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nicoline1998enilocin · 5 months

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Sharing our love

PAIRING || Boyfriend!Chris Evans x Girlfriend!Fem!Reader

WORDCOUNT || 1.6K

SUMMARY || You've been dating the famous actor Chris Evans for a few months, and after a soft launch of your relationship, it's finally time for him to announce it to the world.

RATING || Teen (T)

TAGS || RPF. Use of Y/N. Established relationship. Chris is in love.

A/N || This one-shot is based on a request I received from the sweet @cevansbaby-dove! I want to thank @ccbsrmsf1 for the support while I wrote this story and for proofreading it once it was finished. It means the world to me! 🩵

EVENTS Masterlist || @sweetspicybingo || Hand holding

GIF: Source || Graphics are made by @nicoline1998enilocin

Main Masterlist || Chris Evans Masterlist

Today, on your six-month anniversary with the renowned Marvel actor Chris Evans, you're on the brink of a significant milestone- the soft launch of your relationship. The thrill of keeping your love a secret was exciting in the early months, but now, the time has come to share your joy with the world, a moment that fills you with excitement and nervous anticipation.

"Are you ready for me to post it?" Chris asks as you sit on the beach beside him, barefoot and enjoying the beautiful sunset, giving him instructions on editing the photo you decided to use.

"Absolutely," you say as you look at him with a love-filled gaze, your heart beating faster as he smiles while meeting your eyes. Before doing anything else, he puts the phone down in the sand and carefully cups your cheek, his thumb running over the blushing flesh.

"I love you, Bubba," he whispers as he looks deep into your eyes, and you smile at his words.

"I love you too, Chris," you whisper, your voice filled with the depth of your feelings, before letting him capture your lips in a soft, promising kiss that leaves you breathless. This kiss, so full of love and promise, is a testament to the strong emotional connection you share. You feel yourself melting into your boyfriend's touch as he takes the lead, further proof of your deep bond. You two remain in this intimate embrace, sharing more kisses and whispered love confessions until the sun is almost completely gone.

'Weren't you supposed to post that photo by now?' you ask Chris with a playful wink. The photo, a candid shot of the two of you kissing, perfectly captures the joy and love in your relationship. He blushes before quickly grabbing his phone and opening Instagram again, the photo still there as he prepares to post it to his Instagram story.

'One, two, three!' he says as he hits 'post,' before he knows it, the photo is officially uploaded to his Instagram story, ready for the entire world to know about you two. 'There it is,' he says, his voice filled with excitement and nervousness. 'Our soft launch. Are you ready for this, Bubba?' he asks, his eyes searching yours for reassurance.

'I can't wait to see how everyone reacts,' you admit, your voice filled with excitement and apprehension. Chris mirrors your sentiment with a nod, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. The thought of the world knowing about your love is both thrilling and nerve-wracking, but you're ready to face it together.

"Me too, but I feel they're all going to love you, Bubba. Though not as much as I do," he says with a cheeky smile, making you laugh loudly.

The initial reaction from his fans has been overwhelmingly positive, with countless comments expressing love and support. Rumors about who you could be have been swirling, adding an element of mystery to the soft launch. Not even two days after the launch, Chris was invited to a talk show to discuss them, and he happily agreed.

"How're you feeling, Bubba?" Chris asks when you're both backstage. He just got dressed, and his hair is now done before the show while you're seated beside him with your hand in his.

"Nervous but excited," you answer him honestly, your voice trembling slightly. The anticipation is palpable, a mix of fear and exhilaration swirling throughout your belly. A few days ago, no one even knew Chris was in a relationship, to begin with, and today, he's about to share with the world that you two are dating.

"Me too," he tells you before bringing your hand to his mouth and kissing your knuckles softly to calm you down. Your other hand is constantly smoothing the fabric of your outfit , a nervous habit you've had since you were a child, to calm the nerves you're feeling.

"It's going to be okay; everyone will love you," he says, and you nod. After that, it's officially time for you to go and sit in the audience, as it's almost time for Chris to go on stage and talk about it all. Once you've found your seat, you feel like everyone's staring at you, though you realistically know it's not true.

As the anticipation in the room builds, it's finally time for Chris to step onto the stage. The host's voice resonates through the hall, introducing the man of the hour.

"Please give a big round of applause for Captain America himself: Chris Evans!" he says, and a door slides open, revealing Chris on the other side with a broad smile as he waves at everyone, his eyes searching for you. The sound of the applause fills the room, and the bright lights make the stage feel like a spotlight just for him.

However, he's already saying hi to the host before he finds you, leaving him a little sad, but he doesn't show it. Instead, he goes with whatever question he's being asked.

"So, Chris, I think everyone has seen this photo by now," the host says as he holds up the photo of your soft launch. Your boyfriend's expression immediately changes into one of love and pure happiness, and a giant smile appears at the sight of you.

That's when he looks into the audience again, and almost immediately, his eyes cross yours, and he winks to let you know he's found you. A blush creeps onto your cheeks, and your heart skips a beat as he looks away again, but you have never felt happier.

"I can only assume they have, yes! This was taken a few days ago when I was at the beach with the most wonderful woman I've ever met. She's also very loving, kind, and amazing with dogs!" Chris says, making everyone laugh loudly. He nods as he lets the moment sink in with everyone.

"And is there anything else you can share about the lovely woman? Her name, for example?" the host asks. Chris glances your way for one last approval, and you nod reassuringly.

"Her name is Y/N Y/L/N, and I have been very fortunate to call her my girlfriend for the past six months," Chris says proudly before looking over at you again, unable to keep his eyes off you.

"And how did you two meet?"

"It's very simple: Y/N is an amazing private chef - and I'm not just saying this because I love her - and she was cooking a wonderful dinner for my brother, Scott, when he was hosting a party about a year ago. For me, it was love at first sight, and I've never looked back since," Chris tells everyone, and you can't stop smiling.

"And did you bring her with you tonight, or is she watching from home?"

"She's here. Do you want to meet her?" your boyfriend asks, his voice filled with excitement. The entire audience goes wild with his question, giving you the answer. Before you know it, you're being brought on stage, and Chris practically runs over to you as you enter.

"Hi, Bubba," he says as he kisses you in front of everyone without care. Now that everyone knows about the two of you, he wants to show it off as much as possible.

"Hi," you say shyly before Chris interlaces his fingers with yours, leading you to the couch where he was just seated.

"So, you're the famous Y/N? It's very nice to meet you," the host says, and you two exchange a few pleasantries before you get asked a few questions about your relationship with Chris, too.

"How was it to meet Dodger for the first time?"

"It was the cutest thing! When I met Dodger, Chris and I weren't together yet, but we decided to go for a walk on the beach, followed by a picnic for one of our first dates, and he brought Dodger along. While he was a little apprehensive at first, he quickly approved of me, and now we're here!" you tell everyone, and Chris is looking at you with nothing but love as you tell the story.

You glance over at Chris, and he smiles at you, a shimmer of love in his eyes. You couldn't have wished for a happier moment to announce your love to the world.

"I want to thank you both for your time, and this is the ending of our episode! Please give a last round of applause to Chris Evans and Y/N Y/L/N," the host says before officially ending the episode, and you let out a sigh of relief.

"C'mere, Bubba," Chris says as he pulls you into a tight hug in the middle of the stage, his face buried in your hair while your hands rub his back soothingly.

With the secret finally out, a mix of joy and relief washes over you both. The world now knows about your love, and you're ready to face whatever comes your way, hand in hand with Chris.

"I love you so much," you say before standing on your tiptoes to kiss him softly.

"I love you too, Bubba, "Chris whispers, his voice filled with adoration. "And thank you for being here with me tonight. I couldn't have done it without you." He seals his words with a tender kiss, a testament to the love you share, before you both step off the stage and head home.

The reactions to your shared interview have been overwhelmingly positive, and you can't stop scrolling through the responses as you're curled against your boyfriend's side in his bed. That night, you two have some of the best sleep you've endured in a long time now that the hiding is over.

#RPF #sweetspicyhc #chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fanfic #chris evans one shot #chris evans request #chris evans imagine #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans fluff

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femslashrevolution · 15 days

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Femslash Revolution are currently conducting our tag check, where we make sure that our extensive list of F/F ships doesn't have any mistakes or misspellings.

The following fandoms still have a large number of characters in need of checking, so if you're familiar with them, please head over to the Google doc and give us a hand!

American Girl

Baldur's Gate

Battle for Dream Island

Criminal Case

Dangan Ronpa

EverQuest

For All Mankind

Genshin Impact

Harry Potter

House of the Dragon

Inanimate Insanity

Kingsman

Love Live!

Marvel Comics

Miraculous Ladybug

Pathfinder

Rainbow High

RPF Actors

RPF Sports

Netflix The Sandman

The Sex Lives of College Girls

Shortland Street

A Song of Ice and Fire

Star Wars

Stormlight Archive

Total Drama

Transformers

Huge thanks to everyone who has already helped out. We really appreciate any amount of time you can spare!

#femslash revolution #femslashrevolution #lesbian #wlw #femslash #bisexual #girls love #sapphic #mod post

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nickfowlerrr · 1 year

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the seven heavenly virtues: charity, chastity, diligence, humility, kindness, patience, and temperance.

the seven deadly sins: envy, gluttony, greed, lust, pride, sloth, and wrath.

info and guidelines below the cut.

the idea is to pick either a sin or a virtue (or both) to use for your fic, or drabble, or moodboard, etc. you're welcome to pick more than one if you'd like and use them as inspo any way you please.

here's a wheel decide for the sins if you want help choosing. and one for the virtues.

submissions are, of course, open to dark and non dark characters/readers, just please make sure to properly tag your posts.

smut, fluff, angst, all is welcome! and any non writers who want to participate are free to.

moodboards, edits, however you’d like to join in, please do!

this is not limited to only characters that i write for. you can use any marvel character, any sebastian stan character, any henry cavill character, or any chris evans character. and if there's someone in particular you have in mind that isn't included in this, just lmk! i’d be more than happy to have this open to other actors/actresses/fandoms, i just request no RPFs, please. :)

i feel like this goes without saying, but i'll say it anyway, no minors allowed.

