#mandatory failure
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taleweaver-ramblings · 1 year ago
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There's a new Schlock Mercenary Kickstarter, which means I should probably get busy figuring out what to do with my merch from the last Kickstarter. Besides the book, I got two pins and three Challenge Coins. I've seen people display pins using what is basically an embroidery hoop, and most of them use just fabric (plain or patterned), but, look . . . I'm am embroidery person now. If I'm going to do a hoop, I'm going to make it cool.
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I think this dark blue fabric will be a good choice as far as color — it looks appropriately spacey, and both of my pins show up reasonably well against it. Still trying to decide what embroidery to do, though. I could keep it simple and do constellation patterns, though I'm also possibly doing that with my Cosmere pins, so . . . not sure if I want to repeat that. I could also maybe throw in a planet or two if I went this route? Or Eine-Aifa lineart, though I don't remember if we ever see that in full view.
I could do line art of some of the ships from the comic (probably with the ships on the challenge coins also in the picture). I really enjoy the ship designs in this strip, and this seems like a reasonably straightforward option. Downside: I know one of these characters wasn't on either ship, and I can't remember which ship the other one was on, and I know it'll bug me if I mess it up . . . I could probably resolve this by rereading part of the comic, but then I'll end up rereading the whole comic, and I cannot afford that time right now.
A small, absolutely mad part of me wants to try to do an actual scene of some kind, but the larger part of me that recognizes the limits of my artistic skills is trying to lock the crazy bit in a closet.
I'm also poking at the idea of painting the embroidery hoop, probably in spacey silver and blue. I have paint left over in appropriate colors from when I made a sword and dragon eggs . . .
If anyone has made these before — do you normally use multiple layers of fabric? Fabric and batting? Fabric and felt? I feel like a single layer of fabric isn't enough. (I'm going to look up some DIYs, but I like hearing people's actual experiences.) I have another hoop to finish before I do this one, so I have time to figure out what I'm doing.
Side note — as I said, there's another Kickstarter going on now! They've already met a bunch of the stretch goals, which is exciting. I'm really hoping we can get to 2,000 backers, which would probably blow the minds of the people running the campaign, and I want to see what they come up with as a reward for that. I'll drop a link here if you want to check it out. (You should also go check out the original comics, if you haven't read them. They get so good.)
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immediatebreakfast · 2 years ago
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It's incredible how Frankenstein immediately presented the difference between two styles of knowledge approach when Victor met his two professors.
With professor Krempe, Victor repeats the same mistake of ignoring his words, just like he did with his father's words. Even if Krempe is in the right as a professor to call out that Victor had spent his childhood studying already disproved knowledge, he forgot an important part of being a teacher. To make your students seek the knowledge themselves after you gave them the basics. Of course it's not professor Krempe's fault that Victor spent three days in his room doing nothing, but I do think that he could have worded his suggestions a little bit better. Just a little bit.
Yet, with professor Waldman Victor finally found the thing that he was yearning for. The validation that even if all of the authors and the knowledge that he spent studying in his little youth could not be applied to modern science, they were still important in this pillar of discovery, and their knowledge was not forgotten.
It was really delightful to read how professor Waldman made Victor fall in love with science again. From what it is described to be an amazing lecture of the history of chemistry, to the suggestions that he gives Victor at the end of the chapter. This professor managed to turn around Victor's disgust of modern science to new curiosity with a stern lecture and a few kind words, a feat that only a good professor can do.
It's remarkable to see what directions can do regarding in how to apply knowledge. And it is also very welcome to hear how we simply can't ignore ancient knowledge just because in the present their discoveries are now obsolete. Yes, all of the authors that Victor read were pseudo science who had no basis in real evidence, and at the same time they were the foundation of chemistry. Professor Waldman understands that without the small ambitions of knowledge of the past, we would not have the feats of the present.
Then he proceeds to give Victor an excellent practice of this knowledge in his laboratory, and gives him a list of books that he needs, while telling him that he can't neglect other branches of science if he wants to achieve his goals. No wonder Victor felt so happy at the end of this chapter, he finally found the direction that he needed so badly to dive into what he calls his future destiny.
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ml-goggles · 1 year ago
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quick Solace before bed
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undefeatablesin · 1 year ago
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Finished LoP. Technically.
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thefaultinoursprinkles · 6 months ago
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‘puriteens’ and ‘male loneliness epidemic’ and ‘deaths of despair epidemic’ are like, observations of real issues so it’s rly frustrating when the conclusion is like “if only the puriteens would unpack their cultural christianity!” “if only the men would unlearn misogyny and stop thinking women owe them sex and companionship” “if only everyone had access to therapy” like idk man I just don’t think it’s a personal failing. I don’t think any amount of self reflection or unlearning or therapy is going to eliminate these issues. it’s systematic like we are seeing the extremely concerning and very real impacts of living in a dying empire desperately clinging to power through conservative and regressive public policy while experiencing intense alienation under capitalism and living in the panopticon. individual actions are never going to lead to change if the circumstances that led to the issue developing in the first place don’t change.
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imwritesometimes · 7 months ago
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So like.... what if I had many ideas for cake decorating? And what if I just bought some stuff to make some cute cupcakes? And this cake idea I have had knocking around in my head? And what if I actually tried?
#sooooo here's the thing. I've tried to make stuff (not food) on my own before and sell it#I had an etsy... it didn't uh. go well.#and so. because of past. tanking flaming failures. I am apprehension to try anything ever again. ever.#and then I talked to a financial clown dick last year (mandatory) and he shut down baking real quick#and I think he thought I meant like. full blown bakery space. which like. no. no thanks.#I just wanna make stuff in my house and basically do like? cake commissions?#like hey heres the cakes/cupcakes/candies/etc I offer I have x amount of slots open for the month put orders in a week in advance!#and like. I've THOUGHT abt this. I have thought abt what I'd offer. seasonal menus. like. I've REALLY thought abt it.#and my tax preparer was like financial clown dick is a clown dick there is some money to be made baking#and like because I have extreme like FOCUS ON THIS THING NOW!!! WOOO!!! FULL SPEED AHEAD WITH THIS THING!!!#syndrome#all I've been able to think abt now is decorating cakes & cupcakes#I ordered some stuff. I HOPE HOPE HOPE it arrives in one piece pls god 🤞🤞🤞#gonna make some stuff and see how it turns out#I have a LOT of things I could make though not JUST cake/cupcakes#so idk I'd love to get paid to make desserts & candies. even if it was just like not a TON of profit but some extra cash#to pay bills. maybe have a lil fun money.#gahhhh I'm really in my head abt this and I'm also SO sleepy I'm like hysterical rn#anyway. venting abt it here cause I don't wanna jinx it speaking abt it irl (anxiety is so much fun 🙃)#erin explains it all
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mysoulspiralbound · 2 years ago
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okay okay okay. okay.
ADHD be like: I need to do do this task before I go to bed. therefore I’ll stay up all night on my phone because I have no motivation to do the thing but I can’t go to bed unless I do it.
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ice-ball-again · 2 months ago
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burningcomputerpersona · 3 months ago
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i hate questions where they have two different options on each end of a scale and ask you to pick anywhere in between. like those are not complete opposites and my answer can't be boiled down to a certain point on the scale. either ask me two seperate questions with a yes/no scale each or just don't ask me at all
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ms-demeanor · 5 months ago
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I've been reading so much about rabies and cats and there are so few cat owners who keep their cats up to date on rabies vaccinations and buds please keep your kitty's jabs up-to-date and please please please keep your cats inside and please treat any cat with an unknown vaccination history as a wild animal and don't try to touch it or pet it or catch it.
The most recent survivor of the Milwaukee protocol is an 8 year old girl who contacted rabies through scratches from feral cats that lived in a colony at her school.
Don't touch strange cats even if they're friendly, and teach your kids not to touch strange cats either. (For that matter teach your kids not to touch strange dogs either, but decades of stray eradication and mandatory vaccines means that the US is one of the few places in the world where cats are more likely to be rabid than dogs)
Also did you know that there's one case of transplant-acquired rabies recorded in the US? The recipient got a kidney from a donor who died in an accident and nobody was aware the donor had rabies. The recipient died of rabies, which is a bit of an extreme flavor of graft failure if you ask me. Terrifying!
Anyway. If you, too, want to have nightmares about rabies you can search my website (www.ms-demeanor.com) for "keep your fucking cat indoors" and scroll to the section on rabies and read some nightmare fuel (like the case report on the family that moved across 3 states with their 13 barn cats, unaware that one was incubating rabies).
Did you know that in 1994, 665 people in New Hampshire had to be given post exposure prophylaxis for rabies because of one infected kitten that had contact with a racoon before being brought to a pet store?
The only way animals are tested for rabies is to examine their brain tissue. The animal is killed in order to do this. If your pet is exposed to rabies they stand a much, much, much better chance of being quarantined instead of being euthanized for testing if you have kept their vaccinations current.
Please keep your pets' vaccinations up to date, and please keep your cat indoors. There's a risk of exposure even for indoor cats, so make sure they've got their shots.
