#man this went all over the place
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fellhellion · 1 year ago
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as a purely personal preference i honestly kind of wish sm/2099 had more self contained issues and/or specials, since the restrained format seems to really prompt the writers (PAD as well as the guest writers of the specials) to play around with and explore a particular niche of the world building implications of 2099 upon the characters.
#i honestly want to read some more of PAD's work because i get the impression that he gets kind of. lost??? narratively sometimes??? on the#journey to get where he wants to go w the point of the arcs#the first ten issues are - imo - as good as they are w their pacing Because they would've been the pitch arc yknow?#arc 2 has a Really interesting core idea that its driving at (exploring what the prevelance of cults and new faith religiosity#in 2099 is all about) but by the time you GET to the core of that arc it feels like weve lingered too long in the question of#'are supes back?' instead of exploring what that MEANS to the characters (and the fuckign xmen crossover oh lord <- hater disease)#because the mystery of 'are supes back' is just. honestly not that interesting when you dont explore what Effects this would have on miguel#esp right out of the gate of his first Real Spiderman Identity Actualisation. 'spiderman 2099 meets spiderman' seems to retroactively speak#to all of that characater unpacking i WANTED from arc 2 but the fact of the matter is that - imo - 2 spends too long on the set up and too#little on the implications of the answers WHICH ARE FACINATING ANSWERS.#also AS a hater of crossovers i just think dooms inclusion is very disjointed in the story. hes got some interesting stuff to say when hes#around but when he disappears for like 20 issues and by the time he does a military coup (the buildup to which was in his OWN run) ur just#kind of disorientated by his reemergence in the narrative. comic reader complains about hallmarks of the medium SURE but like.#for STORYTELLING purposes i feel like this isnt the best. like to prioritise reiterating miguels venom abilities so new readers know whats#going on w him but assuming its not going to be disorientating if doom suddenly injects himself into the narrative#where the stakes and buildup are in a COMPLETELY different run and never alluded to just honestly sucks as storytelling to me#like ur going to give new readers a power run down of the protagonist of THE RUN??? but not coordinate foreshadowing for your own crossover#???? like i KNOW that would be a lot of work but its also like. why NOT make the effort to do it effectively yknow?#tunes talks critical#man this went all over the place#tunes talks 2099
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egophiliac · 10 months ago
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well, I can't say I expected the new chapter to feature Idia (metaphorically) going to (metaphorical) hell, getting a pep talk from his (metaphorical) Phantom brother which helps him finally move on once and for all from his brother's death, and (metaphorically) overblotting again to fight his way back out of (metaphorical) hell, only to have his darkest fear (non-metaphorically) come true when his mom goes through his computer and finds all his secret files. but I am glad it did!
also this is all a flashback for the purpose of explaining to our group what the heck is going on (whether or not any of it is getting through is another matter)
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benevolenterrancy · 3 months ago
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May your hardened heart be woken By the soft and distant song Of all you left here unspoken All the shards we keep stepping on - Take this body home Take this body home Call the wind, and let her know Take this life outgrown Take this broken soul Call the stars, call them all And take it high, take it far, take it home
#svsss#luo binghe#shen qingqiu#bingqiu#sqq#lbh#scum villain#heard the song Take This Body Home by Rose Betts and it nearly took me out at the knees#it really really suits sqq's self-detonation in hua yue city right? i'm not the only one feeling this?#considered adding some literal shards for them to be stepping on - since sqq's sword explodes - but i couldn't quite make it work#anyway this has been playing like a music video in my head for the past couple days highly recommend listening to the song#if you haven't heard it before#can't get over the absolute dissonance between how sqq views this scene and how everyone else must feel about it#like to him he's just completing his plan - hopefully keeping lbh from destroying a city with energy imbalance and escaping The Plot#nbd! he and sqh have planned it all out it's FINE :) off he goes!#meanwhile everyone who loves him - including lbh who worked years to get back to him and is trying to work through a lot of grief#and resentment and doubt and longing and... - watches him DIE in FRONT OF THEM#just collapse while coughing up blood sword disintegrating energy completely consumed#like holy hell sqq could you traumatize the people around you any more???#no wonder lbh went a little bit crazy after that like my man was already not in a great place but what the fuck#lbh watches his shizun presumably sacrifice himself for him ONCE AGAIN like after he's finally Gotten Strong his shizun is STILL#coming to harm in an effort to make up for his shortcomings#my art#most of the time out here drawing what amounts to muppets and then sometimes i get the urge for this and just need to cover everyone in blo
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pineappical · 2 years ago
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in light of tedtrent becoming so real, im also jumping on the tedtrent epilogue 😊
there's just no way ted wouldn't keep in touch with the others (and have weekly zoom meetings just like in the christmas special) and I just love the thought of the whole team having reunions once in a while.
