#marvel did you so dirty

[monsieuroverlord]

EVERYONE LOOK WHAT CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY!

Art page from X-Force #47

Illustrated by Daniel Picciotto

AND he was kind enough to also include a free sketch! (All mine Mwahahahaha)

Now I just need to find a proper frame...

[cult-of-dollbabies]

I do not understand the hype around that deadpool & wolverine movie. Love the characters, but come on.. movie was not that great. Let's be real

[ffverr]

favorite storm ships: GO!

Very crack answer of me but yeah.....Marvel, let her be with her edgy short dark haired girlies!

As for Forge I have extremely conflicting feelings that I'll let marinate until I'm deep into reading the 90s

[pinktwingirl]

So it looks like the fake Verity Willis is gonna be in Deadpool and Wolverine…

Aaaand any slight interest I might’ve had in seeing this movie is automatically gone.

[aceofspaces16]

So I’m watching secret invasion and I’m liking it so far but I’m really don’t like marvel just killing characters now like agent hill was just fridging at this point but now talos like just let some character’s have a character arc i understand trying to add some tension but it’s just too much at this point.

I don’t really have much criticism for the show with what marvel has been doing with its recent show it’s a nice change but it very different so i understand that it’s not for everyone, idk I just wanted to put my thoughts out there

I like the whole vibe of a dude vs the world but if marvel is going to keep killing characters it’s going to turn me off it which I don’t want cause I genuinely like the show

[sycophantastic]

I will never ever ever ever understand how this can be viewed as a happy ending. An ending of noble sacrifice, indicative of immense personal growth, yes, but not an ending of happiness.

He's in solitary confinement for eternity. His deepest, darkest, most existentially horrifying fear. Being alone. And he's stuck in it.

FOR ALL TIME ALWAYS

idk man, screams "tragic" to me

(but what do i know, everyone else seems to love it, so like fuck this loki in particular i guess, hooray, well done, 10/10 would permanently isolate this beloved character again)

I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose. LOKI — 02x06 “Glorious Purpose”

[amplexadversary]

I fucking hate what the race to the bottom has done to the "official" translations of more than one fucking manga now.

Fucking Kodansha started translating Witch Hat, so the scanlators stopped doing so, but the official version is so fucking lazy.

They aren't even checking if the romanizations of character names read as intended in the target language, let alone fitting the translated vocabulary to the context! You need people on your team that can read intent from the Japanese text AND the English one, because the latter is going to need proofreading! Getting the vibe of the text right of the original version gains nothing if you don't also have someone who can replicate it in the target language! If that someone's the same person that's great but you very much have to have both skillsets on your translation team!!!!

It's perfectly possible to preserve the meaning and style of the original, even to the point where from sentence structure that gets rearranged to preserve a reveal or a metaphor is introduced to the new audience for the first time WITHOUT the text feeling janky in the target language! I've seen it! It used to be the norm before the race to the bottom trend in business got so universal since the mid to late tens! Stop being lazy and give your fucking translators the time and pay to do a good fucking job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still haven't forgiven what this trend did to Dungeon Meshi and I don't think that grudge is ever going to go away. You could have called it "Dungeon Food," or "Cooking in the Dungeon" and kept the bluntness of the original. You could have spun it up fancily as a kind of title familiar to the audience, and called it "The Chef's Guide to Dungeoneering" or "The Survivalist's Guide to Dungeon Food," or even "Man Versus Dungeon," in a play on Man v Wild. You could have straight up kept the Japanese title and either explained in a translator's note or added a subtitle that repeats the concept in English. Even "Delicious in the Dungeon," while still awkward as all SHIT, still scans as a sentence that makes sense! Why did you go with your actual fucking decision???!?!?!??!!? How hard is "Dungeon Meshi: A Practical Guide to Cooking Monsters?" That took me less than a minute!

If it's worth doing at all in an official capacity, it's worth doing it properly and leveraging your fucking corporate-scale resources to do a better job! Taking advantage of the unspoken agreement that scanlators have to yield to an official translation only to basically undercut them and do a worse job is scummy as all hell! Just fucking pick one of the major scanlator teams and hire them if you're going to cut corners!

Stop lowering the standards of quality stop lowering the standards of quality stop it stop it stop it STOP IT STOP IT!

Like, there's room to argue whether a more literal or more tone-tailored or even a highly creative Ace Attorney-Style translation is most appropriate for a particular work but at least PICK ONE and put in the effort to do that style translation as well as possible! And by ''put in the effort" I mean pay your fucking translators enough that they can take the time to do it right!!!

[ashlynlovestlou]

winner winner (ellabs x reader)

꩜ synopsis: abby and ellie challenge each other to see who can make you squirt first.

꩜ cw: SQUIRTING!!!! , overstim , threesome , smut with absolutely no plot , dirty talk , pet names , spanking , poosay slapping , dom! abby , dom! ellie , sub! reader , tummy buldge , mention of masturbation , this is kinda short i'm sorry

masterlist

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜

the three of you had been at this for fifteen minutes already. it happened when you mentioned to them that you'd never squirted before. of course, being the two numbskulls that they are, they took that as a challenge.

so now you were laying on your back in bed, abby between your legs and ellie at your side.

ellie was holding your hand, rubbing your knuckles with one hand and rubbing your clit with her other. abby, of course, was wearing her biggest, longest strap she has, and she's pounding into you while she cradled your head.

pathetic little whimpers we're escaping your lips with each thrust, but all you could do was take it.

"shhh... sh sh sh." ellie coos, "come on baby, you can take more."

abby is too focused to speak, hitting that spot inside of you repeatedly. your insides were probably bruised now, and she could feel you clenching around her.

"she's gettin' tight, ellie." abby says. ellie snickers, pressing down and pinching your clit. you moan and your back arches off the bed.

you flail your legs, trying to close them in retaliation, but abby keeps them open. "uh-uh. keep 'em wide and spread for me, sweet girl. you close, huh? yeah, i can feel ya." her words send you over the edge and you're coming for the third time tonight. your entire body convulses with pleasure, and both girls marvel at the way your face contorts.

"no way in hell i'm letting you win." ellie mutters to abby under her breath, shooing her away from you once your high is over.

she gives your cunt a few firm slaps before impaling you with her silicon dick. she bottoms out in one go, the tip of her dick kissing your cervix sloppily. hers is much longer than abby's, making a little bump in your lower tummy.

"s' too big." you whine when ellie's hand meets your stomach, pressing down on the little bump she made.

"you've got it, sweet girl. come on, baby, come on." she whispers in your ear.

abby chuckles as she watches this all unfold. she let ellie go first to get you nice and stimulated, in hopes that she could be the one to make you squirt. but the way that ellie was slamming roughly into you made her believe that that wasn't going to happen.

"hurts." you groan, eyes closing.

"keep your eyes open. watch ellie fuck you." abby commands, so naturally you listen. you open your eyes to watch her slip in and out of you. your thighs were covered in slick, and your next orgasm was coming.

ellie's pants and heavy breaths only turned you on more, and it was getting harder to sit still. ellie had a shit-eating grin on her face, knowing what was about to happen.

"scream my name, honey. come on, let me hear you." she coaxes, and you gush at her words, doing exactly that. you yelled her name, in contrast to the little whimpers and quiet whines you were eliciting earlier. you'd never felt more euphoric in your entire life. sure, you'd come on your own hands, their hands, their straps, and even their mouths several times. but nothing compared to the tingles you felt on every inch of your body.

the sheets were wet.

ellie entire lower half was wet.

you were wet, laying in a puddle of your own substances.

ellie laughs and cheers, "you fucking squirted!"

abby groans in defeat after seeing the utter mess you made. her eyebrows were squeezed together, her bulky hand in a tense fist. she shook her head silently, as if contemplating punching ellie in the jaw.

but ellie was too busy celebrating to notice, "fuck yeah! i did it!" she says, pecking you in every little crease and corner her lips can reach.

you were too fucked-out to comment on her celebrating, or abby's defeat, for that matter.

