#marauders mutual pining

[got-the-cheese-touch]

More Than a Name - prologue

Harry Potter x Sirius Black's Daughter!Reader

slowburn harry potter x reader

summary: your childhood is tragic. but then you meet Remus Lupin. and he helps you plant roots.

content: angst will turn into fluff, dw (wolfstar if you stare really hard at it for too long) try to find the all the young dudes reference.

a/n: okay, here's the prologue. i'm really nervous, i've never shared my writing so hopefully it's not shitty.

trigger warnings: this contains pretty heavy stuff!!! reader was told she had hallucinations. abuse in a hospital/foster care setting. mentions of her mistreatment. remus was not mentally well after sirius died, so there are some mental health issues implied. user was put on meds and therapy testing. its character development, y'all i swear i have a plan. no use of y/n, i describe the reader being small (only because she's a little kid rn)

word count: ~ 4k

ty to @thecutestgrotto for the dividers <3

Your childhood was one that was void of certainty. You existed through suitcases and trunks that were never unpacked. A bedroom never decorated. A plant with no roots can never truly grow. You yourself were the result of something short lived. A one night stand. Your mother was young when you were born. Too young to want to keep you. Your father? As tangible as the wind itself. You were told he was arrested before he could meet you, before he could take you in. (You’d learn later that he cried harder when he heard you were in the muggle foster system than when he learned his sentence for Azkaban. He knew what happened to young wizards on their own.) If only he could have protected you from the inexplicable events that wreaked mayhem wherever you went. 

Hospitals would diagnose you, medicate you, and try to pick your brain. Hippie foster families would try to meditate away the craziness in your mind. Hallucinations, they said. A teenage girl running straight into the brick wall dividing platforms at King’s Cross. A woman that became a cat. Owls flutter about during the day. They were all things that should’ve been cured by pills. Foster families were frightened by your condition. Hospitals were perplexed. Special homes wanted to cure you with alternative practice. (The smell of sage still makes you want to vomit.) 

But it all changed the day two, kind looking men came and visited you in the St. Bernadette’s Home for Mentally Troubled Youth. The last resort. You sat on the bed, waiting for a med call. Your legs kicked impatiently, your arms were scarred and you picked nervously at your skin; so far in your own haze that you didn’t see the door open. You had scars from injection treatment, punishment from teachers, from angry foster parents, or the cruelty of other children. You were unhealthy. Your hair was wild, so were your eyes. His eyes. It startled Remus when he saw just how much you resemble your father. That wildness in your eyes, the way you sat with a bouncing leg. He saw your scars and the bruises around your wrists from being roughed by medical staff. He wanted to throw up. 

The creak of the wooden floor startled you. Your eyes shot up, expecting to see the angry glare of a doctor. Instead, you saw two strangers. The first was an old man with a long white beard. You were never lucky enough or so well behaved that you got visits from Santa Claus but you guessed that this is what he’d look like. He was thinner than the magical man who delivered gifts, though. He smiled at you and tilted his head, correcting the small glasses he wore on his nose. He looked at you like he knew you all your life, like he had known you before you were born. Trailing a bit behind him was a taller, nervous looking man. His sweater was pushed to his elbows and you saw his skin was scarred like yours. But his were older, deeper. Like he had tried to claw his way out of his skin. He had curly hair and sharp eyes. Not unfriendly, you thought, but withered. Like he spent his whole life waiting for a rest that wouldn’t come. When the older man spoke your name, you almost didn’t recognize it. 

You hadn’t heard your name spoken so softly. It was foreign. 

He sat down next to you and shook your hand. It was the first touch that you felt in a long time that wasn’t punishing. 

“I am Albus Dumbledore.” He said with a smile, like he’s letting you in on a secret. “Do you know who I am, young lady?” he chuckled softly when you shook your head. “No? I figured.” 

“Sir, we don’t have much time.” The nervous man’s voice was rasping and cozy. Like a scratchy woolen blanket, you thought. 

“Yes, yes,” Dumbledore waved his hand dismissively, turning back to you “I’ve come to take you away from here, child. I’m terribly sorry I took so long. I’ve only just come to learn about your state here, please forgive me.”  He truly sounded regretful. Like he himself had scarred you. “How would you like a new school? A new place to live?”

“What- Take me away?” You said, scrambling up, panicked. They’d take you to another hospital, somewhere worse. You always went somewhere worse once people picked you up from your foster homes and schools. “No, no, please I’m doing better. I'll do the therapy, the- the testing. I can’t- please, please- I’ve been trying-” Your breath was shaky, pleading. The tall man with the sweater looked away.

Remus wanted to cry. He bit the inside of his cheek and tried to focus on anything except the fact that you were Sirius’s daughter. That you were so much like him. But you weren’t like the bright, lively boy whom he spent his youth with. You were like the dull, timid creature who survived hell in Grimmauld place. 

“I promise you, it will be better, child. I can’t explain much now but we know the place for you, alright dear? You’ll be hurt no longer, I swear it.” the old man held out a wrinkly pinky finger, adorned with rings. A promise. You didn’t trust him, but you knew that adults didn’t like when you didn’t follow what they said. You looped your finger around his and nodded. 

Minutes later, you were out of the gloomy brick building that was St. Bernadette’s. You packed up your suitcase (not much packing was needed) and you were out. Just like that. The two men had stepped away from you for a moment. The taller one was upset. The two talked in hushed voices. 

“Professor, I- I can’t. In my state? I’m not- not fit for a child, let alone Sirius’s child.” You didn’t know who Sirius was. 