and going back to trent's arc in s3, the sunflowers conversation, "And your daughter?" "She's never been happier." I think it could go the same for ted.. we've never really properly saw how henry felt about his dad being in london, it's always other people that told ted his son misses him, who's to say henry would rather see his dad happy because that in turn would make him happy too? he was there to win the whole thing, right? I just know ted’s story isn’t done yet when he still hasn’t learned to let others take care of him in return and who else to pair him with than the man who blew up his career because a man was nice to him (and also because they were so. so cruel for the fakeout tedbecca scenes for that finale) 🥺
I'm no writer so just pretend these are snapshots of a slow burn fic where ted visits london for their team reunion and slowly realizes that trent has a crush on him and they kiss about it 💛
#ted lasso#trent crimm#tedependent#ted lasso fanart#tedtrent#ted x trent#I HAVE SOOOOOO MUCH MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS BTW its just that its 4am rn and i cannot type down my thoughts for the life of me </3#im just so not over that ending and how weird it felt for ted to end his story like that.. not like he can turn back to michelle since#dr. jacob is right there.. i want this man to feel loved and cared for and actually have a place he knows he can call home and that was#richmond for me.. to the family we were born with. and to the family we make along the way etc etc etc#ted lasso spoilers#<- FORGOT ABOUT THAT.#i can finally say i loved the ending for all the callbacks and stuff but I NEED THIS MAN TO BE HELDDDD!!!!! *everything explodes around me*#he even went back there WITHOUT BEARD :( his bestfriend for sooo long who was there for all their ups and downs. i dont like beard and jane#being together but the fact ted didnt even go to their wedding too like ...??! what is going onnnn#also graying lasso is just something so indulgent for me . hush#pn.art#JUST YKNOW!!! I HOPE YALL UNDERSTAND WHAT IM SAYING ITS REALLY REALLY LATE I PROBABLY SHOULDVE WAITED TILL LATER TO POST THIS BUT JAHJVAKDG#my memory is really bad too so i could also be misremembering scenes and im too eepy to check the scenes i had in mind so u_u#ALSO apologies that its taking me sooo long to draw things i recently joined a mc server and ive been playing it all day and night HFSJGFSH#im sooo scared of making these type of posts because i dont have the balls to make the wrong choices in other people's eyes but GRAAH!!!!!#<- i love tedtrent bUT WHAT IF PEOPLE THINK IM CRINGGGEEEE!!!!!#THATS ALL.... i have more drawings in mind that ill get around to later.. for now goodnight <3
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the-labyrinth-of-me · 5 months ago
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Wait did both Alice and Zane record Alan when he was at his lowest point? Didn't Alice make her exhibition to show the world what she sees? To show Alan the truth about himself? That it never was Scratch visiting and terrorizing her, but Alan himself? Did she depict his "self" and Zane depicted his "persona"? The two sides of him that he wishes he can eliminate bc they brought him into trouble (Scratch representing anger and the fallouts with paparazzi and stuff, Zane representing his self-destructive behavior with alcohol and drugs and the party nights)? The both sides that caused his marriage to start falling apart? Was that the reason Zane made that video of Alan when they were on that booze and drug-fueled bender while working on the Return manuscript? Is this party video the companion piece?? Alan's downward spiral, same as Alice's photos? Do they fucking work together aasdffjfjfkfk
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sotc · 1 month ago
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missin my crow familia so baddd rn 💔