"how d'you feel, sweet pea?" abby is first to check on you after ellie disappears to go fetch some towels.

"fucking amazing." you mumble, nestling comfortably into the crease between her shoulder and neck, "never knew it could feel like that."

she chuckles, kissing your hairline, "there's plenty more where that came from. next time, i'll be the one to make you squeal like that, hm?"

you laugh quietly at her words, nodding.

[rafesangelita]

[🍩] soft!dom!rafe x breeding kink x corruption kink😜😜 with hella dirty talk😫

warnings: bambi!reader, innocent!reader, established relationship, making out, heavy petting, pussy slapping, oral (f. receiving), rafe is messyyyyy lol, unprotected sex, rough sex, crying, blood (very little, it’s from a bite lol), breeding, multiple orgasms, rafe slaps you just once, corruption kink, lots of dirty talk, first time, loss of virginity, fingering, finger sucking, hair pulling, slapping, soft aftercare, brief mentions of having kids

a/n: i think i got really carried away with this but breeding kink with bambi was something i wanted to write but was unsure of how to start it lol so thank you so much for this request!

rafe was in heaven right now and he wasn’t even inside of you yet. he kissed you gently, the feeling of your fingers stroking his face while he caged you between his arms was everything he didn’t know he needed. “you show up in this pretty little dress of yours, did you have this planned?” you gasped when you felt his hand snake under the soft material of your dress, his touch skimming over the waistband of your underwear. “no. ‘just wanted to look pretty for you..” you whispered, those doe eyes of yours beaming up at the man on top of you. “you do. you look perfect.” rafe sighed.

slipping his tongue in your mouth, your eyebrows drew together as you couldn’t help but move your hips against the thigh he had between your legs. rafe looked down, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth as he watched you rut against him. “does that feel good?” he hiked your dress up, wanting a better view of your clothed cunt. you hummed, your skin flushing as rafe concentrated on the way you moved underneath him. hands roaming your body, there wasn’t an inch of you that went untouched. slipping your dress off, rafe marveled at the sight of your bare chest.

despite you two being together for a while, the furthest you two had ever gotten was making out and a little groping here and there, but that was it. rafe had no problem waiting until you were ready to go there. you shivered, the chilly air of rafe’s room making your nipples harden right before his eyes. “fuck, bambi..” he cupped one of your tits, a whimper leaving your lips when he leaned down and took the other in his mouth. “are you okay if i do this?” you glanced down at his hand moving your underwear to the side. meeting his eyes, you nodded. “please.”

rafe watched your face morph into one of full blown pleasure when he gathered the wetness at your entrance and glided the tips of his fingers to your clit. “you’re soaked.” he laughed, making you turn your head away from him out of shyness. grabbing your chin, rafe squeezed your cheeks together and forced you to look at him as his fingers started working your sensitive bundle of nerves. you were instantly trying to draw away from his digits, the motions being far too much for you at once. “shhh, don’t run from it,” he licked a stripe up the column of your throat, “let me watch you.” he smiled teasingly.

you smiled back, only for it to be wiped from your face when he slapped your folds, the sensation making you jolt. despite it stinging for a quick second, you started chasing his hand for more. “you want another one?” he slapped you again, this time making your thighs shake, “my little whore likes that, huh?” you were surprised at the name calling, but even more suprised when you found out you liked it. “talk to me, baby. tell me what you want..” his lips ghosted over yours. rafe had gotten you so wet, you could hear your slick with each stroke of his fingers. “wanna go all the way with you, ray..”

rafe swore he could hear the angels singing. he’s been waiting, anticipating for this day to come. “yeah?” he kissed you, slotting himself between your thighs before pulling away from your cunt. “yes. ‘want you so bad!” you whined, wrapping your legs around his waist. you watched him pop his fingers in his mouth, sucking the remnants of you off of his digits. oh, god. pulling him close, you kissed him deeply, tasting yourself on his tongue. taking your underwears off in one swift movement, you palmed rafe in his shorts, your eyes widening when you felt how large he was in your hand.

“you’ll be fine, baby. i’m gonna take such good care of you..” in rafe’s mind, you had already did this before, but the look on your face was starting to make him think otherwise. his suspicions were confirmed when you looked up at him with watery eyes. “is it going to hurt?” you whimpered, his erection resting heavily on your tummy. rafe studied you for a moment. “you’ve never had sex before?” you shook your head, biting your lip nervously. rafe felt so wrong for being so turned on at the revelation. “have you ever touched yourself?” rafe was on the brink of losing his mind. “no..”

that was it. this man was going to ruin you. “i’m sorry, it’s embarrassing.” you pouted, looking away from him. embarrassing? rafe felt like he could cum right then and there. “that’s not embarrassing at all, baby.” he reassured you, moving away any stray hairs you might’ve had in your face. “you know what that means? that means i get to turn you into my own personal little slut.” his words made butterflies flutter in your stomach. rafe unbuckled his belt, his shorts and boxers now long forgotten. despite being horny out of his mind, rafe still checked to make sure you were okay.

“are you sure about this, bambi?” you watched as he snaked down your body, hooking your thighs to his shoulders. a shaky breath left your lips, your hands intertwining with his as he pressed kisses to your flesh. “yes, i want you-” you were cut off by rafe’s tongue delving into your sweetness. your back arched off of his mattress, your thighs threatening to snap around his head. the only word you could use to describe the noises in rafe’s room was lewd. the slurping, grunting, moaning, it was all hitting you at once that this was actually happening.

rafe was so hard already, his own fist wrapped around his cock as he sloppily lapped at your soaked pussy. he couldn’t get enough. instinctively, you couldn’t help your hips from grinding against his face, your boyfriend doing everything to make you tremble and shake in pure bliss. you freed one of your hands from his grip and trailed it up your chest, squeezing your tit while rafe groaned at the sight. “i haven’t even put any fingers in you, baby, you’re going to be a mess by the time i actually fuck you.” you cried out when he sucked your clit, his middle finger prodding at your entrance.

gasping at the intrusion, rafe shushed you as you whimpered at the unfamiliar stretch. “how are we doing, sweetheart?” he looked up at you, cursing under his breath. you were so fucking tight, he could only imagine how you’d feel wrapped around his cock. “..hurts a little.” you took a breath, moaning when he curled his digit. “it’ll feel good soon, i promise baby. ‘gonna make you cum so fucking much.” he continued working on your clit, the added stimulation making your eyes screw shut. rafe waited until you were gasping his name before entering a second finger.

you practically screamed, your hands shooting down to dig your nails into his skin. “rafe, i think i’m!-” you froze, your eyes rolling back as you felt a wave of euphoria wash over you. it was unlike anything you had ever felt before. suddenly you couldn’t breathe, your mouth falling open in a silent moan before your legs started to shake. rafe knew you were cumming and it only made him go rougher on you, wanting your first orgasm to be unforgettable. inserting a third finger, your eyes shot open as you thrashed against his sheets, your body trying to retract from him.

