#marauders mutual pining

[imjustherefortheshipping]

Sirius is so obvious with his feelings, he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve and is constantly glancing at Remus with the most besotted expression

Everyone can see it - except Remus because his brain immediately goes static as soon as he looks at Sirius and all he can think is “pretty pretty pretty”

[perpetuallydaydreaming]

will you marry me?

5 times remus has asked you to marry him and 1 extra.

tags: remus lupin x f!reader,, fluff,, angst,, no mention of the word y/n,, childhood friends to lovers,, mutual pining,, character death

first time at 5 years old;

your eldest sister was off to marry in spring and so naturally the whole house was buzzing with excitement and terror. and you, like any impressionable child, felt the tingles of something exciting happening before your very eyes.

lulu, your best ultimate mate as you so graciously dubbed him, felt this energy too.

or at least the many flowers and coloured envelopes scattered on the table, seem to ring some alarms for him.

“this table is too small,” he frowns, stopping his pretend chopping of the leaves, and looking longingly at the dinner table, filled with scattered wedding paraphernalia.

you shrugged, ponytail swishing as you move around him.

“we have to make room, my sister is to be mary.” you confidently repeated what your mum said to you in the morning. when you had whined at the lack of play space.

now you’re humming like it’s obvious, why you were given a child’s table and now have to play kitchen with one pot instead of four because of the lack of space. the confident pretence of a child to show they’re mature enough not to complain.

“why does she have to be mary?” he asks, his shoulder bumping into you, “i thought she likes her name hilda?”

you scoff, clearly lulu does not know of the way of being mary. so naturally, you being older (by a few months) needs to teach him. or else, however is he going to be a proper grown up?

“because she wants to be a wife. so she has to be mary first.”

“a wife?” he asks intrigued, “like mummy and daddy?”

you laugh, patting his head, “only mummies can be a wife, silly. daddies are hus-butts.” you stood straighter, having this conversation with your mum before. “mother says, you have to love first and then be a mary. so you can play with them even after dinner and eat chocolates and make children.”

he seems to perk up even more, looking at you. his eyes as usual, gleaming with obvious awe, “to make children? with what?”

you pout, having no answer.

you haven’t asked your mum this question yet. too busy thinking of how many mary’s there are in your town.

still, you try to think of an answer.

you don’t want to let lulu down, you are after all his only hope for knowing things.

luckily, you’ve overheard this one conversation last week, your sister moving after she becomes mary so they can begin making a family.

you raise your head, hand on your hip and your other pointed as if in a lecture.

you said in your most confident voice. “you enter specific rooms in the house, and always make sure it’s locked. and then you wait until you can come out with children. but you must only do this if you love them. that is the ultimate rule. or else it won’t work.”

“wow,” he breathed, he clenched his fists then, looking utmost determined. before screaming in glee and confidence, the only way a naive child could. “then let’s make children! be mary and then we can play all night!”

you clicked your tongue, disappointed he hadn’t comprehended. “but you should love me first.”

his cheeks heated pink, indignant, “but i do. i love you a whole lot! and i wanna play here all the time.”

you shook your head, grim. “we can’t.” sounding so heartbroken, as much as any five year old could sound.

because you’ve already asked your mum if you could make children with lulu and she said, you’re only suppose to do that if you’re a grown up in love.

you asked, what’s the difference? you were plenty grown. 5 is one hand after all.

and your sister said to you, amusement lacing her words, a grown up to take care of you and cherish you. someone able to help you and grow with you.

you look at lulu. his thin arms and his lack of knowledge.

certainly not a grown up. not a proper man who can be with you, at all.

“i don’t love you, so we can’t.” you say this huffing, now turning completely to your make shift pot and stirring the water and leaves.

lulu cried loud that day, wailing like a little kid.

and nodding to yourself knowing you’ve made the right choice. he is so not a grown up. even if his pinched face made you feel queasy.

your mum rushing over and asking what was wrong. when you told her, she laughed out loud, and hugged you both, brushing remus’ hair out of his tear streaked face.

and you wonder what was so funny when he looked so sad.

second time at 11 years old;

remy was horrified.

you realize this as he stares at you in a crazed panic. and as always, it was up to you to be strong.

“what do you mean by that?” puffing your chest out and stood to cover remy from potter.

“didn’t you know? kissing makes girls pregnant.” he whispered, loudly in the empty halls, scandalized as he went to look at your stomach as if it will inflate this instant.

you fight the urge to cover that area with your robes. willing yourself to be brave for the both of you.

“surely… that isn’t true.”

potter scoffs, offended to have been doubted, “yes it is, i heard a prefect say so.”

you feel remy grab the back of your robes in panic. the reference enough to persuade him. you almost roll your eyes, but instead sighed to calm yourself down.

“i ought to tell you lot to be careful.” potter looked at the both of you meaningfully, and inhaling sharply as a flash of embarrassment burns into your brain.

you weren’t able to will the heat of your cheeks to dissipate, before it showed on your cheeks. your face and neck warmed red. mortified that potter knows the secret kiss shared between you and your friend, currently pulling at your robes.

it was both of your first kiss, deciding to just get it all over with, so you both can know what was so special about it.

it wasn’t much.

it felt soft, and quick.

nothing at all sparkling or romantic, like others said.

“alert your parents immediately, else you might be kicked out. and i’ve grown quite fond of the two of you, you know.” potter nodded at you, looking as if he pitied you both before crossing his arms as he strutted away.

you look at remy fully now. he was standing too close and still holding unto your robes like a lifeline.

“did you really have to tell potter of all people what we did?” you scoff, crossing your arms and tapping your feet like how your mother used to do it when she was cross with something.

he seemed to shrink into himself more, “i’m sorry, he said he saw it, and pestered me into confessing.” he bit his lips to bleed. “i didn’t know you were gonna be in trouble.” he sniffled.

and you immediately cooled, reaching forward and pulling at his chin to stop his assault and softly rubbing at his bleeding lips with your robes with another click of your tongue.

“it’s fine, he already saw, nothing else we can do.”

“so, what are we going to do now?” he asked softly, he looked at you, eyes filling with worry and sadness. “what if you are? we’ll get in trouble, won’t we?”

you bring down your arm now, before breathing out deeply.

you try to think of why it wouldn’t be true, but the tone of his voice was making you worry endlessly too.

even though you know it wasn’t all true, because your sister kissed her husband plenty of times in the house and they don’t have kids.

and you were about to point that out to him. to reassure your ever warm, too soft friend, that james potter was full of it and to relax.

but remy stood straighter, his cold hands gripping yours tightly, so much that it hurts. now standing a bit taller than you. pink lips pulled into a straight line and eyes looking straight at you. soft brown eyes no longer holding any worry, instead with resolute determination.