18+ only (21+ preferred).

really the only hard limits are involving underage characters/readers. i can't stop you from writing what you want to write, but it will not be included in the masterlist and will not be read or reblogged by me.

no word minimums or limits but please add a "keep reading" break on longer works.

feel free to write for more than one character in a fic if you want, and multiple submissions are fine, too.

the deadline for this is going to be a bit far out because i know i take ages to write lol. deadline will be november 14th, 2023.

you of course can start posting anytime! a masterlist will be made once there are five submissions shared and i will add from there as (if) there are more.

and please tag me in your posts and use the hashtags “#the seven writing event” or “#nickfowlerrr’s writing event” when you upload your submissions.

i don't have a wide reach so i don't see this having much traction lol but i'd love to see what people come up with! so please participate if you feel so inclined. 🖤

this is my first writing event and i feel like i’m missing information so if you have any questions please feel free to send me a message! 🩵

#nickfowlerrr’s writing event #nickfowlerrr #the seven writing event #thesevenwritingevent #writing event #sebastian stan characters #chris evans characters #lee bodecker fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #steve rogers fanfiction #andy barber fanfiction #charles blackwood #god the bounty hunter #lloyd hansen fanfiction #max burnett #nick fowler fanfiction #ransom drysdale fanfiction #steve kemp fanfiction

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fanhackers · 2 months

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Platforms and Fan Experiences

This week, I’ve been thinking a lot about platforms and the way in which they influence fan experiences. As a consistent lurker, I have been on Tumblr for more than a decade, and more recently on Twitter for the past few months, and have been reflecting on my experiences of fandom on both platforms.

In a roundtable discussion published in a tumblr book: platform and cultures, speakers Flourish Klink, Rukmini Pande, Zina Hutton, Lori Morimoto and Allison McCracken discuss the ways in which Tumblr is a very visual platform:

Klink: Tumblr fandoms tend to be much more visual than other fandoms. I often find that this is the most difficult part of Tumblr for people who are not familiar with it. The visual languages in play on Tumblr are as meaningful and complex as any slang or textual interactions on Twitter… Klink, Flourish, Rukmini Pande, Zina Hutton, Lori Morimoto, and Allison McCracken. “A Roundtable Discussion about the Cultures of Fandom on Tumblr.” In A Tumblr Book: Platform and Cultures, edited by Allison McCracken, Alexander Cho, Louisa Stein, and Indira Neill Hoch, 167–80. University of Michigan Press, 2020. http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.3998/mpub.11537055.23.

I find this particularly interesting—and also ironic, in some ways—given that to me, as both a lurker, and a Fandom Old, the draw of Tumblr is that, while it may be a visual platform, it is not necessarily a visible platform, particularly in comparison to Twitter. There’s little chance of the celebrity you’re writing RPF about coming across your racy post or interacting with you directly.

In the same discussion, they go on to talk about the ways in which Tumblr’s visual culture has often led to progressive politics and practices, like race/genderbending.

Hutton: …One of my favorite things about being on Tumblr is seeing the way that members of the fandoms I’ve been in— primarily the DC and Marvel fandoms—reimagine their favorite characters as characters of color and give them queer and gender identities that match theirs. You can see photosets reimagining the Batman family group as more visibly diverse, and fancasts ( fans re-casting roles with actors of their choosing) of Marvel superheroes where they’re portrayed as women of color. And these fancasts generally push back against the idea of whiteness as a perpetual default. Klink, Flourish, Rukmini Pande, Zina Hutton, Lori Morimoto, and Allison McCracken. “A Roundtable Discussion about the Cultures of Fandom on Tumblr.” In A Tumblr Book: Platform and Cultures, edited by Allison McCracken, Alexander Cho, Louisa Stein, and Indira Neill Hoch, 167–80. University of Michigan Press, 2020. http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.3998/mpub.11537055.23.

While Hutton also points out the ways in which a lot of it can turn into clickbait activism, later on in the discussion, without truly engaging with what it means to racebend a character beyond simply making a visual edit, it’s Pande’s comment about interacting with white fans that echoes my own experience:

Pande: When I first came on Tumblr for instance, I mainly followed people I knew from LiveJournal and “Big Name Fans” whose writing I had followed in previous fandoms. This resulted in my Dashboard being filled with almost exclusively white-dude content. In retrospect this is not surprising, but the visual-ness of Tumblr made it particularly apparent, especially post-Racefail at a moment in fandom in 2009–10, when POC fans had started becoming more vocal about this whiteness. Klink, Flourish, Rukmini Pande, Zina Hutton, Lori Morimoto, and Allison McCracken. “A Roundtable Discussion about the Cultures of Fandom on Tumblr.” In A Tumblr Book: Platform and Cultures, edited by Allison McCracken, Alexander Cho, Louisa Stein, and Indira Neill Hoch, 167–80. University of Michigan Press, 2020. http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.3998/mpub.11537055.23.

As a PoC fan myself from the Global South, particularly one that does more lurking than posting, I often find that Tumblr does not always have the kind of linguistic inclusivity or even fandom inclusivity I am looking for. Perhaps it’s that I am a lurker, or perhaps I am not looking in the right spaces. Whatever the reason, I find Twitter has more of that inclusivity; whether I am looking for a fellow Hindi-soap opera fan, or a Supernatural fan, I can find both. And depending on which platform I choose, the content I make/consume differs—not just in form, but also in language and meaning.

What do you think? How has your platform shaped your fandom experience?

#fanhackers #fandom #platforms #twitter #tumblr #roundtable #author: Shayms

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diazsdimples · 5 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @dangerpronebuddie thanks friend!!

How many works do you have on ao3?

13! Will be 18 when I finish all my current wips (should be 19 but one has been abandoned 🥲)

What's your total ao3 word count?

230,841 words

What fandoms do you write for?

Exclusively 9-1-1, mostly because I deleted all my old British Actor RPF fics 😐

Top 5 fics by kudos:

1. Buck's Baby (By Accident) (Buddie)

2. For the rest of my life (for the rest of yours) (Buddie)

3. Sweet child of mine (Bucktommy)

4. In a drought I'll give you water (Buddie)

5. Fucking Finally (Finally Fucking) (Buddie)

Do you respond to comments?

Eventually 😬I try my best!!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of my published fics have a shred of angst. However, Frostpunk AU is full of it so it'll be that

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

All of them?? But probably Sweet child of mine or For the rest of my life (for the rest of yours) for hopeful endings

Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? I did have one person get mad at me for events that transpire in Buck's Baby (By Accident) but idc really

Do you write smut?

No. Never. Smut is terrible.

(This is a blatant lie, 7/13 of my fics are smut and I have 3 wips that have smut)

Craziest crossover?

I don't write crossovers.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

If I have, I'm gonna throw hands

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

Have you co-written a fic before?

Currently co-writing 2 with @hippolotamus and @theotherbuckley!

All time favorite ship?

Buddie. Always Buddie. Will always be Buddie. Followed closely by Bucktommy

What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I really hate to say this but probably my Single Dads AU. She's so beefy and the size of it has scared the hell out of me. As much as I love it, I don't think it gets as much traction as other wips and the beans just haven't been there.

What are your writing strengths?

I honestly don't know, I think I can write smut pretty well? And I'm not bad at cute stuff. The honest truth is I am extremely insecure about my writing abilities and think I'm average at best.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I struggle with dialogue as I often feel like I'm being too OOC. Also descriptions. I spend the most time sitting there thinking of how tf to describe something.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I can google translate pet names and that's where I draw the line. I don't want people to say that I'm saying stuff wrong.

First fandom you wrote in?

Marvel and Sherlock, at the same time.

Favorite fic you've written?

Play me like a fiddle is my labour of love and the fact that it flopped the way it did made me so sad. My next favourite would be You've got me whipped (Brat!Buck BDSM fic) cause it was so out of my comfort zone but I feel like I did it well, or In a drought I'll give you water because I have never been funnier in a fic than in this one.

Tagging (if you wanna): @theotherbuckley @hippolotamus @daffi-990 @watchyourbuck @bidisasterevankinard

@neverevan @aroeddiediaz @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg

@jesuisici33 @wikiangela @loveyouanyway @cal-daisies-and-briars @exhuastedpigeon

@kitteneddiediaz @thekristen999 @actuallyitsellie @loserdiaz @elvensorceress

@underwaterninja13 @rainbow-nerdss @smilingbuckley @spagheddiediaz @steadfastsaturnsrings

@thewolvesof1998

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goldensunflowe-r · 2 years

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Chris Evans Age Gap

Masterlist

#chris evans masterlist #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #chris evans one shot #chris evans headcanon #chris evans fluff #chris evans #chris evans x wife!reader #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans x smut #chris evans fic recs #chris evans fic rec #chris evans imagines #chris evans fic #masterlist #steve rogers #avengers fic rec #chris evans age gap

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buckyarchives · 2 years

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we’re not really strangers | Sebastian Stan [2.]

summery: a broken and washed up writer keeps showing up in Sebastian life as he struggles with his own loneliness. two people in two different world, but the tug is so intense it begins to eat Sebastian raw. he has to learn to love full heartedly and you need to learn to trust again after you got cheated out of your entire life.

word count: 7.5k

warning: therapy sessions, hints of depression and drug abuse, mentions of suicide. past abusive relationships.

authors note: this is so long i’m sorry. and yes, readers backstory is literally just from big eyes shut up

read on AO3 | masterlist

“So.” the tap of a clicking pen filled the air. “Have you been writing recently?”

“I'm not a writer.”

Grace – your therapist – sighs, absolutely done with your shit. She was right to be. “You've written some of the film industry's greatest movies. Just because the world doesn't know that doesn't mean it's not true.”