“r-rafe, s’too much! i can’t!” your words came out choppy with each breath you tried to take, your boyfriend eventually bringing you down from your high. you had tears rolling down your cheeks, your entire body feeling like jelly as rafe came up from between your thighs. the lower half of his face, and even the tip of his nose, was glistening with your slick. rafe had given you a taste of something you soon felt like you couldn’t get enough of. rafe grabbed a handful of your hair, forcing you to look down where he lined his cock up with your entrance.

you met each other’s eyes, releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding, before he slammed into you, both of you having two different reactions. while rafe doubled over, absolutely enthralled by how tight you were, you were crying, your nails leaving crescents in rafe’s side. you were only able to take half of his length, but rafe was determined to give you the whole thing by the time he was done. while the feeling wasn’t exactly painful, you just felt so full. rafe took your lips in a searing kiss, pulling out before thrusting into you again. “you feel so fucking good, you know that?” he praised you.

rafe started thrusting into you until any sense of discomfort melted away. “oh my god, look at you taking me so fucking well..” rafe whispered against your skin, littering your neck and chest with kisses. wrapping your arms around his neck, you didn’t hold back from moaning underneath him. “rafe go faster, please!” your boyfriend smiled, pulling away momentarily to see that dark look in your eyes. “whatever you want, baby.” you cried out when his hips slammed into your own, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. “oh, rafe..” you shuddered, now that you were filled to the brim.

“you’re so perfect, you want this dick everyday?” you nodded frantically, not seeing how you could go without it now. “yeah? i bet you do..” he laughed, “‘been wanting to corrupt you since i got you, baby. your sweet little innocent eyes looking up at me when i would rub you through your panties, you have no idea how bad i wanted to get you naked and fuck you until you were crying for me to stop.” he slapped your cheek, a gasp leaving your lips at the action. “look at you now, you’re gonna be begging for this all the time.. ‘might just fuck a baby into you, huh?” you whimpered at his words.

“i want that.” you panted, his pubic bone slamming down on your clit with each thrust. “yeah? you want me to fill you up? get you all pretty and pregnant?” god, what was happening to you? “yes, ray! i want it so bad, ‘want your babies!” now it was rafe’s turn to get hysterical, the idea of you growing round with his seed turned him on beyond belief. “fuck!” he grunted, “oh, i wanna see that so bad, ‘want you walking around tanneyhill with your tummy full. everyone will know what we did.. what you let me do to you.” rafe didn’t care if it was the heat of the moment making you two talk like this, he just knew that you were it for him.

“how about i breed you right now, bambi? you want that?” he hoped you’d say yes, considering he wasn’t going to last very long. when he felt you wrap your legs around his waist, locking him in, he nearly lost it by how turned on he was that you wanted the same thing. “please give it to me!” you cried, your boyfriend pulling you into his chest where he embraced you, making you unable to move away from him. you buried your face in his neck, biting down on his flesh as his hips stuttered, shooting hot, thick ropes of cum inside of you. you relished in the feeling, your walls milking him for all that he had.

“son of a- fuck! you’re squeezing me so fucking hard.” he shivered, the feeling of you gripping him from the base was undeniably the best thing he’s ever felt. reaching down, rafe rubbed hard circles on your clit until you came around him, only making you spasm even more. after you had raked your nails down his torso, and drew blood from biting him so hard, rafe had pulled out of you with a hiss, not a single drop of cum dribbling out. you had taken it all. “holy shit, are you okay, babe?” you looked spent. droopy eyes, swollen lips, tear stained cheeks, rafe thought you couldn’t get any more prettier than this.

you spotted the bite mark on his neck. “ray, you’re bleeding..” you attempted to sit up but failed pathetically when your arms gave out from under you. “s’okay.. stay right here, i’ll be right back.” you were dazed, your vision hazy as rafe went to grab a cold towel. when he came back, the blood from the curve of his neck was gone and he wrapped you in his sheets. dabbing the towel on your forhead, you suppressed a giggle at his ministrations. “i’m okay, rafe.” you pecked his cheek, grabbing his arm so he could spoon you. pressing a kiss to your temple, he massaged soothing circles into your side.

“you were so good for me, baby..” he whispered, his words making your heart flutter in your chest. “you promise i wasn’t some amateur?” rafe shushed you, a laugh tumbling from his mouth. “no way, you were great. i don’t know how we’re gonna get through a day without ravaging each other.” you hummed, already daydreaming about the next time. “did you mean what you said earlier? about wanting a baby?” rafe turned you around so you were face to face. you trailed a finger down his jaw. “well, i’ve always wanted kids..” you smiled. “with me though?” rafe’s eyes softened when you nodded.

“with only you..”

[monstersflashlight]

Day 11. Monster-kinktober: Razor sharp smile + Sex Toys/Dirty talk

A/N: This is for the anon asking for more orcs, and also because Orctober deserved at least one story. Enjoy!

Orc x fem!reader || sex toys, dirty talk, semi-public sex, exhibitionism (kinda), teasing

Dating the boss was probably not the best idea you ever had, but he asked and you had the biggest crush on him, so you said yes. And it was phenomenal. It was wonderful. It was the best relationship (and best sex) you had in your life.

And from that point on, it only got better.

You played and joked, you were (almost) always professional during work hours, but when the day ended, he liked to bend you over his desk and fuck you until you were screaming his name and making a mess out of your panties. He loved to take them off and make you walk home without them on. He loved even more to grab your ass in the middle of the grocery store and whisper filthy things against your ear.

Like how he would lick his cum out of your leaking pussy as soon as you got home. How he would finger your tight pussy until you were creaming his hand and fainting from pleasure. How he would fuck you so hard you would twitch every time you sat the next day… Before him, you didn’t know you had a dirty talk kink, but good goddess if it didn’t make your pussy wet and your clit tingly every time he opened his mouth.

But he was also infuriating. He sent you texts and whispered things in the most inopportune moments, making you all hot and bothered when you couldn’t do anything about it, leaving you blue balled and needy as he walked away laughing. So you planned your revenge.

You asked your witch friend to enchant one of your dildos, it would be connected to his dick and he will feel everything you did to that dildo in his own flesh. It was marvelous. You touched it lightly, one day, just to see if it worked, jerking it a total of three strokes before you heard him groaning in the next room and he came running to fuck you. You had enough time to hide it before he was throwing you over his shoulder and taking you to bed.

And that’s how it all started.

You are sitting across from him in the meeting when you reach inside your purse and take out the dildo. You are on the far side of the table so there’s no way nobody can see. You start slow, stroking the base until he has to cough to cover up a moan. He looks down alarmed, but he keeps talking as if nothing is happening under the table. You have to bite your lip to stop from smirking.

But you keep going, stroking him a bit more until he twitches uncomfortably, and then you start the real torture. You rub over the tip over and over, taking special attention to the sensitive point under the head that always drives him completely crazy. He covers his mouth with his big green hand as someone else starts talking. You stare at him, your face probably blushed and your panties getting wet. It’s exhilarating to be teasing him so publicly, so shamelessly as there’s people around you that don’t know what’s happening.

His eyes meet yours and you blush harder, biting your lip and moving your wrist in the way that drives him completely insane. He frowns at you, his hand still covering his mouth as he twitches in his seat again. You have to control the giggle that wants to leave your mouth. His frown deepens, and you decide to get to the last part of your plan.

You wore your special skirt this morning, the one that he always compliments your ass on, and slowly part your legs, the dildo still in your hand. You use the tip to move your panties to the side, and he uncovers his mouth enough to mouth “don’t” at you. You smile big and happy, and press further, his tip inside of you as you start doing kegels around the dildo.

He blushes deep green and slams his hand over the table. “The meeting is dismissed. Leave,” he growls, startling everyone around the table, including you.

All of your colleagues rapidly grab their stuff and get out, you don’t move from your position, his eyes pinning you to the chair, the tip of the dildo still inside your pussy. You wait until the last of them is out of the door to groan, pushing him a bit deeper just to see his reaction. He grunts, getting up, looking intently at you as he plants his hands over the table and breathes hard. He’s looking down as you do it again, fucking just the tip inside your dripping pussy.

He groans low and deep, and then he looks up. You see his razor sharp smile, framed by his tusks, cruel and mad as he sets his eyes on you. You shiver in anticipation, debating if you should run or just stand there still until he gets to you. But he does none of that. He stands still across the table and stares at you.