“marry me,” he said, “i promise to look after our children and work.” he nodded at you, as if urging you to say yes. to trust him.

a look entirely different from what you remembered from way before, yet feeling all the same regardless.

the reason of proposal was ridiculous in of itself that you couldn’t help but laugh.

“i’m not pregnant you dolt, pregnancy doesn’t work that way. i assure you.” rolling your eyes in amusement. “so don’t you go proposing like some weirdo.”

he stopped for a second, as if startled as he kept looking at you. before leaving a shaky sigh, head hanging low.

“okay,” his lips in a wobbly smile, looking weird. “good.”

third time at 17 years old;

sirius had managed to sneak in a case of firewhisky in one winning after-party in the common room.

it was safe to assume that everyone was positively sloshed. if judging from the slurring exclaims from james and a red face peter barely able to stand and sirius laughing maniacally at something marlene has said to him.

and remus being the self-appointed responsible one, had taken it upon himself to maintain sobriety the entire night. to look after the three of them in the aftermath.

resolutely sitting next to you the whole night, engaging in a missed conversation about gossip and literature.

“still feeling confident you can handle these three blokes up in your room?”

he grimaced, already rubbing his temples, probably from regret and the james’ incessant off-key singing. “i don’t really have much of a choice now, do i?”

you laugh easy, “with the way james is attempting to strip, i think not. you did volunteer, taking responsibility and what not.”

he sighed rather audibly, over the soft music of the party that was already dying down. most of the attendees already settling into their respective rooms.

and you look at remus, slumped into the chair, and laugh to yourself.

still so helpless, you think. you guess you had to step up again. pick up the slack a little bit.

you try to trick yourself into thinking you were tired and miffed about it, but you find you quite like feeling needed. especially by remus.

whom of which seems to be way into being responsible now and being a proper grown up. one that follows curfew and plans his day.

he barely looks at you for help anymore.

he always has an answer to questions now.

as the boys depend on him for being the responsible one in their little foursome.

off to late night adventures and pranks. no longer the crying, awe struck, nervous kid you grew up knowing. makes you feel kind of sad.

“alright then,” you exhaled, “i’ll lend you a hand for dealing with the demons.” you stood up whilst downing your drink, a sweet concoction by dorcas.

he looks up at you, eyes looking bloodshot and tired. he softly shook his head, “you don’t have to.”

you frown, clicking your tongue and placing a hand on each of your hips. “i said i’ll do it, so i’m going to. now stand up and let’s go.”

he looked at you just a second longer and sighs looking away, a soft smile etched on lips before looking at you again. looking won over.

standing up, dusting the invisible dirt on his trousers and nodding.

he towers over you now, seemingly out of no where.

you realize this as your neck strain looking up at him. as you gather the rowdy, intoxicated boys back to the dorms.

something sirius was extremely grateful for and the others echoed.

“thanks for— for taking care of me darling,” sirius breathed hot into your face before pecking you on the cheek.

“yes, you’re very welcome,” you hummed amused, tucking his covers into his sides, making sure he couldn’t move out of bed.

sirius giggles, “it feels like being tucked in by a mum,” before looking at you serious, eyes wide and looking more sober than he actually was, as if realizing something.

“you’re the mum in the group!” he exclaimed.

“im the what?”

james overhears this and exclaims his agreements.

“oh you are! you’re the perfect mum size!” james said.

you turn to him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask hotly.

“you’re very caring and mum-like, and you scold like a mum too, sometimes you even talk like one,” peter mumbled.

you look at remus, giving you an amused look, lips stretching like close to laughing.

“this is going to be the last time i’m helping you lot, if you call me mum one more time.” you threatened lightly.

sirius hums loud like he doesn’t believe you, “it’s not all bad, not like you’re gonna be a single-mum. remus is gonna be the dad after all.” he said like he was so sure.

and james, of ourse, echoed his agreements.

“obviously,” james tutted from his bed, tucked in tight by remus.

“yesh,” peter slurred, “he looks like—remus looks like he knows how to read maps.” he breathes out, like on a verge of sleeping.

james gasps, “he does! remus is a map reading dad, nothing has made more sense than this moment right here. you are meant to hold a map in your hands remus, you’re a daddy compass.”

remus looks perturbed, eyebrows scrunched and lips into a tight frown. he shakes his head then, before closing each of their curtains, not even bothering to justify james’ quip. “night lads,”

“night dad,” sirius teased from his bed, before shuddering excessively, “never thought i’d say that again.”

you snort out a laugh before you could help it. “good night everyone.”

you look at remus, and see him gesture to come outside.

quietly walking out of their room and closing the door behind you.

“come, i’ll walk you out.” grabbing your hand softly and pulling you down the corridor to the stairs. dropping his hold just as quick as if he hadn’t meant to hold it in the first place.

“sorry about the lads, the lack of filter is unfortunately not the effect of alcohol but is just them naturally.”

you chuckle softly, rubbing your tingling palms on the side of your skirt.

as if you didn’t know that already. those three have already been a staple into your everyday life for majority of the year. they, quite frankly, grow on you like some persistent vine on a house.

“it’s fine, it was quite tame compared to the usual rubbish they spew most of the time.”

remus looks at you, barely able to hide the smirk emerging from his lips.

“don’t tell me you liked them calling you mum?” the teasing lilt in his voice impossible to miss.

you lightly push on his shoulders. “don’t be disgusting, being called their mum is weird enough. and you implying i like it just makes it even weirder.”

“well imagine being called daddy compass by one of your mates, it’s gonna be hard looking at james tomorrow morning i’ll tell you that.”

you laugh excessively loud at this, before covering your mouth sheepish as you remember the time.

you look over at him, up and down as if assessing, “but you do look like a dad who knows how to read maps. wears khakis all the time and has a moustache.”

he rolls his eyes at you, as you grin in mirth, “well does that mean you’ll do me the honours of marrying me to avoid the life of a single parent to three demon boys?”

you laugh, shaking your head, “not exactly selling your case to me, are you?”

“won’t you reconsider though?” he moans, like he’s pained but you see the glint in his eyes even in the dark dorm room stairs. “it is after all for the children.”

you know he’s joking, hardly a night of partying counts as anything like a proper proposal.

but your brain can’t help but supply the thought that he looked quite fuller now. arms looking sturdier, and harder. he is acting more responsibly, all the professors trust him.

he was almost like a proper grown up now.

and you remember the echo of the ultimate rule in your childhood.

you shake your head, and an easy smile spread on your lips. stopping at the stairs for your dorms, “over my dead body,”

and he laughs, the sound echoing in the trashed common room, “well alright, good night, beautiful.”