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kijagf · 10 months ago
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i'm about to drop biology and commit to a physics degree
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urdadsceilingfan · 2 months ago
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[the journal you see is journal 4, he ripped off the number and fingers out of anger (great another diary edgy edition) ]
After the portal incident Ford fell into a heavy depression making Bill leave him because he got bored, once Ford had gotten a metal plate installed into his skull by a sketchy doctor he eventually got the idea to showcase his life's work so he wouldn't die as a failure. Ford knows he cannot show the real deal to the tourists so he spends his time creating realistic models of the creatures he’s studied keeping him busy. He refuses to have made up creatures like Mabel suggest because he views it as a mockery and scam it reminds him of someone
When the kids came for the summer he gained some confidence and weight after Mabel's much needed "mandatory self care" days. Ford loves both kids to death but has trouble showing it. Sees himself within Dipper resulting in him spending more time with the boy unintentionally separating the twins
After faking Stanley's death with a car crash he drags back the Stanmobile having it fixed and sitting in a locked garage with Ford staring at it for hours at a time repeating the words “he’s gone and there’s nothing I can do”
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tarysande · 1 month ago
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There are a couple more Garrus-Vakarian-related hills I'm willing to die on.
Maybe this particular bit of fanon has faded over the years, but there used to be a lot of insistence that Garrus is young and somehow inexperienced when he meets Shepard. Canon doesn't really support this. Turians start their mandatory service at 15. Garrus has at least a decade of experience. Even if he's 2-4 of years younger than Shepard (according to Patrick Weekes), he's got at least as much field experience as she does by dint of the difference in turian and human "enlistment" ages.
Garrus is really damn good at his job at C-Sec. You don't give the Case of Investigating the Rogue Spectre to a greenhorn. You give it to your best, most tenacious agent. Pallin may not always approve of Garrus's actions, but that doesn't actually stop him from putting Garrus on the tough case. Also, we don't know much about how C-Sec works but we do know a bit about how the turian hierarchy works, and we know C-Sec was essentially a turian initiative. That means it's a meritocracy where failure reflects on the superior, not the one who failed. So, in roughly a decade (Shepard's 29 in ME1; I always think of Garrus as about 27), Garrus has not only done shipboard military service, but he's also risen to be one of C-Sec's top investigators; Pallin wouldn't risk having Garrus's "failure" reflect poorly on HIM otherwise. I'd say that actually makes Garrus as remarkable in civilian law enforcement terms as Shepard is considered to be within the ranks of the Alliance military.
Of course Garrus was scouted by the Spectre program. And honestly, if his dad hadn't stepped in, I think Garrus would have become a Spectre, no problem. Especially for a turian, he's cut from precisely the cloth the Spectres would be looking for: extremely skilled, extremely capable, and--most importantly--he's a turian not just able but willing to work outside the chains of command that turians are taught from birth to revere and be loyal to above all else. This is the reason Pallin is leery about Spectres: he's a good turian. Good turians follow straight lines; they don't carve out their own paths.
Garrus's dad's not dumb, and he's not cruel, and he, too, rose to the top of the C-Sec hierarchy. He took one look at his kid, I think, and said, "I love my child, but I'd say it's a 50-50 chance he ends up a shooting-first-asking-questions-later Spectre like Saren Arterius, and I don't want to see that happen." Yeah, he uses his parental influence to try and jam square-peg-Garrus into round-hole-C-Sec and Garrus resents him for it, but there's no way he did it just to stop his son from getting his way or because he doesn't like Spectres. I expect Vakarian Sr. had to clean up more post-Spectre-interference messes than we can possibly imagine. But we also know he and Alec Ryder were pals later.
So the importance of what Garrus learns from a Paragon Spectre Shepard is this: You can't just do what you want and claim the ends always justify the means. That's what Saren does. Over and over again. Garrus's code and his idealism and his sense of justice and his ability to work alone should make him a great Spectre, actually, but he needs Paragon Spectre Shepard's actions to show him the lesson he tells her he's learned during ME1: "If the people I'm sworn to protect can't trust me... well, then I don't deserve to be the one protecting them." (And the seed of Archangel was planted.) I think for the first time he realizes that even though he believes his sense of justice to be correct, it doesn't matter for shit if he can't show others why that's so. And that's where the trust comes in. (Also, ow, the extra level of importance this gives their exchange where she tells him she trusts him and he tells her she's about the only friend he has left is... a lot. Cool, cool. I'm totally fine. Nothing to see here.)
When Shepard asks him what happened on Omega, he replies, "My feelings got in the way of my better judgement." Something tells me that this never happens to "good" turians, which just makes the line so much more devastating. And although the lesson some might take away from this is "feelings bad; no feelings ever," the "grey" that Garrus has to learn to deal with is precisely the grey of recognizing feelings, validating them even, but not acting on them until they've been examined. (Which is why my Shepard stands between him and Sidonis; she doesn't give a shit about Sidonis. But Garrus has refused to process his own feelings of failure and self-loathing, so they have to take the therapy session to the Citadel and deal with it there.)
Ahh yes. The mountain range of character analysis.
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mysunshinetemptress · 3 months ago
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I Hate Her part two
Part one
Leah Williamson x enemy reader
Warning: Feeling like and outsider, self doubt, Leah being an asshole
A/n: I’m taking a break for the weekend, I’m just to busy to post anything so I’ll see you all Monday
You don’t make the roaster for Tokyo 2020, You wait patiently anxiously by the phone, you haven’t left your house scared that the phone will ring and you’ll either miss it or make a show of yourself in public and when the phone call comes your so happy you decide to stay at home, your told that maybe next you’ll get the chance but for now it’s a no, they just don’t think you're fully ready. You, you who have been on the senior squad since you were twenty, how are you not ready to be a part of team GB? 
How is she, how is Leah good enough to be a part of the Olympic squad and you're not, you got the call-up first to the Lionesses, you have the most clean tackles of the last two seasons of the WSL, you have the most goal scored by a defender of last season, how is she the better choice. 
You’re gutted, gutted as it’s officially announced and you watch the congratulations roll in for your teammates and you can’t help but feel like you're supposed to be there too, to be getting a congratulations instead of “Oh darling I’m so sorry, you’ll get it next time.” 
So when the phone call comes in a month before the team is set to leave for camp and start getting ready for the Olympics you can’t help but feel like a fraud in a sense, this is what you wanted, but not like this, not as a second choice, not when one of your teammates, friends has to pull out due to injury. 
You let out a half-hearted smile under the mask as you greet the social media team “Excited?” You nod “Excited.” You head in getting a COVID test done before moving to get your room allocation. 
You feel lost in camp these girls have known they were going to be a part of this squad for months now but you, you’re the last one in, the final pick, the second choice, and Leah has no problem showing it. 
Leah was the first to make you feel like an intruder. Her eyes once filled with camaraderie, now held a cold indifference. Her snide remarks, subtle digs and subtle exclusion, were like tiny daggers, aimed with precision to erode your confidence. You were a constant reminder of her misfortune, a living, breathing symbol of her failure.
The weight of expectation was suffocating. Every mistake, every missed pass, was magnified under the unforgiving spotlight of the Olympic stage. You were haunted by the fear of letting everyone down, of proving your doubters right. The girl who once thrived under pressure was now paralysed by it.
Nights were the worst. As your teammates shared laughter and inside jokes, you retreated into the solitude of your room. But your room only offered up that solitude during the day, when your eyes closed the same recurring nightmares plagued your mind and fed into the doubt, The medal ceremony played on repeat in your mind, their faces beaming with pride, stood on the podium as you tried to reach it, tried to climb on but a boot always connected with your hand stamping on it again and again forcing you to let go, before laughter erupted from the team, all looking down on you laughing at your inability to make it up, to be good enough to stand on the podium alongside them, the scene changes their names etched in history. And you? You a footnote, “Y/n Y/L/N the one who nearly ruined it for us all.” 
No one understands it, they haven’t tried to push you out, to exclude you (Leah has, her friends have been unexpectedly roped into it). The older girls are worried, your Captains Kim Little, Sophie Ingle and Ellen White can see it, you’re young, far too young to put so much pressure on yourself that you slip away from the group, and so they decide tonight is a team night, a mandatory team night. 
 You’re late, late for the team night and you feel nauseous as you open the door to the common room and everyone turns to look at you, you freeze until a hand grabs yours and you look up to see Ella, Ella, funny, loud Ella, she pulls you along to sit with her and Niamh and you do so quickly. Millie looks at you concerned raising a thumb up to make sure you’re ok, all you can do is nod. 
“Right ladies, shall we play a game.” Everyone lets out a cheer as they discuss what game to play Niamh tries to make conversation “So what’s the plans for summer break.” You shrug “I want to go to  Spain but I don’t know if that’s going to happen.” Ella shakes her head “We are all heading to Ibiza, you should come.” You nod slightly “Who is going.” Ella rattles off the names as the group seems to quieten down. 
Paranoia, is the game you used to play in secondary school, when you were an immature teenager, why this game, who chose this game. You felt your anxiety rise as flashes from your time sitting around the canteen table playing the game passed through your mind. 
You're safe for the start, no one mentions you, although there are slight digs here and there each girl seems to take it with a laugh, there’s nice ones too but still the bad ones always slip through. You don’t get a mention from anyone else but Leah’s best friends.
“Weakest pass” 
“Y/n”
“*****”
“Y/n” 
“*********”
“Y/n”
It was constant,  you laughed it off (forced laugh) when you found out, it was fine you could deal with it until you couldn’t. 
