#man this blows first my dad then my cats /:

[snakegills]

Man I'm still so shaken up over my cat like we cleaned up those house and put a lot of his old stuff in storage since yknow he's gone now and its... it's just so weird like man... my little guy is gone? For real? Forever? Like shit what's a house with no cat ):

[lxvvie]

Couples Shit with Simon Riley, Part 2:

Thinking Simon is asleep when he isn't. Or so he says. Case in point: Simon in all his cattiness made you his pillow. Your nails were working miracles scratching along his scalp which had him dozing off and lightly snoring. Or so you thought. You heard him grumble, "Why'd you stop, luvie?" when you moved your hand. He'll deny he was asleep, too, like the peepaw that he is.

To piggyback off the first point, Simon will sometimes quietly grab your hand and put it back on his head if you stop scratching his scalp. If you stop a second time, he will have experienced a betrayal man and cat were never supposed to know, and it's Affection Denied™ for the rest of the day lmao.

Texting each other when you're in two separate rooms because you don't feel like talking out loud. Sometimes, you'll text him some crazy shit that'll warrant him leaving the room he was in to silently judge you.

Absolutely loving to watch him shave in the morning because Simon is so sexy when he's concentrating, eyebrows furrowed, and those brown eyes staring intensely in the mirror.

You and Simon shit-talking each other in bed because you'll complain about being hot with the covers and cuddle pile you two have going on but never really doing anything to change it. You two actually can't get a good night's sleep without being up under the other.

Simon banning you from watching horror films because, for the hundredth bloody time, he didn't hear shit, love. He actually did and it was the neighbors but he can't be arsed to get out of bed.

Speaking of neighbors, it's you and Simon lying in bed, listening to the neighbors make sex and when it's done, Simon goes, "Mm. A new record," and he sounds so unimpressed which causes you to guffaw. Oh my fucking god—

Getting in the dog house with Simon because when your hands are cold, you stick them down in his pants to rest on his thighs because it's hilarious to see him jump and that's what he gets for not turning the heat up. Simon counterargues that he did turn it up. Three degrees.

Introducing Simon to the wonders of Spa Day at home because his skin needs some TLC. Simon looking like someone's stressed auntie with a ciggie dangling from his lips, wearing a really comfortable bathrobe you got him, and eye masks on.

You two treating it like the end of the world whenever one of y'all gets sick (Simon to a lesser extent) because how in the hell will you get your daily dose of affection?

Going all out and having a whole-ass reveal party for your newest edition to the family, Pup. You gave the boys shirts to wear in celebration. You wore Dad, Simon wore... Mom????, Kyle got Uncle, Soap got... Big Brother??? and Price got... Grandfather. Grand. Father. "Congrats, Cap'n." "Shut up."

Pranking Simon by calling him some random guy's name just to see his reaction. Simon stops what he's doing, judges you in Ghost, and goes, "Who the fuck is Anthony?" After that, it's on sight for Anthony. Whoever the fuck that is. Simon gets you back, though, and he's all, "Ask Anthony" "Oh? You love Anthony, too?" "Sorry sweetheart, Simon is taken. Better go to Anthony." Real funny, asshole.

Simon thinking you're about to go down on him. Not the way he thinks, though. You've situated yourself between his thighs, put his legs on your shoulders, and lower your head to... blow raspberries in his tummy. Like... whole-ass tunes. The disappointment on his face is immeasurable. But then you have him chuckling because you're fuckin' adorable looking up at him like that and your raspberries are ticklish.

[preet-01]

This has been in my drafts for so long

Max Ricciardo had a very particular routine, one that he hated to stray from. It went a little like this:

In the morning, Daniel would wake him up with kisses. So many of them. And more often than not, those kisses would end with Daniel’s cock buried in Max. The best way to spend the morning in his opinion.

Then they’d eventually tear themselves away from one another long enough to make it to the bathroom. Where they’d shower together and nothing was better than feeling up his husband’s naked and wet body right after some mind blowing sex.

Daniel always made breakfast. It wasn’t that Max expected that of Daniel, but the last time Max had tried, he’d burnt the eggs and nearly set their apartment on fire. It was safer to let Daniel take care of the cooking, especially in the morning. So while Daniel cooked, Max sat at the breakfast bar making flirty comments in the hopes of turning Daniel red.

After breakfast, Daniel would kiss Max again. He’d then go down to their bakery that had been opened by Matilda two hours earlier. Daniel always had a way with charming the morning customers that Max never could. So until noon, Max washed the dishes, fed the cats, made a list of things they’d need for dinner, and played fifa.

Then at noon, Max would head down to the bakery with some sandwiches or last night’s leftovers. By that point, Daniel and Matilda would have been joined by Graham (who Daniel believed to be harboring not-so secret feelings for Matilda). Sometimes Max and Daniel would eat lunch together in the back with Max telling him about the cats and the new terror they were raising in the apartment. (He still wasn’t over the two days that Jimmy had gone missing or the time Sassy had chewed through all of Max’s shoes. They never messed with Daniel.) Other times the bakery would be too busy and they’d eat in turns.

Daniel would spend the next four hours at the bakery with Max and Graham since Matilda always had to leave at 1pm for her classes. Then Daniel left with the list Max had made. He always popped over to the gym first, working out with Scotty. After that it would be to the shops to get everything on the list and almost always, he stopped at the flower shop.

By the time the bakery closed, Daniel would be entering their apartment with groceries and flowers in hand. They cooked dinner together – Max was trusted to do the chopping and occasional stirring.

Dinner was never at the table, always on the sofa with the next episode of the show they were watching. The cats loved to cuddle up to Daniel after dinner which often left Max grumbling about not getting any cuddles until Daniel would wrap his arm around him and pull him close.

More times than not, Max found himself riding Daniel at the end of the night or underneath him or against the wall or bent over the nearest surface.

It was a good routine, a great routine that Max hated to stray from.

So it was a bit of a fucking surprise when he woke up in a hospital room with some stranger and his dad standing around, but no Daniel. He doesn’t recall any situation where he’d end up in the hospital rooms and it had been a good five years since he’d cut off contact with his dad.

“Daniel?” he croaks, trying to find any hint of his husband and fearing the worst when he doesn't.

“Daniel?” one of the men questions with furrowed brows. He has a British accent and a Red Bull logo shirt. “Max, what's the last thing you remember?” the man questions.

“Daniel and I were talking,” Max replies. They’d been talking about adoption that night. Max had brought it up as they laid in bed. He can’t remember what Daniel had said in response, but he had a feeling it had been good. Daniel was meant for fatherhood.

“Max, you were in the car at the Red Bull Ring. Daniel’s in Australia to celebrate his birthday with his family,” the man says.

Max has no idea what’s going on or what the Red Bull Ring is or how it was Daniel’s birthday because they’d celebrated it two months earlier with Max all tied up. But he just nods along, not liking the glaring look he was receiving from his father.

It only gets weirder from there.

He’s apparently not married to Daniel. He’s a driver for the Red Bull F1 team and a two time world champion. Daniel is also a driver, but he had a few hard seasons and had to take a step back to a reserve/test role at Red Bull. They’re not even dating.

Everything about the world he finds himself in is wrong. How could he not be with Daniel? Was this version of himself stupid? Why was he not Max Ricciardo already? It wasn't fun being Max Verstappen.

He wants to go back to being Max Ricciardo. He wants to wake up in Daniel’s arms with kisses and cuddles. He wants to be a bakery owner married to the man he loves.

Even worse, he thinks, is that Max Verstappen, the one that is supposed to be the two time world champion and not-husband of Daniel, is probably with his Daniel. He never expected to be jealous of himself for being with Daniel. But his stupider version was out there getting his husband’s kisses and loving, so he had the right to be jealous. That fucker was getting to enjoy everything about Max’s life while Max had to endure a Daniel-less existence as a driver of all things. That Max got to be married to Daniel, meanwhile Max hadn’t even seen this Daniel.

He finally sees Daniel a week after he woke up in the hospital. There’s some Red Bull charity event thing that Christian, the man that had asked him questions, brought him to. Daniel’s there. Not nearly as beautiful as the Daniel that Max was married to, but still stunning. Of course he would still be stunning, it is Daniel.

There’s something sadder about this Daniel that he doesn’t like. A sadness that Max had never seen in his Daniel’s eyes. It’s probably that this Daniel doesn’t have a Max loving him. Pity. He would have to change that… it isn’t cheating if he’s with this Daniel, right? It’s still Daniel technically.

[earlgraytay]

....God, now my brain is trying to spit out a DunMeshi Hollywood AU...

Laios is a former child actor whose career trajectory most closely resembles that of Macaulay Caulkin. His dad was his manager, and this went about as well as you'd expect. Laios dropped out of public life for a long, long time in his late teens- people say he was in rehab, though whether that's true is best left as an exercise for the reader- and, as an adult, his acting credits mostly consist of cameos as "Serial Killer" or "Drug Dealer 3" on crime shows. He's trying to become a director and keeps working on incredibly offputting Z-grade horror flicks that can't get seed money. on account of. well. laios. His friends are always welcome to take a role- as cast or crew- if they need something between gigs.

