experienced by trans men. Earlier terms did include 'transmisandry', which, aside from one academic usage in the context of an intersection of transphobia and racism (5), has not enjoyed much usage due to knee-jerk rejection of the term's suffix. In short, 'misandry' in this solely trans context conveys the transphobia rooted in a hatred of men or masculinity.

Exorsexism describes the transphobia primarily experienced by nonbinary people, which, like transmisogyny and transandrophobia, can contain elements of misogyny, 'misandry' and discrimination based on existing outside of binary sex or gender (henceforth 'misandrogyny'). Like transandrophobia, other terms exist for exorsexism, such as ceterophobia or simply 'nonbinaryphobia'. The most high frequency term is exorsexism and this manifesto will use this term for clarity and consistency.

The three transphobias (as has been touched on somewhat already) intersect, interconnect and intermeld into each other, much like the 3 arrows in the recycle symbol. Hence, in the transunitist symbol, it is transmisogyny, transandrophobia and exorsexism feeding into each other. They are the 'arms' of transphobia. This metaphor comes with some important tenets to transunitism theory:

You cannot dismantle transphobia as a whole by only focusing on one arm of transphobia. E.g. eradicating transmisogyny, for instance, will not bring about the eradication of transandrophobia and exorsexism. Eradicating transmisogyny is a noble goal, but it can't be achieved in isolation. It is interconnected to other two transphobias. By working on eradicating them all, transphobia can truly be fought in all of its forms. Relating back to the recycle symbol, only doing one 'R' will technically help, however, it will have more impact if one strives to do all three. Just recycling is helpful, but reusing will extend the lives of items that would have only been recycled, and reducing your consumption altogether would prevent some waste altogether. The same is true of transphobia- all arms must be tackled to achieve greater trans liberation.

The three arms of transphobia are not exclusively experienced by their main target. E.g. Transandrophobia is the transphobia usually experienced by trans men, but a nonbinary person could be targeted with it for resembling a trans man. The same goes for anyone resembling a trans woman being targeted with transmisogyny (e.g. gender nonconforming cis men) or anyone who is perceived as nonbinary (exorsexism). When helpful terminology is gatekept because the victim of the bigotry doesn't belong to the main group targeted by it, nobody benefits. It is useful to defer to the main targets of a bigotry as authorities on it, but space must be held for all victims of bigotry. Not just some. E.g. Many Sikh men have reported being the victims of islamophobia because bigots had mistaken them for muslim men. While not the main targets, they are equally victims of islamophobia as the muslims who are targeted with it.

All trans groups experience a mixture of misogyny, 'misandry' and misandrogyny- the levels of which vary from group to group. Trans women may experience misogyny (such as unwanted sexualisation for being female and trans), however, they may often experience 'misandry' (such as the vitriol some transphobes espouse which accuses trans women of being 'violent males) and misandrogyny (such as transphobic rhetoric which centers around a trans person's appearance being androgynous and thus not easily sortable into male or female categories . This may result in slurs like 'heshe' being used). Trans men, on the other hand, may experience 'misandry' (such as accusations they are going to transition into -'violent men'), misogyny (such as insinuations trans men are being led astray and that they are incapable of thinking for themselves) and a similar kind of misandrogyny trans women may face. Nonbinary people may experience misandrogyny (such as being forcibly put into a male or female category against their wishes, especially in a medical setting), misogyny (such as rhetoric which claims being nonbinary is a social contagion amongst those assigned female at birth) or 'misandry' (such as rhetoric that claims those assigned male at birth who are nonbinary are identifying as such in order to be predatory). In short, every kind of trans person experiences a mix of misogyny, 'misandry' and misandrogyny. It differs from group to group as well as from person to person.

These tenets are foundational to transunitism. A synthesis of transunitism theory and transfeminism results in what the transunitism movement stands for.

It is my hope that through transunitism theory, we will create a trans community that includes all, aids all and fights for all.

Thank you for reading.