You more or less glared at her, not a peep leaving you. It was going to drive Grace crazy, you didn't care. Maybe you did. A frown danced on your face, the one you wore usually. Just more annoyed.

“You don't have to be in denial forever.”

You loathed it when she said that. She noticed that you began to fidget with your hands before you realized yourself. She wrote it down, the sound of the pen dancing over her pad taunted you. You've never been an angry person, but it made you want to scream at her. Be the madwoman people expected of you.

“Yes, I have been writing.”

Grace's face lightened. “Good, anything you want to share.”

Your therapist made you talk about your script and stories in the beginning, a way to open up, she said. It was usually the only thing you'd be comfortable enough to speak about. She’d look way into the stories though, so you stopped. Especially after a suicidal main character got you put on 24-hour watch.

“Just practice.” you sighed, avoiding eye contact. “That one script I wrote a year ago is being filmed right now.”

“Which one?”

Here we go.

“The one about the cannibal luring in women through dating.”

Grace hums, nodding her head. Remembering the story you spoke about to her a while ago, she had read the first draft. “Is being deceived and tricked something you can relate to? Is cannibalism a metaphor for being eaten away by your feelings when you lived in LA?”

Told you.

You want to groan, scream and cry at her. Throwing your head back in annoyance and carding a hand through your hair with a heavy sigh.

“It's not that deep, Grace.” you say, “it's just about the horrors of modern dating as a woman.”

Sometimes you wanted to cry when she made these arbitrary assumptions just to tear you down into being a deeper person than you actually wore. It made you feel like a character of your trauma. Which your writing was the whole point, to make that not true.

Because you are not a character in your story. You never were.

“But do you feel that way? the way Miles treated you–”

“can we not—“ you let out a shaky breath, “I thought we agreed on Voldemort.”

That stupid fucking name. You hated when she called him by his name, it felt borderline criminal and it left a metallic taste in your mouth. Flinching at every stranger you met with a similar name.

Grace sighed for probably the millionth time. You didn't care that she sounded disappointed. “You cannot keep ignoring your past and live in denial and delusions. You have to learn to step out of that comfort zone and face it head-on.”

Denial, denial, denial. That word sure came up a lot.

“You are a writer.” she looked you dead in the eye. “Yet you claim not to be, despite that fact you continue to write scripts and let movies be made and go uncredited even after escaping miles. Living paycheck to paycheck from that small cafe.”

You feel small.

“You haven't even touched any of the money miles–”

“Okay, I get it, I get it.”

You wished she would stop talking sometimes. And sometimes you wished you didn't have to go to these stupid therapy sessions every week just so you could leave the state. Not be locked in a hospital and dancing around like a crazy person.

“I need to stop living in denial, I need to get out of my comfort zone. I get it, but stop lashing out at me.” you repeat her words. And you know she's not lashing out, she's doing her job and you shouldn't hate her for it. But you do.

Grace looks down at her notepad again and you swear to any gods above if she starts writing down some stupid observation you were going to–

Thump.

Your eyes watch as the throws the pad to the side and lean in closer to you, studying you. Okay, this is even worse.

“Where is this movie being filmed?”

Your eyebrow quirked up. “Canada, Toronto.”

“You.” she points her perfectly painted finger toward you. “Are going to take a vacation, go to set, hang out, help out. Maybe – and I highly recommend it – give some advice. And I know your director friends would be more than welcome to that idea.”

“I can’t take off work.” you sigh, frustrated. “And I don't have the money to get a ticket and stay that long.”

“Yes, you do.” she quips back.

Sometimes you also forget she has access to see your funds and other things. Another thing you could technically blame Voldemort from. If you're speaking about the domino effect, at least.

Hesitantly, and maybe just so you could leave, “i'll think about it. Okay?”

And you did, maybe you forced yourself to think about it in the begining. But somewhere along swallowing yourself on your couch, mindlessly serving coffee and sandwiches. Staring blankly at your books and scripts. You kept thinking about it, until you couldn’t stop. Then it bothered you.

Sometimes you go onto Hulu, prime, or wherever your movies ended up. It doesn’t matter, you don't have control over them, never have. And you'd look at the credits page for hours, quite literally losing yourself in time. You wondered if you'd ever be strong enough to try and change it, by the time you snap out of it, you come to the conclusion that you aren't. And even if you were, would you win? Highly doubtful.

Swallowing down your medication as you feel the upcoming panic. You don't have time to deal with this. You glance down at the orange bottle again. No– stop that. Idiot.

Glancing back to the semi-empty calendar nailed to the wall. Your fingers dance along the dates and you sigh. Tuesday is therapy, you close the shop on those days. Since you usually come back home in a daze and are completely unable to function normally. You hated that your trauma and illnesses had that much power over you. Made you feel weak.

It was February 14th. Your fingertip fell on the 3rd and found itself on the next page. Around the third week of March. That's how long they'd be filming. You didn't ask Mimi. She invited you down, you hate when your therapist is right. She said they'd have a party. They always have parties while filming.

You tried to convince yourself of an excuse to stay. The regulars would be mad when they find out the shops are closed for over a week. You'd miss your apartment, which was a ffat-out lie. You've been trying to convince yourself you'd like this place since you moved in. no way that is changing now. You have to do therapy on zoom, then Grace said you wouldn't need to speak to her on vacation. That made you want to go.

“Fuck!” you yelled, not sure why. But you did and slammed a hand on the counter out of pure frustration and defeat. You'd never have control over your thoughts anyways.

You went into your room to pack, cursing yourself the entire time. You were only destroying yourself by going. Scared someone would recognize you. Another lie, Mimi doesn't work with anyone he worked with. Fact.

Cursed yourself when you bought a ticket, made a sign that said closed until further notice, and texted Mimi your arrival time. Your hands shook when you went through TSA and tried to put your suitcase in storage. A nice husband of three helped you and you gave him a nervous smile. You took a Xanax and mellowed out until you landed.

You began to hate yourself when you checked into the hotel Mimi said to go to. Hated yourself as you got dressed and called a cab. Started to loathe yourself and contemplate going home on the ride back and your legs shook when you walked onto set.

And then something really weird happened. You saw Sebastian and you suddenly didn't and that made you hate yourself even more but in an entirely different way. Mimi was excited you came and Lauryn was shocked. You predicted their reactions and got them correct.

You met Daisy and didn't tell her who you were, she made a good noa. You didn't tell her that either, even though you felt like you should have. Sebastian looked excited, confused, and shocked you were here. All of those and also a little happy. You hoped he didn't know.

You were glad they didn’t get Chris Pine.

You lurked the entire day, not wanting to intrude on the creative proess. You knew how frustrating that could be. Mimi was a great director and you were happily watching her.

Sebastian. Oh, Sebastian. You spent an alarming amount of time staring at him instead of reading the book you bought. You thought about how he made you feel when you fell asleep on him, how you felt at ease sleeping in your apartment for the first time (and how you had a panic attack about it in the bathroom before he woke up), how you smiled more than you wished when he convinced you to dance to Lana and Faye Webster. And then you thought about avoiding him the same way you did when he came in the shop that second time.

Because he was a normal man that liked old films, the color pink and space. But to almost everyone else – he was Sebastian Stan.

And that's why you have to stay at arm's length.

But then he startled you with two cups of coffee in his hands, giving you one, and tucked in his armpit was the script. He sat next to you and asked about delivery and attitude, asked for advice and your thought process when you wrote this.

You mentioned it, but Lauryn must have said something.

“He’s lighthearted about it, he is sinister but if you take meaning away he's just goofy.” you explain, and he looked at you so intently and listened to you well, you thought about kissing him, but you knew it was just because he was giving you attention. “These are some scenes you don't want to take him so seriously.”

A part of you wanted to yell at him. Tell him you're not a writer, you didn't write this, why are you asking me? Go ask Lauryn. But that's just what you were used to. You've already crossed a weird unspoken line that both of you acted like it was nothing, because it was. You told yourself.

But you let it be and continued to answer his questions.

You didn’t know Sebastian kept lingering just to make you smile, and that he stayed even after he accomplished his goal.

After fleeing to your hotel room, you took a cold shower and cried. You weren't sure why.

You watched Once Upon a Time, “Hat Tricks.” you smiled watching that episode. You weren’t sure why, you didn't like it.

You started to wonder what fuck was wrong with you when you turned on the Covent and went to bed with your hand in your pants.

ding!

please don’t be Mimi asking to come back to set. please don’t be Mimi asking to come back to set. please don’t be Mimi asking to come back to set.

from Mimi Cave: the cast and crew are having drinks at 8, it’d be great if you came by.

For the past couple of days, you made brief appearances on set, and spent most of the time lingering around Toronto like a ghost. you went to see Tom and Jerry in theaters which was so far the highlight of the week. maybe besides talking to Sebastian but you weren’t ready to admit that to yourself yet.

you needed to socialize with people besides cafe workers. Speaking with people in the film industry was scary. Maybe this was for the better. You can imagine Grace speaking in your ear.

chewing on your cheek, you blink at the message and then another one pops up.

from Lauryn: i know mimi just texted you, but you don’t have to go if you're not comfortable.

from Lauryn: try to come later though. less people then, or tomorrow morning we can get brunch.

you sighed heavily. two sides of the same coin. One danced around you while the other was overbearing. It was a good balance but now it was just annoying. It was probably because Mimi came post-miles and Lauryn was there even before him. they both cared though.

to mimi: i’ll try to stop by! send me the address. thanks for the invite.

to lauryn: it’s fine, i need to get out. i’ll be there

setting your phone down before glancing at the time. It was 7 pm now. you had no rush to get there at 8, you didn’t want to get there then. If anything, you’d do what Lauryn suggested.

you stared at yourself in the mirror for a good 10 minutes before deciding to get ready. pulling yourself together and putting on a dress of sorts. it was red - staying on theme with the movies. you paced the hotel for a little, opened Instagram. your therapist told you to stop doing that. your fingers danced across the search bar in a trance, not even realizing he was on your mind.