“good night remus.”

fourth time at 19 years old;

you knew james was serious about lily when you lot had graduated from hogwarts. but you didn’t know the extent of the seriousness until he said this after one of the order meetings.

“i’m going to ask lily to marry me.”

james had said this with such conviction, so sure and full of affection. you can’t help but feel awed.

he suddenly seemed mature. not like the doofus you’ve come to know and consider a confidant through these trying times.

but a proper adult, one who does taxes and knows how to set up an appointment for medical check ups and fights in wars.

james suddenly feeling very far away from you.

you feel remus shift, his leg pressing into yours. you look at him to see what he wanted, but saw he was just looking at james, eyes set hard.

you shook yourself out of your stupor. standing up abruptly, not meaning to leave the familiar press of remus’ leg against your thigh.

“that’s—that’s great news james, i would have never guessed you—oh you’re all grown up!” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, and him wrapping his around your middle with a giddy smile.

“thank you, mum.” he laughs, the on going joke still running strong. you squeeze him extra tight and pinching his arm for extra measure. before pulling away. “i never thought you had it in you to propose. i’d have half a mind to propose to lily on your behalf.”

he laughs, a bashful blush resting on his cheeks. “i figured, why wait, you know? tomorrow isn’t promised, and—i think spending every moment together is we all can do. i don’t want to die with regrets. i love her.”

you breathed in deep.

sirius coming forward too and slapping james in the back before giving his own congratulations and then peter and then remus too.

you were happy for them both, truly, having found one another even in these difficult times was awe-inspiring.

and then you start to wretchedly wonder if you could have that too. if only the circumstances were a bit different. would you have been given enough time to find another? enough to love? enough to marry?

you find your gaze sliding to remus, how strained his smile looked and wonder if he’s thinking the same.

he looked back at you, as he always does, and smiles gently. less strained now. like he was resigned.

you try to imagine if the circumstances were a bit different and he would find someone to love. someone to marry.

you feel your navel, coil in a bundle of nerves. a tension in your neck making you almost irate.

he gestured for you to follow him out.

like being compelled and weak, you follow without a question.

the night air was chilly, and feeling some sort of static on your skin, like building an unnerving suspense.

remus just sat and gestured for you to sit beside him.

the seat was cold, and you sat rigid like ice.

it’s been a while since you’ve last sat with remus like this. the order keeping all your hours occupied, mission after mission. surviving by the skin of your teeth.

all the world has gone fucked now, it didn’t feel quite real some time—like some sort of veil has just been pulled over your head making you see things clearer for the horrors awaiting your fates.

and in your mind loud with noise and worry, you almost didn’t hear him.

“why don’t we do it?”

“what?” you turn to him, hoping his face show an inkling, a clue as to what he had said.

he looked at you then, eyes still so warm even with the atrocities he’s faced and eyes still so bright in the night. a twinkling light reflecting in his eyes making him look younger. prettier.

“why don’t we get married?”

you lean back slightly in shock, “what?” you repeated, because you didn’t understand. this came so suddenly, words weirdly familiar but the intent wildly different than from all the others you’ve heard before.

you looked at his eyes. searching, still, for a clue or something that might make sense because what?

he laughs, the warm, soft sounding one you can barely hear. but it was just the two of you outside and it was quiet and you were sitting so close, so you hear it—loud and clear. the sound making you feel warm. “is that so crazy?”

he looked like a boy, happy and hopeful. his leg was pressing into your thighs again. the pressure grounding you.

his hands fidgeting deep within his pockets.

“i think we work well enough.” he added, with a small smile.

you feel something in your heart stutter, “work well enough,” you repeated. “glad to know i reach your standards for a bride, sir lupin.” you almost scoff. masking the bitter simmer of disappointment of his reason. and the coiling nerves still tightly wound in your navel, feeling heavy, making it harder to breathe.

he shrugs, “well you know, a lot of applicants have been killing themselves to be chosen. i reckon you ought to feel honoured.” he grinned over to you, still joking.

you rolled your eyes, “of course,”

“yeah?” he perked up, suddenly sitting straighter, his knees bumping into yours in his haste to look at you properly. “you want to?” he seemed shocked, overtly so, that it makes you laugh. a heat blooming on your face at his apparent willingness to marry you before shaking your head to avoid any confusion.

“no to the proposal but yes, that it is indeed an honour.”

he deflates, “ah,” he said softly, before laughing like he was embarrassed. “i just—i kept thinking what james said, about tomorrow not being promised—and, i, well i thought—“ he clears his throat before continuing. “i thought i might see what the fuss was about,”

you nodded, “‘m afraid marriage isn’t so simple. you have to love one another for a start.” you added somewhat bitterly, looking away.

“so you keep reminding me,” he says, laughing awkwardly.

fifth time at 38 years old;

you feel as if your life was reaching a crescendo.

the night glooming, brooding like the sky knows to colour it of fear and nerves.

it was going to come down to tonight, so it seems. whether we win or we lose. the end or the beginning. all those families we’ve lost and the families we’ve created. all our hopes and dreams sacrificed into this one night.

“you feeling alright?” remus asked to your left.

the glooming sky somehow illuminating his face all the same.

“as alright as anyone can be when facing a dark wizard.” you smirked, shrugging.

he laughs, still sounding so warm and soft.

you feel his fingers brush yours. you had half a mind to remind him to get ready and hold his wand tight.

you notice how keeps forgetting to do that. opting to hold unto you, just like he did before when he was a child from another time.

he only offers a closed lipped smile, looking at you the same way he has always looked at you. his stare the most familiar thing, it might as well be a part of you.

“i love you.” he breathed. and your heart hammered, your world tilting on its axis. shifting the very fabric of your universe.

and he looked relieved like he couldn’t wait to hold unto it any longer. and then he repeated it. more sure. louder. affectionate. looking straight into you. his brilliant, soft, warm eyes so full.

you wonder when did his gaze start to look at you like that?

and then you see;

his eyes looking as it did when he was five, shining with obvious awe.

his eyes when he was eleven, with resolute determination.

eyes when he was seventeen, glinting with mirth in the dark crevices of the dorms.

the look he gave you when he was nineteen, looking so boyishly happy and hopeful.

and now as he’s thirty-eight, looking at you with so much love, and longing, and pain, and joy.