Luke, 01/01/2023

References:

Koyama, Emi. The Transfeminist Manifesto, 2001 & 2003 p. 2-4

Koyama, Emi. The Transfeminist Manifesto, 2001 & 2003 p. 1

Koyama, Emi. The Transfeminist Manifesto, 2001 & 2003 p. 10

Bettcher, Talia, Trans Feminism: Recent Philosophical Developments, 2017, p.2

Martino, Wayne, Omercajic, Kenan, A trans pedagogy of refusal: interrogating cisgenderism, the limits of antinormativity and trans necropolitics. Pedagogy, Culture & Society. 29, 2021, p.679

[antispopausandstuff]

y'know, despite the show's attempts at wishy-washiness or the 'both parties were wrong' trope with Catra and Adora, and the fandom clearly buying it, there was still an aspect that even the writers weren't entirely willing to overlook:

that Catra made her choice.

hell, in s5, Catra literally says:

"no, she doesn't. she chose her side, i chose mine. she means nothing to me."

many times throughout the series, the show reinstates that Catra made her choices to be a bad person, to hurt and kill people, to choose destruction over restoration, and taking away the other person's choice by domineering with her own.

people can pretend that it was Adora's fault ( whether solely or 'too' ) all they wish, but the show has direct texts that Catra chose her life to get worse and worse. that no one took that decision away from her, but that she took a moral decision Adora made as a personal slight against her for no reason other than because it wasn't what she envisioned for her own future.

not her and Adora's future. her future.

Catra has made it painfully clear that what Adora actually wants never mattered to her as much as taking over the Horde and demanding respect and power. though the show caters to her Mary Sue-ness a lot, Crimson Waste is a perfect example of her demands.

rather than empathizing and trying to understand the situations of those outlaws, bandits, and ex-soldiers, Catra instead domineers by claiming that her life was so much more difficult than those who literally have to steal and fight, likely kill, to survive every single day, be adult, teen, or child.

rather than of forming compassion and respect to those around her, Catra instead mocks and patronizes people who are almost exactly like her ( Tongue Lasher ) or puts fear in them to force respect. she becomes not only like Shadow Weaver, but like Hordak as well.

the show continues showing case after case after case of Catra asserting herself in making the morally corrupt choices of supporting the source of war, committing universal genocide, committing the death of a monarch, stealing towns and civilians, all because of one person not doing exactly what she wanted.

so many stans believe that she wasn't in her best state of mind to actually make these decisions, but even if she wasn't, Catra still has literal blood on her hands, has put fear into so many people, destroyed countless lives through the crimes of war, and completely shattered Adora's concept of self through acts of severe physical, emotional, mental, and psychological abuse.

taking away her autonomy ( which is exactly what the fandom at large is doing by saying she didn't actually choose anything ) doesn't take away the fact that she is a war criminal. a remorseless war criminal.

there's only so much intention ( whether or not it's there ) can make up for. and there's no intention in the entire goddamn universe that can make up for what Catra did.

[soupthatistohot]

Soukoku is a bit fucked up... but that's why they work

Dazai and Chuuya do not have a normal relationship, however you want to define that (platonic or romantic). Without the context of their backgrounds, it reads as like... really fucked up. And that's true, to an extent, but to eliminate their circumstances is to do them a great disservice, in my opinion

First of all, I'd like to acknowledge that I'm fully cognisant of the fact that skk were not written to be a romantic pairing— Asagiri simply does not intend for them to be perceived as such. That being said, this does not mean that audience interpretations of a media are invalid. I ship skk, and as such this analysis may include my romantic interpretations of them as a pair and i acknowledge this bias at the same time that I acknowledge the validity of my interpretation.

Let's look at Chuuya's background first. He has little to no memory of his life prior to 7 years old, when he was separated from his family and treated as a government experiment. After his escape, he was an orphan on the streets taken in by a group of fellow orphans. He quickly rose to be the leader and protector of this group, who would eventually literally stab him in the back when he was manipulated into working with and eventually joining the Port Mafia. He spent his teen years with a suicidal maniac as a partner, watched countless friends and a clone of himself die, and found out a literal god was living in him, forcing him to question his humanity.

