#marriage-advice-for-men

[serpentface]

Scenes from The Baby Wars Part One: The First One

[Hibrides never wanted to be a mother (though the concept of childbearing has always occurred to her as 'inevitable and necessary'), underwent very severe post-partum depression, never really bonded with the infant, and was extremely uncomfortable with nursing her (they had a wet nurse who covered most of it).

Brakul ended up being the Designated Housewife throughout Erubi's infancy and was effectively the only member of the household providing parental care, was Extremely bitter with Hibrides for not really wanting anything to do with her daughter (among other things), and was raised in a context where fathers allowing their infants to comfort nurse on them is a standard practice (which is not widely conceptualized as a Thing men can do in the Wardi cultural sphere and comes off as bizarre to the rest of his household).

These combined factors lead to tense standoffs where he looms behind Hibrides trying to guilt her into Feeding The GodDamn Baby while looking, from her perspective, like he's trying his absolute hardest to breastfeed.]

[feminineenergylife]

Don't decenter men if you want a man...

Be careful with jumping on these trends.

They'll have you living the life you don't want lol

[thepersonalwords]

An angry wife can be more frightening than an army of disgruntled soldiers.

Matshona Dhliwayo

[beardedwisdom]

[alwaysbewoke]

unless you're a highly religious man, marriage just isn't worth the risk if you're a guy. you don't realize this when you're young, which is when you're most vulnerable, but as you get older, as you learn more about life, as you learn more about women, as you learn more about the games that are being played in relationships, as you learn more about divorce rates, as you learn more about people staying in unhappy marriages for the sake of kids, appearances, finances, etc., the more you realize that marriage is a gamble where the stakes are stacked against you as a man. this is especially true if you're not a wealthy man. if you're wealthy (like say a net worth of 50 million) and you lose half of that, you're still really rich and chances are you have the know-how and connections to make back what you lost. however, if you're a guy just making 50k a year and you suddenly lose half or more, you can literally find yourself homeless. it's crazy.

[ainsi-soit-il]

"Single Christians guys, write letters to your hypothetical future wife to give to her on your wedding n--"

[gayseniordating]

Wishing to find a nice man with love and positive thoughts.

[brilliantlydimwitted]

Men are not complicated. He’s not investing in you because you’re not worth it to him, he’s not chasing you because he doesn’t want you. He’s entertaining you because you let him. He’s not giving you what you want because he’s not afraid to lose you. Stop making excuses.

[bitchywitchymom]

Hey baby,

If your girl hasn't asked you about your day when you come home from work, and actually cared about the answer,

DUMP THAT BITCH

[divorceiswar]

Prenuptial Agreement

No one should get married without a Prenuptial Agreement in place! It doesn't matter how much or how little you have, you always have to protect yourself! You are making the biggest decision of your life to marry someone.

And second and sometimes third marriages—and the extended families that sometimes come with them—require financial and estate planning. Forty percent of new marriages include at least one spouse who was previously married. A Prenuptial agreement is especially a necessity when getting married after the first time.

There are two key issues every Prenup should address:

The first is how the assets will be divided in the event of a divorce or a death. The time to address this is before you get married. Divorce rates for second marriages, third marriages, etc. are even higher than those for first marriages. While you hope this marriage will work, you just never know. You should have at least three to six months before the wedding to work out the details and have the Prenup finalized.

The second is deciding how your personal accounts and other assets, such as real estate will be kept separate after marriage. It's crucial that you keep them separate.

Typically a Prenup will spell out what each partner is bringing to the marriage—including income, real estate, retirement savings—and whether each asset will be treated as separate or joint. Most important is that a prenup can shield one partner from any liabilities accumulated prior to the marriage, including student loans, credit card debt, and alimony and/or child support. It is very important that how to treat debt should be decided prior to the marriage and in the Prenup. In the event of a divorce, sometimes courts try to divide debt equally between the two parties. You have to be sure to protect yourself.

Any gifts given during the marriage should not be considered marital assets but should belong to the person receiving the gift.

More than one-third of adults said Prenups make smart financial sense, according to a Harris survey. “The time to plan for a divorce is not when you’re in a state of hate,” says Suzie Orman. You can’t fully protect yourself against a marital heartbreak, but at least you can protect your assets.

Be sure to have a divorce attorney write the Prenup. Just any attorney cannot know the specifics that have to go in one. It has to be done right so there are no loopholes. Unfortunately, in today's world, Prenups are being challenged in court.

[did-we-imagine]

Not a lawyer, but as a north african person, religious/conservative opinions aside, I feel that someone saying they don't want to marry their SO ever is a redflag. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Marriage normally secures both partners' rights esp the SAHMs...