Leah thinks for a minute, it’s her turn again and everything she has said about you so far is only scratching the surface of how much she seems to hate you, she knows what to say she just hopes Keira takes the bait. She leans overhand covering her mouth and Keira's ear, she should know it’s a bad one from Keira's reaction, Kiera knows what Leah wants her to say but this ones mean, really mean, she can’t, not about you, you don’t fit this description, your miles ahead of the younger girls, but she doesn’t know what else to do. “Y/n.”
You sigh, you’re tired, bored even, bored of them choosing you, there are 21 other girls here, why do they keep picking on you? 
You flip the coin and watch as it lands on heads, Keira looks mortified while Leah wears a half smile, she looks proud of the fact you get to find out the question so she doesn’t even give Kiera the chance to “Who’s the worst player on the squad.” 
Your heart plummets, and you look between Leah and Keira, Keira’s eyes flick around the room trying to look anywhere but you, Leah, Leah looks guilty, no her expression changes so quick but she settles with a half smile again. 
You force out another laugh only this one is ten times more broken than the last, Ella grabs your hand trying to comfort you, comfort you about what, Leah’s right, you’re the worst player on the squad. You look around at the rest of your team’s concerned faces and panic you have to say something, otherwise, you’ll come off weak.
“Well obviously, I-I mean I was a second choice.” 
The words don’t have the effect you want and the girls look at you worriedly eyes soft “I think we better call it a night.” 
You play every game Team GB is part of in the Olympics, you help get them to the quarter-finals, you, the second choice, the worst player on the squad, play every game. 
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save-a-forest-ride-a-bear · 7 months ago
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🗒 ꒰⸝⸝₊ General Dating Headcanons ❛ ✧
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Featuring: Astarion, Gale, Wyll & Halsin
# Note: content warning for very brief talk of abuse and general trauma back to navigation ´ˎ˗
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🌿┊ASTARION
Talk about touch and attention starved. This guy wouldn't know a healthy relationship if it hit him in the face. Whenever you're nice to him or touch him without any innuendo, he's on edge. You must want something from him. Why else would you be doing this? It doesn't make sense.
Speaking of which, touching him out of nowhere usually doesn't end well. He has a tendency to flinch. He cackles and says he just thought he saw a bug, "Silly me," but you both know better than that.
He grows used to it, however. It just takes some warming up to. Eventually, the discomfort fades, replaced by a yearning so strong he swore he felt his heart beat again. When his brain realizes you don't want to hurt him and it's safe to be around you, he starts craving more contact. He's too prideful to ask, but he's not good at hiding it, either.
He loves any kind of compliment, don't get him wrong, but the ones that have nothing to do with his appearance seem to stick more. He's heard every single little praise possible for his face and body — but for his personality? For his mannerisms? If it ever happened before, he can't remember it.
Insists he doesn't like cuddling and only does it because you want to. But the one night you didn't, you woke up to him clinging to you anyway. He said he must've done so in his sleep, completely ignoring the fact elves can't sleep. Deception: critical failure.
Surprisingly protective. If you get hurt during a fight he goes ham on the enemy while yelling for someone else to take care of your wounds right now. He lost everything he had after Cazador — lost even himself to the hands of that sick, wicked man. He can't afford to lose you too.
The relationship started with him trying to manipulate you, sure, but that's not the case anymore. He cares. He genuinely cares for something other than himself for the first time in two centuries, and he's scared you still think you're being tricked by his charms. Again, he's too prideful for constant displays of affection, but he does say "I love you" more often than ever. Maybe if he says it enough times, you'll believe it.
He stares a lot. There's just something so endearing about seeing you in your own little world, oblivious to everything else, or at least oblivious to his gawking. It's the most honest part of you, the most yourself you could be, and he enjoys it from afar.
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🌿┊GALE
So needy. You leave him at camp for a few hours and you come back to him acting like he needs to be sent to the seaside for his health. A year of living as a hermit does things to a man's necessities for attention.
Loves your scent. He doesn't share his clothes with anyone (that fabric is expensive, dammit), but he insists you wear them so that they smell like you later.
Despite being a cat owner, he's very dog-coded. Will do things with the sole purpose of receiving praise or kisses from you and gets extremely pouty when he doesn't.
Speaking of kisses, he takes any excuse conceivable to kiss you. Good morning, good night and good luck kisses are very much mandatory. Doesn't even have to be on his lips, he's more than satisfied with a cheek or forehead kiss as well.
He enjoys being taken care of, even if he complains. When you scold him for not sleeping over some ancient tome, he can't help but feel loved. Will return the favour, of course — especially if it comes to food. He's very insistent with the "three meals a day" thing.
Will read to you, there's no way around it. It's relaxing for both of you, so he doesn't see why he shouldn't. He also says he can pay attention better to the text when he says it out loud, anyway. You having your head on his lap as he does it is merely a bonus.
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🌿┊WYLL
If this man has any flaw, it's that he's always trying to make every moment you spend together perfect and forgets to just lay back and enjoy himself. Even then, he only does it because of how much he loves you.
The last romantic! Goes all out with dates and gifts — fancy restaurants and the biggest bouquets you've ever seen. Money is no object when it comes to you. Truly a good old-fashioned lover boy.
Definitely has a saviour complex — the type to say "I can fix them" unironically. He just loved you and wants you to be okay, and if he has to drag you there himself he will.
Will go on rants about how smitten he is with you and how perfect you are on a daily basis. If you have to leave for the day, he'll write it as a love letter instead.
Always holding you close, but there's no possessiveness to it. It's a display of affection, not ownership. He's yours as much as you are his.
Loves taking showers together. Not for any sexual reason (though he wouldn't complain if things ended up going down that path), he just finds it incredibly intimate and genuinely enjoys washing your hair for you.
You're not just another romance to him — you're the love of his life, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with, if the gods allow it.
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🌿┊HALSIN
Despite the whole "Desire flourishes wherever it finds purchase" thing, he genuinely doesn't see himself falling for anyone else as he did for you. It's nice to know he could still indulge if he wanted, but for now, he doesn't.
Loves having his hair played with. There's just something so soothing about it. Or maybe it's his wild shape talking, asking for pets. We'll never know.
Always finds an excuse for you to sit on his lap. Again, not for sexual reasons, he just likes wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your head or shoulder.
Even though he isn't one for commitment, he has a constant, extremely severe case of baby fever. He obviously wouldn't push you if you're not ready, but he does make his sentiments on the matter known.
Stepping dangerously close to smut territory with this one, but he loves how small you are compared to him. The way he engulfs you entirely when he hugs you or how your hand disappears under his as he holds it — it's endearing to him.
I cannot go without mentioning how good his hugs are. Like, seriously. He's so warm and gentle but still strong and it makes you feel safe. It's the best thing in Faerun.
Loves how you look like wearing his clothes. It ties into the size difference thing, since they just look huge on you. Also, much like Gale, he has a thing for your scent, so there's really no downsides.
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prettyboykatsuki · 1 year ago
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TEXTBOOK CITATIONS ON IMMORAL SEX | S. GETOU ft. F. TOJI
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✮ tags ; porn no plot, afab + fem!reader (good girl, little girl once sarcastically by toji, pretty), mild degradation (dirty girl, a bitch in heat), professor!getou + security guard!toji, dubcon, imbalanced power dynamics, age gaps(10+ years), mild coercion / blackmail, spit play, wet ‘n messy sex, face-fucking, oral (f +m!recieving), spanking, restraints, dirty talk, creampie / unprotected sex, 18+
✮ wc ; 10.6k
✮ synopsis ; You’re willing to do anything to pass your intro course. Whatever it takes. No cost is too high.
✮ a /n ; a comm for the beloved @fushironi !!! thank you for commissioning me and letting me post your work. if anyone is interested in a commission i will be reopening them at some point this month hopefully
A SIDE NOTE: THIS IS VERY CONSENSUAL!! but the relationship is inherently unethical so the dubcon tag is there. and this is. just smut. no plot no brain. just porn.
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You're failing ethics. 
You're failing ethics and failing it badly. 
You refuse to take all of the blame for your failures. Some of it is your fault, but most of it is the fault of your good-for-nothing academic advisor. You're not sure what they get paid for, since it seems like there's an elaborate prank going on between staff and you're the only one not in on the joke. In what universe is it possible, plausible - that an individual could get paid for doing everything but their job? 
Apparently this one. But whatever. 
In your last semester of university, on the edge of graduating and totally on the right track - you're informed that you're not going to be able to graduate in the expected time frame because you are missing a single course. You learn this information about two days before registrations close, which means all the meaningful classes contributing to your major are booked and busy. Everything is full, and everything that isn't doesn't contribute to your degree. As in, even if you took it - it wouldn't give you what you need to graduate. 
After a full-blown mental break, a long night crying yourself to sleep in your dorm, and an egregious amount of begging - you managed to snag yourself a class. It wasn't ideal by any stretch of the imagination, and it did put quite the strain on your schedule. Straight out of your 8am lab - you had to speed walk to the other end of campus and make sure you made it to lecture. The lecture time itself was an hour and twenty minutes, attendance mandatory, twice a week - which meant you had to delay lunch again till afterwards and learn on empty fumes till 1 pm. 