“when this is all over,” he breathe, “will you marry me?”

so much time has passed by now that you had once thought it was too late for you. too late with him. something you always thought but could never have.

he was now undeniably a man. arms littered with scars and unwavering confidence as he looks at you. but his eyes still glimmer and twinkle all the same.

the undeniable rampage in your chest, your eyes searching for an answer or a clue for what he’s thinking.

“i love you,” he repeats, and gazing at you with that familiar eyes of his.

and you laugh because you found your answer. so you’ll give him his.

“yes.”

extra;

the battle was brutal, bodies piled on top of one another. those too young to know what they even fought for. those for their own ideals. and those caught in cross fires.

but it was over. and the good guys won.

but with so many lost, people thought, how could i possibly cheer?

but there was this type of solace when you’re gone. there was no more pain. all those gone can only do one thing, to let go. at least that’s what harry thinks.

staring down at the family he could’ve had.

your limp cold hand holding remus’ equally cold ones.

he wonders if someone intertwined your hands, or if you simply died holding on to each other. never to let go.

he realized it didn’t really matter. you were both gone. forever, but together.

he thinks of the comforting hugs you’ve given him in the short time you’ve spent with him, and the many stories remus told. and in this fierce pain he wonders if you ever saw the shiny, glinting ring in remus’ dresser hidden away ever since he was eighteen.

[blueironywrites]

Title: Longing

Rating: M

Summary: Remus and Sirius really are two sides of the same coin when it comes to their feelings.

Word count: 272

May prompts from @wolfstarmicrofic. Chosen prompt: mutual pining

**********

"You want me to what?" Remus turned to Lily in horror.

She could not be serious. She could not have honestly suggested that Remus go over and confess his feelings for Sirius.

Shy, awkward, chocolate-obssessed Remus who always has a nose in his book and too many scars to count, should go and confess his feelings for Sirius. Sirius, whose eyes shone when he threw his head back in laughter, whose smile could make Remus's heart skip a beat, whose shirt had fallen open to reveal the smooth skin of his collarbone that made Remus want to walk over and...

Remus flushed.

"Just forget it," he said, sadly. "He'll never think of me that way."

He continued staring across the room at Sirius, who was deep in conversation with James, and ignored the long sigh next to him.

+++

"I could never do it, Prongs," Sirius said as he contemplated what James had asked him to do.

How could he confess his feelings to Remus? How could he, reckless, dangerous, broken, most-detentions-in-a-month Sirius speak his heart to Remus?

Remus. Kind, beautiful Remus, whose raspy voice made Sirius's heart race, whose eyes shone when he smiled, whose mussy hair had a stray curl hanging loose that made Sirius want to walk over and...

Sirius flushed.

"He only sees me as his best mate," he said, miserably.

Sirius continued to stare longingly across the common room at Remus, absently hearing James let out a long, slow breath.

+++

"How can they be so stupid?" Lily asked James in wonder, later that evening.

James laughed. "They've been this way for years. You eventually get used to it."

[starchaserdreams]

My fics on AO3

Alright, so I deleted my AO3 account a few months ago (thinking I was done with this) and orphaned all of my works. Well, now I deeply regret that. But I have collected as many of them as I could find here for anyone who's interested.

Jegulus/Starchaser

Temptation Eyes (Now Complete!) - My Jegulus Regency AU. Completed, being posted one chapter twice a week. James enters the London season hoping to find a wife. What he finds instead is Regulus Black, and he never looks back. But as implied by the era, it won't be easy for them. Background wolfstar, shown as a different approach to a queer relationship in the regency era.

Get Regulus Out - 82k, Rated M, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Working Through Trauma, No War/Riddle AU, background Wolfstar, background Marylily. James tries to convince Regulus to leave Grimmauld Place as Sirius once did, and save himself from his parents.

How to Spot Signs of Jealousy - 4k, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, miscommunication. After Regulus gets fed up with people asking him out because of his family name, he and Barty agree to fake date. For some reason, James Potter seems livid...and Regulus can only guess that it's because he's homophobic. That's got to be it, right?

But Where's Regulus - 1k. James on laughing gas after getting his wisdom teeth taken out and talking about how much he likes Regulus

Waking Up Slowly - 2k. James wakes up in bed with Regulus in the Gryffindor dorm, something Sirius might not take kindly to.

I've Read Your Book - 1k. Two one shots based on the same premise: Writer!James didn't even know Regulus knew about his book, let alone had read it, but Regulus comes up to him and says "I've read your book" aka the most exciting words of all time to start a conversation for a writer.

Little Ball of Fire - 1k. Regulus gets into an argument with Snape. Regulus begins threatening him, so James picks Regulus up and carries/drags him out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

Prongsfoot/Bambibelle

What's in a Name - 5k, Soulmates AU, secret crush. In a world where soulmates exist and can identify each other by the feeling they get when they say each other's names, it's pretty easy to identify who your soulmate is. But for Sirius and James who only call each other by their nicknames, it takes a while to finally know.

The Bachelorette - 15k, mutual pining, Bachelorette AU. Sirius and James are both cast as contestants on the Bachelorette. Although their stated goal was to woo Lily and capture her heart, they don’t quite manage it. They fall for each other instead.

A Real Marriage Under Wizarding Law - 6k, mutual pining, fake/pretend relationship, drunken shenanigans. Sirius and James get a quickie drunken marriage in Knockturn Alley. When they wake up in the morning, they decide not to get it annulled so that they can save Sirius from an arranged marriage.

The Only Transfer Students to Ever Come to Hogwarts - 9k, arranged marriage, hijinx, angst with a happy ending. Sirius is upset to learn that not only does he have to transfer to a new school, but his parents have set up an arranged marriage for him. James assures him that's impossible, but Sirius knows his parents don't make empty threats. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

The Smell of Water - 4k, Amortentia, idiots in love. Sirius and James argue about what they're smelling without realizing that there's Amortentia in the room. When Sirius realizes, he becomes a whole mess about it. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

Wolfstar

Wolfstar Microfics Theme: Love - 8k, a collection of 22 microfics themed around love

6x James Found Out, and 1x Harry Did - 10k. Six ways James could have learned about Sirius and Remus' secret relationship, and one way Harry could have learned about it. *This is specifically ATYD fanfiction, and it's set in that universe.

[lulublack90]

Prompt 12 - Mutual Pining

@wolfstarmicrofic May 12, word count 618

Remus sighed deeply as he watched Sirius jumping across the Gryffindor table during lunch, scattering tureens of peas everywhere as he tried to escape Lily and her wand. 