However, I highly advise women NOT to put their careers on hold while men accumulate wealth and assets in GENERAL, and PARTICULARLY in my country/countries with similar laws, the assets aren't split evenly and while you can get some financial support, it will be meager (more commonly child support, alimony is not as easy to get, and many men will drive the wives to FILE for divorce to renounce their rights to financial support by them 🙂), AND you are only entitled to assets that you LEGALLY own (have boughy by yourself or the spouse declares that it is a shared property when acquiring it) though you may stay in the house (as long as the kids are minors, you aren't its owner), and btw, even this the men begrudge and resent lol. Obviously, cohabiting is not even an option here (illegal), but I guess in western countries it's definitely the less financially/socially beneficial variant of marriage. There is a reason why marriage is more secure than unmarried cohabiting in general.

I've seen women complain that their SOs refused to marry them even after having kids and spending 5 years+ together. I don't think that it's insane on these ladies' part to question their partners' intentions, despite their claiming that marriage is just a paper blah blah blah. If marriage really is just a meaningless piece of paper, then why don't you want to sign it? What is it going to change...? Imagine laboring emotionally and physically, enabling your other half to reach a certain level of material comfort and then being ditched with 0 claims to any of it.🤡

It's funny how those who wear rose tinted glasses will call me a cynical materialist or whatever, BUT it's the truth, and I'd fucking rather you know it right now rather than 20-30 years down the road as you get kicked out because the other person is leaving for a "younger/hotter" sugar babe OR they end up dying & their fam takes everything, leaving you in the dirt

My concluding 2 cts: if you are in a serious relationship that might result in marriage, consult a local lawyer to write a pre-nup, know your rights/duties, AND assume that the worst COULD happen, don't let the butterflies in your stomach tell you otherwise. People change. People can have bad intentions they HIDE until they get what they want. If someone refuses this and plays mindgames by questioning "your trust in them", run for the fucking hills because they are guilt tripping you lol. Being a SAHM long term is a very risky gamble IMO esp if the marriage laws don't guarantee you a minimum of the assets (just 20-30% is good, considering my country's law doesn't even do this) OR you aren't married, and even without assuming the worst of the breadwinning person, in the event of their death...How will you fare after 10+ years out of the job market, with very likely little qualifications or OLD ones?

this might be because I’m a family law lawyer and also an old crone who remembers when marriage equality wasn’t a thing (as in, marriage equality only became nation-wide two months before I went to law school), but I have Strong Feelings about the right to marry and all the legal benefits that come with it

like I’m all for living in sin until someone says they don’t want to get married because it’s ~too permanent~ and in the same breath start talking about having kids or buying a house with their significant other. then I turn into a 90-year-old passive-aggressive church grandma who keeps pointedly asking when the wedding is. “yes, a divorce is very sad and stressful, but so is BEING HOMELESS BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT ENTITLED TO EQUITABLE DISTRIBUTION OF MARITAL PROPERTY, CAROLINE!”

[ninetieslovess]

You want to keep her? Don't ignore her, don't neglect her, trust her and also reassure her that she can trust you too. Communicate and compromise with her. Take heart into doing little things. You're not going to keep a good thing unless you work for it. Because it is a lot easier to get her than to keep her.

[butteryunlikelylady]

decided I should see what the dating advice is like on the men’s side so I went to YouTube. It is WAY too easy to fall into the red pill manosphere with a simple “dating advice for men” search. I’m truly horrified at the kind of men this rhetoric is churning out

[beardedwisdom]

[ntimmel]

Marriage Insights for Men

The Mrs. and I are still figuring one another out, 14 or 15 years deep into our marriage.

(And 18 years into our relationship.)

It’s what two people do; they grow, change, and constantly learn about one another. 

I know I’m not the only man out there who was “guilty” of this behavior, and I know my wife isn’t the only woman it rubbed the wrong way.

So, some marital advice for men: less asking means more physical contact. 

You’re welcome.

[footballheadedlove]

A girl with a heart. Do you ever talk to girl and wonder why she's so sensitive about certain topics? How about why she is so caring to everyone? How about why she is so caring to everyone? Do you ever wonder why she is so willing to give so much of herself with no expectation in return? It's because she doesn't make you work very hard for the attention she gives you. It's because she accepts the love she thinks she's earned while you accept the love you think you're entitled to. It's because she accepts the apologies you don't mean, she forgives the mistakes you don't learn from, and she forgets the misery you don't stop bringing. Because of her good heart, she's been making excuses for you every single time you hurt her. She's been looking past how cruel of a person you are, and she's been ignoring the idea of leaving you because she's just not the kind of girl to give up on you. She trusted you too easily, she got attached to you too quickly, and she fell for you too soon and she knows exactly what she has done, but she can't help it. She just has a heart that can always see the good in someone and not let your imperfections determine whether or not you're good enough for her. It also makes her believe that you also have a good heart and you're capable of meeting every expectation she has because she would do the same for you. But let me explain something to you……. Here's what you should be afraid of. You should be afraid of the day, a good heart gives up on you because once this happens, then you've truly lost something more valuable and precious than anything you will ever encounter. So if you're reading this right now and you currently have a girl with a good heart, take my advice and take care of her, because life doesn't bless you with a good woman twice. — Cody Bret