You know you are teasing your luck when you lower your hand and start fucking him a bit deeper, a bit faster. You are so worked up it would only take a flick to your clit to make you explode, but you don’t do that, just working the dildo in and out of you, not too deep, an agonizing torture for him. You can see the outline of his dick clearly, a wet patch forming at the tip, you lick your lips wanting to taste him more than anything.

And then he promptly talks. “You thought you could trick me, human? You thought it’s funny to tease me like that for everyone to see?” There’s an edge of danger in his voice that drives your heartbeat into a frenzy. “You thought you could play with me while I was working and you won’t be reprimanded after? Tsk, tsk, tsk… Silly human.”

He walks to you slowly, his steps measured as you shiver with a spike of fear. He looks feral and you have to bite your lip not to moan loudly. He grabs your hair, without any force, pushing your head back so you are staring up at him. His skin glistens under the fluorescent lights, giving him a tint of neon green that looks so pretty you melt inside.

“You are a little shit, you know that, right?” You nod, his hand tightening on your hair. “How long did you have that dildo?” He asks then, a smirk on his face.

“A- a couple weeks,” you confess.

“You’ve been waiting to use it, haven’t you? Your needy pussy is always so ready to be fucked, and you were shameless enough to fuck your tight hole in front of everyone,” he teases. He’s not mad, his voice dropping an octave and making you shiver. He definitely liked it more than he admits.

“Nobody knew,” you retorted.

“I knew. You were fucking yourself in the middle of a meeting, you are a little slut, aren’t you? Don’t answer, we both know you are.” You blush hard, your pussy twitching at his words. He groans when he feels it, the dildo still halfway inside of you. “Let’s see what we can do here… You are going to get up and bend over the table, you better not drop the dildo,” he warns and keeps talking, “then I’m going to watch you fuck yourself with it until you come around it. And if I deem you did a good enough job, I might fuck your hole after, filling you so much you will have to walk here with your knees pressed together to avoid everyone knowing you got stuffed with orc come for being a little shit. Are we clear?” You nod fervently, your breath labored.

He releases your hair, and you rush to do what he ordered, getting up with your legs pressed together to avoid the dildo falling out of you as you rest your chest against the table. You don’t have time to push the skirt up before he’s doing it for you, ripping your panties off in one clean movement as he groans when he sees your stretched hole around the dildo.

“Look at that, so wet and needy, you have the prettiest pussy I’ve ever seen,” he compliments. “Your pretty holes twitch so beautifully around cock, I won’t never have enough of it.” It feels like he’s not even talking to you, but just stating facts out loud, and that makes you even hotter.

You reach around your body and start pushing the dildo in and out. It’s a weird angle and you can’t fuck yourself as you want, but he sits down on your empty chair and stares at your hand so intently that you are on edge in less than minutes.

“I love when you play with yourself, your body is a work of art, and your pussy is made to be fucked. All mine to fuck as much as I want, and still won’t never be enough because you are a slutty girl, aren’t you?” You moan loudly, moving your wrist slightly to get a better angle. It works, and the dildo hits your G-spot beautifully, you whisper his name brokenly. “That’s it darling, make yourself come for me, let me see how good you are,” he urges, your pussy twitching around the dildo with his words.

You move faster, hitting your G-spot over and over. You try to reach down to touch your clit, but he growls and stops your hand. You fuck yourself harder, trying to get there, but it’s not enough. “Please, please, let me touch my clit…,” you beg. He chuckles, and you feel his thumb circling the little ball of nerves, making you shout and come instantly.

“Just like that, let it all out, darling. Such a good human for me, such a needy pussy…” He whispers filthy words as you come down from your high, his thumb never leaving your clit as he milks the orgasm out of you.

“Was I- was I good? Are you going to fuck me now?” You ask in a whisper, looking at him over your shoulder.

“Of course I will, darling… Later,” he deadpans.

“What?!” You exclaim, trying to turn around but unable to when he lands a hand on your lower back, pinning you to the table.

“You played with me, and now I’m going to play with you. I’m going to push this dildo all the way inside of you,” he says as he does just that, “and I’m going to leave it there as I finish my work next to you. And you are going to wait there, stuffed, until I’m ready to fuck you.”

“But, but…” You try to argue, your brain too confused after such a great orgasm.

“But nothing, you should have known better than to play with an orc, silly human,” he chuckles as he puts his laptop over your ass, using you as a table as you try to move and earn yourself a light slap on your ass cheek. “Now be good and stay still until I finish this document,” he orders.

[thinkinonsense]

VELVET ELVIS ❤︎

lumberjack!logan howlett x fem!reader

cw: fluff! domesticity! soft!logan pregnancy

author's note: this was inspired by the kacey musgraves song! just wanted to write some fluff :)

masterlist

divider credit: @/roseraris

within these cabin walls, time stood still. logan liked his life and the time machine he's built himself. you and him live in a 60's dream home.

during the weekdays, logan went to work at the lumberyard while you stayed at home and worked on your paintings. when the two of you moved in together years ago, logan got you to agree to quit your job and prioritize your talents since he could do triple the amount of work for a normal man, money would never be an issue.

on saturday's, the two of you would go into town and you would bring your art pieces to a shop downtown for them to sell. whatever money you made, you put back towards the supplies you needed because logan covered everything else.

"well, don't 'cha look like a dream" logan compliments as he watches you get ready in the mirror.

"thank you, sugar." you smile as he leans down to kiss your temple then down to your cheek.

"prettiest fuckin' thing i've ever seen." he mutters against your skin. "is this new?"

both your eyes fall to the satin powder blue slip dress that adorned your frame. he loved how it looked with your pretty white mary jane boots and the small bump blooming underneath the soft material of your dress.

"yeah, picked it up earlier this week." you reply, removing the curlers in your hair and teasing the hair pieces up high.

"love it." logan says, nibbling at your earlobe.

"logan..." you giggle, lightly shoving him away. "go get dressed so we can leave."

"yes, ma'am."

reluctantly, logan gets up and grabs the nice outfit you put together for him earlier. a fresh pair of denim jeans, a white shirt, and his brown leather jacket. as an anniversary present one year, you got logan a silver star-shaped belt buckle that matched the necklace he got for your birthday when you two first met. in the mirror, you watched him put it on.

"whatcha thinkin' about over there, sweetheart?" he smirks, looking up to find your eyes.

"dippin' you in honey."

"dirty. i like it."

"not like that, perv." you giggle. "just wanna be stuck to you forever."

"that's sweet," he says, walking over, bending down, and gently grabbing your chin to kiss you.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

once the two of you make it inside the tiny shop, logan brings in your painting while you greet the older ladies who own the building. all of them fawn over logan and your round tummy; telling you how lucky you are. something you never let yourself forget.

"you'll never believe what we picked up at the gala last weekend." one of the grey-haired women tells you.

"what did you two find?" you asked, always curious to their treasures.

"the hell kinda painting is this?" logan asks, looking sideways at one of the paintings on the wall.

the sight makes you laugh. no matter how long you two have been together, logan still struggles to see some of the beauty that you do in certain art pieces.

"i think the handsome lumberjack found it." the other lady winked as they guide you over to where logan stood. hanging upon the wall sat a velvet elvis painting.

"oh my!" you gasp.

ever since you were a little girl, you adored the painting that some would call 'tacky'.

"you like that, sweets?" he questions but you ignore it, stepping closer, running a finger along the golden frame.

"my grandma used to have one in her living room, it was her most prized possession –well, next to my grandpa."

behind you, logan could see the couple smiling to each other. too busy amazed by the painting to notice anything else around you.

“what a lucky find!” you marvel, turning around to face them.