“Not fast enough, Black!” She called and then Sirius was hiccuping bubbles. Remus sighed again. How could anyone still look as good as Sirius did with bubbles escaping from their lips? It made his heart ache to think how much he wanted to be with Sirius. To stroke his fingers along those sharp cheekbones. To taste his lips. To feel the muscles he knew lurked beneath Sirius’s robes. But Sirius was his best friend, and he knew he should stop thinking about him in that way. But he couldn’t. 

Sirius sulked for the remainder of the afternoon, and after a quick trip to see Madam Pomfrey, the flow of bubbles from his mouth stopped. 

“I told you not to keep going, mate.” James snorted as he patted his head. “You don’t mess with Evans.” 

James had been entirely unhelpful in his argument with Lily Evans. He hadn’t even cared that it was about his things being all over the common room. He would have gladly picked them up and apologised. It was that she’d ordered him to pick them up. Her tone had been exactly the same as his mother's, so he’d responded as such. However, his mother had never made bubbles spew from his mouth, so they differed there. He wasn’t going to pick up his quills and parchment though, on principle. 

Remus was sitting in front of him in charms, so Sirius stared longingly at him, trying to take his mind off everything else.

Remus was rubbing the back of his neck, trying to loosen a knot. The full moon was only a few days away and Sirius knew how sore he got. 

Sirius wanted nothing more than to get his hands on Remus’s neck and massage the pain away. But Remus would never allow that. 

He’d kept a distance between them since the beginning of the year, and it was breaking Sirius’s heart. He’d secretly been in love with Remus for a while now and not being allowed near him made him want to pull his hair out. Maybe he’d just try his luck later and massage Remus’s neck like he wanted to. 

Remus was uncomfortable. He couldn’t quite get the right angle or pressure to relieve the knot in his neck. He’d gone upstairs hoping a bath would help. But it hadn’t. He sat on his bed leaning as far forward as he could, his fingers uselessly pressing the wrong spot. 

The dorm room door opened and Sirius walked in. Remus watched as Sirius came closer and hopped up behind him on his bed and propped himself up on Remus's pillows. Remus tried to turn, but Sirius wrapped his arms around his chest and hauled him against his own. 

“Sirius!” Remus protested. But then Sirius got his hands on Remus’s neck and all the protest left him. He groaned loudly at the perfect pressure Sirius’s fingers exerted. The knot soon came loose, and he collapsed back onto Sirius’s chest, ignoring his own rules about not revealing how much he wanted to be like this with Sirius all the time and just enjoying the moment. He held in a sigh as Sirius's fingers accidentally stroked down his arm. 

Too soon, James came bounding in, closely followed by Peter.  Sirius carefully extracted himself from Remus and went to brush his teeth. Remus could have sworn he saw a happy smile creeping across Sirius’s face, but he didn’t think any more about it as he relaxed into his bed. For the first time in two days he was comfortable. 

[wolfstargazer]

12th May - Mutual Pining - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 421

It was hot. It was airless. The scent of parchment, and dusty tapestries, and sunbaked flagstones clung to everything.

Sirius lay, one hand resting on his stomach, shirt unbutton past his collar bone, listening to the sound of the water of the Great Lake lapping langourously at the shore. His eyes were closed, orange pin-pricked with stars beneath his eyelids, listening as Lily tried and failed to patiently explain it to James one last time.

"I'm never going to get this."

"You will," Lily insisted.

James hmphed and in his mind's eyes Sirius pictured him push his glasses up his nose before he said, "I'm worried that all this cramming is just pushing all the stuff I do know out of my head."

"But maybe if I just explain it one more time..."

"Give it up, Evans. Please do us all a favour and just enjoy the sun."

There was what Sirius interpreted as a furious silence. Sure enough, Sirius opened one eye and saw Lily scowling in his direction.

That was before James reached out, pulled Lily into his arms, and planted an impromptu kiss on her cheek.

Lily's scowl melted despite herself before she laughed and pushed him away.

"Where's Remus anyway?" Lily asked, smoothing down her hair and casting her eyes back up the path towards the castle. "We could do with someone to restore some sense to this so-called study session."

"That's him coming now," James said, nodding.

Sirius felt the tell-tale flutter in his stomach which he suppressed, shielding his eyes from the sun and looking over to where Remus was walking towards them.

He recognised the gait, wide and slightly lilting. He saw Remus' eyes narrow into a smile, wrinkled at the edges, as he spotted his friends at the lakeside and gave a wave. His sleeves were rolled over his elbows. It was so warm that even Remus, who keenly felt the cold, made this concession to the heat. Sirius saw as he drew closer the muscles of his forearms, his skin slightly tanned from the weeks of good weather.

Remus greeted them and sat down beside them. Siririus watched the slight bead of sweat roll from Remus' brow to his cheek and disappear round the curve of his neck. 

Remus turned, sensing Sirius watching, and Sirius passed his hand over his forehead, rubbing his eyes wearily before saying with an affected yawn, "Good of you to join us, Mr Moony. Now test Lily on her Arithmancy before she makes poor Prongs' brain capsize."

[musicalbl00m]

Imagine #2: Confessing your love to them.

wordcount: 590

Love confession to your friend while he gets ready for a date

not beta-read

“You sure I look alright, sweetheart?” he asks, running his fingers through his hair again. “It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date.” He mumbles.

Instead of replying, you are contemplating your whole existence. You’ve been in love with him for as long as you’ve known him, and for a while you thought the feeling was mutual. But alas, you didn’t have the balls to confess, and he hasn’t done so either. So, here you are, giving the boy you loved with your whole heart advice for his date with another girl.

Being so lost in thought, you didn’t notice his confusion at your silence. He knew you’ve been having a little rough time lately, but you haven’t been yourself for a few days. For a second he contemplates if its because of his date, but he quickly dismisses that thought.

“You know, if you’re not feeling well you don’t have to stay here. Its late and I know that you usually like to go to bed early. I don’t want to keep you up. I’m a big boy, I can handle myself.” He says earnestly.

You sigh softly, before looking up at him. He spots the pained look in your eyes and walks over to where you are sitting on his bed. Carefully, he cups your cheeks and looks at you with a gentle gaze.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart? You’ve been awfully quiet.” He asks softly, his thumb caressing your skin.

“I just…” you say hesitantly, looking into his mesmerizing eyes. “Are you sure you want to go on that date? She just… doesn’t seem like your type.”

“I don’t know, I just thought it was time for me to get out there you know. Is the date really what’s bothering you? Do you know her from something? Did she hurt you?” He asks, worried at the thought of someone hurting you.