[imsebastianstan]

clicking the follow button. maybe this was a bad idea—

imsebastianstan requested to follow you.

that was… quick. he should definitely be wrapping up filming and not on his phone, or social media.

Nonetheless, you clicked accept.

you had no post, no highlights. just a name and profile photo. it was from a party a long time ago, some

people are cropped out. but you already got a new message.

imsebastianstan: are you coming tonight?

fuck. now you can't back out. you typed quickly, told him you were. he offered to pick you up, what a gentleman. you declined. told him you already called an uber and Sebastian said to be safe. it made your chest weirdly warm.

the ride to the house was a more mellow version of the journey to Toronto and set for the first time. same feelings just less physical panicking. which was — better.

it was 9 when you got there. too early for your taste but you were already standing in front of the huge house, tall glass windows with warm lights and groups of people. too many people. and Mimi must have already seen you because she ran outside with Daisy close behind, cheeks already warm from the crisp cold.

“what are you waiting for? it’s cold, get inside!” she waved you over and you forced out a thin-lipped smile and entered the door, shrugging your coat off and putting it aside.

and you went through the motions of the party for the most part. Mimi introduced you, Lauryn looked surprised that you came so early. you gave her a reassuring nod and she went back to speaking with whoever. wondering if she went around telling them about your part in the script like you did Sebastian. you looked for Sebastian, he was flirting with some girl — you looked away pretty quickly and found a love chair to nurse a drink and people-watch.

and then time blurred, voices muffled and rang. the clicking of glasses and laughter played in the background like a television. you wondered why you even came.

“y/n?”

everything came back and Sebastian was standing in front of you. a somewhat worried face, you chose not to think about that too much.

“hey,” you replied plainly.

“Hey back.” Sebastian smiled and you caught your eyes lingering on his lips. He sat down next to you, thighs touching. like they did when he spent the night, should you mention that?

“Are you okay?” he asks and it genuinely takes you offguard. You begin to stare at him blankly, almost confused. You don't remember the last someone asked you that, and then you realize you don't even know the answer. It shocks you for a moment.

And there's something so raw about Sebastian that makes it so hard to cover it all up. Be fake. Lie. be happy, pretend. It scares you and you want him far away, but the feeling and warmth of his thigh lining against your envelopes you and makes you feel whole and secure.

“I’m here.” which isn't a lie, but it’s all you can think to say. “which is good enough.”

Sebastian glanced back to the small crowd. He smiles, but it feels forced. You know the look too well. “that you are.” is all he says for a moment, you just nod and tap a nail on your glass. “But, do you want to be?”

No, yes, I'm not sure, I should be, do you?

“I think so.” you settle on.

“You don't sound so sure.”

“Because I'm not.” you sigh.

Sebastian takes one more glance around, checking each and every person and to his surprise and delight – no one is looking at him. He smiles, it's genuine now and you can't begin to understand what he's thinking. It angers you.

A hand grasps around your drink, sets it down and finds its way back to your wrist. “Let's go somewhere else,” Sebastian says with a tease in your voice and he's already getting up, you follow him with no hesitation.

“Where?” you ask abruptly, but Sebastian is already pulling you into the front room. Slipping his shoes on.

“Which ones yours?” Sebastian completely ignores your question. Sights set on getting the hell out and looking through the coats. “This looks like something you'd wear.”

“What? No! I would never wear that.” you sound offended, defensive. and smacking his hand away from the ugly purple coat and go to find yours.

Sebastian just laughs and it catches you off guard because he sounds so perfect. and he’s looking at you, and you're still and scared. you grab the black trench coat and let him drag you out and away from the party.

because between unspoken glances of growing trust and laughter as he fumbles with the keys to the rental car. you think to follow him anywhere. and maybe it was simply to get away from that party and the intense stares toward the random, weird girl in the corner who looks one inconvenience away from shooting herself. or maybe it simply was just — him.

you decided not to think about it too much.

“Do you like musicals?” Sebastian asks unprompted. He looks giddy and has a haze in his eyes. you wondered briefly if he should be driving.

“I like some.”

The question of where he’s taking you is still heavy in your head but the question doesn't seem to leave your lips.

Sebastian tucks lips beneath his teeth to hold back a wild, mischievous grin threatening to grow. He turns up the radio aux and the all-too-familiar sound of Andrew Garfield breaks out. you laugh loudly and Sebastian should probably be watching the road right now, but he’s not.

“I like this movie,” you say, referring to tick-tick boom. before you can begin your unasked criticism of the movie. Sebastian breaks out in an aggressive song and it startles you.

“don’t panic! don’t jump ship! I can't fight it!” Sebastian is screaming at the top of his lungs, literally. He turns to you in the passenger and points at you with his nose scrunched. He looks quite cute. “ —like taxes!”

“oh my god.” you gawk. Sebastian doesn't stop his one-man performance and all you can do it stare in amusement and chuckle quietly to yourself.

he doesn’t stop— no, no, now he’s encouraging you. but you're shaking your head violently but the growing smile says something different and Sebastian knows it. “come on! please!”

you shake your head no again

Sebastian is making an exaggerated frown face and he looks ridiculous.

“If I sing, will you tell me where we are going!”

The car slows and he’s driving on a straight road with almost no other cars in sight. Sebastian leans into your space, you don’t lean away. looked you dead in the eye and nothing matters.

“If you sing, I will make the next three to four hours the best you’ve ever had,” Sebastian says sincerely and calmly. He's too serious to be joking now. you bite back a smile and his eyes go back to the round.

your hand goes to turn up the volume and… here goes nothing.

“Friends are getting fatter! the hair on your head is getting thinner! feel like a cleanup batter, on a team that ain’t a winner.” you sing-shout and Sebastian looks more than pleased.

“don’t freak out! don’t strike out! can't fight it, like city hall!” he sings the next verse.

and then you do, and then he does. and then Sebastian put on grease, you suggest heathers and you duo seventeen. Sebastian is still driving with a grin on his face and you feel lighter.

your face hurts when the car finally stops, you want to think it’s from singing. but Sebastian knows it’s because you were smiling the entire ride.

“are you going to tell me why we’re at a grocery store?” you ask, blinking at the 24-hour large convenience store.

“I didn’t want to say anything to Mimi, but her car-cuter boards were not doing it for me.'' Sebastian gets out of the door and slams it shut, it makes you flinch slightly. you hoped he doesn't notice, especially as you linger in the passenger seat. He does, he looks back through the windshield and his giddy smile fades.

Sebastian mouths ‘are you coming?’ and you wonder if you should pretend you couldn’t read lips but it would make no difference. exhale, you open up the door and find your place next to him as you walk through the sliding doors.

the bright fluorescent lights hurt your eyes when you walk in, especially the one above the bathroom that is flickering.

“what’s the weirdest food combo you enjoy?” Sebastian asks. his eyes glance around the store eagerly. you know the look, he looks satisfied when he realizes it’s almost empty, aside from the old lady in the fruits second. the teenage worker. and some woman with 5 pregnancy tests in her hands and one pack of mints.

truly the almost midnight shopping experience.

“weirdest? that I enjoy…” you hum, “cottage cheese and Fritos.”

“that so weak!” he teases and it almost tugs out a smile, matching the one on his that reached his eyes and made the blue look brighter. you turn away trying not to stare or drown in them.

“okay, uhhh… sanyang noodle sauce and watermelon.”

Sebastian hums for a moment, thinking. “that might sound good.” he nods, “what about strawberries and mayo?”

your eyebrows furrow, “that sounds like a pregnancy craving? Are you pregnant, Sebastian?”

he laughs and reaches his eyes once again and a weird sense of pride swells in your chest. Sebastian stops in front of the produce and grabs a small thing of strawberries.

“no, but I’m going to make you try it.” he says.

you let out a breathy laugh, a poor excuse for one anyways. Sebastian's eyes linger on your face, waiting for you to smile. you don’t.

“Is this what we are doing? getting weird food combos?”

“if you want to, get whatever — I’ll pay.”

“That's good enough for me.” and say and grab the cubed watermelon in front of you.

and then you separate for a brief period. Each strolling the aisle of the small store, the bright lights still bothered you. for a moment, you could hear Sebastian humming while he stood on the other side of the shelves. you got caught up in it and ended up staring at a bag of hot onion rings.

so much you didn’t realize Sebastian was now next to you.

“you gonna get those? or just stare at them?” he asked, surprising you. you blinked rapidly as you fell back to reality.

as awkward as ever, you faked a laugh and grabbed them. “I’m getting them,” you were glad you actually like these. “just thinking.”

Sebastian hummed. He knew the look of spacing off until you dissociated well. He chose not to tease you for it.

turning towards the man, Sebastian held an entire chocolate cheesecake and cotton candy grapes. In truth, Sebastian didn’t like cotton candy grapes. mostly grabbing them for shits and giggles, but the smile that grew on your face made him even happier for grabbing them.

you quickly bit back the smile, “those are my favorites.”

Sebastian could have guessed.

“So you're saying if a dashingly handsome man offered you cotton candy grapes, you’d end up like noa?” Sebastian teased.

“maybe, not sure if i’d ever date a doctor though.”

“interesting.”

you walked side by side, your steps were the only noise between you two as you headed for the register. self checkout. you offered to pay, because you’re nice. Sebastian refused and said it was payback for the free coffee.

maybe you shouldn’t be looking at him like you are now. eye focused as he casually wore a small smile, the snacks beeped as he scanned them.

It was so stupid, he was doing something so normal and casual. you barely knew him and you were looking at him with love-sick eyes. Because to you, he looked so good, doing something so normal and maybe you should sit down and really think about your next actions. but you don’t, and you continue to stare and Sebastian notices.

“let’s go-“ he looks up to you, stopping his words when he realizes you were already looking. you feel in a trance when he stares back, with the same feeling in his blue orbs. but you barely know him.

you both snap out of it and start to walk back to the car.