“which is why we want you to have it.” one of them says while the other takes it down from the wall.

in shock, you shake your head insisting that you couldn’t allow them to give it away. they insist on you two taking it home, telling you to hang it somewhere nice. logan wasn’t exactly thrilled to have the painting in the home but he knew you adored it so he would never say a word out loud.

on the way home that night, you raved about the piece. logan loved hearing you talk about the things you were passionate about. he could listen to you explain color theory for hours. his own personal, prettier version of bob ross. when he brought in the painting, you told him exactly where you wanted to hang it in the living room.

“right there, baby.” you instruct him. “be careful.”

the man couldn’t be hurt if he tried but he found your warning cute. once it was hung up, you both step back to admire it. the art work did at least match the aesthetic of the house, logan could admit.

“i mean, its no mona lisa but i don’t mind it.” logan says, pulling you in to kiss your forehead.

“you know, i don’t really care for the mona lisa.” you admit with a shrug.

“really?”

“mhm, don’t like that everyone fawns over it. i want character, creativity, and something unique."

"hm.." he hums, swaying you gently.

"this painting reminds me of you." your voice meek and muffled against his shirt.

"is that so?" he asks, looking down at you.

you nod. "i want something no one else has and something no one else will ever understand the way that i do. you're my favorite work of art, lo."

"i'm only a work of art because you carved and molded me with your beautiful mind." he says, trying to allow a tear to fall down his face.

logan couldn't believe the life he'd been gifted after all the shit he's dealt with in his lifetime. he didn't deserve this; he didn't deserve you. your kindness, your warmth, your talent, your body that carries the only other human he will ever love as much as you. he would never be able to repay you for this little life and slice of peace that you've gifted him.

[immortaljai]

Good Talk.

1.5k Words, Smut, dirty talk, 3some, asshole behavior, porn w plot.

It was a weird family but it was your family. The amount of times the X-men tried to recruit you was sickening, Wade always in your ear about unicorns and his “Golden babys” all that you were used to. You never expected Wade to come home after his disappearance let alone with someone who seems to hate everyone. Logan was snarky, a drunk, and overall an asshole from the moment you met him.

He had this “lone wolf” batman shit going on with him, it confused you seeing Wade and him interact let along him living with you guys. You tried to avoid him as best as you could getting cursed at less then Wade but it irritated you how he hated you when you did nothing primarily to Logan other than have your tomfoolery jokes with Wade.

You really should have noticed the heated gazes, the close proximity and the borderline degrading words, Logan wanted nothing to do with you for a reason. With Wade it was different he was always..touchy always close especially when he was hurt one smaller cut off healing arm waving at Logan and one hand on your waist a bit close to your bottom as you faced him cleaning the blood off his face. If only you looked behind you to see the irritated flustered mess Logan was, truly explains why Wade laughed louder.

You’re a clueless thing indeed, how could you not have noticed Logans brushing up against you as you argue about how onions should be cut “You know what fork hands maybe if you pulled weight around here and cooked your own fucking meals you wouldnt have so much to complain about” the chopping board making loud noises as you slides irritatedly Wade was long gone getting the “Powdered donuts” for Blind Al so he really had no idea what was going down Al decided long before to leave the apartment.

“You have knifes for hands use them” you snarkily said with an eyeroll “You got a fuckin’ smart mouth you better watch it” he growled in your ear still hovering, he snatched the knife out of your hand standing behind you cutting the onions himself “Ya’ see? Maybe if you didnt run your fuckin’ mouth so much you’d learn something” that made your anger flare quickly exhaling through your nose “Maybe if you didnt fuck up what you had, you wouldnt be here and id be asshole babysitting free” the kitchen went silent as the slicing ceased you could hear him breathing lightly behind you. The knife clatted on the cutting board as he leaned down his nose touching your shoulder, his breathing on your lower back “Ya wanna repeat that?” 

You nearly shat yourself as you stuttered out or tried to stutter out an apology, however that was cut short due to Wade coming through the door “MARVEL JESUS IS BACK” you never thought you'd be so happy to hear that name quickly and swiftly moving from Logans trapped arms and running to the door “Heeeey red” you said side smile on your face as you let out a breath you didn't know you were holding “Hi sweet face, where is Whiskey dick” a grunt came from behind you knowing it was logan you paid no mind to him, as Wades eyes widen “Theses my muscle man oh you look angry i think my bone is rising” you rolled your eyes a smirk on your face as you turned to look at logan “M’ not pissed, not in the slightest” he said gruffly a beer in his hands leaning on the doorway his heated gaze on you.

Wade's eyes widened as he raised his non-existent eyebrows “Ohhh what happened while i was gone- clothes are still on” that made you scoff lightly folding your arms as you walked away from the kitchen “Dinners nearly ready” Logan said staring at Wade as you disappeared. Wade smirked walking up to Logan quite closely “So..what happened between you and sweet cheeks” Logan looked at Wade with slight uninterest “She’s got a mouth” “That can be used properly” Wade replied quickly with a smirk “Your disgusting” Logan said pinching his nose “And yet here you are a boner cause of an attitude- you pervert” 

Dinner was as usual loud, friends over as if it was a celebration, Logan in the corner watching keeping a close eye on his self proclaimed daughter a drink in hand as usual, he manspread slightly catching your gaze landing on his lap before away again, his eyes however were already on you, maybe it was the buzz, maybe it was his hormones but you looked..nice..better then nice even. Throughout the night he moved closer to you, from the chair, then next to Laura, then in the end you were in the middle of him and Wade.

Wade's arm around your waist from the moment he closed in, his eyes moving from the cleavage your shirt gave as he talked to you, his eyes taking in you completely licking his lower lip, he noticed Logan moving in and he smirked to himself. “Go get my board game for me sweet cheeks” Wade whispered to you winking to Logan, he gave Wade a blank face before taking a long swig of his drink.

You entered his room, it was cluttered as you huffed looking through his things, tossing things behind you “Where the fu-'' your sentence  was cut short as you were pushed and pinned agaist the bed a heavyweight pushed against your back before a hand came to cover your mouth “Smart mouth..” Logan whispered in your ear you blushed deeply at the bulge pressed against you and the husky voice behind you “M’ gonna need you to listen to me, there's about 6 people in the house..i'm gonna need you to be quiet” you didn't need to be told twice nodding your head slowly.

That was all he needed his hands moving up your pants pulling them down slightly his fingers reading you through your underwear “L-at that, soaked been thinking bout this?” you were pre occupied your face pressed into the sheets whimpers coming from you, that made him chuckle his pants swiftly being pulled down as his tip nudged between your core and your underwear making him sigh deeply before pulling back your slick being pulled with each drag of his hips “This- jus’ gonna have to do for now” he said fucking your thighs, his hand moving to grab your throat to lift your head, the door opened making your eyes widen as you looked back seeing Wade. 

“Fuckin knew it- you guys left me out” he frowned as he started removing his pants quickly “Dumbass- you gave me the hint” Logan groaned into your ear his pace not slowing, his tip brushing your clit perfectly with each drag of his hips, your ass jiggling each time. Wade smirked as he sat in front of you his legs opening “Hi sweet cheeks- im sorry to ask this..given your state but-” he grabbed your hair using your open mouth as a fleshlight as he sighed in content “Yeah..thats better” Wade was bigger then any male you sucked off and it didnt help thst Logan wasnt letting up, you quickly found a rhythm from sucking Wade using your hand to stroke what couldnt fit sucking his tip harshly making his eyes roll back “F-fuck yea- like a lolipop sweet face” his head thrown back as he softly rocked his hips in your mouth, Logan hand reaching up to grab his balls “There you go smart mouth, make the idiot cum” he said whispering in your ear speeding up his precum coating your cunt. Your eyes rolling back as you tried your best to deep throat Wade while stroking his cock “Ohh-Ohhh yea im about to paint the entire room white like marble-” Wades eyes squeezed shut as he held your head down moving it once, twice, three times before blowing his load down your throat and falling back his chest heaving as you swallowed it all licking his tip clean. 