Falin is also a former child actor. Unlike Laios, she managed to get out of the biz with her sanity intact- she got accepted to a very prestigious STEM magnet high school, which is where she met Marcille, and went to med school after. She's wound up working as the set doctor for a couple movies you've heard of and a lot of movies you haven't; she's also been "the Chimera", a monster in several of Laios' horror flicks.

Marcille is in pyrotechnics. She seems mild mannered at first, but then you catch her on set up to her elbows in gasoline... well. She spends more time in the medical tent than anyone would like, especially Falin. She's got a YouTube channel as a side hustle where she blows things up in parking lots and freaks out at bad Italian cooking.

Speaking of, Marcille went to high school with Falin and fell for her pretty much instantly. They recently moved in together and are trying to navigate living together for the first time. It's not going as well as either of them would like, but they're getting there.

Senshi works catering. Was there ***any*** doubt about that? Everyone's excited to work on the same set as Senshi, because the food is actually good, regardless of whether you're filming in Monterrey, Marrakesh, or Mentor, Ohio. Senshi's pretty quiet about his personal life, but he'll occasionally whip out his phone and show off pictures of his stunning, xeriscaped garden. He loves working with Laios, even though the pay isn't great, because Laios WILL let him put squid and dragonfruit on the menu.

Chilchuck is a stuntman, and the de facto union rep on most sets. He can tell you, to the second, when the next mandated break is, when the kid on set needs to be done for the day, and when it's time to go home. I headcanon human!AU Chilchuck is a little person, so his proudest career accomplishment to date is probably standing in for Peter Dinklage in a film where he got to be the leading man; he's real fucking sick of being a bootleg hobbit. Somehow, he manages to spend LESS time in the medical tent than Marcille.

Itsuzumi ... God. Her background is so specific and doesn't translate well. My gut instinct is that she's a cat-themed idol who came to the US to be ~☆ a movie star ☆~ and got stuck in a shitty, exploitative contract. I'd love it if someone who knows the character better could give suggestions, though!

[tobias-hankel]

❤️2023 Quan-Tea-Co Fics Recs🖤

The wonderful members of our discord server, Quan-Tea-Co, have written a lot of fanfics this year - this is the rec list!

🖤 SFW No Ship Fics

the friendship we have is a rare find by cherubcurls, Gen, In and out. “I've got this.” she affirmed to herself breathily, looking down at her hands that held two cups of coffee rather than one, still steaming, still fresh. Her heart swelled with affection. She grinned, “We've got this.” OR; Penelope and Spencer agree to meet up to have a study session before finals. A couple of things change and they end up not studying at all.

and i saw my life in photographs of faded memories by whateverislovely, Gen, Morgan reminds him just a little too much of the football players who bullied him relentlessly all through high school and even college. He’s big and imposing, with bulging muscles and a look on his face that says, Are you kidding me? when Hotch informs him that Spencer is the newest member of the BAU team. Five times Spencer misinterprets Morgan's intentions, and one time he's finally able to straighten things out.

where do we begin to get clean again by whateverislovely, Teen, Spencer often participates in toasts with the group using water or tea or potato chips instead of alcohol. This fic explores the events that may have led him to stop drinking.

silence like a cancer grows by whateverislovely, Teen, Diana doesn’t forgive Spencer for having her institutionalized… at least, not right away.

❤️Mature No Ship Fics

Surrender by @starzzyeyed, Mature, He doesn't want this, not really. He never wanted it. But he's in too deep now, and getting out seems less and less possible as the days trickle on, like sand through an hourglass. Or: An in depth look at Reid's addiction, and what it might have been like for him.

what’s this, the consequences of my actions? by cherubcurls, Mature, Because Spencer wasn’t used to safe. He needed adrenaline to pump through his veins and soften the blow for him to have a good day. His family never really liked how violent he was. OR; Spencer comes back home from a particularly horrible fight and his Dad is less than amused.

Solved Game by Boots17, Mature, Solved game: a game whose outcome can be correctly predicted from any position, assuming that the game is played perfectly. A season 12 canon divergence in which Mr. Scratch dies a little too early, Reid accepts the plea deal, and Cat Adams plays a very long game. Years later, the two finally get their rematch.

Ships are under the cut

🖤SFW Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid

A Gentle Touch Hurts So Much by ProfessorWorm, Gen, Spencer has unaddressed childhood fears dredged up by Aaron’s attempt to help him recover from his knee injury.

Day 4 - FFC - Second Love by a1_kitkat, Teen, Spencer never much cared for anniversaries, neither does Aaron… this time there’s an exception.

There Are Secrets That We Still Have Left To Find by @starzzyeyed, Not Rated, Spencer Reid is seven years old the first time he comes out to anyone. Three times Spencer comes out, across three different points in his life, all with three very different outcomes.

❤️NSFW/Mature Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid

Subscribed by AestheticTek and @goobzoop, Explicit, After stressful cases, Hotch finds that camming in lingerie helps him to decompress, while Reid happens to stumble upon the most attractive man that greatly resembles his biggest crush, his boss.

The Absence of Sound by BluePenguinLightning, Mature, The sudden onslaught of sounds startled Spencer Reid awake, not that he ever slept well anyway. He hadn’t slept well in two hundred and seventy-four days. In all honesty, he wasn’t even sure how he managed to make it that far. In which Reid somehow manages to survive a sadistic psychopath but that's only the beginning.

kill your indulgences by cherubcurls, Explicit, Hotch was his; his to keep, his to possess, his to feed on. ���No,” he tried to mumble. As best as he could with his canines still firmly lodged onto his throat. “Mine.” OR; Hotch lets Spencer feed on him.

The Boy by house_of_lantis, Explicit, Lord Aaron Hotchner is one of the most ruthless rulers of the City. But despite his fearsome reputation, Lord Hotchner is respected by his people and beloved by those closest to him. He strives to bring order and justice to the City and to protect it from anyone who dared threaten it. Spencer is the newest addition to Aaron’s private harem, stolen from his previous master. Affectionately nicknamed the Boy, he is the exclusive body slave to Lord Hotchner and he learns to navigate the politics of the harem.

Hide and Seek by Highway58, Explicit, An Unsub fixates on the BAU Team, determined to make them his passion project. Spencer Reid is his ultimate target but in order to get to him, he has to go through the people he holds most dear in his life.

Heathen by Highway58, Explicit, The dreams would not stop. Ever since the unexpected case in Las Vegas when he forced himself to confront his painful past, Spencer Reid had not been able to sleep. The visions haunted him relentlessly... he couldn't resist the need to forget it all. Something was happening to him. Something he'd been suppressing for most of his life, ever since that one moment in his childhood he couldn't--wouldn't--face. Soon, very soon... he wouldn't be able to resist his own biology. Even though he had no idea it was even part of him. He was just a Beta... right? Spencer Reid approaches a crossroads he never imagined he could face.

Ain't Always Gold by Highway58, Explicit, Omega Spencer gets knocked up by his Mate Aaron Hotchner in the wake of Emily's death and he doesn't know it until it's about to kill him.

Call Me Daddy by goobzoop, Explicit, Aaron teaches Spencer how to date, but it’s not women he’s making him better for. It’s himself.

Let Me Be Your Only Choice by TobiasHankel, Explicit, After Spencer is kidnapped by Hankel, the team expects to find the omega scared and possibly beaten. They didn’t expect to find Spencer next to a dead Alpha and dying from bond rejection. With limited options and a dying Spencer, Hotch is forced to make a decision that Spencer can’t even consent to in order to save his life.

Every Version of You by goobzoop, Explicit, Hotch's whole world comes crashing down the moment he witnesses his husband get injured right in front of him. Spencer makes it through, but the road to recovery is more difficult than he could have ever imagined. Or, amnesia fic!

A Fool There Was by reasonablerodents, Explicit, Hotch is using Spencer to take out his frustrations regarding his failing marriage. Spencer is so desperately in love with him that he’ll put up with anything- just as long as he can be close to Hotch.

Touch The Leather by reasonablerodents, Explicit, “Well, the problem with shoes is- um, they’re dirty, there’s a staggering amount of bacteria even on the cleanest ones, I don’t want…” He trails off again, swallowing hard. Or: Hotch wants Spencer to prove how much he loves him.

Room on the Third Floor by Matthew1972, Explicit, One minute Aaron Hotchner is walking free, contemplating a forever with Spencer… the next he gets snatched away. Locked up in a cage to the whims of an unsub unlike any other he's ever faced. A hunter and wildcat shifter trafficker. But then, his inner panther and human self alike refuse to be tamed and collared to live out his days as the wildcat alone. To be another victim sold. Will his defiance become his downfall? Or does Aaron get to return home to Spencer and see through on his proposal?

🖤SFW Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid

Maybe Someday Soon by @justjasper, Teen, "Derek talks about you." The Morgan women know that he's in love with Reid. They also know that he is absolutely clueless about it.

Washed Away by TobiasHankel, Teen, It had been over a year since Spencer Reid went missing after he was kidnapped by Tobias Hankel. He was presumed to be dead, but Morgan refused to believe it and move on. After a case takes the team back to the same state Spencer went missing in, Morgan might just get the answers he has been looking for.

