#maple honeydew

[cashbothqsecretary]

Thinking of that one time Chauffeur picked me up by the neck fluff and started flying and i had to cling to him and why was he so warm is this normal anyway that day was the day The Plutocrat finally signed the thing to make me an official employee so that's cool

[cashbothqsecretary]

Ah. No need.. for now anyhow.

I've been adjusting quite well, I'd say...

i could get used to the ambiance of my office, honestly. So peacefull... just the sound of gears turning, the occasional phone ring, and my tapping of the computer keyboard or writing/stamping documents. So orderly and calm... unlike the noisy streets of the rest of toontown...

H-hello! I'm the new Cashbot secretary.. nice to meet you!

(-@cashbothqsecretary )

Well good morning! Welcome to the company!

My name is Mx Cogsworth, Toonie Cogsworth. Lovely to meet you, i hope you're settling in well. If you ever need an extra hand never be afraid to let me know, I'm always here to help. :)

[morethansalad]

Monochrome Fruit Salad (Raw Vegan)

[naomiknight-17]

Horrible lighting because the overhead light in here is dying but! Made French toast with bacon and fruit salad for dinner which was a very nice treat :)

[chasingrainbowsforever]

~ Honeydew ~

[uneclipsing]

behold! my son

[pralinesims]

Some of my CC faves, makeup + genetics edition!

Yesterday I've posted my favorite accessory CC pieces, today I'm continuing with a few of my most beloved makeup or genetics items.

Eyes | Eyebrows

Dazzling Light // 1. Elodie

Heaven // 2. Trance

Lullaby // 3. Domino

Emotion // 4. Jeffrey

Sweet Lies // 5. Sam

Irene // 6. Lotto

Eyeshadows | Eyeliners

Sagefire // 1. Rem

Macchiato // 2. Hass

Sunny Strawberry // 3. Amusement Park

Ice Queen // 4. Lynx

Dromi // 5. Arabica

Butterfly's Dance // 6. Lovesong

Blushes | Lipsticks

White Peach // 1. Arcana

Star Shower // 2. Underworld

Daisy // 3. Pomegranate Jelly

Cloud 9 // 4. Americano

Wine // 5. Delight

Judith // 6. Salmon

Skin Details | Skins

Maple Freckles // 1. Flower

Lucien Contour // 2. Livia

Aurion Dimples // 3. Honeydew

Faron Monolid Mask // 4. Face Skin Overlays

Jetlag Eyebags // 5. Sunflower

Angelus Nose Mask // 6. Lychee

Random | Artsy

Crystal Lip Gloss Overlay // 1. Perla Confetti

Temza Lashes // 2. Valkyrie Eye Glitter

DIY Eye Kit // 3. Ritual Facepaint

Havoc Scars // 4. Weekend Face Details

LYLC Highlighter // 5. YaYaYa Bandaids

Nylon Faceshine // 6. Going Crazy Face Tattoos

If you like, please consider to support my work 🖤 ● ALL MY CC DOWNLOADS

[ad-caelestia]

planetary botanical correspondences 🌿

including plants, herbs, fruits, vegetables, trees, etc.

[updated 12.12.24]

[☾] moon - acanthus, adder's tongue, agave, alder, almond, aloe, banana, blue hibiscus, broccoli, cabbage, camphor, clary sage, coconut, cucumber, datura, evening primrose, grape, hazel, honeydew melon, honeysuckle, hydrangea, iris, jasmine, jojoba, juniper, kale, lavender, lemon, lotus, mangrove, mallow, moonwort, morning glory, mugwort, mushroom, myrtle, orris root, papaya, peace lily, peach, pear, potato, pumpkin, sandalwood, strawberry, sweet pea, thyme, tomato, turmeric, violet, water lily, watercress, watermelon, white rose, wild lettuce, wild pear, willow, witch hazel, ylang ylang