Behind you, you heard a snicker as your face was pushed down into the pillow and a dick was inserted into you Logans pace started off uncaring as he used you as if you were a doll slamming you up and down as his hand rapidly rubbed at your bud “Yea- I don't see you talking now do I?” he chuckled at your muffled moans crudely his chest making contact with your back as he groaned “Fuck..cmon cum doll, cum for your asshole” he whispered in your ear making your mouth fall open as you screamed in the pillow your vision going white as you painted his cock white, triggering his own orgasm as he stuffed you full thrusting a few more times before pulling out pulling your underwear up making sure it all stayed in. Wade’s eyes crinkled into a smile seeing your fucked out face “We gotta get up doll- they gonna start speculating” however you could barely hear let along talk so you nodded dumbly 

That made them chuckle lightly as they stood up Logan stuffing his cock into his pants as Wade put back on his pants “Guess we tell them she fell asleep?” Wade asked “I don’t give a shit” Logan said walking out with a smirk leaving you in your slutted out state 

“Good night sweet cheeks” 

Still feral thanks for cumming.

[savi0rr]

Dirty Cash.ᐟ

Viktor x Fem! Reader

In which, you suddenly get a tone of money. Who knew that you had to do some dirty work for it.

a/n: hi divas!! I saw a lot of people liked my other Viktor oneshot so here's another one! this one isn't my fav cuz its lowkey short but I think its cute

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

“Where on earth did you get that?” Viktor exclaimed, his eyebrows knitting together in astonishment as he stared at the box of expensive, high-tech equipment you had just carried into the dimly lit lab. The box was adorned with sleek designs and the latest technology, a stark contrast to the cluttered workbench scattered with dusty tools and disassembled gadgets. You couldn’t help but smile, tilting your head playfully to one side.

“Do you have any idea how much these are?” he continued, his fingers delicately brushing over one of the intricate components, marveling at its craftsmanship. You held your breath for a moment, glancing off to the side as if considering your next words carefully, then shrugged nonchalantly. With a mischievous twinkle in your eye, you replied, “Don’t ask and enjoy,” punctuating the statement with a wink while leaning casually against the desk, exuding an air of confidence.

Viktor’s eyes lit up like a child’s on Christmas morning as he sorted through the various parts, his mind already racing with possibilities. “You have no idea how rare these are…” he muttered under his breath, becoming engrossed in the treasure trove of trinkets laid before him.

After a brief, absorbed silence, Viktor paused, placing the delicate gear back in the box. He leaned back in his chair, a faint sigh escaping his lips, and regarded you with a skeptical expression. “Did you steal these?” he challenged, raising an eyebrow as he scrutinized your demeanor. The intensity of his gaze made you hesitate for a fleeting moment as you tried your best to maintain an innocent facade.

“I just had some… spare money. Why not spend it on my favorite inventor?” you replied, tilting your head slightly and pouting to soften the edges of the conversation. “Don’t you trust me?”

Viktor let out a heavy sigh, shaking his head in disbelief. “You? Have spare money?” he scoffed, a frown forming on his lips as he redirected his attention to the cluttered box. “And for one, I don’t trust you.”

You allowed a smirk to dance across your face, your shoulders shrugging in a carefree manner. “I had some… dirty work, let’s say,” you suggested with a hint of mischief in your voice. 

Viktor’s expression shifted, his curiosity igniting as he leaned forward, his body tensing slightly. “Dirty work?” he echoed, his voice trailing off as his eyes drifted over your figure, assessing you with a newfound suspicion. Your cheeks flushed under his gaze. “Of course not! I haven’t gone insane,” you retorted quickly, adding, “I just did some work. In the Undercity.”

“What kind?” Viktor pressed, his interest now piqued as he frowned, searching your face for clues. 

“Just covering some people’s tracks,” you replied, casual air about you, though the words hung heavy in the air. “They paid me a lot,” you added, throwing him a playful wink to lighten the gravity of the situation.

Viktor fell quiet, the surprise and concern battling within him. After a moment, he nodded slowly, his expression softening. “And you spent it all on these parts?” he inquired, a hint of disbelief creeping back into his tone. “On me?” 

“I didn’t spend all of it on you,” you giggled, slipping off the edge of the desk to approach him. Leaning slightly over his shoulder, you whispered teasingly, “Or maybe I did,” allowing your breath to brush against his ear, an intimate gesture that sent a thrill down both of your spines. You tilted your head again, your smirk widening.

“Have fun with your brand-new toys,” you said softly, stepping back to create space between you two as you turned to leave the lab. Viktor stood there, confusion swirling in his mind, a string of curses escaping his lips as he realized the complexities of your actions. “Damn it,” he thought, a flicker of gratitude igniting within him—he owed you one.

[basketonthedoorstepofthefbi]

“hungover” - hotch x fem!reader

after a girls’ night in, you wake up next to your boyfriend.

1380 words - FLUFFY FLUFF

cw; mentions of alcohol and food, implied age gap?, typical hangover, jemily agenda (sry not sry)

a/n: I wrote this on my phone on vacation bc I have a serious problem

———————

The first thing you notice when you wake up is that you are not in your clothes.

You aren’t in your clothes. And you only realize it because of the scent wafting up your nose. Sea Salt Breeze - the cologne you’d gotten him for Christmas last year - emanates from the t-shirt that envelopes your upper half. You dip your chin for another whiff, breathing him in deeply. You want the smell inscribed into your brain.

You feel the bed dip and creak and you instinctively shut your eyes, playing possum as Aaron pads into the bathroom. The door whines as he shuts it most of the way, not totally closing it because he thinks you’re still asleep and that the sound of the door shutting will wake you.

Each of your senses turns on one at a time, like your brain waves run on dial-up Internet. You open your eyes and the room is mostly dark, save for the sliver of light creeping in through the outline of the curtains. You run the palm of your hand along Aaron’s sheets and marvel over how soft they are - Egyptian cotton, he’d told you once before.

Your head hurts, but only mildly. You’d certainly been drunker before, but last night was still up there. Penelope made her mojitos strong.

You slowly sit up in the bed as Aaron opens the door, flicking the bathroom light off in the same motion. Your eyes meet his and he cracks a small smile. “Thought you’d still be asleep,” he muses. You love his pale blue boxers and seeing the hair on his legs. His calves are crazy defined - he’s a runner, after all, but still. You rarely see him in anything but a suit and tie, so it’s always a treat. “I didn’t wake you, did I?”

You shake your head, wincing slightly at the movement. Maybe you’re a little more hungover than you thought. “I was already awake,” you mumble, running a hand over your face. “Did you put me in your own clothes last night? I have pajamas in my drawer,” you point out, gesturing to the second drawer of Aaron’s dresser, the one that contains your set of pajamas, a few spare pairs of underwear, and a couple of emergency outfits, just in case you end up sleeping over at his place.

It happens more often than not, so you keep the drawer decently stocked at all times.

“You insisted,” Aaron climbs into the bed, reaching for you. He tugs you to him and you roll over onto your side, and then halfway onto your tummy so that your leg drapes over his and your palm rests flat on his chest.

You can hear his heart beating. It’s like a metronome, steady and guiding and calm. You feel his pointed chin nuzzle into your hair and then, his lips, quick yet effective, against your forehead.

Flashes of last night run through your head. You, Emily and JJ, over at Penelope’s apartment. A symphony of girlish giggles, talking about Emily and JJ’s upcoming wedding date, drinking at least three pitchers of mojitos among the four of you. Watching Dirty Dancing and gabbing the entire time, realizing it’d be a bad idea to drive yourself home, and calling Aaron to come get you.