❤️ NSFW/Mature Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid

Spun Hearts by JustJasper, Explicit, After a harrowing case Morgan needs control, and Reid needs a fix, and they wind up in bed. Reid sees this as a potential evolution of their relationship, but Morgan is adament that he's not gay. The path towards what they both want isn't a simple one, and a recurring case brings some painful things to bare as they both try to navigate what they are to each other.

When We're Together, Our Bodies They Start Fires by JustJasper, Explicit, 2x06, "The Boogey Man", Reid sits in a police station practicing trying to lockpick a pair of handcuffs with a paperclip. Some short time later, he misses a hangout with Morgan, who goes to check on him.

🖤 Other Ships

Home by KatrioneSpecterRossi, Explicit, Emily Prentiss/David Rossi, Usually when there's a disturbance in the middle of the night, it involves Emily waking up from a PTSD-induced nightmare with her gun pointing at her bed partner's head. This time when she wakes up, it's for a very different reason...that turns out being a great deal more fun.

Level Pegging by Starzzy, Explicit, Elle Greenaway/Spencer Reid, “I don’t need, or frankly have the time to have sex,” he manages at last, somehow forcing his feet to move and take him forwards to the coffee maker. He almost forgoes the sugar entirely, wanting the bitter taste to wake him up from this walking nightmare he seems to be living in right now. “All I’m saying is, you wouldn’t be my first,” Elle says as she comes up to stand next to him.

❤️ Crossovers

I Used to Dread the Thought of Falling Quickly by Chaotic_Librarian, Explicit, Supernatural, Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Spencer Reid/Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Spencer Reid/Dean Winchester, Spencer Reid/Sam Winchester, Spencer Reid knows how to stumble into odd situations. But being kidnapped and then promptly flirted with? Seduced? by two of the FBI's Most Wanted? That has to take the cake. That, however, won't stop him from falling in love.

Entertained by Chaotic_Librarian, Explicit, Supernatural, Spencer Reid/Sam Winchester, Sam's sitting on his bar stool on the miniature stage again, his guitar in his lap.  Another stool serving as his table with a half-drunk glass of whiskey, he looks out across the mediocre crowd.  Typical Wednesday. That's his preferred crowd, anyway.  Joanne managing the bar, Pauline working the floor, and him on the stage as cheap entertainment.  Strumming his guitar and singing country songs he learned by heart years ago.  Sometimes he'll do requests.  But not often.  Not a lot of Kansans approach the stage when he's playing.  They just let him do his thing.

I Must Admit that I was Reeling by Chaotic_Librarian, Explicit, Supernatural, Spencer Reid/Sam Winchester, Aaron Hotchner/Dean Winchester, Spencer goes way too far to get closure on his fling with Sam Winchester. Because it was just a fling, right? It's not like they're meant to be, right?

To Love And To Be Loved In Return by reasonablerodents and Starzzy, Mature, Grease (1978), Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia/Derek Morgan, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner accepted a long time ago that he was never going to be able to be his true self. Not only was it illegal, it was highly unlikely that he’d ever find someone willing to be in hiding with him for the rest of their lives, unless America got a whole lot more open and accepting. That all changes when Spencer Reid transfers to Oakdale to finish his senior year.

Thank you everyone for making such great works this last year! The Quan-Tea-Co server is open to new members as long as you are over 18 years old. Invite Link.

[steddie-my-love]

You’re Our Kid

Dads!Blackbonnet x Daughter!Reader

Cw: Angst, (light) Canon Typical Violence, Harsh self image, not being beta read

—

Izzy Hands was pissed off. Granted, Izzy Hands is always pissed about everything but today was unlike anything the crew of the revenge had seen so far.

In these past few months he had watched Blackbeard, the most feared pirate in the world change before his very eyes. He was cheerful, having people call him ed and falling for Stede Bonnet. It wasn’t right.

Pirates weren't supposed to have attachments. The only thing you could trust was that they were always plotting against each other. Always ready to stab each other in the back or the side. But now ed had a kid and the whole world was upside down.

“Izzy” you called running onto the deck to greet the man “Sorry i’m late, i was helping frenchie with making dinner and I lost track of time. Are you ready for sword practice?”

He looked you up and down with cold eyes. Despite the hours of work you were still happy, still smiling, still the thing that had turned the most feared captain on the seven seas soft.

You had to go.

“Okay kid. We’re going to start with dueling technique” he rasped, drawing his scabbard from his waist and cleaning off the blade. “You’re going to have to face down all sorts and it’s your job to find your way out of it without help.”

You nodded dutifully, listening as the grizzled man eyed you up and down like a cat eyeing a mouse.

“The key is to catch your target off guard,” he continued “never expect a fair fight and never expect backup. In this life you only have yourself to rely on.”

In a sharp movement, Izzy swung his sword, cutting your wrist as your sword spun out of your hand. You glimpsed to the side to see where it had fallen but in the second you had looked away it was already too late.

You fell to the deck, head slamming against the wood hull. The world spun as you looked up, the sun stinging your eyes as you blearily looked at the world. Any mercy that Izzy had shown before had fallen away and as you stared up at what he really was; he was a killer.

Your sword was too far away. “Ste-” you started to call, desperate for some, any kind of help but were cut off as the the sharp point of izzy’s sword began to dig into your neck.

“Oh no you don’t” Izzy sneered “you don’t get to call for their help every time you’re stuck. Do you really think that they care for you? That they see you as anything but a nuisance? You are a passing fancy, and once they get bored of you, they’ll cast you off just like everything else.”

Izzy raised his arms again, scabbard in hand. This time the blow was meant to be deadly. You raised your hands to your face, waiting for the cut of the blade.

“IZZY” a booming voice called from behind the man. Izzy turned his gaze to see Ed running at him full speed, eyes practically glowing with rage as he disarmed his first mate and tackled him to the ground.

As the men fought, you could feel stede hoist you up to your feet. “Its okay my dear, you’re safe now. We’ve got you” he said gently.

The world seemed to sway as the blonde lifted you up. Closing your eyes, you let your head fall against his chest. Everything seemed to hurt and the world was fading further and further away from you.

“My dear i need you to stay awake” Stede said, tenderly stroking your jaw until your eyes opened again. His eyes seemed wilder than you had ever seen before, usual silky timber thick with anxiety. “What did he do darling? What happened?”

You blinked your eyes blearily, your pupils moving in and out of focus. “Me n’ Izzy were training. Said i made you two soft and that I had to go. Next thing I knew I was knocked to the ground.”

Stede’s heart had never broken more than in that moment. You looked so broken, and could not seem to stop shaking beside your best efforts.

“You son of a bitch” Ed snarled, finally pinning Izzy to the ground “what the fuck did you think you were doing? You could have killed her!”

Izzy’s face hardened “I’m doing what has to be done. What you don’t have the courage to do.”

If Ed hadn’t been mad before, he was furious now. He saw your crumpled form clinging onto stede to stay up, the fear in your eyes as you watched ed’s wrath come forward in unholy waves.

“You’re lucky I didn't kill you right here, right now.” Ed spoke, voice dangerously low, his face pushing into Izzy's “If you ever so much as think about hurting my daughter I won't stop at the toes next time.”

Ed pushed himself off, signaling to two of the crew to secure the first mate. “Lock him up in the brig. Bastard needs some time to rot”

It was just as he said this that your legs finally gave out, the world fading to inky black as you faded down into oblivion in the care of two leatherbound arms.

—

The gentle rocking of the boat stirred you from your sleep, your eyes opening to the dim captain’s quarters. Gingerly, you began to raise your head up off of the couch but tendrils of white hot pain reached up your neck.

“Don’t move darling” Stede cooed, pushing your hair back out of your face. “Ed’s gone to fetch some broth and a towel for you. Just relax”

Your head swam, a million questions floating through but one seemed to break through.

“Where’s Izzy?” you asked, your voice tightening suddenly.

Stede’s brows furrowed in confusion “Well, the boys threw him in the brig but i figure Ed wants to throw him in to the bottom of the ocean”

“You should let him out. He was only trying to protect Ed, I wasn't on my mark. I’ll be ready next time.” you spoke, fingers twisting into the fine blanket draped over you.

“He tried to kill you y/n. That man is not walking free any time soon”

“He was right, Stede!” you said, voice cracking as tears began to fill your eyes.

“Right about what little sparrow?” Ed’s voice called from the door.

Silent tears began to stream down your face, the weight of izzy’s words seeming to suddenly flatten you.

“Izzy said i was a bad influence on you. That my being here softened you and that you were better off without me. That you would move on just like everyone else does” you said barely above a whisper, unable to say it any louder before the tears overtook you.

When you looked to the side you expected two sullen faces in stark agreement, but as you looked to the men they had wet eyes taking in everything you had just said.

Ed was the first to break the silence, clearing his throat as it had tightened up. “Is it okay if i touch you y/n?” he asked gently.

You nodded, unable to speak without devolving into a stream of tears. Ed picked up your legs to sit on the couch, slipping them back over him as he took his position on the couch. Stede stayed at your side on the floor, watching you.

“Izzy may have known what i wanted when i was a young man” Ed started, choosing his words carefully as he traced patterns onto your calves “but he hasn’t understood me for a long time. This ship, Stede, You- that’s all I want now.”

You nodded your head slowly “So am i-”

Ed gave out a short laugh “Are you my kid? I’d say in all ways except biologically, yes.”