“You’re the closest family she has now. Her and Harry, poor things.” You didn’t know a Harry either. “There will be help for you, Remus. When your condition flares up, she will be in good hands. Hagrid can watch her, so can Minerva. But we cannot have her in a Muggle’s care any longer. Look at the poor thing.” Dumbledore placed a hand on Remus’s shoulder. “I trust you with this Lupin; he would’ve trusted you too.” With that, Dumbledore strolled inside, to talk to the doctors, you assumed. 

You were sitting on the steps outside of the building as the old man talked with the doctor’s inside. Next to you, the tall man who had yet to speak to you sat on the step. You learned his name was Remus. His long legs stretched in front of him. He said your name, just as gently as Dumbledore had.

“How old are you, mate?” He asked, glancing over at you, moving your small suitcase out of the puddle you had put it down in. You thought for a moment.

“I’m six and a half.” You replied. You weren’t sure if you really had gained that half of a year but the number made you sound older, stronger. It seemed to take something out of Remus though. He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. He looked tired again.

“Merlin, Padfoot, what have you done?” He said to himself. Six years. Six years since James and Lily. Six years since Sirius. Six years since that cowardly rat, Wormtail disappeared. Six years old. She's so young, he thought. The two of you sat in silence for a few moments. 

“I was a lot like you, you know.” He said, not making eye contact. “I went to a school like this one. Where people tried to help me but never could.” He pulled at a weed that sprouted between the cracks of the step. He turned it between his fingers before tossing it. 

“Is that where you got those scars?” You ask. Your voice was quiet but curious, you didn’t want to offend him.

“Some of them. But most of ‘em have faded.” He didn’t offer any more explanation than that. You didn’t pry. He pulled out his wallet. It contained a few bills you didn’t recognize, an old train ticket, a few coins, and a crumpled up photo. He slid out the page and unfolded it, holding it out for you to see. The bodies on the page seemed to move. You needed your medication, your hallucinations were vivid. Almost real. “Look here, kid.” He pointed to a figure “Here I am,” he slid his finger to another figure on the paper, the face too old and blurry to make out. “That there is Sirius. That’s your dad.” You stared at the shifting figure. You didn’t have the chance to say anything. Dumbledore walked outside, slipping what looked like a stick into a pocket of his robe. How silly, you thought. 

After a word with Remus, Dumbledore had seemingly vanished out of thin air and you walked hand in hand with the tall man, away from the terrible building. You got onto a train with him, still waiting for the moment you’d learn about the new trial they’d test on you or the new medicine that would make you stop hallucinating. You fell asleep curled up into the seat. Remus felt a tug at his ribs. You were too much like Sirius. 

When you woke up, you were in bed. It was small but it was more comfortable than any bed in any hospital you'd ever been in. When Remus checked in on you, he explained a few things. You were going to live with him for a while and that you should try to call this place home.

He made you toast. He spread out four different kinds of spread on each corner and cut it nicely. Moony toast, he called it. You ate it alongside him quietly. You’d be happy to stay with him if you could eat toast like this. 

“Are you my new dad?” You asked between bites. This made him flinch. He thought about what to say for a long time before he sighed. 

“Just eat your toast, mate.”

Life with Remus wasn’t easy, but it was happy. You finally had roots. You laughed with him and he’d patch up your knees when you fell. He’d disappear for a few days every month and he’d come back looking hurt but you got used to it. Besides, kind people watched you while he was gone. Sometimes, a cat would just sit on the window and watch you when you were alone. She would let you pet her while Remus went on day trips to get his own medication. You thought it was weird but you couldn’t complain.

For the first time, you had your own room. You decorated it with Remus, too. You folded paper and made little garlands. He gave you some posters from your dad. He gave you lots of Sirius’s stuff, in fact. Your favorite was an old worn leather jacket. It swallowed you up but you would use it as a blanket at night. You imagined your dad wearing it. It made Remus happy when you wore it. So you rarely took it off. You also got lots of photos. Boxes of them. Some were taken from Sirius’s camera, which Remus kept for himself. This time, when you saw some of these photos moving, you learned they weren’t hallucinations. 

When you were old enough, Dumbledore came back. You remembered his kindness so you trusted him fully when he explained to you about wizards and witches. You were sad when you learned of your father and his crimes. Remus tensed when Dumbledore explained this.

Dumbledore told you everything, not even leaving out Remus’s lycanthropy. You never felt frightened. You loved your Remus. (You finally understood why the people that looked after you in his absence called him Moony.) For the first time, you weren’t afraid when you learned about a new school for you. Hogwarts was a magical school. One without doctors or therapy trials. You were excited to go and you would count the days to receive your acceptance letter.

The only upsetting thing, surprisingly, was when you realized that you weren’t a psycho. 

That you never hallucinated or needed therapy. 

You didn’t need to go through all of that testing.

The homes, the abuse, the scars and bruises.

You bled for nothing.

You weren't a kid who needed to be hit, you just needed a parent.

When he saw the look on your face, Remus became upset at this. He didn't like to think about what you went through. Didn't like thinking about the time before you were a silly, crazy kid. When you were small and bruised and looked like a caged animal. Like a wild dog.

Remus wiped his cheek.

You were mad. Mad at your teachers and doctors and previous foster parents. You were mad at your dad. Very mad at your dad. He couldn’t be there for you so you suffered. It’s his fault you were a wizard, it was his blood that made you be this way. It's him who made you see these things, so you blamed him.

Remus told you stories about Sirius to try to reassure you about your father. That he was good. He was funny and bright and just like you. It didn’t help though. You still resented Sirius. Maybe he wasn’t a killer, but he wasn’t there for you like he should have been. You heard stories of his family and friends. How he was a prankster. You loved to hear stories about him. Not because of your affection for your father, though.