When he arrived, you called him Hotch and apologized for him having to come get you, and he reminded you that he was Aaron and he was your boyfriend and he would pick you up anytime you needed it. You were determined to play the Dirty Dancing soundtrack on the ride home, fumbling with his phone until you found it.

You belted out (I’ve Had) The Time of My Life and demanded Aaron sing along. He admitted that he didn’t know all the words and you gave him a stern lecture until you started laughing so hard that you were in tears. Traffic lights reflected Christmas ornament colors in Aaron’s brown eyes as he drove, occasionally glancing over at you.

You swore you saw the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile as you berated him for not knowing the words to such a classic song.

And then, once you were back at his place, you sat on the edge of the bed and stared at your shoes dumbly until Aaron offered to help you take them off. “Laces too hard,” you mumbled, and Aaron just hummed in agreement before kneeling down to help you.

And then he helped you out of your clothes. He went for your drawer, and you threw a pillow at him. “The college t-shirt,” you demanded with these Bambi-esque eyes.

“Arms up, baby,” Aaron said as he slid his law school t-shirt onto your upper half. He saved that specific term of endearment for times like these, when he was taking care of you, when he himself was exhausted. You could tell he was, too, not only because he kept yawning, but because of that glazed-over look in his chestnut eyes.

You glance down at the words George Washington University, printed over your chest.

Aaron’s arms around you tighten for just a moment as he embraces you, and you dig your face a little further into his chest. “No Jack today?” You ask, your voice coming out croaky.

“At his grandparents’,” Aaron murmurs, and you yawn. He strokes your hair. “How’s your head?”

“I haven’t had any complaints so far.”

Aaron’s hand freezes in your hair, and you lift your head, smirking at him. His mouth has formed a straight line, but you snicker and you can tell he’s trying not to smile at your dirty joke. “Degenerate,” he calls you.

“Prude,” you tease back, inching closer to kiss his jaw briefly before laying your head back down. “It hurts,” you answer his question. “But not as bad as it could.”

“That’s good,” Aaron comments, his hand running through your hair again, gently, the world’s most relaxing and least effective hairbrush. It feels nice, but his hands are so big that his fingers snag on the tangles, accomplishing nothing but making you feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Nothing wrong with that, though.

“Do you want some Tylenol for your headache?” Aaron asks, and you just curl up into him even more. He’s so warm, and sturdy, and it’s so rare that you get mornings like this. Either you’re both working or Jack has a soccer game or there’s something else going on. It’s nice just to lay around with him, to be mildly hungover and pretend like that’s the only thing going on in either of your lives.

“That would require getting out of bed,” you protest, and feel Aaron’s arms tighten around you. He’s a very doting boa constrictor.

“How about I get it for you, then?” He offers, and you shake your head and shift all your weight onto him. He chuckles, a deep, throaty noise you know you’re only privy to for about twenty minutes right after he’s woken up. “So that’s a no.”

“That’s a no,” you confirm, settling back in to your original position.

You lay like that with him, in comfortable silence, for a few minutes. Until it feels like you’ve melded into one being. Then Aaron finally shifts under you. “Honey, my arm’s asleep,” he whispers, as though he’s afraid to disturb you.

You slither off of him, then clamber out of bed with no amount of grace, going so far as to trip over the corner post of the bed. As Aaron sits up, you exclaim, “I’m okay!” and hold your hands out to steady yourself.

Aaron stifles a laugh and you watch him stand from the bed and he walks towards you, steadying you with one of those gargantuan hands on your shoulder. He then lifts that hand to tip your chin up. You step forward in a silent dance, wrapping your arms around his neck and standing on your toes to kiss him. “Oh, shit,” you murmur. “I bet I have really awful morning breath.”

He just blinks a few times, and then offers you a shit-eating grin. “Yeah, honey, you kind of do,” he admits. You lightly punch him in the pectoral and then head to the en suite to brush your teeth.

[sweetiecutie]

Pairing: König x fem! Reader

Warnings: NSFW, mdni, periods sex, blood play but not really(?), softie König

A/n: very self-indulgent. My periods are as tough as ever and there’s no one to comfort me, so I guess I’ll have to do it myself🥲

König didn’t really know much about periods. Well, of course he knew what menstruation is and that every woman has it once a month, but that was pretty much it. So when you started dating poor guy saw how things really were in female world.

He noticed how moody you would become a week prior your periods, how snappy you’d react to his harmless teasing. König noted your craving for sweets as well, and how angry and sad you’d be over a few pimples that appeared so unwelcomed on your precious face. And König felt truly sorry for you - it was clear as day that you were a hormonal mess, and there wasn’t anything he could do to help you, no matter how much he wanted to.

And then your periods finally came. König watched you get up suddenly from your spot on the couch, rushing straight to the bathroom. He was a bit confused - you were all snuggled up together, watching a movie you picked - did something happen? He knocked on the bathroom door softly, asking if everything was good - a few moments later you opened the door, sour expression on your face as you scrunch up the wrap from the pad. “Yeah, my periods started” you mumbled begrudgingly, your lips pulled in a small pout.

König who just couldn’t bear seeing his precious baby in pain, did everything in his power to comfort you. He wrapped his warm strong arms around your frail form, cuddling you into his chest. His fingers grazed gently the soft skin of your tummy where it ached, whispering sweet nothings into your ear, scattering small kisses wherever he could reach.

König did his research on how to ease menstrual pains. Painkillers, massage, yoga. But what particularly caught his attention - almost every article he’d read said that orgasm is a great way to get rid of cramps - not only healthy but pleasurable as well. So of course he suggested you just that.

König was so sad to see you this fearful and hesitant - “Baby, it’ll make a huge mess. Everything will be covered in blood and I don’t want you to get yourself dirty and-“ you rambled on, his eyes growing wide with every word you said. “Y/n, what are you even talking about?” He interrupted you softly, huge hands coming to cup your cheeks and he looks into your eyes deeply.

“Do you really think a bit of blood will stop me from fucking my amazing sexy girl? If you don’t want this - it’s okay, but please don’t think that I’m disgusted by you bleeding” he said it so earnestly, kissing both of your cheeks reassuringly. König hated the idea of you being self-conscious about absolutely natural processes in your body. So when you nodded shyly, slightly spreading your legs for him to settle in between them, König couldn’t contain a wide grin, even while kissing you passionately.

So with a thick towel under your hips, König got to work - lapping away at your poor pussy, smearing a mixture of your blood, slick and his own saliva all over his cheeks, gazing up at you drunkenly, moaning into your folds at the taste and smell of you. His fingers gently pumped in and out of your sopping cunt, marveling at the wetness blood provided, how easily three of his thick digits slipped into your sensitive cunny.

And only after making you cum on his mouth two times, König decided to fully indulge you, getting his heavy cock out of his boxers. With gentle move of his hips he sunk right into your velvety warmth, penetration as easy as ever due to blood lubrication. He went as gentle as ever, noting how overly sensitive you were - way more than usual. König made sure to not go too deep, to not disturb your poor uterus even more.

König was so sweet, rubbing your clit non-stop, wringing orgasm after orgasm out of your soft beautiful body. He scattered kisses all over your neck and chest, careful to not graze your sore from hormones nipples. And only when you couldn’t take no more - a trembling sweaty mess in his loving arms, babbling and whimpering deliriously, he allowed himself to finally cum on your twitching tummy.

König fucked you so good it took you several minutes to regain consciousness - with bleary eyes you looked up to him, your breath hitching slightly. Here was your boyfriend sitting next to you, grinning from ear to ear; lower half of his face was completely covered in dried blood, his hands and lower stomach glistening with dark red. That would definitely look terrifying if you didn’t know what exactly he was just doing.