Still, better than not graduating at all. 
You'd hoped (expected?) that the course itself would be about average in coursework. For one, it's an intro class. Intro to Ethics or PHIL-2467, with Professor Getou Suguru. Secondly, the actual listed coursework seems simple enough. Discussion boards, reading analysis, and a few papers made up for most of the grade. The expectations were outlined as clearly as they could be. 
You didn't really know anything about Professor Getou at the time, only that his ratemyprofessor described him as somewhat strict but mostly good. 
In any case, you'd consider yourself lucky. And in an effort not to freak out about your circumstances, you'd practically chanted to yourself each night the same mantra. Everything was going to be fine. You've taken nearly 120 hours of coursework, and a little extra time won't kill you. At the start of the semester, you fully believed it too. Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and utterly naive.
How could a single course torment you like this? You hadn't the faintest clue. At first, it struck you as odd that the course felt as difficult to grasp as it did. The readings were complex and extremely long but always said a lot of nothing. Much of your grade was dependent not only on assigned work but participation and discussion. The paper criteria was only simple on the surface, but proved to be too lengthy to comprehend and too difficult to fulfill. 
Long story short, the class was kicking your ass. And the ass-kicking slowly progressed into a failure so bad it was laughable. You're in your final year, and that means taking a lot of difficult and specified courses in relation to your major. You were at the point where your classmates were starting to thin out, and you were seeing the same group of people you had as a freshman. As far as prioritizing goes, a 3-credit hour course that isn't technically meaningful to you falls to the very bottom of your priorities. You're more concerned with things like job-hunting and finishing your capstone and all the stuff related to your actual career. 
So you've been half-assing all the papers and exams, falling asleep in class, and lowkey straight up ignoring the weekly discussion boards. 
However, above everything else, the worst part of your class is your professor. Professor Getou Suguru. PhD in Comparative Ethics with a Masters in Cognitive Science. 
You didn't really have a chance to speak with any of your friends about Professor Getou, despite it being in your best interest - because you only knew you had the class two days before it started. You'd come to learn only two things about him after attending. First, he's a complete hardass when it comes to grading any assignments, and second most of his merit comes from the fact he is ridiculously good-looking. 
He can't be any older than his late thirties or early forties, which means he's young. Young enough to be attractive but old enough for most of your peers to thirst for him in unhealthy ways. He's at least a decade and a half older than you, and by god does he make it clear. 
What they don't tell you about college is that there's nothing that can make or break a class more than your professor. Everyone is always too worried about everything else, about getting their schedule right - that they often overlook this basic tenet of college life even though it's so crucial. The worst part is that while various websites rating your professors are helpful, you won't truthfully know how you feel about a professor until you've met them in a classroom. You've had professors with lower ratings be absolute angels, and professors with higher ones being some of the most useless in your entire academic career. 
You were hoping that Professor Suguru would be what you expected. That his astounding 4.5/5 would be a meaningful assessment of his character, that he would be tolerable and polite and understanding and that your semester would be smooth sailing because of it. 
But of course, of course - that couldn't be further from the truth.
You don't know at what point exactly your relationship to Professor Suguru became as sour as it is right now. There's no real pivotal movement where mild intolerance became full-blown and outright distaste. But part of it, you know, stems from the fact your beloved professor is a snake. 
You have no idea how no one else notices it. It genuinely feels like you're the only one who catches the subtleties of his behavior. There's just something about him that's a little…off. The irony isn't lost on you. He's an ethics professor, but something about him makes alarm bells go off in your head. A walking red flag, though a handsome one. He's off in a subtle way, but more than that - he's very openly smug to every single one of his students. It's just that no one else seems to really care. The air of pretension that surrounds him in his every movement is suffocating. Maybe that's part of the charm, if the way girls flock to him after class is anything to go by. 
Even so, you just know there's something deliberate about his casual cruelties. He always seems to pick out the quiet kids, and from the beginning of your semester to now - he always, always manages to single you out of the crowd of students. In every class, in every discussion, in every chance he has to make you out to be a troublemaker he will. 
Yes, you don't really have any idea how it started. But you've been keeping a long record of every single act of personal terror that damned man has been inflicting on you since the start of the course, and you're not unconvinced that your shit grade is in part because he wants to see you grovel in front of him. 
The first time it happened - you figure it was a coincidence. He had called you out in class after you missed a discussion board. You hadn't done the reading, and it wasn't obviously humiliating but it singled you out all the same. When you fumbled coming up with an answer, he gave you a smug smile that so quickly morphed into a fake sincere one, you wondered if you were imagining things. 
The second time was when you came in late after a walk of shame, and Professor Suguru greeted you by the door by asking if those were the same clothes you wore yesterday. After being completely mortified by it, the once dark gaze immediately rescinded to his usual fake-calm self. It was suspicious, but not the concrete evidence you needed. 
And the third time was after your first project of the semester. Your grade was lower than you deserved, and you knew it - so you went to his office hours to bitch and moan to get it bumped up. But he wouldn't budge, saying that he thought his assessment was accurate. Made a smug face as he told you he just didn't think you thought your points out through. Unfair critiques shielded by flowery words and polite gestures. It was that moment that cemented the dislike, though it wasn't the start.
The beginning of the end, so to speak.
Ever since then, you've harbored nothing but dislike for him. You can see past his pretty face and you don't see anything good. You've had unpleasant professors before, but none have ever targeted you so specifically. None of your previous professors, even at the worst, seemed to hold such an unbelievable personal grudge. 
You're all alone, fighting an invisible battle. 
The worst of it though, is that you simply couldn't be bothered to give a shit about it for most of the semester. You had way too much going on, so you just had to put up with the inexplicable dread of attending that class until you had to deal with it again eventually. 
And after months and months of avoiding the issue head-on, you're at a point where you can no longer do so. Your grade is officially below a C after bombing your last quiz, and there's only 5 weeks left until your semester is over and you're barred from graduation. 
And you have no fucking idea what you should do about the situation. 
__
There's a subtle pit of dread in your stomach as you enter your first philosophy lecture of the week. 
For the first time since the start of the semester, Professor Getou doesn't antagonize you as soon as you enter the door. In a strange way, this makes you kind of uncomfortable. He gives you his usual fake smile, but the fact he's gone out of his way to leave you alone makes you feel like he's planning something. 
You brush your paranoia aside as you take a seat in the back of your class. You don't have any friends in this lecture, at least not ones you do more than greet. You sit closer to the back of the lecture hall, tucked into a corner and up a few steps.
The charms on the end of your book bag zippers click together as you take your seat. You open your laptop - pulling up the lecture slides to pretend to study while opening 2048 to play while Professor Getou goes on about his business. You're hoping he's going to go easy on you today, and that his lack of interference is a sign of mercy. 
More people start to trickle in and the classroom is the usual amount of packed it is by this point in the semester. The last day to drop passed last week, so the number of students has decreased despite it being spring semester. 
Your professor starts his lecture as soon as the clock hits 11:30am. You look up from your computer, watching him as he sets up his slide deck and waits for all the conversation to settle before he begins talking.
He catches your eyes briefly before he continues, but he holds it for long enough that you know it's intentional. You frown at him, and it almost looks like he laughs - but you can't be sure your mind isn't tricking you into thinking that. 
"Good morning everybody," His voice is smooth and pleasant - hair tied up neatly. He's wearing his usual attire. Black slacks, and a loose-fitting white shirt with some kind of canvas shoe. "How's everybody hanging in there? Good? Bad?" 
He takes a look around the room, gauging peoples replies before chuckling. 
"Not in good shape huh? Stick it out, a few more weeks and you'll be out of here. Today, we're going to continue on into section five of our coursework - the shortest of all of our other sections," He grabs something that clicks the slide into the next one, a few images next to a wall of text "We have a lot to cover in the last few weeks, but I want to start with a refresh of what concepts we've been learning for the last few weeks." 
The swiftness in the way his eyes land on you is comical in its predictability. You give him an uncomfortable half-smile as he calls your name and brings the class's attention your way. A few looks of pity don't go unnoticed. You stiffen, straighten your back as he says your name slowly before asking. 
"Do you think you can tell me, what are the four core structures that define modern Japanese philosophical thinking?" 
There's real, uncomfortable weight to his gaze that makes you choke. You pull back slightly. 
"Uhm, well - there's Shintoism, Confucianism, Buddhism and western ideology. Primarily German idealism."
He gives you a smug look, the same one you always see before it fades off to an uncannily brilliant smile. Not a sincere one, because when is it ever - but there all the same. 
"Someone's been studying hard huh? But you are correct. We've spent the majority of this class going over the first three. How Shinto tradition, Confucianism, and Buddhism were experienced in Japan - isolated from Anglo-Saxon influence for the first few centuries of its establishment. We've also studied the vague historical timeline of these influences, mostly focusing on modern philosophy. We've covered Edo period philosophy as a precursor for what we know and understand now." 
You can say a lot about Professor Getou, but more than anything - he has a certain way of commanding the room's attention that never lets you get completely comfortable. He has an air of charisma you've never seen in your life and being in close proximity to it makes you feel like you're being swept in by waves larger than life. 
You fidget almost anxiously as you wait for him to continue his lesson.
"Our last few weeks are going to cover the culmination of your previous lessons, and what dictates both national morality and the hierarchy of modern Japanese social mores - Bushido. The way of the Samurai." 