“No not at all! She seems lovely.” You say hurriedly. “I guess I just always hoped… that I had a chance or something. I know its silly but…” You don’t finish your sentence immediately, trying to see his reaction, only to see him patiently waiting for you to finish. “I always hoped that at the end of the day it would be me you came home to, you know. That I’d be the one you kissed. And for a while I had hope that you felt the same, but I just got too insecure I guess.” You confess, closing your eyes as if to shield yourself from the possible rejection.

He lets out a soft chuckle, before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “You know, you have nothing to be insecure about sweetheart.” He says softly. “You are so incredibly kind, and creative. You are smart and helpful. You are beautiful and so incredibly fashionable.” He tells you with a cheeky grin as he tugs on the hello kitty sweatpants you are wearing. “You are everything a guy could want and much more. And I’ll be yours in a heartbeat, sweetheart. I just need you to say the words.” He confesses to you, looking into your eyes with a soft gaze.

“I am so incredibly in love with you. I have been forever and ever. Please let me be yours.” You tell him, almost begging.

“Took you long enough.” He teases, before connecting your lips in a soft kiss.

“I am so utterly in love with you too, sweetheart.” He mumbles, before continuing to press soft kisses to your lips.

[mangomonk]

thinking about emotionally constipated regulus finally giving in to his feelings after overcoming so much yearning! pining! but also guilt of his involvement in the war/knowledge that he likely won't make it out

but that aside, thinking about him giving in to his feelings and trying to find the best way to demonstrate his affection to his crush but he has no healthy template or model of showing love. walburga and orion were not the paragons of romance so when regulus finally doubles down on his feelings he doesn't know what to do. but regulus, like sirius, is the same sort of brave that doesn't sit around and wait

so he begins courting her with the only shows of affections that he's really seen, i.e., literal pureblood courting traditions of lavish gift giving. it's painfully clumsy in the beginning — he doesn't know all of her preferences, but he knows she likes fruits, so he all but buys out any fruit-adjacent sweets at honeydukes. when it comes to giving it to her for the first time, he can't quite decide where to look when he rather unceremoniously plops it into her lap, but soon enough he can't quite keep his eyes off of her to study her reactions to the candies. he starts to think he's made a terrible mistake but then she smiles and it feels like he's been cracked open raw and he feels a little dizzy and from there on he turns into a crow of purchasing things that he thinks might bring that smile back.

across the months, from candies, it turns to fancy quills and ink pots (after she makes an offhanded remark about her quill being patchy), and once he realizes that a witch can really only have a few quills and ink pots, he turns to books, even considering asking remus for recommendations on muggle books (he doesn't though, because he's much too proud, but remus notices that sirius's little brother has been hovering around him recently).

soon it escalates to ridiculously fine clothes (though he'll never admit it, it is entirely intentional that the color of the silk dresses match with his handkerchiefs), and when he finally turns to jewelry, she stops him with a baffled question.

because with every item he's given to her, he's always just shrugged his shoulders jerkily and alternated between looking at the gift, her face, and the nearest window. he's always shortly said something along the lines of, "your old quill didn't even resemble a feather anymore," or "your clothes are drab," because even though he's made progress, regulus black is still too emotionally constipated to tell her he loves her, but he hopes that she knows (she does).

[maggie-eatsregulusblack]

okay okay

praying this lands on the right peoples for you

i present😁

marauders era texting fic bc muggle technology definitely works at hogwarts

very very gay

and aroace mention☺️

i cant really easily do under the cut for this because its continuous sorry😔

WHERE ARE MY MARAUDERS CHILDREN☹️☹️

[soupyloopyx]

Sirius: omg thats so funny tho lol Sirius: damn comedian in the chat yall Remus: OMG! He agreed with me. Holy shit I’m falling too hard. Haha hard. Fuck, he’s rubbing off on me. OMG LMAOO RUBBING OFF HEHEH Lily: ??? wtf ??? Remus: OH SHIT WRONG CHAT

[lizard-on-a-window-pane]

Remus lupin x reader

Maybe they see each other at a party after not seeing each other all summer and they end up either kissing or talking all night or both or more its up to you :)

hi, anon! so sorry this took me forever to write! i really liked the idea and wanted to write a full fic but had not had time. i don’t know why it turned so angsty lol but i hope you like it, and feel free to request something fluffier if you wanted that! 

pairing: Remus x reader 

summary: You reunite with Remus for the first time since he rejected you months ago, but perhaps there was more to be said.

tags: friends to lovers-ish, fluffy angst

word count: 2.3k

You’d know that head of hair anywhere. Your stomach lurched as you walked further into the room, the party starting to pick up to full force. His back was turned to you so you couldn’t see his lovely face, but his height and his messy brown locks that you just wanted to run your fingers through were impossible to miss. Remus. Your Remus… No, not your Remus, you had to remind yourself. Remus that you were impossibly in love with. Remus that you had spent every morning after a full moon comforting since you’d found out about his furry little problem. Remus that had rejected you almost three months ago just before the summer, the last time you’d seen him. Now, here you were, at a party you didn’t even want to come to in the first place, dragged lovingly by Lily who said you moped at home too often. She was right, of course, but you loved moping at home, and why put such a limit on doing the things you love? 

You’d been friends with Remus for years before telling him about your feelings. Those feelings had started almost as soon as you’d met him and just grown from there as you got to know him. You didn’t believe in love at first sight, always thought it a bit superficial, a thing for movies that didn’t want to take the time to develop full characters. But with Remus it had been pretty damn close. But to you, it had been very far from superficial, you loved him upon seeing him because of everything his appearance told you about him. 

The way he didn’t seem to put too much effort into his appearance, his hair messy, his clothes casual. You loved his jumpers, the way they looked on him so attractive and the idea of wearing one of them with his smell still clinging to it so enticing. You loved the way he looked as though somehow he was simultaneously completely in his own world, in his own head, but at the same time observant and sensitive to the world around him. This wouldn’t have seemed to you something you could tell just from looking at a person, but looking at Remus, really looking, you felt you could see into his soul. His mesmerizing brown eyes told you so much. When he was reading,  as they scrolled across page after page, you wished desperately that you could see inside his mind, certain that the way he imagined any story would be its best possible version. Those same eyes, though, looked upon his friends with such love, such care that you knew his heart was as brilliant as his mind even though he was a solitary person. 

You’d gotten on pretty quickly too. Before Remus, crushes had always made you freeze up. You never knew what to say, were afraid of embarrassing yourself. But with Remus, it had been the opposite. You inevitably opened up when you were with him, were the most comfortable, the most yourself.