Dazai's past is much less clear. We don't know what his family was like, but we know that Mori recruited him after discovering him after a suicide attempt and began grooming him as the Demon Prodigy. He was forced to be an accomplice to a murder, and was constantly manipulated by and possibly physically abused by Mori. He was known for his coldness and was feared by many as a monster for the majority of his teenage years, and was expected to eventually become the boss of the Port Mafia through assassinating Mori, which the latter was paranoid about. Finally, one of his best friends betrayed him and the other died in his arms when he was eighteen years old, something plotted out by Mori, which resulted in his defection from the organization.

As teens, skk had a weird relationship (and that's putting it lightly). There was a certain level of contempt they held for one another. Chuuya resented Dazai's pessimism and lack of regard for others, and Dazai resented Chuuya's emotional and aggressive nature. Yet, they both had a deep understanding of one another that no one else really seemed to have at the time. They recognized one another as human when the individual himself did not. They had full faith and trust in each other, not allowing each other to die despite their disdain. It was complicated, and it wasn't quite healthy... but it was pretty damn good considering they were traumatized children in the Port Mafia.

There's a certain level of abusive behavior between them as teens, and I won't ignore that. Dazai played a large part in manipulating Chuuya into entering the mafia, and Chuuya insulted Dazai's suicidal and depressive nature a lot. Dazai found pleasure in causing Chuuya pain, both physically and emotionally. Chuuya literally has a list of torture techniques to use against Dazai. This is why I often stray from portraying an established romantic relationship at this point in their lives. I don't think they understood who they were fully yet, and sometimes projected their issues onto each other. Even if they were in love at that time, neither of them would have been ready for that type of commitment. I also just think they were too emotionally constipated to get to that point, anyway.

Something that I do love about their relationship as teens, though, is how they let each other be kids. Their bickering and arguments were childish and dumb, but that's the closest thing they had at the time to being normal teenagers. Amongst all the doom and gloom that surrounded them in the mafia, they knew that they could always go to each other and have a mindless argument or competition. In a way, this is how they reclaimed their stolen childhoods.

We see this when they're adults, too. In their first encounter in four years they tease each other about the same things as before, slipping right back into their childish banter. It's silly and immature, but that's how they operate. They allow each other to have that, and I really love this aspect of their relationship.

I think there's something to be said for how their time apart was good for them. Dazai is most clearly in a better place than before. Sure, he's masking a lot of the time, and he's still clearly suicidal, but I think the work he does with the agency is more fulfilling than at the mafia. He has more of a purpose, even if it's just to stay true to his promise to Oda (though I do believe it's more than that now). At his core, he's still a suicidal pessimist who finds humanity utterly disgusting and doesn't quite consider himself to be human, but I think there's a level of contentment of what he's doing with his life.

It's less obvious how Chuuya has changed, but I think that he has. He exhibits more self-confidence and maturity than in his teen years. He's more capable and well-rounded as an executive, and it's a personal headcanon of mine that in Dazai's absence, he was forced to pick up some of his skills of perceptibility and deduction. I think he is in a better place than before, as well, especially because he was able to establish himself independent of Double Black. He has also settled within Port Mafia, recognizing them as his family, which means he, too, is likely more content.

So as adults, they display less of the abusive behaviors than they did previously. Of course, there's still a certain level to which they're abnormal. Their jokes and quips about one another are sometimes quite dark, and there's a certain level to which Dazai still exhibits power over him when it comes to deciding to use Corruption. But that trust is still there, despite their time apart, and so too is that understanding of each other. They're not perfect by any means, but given their traumatic upbringings... they're kind of perfect for each other.

There is the fact that they want to kill each other. I'll admit that I struggle to explain this aspect, but I'll try my best, because I think it's not as bad as it sounds. I just think it makes sense for them. They're both sorta unkillable, so this aspect of their rivalry denotes a certain respect for each other. It's also a matter of likely knowing that they actually won't ever kill each other (and no, this isn't me being in denial about ch. 101, I fully believe that Chuuya is not dead, there is no way he's going out like that). This is one of the more complex aspects of their relationship, but when you add it to everything else we know about them, it just sorta works. I mean... thinking of ways to kill your partner for 7 years? That's kinda gay.