“And you’re also my kid” Stede interjected, brown eyes darting between the two of you “and as long as me and ed are alive your home is right here with us.”

“Good, that’s exactly where i want to be” you said.

And as the ship sailed on, taking you to unknown places and adventures you knew that there was nothing that would tear the three of you apart.

[cbk1000]

Anyway, here's some more of the sequel to the vet fic, because the world is hard and mean, and one overly long fic about two gays driving around the countryside helping sick animals wasn't enough:

The wedding was at Ripley Castle near Harrogate, and featured a cousin with whom Arthur was just close enough not to blow off the ceremony; though he wouldn’t have minded simply popping in for the vows, and the requisite after-vow pleasantries. But he had seen the opportunity to pry Merlin away for a holiday, on an estate large enough to avoid most of his family; and so Saturday they had put their rucksacks, their suits, and themselves, into the car, and were now going at a decent clip down the B6265, though Merlin thought it was codgerly.

“Does Gaius know to put the wet food on top of the dry food for Tessa, and not to mix it all together?”

“Yes, you mentioned it in the instructions we left.”

“And that Mixer can only go into the outdoor pens with George? And if he can’t find Cian, to check under the sofa?”

“Arthur, we are not leaving our infant child for the first time whilst we take our first holiday since we became new dads, we are leaving our four adult cats to be checked in on by a veterinarian who’s been practising about as long as either of us has been alive. I think he can handle feeding a finicky arshole.”

“I’m not sure if I remembered to mention George’s eye drops, though. Will you text Gaius?”

“You wrote six fucking pages on how to care for four cats for two days. You mentioned it.”

“Just text him, you knob.”

“Uncle Gaius,” Merlin sounded out obnoxiously as he typed. “Arthur thinks you are a helpless, blind old useless bat, and would like to reiterate how to feed a cat and administer eye drops.”

Arthur swiped blindly at his head with one hand, whilst the other he left planted on the wheel. “Should I text Morgana too, and have her check in on Gaius checking in on the cats?”

“Piss off.”

“Too bad she was too sick to come; I’d love to see Gwaine mixing it up with your relatives. Nobody would even notice you’re gay if Morgana had brought him.”

“Yes, I’m sure that would have gone well for everyone.”

Then Merlin changed the radio station, and they had a friendly dust-up, most of the remaining drive to Ripley, over the other’s objectively inferior taste in music; so that when they pulled up at The Boar’s Head where they would be staying, Arthur had almost forgot he was inevitably to see his father. Now the courtyard full of Pendragons brought it surging down on him, and he felt suddenly as overwhelmed as if they had converged on instead of glancingly glanced at the car. His whole body tightened; and the dread clash was in his chest, that brutal striving for life which in a fit man at an elevation the same as his native seems to herald the onset of death. He felt in the car in the middle of the day with no threat present but the threat of unpleasantness that he was carrying his doom. It was in his chest, where his breath had shortened, and quickened; all those impulses of the lizard brain which kept the cave dweller from being no more than some leftovers in his loincloth now were telling him that he would need to flee some pensioners in some church wear. His father was nowhere amongst them; but the possibility of him, the infinite possibility of if, was all round the car and beyond the car, where anything might happen to his heart.

And then Merlin said in the same voice he used with the animals, “Tell me five things you can see right now.”

“The steering wheel. My hand on the steering wheel. The door handle. The chip in the windshield. Your knee.”

“Five things you can feel?”

“The steering wheel under my hand. The seat under my legs. The air from the vents. The seat against my back. The steering wheel under my hand.”

“Five things you can hear?”

“Your breathing, your abysmal taste in music, the car engine, faint music outside the car, talking outside the car.”

“Four things you can see?”

And he walked him through the exercise like that, till they had got down to one item for each, and Arthur’s breathing was calmer. He flexed his stiff fingers on the steering wheel.

“It’ll be ok, Arthur. And if it’s not, I’ll headbutt some people, and we’ll leave.”

“Ok.” Arthur wiped his palms on his jeans.

Then they were out of the car, and Merlin said to the few friendly guests who found their arrival more interesting than their breakfast, “Hey; nice to meet you. Merlin. Really sorry, we’ll be down in a few minutes, yeah, I just need the loo really badly. Down from Emberford, yeah,” ushering Arthur through the crowd and into the Inn as deftly as he had ever done anything requiring motor skills. He had got the suits and the rucksacks out of the backseat, and kept himself now with their luggage between Arthur and any intrusives, using his dimples to plough a kind of furrow through to reception, so that everyone in his wake felt that they had been charmed instead of slighted. 

In their room he threw down the suits and bags on the bed, and said, “It’s nice. Not very castle-y, though. Do you want me to make you some tea?”

“No. We should probably go back down and mingle for a bit before we need to change.”

“Do you want me to blow you?”

“That’s--” Arthur paused. He did not know what part of ‘go down and mingle’ Merlin had confused for a sex act; but now that he had Arthur’s brain had got just as muddled. He separated out, after a moment, what he wanted to say, from what his penis wanted him to say. “What part of ‘I probably shouldn’t pause long enough for tea’ suggested to you that I thought we had time for sex before going back down to visit with the other wedding guests?”

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

playboyy ep 12 stray thoughts

- “damn i hate myself” real

- first soong being cute 🥹🥹

- you know shits about to get emotional when the soundtrack switches to yoiyami

- “you called me a friend when you weren’t pretending to be nant” AND WHAT IF I LOSE MY MIND

- zouey and nont besties agenda

- OH GOD ZOUEY BACKSTORY wait noooooo

- i guess the evidence is staying hidden then like boy are they in their failvestigator era oh nvm they found something (that they already knew but still that’s more than they usually get

- promnont !!!

- hold on they finally showing zoueyteena. they can never just give a quick handy either always gotta be invoking the religious implications of a renaissance painting… good for them (yes i include the popcorn scene in this) also top zouey truthers this one was for you!!!

- what are you hiding under that tarp zouey 🤨🤨 i think it’s of nant

- hold on teena’s necklace lmao. is the t for troy no it’s for *too sleepy to finish the bit*

- NO GET A JOB!! STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!

- finna beat the shit out of jason lee give me 10 seconds i could take him out

- what does he mean by keep an eye on…

- oop that scarf zouey in his horse girl era

- THEY DOING WHAT TO WHO?!?!?

- she is not scared of them at all like two absolute kitty cats of toruturers MEKEKFKKRKRJFJFJF NOT THE DUSTERS I CANT

- the drop of sweat deserves an award for perfect timing and i’m being so serious about this

- AHH PROMNONT i can’t handle them being affectionate like it makes me lose my oh not the fuckass product placemntsjdjjdjdjrjrjjejdjr you know what i got me some promnont crumbs i’ll take it

- so i’m gonna see this scene expanded in fic later right 👀 i’ll give a million kisses to anyone who decides to do it

- they can never argue using simple sentences it’s always “i feel bad that you feel bad that i felt bad” and “im mad that you got mad that i got mad” and “if you have a problem that we have a problem than the problem is you’re invalidating my feelings” “i didn’t think you would think about me thinking” like besties….

- see but zouey was kinda right… why is he being made the bad guy, first and captain kinda pissin me off

- girl YOU got him expelled. captain needs to be fr

- NONT WITH THE BIG PANT CROPPED SHORT COMBO THATS MY MAN

- these college athletes are plain evil

- puen lowkey the only one in this show consistently talking sense. i hope he gets his licks back on these bum bitches cause i’ve had it with them

- the coloring the coloring the coloring the coloring the coloring the projection the projection the projection

- THE. HESS BOARD BEING PROJECTED PLAYBOYY SURREALISM FOR THE WON ONCE AGAIN

- captain talking big game for someone who took sneaky clips. hoping this shows growth on his part cause deep down im still rooting for him

- captain sweaty blow up the whole establishment i support you

- NO CAPTAIN THATS NOT WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO THATS VERY MUCH MOT WHAT I JUST SAID YOU LITTLE BASTARD

- ooo the outro track finally making sense!! kejrjejdnjdj

- i love the when soong carries first

- oh more food, user @jeffsatyr i’m so sorry

- firstsoong enthusiasts we are so back oh there goes firsts fuckass dad

- captain needs to stop picking fights AND CAPTAINS A YANKEES fan i can’t defend him anymore

- puen fight back!!! he was going easy on captain cause he’s a nice little boy oh shit now aobs gonna kill captain isn’t he…

- captainkeenpuen enthusiasts don’t lose hope!!! we can still win!!

- aobpuen enthusiasts were so back

- THE COLORING THE COLORING THE COLORING

- the characters and 'accurately assessing the media their in' saga continues

- porsche looks like such a baby here. jump listen to porsche pls do not see him again

- cry by johannes bornlof is playing they fr pulling out the nuthphop ballads for the other couples today

- puen is my boy and i will lay down my life for him actually

- NONT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT IM GONNA WALHAT WHAT WYHAHW ok sorry yall him with the gun did sumn to me

- nont once again will not be caught slacking holding someone at gun point be damned AND ITS CAPTAIN WITB THE STEAL POLL?!?!?!?

- nont… i need to know how he picks outfits like did he want the color to match the gun????