You liked to hear stories of Sirius because Remus was happier talking about the past. He looked younger and brighter, a weight lifted when he told his stories. He darkened when you asked where his friends were; where Lily and James were. (You got him to tell you the full story a year later. He was adamant that your father wasn’t a killer. You agreed. Sirius Black wasn't guilty. After all, your Moony wouldn’t speak so fondly of a murderer.)

When you turned eleven and your letter for Hogwarts finally came, you were sad to leave. You were given a magic wand from Dumbledore which you were very scared you were going to break. You got books and supplies, all from the headmaster. You even got a nice letter from the cat who would watch you sometimes while Remus was away. This confused you. Apparently she taught there. (How a cat could teach a class at a school, you had no idea) This made Remus chuckle. "Good old Minnie." He murmured. You had no clue who Minnie was.

You packed up your bags and trunk. (which took a lot longer than it had in the past) and you went with Remus to the famed platform where a train would take you away to Hogwarts. You were scared. You didn’t want to be sent away again. Remus was reassuring, holding your hand the whole time. Even as you heard the train approaching the station. You noticed the looks people gave the two of you.

People who knew the tragedy of The Marauders, people who thought they knew the loss. Remus shrugged it off. “Just people I haven’t seen in a while, kid. Don’t think too much about it.” 

  He gave you explicit instructions. He showed you a newspaper and pointed to the boy on the cover. He was scrawny and he wore wire framed glasses. He had stringy brown hair. Harry was his name and Remus told you to find him quickly and become his friend. He was James and Lily's son.

He said you’d do each other some good; being tied together by the fraying strings of a friendship so close, it may have been a family. Harry was alone and you understood being alone. 

The train whistled, signalling the need for students to board. You looked at Remus and you started to cry. He pulled you into a hug. You didn’t realize he was crying too until you felt the wetness of his tears against your shoulder. He sniffed as he held you tightly. He loved you. He was just as much your father as Sirius was.

As he held you, he thanked whatever was up in the universe for sending you to him. He was on the brink of giving up when Dumbledore urged him to come save you from the terrible institution. Your childlike chaos filled the halls of his home that were once stuffy with grief. He once prayed and wished that he could look into Sirius’s eyes again - to hear his laugh. You gave him that. 

“Okay, kid” He pulled back from you and put his hands on either side of your head, kissing your hair with his eyes shut. You cried, looking up at him. He clutched onto Sirius’s leather jacket, Pulling it over your robes. It was still big on you but it wasn’t blanket sized anymore. Merlin, he really didn’t want you to leave. 

“Will I ever see you again, Moony?” You sobbed, looking up at him. You were desperate not to leave. 

His heart cracked. You thought he was sending you away for good. He said your name with a sniff, hugging you as another tear slipped “Oh, my dear of course you will. You’ll be home for Christmas, I promise.” He looked at you with an intensity, memorizing your little face before he had to say goodbye. With one last tight hug and a kiss on the head, he sent you off and watched as you scuttled into the train. 

Once on board, you were met with so much energy. Older and younger kids in a bustle of movement. You had never seen so many children so happy. Sure, you met kids at your past institutions but they were never lively. All of them were as beaten down as you used to be. But these kids, all dressed in robes like your own were joyful. You walked nervously down the line of compartments, Remus’s words looping through your mind. Harry Potter, just find Harry. He’ll be your friend. It’s in your blood. 

You passed some menacing kids in dark robes with green. They were calling other kids on the train names that you didn’t understand but you decided that you wanted to stay under their radar. You saw a couple of teenagers bullying a younger boy holding a toad. You decided then that you didn’t like those people wearing green. They all seemed dreadful.

After you passed all the horrible green-robed students, you were frantic to find an empty compartment. All of these kids already had friends. Your only friend was Moony, you didn’t know the first thing about meeting other people. Eventually you found an empty compartment and you sat down alone. You held on tightly to the leather jacket over your robes, knuckles white as you watched the landscape pass.

You were used to the silence, the hum of the car relaxing. But you didn’t get much time to revel in your lonesome because the compartment opened and a small boy stepped in shyly. The one kid on the train that you knew. 

He was thin with unbrushed hair. He looked like the man in some of Sirius's polaroids, you thought. Except his eyes. They were a stunning green.

“Is it okay if I sit with you?” He asked, pushing up his glasses, the nosepiece held together with tape. You nodded. “I’m Harry. Harry Potter.” He held out his hand for you to shake, which you took, greeting him as he sat down. He was just as nervous as you. But he seemed happy, excited.

You were just dreading being away from the only home you’ve known.

“It’s nice to meet you,” You said after you introduced yourself. “I was told to try to find you.” Harry was worried. He thought you’d barrage him with questions about the Dark Lord or ask him confusing questions that he didn’t understand. But instead you smiled nervously. “Our dads were best mates when they were in school.” 

Harry smiled. 

AAAH, if you read this far thank you. i really think this could be a cool series and i like how i'm planning to write the characters.

please tell me if you like this and if I should write the next chapter that's been brewing in my mind cauldron.

peace and love <33

(likes are appreciated but i'll fall in love with you if you reblog)

[imjustherefortheshipping]

Sirius is so obvious with his feelings, he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve and is constantly glancing at Remus with the most besotted expression

Everyone can see it - except Remus because his brain immediately goes static as soon as he looks at Sirius and all he can think is “pretty pretty pretty”

[randommmthoughts]

Wolfstar - Somewhere in between friends and dating

One night, Remus discovers Sirius relaxes totally when getting head scratches. He now uses that at every opportunity to get Sirius to calm down, or to tease him.