[⊙] sun - acacia, angelica, ash, balsam, bergamot, birch, buttercup, calamus, calendula, cedar, celandine, centaury, chamomile, cinnamon, citronella, eyebright, frankincense, galangal, gentian, ginger, heliotrope, hibiscus, hops, hyacinth, juniper, laurel, lovage, mandarin, marigold, mistletoe, oak, orange, orris root, palm, peony, pine, poinciana, poppy, rosemary, rue, saffron, st. john’s wort, sunflower, walnut

[☿] mercury - almond, beet, bladderwrack, blueberry, caraway, carrot, cassia, celery, clover, dill, endive, eucalyptus, fennel, fenugreek, feverfew, gotu kola, heather, jasmine, juniper berry, lavender, lemon, lemongrass, licorice, lily, lime, mace, mandrake, marjoram, mastic, narcissus, parsley, peppermint, pomegranate, rosemary, sandalwood, spearmint, sweet pea, valerian, wintergreen, wolfberry (goji berry), wormwood

[♀] venus - adam and eve root, apple, apricot, avocado, banana, beans, bergamot, cashew, cherry, clover, corn, daffodil, daisy, damiana, elderberry, geranium, goldenrod, hibiscus, lady's mantle, larkspur, lavender, lemon verbena, lilac, myrtle, passion flower, passionfruit, peach, pear, pennyroyal, peppermint, plantain, plum, primrose, raspberry, rose, spearmint, strawberry, sycamore, tansy, thyme, vanilla, venus fly trap, violet, yarrow, ylang ylang

[♂] mars - acacia, allspice, basil, bay leaf, black pepper, calamus, cardamom, carrot, cassava, cayenne, chili pepper, chives, cinnamon, coriander, cranberry, cumin, dragonfruit, dragon’s blood, garlic, ginger, hawthorne, hickory, horseradish, hyacinth, leek, mango, mustard, nettle, onion, patchouli, pennyroyal, pepper, radish, red pepper, rue, thistle, tobacco, tomatillo, turmeric

[♃] jupiter - agrimony, alfalfa, alkanet, anise, asparagus, balsam, bayberry, bell pepper, betony, bergamot, blessed thistle, borage, carnation, catnip, cedar, chamomile, cinquefoil, clove, clover, copal, corn, crampbark, endive, eyebright, fig, fir, fumitory, garlic, grapefruit, honeysuckle, hops, hyssop, lavender, lemon verbena, juniper berry, maple, nutmeg, oak, poplar, raspberry, rhubarb, saffron, sage, sandalwood, shamrock, st. john's wort, stevia, tomato, tulip, turnip

[♄] saturn - amaranth, apple, arnica, asafoetida, ash, asparagus, beet, black bean, black cherry, black poppy seed, blackgum, bluebell, comfrey, cypress, daffodil, datura, dogwood, elm, foxglove, garlic, grape, grapefruit, hellebore, hemlock, hemp, henbane, holly, horsetail, lettuce, mandrake, mullein, mushroom, myrrh, night-blooming jasmine, nightshade, oak, pansy, parsley, patchouli, petunia, pumpkin, rosemary, skullcap, snowdrop, spinach, spruce, thyme, tobacco, tomato, valerian, vetiver, willow, winter rose, wintergreen, witch hazel, wolfsbane (aconite, monkshood), yew

[♅] uranus - banana, beet, blueberry, bryony, calamus, carrot, cedar, chamomile, cinnamon, clove, coffee, eucalyptus, fennel, ginger, gingko, guarana, hemp, kava kava, lavender, lime, mango, nutmeg, orange blossom, pansy, parsley, parsnip, pokeweed, sage, skullcap, solomon’s seal, spinach, true unicorn root, valerian, violet, wintergreen

[♆] neptune - ash, asparagus, cantaloupe, celery, cucumber, datura, endive, fern, hemp, honeydew melon, honeysuckle, jasmine, lemon balm, lavender, lettuce, lilac, lobelia, lotus, melon, morning glory, moss, mugwort, myrrh, nutmeg, orange blossom, passionflower, peach, pear, pine, poppy, psilocybin, rhubarb, seaweed, skullcap, strawberry, valerian, water lily, watercress, watermelon, wild lettuce, willow, wisteria, zucchini