#*armas de riva#dont even mind me i just want this in armas' tag#love teia and luca bonding over how insufferable their partners are bc those brothers constantly bicker at each other <3#insane lucanis attempted to flirt up viago in the past and it went unnoticed. also crazy teia flirts up armas and teases luca being jealous#viago and teia flirting blatantly w/ each other in front of them. seeing them argue is just foreplay ugh get a room guys 🙄.#viago feeling compelled to talk to *the first talon* about dating his younger brother. embarrassing for everyone honestly.#actually even funnier if viago has to talk to *armas* about dating *the first talon* and caterina's *demon of a grandson*#the threat of lucanis being caterina's grandson and his reputation alone once sent shivers down that grown man's his spine before.#don't fuck this up armas. 🫵 don't make our house look bad in front of caterina. but also. im sure it's code for about worrying for him 💗#and GOOD FUCKING LUCK TO ARMAS NOW BEING UNDER CATERINA'S INTENSE SCRUTINY DATING HER GRANDSON. HOLY FUCK. lmao.#his mission when invited to the dellamorte family dinner?: SURVIVE (and viago and teia help him prep for it LOL)#this dynamic is so funnnyyy help. i love it all so much#the kind of familia (and work place lol) where they all know each other's gossip and drama. UGH love a family business you know?#veilguard spoilers#jic#datv spoilers#this isn't even including viago/armas family trips to visit the king or even illario. it would get even funnier with him around too.
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psychomusic · 3 months ago
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so. I've been reading some posts on the jedi order tag AND i won't talk about my opinion on "are jedi good or bad discourse" BUT i wanna point out some lore to everyone who's complaining about the jedi taking kids into their order: (in the EU) it wasn't always like this.
if you take swtor era (more than 3000 years before the prequels) there were many jedi who joined at an older age. like, for example there was a guy who broke his engagement to become one. most jedi remember their families because they were old enough when they decided to go.
THEN in darth bane's book trilogy (circa 1000 yesrs before the prequels) there is a passage where two sith lords are talking about taking bane, already an adult, to study at korriban. one doubted him because he was too old, ans the other told him he sounded like a jedi, and that ONE DAY jedi will have to accept only kids into their ranks if they really want to find "pure" people that can learn their lessons quicker.
one day!! so it wasn't always like that!! the ongoing wars with the sith, who corrupted and killed many of them, had pressured them into taking always younger people into their ranks.
also, consider a thing that this video explains super well: training to become a jedi is not like exercising, because there is a transformative lesson at the end of the training that changes everything. you can't just do as much as you can, but not finish.
the transformative lesson, as the video explains, is that through the force, everything is the same - from rocks and ships to life and death. at the end of the training you have to understand this fundamental truth.
yoda says "you have to unlearn what you have learned". during times where they were constantly killed off or corrupted by the dark side (and if you haven't learned this lesson you are more susceptible to this corrupting), younger people were taken in to actually finish their training (a training that was ultimately about being a good person AND that you could leave at any point if you weren't sold on that, too)
(remember that for the sith failure = death. like. that was the alternative for force sensitive kids. it's not like sith had any moral problem with taking kids away without consent. sith don't have moral problems: they believe that them being stronger in the force means they can do whatever they want as long as their strong enough to go and do it. there are MANY passages in many different star wars stories, even in different mediums, that say this out loud)
AND (this is more of a critical thought than just stating the lore) the fact that they started doing it out of necessity doesn't mean it's 100% good BUT you know. the whole set up of the prequels is that we're starting off the story in a period of crisis and decadence all around. most of the systems of the times were about to fall. OF COURSE they had problems. if they didn't, we wouldn't have the story to begin with.