- nont chuckling in the corner... i fear he’s lost it

- playboyy once again with the themes of tech and privacy

- captain is lucky puen is lowkey a pacifist

- nont and captain: torturing aob and puen for info about the murder, zoueyteena: painting time !!

- oh my god yall im getting chills like fr speechless i am so…

NUTH MY BABY BOY

- nuth coming through with his amateur directorial visions let’s gooooo

- nont being like “please do a little bit of torture, just for me, please 🥺”

- he playing the funeral violin oh it’s not ending well oh god

- jason lee you will crumble i am so serious about this count your mother fucking days

- nuth scurrying away in the back… also nont where is your marksmanship now

- puen keeps suffering tremendously and he doesn’t deserve a single second of it. free my boy he fr has never done anything wrong

- i think i was right and nuths screenplay is autobiographical

- THEYRE PLAYING AMBIVRLANT THOGUHTS AGAIN NUTHPHOP PIANO BALLAD ENTHUSAISTS WE STAY WELL FED

- nuthphop my beloveds i love them so fucking much you don’t get it no wait why he deleting them oh shit ! phop play shitty games win shitty prizes dawg

- welp

yall this might be one of the strongest eps in a hot minute i loved this one had me at the edge of my seat the whole time

[my-shields-are-down]

Jeans 👖

#one word prompt #Chenford one shot

REMEMBER: a one word prompt gets you a Chenford one-shot.

===========

“Don’t do it! Dad - do not do it! You DO NOT want to go in there right now. She’s kind of having a break down.” Tim stared down at his 16 year old daughter Diana, crossing his arms and widening his stance to match hers.

His baby girl who used to host tea parties with the neighbors’ dogs and her chinchillas, who used to rest her head on his shoulder when he read her bed time stories and explained the world to her, who now stood a few inches taller than her mom, with her thick wavy blond hair and her mom’s chocolate eyes brimming with mirth and laughter behind her, well his really, most intimidating TO scowl. She was gorgeous and kind and stubborn and cranky and if the rumors supplied by her younger brother were to be believed, she was secretly dating Angela’s son Mateo and she was by far, the most popular girl in school.

Diana was blocking his entrance into his and Lucy’s bedroom suite.

“I am not having a break-down!” came Lucy’s muted and slightly muffled voice from somewhere inside their bedroom.

“You know I can just pick you up and move you out of the way, right?”

“Oh really? Pff. Maybe when I was 7 and small for my age, you could grab me by my ankles and hold me upside down while telling me I was turning into a bat! I’m not gonna fall for that now!”

Tim looked down at her bare ankles and purple toenails as if considering doing that again. His back yelling at him internally to please, do not do that again.

Diana laughingly yelled back into the room, “he’s breaking through my defenses Mom! You might want to put some clothes on!”

Tim’s heart had started bursting at her laughter, because it was musical and happy like her mom and his mom, but then his eyes got big, and turned black with desire at the thought of Lucy unclothed less than 50 feet away.

Diana watched the shift in her Dad. Watching him shine love and affection down on her before shifting to something, deep, and feral, and fierce. She really enjoyed watching her Dad love her Mom. Yeah sure the PDA was over the top sometimes, but her parents without words had shown their kids that, deep, all-consuming love, affection and respect were possible and attainable. And worth it.

Then, with cat-like reflexes, Tim reaches forward and steps into a hug with Diana, wrapping his long arms around her, holding her close. Then before she could sink into the hug, he blows a raspberry on her neck and tickles her on her sides having effectively boxed her in with little wiggle room. Diana shrieks with laughter and instead of fighting like usual, tries the reflexive dead weight trick Aunt Nyla had shown her last week, sliding effortlessly out of his grasp to the ground before crab-crawling away and popping up again. “I’m immune to your tricks old man!”

Tim nods and points back at her with a huge grin while silently thanking both Angels and Nyla for suggesting the self-defense classes for Diana.

He then turns and enters his sanctuary - the part of the house where he feels the most at peace and at home because Lucy is here. Even after all these years, she makes his heart pound, his pulse race, and drives him crazy with desire. She’s his home in this building - their home.

“Luce - where are you love?”

“In here and yeah, I kind of am having a break-down.”

Tim pivots and heads to their walk in-closet to find Lucy sprawled on the floor in a navy blue t-shirt bra and boy short panties, one arm covering her eyes, and what looks like every pair of jeans they own strewn around her. She had been looking for something jeans related but now lay on the floor quietly crying.

Tim quickly lies down beside her and kisses her clavicle, right below where his very first Valentines Day gift still hangs around her neck. He’s given her quite a lot of jewelry over the years, but this simple gold circle on its delicate gold chain is worn almost every day since she got them.

“Honey, what’s with the jeans explosion? Aren’t you supposed to be at some garden party somewhere?”

“Yes, TJ’s school fundraiser garden party. I was there, wearing my favorite sunflower dress the one I always wear on Mother’s Day. But I was sent home for not wearing the ‘approved attire’ - jeans, a white top and a stupid garden hat covered in flowers. Apparently, I looked better than the hostess so she sent me home to change. That group clearly is still living in junior high. Ugh. It’s not my fault she’s a mean, angry, fat cow, that only fits into elastic-waisted jeans.”

“So then I get home, come up here and angrily start putting on jeans. And none of them fit! Not even my default safety jeans. The last time this happened I was pregnant with TJ. So I called the doctor to find out if that was even possible and she said no, it’s more likely due to the beginning of menopause. Then I started spiraling, thinking I’m turning into a blob who can only wear elastic wasted jeans. I understood Marjorie’s anger and then the tears came and they won’t stop. Your sexy wife is turning into a blob!”

Tim grabs Lucy and rolls them so she is laying on top of him, her head resting on his chest, and wraps his arms around her while kissing her temple. He holds her to him, lightly stroking her back, letting her cry it out. Over the years, they’ve mastered reading each other and silently communicating the kind of love and support needed in any situation. Right now Lucy needs quiet comfort.

When her breathing finally evens out and her tears stop flowing, Tim kisses her temple and says, “What did your Mom look like at your age? Your grandmothers? I don’t think I’ve ever seen elastic-waisted pants on any female in your family going back generations. Your DNA - your genes- are not programmed that way.

Which kind of is a bummer for me, because belt free, zipper free jeans? Hell yeah! A faster, easier way to get you naked? Sign. Me. Up! Why haven’t you been wearing those from the get go?

By now that’s hours, days, possibly weeks of extra naked time we missed out on because your jeans didn’t have an elastic waist band. I’m gonna sue for restitution - money, so I can take my honey on a multi-month, around-the-world-trip! A naked-time world tour, if you will.”

“You are ridiculous.”

“What I am, is stupidly, madly, deeply and completely head-over-heels in love with you. You could lose all your limbs and be a head and torso in a box and I would still be in love with you.”

“Oh god. We never should have watched that awful movie. A ‘Boxing Helena’ reference is not making me feel more attractive.”

“Ooh, but you know what will? My sex-on-a-stick husband romancing me tonight, on our back deck with candles, and fresh flowers, and something yummy on the grill. You can wear your khaki shorts and one of your snap shirts, and I can wear my sunflower dress. And you can unwrap me later.”

Tim immediately sits them both up, leans forward and kisses her silly. He is getting lucky tonight! (Well, really, he’d been lucky for a very long time).

“Diana! Grab your brothers and go to the Evers compound for the rest of the weekend- your mom and I need some time alone!”

[dawnfire12]

Criminal I Richie Gecko

word count: 1772

notes: The character is 20 years old and this is part one of Criminal one shot. It serves as a backstory for Part two but you can read Part two without reading part one.

Warning: violence, injury, hostage situation, murder

Summary: Angela Fuller didn't think she would meet anyone interesting at the Dew Drop Inn especially two criminal brothers who kidnap her and her family.

Part two

The hot Texan sun made dipping my toes in the motel pool such a relief. I sat by the side of the pool moving my legs back and forth. I glance over at my younger sister, Kate, who’s sitting on the white sunchair and immersed in her cell phone.

“Come on Katie pop! Dip your feet in the water, stop being so gloomy.” I encourage her.

She ignores me and keeps scrolling away.

I push myself off the ground and walk towards her. I yank her phone from her hand and glance at the screen. MOTOR VEHICLE ACCIDENT OF JACOB FULLER AND JENNIFER FULLER. 

I looked down at her,”Where did you get this?”

She crossed her arms, “Dad had the paperwork hidden under the RV?”

I shake my head, “You shouldn’t have looked at it.”

She glares at me, “Dad wasn’t telling us the truth! Something happened to mom and it’s his fault!”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about?”

She throws her hands up, “Why are you taking his side?”

“Because you don’t know what happened. You wouldn’t understand.”

“How could you know whether or not I can understand?”

I sigh, “Just take a dip in the pool and cool off. This heat isn’t helping your temper.”

She glares at me, moving off her chair and into the water. She swims a few laps around the pool before laying on her back to float. I run my hands through my hair and look to the side to see a man in a black suit and glasses approaching.

As he walks closer, his height increases and his walk is very smooth like a sauntering cat. I look away and turn my head back to my sister.

“Are you okay?” A voice asks me.