Professor Getou continues with this slide deck as he outlines Bushido conceptually. From its existence as a moral code in late 12th century Japan, to the many misconceptions about the strictness in which it was adhered. He starts the lessons like he starts many others, explaining misconception and myth before touching the surface of the subject at hand. 
It's in his nature to advocate for the whole truth. From the start of your classes to now, Professor Getou always places the same emphasis. If only that truth is unable to be understood without opposition. It's like his whole being is constructed by it, opposition that is always radical and jaw-dropping. You've known this about him since he voiced his open critique for certain ideas about social welfare and about the emphasis of national morality. 
You can't be certain what he really believes - only that he'll voice his views as critically as possible, if only to stir the room. 
"Bushido is the heart and soul of modern and postmodern Japanese ethics, but it remains critically undefined despite its usage and citation functionally. Other philosophical schools of thought have strict definitions - Bushido is evolutionary in nature. Inazo Nitobe is primarily credited with the modern and popular interpretation of Bushido, but has received criticism for its obvious influence from Western ideas, and its comparison to chivalry."
Professor Getou sits back on the edge of his desk with a look on his face. 
"The tendency of Japanese philosophy to lean into metaphysics does not align with the many values of infrastructure and military present in the culture now, but I'm not going to critique the philosophy for you," He skips to the next slide, your last project of the semester on the wall "For the sake of brevity, I'm going to have you write a paper on one of the eight outlined ideals in Nitobe's work, and I want you to reflect on that ideal in your paper." 
A collective whispering erupts in the class as people stress about the assignment of their final few weeks. Not unexpected given the circumstances. Professor Getou doesn't flinch as he waits for the room to settle down.
"This will be your final project in this classroom, and will count as your final grade. On one hand, doing a good job on it means you have nothing to worry about for the last few weeks. On the other it's make or break," He locks eyes with you again as he says this, startling you as his smile grows coy and inauspicious "So if you're in need of a good grade to pass you, I'd recommend coming to see me during office hours or during one-on-one time so I can get you the grade you need. We'll discuss more at the end of class, but we've gotta get through more lectures so you can get an idea of what you can pick."
He gives you one another look, another pointed and obviously direct look, before he proceeds on with his lecture. It gives you a bad feeling in your stomach, and maybe you're being too self-centered thinking he's focusing too much on you.
But you can't help it, swallowing down your uncertainty as you continue on with the lesson. 
You need to pass this class. 
___ 
You meet up with Nobara after the fact. 
She's a good sounding board for your problems as usual. Where you're always looking for the most civil solutions, she's good at giving it to you straight on what you should do. She's no bullshit and you like that about her. Whenever you need a kick in the ass or an ounce of courage, she's the person for the job.
 So after meeting up for lunch, ranting again about Professor Getou (for the hundredth—no, thousandth time), and whining about his weird behavior, you're expecting some semi-sound, if not mean advice on what you should do. 
"Have you thought about just fucking him?" She says instead, her voice full of sincere boredom. It comes out so casually, like she's relaying the news cycle to you - and you can't help but be utterly shocked listening to it. "Not that it was my first suggestion, but I mean…it's getting ridiculous." 
"Hello? Where the hell did that come from? What do you mean just fucking him?" 
She gives you a sideways glance of disdain as if you were the one saying something unreasonable. She leans forward into her hand mirror, gluing on her eyelashes for her afternoon date with Maki. She scoffs when she realizes your shock is genuine. 
"Are you serious? Does this not read as an elaborate scheme for this total jackass to fuck you?" 
You're flabbergasted. Surely she's not being serious with you. 
"Nobara." 
"Haah? Tch. Don't make that face. It's a gross abuse of his power but well, he's not ugly. If he were any younger of a professor, would you like… not assume that was the end game?" 
"Nobara, he's a professor of ethics. His whole career is ethics." 
"Yeah. Like. The perfect cover for wanting to screw his wide-eyed, desperate students. He's a hot, young professor. Not my type but you get me. Don't you think it's a little naive to assume his personal vendetta against you is shit, I don't know… totally lacking that motive? Think with your brain, not your tender little heart for a minute, okay?" 
"It's not that!" 
"Really? Just like your relationship with Mr. Fushiguro is totally platonic?" 
"I said it was one-sided, not platonic." 
"You're my whole heart and soul, you know that right? I didn't freak on you when you said you had a crush on Megumi's deadbeat dad. You're my salvation from the idiots we call guy friends. So I'm saying this with love, and not as the complete bitch you know me as - you're being dumb." 
"Nobara, are you seriously saying you think this whole thing is about him wanting to," You can barely even get the words out. You're not that much of a prude but god. "Wanting to have… sex with me?" 
"Yeah. What else would it even be? I think an awful man is interested in screwing you - a hot, capable twenty-something. Are you stupid? Is that like, sooo impossible for you to consider?"
"Well it's not the first place I would think to go, that's for sure." 
"And that's your whole problem. Don't get me wrong, again, totally gross. Is it like.. a total abuse of his authority? Yeah. But that doesn't have anything to do with you personally. If I'm right, and you fuck him - you get a good lay and to graduate. And you need both."
"Nobara!"
"Don't be mad, I love you, okay? But I'm thinking about your future and your prospects. There's nothing wrong with it on a technical level."
"That is so untrue and you know it—"
"Look. I don't like it. I think it's a weak move and kind of corny and gross. But you've been planning your big graduation for years. And it's not a bad opportunity, and you're not a complete idiot. You said before that he's never inappropriate with the other girls right? You might even be the only one. As far as I'm concerned, there's no reason for you to not get laid and pass." 
"Oh, so the student-teacher thing isn't reason enough?" 
"Not if you wanna graduate it's not." 
The two of you remain at a stand-still as his words trap you into a corner. How the hell do you even deal with this information? And how on Earth is she so sure of herself anyways? You think you're pretty good with signs, at least about things like this.
But it doesn't feel like flirting. He's never flirted with any of the students in class, despite how much they seem to fawn over him. Could this weird, psychological dance you've been doing for the last twelve weeks be some sort of unspoken foreplay ritual? 
The more you think about it, the less it seems implausible to you. There's a wave after that, some cross between impending doom and shameful arousal blooming up inside of you as everything hits you all at the same time. 
When you return to reality after being trapped in your thoughts, Nobara gives you a mindful (almost pitiful) smile and shakes her head. You frown at her in reply, squeezing the bridge of your nose. 
"If it were like literally anyone else, I'd totally tell them it's a bad idea. But it's not like you're going on to date him, and you're what - 24? because of your gap year so you're not a preteen like some of the freshmen in your class. I just don't see any reason not to go for it." 
You tamp down the small voice in the back of your head, encouraging you to do - and instead ask her a follow-up question. 
"...Do you think I should attend his office hours tomorrow, yes or no? I have to email him by tonight to get the one on one." 
"Yeah. Yes. And shave before you go." 
__
You decide, for the sake of your sanity and everyone else's - to ignore Nobara's odd implications about what Professor Getou wants from you and to attend his office hours.
(That's a partial lie, you figure - given the fact you did shave, and shower before attending. You're wearing something kind of nice underneath. But you still don't think he wants to fuck you. It's more of a safety precaution than anything else.)
 You made the game plan last night that you would go, present your idea, and then beg him to be kind to you during the grading process. You even developed a list of things to sob and cry about it to generate something of a sob story if everything went awry. You've forsaken your pride. The only thing that you need to get out of this meeting is a passing grade. 
And that is, of course, by any means necessary. 
Fearing for your life, the state of your mood improves as you approach the building hosting Professor Getou's office. Of all of the people you interact with semi-regularly on campus (all of which you are quite fond of), Nobara wasn't lying about your affection for campus security guard - Toji Fushiguro.
He's an older man. Older than you by double digits, and from what you can tell - older than even your professor. You've been fond of him ever since he brought you back to your dorm after a horrible break-up with your ex as a sophomore. He's got a rough edge, and there's plenty of unverified rumors of his past. You know that he has something of a criminal record too. 
But for all of those rumors, and for all the things you hear about him - he's been one of the highlights of your campus experience. You've had a one-sided school-girl crush on him ever since that night, because you were sober enough to catch his body and how it feels. He was strong. Not in an average way. He made it so effortless when he was carrying you home in his arms - and it's not the first time you've seen him lug around things at least over 300 pounds like they were nothing. 
But attractiveness aside, he is uncharacteristically good at cheering you up. He's funny and witty, all while maintaining a cool facade. He's endearing in his own way too, and you're a little head over heels for him though you'd never push yourself to make the first move. 
Still, when he sees you come towards the building - he greets you with a wide smile. The scar over his busted lip - split open and welcoming as you run up to him for a hug. He's normally patrolling around campus, so it feels lucky to catch him where you least expect. 
He wraps you up with a single arm, your feet temporarily lifting from the ground before you get put back down again. 
"Mr. Fushiguro, what are you doing here?"
"I got moved over here since there's been some rumor about someone stealing from the labs upstairs. So I'm on lock up duty for this building 'till it gets fixed up and solved," He says, voice as smooth as ice "What about you sweetheart? It's gonna get dark out soon." 
"Ah, I have office hours with Professor Getou today. I need to consult with him about a paper." 