[♇] pluto - acacia, anise, asparagus, barley, basil, belladonna, black walnut, blueberry, buckwheat, chives, chrysanthemum, columbine, corn, cypress, damiana, dogwood, dragon’s blood, eucalyptus, fern, fig, fly agaric, foxglove, galangal root, garlic, guarana, hops, kava kava, larkspur, leek, mandrake, mullein, mushroom, nettle, oats, onion, pansy, parsley, passion flower, patchouli, periwinkle, pomegranate, potato, psilocybin, redwood, rye, saw palmetto, silverweed, skullcap, spinach, strawberry, turnip, valerian, vinca, wheat, wormwood, yohimbe, yucca

© 2024 ad-caelestia

[bitterclan]

idk why i made this one so long but i liked so many stuff from this moon... Silkgale failing to impress her papi in law.... Flurry and Maple sister time... Crooked and Popwood!!! HONEYDEW FINALLY JOINING THE CLAN!!!!

[ntls-24722]

Domesticated crops! (and secret not-plants)

This post is more for me and actually putting to paper the things that the Bolur species would eat. I had more fun than I thought I would've.

cw? tw? for unsanitary mentions sorta

Going from top-to-right,

Land Barnacles

Exactly what they sound like. Did you know that Earth barnacles are arthropods? That they're crustaceans? I got inspo from that. Juveniles, like Earth barnacles, are mobile and have very inefficient, blanket-y wings that they will use to one day cement themselves onto the ground, hopefully next to another one of their barnacle colleagues for reproductive purposes. Their abdomens are actually folded so that their anuses are right next to their mouths, because like an aphid, they have a very sugary, liquidy waste that (alongside their floral-looking heads) brings in a lot of bugs for them to eat! When bugs try to feed on their waste, they use the remnants of their tube feet to grab them and eat them.

Zebrapeople cultivate land barnacles in order to drill holes right into their abdomens and harvest their honeydew sewage. It's like a gross version of drilling holes in maple trees for maple syrup. I imagine they view it kind of like hot dogs, so tasty but so grossly made...

Floor Climbers

They're these kind of "flatworms" that eat underwater plant growths and store them in their skin to be able to photosynthesize for themselves. Their blankety backsides is the part of them with the most, so they evolved to completely have that part of them be a solar panel blanket and just walk with their front.... well, they never had legs, but they now have "legs." They're handstanding everywhere

They're invasive little shits that reproduce like rabbits. They're introduced to small, usually music man-made bodies of water in order for them to completely take over, and for the music men to harvest. They're really chewy and savory if you cook them right. Might be a little poisonous if you undercook them, so it's better to burn your climbers than have them medium rare.

Bucca

THATS TUBER, BABY

They evolved that Phat Root in order to anchor themselves in the water. They have flowers at the base of their main stem for bugs that walk on water to pollinate, and to make sure they don't move around too much, their stem and leaves became super aerodynamic to the point it looks like a big red feather coming out of the water.

Amber Tree

MISNOMER. NOT A TREE. LAND CORAL! Sometimes called "cow sails" from the way its topmost "branches" and leaves just hang down over everything like a debu's sail does. Since its branches are thin, its limestone outer layer is at risk of breaking a lot, so it evolved this really thick sap so bugs don't try and take advantage of its downfall.

Except, well, Debu took advantage of its sap. It's a cash crop! Badlands Debu harvest its super thick, fast drying sap to kind of make instant-amber, dipping various things in it to make jewlery. Things like...