“So how are your cramps?” He asked, his white teeth contrasting with brownish-red on his cheeks and lips. You closed your eyes in exhaustion, sinking deeper into soft pillows.

“Gone” you said, making König’s smile brighten impossibly more.

And yes, he’d definitely joke about being a vamp from this day on🙄

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[darkmatilda]

Heyhey, so I got this idea stuck in my head today, since I got such a bad hangover. I know tmi, but I was best friends with my toilet. The only thing helping me get through this mess was imagining Spencer infodumping facts and taking care of me…like holding my hair, making tea and cuddles.

So that’s basically my request. Basically reader drank too much on girls night and it’s the next day filled with regret and misery.

𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬' 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐝 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: the fun at your friend's bachelorette party ends by the toilet with a headache, but when you have such a wonderful boyfriend, even the worst hangover doesn't scare you.

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐰: spencer reid x femreader, established relationship, fluff, hungover, alcohol consumption, spancer takes care of you. 𝐚/𝐧: this is one of the requests i got from you lately, it's really different from my other fics (i don't really write so fluffy and comfy things...) but i just hope you'll like it and that you feel better now :>

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 1.4

“So? Did you have fun with the girls?”

You answered the question, laced with irony, with a faint groan, resting your cheek on the cold toilet seat. You didn’t even have the strength to turn toward your boyfriend, Spencer, who was likely leaning against the bathroom doorway with a look that screamed a classic I told you so.

Because he had told you. Before you left, after he’d finished marveling at how stunning you looked in the dress you’d chosen for the evening, he’d turned serious for a moment. He’d reminded you to be careful, stick close to the girls, watch your drink, and not overdo it with the alcohol. You’d joked that he sounded like your parent, but deep down, you knew it came from how much he cared about you. You never wanted to make him worry. That’s why you approached alcohol that evening with extreme caution, sipping one drink slowly over the course of half the night.

That was until Penelope raised her glass with a jubilant cheer—To our wonderful bride-to-be!—while pulling JJ into a tight embrace.

Prentiss joined the toast, and then you did too. Together, you made your way to the dance floor, and the rest of the night became a blur of shifting club lights, the thrum of music vibrating through every cell of your body, and laughter—so much laughter, endless laughter.

And now, thanks to that laughter—and your wildly misplaced confidence in your alcohol tolerance—you were spending the morning getting intimately acquainted with the toilet, swearing to never touch tequila again, and occasionally cursing Penelope’s enthusiasm.

“I had an absolutely splendid time,” you scoffed, and with that gesture, a sharp pain spread through your head. You sighed again, squeezing your eyes shut tightly. “Doesn’t it show?”

Then, another wave of nausea hit, forcing you to bury your head in the toilet.

The sound of vomiting drowned out the noise of him approaching, and you were startled to feel him crouching beside you, pulling your hair away from your neck and face, protecting it from getting dirty.

“Oh, sweetheart, the next few hours are going to be brutal for you,” he remarked, shaking his head and continuing to toy with your hair, gathering it into a makeshift ponytail with his hands instead of a hair tie.

“I’ve got one,” you mumbled weakly, raising your wrist to show the hair tie wrapped around it.

“No need, I’ve got it,” he replied.

“You don’t have to, it’s disgusting,” you said, suddenly embarrassed that he’d found you in such a state.

“Homo sum, humani nihil a me alienum puto,” he quoted, placing one hand gently on your back and stroking it soothingly. You focused on that fluid motion, closing your eyes again and hoping this was the last wave of nausea. “Besides, have you already forgotten I’m a criminal profiler? I see things a hundred thousand times worse than this over breakfast.”

You couldn’t help yourself and let out a short laugh.

“I think that’s it,” you said, gathering your strength to push yourself up onto your knees and finally move away from the toilet. “I hope that’s it.”

“Take it slow,” he advised, quickly standing up first to help you get up. “Alright? Do you feel at least one-tenth of a single percent better?”

“No, baby. I asked my stomach, and it said we actually feel about two-tenths of…something better.”

“Your sarcasm is back, so I’ll take that as a yes.”

“Guess what else came back?” you asked, causing him to nod questioningly. “I don’t know either. I’m too exhausted to even come up with a sensible joke. I just want to lie down and sleep… Oh, or take a bath… Or lie down in the bath…”

“You know, that’s dangerous? Bathtub drownings are more common than you might think. From ten to fifteen percent of all drownings in the United States.”

“I’m ready to take that risk.”

“Well, in that case, someone will have to keep an eye on you.”

As soon as you found yourself almost completely submerged in the water, you sighed in relief. Every muscle in your body ached from the fun at the bachelorette party, especially your calves, exhausted from walking all night in heels. The warmth was soothing. Spencer, though he offered to stay with you, had disappeared for a moment outside the bathroom. With every flutter of your eyelids, you felt a sensation like a rollercoaster ride, spinning at a dizzying speed around its own axis. Each such ride resulted in a wave of nausea, so you refrained from falling asleep and waited for your boyfriend to return.

After a minute or two, he appeared in the doorway with a glass of water.

“You need to drink this,” he said, handing you the cold glass. “Alcohol causes dehydration, which is the main cause of your headache and fatigue. Plus, it flushes out all the toxins. It’s the best thing you can do for a hangover.”

He placed a tiny stool, which was in your bathroom, next to the bathtub and sat down on it. With a foamy hand, you took the glass from him.

“You know what else is good for a hangover?” you asked. “Cold beer.”

“Absolutely not.”

“Well, it was worth a try.” 

For a moment, you both sat in silence, his hand absentmindedly grazing the water, and his chin resting on the edge of the bathtub.

“And now, seriously, how was the bachelorette party? Did you have fun? Did JJ like it?”

“She was surprised we even planned something for her. Though Penelope almost spilled the beans at least twenty times. I had an amazing time, especially when one guy tried to hit on me by saying he worked for the FBI.”

Spencer’s eyebrows shot up in amusement.

“Did he work there?”

“Oh, come on. Anyone who brags about working for the FBI at a club probably doesn’t. “And I already have one handsome agent at home, why would I need another?” you asked, causing him to smile. At the sight, you couldn’t help yourself and wrapped your foam-covered arm around his neck, soaking half of his sweater, just to plant a strong kiss on his cheek. “Not just handsome, but the sweetest and most caring one in the world. What would I do without you?”

He didn’t seem to mind the wet clothes at all, tilting his head to the side and narrowing his eyes with contentment at your words.

“Probably drowned in the bathtub.”

“And also the king of comedy. Okay, the water is already cold, and my fingers are all wrinkled. Could you pass me a towel?” you asked. “And since you’re being so kind, maybe also, I don’t know, lie down with me in bed? Cuddling is good for a hangover too. I read an article about it recently.”

“Really?” he pretended to be surprised, theatrically scratching his chin. He sighed. “Well, if the article says so, I guess we have to do it.”

Okay, maybe your head didn’t stop hurting instantly and the hangover didn’t vanish with a flick of a magic wand, but you felt incomparably better once you were in his arms, resting your head on his warm chest.

“I don’t feel sleepy. Would you like to tell me something?” you asked, lifting your gaze slightly to look at his face.

He seemed almost surprised by the request, but quickly recovered and nodded eagerly.

“Of course. If that’s what you need. What would you like to hear about?”

You shrugged, adjusting your position.

“It could be anything. I just love the sound of your voice.”

You could feel his chest rise in a sigh.

“Alright,” he agreed, his whisper pleasantly tickling the top of your head. “How about...”

You weren’t lying when you said you loved his voice. Though sometimes you apologized for him talking too much, you always encouraged him to do so. You listened to every story, every tidbit, with the same pleasure. Especially when he lowered his tone in such a tender way that it seemed to wrap the air around you both.

And even though you hadn’t felt sleepy from the start, you didn’t even catch the moment when Morpheus invited you to meet him.

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