"That right? Just gonna be you in there, then?" 
"Yep. I'm gonna go in there and beg him for a good grade on our next assignment. So for the sake of my sanity, please wish me luck?" 
Mr. Fushiguro tilts his head to one side, grinning. 
"Wouldn't that mean you graduate sooner instead of later? Can't wish ya luck on that." He says, making you flush and letting the feeling linger before continuing "Just kiddin'. A pretty face like yours should do you just fine. Knock 'em dead." 
"I feel a lot better about it with your encouragement." You say honestly. Mr. Fushiguro gives you a laugh.
"Treat me to something if my luck makes any difference. And hurry in. Last thing you'd wanna do is be late." 
You nod, wide-eyed and dazed by how charismatic he is before you rush into the building. It's silent, given how late in the school day it is. Most people have already gone home, with the exception of the other poor souls likely chasing down their professors for the same reasons as you. 
You feel an overwhelming sensation of dread as you encroach upon Professors Getou's office. There's no one else in the close vicinity, only a few closed classrooms and students who are passing by the small corner where his door resides - most of which are making their way to leave. 
You decide to take a deep breath, calming your shaken nerves before knocking politely once on his door and entering the room. 
Professor Getou's office looks like how you'd expect it to look. It's clean, and sleek - and lacking almost completely of items of personal effect with the exception of his desk. It's the first time you've ever been inside of the room before, but it smells distinctly of him. He has that same scent surrounding him, like flicks of nicotine and a hint of bergamot. Sweet with the taste of metallic bitterness, like blood and sugar.
You feel the back of your throat bob as you see your Professor sitting at his desk. It's lacking his usual gracefulness. His shirt is unbuttoned down by three entire buttons, and his slacks seem looser. Most notable is his hair - classically long, now in a loose bun with pieces falling all on his shoulders and rolling down his neck. 
You think of what Nobara said to you earlier in the day alone, a strange and overwhelming sensation of lust and embarrassment making it difficult for you to open your voice and talk.
It's Professor Getou who greets you first. He looks up from whatever he was reading and looks at you from where you stand awkwardly at his door. His smile widens, though it's just by a little. 
"Ah, I was wondering when you'd be here. Looks like you're right on time." He says first, sitting up in his chair but not bothering to gather himself in any way otherwise "Come on in and sit. I assume you're here to talk about your grade."
 You sit across from him hesitantly, hands folded in your lap as you put your bag down on the floor. 
He studies you quietly. There's a long stretch of silence, where neither of you do anything but sit in each other's company.
He breaks the silence first.
"So, while I have a guess," He says, elbows on his desk "Do you want to talk to me about what you're here for?" 
You've practiced the dialogue in your head so many times now. What to do and how to say what you need too, but the words seem to fizzle out completely when it's time to really say them. Leaving nothing but uncertainty, you open your mouth only to close it once again. 
"Uhm," Your voice strains trying to make the words out into a coherent sentence. "I came to talk about my paper. And my grade, like you mentioned in class."
"So you decided to heed my advice? Good girl, that was a smart choice," You try not to be taken aback by the pet name - unsure if it's as inappropriate as you think it is "Do you know what virtue you want to cover?" 
"I thought I would pick uhm, righteousness - and then pull from some of the Western ethics we learned about. Making uh, connections between deontological ethics and duty and how it relates to the defined idea of righteousness," You explain nervously, an uncomfortable laugh bubbling out of your throat "How practicing duty and righteousness relate to each other."
 "Hmm. Sounds like you've had time to think about it a little, then."
"I uhm, haven't finished the reading but I did take a look over my section to see if I could make it work." 
"I think you have something to work with. You'll need to straighten out the thesis of your paper into something more tangible. I know that's an ironic ask. But I think it's a good idea," He gives you a brief glance, studies you with eyes. Snake-like. Something coils inside of you, tickles and brushes against your skin and makes the hairs on the back of your neck raise "It seems like you have something more to tell me, though." 
Do you? Is there anything more there? The answer lies indifferently on a scale from obviously to no. nothing at all and it haunts you that he's able to pick it out. 
"It's just well. Uhm. You know, I don't have the best grade in this class so I was more prepared to go down with my grade. You approved quicker than I thought you would." 
"Your grade is pretty abysmal. Did you come in here planning to beg?" 
You refrain from an instant yes, even though it's what you feel. Something about the way he says it makes your stomach clench. Your heart quickens. Your tongue feels too heavy in your mouth as you laugh uncomfortably. 
"Something like that? Uhm, or at least try to hash things out between us. I know our relationship over the c-course of the semester has been kind of sour so I…"
He cuts you off.
"Has it?" 
Your brain stutters to halt.
"Uhm. Yes?"
It's unpredictable, utterly and completely - the way he reflects on your words like you've said something incomprehensible. You aren't sure if that's sincere. You can't be sure if any of the words out of his mouth are. But he doesn't seem like he's lying. Your mind flashes to Nobara, and you find yourself speaking before you can stop it. It comes out like a flood.
 "I j-just always assumed you singled me out in class because you didn't like me? I don't mean to be accusatory, though."
"I'm afraid you've got the wrong idea," He says, shaking his head "I don't harbor any negative feelings for you at all."
"Oh," You say, eyes falling down to your lap again "Right, then." 
"You must be desperate for that passing grade, hm? If you're meeting with a professor you think hates you." 
You glance at him. 
"Well, yes. I want—need to pass this class. I've already planned my graduation for this semester." 
"And you'd be willing to do anything for that, is what you're implying?" 
"Yes," You say, with a sudden rush of unwavering confidence "Anything." 
"Let me ask you another question, then." He lets his elbows rest on the edge of his table, a familiar coy smile "Do you think there's any other reason for why I've been paying special attention to you, aside from me disliking you? You're a smart girl, so I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out." 
The weight of his words don't go unnoticed. The air feels heavy as it hangs between you. He couldn't be implying it so directly could he? Your mind drifts back to Nobara's warning to you, and your breath hitches. Your eyes widen as you glance up for the first time and give him a look of mild distress. 
And he smiles. His grin widens as soon as it dawns on you.
"Seems like you've reached an important conclusion," He says, casually - as he sits up in his chair and leans back. Stretched like nothing could get in his way "Why don't you share with the class?" 
"You," Your voice is a nervous tremor. You must be crazy. You must be completely out of your mind "...To sleep with me?" 
"See? I told you, you're a smart girl." 
The question is a burning one. One you've been wanting to ask since you started thinking about it last night. 
"B-but…why? And why me? A-and," 
"You have a tendency for being combative. You know that? An air of defiance. I can tell you're a little older than your peers. A little wiser, and a little more knowing of when to ask for help," Getou outlines, staring you down "And seeing you with that sense of desperation was exciting for me. I'm a man of simple tastes. At my age, I know what I want." 
"And I like when tough, combative, clever women turn into babbling, desperate, needy girls. I'm quite fond of it, actually." 
He's detrimentally serious. Your stomach flips. 
"Do you want to pass this class?" He asks you, an air of confidence surrounding him. You close your eyes, unsure if you can call it coercion when you're feeling so terribly willing about it. 
"Yes. I need to pass." 
"Then come up here," He gestures, widens his legs and leans back in his chair "And sit." 
Your body is burning. You don't know if you're even really in the situation, or if you've daydreamed it into something impossible. Something phantom moves you. Stands you to your feet shakily before walking in short strides. Professor Getou looks at you from where you stand over him. 
His hand brushes your outer thigh, patting it. 
"Sit." 
So you sit. You spread yourself and straddle your professor - and the reality dawns on you the minute you touch what you're doing. You haven't gotten laid in a bit, and he's nothing like anyone you've ever slept with. You feel out of your element. You get the impression he's a man, a grown one. There's a confidence in him that looms and looms and looms, overshadowing any of your doubt.
He's sexier up close. There's the faintest trace of smile lines on his expression as you look down at him. He guides your arms to loop around your neck, and holds your hips with his hands. 
Then you feel it, almost instantly - something hard and bulging pressing against the seam of your pants and against your crotch. He's already half-hard and he hasn't even kissed you. He grins at you lazily, like a cat with cream. 
"I'll pass you as soon as I put it in," His hands are so big - long, slender fingers gripping your ass "And give you extra credit when you cum for me. How's that sound?" 
You feel dirty. It's all happening so fast. Almost vulgar, but it's impossible to feel cheap. To believe in the wrongness of it when Professor Getou is so undeniably sexy. Wrong, on so many levels, to do this for the sake of your grade. Or just in general. Yet you want it, yearn for it, find the culmination of all your annoyances melting as he graces you himself. 
"I wanna pass," You say, uncharacteristically nervous about everything. You add the next part a little quieter "...I want it." 
"What do you want, exactly?" 
"Want you to fuck me." You admit, against your better judgment "Please?" 
"Gonna make a real pretty mess out of you," He says, voice smooth and serene. You look down at him. His knuckles brush against your jaw, on your cheek before his thumb holds on your lower mouth. His fingers push past the edge of your lips, sliding against your tongue and gently running along your teeth. He gags you on it, so slightly - enough to startle you but not enough to hurt. You feel spit pour from your lips. 
Thick messy strings of drool drip down the sides of your mouth. You want to back away in shame. But there's an air of intention behind the gesture. It's deliberate, the action - the mess and how it runs down your neck. Before you know it, he's kissing you in that same state. 