[blueironywrites]

Title: Longing

Rating: M

Summary: Remus and Sirius really are two sides of the same coin when it comes to their feelings.

Word count: 272

May prompts from @wolfstarmicrofic. Chosen prompt: mutual pining

**********

"You want me to what?" Remus turned to Lily in horror.

She could not be serious. She could not have honestly suggested that Remus go over and confess his feelings for Sirius.

Shy, awkward, chocolate-obssessed Remus who always has a nose in his book and too many scars to count, should go and confess his feelings for Sirius. Sirius, whose eyes shone when he threw his head back in laughter, whose smile could make Remus's heart skip a beat, whose shirt had fallen open to reveal the smooth skin of his collarbone that made Remus want to walk over and...

Remus flushed.

"Just forget it," he said, sadly. "He'll never think of me that way."

He continued staring across the room at Sirius, who was deep in conversation with James, and ignored the long sigh next to him.

+++

"I could never do it, Prongs," Sirius said as he contemplated what James had asked him to do.

How could he confess his feelings to Remus? How could he, reckless, dangerous, broken, most-detentions-in-a-month Sirius speak his heart to Remus?

Remus. Kind, beautiful Remus, whose raspy voice made Sirius's heart race, whose eyes shone when he smiled, whose mussy hair had a stray curl hanging loose that made Sirius want to walk over and...

Sirius flushed.

"He only sees me as his best mate," he said, miserably.

Sirius continued to stare longingly across the common room at Remus, absently hearing James let out a long, slow breath.

+++

"How can they be so stupid?" Lily asked James in wonder, later that evening.

James laughed. "They've been this way for years. You eventually get used to it."

[starchaserdreams]

My fics on AO3

Alright, so I deleted my AO3 account a few months ago (thinking I was done with this) and orphaned all of my works. Well, now I deeply regret that. But I have collected as many of them as I could find here for anyone who's interested.

Jegulus/Starchaser

Temptation Eyes - 77k. My Jegulus Regency AU. James enters the London season hoping to find a wife. What he finds instead is Regulus Black, and he never looks back. But as implied by the era, it won't be easy for them. Background wolfstar, shown as a different approach to a queer relationship in the regency era.

Get Regulus Out - 82k, Rated M, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Working Through Trauma, No War/Riddle AU, background Wolfstar, background Marylily. James tries to convince Regulus to leave Grimmauld Place as Sirius once did, and save himself from his parents.

How to Spot Signs of Jealousy - 4k, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, miscommunication. After Regulus gets fed up with people asking him out because of his family name, he and Barty agree to fake date. For some reason, James Potter seems livid...and Regulus can only guess that it's because he's homophobic. That's got to be it, right?

But Where's Regulus - 1k. James on laughing gas after getting his wisdom teeth taken out and talking about how much he likes Regulus

Waking Up Slowly - 2k. James wakes up in bed with Regulus in the Gryffindor dorm, something Sirius might not take kindly to.

I've Read Your Book - 1k. Two one shots based on the same premise: Writer!James didn't even know Regulus knew about his book, let alone had read it, but Regulus comes up to him and says "I've read your book" aka the most exciting words of all time to start a conversation for a writer.

Little Ball of Fire - 1k. Regulus gets into an argument with Snape. Regulus begins threatening him, so James picks Regulus up and carries/drags him out of the room before anyone gets hurt.

Prongsfoot/Bambibelle

What's in a Name - 5k, Soulmates AU, secret crush. In a world where soulmates exist and can identify each other by the feeling they get when they say each other's names, it's pretty easy to identify who your soulmate is. But for Sirius and James who only call each other by their nicknames, it takes a while to finally know.

The Bachelorette - 15k, mutual pining, Bachelorette AU. Sirius and James are both cast as contestants on the Bachelorette. Although their stated goal was to woo Lily and capture her heart, they don’t quite manage it. They fall for each other instead.

A Real Marriage Under Wizarding Law - 6k, mutual pining, fake/pretend relationship, drunken shenanigans. Sirius and James get a quickie drunken marriage in Knockturn Alley. When they wake up in the morning, they decide not to get it annulled so that they can save Sirius from an arranged marriage.

The Only Transfer Students to Ever Come to Hogwarts - 9k, arranged marriage, hijinx, angst with a happy ending. Sirius is upset to learn that not only does he have to transfer to a new school, but his parents have set up an arranged marriage for him. James assures him that's impossible, but Sirius knows his parents don't make empty threats. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

The Smell of Water - 4k, Amortentia, idiots in love. Sirius and James argue about what they're smelling without realizing that there's Amortentia in the room. When Sirius realizes, he becomes a whole mess about it. (Written for Prongsfoot Bingo)

The Prongsfoot Seer Chronicles - 5k. A Seer who specializes in romantic predictions opens up a shop in Hogsmeade during the Marauders' 7th year at Hogwarts. Four standalone one shots.

One Too Many Times - 2k. Sirius Black and James Potter have been pining for each other for a long time and it's getting bloody annoying. Remus Lupin suddenly finds himself at his wits end and he can't hold it in anymore. But he isn't the only one with the urge to tell the truth all of a sudden. (Remus POV)

Broom Closets are for What Exactly? - 3.5k. What could two people be doing in a broom closet? It's probably not what you're thinking.

The Quietest Birthday - 1k. The Marauders have always been big on birthdays. Lily finds it highly suspicious when Sirius and James disappear for the entire day on James' birthday...they have to be up to something. (Lily POV)

As Good As It Gets - 200 words. In September of 1978, James and Sirius promise each other that they'll sit together at the next Quidditch World Cup. But life doesn't always go according to plans.