I look to my side and see that the man is standing next to me. Up close I can see he’s a handsome man with a structured face.

“Um yeah. I’m okay.” I breathe out.

He reaches into his jacket and brings out a cigarette carton. He places one in his mouth and offers me one. I slid it out of his fingers and placed it in my mouth. He puts the cigarette carton away and takes out a lighter. He lights my cigarette first before his.

“Didn’t your daddy never tell you to do this?” He asks me.

“To do what?” I arch my eyebrow.

“Talk to strangers.”

I smile,”You never know who could turn into a friend.”

He smiles, “You on vacation or something?”

“Sorta.”

“Not much of a vacation, huh?” He blows out.

“I mean who needs the Bahamas when you have the Dew Drop Inn?” I stub out the cigarette.

“You didn’t inhale.” He takes a seat next to me.

“Last thing I need right now is to die of lung cancer.”

He chuckles, “A lot on your plate?”

“You could say that.”

“You seem like a nice girl.”

“How would you know? I could be a terrible person.”

“I pick on things?”

“Oh yeah like what?”

“An older sister who cares for her family.”

I squint my eyes, “Why do you say that I’m an older sister.”

“The way you keep glancing at your sister in the pool.” He points.

“Well you’re right on that. The older sister has to make sure that nothing is falling apart even when it is.”

“You should tell her the truth.”

“What? The truth about our mother and how she was suffering this whole time. Our dad did the only thing he knew how. If I tell her that her soul could be crushed and I can’t do that to her. And I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”

“Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers.”

“I'm Angela.” I give him my hand.

“Aw now see you’ve gone and ruined the whole thing.” He shakes his hand and shakes my head.

“Well maybe we can be friends.”

He stares at me, “I’m Richard.”

Kate’s phone rings and I glance to see that it’s our dad calling. I glance at Richard,”Sorry. I should get this.”

He waves his hand, letting me know it’s okay.

“Hi dad.” I answer.

“Hey sweetie. Do you mind coming back up to the room?” My dad asks.

“Yeah, let me grab Kate.”

“Good. See you soon.”

I hung up the phone and stood up, “Kate, we got to go.”

She groans and starts swimming her way out.

I turn to Richard, “I’m sorry to cut this short but we have to go. Maybe we’ll see you around.”

I grab all of our stuff as Kate walks out of the pool.I meet her halfway and wrap a towel around her. We walk out of the pool and towards our room. I take one last look at Richard.

“It may be sooner than you think.” Richard mumbles to himself.

We walk up one flight of stairs and to the left. I put the key into the doorknob of the hotel room and opened it up to see our father and brother sitting on the bed with a stranger pointing a gun at them.

“Girls run!” Dad shouts.

We turn around and Richard is standing behind us.

“Good to see you again.” He towers over us. 

We tremble and back up into the room. Richard takes out his gun from his pants and motions us to sit down on a bed.

“Alright familia. Here’s the plan. Dad goes first. Boy Wonder and Angel go down with my brother. And Katie pop comes with me.” The stranger directs us.

“Let me talk to them first please.” Dad says.

The stranger groans,”Fine. One minute.”

Dad faces us, “We are going to listen to what they say. I promise we will get out of this alive. I know we are down a member but we are still a family.”

“Yeah, we are down a member. I wonder why that is, dad.” Kate accuses him.

“Kate, shut your mouth. We can talk about this later.” I hissed at her.

“Alright. Meeting over. Let’s go.” The stranger rushes us.

 Dad takes a suitcase and leaves the hotel room to the RV.

Richard stands up and claps his hand,”Our turn.”

The stranger hands another suitcase to Scott (our brother) and points his finger in his face,”No hero stuff.”

My brother huffs, grabs the bag and walks towards the door. I follow him until a hand snakes around my waist. I glance at the arm and look for its owner to see Richard staring down at me.

“We gotta play the part.” He squeezes my waist.

My eyes water and I look ahead, moving my feet that feel like dead weight. We start walking down the hallway and make it to the stairs where Scott stops.

“Do we have a problem Scott?” Richard cracks his neck.

Scott glares at him.

“It looks like you have something to say to me. Almost like a fuck you. Now, do I need to remind you I have a gun and your sister on my arm while my brother Seth has a gun pointed at your other sister?”

“No.” Scott looks away.

“Then let’s get a move on.”

We walked down the stairs and into the RV in the parking lot. We tumbled into the RV and Richard motions for us to sit in the back and after we follow his command he walks up front towards Dad and makes him move the car.

“BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!” Gunshots ring around the motel. 

I put my hands over my ears and shut my eyes. I feel arms come around me and I take my hands off my ears and squeeze the person hugging me. I hear the creak of the door of the RV open and a girlish scream. I open my eyes to see Kate falling in and Scott rushing over to help her. I hear a thump on the top of the RV.

“Step on it!” The person holding me demands.

I look up and see Richard staring down at me.

“You okay?” He softens his voice.

I nod, removing my arms from his back and rush over to Kate.

“Kate, are you okay?” I rub her arms up and down.

She shakily nods her head. I walk her over to the back of the RV where there’s a table and a wrap around seat.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I got you.” I bring her to my chest and pat her head as she cries. Scott sits in on the other side hugging her.

Richard walks over and sits in the seat in front of us with his gun pointing at us. 

“Can you move that away from us?” Scott nastily asks.

“Scott.” I whisper.

“He has a very sensitive gun that could go off any minute.”

Richard hums and lowers it a bit.

“Was it all a lie?” I ask Richard.

“No.” He states.

“So the whole act by the pool was real.”

“Yes. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“But you’ll point a gun at my family and I.”

He bangs his unaccompanied hand on the table,”Just so you won’t leave.”  

“I understand the concept of a hostage.”

He scoots in next to me and whispers,”No. So you wouldn’t leave.”

The smell of his cologne enters my nose and it smells like the embers from a fire. Our eyes connect and I get to see how blue his eyes really are. His eyes flicker down to my lips and he seems to move forward a bit.

A ruffle of a bag is towards the right of me and next thing I know Scott has a gun to Richard’s head.

“Get away from her!” Scott yells.

Richard exhales and moves back.

“Hey! Hey!” Seth comes over and points a gun at Scott.

“Scott please put the gun down.” Kate cries.

“This is such bullshit!” Scott exclaims.

“Son, put the gun down! I know how you’re feeling but you have to put the gun down and believe we are going to make it.” Dad persuades.

“Scott, don’t do this.” I pleaded with him.

While Scott deliberates on what to do, Dad slams his foot on the brakes causing Seth and Scott to fall to the ground and my head to hit the table. I hiss and hold my head.

“Angela.” Richard gently says and rubs his hand on my head.

“Ow. I don’t feel so good.” I say as black spots start to come into vision.

“Angela.” Richard repeats.

The black starts to take over my vision, "I’m just going to take a nap,” effectively passing out.

[phoenixcatch7]

LBH probably follows SQQ around whenever he goes crime-fighting. Even if SQQ told him to stay home, he’s still going to do it. So, imagine Batman running into Catwoman and stopping her from doing some crime. And she flirts with him as per her habit. Something like, “have you ever thought about bringing a feminine touch into your life 😉😉?” Cue Binghe popping up, “HE DOESN’T NEED A FEMININE TOUCH 😡😡! HE ALREADY HAS ME!!” Cat woman: Batman, who’s this? SQQ, trying not to facepalm: my husband.

Asdfghjkl absolutely!! I hadn't thought of that that's so funny. Batman would know lbh would be there anyway but as long as he can spin it properly, something something reputation, his husband should refrain from getting involved. Fingers crossed.

Anyone he brings on patrol has to just. Ignore the chimney radiating malice whenever they get in a fight. Damien handles it the worst lmao.

Of course catwoman, being catwoman, has not stopped flirting with b since they met. He's completely oblivious, but all the Robins (bar Damien, it's so obvious he's his father's son) get so embarrassed and honestly it's a game to see how blatant or crude she can get before either he realises or Robin successfully drags him away (or they arrest her). None of them really take it seriously anymore.

Until lbh arrives.

There's the normal chase scene across rooftops, ignoring taunts and teases, and then Spoiler cuts her off and there's a brief tussle. She starts her routine (my, you're looking awfully tense today. Cat got your tounge?) and generally making everyone on comms roll their eyes until there's a dark growl echoing from the overhang. Batman freezes and closes his eyes in resignation as a shadow drops down. Catwoman, as all women who don't know his reputation, immediately goes 'wow, that is a Very Hot Dude' and yes he's emanating aggression but unexpected flirting catches pretty much everyone off guard or at least softens the blows - and Batman isn't doing anything about him so he should be fine.

She tries to flirt with him too.

Unfortunately for the people on comms, this actually gets batman's attention. For the first time in the decade+ they've known him, he is noticing flirtation. And he is not happy.

Selina: *practically purring* ohhhh, who is this bad boy?

Lbh, This Close to pulling sqq off of her and tossing her off the roof: 😡 leave my husband. Alone.

Selina, who, having not successfully flirted with and lowered the guard of batman, doesn't actually know who he is:...... YOU'RE MARRIED??!! TO THIS HUNK?!!

Lbh, puffing up: I am - *batman releases her and launches across the roof to cover his mouth* ???