Professor Getou kisses like he's done it before.
His hands grip on your ass as he kisses hot and heavy. Self-assured, he sucks and bites at your mouth - sticking his tongue in and mixing his saliva with yours in a way that feels downright dirty. Yet it makes you throb, white-hot flames licking at the back of your thighs. The sparks of arousal crawl up your skin. 
Your nerves tighten as Professor Getou cups your face with one palm, kissing you with fervor. You melt into him, arms wrapped tightly around his neck. 
"Been thinking about what you would look like bent over my desk all semester," He says as he pulls away, looking on with admiration at your messy complexion "You wanna go on ahead and show me?"
Another wave of embarrassment washes over you, but you find yourself standing to your feet. Sliding your sweats off down your legs - your lower half is left bare with the exception of your feet. You lay or stomach on his desk, the cold wood sending chills up your whole body and your stomach and tits lay flat and squishy against the hard material. You stand, shoulder width apart, and present yourself in front of him. 
"That's what I like to see," His voice is rich and deep as he speaks. You can feel him inch towards you, pulling you apart with his palms before his hand comes down on your ass in one hard motion. The noise echoes against the walls of the room "See, I knew you could listen well when you had to." 
You don't say anything in reply, pressing your cheek against the desk. 
"W-what do I call you?" You ask, your voice trembling. You feel his fingers against the seam of your panties. He snaps the cotton waistband against your skin before humming thoughtfully, a light tap to your ass. 
"Getou is fine. Suguru is too. Sir if that makes you more comfortable."
 Getou makes a show of fondling you, though you can't see it - you can feel the way his eyes nearly swallow your naked lower half. How his fingers touch and prod all of your sensitive places, with some kind of keen observation. Everything Getou says is like that, keen and particular.
"Such a pretty pussy on you. Would've been such a waste if you didn't come to me."
You don't bother to ask what he means by that. Behind you, there's a noise. Of a chair rolling back, and the dull thud of knees hitting the ground. Before you know what's happening, there's a face dangerously close to your clothed pussy. The minute you try to squirm, there's a tight grip keeping you in place. He takes a deep breath. Without any real hesitance, you feel his tongue lick across the clothed material. 
In one fell swoop, he pulls your panties to one side and kisses your clit without any more real introduction. You're gripping the edge of the table you're bent over as you feel his tongue slide against the wet folds of your pussy, making your voice cry out involuntarily. Normally people would urge you to be quiet, but you got the feeling he didn't care if anyone heard you crying out for him. You get a second wave of intuition telling you he might even like it. 
A sensation of bliss washes over you as he sucks hungrily at your cunt. It feels good enough to be holy. There's such immense expertise in it that you can't help but succumb to it completely. The warm, heavy muscle gliding over sticky folds.
You're so lost in the pleasure, your mind completely blocks out the intrusion. The sense that would detect another person in the room disappears completely. You only know because of Getou, the way he stops and scoffs. It forces you to blink your eyes open. He speaks before you get the chance. 
"What are you doing here?" 
You recognize the voice instantly, and your heart drops through your stomach. 
"Thought I heard a ghost howling," Mr. Fushiguro says, his voice is rougher and deeper and older "Turn out it was just a little girl wanderin' into the woods." 
"If you can see I'm busy, why're you still here?"
You can't help but feel the second wave of overwhelming shock as you sit there, naked and unafraid. Still, they stand like nothing is wrong. Chat like they know each other somehow, but you have no idea in which way. All you can focus on is the bubbling, nauseating shame. 
"Oh god." You voice, but both others ignore. Mr.Fushiguro speaks first.
"This one is off-limits, Suguru. What kinda professor goes around fuckin' their innocent little students?"
"Just the one, Mr. Fushiguro. And I'd like to get back to business."
"Ah, no way I'm letting you off the hook. I could report this y'know? Make headlines. Ethics professor coerces student into sexual activity. It'd be big. 
Your heart drops. 
"Fuck off, would you? Does she look coerced?" 
A beat of silence. "Nah. Not with the way she's twitchin'. But it's not fun if I just let you go. How about you tap me in and I'll keep your little secret hm? She's gotta cute crush on me already."
Your heart flounces around in your chest, a muffled noise of shock escaping your lips as you squirm to move but are held, still, so firmly in place. Your expression and feelings all go through 5 stages of grief before settling at dumbfounded. They don't especially ask for your input, but you hear Professor Getou behind you.
"Fine, if it'll get you to shut up. And I'm fucking her first."
Strange. Nothing about today makes any sense. You don't miss the almost childish sense of competition in Getou's voice that changes your view of him in an instant. Humanizes him in the strangest and most unrecognizable ways. It lacks his usual virtue.
Mr. Fushiguro walks up in front of you, imposing. He's grinning, a well-worn smile on his face that you know. He helps you up, and you keep yourself upright on your arms as he grabs your chin with his palms. You look up at him wide-eyed, unsure of what to do.
"Dirty fucking girl aren't ya?" He says, though he almost sounds like he's impressed with himself 
"You into older men or is it a coincidence you're screwing 'im for your grade?"
You're speechless, and you moan a little pathetically as Getou doesn't stop eating you out. This only seems to make Mr. Fushiguro even more excited. You look up at him through wet lashes, unsure of what to do.
"Don't mind either way, just curious. Guess I'm a little sad 'cause I thought your little heart eyes around me made me special," He tells you this looking down at you, eyes locked. You can tell he's just teasing you, and it makes you twitch "But I guess that's not true, is it?"
"You're different. I uhm. Well it's true at least."
"Yeah? You're just letting both of us fuck you 'cause you're like a bitch 'n heat?"
You flush. He gives you a smile and a well-meaning laugh that makes your body feel warm with heat.
"Mind if we're a little rough on you, sweetheart?"
You shake your head.
"Good. Stick your tongue out and open your mouth for me then."
You listen, oblige the instructions almost obediently. Your face is still covered with spit from before. You watch idly, intently - as Mr. Fushiguro pulls his cock out from his black pants. The loose material covers him well, but as soon as they're down past his thighs - the outline of his cock borders on intrusive. Your eyes widen, fluttering and unfocused because it's hard to think about anything while feeling such intense pleasure.
But Mr. Fushiguro is captivating as he pulls himself out for you. His cock is thick and heavy, protruding but too much that it can't stand up on its own. Weighed down by gravity, you stare at it wide-eyed. It's the size of your forearm, so thick you can't possibly imagine what it feels like.
Your heart stammers. 
"It won't fit in my mouth." You say, gasping for air as if you're already suffocating on it "You're—you're so huge."
He laughs with an edge of snark. You blink at him in complete seriousness, taken aback. He lets the tip of his cock tap the plushness of your cheek before pressing against your lips. You stare at him, almost afraid.
"Of course it'll fit," He says in confidence "Just gotta make sure you're relaxed. So relax, sweetheart, and open your mouth for me." 
Hesitantly, you open your mouth wide. You feel the corners of your lips stretch around the intrusive, thick head of Mr. Fushiguro's cock. The taste of sweat and skin is invasive and heavy, violating your senses. Just the tip and it barely fits in your mouth. You try and concentrate, sticking your tongue out and curling it around the underneath of his cock, focusing on sucking just the tip. He groans above you, a hand on the back of your head. He doesn't force you down, but you can tell by the twitch in his fingers that he wants to.
"Look at you," He says, his voice coarse with restraint and desire "You're drooling on my cock while you're professors busy eatin' your pussy. Thought you were an innocent girl, but now I don't know what to believe."
He says this as he eases more into your mouth, slowly letting you adjust. He rocks his hips back and forth until you relax. You open yourself up, trying to focus on blowing him.
But a hand comes down on your ass, hard and heavy - making you yelp. The noise is muffled but audible. A short squeal, you can't turn your head to look 
"Don't you think you two are getting too comfortable upfront without me? I'm the one who decides your grades."
"Maybe you're not doing good enough for her to care."
You can feel a strange sense of competition between them, but you're too occupied to ask about it. How do they know each other, and for what reason do they seem so automatically hostile? It bothers you, but you can't think about it too hard.
"That's not true. Her pussy is soaking fucking wet." He punctuates his words with a harsh smack against your cunt, the force rippling through your as you bend forward and choke "Almost as messy as her face."
He's quick, again, to latch himself to your clit. He flicks it with his tongue, licking it mercilessly as your brain starts to fog up with desire. Like he's trying to prove a point, you moan around Mr. Fushiguro's cock as your pleasure starts to thrum up again. The back of your legs tense, trembling as a knot begins to uncoil in your lower stomach. The cock in your mouth moves too, using the distracted moans to ease himself even deeper into the wet, arm cavern of your mouth. 
Your head feels heavy, body weak as the both of them use you to their contents. Your stomach starts to stir as a familiar feeling of euphoria claws at you. 
You cum for the first time like that, your body pressed against a wood desk - restrained and under careful watch of two men. Your whole body explodes - white, hot nerves fraying off and ricocheting off your ribs inside of you. Your insides shake as the wave of an orgasm washes over your entire body. You gasp, clenching down hard and gasping as tremors of orgasm pulse and push through your whole body. Something in you ignites as you grip the edge of the desk for your life, trying to keep yourself upright as Getou pushes you through the orgasm. 