At the end of the day, skk keep each other in check and allow each other to have fun. They trust, know and respect each other, and though they claim to hate each other, I really don't think this is true. It's much more than that. They're rivals, they're partners, they're soulmates! And honestly, that's what makes them so goddamn interesting.

[utilitycaster]

I haven't seen WBN, so I can't comment on the comparison, but on the subject of Liliana, one of my favorite parts of last night was how Matt anwsered Fearne's question about how Liliana got involved with Ludinus. The whole scene with Liliana was stellar, but that answer made it so clear that is she is in a cult. The way Ludinus found her while she was unsure and looking for answers, mentored her, and showed her the "truth" about Predathos is a classic cult recruitment story. And her reasonings for staying in the cult after having recognizing some of its faults also rang true. She needs to "protect the children", the methods are wrong but the "truth" at the heart of their mission is right, the us vs. them mentality and fear of the exandrian authorities, etc. And I can see how that can make her sympathetic. She was taken in and conditioned by a charismatic, powerful leader. But Matt and the others have also made it clear, including in that scene, that she is complicit, and that the pcs at least recognize that her guilt does not absolve her. The members of the Manson Family who committed the Tate Murders may have been indoctrinated by Charles Manson, but they still killed 5 people in an incredibly grusome manner. The fact that they were following orders doesn't absolve them of their crime. And historically, cult leadership (which Liliana seems to be) who attempt to "fix" a cult either don't make any meanful change, or actually make it worse. I, at least, am very curious to see what will have happened in that regard when she next shows up. In short, people need to learn about nuance, and maybe sociology, and the Liliana scene was fantastic.

Hello anon. Are you spying on my Discord messages. This is not an accusation but I literally brought up the Manson Family there in discussion of how a lot of the WBN fandom in that like, people see wizards of the citadel (rightfully) as The War-Mongering Establishment, but forget that actually, there exist plenty of counterculture groups that also suck and just bc the US Government does horrible things doesn't mean the Manson Family doesn't. What if the Citadel AND a lot of Witches fucking sucked.*

To get back to Critical Role though, YEAH the Vanguard has been hitting every single aspect of a cult, and look. I get that the best way to get people irl out of a cult is to just be present for them when they decide to leave and not cut them off (the same is true for how to help people in abusive relationships) but also once they start murdering I feel that is no longer the move. The Liliana scene made me deeply uncomfortable and unsettled in the best way, namely, I knew they were talking to a cult member who is in too deep for them to get her out right now, and who has done terrible things to innocent people in service to that cult. Which brings me back to the first paragraph: a very true twist on "what if both sides of a conflict sucked" is "what if the victim of a system can still perpetuate the harm of a system onto others". (Also, if we want to throw Midst into the list of things where people have no-nuance no-sociology takes, and talk more about Steel? "what if someone with power within a system can still be a victim thereof."

Like, that is a really consistent set of issues in media analysis, actually. There's a lot of "this is the good side, and this is the bad side," and "this is a victim, and this is a perpetrator" and no understanding of "both sides are bad (or even complicated)" and "wow it's almost like the way systems and especially cults keep running is because everyone except the very top is to an extent a victim, but also everyone is a perpetrator." Very few people are unfettered evildoers doing it just for kicks. You can have sympathy for Liliana and also acknowledge that it's pretty valid for Orym to have no room for that sympathy. Traumatized and manipulated people can still be shitty people.

*I'm neutral-to-faint-positive on Suvi/Ame as a ship but actually "wow both our establishments really suck, how can we make something better together" is a great basis for a ship and "oh my god no witches are perfect and right and wizards are Bad and Wrong you're so correct about everything" is a dogshit basis for a ship which I think is worth highlighting given that we are in fandom spaces here although I may come to regret this when I'm sober.