The Whole "Friendship" Thing - 17k. If James was sorted into Slytherin and Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, I'd like to think that they'd still come together somehow. There's nothing to bring them together like pranks.

Wolfstar

Wolfstar Microfics Theme: Love - 8k, a collection of 22 microfics themed around love

6x James Found Out, and 1x Harry Did - 10k. Six ways James could have learned about Sirius and Remus' secret relationship, and one way Harry could have learned about it. *This is specifically ATYD fanfiction, and it's set in that universe.

The Scents We Know in Our Bones - 6k. Alternate Universe where in HP3 Remus encourages Sirius to take his desire for vengeance in a much more civilized direction, and Sirius finally gets to live out his childhood cave-dwelling fantasy.

Is There a Problem, Padfoot? - 5k. In All The Young Dudes, after Christopher Barley asks Remus out, Remus flippantly tells Sirius what Christopher just said, then says he's kidding and lets Sirius off the hook. But what if he didn't? (ATYD fanfiction)

Jily

Whispers of Lilies - 2.5k. Someone is coughing up flower petals, and not just any flowers, but lilies. Someone is truly in love with Lily Evans. It couldn't be James Potter because his love was never serious, right? Lily Evans needs to find out who it is, and fast, as the person gets sicker and sicker.

Gen

Thank Merlin for Sirius Black - 2k. Sirius may not have trusted Remus, but James certainly did. It's a fix it fic that doesn't fix everything, but it fixes enough. I think James would agree. ***Author's Note: Other than Temptation Eyes, this is my personal favorite thing on this list.***

Owl Post: The Day the Hogwarts Letters Arrived - 9k. The day that the Hogwarts class of '78 received their Hogwarts letters by owl post. Seven one shots, one for each of the Gryffindors.

[birdy-anne]

"When Tonks showed up again with tea and Remus thanked her with that warm smile, Sirius felt it all over again. And honestly? He wanted to roll his eyes so hard they’d get stuck in the back of his skull. For the first time in his life as Padfoot, he genuinely regretted not having fleas—he would have loved to leave a few in Remus’s sheets."

Someone is being jealous ❤️‍🩹 Read more on AO3

[15hopes]

jily happens- late 5th year. james has pined after lily for forever, and she finally reciprocates. they are wonderful. it is safe and healthy and loving and they are HAPPY.

wolfstar also happens- it comes to fruition a little later, about 6th year. and sirius and remus are loving and healthy and safe and they are HAPPY.

but-

no.

if they don’t name it, if they don’t ever acknowledge the amorphous thing growing between them, then sirius and james will be fine. they love their partners. adore them. truly.

and it doesn’t feel like cheating, really it doesn’t, if sirius rests his head on james’ thigh. if when sirius has nightmares, he crawls into james’ bed and they wake up intertwined. and sometimes when he doesn’t have nightmares. if his signature biting wit takes a bitter turn against lily- well, it’s only in his head, he would never insult her out loud, and he hates himself for even thinking it. it’s not even true. if he compliments james’ arse a little enthusiastically, surely no one will read into that. they’ve been this way forever. all things reasonably excused within the realm of Best Friendship, he tells himself.

and james doesn’t stop him. james, for his part, takes a soft and secret pleasure in the shiver up his spine when his best friend’s raven hair is splayed out on his leg. braids sirius’ hair before quidditch games. notices each moment remus is distracted or brusque in sharp strikes of indignation, keeps uncharacteristic count in his head (and out loud, to lily. and sirius. it’s really not in his head at all) because how dare anyone not give sirius black their full attention -! james tucks each almond-slivered moment in the back of his mind, to be unfolded only when he’s so tired he doesn’t care enough to think about whose name slips out of his mouth in the shower.

their closeness, their possessiveness, is easily laughed off. they’re best friends. they share a brain. of course they’re close, of course they need each other like air to breathe. of course it’s hard when your best mate starts spending time with someone else. it’s normal. it’s natural. would be concerning if they didn’t feel this way, really.

and if either of them looks a little long, sighs near-imperceptibly in the Quidditch locker room, it goes unacknowledged. because james DOES love lily. and sirius DOES love remus. neither of them want anything to change, necessarily, but.

if they never cross the line, they both wonder, does it matter? does it count?

[yallthemwitches]

A soft silence falls over them, strangely comfortable given the circumstances. She can feel his heartbeat against her forearm, a defiant thump thump thump that serves as a reminder that yes, you are in his bed with his hand over your body and his face unreasonably close to yours.

Been reading 'The Last Enemy' by CH_Darling ( if you haven't read it go NOW) and it has put me in a severe 'mutual pining but make it teenage idiocy' mood so I cranked out this little 1.2k word piece. Please enjoy pure unadulterated fluff (rated T for teenage obliviousness)

Read on AO3 or Under the cut!

Sunlight pours through the gap between the curtains, spilling a line of heat into the otherwise frigid air. Lily grumbles and turns her face to the light, simultaneously enjoying the sensation while hating its reminder of reality. Shifting slightly, she feels another stretch of heat on her lower half accompanied by a particular pressure–a fleshy, bony, human one. 

She blinks her eyes open and two golden brown orbs peer back, the sunlight catching on his long eyelashes. 

Oh god. 

“How long have you been staring at me?”

It comes out as a whine, hovering somewhere between embarrassed and exasperated. Now fully awake, she recognizes that the heated pressure on her lower hip is in fact related to the aforementioned pair of eyes—more specifically a rather toned arm in which the accompanied hand drapes idly onto her back so the fingers press into her skin. 