You've barely recovered when Mr. Fushiguros pulls out of your mouth, pressing his spit-soaked cock against your face and cheeks with a smile. You let it slide against your tongue, eyes fluttering open as your face gets covered in precum and saliva. 
"You look so fucking filthy right now, you know that? But it looks good on you. I'm dying to fuck you." 
"Mr. Fushiguro," You groan. He clicks his teeth. 
"Toji's just fine sweetheart." 
You whimper helplessly as you ride out your high. Behind you, your professor pulls away. You peek behind you to see him, flush as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. 
Toji looks down at your frazzled expression with a grin, teeth showing as he cups your jaw a second time and slides his cock back in one go. This time, he pushes his cock in the base - keeping your throat around him with a hand on the back of your head. 
"Just focus on me for now, baby. Focus on sucking me off, yeah? Just like that, easy easy. He's gonna open you up. Stretch you nice and make your pussy all sloppy. That's what you want right?" 
Getou leans over you, the weight of his body looming as you feel slender fingers slide through your sticky folds. His middle and index brush against your abused clit, rubbing a few circles into it before pulling away. He grabs your arms and positions them behind your back, gripping them in one hand to keep you restrained. You squirm against the gesture, unable to get any leeway as he holds you down. Then you feel his fingers move, middle finger catching on your wet hole as it trembles and sticks. He opens you up like this without any warning. 
His middle finger goes first - delicately intrusive as your pussy widens to accommodate him. They're so much bigger than yours. Just one feels like two of your own. You push back out of instinct but Getou doesn't let you move. He buries himself, pushing in and out until he's able to fuck your pussy all the way down to the knuckle. Once there's no longer any resistance, he pulls back and makes room for another. The sensation is duller, lets you clear your head and think even as Toji rubs his cock on your face and fucks your mouth in short ruts. 
Not enough to make you choke, but enough to smear something hot and nasty all over you. 
Professor Getou repeats the process with his pointer, pushing and stretching and opening until you can't fight it anymore. With two fingers, he scissors them trying to make your insides soft enough for him to take you. 
"You're stretching out for me like it's nothing. You must be turned on, hm? Like getting all your holes used like this? Getting your face-fucked by a man old enough to be your father?" 
Toji laughs harshly, smacking your face lightly, enough it doesn't hurt but enough to make you feel it. 
"She loves it. She's clenching down on you tight ain't she?" 
"Sure is. All this for a grade. Maybe I should've bullied you about it a little more first. Since you're so eager." 
"Gonna give her extra credit for this?"
"I should deduct points for the fact you're even near here."
He laughs good-naturedly at this point, and you're still having trouble making sense of their relationship. You manage to speak for the first time in forever, voice barely there as you go to question them. You're not expecting any solid answers. 
"How do you two know each other?" You ask, before Toji starts fucking your mouth again 
"Goes a long way back. And we're still on bad terms, so congrats on bringing us together, sweetheart. Kind of an expected reunion really." 
"He's been working here since Professor Gojo and I were students here and we knew him from before. A long story. Don't worry your pretty little head about it." 
The burning question is quick to fade out of your mind as you feel your professor's clothed bulge rest against your cunt. You moan, a clipped needy sound as you nearly beg him to fuck you. Toji bends over you this time, reaching back to spread your pussy open by grabbing your ass. You can feel the grip of his hands, strong and assured. 
"She's gettin' impatient. Give it to her." 
"Don't need your help with that." Getou spits, irritation sounding in his words. 
"Consider it an apology." 
The air of tension is there temporarily, before Getou pulls his cock from the confines of his boxers. You can't see it, eyes squeezed tight as you work your mouth and tongue Toji's length. You can feel it though. He makes a show of rubbing his cock against your puffy, sore cunt. You get a feel for its shape as he pushes it between your thighs and lets it cling in between your lips. Professor Getou's cock is longer and more narrow, but it curves upright. It's hard, throbbing between your legs. Whining helplessly you wiggle your ass again. You feel increasingly restless about needing something inside of you. You're still bound though, completely and utterly unable to move. Toji's hand comes down heavy on your ass as you do, clicking his teeth in faux irritation. 
"Don't fucking move unless you want my handmark on your ass forever," He says, his voice cool and forgiving "Impatient." 
Getou must feel something inside of him merciful enough to keep you waiting. Even with all the stretching and prep, the minute you feel the head of your cock push through - something inside of you snaps. It's still so big, still too much, still reaches a part of you so deep you didn't know it was there. The position itself - still being on your stomach, makes it reach so much farther than other positions. The raw, skin-to-skin contact leaves your tummy fluttering, skin prickling with heat. Your top is pushed up enough to expose your lower back and your skin is pulsing. You feel like your whole body is on fire, suspended between men so much older than that want nothing more than to fuck you.
Every time you try to wiggle away from the sensations, Toji's hand comes down heavy on your backside. It doesn't matter how minuscule the movement. If he gets the idea that you're going to try and pull away, he spanks you hard enough that the room echoes with the sound. Your skin tingles, phantom sensation left before as you're held open and made to take your professor's cock - obedient and wanting. 
Inch by miserable inch, it takes forever to take him down to the base. Your toes curl, eyes shut and mouth sloppily trying to keep up with the cock in your mouth and just barely succeeding. 
He groans behind you, shuddering 
"That's incredible," He praises, and it feels so good to hear him saying something so overtly kind you don't know if you want to laugh or cry "Your pussy is fucking incredible. Shit."
"You hear that? You gotta. Pussy's twitchin' like crazy. Ass is too, how cute." 
"Feels sho good," You slur, brain clear of any and all rational thought as a string of saliva drips down your chin "Please fuck me, please,"
"You heard her teach."
Toji lets go of you and returns back to where you are. He pulls his cock away from you, instead holding you up and cupping your mouth open. He kisses you, after everything - with all of his pre-spend in your mouth before spitting into it harshly and kissing it again.
"Such a pretty face you're makin' right now." He says, something of a warm and unprecedented affection to it "So excited to get your pussy filled up."
He leans you on him, lets you wrap around his midriff, and squeeze tight while he pets the back of your hair in a strange streak of affection. You don't know what to make of anything. All you can feel is the long cock pounding into you without any mercy. Razor-sharp thrusts, nudging against your swollen g-spot and pounding into your cunt with immeasurable force. A man so much older than you is fucking you, pounding your pretty little pussy, and turning you into a complete mess. He's meant to be a mentor to you, but he has his cock imprinting itself inside of you over and over and over.
Your stomach feels hot again, but some other feeling takes you over as Toji cradles you - watching you just as intently. He talks you through with confidence you can't entirely understand.
"Yeah, that's it. Tighten up for him, just like that. Feels good doesn't it? I know baby, I know."
You whine out in Toji's arms as he talks you through it. Behind you, you feel Getou's grip hold you tight as he pistons you. The sound of his thighs smacking against your ass is noisy, almost as noisy as your pussy. Slick wet, sounding each time he thrusts.
"I'm not gonna last like this, shit." He pumps into you a few more types before his hips stutter to a halt. He cums with his cock buried deep inside of you, filling you all the way to the brim. You feel his white, hot seed fill your belly, cock twitching as he unloads and makes your legs shake.
A sense of emptiness overwhelms you as Getou pulls out, landing a hit on your ass as he shakes. He kisses your spine. 
The two of them switch places without communicating with each other about it. Getou pulls out, and away - coming back in front of you and picking you up in his arms as Toji positions himself behind you. He spreads your cunt out with his fingers, examining the seed left over with a light laugh. 
"Gonna fuck into your sloppy little cunt, give you another load where you need it and make you cum." Toji says, not hesitating at all. You feel your breathing start to quicken as he takes the same positions as before. 
Toji doesn't neglect touching you as his arm curls around your waist, calloused fingertips brushing against your clit before his cock pushes into you. Your pussy takes him much easier, but even so - Toji is just so thick, you can't help but feel him all over again. This time, Getou has you in his arms, holding and guiding you. Your hands are curled around his bicep and lower spine as you're held up. 
Toji's thrusts are slower, but just as rhythmic - focused on bringing you to another orgasm. It's duller this time, the sensation more focused and spread. Toji is so big you feel it in your hips, your entire lower half tingling as he pumps his cock in and out of you. He gives you all of his attention, staving off his own orgasm as Getou encourages you with his own words. 
"Gonna cum again, pretty? Take another man's cum in you right after me? You want to, right? Take it all in, every drop. You've earned it."
You feel your insides tighten again, for a second time - in a miraculous span. Every muscle in your body tenses and contracts as both sensations work in tandem to bring you closer to your edge. 
Your nerves fire off a second time as you push yourself to the limit. Toji fucks you through another orgasm with ease, thrusting with each tremor until you've ridden out your high. His own orgasm and chase come not long after that fact. 
As soon as you've gone totally limp underneath him, he sheaths himself as deep as he can. Bent over you, he cums hard and deep, filling you to the brim a second time.
There's a brief moment of silence as Toji rides out his high, where all three of you sit in silence.
You find yourself limp as you lay there, Toji pulling out and Getou slowly letting you down before you look up with a tired expression. 
"...So, did I pass?"
Your professor laughs harder than you've ever seen him laugh.
"With flying colors."
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