that doesn't automatically mean jedi = bad and sith are better, tho. you wouldn't take the last, chaotic and decadent period to jugde something, would you? it's like deciding that the athenian democracy sucked because people at the times of Demosthenes failed at recognizing the new schemes in which the world was evolving into, and still believed that their city would be important as it had been in the previous century. They just didn't fucking expect the Macedons would conquer half the world known and more, and have the subsequent political power. Still, their experiences in the 5th century with democracy were very good, even better than ours on many fronts, if you contextualize a little. the jedi had flaws, and most importantly, they didn't fucking know the future and everything that ever happened, ever, so they made mistakes. that doesn't automatically make the system ill, or bad, or not-working. systems can have setbacks when the world changes. (just like athenian democracy had one when they lost the empire that was funding the democracy. they even had a tyranny for a while and then fixed the problems. that doesn't diminish retrospectively their democracy)
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freakinator · 3 months ago
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i need to get crazier about zamdoons i think
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nutcasewithaknife · 2 years ago
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Can't help but think about how much of Jiang Cheng’s 'I am nothing without my core' outburst when he wakes up after losing it is not because he needs to be the best but because he just lost the only thing he could do for his mother after she died. If it would've mattered less to him once he'd gotten the time to mourn her loss. If he stays up at night thinking about how all his accomplishments so far were possible because of Wei Wuxian's core, and how that would've disappointed her even more. If he thinks that she would've let Wei Wuxian give him his core had she been around back then, and feels an old but horribly familiar anger burn through him. If he still curses her for her last words to Wei Wuxian and curses himself for parroting them. If he curses Wei Wuxian for believing them.
Can't help but wonder if his dedication to the sect was to protect its people and those who depended on it just as much as it was about continuing a legacy, upholding his duty. If he really did all that to make his dead mother proud and earn his dead father's respect, if these considerations ever took first place in the light of day where he had a sect and a nephew to look after, or got relegated to the late hours when he lay awake, haunted by the past. Can't help but wonder if he ever saw Jin Ling cry, realised that his own mother would've scolded him for showing weakness, and decided that what she thought mattered less than he'd realised.
Can't help but wonder how much his mother still haunts his life.
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m00ngbin · 1 year ago
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It is so ridiculous that toichiro decided that a LITERAL MIDDLE SCHOOLER was his worst enemy. DUDE. GET A GRIP OH MY GOD
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sukunasweetheart · 1 year ago
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Why do you like Sukuna so much?
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I was halfway through writing up a few paragraphs but i ended up scrapping it bc i ddint knwo what i was saying anymore. Hes just. My everything
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I JUAT LOVE HIM SAUR MUCH WHAT IS THERE NOT TO LOVE??#;@**# HES SO GRRRRAAAHHHHHHHH 💝💓💝💓💗💗💘💓💝💕💘💞💓💝💗💝💓💝💞💝💞💘💞💓💝💓💓💝💘💞💞💝💓💝💗💓💝💘💞💕💘💞💘💓💓💗💝💓💝💘💞💘💕💞💝💓💝💓💞💝💞💞💝💞💓💝💗💝💞💞💝💓💝💓💝💞💞
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sunmoontruth-stiles · 9 months ago
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I need a completely rewritten teen wolf series with Derek Hale as the main character. I think it would heal me.
#we follow Derek from New York. Laura left for beacon hills. it’s been six years since he was back but he hasn’t heard from her#and hes going stir crazy waiting. he packs up and travels back. it’s almost too much immediately. he still can’t get a hold of Laura#he can’t resist going home. it’s like a natural pull that guides him back. all at once he’s 16 again. staring at the wreckage of his life#deputy stilinski is sherrif now. it’s reassuring in the slightest that the police force seems to have moved on from how corrupt it was#he catches her scent and it’s putrid. bile catches in his throat. he seeks it out. still in denial to what he knows it means.#when he finds Laura it’s like the world ends all over again. he can’t stand to see her like this. he gives her a proper burial.#the best he can do at least#he visits Peter. he’s not the man Derek remembers- so full of fire and cunning. their relationship may have been strained at times.#often Derek felt more like Eve being swayed by the snake than a normal friendship#but this isn’t the sharp tongued uncle who guided him. this is a broken shell. all that remained of his family. he was so lost.#22 but he barely knew how to function without his family- his pack paving the way#Laura handled everything. she got the apartment. she made sure they had food. Derek looks back and feels so useless#he was so lost in his grief. Laura must of felt the same way but she never let them drown in it#she made sure he got his GED. even got him to enroll in community college classes.#he took them online. he never was able to warm up to people the same way. he used to be so full of life. now he just wanted to be left alone#he studied English. never finished his degree. doesn’t look like he ever will now. he can’t go back to Laura and his shared home.