“M’not staring,” he murmurs back, eyes darting to some other part of the room as proof, “Don’t have my glasses on–can’t see even if I wanted to.”

“You aren’t blind,” she huffs. “Obviously you can see that I am in front of you, laying here…uh–”

Suddenly, that line of thought feels hazardous. 

“Yes, ok. You caught me,” he admits, the mischievous glint in his eye more pronounced without his glasses, “--but only because I’ve awoken to find a red, human-shaped blob taking up half of my pillow and assumed Sirius stuffed a pack of fire slugs next to me.”

“So I resemble fire slugs then—you really know how to woo a lady, don’t you?”

James grins and a twinge of red blankets his cheeks. “Evidently it comes natural.”

She knows she should move, gently push his arm off her midsection and pick herself out of bed, James’ bed, but the room is so cold and the pillow so soft, and her body perfectly relaxed with no rush….

“I guess I should apologize now, while you are still too groggy to be angry at me,” James says, pulling her mind back. Lily crinkles her forehead.

“Apologize for what, you actually did me a favor. The common room couches are deceitfully uncomfortable to sleep on, and god knows I wasn’t going to try to enter my room after—-you know.”

He does know, because the whole bloody school probably did by this point: the quidditch party devolving into a loud screaming match between Sophia McCloud and Marlene Mckinnon, the throwing of drinks, the loud slamming of doors and locking charms barring anyone (dorm mates  included) from entering the sixth year girls’ room. 

“Yeah well,” James starts, his batting eyelashes making him look sheepish—but not cute, and certainly not attractive in an endearing, sweet sort of way. “I had truly meant to transfigure one of the pillows into a cot for you but I guess the firewhiskey and perpetual sleep deprivation caught up to me quicker than I expected.”

His eyes shift again, this time down her neck before snapping back to her face, cheeks blazing harder than before. Can’t see, my ass. But the action gives a sudden pang to the gut, reminding her that she also had let the firewhiskey get away from her and maybe she was in less form than she thought. 

Peering down, she gives an audible sigh of relief to see she is still in her clothes from the night before–Thank merlin, christ almighty. But just the same, her dress for the evening had been a little muggle number that gave less to the imagination than her stuffy school uniform– and judging by James’ vantage point he probably was able to get a decent view down the V in the neckline. 

“Well anyways,” she says, shifting to fold a hand across her chest between them. “It was nice of you. I’m sorry for any pillow stealing that might have occurred in my slumber.”

A soft silence falls over them, strangely comfortable given the circumstances. She can feel his heartbeat against her forearm, a defiant thump thump thump that serves as a reminder that yes, you are in his bed with his hand over your body and his face unreasonably close to yours.

“So, what do we do now?” She doesn’t know why she whispers it—maybe, if she is being honest with herself, because a deep dark part of her wishes she didn’t say anything and could fall back asleep with him just a little bit longer. 

“Well,” he clears his throat, eyelashes doing that thing again that makes her definitely not want to lean in and press her lips to his eyelids, “Don’t quote me on this, but I think the general idea is: you wake up, lift yourself off the mattress, place both feet on the floor, force yourself into a standing position, then—”

“Nevermind, forget I asked,” Lily groans, trying and failing to suppress a giggle. Her head leans forward and taps into his collarbone, just as warm and stable as the arm still still! wrapped around her. 

“Any chance we will be able to walk away from this without an avalanche of gossip?” She feels him stiffen against her. 

“Er–unfortunately not. Though I’ll do my duty to say nothing happened if you do—because that’s what happened—nothing. Just helping a friend, nothing more.”

The ever increasing clang in his chest makes the repetition of the word nothing feel wildly unconvincing despite it being the truth. 

“Ok, so how about we don’t talk about it instead—it’s none of their business anyway,” she says, a flush crawling onto her face.

James goes quiet again and the heat from his chest starts to lull her eyes shut. She can feel a small indent in the mattress where he must usually lay and lets the image of him splayed out in his bed swirl in her head: his hair sticking in all directions, night shirt riding up, mouth slightly agape—

Nope. Bad idea. 

“Hey Evans?” His voice travels as though coming out of a vast tunnel. The smell of sweat and spice willing her to nuzzle deeper—definitely not a smell she wishes she could bottle forever.

A tiny, more coherent part of her waits for him to call again, but she is greeted with only silence. The arm around her waist trembles, making a hesitant decision before pulling in tighter, pressing strong, stable finger pads into the bit of exposed skin found there. Being between the weight of his hand and the cocoon of his chest feels safe and only as the dancing images behind her eyelids fade and sleep takes her again does she have the epiphany that what she is experiencing is the sensation of being held. 

Under the depths of sleep, her hand uncurls into the front of his shirt, a reciprocation in the smallest of senses. Another pressure appears against the top of her head as his lips linger there, sweet and soft and over sooner than she would like.

 For a moment her coherent side rears up, urging her to tilt upwards enough to catch his lips before they drift away, but it's already too late. Another missed opportunity in their shared comedy of errors. 

Later they will step out of bed into the sunlight, face the day and the questions of berating friends and gossip. They will say it was nothing—a favor among friends, an act of necessity. But for now, she lets her walls crumble, grow flimsy and crack with years of service.

 Free of obtrusion she basks in the afterglow, the rise and fall of his chest now the rhythm of the universe; a constant beat in which she hopes to never lose time. 

[lulublack90]

Prompt 12 - Mutual Pining

@wolfstarmicrofic May 12, word count 618

Remus sighed deeply as he watched Sirius jumping across the Gryffindor table during lunch, scattering tureens of peas everywhere as he tried to escape Lily and her wand. 