The cold Canadian air hits you, sending a breeze through your hair. Sebastian sees you through the corner of his eye, it makes him smile for some reason. He feels young, like a teenager gazing at a crush in the hallway.

“I wonder what would have happened if we met 10-20 years ago.” Sebastian laughs, such a random question to you.

you hum, “I don’t know.”

Sebastian stares at you from across the car, his fingers graze over the handle and you’re cold. but the door is locked. as serious as ever, like his words wouldn’t knock you to your feet, Sebastian says; “I’d probably ask you on a date, I was really cocky back then because of gossip girl.” he laughs.

you gulp, anxiously waiting for him to unlock the door so you could get in and escape his eye contact.

“And I would decline, because I’d be married to someone else.”

Sebastian’s face falls, only for a moment before he forces out a pursed smile. It doesn't look real and maybe Sebastian isn’t that good of an actor in real life. “and you’d be married. I didn’t know you were married.”

“I know. not anymore.” you say. not like you try to hide it from literally everyone you meet now. Sebastian doesn't know though: and it’s refreshing. but now he’s going to ask about it and you prepare for that speech.

Sebastian unlocks the door.

The ride is a lot more silent now, you enjoy it while it lasts and watch the orange dew when Sebastian drives through the tunnel. you forget to ask where you were going until Sebastian stopped in front of an empty park.

“a park? at night?”

“Absolutely.” he says and he looks so sure of himself, grabbing the bags of food and you can’t help but follow him. you don’t even think about it.

it’s unspoken, and a trust that you don’t recognize in yourself. but you silently follow Sebastian's actions, almost till their own and you two move with the same mind and ideas.

and Sebastian brought a blanket because he just so happened to have one in the car. it’s cold but neither of you care. Sebastian laying on his back with his chest rising slowly, your sit crisscrossed and started going through the bag of snacks as Sebastian switched from gazing at the stars and your stone-like features. you’re so beautiful and Sebastian is so smitten.

“okay,” he sits up abruptly, “mayo and strawberries time, come on.”

He had a Cheshire grin on his face as he shook the mayo bottle. you shake your head, “mhm, no. I hate mayo.”

“I’m serious, you have to try it.” he’s smilesto himself as he squeezes the mayo onto the strawberry and you visually recoil.

“no, absolutely not.” you continue to shake your head.

but Sebastian Stan is Sebastian Stan and he flashes that smile and the moons reflect off his eyes and he’s smiling at you. at you.

“one bite and you can ask me any questions you’d like.” he offers, “anything. no boundaries.”

interesting.

“and you have to try the watermelon.”

he smiles because he knows he’s won. “I'll eat the watermelon if I can ask you one big question.”

you know what the question is, but Sebastian is gazing into your eyes like nothing's wrong. no one has hurt you and you feel warm and young. his blue iris takes you over and it cleans your soul, and he is looking at you.

with a quick roll of the eyes, you agree and Sebastian shoves the berry in your mouth. and sometimes you wish you’d listen to your head more than your heart; especially now.

“ew!” you yell, it comes out muffled because Sebastian put the entire berry in your mouth unprompted, stem and all. you fold into yourself as you search for a napkin to spit it out. “I should have never listened to you! oh my god, that was horrible.”

Sebastian breaks out into laughter as he watches your face scrunch up in disgust, he hands you a napkin and you throw the mushy mayo-strawberry to the side.

“Man, I gotta think of a horrible question.” you snark.

“Try me.” he says, testing the waters.

this feels oddly like the first night he met, maybe he shouldn’t be letting you do this. Maybe he’ll say something wrong again. knowing himself, he probably will.

you can’t look at him, you plop down and stare at the stars and hope he follows. Sebastian does.

“Do you actually like being an actor?”

Sebastian’s quick and ready junket or movie premiere answer is on the tip of his tongue and then he realizes. It's an empty park, night and stars shining down on him and he’s alone. alone with you. you're beside him and he can feel your warmth. Sebastian had to think of a new answer, it puzzles him.

he fully thought you’d ask something embarrassing of him. like it’s not already on some podcast or interview. Sometimes he regrets when he says those vulnerable and knowing things about himself. It's like giving a piece of himself to the world. in exchange: he’s not sure.

“Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t.” he exhales and it’s the only thing he can think of. “recently though; I’ve been liking it a lot less.”

you hum, so he knows you’re listening and you understand and you urge him to keep going. because the weight in his words makes you feel like it’s been bottled up and he’s letting his thoughts out barely, one by one.

“You know, sometimes it just feels like I’m not me. like I'm made up of things people think of me, and it’s hard to differentiate from that.”

he sighs, his chest feels heavy. “i guess I’m just tired of people picking me apart.”

“amen.” you attempt to joke and it leaves Sebastian off guard. but it’s not bad, he chuckles under his breath and you have a small, tiny smile on your face.

It's silent for a while, but it's okay. It's comforting and domestic and it reminds you of the morning Sebastian slept over. But you also know what’s about to come and you decide to just accept it because Sebastian is already asking the question he did before.

“I’m taking my questions now,” he says. “be honest this time. the real you, what broke you?”

the real you. you would never understand, Sebastian Stan.

you decide to go slow, and asses if you’ve been deceived and are stomping on enemy territory.

“Do you know Mile Franco?” the words come out and you don’t recognize your own voice, you feel dirty and slimy.

Sebastian's confusion shows heavily on his face, even if you can’t see it - you hear it in his words.

“the director? yeah. I auditioned to be in like 3 of his movies.”

you barely realize the words leave your lips until the awkward and painful silence follows after, the words rush out so quick you maybe hope Sebastian doesn't understand you.

“he’s my ex-husband. and he’s stolen every single one of those movies from me.”

your mind flashes to the metal ring that you used to wear with pride. the days you were trapped in those multi-million dollar hollywood houses, for literally weeks. you thought you were being loved as you gave the man your scripts and story and directorial work and talent for free. in exchange for what?: a few suicide attempts, trust issues, a 10 million dollar settlement, and a stolen Oscar for director of the year as the one thing to say “fuck you” to him. even if he had endless awards that should have your name on the plate

“Oh.” is all Sebastian can say and your sure you’ve fucked up. and he’s a secret die hard fan of his and he’s fawned over miles at award shows you should've been to, but you always found out he got invited after the red carpet and it was too late. you watch him accept your awards on the television.

“I met him fresh into film school. I graduated high school early so I was only 17. I had nothing to my name at the time” you exhale a shaky breath. “we were married for 13 years, it took 2 hospital trips for me to leave him. I took him to court for the rights - lost - and got settlement money instead.”

Sebastian feels his mouth go dry when he listens to you. abruptly sitting up, making you flinch as he looks down at you. anger, confusion, disgust, nervousness: you couldn’t tell but his face flared up with emotions as he furrowed his eyebrows.

“so all of his movies… you wrote? like all of them?”

“yes.” it comes out strangled and more like a croak.

Sebastian is processing what that all means to you for, for the film industry and himself. He loved his movie and admired him. Sebastian can only think to joke about it and also make a pathetic, desperate attempt to make you feel better.

“That explains why his movies have been really bad recently.” he scoffs and you actually laugh. Sebastian wants you to feel better.

“I guess.” you sigh. sitting up next to him.

Sebastian always knows how to push everything slightly over the edge and despite how much he’s talking himself from doing that with you. mysterious, mysterious girl. He can’t help himself and he begins to tread in unfamiliar territory.

“you’re divorced, away from him. So why do you continue to write movies and go uncredited?”

you breathe in. ready to give your avoidance-type answer you’d give Grace or change the subject. but Sebastian's looking at you and he looks caring and trusting and he’s not your therapist. you wonder what is wrong with you and if you should run and hide that this will be another Miles.

“I feel like they have this idea that when someone goes through something like I did, they’re supposed to blossom and take control and gain that power back.” you sigh, the continuous trope you see in the media that tire your back: because it’s not you, and you feel like a fraud. “But that’s not me, because I got pushed into that comfortable zone of being in the shadows despite the fact it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I know nothing else.”

Sebastian doesn't say anything. He doesn't know what to say and for once — the silence makes you uncomfortable. a light-hearted scoff leaves you, “and the reasons you don’t want to be an actor are the reason I don’t want that fame.”

“makes sense.” Sebastian says. he knows deep down that despite the fire brewing in the bottom of his stomach that feels betrayed for you. He doesn't act, you wear your stubbornness on your shoulder and Sebastian knows that no amount of cotton candy grapes will make you have a sudden epiphany tonight.

but he also knows the pent-up emotions of being silenced and talked over, and giving up trying anything else.

“get up.” Sebastian speaks softly, your eyes glance at him.

“What?” The smile on Sebastian's face confused you more. slowly, you rose up and went straight next to him. short-lived when Sebastian grasps your hand and jerks you up an empty field around the park, stumbling over your feet as he guides you to the top of the hill.

“okay, and stand here.” Sebastian still hasn't answered your questions, you were sensing a pattern. but you obey and stand directly next to him. you stare down the hill, you feel taller.

“Sebastian? what are you doing?”

“do you trust me?” he asked plainly, a tease at the end of his words that caused your lip to quirk up slightly. it’s getting too easy for him to do this.

“I barely know you.”

“You know more than most.” Sebastian breathes out and quickly faces the sky again. “Now, breathe.”

you inhale slowly and exhale, your chest rises and you wonder why you trust him. you probably shouldn’t.

“scream,”

“what?”

“scream, scream as loud as you want, scream at the stars, scream at the clouds, scream at the world. just scream until you feel better.”

Sebastian finished and you look and see a solemn smile on his face. “You're crazy.”

“do it.”

you turn to the stars, keep your mouth shut. an invisible latch on it that’s stopped you from this for years - decades. You can’t help but wonder how often Sebastian does this and if his therapist told him to do this. Does he even go to therapy? probably not.

before you can even muster up anything to scream about, a deep and loud yell startles you. Sebastian begins screaming his head off and you're laughing suddenly, you don’t know why but you are.

“Come on.” he encourages, slightly disappointed that you didn’t join straight away. but Sebastian is good at pushing, and you need a lot of it.