#can’t bare to see another shell of a home#he vents to the vacant audience of Peter and his cold fixed eyes#Derek leaves. he wants to promise he’ll return soon#but promises feel costly these days#he decides to go back to the reserve. maybe he can find some clue as to what happened to Laura#someone lured her here. someone who knew them and their history here#his mind went to the worst. Kate. why would she go through the trouble six years later. why wait so long.#Derek couldn’t stomach the thought of facing her. he focused on the woods. the scents were all over the place.#clearly multiple people had been through here recently. two scents were much stronger. Derek follows them#but when he hears the crunch of leaves he realizes why the scents are so strong. they’re still here#he ducks behind some trees. listening in on their conversation. but an echo of their scent catches his attention#he spots an inhaler on the ground. he puts two and two together and swipes it from the leaves.#he comes out once they’re closer. tossing over the inhaler- he figures they’ll leave. dumb kids messing around in the woods#he reminds them this is private property. though that may not be true anymore. he recognizes the scent of a new beta. interesting.
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zappedbyzabka · 1 year ago
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Sacrificial lamb and all that
#baby baby baby#He said :(#and#he said ☹️#The way Kreese stared at him and hovered like a hungry wolf ready to pounce the whole time#the way Johnny tried not to cry and sweat and went straight into the arms of his predator like he has for YEARS#because he’d been literally in Kreese’s hands. Given to him and left with him. for YEARS.#And the way he stared up at him so desperate and melted into his grasp#let him swipe his hurting nose and obeyed when he made him do something he didn’t want to#because who else does he have. And his mom wasn’t there. and he had to go home with bruises all over him and no one#to Sid. to be mocked and laughed at some more. to cry all alone in his bed thinking about how the man he trusted and loved hurt him#And I think Kreese was more jealous. murderously so. that Johnny clearly wanted to be on good terms with LaRusso rather than so mad he lost#and by the time he realized he went too far and he lost his little champion—whom he ‘loves most besides CK’—he decided to get revenge on#Miyagi and Daniel. because it’s THEIR fault he did that to johnny in the first place. he hates them both with a passion. HE was humiliated#in front of his boy and the rest of the cobras by Miyagi. and Daniel…he changed Johnny. he practically took him away from Kreese.#Man is delusional cause that’s 10000% how he sees things#and GOD the way he begs Johnny to come back in ck. and then hurt him more because ‘thats what was best for him’#and Johnny moves away from his touch and stares at him like an abused animal but still lets him stay#because he still loves him despite everything#he knows Kreese is in his own reality and does love him. but he realized his worth to an extent#realized its not okay for Kreese to have done all those things to him#and brainwashed him#and he was being victim blamed the whole time Kreese came back to cobra kai#I cant.#I’m SCREAMING. everything was taken from him but it was his fault because he ‘shouldnt have let Kreese come back’#Only unobservant idiots ignore the fact that he was abused his whole life just so they can hate on him constantly.#johnny lawrence#cobra kai#karate kid#Still love Kreese though
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constantvariations · 1 month ago
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Tripping on "the goal of a savior is not to be lionized" again and I can't help but think of that one jewish story
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Compare Adam and the wealthy man to those with Hero Syndrome: all are (supposedly, in Adam's case) attempting to gain attention and public affection by doing good deeds, but opposing systemic oppression or building an orphanage are acts that benefit large swathes of people as opposed to an individual resolving a purposefully contained conflict. There's reason to condemn the latter, especially when it's done by those with authority over life and death, but the only grievance to the former is thought crime
Which is, like much of this show, a very Christian thing. Having selfish motivations behind actions do not cancel out the good those actions cause yet thoughts are also subjected to the judgement of god with equal weight
I haven't the slightest idea as to the writers' personal beliefs, but seeing as how Texas is 77% christian and christianity dominates American culture as a whole, it's impossible to argue that it hasn't influenced their writing. The theology I believe rwby echoes the most is Calvinism, the most rotten of the bunch. It holds the belief that humanity is so thoroughly stained by the original sin that they are incapable of saving themselves, that only god's grace can bring them salvation
But grace is in short supply
Thus, god decides apropos of naught but ☆~vibes~☆ who gets salvation and who gets eternal damnation. This choice cannot and does not change no matter how much good or evil a person puts into the world
This is why Emerald and Ilia's redemption arcs fall short, why Adam was never even considered for it, why our protagonists will never need it despite their own multitude of sins: redemption is not a thing earned, it is a thing bestowed. Those who have it are Good, now and forever, and those who don't are Bad, now and forever
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carnivalls · 3 months ago
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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thedreadvampy · 1 year ago
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My housemate is moving out in January
She told us this a week or two ago, when she sat down and, after sitting with us watching TV for over an hour, said "hey so I bought a house and I'm moving out. We agreed on 2 months notice so I won't move until the end of January."