Thansum

Imagine if a sunflower, when it got pollinated, became a giant dandelion. That's thansum, the complimentary Debu cash crop to amber trees, which is the most popular thing to dip in its amber. But it's not just a Debu cash crop, it's also used to make paper and cloth for zebrapeople, mostly zebraelves. They crush its seedlings up and add water to make a thansum-meal out of it - if they use more seedling and dry it, it becomes paper. If they use more fluff, then it becomes cloth! Or they can eat thansum-meal straight up if they're desperate. It's not poisonous, but it's a very sad meal, don't eat thansum-meal

Spittle Berries

So, i've been excited to talk about this, because lemme tell you the more popular way that Bolur plants reproduce. Spittle berries are fruits, they are Bolur fruits, but bolur fruits are special - they are the flower, the leaf, and the fruit all at once. The method is that fruits are made through leaves, leaves that're inflated full of gametes covered in a soft shell (think like a pomegranate seed) and fruit "meat", which in turn also colors them a striking (ususally cool) color. When something eats a Bolur fruit, the soft shell that their sperm and eggs were covered in gets dissolved and they meet up together in the stomach. The gametes themselves are made of some gross, hard-to-digest material so that they remain unharmed, and so that they can become embryos by the time whatever ate it passes them through their system, right into some fresh fertilizer that they can grow out of. Spittle berries are the least interesting fruit in that it's just a fruit, but they're a perfect introductory fruit for the weirder ones, like:

Seeing-Squash

The only fruit actively being selected for cuteness! It's also a debu specific - the squash evolved to be eaten specifically by mountain cows since the shell their gametes are covered in are too tough to be digested by most other animal. So if a zebraperson wants to eat, they might want to take those out lest those bigass "seed" gametes gives them blockage.

It's less cuteness, but more "liveliness," if that makes any sense? Looking more and more like a little animal, a little dude. The eyes are getting bigger and the originally modest striping is becoming more exaggerated to look like a spitting monkey.

And finally,

Bempo

The only plant here to have a skeleton. It's the "shrub" version of a land coral where its base will have a dense limestone skeleton for its photosynthetic parts to pop out of, and soft pith to be protected underneath. Bempo actually takes forever to grow, because it takes years for it to build up its "pyramid" base. But when it does, then you are set, because fruit-bearing coral-shrubs like bempo have the shortest growth times for its fruit to the point where you can watch and hear the growth of its giant fruit plates that adorn the top of its base.

Those fruit plates also have a skeleton of their own, but it's only a single "bone," like if a plant had a baculum for its fruit.

[the-habitat-ring]

The (Real) Stardew Valley Farm Update 2024

I’m wrapping up my third year trying to grow everything from Stardew Valley in our yard, with substitutions as needed, preferably with Midwest USA native plants.

I’m continuing to battle the invasive plants (why won’t the honeysuckle and thistles stop?????), beg for truckloads of woodchips (Google decided our address isn’t real anymore), and deal with a body and brain that makes going outside impossible sometimes (the past two years have been rough medically). But despite all of that I still managed to make a ton of progress!

Here’s how things stand as of now. If you’re looking back at previous posts you might notice some differences, but that’s mainly because things I planted died (drought + medical crises don’t bode well for newly established plants). I’ve also added the additional crops from the new update.

2021

Amaranth - Native white amaranth

Grape - Native riverbank grapes (so many grapes). I’m hopefully going to successfully propagate some cuttings from the neighbor’s green cultivated variety

Dandelion - Obviously

Maple Tree - Native silver, red, and sugar maples

Pine Tree - Douglas fir

Apple Tree - Three old apple trees of different varieties in very rough shape. I’ve been working to prune them up and two are looking a lot better. I’d love an Enterprise apple tree at some point

Coffee Bean - Chicory (a naturalized plant commonly used as a coffee substitute)

Salmonberry - Native black raspberries since salmonberries aren’t from around here, although I really want to add raspberries of various colors in the future