“There's something about you, Sebastian Stan” you whisper enough for him to hear, it mixes in with the soft sounds of the wind.

“scream or I’ll cry myself to sleep.” Sebastian deadpans.

“This is manipulation.”

Sebastian just smiles and turns back around and screams, again. loud but you don’t flinch this time. playfully you roll your eyes, gulping down all your anxieties and you really hope the dam doesn't break fully and you end up crying. you scream, loud and shrill but Sebastian hears the pain in it and is proud you're letting at least a little bit of it out.

it died down and faded into belly laughter, Sebastian clutched his stomach and curled into himself. a wide Cheshire grin that matched yours now.

“I hope no one calls the cops on us,” he mentions through waves of laughter.

“Just name drop, we’ll be fine.” you wave him off and don’t notice that he’s staring at you with a glint in his eyes that are highlighted by the stars and moon. He looks gorgeous, only if you could see it. you’d know how love sick he was growing.

Sebastian's laughter subdued and he glanced from you and the large hill. an idea pops into his head and for a moment he wonders if he’s pushing too far, but it is forgotten when he goes to grab your hand.

“Now we roll!” he yells out, a childish grin on his face. you whip your head towards him and his hand that holds yours. he is so warm, you feel a sense of comfort in your chest.

“What?!”

and you’re rolling, Sebastian pulls you down and your face is met with wet grass. but you can’t help but just laugh some more when you find yourself at the bottom and in Sebastian’s arms. you're not bothered by the sudden closeness, you feel you should be.

“you’re a horrible influence, look at my hair!” you point out.

“Your hair looks great.” Sebastian says, one hand on your waist and the other patting any fly away or grass in your hair away.

his eyes glance to your lips, and you notice that. you feel your heart beating faster and you wonder if Sebastian can hear it too. with Sebastian so close, chest to chest, you're sure he can.

“you going to throw me off or…?” you gulp.

Sebastian just shakes his head, his iris glancing at every single detail of your face. “nope.”

“Oh.”

not to be cliche, but the world feels like it’s stopped. the quietest sound of Sebastian thumb grazing against your skin, the wind stops blowing through the grass and leaves and it’s just you and him.

“I hope I'm not misreading the situation…” Sebastian alludes, slowly closing the distance between you two.

“you’re not.” you breath out and barely a second later his lips are on yours.

it’s wrong, everything about this is wrong. you feel the rise of doom in your stomach. but he’s warm and soft against your lips and your heart says something different because it feels so right. he feels like the first drink on a night out, you know tomorrow will be hell but you couldn’t stop yourself because he feels so good.

Sebastian's tongue swipes across your lips and his hands grasp tighter on your hip and back. He flips you over gently, his knee is in between your thighs but it’s not sexual. He kisses you gently and fully, he doesn't tease and takes his time. you feel the grass beside your head and it pricks at your skin, but it doesn't bother you.

a small sound comes from each of your lips, a moan even. it’s not hungry or asking for more, you feel full and content. Sebastian isn’t looking for your body or making this kiss feel like some milestone to be advanced after.

but then he pulls back and you feel empty, it’s so confusing — you hate it.

“was that too much?” he asks, still so giddy and head high from having you against him.

“not at all. thank you.”

a moment of silence, it’s not uncomfortable or ungiving, but you pull away and Sebastian crawls off you. rising to his feet and lending you a hand. you check your phone, it’s late - way late.

“I think I should be getting back.” you sigh, this feels like the end of a movie. reality hits you tomorrow and you feel the high calm down, oh how will you replace it?

Sebastian looks a little disappointed, but he attempts a face for you to not see it. “Okay, I’ll drive you.”

He pulls you by the hand again and for the last time that night, you sit in his passenger seat and continue to listen to whatever’s on the radio. small and meaningless chatter, about movies and television. specifically horror for a while. Sebastian doesn’t like horror which shocks you. but he also makes fun of you for the fact your favorite movie is Rocky and mayday.

you watch him when he smiles and frowns or when he does that thing where he pokes his tongue on the side of his cheek, you deny to yourself that you think it’s hot. warm and orange lights from driving through a tunnel show on his face and your brain instantly thinks you want to make a movie with orange color grading, with Sebastian as the leading man. probably something depressing.

The thought of being in love with Sebastian plagues your mind for a moment, and you wonder if this is what it would feel like.

and you hate the feeling even more when he drops you off at the hotel and you're left alone again with nothing but your thoughts. you long to see him again and it scares you.

the orange bottle in your bag taunts you, you can’t help it. old habits die hard.

#sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan x ofc #seb stan #sebastian stan rpf #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x fluff #rpf #actor rpf #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #marvel #fresh

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be-compromised · 3 months

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One Prompt Challenge

As a warm up for promptathon, this is a an 'everyone writes a fill for the same prompt' challenge suggested by @iriel3000 on the discord chat. A number of prompts were suggested and voted on, but the winner is a tie so you actually get TWO prompts: 'rooftop' and 'time travel'.

TIMELINE: from now until midnight (whatever your timezone) Friday 26 July. (You can absolutely still play after this date, but you won't be included in a masterlist after this date and then the big summer promptathon will arrive!)

HOW TO PLAY:

Write a fic / create an artwork of any kind that uses 'rooftop' AND 'time travel' as prompts. You can include the actual words or interpret them however you like. The fun of this challenge is going to be seeing what we all come up with.

As we’re a Clintasha (Clint Barton/Natasha Romanoff) community, so we’d also like Clint and/or Natasha to show up in your fill somewhere, but what that means is up to you - individually or as friends, lovers, spouses, partners, gen fic, ANYTHING. We welcome other characters and pairings (and threesomes or moresomes), and all things Marvel, and crossovers.

Reply to this dreamwidth post with your fill OR a link to your fill including: a title, rating (ie AO3 or film rating), and any warnings OR 'choose not to warn' (ie AO3 warnings).

You can post your entire fanwork in a comment if it’s short enough or you can post your fanwork anywhere else on the internet, just please share a link in a comment to this post! This makes it easier for people to find all fills during the event and makes it a LOT easier for your mods to create a masterlist at the end, without missing any of your fills.

There’s no length requirement on fanworks submitted. You can create drabbles or epics, vids, art, fanmixes, anything at all; it’s just all about getting creative! Fills do not have to be complete or completed during promptathon. You can fill this prompt / take part in this challenge as many times as you like.

We absolute welcome chat, squee, comments, cheerleading, and conversation as well as fills and about fills :)

GENERAL RULES

Our Community Rules apply to this event: > No character or ship bashing. This is a positive fandom space. > No plagiarism or use of AI. (We value YOUR creativity and effort.) > Please no RPF (Real Person Fanfiction) or any gossip/speculation about actors’ off-screen non-work lives, as the primary focus of this community is fictional characters. > Please including a rating for fanworks and a warning OR choose not to warn. > Be kind and have fun!

If you have any questions please feel free to ask! The easiest way is to use the ‘Questions / Comments / Squee’ thread, which is in the first comment to this post, or ask on the Discord server. Your mods are inkvoices, CloudAltas aka franztastisch, and gsparkle.

#prompt challenge #writing challenge #be_compromised #clint barton #natasha romanoff #hawkeye #black widow #clintasha

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impala-dreamer · 9 months

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~ Rebekah Jordan's Commission Info for 2024 ~

Have you ever had a dream that you wish you could save and relive over and over again? A story idea that you simply cannot flesh out or find anything that comes close to your idea already written? Have you always wanted to see Yourself Actually in a story? Have you searched and searched for a good story focused around your out-of-the-way kink and it just does not exist? - I can help.

Come chat with me and I will help your fictional dream come true! Or, at the very least, committed to paper in an amazingly written story that you will adore.

Read on for more info, and please reblog to spread the word :)

How does it work?

You send me a message and we discuss what type of story you’d like. If I think I can do it properly for you- it’s a go!

You provide details about the character (you, someone else, multiples). Stories can be OFC, Actual People, or Reader Insert.

You leave me alone for a little while and when I return, you’ll get a PDF file of your fic (usually including custom art) emailed right to you!

What fandoms are you writing for lately?

Any fandom can be negotiated provided I am familiar with it and feel like I would do the details justice. Ex: I’ve watched football, but I’m not going write a great football story because I just don’t get it. ;)

Fandoms I have written for and am comfy with:

Supernatural, Supernatural RPF (Mostly all ships and characters/actors)

The Boys, The Boys RPF

The Walking Dead, TWD RPF (Rick, Negan, Daryl)

Marvel (Cap, Bucky, Sam Wilson), Marvel RPF (Evans & Stan)

Criminal Minds

The Hunger Games

The Magicians (All Characters and Ships)

The Winchesters, The Winchesters RPF

Daisy Jones & The Six (Billy Dunne)

Random RPF Actors/Singers

What Kind of Story Can You Do?

Anything. No, wait. I’m afraid you don’t believe me. I mean… ANY T H I N G. You want hardcore smut that boarders on problematic? I’m in. You want the fluffiest fluff that ever fluffed and would make Hallmark movies cringe? I got you. Angst? Dark stuff? General? Literally Anything you want. I only have one or two things I’m not comfortable with but that can all be discussed in private, and honestly, after 8 years doing this, no one’s ever come close to asking for them so you’re 1000% good to ask for whatever.

What’s the bottom line here?

Well, your story, which will be anywhere from 1,000 - 10,000 words depending on how wordy I get, will be a flat rate of $25. This includes my full attention to your story from start to finish, accompanying art, specific detail inclusion, and an emailed PDF file that you can print out or delete, or whatever you want. It’s yours.

I do not write for word counts, only for the story. If your complete story can be told in 1k words, that’s great. If it takes another 40,000 and we end up with a novel, we can discuss a little extra depending on how far we go! If you'd like a series... let's start at $30 and see what happens! I’m more worried about giving you the best story I can than worrying about word counts.