Sqq, abruptly realising that he doesn't have a secret identity for lbh despite the fact that they're having two marriages for their civilian and super sides, blanking: :) um. His name is. Um.

Lbh: I'm shizuns HUSBAND >:3

Selina, not bothering to get up (Robin pinned her down again), sensing a far better distraction/entertainment: oh? There's a lot of people who've claimed to have batman's heart over the years. Why should I believe you?.... Don't tell me you're just faking? Why, the batman I know would never take a lover.

Lbh: shizun? 🥺 Would you let this husband prove himself?

Sqq: no. I'm on the job.

Lbh, demon lord, married for literal centuries, fully down for any excuse to kiss his gorgeous husband: but!!! Shizun 🥺🥺🥺 don't you love me?

Sqq, reincarnated immortal, fully aware he is being played, also refusing to admit how much he missed him: hmph. Just a quick one.

Selina, in shock that that actually worked, watching BATMAN kissing an even taller man in a way that is most certainly not quick or chaste: oh my cats what.

Robin, age 12, having to watch his father and step dad French in full uniform IN FRONT OF THE CRIMINAL THEY WERE APPREHENDING: >:O!

(Everyone is still on comms. They are hearing it all.)

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Hey love. I’m having a crap day. Week really. And I’ve really been into my Matt and Nick feels lately. Can I request a little thing where the reader is just the Bucks fuck toy for the weekend or something? I dunno however you wanna take it or do you. Your stuff is always amazing and can’t ever go wrong with being the bucks pet. 🦌

Fuck.my.UP! *This was getting incredibly out of hand, so I had to stop at some point 😂*

Also this is our official welcome to Poppy! Because maybe she’ll pop *shameless dad joke* up more in the future, idk 🤷‍♀️

Tag: @theworldofotps , @writtingrose , @aerynscrichton , @daddyhausen , @damnnhausen , @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin , @sophiewolfheart-blog , @sultryfandoms , @new-zealand-chic , @crowleysqueenofhell , @thealliasylum , @legit9thlunaticwarrior , @baysexuality , @josiewrites , @seeingstarks , @sldghmmr , @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch , @whenimakeitshine1234 , @blaquekittycat , @tahiri-veyla

“Come here, pet. Come, come” The mocking tone of Matt's voice, followed by a small whistle, made you huff loudly: “If you ever do that again, I’ll cut your balls off!”

“Aww, what’s the matter, dovey? Am I offending your morals? Because we both know you have none of that” His chuckle resonated in your ear as he stood before you “If you did, you wouldn’t have agreed to this in the first place, right?” Matt’s hand came to rest on your face, where he pressed your cheeks together until your lips pouted. “What kind of respectful wife dreams about fucking her husband and his brother?” Matt’s teeth tugged on your pouty bottom lip until the flesh slowly slid from his grip.

“How long have you been wanting this, huh? Since when do you fuck Nick and think about me? How many years have you been dreaming about getting the big bro’s dick in you? Was that what you thought about on your honeymoon? While Nick fucked you from behind, did you wish I was there too? Just watching at first, until I finally judged you worthy of having me play with you too?”

A slow and predatory grin grew on Matt’s lips the more he spoke, “What’s wrong, dove? Cat got your tongue? Are you gonna scream for dear ol’ hubby to come and save you?”. His deep, brown eyes stared at you with amusement as he whispered: “What if I tell you he’s too busy enjoying this to make it stop? I can see him in the armchair behind you, and you should see how entertained he is by watching his little slut at my mercy”.

“Nick” You whined and tried to look over your shoulder at your husband, but a sharp pain on your cheek made you look back at Matt again.

“Don’t you EVER look away from me again, do you understand? I’m the one playing with you, so your focus stays on me!” His voice was cold and sinister, but a short chuckle escaped Nick’s lips, causing the atmosphere in the room to become less serious for a brief moment.

“Oh Matt, you shouldn’t have done that”

“Because?” The older man impatiently asked

“Because now Poppy will really want to play” The blue-eyed man answered matter-of-factly

“Poppy?” Matt frowned “Who the hell is-“

“You hit like a bitch! Is that all you got? How pitiful” You giggled while blowing a strand of hair away from your face

Nick stood up from his seat and made his way toward you.

“Hello, Poppy” He smiled widely “Long time no see”

“Hi, daddy” Your lips pouted at the younger Jackson “Kiss”

Nick quickly landed a soft peck on your lips that soon turned into a slow, sensual kiss.

“Did you come to play with us this weekend?” Nick caressed your cheek with his thumb, making you purr “I heard a thing or two about it, and when bitch Matty stepped up, I thought I should surprise him”

“You definitely did!” Nick chuckled before looking at his brother. “Matt, meet Poppy, my favorite little brat”

At the sound of the word “brat”, Matt felt his cock twitch in his pants. “Is that so?” He smirked as your eyes came to rest on his face.

“So you came to play with us then, Poppy?” Matt’s voice sounded amused and exciting in contrast to your petulant one “I came to play with daddy” You smiled widely at Nick before returning your gaze to the dark-haired man “Now you…I doubt you have what it takes to play with me”

“Oh really?” Matt closed the distance between you, and his hand came to rest on top of your head, tugging on your scalp with a medium strength, testing the waters of your initial play. “You don’t think I have what it takes then?”

“You’re not as good as daddy” You shrugged, causing the handcuff chains between your wrists to dingle with the small action.

“I’m better than daddy” He smirked

You leaned forward until your lips brushed against his bearded chin “Doubt it” was your small and teasing comeback.

Matt’s smirk grew wider “On your knees. Now!”

You chuckled with amusement “Make me, bitch!”

Matt’s fist closed harder around your hair, yanking you down on the floor with a force that was deadened by the fluffy living room rug “So this is how it’s gonna be, huh? Well, if that’s the case, you’re in for a long, LONG weekend, little dove”. His hand glued your face to his crotch, and you could feel his hardened length pressing against your cheek through the jeans.

When you looked up, Nick smiled down at you as he pulled his cock off his track pants. He slid the tip against your bottom lip, and you darted your tongue to taste his skin.

Matt gave a few slaps on your cheek before he teased with a cackle, “If you want to fit two cocks in your mouth, I suggest you open it wider, brat”

“Shut the fuck up” You spat back and focused your eyes back on your husband

The sapphire-eyed man chuckled and asked, “Are you ready to play, Poppy?”

“Yes, daddy” You purred as you opened your mouth and poked your tongue out to let him brush his crown against the pink muscle.

Matt leaned down until his lips grazed your ear shell “Don’t worry, Poppy. Once I’m done with you, you’ll be just as sweet and submissive to me, dovey”.

Your eyes gleamed with mischief as you gave soft kitten licks to Nick’s tip while looking at Matt “Do your worst, you wimp” was your last response before taking your husband’s length down your throat.

[silviakundera]

Empresses in the Palace Ep 24

aha! Though I felt last ep was sloppy, satisfying in this one for the emperor to finally catch on that Hua Fei is having too much conversation with her brother. The point to where she knows about battle results at the same speed as the emperor and coordinating requests for reward? No bueno.

The minion going after ZH's dad is bad timing (for my gf) but that doesn't feel as overly convenient as last episode, because they set this up previously and we've been waiting for the general's faction to take action. But yeah lmao NOT a good idea right now to remind the emperor that you're getting recognized & bowed to like royalty.

But then... they keep winning battles. He can't kill them, right? There's a danger there but they're so useful! lololol now the emperor knows what it's like to be riding a tiger.

Man, as much as Ling Rong annoys me these days I hope no one poisoned her to destroy her voice. Celestial!! That's a crime against nature.

Ep 25

So they stole the idea for the plague cure from Physician Wen?? Fr fr I guessed that at first, because of a couple moments I thought were foreshadowing. But then when the good doctor himself didn't have a shocked or upset reaction, I put that aside. Ok!! Maybe it makes that episode a bit better now in my eyes, that there were subtleties

Hua Fei, "You've been flaunting your pregnancy as if it were a golden ingot. What a small minded woman!"

everyone:

LMAO when I saw that incense scene at Lady Fusca's I was envisioning 3 or 4 different players all trying to poison her at once and cancelling each other out. And then LR's maid!! hahahahaha no but really I bet at least 1 other person is trying to murder her as they speak.

Fusca gonna finally bring unity to the harem by being the most annoying.

Physician Wen, why even tell the girls about the plot to spread the plague? They can't do anything about it. Just a blow to morale.

OMG WHAT LING LONG WHAT U DOING GIRL THE CAT?!?!?!

no I can't get over this serial killer behavior asdfghjk poisioning Pine Nut the cat is craaaaaazy

oh nevermind, just scheming an "accidental" miscarriage lol.

I really thought LR had a sudden vicious urge to vent her rage by murdering small animals 😂😭

oh shit, Zhen Huan is 2 months pregnant and everybody knows? 🚨 🚨 🚨

just hunker down stay in the house for the next 7 months tbh

I really like the empress dowager's style 👌. She's sharp, just practical about the darkness of palace life and picks her battles. Killing an imperial heir is her bottom line and she KNOWS the empress had a hand in this and refuses to pretend.