Starfruit - Native wood sorrel

Cave Carrot - Queen Ann’s Lace, AKA wild carrot

2022

Kale

Rhubarb

Strawberry - Both cultivated and native

Tulip

Radish

Tomato

Eggplant

Fairy Rose - Native prairie rose

Cranberries - Native cranberry viburnum

Orange Tree -Native persimmons, which produce orange fruit

Daffodil

Spring Onion - Native nodding onions

Spice Berry - Native spicebushes

Wild Plum - Native plums

Crocus

Cherry Tree - Native black cherries and nonnative bush cherries

Banana Tree - Native pawpaws, which are also known as Indiana bananas

Sweet Gem Berry - Native Juneberry (Downy Serviceberry)

2023

Garlic - Native wild garlic

Blueberries - I planted three varieties and only one survived. Don’t shortcut your bed preparation, friends

Wild Horseradish - Not wild, but contained with my mint

Hops - Teamaker hops which is good for tea since we’re not alcohol fans

2024

Blue Jazz - Native Ozark Bluestar

Beets

Apricot Tree - Native passionflower vine, also known as wild apricot

Sunflower - Both native and non-native sunflowers

Pumpkin

Cactus Fruit - Native prickly pear cactus

Melon - Cantaloupe

Oak Tree - Native dwarf chinquapin oak, which took me forever to get

Hot Pepper

Palm Tree/coconut - Native palm sedge

Poppy - Native purple poppy mallow, after other native poppies failed. I still want to grow bread seed poppies, though

Corn - Tried some gorgeous colored corn and popcorn that didn’t grow great but they did grow!

Green bean

Hazelnut - They’re supposed to be easy to grow but they do not like me. Third time’s the charm, right?

Carrot

Summer squash

Powder melon - I decided to do honeydew melon because it’s kinda powdery and I don’t really have any other ideas

Planned for 2025 and beyond

Potato

Pineapple - White strawberries (pineberries)

Winter Root - Hopniss, a native root vegetable

Red Cabbage

Artichoke - Native Jerusalem artichokes

Yam

Bok Choy

Leek

Fiddlehead Fern - Ferns do not like me

Blackberry

Crystal Fruit - Probably honey berries, which produce fruit earlier than anything else

Ancient Fruit - Native Aronia berries. They’re blue(ish) and have lots of antioxidants so you live to be ancient

Tea Leaves - Native New Jersey Tea bush. The previous ones were murdered by rabbits

Mango Tree - I thought one of our pawpaws was a variety called mango but I was wrong

Ginger - I want to try growing native wild ginger again

Rice - Native rough-leaved rice grass

Wheat - I have some gorgeous ornamental blue wheat seeds

Summer Spangle - Possibly native prairie lily? I was unsuccessful growing it from seed this year but maybe in the future

Parsnip - I can’t get them to germinate to save my life but one day I will be successful

Sweat pea

Holly - Native winterberry holly

Mushrooms - I'm just gonna ignore varieties and try some plugs or similar

Peach - Vine peach. It’s a melon, and more doable than a tree

Mahogany Tree - I think I’ll resort to mahogany nasturtiums

Broccoli

Pomegranate Tree - I could try Russian pomegranates?

Taro Root - I would have to plant it in pots

Snow Yam - Not actually a yam but maybe native sweet potato vine?

Qi Fruit - Very creepy, not sure what to do with this

Over halfway there! If anyone has suggestions for plants please let me know because I’m still stuck on a few and very open to alternatives.

In other news, I’m making Stardew Valley Fair displays with cross stitch patches for each of the items I’ve added that year. I’ll have to post pics of those at some point.

[doodling-doodle]

Can you give us your ABO headcanons please?

Sure!

(Don't take this as I will make ABO content, Unless I'm given an actual prompt. These are just the headcanons)

Okay, just really quickly becuase I don't know much about ABO, other then the basic, but, a few quick details that I don't know if it's in traditional dynamics

Scents have a generic undertone to distinguish Alphas, Betas and Omegas from each other, but everyone does have a unique scent other then that.