Commissions are not limited to type or fandom. It costs nothing to ask, and the worst I can say is "sorry, I can't write that".

If you'd like to discuss an idea that is NOT specifically fandom related, I'm open to that as well!

If you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I’m not scary.

You can also check out my Tumblr Masterlist for examples of my work incase you’re unsure. And… just a reminder, Patrons get a discount!

#open commissions #writing #fiction #custom stories #info #2024 commissions

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astheskycries · 11 days

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Well friends… It’s time

It’s been… A long time since I’ve tried hopping back into things. Even a month ago I was so optimistic about writing and posting, and our little event days, and to be honest a lot of what was being posted were written several years ago that I’d been working on trying to expand on (with some exceptions, of course). Now that I’m back to needing ideas there are some things I want to do and change not just for myself, but for my oen creativity and for being able to write the stories I’ve been too self-conscious to tell because of my own insecurity.

There will still be a one shot or mini series to complete Johnny and Kitten’s story- to be determined by when I get the general plot drafted and expanded- and I fully intend to outline Steve and Maggie’s story post-Accepted as promised.

Since that’s my OCs handled, I want to kind of touch on something that’s been bugging me personally with my writing … I am no longer planning to write original characters for stories outside of Burn and the promised Protected updates. I’d already started and became invested in some series when I first got into Marvel from other fandoms, and now that I’m older I really want to be as inclusive as possible. I know as a very pale white woman I won’t have the same personal understanding as others, but I want my writing to be enjoyable for everyone and allow others to be able to imagine themselves in the stories.

I’m also limiting (to a point) RPF. I know some people have RPF to where it’s essentially a face claim for a character and therefore not really the actor, and that I’m absolutely fine with, but anything involving dating them as themselves makes me feel… icky. Like I invaded someone’s personal space. Of course the AUs are fine, but I’ll be writing for characters only. I think this will make things a bit easier and more private for everyone.

I hope you all understand and are as excited as I am to get some new content and explore some new ideas ❤️

#tori talks #writing update #shut up tori

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rainbowsuitcase · 9 months

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*Bucky Barnes voice* Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?

Say you have a fandom around a movie/tv show franchise. Like... Fast and the Furious or Pirates of the Caribbean or Supernatural, etc. (I'd include Marvel and Stuff, but for the sake of keeping it simple, I want to talk about things that exist only on the tv screen)

Say you ship two characters from that franchise, as you do, and write a fanfic about them. Or a better example, you make a fanart. Say that fanart is like a modern AU, the two characters completely removed from their canon setting if it's something sci-fi/fantasy.

Say you've just drawn... for example, Dean and Castiel sitting in a restaurant, dressed up in suits, holding hands and having dinner. Or something.

But technically, you've just drawn Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins having dinner in a restaurant, because you're drawing characters who look exactly like them, in a realistic setting where the two actors could totally exist.

So technically, what's the difference between that and an actual RPF fanart of Jensen and Misha?

(Again, this is purely hypothetical, I don't have a strong opinion here, I don't have a problem with RPF, please don't try to start an argument here, because this is not meant to be one. I'm just thinking.)

#log #fandom #rpf #supernatural #marvel #destiel #jensen ackles #misha collins #fandom culture #fanart #ao3 #fanfiction #does this make sense to anyone

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whatstruthgottodowithit · 1 year

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Here You Come Again [Epilogue]

Fandom: Elvis Presley, RPF, American Actor

Pairing: Elvis Presley × Original Female Character

Characters: Elvis Presley, Addison Goodwin, Original Female Characters, Priscilla Presley, Colonel Tom Parker, Vernon Presley, Gladys Presley, Minnie Mae Presley, Marci Cunningham, Jerry Schilling, Red West, Sonny West, Marty Lacker, Joe Esposito, Charlie Hodge, Lamar Fike, Alan Fortas, George Klein, Memphis Mafia

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 3120

Summary: When Addison Goodwin was seventeen years old her life was turned inside out after a chance encounter with her past.

Now, fifteen years later her life is the best it's ever been. She has a home, a good job and a daughter she loves more than anything in the world but will all that remain when an old familiar face rolls into town.

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Graceland, Las Vegas, The International Hotel, Elvis In Vegas, 1970s, 1970s Elvis, Friends To Lovers, Rekindled Romance, Parenting, Time Line is Sketchy, Guilt, Betrayal, Teenage Pregnancy, Hawaii, Hidden Pregnancy, Jealousy, Sex, Absence of Parent, Single Motherhood, Trauma, Oral Sex, Tension

Notes: Well here it is the end of the series! I have absolutely loved writing this and I have loved how much you have loved reading it! So much so that even though my second part of the series is done I intend to keep writing for Addie and Elvis as there’s more to this story I wanna explore. So if there’s anything you want to see at any part of the timeline feel free to ask me! 💕

LINK TO ALL PARTS // LINK TO A03 // LINK TO PINTEREST

Addison stared at the baby in her arms, marvelling at how his long lashes danced along his plump cheeks before fluttering open, his sleepy blue eyes meeting hers as he stared up at her. He wriggled, offering her a yawn before his mouth fell into a toothless grin which she elected to believe was a similar feeling of adoration rather than gas.

‘That’s it,’ she smiled, ‘I’m in love.’

‘He is pretty cute,’ Elvis chuckled as he slipped onto the chair arm beside her offering his finger to the boy in his wife’s arms who took it, all five of his tiny fingers wrapping around his large one as he curled it under a slightly drool dampened chin. He didn’t really do babies, the last one he’d been around being his own daughter, but he couldn’t deny that the little boy in front of him was quite a cutie though he figured that was more to do with Marci’s looks than her husbands.

‘Isn’t he?’ Addison cooed, ‘look at those eyes. His little fingers. Oh E, he’s so cute.’

‘Almost makes you wanna do it all over again doesn’t it?’ Elvis chuckled leaning in to press a kiss on her temple. His words took her by surprise but she took it in her stride as she looked up at him, an eyebrow raised as she said, ‘oh yeah? Reckon you’re up to the job sailor?’

‘I think I could give it the old college try,’ Elvis said, his signature smirk splayed across his face as his hand moved to dance along the back of her neck causing a shiver to run down her spine so much so that she had to deflect that feeling by teasing him.

‘I don’t know,’ she mused smiling as he eyed her closely, ‘you are getting up there.’

‘Jerrys just had a baby,’ he countered making her smirk that he’d took her bait.

‘Jerrys seven years younger than you,’ Addison quipped.

‘You don’t think I could?’ he said his fingers tracing the back of her neck as she shrugged before he leaned in, his bright blue eyes darkening as he said, ‘maybe I’ll just have to show ya then.’

Addison was going to retort, match his banter toe for toe like she normally did, but her quipping was cut short as she heard a repulsed grumble from the couch next to them and found Lisa watching them with disgust as she said, ‘ugh you two are disgusting.’

‘Oh come on button head you should be thankful we’re still interested in one another,’ Elvis chuckled which grew louder as Lisa’s face grew more annoyed at the nickname. It had been something she had been insisting Elvis stopped calling her given she was nearly in double figures though given she’d spent years tormenting him with her own play on his moniker he had yet to yield to her wants.

‘No she’s right,’ Jess said as she joined her sister’s protests, ‘you two are disgusting.’

‘Oh calm down you two it’s not as though we’re serious,’ Addison said rolling her eyes as she shuffled the now wriggling baby into an upright position, his head nestling onto the shoulder opposite Elvis as he settled back to sleep.

‘We aren’t?’ Elvis asked though it escaped his lips without him meaning to. He hadn’t been serious, not initially, but seeing the way she handled the little bundle of joy in her arms had made something flutter inside him in a way he hadn’t felt before.

He watched as shock danced across her features though it was pushed away quickly as she took a deep breath and said, ‘well of course not? I mean I don’t know how you guys are handling it!’

‘At our old age you mean,’ Marci giggled from where she was sitting next to Jess and Addison thanked God she could look towards them instead of at Elvis who’s gaze she could feel watching her. She hadn’t anticipated him bringing up them having a baby and she certainly didn’t want to discuss it in front of anyone, so she clung to Marci’s offered sentiments and replied, ‘oh you know what I mean! I mean it was hard enough at seventeen and that was when I didn’t get tired at eight pm.’

‘Why do ya think we’ve invited you two to stay?’ Jerry smirked.

‘Oh don’t worry we’ll happy to help as much as we can,’ she said looking to Elvis who still appeared to be in his thoughts though he pulled out of them as she said, ‘right E?’

‘Do I have a choice?’ he teased making her roll her eyes.

‘Hey now,’ Marci chuckled, ‘that’s no way for a God father to act, is it?’

‘I’m God father?’ Elvis asked looking at Jerry as he moved to put his hand on Marci’s shoulder. It made his heart swell and it was enough to pull him out of the funk he had been falling into.

‘Like we’d ask anyone else but you two,’ Jerry said.

‘Thanks man,’ Elvis said moving to hug each of them in turn as Addison offered them a smile, choosing to remain seated so that her newborn godson wouldn’t disturb.

After the celebrations were offered out the day continued on at a relaxing pace. Whilst the girls fussed and fawned over the baby Elvis spent some time with his friend, assuring the new father about all of the worries he’d been too nervous to broach with anyone else. He didn’t need much convincing after all he’d been the one to get Elvis through his early steps of fatherhood himself and took care of his girls better than most blood-relatives ever could. Still as he thought about his friend embarking on this new chapter of his life he couldn’t help but think of the many chapters in his own, wondering if their next one might include their own bundle of joy.

It hadn’t been something they’d discussed. It had been hard enough to get to where they were today and the pair of them just seemed content with their family as it is. Yet he couldn’t help but wonder. He couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel to share that with Addison, the way he hadn’t gotten to last time. He was still pondering it when he came into the guest bedroom finding Addison just finishing getting changed.

‘Hey,’ she said as he came into the room moving towards her in an instant as he wrapped his arms around her watching her face break into a smile as he nuzzled into her neck, the scent of her freshly spritzed perfume tickling his nostrils.