The last time she talked in the immediate terms about buying a house was in 2021, when the sale she was working on fell though and she was unemployed so it was a "when I'm back in a position to look I'll start looking again." Since then I've occasionally asked her how she's doing on the house buying front and she's been like "oh I'm getting there financially" but hasn't mentioned anything concrete.
She didn't tell us she was looking at places. She didn't tell us she had put in an offer. She told us when the offer was finalised. A week AFTER she emailed the letting agent about getting out of her part of the lease. And, it increasingly feels like, only because the letting agent's response was that we had to agree to change the lease.
The letting agent's response (which our housemate obviously didn't copy us into; we had to follow up separately and they copied us into the email chain) also includes that when we change the lease, they're empowered to change the rent, quote, "no cap". Rent was already going up in January - there's no possibility of Sam and I paying her share of the rent.
The really fucking upsetting thing is we're not strangers. This isn't a casual "housemate we found on flatshare" thing. She and Sam have lived together literally their entire adult lives. Me and her have known each other well over a decade. I lived in her and Sam's flat when I was homeless. We were the first people she came out to as trans. We're not super close but I thought we were fucking friends. And she's literally gone out of her way to not talk to us about this for what must have been months while the sale completed - which means she's lied to my face at least once cause I've asked her about her finances in that time (cause she's in a job she hates that she only took to get the house money, so it's like. when we've been commiserating about work stuff I'm often asking 'are you almost free?'). she literally went out of her way to talk to the letting agents before talking to us about putting us in a situation where we could lose our fucking home.
And she keeps. trying. to pretend nothing's happened. Every time I've seen her since then she's not mentioned anything or apologised or anything, she just keeps chatting away and offering hugs and fistbumps like nothing's happened. Like we're still fucking friends.
All it would take for us to still be friends and to be happy for her would have been one fucking sentence in the groupchat like "hey, just put an offer in on a house" or "I'm looking at properties, just so you know, that might happen in the next few months". Like nobody begrudges her for buying a house! It's very cool for her! She's 31 she's worked really hard to get the money I would love to be happy for her! Unfortunately she decided avoiding conflict is more important than giving the people she fucking LIVES WITH (who btw fronted her a month on the rent here while she was unemployed and agreed to take on a larger proportion of the move-in cost back in 2021, if we're still holding ourselves to shit we said 2.5 years ago), so no, you are not entitled to our friendship or to going back to normal.
like if she'd been honest with us it would have been something to process but we'd have had time to figure out our next steps. instead she's left us in a position where we have to find a new roommate before she gives her one month notice, which means finding someone by the end of December, which oh look that's the middle of the fucking Christmas holidays. and she didn't tell us anything until the START of December, or copy us into her conversation with the letting agent, meaning we still don't know what the rent on that space will be so we aren't yet in a position to advertise it. Has she offered to help find a roommate? Has she fuck. Has she offered to help out by moving her move-out date? Nah, she's moving as soon as she gets the keys because, quote, "that means her finances won't have to change". SOUNDS LOVELY. NOT HAVING YOUR FINANCES SUDDENLY CHANGE. I THINK THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY REASONABLE FUCKING GOAL.