And those scents are: Alphas have a woodsy, natural type smell (this can range from flowers, to herbs, to actual wood. Also maple) betas have a citrus type smell, (lemon, orange, etc) and Omegas have a sweet, dessert smell (can range from cinnamon, to vanilla, to maple syrup. Any sweets you can imagine) and I'm debating a scent for heat and rut

Betas (don't know much about them, so, don't know if this is true) are intersex, and males can get pregnant (a little rare)

Scent blockers hide the scent of heat and rut, as well as the generic scent (mostly used for undercover ops and stealth ops, but people could also use it to hide what they are)

Now, onto the good stuff!!

Price: Alpha, cedar undertone, smokey overtone. Doesn't hide his scent unless in rut or on a mission. Doesn't hide he's an Alpha since everyone knows any way

Graves: Beta, orange undertones, but actually smells like pine (can't get pregnant) hides his scent if he's around other people then his Shadows or the 141, on a mission, or in rut. Hides the Beta status around other Alphas

Laswell: Alpha, Rosemary undertone, but smells like gingerbread. Rarely hides her scent. Everyone knows she's an Alpha, so she doesn't hide it

Ava: Alpha, oak undertone, smells like honeydew. Doesn't have to hide her scent. Doesn't make it known she's an Alpha, but is quick to use it if her friends are being harassed

Alejandro: Alpha, cedar undertone and Thyme. Never hides his scent unless on missions. Won't use his status, for anything. If he needs to stop anything, he does it gracefully. Only a few times has he used it.

Rodolfo: Omega. The man smells like cheesecake and strawberries, and Alejandro loves it. He tends to hide his scent and hides he's an Omega from anyone that isn't known or a friend (anyone other the Los Vaqueros and the 141)

Ghost: Alpha, eucalyptus undertone and a dandelion scent. The eucalyptus is so strong that he literally can't hide it without blockers. Which he always wears. Not to hide the alpha status, per se, but to hide himself

Soap: Beta, lemon undertone and hazelnut scent. Ghost always hovers over him, so, his scent is naturally masked by ghost's when he's around, but, if he has to, he will use blockers. Everyone knows he's a beta, only hides it on missions (can get pregnant? Still being decided)

Farah: Alpha, lime undertone and smokey scent. Doesn't use blockers, its known she's an Alpha

Alex: Alpha, dandelion undertone and honey scent. He doesn't hide he's an alpha, but he won't hesitate to use it to help his friends and Kyle. Blockers are only for missions

Kyle: Omega, maple syrup undertone and rose scent. He tends to hide it, but Alex hovers over him, so those scents mix and mask it. He uses blockers a lot when Alex isn't around, but it's known he's an Omega.

[cashbothqsecretary]

CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS:

Name: Maple Honeydew

Age: 26

Job: Secretary

Departament: Cashbot

RULES

Rules are basic. No sexual topics or comments. No racism/homophobia/transphobia/antisemitism/ableism. Don't be a creep.

Have fun!

-owner of account(@satelite-kun-main)

[morethansalad]

Avocado + Melon + Lime Sherbet (Vegan)

[todaysbug]

October 29th, 2023

Spotted Lanternfly (Lycorma delicatula)

Distribution: Native to parts of China and Vietnam; introduced to Japan, South Korea and North America; found mostly in the northeast, but spreading westward and southward.

Habitat: Usually found on its host plants; its preferred host is tree of heaven, but it can also be found on many other plants such as fruit trees, ornamental trees, woody trees and vines.

Diet: Herbivorous; feed on the sap found in the phloem of plants. Besides their preferred host, other common targets include birch, lilac, maple and poplar, as well as important agricultural crops like soybeans, grapes, stonefruit, cherry trees and apple trees.

Description: The spotted lanternfly is very invasive, and is considered a threat to many important agricultural crops. When it feeds, it pierces the bark of its host plant, forming a wound which may cause pathogens to be introduced into the plant. On top of that, spotted lanternflies also produce honeydew, a sugary substance which attracts other pests such as hornets, wasps and ants, and on which can grow mold. It seems to have a preference for plants which contain cytotoxic byproducts, which makes it toxic when eaten.