[sonicasura]

Kaiju No. 8: Hatching Second Chances

Here's the idea I mentioned in my previous KN8/DQM post. You can thank the egg mechanic introduced in the Dark Prince for this. Also I will be mentioning the original DQ4 story, not the remake. Let's get started.

Psaro the Manslayer was a very tragic soul. Child of a human mother and demon father who truly never had someone to guide him through life. The only people that tried were torn away from the man. He would die as a heavily disfigured monster born out of grief filled rage. Yet what if it truly wasn't the end?

What's left of Psaro soul would be reshaped into an egg and cast out from the world he born in. This being found on one fateful night by a 22 year old worker who spends his days cleaning giant monster corpses. Although the form the prince would take is the very monster he died as, any prior memories were replaced for careful childlike curiosity.

Kafka looked at what many would consider a monstrosity with empathetic pity. He will unknowingly take up a challenge as the man takes the strange creature home. Whether an abomination truly deserves love or not...

Yup! Kafka is gonna have quite the time with this newborn Psaro since he starts out as an Estark type monster due to the SoE's power persisting. The reborn prince has no memories of his past life at the moment so he's a completely blank slate. (Form in question if anyone is wondering.)

Do know Psaro's monster body ages pretty fast. I give about 2 years tops before the cat sized baby becomes the size of a building. Kafka luckily moved to the more mountainous countryside before that happens though. Psaro's mind is still childlike as his subdued human presents itself mentally and spiritually.

How Kafka raises him will affect more than just temperament. Pure love and care shall restore Psaro's human form(his current age equivalent) over time. Although strong enough emotions will make him 'poof' back into his Estark form.

Kafka definitely got spooked the first time it happens. Imagine surprising your 4 year old son (in human form) with the gift he wanted only for the child to poof back into his giant monster form. Luckily they were at home during that time and not in public.

Kafka would do his best to safely raise Psaro. There have been some close shaves as the monster youth tends to be aware and quite protective of his small father. One particular incident had Psaro spotted by the Defense Force. Let's just a say Kaiju jumped a 28 year old Kafka at work and the Estark would try to gently carry his hurt dad back home.

The Defense Force does try to 'rescue' the still visored worker only for the 'kaiju' to swat away their attempts before successfully fleeing. (Kafka told Psaro not to harm humans so the Estark did listen by blowing away rescuers who got too close like they were puffballs or breathing thick mist.) The whole incident still dances around in the Defense Force's mind especially since one officer reported the Cleaner calling the monster Psaro.

A human raising a kaiju was an already insane idea. Yet this 'Psaro' harmlessly kept officers and rescue workers away from the injured man. Almost like a frantic child scared that someone will take their parent away. The fact the only thing it killed was the attacking Kaiju only add fuel to the theory's fire.

Defense Force would do try to find the duo again whether it be Psaro or their parent. Kafka definitely has a bullet to dodge when an old childhood face shows up at his work interviewing his fellow Sweepers. Now whether I make two separate paths at this point is a tossup.

One is manages to avoid being outted as Psaro's human parent and canon KN8 events follow. The second being Kafka's caught in his half truths. Whether he willing goes with Mina or goes on the run for awhile with Psaro is also unclear. Latter option being that his son is still iffy around humans and he's scared harm would come to him.

This is what I have so far. But what do you guys think?

@foolmariofest

[arvadthecursed]

y'all I have drama to share.

so basically. a few days ago my sister texts me for the first time in a couple weeks that she found a cat dumped on the side of the road as she was coming back from her boyfriend's house. She took the cat to her dorm and has decided to keep her (the cat, btw, is now named Tuberculosis, Teddy for short? It's just Teddy to me. I refuse to call her Tuberculosis.)

Liss said that our dad was "possessive" over Declan so Teddy will replace Declan as her ESA. TLDR; Declan is an extremely social animal and couldn't handle being in my sister's tiny dorm room by himself all day and started tearing shit up, my sister begged my parents to come get him and take him back with us. This has happened multiple times over the past 2 years.

anyway, Liss was going to just. Bring her home? Without warning our parents? I managed to convince her that that was a Terrible Fucking Idea and she needs to tell them. So tonight she's writing up something to tell them about Teddy.

I refuse to get involved further either way. It'll be frustrating dealing with both sides and it will be significantly worse if I take a side. But! It should, at the very least, be somewhat entertaining. My mom and Liss have already been arguing about Liss going to see her friends this winter so this is really just the tip of the iceberg I think.

Man. I am trying to prepare for the Inevitable Blow Up And Horrible Drama this is going to cause but I'm also kind of 👀❓ on how this will play out. I have an inkling of an idea but who knows! I could be surprised.

[hetagrammy]

Your fan kiddos are interesting :0 (maybe it's because I also like making fan children lmao)

I would love for you to elaborate more on them

Aw thank you! <3 Not sure what to elaborate on, so I'll elaborate a little more on their personalities and relationships with each other (feat. some relatively old art) under the cut. Warning for my word vomit haha

So first of all, there's the age differences. The kids are sort of grouped together in two halves with the oldest four and the younger three. Sebastiano and Caterina are twins, Felice is two years younger than them, and Una is a year younger than Felice. Saoirse is a little less than four years younger than Una, Brigid is three years younger than her, and Maria is three years younger than Brigid. Therefore, there's a roughly 14 year gap between the twins and Maria.

Sebastiano and Caterina were the first to really come into being, Sebastiano especially because he'd originally just been Seborga. Sebastiano being the only boy came from this ongoing joke about him sort of being the James Maguire of the family, and it got boosted by Lovino just sort of having girl dad energy. Sebastiano kind of got the best of both his parents: he got all of Molly's amiability and Lovino's charm, but neither of their tempers. He's a bit of a lady's man like his dad was, albeit a lot less subtle with how he goes about it. He 100% uses his younger sisters to get girls to like him because he's doing the bare minimum by taking care of his baby sister (don't be fooled though, he would do anything for Brigid and Maria):

He also tends to act with his heart before his head a lot of the time, so he doesn't come off as the sharpest tool in the shed.

Caterina got the brain cells Sebastiano didn't, and her personality tends to be a bit bigger. She's very blunt and exacting when she needs to be with people, but she's more patient than she seems. She'll get annoyed and she'll show it, but it takes a lot for her to blow up. She's the first to take charge, she has a strong sense of herself and her authority as an older sibling. She's a lot like Lovino in the sense that she cares a lot about the people she's close to, she just doesn't know how to express that in a typical way. She's also got an interest in things like the occult on the down low that a lot of people don't expect out of her, which can be kind of funny. She's superstitious like her Ma.

Felice is the quintessential middle child. She got Molly's mischievous streak and Lovino's penchant for dodging work, all of which comes from a sense of play. She jokes on people and roasts them, but it's rarely meanspirited, even if it can go too far sometimes. She and Caterina tend to snipe at each other, because Felice is really clownish while Cat is more reserved and responsible. At the end of the day they both have things they are jealous of and admire in the other (Cat's drive and Felice's sociability). Felice and Sebastiano on the other hand have a very ride-or-die attitude with each other and get up to shenanigans a lot.

Una is the most mellow of her siblings, but she's still got a lot to her. Though quiet, she's spacey and eccentric rather than shy. When she does speak, she doesn’t have a filter, so she tends to ask or state things that are socially inappropriate. She also often takes things literally and is slow to pick up on sarcasm. Only thing shielding her from being a target is that she roasts people without even meaning to. However, she’s also much smarter than people perceive her to be in an academic sense. She's also rarely judgmental of others even if she's blunt about them. Caterina is actually very close with her because Una ironically tends to misconstrue her the least.

Saoirse has some of the bigger age gaps within the siblings, and for a while people thought she was going to be the last child. As a result, she tends to act with so much youngest sibling energy even if she isn't. She's very dramatic and reactive, and she will snitch if pressured or incentivized because she is her father's daughter through and through. She's also good at measuring risk, and she is very attentive and loving and bubbly when she's in a good mood. She just has a lot of emotions and a lot of anxiety, and is still learning how to manage that. She starts to channel that into gardening when she gets older though, she and Lovino run that garden like it's the damn navy.

Brigid is perceptive and precocious, and very book smart. She's like Molly was at that age but if you replaced the mischief with sarcasm. She's the most introverted, and she's really content to stay out of the spotlight rather than compete with six other strong personalities for it. She likes to help Lovino cook, which she seems to have a talent for. She and Maria are two peas in a pod. Saoirse also loves Brigid, they had that deal where Saoirse hated the idea of a younger sibling until she was actually born and then was just sold. Asking to carry her around, dragging her everywhere, talking to her all the time. Brigid is used to it.

Maria is very much so the tagalong kid type. She looks up to Caterina so so much and they have a very Lilo and Nani sort of dynamic. Surefire way to tell them apart when I draw them as young children (aside from Maria's freckles) is that little Caterina wears two bows on either side, Maria wears one bow at the back of her head because she's trying to imitate Caterina (who started wearing that style as she got older). She's more sheltered and she's also very nosy, she wants to be in everyone's business. She's always underfoot with one of her siblings, if not one of her parents. They're all also very protective of her, but she's like Molly in the sense that she cares a lot about being self-sufficient and playing an active role in things. Essentially, she's the baby who's getting it figured out.

But yeah, that's the kids and how some of their dynamics are!