Thirteen fucking years she's lived with Sam. Four fucking weeks over Christmas she's left us to figure out a way to not turbofuck our living situation. And she's got the fucking nerve to try and pretend we should be interacting like nothing's changed. Jesus Christ. What a fucking unhinged way to treat...anybody, honestly. never mind the friends-your-entire-adult-life part. literally cannot imagine a scenario in which I would buy a house without telling the people I lived with.
(haha actually this is what my parents divorced over so apparently it's not unusual. although at least my dad had the decency to tell the woman he shared finances with at the point he put in an offer not the point the fucking sale went through.)
Like we'll be fine. It's a huge city centre flat with decent rent and queer housemates, hopefully even when the rent goes up it'll be an easy sell in a city with a huge housing shortage and big queer community. We've got a couple of people interested already, sight unseen - worst case scenario we have to live with someone we don't get on with. And it's given Sam and me a push to look at our own finances and as of today, we've got a mortgage decision in principle and can start looking at flats in the area - mind, we'll be transparent upfront and tell any prospective housemates that yeah, we're looking to buy and move out in the next 6-12 months, and we'll tell them if we put an offer in, because we're decent fucking people who aren't going to spring that on someone out of the blue.
But it's been I think 2 weeks and I'm so fucking angry I could spit. It's such a fucking betrayal. And frankly you know selfishly like. I just had a breakup a couple of months ago, I'm in the middle of moving jobs, both me and Sam have a history of housing instability and this has been the first decent, stable, safe, not-mouldy not-freezing home I think any of us have had, and this is so fucking triggering and upscuttling I could just start biting. like I was talking to my friend about it last week and it's just like. Can I have One Fucking Thing of the three main tentpoles of survival - home, work, relationships - that are fucking stable right now? because shit has been In Flux lately. and at least the work and relationship stuff has changed because of my decisions. going through all that work to make myself short-term unstable to gain long-term stability has been really hard and draining and then just as I was reaching the crisis point with work stuff BOOM, IT'S HOUSING INSTABILITY WITH A STEEL CHAIR. fuck. seriously fuck this and fuck her. we're going to make something good come of it but what a deeply, unbelievably shitty thing to do.
#red said#the other thing that bugs me about it is. ok and again this is old shit dredged back to 2021 when we moved in together#but i had my housemate. and Sam had her. and each of us were really close pairs who'd lived together a long time#and we tried looking for flats as a four but a) a flat with 4 good sized bedrooms in Edinburgh is hens teeth#and b) my housemate was pretty happy to live with me and Sam but increasingly felt like a 4 man flat was going to be a lot for him#and so in the end we talked about it. and through a combination of that and same housemate being in a pretty#unfavorable position housing wise. cause she was unemployed and had shit credit at that moment.#we agreed she'd move with us and Joe went and found a one bed#and in the end that's been really great for him tbh he's a lot happier and more confident and we were pretty sick of each other by then#and so we get on much better now#but at the time it was a real heartache i felt like I'd let Joe down i felt like our friendship was over#and honestly I have never been a huge fan of living with our current housemate. even before we lived here#like when i was staying with her and Sam too. she's incredibly messy and takes up a lot of space in conversations#I've always liked her as a person but she's exhausting and often unpleasant to share space with#and there's a bit of me that's like. we bent over backwards to accommodate you when you were precarious.#like it would have been WAY easier for us to look for a 2-bed during 2021. and if it was a 3-bed I'd have rather stayed with Joe.#but we moved with her for her sake. and she left Sam to clean up their old place (and there were Literal Rats)#and she got really pissy about driving the moving van even though a) that was her idea and b) she's the only person with a license#and c) i walked all MY shit over by hand anyway and the only reason she hired the van was to move her tv#me and Sam found all the core furniture. me and Sam sorted out all the viewings. me and Sam did all the planning. Sam set up all the bills.#we spotted her for rent!we took a bigger share of the costs! because we fucking cared about her and wanted her to have a fucking home!#and she can't even do us the courtesy you'd offer a fucking lodger you found on fucking gumtree
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