‘Hi,’ he said, feeling as though he had barely seen her in weeks though it had been less than an hour. As her hands rested on top of his arms he revelled in the feel of her. Lisa had been right to be disgusted. The way he longed to be consumed by every inch of her all the time surely couldn’t have been normal and yet he couldn’t help himself. Since the moment she had walked into his life he had felt tethered to her, only happy whenever she was within proximity, their love and adoration for one another not dimming over the years they had been together.

She tapped his arms, making him loosen his grip as she turned around allowing him to keep her close as she put her hands on his chest, fiddling with the zipper on his jacket.

‘I said we’d go out to eat our treat,’ she said, enjoying the soothing circles he was rubbing on her back.

‘Oh ya did huh?’ Elvis chuckled, ‘big shot Schilling can’t spring for a nice dinner?’

‘Oh hush,’ Addison chastised making him roll his eyes. She knew he was only kidding but ever since the happy couple had chosen to relocate to California in an effort to help both their careers Jerry had found himself the butt of his friend’s jokes though she knew that was only because he had been sad to lose his friend. In fact he’d probably been more put out at Jerry moving on than Addison had to lose Marci a second time around.

‘I’m just kiddin’,’ Elvis said.

‘I know but don’t you go making any jokes at dinner. I don’t want Mar feeling bad about it, hell, I only suggested it because she looked so frazzled at the idea of catering for our rabble and seeing to Billy,’ Addison admitted.

‘Aw you old softy,’ Elvis chuckled.

‘I’m not soft,’ Addison protested making him raise an eyebrow, ‘I just remember how hectic it can all be and without Mar I wouldn’t have got through so, I’m here to help.’

At her words Elvis’ smile dimmed, his eyes growing stormier as she observed him. It was the look he had been sporting before, the one she had only peeked at for fear of getting onto a topic she didn’t know she was ready for but seeing him lost in his thoughts she figured there was no time like the present.

‘Are you okay?’ she asked pulling him back to reality as his brows knitted together and he said, ‘yeah why?’

‘You seemed upset…’ she said dropping her gaze as she mumbled, ‘before…when I said I didn’t want another baby.’

‘Oh yeah I guess,’ Elvis said, the evenness in his tone making her feel more secure in broaching the subject and she looked back up to find him watching her, ‘I suppose I hadn’t really thought about having another one until now…well not properly at least.’

‘And? What do you think?’ she said chewing on her lip nervously.

‘I dunno,’ he said honestly, ‘I guess having a baby around would be nice.’

‘Well Jess is seventeen you never know,’ Addison joked attempting to lighten the mood though Elvis’ face went deathly serious making her nerves turn to amusement as he said, ‘not funny.’

‘I had a baby at seventeen,’ she challenged giggling as he pulled her towards the bed, sitting her on his lap, his arms still looped around her as he said, ‘you’re the exception.’

They were quiet for a moment the pair of them pondering what they wanted to say though Elvis seemed to get his thoughts into line quickest as he said, ‘so no baby?’

‘Do you want one?’ Addison asked. It had been the first direct question she’d uttered, enjoying skirting around the idea just in case he told her something she wasn’t ready for. If somehow the past few years he’d managed to sneak his long-standing yearning to add to their brood past her.

‘I don’t know,’ he shrugged, ‘it might be nice.’

‘You’re not the one pushing it out,’ Addison said trying to keep the tone light once more but Elvis noticed she was deflecting and gave her a pointed look which made her sigh, ‘I guess I hadn’t really thought about it.’

‘You’d thought about it more than me,’ he challenged given the way she’d been so quick to brush his suggestion off.

‘Like I said you’re not the one pushing it out,’ she said hoping he’d see she hadn’t been harbouring something from him but rather it was always more present in her mind whether because she was a woman or because she’d already had an unexpected pregnancy she didn’t know. Elvis’ grip tightened on her hip, holding her steady as he expected her to continued. She paused before she spoke, her fingers playing with the hair on the nape of his neck nervously.

‘There’s just such a big age difference,’ she said feeling a touch lighter as her first concern floated out between them.

‘There’s ten years between Jess and Lisa,’ he challenged.

‘I know, I know,’ she said, ‘but we lucked out with them. I mean they both had time to be only children. Who knows how they’d react to a baby. Hell who knows how we’d react to a baby. I mean we’re older now.’

‘Yeah I guess you’re right,’ Elvis said seeing the point she was making. Both his girls had gotten time to enjoy their childhoods, it had made them appreciate gaining a sibling along the way, and though he knew they probably wouldn’t mind he couldn’t attest to it. And he understood what she meant about being older. He was by no means an old man but he couldn’t deny chasing his daughters around Graceland had been significantly easier when he was in his thirties.

‘But?’ Addison asked sensing there was still more to his expression.

‘I dunno,’ he shrugged, ‘I guess I just feel left out.’

‘How do you figure?’ she asked with genuine confusion.

‘Well I know I got the baby thing with Lisa and you got it with Jess but you said that was hard-’

‘I was a clueless kid,’ Addison said remembering how she’d muddle through the best she could.

‘Exactly. And I could’ve been around more when Lisa was little. I guess what I’m getting at is that it would be nice to do it again and enjoy all those bits we missed first time around you know?’ he said looking at her with a smile, ‘to get to do it with you.’

‘I get that,’ she said earnestly.

‘But?’ Elvis asked using her own tactic against her. If she could read his expressions well there was no doubt he could do the same and he could tell from the way she was gnawing on her lip there was more to what she was saying.

‘But I just feel like we put our lives on hold you know and now we get to have each other I’m not sure I’m willing to do it again…is that selfish?’ she asked.

‘No, it’s not selfish. I get it,’ he said as his hand moved up from her hip to her neck, his thumb dancing along her jawline making her swallow. It was a comfort though it didn’t quell the feeling inside her much. To feel those things was one thing, to openly admit a baby would be a hinderance was another.

‘I love our girls you know I do,’ she said feeling the overwhelming need to explain even though he’d already given her a pardon.

‘I know,’ he murmured.

‘But I don’t want to put our lives on hold for another eighteen, twenty years you know? I mean do you wanna be sixty when our baby goes off to college?’ she reasoned making him think. Of course he had thought about all the nice things that went with a child, the cuddles, the adoration, the laughter but he hadn’t given much thought to the other stuff. The screaming, the crying, the constant worrying you were doing it all right. Not to mention this time he’d be doing it with two other kids in tow. Jess was soon to be headed into a new phase in her life, one they had no blue print for, and though he and Addison were well versed in teenagers he doubted his little Lisa would be quite as easy to handle as her predecessor. Throw in a screaming baby and suddenly the idea didn’t seem as appealing as it once had.

‘You know I hadn’t really thought about it like that,’ he admitted.

‘I thought not…but it’s not just that. I mean we already have plenty of things with the kids left to look forward to,’ she said.

‘You think?’ he asked, again unlike his wife he didn’t really contemplate these things though he could tell from the smile on her face she had.

‘Yeah, but at least with that stuff we’ll still be able to have moments to ourselves,’ she said.

‘Yeah? What kind of things?’ he asked genuinely intrigued at what had been rattling around that pretty little head of hers.

‘Just stuff you know? Like I wanna drop Jess off at college but then I want to be able to go on vacation immediately after it so we can try and forget how much we miss her,’ she said making him smile, ‘and I wanna take Lisa to her first school dance and watch you have a heart attack when she meets a boy she likes.’

‘No thanks, been there with Jess,’ he grumbled making her roll her eyes before she placed her forehead against his, her voice dropping to a whisper as she said, ‘and I want to wake up at two in the afternoon and spend the entire day with you...makin’ babies.’

‘Yeah?’ he said with a breathy chuckle.

‘Yeah,’ she confirmed, ‘I just want to enjoy our time together…we missed enough already.’

‘I know,’ he nodded softly against her.

He could see it now, her reluctance. More to the point after what she had explained he was feeling it himself. He had no doubt that if a baby was the way their life panned out they’d not mind it that much. But if he had to choose, if he had to make a decision about what he wanted out of this life, it’d be her. He’d always choose her. She seemed to notice he’d accepted her views and adopted them as his own as she pulled back, her worry melting from her face as she looked at him.

‘Besides how are we going to find the time to have a baby when you promised me a round the world trip?’ she said, leaning back as she clung onto him by his neck, his hands moving to hold her steady.

‘We’ve already been to Europe and South America how much more of the world do you wanna see?’ he mused.

‘That was touring it doesn’t count,’ she said dismissively.

‘Oh so I’ve gotta take you again?’ he asked unable to stop himself from smiling at her. He loved her when she was like this. Though their relationship had grown leaps and bounds over the past few years, finally being allowed the chance to, deep down it was always just this. A simple thing, two best friends in love.

‘Yep,’ she said with a giggle as he pulled her in for a kiss. It was short and sweet though when she pulled back the mirth that had adorned her face was gone.

‘You okay?’ he asked.

‘You’re sure right? I mean ten, fifteen years down the line you aren’t going to decide we should’ve and regret it right.’

‘Addie, I love our family and I’d love anyone else that came along just as much,’ he said, his hand cupping her jaw as his thumb stroked the soft skin of her cheek, ‘but I choose us.’

‘Promise?’ she asked.

‘Promise,’ he confirmed, ‘Addie, I’d choose us every damn time.’

‘Me too.’

SERIES TAGS

@girlblogger2002 @sania562 @caitlin1996 @literally-just-elvis-fics @notstefaniepresley @artlesson8892 @18lkpeters @velvetelvis @jaqueline19997 @elvispresleyxoxo @amydarcimarie @presleyenterprise @everythingelvispresley @elvispresleywife @lillypink @richardslady121 @lettersfromvenus @louisejoy86 @ccab @dkayfixates

#my writing #elvis #elvis presley #elvis fic #here you come again #Elvis and Addison #Elvis x ofc #Elvis Presley fic #Elvis Presley x ofc #Addison Goodwin

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