Well, you had been anyway. That felt as far from true as possible now. Seeing him at the party had you paralyzed in place and desperate to snap out of it in time to run and hide before he saw you.

“You should talk to him. I know how much you miss him, and I’m sure he misses you too. James says so, and how wouldn’t he with how much you too like each other?” you heard from beside you. You turned to Lily and gave her your best “are you absolutely mad?” face. 

“Oh, c’mon, y/n. Remus is nice… well, at least nice to you. I’m sure he won’t make it awkward.” 

“How could it possibly not be?” you replied. “I can’t do it, Lils. Or, I don’t want to. I don’t know. Either way, I’m so not going over there.” “Well, that’s alright…” You were surprised at how easily Lily was letting it go; it wasn’t like her, but you were happy for the slack. “…because he seems to be coming over here,” she finished, grinning as if this was amusing. 

Your head shot in Remus’s direction, and sure enough, he had turned toward you. Your eyes met, and you wouldn’t ‘ve been able to name the feeling that shot through your entire body in that moment. Was it pleasant? Unpleasant? Fear? Love? It was like it was everything at once. Very like Remus to make you feel so much,  to make feeling such an intense experience, even after all this time… it was infuriating. 

When he looked at you, his usually stoic eyes softened, and he opened his mouth as if to say something to you even though he was still quite too far, especially with how loud the surroundings were.  You both stood still in place, staring at each other from across the rather large room. He took the first step. But as he did so, you turned away quickly and shoved past crowds of people in your desperate shot for the door. 

You made it outside, and the fresh, cold night air was a pleasant punch. It recalibrated the world, centered you, brought you back to your body, away from the pulsing music and your own pulsing heartbeat in your ears. You breathed it in like the sweetest medicine. 

Your cheeks felt like  they were on fire out here in the cold. You knew you must be blushing madly from the combination of embarrassment but especially sadness and anger at your almost-encounter with Remus. Bringing your cold fingers to your warm cheek, you felt a tear there you had not been conscious of shedding. You wiped it away quickly and took a long, stabilizing breath. You were finally calming down when you heard it. 

“Hey…” His unmistakable, dulcet voice just behind you. 

You closed your eyes tight but said nothing and didn’t move. 

He waited a few beats without saying anything more, but his presence behind you was heavy with anticipation and there was absolutely no doubt in your mind that he was still there. 

“Can we talk?” he asked, more of a whisper this time, closer. You took another deep breath then turned to face him. 

He was so beautiful. The scars across his face and peaking out of the collar of his jumper were particularly salient in this moonlight; his skin was still pale despite most others’ summer tans. His fingers were playing with his too-long sleeves; he was chewing his bottom lip, waiting for you to answer him. You gave a slight nod. 

His tense shoulders seemed to relax a bit at that, and he took another step closer to you. 

“How are you?” he asked.

“Fine,” you responded, a bit too quickly. 

He paused, probably hoping you’d say something more, but when you didn’t he just gave a bit of a nod as he tried on. 

“How was your summer?” “Good.” 

A beat. “Look, y/n…I know we left things in a kind of weird place last time we saw each other, but —“ Your scoff cut him off. 

Now you waited for him to continue, but when he didn’t, you said, “that’s a nice way to phrase being rejected after admitting feelings that terrified you and losing your closest friend in the process.” 

He looked dumbstruck at your directness. His lips tightened into a harsh line and he exhaled sharply out of his nose before whispering, “It doesn’t have to be that way.” “No?” you asked, a bit more harshly than you intended. “Which part?”

“We can still be friends,” he said kindly. 

You couldn’t help but scoff again. 

“You can’t be serious?” you asked with a disbelieving laugh. 

He opened his mouth to respond but closed it on words that never came. He looked away from you for the first time, up toward the sky, chewing his lip again, burying his hands in his pockets. He cleared his throat loudly, and you couldn’t tell if he was trying to keep from crying or trying desperately to come up with something to say, but there was no missing how upset he was.  You felt a pang of regret at this realization. You were upset too, heartbroken, but you still cared so deeply for him and couldn’t stomach the idea of causing him pain. 

“Remus…” you whispered. His eyes shot directly back to yours at the sound of his name, and his expression shifted immediately to something between sadness and longing.

“I…” he let out but again couldn’t continue. You stepped closer to him this time. 

“Remus… Listen… I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. I just… I can’t. Be friends with you, I mean. Not like you want me to be. It would hurt too much loving you, knowing you don’t love me too.” You were crying softly now, and you looked down as you finished, unable to maintain his piercing gaze.

“That’s what you think?” He sounded appalled, almost offended. “What?” you looked back at him. 

“You think I don’t love you?” 

“Well, you basically said as much.” “I didn’t.”

“You did.” “No, I didn’t. I’ve never lied to you, y/n. Never.” He was firm, his calmness confusing you even more. 

“I don’t understand… You rejected me. You didn’t return my feelings.” “That’s what you think happened?” His tone was utterly disbelieving, almost angry now. 

“Isn’t it?” 

“No.” “Then what happened, Remus?”

“I —“ He moaned in frustration. “You what? What, Remus? For fuck’s sake, please clarify things because I am seriously starting to lose it.”

“I can’t be with you.” It hurt just as much as it had all those weeks ago. It knocked the breath right out of you. You’d thought you’d processed, started to heal even if not yet move on, but this was just as raw as if you hadn’t just spent an entire summer trying to deal with it. You nodded slowly, angrily, looking away from him. 

“I never thought you were cruel, Remus. What? Rejecting me once wasn’t enough?”

“Well you should have!” he yelled at you, shocking you, jolting you upright. His hand went to his face, rubbing aggressively then scratching into his hair in frustration. “You should have.” he said much more softly this time. “You should have realized I’m capable of cruelty, y/n. It’s in my blood. It’s what I am.”

“Remus…” equal parts scolding and loving, finally understanding. “Remus, you’re not.” “I am. And I always will be. How can I be with you being what I am? How can you want to be with me?” His last question was complete desperation, a barely audible whisper. You closed the space between you and brought your hand to his face. You caressed his cheek then rested your forehead against his. You worried he might resist your affections, but to your surprise, he didn’t. He melted into your touch, exhaling all of his tension as he nuzzled into your palm, brushed your nose with his, his eyes closed. 

“Fuck,” you felt more than heard him say. 

“Yeah,” you whispered back. He gave a bit of a chuckle. “Remus.”

“Hm?” 