“Not fast enough, Black!” She called and then Sirius was hiccuping bubbles. Remus sighed again. How could anyone still look as good as Sirius did with bubbles escaping from their lips? It made his heart ache to think how much he wanted to be with Sirius. To stroke his fingers along those sharp cheekbones. To taste his lips. To feel the muscles he knew lurked beneath Sirius’s robes. But Sirius was his best friend, and he knew he should stop thinking about him in that way. But he couldn’t. 

Sirius sulked for the remainder of the afternoon, and after a quick trip to see Madam Pomfrey, the flow of bubbles from his mouth stopped. 

“I told you not to keep going, mate.” James snorted as he patted his head. “You don’t mess with Evans.” 

James had been entirely unhelpful in his argument with Lily Evans. He hadn’t even cared that it was about his things being all over the common room. He would have gladly picked them up and apologised. It was that she’d ordered him to pick them up. Her tone had been exactly the same as his mother's, so he’d responded as such. However, his mother had never made bubbles spew from his mouth, so they differed there. He wasn’t going to pick up his quills and parchment though, on principle. 

Remus was sitting in front of him in charms, so Sirius stared longingly at him, trying to take his mind off everything else.

Remus was rubbing the back of his neck, trying to loosen a knot. The full moon was only a few days away and Sirius knew how sore he got. 

Sirius wanted nothing more than to get his hands on Remus’s neck and massage the pain away. But Remus would never allow that. 

He’d kept a distance between them since the beginning of the year, and it was breaking Sirius’s heart. He’d secretly been in love with Remus for a while now and not being allowed near him made him want to pull his hair out. Maybe he’d just try his luck later and massage Remus’s neck like he wanted to. 

Remus was uncomfortable. He couldn’t quite get the right angle or pressure to relieve the knot in his neck. He’d gone upstairs hoping a bath would help. But it hadn’t. He sat on his bed leaning as far forward as he could, his fingers uselessly pressing the wrong spot. 

The dorm room door opened and Sirius walked in. Remus watched as Sirius came closer and hopped up behind him on his bed and propped himself up on Remus's pillows. Remus tried to turn, but Sirius wrapped his arms around his chest and hauled him against his own. 

“Sirius!” Remus protested. But then Sirius got his hands on Remus’s neck and all the protest left him. He groaned loudly at the perfect pressure Sirius’s fingers exerted. The knot soon came loose, and he collapsed back onto Sirius’s chest, ignoring his own rules about not revealing how much he wanted to be like this with Sirius all the time and just enjoying the moment. He held in a sigh as Sirius's fingers accidentally stroked down his arm. 

Too soon, James came bounding in, closely followed by Peter.  Sirius carefully extracted himself from Remus and went to brush his teeth. Remus could have sworn he saw a happy smile creeping across Sirius’s face, but he didn’t think any more about it as he relaxed into his bed. For the first time in two days he was comfortable. 

[k-lea7]

yall don’t understand the chokehold jegulus has of me. what do you mean i see a game board/ children’s section and a silent study room next to each other and think about how james wanted to spend more time with regulus so he would go read to the kids while regulus studied. BUT THEY BOTH WOULD STEAL GLANCES!! like james would look over and see regulus biting the end of his pencil and when regulus would look at james reading to the kids he would be so affected by how patient he was with them and realizing how patient he is with regulus too!!

[musicalbl00m]

Imagine #2: Confessing your love to them.

wordcount: 590

Love confession to your friend while he gets ready for a date

not beta-read

“You sure I look alright, sweetheart?” he asks, running his fingers through his hair again. “It’s been so long since I’ve been on a date.” He mumbles.

Instead of replying, you are contemplating your whole existence. You’ve been in love with him for as long as you’ve known him, and for a while you thought the feeling was mutual. But alas, you didn’t have the balls to confess, and he hasn’t done so either. So, here you are, giving the boy you loved with your whole heart advice for his date with another girl.

Being so lost in thought, you didn’t notice his confusion at your silence. He knew you’ve been having a little rough time lately, but you haven’t been yourself for a few days. For a second he contemplates if its because of his date, but he quickly dismisses that thought.

“You know, if you’re not feeling well you don’t have to stay here. Its late and I know that you usually like to go to bed early. I don’t want to keep you up. I’m a big boy, I can handle myself.” He says earnestly.

You sigh softly, before looking up at him. He spots the pained look in your eyes and walks over to where you are sitting on his bed. Carefully, he cups your cheeks and looks at you with a gentle gaze.

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours, sweetheart? You’ve been awfully quiet.” He asks softly, his thumb caressing your skin.

“I just…” you say hesitantly, looking into his mesmerizing eyes. “Are you sure you want to go on that date? She just… doesn’t seem like your type.”

“I don’t know, I just thought it was time for me to get out there you know. Is the date really what’s bothering you? Do you know her from something? Did she hurt you?” He asks, worried at the thought of someone hurting you.

“No not at all! She seems lovely.” You say hurriedly. “I guess I just always hoped… that I had a chance or something. I know its silly but…” You don’t finish your sentence immediately, trying to see his reaction, only to see him patiently waiting for you to finish. “I always hoped that at the end of the day it would be me you came home to, you know. That I’d be the one you kissed. And for a while I had hope that you felt the same, but I just got too insecure I guess.” You confess, closing your eyes as if to shield yourself from the possible rejection.

He lets out a soft chuckle, before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “You know, you have nothing to be insecure about sweetheart.” He says softly. “You are so incredibly kind, and creative. You are smart and helpful. You are beautiful and so incredibly fashionable.” He tells you with a cheeky grin as he tugs on the hello kitty sweatpants you are wearing. “You are everything a guy could want and much more. And I’ll be yours in a heartbeat, sweetheart. I just need you to say the words.” He confesses to you, looking into your eyes with a soft gaze.