In its native range, the local lanternfly population is controlled by parasitic wasps. Unfortunately, it doesn't have any important predators outside of its native range due to its toxic properties. On the bright side, the honeydew can serve as a food source for honeybees, which reportedly produces a pleasant change in the flavor of their honey and brings some resistance to parasitic mite infestations.

(Images by Darrah Lefler (adult) and Stephen Ausmus (nymph))

[thesoapgirl]

teddy

I named him “Teddy” because it felt right and I think I was 7 or so and I wasn’t very original. If I could go back, I would give him a cute name like Honeydew or Maple, but no, I went with Teddy because he felt like the quintessential “teddy bear.” Just, brown. Brown bead eyes, and a brown bow at his neck. I liked him because he was simple and he felt right. He didn’t feel like all of the other cheap stuffed animals I had gotten so far in life. I loved the satin feel of his paws, through which, I could feel the small beads that gave his hands and feet more weight than other stuffed toys. He was balanced, evenly stuffed, proportioned just right, and perfect in my eyes. I can’t tell you what else I got that Christmas morning or who even gifted him to me, but I can perfectly remember unwrapping him and holding him up, my living room light a backdrop for what I believed to be the most perfect stuffed bear. 

Later, I would tell people that I named him after the 26th president of the United States, Theodore Roosevelt, to make the naming seem more profound, like I had taken the time to actually think about the name. I wanted to show off my genius, how I knew the trivial fact of the origin of the name of “Teddy’s Bear.” When I was younger, I felt the need to prove myself, to show everyone how smart I was. But, really, I named him “Teddy” because that is what he looked like. He looked like the perfect teddy bear. 

Later, I would come to terms with the fact that not everything has to be perfect or profound or extraordinarily significant, and naming a stuffed brown bear with brown eyes and a brown bow, “Teddy” is perfectly okay and fine. Not everything has to have meaning. Not everything has to be special and unique. He is just a stuffed brown bear that I named Teddy because I was young and I had object recognition.

He has followed me my entire life. He has lived in many different places; in my bed when I was young and found comfort in safe and warm things that I could hug and talk to. He’s lived in closets when I was old enough to be embarrassed of the things I loved, and in boxes when it was time to move. He spent a whole year in a classroom, near my teaching desk, and now he spends time on my bookshelf or my couch or my desk because sometimes I like to pick him up for a second and put him down somewhere else.  

I have picked him up once again, just now, and I am looking at him more closely, 22 years later. He is still the perfect brown, although a little faded, with brown bead eyes, and a brown bow at his neck, the ends of which I have tucked into the main loop to hide the fact that I chewed on them when I was younger. It gives him a more sophisticated look; he has a bowtie now instead of a bow. We’ve both grown up. He seems lighter now, though, more fragile. 

For some reason, the texture of his fur is different, it has spread in some places, and faded in others, and for some reason the fur around his face now covers most of his brown eyes, making them seem closed. He looks tired, and I empathize with that. Me too, Teddy. I sniff him, and he smells like all things that live in closets and corners and boxes in the dark do. The satin on his paws has started to wear away, the fabric is thinning out, and for the first time, I look at the tag on his bottom, half of which seems to have fallen off as time has passed.

 Here is what I can tell you: the manufacturer is a company called KELLYTOY, located in Los Angeles. His stuffing is polyester and the little beads in his hands and feet are actually plastic pellets, and he was made in China. I can’t tell you what year he was made. I tried googling different combinations of “KELLYTOY” and “brown bear” and “2002,” but I didn’t find him, my Teddy, and that makes him feel more special somehow.

And, now, as I am holding him again, my chest tightens. We’ve both survived this long. He’s a little matted and faded, and well, so am I. I am looking at him again, and I am reminded of the magic I have always believed in. The magic that lives in between the letters of words. The magic that lives in the spaces between pages and kissing lips and deep breaths. The same magic that allows me to convince myself that this stuffed brown bear with brown eyes and a brown bowtie is proud of me. That he’s watched me this entire time, from the boxes and the shelves and couches and desks and he is glad that I am still here.