“Remus, look at me.” He opened his eyes, his face so close to yours. As you looked into each other’s eyes, he brought his hand up to your face, his cold fingers now caressing your warm cheek. 

“You love me?” you asked him. “Desperately,” he responded immediately. “How could I not, lovely girl…”

“Do you think I’m stupid, Rem?” “What?” He was so taken aback his shifted slightly, only slightly, back from your face. “Of course not, y/n. You’re the cleverest person I know. Why would you ask me that?” “You trust me?” “Yes.” “Okay, then if you trust me and you trust my clever judgement, can you please believe me when I tell you you’re worth loving? Please, Remus. You’re breaking my heart not letting me love you. I know you don’t mean to, but you’re hurting me — hurting both of us — by acting out of fear.” He closed his eyes again and exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve better.” “I don’t want better; I want you. And you’re hurting me now, Remus.” He took a second, looked back and forth between your eyes, scanned your face. “You’re sure?” “Entirely.”

With that, he kissed you immediately, fiercely, bringing his other hand to cup your face. You kissed him, running your other hand through his hair, pushing your body against his. Your tongues tangled; your moans harmonized. There was nothing else but him, his body, his mouth, in that moment; the rest of the word faded away as you breathed him in, tasted him for the first time, touched him as if for the first time. 

After what felt like a blissful eternity, you broke apart but kept your faces a breadth away from each other. You couldn’t help but giggle, and he chuckled in response, still caressing your cheek and bringing his other arm around your waste, holding you close. Your arms met behind his neck, and you bumped your noses lovingly. 

“So,” he stated. “You wanna go back to the party?” he asked, his tone implying he already knew your answer. “No, I don’t think so,” you laughed. “Good. Me neither.” “Good.”

“I really do want to hear about your summer, you know. And now we have all night to catch up — not to mention tomorrow… and the day after that, and the one after that…” His smile was joy and anticipation, but you could read his relief there too, could see how much he had wanted this like you had. “But…” 

You cocked your eyebrow at him.

“But, I think I want to do this a little longer first.” His smile became his kiss, and you were sure you’d never get enough. 

[wordsofwilderness]

Hear me out but, handholding AND knotting at the same time 🥰

[starchaserdreams]

Is there a problem, Padfoot?

I posted a new wolfstar fanfic on AO3! It's ATYD fanfiction.

In All The Young Dudes, after Christopher Barley asks Remus out, Remus flippantly tells Sirius what Christopher just said, then says he's kidding and lets Sirius off the hook.

But what if he didn't?

"Hey, what did that kid want?" "Christopher." "Ah, he in your fan club?" "Study group." "Pfft. What did he want?" "He was asking me out." ... "Is there a problem, Padfoot?"

Rather than moving the conversation along and acting like it was a joke, Remus says that yes, Christopher asked him out, and implies that yes, he agreed to go. Sirius spirals, but he's definitely not jealous or anything.

4,800 words, Sirius' POV, Mutual pining, jealousy, possessive!Sirius, no homophobia, just a lot of jealousy, cutesy with a happy ending

(This was a challenge that our ATYD book club did, here are two others by @selin1005: Oh, Christopher, what have you done? and Oh, Christopher, you never stood a chance.)

[bluedahlia912]

New one shot!

[allaboutlov3]

@marylilymicrofic/waiting on you/628 words/no tws/pining/idiots in love/allaboutlov3 on ao3

“Hey Mary, aren’t you going out with us tonight?” Lily asks while fiddling uselessly around trying to close her necklace at the nape of her neck.

“Nah. I think I need some cozy alone time.” Mary can practically feel Lily rolling her eyes at her. She’s been doing that a lot lately. Still, Mary can’t really seem to be bothered by it. Granted, it kind of shows that Lily likes having her around. What doesn’t make sense though is the fact that Lily doesn’t seem to realize this, despite it being so obvious.

‘So, why don’t you just tell her?’ Marlene must’ve asked her that a million times already.

And each time Mary answers in the same way, ‘This is something she has to find out for herself. Sometimes you only know certain things when you know them. I could tell her now and she probably wouldn’t understand.’

‘So, she doesn’t know?’ Marlene had asked the first time Mary told her.

‘Oh, don’t be thick. Of course she knows. But clearly, she doesn’t know. Theres a difference, you know?’

‘The only thing I heard was know and now that doesn’t even feel like a word anymore,’ Marlene had replied, shaking their head.

Of course, they only let the topic rest for a couple of days before arguing their case again, but Mary had remained stoic ever since. She hadn’t changed her mind. Still hasn’t. She is determined. Lily must find out for herself what it is that she truly wants. And if that turns out to be Mary – great. If it doesn’t, also great. Well not for Mary though, but she will survive.

Over the last few weeks though, Mary could sense a real difference. Despite slowly emerging doubts, she had stuck to her strategy with ironclad determination. And now it seems to finally pay off.

“Okay but, you can’t you do it tomorrow?” Lily’s voice brings Mary from her thoughts back to the present.

“You know what? You’re right. I should spoil myself and treat myself to two cozy nights. That’s a great idea, Lils!”

“Haha,” she replies lamely, “that’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“So, tell me what you mean then?” Mary raises an eyebrow as if its’s an invitation to a duel.

Almost immediately Lily grimaces and starts to pout.

“You know…I...I just…you” she stammers, clearly irritated. Her face begins to glow a bright pink. Mary doesn’t respond. She waits a few more seconds but when Lily doesn’t say anything else she continues knitting. As she had expected, this action drives Lily nuts. She hears Lily gasp indignantly and has to try her hardest not to smile.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Lily called out, a mixture of confusion, anger and something else. Insecurity perhaps?

It makes Mary look up to her. She wants to ease the situation somehow. Wants to smooth out that wrinkle hat has formed on Lily’s forehead. Wants to touch her and never stop touching her. Wants to tell her how much she actually wants to accompany her. Or how much she wants for her to stay. How her day always magically gets better when they are spending time together.

How she is truly and undeniably, honestly and in an almost heartbreakingly way in love with her. That she can’t really remember a time when she wasn’t. That she’s all hers if she just says the words. That she is even if she doesn’t.

There is no reality in which Mary doesn’t love Lily. And she wants her to know that.

But right now, there is only one thing or her to do. Only one thing for her to say. “I’m waiting on you,” she replies as gently and softly as she possibly can.

[quillkillerhasmyheart]

I don’t think we as a society talk about Quillkiller enough.

Mutual pining? The toxicity yet how in love they are? How they both would do absolutely anything for the other? How Rita tames Bellatrix’s crazy down just enough? Can we please talk about this??