“I am so incredibly in love with you. I have been forever and ever. Please let me be yours.” You tell him, almost begging.

“Took you long enough.” He teases, before connecting your lips in a soft kiss.

“I am so utterly in love with you too, sweetheart.” He mumbles, before continuing to press soft kisses to your lips.

[got-the-cheese-touch]

More than a name - teaser

HARRY POTTER x SIRIUS BLACK'S DAUGHTER! READER

PROLOGUE HAS BEEN POSTED! CHECK MY PAGE :)

slow burn. this follows Harry and readers time at hogwarts together, i'll try to be as canon as I can but they'll be some changes. this will have some wolfstar undertones (idk if they end up together, we'll have to see) as well as some dark themes bc y'all, reader has some trauma i fear. i'll put specific content warnings on each chapter release

no use of y/n (yippee)

an: PLEASE GET HYPE FOR TS, i'm so scared to post my writing. literally this has been in the works for a WHILE and if it flops, i'll delete it and crash out. don't fail me my minions ILY, enjoy this little trailer. probably releasing the prologue later tonight. word count is looking to be around 4k words.

this is super brief, i'm just testing the waters to see if this gets engagement or interest. (THANK YOU ILY ALL!!!)

ty to @thecutestgrotto for the dividers <3

(lmk if you want a taglist)

Sirius Black is an enigma. He’s a prisoner, a flirt, a menace, a marauding crook, a legend.

Sirius Black isn’t a fond story; rather a cautionary tale for little pure-blooded boys and girls who disobey their parents. He's a warning to the people brave enough to stand up against the Dark Lord.

Sirius Black is a name that rings through your ears and a face that is reflected when you look in the mirror. 

After all, you have his smile. 

His nose. 

His eyes.

Sirius Black, technically, is your father. But since you’ve never met him, all he is to you is a name.

The name your professors mutter after you’ve done something wrong. The name that you see in the inside cover of the library books, ones checked out years ago. His name is scratched into the side of the rocking chair in the Gryffindor common room. It’s on the roster of the quidditch team, the same one that won the championship for Gryffindor in the seventies. The last name that is stuck behind your first like dirt under your nails. Eleven letters, four syllables.

You see him everywhere, yet you’ve never laid eyes on the man. But when you attend Hogwarts, and meet a certain Harry Potter, things change.

or

Remus Lupin takes in the scared daughter of Sirius Black and when she is sent to Hogwarts, she slowly falls deeply and irrevocably in love with the boy who lived, the only other person who could understand the struggle of missing a person you don't even know yourself.

[wolfstargazer]

12th May - Mutual Pining - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 421

It was hot. It was airless. The scent of parchment, and dusty tapestries, and sunbaked flagstones clung to everything.

Sirius lay, one hand resting on his stomach, shirt unbutton past his collar bone, listening to the sound of the water of the Great Lake lapping langourously at the shore. His eyes were closed, orange pin-pricked with stars beneath his eyelids, listening as Lily tried and failed to patiently explain it to James one last time.

"I'm never going to get this."

"You will," Lily insisted.

James hmphed and in his mind's eyes Sirius pictured him push his glasses up his nose before he said, "I'm worried that all this cramming is just pushing all the stuff I do know out of my head."

"But maybe if I just explain it one more time..."

"Give it up, Evans. Please do us all a favour and just enjoy the sun."

There was what Sirius interpreted as a furious silence. Sure enough, Sirius opened one eye and saw Lily scowling in his direction.

That was before James reached out, pulled Lily into his arms, and planted an impromptu kiss on her cheek.

Lily's scowl melted despite herself before she laughed and pushed him away.

"Where's Remus anyway?" Lily asked, smoothing down her hair and casting her eyes back up the path towards the castle. "We could do with someone to restore some sense to this so-called study session."

"That's him coming now," James said, nodding.

Sirius felt the tell-tale flutter in his stomach which he suppressed, shielding his eyes from the sun and looking over to where Remus was walking towards them.

He recognised the gait, wide and slightly lilting. He saw Remus' eyes narrow into a smile, wrinkled at the edges, as he spotted his friends at the lakeside and gave a wave. His sleeves were rolled over his elbows. It was so warm that even Remus, who keenly felt the cold, made this concession to the heat. Sirius saw as he drew closer the muscles of his forearms, his skin slightly tanned from the weeks of good weather.

Remus greeted them and sat down beside them. Siririus watched the slight bead of sweat roll from Remus' brow to his cheek and disappear round the curve of his neck. 

Remus turned, sensing Sirius watching, and Sirius passed his hand over his forehead, rubbing his eyes wearily before saying with an affected yawn, "Good of you to join us, Mr Moony. Now test Lily on her Arithmancy before she makes poor Prongs' brain capsize."

[bluedahlia912]

New one shot!

[barty-party]

okay okay

praying this lands on the right peoples for you

i present😁

marauders era texting fic bc muggle technology definitely works at hogwarts

very very gay

and aroace mention☺️

i cant really easily do under the cut for this because its continuous sorry😔

WHERE ARE MY MARAUDERS CHILDREN☹️☹️

[soupyloopyx]

Sirius: omg thats so funny tho lol Sirius: damn comedian in the chat yall Remus: OMG! He agreed with me. Holy shit I’m falling too hard. Haha hard. Fuck, he’s rubbing off on me. OMG LMAOO RUBBING OFF HEHEH Lily: ??? wtf ??? Remus: OH SHIT WRONG CHAT